If You Want Wealth, Stop Being Dumb With Money

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show Episode: If You Want Wealth, Stop Being Dumb With Money (May 18, 2026)

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Episode Overview

In this engaging episode, Dave Ramsey and co-host Rachel Cruze (Dave’s daughter and fellow financial expert) answer live calls from listeners who are struggling with debt, relationships, small business decisions, and major life transitions. The central message is clear: wealth-building requires intentional, mature financial choices, a willingness to confront past mistakes, and the discipline to change behaviors for the long term.

With tough love and relatable anecdotes, the hosts coach callers through emotionally charged money problems, illustrating the connection between personal finance, personal responsibility, and relationship health. Notable themes include avoiding “quick fixes,” the dangers of debt, and the transformational power of living on a plan.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Marriage, Debt, and Bankruptcy

• Caller: Daniel (Indianapolis, IN) [01:06–09:19]
  • Facing marital separation and ~$75,000 in consumer debt.
  • Dave and Rachel identify hidden debt and lack of financial transparency as major marital stressors.
  • Emphasize that bankruptcy isn't mathematically necessary, especially if working together.
  • Urge counseling: “You’ve got to put some effort into this.” (Dave Ramsey, 08:47)
  • If separation proceeds, split debts/assets, but recognize the process will be harder apart.

“Everything in life is a lot harder as two separate entities. So, save your marriage.”
— Dave Ramsey [09:10]

2. Buying/Running a Small Business — Pitfalls and Hard Lessons

• Caller: Mikayla (San Diego, CA) [10:46–19:38]
  • Purchased an appliance repair business with her husband; paid $500,000 based on seller's word, not finances.
  • Business barely breaking even; huge debt, massive cash flow problems.
  • Dave is blunt: return the business to the seller, pay off personal loans, call it “stupid tax.”
  • Lessons on due diligence, using tax returns to assess value, and not buying yourself a job.

“You signed up for a half a million dollar trip around the sun and didn’t look at a stinkin’ number. Just trust some good old boy.”
— Dave Ramsey [17:42]

• Small Business Valuation [22:09–31:52]
  • Don’t buy a business before doing thorough due diligence (5 years of tax returns).
  • Don’t take on debt to buy/run a business: “Cash flow problems are created by two things…not paying your taxes and the debt.”
  • 80% of small businesses fail in the first five years; risk is aggravated by debt and lack of experience in business management.

3. Tough Calls on Selling Assets and Changing Behaviors

• Caller: Rochelle (Columbus, OH) – Should I Sell My House? [44:26–59:06]

  • Emotions are high due to debt and family pressure to move.
  • Rachel and Dave identify behavior change as the true key, not selling the house.
  • “If you change your behaviors with a fresh start, it could be a good move.” — Dave [45:55]
  • Advice: Don’t sell under emotional stress; focus on a concrete plan (budget, cut expenses, side gigs).

• Caller: Julie (Boca Raton, FL) – Crushed by Debt [87:09–95:25]

  • $575,000 in debt, painful life events, family obligations, overwhelmed.
  • Dave urges selling the house for a fresh start and putting past mistakes in the rearview.
  • Make a commitment to never repeat the same mistakes — owning the path forward.

4. Personal Relationships and Self-Worth

• Caller: Naya (Boston, MA) – Long Distance Relationship and Debt [34:09–41:18]
  • $112,000 in debt, struggling to remain “intense” with finances while in a long-distance relationship.
  • Boyfriend not working, refuses to visit her because it’s “uncomfortable.”
  • Dave and Rachel emphasize self-worth: “You’re worth him chasing you.” [37:53]
  • Encourage her to stop subsidizing the relationship, work on her own goals first.

“If someone’s wanting to date one of my daughters, comfort does not need to be a word that comes out of his mouth.”
— Dave Ramsey [39:57]

5. Mindset: Delaying Gratification and Avoiding Quick Fixes

• The hosts stress that quick, easy solutions (like selling a house to “make the pain go away”) are rarely the best long-term financial strategy. (See [54:35–59:41])
• Value of delayed gratification: maturity means enduring short-term discomfort for long-term benefit.
• Emphasis on tackling uncomfortable but necessary actions like selling an overvalued car, cutting up credit cards, and sticking to a plan.

“The ability to delay pleasure for a greater good is the primary sign…the psychologists tell us, of emotional and spiritual maturity.”
— Dave Ramsey [59:47]

6. Rapid-Fire Calls: Practical Advice

• Selling Overpriced Vehicles: Multiple callers are urged to sell vehicles where loan balance is killing their finances. “You cannot build wealth while you own too many things that have motors and wheels.” [71:04]
• Cutting Up Credit Cards: On-air, a caller audibly cuts up their card, celebrated as the beginning of real change. [84:34]
• Side Hustles: Urgency to utilize every possible source of income (“go down to Home Depot, buy a leaf blower…”) [40:27]
• Handling Collections and Settlements: For small debts, pay in full. For large amounts, negotiate and always get agreements in writing. [112:18–116:20]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Buying Small Businesses:
  “If it pays $100,000 and that’s all it pays, and you can make $100,000 doing something else, well, then don’t buy a business that only pays you what you would have made…Don’t buy a job.”
  — Dave Ramsey [24:38]

• On Emotional versus Financial Decision Making:
  “What feels good in the moment is seldom the right financial decision.”
  — Dave Ramsey [59:37]

  “Suck it up buttercup, play through, it’s for your good.”
  — Dave Ramsey [56:38]

• On Marriages in Crisis:
  “You can’t control what other people do. You’ve got to put some effort into this…talk to a counselor, be present, talk about possibly saving your marriage…”
  — Dave Ramsey [08:30]

• On Self Worth in Relationships:
  “My princess, in order for him to be worthy of you, he needs to be a working man. Period. And he needs to pursue you, not you have to pursue him.”
  — Dave Ramsey [37:53]

• On Cutting Up Credit Cards (Live):
  “You just discovered freedom, Matthew.”
  — Dave Ramsey [84:40]

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Important Timestamps & Segments

• [01:06–09:19] Daniel: Marriage in crisis & bankruptcy questions
• [10:46–19:38] Mikayla: Buying a business gone wrong
• [22:09–31:52] Small Business Valuation, Risk, and Common Mistakes
• [34:09–41:18] Naya: Relationship, Debt, and Self-Worth
• [44:26–59:06] Rochelle: Should we sell our house to pay off debt?
• [71:04] Motors and Wheels Rule: Why sell the truck/car
• [84:34] Live Credit Card Cut-up Moment
• [87:09–95:25] Julie: Should I sell my home to escape debt?
• [112:18–116:20] Benjamin: How to handle small collections debts and settlements

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Ramsey Show Action Steps (Repeated Themes)

• Do the hard work together, not alone: Budget, communicate, and share full financial transparency.
• Face reality: Accept responsibility for prior mistakes and commit never to repeat them.
• No quick fixes: Avoid using “solutions” like bankruptcy, cashing out retirement, or selling the home as escape hatches unless all else fails.
• Change your behaviors: The only way out is to stop being "dumb with money” — spend less than you make, attack debt with intensity, and delay gratification.
• Work and hustle: Side gigs, cutting out luxury spending, and making every dollar work counts.
• Value yourself: Don’t subsidize destructive relationships — self-respect translates to better financial and life decisions.

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Tone & Style

As always, The Ramsey Show delivers no-nonsense, practical financial advice with warmth, humor, and unvarnished honesty. Dave and Rachel’s familial dynamic makes the advice relatable and sometimes playful, but the core message is stern: Financial freedom is possible — but only if you “stop being dumb with money.”

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. Normal is broken. Common sense is weird. So we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey network and the Fairwinds Credit union studios, this is the Ramsey Show. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality number one best selling author and co host of Smart Money Happy hour. My daughter is my co host today. Open phones here at 888-825-5225. The call is free and some say the advice is worth execration what you pay for it. Daniel's with us in Indianapolis. Hey Daniel, what's up?

[C]

Hey, how are you?

[B]

Better than I deserve, man. How can we help?

[C]

So I'm trying to figure out if I should file for bankruptcy.

[B]

Oh, that sounds scary.

[D]

Okay, what's going on?

[C]

So right now I'm married and we bring home 70$700 a month together. But she's talking about separating and so on my own I only make 38.50amonth. So I'm upside down quite a bit at the end of the month.

[B]

What's going on with your marriage, hun?

[C]

Not really sure. Basically there's just a lot of resentment for how I was the last year and a half.

[B]

Sorry, okay, how you were what were you

[C]

not very present.

[D]

Do you guys have kids?

[C]

Yeah, I have a six year old daughter. We have a six year old daughter.

[B]

Well, typically when there's an overwhelming amount of stress having to do with money, it's the number one cause of marriage, fighting and divorce. And so if you're thinking about bankruptcy, that means you're in a mess and that's probably at a minimum contributed to your marriage issues if not being the major cause of your marriage issues. And then we blame it on or we pointed something like saying you're not present. Yeah, I'm not present because I'm totally in my own head trying to figure out how I'm gonna get out of this dadgum mess. So that could be very possible. So how much debt have you got, hun?

[C]

Not counting the house, I mean the car is 14,000 and then got about 13 on an H VAC loan and then 19,000 on one credit card, 1300 on another credit card and 4000 on another credit card.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Were you guys using.

[B]

And that's all your debt, you and your wife, other than your home,

[C]

and then. Yeah. And then a fourth credit card at 4,000.

[E]

Sorry.

[B]

Okay. All right.

[D]

Well, it's about 70. I mean, you're close to 75,000 in consumer debt. Was the credit card spending. I'm just curious, because there's multiple with, you know, relatively high numbers on it. Was that to keep things afloat when you guys were paying bills, or was that just discretionary spending that you weren't even aware that you were doing?

[C]

Stupid choices on my part and trying to fund Christmas without talking about.

[B]

Have you been running money by yourself?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. All right.

[D]

Has she. Had. She. Did she have any awareness of where you guys were at at this level of debt?

[C]

Not. Not this level, no.

[B]

So that's part of what she's pissed off about, too?

[C]

Kind of, yeah.

[B]

Yeah, Kind of.

[C]

Well, this has come out after the

[B]

fact we're almost bankrupt. Yeah. I'm pretty mad at you. Yeah. Okay. That could happen.

[D]

But it came out after. So everything kind of hit the wall with the marriage, and then other things started coming out in conversations, and this being one of them.

[B]

Yeah. How long have you been married?

[C]

13 years in August.

[B]

Okay. Are you guys plugged into a church at all?

[C]

No.

[B]

Okay. All right. Well, here's the thing. The math says you're not bankrupt. If you stay married, you could clean this up fairly quickly, working together, but that involves staying together and working together and a whole mindset change on everything having to do with your relationship, you and your wife. But mathematically, if you got 7700 bucks coming in, you could plow right through a debt, snowball on this, and get on beans and rice, rice and beans together, take extra jobs and attack. And everybody having full transparency, knowing what's going on, watching these debts fall away, cutting up the credit cards, never going back again, living on an every dollar, bud. You see every expenditure and know what's going on. She's carrying the stress of the family with you while you're carrying the stress of the family together. That's called being a couple. And we work our way through this. That is doable. The only question is, are both of you willing to sign up for that?

[C]

Yeah, this time she's not.

[D]

Okay, well, I was gonna say, more importantly, are you guys willing to sign up for the marriage, too? Right. Like, there's to a point, I have John Deloney in my head when he

[B]

talks about, can you go to marriage counseling?

[D]

That you're at a point that, I mean, I mean, the way you're making it sound, Daniel, the only way to really save the marriage at this point is it's a complete excavation of what was, and you guys write an entire new story, which is gonna take a lot of work. Working through a lot with a professional, having a therapist or a counselor involved. And as you do all of that, right, you are looking at the things impacting your marriage and money being one of those. And so as you're going through and rebuilding marriage, you're doing the debt snowball, right? And so that feels like.

[B]

I feel like I'm missing something. Has she moved out already? You broke up? Say it again. Has she moved out already?

[C]

No, she's planning to move out in two weeks.

[B]

Okay, to where?

[C]

An apartment.

[B]

Has she signed the papers? Yes.

[D]

Did you do. Was there something major? Daniel just versus you not being present.

[C]

No.

[E]

Hmm.

[B]

All right, so what I would love to have happen in your old story is for the both of you to sit down and say, before we do that, let's go see a marriage counselor and see if we can begin to put this thing back together. And as Rachel said, write a new story. Now, that's the best outcome of this conversation. And so if I were you, when I hang up, I would find a marriage counselor, call better help. Call somebody and get on the phone and start asking them how to talk to your wife about coming as one last ditch effort to sit down with a marriage counselor, okay? Because I think this is salvageable. I'm not hearing any reason here to end a marriage, but anyway, I think you guys get in that if you can't or won't, you can't control what other people do. So she just says, no, forget it. I'm done. I'm out. And that's after you talk to a counselor who tells you how to talk to your wife, be present about talking about possibly saving your marriage, not you. Just saying she's not gonna do it, Dave, that's not an acceptable answer. You've got to put some effort into this, okay? Now, if after all of that and the whole thing still goes up in flames, then you've got this debt. You're still not bankrupt. You're still screwed, but you're not bankrupt, okay? Because basically, you're probably gonna end up with half of the debt. She's probably gonna end up with half of the debt in most states, and you're going to end up with child support, and you've got a $4,000 a month income. She's got a $4,000aMonth income to work with towards the debt. And the house is going to be sold and that's going to pay off a lot of the debt, including the H Vac. And the car may be sold, but probably you're just going to pay it off and then you're going to plow through some credit card debt together and you're going to figure out who's doing what. You're going to end up doing it together whether you want to or not. Because both of them got both your names on them. Even if the judge says that one's yours, that one's yours until it's paid off, it's not done. And so. But this can work. It's a lot harder doing it as two separate entities, though. Everything in life is a lot harder. Raising this kid is a lot harder. Everything is harder as two separate entities. So save your marriage.

[D]

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[B]

Mikayla is in San Diego. Hi Mikayla, how are you?

[E]

Hi, Dave and Rachel. Thank you for taking my call.

[B]

Sure. What's up?

[E]

I'm calling in with kind of a two part question about business cash flow concerns. My husband had worked at this business for over 20 years and we recently bought it. We took out two personal $50,000 loans to pay the previous owner and to start the business. But now after two months, we're feeling a lot of Stress in our new marriage feel like we're only paying debts, not making any progr and can't breathe anymore. We need guidance on how to manage the cash flow so we can try and get ahead. The monthly business expenses are between 50,000 and $60,000 a month. But the income varies between 40,000 and 70,000, depending on the month.

[B]

My second question is, you paid $100,000 for a business that breaks even?

[E]

That's. He told us it didn't. He said that it had a significant cash flow, but we are finding that we're only breaking even. He said it's a time period right now.

[D]

Did you look at previous books of the business, like the last 12 months before you bought it to see seasonality?

[E]

If that is true, he didn't really offer that. And we kind of went on good faith because my husband had worked for him for so long. But I'm realizing now that maybe we should have.

[B]

No, not maybe. Absolutely.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

You stepped up into a bear trap. Yeah. What kind of business?

[E]

It's an appliance repair business.

[B]

What is the 50 to 60,000 in Rev in overhead on appliance repair?

[E]

Mostly it's payroll. There's six technicians, but we're also paying for health insurance, rent, software, insurance. Let's see, what else. The auto insurance website leases on the vehicles, which I don't agree with, but.

[B]

So the six. Technicians are not working all the time?

[E]

Well, there's three office staff and three technicians. We did used to have four technicians and one quit during this time frame, so we're trying to hire a new one.

[B]

Why would you want more expense?

[E]

We're hoping that he can also bring in more income.

[B]

And why would you have that hope if you're not already overwhelmed with business?

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Are you guys turning down a lot of business?

[B]

No.

[E]

Right now they're pretty busy. I think my husband's schedule, he's booked out to next week, so not turning down a lot of business, but we're at least a day or two busy all the time.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. So here's the thing. You have to ask what must be true for this to work. And so revenues have to go up and expenses have to go down for this to work. That's a basic business premise. Right. We all know that. And so that's what you've got to start asking yourself. What can I do to get revenues up and get expenses down? And none of these things are going to be easy. They're all going to be painful. Like your husband's gonna be working like all the Time. Welcome to being self employed. And the technicians, you're gonna get them to where they're so busy they can't breathe. And then you're gonna bump your rates and start charging more. And then you're gonna lay off one of the three office staff or two, and you're gonna be down there doing the books. And then you're gonna look at getting rid of these leased trucks and get some old trucks that show up. Cause nobody gives a crap what you're driving if you fix their dishwasher.

[E]

Yeah. The hard part is that I'm active duty military, so I can't move there yet.

[B]

Okay. All right.

[E]

And I'm debating if I should pause my TSP savings to put that money towards the debt. Okay.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. You guys got to clear this debt and you gotta. You gotta stop everything and get where you can breathe. But the point is, the more you move into increased revenue and decreased expenses and more margin in your personal budgets, the. The more there's a light at the end of the tunnel that's not a train. And then you can. You know, the problem with where you are is if you feel like you're stuck there forever, that's an untenable place that creates unbelievable anxiety. But when you're in a hard time, but you can see your way out doing some hard things, well, the brain will help you do that. That's a true.

[D]

Caleb, where is your husband right now living. If you're in San Diego, where is he?

[E]

He lives up in the Fresno area.

[D]

Okay. And you guys are newly married. How long have you been married?

[E]

One year.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Were you deployed or something?

[E]

No, we just met. Living in two different locations.

[D]

When are you guys planning on being in one location together next?

[E]

Next year? I'm. I retire next year.

[D]

Okay. I'm just wondering, does he have this level of stress as well? Because you're the one calling us and you're not even in the same city. In this, with the business, his stress

[E]

is easily two to three times what mine is.

[D]

And so you're just hearing it. You guys are talking through and you're like, I'm just going to call and see what they say.

[E]

Yes, exactly.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

And you don't owe this former owner any money?

[E]

We owe him almost 400,000. Holy moly.

[B]

You paid $500,000 for a business that doesn't make a profit?

[E]

That's why fixing dishwashers.

[B]

Oh, my gosh, kiddo.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. You got screwed. Wow. Unbelievable.

[D]

Okay, so what is she doing?

[B]

Listen. Hey. Here, I can help you. With this real quick. Call the former owner and tell him to come get it. Come pick up the keys, buddy. I'm done. You just walk away and walk away

[D]

with 100,000 and just pay it off.

[B]

Pay the 100,000 off and call that stupid tax. Call him and tell him to come get the thing. Screw this. You got hammered.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

For a business to be worth 200, $500,000, you need to be making a profit of 150 to $200,000. And you ain't gonna see that in your lifetime out of this thing.

[E]

And I think that's what he told us that it was worth.

[B]

Yeah, well, he's a liar.

[E]

Okay, could we ask him?

[B]

And I'll be mean. Can I be mean for a minute?

[E]

Sure.

[B]

Y' all were dumb on how you did this. Yeah, I mean, you believe this guy? Just because your husband used to work there and he got a paycheck instead of actually checking out the freaking numbers, you signed up for a half a million dollar trip around the sun and didn't look at a stinking number. Just trust some good old boy.

[E]

Yep.

[B]

That's like walking in front of somebody. Squeak. Oh, my gosh. Bless your heart. Yeah, you got a mess. This is not going to end well. I'm calling that owner and saying, I can't do this. You sold me a pig and a poke. I'm done with you. And there's no possible way this thing is worth anywhere close to what you sold it to me. You screwed me and here I'm leaving. You can come pick up the pieces and tell your husband to move to San Diego. Move to San Diego with his new beautiful wife and get a job. And then y' all scratch through your stupid hundred thousand dollars worth of debt. And when you look back on that, you'll say, that was the dumbest thing we ever did. Cost me 100 grand, by the way. I've done dumber things that cost me more than 100 grand. But, man, I can look at myself in the mirror and go, you were stupid Dave when you did that. So, yeah, this is not recoverable. I'm turning this over to this guy. I'm serious. You're not going to work your way through $500,000 in debt.

[D]

And the seasonality part is in seasonality of appliances. And I'm like, you're just.

[B]

Dishwashers don't break in the summer more than the winter or less than is

[D]

what he's telling them.

[B]

I know. That's just absolute bogus. If it was heating and air Maybe we'll talk about it. There is some come and go on heating and air. But you said appliance repair appliances aren't on a schedule for repair. Refrigerators don't go, oh, I'm gonna wait till after Christmas to break. They don't do that. So this guy's full of it and he sold it to you. And he's sitting over there grinning, going, look at these fools sending me checks. No more checks for Bubba. Nope. I'm done.

[D]

How does that. Really quickly.

[B]

I'm serious. You're probably gonna get yourself sued.

[D]

I was gonna say legally. How do you do that?

[B]

But the other thing I would do is when he sues, countersue him for

[D]

fraud and say you lied. This is verbally. This is what was said.

[B]

When you lie to do a business transaction, that's called fraud.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And this guy was fraudulent. He lied about how much money this business makes. I promise you, he lied way seriously lied. And the dumb part was you believed him. So you get to. You get to. You're probably gonna get sued, you're probably gonna have a countersuit, and you definitely gotta pay the 100 grand that you borrowed from real people. Oh, geez.

[D]

Sorry, Michaela.

[B]

Yeah, this is awful. I'm so sorry. I'm aghast on your behalf.

[D]

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[B]

Okay, now that I can breathe again, let's give a little bit of recap to talk about how to value and how to buy, how to purchase a small business, a Small business is a lot of work. I've run one most of my life. And Ramsey Today is a $300 million business. It's not that small anymore, but it's at its heart a small business. And I coach about our entree leadership team and I coach about 10,000 small businesses. We'll be with 3,000 people next week at Disney at the entree leadership summit event, teaching leadership and business acumen to small business people. So this is something that we do. It's not just a random guy who gets people out of debt that this poor lady Michaela called and had gotten herself into a mess. So it's good for us to. Part of what we want to get out of this is to help the individual caller that calls in, but we also want you guys to get a lesson and learn and inspiration from and so forth anytime we take a call on here. And so that's how we decide who we're going to talk to on the air on this show. So backing up then, number one, small business is all encompassing. It is the hardest when you own your own business. It's the hardest boss you'll ever work for. Your boss will work you to death when you're your own boss. It's hard. It is not to be taken on by someone who got married 20 minutes ago. Bad idea. Okay. It's a strain on you physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and it's a strain on your family.

[D]

The stress of it all.

[B]

When I started this business, I worked 16 hours a day, five, six, seven days a week. You talked to my wife, Sharon, when Rachel was a little bitty kid and this business was growing up that she felt like a single mom a lot of times. And she, for all practical purposes, was. That's what a small business is. You don't do that on a weak marriage. You don't do that on a new marriage, and you don't do that when both spouses are not fully engaged. You don't do that when you live in separate cities. So rule number one violated two rules right there. Okay. Before we get started, because it's hard, y'. All, it's really, really, really hard.

[D]

It's a season of grind. When you sign up for it, when you.

[B]

When you buy a business or you start a business, it's hustle and grind hardcore. And that's okay. But know what you're signing up for. And it's not gonna make everything better. It's gonna make everything worse for a while. But the idea is we're gonna make more money and have control of our destiny. And that makes things better over time. But that's not where it starts. Then the second thing is, if you're going to buy a business, you investigate and expose every single number in the business, all the accounting, and particularly the tax returns, because they may lie on their accounting and they may lie to you, but most of the time the tax returns are gonna be some semb of accurate. And if they say to you and you're looking at a business, oh, don't pay attention to the tax returns, we actually make more money than that. What they're saying is we are lying to the federal government on our tax returns, committing fraud, but we're trustworthy. That's what they're saying to you. So run away when someone says something like that, okay, the tax returns are the number. Look at least two years, but probably five years. Yeah, I want to see the trend line of the profits over the last five years and what are the profits they actually paid taxes on. Now, if you take $100,000 and put it into a good mutual fund, you can make 10 or 12% pretty much any year. So if you were going to take $100,000 and buy a high risk small business where I'm going to have to pour myself out and hustle and GR, you need to make a minimum of a 20% rate of return on your business. Okay. And you need to make probably a 25% rate of return. So here's how that translates in valuing a small business, you look at the net profit after everyone is paid, including the guy that works there that hasn't paid himself. If you weren't working there and you had to hire a manager, you take the manager's salary out and you have the net profit of the real business. If you're an absentee investor to determine what kind of actual revenue this business is creating. Because if he's just paying himself, and that's all you're not buying a business, you're just buying a job. You don't need to buy a job. Just go get a job, but don't buy a job. So if it pays $100,000 and that's all it pays, and you can make $100,000 doing something else, well, then don't pay. Buy a business that only pays you what you would have made, putting up nothing to work for somebody else. So don't buy a job instead after everybody is paid. If I'm living over here in Tennessee and I'm buying this and the thing will operate over there completely what is the net profit then? And if you want a 25% rate of return, you multiply that number times four and that's the value of the business. If you want a 20% rate of return, then you multiply it by five and that's the number. So if it made after everyone was paid 100,000 doll, it's worth 4 or $500,000. If it made $10,000, it's worth 30 or $40,000. Which means don't buy it.

[D]

And it's worth 10,000. That's right, what they should have paid

[B]

for that business instead of a half a million dollars. If you'd actually looked at this goober's tax returns, you would have seen that after he got paid, the thing had no net profit, which is what they have discovered now that they're running it instead of just working there. The skill of being a technician inside of an organization is different than the skill of owning and operating a business. You can be a very smart graphic artist, a very smart software engineer, a very smart accountant, you can be a very smart anything and not know how to run a business. There are different skill sets and you have to consider that. So if you're a heat and air guy and you've been working there 20 years, and the heat and air guy wants to sell you the heat and air company, you're not qualified to run it yet. You've got some skills, you've got some metaphorically tools you need to put in your belt to get ready to run that. Because you can fix an air conditioner doesn't mean you can run a heat and air company. Because you can sell real estate doesn't mean you can run a real estate company. It means you can sell it. That's different. So you've got to consider those things when you're valuing out and deciding, is this an appropriate purchase for me? And then lastly, if you have to borrow money to start all of this, you've increased your risk 100 times. Don't do it. 80% of the small businesses fail in the first five years according to Small Business Administration, which is really not trustworthy organization, but it's the only number we've got. 8 out of 10 don't make it. And if you're in a restaurant business, it's 95 out of 100. They'll make it. So just cause you can cook doesn't mean anybody's gonna buy your barbecue. It just means your neighbors liked it when you gave it away. That's all. That means you're not qualified yet to operate a barbecue joint and go $250,000 in an SBA loan. And now we've got Dave's Barbecue. Not so famous Dave's. Right.

[D]

I was gonna say, I think there is a Dave. There was a Dave's.

[B]

Yeah. That just occurred to me as I said that. Yeah. But the. You know. See what I'm saying? So that's the thing. You've got to dig into this. And you know why 80% of those companies fail? Those little businesses fail. Cash flow problems. Cash flow problems are created by two things in small business. Not paying your taxes because you're taking all your money home. Because you didn't have enough money coming in to eat. And now you're starving to death. And so you don't pay your taxes, you don't pay your quarterlies, or worse than that, you don't turn in the withholding. And if you don't pay your one your 142s, they're going to come get you forever. That's not bankruptible. You're going to get it. That's the withholding numbers, okay. On your employees. You have to turn that money in. You can't keep that money. Wow. And guess what? The other thing causes cash flow problems is the debt. When you went and borrowed money to start and run this business. And so one of my friends is sitting out here and he paid off half million dollars on his business. And that means he's the exception of the rule. He made it out alive. Most people don't make it out alive. When they do that, they don't make it. Don't sign up for that trip. It's not worth.

[D]

Okay, guys, let me ask you something. What would it take for you to switch your bank? Because if you're still earning next to nothing on your savings, you need to check out Fairwinds Credit Union. And I know what you're thinking. It might sound like a hassle. Moving your direct deposit, updating bills, getting a new debit card feels like a lot. But here's what most people don't realize. Staying where you are could be costing you hundreds of dollars every year. Y'.

[F]

All.

[D]

The average savings account pays less than half a percent. So let's say, for example, you got $20,000 saved. You might earn around $70 a year. But with a fair winds high yield Savings account earning 3% APY or more, that same money could earn you over $600. And that's real money that you can use towards the baby step. So don't let temporary comfort keep you stuck. Check out the Smart bundle from Fairwinds Credit Union. You get a high yield savings account, a no fee checking account, and the Ramsey Beweird debit card. Go to Fairwinds.org Ramsey to learn more and make the switch today. That's Fairwinds.org Ramsey insured by the NCUA.

[B]

Buying or selling your home is a big deal. And right now things are crazy out there. Interest rates are down, house prices are starting to change again. Things are moving. If you, if you're thinking about buying a home or selling a home in the market like this, you really need somebody knows what they're doing in your corner. Not somebody that got their license three weeks ago and you go to church with them. Sorry, Charlie. At the church, but that's. Unless you've been doing a bunch of real estate deals. We don't want you to be. We don't want people to list their house with you. We want people to list the largest asset they have with somebody that really has a proven track record. So that's how you become Ramsey Trusted. You have to have an incredible track record of performance in the real estate market. To find a local Ramsey Trusted real estate agent Pro for free, go to ramseysolutions.com agent or click the link in the description. Nya is with us in Boston. Hi, Nya. How are you? Or Naya. Naya.

[E]

Yes, it's Naya.

[B]

It is Naya. I got it right the first time. Okay, how can I help today?

[E]

Yes, So I am currently in baby step number two. I have $112,000 of that total. And I am just trying, struggling with being in a long distance relationship and essentially staying intense while also still investing and prioritizing that as well.

[D]

How far is the relationship? How far, how far apart are you guys?

[E]

Four hours.

[D]

Okay. How long have you all been together?

[E]

So it's a year and a half.

[B]

How many times have you physically seen each other?

[E]

Once or twice a month.

[B]

Oh, okay, good, good. Because I asked that question one time and the lady said never.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

And I wanted to make sure what I was dealing with. Okay, all right.

[E]

That's what I'm struggling because I recently just picked up another part time job I do.

[B]

So what do you, what is your career and what do you make?

[E]

So I'm a property manager and I currently make 65,000 a year.

[B]

What about him?

[E]

That's a great question.

[B]

What does he make?

[E]

That's kind of a struggle in the relationship. But yeah, it's a struggle because he

[D]

doesn't he's not working or he won't tell you?

[C]

Both.

[B]

He won't tell you because he's not working and he's ashamed of it.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Has he not worked for a while?

[E]

Yes.

[B]

Okay, so why.

[D]

Why is he not coming to see you then?

[B]

Yeah, he ain't got nothing to do.

[E]

He does. There's a trade off. I mean, it's just like that's the struggle. And ideally it would be to live in the same state, but.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no. Stop. You did not answer the question. You. This guy's got nothing to do. Why are you driving to him?

[E]

Because he says it's more comfortable for me to go there.

[B]

Yeah, I bet it is. He does a lot of things that are comfortable for him. It's more comfortable not to work, too.

[D]

Oh, no.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Is it bad? Do you see it's bad?

[B]

Do you not hear yourself?

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, man. But you love him. Shoot. How old are you?

[E]

I'm 25.

[D]

Okay. I've been together a year and a half, and you're just way more. Way more mature than he is. And he's gonna be a husband that's gonna. Everything about him right now will be magnified in marriage, so.

[B]

Yeah, all the good and all the bad. Mostly the bad.

[D]

And not that people can't change and grow, but for the most part. He doesn't sound very proactive right now to come to you or to get a job.

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

Okay, so not talking about the debt snowball, which is actually how you framed the question, then. We got all up in your personal business. I know, sorry, but personal business is there because it's personal finance. So you're gonna be my 25 year old little niece for a minute and I'm gonna be old, ugly Uncle Dave. Okay? And I'm gonna love you. I'm gonna love you like you're in my family. All right? So if you had a daughter, you need to think about what she would tell you or what you would tell her about this guy. The same stuff Rachel's telling you now. Having said that, if you want to pursue this guy, that's fine, but he needs to show some initiative in two areas to be worthy of you. My princess, in order for him to be worthy of you, he needs to be a working man, period. And he needs to pursue you, not you have to pursue him. He needs to get his little butt in the car and drive over and see my princess, the niece. Because you're worth that. He's not worth you chasing him. You're worth him chasing you. And if he can't do that, he's disqualifying himself. Does that sound like good old uncle advice?

[E]

It does. Yeah. It's just I am, like, annoyingly obsessed with you guys. It's all I listen to. And I'm just so sick and tired of being sick and tired.

[B]

Well, you're gonna get out of debt because you're not gonna be driving over there as much because he's gonna be driving to you. And you solved your problem, so now you can keep working your debt. Snowball. But as long as you're distracted with this character and you're the only one putting out all the effort and the money while he sits on his comfort self. So if someone's wanting to date one of my daughters, comfort does not need to be a word that comes out of his mouth. Discomfort while he serves. And takes care of the princess that I raised sitting next to me. The good kind of princess, not a bad princess. And so when Winston.

[D]

Not an evil queen.

[B]

When Winston Cruz came into my house to talk to me about dating my daughter. There are requirements, and being a productive young man is one of them.

[C]

Well.

[D]

And can I be super. Probably a little prideful. I don't even think you had to say that to Winston because he was doing.

[B]

I never had to. That makes it lawn care, prison okay for him to be there in college.

[D]

You don't even mean. Like, there's no.

[B]

But I guarantee you I'm gauging that.

[D]

Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And if you don't qualify, you don't get invited back. And that's the mean old daddy. Dad. The boys in the youth group are scared of you. Good. Keeps away wusses and jerks. Two things I don't want dating my daughter. Right. Yeah. So. And productive is a good thing for a young man, a young woman to be.

[D]

Yes. For anyone's soul in society. But again, not to be like overgeneralization with gender. But there is something about a guy of going and doing something productive with his life.

[B]

Highly unattractive to not do that.

[C]

That.

[B]

So it's to the father of the daughter.

[D]

Well, that. And then on top of that, I mean, seriously. But it'd be one thing if he's, like, struggling in the job market. You know what I mean? Like, we hear lots of stories and situations, but the final but the. But the straw of like, he doesn't want to drive to you because it's uncomfortable. I've been in one place.

[B]

I've been in a lot of job markets. I've never struggled. Yeah. Run down Home Depot, buy you a leaf blower. Rich people are afraid of leaves. You can always find something to do. There's something to do. There's always something you can do for money. I mean, that's just.

[E]

I know.

[D]

I'm just trying to give a little grace to money in this situation.

[B]

Yeah, he's trying to find himself. Yeah, that's good. My princess niece. What I want you to do is I want you to stay in your town and invite him to come see you. And if he does, he might be worthy of pursuing. If he refuses to come see you on his dime and he refuses to become gainfully employed, please move on. However, while we're doing all of that, of course, we've solved the other problem. You now can work and work on your debt. Snowball. And you're a productive person. You're a property manager, a professional young woman that makes $60,000 a year and more. And you're awesome.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Act like it.

[D]

Yeah. And if you can work extra, you know, two, $3,000 a month on top of anything you can squeeze out and anything that you can sell. If there's a.

[B]

You got a $50,000 car in that 112.

[D]

Sell the 12.

[B]

Oh, that's what. We were four hours away. Oh, good. Okay. Got rid of that, too. Can't come see you got rid of the car.

[D]

Oh, there's an excuse. Sorry, I sold my car. Can't do it. And my $7,000 car probably isn't 4 hour worthy of a road trip, so I won't be able to do that.

[B]

I'm thinking that hooptie's not gonna make the trip. So. Yeah, you gotta be careful when you call this show, boys and girls, because we love you and we're gonna treat you just like you were a member of our family or some of our best friends, kids, or something like that. We're gonna put our arm around you and tell you the. Sometimes it's a little disconcerting to hear all of that, but we love you, Naia. And we're glad you called in. And I think you've got an incredible future. But I want you to put more value on yourself. This is the Ramsey Show.

[C]

Sam,

[B]

Let me tell you something. I see all the time people are working hard, trying to get control of their money, and then their phone bill shows up higher than expected again. And they don't even know why. That's why I want you to switch to Boost Mobile. Here's the truth. Your phone bill should fit your Budget, not the other way around. Your wireless company is counting on you just paying it without asking questions. With Boost Mobile, you can unlock big savings compared to the social called big guys. Bring your phone, keep your number and pay just 25 bucks a month forever on their unlimited plan. No contracts, no confusing fees. And that $25 price is locked in forever. And if you're skeptical, that's fine. Boost Mobile backs it up with a 30 day money back guarantee, meaning you can try it without feeling trapped. So stop overpaying for something you use every day. Go to boostmobile.com Ramsey to make the switch today. That's boostmobile.com Ramsey. $25 requires customers to remain active on Boost Mobile Unlimited plan. Welcome back to the Ramsey show in the Fair Winds Credit Union studio. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thanks for joining us, America. Rochelle is with us in Columbus, Ohio. Hi, Rochelle. How are you?

[E]

I'm doing okay, Dave. How are you?

[B]

Better than I deserve. How are you? What's up?

[E]

I'm trying to get some advice on whether we should sell our house in order to pay off our debt. My husband wants to sell the house and move back to his hometown to clear all our debts and start over. And I'm just concerned that that not the right move. And I'm also just emotionally overwhelmed, so I figured I'd call for some advice.

[B]

That's not nice. Thank you.

[D]

Do you feel like the right you're concerned about moving back to the home, hometown more or selling the house or both?

[E]

I'm so sorry. I was just sitting in my car.

[D]

You okay?

[E]

Yes. My husband pushed a button on my car that made it beep.

[B]

Oh, it's okay.

[D]

You're fine, you're fine. No, you're good. No worries.

[E]

I'm walking down, down the neighborhood now. So my concerns, I'm just a little emotionally overwhelmed because I do like our house and I like our neighborhood.

[B]

And you don't want to move to his town?

[E]

Well, there's pros and cons to both. I'm just in a fragile state emotionally and I often feel like. I feel like if we just move without changing the behaviors that got us here in the first place, we're just going to have the same problem 100%.

[B]

That's true. But if you, if you change your behaviors with a fresh start, if you change your behaviors with a fresh start, it could be a good move. So what does he do for a living?

[E]

So he is a security contractor. He's a professional bodyguard for a celebrity country music star right now. And his salary, 7,100amonth. Whether he's on tour, whether he's.

[B]

He will keep doing that regardless of where you live, whether you live in his old town or the current town.

[E]

Yes. Because he travels a lot from anywhere. Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

But on his off time that he is home, he was an H VAC person with a union job which provided us benefits and an additional 4k per month. He got laid off because of his unpredictable bodyguard job. So now we're only living on the bodyguard salary and he's doing extra side gigs and picking up other security contracting and just kind of making it work. But we're just paycheck to.

[B]

So how much debt do you have, not counting your home?

[E]

So we have 10,000 on his truck and 16,000 on our van and about 14,000 in credit cards and about 3,000 in medical bills. And we owe 8,000 to the IRS because we didn't take out taxes properly last year for self employment with security contracting. And so we've got to get a payment plan set up with the IRS for that.

[B]

Okay. Have you been doing your quarterly estimates this year?

[E]

No, we have not. Because his security work this year is he gets the taxes taken out from the salary.

[B]

They changed it. They made him a W2. Okay.

[E]

Yeah, he got this salary job. So now, now when he does.

[B]

But any of the side hustle stuff he does, you've got to set money aside and do your quarterly.

[E]

Yes, exactly. Yes.

[B]

Okay. All right. How long you guys been married?

[E]

I split 19 years.

[B]

And how old are your kids?

[E]

We have 15 year old twins and I have a five year old, a four year old and a 22 month old baby. And a 19 year old.

[D]

Yeah. That's overwhelming in general. It's a lot.

[B]

That would put me in a fragile state.

[E]

Yeah, that's a lot.

[B]

That's a lot.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, so I'm going to tell you this. Unless both of you hate the house, I would not sell the house. I would sell his truck.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

He never drives it.

[E]

Well, he just recently bought it so that he had something to get himself down to Kentucky. Because he, his, his country music star lives in Kentucky, he has to drive down there regularly, leaving me at home with kids.

[B]

I see. Okay.

[E]

So he bought it. Yeah. So he does need a vehicle.

[B]

Okay. And he could use the truck for side hustles as well.

[E]

Okay, yeah.

[B]

All right, then that won't work. But basically you've got. What you're telling me is the debt you've got, you can clean up. If you guys lean into this and live on beans and rice. Rice and beans for a period of time. But he's.

[E]

I'm not sure if we can. I don't know. That's why.

[B]

I don't know why you can't. Why can't you?

[E]

Because he said he's working his life away and he's so miserable and he just. He's. He's so tired. He's so fired up.

[B]

That's not changing. That's not changing when you move.

[E]

Well, he said that it'll be a lower cost of living and our debts would be wiped out.

[B]

Yeah, but that doesn't change. He's still on the road all the time. I'm working so hard. He's talking about his side hustles are killing him.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[E]

He's here with me now.

[D]

I think he's right there.

[E]

He said that?

[B]

I don't care.

[E]

He said whatever money he does make could go towards something instead of just scraping by.

[B]

So I. Yeah, well, something could be like owning a home that your wife wants to live in in the neighborhood she wants to live in cuz she's got a freaking house full of kids while you're off on the road with a country music studio. Yeah, I. I think that's part of the. I think that's part of the gig. You signed up for him, son, so.

[E]

Yeah, I'm not saying I don't ever want to move. I'm just saying I would rather us try to dig our heels in and get our. Our behaviors fixed first before we make a rash decision.

[B]

No, you did say that. You're changing your story. You said, I love this house, I love my neighborhood. I don't want to move. That's what you said.

[E]

I do, but. Okay, I mean, I know I could be happy anywhere.

[B]

You know, that's. That's different.

[C]

Different.

[B]

You did say, I don't want to move. I like my house. And it's not because you want to change your habits. You do need to change your habits. Both of you need to do that for sure. And you need to get on a written budget. So what I would tell you guys to do is get on an every dollar budget. Don't go out to eat, don't go on vacation, Pour every dollar on these debts, cut up every credit card. You take any side income you can do to create from home. He takes any side gigs he can take in addition to his bodyguard cash, and you guys tear into this debt full throttle for six months, 12 months next March. Revisit this. And if everybody's still miserable, and we're all dying. And the only way to fix this is sell the house. Well, then sell the house. But I don't think that's the problem.

[D]

Because what's wild is if you got two extra thousand dollars a month just to put at this, you'll be done in two years. Do you know what I mean? Which is long, but also not really.

[B]

Not only 2000 extra, you already make 7700 plus side gigs, plus the side gig. So, I mean, you get some extra, he gets some extra, you guys. But you're spending. You guys got to quit spending money like you're in Congress, too. How much. How much is your mortgage payment?

[E]

It's 2,400.

[B]

Okay, that's not killing you. So you guys, listen, do whatever you want to do. But that's what I would do.

[D]

Yeah. And I would look at the van and the truck, and we've got more calls than. Not that actually. Their vehicles, they actually have. They're. They're upside down or they're not upside down on it. And so if you guys can. Can do anything to even move those. Because to me, I'm like, that's $26,000 of this.

[B]

So, dude, you're not dying from working extra to take care of your family and clean up the mess you made for one or two years. It's not going to kill you.

[F]

Hey, George Camel here. Let me pull back the curtain on something you may not know. If you're in debt and collectors are threatening lawsuits, the worst thing you can do is do is ignore it. That's exactly what they're counting on. Because when you do nothing, they can take you to court. And if you don't respond, they can win by default and even get access to your bank account. And that's why I tell people about Guardian Litigation Group. Guardian Litigation is not another debt relief company with some bait and switch tactic and empty promises. They're an actual law firm with real attorneys. And from day one, you get an attorney who represents you. They step in when collectors are trying to push you around, and they handle it. So instead of panicking, you've got a plan for peace of mind. So if you're backed into a corner and facing imminent legal action, don't stick your head in the sand. Ignoring it will make it worse. And Guardian Litigation is who you contact when it gets worse. So go to guardianlit.com Ramsey that's guardianlit.com

[B]

Ramsey Attorney Advertising Results may vary and no specific outcome is guaranteed. There's a thing in psychology Called cognitive dissonance, which means that you are stressed and there's a frustration level building up because things are inconsistent in your emotions and in your brain. Frustration, anger, all these types of high energy emotions start to appear.

[D]

Fear, fear, fear, stress.

[B]

And when you have that around money and you see a quick way out, like selling your house to pay off all your debt, it tells you, I can make all of this psychological pain, cognitive dissonance go away if I just sold the house. So we're always looking for human nature is to look for the quickest way away from the pain. It is not always the best methodology for your long term health. The quickest way away from the pain after surgery is not doing physical therapy because physical therapy is painful. But if you don't do physical therapy after a knee or an elbow or a shoulder, it won't work, it'll freeze up, you have a problem. So you have to lean into the pain to get the best long term result. And that's usually, usually true with money. So what's painful in the. You pick the short term pain and the long term gain. In any money equation, it's almost always the right one versus the short term gain and the long term pain. There's always a trade off. So if you sell your most expensive asset, your home, it's very mathematically expensive to move move. It's emotionally expensive to move, it's relationally expensive to move. It's the biggest disruption you can cause to happen automatically in your life short of some kind of a tragedy. And so it's the last thing we tell you to do. Now if you've got a house payment that's 60% of your take home pay, we're gonna tell you to sell it regardless of the pain because it's not sustainable. But just looking for a quick way out of your debt debt and cashing in your retirement and having a huge penalty and tax bill is a short term release for a long term stupid move.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

Selling your home often is a short term release becomes long term stupid because now you don't own a piece of real estate anymore. Real estate starts going up and you've boxed yourself out of the market cause you're renting in your old hometown in that guy's case. So, so when we say suck it up buttercup, play through, it's for your good. Because 10 years from today, it's going to be the best decision to not go through a home move. Now again, if you have to, it's different.

[D]

Or if you want to. Right. If they Were talking about it.

[B]

I don't like the house.

[D]

Yes, yes.

[B]

I hate this area. I don't want to live in this state anymore. That's okay. That's a good point. But don't do it as the quick fix, as the. Basically the sole motivation, because I'm tired and I don't want to work extra. No work extra. Be tired. It's worth it. Ten years from today, you'll be glad you did. The ten year from now version of you will like the current version of you better if you will pay a price to win.

[D]

Yeah. And I think what he said or what she said, he said, said, you know, to a degree is very relatable, that he's working his butt off and it's just going to payments like you. You know, it's different. If you work hard and you make all this extra money, you get to do fun stuff with it. But when you're in that season of sacrifice, allowing that to be a driver too, of like, I am pissed. That's why even like selling the cars, it's like, okay, when you do the math, you know, okay, what if I got a $5,000 car and 5,000. How much extra was I having to work for that $5,000 that was sitting in a TR in truck equity. That could be to this, right? Like, you got to be thinking about it and that starts to like, really mess with you. And you actually see the hours I'm working. What? You know, if I could sell an asset to save on a day of working, I'll do that all day. Like, we'll just keep moving stuff.

[B]

Could she drive a $4,000 minivan instead of a $16,000 minivan? And because she's got more kids than, gee, man, there's kids everywhere. And you know that kind of thing. So what we want for you is to hurt in the short term, not the long term, so that you win in the long term. If you're gonna choose pain, choose pain today. That gives you the long term results. The Bible says no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but it yields a harvest of righteousness. And so the way I'm gonna say that is wah or suck it up, buttercup. Or it's the same thing.

[D]

Well, and honestly, live like no one

[B]

else, so later you can live and give like no one else.

[D]

Yeah, the short term, right? If they sold house, and that's the gain of short term. But long term, you think about it, the dynamic of even moving to his hometown that she wasn't crazy about could be long term. Pain in a bitter, you know what I mean, Bitterness in her of like, oh my gosh, we got stuck in the small town that I didn't want to be at the first place. We made that move four years ago, right? You're doing it all out of desperation, not out of clear headedness and desire for both. And that's, that's a red flag for me.

[B]

What feels good in the moment is seldom the right financial decision.

[E]

Decision.

[B]

It feels good to impulse a brand new car and put nothing down and lease it and drive it off the lot. Long term, it's one of the dumbest things you can do. It feels good in the moment to buy something you can't afford to eat, something you don't need to eat. It feels good in the moment, but the long term consequences to your health and your financial wealth are real. And so that's the trade off we human beings make. The ability to delay pleasure for a greater good is the primary sign psychologists tell us, of emotional and spiritual maturity. Can I look at a great future and pay a painful price to get to the great future? That's maturity. Learning to delay pleasure. I was looking at a, watching a piece of research the other day on one of the podcasts that I follow. I can't even think which one it was. One of the psychologists that's out there and they were talking about this study they did of seven year old kids and they put them in a room and they put three marshmallows in the middle of the plate and they said do not eat the marshmallow. And they walked out of the room with two sided mirrors and cameras and everything and watched them sit there. 100% of the 8 year olds ate the marshmallows. However, some of them went, you know, 10 seconds, some of them went 10 minutes before they ate it. The ones that went 10 minutes, they studied them 15 and 20 years later and they were inordinately more successful because they delayed. They had the, even at seven or eight years old, they had the personality, they had the discipline to avoid something that is harmful.

[D]

Is that nature or nurture? Do they learn that in a household or you think that's part of your personality?

[B]

I have no idea. I do know this. Regardless of how you got there, once you're there, it's a choice. Whether DNA got you there or your mom and daddy got you there, once you're sitting in front of the marshmallow, it's still your choice.

[D]

You still have the ability. It's so true.

[B]

You still have a choice. I mean, you know, so it's, you know, we do know now, for instance, that some people have a genetic predisposition to being alcoholics more than others, right? But once you know that, then you still got to take a drink or not take a drink. You got to decide, am I going to do this or not? And so who falls off the wagon? Who doesn't fall off the wagon? All these things are, this is all tied to this emotional maturity thing of delaying pleasure for a greater good. And it really is maturity. Sometimes we see it in a young person. We have a 19 year old call in here with the numbers are just astronomically amazingly positive, right? We're like, how did you do that at 19? And we're all aghast at how wonderful this 19 year old is. And we get that call on this show fairly often because we get those kinds of 19 year olds around here. But the reason we're all kind of so impressed is that he or she matured to that degree at that young age. And it's not a chronological maturity, it's an emotional and a spiritual maturity. And so I think the way that I got propelled forward in that category was when I was the opposite and was impulsive as crap. Did everything get rich quick, get rich quick, get rich quick. I went broke as a result, lost everything, including my dignity. And I'm humiliated. Not just hungry, humble and sitting there with, driving a hundred dollar car. You were born that year and, and I've got a ba. Babies I can't feed. And so I, I didn't have a choice. I snapped and went to the other side of the equation. And so I don't want that for you guys as your method of learning. I'd rather just teach you.

[A]

This show is sponsored by Better Help May is Mental Health Awareness Month. And according to the National Institute of Mental Health, more than one in five US adults experience mental illness every year. Nearly half of those folks never get any kind of help. And these aren't just statistics. These are real people who are hurting and struggling. They may be you and we're living in this non stop noise. Let's screen comparison, constant notifications. It's our whole world and our bodies are always on high alert. We're communicating more than ever and people are communicating with us. But we're super disconnected. We're more anxious, we're more lonely, we're overwhelmed and we just don't know where to go. And that stress shows up in our relationships, in our sleep, in our health, in the middle of our chest. We were never meant to carry all of this stuff in our life alone and talking to someone can help. And that's where BetterHelp comes in. BetterHelp is an online therapy platform that matches you with a licensed therapist based on your goals and preferences. Their therapists are fully licensed in the United States and they follow a strict code of conduct. You can message your therapist and schedule sessions right in the platform. If it's not the right fit, you can switch anytime at no additional cost. Cut through all the noise. Don't do this alone. Go to betterhelp.comramsey to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp h lp.comramsey.

[B]

Our question of the day is sponsored by Y Refi. When you fall behind on paying back your private student loans, it can feel like your life is being held hostage. But why? Refi helps borrowers explore with a fresh start with low fixed rate refinancing and a payment plan designed around their ability to pay. Visit yrefi.com Ramsey that's yrefy.com Ramsey might not be in all states.

[D]

All right, today's question comes from Matthew in Oklahoma. Dave, it's addressed to you. Ready?

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Dave, back in the early days of establishing the seven baby steps, did you ever have to use your emergency fund? If so, what type of emergency happened that you felt warranted using the savings account for?

[E]

Huh?

[B]

Well, when I was climbing out of this, there weren't any baby steps because I hadn't started teaching Financial Peace University yet. So there was no starter emergency fund of $1,000 and later a fully funded emergency fund of three to six months of expenses. I just had the goal of the three to six months of expenses. So I did use that emergency fund, the big one. The only time that is specific. I think it's the only time, but if not, it's almost the only time was that. Did I. I'm trying. Suddenly thinking I might have cash flowed it. I might have cash flowed it. But I think out of the budget.

[D]

But I think almost 40 years ago,

[B]

I think I used the emergency fund. No, it's not that long. It's 30 plus years ago.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

So we had just bought the house on Victory Trail.

[D]

Oh, okay.

[B]

And

[D]

I was eight.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, you were eight years old.

[D]

So 30 years ago.

[B]

So 30 years ago. So. So that heat and air went out and it was $7,000 at that time, which today would be $17,000. Right. But yeah, the heat and air went out and I called a guy and he fixed the heat and air and I wrote a check and it was the reason I remember it. It was the first time we had a drama, a catastrophe happen, that we had the money, and it was just like an incon. That's when I came up with a phrase that when you have an emergency fund and you have an emergency, it's an inconvenience rather than. Than a crisis. You've heard us say that a hundred times, but that was every time before that that the heat and air blinked. It was a crisis because I didn't have the stinking money. And the only reason I'm thinking I might have cash flowed it is I paid cash for the house, so. And from a book deal that we had done on financial peace and. But it's possible that I was low enough on cash that I used the emergency fund for that. But I have a distinct memory around it, so I must have other times. I know I cash flowed. Everything else after that, whatever broke or blew up or whatever, because we've always kept a larger amount of cash than most people because it gives my wife, after what we've been through with bankruptcy and everything, it gives her an extra level of security. We always laughed and said our emergency fund had an emergency fund. And that's been largely true. Extra extra in the last 35 years. But in more recent years, I don't think anything about it. It's all cash flow. I wouldn't. It'd be very unusual for me to have an emergency today that actually tapped into a store of cash certificates. That would be very strange. We did not have to do that during COVID even in our business, because the business never became unprofitable. So we never had to touch the. Even though we lost huge sums of revenue, we never went into the red. And so we never had to touch our retained earnings. So it didn't happen then. And that would have been another time that it could have happened. But. Yeah, that's an interesting question. It makes me go back and think I remember more clearly all the times I didn't have emergency funds and there was drama and gnashing of teeth and crisis and everything else. Wyatt is in Pennsylvania. Hey, Wyatt. How are you? How are you?

[C]

I'm good. How are y' all doing?

[B]

Better than I deserve. What's up?

[C]

Well, I had a question here. I'm not exactly at a. I guess, financial trouble. Crossroads. More at a. What do I do now? Crossroads. I have a $65,000 in total debt over my head, and I'm trying to figure out if it might be a good Idea to sell my truck for around 41,000 and take like 20, 25,000 in the hole to get myself out of debt faster.

[B]

So you owe 65 on the truck?

[C]

I owe 61, 62 roughly. And then I owe about 4,000 on credit cards.

[B]

And what's your household income?

[C]

My income is 78,000 a year.

[B]

And are you married?

[C]

No.

[B]

Okay. Yes. I would sell the truck even if it was paid for.

[E]

All right.

[B]

Because here's a good rule of thumb. Things that have motors and wheels go down in value. You cannot build wealth while you own too many things that have motors and wheels. Too many things is defined in our world as more than half of your annual income. Your truck is more than half your annual income in value. And so it's eating your lunch every day. It goes down in value and you're trying to pedal uphill and it's killing you. So are you sure it's only worth 41 or 45?

[C]

I. I got bored one night while I was at work and I checked the Kelley Blue Book value, which in my experience is a little bit heavy handed with its estimates, but it estimated at around 41,000 because.

[B]

Private sale or trade in?

[C]

I believe I put down trade in. I don't remember exactly.

[B]

I go back, go back and do a research because it. What kind of truck is it?

[C]

It's a 20, 25, 2500 HD. It did have an accident, like about a year after I bought it. Well, less than a year after I bought it. And it has like some minor paint damage, but other than that, it's mechanically sound.

[B]

Yeah, well, this is old. It's a hardcore work truck truck. And so there's probably a pretty good market for it.

[C]

Right?

[B]

You know, versus if you just had some kind of weird truck or something, it might be harder to sell. So this, you might be able to sell it and get out of it.

[D]

Did you roll negative equity into it?

[C]

No, I don't believe so. I. They quoted 76,000. I put $10,000 down as the down payment.

[B]

Yeah. So you bought a truck at the time, you bought a truck at the time that you paid for, for it, what your annual income was about. And so.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. And so ever since that day, this truck's been hammering you. And so that's what brings you to this question. So, yeah, I rest my case. You know, I think I would sell it if I woke up in your shoes. And I like a nice truck. I've got trucks. I love trucks.

[D]

Yes. You just have to take a small loan from a Credit union or something for the difference and enough to.

[B]

And get you a 5,000. Get you a $5,000 truck and then become a richer guy. Because most of the guys that drive trucks like this aren't the rich guys. Most. The guys that drive trucks that are 5 or 10,000 are the rich guys, especially on a construction site. Yeah. All right. Bridget is in Chicago. Hi, Bridget. What's up?

[E]

Hello there. Thank you so much for taking my call.

[B]

Sure. How can we help?

[E]

What I was calling for was that. So I'm. I was a teacher, now I'm an administrator, and I'm fully funding my pension. And my contribution is 9% mandatory. And so my question.

[B]

My question is that that is a mandatory contribution.

[E]

It is, yes.

[B]

Okay. All right.

[E]

And so my question is, should that 9% be included as a part of the 15% that should be towards retirement?

[B]

Excellent question. Okay. There's two problems with your pension. One is you don't have any control over what it's invested in.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

Two, so the outcome of what you end up with at the end is totally up to someone else. Okay. The second problem is because pensions are heavily regulated, what they invest in is more conservative. And so your average rate of return that you're going to see is about 7%. So because of those two things, I would take your 9%. I would count about half of it. So if we want to just use round numbers, let's count 5% of it towards your 15. I'd still put in another 10 in money that you control, but that's giving it some credit. But we're not giving it 100% credit, so to speak. It'll still be there. I'm not predicting the end of it, but I think you'll do a lot better with a 10% contribution than you do with this 9% contribution. Listen, identity theft doesn't just happen just because you're careless. You can do everything right and still become a victim. Whether your information is skimmed online, stolen through a scam, or exposed in a data breach, which happens every day, then it becomes your problem. Your time, your money, your paperwork galore. That's why I've told people for years to have identity theft protection. And the only plan I've ever recommended is from Zander Insurance. Zander monitors for signs of fraud, even home title fraud, and they send alerts when something looks off. Most important, if something happens, happens, you're not stuck spending hours on hold, filing forms and arguing with companies trying to fix it. Zander's dedicated restoration team steps in and does the hard work to help restore your identity. You can even protect your kids for free on their family plan. Go to Zander.com or call 800-356-4282 to protect yourself today. Identity theft is everywhere. Zander is how you fight back. Xander, not. Matthew is in Boston. Hi, Matthew. How are you?

[E]

Hi, David.

[C]

How are you?

[B]

Better than I deserve. How can we help?

[C]

So I'm calling because I'm kind of in a spot where we're not really sure what to do anymore. My wife and I, she lost her job almost two years now, and we're kind of. We've been just kind of racking in credit cards every month to kind of pay for bills and pay for everything going on.

[B]

Why hasn't she gotten a job in two years?

[C]

So she got laid off during her maternity leave. She did get, like, a long severance for that. And just now she's about to have a second baby. So she's been in there during this time. And then she. Well, she has been working kind of like an administrative role with her. With her cousin, not getting nearly as much about, like, you know, she went from probably 5k a month to about $2,000 a month now. And what do you make with my. I make about 4,500amonth.

[B]

And what do you do?

[C]

Accounting.

[B]

Okay. And so if she got laid off during maternity, she had the baby, and you guys knew you weren't making it. Why did you keep doing exactly the same thing for two years?

[C]

Well, I think we. I think we have just kind of our principles of, you know, we didn't want to pay for daycare, especially since it's so expensive up here and, you know, having. Being at home. I work from home. And then she is also at home, so she's kind of just watching. Watching our daughter. And then also.

[B]

You're still not answering my question. That doesn't. None of that changes the fact that you were going in the hole every month and you kept doing that for two years. Why. Why didn't you change something?

[C]

Yeah, I mean, I think that's a very good question. I've. You know, I think we were just kind of a little naive, and now we're at the point where, I mean, we.

[E]

We.

[C]

We're going to it regardless because we're trying to get out of Massachusetts, but we're.

[B]

So you have the second child on the way.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. All right. And you make 4,500. And what is your. How much debt do you guys have? Not counting your home, so.

[C]

Not counting the home it's about 30k, and that's pretty well. Should I include student loans as well? Yeah, so with student loans, probably about 50, 10.

[B]

Okay, so about 20 in student loans. What's the 20 in student loans? So what's the 30?

[C]

It's pretty much all credit cards now.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

No car debt cards. We do have. Oh, sorry. Actually, yes, we do have a car as well. There's about 20,000 on the car left to pay.

[B]

And what is it? What kind of.

[C]

What the car is.

[B]

Yeah, what kind of car?

[C]

Just. Just a Tesla model Y.

[B]

Okay. All right. That car will bring more than 20,000, won't it?

[C]

Possibly. It's. It'll probably just pay off the loan.

[B]

Good.

[C]

More likely.

[B]

Good. Sell it this week. You can't afford the payment.

[C]

It is our only car, though. That's the other thing.

[B]

I don't care. Sell it this week and get you a $5,000 car. You can't afford to drive a Tesla. You're broke and going in debt every month. These are the kinds of ways you need to start talking to yourself. I can't afford to do this. We can't afford to go out to eat, which you've been continuing to do. You're broke. You can't afford to go on vacation. We can't afford to buy three airline tickets and take the babies to see her mother were broke. But you haven't been telling yourself that. So you got $30,000 in credit card debt, paying Tesla payments. That's what I'm talking about.

[D]

Does that feel accurate, Matthew, do you get that?

[C]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I've been making cuts where I can. We've definitely made the cuts, but just

[D]

clearly, how much in the whole per month are you guys that you're having to use credit cards for?

[C]

So, pretty much, we're probably putting. I started this dumb thing when we did have both of us working, where I said, let's rack up points, so let's put everything on the credit cards and pay everything at the end of the month, which we were doing fine with until she lost her job. And then. And we're like, well, let's just keep putting it on the credit card so that we can manage. Continue to.

[B]

One more time. If we were to do a really tight budget, which you have not done, and now you've got to do starting today, how much do you really have to have to stay afloat beyond the $6500? 4500 from you, 2000 from her?

[C]

So is that just to survive and

[B]

pay credit cards or not just to survive and pay. Credit cards. Credit cards. No eating out, no new shoes, no new purses, no new hobbies, nothing. What does it take to feed your freaking family? Only

[C]

I put everything down. It's probably going to be just like on my own simple budget. I have about. Negative $300 left to. Left to put everything at the end of the.

[D]

And that. And that's not how y' all are living right now, right? Y' all are a little bit more.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Widespread. So 300.

[B]

When I get rid of the Tesla payment.

[D]

How much is that per month?

[B]

Now your balance.

[D]

How much is the Tesla payment a month?

[C]

Right now it's at. It's 700 per month.

[D]

Perfect. Good.

[B]

Now we got $400 in margin.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

You're driving a $5,000 car, not a $20,000 car. Do you have any money anywhere saved?

[C]

We do. I do have, you know, just some. Some money in like, Robinhood and simple investments and stuff like that. About like 5k in there.

[B]

Perfect. Go buy a car with that and sell the Tesla. And now you're $400 upside. $400. Right side.

[D]

And cut up the credit cards. Say it together. Do you have one with you right now, Matthew?

[B]

A card?

[C]

A credit card.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Take it out right now.

[D]

Just cut one. Just do it.

[B]

I want to hear it in the phone.

[D]

Will he do it? He's gonna be like, oh, I left it in my other wallet. Do it, Matthew. You got it. This is the start of change, Matthew. This is the start of change. You gotta do some extreme stuff. You guys have to stop. You gotta stop the whole thing.

[B]

By the way, we're completely aligned with your wife being at home with the baby. Babies. That's great, but we're gonna put your butt to work.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, I've been trying to do. To make more money. I started just like a woodworking side business.

[B]

Well, I think you make more money doing bookkeeping on the side.

[D]

You got one.

[B]

You got a card?

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Let's share it.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

You.

[B]

You did it. What kind of card was it?

[C]

Yeah, just discover a card.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

You just discovered freedom, Matthew.

[D]

Matthew, we're so proud of you. Way to do it. Seriously, you gotta be start making some actually actions, some action steps. And that's one that's a proclamation of, like, we're done.

[B]

Next. Cut the cord on the Tesla.

[D]

It's hard to go into credit card debt when there are no credit cards. You know what I mean? Like, when you don't have an option.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Literally when you physically don't have an option. You have to start getting creative and

[B]

you're like what do we have to say? Whittling away at these cards. Cut them all up. Whittling away at them, they'll start to go away. You don't have the $700 ridiculous car payment. You've got to make adjustments to be able to live the life that you are choosing to live with your wife being with the babies. And again we're aligned to help you do that. But we're not going to act like it didn't cost so much something. It does cost something. She has a three thousand dollar less income now than she had.

[D]

And so, and let me go back to what you said Matthew. You said now she's working for my sister in law or a family member making less, you know, because it sounds like a favor kind of thing if she can find a side hustle with the hours she's doing and get paid twice as much because it's not some weird connection of family. And you're like being nice all day,

[B]

all day, all day. So like the family be nice somewhere else.

[D]

Yes, yes. You guys are in a, in a mode. You guys, you have to man get on this. But yeah, it's the 50 grand. Those student loans and credit cards, you start chipping away and in two years, Matthew, you guys could be out if you got, if you guys can get an extra two grand a month by working extra selling stuff. It's amazing the progress you can make.

[B]

So, so we got you to cut one card. If we really get you to sell the Tesla, you can really do this. Welcome back to the Ramsey show in the Fair WINS Credit Union Studio. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thank you for joining us America. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality is my co host today and my daughter Julie is with us in Boca Raton. Hi Julie, how are you?

[E]

Hi Dave. I'm good. How are you?

[B]

Better than I deserve. What's up?

[E]

Kind of a pickle situation. I'm wondering if I should sell my house to pay off a total debt of 575,000 and $162,000.

[B]

575 on what?

[E]

575. 162.

[B]

I know. 575 is the debt on what?

[E]

So part of that includes a HELOC of 51,000, credit card debt of 74,175, student loans of 53,000, a custody battle that I'm currently going through of 7,176, new roof I had to pay because my insurance claim was denied. Of 27,700 and an IRS debt for my business of around 18,000.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

It's been a tough five years, hadn't it?

[E]

Oh, yeah. It just felt just horrible.

[B]

Yeah. So the 162 in addition to the 575 is what?

[E]

Well, I mean, all of it is just. It's credit cards, it's.

[B]

No. So you broke the two numbers apart? Did you not give me two different numbers? Right.

[E]

No, I gave you. The total is 575,162.

[B]

So we can round it to 575,000, not $162,575,162. I gotcha. Okay, I misunderstood. Okay. Okay, so. And how much is your first mortgage on the home?

[E]

So my first mortgage, I have 338,000 left.

[B]

Is that in the 575?

[E]

Yes.

[B]

Okay, so you've got about $225,000 in non mortgage debt. Unless we count the HELOC.

[E]

Right, unless you count the HELOC. And the roof. I did a PACE program and they included the roof in my escrow.

[B]

And so. And what is your income today?

[E]

I own a business. I'm a physical therapist and I have a group practice. And it's a little foggy to understand the numbers. I have a business coach who's helping me right now, but basically I grossed around 385,000. But my take home, my personal salary was about $65,000.

[B]

Okay, and that's what you paid taxes on, was 65.

[E]

The taxes actually are backdated.

[B]

No, no, no, no. When you file your income tax, what will be your income showing on your income tax return?

[E]

Oh, the 65,000.

[B]

Okay, so that's really what you're making?

[E]

Okay, yeah, my personal. But I mean, I. And I'm trying to fix this with my business coach because there's a lot of expenses I'm trying to get rid of, like my lease.

[B]

Yeah, I agree.

[E]

And payrolls high. And then.

[B]

Yep. And then everybody's making money but you in this business.

[E]

I got you, basically.

[B]

I think, I think that's what you're coaching.

[E]

Yeah, basically I'm the one working to pay the bills. If I stop seeing clients, then how

[D]

much could you sell the house for, Julie?

[E]

So my realtor wants me to. We've listed the house at 575. It's been in the market for a month. At first I thought I had an assumable mortgage, but I found out with the bank that it's only assumable to family members. So the highest offer I've received was for 545,000, which is what my neighbors sold his house for. Yeah, I don't know if it matters, but my interest rate, I bought it in 2021. I had amazing credit. I have an interest rate of 3.375.

[B]

Okay. So when you give me the list of things that equal the 575, what I hear are a lot of. That's why I say it's been a tough five years. The numbers all are associated with painful things. Child support or child custody, IRS debt, a roof, a roof that went bad.

[D]

74,000 in credit card debts, overspending.

[B]

That's out of control. There's a lot of stuff in here that represent that I think is mostly in your rear view mirror and is not representative of your future. Am I wrong?

[E]

No, that's correct. And one problem, I. Sorry. Just that it's been very hard.

[B]

Yeah, it has. I can tell.

[E]

One thing I realized was that I, you know, in therapies that I've been trying to save everybody but myself.

[B]

Yep.

[E]

You know, I bought a three bedroom house on my own. You know, my. My husband didn't help me. It was just me. That's a whole other subject.

[B]

How old are you?

[E]

I'm 41.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Are you still married, Julie? Or you guys are. You're divorced and that's what the custody was for the child? Or is this.

[E]

We were never, we were never married. This is just a custody battle which.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

My lawyers are telling me that because I declare more money, they're thinking that he does some kind of tax evasion. They're thinking that I may have. I may end up having to pay him child support.

[D]

Now this isn't your husband that you just mentioned though, right? This is a different guy?

[E]

No, no, this is my daughter's father.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

We weren't ever married. He's just.

[D]

Okay, same guy.

[B]

When you bought the house, that's what you were referring.

[D]

That's what you were meaning him when you said.

[E]

That's what I meant. Yeah, I bought the house. Just myself, my efforts, you know, he. He contributed when he lived with me, but it's just all me. Okay, I was going to mention that, you know, I bought the house. I realized now it, you know, I bought a three bedroom. I wanted to help my parents. They moved in with me. In my culture, you know, we're Brazilian. You know, you help your parents and you take care of them, but I just can't do it anymore. And I had a conversation with them I mean, it's not their fault, but I just. They're looking for a place now. They're considering returning to Brazil. And I'm just trying to figure out what to do for myself and my daughter.

[B]

I think you sell the house for 545,000. Doll thousand. Take the offer, okay, and give yourself a fresh start with all of the mistakes then in your rearview mirror. Now, the trick from the mistakes that I always want to do, I've done a lot of stupid stuff in my life. I often say I have a PhD in dumb. And so I want to make sure I never repeat that mistake that caused that, okay? So I don't want to repeat the mistake that causes me to be $18,000 in the hole of the IRS. So I got to get my business coach and my business running. I don't want to repeat the mistake that trying to save everybody. I don't want to repeat the mistake of this or that or this or that and just go down the list of these items that you're paying off and you're not even going to be able to pay them all off. You're still going to have $30,000 in debt, right?

[E]

That's it. That's it.

[B]

Yeah. But you can clear.

[E]

People have even said that, you know, they've suggested that I do chapter 13.

[B]

You're not bankrupt.

[E]

One of my bedrooms.

[B]

You're not bankrupt. You won't attract out you. They won't let you in a chapter 13. They'll throw you out because you have this huge asset. So now you need to sell the house. You need to put all this mess in your rear view mirror and start fresh, cleaning up $30,000 worth of debt. Start making more than 65 out of this business so that because you cut your expenses there, Never get behind on the IRS again. Never get in a situation where you're living with somebody you're not married to again. It sets up these kinds of problems and on and on and on and on. Just make the list down through here. What did I do? I was trying to save everybody. You know, I think you got a good head on your shoulders. I think you can do it, but you need to put the pain in the past.

[C]

Foreign.

[E]

Hey, what's up, guys? It's Jade Warshaw. Listen, summer spending adds up so fast. Between vacations and road trips and camp fees and events and all the extra gas and grocery runs, money can get tight before you know it. To really get your money under control and keep it that way, you're going to need a plan and that's what you'll get with the Every Dollar Bill budget app. It helps you track your spending, free up cash to put toward debt and savings. And it's the simplest way to make a plan for your money before the month begins. So no more wondering where your money's going. You're telling it where to go. Download everydollar in the App Store or Google Play and start for free today.

[B]

One of our favorite things is when people share their stories about how they're winning. I just got this from. Awesome review from our Every Dollar budgeting app. Quote Every Dollar is excellent. It helped me get my personal finances in order. Well, there you go. Now that I'm married, my wife and I use it together out of our joint checking account. It really helps us maintain a common vision and set of goals. Man, that's perfect. That's exactly what we want to hear. Hey, you can work the Ramsey plan. The Ramsey way. What you hear here on the air, we will coach you right along the way. Only on Every dollar. And you can start Every Dollar for free in the App Store or at Google Play. Today. Doug is in Fort Worth. Hi Doug, how are you?

[C]

I'm doing great and I'm so excited to hear you, Dave, but how are you?

[B]

Better than I deserve, sir. What's up?

[C]

I'm calling today. My wife owns a small business. Well, actually we both own the small business business but she runs it. And my question is she stopped paying herself because she's trying to get out of the negative and every time we discuss it it ends up in an argument. But we got some supplemental, I work full time and we got some supplemental payment through part time stuff at the beginning of the year. And she didn't tell me she was going to stop paying herself. And I found out in January and we got in a big fight about it. And then she'll pay herself a little bit here and there, but still not up to her salary she was doing last last year. And every time we talk about it it just ends up in an argument. And I just wanted to get your advice on how I should approach it or if I should just trust her that you know, whatever is happening in the businesses is gonna work out or I'm just stuck at what I should do.

[B]

What kind of business?

[C]

It's a spa.

[B]

How long ago did she start it?

[C]

She's had it about three years now.

[B]

How much money have you all invested in it?

[C]

She, she bought it from her, the previous owner. And it was like a owner she took. They did a loan between each other. So she kind of still pays her salary until the loans paid off.

[B]

Pays whose salary? The former owner.

[C]

The former owner.

[B]

Okay, so she has debt to the former owner, and that's the only debt she. She has?

[C]

As far as I know, yes.

[B]

And do you know how much that debt is?

[C]

It was. It was only maybe a couple hundred thousand.

[B]

Yeah. Okay, so the. The first mistake you all have made that has caused a lot of this angst between the two of you is you don't handle your money together. She's got her world, and you've got your world world. And so when you start speaking into her world, you don't have a foothold to do that because you're just a roommate, and the roommate doesn't like it when you tell her what to do. Instead, you guys need to have in depth combined finances, full transparency, so you know exactly what she's making because you're having to put it in the monthly budget together every month that you're having house. And you would never enter into a business transaction that's a couple of hundred thousand dollars without your spouse knowing every stinking detail and being in agreement, aligned to it. And you don't even know what's going on down there. Oh, I think it's a couple of hundred thousand. That's a fairly good rounding error.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, so that tells me how disengaged you are until you decide you want to get engaged. When she doesn't pay her herself, but you don't know what's going on down there, so.

[D]

Yeah. How much?

[B]

That's why she's. That's why she's insulted.

[D]

How much are. How much you guys bring in in household income if she doesn't pay herself and you guys are living off yours, your salary. What are you making?

[C]

I make about 55. We start at the beginning of the year. We're helping a church do music, and they've been paying us 500 a week, so I think she's looking at that as supplemental to where she does. She doesn't really need to pay herself because it's not like we're struggling. We were in baby step three. We were building our emergency fund because we got out of debt, but now that's stopped.

[B]

So you want $200,000 in debt. Yeah, so.

[C]

But we were. I mean, we did our personal finances together, but, you know, like, you're.

[B]

No, you don't. You don't.

[C]

Involved in.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no, no, you don't. That's not true, Doug, because she quit Paying herself a salary which would have gone into your personal finances, and you discovered it later. You are not doing your personal finances together.

[C]

No, she paid herself all last year. She stopped in January, and that's when I found out that because she didn't pay herself. And I asked her why she hadn't paid herself, and that's when she just told me that she was

[B]

losing money on me. Losing money. Yeah. Yeah. So her business is failing, and anytime you question her about it, it shames her.

[D]

Put salt in the wound.

[B]

And it puts salt in the wound. And so, honey, the business is not doing well. I want to help, but just know, where's your paycheck? That's not a help. And so, yeah, you guys need to get together and look at the business together in a supportive way. How can I help? What's going on? What's happening here? We're on the same team, and we're on the same team, and we're making decisions together here. Not. You haven't put your part in. And that's still the language you're using tells us all of this. So. I don't know. I mean, you speak into Winston's business, right?

[D]

Sure. I mean, yeah, some of it. I'm like. I mean, there's a. There's a level at which we see money come in and out. And we're talking about him. We were just talking about a deal, actually. He's going to go do a showing today. And I'm like, oh, great. This, this, and this. Now, I'm probably not the most detailed person in the world. Just like, how probably, you know, it's all, to a degree free but high level. When we look at our numbers every single month.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I mean, we know what's going on.

[B]

Yeah. If something was going on that he was losing money on.

[D]

Oh, gosh. Oh, yeah. Well, he would. He tells me, like, if there's a deal that. Yeah. That they.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

They bought something. And it was like, oh, we're selling it for less than what? And it's a loss. And that sucks. It's like, okay, yeah. But it's being talked about.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

100.

[B]

That's, you know, that that's the process.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

And so.

[D]

Yeah. And I think it's an attitude at which. Which I don't. Which, Doug, I understand why you would be frustrated. I get that. But also the way you approach it and the way you guys have this conversation, it's either that the business is between you all and you're, you know, and it almost splits you apart. Emotionally or together, you lock arms and say, hey, we're taking on this world and this business and everything together. And the problem's out there. That's the problem. It's not us. It's out there. And so pointing it at the right direction and at the right thing, I think, is what's important because it's. It's almost like a third party where it actually starts to become her identity instead.

[B]

Now, she's not. He's not been involved until he questions her about it.

[D]

Right, right.

[B]

And so she's insulted.

[D]

She figured out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And so that's very interesting.

[D]

And she'll get defensive, which makes sense why she would be defensive, because she's not in the numbers. You're not in the numbers throughout the month, and you guys aren't talking about it.

[B]

Yeah. But let's sit down and look at how this business is operating. What are the parts of it? What are the details, and what can we do to get together to get this going? Hey, I'll come down there and help. I mean, what do you need? I'll cut the janitorial out. I'll come clean the toilets. But what have we got to do? But we got to work this through, and otherwise that couple of hundred thousand that you owe somebody's going to come down around your head at some point. And so we need to get this thing back profitable again where it's making money, and instead of losing money. And right now it's losing money. So. And, yeah, I'm suggesting you become supportive and ask how I can help. And I made a mistake by not being more involved and being more helpful. I am sorry for that. And I'm going to start today, though, being very involved and very helpful. And so how should I do that? And what's the place to start? Because we need to get this thing moving because it's scaring me. And I know it's probably scaring.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And there's probably a story you've made up in your head, Doug. A story she's made up in her head of what he thinks about her and her business acumen. You know what I mean? That may not all be true.

[B]

Exactly.

[D]

So it's saying those things out loud, I think, is really, really important. And you guys start getting on that trajectory where. Yeah. Where you're seen as helpful and not being an accuser of what she is or isn't doing.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

Sam. Foreign.

[F]

Hey, George. Camel here. So you're thinking about buying or selling your home. It's exciting. But there's a lot to think about and all those decisions can feel overwhelming. Well, here's the good news. You don't have to tackle the process alone. Ramsey's Real Estate Home Base is the place to find all of your free tools and resources for help to get prepared to buy or sell your home with confidence. You'll find calculators, start to finish guides, a podcast, and even an in depth video course hosted by yours truly. What's not to love? So if you're ready to take the next steps toward your home goals, go to ramseysolutions.com realestate that's ramseysolutions.com realestate.

[B]

The right insurance acts as a shield around your loved ones and your wallet when bad things happen. Our free insurance coverage checkup helps you figure out if you have the right coverage by giving you a personalized action plan with clear next steps. Go to ramseysolutions.com checkup to take the coverage checkup and find out if you have the protection you need. It's free. Free. Brad is in Des Moines, Iowa. Hi Brad, welcome to the Ramsey Show.

[C]

Hey Dave, quick question. How much stakes should a 32 year old guy put in his pension fund being still around and still viable when he retires at 65?

[B]

I would actually study the history and the articles that are written about the particular pension fund. But overall as a category, I think pension funds are safe.

[C]

Does that take any responsibility away from me doing additional no. Is that retirement savings?

[B]

No, it does not. Pension funds will underperform standard investments because of the regulation. They typically are going to yield about a 7% rate of return. And so if you put the same amount into a good growth stock, mutual fund or funds in a Roth ira, you you would make well more than twice as much, meaning you'd make 11 or 12%, 10% or 11%, 12% somewhere in there as an average rate of return. But that's a lot more than double the result of dollars then. And so very, very important that you do your own investing and not rely exclusively on a pension fund regardless of if the pension fund's going to be there or not. I thought you were saying is it going to collapse and I'm going to lose everything and have nothing? I doubt that's going to happen, but you definitely want to have money that you have control of where it's invested and you want and that you get to decide the disposition of it as you reach the retirement years.

[D]

What percentage of your income is going into the pension?

[C]

Well, it's all employer paid.

[B]

Oh Then you need to be putting

[C]

15% away and they pay into an annuity fund as well. That's, that's growing also.

[B]

Yeah, both are lame.

[C]

Both are lame. Including the annuity.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Even the annuity last year had a 20% return.

[B]

Well, the market had a 25% return.

[C]

Okay. So I continue to build my own retirement account.

[B]

Absolutely. You need to be doing baby step four when you get there, when you're out of debt and have your emergency fund in place following the baby steps, you need to be putting 15% of your income aside for retirement. And then all of the employer funded things are just going to be gravy on a really nice large biscuit that you build.

[E]

Gotcha.

[B]

And I think both are going to be there. They're just underperforming products compared to good mutual funds and a Roth.

[D]

Yeah, but for some people, like we had a caller and 9% mandatory was going in mandatory. And so you cut it in half. So 4.5%, 5% went to the 15.

[B]

Exactly.

[E]

Rule.

[B]

Exactly. But in his case, he's not putting

[D]

anything, so he doesn't need to full 15%. Yep.

[B]

A quote unquote benefit. Which is very weird because in the old days, when I first started the show, 30 something years ago, almost 40 years ago, the pensions were everywhere. 70% of the companies had a pension. Now I think it's like 4% of the companies have a pension. It's very unusual to find an actual pension anymore, unless it's called government.

[D]

I was going to say more so government.

[B]

Yeah, you see teacher pensions and union pensions and that kind of stuff. But actual corporate America has just about done away with them because they're difficult to manage, they're highly regulated. It's very hard to make them work in terms of managing them for the benefit of your employees. But many do. And they seldom completely collapse. I mean, you've got some pensions. Some of the state pensions are in, in trouble. They're being run very poorly. Illinois, your pension sucks because your government sucks. They're horrible at managing money. And as an example, I'd be scared to death if I was dependent on that one. But now there's. But if you. And all you gotta do is just Google, you'll see what I'm talking about. I mean there's a lot of states that are so poorly run. The actual state is creating a horrible pension product. But. Or municipalities, the same thing. Your local city government for your police pension or whatever, you got to look at that kind of stuff and make sure it's solid. But even if it is or isn't solid, I'm still going to go build my own biscuit. And then whatever this stuff is is just the gravy on it. And that's going to put you in a good position where you're never, never really worried about that. And then you don't say, well, the mine closed and the pension collapsed and grandpa ain't got no money. You don't want to be that guy. That. That's the guy we're not going to be. Benjamin is in Los Angeles. Hi, Benjamin. How are you doing?

[C]

Pretty good. How about you?

[B]

Better than I deserve. How can I help?

[C]

I had a question because I am on baby step two and one of my debts is in collection and I called the collection agency today and offered them a settlement offer to pay it and to pay it and be done with it, and they declined my settlement offer.

[B]

Okay, so tell them to tell them to call me when. Tell them to call you back when they feel better.

[C]

That's what I did. I told them when they're ready to accept my settlement offer to call me back.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And next time they call you, just say, hey, there's a settlement offer on the table. We don't even have to have a conversation. If you take that, I'll send you money. How much do you owe them and what did you offer them and who is it?

[C]

I owe them 300. The company is $300?

[E]

Yes.

[B]

And I offered you flexing over 300 bucks

[E]

in total.

[C]

I have about $2,300 in debt and I was just trying to settle the collections and get done with it and offered them 100 bucks and didn't want to take it. So I was just curious if I should just.

[B]

That would not be unusual on $300. I thought we were talking about. You were. Had $5,000 you owed and you hadn't paid them in two years and you offered. Offered them 1500, but on 300 bucks, they're not going to screw with it. No wonder they laughed at you.

[D]

Hopefully you'll be out of debt in a month or two.

[B]

Right. I would just pay them is what I would do. It's 300 bucks. Get a letter confirming the amount by email and then send them the amount. No, I would not settle a $300 debt.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And for a lot of people out there that are settling. Yeah. We do find, obviously talking, you know, giving a little ball offer and depending on how long you been in, in the collections process is probably how easily that can happen. But we also have Friends at Guardian Litigation. So if you go to guardianlit.com but

[B]

don't do that with 300 bucks.

[D]

No, no, no, no. But for everyone else out there, if you are in baby step two and you have gotten to this point where collections, it's, you know, you have, you

[B]

got 10 or you got 10 or 20,000 bucks in collections, 100% or 50,000 or something, they can help you. Guardian lit can work that through. And they're, they're lawyers as well. They are. And so. Yeah, you're right.

[D]

But that's a, that's a question. We get a lot. Not always for 300 bucks. It's usually, it's usually more. But the collections process is real. And so. Yeah. And it can work to your benefit. Right. If you are in baby step two,

[B]

if you're going to settle, get it in writing before you give them any money. Matter of fact, if you're going to pay in full, get it in writing because they'll double the amount, say they added late charges and try to get more out of you later. So here, even with you, Benjamin, on 300 bucks, have them send you an email. Exactly what is the balance? Wait a week since you just got off the phone with them, but have them send you an email, the exact amount, and then cut them a check for that, that day. But don't give them electronic access to your checking account. They'll take more out than they're supposed to. Cause they lie. It's a filthy business. And so that's why Guardian Litigation's a good idea to have the lawyers on your side. Yeah, for sure. But don't do that with 300 bucks either.

[E]

So.

[B]

Yeah, it's just, it's.

[D]

I'm glad your debt amount, though, is so low, Benjamin. Honestly, that's.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

You'll be out of debt quick and then start building up that emergency fund. Maybe step three of three, six months of expenses.

[B]

Precisely. That's how it works. Yeah. So typically what happens with credit card debt is as it gets older the credit card company, the, the older the debt is, meaning the longer it's been since it's been paid, it ages out. The credit card company will quote, unquote, write off. Now, that does not mean that you no longer owe the debt. It means they no longer think they can collect it. And so they take it off of their books and take a tax write off for bad debt on you. Then they sell that bad debt to a debt buyer at pennies on the dollar and that debt buyer will try to collect from you. And they will work with you because they only paid 2 and a half half to 5 and a half cents on the dollar for the, for the

[E]

debt, but not on $300.

[B]

Hey guys, Dave Ramsey here. Every day on this show we help people work through real money problems and figure out what to do next. Now you can get that same kind of help anytime with Ask Ramsey, ask your money question and get answers built on Ramsey principle principles we use on the show. Whether you're making a decision or just want something explained, Ask Ramsey is here to help. It's fast, simple and free to use. Go to ramseysolutions.com and try Ask Ramsey today. That's ramseysolutions.com. Romans 5, 4, 5. Patience produces character and character hope. And hope does not disappoint. Thomas Sowell said some people who are very dissatisfied with their lives nevertheless have no intention intention of changing their own behavior. They want to keep on doing what they've always done but just have it turn out differently.

[D]

Oh, it's like the definition of insanity.

[B]

Exactly. Thing over and over again and expecting a different result. There you go. All right, Jasmine is Next. Jasmine's in St. Louis. Hi, Jasmine, how are you?

[E]

I'm doing well. How are you?

[B]

All better than we deserve. How can we help?

[E]

I have a question about paying off an auto loan that I took out in my name for my mom. The balance of the loan is a little over 6,000 and I want to just understand if it would be wise to take out a loan against my 401k or take out the money from my 401k to pay off the high interest loan.

[B]

Neither would be wise. And, and I will walk you through. Why do you not have $6,000 otherwise?

[E]

I have $6,000. It's in a separate Roth IRA and also my son's college fund and savings. But I don't touch savings account.

[B]

What's in savings.

[E]

So I have a little over 5,000 in savings.

[B]

And what is your income? Income?

[E]

I make $105,000 annually before a bonus.

[B]

Okay. All right. I would scrape together from some non retirement something and pull the 6,000 together and pay it off. It's a high interest loan. I wouldn't have bought the car in the first place if I didn't pay cash for it as a gift to someone, even your mom. Now here's why we're not going to cash out your 401k or kids college or your kids college or your Roth or anything. So if you take money out of a retirement account, they charge you a 10% penalty plus your tax rate, which in your case is 30%. So you're going to get a 30% hit plus a 10% hit for a total of a 40% hit. That's going to make your high interest rate look like a deal. So we don't want to do that. We don't want to borrow money at 40% interest in order to do that. Now, if you borrow on the 401, you are unplugged, plugging a good mutual fund. Investing, assuming you've got it invested in good mutual funds. And you will pay yourself back at the rate of 6% when you leave the job and you will leave when you die, get fired, or get a better job. One of the three, when you leave the job, that loan is considered due in full. And you're facing the same thing with the penalties and interest if you don't repay it at precisely the wrong time for you to want to come up with money is just when you're doing a job change. So, no, we don't want to borrow against a 401k anytime. And we certainly don't want to cash out a retirement account or something that has a penalty on it in order to pay off the thing. So I'm going to take some of the $5,000 and scrape together some money out of my budget and I'm going to try to get it paid off that way.

[D]

Yeah. And making what you're making, too.

[B]

Yeah. You're making money to knock this out.

[D]

Yeah. It'll be amazing. That's so good. Yeah, the, the car thing, it's real. The, the issue with the car debt, people. I mean, I feel like this whole show so far.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Today I think it has been.

[B]

Yeah. I think we talk car debt all day long. All right, open phones at 38-825-5225. Jennifer is in Pittsburgh. Hi, Jennifer. What's up?

[E]

Hi, Dave. Oh, my goodness. I'm sorry. I love you.

[B]

How can we help?

[E]

I can't finish. He a little bit of a situation here. Like two years ago I was married now separated. Our house got hit by a car. We have probably around 170,000 settlement and my husband moved out when his mom got sick to take care of her. And now he doesn't want to talk about where the money went.

[B]

He doesn't want to talk about what.

[E]

He doesn't want to talk about how the m. Where is the money from the settlement?

[D]

The accident.

[E]

Yep, yep, yep. Because basically it's are.

[B]

You said you're, you're Separated. So you're getting a divorce?

[E]

I'm thinking of it. If he's not going to come clean, because right now.

[B]

No, I'm sorry. Are you separated? Your marriage is not good separated or what's going on?

[E]

Well, he moved out and he moved out to his mother's house right now at first take care of her. To take care of her because he had. She had cancer. But after that, the conversation of buying the house, another house is no longer in. You know, in the story, like, he wants us to just get, like, rent and basically doesn't want to. Does he want to help me pay? Like, he's now saying he's in debt, but honestly, we've been married for so long, but his mom is one of the reasons we fight a lot. And now I feel like I'm like, this is too much. It's like you're not telling me anything about the money. And now you want us to rent and.

[B]

Well, there's not an us. He lives over there. You live over here.

[E]

Pretty much now I feel like I really need to talk to. To, you know, a lawyer and like.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, that's what. That's your next step. I mean, you need to get some legal advice, and then you need to get some marriage counseling advice and decide, you know, if we're going to keep this marriage together, what are going to be the guidelines for the relationship going forward? Because the ones that you have right now.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And, you know, there could be a good chance that that money is gone. The 170 that happened two years ago from the settlement. That's what she's saying. She's trying to get. And he. And she doesn't know where it is. So there's. Yeah.

[B]

You waited precisely two years too long to deal with it.

[D]

That's right. That's right.

[B]

If you're wondering about where it's going to go, you should deal with it the instant it comes up.

[D]

Yep, that's right.

[B]

You can't wait two years later and go, oh, I wonder what he did.

[D]

I wonder what happened there.

[B]

I wonder what happened there. That's not going to play out very, very well.

[D]

All right. I know how much you love social media.

[C]

All right.

[B]

I love social media.

[D]

We got a. We got a question from Instagram for you. I'm 26 years old. I just sold my house, and we'll be netting $72,000 from the sale. I have no other debt than the mortgage of my new primary residence. What's the smartest way to use or invest that money? So netting 72. But, but the other home I guess is our bought. So yeah, I mean if I were you, I'd probably just roll it right into the mortgage. To the mortgage. Unless you have consumer debts, make sure

[B]

your consumer debt is clear. Work your baby steps. Make sure your consumer debt's cleared. You have an emergency fund in place. You're putting 15% of your income away in retirement, putting money aside for kids college and you're putting. And then you start paying down your mortgage.

[D]

That's right.

[B]

So if you Suddenly get a $75,000 bonus, you apply it to whichever one of those baby steps you're in.

[D]

You are.

[B]

And so if you're all the way up to baby step six, you would put it on the mortgage.

[D]

Analise from Facebook asks. It feels weird to be in stork mode and not paying off debt. We're expecting a baby and the hospital bill should only be around 2 to $3,000. Can we just set that money aside and keep working to pay off our debt?

[B]

I wouldn't, I would pile up cash. It's just for a short period of time.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And that you know, you know, having 10, 20, $30,000 laying around when a baby comes is comforting in case something did happen that was outside the range of your insurance policies.

[D]

Yeah. That is one event that I don't know. There's just a level of peace of like who knows.

[B]

And it's just for a short period of time.

[D]

That's right.

[B]

I mean, so really let's say you stack up $20,000 instead of paying down the debt for $20,000. And the day that you and the baby come home from the hospital healthy and there's nothing do with to wrong and everything's okay, you're sitting there with an extra $20,000, you pay it on. You pay it on the debt. What did you lose by doing that? You lost the interest rate on $20,000 of debt for that three month period of time, which is nothing. We'll buy you a biscuit.

[D]

Yeah. When you look over the debt, I

[B]

would just make sure you, you know, you pile up cash ready for a baby to come. Now if you are out of debt and you have a fully funded emergency and you're at baby steps four, five and six, you keep going. You don't do stork mode. Yeah. What we call stork mode is while you're in debt, you temporarily stop paying down your debt. Snowball with a baby on the way. To become, to be sure about a baby.

[D]

Have some cushion there. So it's not just your thousand dollar

[B]

merchandise and not to spend it. We're not spending it on the nursery, okay? We're building up this cash as extra pad that is going to go on the debt the instant that we know everybody's okay.

[D]

Who would do that?

[B]

I don't know anybody that would put this hour of the Ramsey show in the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of peace, Christ Jesus.