We Make $700,000 and My Husband Says We Can't Afford A New Car

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show Highlights Episode: We Make $700,000 and My Husband Says We Can't Afford A New Car
Release Date: May 19, 2025
Host/Author: Ramsey Network

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Introduction to Kayla's Dilemma

In this episode, Kayla from Montana reaches out with a financial conundrum that pits her desire for a new vehicle against her husband's adherence to financial principles inspired by Dave Ramsey. Kayla and her husband, both 35 years old, boast a substantial combined income of $700,000 annually. Their financial landscape includes a $600,000 mortgage on their primary residence and a $65,000 mortgage on a rental property, bringing their total net worth to nearly $1 million. With two young daughters and plans to expand their family, Kayla is eager to purchase a new mid-sized SUV within the year. Conversely, her husband advocates for buying a used full-size SUV with the intention of keeping it for at least seven years.

Analyzing the Financial Situation

Speaker A begins by clarifying the core issue: the disagreement isn't solely about the car's cost or the husband's application of Ramsey's rules. Instead, the primary concern lies in the couple's inability to communicate and collaborate effectively on financial decisions.

"[00:09] B: Ramsey Today's question comes from Kayla in Montana... I want to save up and buy a new mid sized SUV this year. My husband wants to purchase a, a used full size SUV and keep it for a minimum of seven years."
(Kayla, 00:09)

Speaker A emphasizes that true financial harmony, as advocated by Ramsey, involves both partners actively participating in decision-making rather than one partner unilaterally making choices.

"[01:02] B: Oh, buy new. I hear, I hear."
(Speaker A, 01:02)

Speaker A criticizes the dynamics presented in Kayla's situation, suggesting that her husband isn't genuinely following Ramsey's principles. Instead, he points out that the husband's approach resembles a paternalistic attitude rather than a collaborative partnership.

"[01:15] A: ...you should be like a grown up person, not a child wanting something from her daddy and be one of the two votes on where this freaking $700,000 goes. That is what we teach."
(Speaker A, 01:15)

Marital Dynamics and Financial Alignment

The discussion delves deeper into the underlying marital issues that Kayla's question reveals. Speaker A underscores the importance of both partners having an equal say in financial matters, highlighting that their current dynamic—where the husband dictates financial decisions and the wife feels sidelined—is counterproductive.

"[03:05] B: Okay, so what if... [03:07] A: So she needs to be involved in the discussion."
(Speaker A & B, 03:05-03:07)

Speaker A advises Kayla and her husband to revisit their financial goals together, ensuring that both parties are aligned and working towards a common objective. He advocates for purchasing used vehicles to minimize depreciation losses, regardless of their high income.

"[03:16] B: And she's like, listen, we have plenty of money, we can do this. [03:18] A: Our net worth, we teach is... we don't buy a brand new vehicle because they go down in value..."
(Speaker A & B, 03:16-03:18)

The conversation further explores the notion that high income does not automatically equate to financial wisdom. Speaker A emphasizes that mismanagement and poor financial decisions can lead to significant issues, regardless of how much one earns.

"[07:30] B: The dictator in the home. [07:31] A: Yeah, yeah. And that we don't. This model right here of relationship does not..."
(Speaker A & B, 07:30-07:31)

Speaker A also touches upon the broader implications of financial disagreements on marital health. He suggests that such conflicts may reflect deeper issues within the relationship, hinting at the importance of addressing these underlying problems to achieve financial and personal harmony.

"[08:23] A: But, and I don't want that... We're both gon sit down. We're both going to say..."
(Speaker A, 08:23)

Key Insights and Conclusions

The episode concludes with a strong admonition against using financial doctrines or external authorities as tools for manipulation within a marriage. Speaker A passionately asserts that financial discussions should be rooted in mutual respect, logical agreement, and collaborative goal-setting rather than leveraging the names or rules of financial gurus as weapons.

"[08:23] A: ...instead of actually manning up and walking through the concept and getting agreement based on logic, instead you blame it on somebody off in the podcast land. And that's complete cowardice..."
(Speaker A, 08:23)

Speaker B echoes the sentiment by highlighting how money can act as a mirror, reflecting both the strengths and weaknesses of an individual's character and the health of their marriage.

"[07:46] B: Money is such a reflection, though. It's kind of what we're talking about with Lewis in the last segment..."
(Speaker B, 07:46)

In summary, the episode emphasizes the critical importance of communication, collaboration, and mutual respect in managing finances within a marriage. It underscores that even with a high income, without aligned financial goals and a healthy partnership, couples may face significant challenges. The Ramsey Show advocates for a balanced approach to financial decisions, where both partners have an equal voice and work together towards shared objectives.

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Notable Quotes:

• "You should be like a grown up person, not a child wanting something from her daddy and be one of the two votes on where this freaking $700,000 goes."
  — Speaker A (01:15)

• "We don't buy a brand new vehicle because they go down in value regardless of your income until you have a million dollar net worth."
  — Speaker A (03:18)

• "You cannot out earn your stupidity."
  — Speaker A (07:46)

• "Money is such a reflection... It's a reflection so much of who you are in your character and the health of you."
  — Speaker B (07:46)

• "Instead of actually manning up and walking through the concept and getting agreement based on logic, instead you blame it on somebody off in the podcast land. And that's complete cowardice."
  — Speaker A (08:23)

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This episode serves as a poignant reminder that financial success is intricately linked to the health of personal relationships and effective communication. It encourages couples to engage in open dialogues about their financial goals and to make decisions collaboratively, ensuring that both partners are on the same path toward achieving their shared vision of prosperity and stability.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Ramsey Today's question comes from Kayla in Montana. I want a new car. My husband lives and breathes by Dave's rules and he thinks we can't afford one. We're both 35 years old and together bring home $700,000. Our only debt we have is our $600,000 mortgage on our home and a $65,000 rental home. Our net worth is close to $1 million. We have two young daughters and plan to add to our family soon. So I want to save up and buy a new mid sized SUV this year. My husband wants to purchase a, a used full size SUV and keep it for a minimum of seven years. Which one of us is correct? I don't understand the. My husband wants to purchase a, use it and keep it for a minimum of seven years. Do you get it?

[A]

She wants to buy a brand new car.

[B]

Oh, buy new. I hear, I hear.

[A]

Yeah. And he wants to buy a used one and keep it.

[B]

Okay, I, Okay, I see, I see.

[A]

Yeah. So the problem here, Kayla, is not the car. And the problem here is not your husband following the Ramsey rules because your husband's not following them. The Ramsey rules include working with your spouse and being on the same page with your spouse. And you, Kayla, have nothing to do with anything here. You just stand back and ask for stuff and he decides if he's going to give it or not. That is not a Ramsey rule. Instead, you should be like a grown up person, not a child wanting something from her daddy and be one of the two votes on where this freaking $700,000 goes. That is what we teach. We don't teach what your husband is doing nor what you are doing. And so, so you guys got to get talking about, okay, here's the future I want and here's the steps it's going to take to get to the future.

[B]

Yeah, and how do we get there?

[A]

How does a car purchase fit in that future? But you sound like a 16 year old having a hissy fit because your daddy won't buy you a car. And that's just ridiculous. That's not the position you should be in as the wife.

[B]

No, but she may feel on the other end of the coin frustrated if they're making sense.

[A]

There's a serious amount of pouting in this email.

[B]

No, but if they make, if they make $700,000 a year, they make plenty of money. That's what I'm saying.

[A]

But she Doesn't.

[B]

She's like, hey, can we spend 50 grand on an SUV? And he's like, nope, nope, nope, nope.

[A]

And she's like, well they're not, but they're, they're not. This is again, this is like daddy, we got the money and daddy saying no, we don't have the money. I follow Dave. Well, you don't follow Dave because you don't treat your wife like a 16 year old child. Yeah, your wife is a full grown woman and stuff.

[B]

Okay, so what if.

[A]

So she needs to be involved in the discussion. So if they're both, the thing is positioned wrong.

[B]

Okay, that's the first.

[A]

Okay, that's my point.

[B]

Okay, so what if they're both adults.

[A]

And they're both talking about it.

[B]

And she's like, listen, we have plenty of money, we can do this.

[A]

Our net worth, we teach is. And what I lived with my wife who had a vote and I had a vote. What you have lived with your husband who had a vote and you had a vote was that we don't buy a brand new vehicle because they go down in value regardless of your income until you have a million dollar net worth. And you, darling, don't have a million dollar net worth. And so no, I would not buy a house. I would buy a two year old suv.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And I don't think you have to keep it seven years. I don't care how long you keep it. But you buy used cars and let someone else take the butt kicking on the depreciation. You don't spend money on things that go down in value like a rock while you're trying to get out of debt and build wealth even if you have a $700,000 income because they do.

[B]

Have a $600,000 mortgage. Right. So I'm like, there's like there's something wrong.

[A]

Where the heck is all this money going?

[B]

Right, Right.

[A]

I mean, my gosh, you ought to be able to write a check by that SUV and not even have this discussion.

[B]

Pay off the rental house.

[A]

Pay off the rental house and get your house paid off and live on a hundred thousand one year. What the flip are you people doing? I mean there's money going out here. Like you guys are in Congress, so. Yeah, and, and you know, but the immaturity in this is just dripping.

[B]

Yeah, that's fair.

[A]

The positioning of it is wrong. So you guys need to be like, we're both gon sit down. We're both going to say, okay, this is the principles we're going to use in our House. And based on those principles, we are going to make these decisions together. And that's not him dictating that to you or you dictating it to him. This is. We're going to decide where we're going. And if you want to follow the Ramsey rules, it would be ram. I don't know that Ramsey has rules. If you want to follow the processes that we teach that have caused people to build wealth, it is two grown ups working together toward an agreed goal and the shortest possible distance between here and that goal. Two grownups. Now, they'll come at it from different angles. We can have discussions based on our different personality styles or different histories. We can have all kinds of discussions here. But it's never I want a car in Dave Ramsey. My husband's a Dave Ramsey nut and he won't buy me a car. And that's exactly the way this sounds.

[B]

I think you're offended that she.

[A]

No, I mean, it's just.

[B]

I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

[A]

I'm not offended at all.

[B]

I know the. But you're right. I. And I think the frustration comes from when we've talked to so many married couples, the positioning. Well, that and it, it reveals the state of the marriage and probably how it is and where. And you care more about their marriage in that sense. You as people need to become healthier. And these decisions coming out of that become way more peaceful and, you know, more mature.

[A]

If you want me get really tacky, I could start guessing how he makes 700 a year that causes him to be the daddy.

[B]

What?

[A]

I could do that and I probably would be right. But I won't. That's tacky. So I think I know what he does for a living and that he's. He's in an industry where he's God. And he's used to being in charge. Oh, and he makes a ton of money and he's used to telling people what to do all day long. And his wife is on the list of people he tells what to do. And so she's adopted the position of kid rather than wife. And that's where the 7. Assuming he makes all the 700k, I got a feeling she doesn't make hardly any of the 700k or she'd be raising up even heavier.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

[A]

If she made the 700k, we might not have got the email. So that in the way this thing's positioned and that. So this is the dynamic we're talking about. Why are we covering this? And why are we making poking such holes in it is because in all the millionaires we've studied, the data is very clear and 80 plus percent of them have a solid marriage relationship where the two of them are both aligned on the goals and the process to get there. Not, you know, and have equal. The guy's not like, well, my wife won't give me any money, I work all day. But she. And she treats him like he's 15 years old. He brings a check home and gives it to mama and mama don't take care of him. And you know, we don't hear that from the millionaires or the, or the other or the vice versa. Which is this one. Yeah.

[B]

The dictator in the home.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And that we don't. This model right here of relationship does not. The data does not bode well for this model. It says you're not going to do well. I don't even care if you make 600k. You cannot out earn your stupidity. I've tried it so well.

[B]

Yeah. Money is such a reflection, though. It's kind of what we're talking about with Lewis in the last segment. It's a reflection so much of who you are in your character and the health of you. Right. And money either magnifies those healthy versions of you or it magnifies the unhealthy broken sides which we all have. Both, including the marriage. So him bringing in or them. She says we bring home together 700,000. So I don't know who brings it home, but the idea that you're making a lot of money is magnifying through a car purchase some of those dysfunctional parts of the marriage. And, and, and, you know, looking at that and becoming healthier in that fixes some of this.

[A]

But, and I don't want that. I guess maybe I did rise up on this. I'm thinking about it emotionally. I don't want any of you using our name or the stuff we teach as a weapon in your house. And that's what's going on here. He lives and breathes by Dave's rules and thinks we can't afford one, so he's using like bad guying off of us. Well, Dave says you can't do that. Right. Instead of actually manning up and walking through the concept and getting agreement based on logic, instead you blame it on somebody off in the podcast land. And that's complete cowardice, you know? So, yeah, quit using my name as a weapon. Pisses me off. This is the Ramsey Show.

[B]

I knew that was in there.

[A]

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