Dwelling On Past Mistakes Won't Benefit Your Future Growth

Summary

The Ramsey Show – Episode Summary

Episode Title: Dwelling On Past Mistakes Won't Benefit Your Future Growth
Date: January 13, 2026
Hosts: Ken Coleman & Jade Warshaw
Podcast Theme:
This episode centers on empowering listeners to move beyond financial regrets and past missteps, emphasizing actionable steps for future success. Ken Coleman and Jade Warshaw field live calls, addressing challenges like debt, entrepreneurship, home buying, family dynamics, and setting boundaries, all with practical, no-nonsense advice rooted in Ramsey Solutions' approach. The core message: learn from your money mistakes but don’t dwell—take control and move forward.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Facing Business Failures & Debt (00:14–09:00)

Caller: Derek from Montana

• Derek and his wife started an arcade business with $25,000 in debt, now moved up to $68,000 total due to other ventures.
• Losses attributed to underestimating costs, missed advertising (no signage), and insufficient market traction.
• Equipment worth about half the debt ($10-12k).
• Current income barely covering debt payments—no profitability. Advice:
• Ken and Jade advise against bankruptcy; recommend taking a full-time job and using all available income to pay down debt aggressively, including selling assets if needed.
• “You're not going out to eat, you're not doing anything. You're selling a car if you need to, to clear this out very quickly." – Jade Warshaw (08:20)

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2. 401k Loans, Consumer Debt & Sacrifice (10:22–18:48)

Caller: Megan from Pittsburgh

• Facing a $15k 401k loan, $15k in credit card debt (from fertility treatments), $20k car debt, $45k student loans.
• Considering cashing out 401k to pay off loan. Advice:
• Absolutely do not cash out 401k—pay loan back to avoid taxes and penalties.
• Tackle 401k loan as a priority, then credit cards/cars.
• Consider selling cars for equity and driving beaters for a season.
• “We did three very extreme things…sold one car, moved in with roommates, slept on an air mattress. It's a short term sacrifice for a long term gain.” – Jade Warshaw (18:48)

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3. Home Value Anxiety & Section 8 Housing (21:37–27:42)

Caller: Mary from Rhode Island

• Concerned about dropping home values due to a new low-income/Section 8 development nearby. Advice:
• Consult 2-3 seasoned local real estate pros immediately for honest market assessment.
• Avoid catastrophic thinking; make decisions on facts not fears.
• Keep options open: “You can't be operating in really extreme falsehoods. ...Now we've got to make the best decision moving forward.” – Ken Coleman (23:31)

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4. Career Transition & Risk (27:43–31:25)

Caller: Vince from Denver

• Considering leaving law enforcement ($97k/year) for an apprenticeship as a journeyman lineman ($50-60k start, $230k after four years). Advice:
• Prepare thoroughly and stack up emergency fund during the 8–12 month application window.
• Family can tighten budget for the short-term salary dip; payoff down the line is worth it.
• “Would it be worth it all to make $230,000...I'm telling you I'm doing it if I'm you.” – Ken Coleman (30:49)

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5. Young Adult Facing Car Debt & Lifestyle Corrections (33:16–40:48)

Caller: Zach from Los Angeles, 22

• Has $25k car debt, credit cards, personal loan; trying to make ends meet working retail.
• Considers renting out car on Turo to make payments. Advice:
• Urged to sell car, buy a cheap beater, and hustle to increase income—not rely on gig fixes.
• Consider pausing college until financial footing is solid.
• “You're working retail right now and not getting more hours?...I would get out of that car.” – Jade Warshaw (35:49)

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6. Family Loans and Estrangement (43:26–51:38)

Caller: Álvaro from Houston

• Lent $14,000 to sister-in-law for a family business, which failed; no repayment after 8 years. Advice:
• Realistically, unlikely to recoup money. Either negotiate a small settlement or let it go emotionally.
• “The truth is, it's just as much your mistake as it is hers, because borrowing money between family members is a mistake.” – Jade Warshaw (50:28)

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7. Relationships, Autonomy, and Financial Trust (53:32–63:16)

Caller: Marley from Phoenix, 40s

• Wants companionship but not marriage due to financial autonomy fears rooted in childhood.
• Struggles with partners wanting more commitment. Advice:
• Suggested seeking therapy to process trust issues, reconsider beliefs about marriage and finances.
• “Something you witnessed has created...a massive hole of trust in your life...Get a really good therapist...” – Ken Coleman (61:22)

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8. Housing Policy & Market Trends Analysis (64:19–69:15)

• Discussed government efforts to make homes more affordable by buying mortgage bonds.
• Fundamental lesson: Interest rate drops increase demand and push prices up; don’t “time” the market—only buy when personally ready and house fits 25% income rule.

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9. VA Loans, Military Moves & Real Estate (70:14–74:07)

Caller: Linwood from Montgomery, active duty military

• Deciding between VA loan (lower payment, requires escrow) and conventional (can skip escrow).
• Plans to move in two years and rent out the house. Advice:
• Strongly advised NOT to buy with such an uncertain timeline; owning as a landlord overseas is risky.
• “We get this call all the time from military men and women...I would not get into the landlord business certainly when I'm overseas.” – Ken Coleman (73:36)

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10. Family & Retirement Boundaries (77:32–85:10)

Caller: Megan from Ohio

• Parents in their late 60s are unprepared for retirement and refuse to create a will or documents.
• Megan worries the responsibilities will fall to her. Advice:
• If they resist help, set boundaries. Communicate concerns and clarify that you may not be able to help financially if they don’t plan.
• “If nobody asked you, don't get involved.” – Jade Warshaw (84:39)

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11. Should I Pause Investing to Save for a Down Payment? (86:00–94:08)

Caller: Riley from Seattle

• Wondering if they should pause retirement investing for one year to aggressively save for a $200k down payment, given Seattle's hot market. Advice:
• Jade: Valid to pause; house is also an investment.
• Ken: Don’t feel pressured; look at all the numbers and trends, and don’t rush if life plans aren’t settled (especially if single).
• “How quickly do I want to get this done and out of my life? ...There's not a wrong or right answer.” – Jade Warshaw (91:51)

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12. How to Get a Good Job Without a Degree? (96:18–103:45)

Caller: Grace, age 20

• Aiming for government jobs with travel; about to start Navy boot camp; wants advice for herself and others who may not go military/college. Advice:
• Focus on skills, passions, and mission to guide career (recommends Ken’s “Get Clear Assessment”).
• Many paths don’t require four-year degrees—trades, training, apprenticeships all can deliver good pay.
• “Most of the time you’re going to find you don’t need a college degree that you can work your way into that.” – Ken Coleman (100:49)

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13. Teaching Financial Lessons to Your Kids (117:29–123:49)

Caller: Jennifer from San Francisco

• Wants to be transparent with her 17-year-old son about her past financial missteps so he doesn’t struggle. Advice:
• Share “big mistakes” (e.g., not budgeting) and lessons learned. Let him make some mistakes and be available to discuss, resisting the urge to “clean up” or hover.
• “Kids will listen to our pain more than they will our advice.” – Ken Coleman (119:03)

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14. Budgeting with Irregular Income, New Baby & Career Change (124:02–126:11)

Caller: Sean

• Starting a new sales job, Army Reserve income, baby on the way, struggling to begin budgeting. Advice:
• Base budget on worst-case (lowest possible) month; as income stabilizes, adjust; aim to build a buffer/cushion.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “You're not going out to eat, you're not doing anything. You're selling a car if you need to, to clear this out very quickly."
  — Jade Warshaw (08:20)

• “You need to get more money and you need to offload this car.”
  — Ken Coleman (37:20)

• “The truth is, it's just as much your mistake as it is hers, because borrowing money between family members is a mistake.”
  — Jade Warshaw (50:28)

• “There is no way to structure these relationships with romance and then a lack of trust around finance. You just can't do it.”
  — Ken Coleman (61:22)

• “How much do I value having this house? ... I value doing it faster than I value putting aside the extra money in retirement. So I'm just going to do it.”
  — Jade Warshaw (91:51)

• “Kids will listen to our pain more than they will our advice.”
  — Ken Coleman (119:03)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:14 – Show starts; Burnout & financial issues
• 01:09 – Derek (business debt, bankruptcy fears)
• 10:22 – Megan (401k loan vs. debt, fertility expenses)
• 21:37 – Mary (section 8 near her home)
• 27:43 – Vince (changing careers, lineman apprenticeship)
• 33:16 – Zach (22, car debt, should he sell)
• 43:26 – Alvaro (family loan gone bad)
• 53:32 – Marley (autonomy and relationships)
• 64:19 – Discussion on housing affordability and policy
• 70:14 – Linwood (VA loan vs. conventional, military)
• 77:32 – Megan (parents unprepared for retirement)
• 86:00 – Riley (pause retirement to save for house?)
• 96:18 – Grace (good-paying job without degree)
• 117:29 – Jennifer (teaching finances to her son)
• 124:02 – Sean (budgeting with new variable income)

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

Ken and Jade deliver no-fluff, practical coaching with a direct but empathetic approach. Their advice consistently comes back to personal responsibility, self-discipline, and being willing to make uncomfortable but necessary sacrifices for long-term gain. “Normal is broke. Common sense is weird.”—the show’s tagline—frames the episode: if you want different results, you must make uncommon decisions.

If you haven’t listened:
This episode provides great encouragement for anyone struggling with regret, overwhelm, or uncertainty about financial mistakes. The hosts’ real talk, specific methods, and vulnerable caller stories are a reminder that while you can’t change your past, you can always rewrite your financial future by taking action—one smart decision at a time.

Transcript

[Sponsor/Announcer]

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[Ken Coleman]

Normal is broke. Common sense is weird. So we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network in the Fair Winds Credit Union studio, this is the Ramsey Show. 888-8255. 225 is the number. Ken Coleman alongside the fabulous, the incomparable Jade Warshaw. And we're going to team up so she'll take lead on the money question. So obviously all the money questions, but how about I'm burned out. I don't have any life balance. We just did a recent survey and found out that those are the two number one issues among professionals and those have financial ramifications. So we'll dive into some of those as well. Come one, come all. Derek in Montana is going to start us off today. Derek, how can we help?

[Caller]

Ken, Jade, it's great to be with you guys. Thank you so much for taking my call.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Sure.

[Ken Coleman]

What's going on today?

[Caller]

Well, basically the gist of it is I'm trying to find out or figure out if you will, if maybe I should just file bankruptcy and start all over. Kind of got myself into some pickles here.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, give us a picture. What are you facing?

[Caller]

So we started a business. My wife and I started a business here, local, where we're at was going okay. And then we decided to try to enact or start up a something for the community and like an arcade and brought in some people to help us out. They had the games, we had the space. And so we were putting that together. We encountered some issues with the way things were operating, so we thought we would branch out and get our own equipment. And things just have not turned out to come to fruition.

[Jade Warshaw]

So what have you spent on getting this arcade up and running?

[Caller]

So right now we're about 25,000 in debt on just the arcade.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, and how long is this? How long have you been in this business venture? Has it been a year, six months more?

[Caller]

We are about a year and nine months.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. And what's, what's the issue? Is it people just aren't showing up? Is it the prices are hot or too low, but when we raise them, it doesn't work out? Like, what's the problem?

[Caller]

Yeah, people just have not showed up. So we were unaware of some of the startup cost from the bank to obtain the debt. And so when we went to go sign the papers, it was, by the way, here's, you know, some additional fees that need to get paid. And instead of going back to underwrite the additional fees to make sure that we were going to be able to make it happen. I said, I'm sure it'll be fine. I can figure it out. So that ended up chewing up all of our marketing and advertising budget. And so I kind of started out behind the ball on it and tried to play catch up the whole time and it just never happened.

[Jade Warshaw]

How much was the advertising and marketing budget? Like how much did you see yourself spending per month or whatever it was that this debt ate up?

[Caller]

About 2000 initially.

[Ken Coleman]

Are you in a high trafficked area or kind of tucked away where nobody knows where you are?

[Caller]

So the space is in a very high traffic area.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay.

[Caller]

Or was, I should say. So we closed down the location, moved out the games to a new location. Hopefully that pays off and then just reducing the overhead. So for the last year, we have just dumped all of our personal income. My wife's personal income. I'm self employed, so I don't have any. All of her W2 into maintaining and keeping things afloat. Trying to anyways.

[Ken Coleman]

Well, you mean when you say her income, you mean any kind of margin that you guys have above all your personal bills. Then you're taking the surplus, for lack of a better word, and you're pouring that into the business. Is that what I'm understanding?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

How much is the equipment worth? The all the games themselves if I.

[Caller]

Were to sell it right now? Yeah, probably maybe 10 12.

[Jade Warshaw]

So half.

[Caller]

Yeah, roughly.

[Jade Warshaw]

Can I ask a quick question before we keep going down that trail? Because I do want to keep going down that. Do you honestly now, in your heart of hearts, after you've seen how this has played out over the last over 12 months, the 2000. Because here's where my mind goes, Ken. If you had a $2,000 a month ad spend or marketing spend and that is now eaten up in fees that you didn't know were going to be there? My first intuition would be like, well, there's nobody at the arcade. How can I go out and earn this money elsewhere so that we can get our ad spend up so that we can get people in the doors? Which leads me to ask, do you believe that even if you had spent that 2000, you wouldn't have be. You wouldn't have been able to get those folks in the door? Is that what you're realizing or do you just not know?

[Caller]

I don't know. I do believe that with the ad spend and being able to put signage on the building and the things that we were not able to do.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh there's no sign on the building. There's no sign on the building.

[Caller]

I couldn't get the signage. Not appropriately.

[Ken Coleman]

Well, but now we're, see, I think we're, now I think we're majoring on the minors.

[Jade Warshaw]

I'm just trying to see if there's something here that's salvageable.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, the equipment. Now again, you may have a different take. I'm just sitting here listening.

[Jade Warshaw]

Well, there's no sign on the building. So nobody was going to go up in there.

[Ken Coleman]

I know, but he's in a new location. He's not even in a high traffic location anymore. Correct.

[Caller]

So we put the games in a separate business that has traffic, that is separate in and of itself. You know, bowling alley, restaurant.

[Jade Warshaw]

So you're renting them establishment, you're renting them to these places?

[Caller]

We're doing what is a profit share. So now I'm just getting a cut off of whatever they make.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh gosh.

[Ken Coleman]

And you can't make a living on, you cannot make a living on this. Yes or no?

[Caller]

No. That is, that is my hope for this is that we can just make enough to pay the payment for the debt for those gains.

[Ken Coleman]

And that's what I'm bringing back up. I think the question, I want to come back to the question at hand that you ask. Should you file bankruptcy? I don't think so. I think you can pay the 25 off.

[Jade Warshaw]

What's your wife.

[Caller]

25, what's that? It's not just that 25.

[Ken Coleman]

What's your total debt amount?

[Caller]

Just shy of 68,000.

[Ken Coleman]

68,000?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Ken Coleman]

All right, I'll defer to Jade. I, you know, this is not a viable business. So yeah, at this point, if you can get your money back on these machines over time and pay this debt off and then shut it down, but you need a full time job. I'll just throw that out there.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah, I, I agree with ken. At the 25, 000, I'm looking 25000 in one year. I'm thinking there's something that can be saved here. Possibly. But now what you've told me with the 68 000, I think that you need to, you know, cut your losses here. What's your wife earned? What's your wife's income?

[Caller]

She makes about 75 a year.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. Now this business your only debt or do you have other, I'll call quote unquote personal debt to add to the pile?

[Caller]

So, so the arcade is roughly about 25 in debt. I have my other business that I was, that was my main source of income. And because of the issues that we had with the arcade, I kind of took my focus in.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, I'm going to cut you off because we're running out of time. If the total of your all debt altogether is 68,000 like I think that it is, you need to pick up full time job yesterday, take your wife's income and you're going to pay this off as quickly as possible. You're not going out to eat, you're not doing anything. You're selling a car if you need to, to clear this out very quickly.

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[Ken Coleman]

Let's go to Megan, who's joining us now in Pittsburgh. Megan, how can we help today?

[Caller]

Hi, thanks for having me.

[Ken Coleman]

Sure.

[Caller]

So I have a 401k loan and I'm not sure how to proceed. Just given some different options. I just learned that I do have a cash out option. So, for example, the 401k is about 30,000. The loan is 15,000. Like after all the math and everything, if I were to walk away from it and cash out my 401k, I would walk away with that loan being paid and they would cut me a check for $11,000.

[Ken Coleman]

You don't want to do that, Jad.

[Caller]

Yeah, I want to make a smart decision.

[Ken Coleman]

Well, that's, I'll start there. Yeah, I literally cut you off because I'll let Jade explain why. But you do not want to take this option.

[Jade Warshaw]

Well, number one, you've, you've made, you've made a Mistake, which is. Okay, we all make mistakes, especially when we don't know better. When you took that loan pre retirement, obviously you were hit with a 10 penalty and it's going to affect your income taxes. And you unplugged the investment. Right. You unplugged the growth that has been accumulating. Knowing that, let's not turn around and do the same thing again and unplug the rest of the. The investment just to get $11,000 back. Okay, let's solve the problem that we made on accident and let's solve it on purpose. So if I were you, the $15,000 loan, I'd just pay it back. I'd pay it back. Because the thing with 401k loans is obviously they're tied to your employer and if for some reason you are fired, that loan becomes due and it's got a time period on at that point. Sometimes it's a year, sometimes it's more. So that's why I don't like these hanging around. And if you knew that, that might be why you're considering this. But I would not unplug the rest of my growth to get out of this faster. I'm sure there's some other fees around that. So let's look at your income and let's look at what we can actually do to get this thing knocked out.

[Ken Coleman]

Sure.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, so what is your income?

[Caller]

140 household.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. And is this 401k loan? I'm guessing it's not your only debt. It sounds like you got up against it. So tell me about your other debts.

[Caller]

Yeah, so we do have some consumer debt. It's due to. It was due to fertility treatments.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Caller]

So it just racked up really quickly. And we have baby, so that's great. But racked up really quickly. So we have some consumer debt. We're looking at about k for the 401k loan. About 15k in credit cards. That's putting the medical stuff on it. We both have a car payment total on the cars is 20.

[Jade Warshaw]

Tell me broke. Break them down for me. The two.

[Caller]

Yeah, we. We both owe about 10 on each of our cars.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. And that's it.

[Caller]

Other than that student loan debt, we're looking at about 800amonth. What's the total balance on that? I think we're. We're at 45, if I recall correctly.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, and is that it or is there more?

[Caller]

That's it.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. The 140k, is that just you or that's you and your husband combined?

[Caller]

Combined.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. Yeah. Congratulations on the baby. We've got to get. Get through this. And I think with the cars. Yeah, you're likely. It's best to just keep those and knock them out quick. But I would. You've got the 15,000 on the 401k and 15,000 or the credit. Are the credit cards. Is it one credit card or is it multiples?

[Caller]

It's one.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. Yeah, I'm going to. I would probably. I'm thinking about Ramsey Verse and I know that in the Ramsey Verse, there's certain things that we move to the top of the list. Things like IRS debt and a 401k loan. I'd probably move that right up there because of the implications on it. If you're in the chats and you disagree with me, you can let me know later. But I'd probably get into that pretty quickly.

[Ken Coleman]

Do you have any equity on the cars?

[Caller]

Yeah, we do.

[Ken Coleman]

How much equity? Each car?

[Caller]

Yeah, the last list, the last thing we got from like Carvana or something. I can go to Kelly Blue Book later. But my car is worth about 15. There's about 10 left on it. And then. And that's why. Because we were working on the cars first and I was like, we might need to recircle. 15. And my loan is about 10,000. And then his is. It's right about the same 14.

15.

And there's about 10 left on it.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. And the reason I asked those. Those questions is because if we can sell one of the cars, you know, get a hooptie for a. For a short season. I'm with Jade. Because of the precarious nature of this 401k loan, I would want to put that 15k back in there. I really would.

[Jade Warshaw]

I would probably. Since you have the. Since you have 15,000 on the credit cards and 15,000 on the 401k, I'd kind of view those as interchangeable. I mean, technically, you should do smallest to largest. How. I don't even wanna ask you how stable your job is, but the point is. Let's just say the point is it is stable.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, great.

[Jade Warshaw]

Then let's do it.

[Caller]

I know the answer to the question. Not to cut you off there. So if I were to leave, the payments would actually just come with me. It's not due immediately, so I have vetted some of those questions.

[Jade Warshaw]

Good.

[Caller]

So it would just continue on. Right. Which isn't great, but good to know.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah, it is good to know. But the goal here is for you to knock this out as quickly as possible. And that's gonn that's going to take some sacrifice on you guys. In 401k loan aside, the debt in total is a problem. And so I'd be looking at ways that you can cut back your income. Have you guys gotten on a budget yet?

[Caller]

Yeah, we're in every dollar.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, great.

[Ken Coleman]

What are those car payments?

[Caller]

Car payments are. His is about 350. We look at my notes and mine is 1 182.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah, yeah. I'd be looking in there and saying, okay, what's our margin? Since you're in it, do you know off the top of your head what your margin is?

[Caller]

About a thousand a month.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. So the way I would look at this is I'd look at $1,000 a month and I go, oh my gosh, if I do it like this, it's gonna take me five years. Right. It's gonna take me forever. So I'd work, I'd reverse engineer that and I do the math on that and say, I wanna be done with this in like two years. Like no more than two years. And then I would figure out with your husband and how much do we need to pay on this every single month in order for us to be done with the entire amount of debt in two years? And then the equation becomes, if it's 20, you know, $2,000 or $2,500, you have to then say, okay, how do we then go get this money? I feel like that's a better way to attack this. That way everything's on your terms based on it just kind of happening to you. You get to have real skin in the game and make. Make a plan for what you want to happen and then go out and make that happen.

[Caller]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Jade Warshaw]

Fair enough. So that's what I would do. And I definitely would not take any of the options that you mentioned earlier that involve you clearing out the remainder of the 401k. Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

Now this is very doable. Now it's not going to be fun. And I'm hinting around on the cars. I don't know if you're catching my hints with all these questions, but you guys are in a pretty rare situation when we get calls where people actually have some equity.

[Caller]

And.

[Ken Coleman]

And at this stage of the game, I wonder if it's not worth both of you selling your cars and buying two $5,000 cars. If that's the equity situation, if you can pay it off, if they're both worth that, that'd be something I would look at because that's going to free up Some monthly money and that gives you that urgency to go, okay, I want to get out of this quickly. So, you know, if you've got equity in the cars and I would double, triple check all that and you can get out of there and get to walk away with some cash and pay cash for two cars. That's a listen that propels you. And Jade, you could speak to this. That propels you into the intensity that I think you need to have to kind of go, oh, I don't love the fact that we just got rid of our car. And I know it's an extreme situation.

[Jade Warshaw]

It's, you know what, you get to be extreme as you want to be. And, you know, I'll push people towards the extreme because at the end of the day you're going to get stuff done faster. I was writing an article today for one of these outlets and I was saying how when Sam and I were getting out of debt, we did three very extreme things. Very extreme. Yeah, we moved out of our apartment, moved into a townhouse and got roommates. It took our rent from $1,200 a month to $600 a month. We sold off. We were a two car family. We sold one, it was a 35, $34,000 H3, $435 a month payment freed up $435 and we didn't get a beater. Instead we just became a one car family. And then we sold off all of the furniture that was part of our rooms to go loan and instead we bought an air mattress and slept on that. So very, very extreme. But it's a short term sacrifice for a long term gain. And it's up to you how, how bad you want to get out of it and how long you want that sacrifice to last. You got to go extreme if you want to get out of it quick. Scorched. We all want peace.

[Caller]

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[Ken Coleman]

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[Ken Coleman]

All right, let's go to Providence, Rhode island, next. Mary joins us there. Mary, how can we help?

[Caller]

Hi, I have a question. So they're putting in low income housing literally across the street from us, about 600ft from our house. We still owe 150 in mortgage, but we got a really good deal on this house like five years ago because it was a direct sale and we knew the folks that were selling it. We have some really, really good neighbors. My husband now just works 10 minutes from the house when he was before commuting about an hour and a half. And I have a three year old and a one year old and we're planning on having another. So we're just trying to figure out if we should move because if we move anywhere, it's kind of we won't be able to afford it. Like whatever we get on this house will likely be less. And if we stay, from what I read, when Section 8 goes in about the housing market, the area loses about 40% of market value.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. Okay, well, let's take a deep breath. Okay. Because I would have all those same concerns that you have. Legit concerns. But we have to parcel out the concerns versus the facts and see what the risk is. This is all about mitigating risk. Right. What are your neighbors saying? Is anybody else as informed as you are? Are they more informed? What do we know?

[Caller]

More informed. Some of us like, so we've gone to our town meetings and basically the town voted no, but the state came in and overrode us and said, too bad, you have to do it. And our neighbor has lived here like they're in their 60s and they both grew up in the neighborhood, so they don't want to leave.

[Ken Coleman]

What is your house?

[Caller]

Everyone in our street.

[Ken Coleman]

Have you gotten some legit real estate comps?

[Caller]

So a street similar size to us that was built. So our house was built in 2013 and there's an older house that just sold for almost 500 and we bought our house for 430.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, but you only owe 150 on it.

[Caller]

But we only owe 150. Yeah, we owe 150.

[Ken Coleman]

One other thing I want to address and it's not a back and forth. But I do think it's important in this process to mention that, you know, you said something a few minutes ago that, well, if we move, there's no way we're going to be able to afford to live somewhere else. And that's just simply not true. Right now. You may have to move further than you want to. But. But I do think when you're making decisions like this, you can't be operating in really extreme falsehoods. Okay. Because then you'll end up making a decision based on a false narrative. So do you understand what I'm saying and why I'm challenging you on that?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

Because you may. This may be the best option for you guys to move. I don't know that it is yet, but if it is, you can't have this mindset of, well, we're just simply not going to be able to afford to go somewhere else. The state has unfortunately come in and put you guys in a pickle, and that stinks. But now we've got to make the best decision moving forward.

[Jade Warshaw]

Right. Do you have any information on how it's going to be, like, parceled out? Is it going to be a lot of units or is it going to.

[Caller]

Be spread out 40 units on like 2 acres and they're really congesting our block. Like we said, the town try to go with 20, but the builder said we need 40 because they don't pay. They don't usually end up paying their rent on time, so they're relying on states and federal subsidies.

[Ken Coleman]

Do you have a real estate Pro?

[Jade Warshaw]

No.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay. RamseySolutions.com what is the actual website? So I give it correctly here, team's going to help me out. We'll get it to you in just a second. What is it? Okay, I'm not hearing in my ear.

[Caller]

Oh, can you hear me?

[Ken Coleman]

Okay. Real. So Ramsey solutions.com agent. Is that right? Okay. Sorry about that. I just didn't have that in front of me because here's the deal. I want you to get two or three opinions from some very successful real estate pros in your area. I mean, I'd have them out this week and I. I'm just going through my checklist. Jay, jump on here. But I'm going. All right. I want some. Some pros who've been in your market for a long time and they're CR it and I'd get their opinion, multiple opinions, two to three opinions. So that now we may realize we've got a little bit of Time or no, we need to get out in front of this and list this house right now. They're going to have a really good idea of what's going on in your real estate market because the last thing you want to do is put it up for sale, right?

[Jade Warshaw]

That's right.

[Ken Coleman]

And, and, and, and you know, this thing drag on, drag on, drag on. And you hurt yourself again, I have no idea. And that's why I want to state real, you know, real careful here about making some type of real strong recommendation on what you should do as to whether you list it right now or not. But if you get some advice from three really good real estate pros and they're all saying the same thing, they're going, I get out while the getting is good, then I would do that and realize that I can re, establish myself. And you got a lot of equity in this home, so you got options. Jade, what else would you be thinking?

[Jade Warshaw]

My biggest thing was the concentration of development and how much, how much per, like how many units per block. Is it going to be a thing where there's just a couple single family homes or is it really going to be a high concentration? Obviously a higher concentration could soften the market for you over time. So that's, that's the thing that I was worried about. So I, I'm with Ken. I would get with somebody that's a professional, specifically in your area that could give you more concrete information on what they believe the timeline, the best timeline would be.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, absolutely. Sorry that's happening to you. Let's go to Vince now in Denver. Colorad Vince, how can we help today?

[Caller]

Hey, Ken and Jada, thanks for taking my call.

[Ken Coleman]

Sure.

[Caller]

So I was wondering if it's okay for me to make a career move now. I'm married, have three kids, currently in law enforcement making about $97,000 a year. And I want to become a journeyman lineman. Their starting pay is probably going to be about 50 to 60 thousand dollars per year. But after the four year apprenticeship program, it's like 230,000 plus.

[Ken Coleman]

Man, I love that. So you're. So you're locked in for four years at 50 to 60, it's.

[Caller]

So there's different steps within that four years. So there's step one, step two, all the way up to seven. Once you get seven, then you top out and there's a 5% increment starting from 60% pay, 70% pay of the whatever the annual okay rate is.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay. So I got confused somehow. So for four years, what give me A give me your pay. Year one, if you make this move, you're making 97 now in law enforcement. Year one, you're making what as a journeyman?

[Caller]

Well, as it'll be an apprentice. I'm one apprentice. I'm making about 50 to 60,000.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay. Year two.

[Caller]

Year two, then it bumps up to about 70 to 80 and then probably 80 to 90 and then so on and so forth.

[Jade Warshaw]

2:30 every year you get. Okay, a $10,000 bump.

[Ken Coleman]

You guys have any debt? No.

[Caller]

So we only have our mortgage. That one is. We have $343,000 left. We just recast it to lower our expenses.

[Ken Coleman]

What's your monthly mortgage?

[Caller]

2075.

[Ken Coleman]

What kind of margin do you guys have in your budget after all the bills are paid? Right now?

[Caller]

Currently, right now, after everything is paid, we have about anywhere from 35 to $4,000 in margin.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, fantastic. And I'm assuming before you made this phone call, you ran the numbers on this new pay and what that would look like?

[Caller]

Correct.

[Ken Coleman]

And are you guys going to be struggling? I mean, as an it is stressful or is there going to be enough margin where we're relaxed because we can prepare. We've prepared for this.

[Caller]

It'll definitely be a little tight the first year. The problem is I don't know how long. So you have to apply to an apprentice and that can take anywhere from eight to 12 months.

[Ken Coleman]

Great. That gives you eight. That gives you eight to 12 months to stack up even more cash. What's your emergency fund right now? What's the actual amount in it?

[Caller]

We have $36,000 in our emergency fund.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, so let's play this out. Let's say it takes eight to 10 months before we even find out. If you start doubling down and putting more money in there, you could have a really fat emergency fund that would give you a ton of margin and sleep well in that first year. True or false?

[Caller]

True.

[Ken Coleman]

And your wife could do some things if she had to to make a little extra money. True or false.

[Caller]

True.

[Ken Coleman]

Would it be worth it all to make $230,000 and have that as your trade in the end? True or false. I'm telling you I'm doing it. If I'm you, I'm doing it. But we prepare for it. And it looks like you got eight to 10 months to prepare for it and your wife can come alongside and help. I think this is an absolute no brainer. We step forward, step backward rather to step forward.

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[Ken Coleman]

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[Jade Warshaw]

Hi.

[Caller]

I'm 22 years old and I have about $25,000 in debt. I'm currently on baby step two. I'm trying to figure out the best way to tackle all the debt that I'm in.

[Ken Coleman]

List it out for us. What is in your debt, Snowball?

[Caller]

Currently it's about $600 in credit cards, 1400 on a personal loan, and then the rest is a car loan that I'm handling.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, what do you mean by handling?

[Caller]

And I'm trying to figure out the best way to get the car off my hands because I know you guys don't believe in car payments and I'm slowly realizing that it's strangling me.

[Jade Warshaw]

What kind of car is it?

[Caller]

It's a 2021 Toyota Corolla.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, what's it worth?

[Caller]

I've had different evaluations. The dealer I bought it from, they offered me 16,000. And then a dealer probably 10 miles away from me offered me 17,000.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, so that means private sale. You probably could break even on it. No? Is it 23,000? Is that what you owe?

[Caller]

I owe like 20, 22, 5.

[Jade Warshaw]

Even better.

[Caller]

Private sale. I've seen. I've been offered about 19,000 for it.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. How much do you earn? What's your income?

[Caller]

It ranges. I work retail, so it can be anywhere between like a thousand to twelve hundred every two weeks.

[Ken Coleman]

What do you mean retail? What is that specifically? What are you doing?

[Caller]

I work Verizon inside of a Best Buy.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay. Do you have a degree in anything?

[Caller]

I'm currently in school, trying to get my associates in business.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay. I got to tell you that if I'm. How old are you again?

[Jade Warshaw]

22.

[Caller]

22.

[Ken Coleman]

If I'm a 22 year old and I have this debt, I'm actually going to just work like a maniac and I'm going to get a much better job and then I'm going to get a better second job and then I'm going to look for any kind of crazy projects on Craigslist or somebody in LA needs me to come move them or something like this. I'm making money hand over fist because this is very doable for you. You just have the $600 in credit cards that you could knock that out by selling something you got right now, and then you got the $1,400 personal loan and the rest is the car. So the truth of the matter is I don't know that you have to sell this car. You could pay this car off if you got really intense. You're just not making enough money. I don't know how you're surviving, quite frankly, in Los Angeles making $2,400 a month.

[Caller]

Month.

[Ken Coleman]

Am I right?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

Are you getting ready to go to school? Like, are you getting ready? Are you trying to like, save up your time to go to school or go get some sort of a certification? Why is it that you're working retail right now and not getting more hours?

[Ken Coleman]

Are you in college?

[Caller]

Yeah, I.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Caller]

I'm currently taking six. Six classes at a college.

[Jade Warshaw]

I missed that part.

[Ken Coleman]

I'd press pause on those right now, too.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, no. I have a different take on this. I mean, you could totally do what Ken is saying if I were in your shoes. I mean, you make $24 a year driving a $23,000 car and you're in Los Angeles, you're in school. I would get out of that car.

[Ken Coleman]

Almost like I'm all for that too.

[Jade Warshaw]

And I would get you a little clunker. I'd spend $3,000 and get a little beater. I'd save that up right quick, as quickly as you can. And I, I would do that. You don't need. In my opinion, you don't need this car in your life right now, and you certainly don't need it around your neck. And once you do that, you can quickly pay off the credit cards and the personal loan. But the biggest thing of this, Ken, is I hope that you've learned your lesson that that debt is not the way you want to go forward. Moving forward after this.

[Caller]

Yeah, definitely. I've figured out, like, one of two ways to go about it. There's this, like, ride sharing app called Turo where basically people will pay you to rent out your car. And I figure I can make the. The car payments doing that.

[Jade Warshaw]

No, you don't have to listen because.

[Ken Coleman]

The car's going down in value.

[Jade Warshaw]

You don't have a time for that.

[Ken Coleman]

No, you need more money. I'm actually with Jade.

[Jade Warshaw]

You need to do both. You need to get more money and you need to offload this car.

[Ken Coleman]

You need more money because your financial problem. Yes, you made a bad move on the car. You acknowledge it. We've stated that you need more money. And right now, you spending any time in a community college for six hours of an associate's degree, I will tell you right now, and this will freak a lot of people out. I really don't care. That is the worst thing you can do with your time right now. The amount of time you're spending on those classes, you need to be working and then get out of this debt, and then we can start to cash flow our way through community college. Those classes are going to be there for you. But there is. You've heard the old phrase, time is money, I hope. Have you ever heard that?

[Caller]

Yes, bro.

[Ken Coleman]

You need to be working. And I'm with Jay. You can get out of this car. But I want you to understand what she suggested here. You literally are going to be upside down. You're still going to have to pay off that loan, whatever's left, and then you got to figure around how to get around out of town and all that kind of stuff. So the best thing you can do right now is just buckle down and realize that you could pay this debt off by making a lot more money. And I got to believe a guy who's willing. There's a way to make money in LA. True or false?

[Caller]

100%.

[Ken Coleman]

Well, let's go.

[Caller]

Might I add something about schooling? So I. I currently work like 40 hours a week, but I'm taking all my classes online. So I'm like, I started the semester on Monday and I'm already two months ahead on all my assignments because I just sat down.

[Ken Coleman]

And that's fine. I'm not gonna die on that hill. But I'm making a bigger point that right now with a guy who doesn't have a professional plan, and we're just taking six hours, you know, I'm all for, again, extreme momentum to start something. But you could stay in the online class. That's costing you money.

[Jade Warshaw]

How much? Yeah, how much does that cost you?

[Caller]

I'm doing financial aid, so I literally paid $40 for six classes.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, fine, fine. Listen, the, the advice remains the same. Ken is right. You need money. Money is the magical elixir for this problem. And then, yeah, in my opinion, it would behoove you to go ahead and move this car and drive something. Spend $5,000. 3,000 is to get from upside down. The other 2,000 is to get a beater and then from there. That frees you up to think. Okay, what, what am I doing? Because what are you doing with this community college degree? What's, what's the package?

[Caller]

I'm trying to get into, like finance or hopefully if I could figure out some sort of path to go on, maybe create my own business.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to give you as my gift, find the work you're wired to do. It's got the get clear assessment in it, and this is about 20 minutes. I want you to take the assessment.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Will you do it?

[Caller]

Sure.

[Ken Coleman]

And it's going to spit out a lot of great stuff. It's got an AI component to it. It'll give you potential paths and suggestions. But you need to get more Clari on what my long term could be so that it's not about giving a snappy answer. But the way you answer that tells me you need more clarity. And the more clarity you have, the more confidence you'll have in every area of your life. But right now, and again, I'm going to give you that gift. So hang on the line. But right now I am telling you, it is all about cleaning up this mess. And Jade's right. You didn't need the car. Clean up the car. The rest of this stuff is easy. But what will solve your problems as a guy who's trying to figure out his direction in LA is margin. And you know, Jade, I don't know that. I love being in the big city. I love being young and all that, but at this stage, it's like.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

We.

[Ken Coleman]

Need more young people in these large Cities going. I'll figure out the 15 and the 20 and the 30 year plan right now. While I'm here learning and bouncing around people, I don't need a lot of social time. I need hustle time to learn how to. Because social time will come. But we got a lot of young people. I'm not saying he's the guy. They get out these big cities or whatever and they're just kind of bouncing around and it's like, no, no, no, get up early, stay late.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes.

[Ken Coleman]

Hustle, hustle, hustle. Let's clean up our financial situation.

[Jade Warshaw]

Work around the clock. You don't have a family to come home to.

[Ken Coleman]

No.

[Jade Warshaw]

You don't have until.

[Ken Coleman]

You know what I mean? That's part of the grind.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Ken Coleman]

You know, not let, just. Let's go live in the big city and experience.

[Jade Warshaw]

Well, you gotta be there for a reason. What's the point? To network. To find connections.

[Ken Coleman]

And you can do that while you're hustling?

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes. Simultaneously.

[Ken Coleman]

Goodness gracious. Let's go. Is it twelve hundred dollars every two weeks in la? Oh, thanks.

[Jade Warshaw]

That's less than ramen.

[Ken Coleman]

If you're waking up tired every morning, you don't need more caffeine.

[Jade Warshaw]

You need better rest.

[Ken Coleman]

And that's why Casper mattresses are engineered to help you sleep deeper and wake up refreshed. And this isn't just one George's opinion. Thousands of five star reviews prove it. Plus Casper mattresses ship free and come with a hundred night trial. So you've got nothing to lose. Sleep is a must and you deserve the best. So go to Casper.com Ramsey and use promo code Ramsey for 25% off mattresses and 10% off everything else. That gives you up to 1200 bucks off the Snowmax mattress, which is the exact one I sleep on every night. That's Casper.com Ramsey CodeRamsey exclusions apply. Welcome back to the Ramsey show in the Fairwinds Credit Union studios alongside Jay Dwrshaw. I'm Ken Coleman. Excited to have have you with us. Triple 882-55-5225 is the phone number. Ilvaro is going to join us now in Houston, Texas. How can we help today?

[Caller]

Hi guys. Thank you for taking my call.

[Ken Coleman]

Sure.

[Caller]

So I have a family member that owes me money and my question is.

How can I make her start paying me?

We have a good relationship and I, you know, I don't want this to be something bad in between us.

[Ken Coleman]

Who's the family member? Your sister in law. And you've got a And she, she borrowed the money or your brother did?

[Caller]

Brother? No, no, I, I gave her the money.

[Jade Warshaw]

It's your sister in law. So is it your wife's sister? Is that who it is?

[Caller]

Right.

[Ken Coleman]

Oh, your wife's. I'm sorry, I jumped. I made too many conclusions. That's what threw you off. I apologize.

[Jade Warshaw]

So how did, how much money are we talking about?

[Caller]

14,000.

[Jade Warshaw]

14,000. And how did the request, how, how the request come in? Did it come in through your wife or did like how did this happen? Tell me more about how.

[Caller]

Right.

So.

My wife, her sister, she passed. And so a few months later we were, we were working on a venue for events. All together, everybody, the whole family. And so she needed money for the. Something for the venue. And I talked to her, say, I'm.

Going to give you the money.

And well, I gave her the money. And that has been like what, eight years ago or so.

[Jade Warshaw]

When you say you were working on an event with your family, is this a business? Is this a family business?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, and so you loaned her personal money to. This is an interesting thing. So you're working on an event for a family. What was the 14,000 for?

[Caller]

Was, was for.

Rent. Oh, yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

Wait, wait, wait. Rent for the, the business or rent for her personal. Yes, yes.

[Caller]

No, for the business, for the venue.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay. Is the business still viable?

[Caller]

No.

[Ken Coleman]

Ah, so the business failed.

[Jade Warshaw]

Correct. And it was her business or it was you all's family business?

[Caller]

So I was not too involved because I had my, my own job, my own thing, and it was my wife with her and the other sister, her brother. So basically everybody on her side.

[Ken Coleman]

And this is eight years old now and you're calling us and you're asking us what advice we should give you about getting your money, money back from your wife's sister. That's taken eight years. And I'm sure we've talked about it in the eight years time. Yes, we've talked about this.

[Caller]

Yes, yes.

[Ken Coleman]

I don't know that I got any advice. I gotta tell you, you're. You're. You're between a rock and a hard place, my friend.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah, I don't think it's happening. Plus, it was a business that your sis, your wife was part of. So it's almost like it was almost like your wife's dead. If she was part of the business and the money was used to pay the business rent, I acquiring minds.

[Ken Coleman]

Want to know what your wife thinks about this debt?

[Jade Warshaw]

Huh?

[Caller]

No, she passed.

So she's.

[Ken Coleman]

So sorry I missed that.

[Jade Warshaw]

I'm Sorry.

[Ken Coleman]

Your wife passed.

[Caller]

Right, right, my wife.

Her sister. Yeah, my wife passed.

[Ken Coleman]

So I am so sorry, my friend. We did not catch that detail. Did you? Did you? Okay. I am so sorry. So. So your wife is no longer with.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

I am so sorry. Good heavens.

[Caller]

And so that's why, in order to make the business happen, she came to me and I said, okay, I'll help you. You're grieving too, so let's do this together. And I gave her the $14,000. And then three years later, four years later, her husband passed.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, no.

[Caller]

And so I. I let her go.

I talked to her again and said, okay, listen, I'm gonna. Let's talk about the death next year and give you some time to grieve and to, you know, get on your feet, all that.

And, yeah, so this is it right here now.

[Jade Warshaw]

So what happens there? There's part of me that I'm with. Ken, I think you're never gonna get this back. But I just want to know when you mention it to her, what does she say?

[Caller]

Yes, yes, I'm working on it. Give me some time. Right now, things are stubby, you know.

[Jade Warshaw]

Are you asking for. Are you asking for a lump sum or are you asking for. What are you asking for from her?

[Caller]

No, just a payment plan.

I. One time I sat down with her and.

And I talked to her about that.

Hey, this is something that I have in my mind.

Give me at least a thousand dollars per year. And we are not even talking about interest here.

[Jade Warshaw]

So you' kind of like folks call in here all the time, and they have a debt that they weren't able to pay, and it goes to collections, and it goes to collections because, you know, the. The vendor basically realizes we're not going to get anything, and it's not worth our time. Collections will get whatever they can get for it, and they charge it off, whatever. That's you right now. The likelihood of you getting this money is very, very, very slim. So your choices are you could try to make a deal, literally, and say, you know, give me what you have, and we'll call it clear. Like you would with a collections agency. You could try that, or you could just say, you know what? This woman lost her sister, she lost her husband, she doesn't have any money, and you could just let it go. But either way, between those two, I can tell you number three, you're not getting $14,000 from her, not in lump sum.

[Ken Coleman]

And I would. I'm with you. I think it's a long shot. I'm Sitting here going, okay, all right. I want to do my best here to serve him. I'm going, what would I do? And I think I would sit down and go, look, I know it's been tough for you. I had my own loss in this deal. I helped you out of the goodness of my heart, but, gosh, this is eating away at me. Can we make some kind of, like, consistent commitment to do something? So do you have anything you can sell? The problem is she probably needs the money, but I would at least go, do you have something you can sell? Can we work together on this? Or else I'm gonna have to write this off emotionally. I think it's something you can do.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

I don't think a payment plan is. That feels weird.

[Jade Warshaw]

The truth is, it's just as much your mistake as it is hers, because borrowing money between family members is a mistake. It's. It is not. It's not a good move. So it wasn't a good move on your part to do that, and it's not a good move on her part to not pay the money she said she would pay back. So it's just a rock and a hard place. I'm sorry that.

[Ken Coleman]

Are you in financial trouble?

[Caller]

It can help. Not. Not too bad, no.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, well, let me. Let me say this, because we're winding up our time here, but the reason I asked that question is that's the. Also the switch that needs to happen. You need to now take this 14,000 and go. This is not going to solve my problem. That's going to be gravy if and when I get any of it. So now we change our life. Alvaro, you've got to take control of your situation and make it better. You can't rely on this 14 coming in to make the day better at all. In fact, I would just.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Oof.

[Ken Coleman]

This is a tough situation.

[Jade Warshaw]

It's a lot of money.

[Ken Coleman]

It's a lot of money, but you got to move on from it because it's maybe very hard to get back. So sorry you're in this situation. The moral of the story is what in a bumper sticker.

[Jade Warshaw]

Don't loan people money.

[Ken Coleman]

This show is sponsored by Better Help. As we head into the new year, I want you to take an inventory of all the stuff you're carrying, all those things you think you have to do, all the past hurts and pains, along with your past guilts and shame.

[Caller]

Shame.

[Ken Coleman]

When the world feels heavy, it's important to look in the mirror and consider setting down that old weight and not carrying it. Forward into 2026. Therapy can help you identify the heavy stuff, set it down, and move forward with clarity so you can focus on living the life you want to live in the new year. If you're thinking about therapy, I recommend BetterHelp. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is one of the leading online therapy providers in the world. Trusted by millions with an average rating of 4.9 star out of 5. And it's easy to fit into your busy schedule because it's totally online. To get started, just answer a few easy questions and BetterHelp will connect you with a licensed therapist who fits your needs. And if it's not the right fit, you can change therapists at any time for no extra cost. You can't feel lighter without leaving behind what's been weighing you down. Go to betterhelp.com Ramsey to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H E L P. All right, let's go to Marley in Phoenix, Arizona. Marley, how can we help?

[Caller]

Hey, guys.

[Ken Coleman]

Hi.

[Caller]

So I am a woman in my 40s and I already had some assets and investments in place before starting to prioritize being debt free. Like, over the years, I built like a comfortable, stable life. I don't make a ton of money, but I make good financial decisions.

Overall.

I'm really proud of where I am, but I keep hitting the same issue where I get into a relationship. And for me, marriage is not on the table. I don't want to be married, but I also don't want to be alone.

[Ken Coleman]

Tell me. Wait a second. All right, we need at least a few seconds on this deal. What, you want a relationship, but you don't want to get married? What's the, what's the barrier there?

[Caller]

I watched my mom and my dad and my. They are wonderful people. My dad was a good provider, but it made me unable to trust anyone else with my financial well being. Like, I always need to take care of that for me. I need to have autonomy for that.

[Jade Warshaw]

Did someone do I just do you wrong?

[Caller]

I don't see in my life being able to put my financial well being in someone else's job.

[Ken Coleman]

Is that because of how your dad treated your mom?

[Caller]

Oh, no, he. I mean, he didn't give her a lot of like, equality and equity. He was a good provider. They had a decent relationship for what they were taught in their.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, but you came out of generation. But because of that, you use that as the context to say, as a result, I don't ever want to rely on a Husband for financial safety.

[Caller]

Correct, Correct. I am going to be independent and take care of myself and then, you know, build that life.

[Ken Coleman]

But, but, but you want a relationship.

[Caller]

Monogamous, long term relationship.

[Jade Warshaw]

So what you're, what you're looking for is companionship. That's what you're looking for.

[Caller]

Right.

[Jade Warshaw]

And you have to care about that.

[Ken Coleman]

Well, how's that working out?

[Caller]

I mean, it always works out well, for a while.

[Ken Coleman]

How long?

[Caller]

And eventually they want to wife me. Like, I don't know.

I.

[Jade Warshaw]

Well, that's all you're gonna get. I mean, you have to. Here's the thing. I'm just gonna shoot you straight as your friend. If you say to somebo, I want companionship from you, there's no commitment there. And so that person has the ability to say, yeah, I'll hang with you as long as this works out for me. And then when it no longer works out for me, they can cut you loose. That's what you're giving them permission to do. So you kind of have to know that if that's what you want to do, you probably every five, six years or maybe might get a decade out of somebody.

[Ken Coleman]

Well, that's what I want to know.

[Jade Warshaw]

Switching over to somebody else.

[Caller]

And I'm okay with that.

[Ken Coleman]

Oh, you are.

[Caller]

If.

If I am clear about what's on the table and they don't believe me, which I tend to find is the case, they think, oh, I'll change her mind.

[Jade Warshaw]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Caller]

Like, I don't have children. Everybody always said, oh, she'll change her mind. Guess what?

[Jade Warshaw]

So you're sad. You're breaking up with these guys and they're sad. You feel like you're a heartbreaker and you're like, why am I a heartbreaker? I told you this from the beginning.

[Caller]

I just feel like I was clear about my expectations and eventually they either. The only time that I feel I need to end the relationship, like if it is financially oriented, is when they say, either you give me access to your accounts or I can't be with you. And I say, okay, then we're not together.

[Ken Coleman]

How many times is this, how many times has this happened where you have broken off a relationship because the guy wanted to get married?

[Caller]

2.

[Ken Coleman]

And how old are you, if I may ask?

[Caller]

I'm in my 40s.

[Ken Coleman]

You're in your 40s? And has it been really heartbreaking, any of these? Have they been gut wrenchingly hard even though you stuck to your principle? I'll give you that. Has it been really hard on you?

[Caller]

I Mean, there's obviously emotional strife, but when I look back on it, it's not a level of regret that I feel like, oh, I missed out on something good because of it.

[Ken Coleman]

All right, great. So what's your question?

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah, what's the question? Because my thing is, like, I'll meet you where you're at. If you're. If you're like, I never want to get married, fine. And at this point, I think it's just setting proper expectations and knowing.

[Ken Coleman]

I have a suggestion later that I want you to consider. Marley. But I don't want to get in way of what you called for. What did you call for?

[Caller]

Well, what is the appropriate structure, Because I know for the whole Ramsey thing is that when you're married, you're one.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah. If you're not married. If you're not married, don't combine it.

[Caller]

Exactly. And what is an appropriate way to execute that on the table?

[Ken Coleman]

Execute what?

[Jade Warshaw]

You're dating. You have to view everybody as somebody you're dating, which is my money is mine. I do whatever my plan is. I do my own thing, and I'm with them as long as they'll be with me until they want to get married and I don't. And then they'll exit the scene and I will.

[Ken Coleman]

Are you talking about, like, day to day expenses? Yeah.

[Caller]

Like, what's, what's. Because I've tried several roommates.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. It sounds to me like you're. Can I say this? You're roommates and you got some type of privileges. That's between you and whoever, but your roommates. So that means you're splitting utilities, you're splitting the rent. I mean, that's what we would suggest because you're not married. And by the way, that's what you want anyway. Sounds like you don't want anybody to weigh in on your finances.

[Caller]

Or contribute back out. Perhaps it's more of a backing out of the romantic part of the relationship and just saying, like, knowing that the romantic part does have some. Like, you want to be fair, you want to be equitable. Like, you don't want to be having anybody feel like they're being taken advantage of.

[Jade Warshaw]

Well, here.

[Ken Coleman]

I'm so confused. Here's the thing.

[Jade Warshaw]

The hard part is. The hard part is foundational. I see it differently. Because if you have love for someone at a certain level, especially at an intimate level, then you're wanting that intimacy to take place in other areas of the relationship as well. But you have blocks there. So there is. I'm just saying this again as Your buddy there is going to be because of the way love works. There is going to be some dysfunction there with you having those barricades there and wanting basically to have everything a marriage has, but not having the marriage. It's like, I want all the benefits of this, but I don't want any of the risk of it. And that I think that's what you're struggling with. And I'm gonna tell you that's gonna cause you issues, and it's gonna cause confusion and like you said, to quote you, emotional strife because you're trying to execute. You're trying to take. Have your cake and eat it, too. And it seems like you have a really good reason in your head for that. But I think that you're letting that reason become an. For you to really get the most out of this. I said it before that I wasn't going to try to convince you elsewise, and I'm not. But I would suggest you maybe getting to the bottom of that, because to your point, you've seen relationships not work out well. But I guarantee you, you've seen them. You have seen them work out well. So, you know, it can go either way. And you have to ask yourself, what was the factor in that? What caused a relationship to go well or not go well? Well. And is there any piece of control that you can have over that? I think yes. I think that marriages are successful every single day. And so there's part of that, that there could be more education or learning to go on that that could help you.

[Ken Coleman]

You got to redefine. You got to redefine control, Marley. I thought I was going to hear something far more traumatic. Maybe you didn't want to share it. Don't need you to share it.

[Jade Warshaw]

Right.

[Ken Coleman]

Something you witnessed has created a massive, massive hole of trust in your life. You just don't trust anybody. Not criticizing you here. You called in. I'm making a little quick analysis here to say that there is no way to structure these relationships with romance. And then a lack of trust around finance. You just can't do it. And what's going to happen, Marlee, and you said you're okay with it and you've signed up for it. Here was my suggestion. If you haven't done it before, I would get a really good therapist, and I would sit with a therapist long enough. And you got the money to do it. And I would dive into this to see if the therapist can help you get to the bottom of this lack of trust and then help you with tools to be able to deal with this trust because I think in the end, if you give it a shot for those of us, I've been married almost 28 years, so I'm not selling something that I don't believe in. I just think that you can have that relationship that you long for and coexist with finances, but not until you can see the source of your lack of, a lack of trust. And I see that. I feel that. I hate that for you. But I would give it a shot. I'd kick the tire. Since you've been in so many relationships and they haven't worked out, some to your detriment, romantically and emotionally, give it a shot like get to the source of this before we jump back into another relationship. And I think it's worth it in the long run.

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[Ken Coleman]

May vary and no specific outcome is guaranteed. All right, Jade, I know you're paying attention to this stuff. We talk about this stuff from time to time. Affordability, probably the issue in America today, right? Whether you're on TikTok, Instagram, CNN, Fox News, whichever side of the ideological aisle or political aisle, everybody's talking about affordability. And so I'm holding in my hands here a Yahoo article. Trump is weighing in on all this stuff as well as the president. And latest headline. President Trump instructs government to buy $200 billion in mortgage bonds in a bid to make homes more affordable. And so here's the idea. If the government purchases 200 billion in mortgage bonds, Trump is vowing that this will drive rates down and make the cost of owning a home more affordable. That's his Quote, quote, and he's saying it's one of the many steps in restoring affordability, something that the Biden administration refused to do. Whatever, whatever, whatever. I bring that up to say, you know, Dave and I were on the air, I believe, last week and we were talking about one move that we did like is Trump somehow pushing or help influencing legislation or if through an executive order, it can be done, not allowing corporations to come in and buy houses.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah, I think that would be wonderful.

[Ken Coleman]

We love that. This one, whether I agree with or not, is a very interesting thing. And explain at least the math behind it. Whether or not it's true, whether or not you can do is interesting that people understand. Because what we want to do as Ramsey Solutions, we want to come when we can alongside potential public policy or existing public policy or new public policy, and go, here's how this affects you issue. So if in fact what he's saying, if the federal government's 200 billion boom explain why he thinks that that will work, what the math is on that.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah. So obviously this is not the first time something like this has happened. We saw it in Covid too, to an extent. But basically think about it. When, when you buy a more a mortgage bond. Mortgage bonds are simply a bunch of mortgages rolled into one investment vehicle. So if I, if I buy a house, can you buy a house? House, technically the lender doesn't own it and investor investors have bought that off. And the reason that that happens is because when investors buy these mortgage bonds, then it frees up the lenders to have more money to lend out again. So it creates a cycle there. So when these bonds are bought up, obviously if you infuse that market with $200 billion and you're buying up $200 billion of bonds, you're creating a very, very high demand for bonds. Bonds, obviously the higher the demand, the higher the price bracket goes for those. And as the price goes down, then because this is an in demand item, people are willing to receive less in order to get it. When I say receive less, I'm talking about interest. So when those interest rates go down, housing interest rates go down. So that's how it's connected. So the thought is, hey, if we can go in here and kind of, whether you believe this is artificial or not artificially buy up all of these bonds, funds, that's going to create the ability for the interest rates to go down. So that's kind of the idea around it. Whether you agree with it or not, whether you do it quickly or slowly. That's part of this, is, hey, if we do this too quickly, could it really mess with rates? And could we see things plummet too quickly and it cause a whole set of other problems? It looks like whether they continue it or not. I think they've already started, Ken, and they've done like 2 or 3 billion of the 200 billion. And so maybe if they do this kind of slower and over time we might see interest rates tick down. So whether you agree with it or not, that's up to you. But just understanding it I think is the first part of it. I think a lot of times headlines like this, can they see the President's name and they see a big number and they go, ooh, that's good.

[Ken Coleman]

Or, or I hate it.

[Jade Warshaw]

Or I hate it. And. But really understanding it is a great place to start.

[Ken Coleman]

And let me just add briefly to this, understand that even if this were to work the way that the President wants it to work and we see interest rates come down. When interest rates come down, you watch interest rates on homes, mortgages drop. Let's just call it significantly. Jade, what happens next? People who've been on the sidelines get in. Demand goes up. What happens when demand goes up, Jade?

[Jade Warshaw]

When demand goes up, those prices, prices go up.

[Ken Coleman]

So while the cost of borrowing might go down, the cost of a house goes up. So I say all of that. Not to say you're doomed.

[Jade Warshaw]

No.

[Ken Coleman]

But to say that what we say here at Ramsey is there's never, you know, it's always a good time to buy if you can afford.

[Jade Warshaw]

Right. That's the best time.

[Ken Coleman]

There's no waiting for the, the circumstances to be right because we're sitting in a situation now where everybody's griping about housing. Well, I got news for you. Housing's going up if rates go down because of the demand. We just explained that. So here's the point. Even with the 15 year, we saw it dip last week, all these trends again, again, just pay attention to this. Only buy if you're financially ready. And that means to make sure that your mortgage payment is no more than 25% of your take home pay on a 15 year fixed rate conventional loan. And you need to know that buying a house in your budget's possible if you have the right real estate. Ramsey TRUSTED REAL ESTATE AGENT so find [e-mail] agents ramseysolutions.com agents don't get stuck just trying to ride the roller coaster of trends. It never works. That simply Linwood is up next in Montgomery Alabama Linwood. How can we help?

[Caller]

I can. Hi, Jade. Thank you so much for taking my call. Well, that Yahoo article is a perfect segue into my question. So super simple. I'm active duty about to buy a house in March. My wife and I, this is our first home just kind of on the fence if I should use a conventional loan or a VA loan. Yeah, that article came out and I called my loan officer and basically the difference I'm looking at is conventional. What I'm quoted is about $1,204 per month. And with the VA loan at the APY and APR, it would be about $1,160 per month. Month. So $44 per month difference, about $520 per year. And I'll tell you why I'm on the fence. I once again, first time owning a home, I'm not too fond of the escrow. I'm new to all this real estate stuff and when I actually understood what escrow was, I was a little bit confused on. I'm going to give the bank more of my money. Money to pay my bills for me when I feel I'm competent enough to pay my bills myself. I already do it with my car insurance, my phone, my gym membership, whatever. I can pay all my own bills. So with the VA loan, I won't be able to bypass escrow. My loan officer is telling me I can bypass the escrow with the conventional loan. So I'm. I'm wanting the conventional for the liberty of not having escrow. But I'm on the fence because I have a better rate with the va but I will have the escrow.

[Jade Warshaw]

That is a lot. Okay. And I'm thinking through it. I'll be honest, I'm not a specialist on either of these. I feel like you would have to have the number. I would have to be able to. I would compare it to something else. Yeah. And me. For me, I'm thinking about the fact that usually we don't recommend VA loans because of the fees that. That are associated. I don't know if the numbers that you've gotten have accounted for that or not. I know that if you're are exempt because of disability, those fees go away. I don't know if that's the case for you. So there's some things in here that I honestly don't have the information to tell you fully.

[Ken Coleman]

What's the difference in rates?

[Caller]

The difference in rates? I don't have the best credit because I've been too davish my whole Life. I don't ever borrow money.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Caller]

So the difference in rates, the conventional 6% and the VA is 5, 6, 5. And I guess to make my question more simple. I'm sorry, that was so complicated. J.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Caller]

I just. I cannot get behind escrow. Am I, Am I too weird? Am I, Am I too.

[Ken Coleman]

I think it's. I think it's the wrong thing to be hung up on.

[Jade Warshaw]

I think so too.

[Ken Coleman]

Are you currently active? You're currently active duty, correct?

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay. And are you moving around from base to base? Like what's. What do you anticipate the next five, six years looking like as far as you moving around?

[Caller]

I will probably move from where I'm at right now in December of 2027. And then this house will be a rental.

[Ken Coleman]

No.

[Caller]

And I'll move overseas after this.

[Ken Coleman]

Don't do it. We get this call all the time from military men and women. First of all, thank you for your service. You're a great American. But let me tell you what we tell them. If you're in the military and you're moving every two years, the house becomes a massive headache at times. And so flipping that all the time with you going overseas, your current situation. I would not get into the landlord business certainly when I'm overseas. So I would sit tight, see what the overseas trip looks like and what that's going to determine before I buy a home. I just wouldn't jump in right now and buy a home.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah, the escrow is not part of the discussion by the way.

[Ken Coleman]

Doesn't even matter. Just don't buy a home right now. With you moving around so much.

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[Ken Coleman]

All right, let's go to Megan in. I think this is. Oh, this one always gets me. Hold on. This is really fun. I'm gonna say it is Lima. Is it Lima, Ohio? Is it Lima or Lima? What is it? Is it Lima? Oh, my gosh. Okay, great.

[Jade Warshaw]

I was going with the Peru Peruvian, by the way.

[Ken Coleman]

Sorry. To the team in the control room. They were like, is Ken's meds wearing off? Is he melting down right now? I was trying, Megan, so hard. I know. No, it's okay. We like to laugh here. Lima.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, great.

[Ken Coleman]

I like to be phonetically strong.

[Jade Warshaw]

Well, in Peru, it's Lima, but I guess it's in Ohio.

[Ken Coleman]

It's Lima.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. All right, Megan.

[Caller]

Rushi. In Ohio. But it's spelled like, right?

Russia.

[Ken Coleman]

And they call it Rushie.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah. Well, how about this? When I lived in Kansas, there is a city that was spelled like Arkansas City, and it was called Arkansas.

[Ken Coleman]

Oh, that's so irritating.

[Jade Warshaw]

It was called AR Kansas City.

[Ken Coleman]

Let me give you one here in Tennessee, and I think they do this in Georgia as well. It's Lafayette.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Oh.

[Ken Coleman]

The legendary French general who France loaned to America, and as a result, he was a hero. And there are Lafayettes towns and counties all over America, except for in Tennessee and Georgia, they call it Lafayette.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, it's hurtful.

[Ken Coleman]

Somebody punched me right in the neck.

[Jade Warshaw]

Well, nothing hurts more than Murfreesboro. Murphree not Murphy. Sorry, Megan. We're getting all.

[Ken Coleman]

We're going off the rails, Megan. So sorry. We're really. It's like group therapy with you. This is very exciting. How can we help you today?

[Caller]

My parents are in their late 60s, and they have done nothing to prepare for retirement. They say they're just going to work until they die because they just see no point in ever slowing down to the point that they don't have any documentation. Like, their will is from before I was born, and I'm in my late 30s. So how do I guide them? Because I've tried signing them up for classes, tried getting them set up a lawyer to try to get documents in place, and every time, it just falls apart.

[Jade Warshaw]

Are they asking for your help or are you volunteering it?

[Caller]

Volunteering it because I don't want to be set up to have to deal with all of it when they die.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, man. Oh, man. Megan, I get it. First off, I feel your pain. The hard part about this is, and Ken knows when someone's not asking, and you're. You Know you're breaking your neck trying to do it for them and help them. They don't want it. They don't care. It is not important to them, and it is important to you. It should be. But the hard part of this is they don't care. Now, I don't know if you've had this conversation with them, which is, hey, guys, I know you haven't asked for my help, and I'm sorry if it feels like I am kind of encroaching on your privacy here, but here's what I'm thinking about. I'm thinking about the fact that I'm 30 years old. I have X amount of dollars and X amount of obligations. Obligations. It's none of my business, but I have the information right now. And you can tell me if I'm wrong, that you're really not too concerned with retirement. You have the right not to be. But I am. And the reason why I am is because if I look up and you're 80 years old and somebody needs care or somebody needs this, I'm realizing that all that's gonna fall on me. And that's what I'm concerned about. About. Is there a plan that I don't know about that you guys can tell me about? That's the conversation I'd be having instead of jumping straight to, let me help you with budgeting.

[Caller]

I've had some of that conversation with them, and it's always kind of the same, of like, well, we'll get to it later. We have to grow our business. We have to focus on this. You know, like, they'll come up with a thousand different kind of excuses on why they're never going to work on that.

[Jade Warshaw]

And then you can say. And then you can say, okay, well, I. I'm just. That's fine. But I do want to let you guys know so that, you know, if there's no money there, if we look up and you're 80 and there's no money there, I can't help. I can't. And then you can let them know that and say, so. If you're on Medicaid, the opposite.

[Caller]

They have a ton of money. They're worth a lot.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. Okay.

[Caller]

And they don't want to. My mom will make, like, a comment of, like, well, when I die, you're not going to get any of my half of those. State. It's all going to be a scholarship because I want everyone to remember me for forever. My dad will be like, no. And then that'll be the end of the conversation, like, it'll be like, that's as much as you're going to get. Does that make sense?

[Jade Warshaw]

So you're more concerned with your cut of the will than, like, them having.

[Caller]

Money is more concerned of, like, not doing what they wanted if had certain things they wanted? Like, if my mom wants a scholarship in her honor, I. How am I supposed to know what scholarship?

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, then she'll leave instructions. And if she doesn't leave instructions, to Jay's point, I gotta tell you, this changed everything for me here. In this conversation, your mom is a treat to make a statement like that. And then your dad. Your dad just kind of does the whole. Okay. And that says a lot to me that I'm not sure the scholarship has been outlined. I think your dad just is blowing her off in a very, you know, sort of, let's change the subject kind of way. You don't need to worry about that.

[Caller]

This.

[Ken Coleman]

I. I got to tell you. And. And by the way, the more you keep bringing it up, it could be to your disadvantage, if you know what I'm saying. You're like the little fruit fly, you know? And by the way, this. This whole call is a little close to home for me because, Megan, we had fun at the start of this call. I'll let you in on this. This is. This is probably almost two years worth of frustration for me. I've been trying to talk Jade into doing a duet with me on a live event stage. And it's the same thing she doesn' that it's because every time I bring it up. So it's like what I'm doing to Jade and trying to sing with her.

[Jade Warshaw]

It'S because you want to be Sharon. And I'm trying to tell you I should be Cher.

[Ken Coleman]

See, it's not going anywhere. And, see, I keep telling her I want to do a duet. It'll be great. It'll be great. I tell her why. I talk about my soft baritone. Nothing. She's not interested in singing with me on a stage. So, like your mom and dad, it's the same thing. They just aren't interested in your input. So you got to learn. I got to walk away. It's just not gonna happen. And I've had to deal with it. I'm currently processing it, but it was a little too soon, But I thought it was a good metaphor.

[Jade Warshaw]

I'm ready whenever you are, Ken. Me, me, me.

[Ken Coleman]

Should I explain to all people who don't get sarcasm that I'm being completely and utterly sarcastic?

[Jade Warshaw]

They know.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay.

[Jade Warshaw]

Good.

[Ken Coleman]

I would never try to sing next to you ever. Like, even in the car, really, with the radio up.

[Jade Warshaw]

We should do an episode of on front row seat and like some type of carpool karaoke.

[Ken Coleman]

No, I just would have to. I would have to practice forever. You're just too darn good. Too darn good. Okay, let's talk for a second because I think this is a bigger issue. I want to get to family. Whether it is. And I'm not going to go specific, I'm going to tee you up here. It could be loaning money. We say don't loan money. Right.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

It be.

[Caller]

Could.

[Ken Coleman]

Could be this kind of pressure here. The will and blah, blah, blah. You know, there just has got to be some kind of basic read the room when you're dealing with family and money. Yes or no? Because you just don't have the influence you want, especially up the ladder to parents. Your parents are aging. They become the children. You become the parent. At some point, though, there's got to be some boundary that you put in place for your mental and emotional. Emotional health. True or false?

[Jade Warshaw]

True. Boundaries are life. I'm saying this because I have my own personal journeys happening.

[Ken Coleman]

Right.

[Jade Warshaw]

And let me just say, when folks call in with these questions, I feel like I'm in a whole other headspace on it now, because it hits. And the thing is, yes, you need boundaries. And it's not like boundaries there to keep people out. And it's just for everybody to be operating in their most healthy space. And that's the thing that you have to tell yourself and that I tell myself is. Is not to be mean or to keep somebody at bay is to keep everybody in their most healthy space. I'm talking to myself right now, right?

[Ken Coleman]

Because. Okay. And without getting into your personal stuff, it's. It's like there are times where it's like I have to put a boundary on me because if I say something and it gets completely ignored, that puts me in a bad place. Right. When your intentions are good, yeah, that's a boundary. You go, I want to protect myself by not saying anything.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes.

[Ken Coleman]

You know, that's a battle.

[Jade Warshaw]

And then two, you also have to ask yourself, why am I even getting. There's some times where it's like you're getting involved. Why are you even getting involved? Did anybody ask you?

[Ken Coleman]

That's right.

[Jade Warshaw]

Which is what I said to Megan. Obviously, it panned out differently. But if nobody asked you, don't get involved.

[Ken Coleman]

And here's another thing. So this is a fun example. And Megan Bless her heart. Great heart. Okay. She brings it up to mom and mom hits her back with, you're not getting any of my money. Well, that's not fun to hear.

[Jade Warshaw]

It's not, but it's also mom's prerogative.

[Ken Coleman]

I know, but it's not brought up. If you don't bring it up, it doesn't throw it in your face. That's true to your point.

[Jade Warshaw]

Mind your business is what you're saying.

[Ken Coleman]

If listen, unless they asked you, Megan, we'd like to know what you think. You stay out.

[Jade Warshaw]

Mind your business.

[Ken Coleman]

Welcome back to the Ramsey show in the Fairway Winds Credit Union studio alongside Jade Warshaw. I'm Ken Coleman. 888-255-225 is the phone number. Riley joins us now in Seattle, Washington. Riley, how can we help?

[Caller]

Hey there. It's time for me to save her down payment. And I use a Ramsey trusted pro who wants me to stop contributing to retirement to get intense about storing cash. This gives me some FOMO about missing compounds and just turning retirement off. Do you have any thoughts?

[Jade Warshaw]

I mean, if you're truly on baby step 3B, it's your choice if you want to do both simultaneously or if you want to take all of that money and really hammer the down payment hard for the next two to two and a half years. How, what's the horizon? How long is it going to take to save your down payment if you had all the money going towards it?

[Caller]

Yeah, so I could probably do it within a year if I got really intense. And that's his idea is stop doing things at the same time.

[Jade Warshaw]

How long would it take?

[Caller]

Probably take two years.

[Jade Warshaw]

And what's, what do you like, are you in a hurry that I must have a house in one year or are you fine to take the two year route?

[Caller]

Well, what's tough is it's so expensive in Seattle that like waiting seems like prices will just continue to go up. So I would like to get intense. I just kind of need some encouragement to have a year where I don't contribute any.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, so you want to do the year plan? Yeah. I would just say that at the end of the day, you have to remember these are both investments. So mentally we think, oh my gosh, I'm not investing, I'm giving up investing to get this house. And what's helped me and what did help me when I was in your shoes is to remember real estate is also an investment and it's a forced savings account for your future. Right. So once you buy this house, you're saving up this down payment. All that is doing is creating equity for when you buy the house. And so don't think of it as I'm not investing. Think of it as I'm kind of diversifying in this way. I've got money going that's going to go to my 401k for retirement and then I'm also investing money into this primary real estate venture. Does that help?

[Caller]

Yeah, absolutely. Like I'm, I'm just, instead of investing in one area, I'm doing it in a new area that I'm just not used to.

[Jade Warshaw]

That's right.

[Ken Coleman]

The other thing is, is I play around with some numbers and just do real math. Look at trends in the Seattle market over the last 30 years. What is the percentage there are people that the market has gone up on average over a decade. What are the experts saying? Like right now I know that I can go online and I can get a good guess on what home prices look to be. Will they go up in 2026 in my county? And so if we're talking about 12 months difference, in other words, if you go all in pause investing for 12 months, there's an amount of money that you anticipate being able to save, correct?

[Caller]

Yes, yes.

[Ken Coleman]

And then if we say, all right, if I didn't pause investing and I saved over a 24 month period, what would that amount of money be? And I think you know what that number is. Correct.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, so then look at what do I think housing based on the market and whatever I can look at how much do I think housing prices are going to be that much different in the difference of 12 months? I'm just saying I would look at all of this and not be like, oh my gosh, you know, it's going up, it's going up and in all reality, it's not going to go up as much as you think in two years. So now you're looking at the difference of one year. So as you're making this decision, I'm just giving you some food for thought. Does it make sense? I'm not telling you what to do, but I'm just telling you to have all the information, get all the numbers out and let's be educated about what we're doing here because you may not have to pause investing.

[Caller]

Yeah. And unfortunately for the area, it's like 200,000 for a down payment is my goal. And that just seems like an insane amount of money. But if I waited, then maybe it will be okay. Now you need 240,000. And these are not incredible homes. It's just the market here.

[Jade Warshaw]

Right. And then if you think about that 40,000 across those two years. Years, you have to ask yourself, okay, is that worth saving 40,000? Is it worth what I would have made investing that extra. I don't know how much you're saving monthly for this, but that's really the equation that you're looking at. The amount that you would be putting towards your down payment monthly instead of investing it. Would that money invested outpace what you project to be the increase in the real estate market? Now, saying that, and that's the tough.

[Caller]

Piece because we don't know.

[Jade Warshaw]

We don't know. You could, you could probably find some realistic projections out there. You could probably find some realistic projections out there. I personally, I, Jade, probably would not nerd out to that extent because there's two things on the line. It's a question of values. You have to go, okay, how much do I value having this house? What's it going to give me? Is it going to give me stability? It's going to give me a little bit of diversity, diversity diversification in my investments because, you know, this is probably not your forever home. At some point, you'll probably sell it and you'll make some money and that sort of thing. I, I'm giving you that equation because you might like to nerd out on it. I personally would not. I would just look at this and go, you know what? How quickly do I want to get this done and out of my life? I value doing it faster than I value putting aside the extra money in retirement. So I'm just going to do it. Or I just really love the way it feels to invest this full amount. So I, I, I'm fine with it. It. Right. It's totally up to you. There's not a wrong or right answer on this.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. Is this your first home?

[Caller]

Yes, it will be.

[Ken Coleman]

And how old are you again?

[Caller]

36.

[Ken Coleman]

36. Are you single?

[Caller]

Yep.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay. Any plans to settle down?

[Caller]

I mean, I like my area. I could easily. And the biggest thing is the commute. I mean, I could afford much more, but driving an hour each way would.

[Ken Coleman]

I agree with you on that, by the way. Ryle, I agree with you on that. That's a quality of life issue that adds up really quick. My point is, is I'm not trying to get into your relationship life, but I am saying if you plan to settle down at some point, that person may have and should have some say in where you're going to live and at 36 and single, not ready to settle down. Doesn't sound like to me. Which is fine. I'm just giving you. If I'm sitting in your shoes, I'm probably going to take. I'm, I'm, I'm going to save up more and I'm going to take my time. I'm not going to try to rush in the next 12 months that I wouldn't, knowing what I know about, maybe.

[Caller]

Hit my goal, but then not purchase right away.

[Ken Coleman]

No, I'm just saying you, you're the. What you gave us was. Should I, I pause my, my retirement investing and go all in and take that money and put it into baby step 3B? I thought that was the question.

[Caller]

Correct.

[Ken Coleman]

And I'm saying in your situation, I would not pause investing. I would just keep investing and keep saving. Yeah, because he's not, he's not in a situation where I feel like he needs to rush to settle down in, in a place to live. He's single. I'm okay with renting in his situation. Situation, huh.

[Jade Warshaw]

I'm. You know what? I'm just the opposite. I'm like, if there's not a lovely lady in the picture, it'd be one thing. If you're like, I'm dating someone, we're getting serious. I'd be like, ah, wait, you guys can do this together. Yeah, but if there's no one in the picture, I'd be like, let me, let me get this house before this real estate market goes up.

[Ken Coleman]

And you're talking, you're talking to a guy who's older and understands the power of that investing. And I'm just like, I wouldn't rush to buy if I were you. Certainly not in Seattle.

[Jade Warshaw]

Two different opinions.

[Ken Coleman]

So you get to do what you want it. That's. That's right. It's your call, Riley. And you're a smart guy. You're doing the right thing. Love the question. Do what feels best for you on this. You're not going to screw it up.

[Jade Warshaw]

That's right.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Foreign.

[Ken Coleman]

Hey, good folks. Dr. John Deloney here. Don't you think life is too short to hate Mondays? Listen, you're worth loving the work you do and where you do it. So guess what? Ramsey Solutions is hiring. If you're ready to join an amazing team that's all about changing lives and spreading hope, we want to see your application. Right now, we're hiring for technology, sales, marketing, writing, copy editing, and creative roles. Check out all our job postings @ramsey solutions.com. careers. That's ramseysolutions.com careers. All right, folks, if you fly blind with your taxes, oh, they're gonna be confusing, stressful. I already have a little like kind of faux indigestion just thinking about flying blind on taxes. Something I would never do ever, ever, ever. But with the help of Ramsey's easy to digest tax resources, you can handle your taxes with ease and confidence. Go to ramseysolutions.com taxes ramseysolutions.com taxes and they'll help you navigate all the different changes in life. Confusing forms, forms and all the complicated filing scenarios. You also find tips and tricks to make your tax return easy and guides on filing if you're self employed or a freelancer. So there it is, folks. Ramseysolutions.com taxes. A tremendous resource and a really scary, scary and sometimes very, very frustrating area of our lives. So there you go. Let's go to Grace now in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Grace, how can we help today?

[Caller]

Hi, I was wondering if, like, you guys have any advice on how like a young person can like get a good, good paying job without a college degree.

[Ken Coleman]

I have lots and lots to say about it. Let's talk about your, your specific situation. Tell me how old you are.

[Caller]

I'm 20.

[Ken Coleman]

20. Are you in school? Out of school, not gonna do school. What's your story?

[Caller]

I would want to go to college, but I don't want to go in debt in order to go to college. So I'm currently just like working for like entry level jobs.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay. What are you making?

[Caller]

I was making $17 an hour. Like that was the most I ever made.

[Ken Coleman]

You what you were. That says in the past. What are we making right now?

[Caller]

Well, I'm currently trying to get into the military. Military. But in case I don't, because I know a lot of people get medically rejected. In case I don't.

[Ken Coleman]

You want to fall back?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

All right. Just for fun. Okay. Like not holding you to these answers. You don't have to sound right. You don't have to impress us. We already a big fan of you, Grace. Let's assume you had the degree and say that the money was there and you could get a degree and that degree was going to get you into a career path. Path. Do you have any ideas, desires for what that answer would be? What is that? Career path or paths plural.

[Caller]

I would like to be in government and be able to travel.

[Ken Coleman]

Government and travel. Tell me more about this government job. Just give me the ideal job, Ken. This is what my days would look like. What Would you be doing my days.

[Caller]

Or like the exact job title?

[Ken Coleman]

No, no. What should be doing during the day? Forget job title. I don't care about job titles title. What would you be doing in the government?

[Caller]

Well, I really like the current, the current people in government right now. And I would want to like the dream job would be like, to be able to have that like some power to be able to change like bad laws and just like change laws.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, got it. So you're talking about, you're talking about the legislative job and that's way up the ladder. You gave me the answer. Okay, so the military situation, when are we going to find out about that? What's our timeline?

[Caller]

Well, I'm going to boot camp tomorrow.

So you're in.

Find out within a week or two.

[Ken Coleman]

Oh, so you're already in?

[Caller]

Yes, but I'm asking like for other people, like because a lot of people get medically rejected from the military and there's still a chance that I could. So that's why I was really curious like how you guys advise people like if they have like, like if they want to get like a good paying like a influential job, like how they can go about that without going into debt.

[Ken Coleman]

I'm not going to answer on influential because that's very subjective. But if for some reason you get medically rejected, you don't cut it in boot camp. What we're going to do is if we don't have any money to get qualified in college, then we look at can I get qualified to do a variety of different things? The answer to that is yes. So we really want to start with what was it that I would like to do? And the answer to what is it that you would like to do? Should always come back to what are you good at doing? Right. So what are the skills and talents you have? Now here's the deal. I'm going to gift you this so you don't have to go through this long answer. I'm going to give you my book. Find the work you're wired to do. It has a 20 minute get clear career assessment in it and it's actually going to involve AI and it's going to spit out some very specific things based on things. Three criteria that the assessment measures. What Grace is good at, that's your talent and skills. What Grace really loves to do, we call that passion. That's work. You really look forward. It's a task or a function or a role. And then we're going to look at what motivates Grace. What's her missional result in life. What gets her up in the morning to put out into the world. That's a result from work. So the assessment will do that for you. But the answer to your fallback is, I'm going to look at my assessment. I'm looking at what I'm good at doing. And now I know what types of jobs that I can go get or I can learn and I could go through a training program. I could go to some type of a boot camp if it's technology related, if it's a trade, I can go to trade school. You still tracking with me?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

There you go. So we figure out what is the work I can do because I've got some raw tests talent. And then what's the work I want to do because I know that I love getting up every day. And maybe I like doing process work, maybe I like doing people work, maybe I like working with objects, maybe I like ideating and creating from my head. Those are the four types of work, idea work, people work, process work, and object work. And so again, this assessment will help you, but as you begin to figure out what kind of work I would like to do and do I have the requisite talent with training. Now we've got some answers. And now we look at, okay, what is it going to take for me to get into that? And most of the time you're going to find you don't need a college degree that you can work your way into that. So let's see how the military thing plays out. And here's the good news for you. You make it through boot camp, you stick it out, you're going to now have the GI Bill. You're familiar with that?

[Caller]

Yes, yes.

[Ken Coleman]

And now Grace can do. Yeah, now Grace can do whatever she wants after she pays, you know, serves her time, rather. So really excited for you. Do you have some medical condition that you don't need to share with us? But are you. Is there something going on with you where you think it's a good chance you may not make it through boot camp?

[Caller]

No, but I mean, I just wanted to have like a backup plan.

[Ken Coleman]

I want to bring Jade in because she's, she's got a lot of wisdom here. I want you to weigh in on the mindset and anything tactical that you think she might do as she walks into this very intense season that I think she's going to make it through. But what if she doesn't?

[Jade Warshaw]

Do you talking about the boot camp specifically?

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. What do you want to add to this. What would she do?

[Jade Warshaw]

What's her fault?

[Ken Coleman]

What would you add to what I said? Anything you want to add.

[Jade Warshaw]

I mean, you covered the career front like cover to cover. I don't have anything to add there. Are we talking about going into the boot camp? Like what to experience?

[Ken Coleman]

No, I'm saying if she doesn't make it.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes.

[Ken Coleman]

Which we don't want to focus on that. But since she asked.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah. There's no goals.

[Ken Coleman]

What would you say to her if she doesn't make it for some reason, Forget the career front. What would you say to her? Mindset wise, emotional.

[Jade Warshaw]

I would say. Oh, okay. I would say, you know, sometimes when things don't go the way we want them to go, we're thinking it's some. Like we automatically think it's a negative. Like if I don't get the job, it was a loss. If I switch jobs, it's a demotion. And I would say to flip that around and if something doesn't happen, it's because it wasn't supposed to happen. Which means there's the other successful piece that's out there waiting for you to just find it. And it's likely bedroom better than what you were initially planning for. That's why the other thing didn't work out.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. What branch. Do you mind if I ask what branch you're going into?

[Caller]

Sure. The Navy.

[Ken Coleman]

Come on. My grandfathers were both in the Navy. I'm partial. There we go. I think that's fantastic. Congratulations. Can we just say congratulations on. On you being selected? You're going into one of the great organizations in the world, the United States Navy. You're going to learn so much and you're going to come out of this thing a lot tougher. Sounds like after boot camp. I don't know what boot camp's like in the Navy. Is boot camp in the Navy as hard as it is in the Marines?

[Jade Warshaw]

I don't know.

[Caller]

No, it's not. No, not at all. I don't think.

At least good for you.

[Ken Coleman]

I think you're going to crush it. Hey, we're rooting for you here. We're rooting for you.

[Caller]

Thank you.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. So hang on the line. My gift to you, your boot camp gift is find the work you're wired to do. And also, Christian, let's get her my other best selling book, From Paycheck to Purpose, which is the seven stages of doing work that you were absolutely created to do. Very proud of those stages. That'll be helpful after you. After you read the first book and Take the assessment and thank you for serving our country. You're a great American. I don't know if I could do well in the Navy, Jade. You know why? The deep sea, I'm afraid I'd be like ralphing over the edge of the.

[Jade Warshaw]

Pool while you get your sea legs.

[Ken Coleman]

Would I?

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Caller]

I don't know, Sam.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

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[Ken Coleman]

All right. The Ramsey show question of the day is brought to you by. Why y refi if defaulted private student loans have taken over your life, why refi can help you breathe again with a low fixed rate plan that fits your budget? Visit yrefi.com Ramsey that's the letter y r e f y.com Ramsey it's not available in all states.

[Jade Warshaw]

Alrighty then. Today's question comes from Aaron in Kansas. He says, would there ever be a time where you wouldn't pay tithes in order to get yourself out of a bad financial situation? Situation? I'm doing okay, except I was dumb and bought a condo I couldn't afford. Now I'm in a situation where it's hard to pay my tithe. And I'm just curious as to your thoughts on how to juggle generosity and getting out of debt. I love this question. There's a couple facets to it. I'll try to hit all of them. First off, for anybody listening, tithe if you're, if you're a Christ follower, one of the practices is you give 10% of what you earn back to your church in order for that to be used for, you know, missions or building the church or what have you. That's, that's a practice that many Christ followers do so that being Said here at Ramsey, we would say giving that type of generosity, any type of generosity, including things like tithe, should be at the top of your list, the top of your budget as a practice all the time. That's my personal stance on it. As, as well, that being said, from a debt payoff perspective, I always like to remind people that it's your choice. I personally would always give. It's just a personal conviction that I have. And if you do want to get into the spiritual part of it, you know, that's between you and God. I don't think that he's going to like strike you with lightning if you don't give. And I also believe that your heart should be in the right place to give, to be a cheerful career giver, giving out of willingness. And it sounds like at this point you're not sure if you're willing to give this money. And that's something that you can kind of wrestle through on your own. I'm not going to sit here and tell you yes or no. I can tell you what I would do, which I, I would continue to give, and I did. When Sam and I were going through our debt payoff, 460,000 money was so tight and every, every, every cent counted. But for me, my personal perspective was, was you can't outgive God. And when you do give, you receive back. That's what scripture tells us, is that when you give and it shall be given, pressed down, shaken together, running over, it will flow back to you. And so I believe that. And I believe that not just in a monetary sense, but you can receive that back with peace, you can receive that back with favor, open doors, all of these different things. And so for me personally, it was something that I felt, felt like if I didn't do, I was only cheating myself, is kind of the way I, I viewed it and Sam viewed it. So that's up to you to kind of decipher. That's just my take. I really want to look at this condo that you can't afford, because what I'm really just seeing here is less of a tithe issue and more of a sustainability issue. Because what's the solution for this condo that's outside of your budgetary range? That's, that's my question. So I'd really be trying to get that right sided, right sized and right sided up. And that's the bigger play here, I think, than if you miss a month of tithe.

[Ken Coleman]

Well, and here's the reality, my guess is not having his budget in front of us that if the tithe payment makes enough room to him to pay the, he's got bigger problems. It's not just the tithe issue. We're running way too tight. And I think you're right. Very astute on that. Thank you for the question. Let's now go. This is kind of fun. We've got Jade in studio with me, but we're to going, going here in our neighborhood right in Nashville, Tennessee where Jade is on the line. Jade, how can we help?

[Caller]

Hi, thank you for having me.

[Ken Coleman]

Sure.

[Caller]

So I'm turn to the side. I'm thinking about selling my house. I bought it when I was 22. I'm 34 right now, so I do have a lot of equity. But the house is pretty old. It was built like in 1965. So I'm coming up to like having a lot of issues as far as repairs with the house. And it's just weighing on me financially to where it's causing me to be behind on other things because of, you know, the repairs and stuff. I am a single woman with two kids and I'm thinking about selling just to get a fresh start, a new start. But with me selling the house, I was going to try to use that money that I make from selling the house to put down towards the new house and probably like consolidate some of my bills.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Caller]

And I don't know.

[Ken Coleman]

Well, tell us about the house. What, what do you owe on the home and then tell us what you think you can get for the home.

[Caller]

I owe like 63, 64,000 on the house and I really don't know how much I would get. I had been getting a lot of calls all the time, time and they would say like 200 something a little less than 300.

So.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, well, step one is we want you to go to ramseysolutions.com after this phone call. We want you to look up our real estate page. And let's get you with, let's have you talk to two or three of the trusted pros over there, somebody that knows the Nashville market really well and they're affiliated in the way that they know how we want want them to treat you. They're going to treat you well. You go with the one that you have the best vibe with. Make sure that you understand everything. But let's get, let's get some real pros, some Ramsey trusted pros out there to tell you what your house is worth and give you a sense of the market and what you might be able to go to before we ever really decide on this, we need to know that. You need to know that for sure. Walk Jade through your debt. Walk us through that.

[Caller]

I have three credit cards for both of. I mean, all three of them is what? Two of them is 800, one is 900. I just a very minimum. I do have school loan debt, but it's in good standing right now. Behind or. I don't owe about like 70,000.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. How much do you earn?

[Caller]

I make like 59, 60,000 a year.

[Jade Warshaw]

What's that? What do you take home every month? What do you see?

[Caller]

It varies based on overtime.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, give me a good. Give me a. In between a good month and a bad month. What is it?

[Caller]

I say like a good month for.

Month.

Maybe like 4200.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Caller]

And a bad month maybe like 3000, 3500.

[Jade Warshaw]

So here's what I'm hearing. I. I have a couple of clarifying questions. One, what is your. Would when you mentioned earlier that it was.

[Caller]

Have a car note in.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, tell me about the car.

[Caller]

It just. I owe like 18,000.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Caller]

On the car.

[Jade Warshaw]

So when you said earlier that it was tight and it was, you know, money was tight, was it the monthly payment that's tight or was it when you're thinking about the repairs, was it the repairs that were really what was frustrating you?

[Caller]

It's just the maintenance to continue. Like for me, my kids just continue living here. I would have to keep investing into the house as far as repairing things.

[Jade Warshaw]

Like. Things like what? Like a roof AC unit just recently.

[Caller]

Yes. That's down currently. Right now. I just recently fixed a leak in my house.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Caller]

On my roof. And I have another one, but it's on the back side of the house. So I haven't dealt with that really.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. So a lot of things, these are higher ticket. Higher ticket items is what it says. Sounds like Ken is right. I would want to get real numbers around selling the place. I also want you to have some clarity around your numbers. It feels like they're. They're kind of a guess right now. And I have a sense that if you had them in a budget, you could make a plan that could possibly really, really help you. Do you have a budget?

[Caller]

I do. It's probably not the best, but I.

Do have a budget.

I'm like, still figuring it out.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, well, we're gonna send you a better budget. We're gonna send you a copy of every dollar and. And give you a subscription for a year so that you can use it so that you can find out what Your margin is because what it might Jay, just be you needing to get and see how much margin do I have? What would it take for me to cut back a little bit and save up to do some of these repairs? I'm not convinced right away that it's time to sell. But the margin, the, the budget's going to tell you. If you're looking at it and you're in the red most months, then that'd be an indicator. But if you're looking at it and you're finding a couple hundred dollars of margin and you're realizing man, I could be paying more towards these credit cards and clear those out, I might be interested in seeing this through as long as that mortgage is no more than 25% of that 4,200 every month.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

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[Ken Coleman]

Our scripture today comes from 1st Peter 1, verse 6 so be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. Our quote of the day from Ronald Reagan. The future doesn't belong to the faint hearted, it belongs to the brave. Oh, I see what they did there. That that crypto commercial with Matt Damon tried to borrow a little bit of that. Fortune favors the bold emergency, remember that? I wonder if they were borrowing from this Reagan quote. I just wonder.

[Jade Warshaw]

You might be right.

[Ken Coleman]

I just wonder. Jennifer is up in San Francisco. Jennifer, how can we help?

[Caller]

Hi, thank you for taking my call. I. So I have a question. I am super new to the Ramsey baby steps and I have kind of a unique situation since I'm now on this track and trying to solidify being practicing financial literacy. I have a 17 year old son and I want to make sure that he doesn't struggle with the lack of knowledge for financial literacy that I did growing up. So how transparent should I be in communicating my mistakes to help him make that foundation starting now using Ramsey principles?

[Ken Coleman]

Well, I'm just curious. Curious. Let's just say that he's in the room and you're asking me. Oh yeah, yeah, sure, sure. The mistakes you really love your son to know about, what would those mistakes be?

[Caller]

Well, when I was little I Well, I guess, you know, young getting turned into the world. I didn't understand about budgeting. I didn't know, you know, the importance of, you know, making sure that you knowing where every cent of your money went with it, and it caused struggles.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay.

[Caller]

You know, thankfully now I've worked my way into, you know, a fantastic career and now kind of seeing the. Oh, you know, I can. I still have time to correct the mistakes that I made. But my most important aspect is making sure that, you know, as a parent, you want better for your child.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, I, you know, look, I love that answer.

[Caller]

Not to be is open.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, well, I don't think you have to. So my kids, of course, I have a unique situation, and my kids roll their eyes every time they see me on a video or anything like that. But, you know, I talk to them about the big picture financial stuff, obviously, in my role here. But my wife and I don't. We don't let them see our budget. We're not opening up the. That's just something they can't handle, nor do they need to know. However, the reason I asked you that first question, I'm sure that you could say if I was in a room with you and we were whiteboarding your biggest financial mistakes, you said the budget. You didn't budget. You didn't know how to budget. Okay. That's why you probably at some point accumulated some debt. I would talk about those big mistakes and just keep it that simple. And then. And then come alongside of him after you talk about, you know what. I wish someone had talked to me about budgeting. Now I use this thing called every dollar. Let me explain the concept of the budget. Right. And you walking through it, and you go, here's why. But I think kids will listen to our pain more than they will our advice. And I know that there have been a handful of times, Jade, I want to bring you in on this, where I have had some moments with all three of my kids, different times, where I realized in talking about dumb things that I did, failures that I had made, they locked in and asked lots of questions. And it started with just pure curiosity. I kind of want to know how dad screw screwed up because he might be the idiot that I think he is. And in talking about my failures, I was then and only then able to. And most of the time, they'll ask questions, and I was able to give some insight into how to avoid that for themselves. I think that's the easiest way to go. Jade, I want you to weigh in on this because I think you get some great insight.

[Jade Warshaw]

Honestly, Ken, I think you got it. Your kids are older than mine, mine are five and seven. And so we're very low on the sharing category at this point. But I agree with Ken. I mean, I'm just thinking back to the things that I remember that my own parents taught me. And a lot of it was that sort of thing. Don't make the mistake I did do this instead. I think that's, there's just a relatable quality there that young adults want to see. They want to see that they're not alone and that you were once thinking some of the same thoughts.

[Ken Coleman]

They're thinking, does he have his own job?

[Caller]

He just got his first job right after he got his driver's license.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Great.

[Ken Coleman]

You know what I think is also the greatest teacher is to let him, let him make some mistakes and then you be there to go hey and not correct him. It's going to be very hard, mom. Especially a 17 year old boy who's now distancing himself from you. I'm sure you're already seeing it and it's a little, a little.

[Caller]

I think we're about as close as I could expect to be for having a 17 year old son.

[Ken Coleman]

And I'm just telling you, having walked through, I'm just telling you, if Stacy were on the air with me right now, there were things and again, every situation is different but they naturally push away from you. And if he makes some mistakes with his own money. Jennifer, your posture needs to be, oh, buddy, I'm so sorry about that. I did something like that. Like, no, I told you so or you can't do that. It's got to be, oh, oh, that stinks. I did that, that, oh man, I blew that so many times. Hey, you want my thoughts on how do you avoid that? He's going to need that approach. But I think one of the things we do as parents sometimes is we hover way too much. Especially with teenagers. As opposed to be available, not hover, but be available when they blow it and in the right posture. And I think that's probably the best thing you can do. Thank you for the call. I love that.

[Jade Warshaw]

It's like a good salespeople person. You want them.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

You have to be far enough away that you're not annoying them.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

But if they need you, they can just.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

What's the old phrase? When the student is ready, the teacher appears kind of a thing.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

And I think with parenting, that's one of the things that I'm so stinking hard. And I'm still in the middle of. You know, I got a 20, an 18, and a 17, but, you know, I still don't do that well. But I found that when I can just chill out.

[Jade Warshaw]

They come to you. It's like getting a little birdie to come to you.

[Ken Coleman]

100%. They come to us and they're like. I'm like, oh. And I'm learning to just be like. My good friend Les Parrott taught me this. He's a world renowned psychologist. Like, just immediately empathize. First thing is, oh, man, that stinks. That's gotta feel awful. And just, like, sit in it instead of clean it up.

[Jade Warshaw]

I'm gonna remember this. Yeah, I'm tucking this in my back pocket.

[Ken Coleman]

The parental tendencies to come in and clean up the mess. Oh, you're sitting in your own dookie. Let's get that all cleaned up instead of letting them sit in it. Go. Ooh, that's awful, isn't it? Yeah, it's pretty. Oh, I feel so bad. You're sitting in that. How did we get there? What happened?

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

And, boy, it's so hard to do that, right? Like, what happened? Let them describe how they got in that situation. Crazy. All right, let's go to Sean, see if we can help Sean out on the tails of that call. Sean, how can we help?

[Caller]

Hey, guys, thank you for having me.

[Ken Coleman]

Hey, I'm glad to have you. Listen, I'm putting you on the spot. We've got about two minutes, so you can hit us with what we can help with quick. Okay.

[Caller]

I'm new to making a budget. Never made one before. Maybe it's bad timing on my end here, but I'm going through a career change. New job starts next month, as well as having a child in three months.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yikes.

[Caller]

So having a hard time trying to figure out a budget. My income is irregular. I work in sales, and. And then I'm also in the army reserve. And so that income is also different month to month.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay. You're in good hands with Jade.

[Jade Warshaw]

All right, so what I would do, I would start out by saying, what? What? What's the worst month I could possibly have? Money wise, with the armor reserve, what's the least they could pay me? And with my sales job, like, what's that base salary that I know I'm gonna get? And I would start there because you truly don't know. It's a new sales job. You don't know what you're gonna make. You don't know if you're gonna knock it out of the park or if it's going to be a struggle for you. So I would start with that lowest amount, and that way I kind of have a sense of this is the least I could make. And then from there, I'd build the budget, and I'd realize, okay, if I have the worst month ever, here's how much in the red I'll be. Or you might discover, oh, even in a bad month, I won't be in the red at all. Right. And so just putting. Having some. Some real facts to put to this is going to. Is going to help with any anxiety you have around it. And then let's say you. You do that and you are in the red. I would just kind of have some. Be formulating some thoughts, okay, if that happens and I'm 500 in the red, what would I do to fix it? Start thinking about that. And then as you start to do the job and you start to figure out, okay, this is the regularity. This is kind of what I'm used to making. You'll start budgeting based on that number. But for sales, any irregular income, small business, if you can create a cushion, a decent enough cushion that if, you know, hey, it takes $5,000 to run my. My life. I always have a cushion with that $5,000 in it, and I'm kind of pulling from it as needed. And it'll take you some time to build that up, but for a regular income, small business, that really, really does help.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, love that advice. You can do this. Hang on the line. Let's get him into every dollar.

[Jade Warshaw]

Love that, Christian.

[Ken Coleman]

Let's actually let you start. Start practicing, and you will get really good at it. Christian will take care of you. Thank you, Sean, for the call. All right, folks, remember this. There's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the prince of peace, Christ Jesus.