We Can't Afford Groceries Due To My Husband's Drug Addiction (Making $156,000 A Year)

Summary

Summary of "We Can't Afford Groceries Due To My Husband's Drug Addiction (Making $156,000 A Year)"

Released on July 14, 2025, "The Ramsey Show Highlights" episode tackles the complex intersection of financial strain and personal struggles within a household. Hosted by the Ramsey Network, this episode features a caller, Megan, seeking guidance on managing her family's budget amidst her husband's addiction.

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1. Introduction to Megan's Dilemma

The episode opens with Megan reaching out for advice after facing escalating financial pressures due to her husband's substance use. She provides a comprehensive overview of her situation:

• Personal Background: Megan is currently pregnant with her third child and has recently endured the loss of both her husband’s father and grandfather.
• Financial Strain: Her husband, who is the sole earner with an annual income of $156,000, has been grappling with addictions to tobacco and marijuana. These habits have significantly impacted their finances, with his spending on addictions doubling over the past few months, reaching $700 last month alone.

Megan states at [00:02]:
"My husband is an addict. He on average spends about $6,000 a year on his addiction to tobacco and marijuana... Last month was $700 alone on his addictions."

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2. Evaluating the Financial Situation

Megan presents a critical financial decision she's contemplating:

• Car Payment: They have a monthly car payment of $600 with an outstanding loan of approximately $20,000. Megan considers paying off this loan to free up $600 each month to allocate towards groceries and other bills.
• Emergency Reserve: After settling the car loan, she believes they would still maintain a six-month emergency fund as per Dave Ramsey's recommendations.

However, Megan expresses concern that eliminating the car payment might lead to unregulated spending on her husband's addictions, exacerbating their financial instability.

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3. Assessing the Nature of the Addiction

Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze engage Megan in a discussion to understand the depth of her husband's addiction:

• Acknowledgment vs. Action: While Megan claims that her husband acknowledges his addiction and expresses a desire to seek help, the hosts probe the sincerity and consistency of his commitment. Rachel Cruze questions the frequency of his "come to Jesus" moments, highlighting a lack of sustained action.

Rachel Cruze questions at [01:58]:
"Does he agree that he has a problem? Is he willing to get help?"

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4. Clarifying Terminology and Its Impact

A significant portion of the conversation revolves around the terminology used to describe Megan's husband's behavior:

• Addict vs. Casual Use: Dave Ramsey challenges the use of the term "addict" by contrasting it with scenarios where the spending on substances is either manageable or indicative of deeper issues. He emphasizes that labeling someone as an addict should correspond with serious, consequential actions.

Dave Ramsey remarks at [03:17]:
"Then how does he get money for pot?"
"If you're going to call him an addict, you're gonna have to act like it."
"Otherwise you could just say my husband smokes some pot sometimes and he drinks sometimes, and it runs about 500 bucks a month."

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5. Financial Breakdown and Budget Analysis

The hosts delve into the specifics of Megan's household finances to identify discrepancies and areas for improvement:

• Household Income: $156,000 annually, with Megan being a stay-at-home mom.
• Major Expenses:
  • Mortgage: $3,400 per month.
  • Car Payment: $600 per month.
  • 401k Contributions: Megan notes her husband contributes to a 401k, though she's uncertain about the specifics.
• Addiction-Related Spending: Recently increased to $700 per month.

Megan clarifies at [07:14]:
"Megan: Car payment is 600."

Dave Ramsey points out at [07:32]:
"You got way too much coming out of this check. You must be putting money in 401k."

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6. Recommendations and Next Steps

Based on the analysis, Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze offer actionable advice to Megan:

• Control Over Finances: They suggest that Megan should take full control of the household finances, limiting her husband's access to funds to prevent further unregulated spending on his addictions.

• Seek Professional Help: The couple emphasizes the need for Megan and her husband to engage in marriage counseling to address both the addiction and its impact on their relationship and family.

• Re-evaluating the Addiction Label: Dave Ramsey advises Megan to reassess whether her husband's behavior truly constitutes an addiction. If it does, more drastic measures may be necessary to protect the family's well-being.

Rachel Cruze advises at [05:28]:
"But you use this like it's part of the budget."
"Have you had the conversation of, well, if you're not going to get help, I need to be in control of the money because you're gonna starve us?"

Dave Ramsey concludes at [07:44]:
"You guys got serious other issues, hun. Y'all need to sit down with a good marriage counselor."

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7. Conclusion

The episode underscores the delicate balance between managing household finances and addressing personal challenges within a family. Megan is encouraged to take decisive action in controlling the finances and seeking professional help to navigate her husband's addiction, ensuring the stability and well-being of her family.

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Notable Quotes:

• Megan at [00:02]:
  "My husband is an addict... Last month was $700 alone on his addictions."

• Dave Ramsey at [03:35]:
  "If you're going to call him an addict, you're gonna have to act like it."

• Rachel Cruze at [05:37]:
  "Why if you said you've had several come to Jesus moments and he's clearly not gotten the help..."

• Dave Ramsey at [07:44]:
  "You guys got serious other issues, hun. Y'all need to sit down with a good marriage counselor."

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This summary encapsulates the key discussions and insights from the episode, providing a comprehensive overview for those who haven't listened while highlighting crucial points through direct quotes and timestamps.

Transcript

[Megan]

Brought to you by chm, a biblically based alternative to health insurance. Learn [e-mail] budget well, just quick context. My husband is an addict. He on average spends about $6,000 a year on his addiction to tobacco and marijuana. We've had kind of a rough couple of months. His father passed away, his grandfather passed away. I'm currently pregnant with our third child and taking a toll on him. So I've actually seen his spending go up a little bit. Shouldn't say a little bit. It's kind of doubled in the past couple months. Last month was $700 alone on his addictions. Anyway, that by way of context, my main question is we have a car payment. It's 600amonth. We currently have the cash that I could write a check, pay off the car. The loan is $20,000 and some change and we would still have six months emergency reserve like you suggest. My concern is with his kind of out of control and erratic behavior right now. I'm afraid if I do cut a check, pay off the car, and we gain the $600 monthly to help with groceries and other bills, I'm afraid it's just going to go out the window and we can't contribute to savings and things are super tight anyway.

[Dave]

So what's your household income?

[Megan]

Right now it's 156.

[Rachel]

Does he agree that he has a problem? Is he willing to get help?

[Megan]

He does agree and he says he wants to get help. But I have to say, like the come to Jesus talk happens about every two weeks.

[Dave]

So wait a minute. Okay, one more time. What's your household income?

[Megan]

156 a year.

[Dave]

And what do you make? And what does he make?

[Megan]

I'm a stay at home mom right now and so the whole salary is on his side.

[Rachel]

So if you said to him, you.

[Dave]

Use language differently than I do.

[Megan]

Okay, okay.

[Dave]

If I was to say that my wife was an addict, that would mean that our marriage was either getting ready to end or she was getting help. Next week.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Rachel]

How long?

[Dave]

But you use this like it's part of the budget.

[Megan]

Yeah, yeah, it's. It has been for several years.

[Dave]

Yeah, that's you. That's on you.

[Rachel]

Yeah, that's that. Why if you said you've had several come to Jesus moments and he's clearly not gotten the help, at the very least, have you had the conversation of, well, if you're not going to get help, I need to be in control of the money because you're gonna starve us?

[Megan]

Yeah, I Am in control of the money.

[Dave]

Then how does he get money for pot?

[Rachel]

Right. How's he getting the money for drugs and tobacco?

[Megan]

He has. He only has access to his paycheck, which goes into our joint account.

[Dave]

He has the only paycheck.

[Megan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dave]

So you're not in control of the money?

[Megan]

Well, we have a joint account that.

[Rachel]

He has, but when I say you be in control of the money, I.

[Dave]

Mean he does not have access to it.

[Rachel]

He doesn't have access to. Because he's not.

[Megan]

Well, I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying.

[Dave]

If you're going to call him an addict, you're going to have to act like it.

[Megan]

Yeah.

[Dave]

Otherwise you could just say my husband smokes some pot sometimes and he drinks sometimes, and it runs about 500 bucks a month. And I'm not okay with that. That's a different statement than opening the call with, my husband is an addict.

[Rachel]

Agree.

[Dave]

That's what I mean by language differences. Because I kind of think your husband smokes some pots sometimes, and I think he drinks sometimes, and it runs five to seven hundred bucks a month and he makes $150,000 a year. He can actually afford it. It's not really killing your household unless his behavior becomes erratic and he loses his freaking job because he's so freaking mellow from smoking dope all the time.

[Rachel]

Okay, on the spectrum from what Dave said, where is he? Where does he lie on that spectrum?

[Dave]

I mean, if you want to call him an addict, I'm okay with that. But you're gonna have to act like it then, for your sake and the kid's sake. You don't leave children in the home with an addict for years. Yeah, it's unhealthy.

[Megan]

Yeah, I get it. I get it.

[Dave]

So. Which, you know, you're either gonna have to reclassify this in your mind.

[Megan]

Or.

[Dave]

You'Re gonna have to take some more severe action than you have been willing to take so far. So. Because you're not. If. Okay, if he drinks a six pack of beer or whatever. I don't know, whatever this equates to. I don't even know what it amounts to. But anyway, and it's not affecting. He's not drunk and it's not affecting his work life, but you don't like it. That's different than an addict.

[Rachel]

Yeah, that's the question I have. Is this just like Dave said, is it a budgetary thing? Is it a thing that you think, hey, you shouldn't be spending money on this? There's better things. We could be spending money.

[Dave]

You said his behavior. What do you mean by that?

[Megan]

Yeah, I guess I didn't want to go into everything, but yeah, we're here now. Okay, I'm happy to divulge, but just trying to keep it to the point and.

[Dave]

Well, the problem is. Here's the issue. Okay. The problem in the household was presented as there's an addiction in the household. And I can't tell you what to do with the car loan until we address the problem.

[Megan]

Okay.

[Dave]

Because the problem is. You're right. But you're trying to say, oh well, not paying off the car, keeping some savings back is going to make this living with an addict. Okay? It doesn't.

[Megan]

No.

[Dave]

And paying off the car and working our plan, doing the smart things with it, getting yourself out of debt, using 156,000 to be debt free, living on a budget where you're not worried about food and that kind of stuff. Because you mentioned food and you shouldn't have a shortage of food in $156,000 household. Even if there's a $700 addiction problem, it's still. The math doesn't keep you from eating right.

[Megan]

Well, it does.

[Dave]

No, it doesn't.

[Rachel]

What are the other factors? Mathematically, it does not tell us what we're missing, Megan.

[Megan]

Okay, well, so just this past month he spent $700 on his addiction. Our mortgage is 3400.

[Dave]

Your car payment is 600.

[Megan]

Car payment is 600.

[Rachel]

What's your take? Home pay every month. Just so I know I'm doing this.

[Megan]

Math with you after all. After bills, after everything.

[Rachel]

No.

[Dave]

What is his check?

[Megan]

What check hits the bank, the check is 393. 3900 twice a month. Yeah.

[Dave]

Okay, you got way too much coming out of this check. You must be putting money in 401k.

[Megan]

Yeah, I know. He's contributing to 401k. I'm not sure what that is.

[Dave]

Yeah. Okay, you guys got serious other issues, hun. Y' all need to sit down with a good marriage counselor. And you need to come to a conclusion that this is not an addiction. It is a use or it is an addiction and the marriage needs to come to an end and the children need to be moved out of a house of an addict. It's not safe for them. But when you're making $8,000 a month take home pay and you have a $3,000 house payment, you are not out of food because he spent 750 bucks. Now you are going to be out of food if he loses his job because he stays drunk all the time, so I can't tell what the flip's going on here.

[Megan]

CHM isn't health insurance, it's a health cost sharing ministry. Check it out for [e-mail] budget.