"They Need To Leave NOW"

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show Highlights – "They Need To Leave NOW"

Episode Overview Released on July 20, 2025, "They Need To Leave NOW" is a compelling episode of The Ramsey Show Highlights. Hosted by the Ramsey Network, this episode delves into a listener's urgent request for advice on assisting their mother and two younger sisters fleeing an abusive situation in Oregon to Fort Worth. The discussion offers practical financial and emotional strategies to ensure a safe transition and sustainable future for the family.

Main Discussion Points

1. Listener’s Dilemma: Fleeing an Abusive Environment

   The episode centers around a caller seeking guidance on relocating their mother and two sisters from Oregon to Fort Worth to escape an abusive relationship involving their father or stepfather. The caller explains the current predicament:

   "I have questions regarding what to do about my mom and my two youngest sisters who just graduated high school and college. They're in a bad situation, and they're trying to get out here to us, and we were looking out." (00:21)

2. Host and Counselor’s Immediate Response

   The host promptly addresses the urgency of the situation, emphasizing the need for swift action to remove the family from the abusive environment. The primary recommendation is to secure a rental property as a temporary safe haven:

   "No, let's get them into a rental and get sustainability and get them out of the abuse now." – Host (01:37)

   The counselor reinforces this advice by highlighting the importance of immediate relocation and employment to foster independence:

   "The first thing you'll need to do is get here and get a job, even if it's just a... something. And it will give them something to go towards, not just running from an awful situation and just sitting." – Counselor (02:02)

3. Financial Planning and Support

   The discussion transitions to the financial aspects of relocating the family. The counselor advises utilizing budgeting tools to manage expenses effectively during the transition:

   "We've set you up, we've got your first month's rent taken care of, and we paid the deposit, which is the last month's rent." – Counselor (02:07)

   The host emphasizes the significance of financial independence in the healing process:

   "They don't need to be living with people that are going through this healing process. They need to be doing... it's good for them in the healing to stand alone and create a sustainable environment." – Host (02:44)

4. Emotional Healing and Independence

   Beyond financial assistance, the episode underscores the necessity of emotional healing and self-reliance for the victims of abuse. The host and counselor discuss the psychological aspects of leaving an abusive situation:

   "Part of their healing will be their bodies learning to trust them again, too." – Counselor (02:02)

   The host further elaborates on the importance of establishing dignity and self-sufficiency:

   "They need the emotional healing and the dignity of creating a sustainable life without the abuser and without sister being a crutch." – Host (03:00)

5. Overcoming Resistance and Encouraging Action

   The caller expresses frustration over the reluctance of their mother and sisters to leave, attributing it to emotional attachment and fear. The host acknowledges these challenges and urges decisive action:

   "They need to leave now. Let me tell you, in a domestic violence situation... they need to leave now." – Host (03:32)

   The counselor adds that sometimes victims cling to hope for change, which may never come:

   "They have this ridiculous idea that the moron who's using them as a punching bag is going to change. They need to leave now." – Host (03:32)

6. Long-Term Solutions and Sustainability

   The conversation concludes with strategies for long-term stability. The host suggests that while immediate relocation is crucial, establishing a permanent, supportive environment is equally important:

   "Divorce will take care of taking the house away from him. You don't have to worry about that." – Host (04:35)

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• "They need to leave now. Let me tell you, in a domestic violence situation, in an abuse situation, the victim will hang on and hang on and hang on and hang on and have every excuse in the world to hang on..." – Host (03:32)

• "We've set you up, we've got your first month's rent taken care of, and we paid the deposit, which is the last month's rent." – Counselor (02:07)

• "They need the emotional healing and the dignity of creating a sustainable life without the abuser and without sister being a crutch." – Host (03:00)

• "Part of their healing will be their bodies learning to trust them again, too." – Counselor (02:02)

Key Insights and Takeaways

• Immediate Action is Crucial: In abusive situations, delaying can have severe consequences. Secure a safe location promptly to prevent further harm.

• Financial Independence Facilitates Healing: Providing financial support, such as covering the first month's rent and deposit, empowers the victims to build a stable and independent life.

• Emotional Support is Essential: Beyond physical safety, addressing the emotional trauma is vital for long-term recovery. Encouraging independence aids in regaining self-esteem and trust.

• Overcoming Resistance Requires Persistence: Victims may resist leaving due to emotional bonds or fear. Persistent and compassionate encouragement is necessary to help them take the crucial step forward.

Conclusion

"They Need To Leave NOW" offers a heartfelt and practical guide for listeners facing similar challenges. By blending financial advice with emotional support strategies, the episode provides a comprehensive approach to overcoming abusive environments. The host and counselor’s empathetic yet decisive guidance equips listeners with the tools needed to facilitate a safe and sustainable transition for their loved ones.

#Timestamps

• 00:21: Caller describes the situation.
• 01:37: Host advises immediate relocation.
• 02:02: Counselor emphasizes getting jobs.
• 02:07: Counselor discusses financial setup.
• 02:44: Host on emotional healing.
• 03:00: Host on dignity and sustainability.
• 03:32: Host urges immediate action.
• 04:35: Host on long-term stability.

Transcript

[Caller]

Mama. Papa. Mi cuerpo.

[Counselor]

Crece a un ridmo alarmante Il arro. Pamela.

[Host]

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[Caller]

I have questions regarding what to do about my mom and my two youngest sisters who just graduated high school and college. They're in a bad situation, and they're trying to get out here to us, and we were looking out.

[Host]

Out here from where?

[Caller]

Sorry? From Oregon to Fort Worth.

[Host]

Okay. And why are they in a bad situation?

[Caller]

Abusive, sir.

[Host]

Okay, so like a stepfather or father?

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[Host]

Okay. All right. Have they left yet?

[Caller]

No, sir. We've been trying to financially get them where they can leave, and we've been offering to take them in, and we're finally in a situation where we can do that better. So we were looking at either renting another place to help them initially for them, like first and last, set them up. They're actively looking for jobs, or we could go ahead and buy a place that we could all live in, because that's our goal anyways. And eventually we're going to take in my mom.

[Host]

No, let's get them into a rental and get us. Get. Get a sustainability and get them out of the abuse now.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Host]

They don't need to be there another minute.

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[Host]

They need to leave. Tell them to get down there this week and y' all find them a rental property. That's. It's that simple. And then they get jobs and they create a sustainable life and they begin their healing process. Yeah, this is a. There's a world of hurt going on here, and there's a process they're going to go through to. To heal after this, John.

[Counselor]

Yeah, and this is going to sound counterintuitive, but part of their healing will be their bodies learning to trust them again, too. And that sounds like a mess. We don't have time to go into it all, but you saying that we've set you up, we've got your first month's rent taken care of, is super generous, and we paid the deposit, which is the last month's rent. The first thing you'll need to do is get here and get a job, even if it's just a. Not a forever job, of course, but just something. And it will give them something to go towards, not just running from an awful situation and just sitting. You get what I'm saying? So that would actually be a blessing. But you. Them staying there for another day while you put your house on the market. You'll look for a house, and it closes in 30 to 60 days.

[Host]

Well, and you don't need to be living with people that are going through this healing process. They need to be doing. It's good for them in the healing to stand alone and create a sustainable environment. The dignity of that. They're gonna help heal from the abuse.

[Counselor]

And you'll be over there all the time anyway, right?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Counselor]

Yeah. Y' all are good family man.

[Host]

These.

[Counselor]

Is this your brother? Sister? Who is this?

[Caller]

It's my mom and my two youngest sisters.

[Counselor]

Okay.

[Host]

How old are the. How old are your youngest sisters?

[Caller]

Last time I checked, it's terrible to keep track. 18 and 22, I think.

[Host]

Okay, so there. Everybody's old enough to work then?

[Caller]

Yes, yes.

[Host]

Okay.

[Caller]

They've been working part time.

[Host]

Tell them to pack their clothes and come to Texas now.

[Counselor]

Yeah. Get out of that mess right now.

[Caller]

What I've been telling them to do.

[Host]

Yes, right now.

[Caller]

My husband as well.

[Host]

Yeah. And if you got to put them in a hotel for a week while you get a rental house lined up, that's fine. They need to leave the abuser now. Let me tell you, in a domestic violence situation, in an abuse situation, the victim will hang on and hang on and hang on and hang on and have every excuse in the world to hang on because they have this ridiculous idea that the moron who's using them as a punching bag is going to change. They need to leave now. Okay.

[Caller]

Yes, sir. We've been trying. Yes.

[Host]

Now I'm serious. I'm going to get up in their face because they are in danger. They need to leave now. What?

[Caller]

Yes. We've been trying to get. We've been trying to get them to leave immediately, but they keep coming up.

[Counselor]

Why is the 18 and 22 year old staying there? They're emancipated. They can go. Why are they choosing to stay in that mess too?

[Caller]

They're there to stay with my mom as well. They don't leave her behind.

[Counselor]

If we're really honest, is your mom going to leave or no?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Counselor]

Yes, she will.

[Caller]

She's going to leave.

[Host]

Then why has she.

[Caller]

I grew up financially. No, no, no.

[Host]

Right now you've told her you would take care of the hotel. Move. Go right now, load your stuff in the car and come now. Why hasn't she done that?

[Caller]

My mom and my sisters are not liking the fact that they have to leave. They don't. They. It's a whole stand your ground. They, they. How do they put it? They shouldn't be the ones to leave.

[Counselor]

I got it. I got it. They shouldn't be there. They shouldn't be.

[Host]

It's not fair, but it's also not going to change.

[Caller]

Yes, yes.

[Counselor]

We're preaching to the choir here. We know.

[Host]

Yeah. Okay.

[Counselor]

Yeah.

[Host]

This is your only option. And no, you don't need. It's not good for them to be in the same property with you. It is not good for them at all. They need the emotional healing and the dignity of creating a sustainable life without the abuser and without sister being a crutch. And so you can support them and help them get started. Like John said, help them get moved. But man, this is bad. And let me tell you what, stand your ground usually means something violent in reverse. And you don't need to be doing that. That's not a good phrase to use. That's a phrase used in the law about protecting your home and shooting someone. That's not a phrase you should be hearing coming out of their mouth right now. They need to get out of there. And even though it's not right, not fair, whatever, divorce will take care of taking the house away from him. You don't have to worry about that. And wow, it's probably been going on for years. Create your free everydollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.