Don’t Wait for Someone Else To Fix Your Life

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show – Episode: “Don’t Wait for Someone Else To Fix Your Life” (Released February 17, 2025)

The Ramsey Show, hosted by Dave Ramsey and co-hosted by Ken Coleman, delves into practical financial advice, personal development, and relationship building. In this episode titled “Don’t Wait for Someone Else To Fix Your Life,” listeners are guided through various financial dilemmas, receiving actionable solutions and insightful discussions aimed at empowering individuals to take control of their financial futures.

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1. Helping a Loved One Recover from Financial Scams

Caller: Allison from Washington D.C.
Timestamp: [00:51]

Allison reached out with a distressing situation involving her 71-year-old mother, who recently fell victim to a fraud scheme, resulting in the disappearance of approximately $1.2 million from her and her late grandmother’s estate. Allison expressed her frustration and fear about the limited resources available to assist her mother in recovering from this scam.

Key Points Discussed:

• Assessment of Mother's Situation: Dave Ramsey empathized with Allison’s predicament, highlighting the emotional turmoil caused by such deceit. He questioned whether her mother’s actions were driven by loneliness or possible mental impairment.

  Dave Ramsey: “Is your mom just lonely or is she diminished mentally?”
  [02:23]

• Limitations in Assisting: Ramsey emphasized that unless Allison’s mother acknowledges her situation and seeks professional help, such as therapy or counseling, there’s little that can be done externally.

• Law Enforcement Involvement: Although Allison suspected the FBI had been alerted, Ramsey noted the challenges in recovering funds from sophisticated scams, especially those potentially orchestrated internationally.

• Emotional Support: The conversation underscored the importance of emotional support and practical assistance, such as managing her mother's remaining funds responsibly.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey: “You can't make her do anything unless she acknowledges the situation... So, you need to treat her like she does not have competency because she obviously doesn't.”
[05:08]

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2. Navigating Family Loans and Financial Boundaries

Caller: Jeremy from Seattle
Timestamp: [20:20]

Jeremy shared his experience of borrowing $80,000 from his in-laws to purchase a manufactured home on their property. Additionally, he admitted to making a poor financial decision by buying a $6,000 four-wheeler, which strained his relationship with his in-laws.

Key Points Discussed:

• Financial Entanglement: Ramsey critiqued the decision to borrow a substantial sum from family, warning of the potential loss of financial and personal independence.

  Dave Ramsey: “Number one, borrowing $80,000 from your in-laws for anything for any reason is a massive mistake.”
  [27:04]

• Asset Depreciation: He highlighted the impracticality of investing heavily in depreciating assets like trailers, which lose value over time.

• Relationship Strain: Ramsey stressed that mixing significant financial transactions with family relationships often leads to complications and resentment.

• Recommended Actions: Selling the four-wheeler to alleviate financial pressure and renegotiating terms with the in-laws were suggested as immediate steps to prevent further deterioration.

Notable Quote:

Caller (Ramsey): “This is the number one cause of divorce in North America today. Money fights and money problems.”
[82:12]

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3. Impact of Tariffs on Personal Finances

Caller: Brianna from Washington D.C.
Timestamp: [31:19]

Brianna inquired about the personal implications of President Trump's new executive order on tariffs, seeking clarity on how these economic policies would affect her daily expenses.

Key Points Discussed:

• Understanding Tariffs: Ramsey explained that tariffs generally lead to increased prices on imported goods, directly impacting consumers by making products more expensive.

  Dave Ramsey: “Tariffs will affect us. There's no question. Even President Trump has said... that prices will go up.”
  [35:12]

• Economic Ripple Effects: He elaborated on how tariffs might not significantly affect neighboring countries like Canada and Mexico but could have broader implications if extended to other nations with large trade deficits.

• Consumer Impact: Emphasized that American consumers would bear the brunt of increased costs, as businesses pass on the additional expenses.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey: “There's nothing in this story that turns out good. And the problem is to stop and say that out loud is like walking up in the middle of the town square and saying, the emperor has no clothes.”
[28:33]

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4. Assisting an Elderly Parent with Limited Income

Caller: Andrea from Evansville, Indiana
Timestamp: [55:47]

Andrea sought advice on supporting her 71-year-old mother, who has minimal Social Security income ($900/month) and is considering selling her $175,000 home to sustain her living expenses.

Key Points Discussed:

• Financial Viability: Ramsey pointed out that $900/month is insufficient to cover basic living expenses, including property taxes and utilities, necessitating urgent action.

• Housing Solutions: Suggested downsizing to a more affordable residence or selling the current home to eliminate financial strain.

• Employment Opportunities: Encouraged Andrea’s mother to seek employment, mentioning available jobs in local stores that could provide the necessary income to bridge the financial gap.

  Ramsey: “If this were my mom... she would be going into one of those stores... she’s going to have some healthcare options.”
  [60:56]

• Healthcare Concerns: Addressed the fear of losing Medicare benefits by working and advised investigating Medicare guidelines and potential insurance solutions.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey: “$900 bucks doesn't pay for property taxes, insurance on $175,000 house, and food and lights and water. It doesn't do it.”
[58:35]

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5. Celebrating Debt Freedom and Financial Discipline

Caller: Luke from Fort Myers, Florida
Timestamp: [64:02]

Luke shared his remarkable achievement of paying off $121,100 in debt within 28 months, attributing his success to setting clear goals, maintaining discipline, and leveraging budgeting principles taught by Dave Ramsey.

Key Points Discussed:

• Goal Setting: Emphasized the importance of setting both large and mini-goals to stay motivated and track progress.

  Luke: “Set a goal that's important... I set these little mini goals... to keep track and have accountability.”
  [69:08]

• Budgeting and Accountability: Highlighted how adhering to a strict budget and regularly monitoring financial goals can accelerate debt repayment.

• Lifestyle Adjustments: Discussed the sacrifices and lifestyle changes necessary to achieve financial freedom, such as reducing unnecessary expenses and prioritizing debt payments.

• Emotional Rewards: Described the immense relief and sense of control gained from being debt-free, reinforcing the psychological benefits of financial discipline.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey: “When you set all this debt down that everyone else is carrying, they're walking around holding their breath and you can breathe.”
[72:15]

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6. Addressing Unsustainable Mortgage Payments

Caller: Ken Coleman
Timestamp: [77:29]

Ken Coleman, also the co-host, sought advice on his unsustainable mortgage situation where 50% of his income goes toward housing, with an outstanding loan of $402,000. He inquired whether he should liquidate his $190,000 in stock to refinance his mortgage and reduce monthly payments.

Key Points Discussed:

• Financial Imbalance: Ramsey identified that Ken’s mortgage payments constitute an unmanageable portion of his income, rendering the situation unsustainable.

  Dave Ramsey: “You're choking to death. You’re starving to death.”
  [78:43]

• Refinancing Limitations: Explained that simply refinancing might not yield significant savings and could perpetuate financial strain.

• Asset Liquidation: Advises selling stocks or property to eliminate debt, emphasizing that one cannot maintain high expenses without sufficient income.

  Ramsey: “You can't have both. You can't keep this house the way it's set right now.”
  [82:02]

• Lifestyle Adjustment: Encouraged Ken to make tough decisions, such as downsizing or adjusting financial priorities, to restore balance and ensure financial health.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey: “You need to make the decision. Don’t stand around, act like nothing happened and starve to death because y’all are starving, man.”
[82:20]

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Insights and Conclusions

Throughout the episode, Dave Ramsey consistently emphasized the importance of financial responsibility, proactive problem-solving, and emotional resilience. Key takeaways include:

• Proactive Financial Management: Don’t wait for others to fix your financial issues; take the initiative to seek solutions and make informed decisions.

• Emotional Support and Communication: Financial stress often intertwines with personal relationships. Effective communication and emotional support are crucial in navigating financial hardships.

• Budgeting and Goal Setting: Establishing clear financial goals and adhering to a strict budget can lead to significant achievements, such as debt freedom.

• Avoid Mixing Finances with Family: Borrowing money from family members can complicate relationships and lead to financial entanglements that are difficult to resolve.

• Adaptability in Financial Planning: Be prepared to adjust your lifestyle and financial plans in response to unforeseen circumstances, ensuring long-term financial stability.

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Conclusion

In this episode of The Ramsey Show, listeners are provided with practical advice and real-world solutions to complex financial challenges. From assisting elderly parents in financial distress to celebrating debt-free milestones and addressing unsustainable mortgage payments, Dave Ramsey and his team offer compassionate guidance grounded in proven financial principles. The overarching message reinforces the importance of taking control of one’s financial destiny, fostering healthy relationships, and building a secure and prosperous future.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey show. Where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. I'm Dave Ramsey. Your host, Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality is my co host today, number one best selling author and we are here to help you. The phone number is easy. It's triple 882-55-5225. The call is free and some say the advice is worth exactly what you pay for it. Allison starts us off Today in Washington D.C. hey, Allison, how are you?

[Allison]

Hi. Thanks for taking my call. I appreciate all the education that you guys provide. My question today is about how to help my mother recover from a roman. She recently found out that there's about $1.2 million missing from hers and my grandmother's estate, and it's gone. And I know I'm not responsible for my mother's spending, but there's just very few resources out there to help someone as they recover from this kind of scam.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow. So he has disappeared.

[Allison]

Yeah, I don't even think she met him in person. So this, this got flagged from her bank after she transferred $300,000 and they flagged that. But that was only the biggest transfer. There were a lot of other smaller transactions totaling that I'm aware of, about 1.2 million. But it might be more.

[Dave Ramsey]

How old is your mom?

[Allison]

She is 71.

[Dave Ramsey]

What a horrible thing. I'm so sorry. Simultaneously makes me angry and sad. Wow. Okay, so I guess there's a couple of areas. Is your mom just lonely or is she diminished mentally?

[Allison]

That's a great question. Definitely the first one. We thought that she might be diminishing ment. I still hold that opinion. There are other family members that think she's just the way she's always been.

[Dave Ramsey]

Is there anything left?

[Allison]

She told me there's about $5,000 of my grandmother's money left. My grandmother does have income and that's going to cover her nursing home expenses. She's actually in hospice now, and I do feel like my grandmother's going to be okay. We've been working with the nursing home to make sure that they're going to continue her care. And, you know, it's not going to be too much longer.

[Dave Ramsey]

Who's in hospice or gr. Grandmother or your mother?

[Allison]

My grandmother. My grandmother. Because my mother is a power of attorney for my grandmother, which is how this came out. Because I'm like the second in line for power of attorney. I forget that term right now.

[Dave Ramsey]

So how is your mom successor? How is your mom reacting to all of this. Is she prideful towards you? All I can do what I want to do. Or is she scared and humble? Take over this. I'm not capable.

[Allison]

No, she's really in denial at the moment. I've tried to send her budgets. I've tried, you know, stuff from. From Yalls website.

[Dave Ramsey]

And unless she. Unless she is mentally diminished, you can't make her do anything.

[Allison]

Correct.

[Dave Ramsey]

So all you can do is help her with her guilt. Once she discovers she's been scammed and that she's probably gonna sit down and see a good therapist, a good counselor.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Allison]

It's almost like an addict behavior. Like I'm kind of waiting for her to hit bottom and then I'm gonna try to scoot her, which is what I'm doing now.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm not scooting her any resources. She's not responsible enough to handle them. You've got to decide how she can manage. You can help her manage the resources she gets her hands on and manage those. And if you give her some food money instead. Just give her some food because we got to get a long way away from this competency issue. I can't tell why she's incompetent, whether it's just sheer loneliness and she's not a very smart person or whether she's mentally diminished. I can't tell. And you can't either is what it amounts to. So, you know, you've just got to treat her like that and go, oh, man. So sad. Such evil people out there. Yeah. And have you turned this over to the FBI yet? Well, you can't if she's in denial because she's got. She's got a violet.

[Allison]

Right. I think they're aware because of the conversation. I understand. With the bank. I do think she's on. I've researched all this. I think she's on the. There's like a list. So I think it has been reported to the FBI.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. All right. And if there's anything you can do to try. Sometimes once in a blue moon, they actually recoup some of this stuff. But. Wow. I'm so sorry. What a horrible thing. So, yeah, you. You're there for her emotionally as she deals with the guilt of this level of screw up. And you're there for her basic necessities. But we're not scooting her resources. She doesn't need any scooting. She. She needs. You know, she needs care. You're gonna have to treat her like she does not have competency because she obviously doesn't yeah.

[Caller]

The thing that I would add, Allison, is, is you mentioned you're gonna have to let her hit rock bottom. And unfortunately, you're gonna have to do this. This is where role reversal takes place. You become the parent, she's the child. And it's very, very difficult. But short of Dave, the children being able to pay for a private investigator, the only way. I hate to be so negative, but I've read into some of these things because we've taken this call several times over the last six months, as I recall, and I did some research, very, very hard to recover this. These people. This may not even be a real dude. This could be a woman in some foreign country. They are very creative and they cover their tracks. And you almost have to have a private investigator who's got some experience in this stuff, number one, and who you can afford, number two, who can hopefully entrap them and catch them. That's the only way. Many. The law enforcement, Dave, just doesn't step up here because there's so many of these cases. So I hate to be so well.

[Dave Ramsey]

And negative, but that's the reality. It's on the computer and the other end of something in Russia or where you don't know where it's going, there's no. No telling the. It's really tough, man. Yeah, I. We've taken this call a bunch over the last 30 years, for sure, in different forms. The Internet has made it more. Yes, prevalent, I guess, but it's not that unusual. But. But. So I guess, yeah, be there for her emotionally. Be there for her necessities. We're not ever going to put her in charge in the near future of any kind of assets because she's not responsible or capable or competent or whatever the phrases we want to use. That's not. Those aren't insulting words. They're just observations of where she is, obviously. But, yeah, you don't. Wow. So it. And there's a part. If I'm Alison and I think it's normal for the family members, there's a part of them that are aggravated with Mom. Oh, sure. For not having her crap together any better than this, you know, but so those of you out there, this happens almost exclusively to elderly that are by. And let me back it off. Okay. Not even elderly. 50 years old and beyond, if you want to call that elderly. If you're. If you're 20, that's ancient. Okay. But if you're 60, it's not ancient. Okay. So. But anyway, 50 years old and beyond, lonely and disconnected and not involved where like if Allison is the the successor trustee in the situation then you know she leans in and is very involved in mom to where she knows this is happening.

[Caller]

Correct.

[Dave Ramsey]

Where you know if they're disconnected even the least amount from the rest of the family and from friends where somewhat no one is raising a flag going you're doing what you know but you gotta have a conversation. You gotta be in a conversation to be able to say that. And that's not on Allison. It's not her fault. But this is who it happens to. The lonely. So it happens to. Wow, how sad. This is the Ramsey Show. If you need health insurance for yourself or your family, you might be lost in a maze of confusing terms, overwhelming options and questions about networks. Not to mention high costs and bad service from insurance companies that don't care about what you want. Common concerns like those are why I'm proud to recommend Health Trust Financial. They've been working with Ramsey for over 20 years and they're the only Ramsey trusted health insurance broker. Health Trust Financial takes an unbiased approach to finding you the best health insurance for your situation. They listen to your needs and because they work for you, not the insurance companies, their service is free with no obligations and no pressure. Here's the best part. Health Trust Financial customers typically save an average of $500 a month. Health Trust Financial is your one stop shop for unbiased advice about health insurance options to make sure you don't overpay. So get out of the maze by going to HealthTrustFinancial.com today. HealthTrustFinancial.com Ken Coleman, best selling author is my co host today. I am Dave Ramsey, your host. This is the Ramsey Show. We talk to you about your life and your money. Some of you are aware that we coach and train and do events for small businesses. Got around 10,000 of them right now that we're coaching all across America. And I love small business people. 54% of the gross domestic product the economy is created by businesses with fewer than 500 team members. Small business is literally mathematically the backbone of the U.S. economy. And so people starting up new stuff and excited entrepreneurs are my people. I started this business of Ramsey on a card table in my living room 30 something years ago. And today we've got over a thousand folks working here. We've got several hundred million dollars in revenue and helping people is our goal and our product. It's what we do. And I had a best selling book teaching people about how we run this business several years ago about A decade ago called entree leadership. It still sells very, very well. Thank you guys for reading that. The combination of entrepreneurism and leadership. So today we are launching pre sale on a book of mine. I don't do many books anymore. It's been, I think, four or five years since I've done one. And so this one is the system that we have used to grow Ramsey and that we teach the small businesses to grow around America. It's called build a business you love. Mastering the five stages of business. We have identified that there are six things that drive businesses forward. And as they go forward, they go through five stages. Two different elements here. But much like you walk the baby steps in personal finance, this entree leadership system with the six drivers and the five stages that you go through in business, and it takes decades in most cases to go through all of it. As you grow a business from an idea all the way into a multi million dollar thing. This is the baby steps for small business in a sense. And this is what this book does. It's the total money makeover for small business, in a sense, because it's going to show you exactly what those five stages are, exactly what the six drivers are, and exactly how to do them. And you're going to like your business better. One of the dichotomies is most of us start a business because we think it's going to be more fun than working for someone else. And then you find out you've got the meanest dadgum boss on the planet, which is you looking at yourself in the mirror. You will work yourself to death and you will crack the whip and do stuff. It's crazy. So you can end up hating the business that you started if you're not careful. It happens all the time. But you've got to get a thing where you're building something that you love and you're enjoying it like you did the first day you had the idea. And so build a business you love. It's on pre sale starting today. The book actually ships on April 15th. Oddly enough, tax day for small business people, right? And everybody else. So. And if you pre order now, you're for 29.99, you're going to get over $350 worth of bonus items, instant access to the entree leadership hiring playbook, which is one of the lessons we teach here. And hiring and firing is the biggest challenge small businesses face. It's a complete pain in the butt. And it's wonderful both because you get to meet some of the best people on the planet and some of the craziest people on the planet. Early access to the ebook is part of the package and you get the enhanced audiobook. I read the audiobook, but we've also put a bunch of other stuff in there. It's almost like a production of a podcast. And so the audiobook is super entertaining and super cool rather than just me reading the book. It's not that. Okay, so pre order [e-mail] store. If you're watching on YouTube or podcast, you can click the link in the description. I've been doing this for 30 years. 30 plus years ago, I started on a card table in my living room and I don't write about stuff that I have not done. Nothing we do at Ramsey is theory. It's all, we're practitioners. We give you actionable things you can do. And Ken, you've spoken at Entree Leadership Summit, which we're doing in May in Denver. It's a huge event at Entree Leadership Master Series, which is a smaller event for the owners of small businesses. And these small businesses, really, if you're thinking about or you are operating or running or even working for a small business, this stuff's important.

[Caller]

Yeah, I was going to say very quickly that the timing for this is right because our audience is exploding in the podcast and YouTube space. And more and more we're seeing Gen Z call this show. So if you're in Gen Z or you're a millennial and you've just had an idea at some point in your life, I think this is a must buy. You may not be ready to launch the business, but to understand what it takes to go from a card table, as Davis said now just a moment ago, to a massive company with over a thousand employees, hundreds of millions of dollars in revenue, it is a proven system and I love the stages. They're very easy to understand, but will help you see what it's going to take. And Dave, we're seeing data now that Gen Z is the most entrepreneurial generation that we've ever had in history because they're seeing that their entryway into working for themselves is easier than ever. They see it obviously through video, through digital tools, and thus it's created this great desire to work for yourself. So this book, I think, is a must gift. If you've got that young entrepreneur in your life, parents or grandparents, or if you are somebody who thinks you might want to work for yourself one day, I think this is a must read so that you can see what the climb is going to have to look like. That's why I like this book. I think the timing of this. This thing's going to go absolutely bananas because of the day and age in which we live.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, and if you're 52 and you have eight employees in your own heat and air company. Hello. I know exactly what you're facing.

[Caller]

That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

Other than the heat and air part, but I mean the rest of it. I know it inside now. And you know, we've got you as a customer all over America, and I can show you exactly what the next steps are.

[Caller]

It's not too late.

[Dave Ramsey]

This is not just what Ramsey has gone through. This is what We've coached these 10,000 businesses through. Build a business you love on pre sales starting today. And Ken, I think that's a beautiful thing. If, if you got an idea. What you don't know yet, if you've not started a business, is the three rules of business. Rule number one is it's going to take twice as long as you thought. Rule number two, it's going to cost twice as much as you thought. And rule number three is you're not the exception. This is going to be hard. It's going to be hard. It's going to be harder than you thought. And you're going to make some mistakes and your best ideas are going to turn out looking stupid, and some of your dumb ideas are going to turn out looking like you're a genius. And you just. It's amazing to me how much of my personal stupidity this company has survived over 30 years, the number of dumb things that we have tried that did not work, and the reason they survived was the financial underpinning. We don't borrow money. And following these exact steps and these six drivers and staying true to our lane. This is what we do. This is what we do. This is what we do. And we can show you how to do all that. But I'm not going to tell you it's going to be easy. It's not easy. It's easier to start a business today than at any time in human history. Yes, anytime in human history, because your marketing is instantaneous. You've got this wonderful thing. Like the old country boy said, you got that Internet. I mean, you know, you got this wonderful thing out there that you can do anything with. And there's a ton of, you know, standalone plug and play products to help you, you know, run your business, help you do all kinds of things to. To get something off the ground. So, you know, the first time I Ever saw that really was. I was just amazed that the first time I met the guy that he made a million dollars in one year. This was. God, 20 years ago I met him, I made a million dollars in one year selling used golf clubs on ebay.

[Caller]

Wow.

[Dave Ramsey]

He was buying. You go to garage sales and buy golf clubs for a dollar, clean them up, buy the whole box, the whole bag. Because people just want them out of the way. That's right. They collect. They, you know, generally those are wise. Use golf clubs, get those out of the corner. Yeah. And nobody wants the old technology, right?

[Caller]

No.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Everybody does when it's cheap enough. So he would take it, clean it, put it on ebay. And all of a sudden he had a business. Wow. You know, and. And, you know, so you can, you can decide to do something like that. But then, like a friend of mine I was talking to the other day, that's in his 30s who suddenly has millions of dollars of revenue, he's now overwhelmed. He's like, I now have a business. I thought I was just a. And he goes, now I got people working for me. Now I got all this other stuff. And he's kind of an accidental entrepreneur, if you will. And so, yeah, there's processes, though, that can get this back for you, that can help you get your life back together, Build a business you love. On presale today, as I said, I don't do many books anymore. Most of our book production and writing is done by the Ramsey personalities around here. And they do a great job. And we've got number ones with bestsellers, with multiple number one bestsellers with all of them. And there's no need for the old man to get in the way of that. But this is my material, so I had to put it into a book. We couldn't let it, couldn't let it just wander off into the ethos. So this way you can get your hands on it for only 29.99 and you can get a system to run and grow your business. And I gotta tell you, if you're running a small business, you deserve to win. You are the right kind of people. You're the kind of people people should work for versus corporate America who will piss on you. So I mean, you know, you need to go to work for good people. Family run businesses. They're the best on the planet. This is the Ramsay show. Taking care of your health doesn't have to cost a fortune. That's why Field of Greens is in my house. Field of Greens is made from fruits and Veggies selected by doctors to support your heart, liver, kidneys and metabolism. And here's the best part. They're so confident your doctor will notice your improved health, they offer a money back guarantee, no questions asked. Try today and get 15% off at fieldofgreens.com Ramsey promo code Ramsey fieldofgreens.com Ramsey Ken Coleman Ramsey personality, best selling author is my co host. Today Seattle is on the line. Jeremy is calling. Hi Jeremy, how are you? Good.

[Jeremy]

How are you?

[Dave Ramsey]

Better than I deserve. What's up?

[Jeremy]

Good. Hey. I just started your book this last month with my wife. We are on baby step number two and long story short, we basically borrowed some money from a family member, my father in law and mother in law about a year and a half ago and we put a manufactured home there, use the money for that. We're paying them back pretty quickly. It feels like made a dumb decision again before I started your book and went out and bought a toy. And it's kind of putting some stress on our relationship with them. They're thinking we shouldn't be spending money when we owe them money. And I just wanted your advice on that.

[Dave Ramsey]

What'd you buy?

[Jeremy]

Four wheeler.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, what'd you spend on the four wheeler?

[Jeremy]

Six thousand. And we financed it, but it's almost paid off now.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, and what do you owe them?

[Jeremy]

About 80,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oof. So they loaned you the money to buy a house, put a manufacturer, a trailer.

[Jeremy]

Yeah. Yes, sir.

[Dave Ramsey]

On their property?

[Jeremy]

Yes, sir.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you have an $80,000 trailer and you don't own the dirt?

[Jeremy]

Correct.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh God. Okay. Wow. Well, what are the terms? I mean, did you have a payment system with them? A certain amount you're supposed to pay them every month?

[Jeremy]

Yes. Yeah. And we've been paying that on time every time.

[Dave Ramsey]

Obviously you were not. Well, not obviously. I mean, you've never been late and yet they expected that you would prepay them rather than do anything else. Why did they expect that?

[Jeremy]

You know, that's a good question.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Jeremy]

And you know, our thing is we have a pretty good relationship with them and things just kind of got awkward. So do I sell the toy, take a loss and move on? Do I? You're, you're the expert. I guess that's my question.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Caller]

I'm curious to know if there was any pressure that you felt at any time or your wife felt at any time to a borrow 80 grand from them to then get a pre mod trailer and put it on their property. Was there pressure there or was it just they threw it out? You Guys love the idea.

[Jeremy]

So basically we sold our house and had some money set aside to do this project. And it was just an idea that got thrown out there and nobody thought it would really work. We were able to make it work and we were pretty excited about that. There wasn't too much pressure there. It will most likely be. It will be our property at some point. So there wasn't too much for us on worrying with that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. There's two layers to this situation. The first layer is the simple four wheeler question. Okay?

[Jeremy]

Yes sir.

[Dave Ramsey]

On the simple four wheeler question, I think you and your wife need to go over, ask him if you can come over and talk and have a cup of coffee and bring a pie. And you just sit down and say we thought that we had a monthly payment arrangement with you. And as long as we were doing that, we thought we were doing the right thing somehow. There must have been more to the agreement than we understood because if we go on vacation, you're gonna be mad. If we buy a four wheeler, you're gonna be mad. But we didn't know that was part of the deal. And so we need to get on the same page about what our deal is. Cause I thought our deal was I pay you monthly payments and you're happy, but now it's I pay you monthly payments and I have to check with you before I buy anything. And that's not a deal I'm okay with now. Agreed. You shouldn't have bought a stupid four wheeler in this situation. Okay, that's an aside and you can say that I made a mistake, I shouldn't have bought the toy. But I'm trying to figure out what our boundaries are here so that I don't upset you again into the future and basically call them out because they're out of line. You did a stupid thing, but they don't have a right to be upset about it because you're kept your part of the deal.

[Jeremy]

Yep.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm telling you, sell this four wheeler and get yourself out of debt with that money. Yeah, definitely do that. But that not paying towards them. Okay, that's layer number one. That's the easiest layer. Do you want me to get harder, Jeremy, or do you want me to leave you alone? Nope.

[Jeremy]

I want to hear it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, you guys have made a colossal mess. You violated about six things here and you're going to get. It's not going to turn out well, I'm afraid. Colossal Rule number one is you never build a property, you never put $80,000 worth of collateral on Someone else's dirt. I don't care whose dirt it is, period. Because you do not have control of the situation. If they are in a car wreck in the middle of the night, fall asleep at the wheel, and these sweet little people hit somebody head on and they get sued for $200 million, the dirt under your trailer is gone in that lawsuit. And they have no control over that. And you have no control over that. So you have set yourself up. And I've seen this a thousand times in 30 years of doing what I do. Not owning the dirt under your trailer is a massive mistake. Number one, borrowing $80,000 from your in laws for anything for any reason is a massive mistake. Number two, the borrower is slave to the lender. And as you have figured out, masters change the rules. Sometimes you're the slave. Rule number problem. Number three, you spent $80,000 on something that's going down in value, not up in value. Trailers go down in value, they don't go up in value. So in 15 years, what's this $80,000 trailer worth? Nothing. You're burning $80,000 on your kitchen table every night a little bit at a time. So you got a massive entanglement of mess here. And I don't know exactly how to get you out of that one as easy as I did the other one. This is not a cup of coffee and a pie. But if I'm in your shoes, I'm going to start trying to unravel this thing. If I can figure out a way to honorably do that. I'm guessing the trailer won't bring 80 grand now, right?

[Jeremy]

No.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. What would it bring? Now?

[Jeremy]

It might get close. You know, there's. There's not a lot of them around to get a good idea.

[Dave Ramsey]

But okay, if you can. If you can get out of it, I would sell it and start fresh renting somewhere and give them their money back. And keep you from owning an asset that's going down in value sitting on dirt that you don't own. Man, this is just. It's. You're playing Russian roulette and there's three bullets in the gun, not one.

[Caller]

Yeah, I. Dave, you.

[Dave Ramsey]

You.

[Caller]

Yeah, he's been sufficiently burned. I'll offer some salve and the sav.

[Dave Ramsey]

I got permission.

[Caller]

No, you're right. No, you couldn't be more right. I just can't add anything to it other than to say this, walk away from this. To realize it could have been way worse. And this thing can get nastier if you don't fix it. Now. And I. I could not say that enough. You can dig out of this, but I would start digging quickly and make all these changes. And you'll look back on this and go, I'm glad I did it.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's gonna get worse. The relationship's gonna get worse. The finances are gonna get worse. Everything's gonna get worse. There's nothing in this story that turns out good. And the problem is. To stop and say that out loud is like walking up in the middle of the town square and saying, the emperor has no clothes. Everybody's gonna look at you and go, but wait, your wife's gonna look at you, their precious little daughter, and go, my daddy would. Oh, yes, he did. He already bitched about the four wheeler going to do it. It's coming. You know what your daddy's going to do, right? Okay, I already know what your daddy's going to do. I read his mail.

[Caller]

Well, Dave, this makes me think of the classic line in the wedding vows, leave and cleave. There is a psychological reason for doing that. There's wisdom in that phrase, not living on their land.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, mom and dad have got some money and they've got some land, and they were trying to do something nice, and they did a good thing in a dumb way.

[Caller]

Yeah, that's a great way of putting it.

[Dave Ramsey]

You know, how could you do this differently? All right, I'll tell you how you could do it differently. You carve up your property, you put a property line on it, and you give a parcel of it to your daughter. And if you want her to have an $80,000 property, have her build something on there that will go up in value and give her $80,000 of your money. Don't loan it to her and make her your slave and change the quality of your relationship. Thanksgiving dinner tastes different. When you eat with your master, it changes the relationship. And you're not the exception. No one, none of you out there. So mom and Dad's quit doing a nice thing, a good thing, a bad way, and causing more problems than you were blessings. Yeah, that's right. That's poor Jeremy. I'm sorry, Jeremy, but you called and you asked. This is the Ramsey Show.

[Rachel Cruze]

There's a time in your life and did the baby steps for renting, but you don't want to do it forever, because when you rent, you're still paying for a mortgage, just somebody else's. Plus, rent means instability in your budget because it always goes up, never down. So when you're ready to buy, make sure you work with a mortgage partner you can rely on. Churchill Mortgage Churchill is Ramsey trusted to help you make the move from renting to home ownership wisely? Churchill understands that when you buy a home the Ramsey way, your mortgage payment will be a consistent, manageable part of your monthly budget. Plus, when your home is paid off, that was your largest expense. Now it's extra money in your pocket and an asset towards turning you into a baby steps millionaire. So get started on the American dream of homeownership [e-mail] that's churchillmortgage.com this is.

[Caller]

A paid advertisement in MLS ID 1591 in mlsconsumeraccess.org Equal housing lender, 1749 Mallory Lane, Suite 100, Brentwood, Tennessee 37027.

[Dave Ramsey]

Open phones this hour. Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality, is my co host. Our question of the day is brought to you by Y Refi. If you're struggling with defaulted private student loans, why Refi offers a great solution to get you back on track for a low fixed rate and more flexibility. Go to yrefi.com Ramsey today. That's the letter. Yes. R E F Y.com Ramsey might not be in all states.

[Caller]

Today's question comes from Brianna in Washington, D.C. can you explain how President Trump's new executive order on tariffs will affect me at a personal level? Well, this is my answer will be based on if the tariffs stand. Right now there's been an extension, if you're paying attention to the news. President Trump mentioned the tariffs would take place, Canada, Mexico specifically. And then they responded, their governments responded. And so now there is a, we'll call it a waiting period to see how this plays out. But if the tariffs were to go into place, and I'm just gonna be honest, so if this offends you folks, I honesty is what I'm gonna go with. Tariffs will affect us. There's no question. Even President Trump has said, and I quote, that prices will go up. There's no question that that's how tariffs work. Even though a tariff is placed on a foreign country, that is on the goods and stuff that they would of course export to American companies. And so American companies will have to pay the tariff. The idea is to drive American goods, which I'm all for. But there's no question that tariffs are passed on from American companies to American consumers. So it's a long held economic strategy. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. We'll see how this plays out. It's too soon to tell because again, we've got A bit of a moratorium. But if they go into place on certain goods and services, you will see an increase in cost. The question is how much of an increase in cost. And that comes down to the American company that is again getting goods from Mexico or Canada. So that's how that works. And I've never seen companies not pass on increased costs to customers across the board.

[Dave Ramsey]

I've got a friend building a house in Cabo in Mexico.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

And he just had some of his appliances and his plumbing fixtures shipped in from the states. Mexico adds a 33%.

[Caller]

That's correct.

[Dave Ramsey]

33% on top of that. So $1000 item becomes a 1500 dollar item.

[Caller]

That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's today.

[Caller]

That's happening. Yeah, that's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

And has been that way for years.

[Caller]

Which is why the president came out.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's been that way for years.

[Caller]

That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. So that does not happen when Mexico sends stuff here. So we need to keep in mind that's what's really going on. If you are an American company wanting to sell things to customers in Mexico, you face a 33% upcharge today. That's been in place for years. Did it crash either economy? No, no. Did it slow down the number of people that do business in Mexico? Yes, hello. Yeah, I mean, and that's the net, net net effect of these things is. But this idea that somehow Americans are going to come up on the short end of this stick. Not really. Canadians are really worried about this. They're very worried about three Canadian business people in the last week that were very, very afraid.

[Caller]

Oh, absolutely.

[Dave Ramsey]

Of what it's going to do to them. And it's much more damaging to them.

[Caller]

No question.

[Dave Ramsey]

So.

[Caller]

But I do want to answer it honestly.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, honestly too. You will pay more if you buy something from Canada or you buy something from Mexico and that goes into effect, you will pay more.

[Caller]

That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

No question about it. 100%. The companies do not eat taxes. We're going to raise corporate taxes. No, you're not. You raise corporate taxes. Corporate taxes are built into the price of the item you buy from Walmart. Walmart does not pay taxes. You pay taxes. When you buy potato chips at Walmart, you pay all their taxes for them. It's built into the price. They don't work for nothing. You can't raise corporate taxes. It's impossible. All you do is raise prices to the consumer. Same exact thing.

[Caller]

That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

Exact same.

[Caller]

Here's the flip side of this because I was on Fox Business Talking about. They asked me what I thought about this. If the president also extends his tax cuts, which will expire later this year, that would help the American consumer in lowering your cost. Of course, you keep more of your paycheck. The second thing that the president, I think will do, I think we're gonna see this soon, is he's going to cut regulation on American businesses. And if he were to lower taxes on American businesses, that also offsets tariffs. So it is for people who are just hearing the media talk tariffs, you gotta look at the whole picture and go, okay, if he does what you're talking about and he's now going after two countries that we do a lot of trading with, he's going, it's gotta be fair. You've heard him use these wor words, not mine. But if he also lowers taxes on American businesses and lowers regulation, then you might see very little. And that would be my hope. And I fully expect him to do that. I see nothing out of his administration that wouldn't do that. In that case, you're not going to feel tariffs in and of themselves, by themselves. I think that's what's going to happen.

[Dave Ramsey]

The economics is not as simple as one variable. It's not more to it than that. Here's the other thing, and this is what I told my Canadian buddy, okay. He was. He was in meltdown mode.

[Caller]

I'll bet.

[Dave Ramsey]

I said, let me just. I'll give you an opinion. And it's worth exactly what you pay for it. There's not gonna be any tariffs in Canada. That's my opinion.

[Caller]

It already appears as though none of this is.

[Dave Ramsey]

And there's not gonna be with Mexico. That's my opinion. But it may require that Mexico and Canada start treating American goods the way we treat their goods. Fair.

[Caller]

That's right. Nobody wants to get in a trade war.

[Dave Ramsey]

Nobody wants to pay 33% upgrade. Right. And we do today. And so. And they want the. He wants the borders closed. So. But I think that this is a negotiating ploy on those two countries. Now, I will tell you some of the other countries.

[Caller]

Absolutely.

[Dave Ramsey]

Where there's a massive trade deficit and there is a tariff offset. Like I'm talking about where. Let's say Vietnam, okay. Where we pay. If you want to bring American goods into Vietnam, you pay big money to do that. And if you want to chip American ship Vietnamese goods to America, you pay nothing. And the trade deficit is huge. Meaning that we import a lot more from Vietnam than we export to them. That's the trade deficit. So they are taking jobs from America in that sense and then they're charging overcharging for American goods coming in. So where he doesn't want a border closed with them, where he doesn't want something else in this negotiation, that one's probably in trouble. You're probably going to see one there.

[Caller]

That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

And then they're going to see if you're buying goods from Vietnam, you're probably going to see a huge increase in what the cost of that is. Like I'm outlining with Mexico as an example. And so. But I don't think Mexico or personally, I don't think Mexico or Canada, either one will ever see it. I think he was trying to get some other stuff and he threw a grenade in the middle of it. He's a New York street fighter and that's how he negotiates.

[Caller]

That's exactly right.

[Dave Ramsey]

We'll see.

[Caller]

He hasn't changed. Now let's bring this back to our every everybody else, not just Brianna, who asked this question. It's a good question, by the way. I can tell you this. If you're debt free and you're working your way through the baby steps, even though it's never fun to have your cost of your household goods or the things that you do go up, you can weather that storm. And people who stand on that debt free stage over there, they're never stressed about inflation. And so it's really important.

[Dave Ramsey]

And they're not picking up goods in their house going made in Mexico, wait a minute. Or made in Canada, wait a minute. That's right. There's probably not that much in your house that says that truthfully. Yeah. So, you know, I think it's going to shake out.

[Caller]

I think you're going to see the tax cuts extended, Dave. I think you're going to see deregulation.

[Dave Ramsey]

I don't, I don't. I don't think America wants a trade war with either one of their parts, either one of their border neighbors. I just really don't. We'll see. We'll see. Let me tell you one other principle that we can leave this alone. Get all the prognostication and bull crap out of the air. Don't act on worries that haven't happened.

[Caller]

Yeah, that's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

When it happens, you can think about it until it happens, it hadn't happened. Well, we might have a. We might have this or we might have that. It might snow, it might not. We might have a outbreak of the bird flu. We might not. We might have a. And we might not. And if you spend your life doing that, you're going to eat up all your calories and have no fun. So I'm serious. It's just don't do that on anything. Tariffs, politics, Trump being elected, Trump not being elected, whatever, whatever is you want to, you know, until it actually occurs and you actually see it in your hand messing with your wallet. Then I would start making some adjustments to offset and say, well, I'm gonna have to change the way I do that. But until then, it's all a bunch of malarkey on the news. And believe me, most of what's on the news is malarkey. This is the Ramsey Show. You shouldn't own a gun you're not willing to shoot in moments of self defense. A burner launcher lets you protect yourself in a non lethal way. That's exactly why burner launchers were created. Everyone from parents and nurses to pastors and even special forces veterans rely on Burna to protect themselves and their families. I own several burners myself. They look like guns, but they're not. They shoot a.68 caliber round, kinetic or chemical irritant projectile that can disable a threat from up to 60ft away. And they're powered by compressed CO2 cartridges, so they're classified with paintball and airsoft guns, but they're more powerful than those for increased protection. Not to mention, burner launchers are legal in all 50 states with no permits required. And because they're not firearms, they can be shipped directly to your door. Plus, Ramsay Fans can get 10% off an exclusive bundle which includes a burner pistol, CO2 cartridges and ammo. And other burner products like safety alarms, defense sprays and body armor are also 10% off. For our listeners, just go to Burna.com Dave that's B Y R N A.com Dave live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create actual amazing relationships. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Ken Coleman Ramsey, personality number one best selling authority and host of the brand new super popular podcast that we just launched called Front Row Seat. Be sure you check it out on Ramsey Networks. Open phones here at Triple 882-55-5225. Joe is with us in Salt Lake City. Hi Joe, how are you doing?

[Jeremy]

Good. How are you doing?

[Dave Ramsey]

Better than I deserve. What's up?

[Jeremy]

Hi, so I'm calling, I'm curious. So me and my girlfriend are going to be moving in together and I'm curious whether I should be covering the bills or not.

[Caller]

No.

[Jeremy]

All right. Are you ready for some context?

[Caller]

I was waiting on Dave on that one. That's why I got out the front.

[Dave Ramsey]

What's the context?

[Jeremy]

So I'm from Salt Lake City, she's from Salt Lake City. I work out of state, so I'm moving out of state to Cleveland, Ohio. She's going to be moving with me and her work is very clientele based, so she won't be having. She will have practically zero business out there. And I make more than enough to provide for both of us. And so.

[Dave Ramsey]

How old is.

[Jeremy]

Not necessarily that I need to. Sorry, say it again.

[Dave Ramsey]

How old is she?

[Jeremy]

We are both 19 years old.

[Dave Ramsey]

What does she do for a living?

[Jeremy]

Cosmetology. Does hair.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so she's going to give up her life and follow you and you're not even going to marry her?

[Jeremy]

I will, I will shortly.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, go ahead.

[Jeremy]

Like a year.

[Dave Ramsey]

Go ahead. Then if you were her dad, you'd tell her not to do this.

[Jeremy]

Yeah, I mean, I, I mean.

[Caller]

Or maybe.

[Jeremy]

No, I think I'm a good guy.

[Dave Ramsey]

I didn't think you're a bad guy. I just said marry the girl. Put a ring on it, buddy. That's all I said. Because I'm telling you, she's in danger. Not physically, not emotionally. You're not a bad guy. But she is very vulnerable economically because she's become dependent on a 19 year old that she's not married to in another city where she has no connections and no family and she has no income. She's vulnerable and it's not wise for her. And that vulnerability, that anxiety that goes with that is going to affect your relationship. And you guys don't see that. You're just young and in love and you think this is all going to work as long as the sex is good.

[Jeremy]

Yeah.

[Caller]

I mean, why a year from now? Hold on, let's play out your thing. You told Dave. Well, we're going to a year from now. So what's going to change between now and then for you to marry her instead of now? A year from now, what changes?

[Jeremy]

So I work, like, I just work in the summer months and, and so I'm. Look, I'm like waiting to get back from working for the year and being able to like actually have open time where then I could devote like majority of my energy, a majority of like what I need to emotionally to a relationship.

[Caller]

This is a disaster.

[Dave Ramsey]

Hey, listen, if you're going to do that, you know, that's when you get Married not. And moving in together is. She's. You would have to pay the bills because she has no money is the answer to your original question, isn't it?

[Jeremy]

Yeah. I mean, and she could get like a basic job, but.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, but I mean, she can't exist. She can't subsist if she follows this along without you. So she's trapped. That's what I'm telling you. And economically, and your brain knows the math and your body stores the stress from your brain and she can't keep that from happening. It's going to affect your relationship negatively. So if you're going to go do this, just call the preacher and say, hey, we want to get married before we move over there. It will change the environment because then she knows you're legally bound to care for her. She's legally bound to care for you because you legally don't own anything separately anymore because you're now what we call married. And so that's going to be healthier for her emotionally, for your relationship long term. And it will change everything. And if you're not able to commit to that emotionally, you should not put her in this state of vulnerability because you're a good guy and you wouldn't do that.

[Caller]

I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to take another tack here real quick. I think that you need to tell her it's a really bad idea and you've seen the light. And you guys need to figure out if you really do want to spend the rest of your life together, not play house. I would actually go. And she stays back home. You guys figure out if you can do a long distance relationship before you do this nonsense. If I was this girl's father, I'd be in your grill, man. That may not be popular, but I really don't care. I think this is crazy. I'd want you to prove to me as this girl's father that you're willing to be mature and put you two in front of your desire. I think that's what I would do. And see if she's willing to do it. See if you're willing to do the long distance relationship. And while I'm ranting when it's time, if you guys prove that you can do this, she can come visit for a little bit and get a job. I'm pretty sure they have plenty of hairdressers that need somebody to cut hair in Cleveland. So this is not this all in scenario, Dave. I don't like it.

[Dave Ramsey]

I think it's foolish, Joe, that. I mean, you called and ask, and we're being pretty brutal with you and messing up your plan. But. But that's, you know, what we're thinking, like here is like her old ugly uncle, because I pretty much qualify for all of that.

[Caller]

I think I'm handsome.

[Dave Ramsey]

But I said we. Me. But. Yeah, but I'm saying, you know, what would you do? And you said, I wouldn't. When I asked you, would you want your daughter to do this, you said no, wouldn't. So you need to think about how you answered that, because you answered that honestly. And I do think you're a good guy. I'm not questioning your integrity or your intent or anything, and I'm not saying you're a substandard person in any way, but there's implications to what you're doing that you don't know about or haven't thought through. And then I'll just stop a second and say that for the rest of you out there. Because today in America, more couples live together, not married than married statistically. Now, for those of you that grew up with Leave it to Beaver, in an alternative universe that's shocking to you, more people live together not married than married. The downside is that the data is now in. We see the data and we track the data. It's our world. And the data says that married couples far exceed unmarried couples living together in their financial goals and wealth building far exceed. The researchers call it the marriage advantage. And it's probably deeper than just combining of the two incomes and that kind of a thing. Our theory is. And we've not been able to research this and prove it, but you can just listen with me and think about it, guys. But our theory is simply this, that when both of you are permanently promised to each other's future with a contract called marriage, it causes a differentiation in your behaviors versus I've got to always have an out. I've always have an exit. I got to always have a. What happens if he moves out? What happens if he leaves me with these two kids? What happens if. You know all those kinds of things that can happen in marriage. It's called divorce. But you get this thing called child support, alimony, and half the assets. You don't get that when you're cohabitating, even with a cohabitation contract. They don't stand up in most states to the level that marriage does. So we can discuss how it gets there, but the data is undeniable. Married couples far exceed in wealth building to unmarried Couples living together far exceed. And you can just look at it through the wealth building lens or you can look at the add it through other. But that's the one that I've got data on. This is the Ramsey Show.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Have you gotten one of those texts recently claiming to be the USPS with some sketchy link to update your address? It's annoying and a little terrifying and you probably think to yourself, I should do something about this. But where do you even start? Well, as your nerdy friend who does the research for you, I found the solution. They're called Deleteme. And here's the reason they come in the clutch. The Internet is packed with data brokers, which are these shady companies whose sole purpose is to collect your personal info and sell it for a profit. Enter Deleteme. Deleteme swoops in, finds your info on these sites and removes it on your behalf. They even send you a report with all the details. And so far for me personally, they have reviewed 27,000 listings, removed my info from 240 data brokers, and saved me 66 hours in the process. I trust Deleteme to help protect my family and I trust them to help you too. You're gonna get fewer spam texts, fewer phishing emails, and fewer creepy robocalls. And Deleteme also makes a great gift for other people in your life that you care about. Individual plans start at just $9 a month, so take an easy step to protect yourself and your loved ones today. And as a Ramsey fan, you'll get an extra 20% off any of their plans. @joindeleteme.com Ramsey that's join DeleteMe.

[Rachel Cruze]

Hey guys, Rachel Cruze here. All right, I'm about to say what everyone already knows, but budgeting is a good thing to do now actually starting well, that's where people freeze up. And you guys, it doesn't have to be that way. With the EveryDollar budgeting app, getting started is super easy and so is sticking to it. You can set up your first budget in less time than it takes to go through the Chick Fil. A drive thru. It's fast. And the best part, with unlimited budget categories, you can customize it to fit your life. Grocery runs, coffee runs, or planning your next family trip. Whatever you have going on. Everydollar helps you see exactly what's happening with your money. You'll know what's coming in, what's going out, and what's left over for some fun. Because let's be real, you need some fun in your budget. Everydollar keeps budgeting simple and stress free, just the way you want it. So go download the app for free and get started today. Again, go download everydollar today.

[Dave Ramsey]

Ken Coleman Ramsey personality is my co host today. He is the host of the brand new show called Front Row Seat. Ken, Front Row Seat came out of the gate really fast, no pun intended. It's an interview program where you are the master interviewer, which you are are long form. One of the first ones you did was Nikki Haley.

[Caller]

That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

And Nikki's been a friend for years and of course was governor and ambassador of the UN Governor of South Carolina, ran for president, last one standing against Trump running for president on the Republican ticket. And she was a great interview.

[Caller]

Yeah, really, really great. You know, we did not talk politics, we talked leadership. Something that she knows a lot about having faced one of the biggest racial crises of our modern era. If you remember the tragic shooting in South Carolina, we talked about building a team. You know, she's been very successful in many walks of life. So the idea behind the show is very simple. We want to have the audience feel.

[Dave Ramsey]

As though and you have a live audience, live audience.

[Caller]

And so they represent the greater audience. When you see people sitting around or you hear them ask a question, if you're listening via podcast, they really symbolize you, the audience. And so we're very excited to, to bring this format, something I've always wanted to do. And it takes the level of I feel like I'm just an observer and it makes it feel like you're engaged. The team has done a great job. It's beautiful. If you want to watch it on YouTube, it's just a fabulous studio, very warm and inviting. And then of course the audio product on your favorite podcast app, it is a show that you're going to be challenged every time. You're going to learn something and we're going to challenge you.

[Dave Ramsey]

Most of the time you're doing about 80% of the question, answering, asking.

[Caller]

And the audience are doing about 20 a conversations. Not even so much just the back and forth question, but a conversation with me and the guest for probably you're right, 80% of it. And then the audience themselves at any time can interrupt and raise their hand and ask a question. We want that studio honest to feel free if you've heard something that you can jump right in and ask. And so once we get that finished product out, it's just a beautiful mix and people are really enjoying it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. And the first several out are in the can and you can watch them now on YouTube.

[Caller]

New episode comes out every Tuesday morning on YouTube. And your favorite podcast app.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yep. So you can get it as a podcast or as a YouTube product. And it's just really quality. We're real proud of it.

[Caller]

Give you an idea. Coming up this Tuesday, Will Guidera, who's a good friend of yours, become a friend of mine. We're talking about the number one restaurateur in the world. That is an unbelievably difficult honor to achieve. And he's probably now one of the foremost experts on how to just treat people well with his runaway bestseller, Unreasonable Hospitality. So that deep dive is great for leaders.

[Dave Ramsey]

The sad thing about Will is he's unreasonably nice.

[Caller]

One of the nicest people I've ever met.

[Dave Ramsey]

Ridiculous how nice he is.

[Caller]

It's true.

[Dave Ramsey]

And yet we're still friends. It's just. He's unreasonably nice.

[Caller]

Yeah, he's great. He's a great guy.

[Dave Ramsey]

Hey, be sure you tune in. You're gonna love it. And that, that particular episode I'll be watching because I love Will and I love his material and I love the way he thinks. And drop some gold on really, really good stuff. Yeah, I'm sure he had some mic drops in there. April's in Indianapolis. Hi, April. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

[Andrea]

Hi. Thanks for having me.

[Dave Ramsey]

Sure. What's up?

[Andrea]

So I'm wanting to know how I can help my 71 year old mother who has no retirement. She has a home and she's considering selling the home in order to be able to make it about 50 more years. But she's kind of in a rock and a hard place and I didn't know if there's a way she can invest a little or find a way to maybe get a little extra money.

[Dave Ramsey]

So she has no money?

[Andrea]

None at all.

[Dave Ramsey]

And what's the house worth?

[Andrea]

It's probably about 175,000. But then she has to decide whether to rent or to go purchase another, smaller home.

[Dave Ramsey]

Where does she live?

[Andrea]

She's in Evansville. And so Evansville, Kentucky. Indiana.

[Dave Ramsey]

Indiana. I'm sorry? Evansville, Indiana, and the border of Kentucky. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah. All right. Good news is it's not very expensive to live there. You're calling me from Newark or from Indianapolis, and that's a little more.

[Caller]

She has no income at all.

[Dave Ramsey]

She has Social Security.

[Andrea]

Well, she has Social Security, but she's afraid to get a job because then she'll lose her insurance, her Medicare.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, what is her Social Security? What's her income?

[Andrea]

She's only getting 900amonth about right now.

[Dave Ramsey]

Is she able to work?

[Andrea]

She is. She's actually. She's pretty stubborn. I love her to death, but she, she's very independent and kind. It's. And a bit stubborn, but I love her and I keep saying, well, maybe if you could do this or that. She's kind of very adamant about not being in a community or being somewhere because she's 71 in April, but she thinks she's 50.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, I know that. I know that feeling.

[Andrea]

Yeah.

[Caller]

What would you, what would you. If you could just snap your fingers and give her a job today, 40 hours a week and everything was just hunky dory. What, what would she do? What would you recommend that she would do just to bring in steady income?

[Andrea]

She's been a caregiver her whole life. CNA or an @ home caregiver. She actually left being a CNA to go take care of her mother at the last five years of her life. And that's kind of why she's in this position because.

[Dave Ramsey]

Where's your dad?

[Andrea]

Her dad?

[Dave Ramsey]

Your dad? Your dad.

[Andrea]

Oh, my dad. Unfortunately my dad is not in the picture. He's off doing his own thing somewhere.

[Dave Ramsey]

Divorced a long time ago.

[Andrea]

Yeah, okay. Yeah, divorced a long time ago.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. All right, well, so we've. The math will break your stubborn streak.

[Andrea]

I know, right?

[Dave Ramsey]

900 bucks doesn't pay for property taxes, insurance on $175,000 house and food and lights and water.

[Andrea]

Correct.

[Dave Ramsey]

Period. Period. It doesn't do it. Not even in Evansville, Indiana, which is a wonderful community to live in and very inexpensive to live in compared to most places, especially metro areas. So yeah, she could sell her house and buy a $75,000 one bedroom condo there probably. That's probably real. And they would, probably wouldn't be in the ghetto, right. Probably wouldn't be in the slums. And so it's not gonna be great, but it'll be, you know, at least a place to live. And renting is not an option because rent goes up every year and she'll run through her money. It's not gonna go up as fast as Social Security. So she's working. That's her only choice. It's her only choice.

[Andrea]

Well, then how do you navigate the not having insurance then? She's.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, you're gonna have to work on. You're gonna have to work on talking to, finding out what Medicare does do in those situations and finding out exactly what the guidelines are. I don't Know them off the top of my head and start talking to insurance agents and finding ways to get care covered. But she's going to burn through the money from the house because you can't live on 900 bucks, right?

[Andrea]

Well, she was living off the inheritance or the money that was left to her from her brother when he passed.

[Dave Ramsey]

But it's going to be gone.

[Andrea]

Oh, it's almost already gone. That's why she's kind of in this position.

[Dave Ramsey]

And then the money from the house will be the next thing that's gone. And then we're going to be back in this position because we don't want to admit that 900 bucks won't work. It won't work it. And so you don't have a choice. One of you, somewhere there's going to be some money into this picture. Now maybe you start giving her money, I don't know. Or your brother who's a dentist. I don't know. I made that up. But I don't know who's giving her money. But somebody's giving her money. They're going to give her money, money to work or kids are going to support her because she can't make it on that.

[Andrea]

Right.

[Caller]

I, I just did a quick search while you guys were talking. There are five big box stores in Evansville, Indiana. You know them, I don't need to say them. And then I searched one of the biggest ones and they have a hundred plus jobs right now available and a 71 year old lady who's healthy, who's mature.

[Dave Ramsey]

She is.

[Caller]

I, I don't know that because I didn't click on it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Probably 20, 25 bucks and that's what.

[Caller]

The math has got to be. So I did that search because while Dave was talking, if this were my mom and that's what you call Nastas, then I would be going, mom, let's run the numbers and you get into one of those stores, you're probably going to get some healthcare options. If not, it's still a math game and more money coming in. But she needs income. And I think at a healthy 71 with a smile and great work ethic, I think there'd be plenty of box stores that would love to take care.

[Dave Ramsey]

Of her and a caregiver probably make more than she'd make there and probably with the right care organization.

[Caller]

Yeah, that was just a quick search.

[Dave Ramsey]

Hospital or whatever, you could get some health care.

[Caller]

I great point. On any health care facilities in the area.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, okay, check on that. But I think mom, she's, I Don't know how you help her grasp this, but the math is going to be forced upon her.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

And she's going to have to create some income. And the more income she creates, the sooner the bigger chance we can build to be be to build a little bit of a nest egg to make it all the way through this and not have to work until you're 92. You know, this is why you invest $100 a month from age 25 to age 65 in a decent mutual fund is $1,176,000. And you don't have that trouble if you're 25 and you're listening to me. Listen to her story. Hey, listen up. Everyone is at risk of identity theft. I don't care if you're a hermit living off the grid to the show on a battery powered radio. All of your data collected by every company you've ever done business with lives online. Your bank, your doctor's office, retailers, the apps on your phone, the gas station where you have loyalty rewards. They all store your info online, making them ripe for a cyber attack or data breach. That's why I've been telling people for almost 25 years they need an ID theft protection plan. And the only one I've ever recommended is from Zander Insurance. They monitor your personal and financial info, even your home title, and take over the work if you become a victim. It's the most thorough and affordable plan out there. I even have it for my family and our entire team. Visit Zander.com or call 800-356-4282.

[Caller]

Hey guys, Dr. John DeLoney here. Finding time to intentionally connect with your spouse can be hard. That's why I'm excited to announce that money in marriage getaway is back. Hang out with me and Rachel Cruz November 6th through 8th in Nashville, Tennessee. You'll learn practical tools to better communicate, deepen your intimacy and more. Plus, we'll dig into your questions with live Q and A's. Early bird tickets start at $749, but hurry. Prices are going up soon and this will sell out. Get [e-mail] events.

[Dave Ramsey]

Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality is my co host on the debt free stage in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions. Andrea is with us. Hi Andrea, how are you?

[Luke]

I'm great. How are you?

[Dave Ramsey]

Better than I deserve. Where do you live?

[Luke]

I live in Fort Myers, Florida.

[Dave Ramsey]

Excellent. Welcome to Nashville and here to do a debt free scream. How much have you paid off?

[Luke]

$121,100.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right, very good. How long did that take?

[Luke]

28 months.

[Dave Ramsey]

Good for you and your range of income during that two and a half years.

[Luke]

85,000 to 135.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow. Nice jump in two years. What do you do for a living?

[Luke]

I am an insurance agent.

[Dave Ramsey]

Ah, okay. Why did your income go up so much?

[Luke]

Well, I worked, and then also my book of business was growing as time went on.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you just built a business. Built a business. But you had a real reason?

[Luke]

Yeah, I paid off my house.

[Dave Ramsey]

Whoa. Small mortgage. And knocked it out.

[Luke]

Yeah, sure did.

[Dave Ramsey]

Very cool. What's this house worth in Fort Myers, Florida?

[Luke]

Well, my neighbors are selling theirs next door, and it's around the 2, 270.

[Caller]

Wow.

[Dave Ramsey]

Good for you. Way to go. And how much in your retirement nest egg?

[Luke]

140.

[Dave Ramsey]

And how old are you?

[Luke]

I am 33. Nope, I lied. I'm 32.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's okay. You're rushing this. You're just rushing it. Way to go.

[Luke]

Thank you.

[Dave Ramsey]

So proud of you. You're amazing.

[Luke]

Thank you.

[Dave Ramsey]

You have to feel like you have a superpower.

[Luke]

I do, yeah. It's a great feeling. You know, you don't realize how much money is going away until you can start keeping all of it.

[Dave Ramsey]

What started all this two and a half years ago? You were just kind of going along, being normal. Yeah. You were really in good shape. You only had a house payment. True.

[Luke]

I mean, I did have debt prior, but I was always trying to get rid of it as much as possible. And then when I started it, I really felt that I purchased it back in 2019, that it wasn't going quick enough. So I came around you in 2022. So I thought, okay, how can I get this going quicker? And I came across you in that summer. And then actually shortly after, we were affected by Hurricane Ian. So before I could go after the house payment, I had to do some repairs.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Luke]

And then it wasn't until that new year in 2023, I really started to get aggressive and met making these little goals for me because I just wanted to be done with it and I really wanted to own my own house and be able to do it all.

[Caller]

I'm impressed by. I mean, this is, you know, about 60,000 a year, roughly. Yeah, you really went after it pretty hard. How did that change your lifestyle? And did you have second thoughts about it? And if so, how did you stay the course?

[Luke]

I worked a lot, so I couldn't have to spend it.

[Caller]

Right.

[Luke]

And then what really helped me is the goal that I wanted, I started to do too strong of Goals to see how close I could get to them, but I ended up succeeding on them. So when I was doing the first year, I wanted to get under 100, and then I did that with just a couple thousand under. So then I wanted to really be able to do a bigger goal at 50,000, and I thought that was impossible in a year, so then I surpassed that. But I had these little mini goals throughout the way to make sure I was on track and just be able to have that accountability that I'm doing it correctly because I wasn't great at the budget. I just wanted to be able to do the. Each little goal, to feel that I'm.

[Dave Ramsey]

Doing a great job, love that I'm a salesperson, and I know that when I've got something I'm aiming at that I need that I want the money for. It makes me work a little longer, make four more calls, make sure I answer every single thing. I wring every drop out of the wash rag before I go home, because I'm trying to get there on everything. And if I don't have that, then I'm a little bit lazier. And so you were leaning in, weren't you? You were making every stinking closing.

[Luke]

I was.

[Dave Ramsey]

You're closing every deal. So. But you. The interesting thing is you're 33 and you. You never really had huge debt. I mean, your mortgage is smaller than most people's student loans.

[Luke]

Originally it was 151. I bought the house.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, yeah.

[Luke]

Sorry, but you're killing it. It was a good time to buy.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you must have grown up with parents that had common sense.

[Luke]

Yeah, I sure did.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, who's this over here in the gallery?

[Luke]

That's my grandparents.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so that's where the common sense really came from.

[Luke]

Yeah. And my mom's here, too.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, Mom's there.

[Caller]

Hi, Mama.

[Dave Ramsey]

Way to go. Well, they are. They're all here cheering your own because they're real proud of you. But you're the product of the way they have lived their lives, too.

[Luke]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Luke]

They taught me everything.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. I mean, 33 years old and not over your head drowning in four or five hundred thousand dollars worth of miscellaneous. Everything is unusual, you know, And. And. But you just had a small one and then you just killed it. You slayed it. You took a machete to it. You're something, man. That's so powerful. Powerful. So you have no house payment, no payments of any kind. You are officially weird.

[Luke]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

How does that feel?

[Luke]

It feels great. It really does. I didn't think I was going to be emotional, but yeah, it's a. It's a great feeling where I just don't have to rely on anything, where it's all. I have control.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Luke]

In that situation where if something's going wrong, I know I can. I. I really love when you said, I can't control what's going on in the White House, but I can control what's in my house. And that meant a lot.

[Dave Ramsey]

Sorry. That's okay.

[Caller]

No apologies.

[Dave Ramsey]

What you're showing is that when you set all this debt down that everyone else is carrying, they're walking around holding their breath and you can breathe. That's all you're showing and it changes everything. So you're fabulous.

[Luke]

Thank you.

[Dave Ramsey]

You're a rock star man too. You're amazing. I'm so proud of you. Very, very well done. What do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is?

[Luke]

Set a goal that's important. I mean.

[Dave Ramsey]

And the mini goals.

[Luke]

The mini goals, yes. I didn't have an accountability partner with me, but listening to you guys every day was my accountability, where I was making sure that I was staying on track and then just having the mini goals, knowing that you're still going on that trend. Because when you're doing a whole year, a lot can happen in that year. So when I was doing monthly or weekly goals, that's really what helped me get that motivation of I'm doing everything correctly.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, but you're a numbers girl.

[Luke]

Yeah, I am.

[Dave Ramsey]

And so those numbers were your accountability partner. You're looking at them and they're screaming at you.

[Luke]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Get after it or you're doing good. They're talking back to you. Yeah.

[Caller]

You know what I love about this, Dave? You've taught for years at Entree Leadership. You know, your number one best selling book about goal setting and realistic goals, achievable goals. And I love that's what you've got with these weekly and these monthly. Real curious. Give us a real examples of. I think people out there that are listening, watching could get something from that. Give us an example of that yearly goal and then break it down on what you did on a weekly and a monthly.

[Luke]

Yep. So then I would just. When I wanted my mortgage to be at 50,000 at the end of the year, I broke it down monthly to every two weeks of where it should be at if I was making extra payments. So I knew by September it had to be at this amount of money if I was going to be on track. So at the end I knew in 2024. I was going to pay off the house, but then I made another goal to be more aggressive, to have it paid off before my birthday. So I was at least keeping track of where I was at in the year. But I had another line of where I needed to be if I wanted to supersede it earlier in that year.

[Dave Ramsey]

And that was so firmly seared into your brain that you forgot how old you were a minute ago. Yeah, by my birthday. And you beat your birthday so you thought you were 33. Because it was by my birthday. Yeah. I love it.

[Caller]

That's good.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's good. I like this. That tells how much emotion you put into this. Yeah, that's. That's fabulous. Good for you.

[Luke]

Thank you.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well done. Well done, man. That's. That's a put you in a different place. You're a different kind of salesperson now.

[Luke]

Yeah, I don't need to make the sale now.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. And you didn't need to before.

[Luke]

Correct.

[Dave Ramsey]

But now you don't have any reason except doing the right thing for the people, making sure they get the right coverage. Yeah. Good for you. Well done. Well, I'm sure Grandma and Grandpa and Mom are proud. I'm sure that's why they're here cheering you on. We're proud of you, rock star. You're a hero. You're absolutely amazing. Andrea. Is it Andrea or Andrea? It's both, but no, which is it? Andrea? I'll get it right. I'll get it right. Andrea from Fort Myers, Florida. 121,000 paid off in 28 months. You're looking at a millennial with a paid for house. You know how much whining I heard in this discussion? Zero. I'm telling you, the millennials are out there that are awesome and she is a representative of them. There's some of them that are amazing. And she's an amazing one. 28 months did this. Making 85 to 135. Count it down. Let's hear a debt free scream.

[Luke]

3, 2, 1. I'm debt free.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Amazing. I've lost hope that I'm ever going to buy a home.

[Caller]

The American dream is dead.

[Dave Ramsey]

The American dream is dead. I can't buy a home. Well, she just said hold my beer. I mean, come on. Wow. That's done. She just took away all your excuses out there. Some of you. Some of you can get with it. You can decide. I don't have to eat out every night. I don't have to have a Frou Frou pumpkin latte spice double bag, backflip. Every day. I mean, I don't. I can do all kinds of stuff. I can do all kinds of stuff if I have a goal. I'm 33 with a paid for house. What would you do to trade with her? What would you do?

[Caller]

Good question.

[Dave Ramsey]

To trade with her. Oh, maybe it's your turn. Yeah. You. This is the Ramsey Show. Running a business is freaking hard. It's easy to get caught up in the daily challenges and fears that keep you stuck. That's why I want you to reserve your copy of our new book, build a business you love, where we share the proven system that helped us break through those challenges and build Ramsey solutions. From a card table in my living room to a $250 million company in the process. When you pre order today, you're going to get more than $350 in bonuses for free, including an enhanced audiobook experience, early access to the build a business you love ebook, and instant access to our hiring playbook so you can start transforming your business right now. Build a business you love. The essential guide for every business owner like you that wants to grow yourself, lead your team and scale your business. To reserve your copy, go to ramseysolutions.com store ramseysolutions.com store after this segment, the rest of the show will be available only on the Ramsey app each day. And you can catch everything you want on YouTube and podcast. And after that, the rest of the show is on the Ramsey network app. It's completely free. There is no paywall. There is no. No salesman will call. We're not going to start charging for it. We use the Ramsey network app to give you things you can't get anywhere else. And we put everything else out here where you can get it for free. And so jump on this for free, download the app and stay tuned, you guys. On radio, stay tuned. You'll get what you've always gotten. We haven't changed any of that. And you know, finish the show in the Ramsey app and you can listen to the whole show in the Ramsey app and watch the whole show in the Ramsey app. So it's all there. Hey, guys, you don't want to miss our two night virtual event. Coming up, investing essentials. I've only done this one other time. George Campbell and I are getting together and George is doing a deep dive on some of the investing trends that are out there right now. Some of the detail of the Trump tax Act that looks like it's going through. We'll know by the time we do it that night if it does go through, we'll be able to tell you exactly what that means in your investing. If it means anything at all. If it doesn't affect it, we're not going to spend much time on it. But we'll go into that. I'm going to open up only for the second time ever. I did it about this time last year. We did one of these and I spent a whole two and a half hours on real estate. Investing in real estate. I own several hundred million dollars worth of real estate. I've been buying real estate since I was 18 years old. I actually went broke in the real estate business later doing stupid stuff. So I know what it looks like. I have a PhD in dumb. So yeah, I can pass along to you the real world knowledge there. And you know, we own several hundred million today. So I'm going to show you exactly how to do that. I've got a degree in real estate. It's what I love. It's my second favorite thing to do other than doing stuff around Ramsay. And we'll get all, we'll get into all of that. We're going to get into whatever. If there's anything at all. We don't know yet. But we'll see what happens with this tax act, if it even passes by then we'll get into that. And we're certainly going to get into all the fads and all the stuff that you hear about and the smart stuff that's out there and the dumb stuff that's out there and show you why and teach you to think properly about investing. It's a two night event. It's a lot of information. We're going to nerd out. If you want to just be entertained and giggle, don't come. You'll be asleep. Because we're going to go into the weeds, baby with the sickle and cut the weeds and run the snakes out. That's what we're doing. So you wanted the nerdville. George is natural at it, but I can do it. I know how to do it. My brain can do it. And so I forced myself for two nights. It's two hours each night, two different sets of materials. March 4th and March 5th. Tickets start at 199. You can get [e-mail] events. It is a virtual event. George Camel, Dave Ramsey Investing Essentials ramseysolutions.com 199 for March 4th and 5th. That's only what, two weeks away or something like that. So you probably ought to go and get like get on the Calendar get signed up. Honey, I'm going to be doing this. We're going to be doing this. We're going to turn it on Apple TV and put it up on the TV and watch it or however you techno people do that stuff. Right? So there we go. Atlanta, Georgia. Luke is with us. Hey, Luke. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

[Ken Coleman]

Hey, thanks for having me on the call. I love the show. My question is 50% of my income is in my housing and I have 190,000 in stock. So should I sell the stock and recast my mortgage to lower my monthly payment?

[Dave Ramsey]

What do you owe on the house?

[Ken Coleman]

I owe 402,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. What do you make?

[Ken Coleman]

I make. I bring home 6,300 per month before 401k.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you, you can't. You have a lot of money in savings. That's the only way you can breathe because monthly.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. You're choking to death.

[Dave Ramsey]

You're choking to death, aren't you?

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Are you married?

[Ken Coleman]

I have. Yeah, I am married. So my, my parents and grandparents have been good to me and I have some savings. But yeah, we're not, we're not saving a whole lot each month.

[Dave Ramsey]

You're not breathing. I mean, you, I know what your budget looks like with what you're telling me. You have a $400,000 mortgage and a $6,300 home take home. I mean, you're starving to death.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, yeah. It is not a sustainable situation.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, it is not. So something's got to go. Is your income going to be changing? Positively.

[Ken Coleman]

Just got a new job and now I was making 85. Now I'm going to be making 95. And so that 6300 per month is from that 95. My new salary.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. What decision making framework or process allowed you to do something this stupid? Well, I mean, you signed up for death here, Right?

[Ken Coleman]

Right, Right. Yeah. So my wife had an income as well. When we first bought the house, her income was the same as mine, so it was much better. Then we had two kids and we decided that at some point we would have to either move or increase our income. And she wanted to. Or we decided that she would stay home with the kids, but we knew that we would have to either move or increase her income for that to happen. And so we're just getting there.

[Dave Ramsey]

And you didn't do it. And you didn't do either. You didn't. Well, you increased your income a little, but not enough to where you can.

[Caller]

Breathe a little bit.

[Jeremy]

It.

[Ken Coleman]

Right, right.

[Dave Ramsey]

I mean, you lost an $80,000 income and gained a, you know, $20,000 raise or whatever it is. Right. Okay. So the reason I'm digging around here is this. You can fix this with your suggestion. You drop 190 on this and you recast. You. You're going to have to refinance. It's not recast. They're not going to recast the mortgage unless you got a bank loan. But you could go. Just go get another mortgage. What's your current interest rate rate?

[Ken Coleman]

5.25.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Okay. So you can get another mortgage and not see much difference there. A little bit maybe, but it's not. Not appreciatively different. And you'll have a $200,000 loan, and you can afford that. Okay. Now if you do that, though, you don't get another one of these.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you guys really have to do an autopsy on. That's why I'm busting your chops on your decision making, because you can't sign up for this and go, yeah, but I don't want to work anymore. That's not an option. You just sold the house when you went home. Normal people don't have 190k in the bank to bail this out, and you won't next time. So the next time you do this, you're selling the house and moving down in house so she can be at home with the kids. And I'm okay with that decision. But make the decision. Don't stand around, act like nothing happened and starve to death because y'all are starving, man. I know what your budget looks like. I'm sad for you. The stress in your. That's running down your shoulder blades has got to be unbelievable.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. One other question is, you know, I had had questions about would I miss out on gains in the stock, and I kind of feel like I shouldn't worry about the gains and missing out on gains in the stock if, you know, if it's helping with my monthly budget. But how do you feel about that?

[Dave Ramsey]

You can't afford the house.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

If you want the gains, sell the house and move to a $200,000 house.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Which one do you want?

[Ken Coleman]

I want stability and a house. I don't really care about the gang.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. All right, then you made your choice. But you can't have both. Understand? Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

You can't keep this house the way it's set right now.

[Ken Coleman]

Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's killing you. You okay? You know, and don't do this again.

[Caller]

Yeah. I listen to this, and we hear this a lot. You know, I understand the wife wanting to come home and be with the.

[Dave Ramsey]

Children, but I concur. Do it.

[Caller]

But. But they should have made the choice on the house back then.

[Dave Ramsey]

Should put a house for sale. Sign the yard the day you do it.

[Caller]

I agree. You got to adjust your lifestyle when you adjust your life. In other words, they didn't adjust their lifestyle.

[Dave Ramsey]

Staying home with the children is the right decision. Yes, it is. But then there's math that goes with that. Okay, I'm with you on that. No problem. But there's math. You can't ignore the math. And you don't get a pass on math because you did the right thing. Math will still smack you upside the head. That's the problem with it. It's mean, it's nasty, it doesn't have feelings and it will just mess with you. And then you wake up and you can't sleep and you don't know why.

[Caller]

That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

And you're fighting with your spouse and you don't know why. I know why. Your house payment is 50% of your take home pay. You can't breathe. And this is what the number one cause of divorce in North America today. Money fights and money problems. And it's all exactly around issues that do stuff that sound like this. Sweet little people. Luke's a nice guy. He's a nice guy. Sell your house, Luke, or sell your stock by Friday. This week. Friday. This is the Ramsey Show.

[Caller]

The right questions are the key to unlock personal and professional potential. That means if you're not where you want to be, you are not asking the right question. I'm Ken Coleman and this is what my new show Front Row Seat is all about. Over my career, I've had the distinct privilege to interview successful people from all walks of life and to coach over 10,000 professionals who wanted more. What sets successful people apart is a never ending desire to learn and grow. Each week I'll be joined by industry leaders and world class experts to have a conversation about how to get better, move up and lead well in work and life. But the best part of this show is you get to be a part of the conversation. Live in studio, we'll have a group of professionals just like you who have the power to ask questions and steer the discussion in real time. It's an opportunity to get real answers to real questions like how to make the right decisions, have hard conversations, live a balanced life and discover your next steps to growth. Join us every Tuesday for conversations that are guaranteed to surprise, challenge and inspire you. Check out front row seat, wherever you get your podcasts.