"You're Not Even Making Six-Figures, Dude"

Summary

The Ramsey Show Highlights: "You're Not Even Making Six-Figures, Dude"

Release Date: July 28, 2025
Host: Ramsey Network
Description: A daily ten-minute dose of life and money advice featuring experts like Dave Ramsey, Rachel Cruze, and others.

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Introduction

In the episode titled "You're Not Even Making Six-Figures, Dude," Shelby reaches out to The Ramsey Show seeking guidance on financial arrangements within her romantic relationship. Her boyfriend, who earns approximately $85,000 annually—just over double her $30,000 income—prefers maintaining completely separate finances, a stance that raises concerns about their future together, particularly regarding marriage and family planning.

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Listener’s Concerns: Shelby’s Dilemma

Shelby shares her apprehensions about marrying her Australian boyfriend after a year of dating. Key points from her situation include:

• Income Disparity: Her boyfriend earns around $85,000, while she makes about $30,000.

• Financial Independence: He insists on keeping finances entirely separate, despite owning his first home.

• Prenuptial Considerations: He has suggested the possibility of a prenup, adding to Shelby's feelings of insecurity about their financial future together.

• Emotional Impact: Shelby feels “gross” and “not safe” considering the financial dynamics proposed by her boyfriend.

Notable Quote:

“I just feel not secure maybe marrying and having kids with somebody who feels, you know, finances should be 100% separate.” — Shelby [00:25]

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Experts Weigh In: Rachel Cruze and Dave Ramsey’s Insights

Rachel Cruze and Dave Ramsey delve into Shelby's concerns, analyzing the implications of maintaining separate finances in a committed relationship.

1. Understanding the Reasoning:

   • Rachel Cruze questions the underlying reasons for Shelby’s boyfriend wanting to keep finances separate, probing whether it's due to past experiences like his parents' divorce or insecurity over income disparity.

   Notable Quote:

   “Did he give you reasons why he wants to keep it separate? Is it because of the amount he earns? Is it something that happened in his past?” — Rachel Cruze [00:52]

2. Potential Red Flags:

   • Rachel Cruze emphasizes that a desire for financial separation may reflect a broader reluctance to fully commit emotionally and financially, signaling potential future issues in the relationship.

   Notable Quote:

   “If you want to keep yourself from me, and you are, financially, when he's living like this, there's gonna be other parts of our marriage that are going to be in that exact same formula.” — Rachel Cruze [02:29]

3. Risks of Financial Secrecy:

   • Dave Ramsey warns that separate finances can lead to resentment, scorekeeping, and even financial infidelity, where one partner may develop spending habits unbeknownst to the other.

   Notable Quote:

   “It causes financial infidelity down the line because you have no say or transparency into what he's doing with money.” — Dave Ramsey [05:01]

4. Importance of Unified Financial Goals:

   • Both experts advocate for joint financial planning as a foundation for a healthy, trusting relationship. They suggest that merging finances fosters unity and shared responsibility, essential for navigating life’s challenges together.

   Notable Quote:

   “It's a covenant. I see it as something bigger than me. And we're entering into this, and every part of our lives, we're combining.” — Rachel Cruze [04:23]

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Navigating the Conversation: Strategies and Solutions

Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze offer practical advice for Shelby and listeners facing similar dilemmas:

1. Open Dialogue:

   • Initiate honest conversations about financial fears, goals, and the underlying reasons for preferring separate accounts.

2. Counseling and Mediation:

   • Consider financial counseling or couples therapy to address and mitigate fears related to money management within the relationship.

3. Gradual Integration:

   • Propose a trial period of shared finances, such as a joint account for discretionary spending, to build trust and see how both partners adapt.

   Notable Quote:

   “If you love him, keep pressing in on it. Let this be a... good kind of litmus test to the relationship and how much your opinion matters.” — Rachel Cruze [09:00]

4. Future Planning:

   • Discuss scenarios like one partner staying home with children or changes in income, ensuring both partners feel secure and respected in their financial roles.

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Conclusion: Weighing the Relationship’s Financial Compatibility

The episode underscores the critical role of financial compatibility in romantic relationships. Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze highlight that differing views on money management can strain the relationship unless both partners commit to transparency, unity, and mutual respect. For Shelby, the advice centers on not overlooking these red flags and using them as indicators of the relationship’s potential longevity and harmony.

Final Takeaway:
Maintaining separate finances in a committed relationship may seem beneficial initially, especially in cases of income disparity. However, without open communication and shared financial goals, it can lead to deeper emotional and relational conflicts. Building a unified financial strategy is essential for a thriving, long-term partnership.

Notable Quote:

“Create your free every dollar. Budget today the simplest way to budget for your life.” — Dave Ramsey [09:27]

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Note: This summary focuses solely on the substantive discussion between Shelby, Rachel Cruze, and Dave Ramsey, omitting promotional segments and non-content sections as per guidelines.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

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[Shelby]

I was just wondering. I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year now, and we're starting to talk about marriage. He's Australian, and basically we were talking about finances, and he would want to keep them, like, completely separate. He earns like, a little over double what I earn. He just bought his first house as well, and it concerns me. He also mentioned maybe wanting me to sign a prenup. And I just feel not secure maybe marrying and having kids with somebody who feels, you know, finances should be 100% separate. So I was kind of wondering what y' all thoughts were, if you had any advice for me on this topic, basically, moving forward. Yeah.

[Rachel Cruz]

Did he give you reasons why he wants to keep it separate? Is it because of the amount he earns? Is it something that happened in his past? His parents, like. Did he give you reasons why?

[Shelby]

Yeah, pretty vague. His parents did get divorced, but on fairly good terms. I think the income disparity is a bit of an issue for him, which I don't not understand. But I think mainly he just wants to feel that he's in control of the money that he's. He's earned. We were talking about it last night, actually, and he was saying what? Well, I don't believe that it would be our. Our money, you know, if we were married. What I earn is like my money.

[Dave Ramsey]

So it'd be his house, his money, and you just get the privilege of living there at a discounted rate. Is that what this future looks like?

[Shelby]

Basically. I don't think he sees it that way, but, yeah, that's kind of.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's what he's saying. It sounds like he wants to be single.

[Rachel Cruz]

No, he didn't have single.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, he wants the benefits of the relationship. He loves her, but he doesn't want the commitment of a relationship.

[Rachel Cruz]

Commitments from a financial standpoint and. Which means. Is an indicator what you're getting at, George. An indicator of. I want to keep parts of myself to me and you keep you over there, and I want it nice and tidy. And I want to enter into a lifelong relationship with you, which is not realistic. Like this tidiness and this. Like, I'm here, you're there, and this feels good. Like, no, you guys are about to share a bed. You're going to have kids and share genetics that are running around in front of you. Like you're sharing every other part of your life.

[Dave Ramsey]

And yet you have to Venmo him for Outback Steakhouse. Hey, George here. With a quick interruption. If something were to happen to you tomorrow, would your family know where to find your life insurance policy, your will, even your Netflix password? Well, Knockbox solves that. It's a kit that organizes your financial accounts, state plans, and everything your family would need all in one place. That way they don't have to hack into your laptop or locate some long lost thumb drive. So leave them a legacy, not a scavenger hunt with Knockbox. Ramsey fans get the best discount [e-mail] Ramsey that's knockbox.com Ramsey. And yet you have to Venmo him for Outback Steakhouse.

[Shelby]

That's the future, it sounds like. Yeah. Because I was saying, well, maybe we could have a joint account and then agree upon a percentage of our checks that we put into separate discretionary spend.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yep. So. So the red. The red flag, to me, the big overarching is that if you want to keep yourself from me, and you are, financially, when he's living like this, there's gonna be other parts of our marriage that are going to be in that exact same formula. Because that's your mindset. You can't go into a marriage and say, I want this part for me, this part for you. Kids. Yeah, sure, we'll share together. Calendars. No, I'll go do my thing. You do. Like, you can't live your life like that in a marriage. Well, you can't live your life like that in a. I would say a healthy, well connected marriage. Because the healthiest marriages that we see are ones that people say I do to you for the rest of my life. And I see it as a covenant. I see it as something bigger than me. And we're entering into this, and every part of our lives, we're combining. And that doesn't mean that you're not still Shelby and he's not still him. And he, you know, he has his quirks with money, and, you know, he loves to budget. And you don't, like, there's still going to be opposites. You're still going to have your natural tendencies. But to say that I'm going to block you from a part of me to keep me in control over here, that. That's saying a lot about someone. It really is. And a lot of people disagree with this advice. If you called another money show, yeah, they probably wouldn't be as bothered as we are. But we see this as a reflection of the person, more so than just the reflection of the bank account.

[Dave Ramsey]

And I've rarely seen a thriving marriage with total unity and love long term that lives this way. It's just too hard because what. It turns into resentment and scorekeeping of, well, I covered this bill last time, and, well, I make half as much, so I. I should only cover half as much of the bills. It just becomes tit for tat. And that's just not a way to live your life, entering into this.

[Rachel Cruz]

It's a business relationship, not a romantic. You know what I mean? Not. Not a partnership.

[Dave Ramsey]

And it causes financial infidelity down the line because you have no say or transparency into what he's doing with money. He could have a spending addiction that you're totally unaware of because you don't see the account. You don't have access to the account. And so I'm not saying this relationship shouldn't continue, but I do think we need to. We need to find some consensus and unity here in alignment in what our future looks like. And I don't think he's a bad guy. I think this is just all he knows. And I think, truthfully, at the heart of this is fear. And so getting to the root of that fear and overcoming it over time with lots of conversations, maybe some counseling, and realizing that one day you might not have an income at all. What if you stay home with the kids? What happens then? Do you get an allowance?

[Shelby]

He said in that case, he. He'd be willing to reconsider and combine things for. For that amount of time. But I just. The whole thing makes me feel, like, gross. Not safe.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes. Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, I. I would charge him rent for the nine months that that baby is housed inside of you. You go, well, yeah, right. Thousand bucks a month. Nine months. That's nine grand you owe me.

[Rachel Cruz]

Is he bringing in a lot of money? Like, does he have, like, millions of dollars and in an account that he's bringing in?

[Shelby]

No. The issue is just really, that I'm not earning enough right now. I'm making about 30, which is not good, and he's making about 85.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay. All right.

[Shelby]

Can you hold on?

[Rachel Cruz]

Can we.

[Dave Ramsey]

I thought this guy was, like, a multi millionaire.

[Rachel Cruz]

Shelby. I thought he was making, like, four. I thought he was a surgeon. I thought he. Half a million to 600, and you're like, I'm making 150. I don't know. He's making $85,000. I'm sorry. Get off your high horse. I can't. Oh, I can't.

[Dave Ramsey]

Is this. Listen, it takes a lot to tick off Rachel, and he done ticked her off.

[Rachel Cruz]

Well, I'm Like, I'm sorry your little ego is so inflated at 85. Like, 85 is great. Listen, it's great.

[Dave Ramsey]

Hey, babe, let me handle it. I'm the breadwinner here.

[Rachel Cruz]

You know what, what happens if making six figures, dude.

[Dave Ramsey]

What happens if you make more than him? Then do you get control of the board?

[Shelby]

That's been a lot of my issue because I've told him, you know, if you, if this is how he entered a marriage, at some point, because of some other circumstances I could see, maybe in the future I may earn more. His job is very physical. If he loses it, that's kind of. It's a big. It's going to be an issue. And if I do earn more later on and you have an issue, I'm going to feel like, well, I hope you figure it out, because that's how you treated me. And that's not the mindset I want to.

[Dave Ramsey]

Either way, the relationship.

[Rachel Cruz]

And you're already going into scorekeeping. Like, even that scenario, you're not even married yet. You know what I mean? It's so, like, it's.

[Shelby]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruz]

So. Yeah. Shelby, I. And again, I, I don't want to paint him like he's a bad guy. I think you're right, George. I think it's just all he knows, it's all he's aware of. But, but I mean, that, that, I mean, it gets, that gets down to a deal breaker for me because I, I, I just can't, I can't even imagine. I can't imagine Winston. I couldn't imagine playing that through.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruz]

In a scenario.

[Dave Ramsey]

I need more this month. So I get control of the board for this month.

[Rachel Cruz]

Because I'll be honest with you, prenups and stuff. I mean, she'. Even from my own just personal opinion, I've gotten even more lenient with those. I used to be so anti them, but I. We've seen so many situations, you know, and that's why I asked, is he bringing in a lot? Like, you know, I mean, I've had friends that have gotten screwed with stuff. Like, I mean, just. I get it. I get that there's a lot of pain and there's parts of like, hey, let's. I want to be wise about this because I, you know, I get it. I can have a conversation around that, but not at 85, with, with not like something really big that you're bringing in. Like, to me, I don't know if it's ego, fear, George, is maybe what it is. I don't know. But I, Yeah, that's just. It just doesn't set you up.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, what I wouldn't do is just look right past it and go, oh, well, maybe it'll solve itself once we're married.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah. And she. And you're not. Because your gut's telling you something. Shelby, you said that you're like. It makes me feel like, ugh. Because it is ugh. You know?

[Shelby]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruz]

It's not like Jeff Bezos, you know, he got married. Sure. Sign a prenup.

[Shelby]

Sure.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm sure there was a prenup involved there.

[Rachel Cruz]

Sign the prenup for Jeff, you know, But I don't know. Yeah. Shelby, I'm sorry. If you love him, keep pressing in on it. I mean, you know, let. Let this be a. A good kind of litmus test to the relationship and how much your opinion matters, and if you. And if he values your opinion enough to learn from you even. Right. Is there that humility there? Um, so let this kind of be a litmus test of you guys talking through it. But that. That would be hard. That's fine.

[Dave Ramsey]

And, guys, take note. All she wants is a joint account. Okay? It's not that hard. We could all be married and happy by now, instead of just closing our fists and going, it's mine. All the jewels are mine. It's no way to live. Create your free every dollar. Budget today the simplest way to budget for your life.