Financial Peace Starts With Clear Boundaries

Summary

Episode Summary: Financial Peace Starts With Clear Boundaries

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Ramsey Show
• Host/Author: Ramsey Network
• Episode: Financial Peace Starts With Clear Boundaries
• Release Date: December 30, 2024

---

Introduction

In the December 30, 2024 episode of The Ramsey Show, host Dave Ramsey and co-host Jade Washall delve into the critical topic of establishing clear financial boundaries to achieve financial peace. Throughout the hour-long session, they address real-life financial dilemmas faced by listeners, providing actionable advice grounded in Ramsey's renowned financial principles. The episode emphasizes the importance of transparency, budgeting, and collaborative financial planning within relationships to overcome debt and build wealth.

---

Key Discussions and Caller Stories

1. Leona's Mounting Debt After Marriage

Caller: Leona from Fairbanks, Alaska
Timestamp: [01:04] – [05:10]

Issue:
Leona, a 45-year-old newlywed, discovered nearly a million dollars in debt shortly after her marriage. Her spouse had incurred substantial debt through multiple credit cards and home mortgages without her knowledge or input. This financial oversight has strained their marriage, especially when Leona expressed a desire to quit her job, revealing the extent of their debt.

Advice Given:
Dave Ramsey emphasizes the importance of joint financial planning and accountability. He suggests:

• Implementing a Beans and Rice Budget: A strict, no-frills budgeting approach to prioritize debt repayment.
• Selling Additional Properties: Recommends selling rental properties to clear credit card debts.
• Committing to Transparency: Both spouses must agree to never make financial decisions without mutual consent.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey (03:02): "You walked around acting like nothing's happening, and he just assumed it was all okay."

---

2. Joni's Conflict Over Co-Owning a Cabin with Daughters

Caller: Joni from Jackson, New Hampshire
Timestamp: [10:25] – [17:24]

Issue:
Joni, a 70-year-old widow, co-owns a cabin with her two adult daughters. She had invested $200,000 solely, while her daughters contributed nothing financially. Now, the daughters wish to convert the cabin into a rental property without allowing Joni to have a personal space there, leading to familial tension and financial disagreements.

Advice Given:
Dave Ramsey advises Joni to:

• Sell the Cabin: Given her daughters' lack of financial contribution, selling the property to recoup her investment is prudent.
• Legal Action: If necessary, use legal means to reclaim her investment, emphasizing the unfairness of the current arrangement.
• Avoid Future Joint Ventures: Cautions against entering into financial agreements without clear contributions and agreements from all parties involved.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey (13:02): "Why did you put them on here knowing that this is going to be. This is going to bite your leg off."

---

3. Darlie's Dilemma with In-Law Loans

Caller: Darlie from Fredericksburg, Virginia
Timestamp: [21:08] – [29:24]

Issue:
Darlie and her husband borrowed $40,000 from her in-laws at a 4.5% interest rate to purchase a house, which they have since reduced to $22,401. With the addition of a new baby and her stepping out of the workforce, they are struggling with the loan repayment, especially amidst following the Baby Steps program.

Advice Given:
Dave Ramsey recommends:

• Immediate Repayment: Use available savings to pay off the loan promptly to eliminate the debt burden.
• Avoid Mixing Family with Finances: Highlights the complications that arise when financial matters intertwine with familial relationships.
• Stick to the Baby Steps: Continue following the structured financial plan without deviating due to external pressures.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey (24:04): "This was a stupid butt idea and y'all need to clean it up."

---

4. Jeannie's Struggle with Closing Credit Cards for a Better Credit Score

Caller: Jeannie from New Jersey
Timestamp: [31:18] – [37:19]

Issue:
Jeannie is at Baby Step Three, aiming to pay off her last credit card to improve her credit score for a forthcoming home purchase. She's grappling with the anxiety of closing her final credit card despite having a zero balance.

Advice Given:
Dave Ramsey advises:

• Cut Up the Credit Card: Emphasizes that closing the account will help in achieving a debt-free status, which is crucial for financial peace.
• Understanding Credit Scores: Explains that having an open credit card with zero balance can still affect her credit score negatively by making it appear she has limited credit options.
• Stay Focused on Financial Goals: Encourages her to prioritize long-term financial stability over short-term comfort.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey (32:01): "You cannot be indeterminable while you have open credit accounts."

---

5. Jack's Overwhelming Debt and Failed Business Venture

Caller: Jack from Cincinnati
Timestamp: [53:18] – [82:06]

Issue:
Jack and his wife have accumulated $120,000 in debt, including a $50,000 401k loan, with ongoing credit card debts. Jack's side woodworking business is unprofitable, costing them time and money, and their marriage is strained due to financial stress.

Advice Given:
Dave Ramsey recommends:

• Sell Non-Essential Assets: Such as cars and trailers to free up funds.
• Eliminate the Failing Business: To stop further financial drain and reclaim precious time for the marriage.
• Strict Budgeting: Adherence to a detailed budget to live within their means and aggressively pay down debt.
• Avoid Bankruptcy: Highlights the adverse consequences of bankruptcy, especially with non-bankruptible debts like student loans.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey (81:13): "You guys just got to dig in, clean all the, you know, get all the tangles out of the hair. Get everything straight and then decide what you're gonna cut."

---

6. Amanda's Consideration of Bankruptcy for Combined Personal and Business Debt

Caller: Amanda from Washington D.C.
Timestamp: [75:02] – [82:16]

Issue:
Amanda and her husband face a combined debt of $90,000, encompassing both personal and business liabilities. Her husband suggests filing for bankruptcy as a solution to eliminate the debt, but Amanda is uncertain about its implications.

Advice Given:
Dave Ramsey advises:

• Reject Bankruptcy as a Solution: Especially since student loans are non-bankruptible and filing would jeopardize their home.
• Focus on Debt Repayment: Emphasizes adhering to the Baby Steps and leveraging their income to systematically eliminate debt.
• Increase Income Streams: Encourages Amanda to seek higher-paying opportunities and monetize her artistic skills to accelerate debt repayment.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey (76:01): "Filing bankruptcy is off the table. Even if it wasn't the case, you still wouldn't file bankruptcy when you have 120, $130,000 income on $50,000 worth of debt."

---

7. Paige's Boundary Issues with Visiting Parents

Caller: Paige from Delaware
Timestamp: [63:57] – [67:05]

Issue:
When Paige's parents visit, they send her bills for incidental items purchased during their stay, such as food ingredients and toiletries. Paige questions whether it's inappropriate to ask her parents to contribute to these expenses.

Advice Given:
Dave Ramsey emphasizes:

• Generosity and Hospitality: As hosts, Paige should cover expenses for her guests, regardless of who they are.
• Setting Clear Boundaries: Reinforces that expecting guests to pay for incidental items is unconventional and strains relationships.
• Encouraging Generosity: Suggests that parents should contribute positively rather than send bills after their stay.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey (65:14): "Whenever somebody's playing whack a mole with their anxiety, when it just keeps moving, that tells me the underlying system's not okay."

---

Insights and Takeaways

1. Transparent Communication is Crucial:
   Whether in marriage or familial relationships, open discussions about finances prevent misunderstandings and build trust.

2. Avoid Mixing Family with Finances:
   Financial dealings with family members often lead to complications. It's advisable to maintain clear financial boundaries to preserve relationships.

3. Adherence to Structured Financial Plans:
   Following established financial methodologies like Ramsey's Baby Steps provides a clear roadmap to financial stability and success.

4. Prioritize Debt Repayment Over Business Ventures with Negative Returns:
   It's essential to eliminate high-interest debts before investing in or maintaining unprofitable business ventures.

5. Generosity Should Not Come at Financial Cost:
   Hospitality should be an act of generosity without expecting financial returns, ensuring relationships remain unaffected by monetary transactions.

6. Bankruptcy Is Not a Panacea:
   Filing for bankruptcy, especially with mixed personal and non-bankruptible debts, can have severe long-term consequences, including loss of assets like homes.

---

Conclusion

In "Financial Peace Starts With Clear Boundaries," Dave Ramsey and Jade Washall underscore the importance of establishing and maintaining clear financial boundaries to achieve peace and prosperity. Through real-life caller stories, they illustrate how intertwined finances can jeopardize personal relationships and financial freedom. The episode serves as a compelling reminder that disciplined budgeting, transparent communication, and adherence to proven financial strategies are paramount in overcoming debt and building lasting wealth.

---

Note: This summary excludes promotional segments, advertisements, and non-content discussions to focus solely on the valuable financial insights and advice provided during the episode.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, the Ramsey show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create actual amazing relationships. Thank you for joining us, America. I'm Dave Ramsey. Your host, Jade Washall, best selling author Ramsey personality is my co host today. So we're going to take your calls. The phone number is 888-825-5225. Leona starts off this hour in Fairbanks, Alaska. Hi, Leona, how are you?

[Jade Warshaw]

Hey, Dave. I'm great. How are you doing?

[Dave Ramsey]

Better than I deserve. What's up?

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, so I'm calling because I am pretty newly married. Not my first rodeo, but one of the things I did, I made a mistake of is not doing my financial background check on my new spouse. And so October, we got married in May. In October, we had realized that we are close to a million dollars in debt. And.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wait a minute. Slow down. Wait a minute. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. I got lost in this already. I want to make sure I'm with you. So you're how old?

[Jade Warshaw]

I am 45.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. And you've been married before? You said not first rodeo. Okay, so you met a guy and you married him and you said it was a mistake to not do a background check.

[Jade Warshaw]

No, a financial check with Neil Martin.

[Caller]

Conversations about money is what you're saying.

[Jade Warshaw]

I didn't check to see what kind of debt ratio.

[Dave Ramsey]

Did you ask him?

[Jade Warshaw]

No.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so you just kind of walked in blindly. He thought you didn't care. Turns out you cared. Okay.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right, I guess. And so you've been married for how long?

[Jade Warshaw]

For about nine months.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. And then you woke up one morning and decided to ask or he decided to tell you. What happened?

[Jade Warshaw]

I wanted to quit my job. And so in that I wanted, I asked him if that was possible. We went back and forth. I said I really need to see the budget, assuming he kept one. And I found out there that he didn't keep a budget. But when I started pulling things together, finding about 17 credit cards, I realized there's no way and he was heavily reliant on my income as well to pay off.

[Dave Ramsey]

How was he making it before you were married?

[Jade Warshaw]

As a bachelor, he was just a heavy spender.

[Dave Ramsey]

If he couldn't make it without your salary. Now, how was he making it without your salary before you were married?

[Jade Warshaw]

Right. He bought a $500,000 house.

[Dave Ramsey]

Since you were married.

[Jade Warshaw]

My name is not on the title.

[Dave Ramsey]

Since you got married. When did he buy the $500,000 house?

[Jade Warshaw]

August. It closed. So we were married.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you're married. You bought a house. Okay, you were aware you were buying a house?

[Jade Warshaw]

I was.

[Dave Ramsey]

So $500,000 is owed on the house. And you said there's a million dollars. What's the other $500,000?

[Jade Warshaw]

There's about. There's another house that he had. It's a $300,000 home. Just that we were. We have it as a rental right now.

[Dave Ramsey]

What's owed on it?

[Jade Warshaw]

330.

[Caller]

Okay, so did you not know about the rental?

[Jade Warshaw]

No, I did.

[Dave Ramsey]

You just didn't think about it. All right, so 830. Yeah, it was just move 830,000. And now what other. What's the other $200,000 in debt?

[Jade Warshaw]

He has a HELOC loan and some medical debt, and then about a hundred and almost $200,000 in credit card.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, and so what's your question?

[Jade Warshaw]

I mean, how do I not murder him? A.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's not his fault. It's yours.

[Caller]

You didn't ask.

[Jade Warshaw]

No, I know.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, he doesn't get murdered. You might, but he doesn't.

[Jade Warshaw]

Great.

[Dave Ramsey]

You walked around acting like nothing's happening, and he just assumed it was all okay. He's living his life like a, you know, just happy as he can be. Happy as a little old clam. And then you came along, wanted to quit your job, and he couldn't do it. So you're the one that didn't do anything. I mean, he's got a mess. There's no question about that. We don't need to murder him. Does he want to clean this up?

[Jade Warshaw]

So far, he's been doing everything. We have a financial Peace University coach right now who's helping us untangle a lot of things and.

[Dave Ramsey]

Great, so both houses are for sale?

[Jade Warshaw]

No.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, they need to be.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay?

[Dave Ramsey]

Y'all are broke people. Yeah, because I'm guessing there's a little bit of equity in these houses you can use to clean up this stupid butt credit card mess. This guy spends like he's in Congress.

[Caller]

Hey, by the way, what do you guys earn? What's the income between the two of you?

[Jade Warshaw]

200,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

You can dig through it pretty quick. Then you might even get to keep the house you're living in. But the rental needs to go immediately. Yeah, and that's where the HELOC lay in, too, right?

[Jade Warshaw]

I think the HELOC is on the new house. But both my. Our coach and I are both confused about that. It's just. It's just messy.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay? And so, number one, the two of you, next time you meet with a Coach, you have to raise your right hand and swear before the judge. I promise to never do anything with money ever again without my spouse knowing it. Both of you, Both of you, you do not have the right to act surprised after this point, up to this point, because you walked into it begging for a surprise. But now, after, from today on, he doesn't make any moves anymore because he's really not good with money. We really can't trust his judgment. He really sucks at this.

[Caller]

And honestly, you're lucky that he agreed to go through financial peace and has the wherewith to want to change it. Yeah, you got lucky there.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, I think you guys get on a beans and rice budget. You sell the rental, follow what the coach is telling you. You may have to sell the big house, you may not how much you owe on your stupid cars.

[Jade Warshaw]

So that's messy. His. His wife passed and there are two vehicle. There's one vehicle in her name and a motorhome in her name.

[Dave Ramsey]

And so was the dad in her name?

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, but. But he kept the rest of the estate too, right? Yeah. So it's not messy. Both of those need to get sold yesterday. Did he not probate a will or probate the estate?

[Jade Warshaw]

No, he didn't. He just actually told the bank like two weeks ago that she passed away two years ago.

[Dave Ramsey]

So the bank will.

[Caller]

He just now told the bank that she passed away?

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah, so the bank is pretty upset right now, so. Because he's had the stuff in possession for two years.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. So this level of denial and deception that he has lived his whole life in has to change or your marriage is not going to work. And this level of not bothering to ask and walking around with your head stuck in the clouds, the way you do it, that has to change or your marriage is not going to work. So the two of you have to commit to a clean, clear way of living where we're not deceiving each other or anyone else. All right. And you can get these two cars sold. Do you have any debt on the two cars you guys are driving?

[Jade Warshaw]

Well, the HELOC somehow has his truck wrapped into it. I do not know.

[Dave Ramsey]

It doesn't he just use the HELOC to buy the truck? That's all. Okay, so how expensive is his truck?

[Jade Warshaw]

I think it was like 18,000 that he paid. He told me he paid off, but.

[Dave Ramsey]

That'S not too bad. I'm not sure I believe it, though. All right, so, yeah, you guys just got to dig in, clean all the, you know, get all the tangles out of the hair. Get everything straight and then decide what you're gonna cut, how much of a hair, how much hair you're gonna have left after you finish this haircut. And then you got to be clean with each other and everybody else. Quit hiding stuff, both of you. Wow, what a mess, girl. This is the Ramsey Show. What does the future hold for business? Ask nine experts and you'll get 10 different answers. Economic growth or a recession. Business taxes will go up or down. AI will help us work or it will replace us all. But there's no such thing as a crystal ball. That's why more than 40 businesses have future proofed themselves with NetSuite by Oracle, the number one cloud enterprise resource planning system. Ramsey Solutions uses NetSuite and you should too. Whether your company's earning millions or even hundreds of millions, NetSuite helps you respond to immediate challenges and seize your biggest opportunities with one unified business management suite. There's only one source of truth for the visibility and control you need to make quick decisions. NetSuite's real time insights and forecasting help you see into the future with actionable data. And when you're closing the books in days, not weeks, you can spend less time looking backward and more time focusing on what's next. And speaking of what's Next, download the CFO's guide to AI and machine learning at netsuite.com Ramsey it's free at netsuite.com Ramsey Jade Washall Ramsey PERSONALITIES my co host today. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Joni's with us in Jackson, New Hampshire. Hi Joanie, how are you?

[Jade Warshaw]

Well, as you say, better than I deserve. Much better.

[Dave Ramsey]

Good. How can we help today?

[Jade Warshaw]

Well, and my dad used to say advice is worth what you pay for it. So that was fun to start the show off with that. Okay, so I, my daughters, two 40ish years old daughters and I co own a cabin that's across the road from my house where I, I've lived at this house for 40 years and we bought the cabin five years ago. We're all three on the bead. And as he said a few weeks ago, never go into business with anyone. One reason being that they will have different interests from you and that's what we're facing. I'd like to move from my home to the cabin which needs some serious work to make it livable. And my daughters, one of them wants to just do as little as possible and make it into a seasonal rental and the other one wants that also, but she doesn't Want me to have a home there? Because she can deny it. Because we all have to agree, since we're co owners, we all have to agree on work done there. And about 20 years ago, she was doing a bunch of bad stuff, and I had told her, if you keep this up, you're going to have to leave. So I had to kick her out of the house, and she wants to punish me for that.

[Dave Ramsey]

So the way you. The way you handled that, she. You have a daughter that wants to punish you, and you decide to buy a cabin with her.

[Jade Warshaw]

It was. It wasn't.

[Dave Ramsey]

Bought the cabin five years ago. 20 years ago, you kicked her out.

[Jade Warshaw]

Well, five years ago, when the cabin came up for sale, the owner wanted to sell it to my daughters. And so they, on paper, bought it. I paid 200,000 for it. So I paid for the taxes and the purchase price and all of the repairs that we have done.

[Dave Ramsey]

So they put no money in it.

[Jade Warshaw]

Excuse me.

[Dave Ramsey]

They put no money in.

[Jade Warshaw]

Right.

[Caller]

Oh, gosh.

[Jade Warshaw]

And I bought my house.

[Dave Ramsey]

And do you guys have any kind of written agreement on this at all?

[Jade Warshaw]

We have one agreement that they came up with that says we all have to agree on any work that's done.

[Dave Ramsey]

Did you sign that?

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Why did you? I don't know. I don't know why you did any of this. If you had $200,000. Buy the cabin, don't buy the cabin. Why did you put them on here knowing that this is going to be. That this one daughter is going to be a problem from day one?

[Jade Warshaw]

I didn't. I didn't know that. And that would not sell it to me alone. She wanted to sell it to my daughters.

[Dave Ramsey]

Why?

[Jade Warshaw]

So I had no. We either wouldn't get the cabin or the girls would both be on the beach.

[Caller]

What was initially the use of the cabin when you first bought it? Did you buy it because you said, you know what? I'm going to move in here? And everybody knew that. Or was the initial purpose of the cabin to rent it out to someone? Someone else?

[Jade Warshaw]

It was me moving up. There was an option. We didn't talk about any plans. I started doing little bits here and there. Having a cabin chinked, making sure the roof was good.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, Joni, let me ask you this. How old are you?

[Jade Warshaw]

I bought it to protect the value of my house so that we're surrounded by national forest.

[Dave Ramsey]

Joanie.

[Jade Warshaw]

And it's. I bought my house for $29,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Joanie.

[Jade Warshaw]

Now it's worth a million.

[Dave Ramsey]

Joanie, how old are you?

[Jade Warshaw]

70.

[Dave Ramsey]

70. Okay. You have made a mess.

[Jade Warshaw]

That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

This is a mess. Okay? And you're really left with only a couple of options. One is to convince your daughters to deed the property over to you given that they put no money in it to start with and they have no rights to this morally or ethically. Okay? This is an absurd deal. You should not have done this deal. It was a dumb deal, it was a bad deal. You set yourself up to get punched in the nose. Now you're getting punched in the nose. So now the only thing you can do with this is you can convince them to deed it over to you. Or you can hire an attorney and sue them and force the sale of the cabin and show the judge that they put $0 into this and that at least you get your 200,000 back before there's anything split at the sale. Now you get to decide are you going to be able to convince them that you guys are all stupid? What you've done here is all stupid. You're not stupid. But what you've done is ridiculous. It's a horrible plan. And your daughters are horrible. That they took a third of this knowing that they didn't get along with their 70 year old mother and she paid 100% of it. That's kind of like being a thief. Okay? That's kind of what that's like. So I don't really like your daughters.

[Caller]

Much and this is not going to be easy.

[Dave Ramsey]

And so I don't know that you're going to be able to convince these two dweebs to turn the thing over to you. And I'm afraid you're going to be faced with a judge to do it. Or you've just gotten screwed out of 200,000 because you've lost control of this because you've got a two to one vote and the deed doesn't have any restrictions on it whatsoever. You've got three people and they have two of the votes. So. But a judge can untangle this and a judge can force the sale of the of the cabin and give you $200,000 at the sale. One other option on the persuasion side you could do is, is you can offer the dweeb some money to go away. I'll give you $25,000 a piece if you've got it or whatever to sign the deed over to me. Gosh. Which is immoral.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Thievery, blackmail, whatever you want to call it. But you. It's going to be cheaper than court.

[Caller]

She's not going to like them much after that though.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, I don't like them, so it's easy to not like them. Yeah, I mean, they're not likable.

[Caller]

That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

Who does this to their parents?

[Caller]

I don't know.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's weird. You threw me out of the house 20 years ago. I'm going to get back at you is I'm going to get you to pay full price for a cabin that I own one third of and then I'm not going to let you do anything. Good God, this is terrible. A four year old is this needs counseling. Unbelievable. So, yeah, some people's children, but the. Yeah, guys, you cannot enter into these things wide eyed open and expect, you know, a crocodile to do anything but bite your leg off. Crocodiles is what they do.

[Caller]

I just can't understand that. I even, Even if they liked each other. Right?

[Dave Ramsey]

It's a.

[Caller]

What be ever the purpose of going into something like it. It makes no sense. If she was going to move into it anyway, just buy the house for.

[Dave Ramsey]

Herself, well, the guy wouldn't sell it to her, which is weird.

[Caller]

Yeah, that's weird too.

[Dave Ramsey]

There's a lot of weird here. But yeah. Johnny, I'm sorry. I wish I had a magic wand to make your pain go away, but your pain is not a cabin. Your pain is your daughter's. And that's what you're going to have to deal with one way or another. Probably the cheapest way to do this is just buy the dweebs out and get them to sign it over. Just, you know, it's a dweeb fee. It's a stupid tax fee. And I do something stupid and it costs me money. Joanie. I call it stupid tax. You're probably going to pay some stupid tax here. You are going to pay some stupid tax.

[Caller]

They better not ask for a third.

[Dave Ramsey]

You're going to pay a lawyer. Well, they'll ask for it, you know, these dweebs will. So you're going to pay a lawyer. You're going to pay the dweebs or you're going to lose your 200,000. These are your three way. You're. But you're going to lose money. You're going to lose money. Something, something's going on here.

[Caller]

I'm paying a lawyer. That if, if it's me, I'm paying a lawyer. I don't, I don't want to fool with these girls anymore.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow, it's your kids.

[Caller]

They're dweebs.

[Dave Ramsey]

To quote a well known philosopher. Oh, man.

[Caller]

Oh, that's terrible.

[Dave Ramsey]

I feel bad but you know, I was doing a thing with some wealthy people the other day and they were all worried. They were saying, you know, how do I raise my children when we have wealth and the wealth doesn't ruin them? And I told him, I said, the wealth won't ruin them. It's just going to exposed. If you did, if you run them, the wealth just going to give you exposure to that. It's going to magnify. Because whatever goes on that's in a family is magnified when it gets wealth. Wow. In other words, the crazy gets super crazy. Right? The but I mean, this is all tied to, you know, $200,000 worth of thievery here. Johnny, I am so sorry. Your heart must be broken. Mine's broken for you. I'm angry for you. I just can't do anything about it except ra all about it. Yeah, this is the Rams.

[Caller]

Remember the good old days of the Internet?

[Dave Ramsey]

Before it was a privacy nightmare filled with spammers, scammers, hackers and fraudsters. Simpler times. Now I don't have a time machine.

[Caller]

But I do have the next best thing.

[Dave Ramsey]

Delete me. Think of delete Me as your online bodyguard, helping to protect you from the risks of online scams and data breaches.

[Caller]

Here's how they do it.

[Dave Ramsey]

They scour the web to find and.

[Caller]

Remove your data from these sketchy data broker websites.

[Dave Ramsey]

And this includes your name, your phone number, your email, your address and more. And Deleteme will send you a detailed report of what they did and how much time they've saved you. And They've saved me 66 hours so.

[Caller]

Far, which is more time I can spend trying to nail the wordle of.

[Dave Ramsey]

The day on the first try. Delete me has been around for over.

[Caller]

A decade and they now have over.

[Dave Ramsey]

100 million data removals. Which explains why they have a mountain of rave reviews and an A rating from the Better Business Bureau.

[Caller]

It's been great for my family and I love getting fewer targeted ads, fewer.

[Dave Ramsey]

Spam texts, and fewer creepy robocalls. So this holiday season, share peace of mind by gifting a delete me subscription to someone you love. Or even just like their individual.

[Caller]

Plans start at just nine bucks a.

[Dave Ramsey]

Month and you can sign up [e-mail] Ramsey for 20% off. That's joindeleteme.com Ramsey. Jade Warshaw, Ramsey personality, is my co host. Open phones at 888-825-5522. Darlie is with us in Fredericksburg, Virginia. Hey, Darlie, how are you? I said Darlia Darlia, I said I can't. I'll get it right eventually. It is Darlia, correct?

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes. Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

How can we help?

[Jade Warshaw]

Hi. Thank you for taking my call. Sure. So my in laws loaned us $40,000 last year at 4.5% interest rate for five years so we could buy a house on an assumption, a loan assumption. And that loan assumption came at a rate of 3.125%. So we couldn't let that pass by. So instead of going to the bank to get 40,000, we loaned it from that while they offered to give it to loan it to us, and we took them up on that offer. So I had a baby in December, and so now I'm staying at home. But before I. I had the baby, and I'm staying home. Now we got that loan down to $22,401 because we're kind of following the baby steps while we're trying to. So we're just. So now I'm not working. My husband is a little iffy about going under $10,000 because currently we have $25,000 in savings. And I'm kind of suggesting. Oh, should we just wipe out the lo.

[Dave Ramsey]

Does he make.

[Jade Warshaw]

He makes $76,000 a year.

[Dave Ramsey]

So are you living on a written budget with every dollar.

[Jade Warshaw]

With the every dollar app, spreadsheet and all?

[Caller]

Okay, cool.

[Dave Ramsey]

Very much in control of every dollar.

[Jade Warshaw]

Very much. We know where every single penny goes, essentially.

[Caller]

So you said you're trying to follow the baby steps, right? So, yeah. Well, wait a minute.

[Jade Warshaw]

Telling my husband, I mean, he. He wants. He's just nervous about going under $10,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

But the emergency comes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. It's his parents nervous about it.

[Caller]

He probably feels comfortable because it's his parents. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. You're feeling it, and you're feeling it for good reason. For two reasons. A, it's debt, and your body's gonna feel debt. And then two, it's debt that you owe to in laws. Like, let's not make this Thanksgiving dinner.

[Dave Ramsey]

Tastes different when you eat with your master. And the borrower is slave to the Leonard.

[Caller]

That's right.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Let's not make a complex situation more complex by adding debt to it. Right. So, yeah, if you guys have agreed this is the financial plan that we're following, then I'd hold them to that, and I'd say, listen, if we said we're following the baby steps, we need to pay off this debt and then rebuild our savings, that's what the steps say. That's what the plan is. We said we are following that. And I don't feel comfortable with this debt as your wife, I don't feel comfortable owing your parents. And if for no other reason, this should matter because of that. Right?

[Jade Warshaw]

I've told him that. And he. And he definitely understands. They're amazing people.

[Dave Ramsey]

We're not questioning their character. Yeah, you don't need to tell me three times. They're amazing people. This was a stupid butt idea and y'all need to clean it up. It was dumb. You shouldn't have done it, but you did it. And now you have the opportunity to clean it up. Don't do it again.

[Jade Warshaw]

I've heard you call so many people dumb that now I'm appreciating that I've gotten to that level.

[Caller]

You're part of the club.

[Dave Ramsey]

I didn't say. I did not say you are dumb. I said the idea and what you did was dumb. There's a difference.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

I am not dumb. And I have done some dumb butt things in my life.

[Caller]

Quote, dumb butt decision. That's what it is. I love it.

[Dave Ramsey]

I have done it. I have done it. So you guys clean this up. Get it out of your life. You can feel it and you can. This is not an indictment of saying your parents are bad. Our parent laws are bad people. They're wonderful people. They were trying to be helpful. They were helpful in a bad way, but they were helpful. They're trying to be sweet. They're trying to get you what you want in life. And they're not being mean. They're not calling you every week and looking at your budget and judging you. They're not control freaks. You didn't bring up any relationship issues. These are not bad people. That is not what the point is. The point is you have $22,000 in debt and you have $28,000 or $26,000 or what in your account. Write a check today and pay it off. That's the point.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

If it was on a credit card, it'd be the exact same thing that we'd say. That was a stupid butt decision. You shouldn't have done that. Now clean it up. It's. You got the money there. Write a check. It's just. It, it. It just complicate it makes the more drama to the conversation because it's the in laws.

[Caller]

And think about it like this. You know, your life has changed since you took that loan. Now you're staying home with a child. That's an income that's gone. You have to ask yourself, okay, if we keep this debt around, what happens if there's another major life change? What if your husband loses his job? What if he's laid off? So there's a lot of variables here that a lot of times we don't let our brain think about because it's not pleasant. But when you carry debt, you are holding risk. I don't care who it's to, because Dave talked about Thanksgiving dinner tasting different. It would taste a lot worse.

[Dave Ramsey]

And by the way, we're not gonna be at the 2 or $3,000 level in this, but for about 10 minutes in this account because you're gonna immediately start adding money to it, correct?

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, yeah. Right. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

So how much would you add to it a month? How much would you add to it a month without having these payments?

[Jade Warshaw]

700? Yeah, about 700amonth. Okay. And he's. He's expecting a bonus soon and hopefully a promotion soon.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. And a lot of that will go to. So you're going to be like, by September, you're going to be right back up where you need to be, right?

[Jade Warshaw]

Well, yeah, we're going to be down. We're going to be down at like $3,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

After we pay it and you got.

[Dave Ramsey]

A bonus and you got 700 bucks a month. Is 700 bucks a month if you don't have this payment or currently 700.

[Jade Warshaw]

Bucks a month if we don't have the payment. $700 a month.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah. And it does freak them out because we were doing. We were following the baby steps when I was working, and when I found out I was pregnant, we were essentially just dumping money to this loan to them, and it freaked them out. They were like, what are you doing?

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm not. I'm not concerned about them freaking out. That's their problem. If they didn't want you to repay it, they should have made it a gift. They shouldn't freak out. They ask you to pay them back, you're paying them back. Stop with the drama. Just write them a check, pay them back, be done with it, and please don't do this again.

[Caller]

Terrible.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's just. I'm telling you guys, there's. In the 30 something years I've been doing this, some of the saddest stories are the ruined relationships because somebody did something like loan their kid 25 or 30 or $50,000 to buy a house. And then something goes sideways, something gets out of hand, and all of a sudden everybody's torqued up and twisted up and formerly nice. Sweet people aren't for some reason. And it's bad, y'all, you're asking. It's like if borrowing money on a credit card to do this is stupid, just make it stupid times two to do it with your in laws. All right, because you're just. And again, I'm not calling you stupid. I'm saying what you did was stupid. And because I don't call people stupid, except people in the financial world that tell you to do stupid things. But the, but you, you people that were trying to help. I'm not going to. Our job to help you heal is to tell you the truth. You don't want the doctor to go. You know, I think this little bit of cancer is going to be okay. Why don't we just leave it there, right? You want them to say no, get it out, get stupid. Try sunscreen boy. You know, I mean, seriously, right? And golly. So you want people to tell you the truth. If they're going to be healers. And we're not going to hold back, we're going to tell you exactly what it is because we got a lot of people to help and we love you and we want you to win. And that includes Darlia and Fredericksburg Fence, Virginia.

[Caller]

But Dave, there's so many people who, they are sitting on savings while they've got debt sitting over there in the corner. And the, the thought is, I don't like the risk of not having savings. But they don't entertain the other side of the equation, which is you must not care that much about risk because.

[Dave Ramsey]

You'Ve got debt, because you've already offset it. You know, your balance sheet still represents a broke person.

[Caller]

That's right. The math has to. Math.

[Dave Ramsey]

You know, I don't want to, I don't want to be down less than $10,000. Well, try going into debt using up all your money then, right? You know, that's, that's a good way to solve that. So. And by the way, you can pass up any housing deal. It's too good to pass up. No, it's not.

[Caller]

Not if you can't afford it.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, it's not. You can pass up the deal on that Bentley too, because you can't afford it. Help you with that, that Louis Vuitton, that $83,000 purse, you can pass that one up. You can pass it up if you can't afford it. It's too good a deal. No, it's. You can pass it up. It's possible. I see people do it all the time. This is the Ramsey Show. I've been doing this show for over 30 years, and some of the saddest calls I have taken are from situations that are completely preventable.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

And what's so hard is I feel like one of those, especially the ones that I'm like, oh, it's terrible. People that call in and their spouse has passed away suddenly and they don't have life insurance.

[Caller]

When you have to think through, how am I going to pay my bills.

[Dave Ramsey]

In the middle next week. Yeah. In the middle of all that grief. Like, it's just.

[Caller]

It is. It's terrible. So life insurance is the one thing.

[Dave Ramsey]

Especially as a mom with three little kids that I'm, like, so big on for people to get because it's inexpensive. Zander is the place that Winston and I actually get all of our life insurance. And it doesn't cost much because Zander shops among a gazillion different companies. It doesn't cost much. You just have to admit that someday you're not going to be here. You got to say it out loud, and you got to say, I'm going to say I love you to my family by taking care of them and taking the time to put this stuff in place. The cost of stinking pizza. To get a free quote, call 800-356-4282. That's 800-356-4282. Or go to Xander.com. jade, Washall Ramsey personality, is my co host today. Open phones at, 825-5225. Jeannie's with us in New Jersey. Hi, Jeannie. How are you?

[Jade Warshaw]

Hi, Dave and Jade. How are you?

[Dave Ramsey]

Better than we deserve. What's up?

[Jade Warshaw]

I just need a little bit of encouragement and some clarification on something I heard you say a couple of days ago or weeks ago, I can't remember. I am baby step three. I am struggling with getting rid of that last credit card because I want to buy a house next year. And I do want to do the manual underwriting. But you mentioned something about having a credit card is more. Even if you're not using it is more damaging than not having it. I want my score to be indeterminable, but can that happen if I have a credit card still open on it?

[Dave Ramsey]

No, it cannot just tell me to cut it up.

[Caller]

Cut it up.

[Dave Ramsey]

You cannot. You cannot be indeterminable while you have open credit accounts. Anything, even if there's zero balances, anything, Everything has to be completely closed and zero balance.

[Caller]

Mm.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Caller]

As long as it's open. It's still reporting. Even if it's reporting a zero. A zero balance.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. I'm already in touch with Churchill, so we're going through stuff, but they. I couldn't understand what you had. You explained it before the other day and I just wanted some.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, that's. Whatever the damage is. Is that what you end up with when you have one credit card open and a zero balance and no other credit accounts of any kind, you're going to end up with a low credit score because you have almost no credit. That's what it amounts to. Even though it's not bad. It's just you don't have any. You'd be like a 20 year old or something that just got their first card and the only thing they have in their whole life. They're not going to have a high credit score with one credit card, you know, and that's back where you are and that's what you're setting up. Because the algorithm is based on how you interact. The algorithm that creates the credit score is based on how you interact with credit. It's not based on anything else. And so if you have zero. If you have zero interaction with credit, then that's when you have an indeterminable zero credit score.

[Caller]

Jeannie, you said you're nervous. Are you nervous because you're unsure of your credit score dropping to zero when you cut this up? Are you nervous because now you won't have this credit card in your life? Where's your nerves coming from, specifically?

[Jade Warshaw]

I think the nerves are coming from just having that cushion or thinking I have a cushion. And I don't want to think that, but I just, I'm struggling with myself. It's just a battle.

[Caller]

It is a battle. Look, I'm going to validate that because the credit card companies, that's what they tell us. They tell us you can't exist without us. You need us to prop up your life. You can't spend with. They tell. They've been telling us this for decades.

[Dave Ramsey]

Don't leave home without.

[Caller]

Leave home without it.

[Jade Warshaw]

And I'm 53, so I just started this in, in January. I'm just like, you know, I've been. That stuff has been drilled in me a long time.

[Dave Ramsey]

And you're single.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

And so you're. You feel vulnerable. You feel a little bit vulnerable for that reason. Yeah. And, yeah, that's very normal. But what that tells us is, and I went through this spiritually myself some 30 years ago. It tells me what I'm Counting on what is, in a sense, not a true spiritual sense, but in a sense, what is my God, what is my provision?

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, my gosh.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Jade Warshaw]

I'm going to do it, y'all.

[Caller]

It's so good.

[Dave Ramsey]

But, I mean, that's what I had to cope with. I went, who's providing for me? Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

I don't like the way you put that.

[Dave Ramsey]

I know, but that's what I had to hear in my head. And it wasn't like a golden calf worshiper. I'm not saying that that's not what you're doing. But the thing is this, I figured out. I really can't count on them to make my life good. I can count on me and my hard work and my diligence and discipline and wisdom, and I can count on God providing for me. My heavenly Father, who's crazy about me. I can count on those two things, but I 100% can't count on Wells Fargo.

[Jade Warshaw]

Look, exactly.

[Caller]

That's a word.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's it. And that's, you know, who is my provider. And that's what they've done. They've gotten their tentacles around their claws around that portion of our heart that says, don't leave home without it.

[Caller]

Don't leave home. And that's.

[Dave Ramsey]

Turns out Daniel Boone did, and he was all right. He did okay, you know, yeah, we got bankrupt. But anyway.

[Caller]

But yeah, instead of relying on credit and credit scores, I. I just, like, give yourself credit. Give yourself credit that you can handle your own money. Give yourself credit that you can budget and you're a big girl and a big boy thing.

[Dave Ramsey]

How that word is interchangeable? It is credit, as in I'm gonna go in debt or I'm gonna give myself credit. Cred. Street cred. I'm gonna give myself the belief in myself.

[Caller]

I'm putting that in the quick read.

[Dave Ramsey]

And that's what I'm thinking, you know, but that's why the credit cards have begun. And the FICO score, really, when we talk about this, don't worship at the altar of the great Fico. Oh, great Fico, provider of all good things. We bring you offerings of interest so that you give us a bigger score that has nothing to do with nothing except how much we play kissy face with a bank. And, you know, we, we really. This is our provider.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, Fico. Good old Fico. And I, I think of these bad B movies with, like a, you know, like a pyramid with flames coming out of the top and the, you know, the, the, the, the, you know, the, the Face. The face made out of stone. And the smoke coming out the ears.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Great Fico. Oh, great Fico. We worship you like we're Mayans or something. Oh, my God. Give me a break.

[Caller]

No, none of that.

[Dave Ramsey]

But I mean, not picking on her. But I mean, that's where I was too.

[Caller]

I get it. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

We were convinced the best way to become wealthy is to go in debt. Stay in debt. Buy the people who want you to go into debt and stay in debt. They've convinced us of that. The borrower is truly slave to the lender. Good. Hey, another one down. She's going to cut it up. Jade. We did.

[Caller]

She is. She's going to do it.

[Dave Ramsey]

She's going to do it. Kyle's in Spokane. Hey, Kyle, what's up?

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes, sir. Happy to speak with you. Mr. Ramsey and Mrs. Walshaw. Today I have a quick question. My wife and I are on baby steps 4, 5 and 6. We recently sat down with a few of your smartvestor pros, all of whom are excellent.

[Dave Ramsey]

Good.

[Jade Warshaw]

We've narrowed it down to two.

[Dave Ramsey]

Good.

[Jade Warshaw]

But there's one big difference between them. They'd both be great to work with, but I hope to get some guidance. One is strictly fee based. They assess 1% of the account value annually. That would decrease by a few tenths as the account increases in value. The second is commission based where it's three and a half percent of all new money invested. In the long term, it seems like the fee based approach would be way more expensive. But he argues that commission based guys may use mutual funds with higher maintenance fees to kind of compensate themselves with.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, that would not be true of a smartvestor. Someone that has integrity would not do that. So a smartvestor that's wanting to charge you. I buy commission based, but most people do managed funds like you're talking about. The vast majority of our smart Mr. Pros are managed funds or the 1% plan. Okay, the vast majority of them are. But there's nothing inherently automatically bad about one or the other. And you're right. Technically you will come out cheaper with the commission base than the managed base. Technically. Okay. Over the scope of your life. Okay. Mathematically. But neither one is a ripoff. Both are worth the money. And so like, like I'm pretty sure, for instance, Rachel and Winston have theirs on the 1% plan and I do the old fashioned. The old. The. The old fashioned commission plan. That's more of an old fashioned style. Okay. But it is cheaper. They're called a shares. You're buying A shares and the most you'd get charged is five and three quarter on the front end and then nothing after that. Nothing ever after that. And so what's it take? It takes five and three quarter years to break even on that. Right. And so after that you're making money. So 10 years in you make. But either one or neither one are going to keep you from getting rich. Having a good financial advisor is going to make you rich because they're going to keep you in the game. They're going to have the heart of a teacher. And I wouldn't turn around spit for the difference. I, if I were you, I wouldn't pick it based on that. I would instead pick it based on which one of these two your wife likes best.

[Caller]

Okay, that's a, that's good advice right there.

[Dave Ramsey]

Which one did she like?

[Jade Warshaw]

Very good, sir.

[Dave Ramsey]

Which one does she like best?

[Jade Warshaw]

It's the, the fee based.

[Dave Ramsey]

Then go with that.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

She just likes that guy the best.

[Jade Warshaw]

Well, he is handsome, I'll give him that much.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, I didn't mean that. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. No, that's not a reason to pick them either. Otherwise no one would ever listen to my advice.

[Caller]

I was about to say.

[Dave Ramsey]

Hey, you weren't about to say that.

[Caller]

No, I was about to say I know Dave is not talking about oh.

[Dave Ramsey]

My, oh my, oh my, oh my. Who can find a virtuous wife for her worth is far above rupees. The heart of her husband safely trusts her and he will have no lack of gain. This is the Ramsay show. Hey guys. I've never done this before but I'm partnering with a nutrition company, Field of Greens. Each fruit and vegetable in Field of Greens is selected by doctors to support heart, liver and kidney health plus metabolism for healthy weight. And your doctor will notice your improved health or field of Greens will give you your money back. I can get behind a promise like that. Go to fieldofgreens.com Ramsey and get 15% off with promo code Ramsey. Fieldofgreens.com Ramsey live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey show. Where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create opportunity, sexual, amazing relationships. Jade Washall Ramsey personality, best selling author is my co host today as we take your calls about your life and your money. The Phone number is 3882-55225. Jack starts this hour in Cincinnati. Hey Jack. Welcome to the Ramsey show. Hey Dave, how are you this afternoon? Better than I deserve. What's up? So I've Dug myself a hole. And I don't know what the right answer is.

[Jade Warshaw]

I probably do know what the right.

[Dave Ramsey]

Answer is, but I don't know how to get out of it. Okay, what happened? Well, to make a long story short, my wife and I got married two years ago after dating for about six years. We waited till all the kids were out of high school and we could combine households a little more easily. After a big wedding, we started trying to pay stuff off, but the minute we got home from the honeymoon and when business became. When it became the business of a relationship, the relationship changed. And that's where the problem lies. So in the process of paying stuff off last July, we decided, because we weren't making any Progress on the 4 or on the credit cards, we made it a really wise decision to take a 401k loan for $50,000, payable in two years to pay it off. But now the credit cards are coming back. So I've got a list if you want a list, but just not sure what to do with it. What's the. So your core question is, what? How do I fix this and fix my. And keep my marriage? Okay. Okay. Wow. All right, so you've got a total of how much debt? 120. Okay. And 50 is a 401k. Now 35 left. That's correct. Oh, 35 of the 120. Okay, 35 of that 401k is left.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, there's 35 of your 120 is a 401k loan. What is the other 85,000. Okay, so we've got credit card with 11. Eight. Credit card was 7200. Credit card with 19. Two credit card with 2900. Two cars at 3108. And 22 for my daughter's car at 2900, which will be paid off very shortly, and a trailer for my losing business at 4300. Okay. All right. And what's your household income? About 200. Okay. What's the losing business? What's that mean? So to fund an early retirement, I have a woodworking business that I do on the side. It's taking up six to eight hours a night and every weekend. And in the last two years, we've lost about $10,000 a year. Okay, so that sounds like taking up a bunch of money and a bunch of time both. That's kind of an easy decision, isn't it? I need the eight hours to spend on my marriage. I need the $10,000 to spend on something else rather than a Losing business. Close it and sell off the stuff. Why wouldn't you do that? I could. Yeah, you could. You'd have eight hours to spend on your marriage. You said you're spending eight hours a night on this? Yeah, I'm normally. I'm normally in my shop until between 9 and 10 o'clock every night. Yeah. That's good for marriage. Yeah. Okay. And especially since you're not making any money. I mean, if you were making $10,000 a night or something, she'd probably be tolerant, but. Okay, so you have $200,000 income. You have cars coming out your ears, credit cards coming out your ears. Now the credit cards are growing back, so that tells us that you guys continue to spend more than you make. If the credit cards are growing back. Right.

[Caller]

Yeah. You took the HELOC out for the credit cards. Tell me what you're spending this money on. Is this just putting food on the table? Is this funding your business? What's. What's going on these credit cards.

[Dave Ramsey]

So three. Three of those cards are funding the business. One of them goes away in a week because I made a big sale.

[Caller]

Did you cut them up yet?

[Jade Warshaw]

They're put away.

[Dave Ramsey]

They're not cut up.

[Caller]

Okay, there's the problem.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. No, there's a different problem. I disagree. The two of you have not sat down and said with a written budget that we're going to live on less than $200,000 a year. Why?

[Jade Warshaw]

To be honest, we have.

[Dave Ramsey]

But then something always comes in. So you just didn't stick to it. Pretty much. So an example of something that comes in is what, $4,000 collection item from Verizon from four years ago that we didn't know was coming? Or a foreclosure for her and her ex husband on timeshare, of all things that paid immediately because his credit doesn't need to be affected. I'm sorry, I know timeshare is your favorite word. No, I don't understand why his credit matters to you. Well, to his ex wife. She. She was obligated to pay it in the divorce. Oh, okay. So she knew she had that and the Verizon bill was hers too. Yes. So she knew. She knew she had that. She just didn't know when they were going to drop. But she knew these were unpaid bills. And if she's an adult, I'm missing something here, Jack. Okay, I don't understand why this is ending your marriage. Because the two of you can't get on the same page or what's the problem?

[Jade Warshaw]

So the stress of the bills is weighs heavy.

[Dave Ramsey]

And we go out and we go out and we do. We go to, like, a craft show on the weekend, and we make a little bit of money, and all of a sudden, we're all in and we're ready to go take this business into early retirement. But by Tuesday, when it rolls around and we're back out in the shop, it's. It's, oh, holy cow, we got to make. We got to work, work again.

[Caller]

So you just have the short term.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's your side hustle, right? You have a $200,000 income, and the two of you can't decide to live on that. That's what's confusing to me.

[Caller]

I think that your mindset is there's some place in your brain where you think you can kind of windfall yourself out of this, Whether it's, hey, we'll just take out the heloc and that'll be our windfall to get out of this, even though it's not, or, hey, we can go to these craft shows, and maybe we can make enough money to get a windfall and get out of this. And I think what Dave is getting at is you guys haven't truly looked at your behavior together as a team. If you set a course and say, we're going to do this, no one else can make you follow that course of action other than the people in the mirror. And that's what we're getting at, is.

[Dave Ramsey]

So, Jack, if you wanted to have some dramatic moves forward, okay, I can give you four things right now that if you go do them by the end of the time you do those, which should be within two weeks, you're going to have a completely different scenario in your life. Sell both cars, sell the trailer, get out of the woodworking business, sit down with your spouse and do a written, detailed budget where the two of you live on less than your day income, and you guys can clean this mess up in no time. But you're. You know, you're screwing around with craft shows, losing $10,000 a year and eight hours a night and losing your butt, and you can't sit down and manage to make it through a $4,000 bill making 200k. So you can do this, but you got two stinking expensive cars, you got a stinking expensive hobby that you wish was a business, and the two of you aren't working together. That's the answer, right? Those four things. Hang on. We're going to put you through Financial Peace University, see if we can help you, too. This is the Ramsey Show. Hey, I'm excited to talk about a new sponsor Burner. You all probably know I'm a gun guy, but I'm big on safety, so I'm also a burner guy. Burner is the ungun, a less lethal option that protects you in more ways than one. A burner is effective self defense when you need it. It also helps protect your assets from lawsuits if you have no choice but to use force. Because a burna pistol immobilizes attackers without fatal harm. I have several burner pistols and I love them. In fact, I had a burner before they started advertising with us. They're easy to use with no recoil and no noise reduction needed. They're legal in all 50 states with no permits required. And because they're not firearms, they can be shipped right to your door. And you can train with a burner right in your backyard. Plus, our listeners can get the Ramsey burna bundle for 10% off, which includes a burner pistol, CO2 cartridges and ammo. And other burner products like safety alarms, defense sprays and body armor are also 10% off. For Ramsey fans, see why Burna has more than 15,000 five star reviews. Just go to byrna.comdave to learn more. That's b y r n a dot com Dave hey guys. No matter what your goals are in 2025, our New Year's sale has tools and resources you need to get the.

[Caller]

Year started strong with prices starting at just $9.99. Whether you want to make progress with your money, grow in your career, or.

[Dave Ramsey]

Create a more peaceful life, you can achieve your goals.

[Caller]

And these books and products can help.

[Dave Ramsey]

Shop the New Year's sale [e-mail] store. That's ramseysolutions.com store. Jade Washall, Ramsey personality, is my co host today. Thank you for joining us. Hey folks, we know a lot of people who tune into every single episode that we do. Thank you for that. And you know all the answers. You can answer the questions faster than we can, but you're still stressed. You're still stuck. Why is that? Because it turns out knowing what to do isn't the deal. Doing it is the deal. You can know what to do and not do it and have no success whatsoever. Thus, the problem with only knowing application is part of wisdom. And the proven way to change your behavior with money is by taking Financial Peace University. It's our nine week class or nine lesson class. A lot of people do it in nine weeks. You get with a superhero called a coordinator that will encourage you and hold you accountable. Act as your personal trainer as you go through. And you're in a class either virtually or in a group class over at your church. That's why this class has worked for over 10 million people. And after nine weeks, you will never handle money the same way again. The typical person has an $8,000 turnaround in 90 days. That's right. They typically pay off $5,300 in debt in the first 90 days and save $2,700 in the first 90 days. $8,000 is pretty good turnaround. That's called ROI. Return on investment Financial Peace University. Check it out. Rams. Ramsey Solutions.com FPU Calandra is with us in Shreveport. Hey, Calandra. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

[Jade Warshaw]

Thank you for having me.

[Dave Ramsey]

Certainly. How can we help?

[Jade Warshaw]

I have a question about baby step number one, and I kind of want you to give me a bit of a critique on if you think I'm real serious about this or not.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Caller]

All right.

[Dave Ramsey]

What's going on?

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. So I am halfway through baby step number one, working on saving that thousand dollars. And unfortunately, in my city, well, really in all of Shreveport, Bossier and some of the architects, our power was out. And so I had to throw away my whole fridge, basically, and refill it. And it set me back a bit, but that's neither really here nor there. The electricity's back on. Great. But it's like every time I start to save my money, if something like this happens to me, and I'm not really complaining about it, a little frustrated, but I am starting to wonder if maybe I just am not making enough money. What do you make even get to that? Right Now I'm making $2,000 a month. I live really, really cheap. I don't have a lot of expenses, but I do have a ton of debt. I am making, like I said, 2000amonth. I pay 650amonth for my rent, a couple hundred dollars a month, like $237 a month for my car, plus another $100 for my insurance, a hundred dollars for my phones. You know, things like that.

[Caller]

How old are you?

[Jade Warshaw]

I'm about 326.

[Caller]

Yeah. For the critique this is. I do want you to make more money, but specifically for baby step one. You got like the. The thing, the thing that's going to keep life from happening to you on this. And, you know, you take one step forward, two steps back, it's speed. You've got to come in like a wrecking ball and just bowl through this I mean, you're selling stuff. You're going so hard in the paint. Most people save this within 30 days like that. I wanted to ask you, how long have you been on baby step one?

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, but $2,000 is. You can't do it.

[Caller]

That's what I'm saying. She's gotta go. She's gotta pick up all the work, do all the things, the babysitting, the house.

[Dave Ramsey]

What do you do for a living?

[Jade Warshaw]

I'm a banker. I work at a bank full time.

[Dave Ramsey]

Doing what?

[Jade Warshaw]

I'm just a teller.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. All right.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah. I'm not like one of those loan specialists or anything like that. I just got this job like two months ago. Okay. Well, not two months ago, like in February. High school education that I started. Yep. I'm back in college. I'm going for my associates in business and then I will get a better paying job and then I will continue on with my bachelor's in business.

[Caller]

How are you paying for the associates?

[Jade Warshaw]

Actually, my job is paying for it for me.

[Caller]

Great, great, great. Yeah. So there's a path. You have a path in front of you to earning more, which is good. But for the here and now, we've got to find ways to earn more. And I'm not saying that I like that you're on a path to earning more, but you got to pick up more hours somehow. Maybe not, obviously. Maybe not at the bank. I'm not sure what they offer there.

[Dave Ramsey]

Let me ask you something. Okay. When you took the banker job or the teller job at the bank. Yes, the. Obviously you were looking for work at that point. What were you doing before that?

[Jade Warshaw]

Before that I was a full time artist, painter and muralist. I was teaching this part time job teaching art to children and like.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so you took the. Let me, let me see if I can get in your head for a second.

[Jade Warshaw]

Did you take this job, part time job?

[Dave Ramsey]

Did you. Let me see if I can get in your head a second. Did you take this job to. Because it felt like it was like you were like being an artist. You might have felt a little bit irresponsible part time and all that. This is like a responsible big girl job. I'm going to get on a track here to build a career.

[Jade Warshaw]

No, I actually took that job because of. I took that job because back in the day I was in school for graphic design and I was paying for everything out of pocket. I'm the first person in my family to go to college and when I reached out to get support from not only my family, but for my counselors as well, I didn't really get a lot of good support. I didn't get very much feedback and I was doing everything on my own.

[Dave Ramsey]

And then I think you're, I think you're amazing. The thing I'm thinking about is I would like for you to do something that maybe is not as.

[Jade Warshaw]

I don't know, whimsical.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'd like for you to make twice as much money at something that doesn't sound as fun as banking or sound as professional as banking. If you were to clean houses and make 48,000, or you can be a teller and be 24,000. I'll take the clean houses right now.

[Caller]

Okay. Look, you're creative, you have a skill set and you have an offering that the average person can't do. There is a way that you can monetize that in some way and make more money at per hour than you're doing right now. I agree wholeheartedly.

[Dave Ramsey]

I applaud your move in the direction you're going and I applaud all the decisions you're making. I think you're an incredible young lady. It's fun talking to you. I would like for you to find a way to make, have a job that might not make everybody around you think you're cool or proud or whatever, but don't give a crap that makes more money right now. You need some more money. Yeah. If you could go make 48,000 on your day job and make another 20,000 on your side job teaching art to kids and create some kind of mentoring program or some kind of tutoring program or something along those lines.

[Caller]

Summer workshops. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

You get, you get paid. And you know, if I could get your income like, and then that increases your speed because part of the problem is, is that you're not making any money.

[Caller]

That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

I mean, it's what you're. And it's not a put down because I think you're moving in the right direction. And, and you don't have good people around you to tell you to go do this or go do that. And so we're going to be those people. Okay. We're going to help you. I want to do a couple things. One is I'm going to put you through Financial Peace University, our nine week program. I also want you to take Ken Coleman with the Ramsey Networks. He has a show on career and on jobs and he has an assessment, a career assessment. It's $30, but I'm going to give it to you. Okay. And I'M also going to give you his book from paycheck to purpose. I'm going to load you up, kiddo, because I think you got huge potential. And we're going to come around you, put our arms around you and love you, hug you and say, get them, tiger. Get them. And you call back here anytime and remind us of this conversation and we'll talk to you and help you. We'll be the ones in your corner. But right now I would rather you be in a job that is not as I don't know what the right word is. It's not respectable. That's not the right word, but it's not as professional sounding.

[Caller]

She's a free spirit. She needs a free spirit.

[Dave Ramsey]

Reflective Bankers Let me tell you about banking in general, okay? Banking, big title, little money.

[Caller]

Just in general.

[Dave Ramsey]

Just in general. And tell her bottom of that barrel. Big title, little money. Lots of, lots of walking around like I'm doing something. No money. So when someone says they're a banker, I always snicker. This is the Ramsey Show. People tell me about their experiences with big banks all the time. Bad service fees that nickel and dime them to death and predatory lending that tries to catch them in never ending cycles of debt. So if you're ready for a bank that puts people over profits, check out Fair Winds Credit Union. I recommend Fairwinds because they share our Ramsey values of helping people get out of debt and live generously. If you go to fairwinds.org Ramsey you'll see the combined checking and savings account bundle they created just for Ramsay fans. This account bundle is designed to help you take control of your finances and stay out of debt. And Fairwinds also has a great mobile app that's safe and secure so you can manage your transactions with peace of mind. Fairwinds has been helping people avoid big bank traps for 75 years, so go to Fairwinds.org Ramsey to learn more. It's easy to join no matter where you live. That's F A I R W I n d s.org Ramsey between Christmas shopping and holiday get togethers, investing might be the last thing on your mind. But there are certain things you might need to take care of before the year ends. And you don't have to do it alone. The SmartVestor program can connect you with a financial advisor near you. Whether you've got questions about retirement planning, required distributions, or anything in between, a SmartVestor Pro will walk you through what you need to know. Head to ramseysolutions.com smartvestor to get connected.

[Jade Warshaw]

Ramsey Solutions is a paid non client.

[Dave Ramsey]

Promoter of participating pros.

[Jade Warshaw]

Learn [e-mail].

[Dave Ramsey]

Today'S question of the day is brought to you by why refi? This is an interesting statistic. 93% of undergraduate private student loans are co signed. So when you're a delinquent, Nana, Uncle Joe, whoever it was signed it. They're going down with you. But there is a way out. Y refi refinances defaulted private student loans that other places won't touch and they give you a low fixed rate loan that's built for you. This is special. You guys go to yrefi.comramsey today. That's the letter Y, R E F Y.com Ramsey might not be available in all states.

[Caller]

All right, today's question comes from Paige In Delaware. My parents live in a different state than my husband and I. Everything is fine when they visit, but when they return home, they send us a bill for things that we ask them to purchase during their visit, such as food prep ingredients for meals, toiletries, etc. The items are usually incidentals, not the full cost of a meal. Are we wrong to ask them to help with expenses while they are staying with us? Okay, y'all are weird.

[Dave Ramsey]

Paige, Y'all are weird.

[Caller]

That's shocking to me.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's just both of you are weird. The fact that you ask somebody else to pay for stuff when they're staying in your home, regardless of who it is, is weird. You have a little hospitality get, you know, they shouldn't have to buy their own freaking toilet paper. And if you're going to have a meal for a friend or a relative is staying with you, you pay for the meal. And your parents are weird. They go home and send you a bill. Yeah, that's weird.

[Caller]

Yeah. I'm shocked. I truly am. It doesn't make sense. The only, like, the only thing that I could think of where this made sense is if they came and like, lived with you for like three years or something. But there's no indication. And even still, I, I have never.

[Dave Ramsey]

Stayed at someone's home and they asked me to pick up something at the store and sent them a bill. I can't imagine they let me stay at their home. And I've never stayed at someone's home who expected me to pay for something. But I always try to leave with them with more than when I came.

[Caller]

It's like, how do you keep Italian?

[Dave Ramsey]

How about both sides of this? Grow a little generosity?

[Caller]

Yeah, that's what's at stake here. It's.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow. When someone stays in your homepage, you should furnish everything and take care of it. You should not ask someone to pay for it, period. I don't care who it is. Oh, by the way, parents, when you stay in someone's home and they ask you to pick something up, pick up twice as much and leave it as a gift to say thank you for letting us stay there. And don't send a bill. Y'all are weird.

[Caller]

Yeah. Cause where I listen, if my family comes, I'm the type. I want to give you a little care box. Like, I want the stuff to be in the room, and I don't want you to think of anything.

[Dave Ramsey]

Dinner, you bring a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Hello.

[Caller]

Wow.

[Dave Ramsey]

God, man. Wow, y'all are weird.

[Caller]

To itemize. You ate. You ate an apple yesterday. Put that on the bill.

[Dave Ramsey]

Half a roll of toilet paper has been invoiced here. Toiletries. I'm just saying. Y'all are weird.

[Caller]

I'd love to see that receipt. I'd love to see what it looks like. Half. Half a bag of Tostitos.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, God, man. How you know? First time I got the bill, the next time they came to visit, I'd be going Motel 6 over, buddy.

[Caller]

Yeah. You may as well stay in a hotel.

[Dave Ramsey]

Might as well go over there and you. You settle up with those people.

[Caller]

There's free breakfast.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, you get those. Get those powdered eggs, man. Six o'clock in the morning. That coffee that's been watered down, that orange juice that's never saw an orange, man. You just stay yourself right over there, baby.

[Caller]

Wow.

[Dave Ramsey]

Y'all are weird. Tracy's in Boise, Idaho. Hey, Tracy. What's up?

[Jade Warshaw]

Hi. Thank you for taking my call. I have a question. My dad passed away in March of 2023. I'm sure my sister and I were originally. Thank you. Were originally co executors. A month after my dad passed, things got really volatile and I removed myself. I had my attorney draw up a letter to remove me from my dad's estate, let my sister be. And I've had no contact with them since. Just via a few texts, a few emails, very generic. I received an email on September 3rd for my sister's attorney. The probate attorney asking me to sign a document regarding my dad's home. Had been on the market for over a year and had not sold. My siblings want to close out the estate and put a renter in there, which is not what my dad's will says, but Because I'm an heir. I'm. In time. I have to sign this document. My question to you is, if I sign this document, am I removing all legal representation that my remaining three siblings are just going to, you know, honor my dad's will and divide things up according to the will? Basically, my dad's will is very generic, was sell all my assets, pay all my debts, divide everything by four. Nothing has been done correctly in my dad's will. Nothing has. And I've just let it happen. I mean, I stepped away, so I'm fine with that. But my fear and my husband and I are in baby step seven. We're building a home for cash.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, what do you want to do with your share of the home? Are you going to just turn it over to them, abandoned, abandon it, and walk away?

[Jade Warshaw]

I think that's an option.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. If you're going to do that, then you can sign the letter. If you want your share of the home, you can't sign the letter.

[Caller]

You don't need the money. What is it?

[Jade Warshaw]

Really need the money? Nope. Nope, we don't. And that's kind of where we're at right now. If we sign the letter, how much is the house? Maybe once it sells, and the debt that there was still a mortgage on it, we might be talking 200,000 profit divided by 4, we're talking 50.

[Caller]

50,000 each or less.

[Jade Warshaw]

Or less each.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

There are some other assets that, you know, that's not accounted for, and I don't even care. I just. Is it worth it? Is it worth the.

[Caller]

Listen, you're at your wit's end. We can hear it in your voice. You've.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, I am.

[Caller]

You've gone around and around on this.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. So I. Yeah, you got to decide. You got to decide if you want to reenter the battle or you want to walk away.

[Jade Warshaw]

So if I want to re. So my. My. My position is. And. Which is what I told my. The probate attorney. I want the house left on the market and it sold. Yeah, I don't. That's it.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's what the will called for. That's what the will called for. The executor of the will is supposed to execute. That's the. Thus the name, executor. The will. They're supposed to. They don't get to make this up. And your sister. Your sister's been making it up. And so if I'm in your shoes, I'm going to either go, screw it. It's not worth it. Y'all just take the money, I don't want it. And I'm going to walk completely away and never think about it again or I'm going to just tell this guy, when you guys sell the house, I'll take my fourth and no, I'm not signing anything until the house is sold.

[Caller]

Well, I feel like in many ways you made that decision when you walked away from being an executor, though.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, no, she didn't. She didn't lose her rights. She just got out of the.

[Caller]

Not saying that she lost her rights, but you clearly were worn slap out and were like, whatever.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, she didn't want to stay in the day to day rough and tumble. That's different than. Yeah, yeah, I understand what you're so, you know, the thing is, here's what you're. Here's what you're really struggling with is, you know how pissed off everybody's going to be when you do this.

[Jade Warshaw]

Well, they already are because they dropped the house below. Right now the house is list below appraisal or value because there's no more money to pay the mortgage. So. Which is fine. I don't care. But I don't want to take it off the market. My other conflict, Dave, but this is. My sister is also the executor and the realtor. And this is one of our first house sells, which is another.

[Dave Ramsey]

She has the house listed.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, how many times can we spell conflict of interest?

[Jade Warshaw]

Exact thing. Okay. I just wanted to make sure, like, that's my thinking.

[Dave Ramsey]

I mean, I don't know how this attorney has kept his law license if he's allowing this.

[Jade Warshaw]

Wow. Wow.

[Dave Ramsey]

This probate attorney, he should be going. No, ma'am, you cannot do that. The attorney needs to be. Oh, my gosh.

[Caller]

Is the attorney one of your siblings?

[Dave Ramsey]

No.

[Jade Warshaw]

Confirming everything that my husband and I have discussed. We've been following you since 2008. We became 100% debt free in 2020.

[Dave Ramsey]

And here's the thing. I would just say, listen, I'm not angry. I'm not angry about this. This is not about revenge. I'm just asking simply, very kindly and calmly that you guys do what the will says and we really ought to have.

[Jade Warshaw]

I need to hire an attorney.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, you just don't need to sign it.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay?

[Dave Ramsey]

If you want an attorney, you could go get one to get advice. I'm not an attorney. But if you just refuse to sign it and say, my instructions as one of the heirs is for you to execute the will properly, and that means the house needs to be sold not rented. I do not want to be partners with these people ten years from now in this house. I don't want the liability. No, thank you. Period. If they want to buy me out, they can do that, too. By the way.

[Caller]

That's a great idea.

[Dave Ramsey]

But they can't even pay the payments, so they're not gonna buy anybody out. This is the Ramsey Show. Jade Washall, Ramsey personality, is my co host today. Thank you for joining us. Open phones at Triple 882-55-5225. Hey, we were talking about the real estate market a while ago and how people are sidelined because they can't find a property because of supply. They can't. They don't want to walk away from their 2% loan or they're waiting on the presidential election or whatever. Really, if you're ready to move, I wouldn't let any of those things hold me back personally. And if you need some help, get with one of the Ramsey trusted agents. All you got to do is go to ramseysolutions.com realestate and our guys can actually help you get a house sold or bought in this weird market and help you pull this thing off. The other thing you need to know, as this particular segment comes to a close, the show will continue on the Ramsey app, the Ramsey Network app. And if you want to get the entire show every day, YouTube or podcast or whatever, you can get video or podcast, you can get the whole thing on the Ramsey Network app. Free, doesn't cost a thing. Or, you know, if you're on talk radio, you're going to get what you've always gotten wherever it is. Nothing has changed there. But a couple months ago, we made the shift to the last portion of the show is now on the Ramsey Network app. There was all kinds of data and stuff that went into that decision, and now that we are 60 days or so into that, it has proven to be true. So our YouTube listenership or viewership is up.

[Caller]

Nice.

[Dave Ramsey]

Our podcast completion rate and everything is up. And we've still got the same amount of content. And you go to Ramsey Network app, you can get the whole thing there, or at least the last segment there. If you haven't downloaded the Ramsey Network app for free, we're not charging a thing for this. Okay. You can go get it anytime you want to go get it. So just go over to the Apple Store or the Google Play or whatever you're going to do and download the app and get the Ramsey Network app to get started. And so as this segment wraps up, we'll jump over to there with you. Or again, if you're talk radio or whatever, you're going to be what you're going to get what you've always gotten. Exactly. Okay. Amanda's in Washington D.C. hi, Amanda. How are you?

[Jade Warshaw]

I'm great. How are you all doing today?

[Dave Ramsey]

Better than we deserve. What's up?

[Jade Warshaw]

Hey, so I have a question. I just discovered you all a couple months ago. Thank God. My husband and I are in about a total of 90,000 debt and I'm full on board. Like, I don't plan on using credit anymore ever. I do own a business, by the way, and so we're going through, trying to figure out how to get through the baby steps the best way. But he asked me, he said, hey, if you don't plan on using debt ever again, why don't you just file for bankruptcy?

[Dave Ramsey]

And what's a you? Where's he. What wouldn't it be we?

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Is it business? Is that why he's looking at it that way?

[Jade Warshaw]

Correct. Okay, well, no, we. It's. The 90,000 is inclusive of, of everything personal and business.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so why would you file bankruptcy and he wouldn't?

[Jade Warshaw]

Well, I guess he's looking at it as. As my debt rather than our debt. And that's part of us getting on board with everything, Ramsey. Because before then we didn't have our finances combined, so we're kind of still trying to change the language and everything like that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Caller]

How long have you been married?

[Jade Warshaw]

Every year this November.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Okay. And break the 90,000 in debt down for me a little bit. What are the major categories?

[Jade Warshaw]

Yep. So I, I have the student loan, about 40k in student loan, and then pretty, pretty much the rest is just like credit cards and personal debt. There's no car? Well, no, just a little bit of car. It's like 1900, but it's pretty much just credit card debt.

[Caller]

And is the credit cards you're using to keep the business going and what kind of business is it?

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes. So two of them were used specifically for the business and then the other were just personal between the both of us.

[Dave Ramsey]

Is the business profitable?

[Jade Warshaw]

It is. It's. It's getting there. Now it's been open less than a year and, you know, every month getting there is not.

[Dave Ramsey]

What I asked is, are you making a profit this month?

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes. Yes, yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

How much do you make this month profit profit wise? Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

A little under $1,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so you currently have a $12,000 a year job, which puts you at the poverty level if you don't get this business moving.

[Caller]

Mm.

[Dave Ramsey]

Which you don't have a debt problem, you have an income problem.

[Jade Warshaw]

No. So that's not the only job that I have.

[Caller]

Okay. Oh, good, good, good. I was gonna ask about that. I was gonna say this sounds a little bit more like a hustle until it's off the ground. Are you doing anything in the. Great. So what do you do? What's your main job?

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. What's your income?

[Jade Warshaw]

My income is we bring about 8,500 to 9,000amonth together. I'm a nurse practitioner.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. And. And that. And so we have our income together that you're. But we don't have our debt together. So here's the thing. Student loans are not bankruptible.

[Jade Warshaw]

Right. Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you have a forty thousand dollar bankruptcy or fifty thousand dollar bankruptcy you're talking about, not a ninety. And you make.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh.

[Dave Ramsey]

And you make. You're not going to get relief from everything by filing bankruptcy. You're just going to get relief from about half of it. And do you own a home?

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's going to be in jeopardy depending on how much equity you have. You have any equity in it?

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes, about 130k is the last time I checked.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. All right. Do you actually live in D.C. or do you live in Virginia?

[Jade Warshaw]

No, outside. In Maryland, actually.

[Dave Ramsey]

In Maryland. Okay. Each. Okay. Just for fun of it, I'll explain to this to you, but it's not going to change our answer. But. But it's good. But knowledge will help you. Okay. So when you file bankruptcy, you surrender all of your assets to the court and the court starts doling them back out to you. So the court would take ownership of your home. Not formally, but technically. And then depending on what Maryland has. Type that into Google right quick. What's the homestead exemption in Maryland? Jade, while I'm yakking and depending on what the homestead exemption is, In Tennessee, it's $7,500.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

And so the court would let you keep $7,500 of your house equity after they sold your house to pay your debt.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, no.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. If you were in Tennessee. Now, I don't know what it is in Maryland.

[Jade Warshaw]

Right, right.

[Dave Ramsey]

But In Texas it's 100% in. You get to keep all of it. It's exempt and it so is in Florida. Okay. So each state's different, but let's say that it's 50,000 just for the fun of it. Jad will have it in a minute. Okay. But basically your home equity is going to go to pay your debt. Is what I'm telling you. So your husband's suggestion is based in not knowing what's going to happen to you if you file bankruptcy. So you find homestead exemption and bankruptcy for Maryland.

[Caller]

It's there, but it's not clear.

[Dave Ramsey]

It doesn't say what it is.

[Caller]

Let's see.

[Dave Ramsey]

Should be just a little chart pop up. Okay. Anyway, doesn't matter. You're going to probably. Unless they have 100%, which I don't think they do, exemption.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

20,000. 5,150. Kelly just found it in the booth. Okay. So 75,000 of your home equity would go to pay your $50,000 worth of debt. So you can't file bankruptcy. You'll lose your house and it'll pay your debt.

[Caller]

Shoot.

[Dave Ramsey]

You'd just be selling your house to pay your debts. What you'd be doing. You follow me?

[Jade Warshaw]

Don't want to do that.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, we don't do that.

[Jade Warshaw]

No, no, no.

[Dave Ramsey]

And still end up with a stinking student loan debt.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

Correct.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. No. So bankruptcy's off the table. Okay. Even if it. If that wasn't the case, you still wouldn't file bankruptcy when you have 120, $130,000 income on $50,000 worth of debt because the 40,000 student loans, not bankruptible anyway. So even if you didn't lose your house, you wouldn't do that.

[Caller]

I mean, what if you guys just lived on 80,000 and paid it off in two years?

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

So I've done all the math and everything. He was very hesitant, but is going along now with the plan because I. We did this back in June. So I'm. That's what I calculated was 24 to 26 months. That's what I had calculated.

[Caller]

And that's. That's how you are now. That's assuming you're not adding any extra income.

[Dave Ramsey]

If your business, your side hustle takes off and doubles, you do it in half, you do it in 18 months.

[Caller]

That's right.

[Jade Warshaw]

Exactly.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you need. You guys need to get on beans and rice. Rice and beans on a plan. You need to combine your debts, combine your household, combine your incomes and combine your efforts and focus and kill this. You're not bankrupt.

[Caller]

And if you're not using every dollar, you need to get on every dollar because that is going to be the foundation of all of this. If you don't have that, you're not going to move it at the speed you think you're going to move.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, hang on. We'll let them pick up and give you that for free. Okay? We want you to not file bankruptcy. You're not bankrupt. You don't need to file bankruptcy.

[Jade Warshaw]

What up?

[Dave Ramsey]

What up?

[Jade Warshaw]

It's Dr. John DeLoney from the Dr. John DeLoney show with some amazing news. The latest episode of United States of Anxiety is available right now exclusively on the Ramsey Network app. This docu series follows real people from my show as they embark on a.

[Caller]

90 day journey to transform their lives.

[Jade Warshaw]

And I personally walk alongside them every step of the way. Okay, now here's a sneak peek of what the new episode is all about. And don't forget to click the link in the show notes to download the app. What's up, Kelsey? So I've lived with crippling anxiety for as long as I can remember. How do I stop it from constantly coming up in different areas of my life?

[Dave Ramsey]

What does crippling anxiety mean?

[Jade Warshaw]

Paint me a picture of that.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right, so you ready to jump in?

[Jade Warshaw]

I'm ready to jump in.

[Caller]

We're gonna check in with Kelsey.

[Jade Warshaw]

30 days, 60 days, 90 days.

[Caller]

I cannot even function because I am just crying. My mom left us when I was 4.

[Jade Warshaw]

I truly felt like for a while I had no family.

[Caller]

She's experiencing things that really hurt a long time ago. Tell me about this boy.

[Jade Warshaw]

He triggers me a lot.

[Caller]

Scared of losing Paul. Scared of doing the wrong thing. Scared of not being enough.

[Jade Warshaw]

It just feels like it would be exhausting to be Kelsey. It is. Whenever somebody's playing whack a mole with their anxiety, when it just keeps moving, that tells me the underlying system's not okay.

[Caller]

How do I get my inner child.

[Jade Warshaw]

Out of this relationship?

[Caller]

Because I feel like she's running the show.

[Jade Warshaw]

One of.

[Caller]

Of two people that's supposed to never leave took off. I was this. I was this burden.

[Jade Warshaw]

You're burdened. That's right.

[Caller]

To the one person who should carry it. All of it. Did you ever tell that little girl that it wasn't her fault?

[Jade Warshaw]

I don't know what to do.

[Caller]

You either have to choose to let this guy love you, or you gotta choose to let this guy go.