The Ramsey Show – "Don’t Quit When the Journey Gets Hard"

Date: September 25, 2025
Hosts: Dave Ramsey & Dr. John Deloney
Main Theme: How to persevere through financial and life challenges—offering practical, tough-love advice for callers struggling with debt, family, marriage, and big money decisions. The episode focuses on not quitting when the journey is hard, addressing both the tactical and emotional aspects of money management.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Family Financial Boundaries & Helping When Kids Are At Risk

• Caller Cody’s Dilemma: Cody and his wife have underage sisters being asked by their parents for money to cover basic needs due to the parents' financial struggles. Daughters as young as 10 have “lent” their summer earnings for groceries; a 17-year-old gave $1,000 for bills.
• Discussion:
  • Dr. John Deloney stresses: “Before you help family, you always protect kids first.” (02:30)
  • Dave emphasizes the need for sustainable solutions rather than throwing money at the problem: “We only give in situations where we create a sustainable story. We don’t throw good money after bad.” (06:50)
  • Advice: Have a gentle conversation led by Cody’s wife with her parents to assess the situation, offer education, and only help if it creates real change (i.e., coaching, budgeting help, not just cash).
  • Quote: “They’re not being physically abused, but financially they are. That still matters.” – Dave Ramsey (04:11)

2. Financial Trust & Infidelity in Marriage

• Caller Michelle’s Crisis: After losing her job before the wedding, her medical resident new husband quits his residency without notice and subsequently hides spending, transferring $3,500 from their joint savings to his personal accounts for personal expenses, breaking agreements.
• Discussion:
  • Dr. Deloney diagnoses contempt and lack of respect brewing in the young marriage, warning about roommate-style relationships:
    • “You’re at contempt… The Gottmans call it the worst of the four horsemen in a relationship.” (12:22)
    • Dave bluntly: “You can’t go forward with separation and deception.” (17:15)
    • They describe her husband’s acts as “financial infidelity.”
  • Advice: Call a “DTR” (Define the Relationship) meeting and emphasize rebuilding trust, transparency, and mutual financial decision-making.
  • Quote: “He’s not building a life with you. He’s building his life next to you. That’s not marriage, that’s roommates with benefits.” – Dr. John Deloney (18:26)

3. Veteran Scammed Into Financial Disaster

• Caller Ethan’s Story: Young veteran coerced into purchasing an $830k house at a high interest rate, based on a fraudulent job offer that immediately evaporated; now $200k underwater and facing a short sale.
• Advice:
  • Dave’s rule: Only do a short sale “without recourse,” meaning the lender can't pursue the caller for the shortfall.
  • Cautions on scams targeting veterans and the importance of pausing to heed internal warnings.
  • Quote: “You are like the walking definition of ‘if it sounds too good to be true, it is.’” – Dave Ramsey (25:10)
  • Personal growth: Don't only blame the swindler—learn why you ignored the red flags.
  • Key Phrase: “Without recourse!” – Dave Ramsey's mantra for any short sale agreement. (28:29)

4. Debt Payoff vs. Investing—Stay the Course!

• Caller Scott (42): Doing well paying down $37k of debt in 9 months, wonders if he should slow down payoff to invest more (401k, Roth).
• Advice:
  • Dave: Follow the baby steps strictly—stop 401k contributions, use cash reserves toward debt, and focus 100% on becoming debt-free:
    • “Your shortest distance between where you are and financial security and wealth is 100% debt freedom.” (39:51)
  • Dr. Deloney: Don’t quit mid-marathon! Finish the hard part, don’t lose steam due to fatigue.
  • Quote: “Finish this race, man… You own this thing.” – Dr. John Deloney (41:29)

5. Navigating Parental Support, Elder Care, and Guilt

• Caller Lynn: Debating taking out debt to fix her aging mom’s unsafe kitchen. Both can’t afford $10k cash.
• Advice:
  • Dave: “Don’t ever borrow money to help someone else—especially an eighty-year-old’s kitchen.” Instead, seek help from the mom’s church—engage their community for practical and safe assistance.
  • Dr. Deloney: “Nothing feels better than shaming a pastor” (lighthearted about holding institutions accountable for care).
  • Discussion of the importance of setting boundaries for both yourself and your aging loved one, and leveraging community over debt.

6. Handling Long-term Non-marital Partnerships and Financial Disparity

• Question from Ava (Ohio): She and her partner (together 15yrs, 2 kids, never married), have extremely separate finances; she earns most, pays all household costs, he works little.
• Advice:
  • You can’t “motivate” an adult partner to step up after so long.
  • Need honest conversation about what life together actually means—or decide if you truly want to keep living this way.
  • “You get what you tolerate.” – Dr. John Deloney (57:51)
  • Marriage data: Married couples fare much better than unmarried cohabitors in health, wealth, and satisfaction (Dave elaborates at 61:00+).
  • Quote: “I want a man in my house, not a third kid… If you won't do the work, I'm going to move forward without you.” – Dr. John Deloney (59:39, paraphrased)

7. Financial Independence for Women—Stay-at-Home Parenting & Career Fears

• Caller Caitlin: Wants to know if she can afford to quit work and stay home with her baby—the family has no debt or mortgage.
• Advice:
  • Dave: “Practice” by living on one income for a few months before quitting.
  • Both hosts acknowledge the emotional and social transition, and the “industrial mother guilt complex.”
  • Suggest continuing freelance work or professional engagement to keep skills sharp.
  • Quote: “Decide what you want to do. You and your husband are the only ones who get a vote. Everyone else’s opinion doesn’t count.” – Dave Ramsey (85:06)

8. Retirement Asset Allocation – Owning vs. Renting in Retirement

• Caller Pam (Houston): Considering selling her million-dollar home to rent and invest the equity, already has several million invested.
• Advice:
  • Dave and John: If you want to move because you dislike home upkeep, that’s valid, but don’t pretend it’s a smart financial maneuver. Owning is superior for stability and wealth-building, especially at this stage.
  • “No millionaire we’ve ever studied got there by selling their home to invest and becoming a renter.” – Dave Ramsey (121:54)
  • Don’t let fear for children’s future dictate unnecessary asset liquidation.

9. Triumph Story – Debt Free Scream

• Mike & Lori: Paid off $175k (including the house) in 29 months, now baby steps millionaires at ages 60 and 57.
• Key Lessons:
  • “The key was doing it together, acting as one.”
  • Combining bank accounts late in the process simplified everything and built trust.
  • Discipline and focus on the baby steps pay off with peace and freedom.
  • Quote: “It’s never too late in your marriage or with money to change the way you do things.” – Dr. John Deloney (115:50)
  • Debt Free Scream at: (115:38) – “Three, two, one… WE’RE DEBT FREE!”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On intervention when kids are being financially abused:
  “You always protect kids before you help family.” – Dr. John Deloney (02:30)

• On trying to 'fix' deeply financially broken or irresponsible relatives:
  “Don’t throw good money after bad. Only help if it’s going to actually fix the problem.” – Dave Ramsey (06:50)

• On disappointment and trust in marriage:
  “He’s not interested in building a life with you. He’s building his life next to you.” – Dr. John Deloney (18:26)

• On pushing through debt payoff:
  “Finish this race. Don’t quit when you’re tired—this is the hard part, but you own this.” – Dr. John Deloney (41:29)

• On long-term shacking up:
  “You get what you tolerate.” – Dr. John Deloney (57:51)
  “There is zero data that says you outperform financially, health-wise, or relationally by shacking up. Married couples outperform every time.” – Dave Ramsey (61:00)

• On guilt and societal opinions for stay-at-home mothers:
  “Everyone else’s opinion doesn’t count. Make sure you’re truly living the life you want, not the one you feel pressured into.” – Dave Ramsey (85:06)

• On retirement decisions:
  “No millionaire we’ve ever studied got there by selling their home to invest and becoming a renter.” – Dave Ramsey (121:54)

Important Segment Timestamps

• Financially Abusive Parents Discussion: 00:43 – 09:01
• Financial Infidelity in Marriage: 10:04 – 19:40
• Veteran’s Short Sale & Learning from Mistakes: 22:24 – 31:22
• Debt Payoff vs. Investing Motivation: 37:15 – 42:28
• Helping Elderly Parents Without Debt: 44:33 – 52:29
• Motivating an Unambitious Partner: 54:35 – 62:13
• Stay-at-Home Parent & Career Identity: 76:04 – 85:06
• Retirement Home Sale Debate: 117:18 – 124:21
• Debt Free Scream—Inspiring Success: 106:55 – 115:40

Tone & Style

The episode maintains a mix of tough love, humor, relatable stories, and empathetic coaching. Dave is blunt and direct, challenging callers on their rationalizations, while John balances with psychological insight and emotional encouragement. The tone is practical, supportive, and never sugarcoats the realities of personal finance or relationships.

For Anyone Facing Overwhelming Challenges:
The underlying message is to dig in, don’t quit when the journey gets tough, lean on the right support, apply practical discipline, and remember you’re not alone—whether battling debt, navigating family messes, managing marriages, or planning for the future.