Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show – "Define Your Future By Setting The Right Financial Priorities"

Release Date: December 26, 2024
Host: Ramsey Network (Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruz)

In this engaging episode of The Ramsey Show, Dave Ramsey and his co-host Rachel Cruz delve into the critical topic of setting the right financial priorities to define one’s future. Throughout the episode, they address a variety of listener calls, offering practical advice and insights to help individuals overcome financial challenges and achieve their life goals. The episode emphasizes the importance of budgeting, ethical financial decisions, and aligning financial actions with personal values.

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Introduction

[00:30] Dave Ramsey:
“Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, this is the Ramsey Show. It's where we help you win in your life. Very specifically, in your money, in your work, and in your relationships.”

Dave Ramsey sets the stage by welcoming listeners and introducing Rachel Cruz, emphasizing their mission to provide hope and actionable advice to those facing financial dilemmas.

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Listener Call: Ken Coleman from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

[01:21] Ken Coleman:
“I'm currently working two full-time remote jobs. I'm fortunate to find two, you know, remote jobs.”

Ken Coleman reaches out with a unique situation: he is juggling two full-time remote jobs without his employers' knowledge. Dave humorously labels Ken a "professional polygamist," highlighting the ethical and practical challenges of maintaining dual employment.

Notable Quotes:

• [02:02] Dave Ramsey:
  “You are a professional polygamist. Are you aware of this?”

• [05:32] Dave Ramsey:
  “Company XYZ is also paying Melanie to work 40 hours a week.”

Discussion:

Ken explains his predicament: he has been successfully managing two full-time roles for a year, netting approximately $96,000 annually. Recently, he received an offer for a new position that offers a base pay of $100,000 with the potential for a 20% bonus. However, accepting this offer would require him to relinquish one of his current jobs, potentially reducing his net income but providing more professional growth and work-life balance, especially with school-age children at home.

Advice:

Dave and Rachel dissect Ken's situation, emphasizing the risks of maintaining dual jobs without employer knowledge, including potential job loss and ethical concerns. They advise Ken to prioritize long-term stability and personal well-being over short-term financial gains. Rachel reinforces the importance of integrity, while Dave underscores the unsustainable nature of Ken’s current arrangement.

[08:20] Dave Ramsey:
“Melanie, take the job, man. You gotta get out of jail free here on this one.”

Conclusion:

Ken is encouraged to accept the new job offer, aligning his work commitments with his family responsibilities and ethical standards. This decision is portrayed as a step towards financial prioritization and personal integrity.

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Listener Call: Karina from Boise, Idaho

[10:41] Karina:
“Last week my fiancé and I broke up because we couldn't decide on finances and how to inherit our kids.”

Karina shares her emotional struggle following a breakup with her fiancé, driven by disagreements over financial priorities and inheritance plans for their children from previous relationships.

Notable Quotes:

• [12:05] Ken Coleman:
  “I want to leave this as an inheritance to my son because I think I sacrificed a lot of quality time.”

• [14:11] Rachel Cruz:
  “Under no scenario are you going to disavow or as you're saying, disinherit your son.”

Discussion:

Karina reveals her intention to leave her fully paid-off house to her 21-year-old son to compensate for the time she couldn't spend with him during her education and single years. Her fiancé, however, prioritizes combining their finances and equally splitting assets for all children involved. This fundamental difference leads to their mutual decision to part ways.

Advice:

Dave and Rachel address the complexities of blended families and inheritance. They assert that disinheriting children is neither ethical nor advised, emphasizing open communication and aligning financial plans with familial responsibilities. Rachel encourages Karina to separate emotional decisions from financial ones, ensuring that her actions honor both her relationship and her son without compromising her financial integrity.

[15:11] Dave Ramsey:
“If your spouse doesn’t agree with your financial priorities, it’s a problem that needs to be resolved with honest communication.”

Conclusion:

Karina is commended for her courageous decision to end the relationship for the sake of her financial principles and familial responsibilities. The hosts highlight the importance of prioritizing children's well-being while maintaining ethical financial practices.

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Listener Call: Jason from Los Angeles, California

[32:00] Jason:
“I have a quinceañera that my daughter wants to plan, and I'm not sure if I can afford it.”

Jason seeks guidance on funding his daughter’s quinceañera, a significant cultural celebration akin to a Sweet 16, amidst an ongoing divorce. He estimates the cost to be between $10,000 and $15,000 but questions whether it's feasible without dipping into his emergency fund, which is allocated for unforeseen expenses like alimony.

Notable Quotes:

• [34:09] Rachel Cruz:
  “It's not an emergency, so you shouldn't dip into that fund.”

• [39:37] Dave Ramsey:
  “If you set a number within your means, like $3,000, that’s what you should commit to.”

Discussion:

Jason reveals that while his emergency fund is fully funded based on previous support obligations, he needs to contribute to his daughter's quinceañera. Initially, his ex-fiancé requested a $5,000 contribution, but Jason doubts this is sufficient given the high estimates. Dave and Rachel advise setting a realistic and comfortable budget that does not strain his financial stability.

Advice:

The hosts recommend prioritizing financial obligations and setting a clear, manageable budget for the event. They emphasize the importance of communication with his daughter and ex-spouse to establish boundaries and prevent the celebration from escalating beyond his means.

[40:04] Rachel Cruz:
“Set a clear budget and communicate with your daughter about what’s feasible.”

Conclusion:

Jason is encouraged to cap his contribution to a figure that ensures his financial health remains intact, suggesting a $3,000 limit. This approach balances honoring his daughter's wishes with maintaining financial discipline.

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Listener Call: Preston from Dallas, Texas

[43:28] Preston:
“We make about $190,000 a year but feel like we’re hemorrhaging money through miscellaneous and food budgets.”

Preston describes a high-income household struggling to manage $222,000 in debt, including a car loan, medical debt, student loans, and a mortgage. Despite his background in accounting, he finds it frustrating to stick to a budget, noting that lifestyle creep has led to overspending.

Notable Quotes:

• [45:28] Rachel Cruz:
  “This is classic lifestyle creep. You just keep adding more expenses until you're spending everything you make.”

• [49:09] Rachel Cruz:
  “You need to focus on behavior changes, not just numbers.”

Discussion:

Preston explains that despite diligent budgeting, his family overspends on categories like food and miscellaneous expenses, leaving them without financial progress at month’s end. He seeks advice on curbing overspending and effectively managing their debt.

Advice:

Dave and Rachel identify behavior as the root issue, not the budget itself. They recommend stringent measures such as eliminating eating out, cutting unnecessary subscriptions, and adopting a "gazelle intense" approach to aggressively pay down debt. Emphasis is placed on discipline and making lifestyle sacrifices to achieve financial freedom.

[50:10] Dave Ramsey:
“Stop eating out and eliminate non-essential expenses. Focus on paying off your smallest debts first.”

Conclusion:

Preston is advised to drastically reduce discretionary spending and focus on debt repayment strategies, such as the debt snowball method. By altering spending habits and prioritizing debt elimination, he can regain financial control and progress towards financial stability.

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Listener Call: Connor from Reno, Nevada

[53:41] Connor:
“My wife and I are about to move out of our home and inherit $300,000 early from my parents. We’re debating between renting out our current home or selling it to buy our next house debt-free.”

Connor and his wife are considering the best use of an early inheritance of $300,000. Their options include paying off their current mortgage to rent out the property for passive income or selling the home to purchase a new one outright, eliminating future mortgage payments.

Notable Quotes:

• [55:30] Rachel Cruz:
  “Being a landlord is not just about passive income; it’s a part-time job with its own responsibilities.”

• [57:42] Dave Ramsey:
  “Selling the house to buy a new one debt-free is often the smarter financial move.”

Discussion:

Connor weighs the benefits of generating passive income through renting versus achieving financial freedom by paying off the mortgage entirely. Rachel highlights the potential pitfalls of being a landlord, including maintenance and tenant management, while Dave underscores the long-term benefits of debt elimination.

Advice:

The hosts advocate for selling the current home to buy the next one outright, thereby eliminating mortgage debt and reducing financial stress. They emphasize the unpredictability of rental income and the time commitment required for property management.

[58:23] Rachel Cruz:
“If you can eliminate your mortgage, you free yourself from monthly payments and potential landlord headaches.”

Conclusion:

Connor is advised to prioritize financial security by selling the current home and purchasing a new one without a mortgage. This decision is presented as a path to greater financial freedom and simplicity.

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Listener Call: Melissa from Chattanooga, Tennessee

[59:33] Melissa:
“I have a potential career fork. My current retail location might close, and there’s an opportunity for promotion, but I’m unsure if it’s the right choice.”

Melissa faces a career crossroads as her current retail location may merge into a larger one, with her director planning to retire in two to three years. She is offered a pathway to a director role but is hesitant about the leap.

Notable Quotes:

• [61:48] Rachel Cruz:
  “Take your time to assess your long-term goals and consider professional coaching.”

• [62:16] Dave Ramsey:
  “Stay with your current employer until you have a clear path forward.”

Discussion:

Melissa contemplates whether to pursue the director role, which promises career advancement but may not align with her personal aspirations. She seeks guidance on making an informed decision that balances professional growth with personal satisfaction.

Advice:

Dave and Rachel advise Melissa to stay with her current employer while she evaluates the opportunity further. They suggest using assessment tools to better understand her career goals and to consider the long-term implications of taking the promotion.

[62:03] Dave Ramsey:
“Stay with your current employer until you have a clear understanding of your long-term path.”

Conclusion:

Melissa is encouraged to remain in her current position while thoroughly evaluating the promotion opportunity, ensuring that any career move aligns with her long-term objectives and personal fulfillment.

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Listener Call: Levi from Reno, Nevada

[64:26] Levi:
“I’ve just paid off $20,000 in debt and want to propose to my girlfriend. How much should I spend on a ring?”

Levi, newly debt-free, seeks advice on budgeting for an engagement ring while managing his financial priorities. He’s cautious about balancing new financial commitments with maintaining his emergency fund.

Notable Quotes:

• [65:43] Rachel Cruz:
  “Our rule of thumb is one month's salary for the ring.”

• [66:01] Rachel Cruz:
  “Don’t let guilt drive your financial decisions.”

Discussion:

Levi explains that he recently cleared $20,000 in debt and is considering purchasing an engagement ring. He is unsure whether to prioritize building his emergency fund fully before allocating funds to the ring.

Advice:

Dave and Rachel recommend adhering to a budget that aligns with Levi’s financial situation, suggesting a rule of thumb of spending one month’s salary on the ring. They advise balancing the ring purchase with continued savings to ensure financial stability.

[66:17] Dave Ramsey:
“Get the ring that fits your budget and continue building your emergency fund.”

Conclusion:

Levi is advised to purchase an engagement ring within his means, such as one month’s salary, while simultaneously maintaining his emergency fund. This approach ensures that his financial priorities remain balanced.

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Listener Call: David from Fredericksburg, Virginia

[69:14] David:
“I’m considering a reverse mortgage as I approach retirement to continue living in my house.”

David seeks advice on using a reverse mortgage to stay in his home longer while reducing his work hours. He has significant mortgage remaining and additional debt, raising concerns about financial security in retirement.

Notable Quotes:

• [69:32] Rachel Cruz:
  “Reverse mortgages are not recommended as they can significantly reduce your home equity.”

• [73:16] Dave Ramsey:
  “Focus on paying off debt and building retirement savings instead of taking on more debt.”

Discussion:

David explains that he is nearing retirement and wants to reduce his workload by leveraging a reverse mortgage. He currently has $180,000 left on his mortgage and $20,000 in other debts, with plans to liquidate some assets to bolster his retirement funds.

Advice:

Dave and Rachel strongly advise against pursuing a reverse mortgage, highlighting its drawbacks, including loss of home equity and the burden of increased debt. Instead, they recommend prioritizing debt repayment and saving for retirement through more sustainable means.

[70:24] Dave Ramsey:
“A reverse mortgage can set you back financially. Focus on eliminating existing debt and building retirement savings.”

Conclusion:

David is advised to avoid reverse mortgages and instead focus on paying off his mortgage and other debts while building his retirement savings. This strategy promotes financial progression and security in retirement.

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Listener Call: Levi from Reno, Nevada (Follow-Up)

[74:08] Levi:
“I’m ready to jump in. I feel like my inner child is taking over in my relationship.”

Levi follows up on his previous call, expressing deeper emotional concerns about his relationship and anxiety related to financial decisions.

Notable Quotes:

• [75:03] Dave Ramsey:
  “You either have to choose to let this guy love you or you gotta choose to let this guy go.”

• [75:29] Dave Ramsey:
  “You have to make a choice about your relationship based on your financial and emotional well-being.”

Discussion:

Levi reveals that he struggles with anxiety stemming from past family issues, impacting his ability to make confident financial and personal decisions. He is unsure how to separate his emotional baggage from his current relationship dynamics.

Advice:

Dave encourages Levi to make clear decisions that prioritize his financial and emotional health, suggesting that he either commit fully to his relationship with clear financial boundaries or reconsider the relationship if it negatively affects his well-being.

[75:03] Dave Ramsey:
“Make a choice that supports your financial and emotional health.”

Conclusion:

Levi is guided to prioritize his mental health and financial stability when making relationship decisions, ensuring that his choices support a balanced and secure future.

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Conclusion

Throughout this episode, Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruz provide insightful and practical advice to listeners facing diverse financial challenges. The recurring themes emphasize the importance of ethical financial decisions, disciplined budgeting, and aligning financial actions with personal values and long-term goals. By addressing each caller's unique situation with compassion and clarity, the hosts reinforce the message that defining one's future starts with setting the right financial priorities.

Key Takeaways:

• Budgeting and Discipline: Effective budgeting requires not just understanding numbers but also implementing disciplined spending habits.

• Ethical Financial Decisions: Maintaining integrity in financial dealings is crucial for long-term stability and personal peace.

• Prioritizing Debt Elimination: Focusing on paying off debts systematically can pave the way for financial freedom and growth.

• Balancing Personal and Financial Goals: Aligning personal aspirations with financial capabilities ensures sustainable progress towards life goals.

For more detailed advice and financial strategies, listeners are encouraged to visit www.ramseysolutions.com and utilize tools like the EveryDollar budgeting app to take control of their financial future.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, this is the Ramsey Show. It's where we help you win in your life. Very specifically, in your money, in your work, and in your relationships. Triple 882-55-2225 is the number. 888-255-2225. Hey, we'd love to hear from you. Always fun to be sitting alongside my good pal, my friend. I don't know if you can call a lady a pal, but I just. My old pal, Rachel Cruz. Known each other forever, and we love, love taking your questions. So let's have some fun. Let's. Let's get some hope established for you so you can move forward. Let's start off in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, the.

[Rachel Cruz]

City of brotherly love.

[Dave Ramsey]

There it is. She used to make fun of me. Now I think you've been paying attention to my little. My little quotes. You're so happy about it. Melanie, how can we help?

[Ken Coleman]

Hey, guys, thank you so much for taking my call. I'm excited to talk to you, Booth.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, we're excited to talk to you. What's happening?

[Ken Coleman]

Awesome. So I'm a little bit of a professional conundrum, so.

[Dave Ramsey]

I love a conundrum. Great word, great word.

[Ken Coleman]

I'm. I'm currently working two full time remote jobs. That has been great for my family and all that. I'm fortunate to find two, you know, remote job.

[Dave Ramsey]

Hold on a second.

[Ken Coleman]

I.

[Dave Ramsey]

Hold on. Yeah, this is fascinating. I gotta know, do both companies know about the other?

[Ken Coleman]

Of course not.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you are a professional polygamist. Are you aware of this?

[Ken Coleman]

Can we say I. Yes, you can do different.

[Rachel Cruz]

Melody, I am so sorry that you have to deal with him.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, she's not offended. She's not offended at all.

[Ken Coleman]

I. I expect Ken to give me a hard time.

[Dave Ramsey]

I elicit not even doing that. I just wanted to say professional polygamist, because you've got. You. I've got two. You got sister wives, you got two companies that you're working full. They don't know about the other. And I'm not even trying.

[Rachel Cruz]

Sister wives knows about each other.

[Dave Ramsey]

That is fair. You get my point. It's a fun little metaphor. How are you pulling this off? How long have you pulled this off?

[Ken Coleman]

I've been doing it now for a year.

[Rachel Cruz]

Exhausted and. Huh. Are you tired?

[Ken Coleman]

I'm a little tired, yeah. I'm not gonna lie.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Keeping them away from each other, it's like. It's like having a mistress. It's exhausting.

[Ken Coleman]

So it's a lot of great time management.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's All I can say, you must be incredible. So what kind of money you knocking down?

[Ken Coleman]

So I'm netting 96 a year. 96 a year.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right, so what's your question?

[Ken Coleman]

So I just been offered a different job that would cause me to be hybrid 3 days in the office and 2 days working from home with a base pay of 100k and with up to a potential. You're getting a 20% bonus of my base pay.

[Rachel Cruz]

Wow.

[Dave Ramsey]

And what has kept you from saying yes to that offer?

[Ken Coleman]

Well, because I technically would be netting less, I guess. You know, right now my husband and I bring home about 12amonth and then if I take this, we'd be bringing home about 97.

[Dave Ramsey]

Why would the net be less?

[Ken Coleman]

That. That's not including the bonus though.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, exactly. And you're not cheating on another company and thus risking getting fired from one or both.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. And also I think professionally the job that just offered me this position would be a step up for me professionally.

[Dave Ramsey]

Great.

[Ken Coleman]

But I just, I just, I don't know, I just, I'm a little nervous about.

[Dave Ramsey]

So it's the net giving up to.

[Ken Coleman]

Remote jobs and you know, flexibility, the kids. Because I do have like school age children at home.

[Dave Ramsey]

Let me, let me ask you, Melanie, let me ask you a real question. And you've been a great sport because Rachel thinks I'm being mean. I'm not, I'm not judging you, I'm just trying to coach you. How long do you think you're going to be able to keep this up and then not find out about it? How long you think you.

[Ken Coleman]

Not very long. I mean, honestly, I think this is more just to do the debt snowball for my, you know, for my husband and I were at baby step two.

[Dave Ramsey]

I don't think you understand the. Hold on a second, Mel. I don't think Rachel understands the concept. She's working two full time jobs.

[Rachel Cruz]

I hear that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Be like you being a personality for another company and they not know about it. It's, it's, it's. She knows she can't keep this up because she's going to get found out and then she's fired.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, but wouldn't it be like having a part time job but you're just doing more hours?

[Ken Coleman]

It's pretty much what it's like because they are in two different fields.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, no, no, no, no. Okay, hold on just for a point of emphasis here. Okay. We're not going to get stuck on this, but I got to help my friend Rachel and Melanie going to Help me here.

[Ken Coleman]

No, Rachel has to help me.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, she doesn't understand it. Once she understands it. Rach, here's what's happening. One company, let's call it abc, is paying Melanie to work a full time job.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's what, 40 hours a week minimum. Melanie. Roughly.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Company XYZ is also paying Melanie to work 40 hours a week. And Melanie, just tell us how many hours you work in a week for both companies.

[Ken Coleman]

80.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's. I didn't see that coming. She's trying to get me out of technicality. I still think it's, I think it's, it's, it's unethical that they don't know about each other. Yeah.

[Rachel Cruz]

I could get the secret. Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

And again, not to judge you. Melanie is. There's no judgment. It's more protection. So we've already covered down. Do you get my.

[Rachel Cruz]

No. I always get. But in my head if she's, if she's working. But I get the secrecy. Right. But if you're working both full time.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. I said I acknowledge that she kind of had me on a technicality. But it's still dishonest and we still have an ethical issue that she could get penalized for.

[Rachel Cruz]

But if one.

[Dave Ramsey]

All I care about is.

[Rachel Cruz]

But if ABC Company doesn't care that she's also working for xyz, how do.

[Dave Ramsey]

You know if they don't know?

[Rachel Cruz]

No. But what if they're not? Then it's not. Then in your book, is it okay if they're okay with it? If they're okay with each other?

[Dave Ramsey]

100.

[Rachel Cruz]

So it's the secrecy that's bothering you, that they don't know about each other.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's not bothering me. It's in a sense that I think she's a bad. It's just, it's, it's risky for Melanie.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm literally playing defense lawyer for her going. I'm not going to tell you what you did was wrong. My job is to help you keep getting paid and not get fired.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

So now the question is, do I take this other job which has a bonus above and beyond the 100 base.

[Rachel Cruz]

Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

Plus a path for growth. Melanie, you said this is a job that's a better play for you long term.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Melanie, it's a no brainer.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

You're not working 80 hours a week.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah. Now you're not working 80 hours a.

[Dave Ramsey]

Week and you're not cheating on another company.

[Rachel Cruz]

And again, it may be a lifestyle shift because it's a hybrid idea. And. And. But maybe you get into that and. And it works and it's great. And you can. You figure out the logistics with the kids and your kids are in school, which is helpful.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruz]

Or you. You pan back a year from now and say wow, this is hard. So maybe I go back to lmno company, you find another job.

[Dave Ramsey]

Right. But Melanie. Melanie. You do know I'm on team Melanie, right?

[Rachel Cruz]

We love you, Melanie.

[Ken Coleman]

I do. But listen, do. And I just wanted to make sure that I Not. You're not kind of shooting myself in the foot. No, because $3,000 less that I'd be making.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, but you're not. You. But you told us you're not including the bonus in that exercise.

[Rachel Cruz]

So.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you gotta put the bonus in. Amortize that over 12 months and then you start looking at the monthly.

[Rachel Cruz]

It's not quite 3, 000 because you said 97. So it's.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. So my point is, I think it's. All in all, it's not going to be that much of a difference at all in the short term. And we know your mental term is better if you take this new job.

[Rachel Cruz]

And just for your own benefit. So you. 80 hours a week, you're working 40.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, that's true.

[Ken Coleman]

That's true.

[Rachel Cruz]

Freeze up a lot.

[Ken Coleman]

Thank you so much. I appreciate your input.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Melanie, take the job, man. You gotta get out of jail free here on this one. I mean. Whoa. By the way, this is a new trend. She is not alone. There are millions of Americans that are professional polygamists. They are. They have two full time jobs and they don't know about each other. And it is cheating. I don't care how you slice it. I'm all for you getting them paid, but man, you could get fired and I'd. Makes me nervous, you know. Oh man. This is the Ramsey Show.

[Rachel Cruz]

Hey.

[Dave Ramsey]

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[Rachel Cruz]

Welcome back to the Ramsey show where we are taking your calls about your money, your career, your relationships, anything and everything at Triple 882-55-5225. Up next is Karina in Boise. Hey Karina, welcome to the show.

[Ken Coleman]

Hi. Thank you.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, absolutely. How can we help?

[Ken Coleman]

So last week me and my fiance broke up because we couldn't decide on finances and also more importantly, we couldn't decide on how to inherit our kids. He has two boys and I have one son and I have a paid for house and I make a bit more money than him. He has a house with some equity in it, but he has a roommate on the title and mortgage who I can be invested together. And then so I am, I am Christian and I know God wants us to put our spouse before our children, but I think in our arguments I was just having such a hard time and you know, I haven't, I haven't been with my fiance but for a week. But just moving forward with him or without him, I need to figure it out for the next time that this comes up about and you know, figure out how to, how to deal with it.

[Dave Ramsey]

You know, do you guys share children?

[Ken Coleman]

Children?

[Dave Ramsey]

Are your children from different folks. You share them. What, what's the situation?

[Ken Coleman]

Oh, yeah. He has two boys with his first wife.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

And I have a son and I pretty much raised him alone. His father was not involved.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, gotcha. Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruz]

And what was the disagreement about, Karina?

[Ken Coleman]

So I think it all started when I mentioned to him that when I moved into my house, which is paid off, I wanted to leave this as an inheritance to my son because I think I sacrificed a lot of quality time when my son was little because I was going to school for engineering and I was single and I was working so I didn't get to spend that quality time with him. And when I finally got that stability, I wanted to give it to him kind of to make up for what I couldn't do Before, So it's really emotional for me to talk about finances and my ex fiance, he wasn't understanding that. And, and I get to this point, I get it, like your spouse should come first, but in terms of finances, I'm just having a hard time dealing with that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Did you, did you initiate the breakup or did he?

[Ken Coleman]

It was just kind of mutual. We just kind of got tired of talking about different scenarios and how we can make it work. And we both argued our points, like, I know he wants to protect his children and I want to protect my son in terms of, you know, what we have established already.

[Dave Ramsey]

So, so what's your question? What's your question for us specifically?

[Ken Coleman]

Like, how, how can, how do you go about finances in like a second relationship when you already bring in children?

[Rachel Cruz]

Do you like, because how old are the kids?

[Ken Coleman]

Disinherit them or do you just not get married? Yeah, my son is 21.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

And his kids, he has a 13 year old and a 15 year old.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

So no, I let Rachel take the bigger crux of the relationship and money.

[Rachel Cruz]

But he's 21 and he has a 15 year old.

[Ken Coleman]

No, my son is 21. My fiance is 40.

[Rachel Cruz]

Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry. I thought you meant he has more he. Your fiance. I'm sorry. I apologize.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. I just want to, I want to point out something that's come up twice in the conversation with us, and I just want to get that out of the way and let Rachel kind of help you on this. And I can weigh in on the marriage stuff too, but this idea that the Bible says that you, you value your spouse of your kids, this idea that that means you disinherit your son. No, no, no, no. This, this is all going to fall under the same umbrella that Rachel's going to advise you on, on y'all being on the same page. And it doesn't matter if the kids are coming in from previous relationships or not. But no, under no scenario are you going to disavow or as you're saying, disinherit your son. That's not part of the equation. And if that's part of the conversation, it's not healthy. And you did the right thing by walking.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah. And Karina, for you as a mom, because I can only imagine the sacrifices that you made when he was little. And that's where a lot of this emotion is coming from. And so I feel like I would kind of challenge you to say, you know, this is a symbol, this house is a symbol of your Hard work. You feeling guilty? Probably a level of mom guilt of leaving your son when he was younger. And it's excruciating. You know, when I was to leave my kids, I had a 4 year old crying in the garage when I pulled out to come do this show. Like it's, it's not, it's not fun like it is, it is hard as a mom for those working and that you're like, oh. And so you as a single mom especially went through so much, Karina, so much in order to have this. But I, I would, I would just challenge you. Not that this would change your decision, but I want you to, if you can separate this house and what you did for your son and the relationship you have with your son, this house has become a symbol. And I don't want it to be the make or break breaking point for you in the future with relationships. And I, and I understand that it's to protect this for your son. But just as a mom, I don't want you to carry that burden of still feeling like I have to, I have to make up for what I did. Because Karina, you did what you had to do. You were a single mom and that's, that was the situation you were in. And so that you were not a bad mom for doing this. So giving your house a son or not giving your, your son a house or not, does it make you a good or bad mom? So I want you to kind of separate that language in your head because I feel like that's twisted into this decision. Does that make sense? Yes, because I applaud you for being so protective of it. Because again, I hear what you walk through with it, so it makes sense. But I also don't want this house to be this symbol of what I did. And I feel bad. And now I have to make it up to my son. Because you know what your son wants, Karina? He wants you. And, and, and if he wants his mom to be happy. If this man that you love, your, your, Your ex fiance, you know, if there, if, if that is a relationship that is good for you and it is healthy and you guys can find the way to, to reconcile these two things or this thing of the inheritance, which is a big deal, but, but also at the end of the day, like there's a point too of companionship and love in a marriage.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, that's the question I have, Karina. And pardon me for I was trying to listen. Are you guys on the same page with debt and everything else, or is there also Some. Some. Some separation in the way he sees money and debt and all that stuff, because you've done everything the right way. Where are you guys on the rest of the stuff? The rest of the money stuff?

[Ken Coleman]

He. He's good with money, and, yeah, he's very smart with money. And I don't think there. There's an issue there. I think it's just more about combining. Combining households, and, you know, is he.

[Dave Ramsey]

On the same page with you? Right. But let me ask you this. Is he on the same page in relation to debt? That's yes or no?

[Ken Coleman]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Is he. Is he also on the same page that when we come together as a married couple, we combine our finances?

[Ken Coleman]

Yes. He. He is more for that than me. He said that we should combine everything, and at the end of the day, we just split it up. Like, when we both pass away, we just split it up evenly between all our kids.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. All right.

[Ken Coleman]

All right. So I'm the one that's kind of, like, selfish because I'm. I'm like, I'm bringing in more, and he has two kids, and I have one kid.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. But Rachel's right. I hope you heard Rachel. I'm telling you, she's right. So I. I got to tell you, I'm taking a little bit different tack here. I think you guys need to have a nice dinner, and I think you guys need to sit down and get this hashed out and say what really matters, and let's look at the big picture, and you're gonna have to let go of some stuff. I love Rachel's advice there. I don't know. I want to see her. I want to see her give this a chance.

[Rachel Cruz]

I know, because I feel like this.

[Dave Ramsey]

Is just about the investment through the Internet.

[Rachel Cruz]

It becomes this thing, and we don't want our stuff to own us. And at that point, it's owning a part of you for good reason. I understand it. But I want you to have freedom from that, and I think it's attached to that mom guilt, Karina, that I really want you to think through. So thank you for calling. I hope that helps, and I hope you guys can go the way that you need to go, whether it's together or separate. Thanks for calling.

[Dave Ramsey]

I've been doing this show for over 30 years, and some of the saddest calls I have taken are from situations that are completely preventable.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah. And what's so hard is I feel like one of those, especially the ones that I'm like, oh, it's terrible air people that call in and their spouse has passed away suddenly and they don't have life insurance. When you have to think through how am I going to pay my bills.

[Dave Ramsey]

How are you next week?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah. In the middle of all that grief, like, it's just, it is, it's terrible. So life insurance is the one thing, especially as a mom with three little kids that I'm like so big on for people to get because it's inexpensive. Zander is the place that Winston and I actually get all of our life insurance.

[Dave Ramsey]

And it doesn't cost much because Zander shops among a gazillion different companies. It doesn't cost much. You just have to admit that someday you're not going to be here.

[Rachel Cruz]

You got to say it out loud.

[Dave Ramsey]

And you got to say, I'm going to say I love you to my family by taking care of them and taking the time to put this stuff in place. The cost of stinking pizza. To get a Free quote, Call 800-356-4282. That's 800-356-4282. Or go to Zander. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show. Excited to have you with us. I'm Ken Coleman and the graceful Rachel Cruz is alongside today. Yeah, I know. I'm trying to look for another adjective. So how about that?

[Rachel Cruz]

I'll take graceful.

[Dave Ramsey]

Take it. All right. Very nice. Hey. Today's question of the day is brought to you by why Refi? Politicians make a lot of promises and sometimes they might even keep one or two. But if you're in over your head with private student loans, don't rely on the government. Contact Y Refi. Why Refi Refinances defaulted private student loans and gives you a low fixed rate loan built for you. Go to yrefi.comramsey today. That's the letter y r e f y.com ramsey. It may not be available in all states.

[Rachel Cruz]

All right. Today's question comes from Elizabeth. In Missouri, we have two elementary school age kids, 5 and 7. We budget for the kids to buy school to buy school lunch once a week. The school is cashless, so we add money to an account to be used for the kids to scan their ID card in the lunch line. In addition to the regular lunch, the school sells snacks at checkout. We have told the kids that they can get lunch but would have to pay us back from their piggy bank money for any extra treats that they buy. Initially, we thought this would be a good intro in teaching them about money management, but then realized that it's more like buying on a credit card and paying mom and dad back later. Are we teaching them that credit is okay with this plan in the cashless system where there's no tangible money to be exchanged, how else can we teach young kids about money management? Oh, that's funny. No, I don't think that's teaching them about debt. I'm like, they're.

[Dave Ramsey]

As long as the pain comes from the piggy bank, they're learning.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes, yes. And, and the reality is too, you know, you're teaching them about money management in 2024. I mean, there's a lot of.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, it's a good point.

[Rachel Cruz]

Cashless, you know, vendors and retailers, that it is what it is. So, so what do you, what are you going to do with that with your debit card and all? So, so yeah, that doesn't, yeah, that doesn't bother me.

[Dave Ramsey]

I think this is great actually, because treats at school is ground zero for kids learning to kind of be content. You're the queen of contentment over there. You know what I mean? Like, you think about it. That's where their greatest temptation. I know.

[Rachel Cruz]

Do you have a story? Felt. Well, this just felt close to home because we're. Our school is the exact same way. And there's an app, of course, that you go and you can load and use Apple pay to load the money back in the school lunches. All of it. And it turned. I didn't know this, this is back when my oldest was. This was a few years ago when I didn't know how everything worked. And one of my friends was like, you know, you can go back and look and see what all they've bought. And I was like, what? No.

[Dave Ramsey]

And sure enough, tracking little Amelia spending.

[Rachel Cruz]

Sure enough, there were treats upon treats upon treats. And I was like, sweet girls, I know, I just did a million. She was like, well, some of my friends wanted some. She was buying stuff for other kids. And I was like, no, no. So the teachers are great because when they're little like that, like first, second grade, you can email them and even tell the teacher, hey, they're only allowed a Fridays and they kind of help, you know, manage it. But some of these kids, it wasn't always just Amelia, but some of these kids are bartering and hey, you pay me that and I'll get you. I mean they, they figure out how to work the system. Those little.

[Dave Ramsey]

Like an open air market overseas, you know? I like it. She wasn't buying treats for little Johnny, was she?

[Rachel Cruz]

Do it. Who's little Johnny?

[Dave Ramsey]

I don't Know I'm making it up.

[Rachel Cruz]

Oh, okay. I don't know. I don't think so.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right.

[Rachel Cruz]

That'd be Caroline, probably. Let's be honest.

[Dave Ramsey]

I love it. I love it. All right, let's go to Davenport, Iowa, where Daniel is. Daniel, how can we help today?

[Ken Coleman]

Hey, Ken. Hey, Rachel. How are you doing today?

[Dave Ramsey]

Good. What's going on?

[Ken Coleman]

So I'm wondering if I should stay with my current employer or if I should start looking for a different job.

[Dave Ramsey]

Tell me more. I gotta know more. Should we stay or should we go is the question.

[Ken Coleman]

So I am a husband and a father. I got three little girls, and I got another one due in about four and a half weeks.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow. Congratulations.

[Ken Coleman]

Thank you. All girls, I'll pray for you.

[Rachel Cruz]

Bless you.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, lots of prayers right now. So my current employer, I told them that my family is growing and what I'm making there just currently isn't cutting it. And just being professional, informed them I'm a trucker. So I informed them I'm getting my hazardous materials endorsement to get a job that pays me more money. A job where I can be home daily so I can be with my girls every night.

[Dave Ramsey]

Great.

[Ken Coleman]

This. They had no problem with that. They understood and. But then they asked me to wait about a couple days to a week later, saying that there could be a significant raise coming down the pipe because they did some third party research in our area and find out that their salary is pretty bottom of the barrel.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

So that was about four months, months ago. And I've been kind of politely pestering them, and they. There has been no raise thus far. And every time I ask about it, they just say, because it has to get shot up to corporate. And they say that corporate has not given them an answer thus far.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. So you're being stonewalled. So this was four months ago that they told you hang out for about four days or a week. So I love the fact that you have taken this into your own hands and getting that extra licensing. So when are you eligible to step into that role or driving those hazardous materials, which gets you the big raise and a better schedule?

[Ken Coleman]

Well, I've done. You have to get, like, fingerprint on this stuff through, like, the federal government and everything. I've done all that. I literally just have to go to the DMV and take the test. I've taken the test twice, but it's a very hard test and I missed it by four questions last time. So I just passed the test, get the endorsement, and I can walk onto these jobs.

[Dave Ramsey]

Go, but do not quit yet. We got a baby on the way, three girls at home, a lot of responsibilities. Do not leave this current employer until we have the other gig lined up. That's my clear cut advice on that. So let's go. Stop waiting for this current company, my friend. Daniel, the current company, they're not going to call you back. It's. It's. I remember in high school, you know, like I'd have some buddies. I always got the quick clue, Rachel. But I had some buddies who would ask a girl out about three or four times after the second. No, it's time to move on. You know, and, and they're not answering your question. They're kicking it up to corporate and I'm not even sure they're talking to anybody in corporate. So the sign is on the wall is what I'm getting at. It's time for you to take the next test. Let's get this thing done and let's move on.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, Now I'm only allowed one question, correct?

[Dave Ramsey]

No, I'm kidding.

[Ken Coleman]

Go ahead.

[Dave Ramsey]

When I say will allowed, I mean a smart.

[Ken Coleman]

This just takes care of my immediate. But I actually took your get clear assessment.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, great.

[Ken Coleman]

And so I just kind of wanted some guidance on that. Sure. I'll just tell you my purpose statement and got it memorized.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

But I was created to use my talents of instruct. I thought I had it memorized. My talents of communication, instruction and imagination to perform my passions of leadership, advising and performing to fulfill my mission of service by providing assistance and security.

[Dave Ramsey]

Gotcha. So what's coming off there for me is that's a lot of people, work people and ideas. Right. So when it's. When it's. There's some creativity in that. But mostly all of those answers were driving at you're good at people stuff and you enjoy people work. Correct?

[Ken Coleman]

Correct. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right. So at that point now, I mean, if you don't have the book, find the work you're wired to do. I'm going to give it to you. Do you have the book? Because you need some more coaching.

[Ken Coleman]

I actually currently have it checked out from the library.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, well, fantastic. I'm going to give it to you for free.

[Ken Coleman]

And from paycheck to purpose.

[Dave Ramsey]

Great. I'll give you both for free today. Christian, let's get this guy hooked up here in just a minute. We'll give you both for free. But here's what you've got to do. You. What you've got to do is take that purpose statement and you now look at that as a job description, okay? Because it's all laid out for you. So now you go, okay, if this is a job description for me, then where in my area, where in the world of work where I live are jobs open that allow me to do this? It's that simple. So you're not sitting around scratching your head. What am I supposed to do? So it's, it's. You're going to be doing people work. You talked about the imagination piece, the instruction piece. So that is a communicative. You have the communication, instruction and imagination that is you are going to be working with people, training them. The leadership thing popped up there, the advising thing popped up. So, you know, guide, instructor, coach, that's the type of thing you're looking for. But it may take some time to get into that. So I really like the path that we're on. Let's move into the hazardous materials right now. As soon as we can bump up that salary. New baby. Let's get everything stable there and then let's take the steps next to go into that work that you were absolutely wired to do. Hang on the line. Daniel, you're a good man. You've already got your sign. Your current company, they're not going to bring the race. Let's move on. Hang on the line. We'll get you those two books and I'll coach you through via the book. All right, quick break. She's Rachel Cruz. I'm Ken Coleman. This is the Ramsey Show. We'll be right back. This show is sponsored by Better Help. Hey, it's that time of year starting to get a little bit colder. It's getting a little bit dark earlier. And sometimes if you're like me, you just want to stay inside and get cozy. And for me, my perfect cozy night is me and all of my family piled under blankets watching a movie, sitting by the fire, maybe even reading a book. Listen, whatever your perfect night in looks like, sometimes therapy can feel a bit like that. A time when you can settle in, finally exhale, replenish your energy, and begin to take care of yourself. Therapy is a great way to bring yourself some comfort during the chaos and rush of the holiday season or any other time of year. Taking the time to pause and be mindful is one of the reasons I recommend BetterHelp. BetterHelp is 100% online therapy with licensed therapist. You can talk with your therapist just about anytime and just about anywhere so it's convenient for your schedule. Just fill out a short online survey to get matched with a therapist and you can switch therapists for no extra cost. Find comfort this December with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com Deloney to get 10 off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com Deloney welcome back to the Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman. I'm joined by Rachel Cruz. The phone number is 888-825-225-8888, 5225. We're here to answer your questions. Let's go to Jason who joins us now in Los Angeles, California. Jason, how can we help?

[Ken Coleman]

Hey, thanks for taking my call.

[Dave Ramsey]

Sure. What's going on today, Jason?

[Ken Coleman]

So I have, excuse me, I have a, sorry. I have a quinceanera that my daughter wants to plan and I don't know if you guys are from the other but quinceanera is pretty much like a sweet 16.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yep, yep.

[Ken Coleman]

We and I'm in a bit of a pickle as to whether I could or I should or if I could afford it or should I do it.

[Dave Ramsey]

How much is it going to cost?

[Ken Coleman]

So estimated is I'm estimating between 10 and 15,000. Wow.

[Dave Ramsey]

You got an itemized list on that?

[Ken Coleman]

No. Another detail on this is that I'm currently going through a divorce with her mother and this is kind of being planned by her and these are their crisis kind of or her prices as far as what they found. I'm just trying to see the problem is that I have just recently actually fully funded my six month emergency fund. But that takes into account any support that I pay her, my ex spouse. I don't know if technically I can dip into that. But it's an emergency fund and this is not an emergency.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, not only that you can't afford it. You're calling us ask the way that you're talking, we know you can't afford it. Am I right? You can't afford 10 to 15 expecting you.

[Rachel Cruz]

So they're planning like she's planning it. And they're going to expect you to foot the whole bill, not flip the whole bill.

[Ken Coleman]

Foot half she was asking for at the beginning of all these talks was half of it, half of 10, which was five. But I don't think that's realistic of what it would cost. I can, if I save up until the point of when this is supposed to happen, I could probably save about 4,000.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

But I'm just whether I should do this at this time in my life.

[Rachel Cruz]

Jason, do you have any other, do you have any other Debt, Jason?

[Ken Coleman]

No.

[Rachel Cruz]

Or any debt? No debt. Okay, but your fully funded emergency fund, how much do you make a year?

[Ken Coleman]

Overtime has been good this year, so it's about at 120.

[Rachel Cruz]

120. Okay, so here's my two things that I keep thinking as you're talking. Number one, how we define an emergency to actually dip into an emergency fund is when something is unexpected. So this doesn't really qualify because we know that she's going to be. Yeah. Is it, is it, is it 16 years old or is it 15?

[Ken Coleman]

It's 15.

[Rachel Cruz]

15.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay, so we knew she was gonna be turned 15. So it's not unexpected. Is it urgent? Do I have to do it like right now? Right now. Right now. Yeah, I guess. I guess urgent would somewhat qualify. And because there's a date there and is it necessary? Right. So these are the two things. So honestly, this whole thing, it does not check off all those boxes for me. So, no, it's technically not an emergency. So that's, that's one part of the discussion. The second part is that you could bring together some money, right? And let's just say. And pretend that it is 10,000. They want you to do five. You could say four. Could you take a thousand out of the emergency fund to get to the five? Sure. Like you could, right? I mean, it's not the end of the world. But my, my biggest problem with all of that, though, Jason, is that just like weddings, just like another party, just like vacations, anything, if you don't keep a strict budget and have a limit to what you're going to spend, it gets expensive, more expensive. I mean, a house, even when you build a house, same thing. Like the line continues to move. So, Jason, if you decide to do this and to save the 4,000 for her, which I think would be great, right? I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. Okay. Ken's not that happy about it. If you do it, though, there has to be very clear communication and boundaries with your future ex wife to say, and your daughter, I would bring her in on it and say, guys, this is what's going on. Here's what I will have for you. This is it. This is all I can do in good conscience and in good faith at where I am in life. This is what I have. Work with that, right? And you set the tone. You set the amount on what you can do, Jason, because if you tell them, sure, I'll do half, it's gonna go from 10 to 15 to 20. And there's gonna be no boundaries. So you have to set that boundary. Okay? Ken's dying over here.

[Dave Ramsey]

Dying. I'm dying. I agree with everything Rachel said. I just want to say this. I'm gonna try. I'm gonna. I'm gonna answer this as if I was in your shoes. And I don't. I don't know if there's any special features to this party, so I'm completely ignorant. But if my daughter Josie, who, by the way, turns 15 tomorrow, if she came to me and said, I want a big party and I've got a budget, I think it's going to be 10, I would ask for an itemized list. There's no way I'm even going to give 4, 5, 6 without seeing where. What are the specific. Where is. The where in the world is 10 grand going for a party for a bunch of 15 year olds. So I'm starting there. And so I would say that everything Rachel said is absolutely right. You give your number after they give you numbers, you don't just get, well, it's going to be 10, maybe 12, maybe 15. You give half. And you have to ask for specifics and have a real conversation with your daughter. And you're in a very tough situation now with the divorce, and now she's got two.

[Rachel Cruz]

And don't let the guilt. And don't let the guilt right over that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Just say, baby, here's the deal. Okay? Give me your budget. What do you want for your party? Let's just walk through it. Let's teach her. This is a teaching moment to go, yeah, I'd like to drive a Lamborghini, but I can't. And so I know you want a $10,000 party, but guess what? Me and mom can't do a $10,000 party, but we can make it an amazing party. And this is how much money I can give towards an amazing party. I think that's the conversation. Well, it's not. I think that's exactly how I would talk it over with my daughter Josie. I'd get her wish list, get real numbers, and then how can I meet her expectations in a much more budget conscious way? I think that's where you start. It takes the pressure off because now you're dealing in reality. And. And then you go, look, babe, this is what I can do.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah. And this stuff, Jason and I know it's such a cultural part, right? Can see here, like, I know that. Yeah, it is. And. And I know, like, you know, and we. I remember we had a guy call. I think it was from India in the wedding that he wanted to spend was like half a million dollars. Right? So, like, I totally am aware that there are certain things culturally that the expectation is really big, but culture should.

[Dave Ramsey]

Never outrule common sense.

[Rachel Cruz]

But that's it, too. So I'm like, it's. And you could say that about the American culture, right? Weddings or whatever. Like, you could plug in other things. So you do have to. There's going to be multiple areas, Jason, within you that you're going to have to be like this. Oh, this is not. Doesn't feel right. It's not what I wanted. But part of being a grown up, too, Jason, is looking at the numbers, what Ken's saying, and it's like, here's just. Here's the reality. Here's the reality of what we have and what we can. And what I have and what I can do.

[Dave Ramsey]

So, coming back to you, Jason, you have a real number in your head that you feel like I can't afford. You feel like a guy who's in control of his money situation. You sound really stable. What's the number that you go, if I set it on fire for my daughter, it wouldn't bother me, Wouldn't give me a Maalox moment. What is that number?

[Ken Coleman]

Well, right now, the big thing that is heavy on me is that I haven't even gotten into my investing portion of my life for the future.

[Dave Ramsey]

I get that, but you didn't answer my question. What's the number that if, you know, I can give this money my daughter and I'm not going to lose sleep over it.

[Ken Coleman]

As of now, I would say maybe for something like this. 3,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, then.

[Ken Coleman]

Then.

[Dave Ramsey]

Now we've got a starting.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm trying to coach you through this, practically. You got a number where you go, yeah, I know you don't want to spend any money because you think you're behind. You're not. You're going to be fine on your investing. You got to weather this divorce. You got to figure out what the payments are going to be and all that. You're going to restart. Okay, but you're. Okay, but if the number's 3,000, we go, that's my baby girl. She wants this. I can give her three grand. Then let's start with that. Then go get the itemized list and let's see if we can, you know, get closer to it. That's what I'm trying to do is get you to a point where you don't let guilt run the day and make a Bad financial decision. And I think the 3000 is a common sense number. Would you agree?

[Ken Coleman]

I would say so, yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right.

[Rachel Cruz]

And your ex wife's not gonna like it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruz]

So prep for that. And your daughter may not like it.

[Dave Ramsey]

She don't like you right now anyway, so we're not losing that deal. I mean, I'm not trying to be insensitive, so I'm just keeping it real. What are you gonna do? Make her not want to be married to you more? I mean, we've already crossed that bridge. So you gotta stick to your guns, man. And get the itemized. Yeah. Jason, you're a good man. You're gonna be fine. It's gonna be a great party.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Rachel, by the way, will come do a dance or something. Send that request.

[Rachel Cruz]

Something 15 year old girls.

[Dave Ramsey]

That'll be great. You'll tell a story. This is the reimbursement. Remember the good old days of the Internet? Before it was a privacy nightmare filled with spammers, scammers, hackers and fraudsters. Simpler times. Now, I don't have a time machine, but I do have the next best thing. Delete me. Think of delete me as your online bodyguard, helping to protect you from the risks of online scams and data breaches. Here's how they do it. They scour the web to find and remove your data from these sketchy data broker websites. And this includes your name, your phone number, your email, your address, and more. And Deleteme will send you a detailed report of what they did and how much time they've saved you. And They've saved me 66 hours so far, which is more time I can spend trying to nail the wordle of the day on the first try. Deleteme has been around for over a decade and they now have over 100 million data removals. Which explains why they have a mountain of rave reviews and an A rating from the Better Business Bureau. It's been great for my family. And I love getting fewer targeted ads, fewer spam texts, and fewer creepy robocalls. So this holiday season, share peace of mind by gifting a delete me subscription to someone you love. Or even just like their individual. Plans start at just nine bucks a month, and you can sign up [e-mail] Ramsey for 20% off. That's joindeleteme.com Ramsey mortgage rates have dropped. So if you're thinking about buying a home in the next year, contact your local Churchill mortgage team right now. If you wait, more people will be in the market, competing for the same homes and potentially driving up prices. Churchill will help you do the math to be sure your budget is correct, making your home a blessing and helping you build lasting wealth. Learn [e-mail] Churchill Mortgage.com this is a paid advertisement in MLS ID 1591 in.

[Rachel Cruz]

Mlsconsumeraccess.Org Equal Housing Lender, 1749 Mallory Lane.

[Dave Ramsey]

Suite 100, Brentwood, Tennessee, 37027. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show. Thrilled to have you with us. 888-255-225 is the number to jump in triple 882-55-5225. I'm Ken Coleman. Rachel Cruz joins me this hour. Let's go to Preston, who joins us now in Dallas, Texas. Preston, how can we help?

[Ken Coleman]

Hey, how's it going, Ken? Thank you. Thank you all for having me this morning.

[Dave Ramsey]

Sure.

[Ken Coleman]

I, you know, I'm a married guy with three kids. We got a good income of about 185, 190,000 a year. But it seems like we are hemorrhaging money through our miscellaneous budget item and our food item. You know, we've got one car loan. We've got about $12,000 left on that. I've got some medical debt. We had a child this year. So we've got about $6,000 there. And then we've got just some student loans left over that amount to about 4,500 and then a mortgage that's about 200,000 left. So total debt is about $222,000. We make, you know, 185, 190. And it feels like at the end of the month we just have nothing left. I really just kind of wanted to get some insight on what should a family spend, you know, monthly in a miscellaneous item, maybe in the food budget. But we are just spending pretty much what we earn. And, you know, we've gone up in salaries over the last five years tremendously. We've doubled what we make, but we're still spending everything we make. And so I cannot figure out how to get over that hump.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, it's that it's the classic lifestyle creep. Right. It's just a little bit here and there. And over time that starts to become your norm. And then you just add a little bit more. Add a little bit more. And then you look up and you're. Exactly. Yeah. What you're saying, Preston, are you guys doing a very detailed budget?

[Ken Coleman]

Very detailed? I am in accounting, which is kind of ironic that I'm not good at accounting for my Own expenses. Expenses. But, you know, we, we set a food budget of, let's say, 1500 to 2000amonth. And then you sit there and go, hey, we just spent $3,000 on food. And you sit there and go, how are we doing that? Well, as George would. Would like to not hear, we eat out all the dang time.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, that's it.

[Ken Coleman]

I mean, yeah, yeah, let's just. Let's go out to eat a teasier.

[Rachel Cruz]

I know.

[Ken Coleman]

And we all know that. That we're going to spend way more there than we do eating at home, but.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yep.

[Ken Coleman]

It's really just frustrating to be.

[Rachel Cruz]

Well, there's no. That's what's hard about this, Preston, is with personal finance, we always say it's. It's 80% behavior, it's 20% head knowledge. So you have the head knowledge of the numbers down with the budget of, here's what we're going to do. But then you guys are not living on the plan that you've created. You're going over $1,000 in food. You're throwing, you know, few hundred bucks here or there throughout the month on all this other stuff. And so when you, when you realize that it's more of a discipline problem with you guys and the choices that you're making in everyday expenses, it is, It's. It's sucking the. The life out of. Out of y'all. What I would do, Preston, I would challenge you guys to say, and, you know, if you hold on the line, I'm going to give you the premium version of EveryDollar, because I think EveryDollar is one of the most helpful budgeting tools because it's going to be able to connect to your bank and you're going to be able to really be able to see in the way they do the paycheck planning and everything. It's just, it's a, it's a really well easy thing to see. And your wife can have the same login. So you guys both have the app on your phone. And I would practice, Preston, acting like you guys make 80.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruz]

Act like you're, like you're making 80 grand and do a budget off of that and just see what, see what happens. Say, okay, we. Then that means we have to way cut back here. That means these, you know, 18 subscriptions we're paying for, we can't do that. That means maybe the kids that are doing the fun little gym classes every two days a week, they're not going to do that anymore. Like, you will have to cut back Because I want you to take that 80 grand or more, quote unquote. I'm kind of just using a random number, but I want you paying off the student loan, the car loan. I mean, all these loans that you guys have besides your mortgage, you guys could get this knocked out so quickly. And what I love about this, we always just call it gazelle intense because it is deep sacrifice. You are running like your hair's on fire, and it's like it is scorched earth. It's like we're doing nothing. We're doing nothing, and we're cutting back. And so that means maybe even cutting back more than 80. I was just saying, as a fun mathematical game on the budget, just look to see what you would cut. Start there, and then I would trim back as as much as you guys can, Preston, Because I want you guys to feel progress with your money, and it feels like you're spinning your wheels. You got all this debt hanging around. You're living still paycheck to paycheck, and there's been no progress. And so in order to get these wins, like, there's some stuff in lifestyle that you will cut and it'll hurt. It will not be fun. And I know with a new baby, it's like you guys are all exhausted. I get it. But this is the time to do it, to buckle down and say, it's now or never. It's for a short period of time. Because then when all that's gone, Preston, I mean, how much is going out and payments for this debt per month, besides your mortgage, do you have that? How much is going out just to debt?

[Ken Coleman]

I do. So for our medical debt, we actually. We've got a high deductible insurance plan, so we've got an HSA that I've got that set up to wipe that out in the year to where, you know, that doesn't hang around, so that's automatically off the top. And then we've got my wife's car loan that we pay about 2,500amonth on it.

[Rachel Cruz]

Holy crap. What kind of car is it?

[Ken Coleman]

You're taking some chunks at this.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, you're paying extra.

[Rachel Cruz]

You're paying extra.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, okay.

[Ken Coleman]

Payment's only 500 bucks.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay. Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

But you sit there and go, I think we've got more in the budget. But, you know, we just. Once we get to the end of the month to make an extra payment, it's not there, and it's just super frustrating.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah. I mean, it's because you're living, like you're making 190 and spending everything.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

So let's.

[Dave Ramsey]

Let's just look at this. What's your. What's the smallest debt that you have?

[Ken Coleman]

That'd be the. The student loans. You know, we've got three of them for the Sallie Mae loans, but they total about 4,500 bucks.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay, so instead of focusing on the $12,000 car loan, focus on the student loan and go ahead and just get that knocked out.

[Dave Ramsey]

So what's the payment? What's the minimum payment on the student loan? Right now, the three of them together. If they're all a bunch, and that's.

[Ken Coleman]

The bad deal is you all know they're in forbearance, so we haven't even been paying on them. We've been just chunking at her car loan. And I know that's not what baby step two is for. That intimidating.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, here's the point I'm trying to make. If you stay with us, if you stay with us and you work this plan, you guys cut. First of all, you need to stop eating out. Like, no, more like you guys got to stop.

[Rachel Cruz]

You got to get turkey sandwiches at night, get do eggs and bacon for dinner. I mean, like, you can do cheap meals right for a season. It's not forever.

[Dave Ramsey]

You're account. You're an accountant. Your issue is not the numbers. The issue is the behavior. And if you guys try it for one month and go, you know what?

[Rachel Cruz]

We're all in.

[Dave Ramsey]

We're not going to eat out one time at all just to see how much money you can save extra. And the point is, we knock out the student loans, then we knock out the car pay, and all of a sudden, you've got more margin than you realize. Here's the. I know you're discouraged, but you've got more margin in that budget than you realize. But you've got to change your spending habits. And if you do that and if we can get some extra income, we sell some stuff in this debt snowball, whatever we got, we can find margin pretty quickly. As detailed as you are grasping the numbers, you and your wife have got to sit down and go, if we do this, and then we do this, and we do this like crazy for the next 612 months, here's how much progress we'll make. And all of a sudden you go, oh, this is doable. I think you're just discouraged right now.

[Rachel Cruz]

And Preston, with. With. I'll add on that for Ken, because this is always helpful for me. Whenever we're doing a Big goal. So whether for you it's getting out of debt or, you know, saving up for something, look at the timeframe, run the numbers, like what we're saying, and just know and say, okay, we are confident. You know, it's July right now, so we are confident, you know, by dang, Christmas, we're gonna be. We're gonna do it from now till Christmas. It's just. It's go time. I mean, or whatever the date is. But have that date because that gives you the. The light at the end of the tunnel that you're not gonna, like, live in this world forever and ever. Amen. You can actually enjoy what you're working, but you're not enjoying your money now because, again, I think so much of it is this debt and so much of it is that lifestyle. Because once you guys pay this off, do you have any savings at all, Preston? Do you guys have cash in the bank?

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, we have some, but not enough to cover any of it.

[Rachel Cruz]

How much?

[Ken Coleman]

We've got our emergency fund just to start. Emergency fund.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so you got a thousand dollars? That's where you're at?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Can you sell your wife's car? We're running out of time, but I mean, you got to look at everything, man. Selling cars, everything. You know, you're going to reduce your monthly payments and increase your income. So for you, my friend, I know you're an accountant, but there's a lot of gig work right now for accountants. I'd be working 60, 80 hours a week doing accounting work because you can get paid very well for freelance work. Income goes up, expenses go down to this. Talk quick, like, get out after it, and then you'll see some breathing room. And then you realize, okay, we can stay the course. Thanks for the call. You'll get there, Preston. This is the Ramsey Show. Between Christmas shopping and holiday get togethers, investing might be the last thing on your mind. But there are certain things you might need to take care of before the year ends. And you don't have to do it alone. The SmartVestor program can connect you with a financial advisor near you. Whether you've got questions about retirement planning, required distributions, or anything in between, a SmartVestor Pro will walk you through what you need to know. Head to ramseysolutions.com smartvestor to get connected.

[Rachel Cruz]

Ramsey Solutions is a paid non client promoter of participating pros. Learn [e-mail] SmartVestor.

[Dave Ramsey]

Welcome back to the Ramsey Show. Thrilled to have you with us. I'm Ken Coleman. Rachel Cruz Joins me as we are here taking your calls. 888-825-5225. We're talking about your life, whether that's your money situation, your work situation. We are here to help today. Let's go to Ogden, Utah. Connor is there. Connor, how can we help?

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, thank you for taking my call. So my wife and I are about ready to move out of our home. We have a little daughter and. And we're outgrowing it. So I've been looking at our options. And because my parents are so generous and we've been so blessed, they told us about a week ago that they're going to be giving all their kids an inheritance early so they could watch them spend it. And the inheritance is about $300,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruz]

That's awesome.

[Ken Coleman]

And so that opens up a lot of options for us. We have been kind of weighing it in our heads and one of the things is our current home is in a college town. And we've been thinking about maybe just paying that off with 100,000 or 115,000 is what we owe on it still, and then renting it out and then using the other 200,000 as a down payment to our next house, which would get us a comfortable house payment. But the other option is we thought maybe we would just sell this house now and take the 200,000 in equity and put it towards our next down payment along with 300,000 or whatever to basically buy our next house in cash and not have a house payment. So we're just trying to figure out between those two options, what would you. Maybe there's another option that I'm not thinking about either that you can fill me in on.

[Rachel Cruz]

No, not off the top of my head of what you guys want to do. I mean, I think this is a really smart move and I think a beautiful way to honor your parents and the. The legacy and the inheritance that they're giving you. I'm sure they would appreciate seeing this versus taking 18 trips around the world or something. I mean, I don't know. There's something about it that is like, oh, there's like a stability. It's an investment. Which way are you leaning all that?

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm curious to know. Are you two leaning the same way? One of you leaning one way, one leaning the other?

[Ken Coleman]

My wife is leaning a little bit towards the renting. And I'm kind of honestly in the middle. I could see it either way. I like the idea of having the extra stream of income coming in every single month, but there's also that feeling of just not having any debt at all with our next home.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

Just being free and clear.

[Rachel Cruz]

Connor, do y'all want to be landlords? Like the idea of an investment property sounds like, oh, that sounds great. And yes, there's passive income and I come from a real estate family. My husband loves real estate. So like, I get it. But because of that, I also know all of the work that goes in. And then you said Collegetown, that I'm sure you can find the great group of college students to rent it out, but you're also renting it out to college students, so. Or possibly you could obviously not do that. But I mean, the landlord thing, it's, that's not just a. Oh, yeah, that's cool and fun. I mean, it ends up kind of being a part time job. And if you're working full time, I'll be honest, it may land into your wife's lap of her having to go and fix the sink brakes. And they, you know, like it's, it's a, it's a thing too. So I just want you guys to keep in mind. So it is a great, a great way to have passive income. But if I were you, I would just be free and clear. And then if you guys want to save up because you won't have a mortgage if you just sold it and, and then paid cash for your primary residence. Yeah, I mean that's, that's phenomenal. Then you could save up a lot. And if you guys chose to go into real estate investing, then, then you could and start small. Maybe even a different location.

[Ken Coleman]

Right?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Like so, so fun little exercise. How much do you think you could get per month for that house in the college town if you paid it off with some of this inheritance? How much?

[Ken Coleman]

13, 50 is about what the rent would be.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so again, you know, what's that going to end up being? 18, $19,000, $20,000? I'm not really great at math, but somewhere in that range, right? 15, 16, something like. So you have to sit there with your wife and okay, here's the income that this would spit off. But that doesn't include the expenses, which Rachel was touching. It's not going to be free and clear. 15 to $18,000.

[Rachel Cruz]

You have to replace carpet in three years. You're going to probably repaint the wall. I mean, it's just.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, I think that's a. I learned that one from George. I was with George. George Camel threw that at a caller the other day. I was like, that's A really good exercise, because it's like, is it worth.

[Rachel Cruz]

Is it worth all the work?

[Dave Ramsey]

Let's just call it net, just for easy numbers. $14,000 a year. You're gonna have expenses. You're just going to. And you got all of this for 14 grand. And to Rachel's point, like, what's the trade off on, like, a huge down payment or buying. Buying a house cash, you know, in this point in your marriage. So I'd get rid of the house, too. I really would. It's just. But, I mean, you got to sit down with your wife and cast.

[Rachel Cruz]

And there's not. I don't think there's a wrong answer here.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's correct.

[Rachel Cruz]

Something. Because one of them's gonna be paid off. If you were gonna still have debt on it and debt on a primary residence, I would tell you to get rid of it, hands down. But for it being paid off, there's not. Yeah. It's not right or wrong. It's just truly where you guys want to put your time and your effort. You know, if it's. If it's my dad or my husband, they're probably gonna keep it because they love real estate, and they're like, oh, it is worth it because of. You know, they just. It's part of what they love. But to me, I'm like. And to call it. Oh, man. I just remember the. I remember renting a house in college.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, I know.

[Rachel Cruz]

Winston lived with, like, six guys in a rental house.

[Dave Ramsey]

It was disgusting. I'm already disgusting.

[Rachel Cruz]

It was terrible.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, yeah. Parties, terrible games and all that kind of stuff.

[Rachel Cruz]

We were good renters, though. My group of. My. My group of friends. We were very clean. We. We took care of that house. I was an old soul. Yeah, well, in the college days.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, I think you're still an old soul. Not as old as me, though, apparently.

[Rachel Cruz]

With my little phrases north of the border.

[Dave Ramsey]

Melissa's up in Chattanooga, Tennessee. Don't get me started on Chattanooga Melissa. How can we help?

[Rachel Cruz]

Hi, Rachel. Hi, Ken.

[Ken Coleman]

It is a pleasure to speak with you today. I'm so grateful I'm in a situation now. I have a possible fork in my career path, and I'm hoping you can kind of help me unpack it a little bit.

[Dave Ramsey]

Sure.

[Ken Coleman]

So what's going on? I had my quarterly check in with my supervisor today. Now, kind of a backstory. We work for a big company who has two retail locations. I work for the smaller of the two, and it's quite a bit smaller. I manage.

[Rachel Cruz]

I oversee it, and I have three.

[Ken Coleman]

Teammates who work for me. So we've been working really, really hard for a few now, even through Covid and all of that on expanding, growing, providing more service for people. And what's the point where the company or the building that we rent, we have possibly having our lease being bought out by somebody else who shares the building now we're not in a position where we can rent a new location. We've got a really sweet deal with this building. So what it sounds like I've got probably a 60 to 75% chance that we are going to close my location and we're going to be absorbed into the bigger location. My teammates will blend just fine. The thing that we run into is my position. My director is super awesome, super supportive, and really thinks that there is a path of progression for me to take her position. As she plans to exit the company in the next two to three years, I'm not so confident that I'm also kind of interested. I think maybe it would be a huge leap from assistant manager to director, but I'm just not sure what. What I want to think right now.

[Dave Ramsey]

So what would be. Yeah, I get it. So what would the interim look like? So if they shut this down, the smaller location where you're in a manager position and. And then you go to the bigger location, you're underneath that director, what role are you in? Are you making the same amount of money?

[Ken Coleman]

And we just started discussing that it would be a new role created for me, sort of a GM in training.

[Rachel Cruz]

Along with whatever else. Will I actually get a legit paycheck.

[Ken Coleman]

With a legit job at the other location while I'm training and helping helping business grow, but also learning the ropes? Could be a director over there.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. If you knew that the path was two to three years, it was guaranteed you were going to replace her, would you be on the phone with us?

[Ken Coleman]

I'm pretty sure it could happen. I'm just not sure if it's the right choice for me.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's what I'm asking. Okay. So. So, yeah. Okay. So you're not sure if that's the long term play for you, and I love that. So how soon is a decision going to be made where you're going to have to choose? I've got about 30 seconds, so give me the quick answer.

[Ken Coleman]

We're looking at probably end of year. We'll know what's going to happen with the lease.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right, so here's what I would.

[Ken Coleman]

Decide if I'm staying or going.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right, so here's what I would do. I would spend time right now thinking about your long term future, knowing that you have a safe option to at least take this for the interim while you still figure this out. Okay? So I just want you to breathe, stay with the company until you figure it out long term. Hang on the line. Let's get you an assessment, the get clear career assessment. I'll give that to you, a link and a code. I want you to take that as you consider long term, what your options are. But I'm glad you're stable right now. Thank you for the call. This is the Ramsey Show. A new year is here and everyone's started making their list of I wants for the year. I want to get out of debt, I want to lose weight, I want to make more money. But that's where most people stop. The problem is without a plan, those are just wishes. Most of us set goals with the best of intentions but have zero follow through. Real goals require a plan. That's why if you want to see real change with your money this year, you've got to get on a budget. With our Every dollar budgeting app, you'll make a plan for your money and get your spending under control so you actually make progress towards your goals this year. Don't just wish for things to change with your money. Download everydollar for free and start budgeting today. Hey, Dave Ramsey here. Dr. John DeLoney and I are coming to a city near you on the money and Relationships tour. You the audience will vote to choose the topics. We talk about things that impact your life like investing in your future money, stress in marriage and more. We're coming to Louisville, Durham, Atlanta, Kansas City, Fort Worth and Phoenix in April and May. 2025 Tick are at their lowest price right now. Grab [e-mail] tour. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show. I'm Ken Coleman joined by Rachel Cruz. Thrilled you are with us. The phone number to jump in is, is, 882-55-5225. That's, triple 882-55-225. Levi joins us next in Reno, Nevada. Levi, how can we help?

[Ken Coleman]

How are you all doing today?

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, we're having a blast. Levi, what's up?

[Ken Coleman]

I want to say thank you. First off started listening to you guys about six months ago and it's, it's really made an impact.

[Rachel Cruz]

Awesome.

[Ken Coleman]

Actually just started binging yours. Looking to change career soon. But my question.

[Dave Ramsey]

Great.

[Ken Coleman]

So I've never been married and I've got a girl who I want to propose to. Where does that fall in the baby steps as far as buying a ring? And how much should someone spend? I just finished paying off all my debt last week, so.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow. Congratulations. How much did you pay off?

[Ken Coleman]

About. I'd say about 20,000 in six months.

[Dave Ramsey]

Nice.

[Rachel Cruz]

Levi.

[Dave Ramsey]

What would. What's your emergency fund gonna be? 3 or 6 months? 4 months, 5 months? And how much will that be?

[Ken Coleman]

Right now? It could be very little. I'm in a unique situation where I don't have rent, which is how I paid everything off so quick.

[Dave Ramsey]

Awesome.

[Ken Coleman]

But which rent? This area? 20,000 would be a good one.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. All right. How much are you thinking on the ring? We have Rachel here, which I feel like is an expert on this. When it comes to jewelry, she's the expert in the room.

[Rachel Cruz]

No, I think our rule of thumb is one month's salary.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh.

[Rachel Cruz]

Is what we. Is what you can use, is what we would recommend.

[Ken Coleman]

Oh, and where does that fall? As far as. Should I be focusing on getting that emergency fund before spending, you know, $3,000?

[Rachel Cruz]

It'd be nice to have some. But also, I'm like, we don't tell people to, like, stop the baby steps to get married and to do all this. So if you can do both at the same time, save some money for the emergency fund and then be saving on the side, too, for the ring.

[Dave Ramsey]

How long have you been dating?

[Rachel Cruz]

Would be ideal.

[Ken Coleman]

I've been with her for two and a half years. We actually lived together. And her elderly parents, who did not know anything about Ramsay, live with us.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, boy. That was a loaded chuckle. That was a loaded chuckle. What does that mean?

[Ken Coleman]

They. They had no money saved up. One of them actually needs to be in a nursing home. And all right now we can't afford it, so.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, so in all seriousness, now I'm assuming that. That she's going to say yes, right? You feel pretty confident we're going to get a yes out of this. Okay. Is there expectations for the parents to give you all to continue to live together and for you all to have to take care of them? That's a pretty heavy burden.

[Ken Coleman]

Yes. They. It's a package deal. She's from Guam. It's just kind of their culture.

[Dave Ramsey]

Got it. And you're. And you're all in on this?

[Ken Coleman]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. All right.

[Rachel Cruz]

That's great. Yeah. So, Levi, to answer your question, I would just. I would do both, but.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, now that I know what I know, Rachel, I'm going to tell him to wait, get the emergency fund fully funded. They're living together. I Mean, what, are we going to wait a couple more months? I'd wait and get the emergency fund.

[Rachel Cruz]

Well, Mike, you're basically married. You're playing married. So I want you married as soon as possible.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, I see. See what you're doing there?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, I'd go quicker. I. I would say. All right, save it up. Go. I mean, you got like a slush.

[Ken Coleman]

Fund in the budget.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yep. Yep. And just put some money aside. Yes. Well, you guys want a wedding or are you guys kind of low key with it and no big deal.

[Ken Coleman]

I'm definitely low key.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

She will want some kind of ceremony.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

I've never been married. She has been. Okay, so the ceremony is important, but yes, it is very inexpensive.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yep. That's great. So be cash flowing. That as well. And then once you guys get married, combining your incomes and all of this, and if you have anything left to build up the emergency funds, do that. But I would. I would. Yeah, I'd get married as soon as I would. I would get married.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. You guys know. Do you know where you're gonna get registered? He has no idea what I just had. Do you even know what that means?

[Ken Coleman]

I don't.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, that's so great. I knew it. Well, she can explain it to you. It's where married. That's where engaged couples, they. They go and they put their gifts together.

[Rachel Cruz]

Old man.

[Dave Ramsey]

I just think that's great.

[Rachel Cruz]

Get registered.

[Dave Ramsey]

I could tell. I think it's funny because Levi is so naive and I think that that's really great. He doesn't understand about all the stuff. He's about ready to get into.

[Rachel Cruz]

They're older. We got married young, so the registering was really, really exciting. The younger you are, I feel like the more exciting that stuff is.

[Dave Ramsey]

I just thought it was funny. I didn't. I did. Brought no redeeming value at all. I agree. Let's go to David in Fredericksburg, Virginia. David, how can we help?

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, I wanted your take on a reverse mortgage. I'll be turning 65 next year and getting tired of construction work, wondering if I could go part time and use a reverse mortgage that I can stay at a house that we had built for a few years longer.

[Rachel Cruz]

No, David, no. We do not recommend reverse reverse mortgages because it does exactly what it says. It puts you back in reverse. You guys are progressing, paying off your house and building this equity, and you're going to start right back over. And so it's. It is a product that is marketed to 60 plus. You know, whenever you look at any even Even. I mean, seriously.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, it's true.

[Rachel Cruz]

Seriously, David. Yes, it really is. I'm calling because it is. It's doing exactly what you are thinking. It's like, oh, that's kind of nice. I can pull back from work, all of that. And that it's not. It's not the way to go because you're gonna be losing equity in it. And, and it's. It's not smart. Not smart at all. So what, David, you said you're 64?

[Ken Coleman]

I'll be 65 in January.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay. Okay. And how much you guys have left on the mortgage?

[Ken Coleman]

We've got left on at about 180 and it's valued at almost 500.

[Rachel Cruz]

Oh, nice. You guys have any other debt?

[Ken Coleman]

Oh, yeah, yeah. We. We've had the land forever. We got about 20,000 in debt, paying off and going on vacation and running back up and then paying it off.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay, David. Okay. How much.

[Ken Coleman]

Listening to you guys has been a good sense.

[Rachel Cruz]

Good. How much do you guys make a year?

[Ken Coleman]

We make about 65,000 a year.

[Rachel Cruz]

65, okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

Is it all credit card debt?

[Ken Coleman]

Yes, well, yes, it is credit card.

[Rachel Cruz]

Debt, because here's the thing too, David.

[Ken Coleman]

And I might be. That might be high on the credit card debt. It's probably more like about 10,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, well, what's the other debt of the 20? What else do you owe?

[Ken Coleman]

Maybe some medical and the wife. We've been budgeting quite well, and so it's. It's something that we've learned over the years to try and keep a control on that spending beast.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay. And David, do you guys have anything in retirement?

[Ken Coleman]

About 30, $40,000.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

I've got some property that I'll be selling.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

At it for years and all means I'll start selling some of my heavy equipment that I've got that haven't been using.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay. So if you. So if you sell the land, liquidate property or liquidate the machines, everything, how much do you think you'll. You'll come out?

[Ken Coleman]

Probably close to 300,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, okay, nice.

[Rachel Cruz]

Because I'm just thinking of your retirement and you guys long term, because I know you probably want to pull back from working for sure. But these, the habits that you guys have been in. David, like you said, like, well, we go on vacation, we pay some stuff off, we go back. All this, this reverse mortgage, it's gonna just magnify the bad habits that you guys have created. So it's not gonna be good for you in any sense. It's not a great. It's a terrible situation in general, but also when you, when you guys are not, you're not being disciplined in it. And so I would, if I were you and your wife, I would sit down and really map out a plan and say, okay, we are 65 years old. We owe 180 still on the mortgage. You got $30,000 in retirement, $20,000 in debt, and it's time to really start cleaning this up. David. I mean, honestly, be paying off this debt as quickly as possible. You guys need some savings in the bank for an emergency fund. And then we're gonna start piling on retirement and whether that means selling the land early to get some money in. But I want to be able to map out, I want you to be able to map out a plan to get you to retirement. And reversing the mortgage doesn't do that. It gets you back into a horrible situation. You're not progressing forward when you do that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, great advice there. And hey, you still got time and you got some assets that you're going to be able to get a windfall of cash. So really dive into the baby steps. Really walk it out.

[Rachel Cruz]

Hey, David, hold on the line. Austin's going to pick up and give you guys a free trial to Financial Beach University. I want you and your wife to go through it.

[Dave Ramsey]

That'll do it for this hour of the Ramsey Show. Thank you so much for being with us.

[Ken Coleman]

What up?

[Dave Ramsey]

What up?

[Ken Coleman]

It's Dr. John DeLoney from the Dr.

[Dave Ramsey]

John DeLoney show with some amazing news. The latest episode of United States of Anxiety is available right now exclusively on.

[Ken Coleman]

The Ramsey Network app.

[Dave Ramsey]

This docu series follows real people from my show as they embark on a.

[Ken Coleman]

90 day journey to transform their lives.

[Dave Ramsey]

And I personally walk alongside them every step of the way. Okay, now here's a sneak peek of what the new episode is all about. And don't forget to click the link.

[Ken Coleman]

In the show notes to download the app.

[Dave Ramsey]

What's up, Kelsey?

[Ken Coleman]

So I've lived with crippling anxiety for as long as I can remember. How do I stop it from constantly coming up in different areas of my life?

[Dave Ramsey]

What does crippling anxiety mean? Paint me a picture of that. All right, so you ready to jump in?

[Ken Coleman]

I'm ready to jump in.

[Dave Ramsey]

So we're gonna check in with Kelsey. 30 days, 60 days, 90 days.

[Ken Coleman]

I cannot even function because I am just crying. My mom left us when I was 4. I truly felt like for a while I had no family.

[Dave Ramsey]

She's experiencing things that really hurt a long time ago. Tell me about this boy.

[Ken Coleman]

He triggers me a lot.

[Rachel Cruz]

Scared of losing Paul.

[Ken Coleman]

Scared of doing the wrong thing. Scared of not being enough.

[Dave Ramsey]

It just feels like it would be exhausting to be Kelsey.

[Ken Coleman]

It is.

[Dave Ramsey]

Whenever somebody's playing whack a mole with their anxiety, when it just keeps moving, that tells me the underlying system's not okay.

[Ken Coleman]

How do I get my inner child out of this relationship? Because I feel like she's running the show.

[Dave Ramsey]

One of two people that's supposed to never leave.

[Rachel Cruz]

I was this.

[Ken Coleman]

I was this burden.

[Dave Ramsey]

You're burdened. That's right. To the one person who should carry it.

[Ken Coleman]

All of it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Did you ever tell that little girl that it wasn't her fault?

[Ken Coleman]

I don't know what to do.

[Dave Ramsey]

You either have to choose to let this guy love you, or you gotta choose to let this guy go.