"Your Kid Is Being A Brat"

Summary

The Ramsey Show Highlights – "Your Kid Is Being A Brat"

Date: August 29, 2025
Hosts: Dave Ramsey & Rachel Cruze
Main Theme:
Navigating family dynamics when financial success alters expectations—specifically, how to set boundaries when relatives try to exploit your new financial status, even involving their children in passive-aggressive ways.

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on a listener's question about newly found financial freedom leading to uncomfortable and disrespectful behavior from relatives. The hosts discuss practical approaches to handling family members who expect financial favors and use their children to make those requests. Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze offer their contrasting philosophies—directness vs. diplomacy—on establishing boundaries while maintaining relationships.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Listener's Dilemma (00:09–01:13)

• Situation: Susie from Michigan wrote in explaining her family is now debt-free—including their house. This information has led her siblings to coach their toddlers to repeatedly call Susie and her husband "big money," asking them to pay for trips (e.g., to Disney) and assuming they’ll host family gatherings without input or help.
• Primary Concern: While initially humorous, this ongoing behavior feels disrespectful. Attempts to redirect it ("prefer to be called aunt and uncle") have failed. Susie notes her siblings are "fragile" and tend to "blow things out of proportion."
  • Rachel says: "Some of my siblings are very frugal."
  • Dave corrects: "Fragile." (00:51)

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2. Dave & Rachel's Approaches: Directness vs. Diplomacy (01:13–01:44)

• Dave’s Direct Approach: Advocates for naming the problem bluntly.
  • Quote: "If you're fragile and you send your kids in to say stupid things to adults, you better be expect to have your little fragile broken." – Dave Ramsey (01:06)
  • Suggests confronting the sibling directly: "Hey, your kid's being a brat. Stop it. Seriously." (01:17)
• Rachel’s Diplomatic Approach: Prefers a softer conversation.
  • Quote: "Yeah, I mean, I would sit down and say, hey, y'all, I know this is funny and, you know, you think it's cute and all of it, but…we just want to be aunt and uncle." – Rachel Cruze (01:33)
  • Suggests putting up boundaries for hosting and contributing, rather than making a big issue with the kids.

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3. Setting Boundaries with Family Gatherings (02:06–02:18)

• Both agree that for practical arrangements like hosting, it is fine to assert boundaries without a big discussion.
  • Dave’s advice: "Just say, it's not convenient." (02:06)
  • Rachel adds: "I need to delegate some of the responsibilities… I think that's fine." (02:18)
  • Dave recommends requiring contributions: "You need to bring dessert and you need to bring the meat." (02:14)

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4. Labeling the Behavior & Its Impact (02:18–03:25)

• Discussion turns to whether or not to call the children "brats."
  • Rachel's stance: Would not directly call her niece or nephew a brat to her in-laws.
  • Dave clarifies: "Yeah, I'm going to go. You know, they need to stop that. That's brat. I might at least say they're bratty. That's being bratty. And you're teaching them this and you shouldn't, you know." (02:44)
• Both agree the issue isn't with the kids, but with the parents' behavior.
  • Dave’s strong statement: "The parents are being butts...It's passive aggressive and a little jealous." (03:00–03:04)
  • Quote: "What kicks me off is they're sending their kids to do their dirty work. They want to make this point and they're too cowardly to do it themselves...this is not fair." – Dave Ramsey (03:06–03:25)
  • Both hosts agree that using children for such passive aggressive messaging is inappropriate and unfair.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On fragile relatives:
  • "If you're fragile and you send your kids in to say stupid things to adults, you better be expect to have your little fragile broken." – Dave Ramsey, 01:06
• On naming the behavior:
  • "Hey, your kid's being a brat. Stop it. Seriously." – Dave Ramsey, 01:17
  • "That's brat. I might at least say they're bratty. That's being bratty. And you're teaching them this and you shouldn't, you know." – Dave Ramsey, 02:44
• On setting boundaries:
  • "Just say, it's not convenient." – Dave Ramsey, 02:06
  • "I need to delegate some of the responsibilities and I don't know, I think that's fine." – Rachel Cruze, 02:18
• On parents' role:
  • "The parents are being butts...It's passive aggressive and a little jealous." – Dave Ramsey, 03:03–03:04
  • "What kicks me off is they're sending their kids to do their dirty work...so they got their little brat kid doing it." – Dave Ramsey, 03:06

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Practical Takeaways

• Address the Real Issue: Focus on communicating directly with adults rather than blaming the children.
• Set Clear Boundaries: Politely but firmly limit expectations around hosting, financial contributions, and roles in the family.
• Don’t Enable Passive Aggression: Refuse to accommodate behavior that uses children as messengers for adult issues.
• Be Honest But Respectful: Choose the style (direct or diplomatic) that fits your relationship dynamics, but do not avoid the conversation if it’s necessary for your peace and self-respect.

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This episode offers a concise, lively discussion with relatable examples and actionable advice for handling tricky family situations revolving around money and boundaries.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

Brought to you by Y Refi. Refinance your defaulted private student loans [e-mail].

[Rachel Cruze]

Ramsey Today's question comes from Susie in Michigan. My husband and I have recently become debt free, including our house. My siblings know this and have started coaching their toddlers to call us big money. They encourage their children to say things like, hey, big money, we want to go to Disney. So you can go and pay for. So can you go and pay for us? We thought it was a joke at first, but now it happens all the time. We've told them that we prefer to be called aunt and uncle, but nothing changes. For family gatherings, it's assumed that we will host the celebrations at our house with no offers to contribute. I don't mind having people over, but I feel like this behavior is disrespectful. How do we approach this? Some of my siblings are very frugal.

[Dave Ramsey]

Fragile.

[Rachel Cruze]

Fragile. Thank you. I was gonna say frugal. Emotionally wise and blow things out of proportion. They're fragile. Oh, I wish they were frugal. I wish the other word was true, but it's not.

[Dave Ramsey]

If you're fragile and you send your kids in to say stupid things to adults, you better be expect to have your little fragile broken.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, we're probably gonna have different approaches to this situation.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, it's not the kids fault, but yeah, I'm probably gonna sit down with sis and go, hey, your kids being a brat. Stop it. Seriously.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah, it's going to probably be our different approach.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, Rachel, what's the nice version?

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah, I mean, I would sit down and say, hey, y', all, I know this is funny and, you know, you think it's cute and all of it, but also, I don't want this to become a pattern of who we are in their lives. And it has been. And so we would love to. For them to stop calling us Big money, asking for trips, all the things. We just want to be aunt and uncle and. Okay, that. That would be the conversation point with the kids and then the other things, family gatherings and stuff. I would, I would. I don't feel like there needs to be a conversation around that. I think you just put up your own boundaries and say, sorry, we can't host this time, you know, and you.

[Dave Ramsey]

Just say, it's not convenient.

[Rachel Cruze]

You just say, no some of the times. And. And if not, say, okay, yes, we'll do this, but we need.

[Dave Ramsey]

Need you do this, this, and this. Yeah, you need to bring dessert and you need to bring the meat.

[Rachel Cruze]

I need. Yeah, I. I need to delegate some of the responsibilities and I don't know, I think that's fine. But the whole kid thing. Yeah. I mean, I would. I would not call. I would not call my niece and nephew Bratz to my in laws or to my sister and Bill, her husband. I wouldn't be like. You're what? You wouldn't either. You kind of act tough, but you would not call your.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, I'm going to go. You know, they need to stop that. That's brat. I might at least say they're bratty. That's being bratty. And you're teaching them this and you shouldn't, you know. Yeah, I'm going to call it out. I mean, that's really ridiculous.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

And it's really not funny.

[Rachel Cruze]

Well, it's not. And it's.

[Dave Ramsey]

The parents are being butts and what?

[Rachel Cruze]

It's passive aggressive and a little jealous.

[Dave Ramsey]

What kicks me off is they're sending their kids to do their dirty work. They want to make this point and they're too cowardly to do it themselves, so they got their little brat kid doing it. I'm serious. That's the thing. That's just. That's parents being wusses and it's the parents. I'm like, this is. This is not fair.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

You know, and I just. It's just wrong. So. Yeah. I mean, and so don't send your kids to do your dirty work. You know, do. If you want to say something, make it. Make a statement. But you don't have to send your four year old in.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's just silly and it's not funny. It's passive aggressive. Why refi Refinances delinquent private student loans for struggling borrowers. Learn more at yre F y Com Ramsay.