Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show – "Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future"

Episode Details:

• Title: Don’t Let Your Present Reality Define Your Future
• Host/Authors: Ramsey Network (George Camel & Dr. John Deloney)
• Release Date: March 13, 2025

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Introduction

In this compelling episode of The Ramsey Show, hosts George Camel and Dr. John Deloney engage with listeners tackling a range of financial and personal challenges. From family disputes over land to overwhelming student debt, the duo provides practical advice aimed at empowering individuals to overcome their current circumstances and build a prosperous future.

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Listener Call Summaries

1. Family Farm Dispute and Divorce Fallout – Jillian from Scranton, Pennsylvania [00:45-06:14]

   Issue: Jillian discovered that her parents sold the family farm to her sisters without informing her, leading to feelings of disrespect and betrayal. Additionally, jealousy stemming from her divorce plays a role in the strained family dynamics.

   Advice:

   • Acknowledge Feelings: Both hosts emphasize Jillian's right to feel upset over being excluded from the decision.
   • Move Forward: Dr. Deloney stresses the importance of not dwelling on past betrayals to avoid future misery.
   • Reconcile Relationships: Focus on repairing the relationship with her daughter and consider strategies to reconnect with her family.

   Notable Quotes:

   • Dr. John Deloney [02:25]: "All of this has happened, period. The question is, what are you going to do now?"
   • George Camel [05:04]: "Move to the future, man. Stop dwelling on this, because you're just going to be miserable in the present."

2. Student Loan Refinancing Concerns – Jade Warshaw [08:43-09:55]

   Issue: Jade and her husband are burdened with $280,000 in student loan debt. They have successfully managed to reduce their debt but are exploring refinancing options.

   Advice:

   • Consider Refinancing: George Camel recommends refinancing student loans through Laurel Road to potentially secure lower interest rates and reduce monthly payments.
   • Assess Eligibility: Ensure that refinancing makes sense for their financial situation before proceeding.

   Sponsor Mention: Laurel Road ([09:02-09:55])

3. Overwhelming Student Debt and Income Constraints – Lexi from New York City [10:16-19:45]

   Issue: Lexi is grappling with $230,000 in student loans while earning $54,000 annually. She contemplates whether to move to a lower-cost area to manage her debt more effectively.

   Advice:

   • Evaluate Living Costs: Dr. Deloney and George suggest relocating to areas with a lower cost of living to better manage debt.
   • Increase Income: Explore job opportunities that offer higher salaries in her field.
   • Debt Management: Prioritize paying off high-interest debts and avoid taking on additional financial burdens like mortgages.

   Notable Quotes:

   • Dr. John Deloney [16:01]: "You have a math problem, a very serious math problem. You owe $230,000 and you make $54,000. It's a catastrophic math problem."
   • George Camel [05:53]: "Move to a lower cost of living area. What's keeping you in New York City?"

   Sponsor Mention: Financial Peace University ([19:45])

4. Car Dealership Fraud – Jared from Brunswick, Georgia [22:16-27:21]

   Issue: Jared purchased a used vehicle from a dealership that sold him a car with a title issue due to mismatched mileage records. The dealership is failing to resolve the problem.

   Advice:

   • Seek Legal Action: Dr. Deloney advises Jared to consider hiring an attorney to address the fraudulent sale.
   • Demand Resolution: Return the vehicle to the dealership and insist on a replacement or refund.
   • Document Communication: Keep records of all interactions with the dealership for legal proceedings.

   Notable Quotes:

   • Dr. John Deloney [23:55]: "That's their job to track him down, not yours."
   • George Camel [25:01]: "You need to raise your hand and walk away."

5. Pausing Retirement to Pay Off Debt – Allie from Fort Worth, Texas [27:30-31:50]

   Issue: Allie and her husband are debating whether to pause their retirement contributions to accelerate debt repayment. They have $15,000 in vehicle loans and $10,000 in student loans, with Allie's grandmother planning to pay off part of her debt.

   Advice:

   • Prioritize Debt Repayment: Focus on eliminating high-interest debts first to reduce financial strain.
   • Balance Investments: Consider the long-term benefits of continuing retirement contributions while managing debt.
   • Evaluate Housing Costs: If possible, refinance or sell depreciating assets to free up funds for debt repayment.

   Notable Quotes:

   • Dr. John Deloney [28:07]: "You owe $230,000 and you make $54,000. It's a catastrophic math problem."
   • George Camel [29:33]: "Missing out on the thousand bucks a month is not going to make a dent when you guys are doubling that for the rest of your life."

6. High Debt and Housing Assistance – Eric from Atlanta, Georgia [53:33-58:55]

   Issue: Eric's daughter purchased a home with the intention to transfer ownership to Eric and his wife. However, they cannot afford the mortgage and are considering selling the home, which would disrupt their daughter's financial plans.

   Advice:

   • Sell the Property: George Camel recommends selling the house and relocating to a more affordable residence to prevent financial strain.
   • Avoid Financial Dependencies: Establish financial independence instead of relying on familial assistance.
   • Plan Future Purchases: Save for a down payment independently to secure a home without overextending financially.

   Notable Quotes:

   • George Camel [54:55]: "Why would she just gift you $70,000 just out of generosity?"
   • Dr. John Deloney [58:02]: "Go find somewhere you can afford to live and get rid of the debt."

7. Insurance Transition and Debt – Sydney from Portland, Oregon [59:32-63:55]

   Issue: Sydney and her husband canceled their Indexed Universal Life (IUL) insurance plans to switch to term life insurance. They are also concerned about disability coverage to protect their income.

   Advice:

   • Switch to Term Life Insurance: George Camel endorses moving from expensive IUL policies to more affordable term life insurance through Xander.
   • Acquire Disability Insurance: Consider long-term disability insurance to replace income in the event of an inability to work.
   • Build an Emergency Fund: Continue working on baby steps to eliminate debt and establish financial security.

   Notable Quotes:

   • George Camel [61:08]: "I love that y'all have that joint checking account."
   • Dr. John Deloney [62:16]: "I'm heartbroken for you. You're on a trajectory that this is going to end your current marriage."

   Sponsor Mention: Xander Insurance ([60:03-62:50])

8. Digital Envelope Budgeting Struggles – Matthew from Rhode Island [63:55-68:12]

   Issue: Matthew finds it challenging to implement the envelope budgeting system in a digital banking environment. He feels overwhelmed by managing multiple checking accounts and tracking expenses.

   Advice:

   • Simplify Accounts: Use a single joint checking account for all expenses and maintain one high-yield savings account for emergencies.
   • Utilize Digital Tools: Leverage budgeting software like EveryDollar to track transactions and allocate funds digitally.
   • Establish a Financial Buffer: Maintain a buffer in the checking account equivalent to your monthly expenses to manage cash flow effectively.

   Notable Quotes:

   • George Camel [66:04]: "The solution is track your transactions daily just once."
   • Dr. John Deloney [67:42]: "Having a buffer will definitely help you."

9. Wills, Custody, and Inheritance – Brittany from Wisconsin [68:23-73:55]

   Issue: Brittany wants to ensure her children are cared for and inherit assets independently. She questions whether a basic will through Mama Bear Legal Forms suffices for her needs.

   Advice:

   • Create a Will: George Camel and Dr. Deloney confirm that a basic will can designate guardians and distribute assets but recommend consulting an estate attorney for more complex arrangements.
   • Consider Trusts for Control: If Brittany desires more control over asset distribution or specific conditions, establishing a trust may be beneficial.
   • Separate Guardianship and Asset Management: Use a will to appoint guardians and consider setting up separate legal structures for inheritance management.

   Notable Quotes:

   • George Camel [72:56]: "And I think a will is a great start. You can talk to an estate attorney for more nuanced needs."
   • Dr. John Deloney [69:52]: "The will will allow you to name a guardian for your children."

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Conclusions and Key Takeaways

Throughout this episode, The Ramsey Show underscores the importance of:

• Open Communication: Transparent discussions about finances can prevent misunderstandings and foster stronger relationships.
• Debt Management: Prioritizing debt repayment, especially high-interest debts, is crucial for financial freedom.
• Smart Financial Decisions: Whether it's refinancing student loans, switching insurance policies, or simplifying budgeting systems, informed choices can significantly impact one's financial health.
• Legal Preparedness: Establishing wills and considering trusts are essential steps in safeguarding family interests and ensuring smooth asset distribution.
• Lifestyle Adjustments: Relocating to reduce living costs or reassessing financial commitments can alleviate debt burdens and enhance financial stability.

Final Notable Quotes:

• Dr. John Deloney [08:33]: "Every second that you choose to dwell on this is a choice for you to be miserable in the present and in the future."
• George Camel [72:56]: "If you don't have a will, let this be your wake-up call."

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This episode serves as a powerful reminder that regardless of current financial hardships, strategic planning, open dialogue, and proactive measures can reshape one's financial trajectory and secure a prosperous future.

Transcript

[George Camel]

Foreignsey Network. This is the Ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create amazing relationships. I'm George Camel, joined by Dr. John Deloney and we're taking your calls at 888825 5225. You jump in, we'll your life, your money, your relationships. Whatever is going on, we're going to put it out in front of everyone to help you take the right next step. Jillian is going to kick us off in the great city of Scranton, Pennsylvania. What's going on? Jillian?

[Caller]

Hi. Thanks for taking my call. Mine is not so much a money problem. My parents sold our family farm to my two oldest sisters without telling me, without telling anybody, without a conversation. I found out accidentally. I'm just wondering how do I deal with the lack of respect.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Oh, man. What's the story?

[Caller]

The farm has been in my family since 1852. It is totally my mother's farm. I understand that it is her choice to do with what she wants. I don't have a problem with that. I'm happy it's staying in the family.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I have a problem with it. I have a problem on your behalf.

[George Camel]

Sounds like she has a problem with you if she left you out of this. Why, thank you.

[Caller]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I didn't even have to say anything.

[George Camel]

You're welcome.

[Dr. John Deloney]

If my mom just gave the kitchen table to my sister without at least letting me know, I'd least be like, really right? I mean, like, that's a huge thing.

[George Camel]

You have a right to be upset.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah, be upset.

[Caller]

I'm not even supposed to know. Here's the kicker. I'm not supposed to know. There is no one who is supposed to know. I found out. Let me rephrase that. My son found out by accident. So I'm not. I'm really not upset. I'm glad it's staying in the family. I just. I'm upset because of the lack of conversation that she didn't trust me enough to have a conversation with her.

[Dr. John Deloney]

That's it. So there's a. You're right. Mom can do with mom stuff whatever she wants to do. And I'll also say this, I hear on this show of nightmare after nightmare of parents who have land and they just leave it all to all to the kids. Right? That's always a disaster too.

[Caller]

Well, they have the money to fund it now. My financial situation is different from my sisters. They have the money to take care of it, whereas my financial situation a little bit different. So I completely Understand? And I am not resentful of them for their wealth. I'm not resentful of my mother for hers. I'm very glad that they're going to take care of it. I'm just upset that she didn't trust me enough to have a conversation. Yeah, I don't ask her for money. I don't live with her. I don't.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. You don't have to qualify it. You don't. You don't have to go through a litany of reasons why you have permission to be heartbroken that your mom didn't even honor you enough with a. With a conversation.

[Caller]

Well, I know why she didn't, but.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Why?

[Caller]

She doesn't approve that I'm divorced. She does not approve of it at all.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Geez. Okay, what about your sister? Why didn't your sister sit down and say, hey, here's the deal.

[Caller]

Same reason they still have dinner with my ex husband, like, almost every other week.

[George Camel]

So you were excommunicated from the family post divorce.

[Dr. John Deloney]

That's a bigger thing going on here.

[Caller]

Yes, yes. You know that good old Catholicism. You know, an annulment. Chink. You know, I. When I got divorced, I didn't even care about an annulment. My ex husband went for the annulment. And let's just say the tribunal, if you've ever been through an annulment or know anything about it, it's not fun, it's not pretty.

[Dr. John Deloney]

No.

[Caller]

But here's the thing. I don't wish it on anyone.

[Dr. John Deloney]

This is. This is bigger than the farm. This is. I mean, your parents, your family's still having a relationship with your ex husband. So, like, there's a very real. They chose him over you.

[Caller]

Yes. Yes, they did.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay, so. So let's just stop there.

[George Camel]

Put the pain is that you have.

[Dr. John Deloney]

A right to be upset and sad.

[Caller]

Okay, you know what? I thought I was over because it was 10 years ago. I mean, the divorce. The divorce was 10 years ago and it wasn't pretty. I mean, he left. I won't even go into it, but it was just a nasty.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah, okay, let's put a period at the end of it. Let's don't go into it. How can I help you today?

[Caller]

No, I'm just. I just needed to know that I'm not.

[Dr. John Deloney]

You're not crazy. No.

[Caller]

And I'm not being gaslighted. Like it's not my own mind gaslighting me that I did something wrong here.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I mean, you might have, but it was 10 years ago. And adults, regulated, mature adults have hard conversations. And if your mother, she's allowed to do what she wants to do with her money and if she feels in her soul that you violated some sort of moral contract, that, that. So to the point that she's going to cut you out of 200 or 100 year old family property, fine. But yes, I agree with you that you're worth a conversation. Yeah.

[Caller]

That's all I was.

[Dr. John Deloney]

A cowardly aspect. There's a cowardly aspect to. I'm going to like, I'm going to do this thing, but then I'm not going to have the courage to be open and honest about my values. I'm going to do it under the table.

[Caller]

Right. I mean, my sisters, I can understand. We've never had the best relationship. So I understand where my sisters took a step back. I totally understand that.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I don't. But I'll trust you that you do. Here's the thing. All of this has happened, period. At the end of that sentence, the question that you have to answer is, what are you going to do now? And here's a hard truth I'm going to give you every second that you choose to dwell on this is a choice for you to be miserable in the present and in the future. This has happened.

[Caller]

Right.

[Dr. John Deloney]

And it's not cool. A betrayal. Whatever words you want to say, all those are real. Then the big question is, what are you going to do now?

[Caller]

Well, you know, the. I'm not upset for me, but I'm.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yes, you are. Yes, you are.

[Caller]

And be okay for my daughter because she loves this property, she loves this land she moved in with.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Is she not allowed to go on it?

[Caller]

She is. In fact, she's living with my parents. Like my daughter and I had an argument. My parents took her in. So.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay, so great. So let's, let's, like. I don't think you're being honest. I don't think you're being honest with yourself. You are upset and it's okay to be upset. And it may come a day when your sisters sell this to your daughter. That's a problem in the future that.

[George Camel]

You have no control over.

[Dr. John Deloney]

You have no control over it. Let's just exhale and say, I can feel my feelings. I'm allowed to be sad. And my daughter's living with my parents. I miss my daughter. Maybe you want to repair that relationship, et cetera, move on, on, on whatever. But let's stop trafficking in the. Here's the thing. They did. Yes. What they did was not cool. I'm all about having values, and I'm all about. I'm all about putting a stick in the ground. But an adult has a hard conversation if they're going to do something when it's related to values, period. Okay.

[Caller]

Right. Since they chose not to, I just, I ride then, like, say nothing to them.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I mean, I know, but what's it gonna, what's it gonna solve? They've already proven themselves what they think of you and your ability to have a conversation.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I mean, so they, they've, they behaviors, a language. You can clearly see what they think about your ability to have a hard conversation, and you've been able to see their character.

[Caller]

Correct.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay.

[Caller]

And I would say. I, I, I'm going to say it's my mother. It's not my father. I think he would have had that hard conversation because he's not afraid to.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Is he still alive?

[Caller]

Very much. One. Oh, yeah, he's very much.

[Dr. John Deloney]

He's not absolved of this either.

[Caller]

No, but it was always in my mother's name, like, it was never.

[Dr. John Deloney]

It doesn't matter.

[Caller]

She came into it.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Both parents can choose to have a hard conversation. And if one person in a marriage is doing something that lacks integrity, the other person can say, well, I'm gonna talk to my child. Correct.

[George Camel]

He was an accomplice in this.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah. Absolutely.

[Caller]

Right.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Yeah. He would have had to sign the papers.

[Dr. John Deloney]

So all this to say is, yes, you have a right to have your feelings hurt. And the question all of us need to ask whenever we find ourselves in hard moments like this, especially when we find out things happened in the past, is we're gonna grieve it. And then we're ask ourselves, what are we gonna do now? I'm gonna tell you. Move to the future, man. Stop dwelling on this, because you're just gonna be miserable in the present.

[George Camel]

This is the Ramsey Show. Hey, what's up, guys?

[Caller]

It's Jade Warshaw.

[George Camel]

And look, if there's anybody who knows student loan debt is a problem, it's.

[Caller]

Me, my husband, $280,000 of it. But we were able to dig ourselves out.

[George Camel]

And you can, too. If your student loan payment and interest rate are burying you, refinancing could be the solution.

[Caller]

Now, I recommend contacting my friends at Laurel Road today through their online application. You can get an initial rate quote.

[George Camel]

In less than five minutes.

[Caller]

And if you have a more complex situation, you can schedule 30 minutes to talk to an actual human being. Thank goodness Laurel Road makes it simple. There are no Fees invol and you.

[George Camel]

Could save thousands over the life of your loan.

[Caller]

Remember, you should only refinance if it makes sense in your situation. So if you're looking for a low.

[George Camel]

Rate or a shorter term so that you can pay off these student loans fast, talk to my friends at Laurel.

[Caller]

Road about their competitive interest rates and.

[George Camel]

How you could actually get a lower rate by signing up for autopay.

[Caller]

Listen, nobody's coming to save you from student loan debt.

[George Camel]

If you want them gone, you can't mess around. Go to LaurelRoad.com Ramsey to find out.

[Caller]

More about student loan refinancing.

[George Camel]

Again, that's LaurelRoad.com Ramsey. Laurel Road is a brand of Key Bank National Association. All credit products are subject to credit approval. Welcome back to the Ramsey Show. I'm George Camel here with Dr. John DeLoney. Lexi is up next in New York City. How can we help? Lexi?

[Caller]

Hi. Good. Good afternoon. I was just calling because I've come to the realization that I've made a lot of really bad financial decisions. For a while, I was blaming my parents and being upset about it, but I feel like I should also take accountability. Yay.

[George Camel]

It's a big day.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah. Welcome. Welcome to adulthood. That's awesome. We're proud of you.

[Caller]

Yes. I wanted to get some advice because I'm in a lot of debt and I've been working on paying them off, but I still feel like I'm kind of drowning. And my mom's currently asking me to help buy a house. And I don't know. Like, I don't. But I just.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah, I don't even know your financial situation. And a hard. No. Yeah. How bad is it? How much do you owe?

[Caller]

So I'm in about $230,000 worth of debts, and that's student loans and then some credit card debt. I did pay off one credit card recently, and I closed the account. I got that advice from your show. Now I'm just working on finishing paying off the other one.

[Dr. John Deloney]

$230,000 in student loans. Like, what are you, a doctor?

[Caller]

No, but that is what my dad wanted me to become, so he talked me into taking out the loans and staying in school.

[George Camel]

But what was the degree? And did you finish?

[Caller]

Yes, I got two degrees. I got an undergrad in public health, and then I got a master's in health administration.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Oh, geez.

[George Camel]

And are you working in that field?

[Caller]

I'm currently working as a care coordinator. I make about 54k a year.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah. Dude, you took out $230,000 for a mph. I mean, what's the highest possible money you could make as a public health administrator?

[Caller]

Probably like around 75, 80k a year.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Gosh.

[George Camel]

Oh, boy.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah. Are these private schools?

[Caller]

Yeah. Yeah, but the student loans are with like the government.

[Dr. John Deloney]

No, I know they are, but this is. This is a. Are you a first gen college student?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah. So there's the man. It's such a brutal trap where parents are like, no, no, no, no, no. My kid's gonna go to this fancy school, make me look good, and then they're gonna. Yeah, they're gonna be the.

[Caller]

They're gonna carry, my dad said. Because I had realized that freshman year and I was saying, I don't know if that.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Seems so excited about it that I got into a really, like, nice school.

[George Camel]

And all the loans are in your name, right?

[Caller]

Half of it is in my name and the other half is in my longest name.

[George Camel]

Plus loan or what? Like a she liable or.

[Caller]

Yes, the parent plus loan.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah, but she's hitting you up for money to buy a house and so she has no.

[Caller]

Well, not money. She wants me to put my name down for it because I have pretty good credit.

[Dr. John Deloney]

No, gosh, they. Hey, listen, they've. I say this with all love to your family. They have given you such horrific financial advice up till now. You've got to stop listening to them, okay? Like you. You've carried your dream as far as you can carry it, because now this is your nightmare. If you told me you owed 230 grand and you're. You were finishing up med school, you're finishing up nurse practitioner school, then I would be sad for you, but, man, there's a path. This is going to be really tough because even tapping, I mean, the highest possible paying job you could get as a public health official with a MPH master's in public health. Yeah, it's 75 or 85%.

[Caller]

So I have a master's in health administration. So I'm looking to go into like, administration and hospital management.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah. But then the federal government just announced they're. They're hacking all the NIH jobs and that's going to trickle down through administrative positions at hospitals.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah.

[George Camel]

I mean, you're living in New York City.

[Caller]

Yes.

[George Camel]

How are you surviving making 50 grand with 230 in loans in New York City?

[Caller]

Well, I'm currently renting out a bedroom and paying monthly rent.

[George Camel]

I think you need to move to a lower cost of living area. What's keeping you in New York City?

[Caller]

My family.

[George Camel]

Yeah, but what are they Doing, I mean, just to see them and hang out with them.

[Caller]

Because I have a chronic illness. So I originally did want to move out when I started college and go to a different state, but my mother didn't think that was a good idea because she was worried that.

[George Camel]

So are they helping take care of you? Are you working full time?

[Caller]

No, I'm still, I'm taking care of myself pretty well now. I take care of my own self. All of my medical stuff, I make my own appointments, go to them.

[George Camel]

Okay.

[Caller]

Pretty independent now is.

[George Camel]

If that's the case, then I would move. I find a job. If you can make 54k in Idaho, you're going to have a better shot at paying off these student loans in your lifetime. But New York City is not the place.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Here's the thing. You have run up against a hard truth. And this hard truth is math. And I know you want to honor your mom and dad by doing whatever they say and carry their dreams forward. I get that. And I know that's a hard thing that George and are asking you to do. And I know you want to stay in New York City and I know that you want to make sure that you don't make your mom stressed out with her worrying and all this stuff. You have a math problem, a very serious math problem. And that is you owe the United States government $230,000 and you make 50 a year. It's just a math problem and it's catastrophic. It's really tough.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dr. John Deloney]

And so you're going to have to get serious about where can I live, where my cost of living is as low as humanly possible and what job can I get? Can I find a rural hospital that will pay me a hundred grand to be an administrator at a small hospital so that I can get to paying this stuff off? I mean, you're going to have to think very radically and you might tell your parents, I'll be back in five years when these loans are gone. And God help you if you sign for a, if you sign for a mortgage or something like that. I mean, you just, you can't, you can't afford that. You know what I mean? Have you started having to make payments.

[Caller]

Yet for the student loan? Uh huh, Yes, I started making payments. I was on the SAFE program, but.

[Dr. John Deloney]

They'Re changing that, they're changing every program. And you don't know this, but we've been telling people for years, don't count on the federal government coming to your rescue on these loans because you never know what an administration's gonna do. And then here we go. We got a new administration that's cutting everything. And so. Yeah, man, Geez. I'm sorry.

[George Camel]

What is your take home pay every month?

[Caller]

About 2,800 to $3,000.

[George Camel]

And what's your student loan payment every month?

[Caller]

I was paying about like 100amonth on it, but then I had stopped.

[George Camel]

You know what that's gonna do, right? Your 230 grand is going to turn.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Into 300 grand because the interest still keeps cooking.

[George Camel]

The interest is higher than what you're able to pay.

[Caller]

They had. They put it. I forgot the term they had put it on, like something they said, like forbearance. You have to pay at the moment because I guess they were figuring out everything as things were changing.

[George Camel]

Well, you got to find out what's actually going on there because the interest can still be growing even though, hey, you don't need to pay. Don't worry about it. And the interest keeps growing while you sit there. And so that's the math for you to solve is I need to make the most money with the lowest living expenses possible. Because otherwise, even if you're able to pay a thousand bucks a month toward your debt, which, I don't know, you could even do, it would take you 20 years to pay off this debt. And that's if the balance didn't grow by a cent.

[Caller]

Okay.

[George Camel]

And so you're going to have to debt snowball this thing. But I don't want it to take 20 years. I think Lexi has a lot of.

[Caller]

Life with the credit cards. I've paid one off already.

[George Camel]

How many more do you have?

[Caller]

I just have one credit lesson. There's 1,400. Okay.

[George Camel]

And then what's your next smallest balance? If you split up all the loans.

[Dr. John Deloney]

No.

[Caller]

That said, and then the next thing I would have to tackle is just paying off the student loans. That's the only credit card I have left. I don't have any.

[George Camel]

Yeah, what's the. What's the smallest loan balance you have out of all the loans? I'm guessing they're split up amongst many loans.

[Caller]

Oh, no. I consolidated them.

[George Camel]

Oh, no. Oh, okay.

[Caller]

Because I had talked with another financial advisor.

[George Camel]

I think you need to stop talking to people.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Stop talking to people. Stop talking to people.

[Caller]

And yeah, I said it would be best to consolidate it all together instead of paying a bunch of different.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah, you got bad advice. I'm sorry. When two knuckleheads on a podcast that you don't even know are the only ones speaking truth to you. I'm sorry. I hate this for you. You're gonna have to go find some more jobs and you're gonna have to get radical about it. And you're gonna have to work multiple jobs. And there's. I mean, there's only one way to do this. You can't cut anything from your life. You're gonna have to just make more money.

[George Camel]

And if the debt's not in your name, I would not be worried about it right now. If it's in Mom's name, worry about that later. Focus on the ones that are in your name. All together, it sounds like that could have happened. Hang on the line. Lexi. I'm gonna send you a copy of my book, Breaking Free from Broke. I hope it gives you some encouragement along what might be a long journey.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Parents, stop asking your kids to mortgage your dreams.

[George Camel]

Statistics show that half of Americans don't have enough life insurance or they don't have any at all. I don't understand this, John. Why don't people want to take care of their family? They think they're not going to die or something.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Well, I used to be one of those guys. I didn't even think about it. And one of my buddies said, hey, the only reason to not have life insurance is if you hate your wife and kids. And I immediately went and got term life insurance.

[George Camel]

That's a gut punch.

[Dr. John Deloney]

For decades, Dave, I've sat across people who've lost a spouse. They've lost somebody important to them.

[George Camel]

Me, too.

[Dr. John Deloney]

They don't know what to do next.

[George Camel]

You're going to have a crisis here. You know, you got two options. While you're sitting and talking to a young widow, she's concerned about how she's going to invest all this money properly and not mess this up or she's concerned how she's going to eat tomorrow.

[Dr. John Deloney]

That's exactly.

[George Camel]

These are the two options. It's saying I love you to your family. Term life insurance. Jeff Zander and the team at Zander Insurance makes it easy and affordable. I've used them personally for 25 years. They're the only people I trust. Go to ZAND or call 800-356-4282.

[Dr. John Deloney]

This is the Ramsey Show, 888-255225. I'm John DeLoney, joined by George Camel. Listen, Dave Ramsey and I are going on the road and it is going to be as though my show and the Ramsey show had a kid without an edit button. That's gonna be amazing, dude. We're gonna be on stage Together, talking about money and relationships, everything from how to what's going on with our kids these days and how to. How to raise good kids, how to handle money the right way, how to deal with all the changes that are going economically in the 21st century, with money, with family, with kids, with marriages, how to make friends. All of this. We're gonna be talking about everything. So we're gonna be in Louisville on April 21, gonna be in Durham on April 23. Atlanta in the beautiful Fox Theater on April 25. Phoenix, May 5, Fort Worth. Yeehaw. My Texas brethren need to come out. It's gonna be 7th and Kansas City. We gotta right the wrongs that happened in Philadelphia a few months ago. And Dave and I are committed to doing that. We're gonna be in Kansas City on May 9th. So go to ramseysolutions.com tour or if you're checking this out on podcast or YouTube, you can click the link in the show notes. It's going to be wheels off. I cannot wait.

[George Camel]

Pumped for it. Let's go to the phones. Jared joins us in Brunswick, Georgia, up next. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Jared, how can we help?

[Caller]

Hey, y'all. Huge fan of the show. First off, just wanted to say that.

[George Camel]

Thanks, man.

[Caller]

I had a quick question. Yeah, of course. I had a quick question about a situation that I'm in with a car dealership. They sold me a vehicle that the state has now rejected the title on. So they did a little bit of digging for me, and they figured out that the guy who owned the truck before me, he did not put the right mileage down on or when he went to the dmv. So the mileage didn't match up with what the state was seeing on their end. So they rejected the title.

[Dr. John Deloney]

That is not your problem. That's the car dealership's problem.

[Caller]

That. That's what I, that's what I figured. And so my question today was they've kind of been trying to give me the run around and I've been calling them and I'm kind of just wondering when, when I need to put my foot down and say, like, all right.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Well, yesterday, yeah, yesterday. But today, yesterday.

[George Camel]

Okay, so what you need to, you need to have the title cleared. And so have you talked to the, you know, the DMV or the title office to understand what needs to be done to clear the title?

[Caller]

Yes, sir. So they need a wet signature from the guy who own the vehicle last. And Toyota has told me they can't get in touch with him because he's military.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Hold on. But this is Toyota's problem. I would get an attorney. I would. And I would walk. I would drive the car back to the dealership and say, you can give me another car that's exactly the same as this one. You can refund my money or my attorney's going to call you because you sold me a fraudulent car. Period. That is their job to go get.

[George Camel]

The title and they can get in touch with them. It's not going to take a pigeon carrying a piece of mail to get in touch with this guy.

[Dr. John Deloney]

That's right.

[George Camel]

They have all the information when they sell a car from this guy. And they can get in touch with him and they need to.

[Dr. John Deloney]

But it's their job to track him down, not yours.

[Caller]

Okay, great. Well, that answers my question then. Because really, I was just trying to figure out if I needed to get an attorney and get every.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yes.

[Caller]

Get everything straightened out.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yes. And I would go. I like to. I mean, before I'm going to sue somebody, I want to make sure I've given somebody an opportunity to do right. And so I would try. I would go back to the dealership. Was this a new car? No, I'm sorry, it wasn't. It was a used car. Okay.

[George Camel]

My question is, can you go to the DMV and request a corrected title?

[Dr. John Deloney]

Not without his signature. Is that right?

[Caller]

Not. Not without the signature.

[George Camel]

So you need that lien release. Yeah, yeah, that's right.

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Well, actually, the dealership needs that.

[Caller]

Yes, sir, that's right.

[George Camel]

They essentially illegally sold you a car.

[Dr. John Deloney]

That's right.

[Caller]

Okay. And so that's good to know because that gets me.

[George Camel]

If I'm in your shoes. Like, again, we're not lawyers, but I would contact one and go, hey, we need to put some heat on this to get this done, because right now you can't even drive the vehicle.

[Caller]

That's right. Yes, sir.

[George Camel]

So are you. Do you need to get to and from work? What's your situation right now?

[Caller]

I have a work truck that my company lets me drive.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay, well, I would take it. I would take it to the dealership today and I would say, here's what's going to happen. You're going to give me a new car right now, and you all going to deal with this. You're going to refund my entire purchase price, title and license and everything, and we're going to shake hands and pretend this never happened. Or I'm going to get my attorney and I'm going to sue you for the cost of this Car plus, because you sold me an illegal car.

[Caller]

Okay, can I follow up with another small question?

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah, sure.

[Caller]

So I know y'all are gonna go kick me for this, but I did finance it.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Of course you do.

[Caller]

We, we, we're, we're, we're done with those ways. We've been. I've been married for 10 months now and we're completely debt free. And we, we decided to get serious. Thank you.

[George Camel]

So it's paid off.

[Caller]

Motivation for sale. Absolutely.

[George Camel]

Okay.

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[Dr. John Deloney]

So maybe this is, maybe this is your gift. They, they're gonna, I guarantee you they're gonna, they're gonna figure out a way to get you another car and maybe they're gonna give you a 30 day loaner while they figure this out. Right?

[George Camel]

But you know, the, the silver lining is you're not paying payments on a car that you can't drive.

[Caller]

That's right. That's right.

[George Camel]

The lender doesn't get a rent.

[Dr. John Deloney]

How old are you?

[Caller]

Yes, sir, I'm 26.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay, this is, I'm saying this not as like looking down at you. I'm saying this as I've been in this. I've been in your seat before. Okay? This is one of those adult conversations. This is one of those like grown man conversations that you never thought you're gonna have. And here, here they are, right? Not by your hand, but in your lap, but some. Somebody did you wrong. And so I'm gonna, I'm gonna show up there and I'm gonna go get this thing taken care of. So well done, man. Thanks for the call. And I. But I would definitely call a licensed attorney and have one in your pocket for. They're gonna give you the run around, they're gonna look at you and say, oh, he's 26 and we're gonna hem haul and whatever. Here's what's gonna happen today. I leave here with a new car, a fully refunded ttnl, and you keep the keys of this illegal car that you sold me or I'm gonna sue you. And I have cause I've gotta have a car to get to and from around my neighborhood. So there you go, man.

[George Camel]

That sucks.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Sorry that happened, man. That's a bummer, dude.

[George Camel]

Let's head out to one of John Deloney's favorite places. Fort Worth, Texas. Allie joins us there. What's going on, Allie?

[Caller]

Hey, how are you guys doing?

[George Camel]

Doing great.

[Caller]

I had a question and I've got the perfect people for this. What is the long term effect of pausing retirement payoff debt?

[Dr. John Deloney]

You Become debt free faster so everything in your life goes, gets better. I know it's not what you're asking, but yeah.

[George Camel]

So you're saying that the downside of him losing out on my 4% match I was getting for two years. What happens with that money?

[Caller]

Right? And I mean, we're fairly young, so I'm 31 and my husband's 30. So we still have a long way to go before we even retire.

[George Camel]

How much debt do you have?

[Caller]

I know. So we have 20,000 in my car. We've got 32 in my husband's truck. I know they weren't this morning smartest purchases, but we're fixing it now. I do have 10,000 in student loans, but my grandmother is actually going to pay that off this week for me. So it was a huge gift. Yeah, I know. I'm so grateful.

[George Camel]

What else?

[Caller]

I could roll my mortgage as well.

[George Camel]

Okay, but you just have the car loan and the truck loan.

[Caller]

Correct.

[George Camel]

So how about this? If we're going to talk about. I don't want to miss out on investing. Why don't you just sell the truck and the car today and invest the payment you are making?

[Caller]

So that is something we talked about. When I looked at the different debt snowballs, just to look at all of our options, we're newer to Ramsey.

[George Camel]

Awesome.

[Caller]

If we pause my retirement and my husband's retirement, that opens up another $1,000 in our debt snowball, which is already at 1550. So really, that debt snowball is 2550. My car would be paid off November of 2025. The truck would be paid off by August of 2026. Worst case scenario.

[George Camel]

Okay, so we're not talking about a long time. If you paused investing. No, talking about a little over a year.

[Caller]

Correct.

[George Camel]

Okay, so you're talking about essentially your. Your match, whatever you're investing now, that thousand bucks a month that you guys were investing. So 12 grand a year, essentially, you'd miss out on 12 grand of compound growth in your accounts. But how much are you investing right now? What percentage of your income?

[Caller]

So mine is about eight. My husband's is about. It's either six or eight. I can't remember. But I'm not vested. I wouldn't be vested until after we paid off both of the cars anyway.

[George Camel]

Okay.

[Caller]

My husband, My husband's vested up to about 4%.

[George Camel]

Here's, here's the good news. You guys are going to double your investing rate. And so missing out on the thousand bucks a month is not going to make a dent when you guys are doubling that for the rest of your life from 32 to 65.

[Dr. John Deloney]

And if you want to talk about what you're missing out on, you're paying off the next two years. Depreciating assets. That's what you're trading.

[George Camel]

And if I'm in your shoes, I just. If you want to get to investing that bad, sell the car, sell the truck, buy something reasonable in cash.

[Dr. John Deloney]

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. All right, so I was born and raised in Texas and I love the myth of the lone cowboy. You know, the guy who doesn't need anyone or anything. It's a fun story and it's a lie. In our self obsessed society, we're obsessed about our own diets, our own workout routines, our own jobs, our own social media feeds, everything. It's easy to forget that no one can do life alone. And I don't care if you're an introvert, an extrovert or whatever you want to call yourself. We all have to have a community and a support system to do life with. It's time to shift the focus from doing it all by ourselves to knowing that we can only be well and whole when we ask for help. Therapy can be a great source of help and support for any area of your life. And if you're thinking about starting therapy, try BetterHelp. BetterHelp is 100% online therapy so it can fit with your schedule. To get started, just fill out a short online survey to get matched with a licensed therapist. And if it's not the right fit, you can switch therapists at any time for no extra cost. This month, start to build your support system with Better help. Visit betterhelp.com DeLoney to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com DeLoney.

[George Camel]

Welcome back to the Ramsey Show. Christina is up next in Raleigh, North Carolina. Christina, welcome to the show. How can we help?

[Caller]

Hi Dr. John and Mr. George. How are you guys today?

[George Camel]

So good. What's going on with you?

[Caller]

Yes, to keep it quick, I am stuck in an auto loan that I'm trying to get rid of. I'm 25 years old. I really want to be debt free in the next couple of years and I just don't know what to do. I have no financial literacy, no financial, strong background. I was silly for getting involved with this car now that I found you guys a few months ago and I realized how silly I've been with my money and I just want to be better. I really Just want to be better.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Hey, Christina, can we tell you, George and I have both been there, and we're so proud of you, dude. Welcome to the cult.

[George Camel]

And to learn this at 25 is such a gift. So don't feel like it's too late. You're right where you need to be.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Awesome. Welcome to the gang.

[George Camel]

We'll help with it all. We'll help you with the financial literacy. We'll help you get out of this debt. And you are the solution. And the fact that you're calling tells me you know that now. So how much debt do you have?

[Caller]

I have $88,102.

[George Camel]

I like the exact numbers here. Now, you said you have an auto loan. How much is that out of the 88?

[Caller]

So I actually have two auto loans. One was repossessed, and that was 24,800. I'm sorry, 24,800? Yes. And then the one that I currently have on my credit report, it says 24,102, but on the actual statement balance in my account, it says $22,142 that I still owe. I don't know the difference in that.

[George Camel]

Okay, so you have 20. Almost 25 on one, 22 on the other. That's 47. What's the other 41.

[Caller]

So I have 37,809 on student loans, and then collections 1,170, and then credit cards is 671.

[George Camel]

Okay, we can do this. How much do you make?

[Caller]

Last year, based off the taxes, I made 31,000. I do have another job, and so I calculated that I'd make about 52,000 if I remain how I am this coming year.

[George Camel]

Okay, what's your degree in?

[Caller]

I have an associate's in criminal justice technology, and I'm currently pursuing a bachelor's in forensic psychology, and I'll graduate next spring.

[Dr. John Deloney]

What are you gonna do with that job?

[Caller]

So my main goal is. My main goal is to be a youth advocate. So right now, I just applied for a state position to be a juvenile officer counselor.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay.

[Caller]

I'll come in making about 40 based off of my current experience in education. When I graduate, that bumps me up to closer to the 50,000 range.

[George Camel]

But you're making more than that now.

[Caller]

Yes, but I do have to cut back necessarily on the hours, given that I do do work in my ministry. And so what I'm finding is that I'm a little too busy for God, and I really want him to be my focus, but I also just want to be debt Free. So I don't know how the balance works with that.

[George Camel]

Well, the balance is ministry is a luxury when you're broke.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah, yeah. Or more importantly, ministry. You made a bunch of decisions for the last four or five years that are going to prohibit you from doing what you want to do or really feel called to do if you don't owe anybody anything and you want to go live a life of poverty in order to serve the least of these. I'm all about that all day, every day. But you made decisions beforehand now, and you've set yourself up to where you don't get to decide what you do next. You don't get to decide to follow God's call. You got to pay the bankers back. You get what I'm saying?

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[Dr. John Deloney]

And so it's a bummer, and I'm heartbroken for you. And I've met students like you who are so. Their hearts are bigger than the state of Texas. And we need more people like you. And that's why I really want you to buckle down for the next two years and get all this madness out of your life so you can go do what I think you're called to do, which is just sit with hurting people and help them improve their life. Right?

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[Dr. John Deloney]

All right. Are you in?

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[Dr. John Deloney]

All right, because here's what's going to happen. You're going to get this forensic psychology degree, and in your last semester, everybody around you is going to start talking about going to grad school. And then you're going to have a teacher who brings you in. They're like, hey, we see something special in you. We want you to go to grad school. And it's only $85,000 to get a master's in social work.

[George Camel]

And you'll make a bajillion dollars more.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah. And you'll make. You'll make 60,000 instead.

[George Camel]

Right.

[Dr. John Deloney]

And so you're going to have to hold the line for the next two years. Okay?

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Are you in?

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay. All right. Awesome.

[George Camel]

Now, the main thing we need to get out of is this car. You said you're stuck in it. What does that mean? Why can't you sell it?

[Caller]

Okay, so I've been listening to you guys for a few months. So I try to do the steps like Googling, like Kelly Blue Book. And so my car is worth 8,400. And when I called my bank, so I just got my tax refund, and I use a lump sum of that to catch up on my payments. And when I Looked at my statement, I noticed that the money didn't move. So I called them personally and they said, well, every day that you're late is interest added in. My interest is already 23% and yeah.

[George Camel]

So what was the original loan you took out for this car?

[Caller]

It was originally, I believe the 24 or 24,000.

[George Camel]

Okay, and you're telling me the car is only worth $8,000 now?

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[George Camel]

And I did everything that private party.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Because you had a repo on there and so you had to go to a, you had to go to a shark to get, get, get a new car.

[George Camel]

Yeah. Did you roll a bunch of negative equity into this?

[Caller]

Well, my, the repo, I didn't have anything. I kind of just went in and my brother helped me co sign and we just got that card straight out from the beginning. So the repossession had nothing to do with this car per se. I mean it hurt my credit, hence me meeting my brother, but.

[George Camel]

Yeah, but why would a car depreciate that much in value in that short of a time? I don't understand how it's only worth a grand.

[Caller]

I have no idea. I did ever. I put in my VIN number direct so that way they can go pull up the whole entire history.

[George Camel]

And you did private party value not trade in?

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Did you go to a local Toyota dealership or did you go to like.

[George Camel]

Bob's Auto Lot, like tote the note, no credit needed?

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yes.

[Caller]

Oh no, it wasn't a buy here, pay here kind of situation. It was, it was like a regular car dealership. But they help people that aren't like financially there.

[Dr. John Deloney]

So they don't help you, they prey gigantic quotes around.

[George Camel]

Help?

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah, they. They sold you a car for three times what it was worth.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dr. John Deloney]

And they prey on people who are desperate for a vehicle. I'm sorry they did that to you. It's wrong and it's unethical and I hate that for you. And your name's on the note.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[George Camel]

And then you still owe the 25 grand on the repo with no asset to show for it.

[Caller]

Yeah. Yes, sir. And I try to contact the company, but they continue to send me to another line that just cuts out. And so I tried to talk to management, all that, but they no one give me direct answer of how I can start doing monthly pay so I can get that down or get that out so I don't even know how to do.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Have you been sued yet for it?

[Caller]

No, sir. I did get a letter in the mail saying that they did sell it.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay.

[Caller]

And that what's the difference? You owe, I think, was still like 20 because it was a total vehicle that they were repossessed. So it wasn't that much of a difference. But on my credit report, it still shows a full 24 loan.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Well, what happens usually is they repo your car and let's say it's worth 20, and they'll go sell it for 10, and you're responsible for that gap.

[George Camel]

That's why I'm confused why this amount is so high. If they had sold the car.

[Dr. John Deloney]

The only way. If you bought a $50,000 car and they sold it for 25 at auction just to get it off their hands.

[George Camel]

You know the difference.

[Dr. John Deloney]

You know the difference.

[George Camel]

So you need to do some homework and find out what that car actually sold for and verify this. Otherwise you dispute it and get it off your credit report.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah, until somebody will be honest with you, I would dispute it. You can send a letter to your credit report saying I'm disputing this charge because it's not factual.

[George Camel]

And they'll have to prove the debt.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah, they've got to prove. They've got to show a bill of sale for what they sold that car for, and then you're responsible for the difference.

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[George Camel]

But let's pretend in this scenario you owe all the money. All 88 is owed. There's no way to get out of this. You're gonna need to go increase your income by about double, because here's the deal. I want you debt free in two years. Would you agree?

[Caller]

Yes, sir. That's my plan, too.

[George Camel]

That means you need to throw 44,000 of this debt every single year. Okay, that looks like close to four grand a month. You need to be throwing at this debt. You're not even making four grand a month right now. Do you see the mat. The gap in the math?

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[George Camel]

So we need to get your expenses down as low as possible to where you're just able to survive. But we're not doing anything else. I don't care if you have 3 roommates and 4 jobs. I would rather see you debt free in 2 years than hang on to this debt for the next decade. And so it's going to be a lot of hard work. Christina, I hope the financial literacy helps. I'm going to send you my book, Breaking Free from Broke. It's going to come with three months of every dollar premium to help you with budgeting and making every dollar count. And that's what you need to do for the next two, three years while you fight these, these debts, we're also.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Going to send you Financial Peace University. So give you a step by step plan that will help you out as well. We're on your team. You call us anytime. Welcome to the gang. We're going to get you cleared up. Okay?

[George Camel]

That puts this hour of the Ramsey show in the books. Thank you to all the folks in the booth, to my co host, Dr. John DeLoney, and you, America will be back before you know it. Rachel, do you ever get these sketchy text messages that are like, hey, you need to update your address and verify so we can get you the package you didn't order? Yes, I have, George.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Sketchy. And never trust them.

[George Camel]

And that's why we recommend Delete me. They help with that.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah, they do.

[Caller]

Delete Me actually goes in and removes your information from data broker websites.

[Dr. John Deloney]

And it is an incredible service that everyone needs.

[George Camel]

And there's a lot of shady companies out there that solely exist to sell your personal data to bad guys. And that means your info, like your email address, your home address, your kids names, your name, everything is just out there for scammers and spammers to find.

[Dr. John Deloney]

That's right.

[Caller]

And then once they remove your information.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Then they're going to send you a detailed report telling you where they found.

[Caller]

Your information, when they removed it, how many hours they've saved you.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I mean, it is incredible. So detailed and it's beautiful.

[George Camel]

I love these reports so far. Get this, they've reviewed 27,000 listings on my behalf, removed me from 240 data broker sites and saved me 77 hours of time. It's incredible.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Absolutely amazing.

[Caller]

And Winston and I now get fewer.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Texts, weird emails, spam calls, all of it.

[George Camel]

I love it. So you got to be sure to check them out. Ramsey fans get 20% off their annual plans. Just go to JoinDeleteMe.com Ramsey that comes out to less than nine bucks a month. Super affordable.

[Dr. John Deloney]

It's amazing.

[Caller]

So again, that's joindeleteme.com Ramsey.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Make sure to check it out.

[George Camel]

You guys from the Ramsey Network. This is the Ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create amazing relationships. I'm George Camel, joined by number one best selling author Dr. John DeLoney of Taking Your Calls at 888-825-5225. Marlas is in Seattle, Washington to kick us off this hour. What's going on, Marlas?

[Caller]

Hey there. Well, I've got a bit of a. It's a bit of a financial and A bit of a personal question. My husband and I entered into our marriage in 2017 and each came into our marriage with separate assets and I had a greater net worth than he did. And we did sign a prenup that said that our separate assets would remain separate. After our marriage, we moved into my home, which I can own separately, and it's been our primary residence since, and it has greatly increased in value. And he's recently requested an amendment to our prenup that gives him an equitable stake in my home, which is at this time my greatest asset, and has, without, you know, splitting hairs, basically said that he's not going to contribute to housing costs anymore, cost of living here, as long as I'm not contributing any portion of the equity over to him. And so I'm kind of at a loss as what to do financially as I still have the greater net worth. And I don't know what other married persons do in this kind of situation where he's not. I don't feel that he's completely out of line since we are married and we do reside here, but we had an agreement and now he's feeling differently about it.

[Dr. John Deloney]

So he's throwing a grown up temper tantra. He's throwing an absolute grown up temperature. He's being a. He's being a child. I'm going to take my ball and go home if you don't do what I say. Yeah, that's not how marriages work.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Marriages celebrate each other when, when, when two people are, let's take the home equity off the table. When I'm. I'm a writer. Part of my job at Ramsey's writing. My wife also writes. She writes historical fiction. It's never going to sell. There's not a market that would be the same as one of a book on anxiety. Right. When my book does really well, she cheers for her husband. And in her world, her book did pretty good. It did really good and I celebrated her. I didn't demand, hey, by the way, you sold more than we thought, so you owe me a p. That's not how that works. This. I. I can't imagine this happening. There's not other things going on in your marriage?

[Caller]

There's truly not. It really boils down to just this one financial issue. We have three kids together. Other than this, we're mostly happily married. Other than, you know, trivial things here and there. When. When this got brought up, I was a bit blindsided by it, to be honest.

[George Camel]

Do you have a mortgage?

[Caller]

I do, yeah.

[George Camel]

How do you guys Cover the mortgage.

[Caller]

The mortgage is $4,150 a month, and he contributes $1,600 of that. So I still pay the greater share.

[George Camel]

But he has no stake in this house.

[Caller]

He doesn't. No. It's just. Was more. When we, when we initially moved in together, he was paying X amount in rent somewhere else. Right. And we decided to cohabitate shortly before our marriage, and he brought that money that he was paying in rent over as a contribution to.

[George Camel]

But essentially he's renting a house from his wife.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah.

[George Camel]

So I, I'm trying to play devil's advocate to see his side. And I'm going, yeah, I think I'd be a little bit ticked if I was paying my wife rent. But I have no stake in the equity of this house. It's not in my name. It's not part of my wealth building journey. I want to go buy my own house and build some wealth. Then do you see, do you see his side?

[Caller]

I do. I do. And that's. That's actually the exact phrasing that he uses. And I do. I do see that. But I also see it as, no matter where you live, you're going to pay for housing. Unless you own it free and clear, you're going to pay for housing no matter where you live. But. So I do understand that. But he does own his separate real estate. So he brought a piece of property.

[George Camel]

And he's renting it out.

[Caller]

He owns separately. He's renting it out. In addition, I assisted him in buying a property in 2021. So it's an additional investment property.

[George Camel]

What do you mean assisted?

[Caller]

I'm. I used my income and credit to help bolster the deal. If he tried to buy it by himself when he already had the other property.

[George Camel]

So what's the split on that one?

[Caller]

Purchase it. I get none of it. It's against my credit, but I don't get any of it. And it is a net positive property.

[George Camel]

You guys have created a real complicated financial situation.

[Dr. John Deloney]

So y'all came in and y'all said, hey, have both of y'all been through divorces where y'all got burned?

[Caller]

I have not been married, but I have and I haven't been burned. But I've been through some. A difficult separation where someone tried to, again, take advantage of me financially just because we were together for so long.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay, so here's the deal. Y'all signed a prenup that says, hey, what I'm coming into this marriage with, I'm gonna keep what you're coming into this marriage you're gonna keep. Okay.

[Caller]

And it specifically stated, it didn't stop us from ever having joint property together in the future. Just what mine is mine. Entering what's his. It's his.

[George Camel]

Yeah, but you don't own the house free and clear. And so therefore, I would say in that prenup, here's the equity that I came in with. Now, every equity dollar that we build together, you're going to have a stake in. That would be more fair to him, don't you think?

[Caller]

I think that's a great suggestion.

[George Camel]

So I think there's a compromise here.

[Caller]

Exactly what I was hoping from. In this call.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Let me. I want to go step deeper, though. I'm telling you right now, as somebody who works with married couples, your language is unnerving to me. And here's why. Y'all are not building a thing together. You're. You're talking as business partners. In fact, you're not even talking as business partners do, because business partners even talk about ours. You're talking about my income and his income and his house and my house. My house and his house. And he pays for my house. That kind of language. I'm going to revise what I said. I don't think he's being a child. I think he's realizing how completely exposed he is. And like George said, he's paying rent to his wife. He's. He's. Y'all need to share a single checking account, and y'all pay for the mortgage every month. And.

[Caller]

Yeah, we don't. We file taxes separately. We. He has a business. He files that separately. I don't see anything with it. We have separate checking accounts. Everything is separate.

[George Camel]

Why did you guys get married? It seems like you want to keep your lives separate.

[Caller]

No, no. We're great friends. We enjoy doing everything together. We enjoy our family together, our off time together. We enjoy each other. But financially, I think it. And it may have been more me because I have had someone try to take advantage of me financially, but I really try to protect my finances.

[Dr. John Deloney]

And so I think he's calling that out. The. The data tells me that couples that share a checking account build wealth, greater wealth over time period. It also shows that couples that share a checking account, quote, unquote, may be more exposed. But that's marriage. It's both of us with both feet in the same boat. And the real. The reality is when you marry somebody, they can hurt you and they choose every day to love you. And that's the way this thing works. And so, yeah, if there's great wealth inequality when someone's getting married, then I'm okay with the prenup. And I've even come around with some different ideas on a prenup. That's for a whole nother call. But I'm telling you right now, you guys have got to begin to be on the same page and sharing money and filing jointly together. Otherwise, you're just great business partners who share a house.

[George Camel]

What does the future hold for business? Ask nine experts and you'll get 10 different answers. Economic growth or a recession? Business taxes will go up or down. AI will help us work or it.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Will replace us all.

[George Camel]

But there's no such thing as a crystal ball. That's why more than 40 businesses have future proofed themselves with NetSuite by Oracle, the number one cloud enterprise resource planning system. Ramsey Solutions uses NetSuite and you should, too. Whether your company's earning millions or even hundreds of millions, NetSuite helps you respond to immediate challenges and seize your biggest opportunities with one unified business management suite. There's only one source of truth for the visibility and control you need to make quick decisions. NetSuite's real time insights and forecasting help you see into the future with actionable data. And when you're closing the books in days, not weeks, you can spend less time looking backward and more time focusing on what's next. And speaking of what's Next, download the CFO's guide to AI and machine learning at netsuite.com Ramsey it's free at netsuite.com Ramsey hey guys, good news. Presale is on now for my new book, build a business you love. If you're a business owner, you know running a business is hard. That's why I wrote this book, to share what we learned over the last 30 years so business owners can grow your business faster with fewer mistakes. Pre order your copy today and you'll get access to over $350 in bonus items only at Ramsey Solutions ramseysolutions.com store pre order today. This is the Ramsey Show. I'm George, joined by Dr. John. The number to call is 888-255-225. Eric is in Atlanta, Georgia. Coming up next. What's going on, Eric?

[Caller]

How you guys doing today?

[George Camel]

Doing great. How can we help?

[Caller]

Okay, so my daughter purchased a home probably last year with the understanding that in three years she would leave the house to me and her mom once she's got a new position on her job. Well, it come up a little Sooner than we thought. So she's wanting to leave the house to meet me and her mom, but we can't afford the mortgage. So she was wanting to put 50 to $70,000 down on the house and get the mortgage lower so we could afford it. But she was told since she has a FHA loan, that she could not put that much down and get the payments lower. So her next option would be to sell the home and to give us the 50 to 70,000 to put down on us. A home, but our credit is not up to par yet. What do you suggest?

[George Camel]

It sounds like you guys can't afford to live there. Why doesn't you just sell it and you guys go live somewhere you can afford?

[Caller]

That's what we was thinking.

[George Camel]

Yeah. I don't see it. Sounds like this deal sounded nice, and now reality is hit, and the math is she's gonna gift you $70,000 to prop up your life in this house.

[Caller]

Yes.

[George Camel]

Why would she just gift you $70,000 just out of generosity?

[Caller]

Yes. Yes.

[George Camel]

Is she unbelievably wealthy?

[Caller]

Oh, she makes pretty good money. She's not there where she want to be yet, but she. She makes pretty good money.

[George Camel]

But where is she gonna go?

[Caller]

She was going. She's moving, Moving. Moving out of state, and she was gonna rent an apartment.

[George Camel]

But doesn't that cripple her ability to buy a house in the future? If she gives up $70,000, that would have been a down payment.

[Caller]

Yes.

[George Camel]

I just. Yeah. I don't see a world where this works out or she's not resentful or doesn't hurt her financial future. I would rather you guys live where you can afford to live. What is your rent right now?

[Caller]

The mortgage is, like, 27, 2700 where.

[George Camel]

You'Re at right now.

[Caller]

Yes.

[George Camel]

Okay. And what's her mortgage?

[Caller]

Well, no, we all stand up together.

[George Camel]

Oh, you live there.

[Caller]

He was gonna leave. Yes. Yes.

[George Camel]

So she sells. You got to move out and live somewhere.

[Caller]

Right.

[George Camel]

What's your household income?

[Caller]

We probably make 68,000.

[George Camel]

Okay. So could you find a place to live that's, let's say, 1500amonth?

[Caller]

Yeah, we could. I mean, it'd be a stretch, but. Yeah, I think we could.

[George Camel]

I'll tell you, it's a stretch becoming a homeowner when you're broke and can't afford the property taxes, the insurance, the maintenance, the rising costs of all of that over time, plus the mortgage. That's tough.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Right?

[Caller]

That's what we was thinking as well.

[George Camel]

Because here's the thing, Eric. I don't want you calling back a year from now and you go, man, we can't afford this house. We got into it with my daughter trying to front some money to get the mortgage lower, but it's just too expensive for us and now we're stuck with it. What do we do? That's the future.

[Caller]

Right?

[George Camel]

Do you guys have any money right now saved up?

[Caller]

No, we don't.

[George Camel]

You have any debt?

[Caller]

We have probably 15,000 in debt.

[George Camel]

Okay.

[Caller]

A car.

[George Camel]

I would focus on getting a financial foundation for yourselves by getting rid of the debt, getting a fully funded emergency fund in place of three to six months of expenses, and then begin saving up a down payment to where you can do this on your own independently, instead of relying on. On your daughter to help fund this while you guys are still in a bad financial situation.

[Caller]

Right.

[George Camel]

So I think we have a. Have to have a hard conversation, that this dream is no longer a reality and that she needs to just go ahead and sell the house, take whatever profit she gets and roll that into a future house.

[Caller]

Okay. That's what we were thinking as well.

[George Camel]

I'm sorry, I know it's not the news you wanted to hear, but it's. It's what I would do if you were. If you were my dad. I'd have this hard conversation with you and say, dad, as much as I want you to be able to stay here, it's going to be too expensive for you guys to afford and I don't want to put you guys in a financial bind. And these kind of weird handcuffs, right? Who was wanting this all to happen? Was it more on your daughter's side or was this your idea?

[Caller]

It was her. Her idea. We had our own spot. We had a town home. We lived in the house and she was begging us to move in with her. She didn't want to stay there by herself and she was going to leave the house to us. So we didn't. We thought long and hard about it, then we just went ahead and did it against our better, better judgment. But that's where we at now.

[George Camel]

If you wanted to keep it, the only way to do it would be like an assumption loan or a refinance. But my guess is they're going to say, hey, we can't grant you this. And even if they did, the bank will grant you way more than you can actually afford. They don't care. And so I think right now the best thing to do is just to go find somewhere you can rent affordably, get rid of the debt, get the Emergency fund. And maybe a few years from now we can revisit you guys buying your own place. Okay, man, I hope that helps.

[Caller]

Thank you.

[George Camel]

That's a tough situation, Eric. Sydney is up next joining us in Portland, Oregon. How can we help? Sydney?

[Caller]

Hi. I had a question regarding insurance. So my husband and I, we canceled our IUL plans and we're planning to get term life insurance.

[George Camel]

Good.

[Caller]

But we're wondering if you folks have or like recommend some type of insurance that covers like, if we get sick and we're unable to work or. Is that what disability is? Through our employers?

[George Camel]

Yeah, there's a few things. I mean, health insurance would cover you if you get sick, but if you're talking about replacing income, you'd want to look into long term disability insurance.

[Caller]

Okay.

[George Camel]

That's what we would recommend. And usually you can get it through your employer. That's, you know, John and I have that through Ramsey. It's very affordable through an employer because of the group plans, but you can get it on your own. It'll likely be roughly 1 to 3% of your annual salary, and that will cover about 60 to 70% of your income.

[Caller]

Okay.

[George Camel]

And then for short term things, just an emergency fund would do the trick. Three to six months of expenses saved up would cover you for the short term. And so that you don't need to buy short term disability insurance, just get the emergency fund in place. Do you guys have that right now or are you still getting out of debt?

[Caller]

We're still in baby step. Yeah, we're still trying to get out of debt.

[George Camel]

Okay. How much longer to go?

[Caller]

We got a ways to go.

[George Camel]

Oh, boy. Is this like a five year? Is it ten years? Two years?

[Caller]

Well, we have about $200,000 in debt, so we are. We're making our way. Yeah.

[George Camel]

What's your household income?

[Caller]

We make 175 a year.

[George Camel]

Good, good, good. Okay. Yeah. I would focus on.

[Caller]

We're new to this, so we're, you know.

[George Camel]

No, that's great. You're asking really good questions. And I'm glad you got rid of that index Universal Life Policy. It's one of the worst, most expensive products money can buy. And as you probably learned, it combines two things that should never be combined. Insurance and investing. Who sold it to you? Who hates you that much that they would sell you that policy? An old college friend?

[Caller]

Family.

[George Camel]

Oh, no.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Of course.

[George Camel]

Hey, two Brute.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Oh, that is awful, man.

[George Camel]

How much were you paying for it?

[Caller]

So my policy was around 400, and then my husband was around 300.

[George Camel]

You guys are paying 700 bucks a month for the pleasure?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dr. John Deloney]

What was the payout at the very, very end when they give you part of your own money back?

[Caller]

Oh, I couldn't tell you. I know, like if like the death or the death benefit or whatever was like a million dollars for mine and then 500.

[George Camel]

But what was the cash value like when you surrendered the policy? What do you end up getting back?

[Caller]

Oh, I couldn't tell you that. I don't know.

[George Camel]

Pennies, probably. It sounds like you haven't had it very long.

[Caller]

Hopefully we've had it for two years now.

[George Camel]

Okay. Just enough to be angry.

[Caller]

But it was kind of something that just like, is in the background, you know, like we just pay it every month and, you know, just don't worry about it.

[George Camel]

That's how the insurance sales people like it.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yes.

[George Camel]

Okay. Well, I'm glad you guys are getting term life.

[Caller]

Trying to get rid of it.

[George Camel]

Yeah, you're. Have you got term life in place yet?

[Caller]

No, but I know to go through Xander.

[George Camel]

That's the one. Zander.com they'll get you hooked up. John and I have our policies through Xander. You're going to be paying a fraction of the price and with the money you're saving the difference in premium, you can go get out of debt and be free and one day use that money to invest. This is the Ramsey Show. We get tons of calls from listeners like you who ask really good questions about real estate. So we built a single place on our website where you can find all the answers anytime. We call it our real estate home base. Everything you need to prepare to buy or sell a home with confidence. So if you're ready to take the next steps toward your home goals, visit our real estate home [e-mail] realestate ramseysolutions.com realestate welcome back to the Ramsey Show. I'm George Camel here with Dr. John DeLoney. The Ramsey show question of the day is brought to you by YREFI with why refi? You can take control of your defaulted private student loans with a plan that works with your monthly budget. Visit yrefi.comramsey to learn more. That's the letter Y r e f y.com Ramsey may not be available in all states.

[Dr. John Deloney]

This is a good one for you, George. Today's question comes from Matthew in Rhode Island. All right, so cash is king. But in a digital world where paychecks are direct deposit and bills are paid online, how would you set up your accounts to utilize the envelope system when Our budget was cash based 20 years ago. It was much less stressful. Now banking is digital and I struggle to set up my accounts. I have a savings account, a checking account. We deposit everything into a checking account where we transfer grocery and gas expenses to be paid from. Oh, here we go. Yeah, he's making it super complicated. And another account that everything left over from our first two checking accounts is transferred to and all remaining bills are paid out of it. I feel like I'm over complicating the process. Matthew, my brother stating it, I'm turn this over to George. But I have been there. I used to have a checking account for almost every bill. Like this is my electric bill account. And. And dude, it was chaos.

[George Camel]

Yeah, that is wild. So the envelope system is great for your bills that are more variable and in your control. So things like groceries where you're like, I don't want to overspend, I can cash this out. But you know, these days I do more digital style. So I have my every dollar budget, which I don't know, there was, there was no. It says when our budget was cash based. But you're not mentioning anything about your budget now. So here's what, I'll tell you what my wife and I do. Maybe this will help simplify it for you. We have one joint checking account.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Me too.

[George Camel]

That's where everything, that's all of our spending money for the month, every bill gets paid. And we have one high yield savings account.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Me too.

[George Camel]

That's where we have the emergency fund. And if you want to have another savings account for a short term goal like vacation fund, you can set up another savings account for that auto transfer some money. There's. I would not have five checking accounts moving money around like some kind of weird shell game. And so how do you do the envelope system in that way? Well, use cash where you can and where you can't check the budget. And so before you make the purchase go, how much do we actually have left according to transactions that really happened in our everydollar budget. And if you have every dollar premium, this is easy because we track, you know, you track the transactions. But the bank statement will show up right there of what that transaction was.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Either a spins it, you get a notification on your phone, it'll tell you, hey, somebody just bought something at Costco, somebody just bought something at the hardware store or whatever. And it keeps everybody on the same page.

[George Camel]

So the solution is track your transactions daily just once. And you know, before you go to bed, pull up the phone and see what transactions showed up from every dollar and track it to the right category and you'll know, hey, we have a little money left. And with every dollar, there's a cool paycheck planning tool so you can basically digitally fund your grocery bill. Let's say you have, let's do easy math, $500 a month for groceries. So every dollar can fund 125 bucks per week in that line item. So you know, I have one 25 bucks for groceries this week. When the next week happens, it's going to fund another 1:25 in your budget so that you know how much you have left to spend that week. So that's a way that's been really helpful to me to set up my budget. I have my sinking funds in the budget. I mark them as sinking funds. So I know I'm saving up for that, that long term purchase, whether it's insurance, a vacation, whatever it is. So every dollar, I think is the key to your problems. And where you can use cash and utilize the envelope system method more physically, that's the way to do it because you're going to feel more pain and more friction with those purchases. And so, Matthew, I hope you, you see this, if you do, reach out to me and I'll hook you up with every dollar on me and see if that helps with your situation. But I love the intentionality. Just took it a little overboard.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah, well, I mean this, this was me. I was trying to protect myself from myself. So it's like, all right, this is going to be my grocery debit card and when it's gone, it's gone. And this is going to be my whatever bills paying debit card and that. But I just made it so complicated. That's. Yeah, every dollar is cool because it's almost like digital envelopes.

[George Camel]

And I do think the paycheck planning tool will help him because it sounds like he's trying to make sure that the bills are covered and that we don't run out of money. And so another factor that could help is having more buffer in the account. And the ultimate goal, if you can get to where all of your monthly bills are in the account, let's say your monthly bills are $5,000 on, you know, March 1st. If you can have a 5,000 bucks sitting in that checking account, that really helps. And then whatever amount is over that come next month, you can sweep it, the rest into savings and leave that five grand go again.

[Dr. John Deloney]

That's right.

[George Camel]

That's the simplest, most freeing way I know that takes a While for people to get to. But having a buffer will definitely help you. Great question. Brittany joins us up next in Wisconsin. What's going on? Brittany?

[Caller]

Hi, John and George. It's crazy. It's so surreal to be talking to you right now. Everyone says they're so nervous. I feel it now.

[George Camel]

I get nervous just sitting next to John, so I get it.

[Dr. John Deloney]

And George is smarter than me, so I feel nervous too. So we're all nervous together.

[Caller]

Okay, so my question is, will, a basic will through Mama Bear legal forms, protect our children's custody and inheritance. And the reason why I ask this is because we would like separate people for custody and handling their inheritance.

[Dr. John Deloney]

When you say custody, do you. Are you in a blended marriage?

[Caller]

No. No.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay, so tell me what you mean by custody. You mean, like, who would. Who would get your kids in the event that you and your partner died?

[Caller]

Yes. Correct.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay. That's the same. That's the will I used. So I had a really extensive over the top estate plan when I was in Texas, when I moved to Tennessee. The attorney who wrote that for me was a colleague of mine at the law school. And he said, hey, by the way, this is only good in Texas, so you got to get a new will. And so right when I got to Nashville, that's the first thing I did. I didn't even work at Ramsey yet. And I went to Mama Bear Wills just in case my wife and I died in a car wreck going to dinner. My two kids are sitting here in Nashville. They don't know anybody. That was the first thing I did. And since then I've gotten. I went and sat down with another attorney and had a more a trust drawn up and all that kind of stuff. But yes, it will be. It will. It would take care of you.

[George Camel]

Yes, there's a. I don't know that we can fully answer it on in a five minute call, but the will will allow you to name a guardian for your children, but a court will still have to approve that guardian based on the children's best interest. And so there could be more to it there where you want to look into something. You definitely need a will, but you might want something beyond that. And again, the will will direct where your assets go, but it won't control how and when they're distributed. So if you're looking for something a lot more nuanced, then you could look into a trust later on where you set that up and you can lay out exactly what happens and when it happens versus a will. Just saying, here's who Gets what? Here's who will take care of the kids. And so I think a will is a great start. And you can talk to, you know, an estate attorney and go, hey, here's my situation. Does this require a trust? But Mama Bear is. That's all I have right now. I just have a simple will Through Mama Bear legal forms, I have a mirrored will. So my wife's will, we just swap all of the names and that's as simple as it gets. And most people just need a basic will. But I don't want to assume based, I don't know, all the intricacies of your inheritance and the custody. It sounds complicated.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah, I think you're using the word custody, which is. Which I consider a legal term. I think you're considering that with guardianship, like, where are my kids going to go live? Right?

[Caller]

Exactly.

[George Camel]

Okay, yeah. No, that's simple enough then. And then again, inheritance is just, well, here's who gets what. And so I think a simple will is all you need based on what you've told us so far. And Mama Bear will walk you through all of that. And if you feel like, man, I just, I need some more. I need to get another opinion. You can look into a trust and work with an attorney at that level, but it sounds like you're on the right track. I'm glad you're looking into this. How old are you guys?

[Caller]

We're 27 and 29.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay, let's. Let's do this today or tomorrow. Will you commit in front of America to do that?

[Caller]

To do what?

[Dr. John Deloney]

To get your will. To get online with Mom Bear and get a will.

[Caller]

Oh, yeah, for sure. I was already on the website shopping around, seeing what my options were.

[Dr. John Deloney]

And by the way, you may have somebody in your life, the person who will do the asset distribution to make sure my guitars go where I want them to go and to make sure my retirement gets signed over in the Right. I've got a very like a 30 year friendship with a guy and he's one of my best friends on the planet. He's the executor there. My wife is the one who will make the, like the medical power of attorney calls. And I want my wife, if. If I were to die, I want my wife to have the. The privilege of being really sad and not having to get in and figure out all the nuances of a 401k transfer. Right. So I actually have a different executor than I would. You can have an executor for one and somebody else Gonna make life or death decisions for you. Like so you can get in there and just and whatever's going to work for you and your family and it's a good call out. George. Each person has to have their own will. Will. Right. Because get that who knows what's.

[George Camel]

Yeah. For couples is the option you want on the website. So go check it out. For anyone listening if you don't have a will, let this be your wake up call.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Go get it. 100 chance you die.

[George Camel]

Go get Mama Bear. Legalforms.com is the place to go. It's the ones that we trust and recommend and use ourselves. This is the Ramsey Show. Listen, I know a lot of you would rather watch paint dry in slow motion than file your taxes. But thankfully you don't have to dread filing. When you've got Ramsey Smart tax, it comes packed with everything you need to file on online before the big deadline. That means all major federal forms and deductions are covered with no hidden fees. Plus, with Ramsey SmartTax you can save up to 70% compared to other tax software out there. It's a no brainer. Just go to ramseysolutions.com smarttax and see how simple tax filing can be. That's ramseysolutions.com smarttax welcome back to the Ramsey Show. I'm George Camel here with Dr. John DeLoney. Hey, if you're a business owner or you know someone who is or you want to start a business, Listen, running a business is hard. Some days the challenges pile up. The fear creeps in. It can be isolating, can feel overwhelming. And that's why Dave Ramsey wrote a new book. It rarely happens. So this is a big moment called Build a business you love, where he unpacks how he took a business from a card table in his living room to a $250 million business. It's the proven system. This is the baby steps for business as close as we're going to get to it. And it's going to walk you through the five stages of business, the six drivers that move you through the stages. And it's going to just kind of be a light bulb moment for a lot of people out there who are going, man, I feel stuck. It shouldn't be this difficult. How do I break through? This book will show you how. Pre order now 29.99. You'll get over 350 bucks in bonus items, including the entree leadership hiring playbook instantly. Early access to the ebook and the enhanced audiobook read by Dave Ramsey himself. Pre order today, ramseysolutions.com store or if you're watching on YouTube or podcast, click the link in the description. All right, let's go out to Gail in Louisville, Kentucky. Up next. What's going on, Gail?

[Caller]

Hello.

[George Camel]

Hey.

[Caller]

I could cry right now.

[George Camel]

Don't cry or cry.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I don't even give away a bad answer yet.

[George Camel]

It's fine.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah, we may give you terrible advice and you can cry. That'll be fair. What's up? How can we love you?

[Caller]

Oh, my goodness. So, long story short, try to make this as quick as possible, and our time is limited, but having said that, I'm on my third marriage. Been together, been married for almost 10 years, my husband's second marriage. We both got burned really bad financially. Really, really bad. Having said that. So when we got Mary had a financial conversation. What does your financial picture look like personally? What does mine look like? We had that conversation. Everything was great. You know, what are we going to do? What does this look like, you know, as we're progressing in our relationship moving forward? Having said that, you know, we open a joint checking account, of course, and then he contributes money to it. I contribute money to it. You know, we pay all of our household expenses out of that. He has his personal accounts, and then I have my personal accounts. I'm following the baby steps. I've got 2,000 in savings right now. My vehicle will be paid off this year. And then I am attacking some credit cards that I've got personally, which is great. I feel really good about this. I've been putting in, I don't know, last two months, 70 to 80 hours a week to make sure I make enough money to take care of these things.

[Dr. John Deloney]

So how can we help? You sound like you're doing well.

[Caller]

Yeah, my question is, is that I have had, you know, my husband keeps. And he makes probably 15, $20,000 more a year than I do. And he's got a lot less bills, and he's constantly screaming about money.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah.

[Caller]

And I'm asking him, what is the problem? What is the problem? I don't understand why you're so upset all the time about money. After we got married, I had health issues. I'm a diabetic. My father died right before we got married, and he had a bunch of insulin left over, which is the exact same insulin that I took. So I didn't have to buy insulin for a while. I didn't have health insurance, so it cost me about 800amonth for insulin.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay, let me stop right here. This is your third marriage this is his second. And I'm telling you right now because I love you now, because there's no judgment. This is me just pulling up a seat at the restaurant.

[Caller]

Y.

[Dr. John Deloney]

You're on a trajectory that this is. You're going to end this one, and he's going to end his second one. And here's why. Y'all still have not come together. And you're giving your. The people who hurt you in the past, you're letting them still sit at Yalls dining room table when you only dinner together every night because you have your money, your bills, your debt, your medical expenses. Let me tell you right now, my wife, if she has an $800 a month medical situation, we have an $800 a month bill. Yeah, because both feet are in the boat. Both of our feet are in the same boat. My guess is your husband is walking around, he doesn't feel connected. He doesn't feel a hole in his life, and he's just trying to find something to be mad at, and he's picking money. And so I love that y'all have that joint checking account. That's awesome. I want you to consider what George and I do, which is we only have one account. We don't have a joint checking account with our wives. And then also side accounts where we like. It all goes in the pot. And if. If.

[George Camel]

If we. If you got a problem, we got a problem.

[Dr. John Deloney]

We got a problem. Yeah.

[George Camel]

And right now, he's just doing his thing. You're doing yours. And you. You said you communicated about money. You can look at reality all day long, but no one is actually agreeing to change it.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah, you gotta do the next right thing. Is he. Is he refusing to do this, or have y'all even not put that on the table?

[Caller]

He told me. I'm sorry.

[Dr. John Deloney]

No, you're okay. You're okay.

[Caller]

After we got married, because where I worked, I didn't have health insurance, and I couldn't afford it at that time. I mean, it was outrageous. But anyway, and he told me. I said, thank you so much. Thank you so much for everything you're doing. And.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Is he not willing to pay? He wasn't willing to help you?

[Caller]

Well, no, that's. That's the thing is. Is, you know, I just don't really know. But I said, thank you so much. Now I've got insurance, and I won't have to pay $800,000 a month for inch. For my insulin.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Sure.

[Caller]

Because now he's got insurance. And he said, well, listen, don't you go Crazy going to the doctor because I can't afford that.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay?

[Caller]

And so elephants. And we hold those things, you know?

[Dr. John Deloney]

I know, I know, I know.

[Caller]

And that hurt still, you know, it hurt terribly. And I said, look, guess what? And I started crying. I said, you know what? You're not gonna have to pay for a dime.

[Dr. John Deloney]

No. Yeah, I know that. That two wrongs don't make a right on that deal. And he said something he probably shouldn't have said and. Or that I know he shouldn't have said, and that that triggered stuff that you've heard from previous two marriages and any number of other years you've been on this planet. And you responded by saying, I'm gonna take my ball and I'm gonna go home then.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dr. John Deloney]

And now you got two people who are co. Living in the same house. And here's what I want for you and for him. I want y'all to be married. Ride or die. Both of us on the same roller coaster, ups and downs. And when you got a problem, we got a problem. And when you got a bill, we got a bill. And here's the deal. The research tells me when you put both feet in the boat, both of you do that over time, couples who are married, well, their net worth collectively goes up exponentially, like compound interest in a wild way. That's why those of us in our society who are. I mean, you go look at the richest of the rich, they keep getting married, right? It's. It's to their best interest. And I know that's hard to do in the situation. So I think the best move is a hard. I always recommend people, when they have a hard conversation, use an I statement. Like a couple of years ago when we first got married, I got my feelings hurt, and I said then you're never going to help me again. I'm not going to accept your help. And I was wrong, and I'm sorry. Then hopefully he says, I shouldn't have said that too. Right? But we're going to sit down and say, okay, we've. We've both are healing from our past, and now let's both go all in. How bad is it for your financial situation? How bad is it for mine? I'm going to send you Financial Peace University, the course, the digital course for free, the nine lessons. You and your husband can watch them together, and y'all can decide. Hey, let's get on the same page. I don't ever want to see you, my husband, my one love, that you all stressed about money all the time. And hopefully he looks at you and says, I don't want you worrying about your health all the time. And we're going to be in this thing together. Is this terrifying and scary? Yes. Can he look at you in the eye and say, I'm not doing any of this? Yes. And you're going to have to deal with that reality, which is another layer here. But let's see what happens if both of y'all say, I'm all in. If you're all in. Game on. Hang on the line. We'll get you hooked up with Financial Peace University as our gift. We're rooting for you. Call us anytime.

[George Camel]

Thanks for the call, Gail. That puts this hour of the Ramsey show in the books. Hey, you're still here. What are you doing? You do know that the rest of today's show is playing right now over on the Ramsey Network app, right? All you gotta do to finish the episode is search Ramsey Network in the app Store, Google Play Store, or just click the link in the show notes to download the app for free. Yep, you heard me right. For free. Then right there on the home screen, you can watch the rest of today's show. Bada bing, bada boom. All right, I'm getting out of here. Enjoy. We'll see you on the app.