Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show Highlights
Episode: "You Don't Have The Money To Do This"
Date: December 27, 2025
Featured Hosts: Dave Ramsey, Financial Coach (unidentified), Jenny (caller)
Overview
This episode features Dave Ramsey taking a call from Jenny, a single mom struggling under the financial weight of a divorce, mounting debt, and the pressures of providing for her two daughters—especially as they consider college. The conversation revolves around making tough but necessary financial decisions, combating parental guilt, and prioritizing long-term stability over short-term comfort or keeping up appearances.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
Jenny's Financial Situation
- Jenny’s debts:
- ~$75,000 in legal fees (due to prolonged divorce litigation)
- ~$12,000 in credit card debt
- ~$28,000 remaining on two car loans
- Income: ~$86,000/year
- Housing: $2,300/month rent in Savannah, GA
- Supporting two daughters in private high school via scholarships
- No child support from ex-husband (an attorney living in Chicago)
- Opportunity: Her elderly father (age 90) offers for the family to move in to help financially
The Move: Should Jenny Move In With Her Father?
- Jenny struggles with whether to move now, potentially disrupting her daughters’ routines and commute (30 minutes further from school), or wait one more year until her youngest graduates.
- Dave and the team push her towards moving sooner to address her immediate financial strain.
Notable Quote:
“Whether you move now, when do you want to start making progress?”
– Dave Ramsey (04:20)
College Choices: Can She Afford Northwestern?
- Jenny’s oldest daughter wants to attend Northwestern University (out-of-state, expensive) but has also been accepted to the University of Georgia with significant scholarships (Zell Miller and HOPE, covering most costs).
- Dave is emphatic: They cannot afford Northwestern. If Jenny’s ex won’t pay, it simply isn’t an option.
Notable Quotes:
“No, we’re not going to Northwestern. You don’t have the money to send a kid to Northwestern.”
– Dave Ramsey (02:46)
“I’m a broke single mom. If your freaking father wants to pay for this, we’ll talk about it. But he ain’t paying for nothing.”
– Dave Ramsey (02:55)
“This is your destruction. No, this is stupid.”
– Dave Ramsey (addressing student loans for out-of-reach colleges) (04:02)
Parental Guilt and Financial Discipline
- The conversation turns to the emotional difficulty Jenny feels saying ‘no’ to her daughters, both in car purchases (ending up with expensive loans) and with college choices.
- Dave and the coach underscore the dangers of letting guilt and emotions dictate major financial decisions.
Notable Quote:
“It scares me that you did a bad car deal for your daughter. That you’re going to do a bad college deal for your daughter. Please. Remember the car deal when you couldn’t look at her and say no. This time you’ve got to say no.”
– Dave Ramsey (05:38)
The Value of In-State Education
- Dave and the coach praise the University of Georgia and Georgia Tech as excellent, affordable choices.
- They stress that attending “fancy” or out-of-state institutions with enormous debt leads to long-term regret.
Notable Quote:
“I would hire her to work at Ramsey in a heartbeat, more graduating from there debt free than graduating from Northwestern with $200,000 [debt], because she’s stupid. I don’t want to hire that.”
– Dave Ramsey (06:17)
On Making Tough Calls and Building Resilience
- Dave empathizes but encourages Jenny not to feel guilty for forcing her kids into perfectly adequate options, even if less glamorous, and to put her financial stability first.
- The coach and Dave both argue that temporary “pain” or inconvenience is often necessary for long-term benefit.
Notable Quotes:
“I’m sorry that these children have hard times, that they have to go to an in-state school and drive 30 minutes to school. But their mother is a single mom who’s deeply in debt because of a nasty divorce and such is life.”
– Dave Ramsey (07:16)
“Don’t let a level of mom guilt of what they’ve gone through with the divorce continue. What you think in the moment is a good decision for them because it makes them happy ends up being a bad decision long term for them. And so. And for you.”
– Financial Coach (07:48)
Memorable Moments & Quotes
-
Dave’s Tough Love:
“No, she’s not going to some Northwestern. She can’t afford it. Yeah, her mother’s broke.” (03:44) -
Driving Distance Perspective:
“You drive that far to work, they can drive that far to school. Wah.”
– Dave Ramsey (08:26) -
Empowering Words:
“You’re going to have to do some smart things for your family, honey. Even if it’s short term, it creates a little drama or pain. I love you. I appreciate you. You’re stronger than you think you are. Hold the ground, girl.”
– Dave Ramsey (08:26)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 00:10 Jenny outlines her income, debts, and post-divorce struggles
- 01:38 Discussion of high rent and lack of financial margin
- 02:46 Dave’s stance on college affordability: “No Northwestern”
- 05:36 Dave on car loans and cautionary tales on “bad deals”
- 06:10 Praise for the value of in-state universities
- 07:16 Empathy for Jenny’s situation, but tough advice
- 07:48 Financial coach addresses the dangers of parental guilt
- 08:26 Dave’s closing encouragement and firmness
Summary & Takeaways
- Stand Your Ground: Jenny must prioritize financial security, even if it means disappointing her daughters or being the 'bad guy' in the moment.
- Say No to Debt: Choosing unaffordable options (like expensive colleges or car loans) in the name of pleasing children will only create more hardship.
- Emotional Traps: Guilt from divorce or tough situations can lead to poor financial decisions—resist the urge to overcompensate.
- Practical Solutions: Accepting help from family and choosing pragmatic options (like moving in with her father and in-state colleges) are not failures, but smart moves toward regaining control.
For listeners:
This episode is an eye-opening look at how emotional pressure and parental guilt can steer us into financially destructive territory. Through Jenny’s candid story, Dave reminds us that sometimes the most loving answer is a firm “no,” especially when it comes to debt and unrealistic expectations. It’s a must-listen for anyone navigating tough financial and family waters.
