The Ramsey Show Highlights

Episode: "We Can't Fix Him On This Call"
Date: September 30, 2025
Host(s): Dave Ramsey (A), Rachel Cruze (C)
Caller: Christina (B)

Episode Overview

This episode centers on a call from Christina, a stay-at-home mom frustrated by her husband's approach to finances and control within their marriage. The hosts, Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze, offer direct, no-nonsense advice, focusing not just on money, but the deeper relational dysfunction underlying the financial conflict. The segment explores gender roles, power dynamics, and the importance of mutual respect and partnership in marriage.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Christina’s Situation (00:06–00:46)

• Christina shares that her husband believes he should control the family finances because he “earns it,” while she, as a stay-at-home mom, is told she can't spend money like he does.
• He justifies Christina’s “luxuries” as fundamentals (electricity, water), implying she should be content.

2. Identifying Dysfunction (00:46–01:31)

• Rachel: Calls the marriage “very dysfunctional,” setting the tone for a serious intervention.
• Dave: Directly rejects Christina’s husband’s mindset, humorously but sternly referring to him as “a child” and “little twerp.”

Dave Ramsey (01:11): “So you're dealing with a child. That's the problem.”

3. Dave Ramsey’s Model of Healthy Finances in Marriage (01:33–03:22)

• Dave explains a healthy marital approach: regardless of who earns the income, marriage means shared ownership and equal say.
• Shares from his own experience where he and his wife make joint decisions, emphasizing legal, moral, and relational equality.

Dave Ramsey (01:36): “The way it should be is when you are married, regardless of where the income comes from. We have an income. We both have a vote on where every one of those dollars goes.”

• He warns that Christina’s husband’s belief won’t hold in court or in a truly functional relationship.

4. Emotional and Relational Impact (03:22–04:05)

• Rachel underscores the value of Christina’s role, expressing that staying home is “exhausting” and arguably harder than most jobs.

Rachel Cruze (03:27): “Let me tell you, Christina, it's much easier being in a workplace with a bunch of adults than being home all day. It's exhausting. It's absolutely exhausting.”

• Dave and Rachel agree Christina is not being valued or respected.

5. Call for Action—Counseling and Community (04:05–05:40)

• Dave bluntly states they “can’t fix him on this call” and urges Christina to seek marriage counseling and the support of a local, healthy church community that will hold the husband accountable.

Dave Ramsey (04:18): “You guys desperately need marriage counseling, honey. Desperately. We can't fix him on this call.”

• Addresses the importance of positive male role models and true masculinity centered on service, not control.

Dave Ramsey (04:29): “Masculinity, that's true and not toxic, is service oriented. He serves his wife, he serves his kid, and that's what he should be doing. And he's doing the opposite of that.”

6. Warning Signs and Future Consequences (05:40–08:20)

• Rachel points out this is not just about finances—controlling behaviors can spill into all areas of a marriage.
• Dave warns Christina: if things don’t change, she may reach a breaking point where there is no return for the relationship.

Dave Ramsey (06:19): “If your baby is a daughter, you're teaching her how women are supposed to be treated by accepting this treatment. Don't do that to her…And if you don't go, then I may go because I'm not going to put up with this.”

• He explains how, particularly for women, there’s often a final “switch flip” after long-term mistreatment, at which point reconciliation becomes impossible.

7. Broader Reflections on Marriage and Money (08:31–09:13)

• Rachel and Dave use Christina’s call to illustrate that money issues are usually symptoms, not root problems, in relationships.
• Deep-rooted problems like disrespect and lack of partnership manifest in financial conflicts.

Dave Ramsey (09:13): “Money problems are not the problem, they're the symptom. And that's the case here, too. There's a power struggle going on here, and you've been losing the power struggle.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dave Ramsey (01:11): "So you're dealing with a child. That's the problem."
• Dave Ramsey (01:36): "We both have a vote on where every one of those dollars goes."
• Rachel Cruze (03:27): "It's much easier being in a workplace with a bunch of adults than being home all day."
• Dave Ramsey (04:18): "We can't fix him on this call."
• Dave Ramsey (04:29): "Masculinity, that's true and not toxic, is service oriented."
• Dave Ramsey (06:19): "If your baby is a daughter, you're teaching her how women are supposed to be treated by accepting this treatment."
• Dave Ramsey (09:13): "Money problems are not the problem, they're the symptom."

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:06 — Christina outlines her issue
• 00:46 — Rachel labels the marriage “dysfunctional”
• 01:36 — Dave models healthy marital finances
• 03:27 — Rachel validates the difficulty of stay-at-home parenting
• 04:05 — Dave pushes for counseling and church involvement
• 04:29 — Masculinity as service, not control
• 05:51 — Rachel warns about controlling mindsets expanding beyond money
• 06:19 — Dave’s warning about modeling behavior for children
• 09:13 — Money as a symptom, not the root issue

Tone & Language

The hosts are blunt, direct, and compassionate, using humor (“little twerp”) but emphasizing the seriousness of control and respect in marriage. Dave’s tone is urgent; Rachel’s is affirming and understanding.

Summary Takeaway

Christina’s call highlights a marriage in deep distress, where financial disagreements are the surface-level symptom of a far greater relational imbalance. Dave and Rachel provide both affirmation for Christina’s concerns and a strong call to action: assert her right to partnership, seek marital counseling, and refuse to accept the status quo, both for her own sake and the example set for her child. Their message: healthy marriages require equality, communication, and mutual respect—regardless of who brings home the paycheck.