The Ramsey Show Highlights

Episode Title: This Should Scare The Crap Out Of You
Date: October 12, 2025
Host(s): Dave Ramsey & George Kamel
Caller: Noel

Episode Overview

In this episode, Dave Ramsey and George Kamel respond to a call from Noel, a 25-year-old professional navigating relationship and financial challenges. Noel seeks guidance after her live-in boyfriend has been unemployed for three months and is hesitant to take work beneath his prior income level. The conversation unpacks the emotional and practical red flags this situation raises, with tough love, financial advice, and some hard truths about relationships, responsibility, and what it means to step up in tough times.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Noel’s Situation (00:06–01:58)

• Background: Noel, 25, earning ~$90k in digital marketing, pursuing an MBA, and living with her boyfriend of two years.
• Financial Arrangement: Initially, boyfriend paid $1,300 rent; Noel covered groceries and utilities, with other expenses separated.
• Current Stressors: Boyfriend unemployed for three months, paid rent last month but unable to this month. Noel expresses concern over continuing the arrangement and splitting finances.
• Noel’s Question: Is it wise to dip into her savings or keep splitting things 50/50 while he is jobless?

2. Red Flags in Relationships & Finances (01:58–03:07)

• Dave’s Observations: The fact that Noel is asking reflects underlying concerns about her boyfriend’s initiative and commitment.
  • Quote: “There are red flags swirling. What is it that makes you call and ask this question...not think about this dude as marriage potential?” — Dave (01:58)
• Core Issue: Boyfriend is selectively job-hunting, avoiding lower-paid or part-time work, which makes Noel worry he is too picky in a tough market.

3. The State of the Job Market & Taking Any Job (03:07–05:05)

• Ramsey’s Context: The job market is soft with rising unemployment, meaning it is harder to get hired—but that does not excuse total inactivity.
• Necessity of Action: Dave emphasizes the importance of taking any available work, especially for emotional and mental health.
  • Quote: “This young man for his own mental and emotional health needs to be doing something.” — Dave (03:36)
• Empathy for Job Loss: Ramsey acknowledges that job loss deals a significant emotional blow but adds, “we don't just sit at home.”
• Relationship Advice: Dave advises separating finances immediately and pausing any long-term plans until boyfriend proves himself.

4. Relationship Boundaries & Protecting Finances (05:05–06:50)

• George’s Take: It's not punishment but necessary self-protection: “This is making it more and more clear...because he has you to float him, I think that's creating a sense of kind of comfort and complacency.” (05:20)
• Accountability: Dave shares, “If I lost my job, there is no sitting around for three months. Nothing. I'm working, I'm busting it.” (05:37)
• Implications for the Future: Consider what would happen if this happened when they had children—a sobering warning.

5. Press Pause—Assessing Character (06:16–07:13)

• Noel’s Approach: She expresses a contrasting attitude: “My mindset is like, if I want a job by this date, I'm having it. I don't care what it is or how much it pays.” (06:16)
• Dave’s Advice: “I’m not telling you what to do in this relationship, but I’m telling you to press pause…until we see how this dude steps up.” (06:31)
• Transparency with Partner: Both hosts encourage direct but professional confrontation—even if uncomfortable.

6. Lease Logistics & Taking Action (07:13–08:08)

• Lease Runs Until April: Practical advice is given about what to do moving forward, including finding a new roommate.
• Financial Protection: Don’t be guilted into covering rent. “That’s not passive aggressive. That’s a legitimate move. That’s protecting your finances. And if Sparky doesn't like it, tough.” — Dave (07:57)

7. Validating Instincts & Worth (08:08–09:12)

• Instincts Matter: Dave affirms that Noel’s gut reaction is correct—“Your instincts are completely right.” (08:12)
• Deserving More: She deserves a partner who steps up: “You deserve a guy…who’s like, man, Noel’s worth this 100%.” — Dave (08:39)
• Research Confirmation: George references Professor Scott Galloway: “What women are looking for is a man's ability to provide future resources. And so this is a signal, and you should be paying attention to it.” (08:55)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “There are red flags swirling. What is it that makes you call and ask this question…not think about this dude as marriage potential?” — Dave (01:58)
• “This young man for his own mental and emotional health needs to be doing something.” — Dave (03:36)
• “Because he has you to float him, I think that's creating a sense of kind of comfort and complacency.” — George (05:20)
• “If I lost my job, there is no sitting around for three months. Nothing. I'm working, I'm busting it.” — Dave (05:37)
• “You are not dramatic, Noel. You are sharp. You’ve got your act together…You deserve a guy…who’s like, man, Noel’s worth this 100%.” — Dave (08:39)
• “What women are looking for is a man's ability to provide future resources. And so this is a signal, and you should be paying attention to it.” — George (08:55)

Key Timestamps

• Noel’s Background: 00:06–01:58
• Addressing Relationship Red Flags: 01:58–03:07
• Job Market Discussion & Initiative: 03:07–05:05
• Advice on Separating Finances and Relationship Pause: 05:05–06:50
• Emotional Readiness & Assertiveness: 06:16–07:13
• Lease Practicality & Steps Forward: 07:13–08:08
• Affirmation & Research on Relationship Dynamics: 08:08–09:12

Tone & Approach

• Direct, Candid Advice: The hosts deliver tough love, blending empathy with practical financial guidance.
• Empowering Message: Noel is encouraged to stand up for herself, trust her instincts, and not devalue her worth.
• Clear Action Steps: Both personal and relational boundaries are stressed alongside financial priorities.

Summary Takeaway

Dave and George urge listeners—and especially Noel—to watch for character and motivation when making shared financial or life decisions. They stress the importance of action in adversity, assertiveness in setting boundaries, and the confidence to expect—and require—more from a partner, especially when faced with red flags.

Final Word:
“Take it from your fake podcast dad. You're worth way more. And you got to take care of you.” — Dave Ramsey (09:12)