"Your Husband Is A Wimp"

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show Highlights

Episode Title: "Your Husband Is A Wimp"
Date: October 14, 2025
Host: Ramsey Network (Dave Ramsey and Co-host)
Duration: ~9 Minutes

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Overview

This episode tackles a practical and often tension-filled family situation: how to gracefully ask a family member—in this case, the caller’s mother-in-law—to move out after a lengthy and open-ended stay. With their characteristically blunt, humorous, and practical style, the hosts advise the caller but ultimately challenge the husband’s failure to set boundaries, highlighting broader lessons about family dynamics, communication, and responsibility.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Caller’s Situation: Mother-in-law Overstaying Her Welcome

• [00:06–01:21]
  • The caller explains her mother-in-law has been living in a camper in their backyard for three years.
  • The background: After moving states themselves and briefly living in a camper on the caller's mother’s property, the couple expected a similar temporary arrangement when the mother-in-law followed them down.
  • However, there was no explicit agreement or set timeline, which has led to the current impasse.

2. The Real Issue: The Husband's Avoidance

• [01:52–02:18]
  • The hosts quickly identify the problem isn’t just the mother-in-law’s lingering presence, but the husband’s unwillingness to set boundaries.
  • Notable Quote:
    • “Well, it's not with her, it's with your husband.” — Dave Ramsey [01:52]
    • “He's the problem, not her. She's the symptom.” — Dave Ramsey [01:59]

3. Attempts at Resolution and Escalating Frustration

• [02:44–03:28]
  • The caller admits to previously losing her temper at her mother-in-law, which only made things worse and did not resolve the situation.
  • The hosts joke about the “pissy spectrum,” suggesting the caller is too emotionally invested to handle the conversation herself.

4. Lack of Financial Independence for the Mother-in-law

• [03:35–04:12]
  • The mother-in-law is 63, works part-time cleaning houses (roughly 20 hours a week), and has little to no money saved.
  • The caller doubts whether her mother-in-law could live independently due to her financial situation.

5. The Solution: Husband Must Take Responsibility

• [04:21–06:33]
  • The hosts firmly state that the only viable solution is for the husband to talk to his mother alone, set a moving-out timeline, and offer practical help (such as helping her budget or sell the camper).
  • Notable Quote:
    • “There is nothing you can say or do that's going to work. The only thing that's going to work if you want her to move is for him to have a conversation that says Mom, I'm going to help you get a place and by Christmas, you're moving.” — Dave Ramsey [04:40–05:12]

6. The Ineffectiveness of the Caller’s Efforts

• [06:33–07:57]
  • All the suggestions, lists, and offers from the caller are dismissed or rebuffed by the mother-in-law.
  • Dave emphasizes the futility of the caller’s further involvement.
  • Notable Quote:
    • “You are the Wicked Witch of the West in her eyes. She does not want anything to do with any suggestion that comes out of your mouth. You need to quit. Stop. You need to stop doing this. You're no help. You're a problem, not a help.” — Dave Ramsey [07:07]

7. Final Takeaways on Family Dynamics

• [08:03–08:47]
  • The hosts reiterate that it’s always best for the blood relative to handle difficult in-law situations, not the spouse by marriage.
  • Notable Quotes:
    • “The only way you're gonna fix this is install a backbone in your husband so baby boy deals with his mommy.” — Dave Ramsey [08:08]
    • “You’re a couple cocktails away from a Jerry Springer episode, and, you know, none of us are above it. But I think you were on your last nerve. And I get it.” — Co-host [08:29]

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Memorable Moments & Quotes

• "Cousin Eddie's in the backyard and it's your mother-in-law. Wow."
  — Dave Ramsey [00:20], referencing a famous movie character to highlight the oddness of the situation.
• "You cannot fix his... She ain't listening to you. She hadn't listened to you in a decade. I can promise you she's had it with you like you've had it with her."
  — Dave Ramsey [07:41]
• "Let the blood relative of the in-laws do the fixing. And you stand back with suggestions way in the distance. And don't let them even think the suggestion came from you. That's always a good idea."
  — Dave Ramsey [08:47]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:06: Caller presents her dilemma with the mother-in-law living in the backyard.
• 01:52: Hosts identify the husband's lack of action as the core issue.
• 03:01: Caller reflects on a failed attempt to resolve the issue by arguing.
• 04:40: Hosts lay out the practical solution and timeline.
• 05:53: Caller’s idea of charging rent is shot down.
• 07:07: Dave emphasizes stepping back and letting the husband handle it.
• 08:08: Hosts reflect on the importance of family roles in resolving conflict.
• 08:47: Final takeaways on boundaries and in-law problems.

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Tone & Style

The episode is blunt, humorous, and direct, with the hosts using sarcasm and wit to address a tense family situation. Their empathy is evident, but tough love is the preferred prescription, with an emphasis on clear roles and honest communication.

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Key Takeaway for Listeners

When dealing with in-law issues—especially those involving boundaries and shared households—the family member directly related to the person must take responsibility for hard conversations. Trying to circumvent this will only lead to resentment and futility. Setting timelines and having honest, direct conversations are essential, and for the aggrieved spouse: step back and let your partner lead with their own family.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

I am trying to find the way with as much grace and kindness and love as possible to get my mother in law on her feet and out of the camper in our backyard.

[A]

Cousin Eddie's in the backyard and it's your mother in law. Wow. How long has she been there? Yeah, three years in a van down by the river. Oh, my gosh. Wow. So how did this. How did this come about?

[B]

Well, we moved here from North Dakota in 21. We did the same thing. Spent three months in a camper on my mom's property. But we're on top of employment and housing right away and we're in a home in three months. We purchased our first home when we got five kids that we did it with too, by the way.

[A]

So wait a minute. You spent time on her property?

[B]

No, my mom.

[A]

Oh, your mom. Okay.

[B]

My mom. Yeah.

[A]

And a camper and yes, with five kids and yes.

[B]

But we're at my mom's place. She had them in the house half the time. They've got 20 acres, plenty of room to run around, play in the pond.

[A]

And so you were there for how long?

[B]

Three months.

[A]

Okay. And then you bought a place of your own. And how did your mother in law end up on your place?

[B]

So she waited to follow us down because it was a single mom, only child situation with my husband and her. And she was about a year and a half after that, she was like, oh, I think I'll do that. Sounds like a good idea. It worked really well for you. She came down, was in the camper, here she is. And I don't know how to broach the conversation at this point.

[A]

Well, it's not with her, it's with your husband.

[B]

Yeah, I've. I've had that with him as well. And he had. He struggles there.

[A]

He's the problem, not her. She's the symptom.

[B]

You know, he has a hard time telling his mom, hey, I love you, but it's time to. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Shocking.

[B]

There's been some.

[A]

So basically, this lady didn't really even ask permission to move on the property. She just kind of told y' all she was doing it?

[B]

No, no, no. It was a conversation. But we expected her to be quicker about it and do similar to what we did.

[A]

Did you have an agreement that she would be quicker about it now?

[B]

I mean, to be completely fair on our end of things, no.

[A]

Y' all just said, okay, you want to come down, put the camper back There. That's okay. And that was the whole discussion.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And no one's ever corrected her, so she actually. She actually doesn't think she's doing anything wrong.

[B]

I mean, I, I have. I lost my mind on her once. I said some not so nice things, so I'm trying to go about it more politely this time.

[C]

How long ago was that?

[B]

A year and a half. Oh, no, no, no, wait. No, that wasn't a year and a half. I did that. No, it was a year and a half.

[C]

And your husband couldn't have been thrilled with that either.

[B]

Yeah, no, because he was there when I started it. He walked away and put his hands up.

[C]

So now you're a year and a half removed from. You lost your mind on her. Number one, she didn't move. Number two, your husband didn't force the issue. And number three, you're more pissy now than you were then.

[B]

Actually, I'm less pissy.

[A]

Wow. Wow.

[C]

I would. That's fast.

[A]

Heavy on the pissy category, but yeah.

[C]

All right.

[A]

So the. On the. On the pissy spectrum, but the. How old is she?

[B]

63.

[A]

Oh, and she has no money.

[B]

Yeah. Nope.

[A]

Okay. So what makes you think she can move and into it. Why do you think she can move into a sustainable situation when she has no money?

[B]

She's working kind of, I think. I mean, I know she works part time cleaning houses. And that's. That's part of my issue is. So I work in a middle school, I'm a paraprofessional, and over the summer I'm home all summer and I was kind of tracking like, how often are you leaving? What are you doing? And she's got cleaning jobs that she does, but it's not very much. I think max, 20 hours a week.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I don't know how to broach with like. I don't know how to say it lovingly because I don't want you to be gone.

[A]

You're on the. You're way up on the pissy spectrum. So you can't say anything.

[B]

Loving the problem.

[A]

Yes, you are. There's nothing loving gonna come out of your mouth. So you. And besides that, it's not your job. It's your wimpy husband's job.

[C]

See, you enjoyed that too.

[A]

You can't do it because it won't work if you do it. There is nothing you can say or do that's going to work. The only thing that's going to work if you want her to move is for him to have a conversation that says Mom, I'm going to help you get a place and you're going to have to get your hours up. And by the time Christmas gets here, you're going to be hanging your stockings in another place or whatever it is. I don't care what the date is, but he needs to sit down with his mom. He needs to have a conversation. We were not planning to do this forever and we need to look at a timeline where I'll help you get things going and let's figure out an apartment and let's get the camper sold or let's find you a little piece of ground and let's get your hours up so you have a sustainable life. She's not asking you all for money, is she?

[B]

No. And I've which one of my suggestions to him was, I think that we should ask her for rent.

[A]

No, you don't want her to stay. No, don't ask people for rent, that will pay it.

[B]

Okay, okay, fair enough. My thing was after X amount of time of asking for rent saying, okay, here's a lump sum.

[C]

You just wanted something that felt righteous in this whole deal and so you don't want any.

[A]

I'm not going to help you with that at all. I'm just going to be practical. And look, your husband has to handle this and he has to sit down and have a personal quiet conversation with his mom. And if he doesn't have a backbone, he can run down to Walmart and pick one up on all three and sit down and go, mom, we got to get you a thing that's a better life for you than a trailer in my backyard. Now let's figure out where we can get you a place and let's figure out how many hours a month you got to work to get that done. And I'll help you with your budget and, and even if he, you know, and I'll help you get the trailer sold so you got some money to move and so on, but you do.

[B]

Not want, I'm sorry, she won't accept help with the budget. She knows what she's doing with everything.

[A]

She will. If your husband sits down and says, mom, if you don't do this, you have to leave anyway.

[B]

She has asked us for help and recommendations on things like what do I do with my car? And then when we give her legitimate recommendations, like slaps them all down. I have come up with lists of low income and senior housing, different apartments and said, hey, here's some good options. Hey, here's some good options for this. Here's some good options.

[A]

You haven't heard everything I said.

[B]

I have.

[A]

You came up with all these options. You are the Wicked Witch of the west in her eyes. She does not want anything to do with any suggestion that comes out of your mouth. You need to quit. Stop. You need to stop doing this. You're no help. You're a problem. You're not a help. Your husband, however, needs to take the list that you came up with and go sit with his mother without you around. You don't even need to be in the county when he does this, like, four counties over at happy hour while he handles his mom. You cannot fix his. She ain't listening to you. She hadn't listened to you in a decade. I can promise you she's had it with you like you've had it with her. This is not. You have no grounds for persuasion with this woman. She does not think you have her best interest at heart. You know why? Because you don't.

[C]

You don't know. Not at all. And we don't think you're a bad person. We just hear a person who's exhausted.

[A]

You're over it.

[C]

You have none of those left to give, if you know what I'm saying. All right?

[A]

Yeah. The only way you're gonna fix this is install a backbone in your husband so baby boy deals with his mommy.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's what's gonna have to happen. The only thing you can do and then stand back and watch, and hopefully he'll wander over there and get it done. Probably not at the speed you would have. Yeah. But that's your only shot, Brandy. You can't come up with any more solutions.

[C]

That's a marriage problem. You and your hubs got to get together because you're a couple cocktails away from a Jerry Springer episode, and, you know, none of us are above it. But I think you were on your last nerve. And I get it.

[A]

It's funny, though.

[C]

It's hilarious. Yeah.

[A]

Goodness gracious. Yeah. Hey, by the way, that's a good recipe for everybody, regardless of how pissy you are. Okay. Or how far up the pissy spectrum you are, is how about you let the do not fix the in laws. Let the blood relative of the in laws do the fixing. And you stand back with suggestions way in the distance. And don't let them even think the suggestion came from you. That's always a good idea. Create your free everydollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.