We Have No House, No Retirement, And $50,000 In Debt

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show Highlights

Episode: We Have No House, No Retirement, and $50,000 In Debt
Host(s): Ken Coleman, Jade Warshaw
Guest Caller: Jenny
Date: December 1, 2025

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Main Theme Overview

This episode features Jenny, a listener struggling with late-start financial goals, no retirement savings or home ownership, and $50,000 in debt. She and her husband are working multiple jobs while undergoing counseling for past trauma. The focus is on balancing urgency in financial recovery with the need for mental health support, unity in marriage, and breaking old spending habits.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Jenny’s Situation: A “Late Start” and Hidden Debt

• Ages & Financial Background: Jenny (45) and husband (51) have no retirement savings or a house.
• Debt Breakdown:
  • Total: ~$50,000
  • $30,000 in consolidation loans, credit cards, medical, and IRS debt
  • $20,000 in car loans
• Discovery: Jenny only recently learned the true extent of the debt after her husband had tried to manage it solo.
• Underlying Issues: Prior lack of transparency and “submissive” approach to finances contributed to the problem.
• Current Actions: Both are maximizing work schedules (Jenny: 3 jobs, husband: 2 jobs) and investing in counseling due to trauma.

Balancing Counseling with Financial Recovery

• Therapy Expenses:
  • $1,000 monthly for counseling (Jenny, husband, daughter)
  • Jenny emphasizes counseling is non-negotiable: "I know counseling is a huge priority for us that I don’t want to give up." (03:32)
• Jade’s Validation: Reaffirms that mental health spending is essential:
  • "You have to be a well person...walking the baby steps is not an excuse to eat ramen noodles. Like, you need to be healthy. You need to do this the right way." (04:26)

Budget Review and Allocations

• Monthly Income: $7,500 (combined)
• Major Expenses:
  • $1,900 rent
  • $1,000 counseling
  • $300 daughter’s tuition
  • Medication: $550 but mostly offset by plasma donations
• Leftover Funds: After “must-haves,” roughly $3,700 remains for debts and essentials.

Tools and Next Steps

• Budgeting Method:
  • Encouraged to use EveryDollar budgeting app.
  • Jade explains how to account for every expense and dedicate any surplus to debt snowballing.
  • "We can say at the end of every month we have $1,300, and that is going on the smallest debt every month, no matter what, like clockwork. Do you see what I’m saying?" (07:19)
• Problem Area: Previously, any surplus money was spent without a concrete plan; impulse restaurant spending is a recurring struggle for both Jenny and her husband.

Emotional Barriers & Behavioral Change

• Jenny’s Emotional State:
  • Frustration and struggle with changing lifestyle habits.
  • Restaurant dining noted as a significant “weakness.”
  • Jenny admits: “Just, you know, changing and living that new lifestyle is pretty hard.” (08:13)
• Jade and Ken’s Analysis:
  • Jade: "I think you’re scared...You’ve seen life one way and the idea of it looking different scares you." (08:28)
  • Ken: “It’s hard enough going through therapy trying to change our life, deal with the trauma...Can we reset our family? And that on its own is exhausting." (08:41)
• Recommendation: Take these budgeting and unity issues into the therapy sessions for professional guidance.

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On Changing Mindset:

  • Jenny: “I just felt like I was supposed to be the submissive wife and not really involved in the money. And I had like, the wrong mindset. And now that I do, we’re trying to do it right, but it’s really hard to break the habit." (01:56)

• On Balancing Priorities:

  • Jade: "You have to be a well person...That’s like me telling you that walking the baby steps is not an excuse to eat ramen noodles." (04:26)

• On Financial Fear and Exhaustion:

  • Ken: "It’s hard enough going through therapy trying to change our life...And that on its own is exhausting." (08:41)

• On Creating a Plan:

  • Jade: "We can say at the end of every month we have $1,300, and that is going on the smallest debt every month, no matter what, like clockwork. Do you see what I’m saying?" (07:19)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:08] – Jenny explains late financial start and current struggles
• [01:00] – Breakdown and composition of debts
• [01:56] – Discussion of mindset and marital roles
• [03:06] – Jade probes priorities: therapy vs. financial recovery
• [03:45] – Counseling cost and its place in the budget
• [06:43] – Using EveryDollar app for budgeting
• [07:19] – Jade’s debt repayment strategy explained
• [08:13] – Emotional barriers to changing spending habits
• [09:06] – Ken’s advice on integrating money issues into therapy

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Closing Guidance

• Prioritize healing and unity: Both Ken and Jade stress the importance of staying committed to counseling and bringing budgeting issues into therapy; transformation requires addressing emotional roots, not just dollars and cents.
• Systematize the plan: Move from “whatever is left over” to a fixed, intentional debt repayment number each month.
• Embrace behavioral change: Recognize that breaking spending cycles is not just logistical, but deeply emotional.
• Use available tools: Harness EveryDollar to visualize and enforce accountability, making expenses and progress clear for both partners.

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This episode provides an empathetic yet practical look at overcoming late financial starts through unity, intentional planning, and the crucial balance of mental health and money management.

Transcript

[Ken]

Zander shops all the top term insurance companies to save you money. Get [e-mail].

[Jenny]

My husband and I are getting a late start. We don't have any retirement. We don't have a house. I'm 45, he's 51. We have debt. We want to know, like, what we can do to catch up. He's not as gung ho as I am, but he's getting there. He kind of kept the debt from me. And we're trying to live correct right now in every area possible. We have counseling we're paying for because of trauma we've been through. I'm working three jobs. He's working too. So it's just kind of a lot right now.

[Ken]

Okay, so it sounds like we're getting very busy. Sounds like you guys are trying to make more money and come after this, correct?

[Jenny]

Yes, we've been trying for the last few months. He kind of was doing it on his own. And when I kind of found out more about it, he, like, we got kind of more aggressive about it.

[Ken]

What was the debt? What was the debt that he kept from you?

[Jenny]

We have about like 30,000 debt, plus the cars, so 50. And I knew we had like, a little bit, but I never knew how much. He just always told me he was taking care of it and.

[Ken]

Yes, but what I'm asking, what was the debt? Obviously the cars you probably knew about, but what was the other debt that you didn't know anything about?

[Jenny]

We have a debt consolidation loan, and there was some credit cards. My insurance isn't good, so we've had some medical debt. We have IRS that we have to pay.

[Ken]

So it wasn't. I'm just trying to get a read on this. It wasn't what we call financial infidelity, where he was hiding all kinds of expenditures. You just weren't paying attention, and you guys kind of got behind the eight ball and then he tried to consolidate. I'm just trying to get an understanding of when you say I didn't know about it. Where are you guys emotionally on this deal? Where does it stand?

[Jenny]

Yeah, it wasn't like he was out spending stuff, per se, but like a lot of restaurants and stores and nothing like major, but things like that. And I just felt like I was supposed to be the submissive wife and not really involved in the money. And I had like, the wrong mindset. And now that I do, we're trying to do it right, but it's really hard to break the habit, like, got it, you know, to not go to restaurants. And things like that.

[Ken]

Okay. And so one other question here, and. Because Jade's going to jump in, but I'm just kind of gathering some facts.

[Jenny]

Sure.

[Ken]

So you guys have tried. He's tried on his own now. He makes you aware of it. Now you're going, okay, gosh, we don't like the way this feels. We're going after this. But you started the call by saying, I'm ready to go all in. I'm calling the Ramsey show today. He's sort of kind of not there. What, is he not on board that'll help us? Where? Is he not on board with where you are?

[Jenny]

I mean, he is mostly, but, like, I'm trying to live for the Lord. I mean, we're both trying to live for the Lord in every way possible. And just money is kind of not his focus right now. He's trying to get, like, healed in other ways.

[Jade]

Got it. Is this a priority right now? Let me. You're kind of talking a little bit in riddles, and I think it's because you're. You're trying to protect in, like, delicate information, it seems like. But I want to ask you, is money the most important thing you need to be like, is. Is walking the baby steps the most important thing you need to be worried about right now, or are there other fires that are more important that need to be put out?

[Jenny]

I mean, I guess I kind of want to do both. Like, we're trying to get our money right, but we're trying to get everything else right in our life at the same time. And, like, I know counseling is a huge priority for us that I don't want to give up.

[Jade]

Right.

[Ken]

All right, so how much are we spending on that a month?

[Jenny]

Like, a thousand dollars for me and my husband and my daughter.

[Jade]

Okay, good, Great.

[Ken]

But that gives us something to work with. So we've got $1,000 a month, Jade, that we want to protect at all costs. And I love it.

[Jade]

Keep it on there. Keep it on there.

[Ken]

Okay?

[Jade]

I asked that question because money is important. Like, Ken, you already know. It touches everything, Jenny. And you can see this. It touches your relationships, your job, your spirituality, all of it. Right? It's all encompassing. That being said, sometimes in an attempt to not focus on other things, we focus on the baby steps. Being intense about that. This is the thing I'm going to focus on when really your marriage is falling apart. Right. And so what I don't want you to do is focus on the wrong thing. If what you're telling me is, Jade, we want to do it, we just. I just simply want to know, is it okay for me to keep a thousand dollars aside for counseling? Yeah. The answer is yes. You have to be a well person. That's like me telling you that walking the baby steps is not an excuse to eat ramen noodles. Like, you need to be healthy. You need to do this the right way. So I don't know why you had.

[Ken]

To single out ramen noodles, but we'll talk about that later.

[Jade]

Sodium alone, Ken.

[Ken]

So, yeah, let's walk through the numbers.

[Jade]

A thousand dollars on counseling. I'm fine with that. Tell me what you guys bring in a month. Um, and then we can talk about what's going to feel realistic for you in this season when you're so heavily getting the mental help that you guys all need.

[Jenny]

Thank you. We bring in about 7, 500amonth.

[Jade]

Okay, 7500amonth. How much of that is rent?

[Jenny]

1900.

[Jade]

Okay, great. Okay, so biggest expenses, 1900 on rent, thousand dollars on counseling, any daycare or anything like that. I need to know about, like high dollars.

[Jenny]

Yeah, my daughter's tuition is $300. I'm on a medicine that's $550, but I donate plasma, so I mainly pay for that out of that money.

[Jade]

Okay. So that's kind of a wash on the, on the, on the 550. Okay. So I'm looking at this and I'm going, okay, I'm seeing, I'm seeing $3200 that's going away and must haves. What's happening to the other 37.

[Jenny]

Paying off debt, groceries, you know, just different bills like that. I feel like.

[Jade]

And when you put all that in your budget, how much, how much are you putting extra on the debt? Not minimum payments, but above and beyond a minimum payment. How much are you putting extra?

[Jenny]

I mean, we're trying to, but we don't have like a set number. It's just kind of like whatever we have left over we do.

[Jade]

Okay, so that's what we'll fix. That's what we'll fix today. Because if you guys are on fixed, you know, you get basically paid the same amount every two weeks or every month, whatever, what have you. Then this should be like clockwork. So what I need is for you guys to get on an every dollar budget. And if you don't have one, do you have one?

[Jenny]

Yeah, I do have every dollar.

[Jade]

Okay, so when you open up every dollar, it should be really cut and dry for you, Jenny, to be able to see. Okay, we make 7, 500, 1900 goes to run a thousand to counseling, 300 school. Because of my plasma, we only pay a hundred dollars for the medication. Right. All. All of that's in the budget. And then it's going to show you after all the things that must be done. Gas, groceries, insurance. There's going to be a number up there. In your case. It should be in the green of extra money. That is now. Okay, what do we want to do with this money? And here's the thing, Jenny. The choices are we can put this extra money towards door dash. We can put this extra money towards a vacation that we want to go on. We can put this extra money towards a slush fund that just gets eaten away with by going to the gas station and gets eaten away with by running to Sonic. Right. Or we can say at the end of every month we have $1300 and that is going on the smallest debt every month, no matter what, like clockwork. Do you see what I'm saying?

[Jenny]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And that's. I think that's what you were talking to Ken about earlier, about the kind of we just need to start doing it part. Right.

[Jenny]

And that's what I'm trying to do. It's just, you know, getting there, I guess, is hard.

[Jade]

And you tell me, tell me, tell me the emotional, the emotion that you feel when you know the money is there but you do something else. Is it. I work really hard. I. I just deserve this. Is it. I'm just so tired. Is it. I'm frustrated. Tell me what you're feeling that's causing you not to do the thing.

[Jenny]

I guess frustrated. I know restaurants is really like our weakness. And like we say we're not gonna go and then we go and just, you know, changing and living that new lifestyle is pretty hard. And I think it's getting to that point.

[Jade]

I want to know. I think it is just listening to you. I think you're scared. I think you're afraid. I think you've seen life one way and the idea of it looking different scares you.

[Ken]

Well, I agree with that. And I. I also would say that now, hearing what we know, I think it's hard enough going through therapy trying to change our life, deal with the trauma, whatever hurt is attached to all this. Can we reset our family? And that on its own is exhausting.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Ken]

And I think it's hard to go, come on, babe. You need to join me on this debt free journey too.

[Jade]

You're right, Ken.

[Ken]

So I do think it is fear of the confrontation and how exhausting that is. But I do think that I would take this to the therapist and go, hey, did a phone call. We're trying to do this money thing. Can you coach us in this therapy about how important is that we get on the same page there? I would take it to the professional help. Love that you're spending a thousand dollars a month.

[Jade]

Yep.

[Ken]

But you guys have got to lean in on every issue. Take, take that and use that thousand dollars and it's going to benefit Zander. Is the best place to find term life insurance to protect your family. Visit Zander.com for quotes today.