Life Happens—But Your Plan Doesn’t Have to Fall Apart

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show
Episode: Life Happens—But Your Plan Doesn’t Have to Fall Apart
Release Date: May 13, 2025

Host: Dave Ramsey
Co-Host: Ken Coleman

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1. Anna’s Struggle After Divorce

Timestamp: [00:50] – [04:48]

Caller: Anna from Huntsville, Alabama, seeks advice on maintaining financial stability post-divorce, as her ex-husband has ceased paying child support.

Key Points:

• Financial Challenges: Anna was a stay-at-home mom for 20 years and only began working five years ago, earning $50,000 annually. She faces $30,000 in credit card debt and a monthly mortgage payment of $1,800.
• Child Support Issues: Her ex-husband was supposed to pay $2,500 monthly in child support but has not been consistent, leaving Anna to depend solely on her income.
• Debt Management: Anna has successfully negotiated lower interest rates on her credit cards and is actively paying them off.

Advice Provided:

• Financial Independence: Dave emphasizes the importance of building a life that doesn't rely on inconsistent child support.

  [01:54] Dave Ramsey: "Mathematically, you have to build a life that doesn't include child support."

• Income Enhancement: Ken suggests leveraging Anna’s skills as a trade show coordinator to take on weekend jobs, aiming to increase her income by an additional $2,000 monthly.
• Debt Elimination: Focus on paying off her car and credit card debts to stabilize her financial situation.

Notable Quote:

[02:56] Caller: "I need to know what I can do to stay afloat and support myself."

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2. Natalie’s Debt Dilemma

Timestamp: [10:05] – [14:39]

Caller: Natalie from New York discusses her and her husband’s significant debt accrued from purchasing a home prematurely, despite a combined income of $200,000.

Key Points:

• High Debt Levels: They owe $44,000 on home repairs, $25,000 in credit card debt, and a $99,000 home equity loan.
• Income vs. Expenses: Despite a substantial income, their debt repayments and lifestyle expenses leave them financially strained.
• Pension and Savings: Natalie has a pension and some savings but fears that selling their current home would mean "throwing equity out the window."

Advice Provided:

• Sell the House: Dave recommends selling the current home to eliminate the home equity loan and reduce overall debt.

  [14:25] Dave Ramsey: "Sell your house. Yeah, you got to clear the house and clear this mess."

• Budgeting and Debt Snowball: Implement a strict budgeting plan using tools like the EveryDollar app to manage expenses and prioritize debt repayment.

Notable Quote:

[14:39] Caller: "Yes."

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3. Damon’s Student Loan Concerns

Timestamp: [32:31] – [43:04]

Caller: Damon from San Jose, California, is overwhelmed by student loan debt and is considering refinancing options.

Key Points:

• Student Loan Burden: Damon and his husband have $280,000 in student loan debt.
• Refinancing Opportunity: Dave recommends refinancing through partners like Laurel Road to secure a lower fixed rate and potentially save thousands over the loan's lifespan.
• Budgeting Stress: Damon struggles with managing high monthly payments while maintaining their mortgage and other expenses.

Advice Provided:

• Refinancing: Opt for refinancing if it lowers the interest rate or shortens the loan term, thereby reducing overall payments.

  [43:04] Dave Ramsey: "If you're looking for a low rate or a shorter term so that you can pay off these student loans fast, talk to my friends at Laurel Road."

Notable Quote:

[42:49] Dave Ramsey: "There are no fees involved and you could save thousands over the life of your loan."

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4. Aaron’s Stock Market Ownership Query

Timestamp: [33:23] – [37:02]

Caller: Aaron from Delaware asks whether the fact that 88% of stock market shares are owned by BlackRock, State Street, and Vanguard should concern individual investors.

Key Points:

• Market Ownership Misconception: Dave clarifies that these companies manage mutual funds on behalf of millions of investors and do not individually control the shares.
• Investment Strategy: Emphasizes that owning mutual funds through these firms means individual ownership of diversified portfolios.

Advice Provided:

• Disregard Conspiracy Theories: Dave dismisses claims suggesting that these firms manipulate the market, reassuring listeners that individual investors still own their shares.

  [33:27] Dave Ramsey: "It's not like if an individual person owned each of these companies and they all owned the stock. Yeah, that would be concerning."

Notable Quote:

[33:30] Dave Ramsey: "They're mutual fund companies. They manage mutual funds. They don't own the shares."

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5. Greg’s Career Transition and Financial Planning

Timestamp: [37:09] – [41:08]

Caller: Greg from Salt Lake is undergoing a significant career change, moving from a high-paying tech job to self-employment as a CPA, resulting in a drastic income reduction.

Key Points:

• Career Shift: Greg leaves a $350,000 annual job for self-employment, expecting initial earnings of $50,000.
• Financial Safeguards: He has an emergency fund of $200,000 and liquid assets of $300,000 to support his transition.
• Mortgage Concerns: Owns a house with a mortgage of $850,000 and has $400,000 in retirement accounts and additional stock holdings.

Advice Provided:

• Maintain Investments: Continue contributing to retirement accounts at 15% of income.

  [40:10] Dave Ramsey: "It's 15% of your income. We're talking about $7,000. You keep on doing it."

• Aggressive Income Growth: Ken encourages Greg to accelerate his business growth to increase income from $50,000 to $150,000 within two to three years.

  [41:08] Dave Ramsey: "I would get this job up and moving and then I'd start paying off your house out of that non-Retirement accounts."

Notable Quote:

[38:02] Caller: "I made the leap last week actually."

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6. Joe’s Separation and Financial Support Concerns

Timestamp: [54:58] – [73:32]

Caller: Joe from Seattle is separating from his husband of 34 years and is anxious about how to equitably divide a $1.2 million net worth without leaving his ex-husband homeless.

Key Points:

• Mutual Separation: Joe and his husband have been living separately for five years, with the husband residing in a motorhome.
• Asset Division: They own a home worth $360,000, with half of the equity ($250,000) likely allocated to Joe.
• Pension and Social Security: Joe has a modest pension and limited Social Security benefits due to being a stay-at-home spouse.

Advice Provided:

• Asset Liquidation: Sell the shared home to distribute equity evenly, ensuring both parties have financial security.

  [59:08] Dave Ramsey: "So you just want all of. You're wanting rid of him, but you're not wanting the consequences of it."

• Budget Planning: Implement a strict budget based on the divided assets to manage living expenses post-separation.

Notable Quote:

[59:03] Dave Ramsey: "You want him out, but you don't want the consequences of the divorce. Can't have both."

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7. Trent and Becca’s Debt-Free Success Story

Timestamp: [66:16] – [74:21]

Callers: Trent and Becca from Orlando, Florida, share their journey to becoming debt-free by paying off $535,000 in debt within 18 months.

Key Points:

• Debt Breakdown: Their debt included cars, personal loans, alimony, and a mortgage.
• Income Management: Transitioned from a combined income of $245,000 to $345,000 during the debt payoff period.
• Lump Sum Payments: Utilized bonuses and unexpected financial windfalls to accelerate debt repayment.

Advice Provided:

• Budgeting and Intentional Spending: Prioritized debt payments by allocating funds before discretionary spending.

  [73:01] Caller Trent: "We laugh because we... moved money towards the debt before getting the chance to spend it."

Notable Quote:

[73:32] Dave Ramsey: "What you tell people the key to getting out of debt is the budget is a big one and being very intentional and on the same page with it."

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8. Lisa’s Blended Family Financial Management

Timestamp: [81:51] – [87:25]

Caller: Lisa from Tampa, Florida, is engaged and blending two families with significant financial differences and an income gap.

Key Points:

• Income Disparity: Lisa earns $200,000 while her fiancé earns $50,000 through his production company.
• Financial Habits: They have divergent financial management styles, with Lisa being more disciplined and her fiancé being less so.
• Blended Family Challenges: Managing finances for a combined family of four children requires coordinated budgeting.

Advice Provided:

• Joint Budgeting: Dave advises against keeping finances entirely separate and emphasizes working together to align financial goals.

  [83:41] Dave Ramsey: "Couples that work together are those that win with my money. 80% of the millionaires that we interviewed were married, and 80% of them claimed one of the reasons they were able to build wealth was they were working together with a spouse, not in spite of a spouse."

• Business Assessment: Ken suggests evaluating whether her fiancé needs to enhance his business skills or consider alternative employment to increase his income.

Notable Quote:

[83:07] Ken Coleman: "He needs to either learn how to run a business, not just learn how to do production, or he needs a different career."

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9. Economic Perspectives and Stock Market Insights

Timestamp: [70:01] – [81:48]

Discussion Points:

• Media Influence: Dave criticizes the media's tendency to focus on negative news ("fear porn") rather than positive economic developments.

  [80:53] Dave Ramsey: "It's just a bunch of drama queens, man."

• Stock Market Stability: Emphasizes the importance of long-term investment strategies over reacting to short-term market fluctuations.

  [81:33] Dave Ramsey: "If you put in your mutual funds and stay in and ride, this is how people build wealth."

Notable Quote:

[81:33] Dave Ramsey: "In a given week, it's just a four-year-old having a temper tantrum in the cereal aisle because the Fruit Loops aren't right there."

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Conclusion

Throughout the episode, Dave Ramsey and Ken Coleman provide practical financial advice tailored to each caller's unique situation, emphasizing the importance of budgeting, debt elimination, and strategic financial planning. Notable themes include the significance of financial independence post-divorce, the benefits of refinancing student loans, and the necessity of joint financial management in blended families. Ramsey consistently advocates for proactive financial control and dismisses common misconceptions about market dynamics and financial management.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• "[01:54] Dave Ramsey: "Mathematically, you have to build a life that doesn't include child support."
• "[14:25] Dave Ramsey: "Sell your house. Yeah, you got to clear the house and clear this mess."
• "[33:30] Dave Ramsey: "They're mutual fund companies. They manage mutual funds. They don't own the shares."
• "[59:03] Dave Ramsey: "You want him out, but you don't want the consequences of the divorce. Can't have both."
• "[73:32] Dave Ramsey: "What you tell people the key to getting out of debt is the budget is a big one and being very intentional and on the same page with it."
• "[81:33] Dave Ramsey: "If you put in your mutual funds and stay in and ride, this is how people build wealth."

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create actual amazing relationships. Ken Coleman Ramsey personality number one best selling author and host of the new Ramsey network hit front row seat. He's my co host today. Open phones here at 888 825-5225. Thanks for being with us. Anna is in Huntsville, Alabama. Hi Anna, how are you?

[Ken Coleman]

Hi. I'm good, thanks for having me. Sure.

[Dave Ramsey]

What's up in your world?

[Ken Coleman]

So my question is I am seeking advice on how to stay afloat after a divorce and my ex husband is not paying child support.

[Dave Ramsey]

Why?

[Ken Coleman]

Well, so I was married for 20 years.

[Dave Ramsey]

Why is he not paying child support?

[Ken Coleman]

Okay. Well he, he uses it to control me. It was an abusive marriage and I've been out for five years and so for that five years, I mean it's been, it's been a tool that he has hung on to that he can control me with.

[Dave Ramsey]

How far behind is he on his child support payments?

[Ken Coleman]

It's hard to even tell. And I've done, I've gone that whole route with dhr. They, you know, they, they don't actually go and get him. You know there's a worn out or whatever. So I guess I don't, I don't want to go down that too far because I want to know what, what can I do to, to stay afloat and support myself.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm tired of being, I mean obviously you mathematically have to build a life that doesn't include child support is the answer to your question. Right.

[Ken Coleman]

Exactly.

[Dave Ramsey]

So what have we got to do? What's your income?

[Ken Coleman]

So my income is 50,000. I was a stay at home mom so just started working at the end of the marriage which was like five years ago. So I do own my home. Well, I have a mortgage on my home and I, I owe, I have credit card debt because I've lived off of credit cards when he didn't pay.

[Dave Ramsey]

How much credit card debt have you got?

[Ken Coleman]

So $30,000 I have a year ago I closed all of the accounts and negotiated the interest rates down to 0 or 3 or 4%. So I have been paying them off and not spending any more on credit cards.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's credit, that's progress. Good.

[Ken Coleman]

So progress. But the child support has stopped. Again.

[Caller]

How much money, let me ask you this, how much money is his child support payment? And if you had gotten that consistently Would that put you in a good place with your budget? Is it a surplus? In other words? You could just tell me how much more money do you need to make? So what's that replacement number?

[Ken Coleman]

I would. I would say I need to make 2,000 more dollars a month.

[Dave Ramsey]

How many babies do you have?

[Ken Coleman]

Well, and that I have. I have three. But they aren't babies anymore. They are two or grown. And the youngest one now is a senior in high school.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. She only got child support on one for just a couple of years.

[Ken Coleman]

Right, right.

[Dave Ramsey]

Because the two grown ones aren't a problem. So we're just raising one kid that's a Senior. Yes, on 50 grand. And why can't you live on 50 grand in Huntsville, Alabama?

[Ken Coleman]

Well, because I think one, because I have the debt that I'm trying to pay off. So I'm paying $704 a month to the credit card payment. My house payment is $1,800 a month and that includes taxes and insurance.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

And so. And then I have a car that's $253 a month and I owe 10,000 on it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

So, you know, I'm wondering, do I sell my house? I have about 120,000 in equity. Pay everything off and just start over from scratch and try to.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's not a bad plan if you can't turn the corner on this. If you could get your income up and turn the corner and keep the house, I would work on doing that. I don't mind you working an extra job for a short period of time to clear the car and clear the credit card and then that, that gets you in balance without him. And he is going to be around but about 18 more months anyway as far as child support.

[Ken Coleman]

Exactly. So I'm very motivated to just to be on my own and be, be free.

[Caller]

What do you do for work?

[Ken Coleman]

So I work in marketing and like I said, didn't have a career. So started off.

[Dave Ramsey]

What are you, what are you doing in marketing?

[Ken Coleman]

I work. I'm a. I'm a trade show coordinator.

[Caller]

So basically live event, right?

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Handling logistics on live events.

[Dave Ramsey]

But just so your hours are irregular.

[Ken Coleman]

Well, no, they are regular Monday through Friday, 8, 8 to 5. So definitely could do something on the weekend.

[Dave Ramsey]

And you could probably use that skill on the weekend.

[Ken Coleman]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

And make really good money.

[Caller]

Yeah. And I think you've been doing this for five years and I understand the imposter syndrome that' a lot of stay at home moms have. But you've been back in the world of work for five years. And I think it's time to raise your sights a little bit here. I agree with Dave. In the meantime, we need to be getting a second job to try to bring in an additional 1500, 2000amonth. That'd be the target that I would be going after because that gives you some breathing room to knock this debt out. But I would also, while you're doing that, be looking at the world of work. And we're going to give you my book. Find the work you're wired to do. Comes with the get clear assessment. Please spend 15 to 20 minutes taking this and then read the book where I coach you how to take that information, what you're good at, what you enjoy doing, and results you care about. Turn it into more money. But we're going to give you that tool at the end of the call. But the point I'm trying to encourage you with is you have far more opportunity to make more than 50,000 than you probably realize. And awareness of what you can do and where you can do it is, I think, homework item number one, to see your future and get your confidence up.

[Ken Coleman]

Right. You're exactly right. My. My confidence was completely gone when I got, you know, at the end of the marriage. So it's been five years of just realizing that, you know, then I am capable.

[Dave Ramsey]

How much is the child support a.

[Ken Coleman]

Month he was supposed to be paying 2500amonth.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right, so there's $30,000 on the table there, too. Listen, so I want you to be free of the need for that because that's gonna add confidence, and I want you to be looking like Ken. I'm gonna speak as your older brother. I think you're a whole lot better than you feel like you are.

[Ken Coleman]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

And I think that has added to the desperation and the flopping around with money stuff.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

You probably mathematically could have tightened up and made it without going into credit card debt, but you were still healing from the toxic situation.

[Ken Coleman]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

And while you're in the middle of that, you don't, you know, everything's chaotic and out of control. And now you're going to get very dialed in, very in control on your. On your income side of the equation. And we're also going to put you in the every dollar premium and walk you through getting, getting rid of this debt. If you can't turn the corner on the income and get this debt moving away within 12 months, I do want you to look at selling the house, but I think you can do it without selling the house. Do you like the house?

[Ken Coleman]

I do.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

You know, is it where you want.

[Dave Ramsey]

To live after when you're an empty nester?

[Ken Coleman]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, then fight for it.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay. Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

And you're a warrior to that end.

[Caller]

Dave, I want to ask you, do you think it's worth her becoming that department of whoever they are in the.

[Dave Ramsey]

Alabama state government be their worst nightmare up in his.

[Caller]

Me too.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm all up in their stuff. I mean, the guy doesn't pay for his kid. I'm going to light his life up. But that's what I thought. But I don't want her emotionally dependent on it. I just want her to go over there and stick a cattle prod on him.

[Caller]

Oh, ye.

[Dave Ramsey]

Metaphorically speaking, maybe. Yeah. This is the Ramsay show, you guys. I get it. Inflation is hitting hard right now. Milk, bread, meat. The price of everything has gone up. So you can complain or you can do something about it, like shop somewhere. Stuff costs less. I'm talking about Aldi, the newest sponsor of the Ramsay show. Aldi gives you a no nonsense approach to shopping and prices that won't bust your budget. Listen to this. Aldi shoppers can save up to 36% on a typical shopping trip, which adds up to about $4,000 a year for a family of four. So stop overpaying for groceries and start shopping smarter at Aldi, where you'll save with the lowest prices of any national grocery store. Find a store near you today at Aldi US That's a L D I US Natalie is in New York. Hey, Natalie. Welcome to the Ramsey show.

[Ken Coleman]

Hi, Mr. Dave. Hi, Ken. I hope you guys are doing well.

[Dave Ramsey]

Good. How about you?

[Ken Coleman]

I am doing okay. I want to be better than I deserve, but not yet.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

I have a little bit of a pickle going on. My husband and I got ourselves into some major debt. We purchased a home when we weren't ready. That's one of the tough things. And now in the season in life, we can't really pick up extra jobs. I myself am trying to see if I can get something after the kids go to bed, but that timeframe is kind of difficult. But we are in the red almost every month, even though we're making 200k on paper, less deductions of child support. But we basically have to choose what we have to default on to catch up and make payments to start a no snowball.

[Dave Ramsey]

Debt defaulting is not a method of catching up.

[Ken Coleman]

I know. I'm kind of lost. I don't really know what to do.

[Dave Ramsey]

How much is your house how much is your house payment right now?

[Ken Coleman]

We do an a catch up payment with 3,500. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

What is your normal house payment?

[Ken Coleman]

2,800.

[Dave Ramsey]

And you make 200,000 a year?

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, my husband does 450 a week on child support. So mine is.

[Dave Ramsey]

That does what? How much a week?

[Ken Coleman]

$450 a week.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, that's only $1,800 a month. That's not killing you. Okay. And the house payment's not killing you. So where's the money going?

[Ken Coleman]

It's all going to be basically have nothing.

[Dave Ramsey]

How much other debt do you have?

[Ken Coleman]

A lot. So with this from home repairs in between, I've been in and out of jobs. I can show you that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Do you make 200k or don't you?

[Ken Coleman]

Now we do.

[Dave Ramsey]

Right now you make 200,000. Okay, so you have home repairs that you did that you couldn't afford. How much are they?

[Ken Coleman]

So we did loans. So the first one was 30,000, the other one was 14.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so we owe 44,000 on home repairs. Okay. How much credit card debt?

[Ken Coleman]

Credit card? I mean, hold on.

[Dave Ramsey]

Hello?

[Ken Coleman]

About 20,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

About 20,000.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, maybe 25.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right, 44 and 25. All right. And how much do you owe in your cars?

[Ken Coleman]

One is 13, the other one's 16.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. All right. And how much are you putting in your 401k every month?

[Ken Coleman]

I don't have one. My husband has a pension. He's part of the union.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Are you guys really making 200,000 on paper?

[Ken Coleman]

We are. I don't know.

[Dave Ramsey]

I don't know where the paper is that you're adding this up. That's what I can't figure out. So he got enough money to pay that. You have enough money to pay these bills if you're making $20,000 a month?

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, that's the thing. I'm puzzled. I signed up for every dollar. Well, my. My thing is up and I can't afford, unfortunately, the premium on that.

[Dave Ramsey]

So, darling, it's $9, so bull crap. Okay. If you make $200,000 a year, you can't afford not to pay the premium on that. So anyway, the.

[Ken Coleman]

We also have a $99,000 home equity loan out.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, there's a detail. Okay, Any other details I left out?

[Ken Coleman]

Our cost of living is pretty high.

[Dave Ramsey]

Now, is there any other debt?

[Ken Coleman]

Any other debt?

[Dave Ramsey]

Student loans. Wait a minute. What happened to your phone? Hey, speak into your phone.

[Ken Coleman]

Sorry, I was just looking at the spreadsheet that I have. I have.

[Dave Ramsey]

Try to keep your mouth near the phone when you're doing that looking thing. All right, so. All right, so yeah, sell your house.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. And then you guys quit buying crap you can't afford. Because the home equity loan, the home improvement loans and a bunch of the credit card debt are all the same associated with this house.

[Ken Coleman]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. And the house will bring enough to pay a bunch of that off. It'll pay off the home equity loan for sure. Your cars are bad, but they're not out of control. But it's everything associated with this house. You guys look at something and you just go freakin buy it. Home Depot must love you people. So yeah, this house is eating you alive. I mean, you've got like 160, $170,000 in non mortgage house debt. Yeah, yeah, cray cray. That's where that falls under. So sell the house. Yeah, yeah. You got to clear the house and clear this mess. And then, yes, you guys have to get on a written, detailed budget. You can do it with a yellow pad or you can do it with our little app. It doesn't cost that much. That's not the point though. I think the point is your husband's not involved and you guys have never said no to yourselves and you're disorganized and you've got to get up above this thing and start telling your money what to do instead of wondering where it went. You got on the call and you don't even know how much debt you have. You're having to turn and look at stuff off phone to figure out where you are when you're this screwed. You need to know exactly where you are at all times until it goes away. And so dial it in, Dial it in, dial it in. Yeah. You need to sell the house. Sure do. And I don't think you're going to, though.

[Caller]

Yeah, I'm just listening. And Natalie, I'm not beating up on you. I would just say this. You. You strike me as a person who's exhausted because you've just been fighting the waves of life that you've created. I don't know if you've ever been in a really choppy boat situation when you're just hanging on and trying not to fall over. That gets exhausting. And you're at that place, but I'm not sure you're fully exhausted enough. And I think Dave's right. I would reset with the house, but this will happen to you again. If you guys don't get to of realizing that you've done this to yourself. You've Created this problem yourself. So you guys got to fix whatever's going on inside of you that's making you long to make these dumb decisions. Better fix that or else those house is going to be a temporary solve.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, and I'll throw out there if it hasn't got. It may not have to do with your situation, Natalie, but we've. There are two major purchases that we've lied to you folks in America about. Homeownership and a college degree. And the lie is that no matter what it costs, you've got to go get one to be successful. No matter if I can afford it or not, I've got to go get one to be successful. And those are both lies. Okay, there's only one way to go to college and do higher education, and that's a smart way. Pay cash for a degree that's actually usable. Don't get a degree in left handed puppetry from some name university and go $250,000 in debt. End up a barista. That's thing number one. Because all college degrees are not worth the money. Some are worth a lot more than you pay. Not the degree itself, but the knowledge that you get home ownership when you buy a house you can't afford. You get broker and broker. Broke people shouldn't buy houses. Makes you broker and broker. That's why they call them brokers. No, you should not be buying a house when you're broke. You ought to get your butt out of debt, you ought to have some savings, have a good emergency fund, a good strong down payment, have control of your money like an adult and only then is a home a blessing. But buying real estate just because, oh, real estate's. Everybody's got to buy a house and you got to buy a house, you got to buy a house. No, they don't. If you're dumb and broke, don't buy a house. It's going to make your life worse. And so it's the same apple we're biting on with the education crap. And it's like we've told people, no matter what it costs, no matter how dumb it is, no matter how out of control it is, go do it. Because it'll work itself out. Because these two things are so valuable, a college degree and home ownership, that you can't make it in America without them. Well, by God, you can make it in America without either one of them. And you sure can't make it in America if you do either one of those wrong.

[Caller]

That's right. I heard her say after laying out all of the details to you financially, she said then, our cost of living is so high. And here's what I think she was meaning. And this is tied to the house. The cost of living like everybody. Everybody else we live around is too high.

[Dave Ramsey]

New York City.

[Caller]

That's right. But this idea that I got to send my kids at the same school as everybody else and this I got to have a car like everybody else, that's a cost of living sometimes that we manufacture because we're trying to keep up with everybody else.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, that's a good point. That there's a difference between cost of lifestyle and cost of living.

[Caller]

Very different. And that's what I'm hearing is the lifestyle that came with the house.

[Dave Ramsey]

Living is food, shelter, clothing and transportation. Lifestyle is all the goodies around food, shelter, clothing and transportation to live like.

[Caller]

We want to live.

[Dave Ramsey]

Lifestyle's eating out. Lifestyle's a car that everybody looks at at the stoplight for all the right reasons. That's a lifestyle. If you're getting out of debt, you buy a car that everybody looks at the stoplight for all the wrong reasons. They think you're in the wrong neighborhood. This is the Ramsey. You know, one of the first things I discovered working in the financial world is how absolutely devastating it is when the breadwinner of a family dies and there's too little life insurance or none at all. Grieving families are suddenly left behind, scrambling to pay bills and trying to make ends meet. I also discovered that there are a lot of rip offs in the life insurance world like that whole life crap posing as an investment opportunity. What you need is level term life insurance, usually 10 to 12 times your income, which is the smartest, most affordable way to protect your family. The key is finding an independent broker who represents a ton of companies and works for you, not for the insurance company. This is exactly what my friend Jeff Zander and his team at Zander Insurance are all about. They shop the term life companies to find you the best options and they've been around for over 95 years, so you know they'll be there when you need them. Zander is the real deal and that's why they've handled all my personal insurance for over 25 years. I trust them and you can too. Visit Zander.com for instant online quotes or for a more personal touch. Give them a call at 800-356-4282. I'm Dave Ramsey. Your host Ken Coleman's here. Damon is in San Jose, California. Hi, Damon. Welcome to the Ramsey Show. Thank you sir, what's up?

[Ken Coleman]

So how do I, or should I ever disclose to my wife that we are secretly worth millions of dollars?

[Caller]

How long you been married, bro?

[Ken Coleman]

Five years.

[Dave Ramsey]

Are you from another culture or did you grow up in America?

[Ken Coleman]

Yes, I grew. I've been in the United States for 20 years.

[Dave Ramsey]

Where did you grow up?

[Ken Coleman]

I was born in Korea, but I was raised in San Jose.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, all right. How. When did you go? How old are you? So you're raised by obviously Korean parents that immigrated here.

[Ken Coleman]

That is correct.

[Dave Ramsey]

And because in Anglo America, what you just described as you probably realize is pretty whacked, Right?

[Ken Coleman]

I understand.

[Dave Ramsey]

And yes, that's why I immediately said, is there some kind of a cultural reason for this? Because it's very unusual.

[Ken Coleman]

So the thing is, we are somewhat of a American couple. I work, my wife is stay at home wife because that's just how we chose to. The thing is, I'm the saver and she's the spender. And for me, I have been working very hard, working my job in my business to just to grow to where we are. And I am not sure whether I should ever disclose our net worth to her because I do not know how she's going to react.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, well, she's probably going to react poorly because she's married to a guy who's deceived her. Unless she's a doormat. I mean, was she right? Was she raised in a cultural situation where she's a doormat?

[Ken Coleman]

No, she's not.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, she's probably gonna light you up then, don't you think?

[Ken Coleman]

To be honest, the thing is, she and I have very different perspectives when it comes to finances. I got that saver, like I'm a minimalist. She's very much a free spirit.

[Dave Ramsey]

I know, but, but that' I'm talking about, about the fact that you've been married to her for five years and sleeping with her for five years, but she didn't know you gained money. That's deception.

[Ken Coleman]

I handle all the finances.

[Dave Ramsey]

Honey, you're not listening. You keep deflecting every time I bring this at you. You have deceived your wife actively. She's not going to be cool with that. You hear that?

[Ken Coleman]

So I understand that she's going to be somewhat. She is going to be angry. What I'm more troubled about is, is how she is going to take off, take the news of these finances and if she's going to spend.

[Caller]

No, we got that. You're scared to death.

[Dave Ramsey]

You're scared she's gonna go spend all Your money. I got that. I have a question, which is the reason you lied to her in the first place. I got that.

[Caller]

Did you have any money when you married her? Did you bring family money into the marriage?

[Ken Coleman]

No.

[Caller]

Okay, So I heard you say you've worked really hard over the last five years in your business. So you're self employed, is that right?

[Ken Coleman]

I have a full time job and I have a business on the side.

[Caller]

Okay. What's making you. How much. Here's my question. How much is your income increased from day one of the marriage to today? How much has it increased?

[Ken Coleman]

Sevenfold.

[Caller]

Sevenfold. So you're making what now?

[Ken Coleman]

750,000.

[Caller]

And so she's noticed that you've gotten more money? Correct. She's not living like.

[Dave Ramsey]

He doesn't exhibit any signs of it. It all goes into savings.

[Caller]

Well, I don't know. What was your answer?

[Ken Coleman]

My answer to does she know that.

[Caller]

You'Re making more money?

[Dave Ramsey]

No, not at all.

[Caller]

So she has. She has a stipend.

[Ken Coleman]

She has allowance, and I give her all the money for the household budget.

[Caller]

All right. I just wanted to get to the bottom of that and make sure that I absolutely understood that.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right, Damon, here's the thing, okay? I value a quality marriage and relationship going into my old age because we've now been married almost 43 years. I value that more than money. You don't. So I'm having trouble connecting with you on this. I can't imagine a world where I would deceive my wife actively about any major thing for five years, about anything. Not even a major thing. I don't deceive her about anything. Except if she asks if these jeans make her look fat, I might lie then. Although she's not fat. So there's. Okay, so that's an easy play, but. Right.

[Caller]

That's not lying to wisdom.

[Dave Ramsey]

But I'm not lying about $750,000 worth of income and millions of dollars worth of net worth that she doesn't know about. I do quite the contrary. Because she can't grasp where we live today. But she's the sa. To your point, Damon, how do you do this? I'm not sure I know how to answer your question. I will tell you this. I'm just the older guy sitting over here going, okay, you brought some culture into this where the guy's in charge and the lady doesn't have any say or any vote, especially if she's a spender. And so all of that, combined with your nerd like, paranoia has led you to this Deception. And so I'm giving you a little bit of grace here. But I'm telling you, this is not gonna end well. The longer you put this off, the worse this is gonna get. And there's two things here that you can't put off anymore. I think you called and ask, so, son, you're always gonna get an answer here. Cause we love you and we want you to win. So thing number one that's not going to last and go well is your disrespect of your wife. So she and you need to talk about her spending. And you all get on the same page. You probably need to lighten up about 25 notches. And she probably needs to tighten up about five notches. And the two of you get on grown up pages on how we are going to live our life or you're not going to be able to go forward because you don't respect her. You think she's a child and you're treating her as such. And that is the second point is your marriage is not going to end well. It's not going to last because this stuff blows up. And the longer you wait and the bigger these numbers are, the bigger the explosion is going to be. So deal with the relational breakdown between you and her on you not communicating clearly with her and that. It terrifies me that you spend out of control. It terrifies me that you think you're in Congress. It terrifies me. We've got to get on the same page, honey. We got to get on the same page. And you've got to get to the point that you respect her competency as an adult. And then, and also sooner rather than later, you've got to stop this deception because those two things are going to end your marriage.

[Caller]

Yeah, I agree with everything Dave said, Damon. Here's what I would do if I were you. I would say to my wife, I have a massive fear problem. And because I have a fear problem, I'm a control freak. And don't make this about her. Don't make this at all about her spending because you've actually given her an allowance. And based on what you've told Dave and I, she's been fairly compliant. So this is a pretty good lady. She may spend her allowance in a frivolous way, but my goodness, bro, she.

[Dave Ramsey]

Ain'T as well spend $4.

[Caller]

Yeah. So we know you've got her locked down tighter than a. Than a drum. So I would lead with, I'm afraid I'm a control freak because I'm afraid I'M going to go get sit with a therapist and I'm going to dig at the bottom of this. But I've got to conf. This is on me, not on you. And what I'd like to do is apologize. One, two. I'm going to go get healthy. Three. In the midst of all of that, we are going to do a budget together and I'm going to bring you into everything. And for heaven's sakes, I'd start with giving her a bigger allowance, man.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, I wouldn't start.

[Caller]

No, no, no.

[Dave Ramsey]

You just need to. You need to talk about this.

[Caller]

No, I know I said third step.

[Dave Ramsey]

Is after they budget as a part of the budget.

[Caller]

That's what I mean.

[Dave Ramsey]

They both need to spend their money. Nobody that's a spouse gets an allowance.

[Caller]

Well, that's fair. I didn. I was. That's right. Let me correct that because I'm not saying in that context, but she's got spending money, whatever that is. And in that budget you need to loosen the reign some as she begins to build back trust. Cuz you are going to violate her trust when you tell her this is my point. So you're going to have to meet her in the middle however you do that. That's fair. I don't mean an actual allowance, but.

[Dave Ramsey]

So Damon, Ken and I are saying you're the problem, not her. That's what we're saying. And you need to go work on you, buddy. This is a weird thing you've done and you need to own that.

[Caller]

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[Ken Coleman]

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[Caller]

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[Ken Coleman]

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[Caller]

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[Ken Coleman]

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[Caller]

That invest in stuff you'd never willingly expose your family to. And for more than 30 years, Timothy.

[Ken Coleman]

Plan has offered mutual funds and ETFs.

[Caller]

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[Ken Coleman]

A clear conscience, Timothy Plan could be.

[Caller]

Just what you're searching for. Contact your financial advisor today to see if Timothy Plan is right for you.

[Ken Coleman]

Or visit timothyplan.com for more information. Investing includes risk, including possible loss of principal. Before investing, carefully consider a fund's investment.

[Caller]

Objective, risks, charges and expenses contained in the Prospectus, [e-mail] Read carefully before investing. Mutual funds distributed by Timothy Partners Limited.

[Ken Coleman]

And ETFs distributed by Foreside Fund Services, LLC.

[Dave Ramsey]

Today's question of the day is brought to you by why Refi? When life happens and those private, private student loans go into default, why Refi offers real possibilities, not judgment. Not like me. Why Refi will help you explore a low fixed rate loan based on your unique circumstances. Go to yrefi.com Ramsey that's the letter Y, R, E, F y.com Ramsey might not be in all states.

[Caller]

Today's question comes from Aaron in Delaware. I read recently that 88% of shares in the stock market are owned by three major companies, BlackRock, State street and Vanguard. Should this be concerning or affect how we invest? Well, I have to plead ignorance on the first part of that question. I don't know where you read that. I've not seen that. I don't know if it's true. I'll cede my time to the gentleman to my left. But it should.

[Dave Ramsey]

Gentleman from Tennessee.

[Caller]

That's right. It should not be concerning.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's not.

[Caller]

Because it doesn't concern me.

[Dave Ramsey]

Because they're not companies.

[Caller]

That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

They're mutual fund companies. They manage mutual funds. They don't own the shares. I do, and Ken does. And any of you that have a 401k does. Okay. State street and Vanguard and Blackrock are three of the largest mutual fund families. Each mutual fund has 90 to 200 stocks in it and millions of customers. So I own shares of Vanguard because I buy Vanguard mutual funds. Sometimes I own shares of State street because I buy fund families that are State street run and operated. So these are not BlackRock. And Vanguard and State street do not have the ability to tell any of these companies what to do because they own shares in them. Because they don't really own the shares. Their customers own the shares. A mutual fund is where you put money in. I put money in, somebody else puts money in and 40,000 other people put money in in their 401ks. It's mutually funded. Then that money is used to buy good, for instance, growth stocks. If it's a growth stock mutual fund. Vanguard manages funds like that. State street manages funds like that, but they're not the owner of the stocks. So wherever you read this was some kind of conspiracy theory bullcrap. Okay? Three companies own 85% of America and it's the Trilateral Commission. Oh, crap. Stay off of that stuff. Get off the Internet if that's all the only garbage you can read. Okay, So I don't know if the 88% number is correct. I doubt it's that high, but it's very high. Blackstreet, State street, and Vanguard. That's. If you put Fidelity in there, you're getting pretty close to most of the. See, most shares on the stock market are not owned by individual investors. They are owned by mutual funds that individual investors invest in. In. And so when I put. When I buy shares of Vanguard Fund, I am buying into 80 to 200 companies that they bought into. But they're not controlling these companies. I am. I'm the owner as a member of the. As an owner of the mutual fund. So it's not like if an individual person owned each of these companies and they all owned the stock. Yeah, that would be concerning. That three people controlled 60 or 70% of the stock market. That would be very concerning. But it's not true. Which is helpful, the fact that that's not a fact. So even if these mutual fund companies do control north of 50%, which they may very well, if you put in Fidelity, you probably would get there. I mean, the only one that's ever been troublesome is BlackRock. And they got all up in the woke stuff and started pushing some of the companies to do some of the woke stuff, which has now backfired on them. And so they were trying to say, we own so many shares of this. You should do so. And so few of the companies caved to that. And then some of the other companies, some of the other mutual funds have come around and gone the other way now. So there's a bit of an offset in that junk. But it really didn't have much to do with money. It had more to do with cultural philosophy than it did actually affecting your share price or the value of your retirement accounts. So answer is, should this be concerning or affect how we invest? Answer is no, for all of those reasons. Makes sense.

[Caller]

It makes sense to me. Thank you for bailing me out. It's nice. Nice to have you to my left.

[Dave Ramsey]

No troubles. That's what I'm here for. Been. Been doing it a while. Greg's in Salt Lake. Hey, Greg. What's up?

[Ken Coleman]

Hi. Thanks for having me on, Dave. I'm a longtime listener for like 25 years, so thank you. Really grateful to have. Have me on. I'm 39 years old and I'm going through a significant career change. I'm on baby step six, kind of, you know, four through six. And I want to know how I should think about the baby steps as well as, like, my savings, with my income drastically decreasing as I Try self employment out for the next little bit.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oof.

[Caller]

Why are we drastically decreasing as a part of this process?

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, yeah, good question. So I've been working for the last 10 years, I've been working in tech in the Bay Area and wanted ready to kind of switch things up and spend more time with my family. I have four kids. And so look, I'm going through the self employment route where I've been going from making, you know, over 350,000 a year down to, you know, maybe 50,000 the first year, you know, hopefully more, but we're trying to grow it up from there.

[Caller]

So you haven't made this leap yet?

[Ken Coleman]

I made the leap last week actually.

[Caller]

Walked away from the $350,000 job. Gone?

[Ken Coleman]

Yep.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Caller]

What are you doing? What are you doing? The same type of technology work just for yourself or something totally different. What are you doing?

[Ken Coleman]

A little different. I'm a CPA and so I'm doing. And I've kind of been growing this on the side for the last three years. So it's not going to zero, but I'm a cpa, so I've been in some taxes and bookkeeping for companies.

[Caller]

And what were you doing previously?

[Ken Coleman]

Two careers. Previously I was doing. I was kind of a supply chain planner for a big tech company. Before that I was an auditor as a CPA for five years.

[Caller]

Do you have six to 12 months of your income set aside in the CPA company bank account?

[Ken Coleman]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Did you move, did you move from the Bay to Salt Lake?

[Ken Coleman]

Yes, exactly. Yeah.

[Caller]

Okay, well now you just, you just, you just answered the biggest question I have for somebody in that situation is, you know, do you have six to 12 months of your income set aside? That, that goes a long way, but that's a big leap.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so you owe money on your house in Salt Lake, Right?

[Ken Coleman]

Right. Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Did you sell the house in the Bay?

[Ken Coleman]

I did not own in the Bay.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

So I just bought one in Salt Lake.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, okay. How much do you owe on it?

[Ken Coleman]

I owe, oh, $850,000 on my house.

[Dave Ramsey]

And how much do you have in your retirement accounts?

[Ken Coleman]

So in my 401k. 400, 400,000. And then on top of that, more liquid, I have about $300,000 in stock between Vanguard and some tech stocks and then 200,000 that's in cash, which I know is a lot, but I've kind of been preparing for this jump.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, I would get this job up and moving and then I'd start paying off your house out of that non Retirement accounts. But I wouldn't do it till you get this job up and moving. I think you're okay to get it up, but you got to, obviously you're not planning on making 50,000. You're planning on making 150, right?

[Ken Coleman]

Right. Yeah, hopefully more than that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. You know, in Salt Lake, you're going to be just fine doing that versus bait cost of living in Bay Area. So you're going to be just fine.

[Ken Coleman]

So should I put on investing for retirement? Should I put on hold? No.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's 15% of your income. We're talking about $7,000.

[Ken Coleman]

Got it. So keep doing that on my income.

[Dave Ramsey]

And then don't put, you know, I wouldn't put any extra on your house right now. I would just sit on this nest egg. And then as soon as you get comfortable with the income steadiness, I'm taking the majority of that 200, not counting your emergency fund. I'm taking all of that stock and I'm throwing it on this house. But you knew that. You'd been listening for years.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. Yeah. I guess the main question was, yeah, how do I keep on investing or do I put that.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's only $7,000. You keep on doing it. 15% of your household income. 7,500 bucks. 15% of 50,000. You know that CPA.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, yeah, fair enough.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's not that much money now, but you get, by the time you get up to 150, you're stabilized and you're going to start chunking on this house anyway. And the whole thing, all your concerns are going away by then.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

So what do you think the timeline is to go from 50 to 150?

[Ken Coleman]

I'm hoping two to two to three years.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's not. That's not fast enough. That's not fast enough. Get aggressive.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

You're a high capacity dude. Act like it. You're not small potatoes, man. You're not used to playing at this level. Get back on this bike and kick it into gear. Drop it into fit, drop it into overdrive. Let's go. Let's go, baby. Let's go.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Get her done. You got the ability to kick this in. Don't play Mr. Conservative CPA. Get her. Get. After you've been running supply chain, you know what these curves look like. You can go get this thing. Go build this business, man. Good for you. Good for you. I'm proud of you. You made a good choice, by the way. You chose life over working all the freaking time. Good for you. Hey, guys.

[Ken Coleman]

What's up?

[Dave Ramsey]

It's Jade Warshaw.

[Ken Coleman]

And look, if there's anybody who knows.

[Dave Ramsey]

About student loan debt, it's me. My husband and I had 280, $80,000.

[Ken Coleman]

Of it, but we were able to dig ourselves out and you can too. If your student loan payment and interest rate are burying you, refinancing could be the solution.

[Dave Ramsey]

Now I recommend contacting my friends at.

[Ken Coleman]

Laurel Road today through their online application.

[Dave Ramsey]

You can get an initial rate quote in less than five minutes.

[Ken Coleman]

And if you have a more complex situation, you can schedule 30 minutes to.

[Caller]

Talk to an actual rate human being.

[Ken Coleman]

Thank goodness Laurel Road makes it simple.

[Dave Ramsey]

There are no fees involved and you could save thousands over the life of your loan.

[Ken Coleman]

Remember, you should only refinance if it makes sense in your situation. So if you're looking for a low.

[Dave Ramsey]

Rate or a shorter term so that you can pay off these student loans.

[Ken Coleman]

Fast, talk to my friends at Laurel Road about their competitive interest rates and.

[Caller]

How you could actually get a lower.

[Ken Coleman]

Rate by signing up for autopay. Listen, nobody's coming to save you from your student loan debt. If you want it gone, you can't mess around. Go to LaurelRoad.com Ramsey to find out more about student loan refinancing. Again, that's LaurelRoad.com Ramsey.

[Dave Ramsey]

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create actual amazing relationships. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Ken Coleman, number one best selling author and host of the brand new hit on the Ramsey network. It's called front row seat. He's my co host today. We appreciate you jumping in and joining us today. The Phone number is 888-255-2225. Well, Ken, Tis the season graduation comes along. Students are walking into the real world, sometimes out of college, sometimes out of high school with no direction on what to do. I'm so proud of you and our team on what we've done with the get clear assessment. We've been using it as a get clear career assessment. Find the work you're wired to do for several years. It's a huge seller at Ramsey and a lot of you have taken it and it's help as an adult. Get moving. And now the student edition is here.

[Caller]

Yeah, it is. It's find the work you wired to do student edition. And here's the story. If you're a grandparent or a parent, a family friend, and you've got a graduate, whether it's high school or college in your life. Imagine asking them this if you could use what you do best to do work you love, to produce a result that you cared about and make a really good living, would that make you excited? The answer from every young person, quite frankly, every person in the world would be absolutely. And that's what this assessment and book do. A, it's a self awareness test on those three key areas. What you're really good at doing, the work you enjoy doing, and the results that that work creates. It lights you up and then we drive you to figure out where that work can be done in the giant world of work. And this is the awareness, Dave, and confidence that we're not teaching in school. So it's a, it's truly the gift that keeps on giving for that person who's launching, whether that be into higher ed or trades or coming out of either the trade schools or college. So great, great, valuable gift there.

[Dave Ramsey]

Only $34.99. The assessment helps them identify their strengths. The book will help them understand the results and figure out what's next. Find the work you're wired to do. Get Clear Assessment Student edition out today. Today's launch day so you can get a [e-mail] store. You can get 10 copies there too. You can get 25 copies there. For all those graduation announcements that are coming in your mailbox, just send them on right back. This is what you need that a lot of people give them. Total money makeover books too.

[Caller]

That's right. Absolutely.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's that kind of stuff. We want to help youngsters get started on a solid footing. Stepping out into the real world, the adult world is a scary dadgum deal. Matt is with us in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Hey Matt, how are you?

[Ken Coleman]

I'm doing well, thank you, sir.

[Dave Ramsey]

Good. How can we help?

[Ken Coleman]

So my wife and I are in our early 40s. We're about to turn 43 and 41 respectively. She just had our fourth child last year and during the pregnancy she started having severe mobility issues. After she gave birth, the mobility issues did not improve and her MRI results show significant damage to her back and hips and she's in severe pain most days she is having to use canes in order to be able to walk distance. She's barely able to do the stairs to get up to our master bedroom.

[Dave Ramsey]

What are the docs saying for the. What are they saying the fix is?

[Ken Coleman]

So there's some significantly invasive surgeries for the back. The doctors do not want to have to do that. So they're going to try injections first to see if that helps at all. But for the hips, she's definitely going to end up having to do surgeries at some point. So at this point it looks like she's going to have one and a half to two years of recovery time after just the hip surgeries. We're hoping to get those done later this year.

[Dave Ramsey]

Is there a bedroom on the first floor?

[Ken Coleman]

There is not. That's our problem.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you're moving?

[Ken Coleman]

Currently we have a three bedroom house. All three bedrooms are upstairs. We have two offices on the main floor, one of which we've converted into a bedroom for our 17 year old. We looked at moving, we looked at trying to do remodels, we looked at potentially adding a residential elevator. All of these are either going to increase our debt.

[Dave Ramsey]

What's your, what's your house worth?

[Ken Coleman]

So we bought it for 320. We currently owe about 245 left on it.

[Dave Ramsey]

What's your house worth?

[Ken Coleman]

We could sell it roughly for 500. Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

Buy another house for 500 and your debt does not increase.

[Ken Coleman]

Right. And then my problem is I feel like we're going to just be throwing our equity out the window.

[Dave Ramsey]

Honey, nobody spent any money. You moved your equity to the next house. You sell your house and you buy another house for 500. The only thing you're going to be out is your selling expenses, but you're not throwing any equity away.

[Ken Coleman]

Well, that's my other concern is we did go and look to get pre approved and even selling our house for 500,000, taking the money we make off of it, paying off the one student loan of 45,000 that we have left and taking the difference, putting it towards the next house. We were Only approved for 200,000 in order to maintain the current payment that we have of about 2,000amonth. So even selling our house for 500,000, we're going to afford less house.

[Dave Ramsey]

Something's wrong. The only thing that's off is $45,000. Okay, you didn't tell me in the first round we were paying off student loans. But hypothetically, okay, if you didn't pay off the student loan and you sold your house, what's your Current interest rate?

[Ken Coleman]

4.125%.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. There's not much difference in that. And what you can get out there now, you can get a five, five and a half right now. Okay. So the interest is not changing much. And you pick your equity up on a $500,000 house and you buy another $500,000 house. The only thing you're out is your selling expenses. You have the same mortgage basically. So you're either trying to move up in house. I think you're moving up in house. I think you looked at six and seven hundred thousand dollars houses, didn't you?

[Ken Coleman]

I am not. No.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, did she? I don't know who I am. I mean the numbers that you gave me. Don't worry. The numbers that you gave me aren't logical math. All right. Do you understand that your current mortgage balance is what.

[Ken Coleman]

We owe about 240,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. So give or take, you have $250,000 in equity, not counting expenses. So if you take $250,000 in equity and you buy another $500,000 house, you're going to have another $240,000 loan and the interest rate is very similar. So the payment would be very similar. You follow me? Okay, that, that's. So unless you're trying to move up in house, not counting the fact you're paying off your student loans out of this. So your payments gonna go up some because you're getting rid of, you're taking on extra. Instead of borrowing 250, you're gonna borrow close to 300. Okay, so you're gonna move up $60,000 in debt with your selling expenses and other things, but that's perfectly fine. That all works. Or you can move the 17 year old's butt out of the little study and move him upstairs and switch bedrooms with it.

[Ken Coleman]

That's what I was looking to do is.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, that's pretty simple.

[Ken Coleman]

Move us downstairs and then move him upstairs.

[Dave Ramsey]

Very simple. Very simple. Okay, so is there other aggravating situations to this? Is she obese?

[Ken Coleman]

We're both heavier, yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so that's affecting all of this mobility as well. Because messed up hips and back when you're obese is like a nightmare. It's painful. Super painful. Because you're carrying around like an exhaust extra person. Right?

[Ken Coleman]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's no fun, man. I'm sorry.

[Ken Coleman]

Physical therapy. So she's been trying to help herself.

[Dave Ramsey]

Exactly. Yeah. And so part of this is a weight loss regime process as well to help her to get her life back. Bless her heart. I'm so sorry, man. Yeah, I think your short term fix is dump the 17 year old upstairs. I don't care if he likes it or not. His mom's ill, he needs take care of the business. And so what we're do. And if it's inconvenient for him, well, whoopty. Everything's inconvenient when you're 17. Deal with it.

[Caller]

I hate to admit this, but I don't always eat right. I know I need to eat more fruits and veggies, but sometimes I just have to pound some chips because they taste so good. That's why I love my field of greens. It helps me eat healthy when I don't have much time. And each fruit and vegetable in Field of Greens was doctor selected for a specific health benefit. Heart, lungs, kidney, metabolism, even healthy weight. And folks, I ain't getting any younger. It's super easy to mix with water. And here is the great part of it. I thought it might taste like grass, but it tastes great. And only field of Greens makes this promise. Your doctor will notice your improved health or your money back. So go to fieldofgreens.com Ramsey for 20% off your first order. That's fieldofgreens.com Ramsey to save 20% on your first order.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right, let's cut to the chase. It's easy to get discouraged about crazy house prices and interest rates. But when you have the right real estate agent to help you buy and sell the right way, you'll have confidence to make smart decisions. Ramsey trusted agents aren't just experts who guide you through buying or selling. They're people you can trust to have your back from the first call to closing day. Find a Ramsey trusted agent near [e-mail] agent. That's ramseysolutions.com agent. If you're tired of living paycheck to paycheck and you want to know where your money's going, you have to tell your money what to do. It's called a budget. It's the dreaded B word. You have to manage money like an adult, like it was your job to manage money. Tell your money what to do. We'll show you how. We have a free budgeting training going on right now with the EveryDollar team. You learn step by step how to make and stick to a budget using everydollar. It's completely free. Did I mention it's free? Your biggest budgeting questions are answered on live Q and A, and we walk you through the whole process. Sign up for [e-mail] webinar. Joe is in Seattle. Hi, Joe. How are you?

[Ken Coleman]

Good. Thank you for taking my call.

[Dave Ramsey]

Sure. What's up?

[Ken Coleman]

I need to know how to financially support myself after separating from my husband.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, I'm sorry. How long you been married?

[Ken Coleman]

We've been together 34 years.

[Dave Ramsey]

Good Lord. What happened?

[Ken Coleman]

Well, that's a long story.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

He's been basically living a life as a single person all this time. And I am just. I mean, I'm 64 and he's 68, but I'm. I'm not. Things are not going to get any different and so I'm just ready to move on. We do have a net worth of a million point two.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

Thanks to, you know, doing your Financial Peace University.

[Dave Ramsey]

My goodness. But yeah, so if you split that, you have 600,000, right?

[Ken Coleman]

Right. Well, yeah, I guess.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, why would you not split it?

[Ken Coleman]

Well, I guess I don't know how we. Well, the, the IRAs are mainly in.

[Dave Ramsey]

His name because I was like, doesn't matter if you get a divorce, you get half.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's the law. Honest.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, yeah, Yeah, I guess. I guess so. I don't know. It just seems more complex than that.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, not really.

[Ken Coleman]

I mean, I'll have a pension coming from a job I had in my younger years.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, well, that, that can be factored into the equation. Are there other assets?

[Ken Coleman]

So we have 442 in cash.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

We own what? We own a home that's probably worth 360.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Is it paid for?

[Ken Coleman]

And then we have. It's paid. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Who wants that? Anybody?

[Ken Coleman]

I would probably want it because I have grandkids and it's set up for our grandkids. I guess the reason I'm having trouble figuring out how to do this is because I don't want him homeless. And we live in Washington, honey, and everything is crazy.

[Dave Ramsey]

He's got $600,000. He's not gonna be homeless. If he does, it's his fault.

[Ken Coleman]

Well, I mean. Okay, so I guess he wouldn't be homeless.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, he'd have more than 600 because you got. You see. Do you have a million, two in mutual funds or. Me and two total.

[Ken Coleman]

No total. So we have.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, yeah. So if you took the house, that's 360 of that of your half. So you would only get like 250 then. And he'd get the rest of it. If you take the house as your part. You follow me? You take the total and divide it by two. Then you start just dividing this up. So a friend of mine says that a divorce turns a marriage into a business transaction. This is like. You just start going, one for you, one for me, one for you, two for me.

[Ken Coleman]

I guess I'm trying to. I mean, I don't hate him. I. And I don't want him. I. I just don't want to be with him. Anymore. And we've actually been living separately on our property for five years already.

[Dave Ramsey]

Although that's insanity.

[Ken Coleman]

I know it is. That's why I'm. I'm like, I gotta do. It's driving me mentally crazy.

[Dave Ramsey]

Exactly. You gotta paint or get off the ladder. This is no fun.

[Ken Coleman]

So. And that's a mutual thing between us.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Mutual insanity.

[Ken Coleman]

He's in a motorhome and I'm in the house.

[Dave Ramsey]

So he's already homeless.

[Caller]

Yeah. I was getting ready to say, what is your big concern? Is it taking care of yourself financially or him? Or him?

[Dave Ramsey]

She's worried about him. She doesn't sound like. Yeah.

[Caller]

What's the real thing for you? Are you. Is there some guilt here? What's going on?

[Ken Coleman]

I guess I feel. I don't. I want him to be able to.

[Dave Ramsey]

You want him to go away, but you don't want the consequences of the divorce.

[Caller]

Bingo. You want him out, but you don't want to feel bad about yourself. Can't have both. You guys are married. You're legally married, but you're not married.

[Ken Coleman]

Right. I agree. We're not.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, then act like it and split this up. Sit down, Divvy. Sit down with an attorney. Divvy. Divvy this thing up. Everybody gets approximately $600,000 worth of something. And if you got 1.2, if that's the number, you got some cash to split up. You're going to take the house, and that's going to take up a big chunk of yours. And then he's going to get some cash, and he's going to have to find a lot to put the motor home on.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, but I'm. But I guess my initial call was to you to find out, you know. Yeah, I'll have some cash, but I need to figure out how I'm going.

[Dave Ramsey]

How much is your pension?

[Ken Coleman]

It'll be 710. I don't have it yet.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, so it's not okay.

[Ken Coleman]

No, it's not much. And I don't have much Social Security because I was a stay at home mom and I homeschooled our kids.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Caller]

You got to go to work.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. You're going to. You have to do something to create some income because you're not going to have enough of a nest egg if you keep this house.

[Ken Coleman]

Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

To live off of the nest egg.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. And that's why I initially called. So let's say.

[Dave Ramsey]

Let's say you get $300,000. You can take about 8% off of that and be safe. And so it's not much. It's $25,000 a year. And then your little bit of Social Security and your little bit of pension and all that together is not enough in Seattle, with the $360,000 house, you got to pay property taxes and insurance and you got to eat. So how are you making it now?

[Ken Coleman]

Well, I mean, we share everything. I do all of our finances still.

[Dave Ramsey]

I know. Does he have an income?

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, he makes about 110 a year.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, okay. So he's supporting you right now.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, yeah. So he's. He. And he's 68, but he plans on working till he's 70. So I. I mean.

[Dave Ramsey]

And yeah, I think you're probably going to develop some kind of a career if you keep this house, mathematically.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. No, and I have no, I have no qualms with that. I'm actually more down to Olympia, not Seattle. So it's not as craz expensive.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, that's good.

[Ken Coleman]

Down there as it is in Seattle. My main question was to figure out how I'm going to financially support myself. I know I'm going to have half of the estate, so to speak.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. But if you keep this house. If you keep this house and you're going to get about $250,000, give or take, and you know, if we round it up to 300, you're going to have about, you know, 25 or $30,000 a year income off of that as well. All. So a couple thousand dollars a month plus 700 from the pension, plus 5 or 600 from Social Security. I mean, you're gonna be looking at $4,000 a month. I'm not positive you can make it on that. But if you can run a budget out and make it on that kind of an income, you're going to be fine. Otherwise you're going to have to supplement this asset base or reconsider keeping the house.

[Ken Coleman]

Well, I mean, if I'm not keeping the house, I'm going to have to pay rent somewhere.

[Dave Ramsey]

So I not the equivalent of $360,000 worth worth. So. No, that's not true. But you're just wanting all of. You're wanting rid of him, but you're not wanting the consequences of it. And that's what you're having to work through. I'm sorry. Wow. Wow. Yeah, I think you're probably going to gin up some income from some kind of a career.

[Caller]

I have to literally going to have. To your point, you laid out what she will bring in, so does she need an additional 1500amonth, 2000amonth, 2500amonth. And unfortunately, at this age, she's going to be limited. There's no question about it. But she can get a pretty good hourly wage. She might be able to cash.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm doing pretty good.

[Caller]

You are? Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm 64. Shut up.

[Caller]

Yeah, but you've been doing this for a long time. She's not been working in the workplace for a long time. So she is limited in her role, but she better get after it pretty quick. Yeah, or reconcile with the dude in the trailer who's bankrolling her. That's pretty interesting.

[Dave Ramsey]

34 years. Years. Yeah. What's up with him that he goes and. Yeah, I'm not staying out there.

[Caller]

That's my point. He's willingly for five years living in the trailer.

[Dave Ramsey]

And cousin Eddie out there in the.

[Caller]

Backyard letting her handle the finances. It's like he's got his own treehouse rv.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's got me an rv. Clark. Oh, my God.

[Caller]

Some mean poker games out there in that trailer.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow. Hey, you guys.

[Ken Coleman]

Health insurance costs are only moving one way, and that way isn't down. And if higher costs aren't enough, the wait times to see your doctor are long, longer, and it's harder than ever to get anything approved through the bureaucracy. So if you feel like the system is working against you, try a biblically based alternative to health insurance. Christian Healthcare Ministries. CHM is a health cost sharing ministry that's helped hundreds of thousands of families like yours take care of over $11 billion in medical bills since 1981. CHM has also helped them stay true to their values and avoid miles of red tape. And CHM support goes far beyond meeting financial needs. They also help meet spiritual needs. Members become part of a family who will pray with them and for them when they experience a medical event.

[Dave Ramsey]

So listen, y' all, there's a better.

[Ken Coleman]

Way to take care of healthcare costs. CHM programs start as low as $98 a month. So learn more today and [e-mail] that's chministries.org budget.

[Dave Ramsey]

Hey, folks, how would winning $5,000 in cash change your life? This month, we're giving $5,000 to one grand prize winner, and we're giving away a $500 prize every week. In May. It takes less than 15 seconds to enter. No purchase is necessary, and you can enter daily. To increase your chances of winning, enter the Ramsey cash giveaway until May 31st at ramseysolutions.com giveaway. That's ramseysolutions.com giveaway Ken Coleman, Ramsey Personalities, my co host. You can visit us here at Ramsey Solutions in the lobby. We do this show on the glass from 1 to 4 Central Time, Monday through Friday. It's completely free. So is the home. Homemade chocolate chip cookies and the coffee. And it's all good, by the way. So there's usually 50 to 200 folks sitting out here and hanging out with us. We appreciate you. Also in the middle of it is the debt free stage where Trent and Becca are standing. Hey, guys, how are you?

[Caller]

Hi.

[Ken Coleman]

Dave. Dave, how are you?

[Dave Ramsey]

Better than I deserve. Welcome. Where do y' all live? Orlando, Florida. Ah, cool. Welcome to Nashville. And how much debt have you two paid off?

[Ken Coleman]

$535,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Whoa. She says breathlessly. I like it. And how long did this take?

[Caller]

18 months.

[Dave Ramsey]

18 months and what?

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, it's a story.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, I'm guessing. And your range of income during the 18 months?

[Caller]

245 to 345.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, very cool. And the $235,000 worth of debt, what kind of debt was it?

[Ken Coleman]

$535,000. I'm sorry.

[Dave Ramsey]

Sorry. I'm sorry. You're right. I'm still trying to catch up. Okay, yeah, the $535,000 worth of debt, what was it?

[Caller]

Cars, personal loan, alimony, lump sum. Lots and lots of bad decisions.

[Dave Ramsey]

And our mortgage paid off the house?

[Ken Coleman]

Yes, sir.

[Dave Ramsey]

How much of this was house?

[Ken Coleman]

Well, we had two houses when we met. We're a blended family. So we had. We sold his house when we got married and then we paid off what's now our house.

[Dave Ramsey]

House. Gotcha. Okay. And the X as well. The lump sum, alimony goes away to pay off. This is a good. This is a good move. Yeah, I like this. This is clean break. Very good. Yes, sir. Very good. Okay, so what does that house bring?

[Ken Coleman]

It's worth about 390.

[Dave Ramsey]

The one that you sold.

[Caller]

Oh, oh, it was 205. I just did an assumption loans. I just signed it over to my realtor.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. All right, so. Oh, and. But that was part of the 235. Yes. Okay, so that one stroke got you down. Down to three. 30. Three, 30.

[Ken Coleman]

Correct.

[Dave Ramsey]

And then from there you got to do that in 18 months, making 245. And then you get after it. Yes, sir. Anything else? Big sold?

[Ken Coleman]

No.

[Caller]

She was gifted a luxury car from her grandparents that we sold and bought a 20 year old minivan and dumped that on the house.

[Dave Ramsey]

There you go. That's a good plan. All right, Were they. Were they Freaking out when you did that.

[Ken Coleman]

It hurts. And feelings. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Ken Coleman]

Wow.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, it's that wild new husband you got. I'm telling you, pretty much you're clearing up the debt, man. How's it feel to be a hundred percent free?

[Ken Coleman]

Oh, my God. Amazing.

[Caller]

Yeah, it's hard to explain financial peace until you experience it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

Wow.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow. I mean, when you get rid of an alimony payment, that's even another type of free on top of mortgage payment, free debt. I mean, all these other things are free. Free. But you, I mean, that, that's a. That's a sweet one to get rid of.

[Ken Coleman]

Talk about the monkey off your back.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. No, no, Careful, careful.

[Caller]

I think that pun was intended.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right, I'm in. I like it. Good for y' all. So what made you, as your part of your new blended family to go crazy like this and go down to the minivan, sell the house, throw everything, clean up, clean up, clean up. Because that's what you're doing. You're cleaning up a mess from both. Lots of.

[Ken Coleman]

Well, so I. I had found you years ago when I was living with my two kids and my parents going through a difficult divorce. And it changed everything for me. I got debt free on my own, living with my parents, saved an emergency fund, saved to buy a house, moved out into my very first house with my two kids as a single mom. Shortly after, met this good looking fellow. And on one of our first time times talking together, he told me about his negative equity mobile. And it was kind of a turn off, but we discovered that we were both on the same page. We were just in different parts of the journey at that point. So he talked the talk.

[Dave Ramsey]

He wasn't bragging about it. He was not at all whining about it. That's a good sign. I traded in a truck, a car.

[Caller]

And a boat for a car with a lot of negative equity in it. But it went from $1,900 a month to $600 a month. So it was a huge win.

[Dave Ramsey]

Heading in the right direction anyway. Yeah. Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. So I'd listened to your show so much and I'd heard people in similar situations and I've heard you given a lot of wisdom into those situations. And I knew that we could do it together a lot faster than either one of us could do it alone, plus the emotional support of it. So I stopped my saving, started piling up some cash when we got engaged, and the day after the wedding, made a big payment on his. All of his debt, and we just tackled it together from there. Wow.

[Dave Ramsey]

Very cool. Very cool. So you're dating and she starts talking to you about this. This negative equity thing is not cool. I kind of like you, but that ain't cool. What were you. What were you thinking?

[Caller]

I was just being bluntly honest with her. This is my situation. This is where I come from, and this is where I'm going.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Caller]

I just have a really small shovel, and I'm making head way.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm getting out.

[Ken Coleman]

So when you're. When you're dating as adults with kids, there's not really the time to waste time like you do when you're younger. And we got right to the point with a lot of our questions and didn't really lie or cover anything up. It was like, how do you feel about this? How do you feel about that? Okay. We're. We're a mutual connection here, and finances was a big part of that from early on, I bet.

[Dave Ramsey]

I bet with what you had been through for sure and you weren't going back. Yeah, I don't blame you. That's good. Very good, you guys. I like that story.

[Caller]

I'm curious to know how you accounted for an additional hundred thousand dollars in income during this time, because this is really relevant to. A lot of people are feeling like, okay, can we do this? You all got out of this thing quick. Well, how'd you get the 100k increase?

[Ken Coleman]

I got a bonus. I got a promotion, and my.

[Caller]

Went up significantly as well.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, my company went through a reorganization, and they required that we get our grant equity paid out in a small portion of it as they were getting. Going through that. So right after we got married and we made this first payment on his debt, boom, we got another windfall payout that we weren't expecting or asking for. So money just kept falling in our laps for no real reason.

[Caller]

Wow.

[Dave Ramsey]

There's a reason. It's called blessings.

[Caller]

Yeah. God's math. It's funny how it works out.

[Ken Coleman]

It doesn't make sense.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow. Good for y' all. Good for y' all. I read a thing this morning. Coincidence is when God's trying to stay invisible or stay anonymous. Yeah. Good for y' all. Well done. Very well done. I'm proud of you. How does it feel to be completely free?

[Ken Coleman]

And they. It's incredible. We were talking to the Uber driver on the way here, and he, like, he couldn't believe it, but he. He was very curious. Like, you don't understand it until you feel it or hear it from someone. Else. So, yeah, hopefully we sparked some seeds of change there too.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'll guarantee you did with him and all the people watching today too. Great story. I'm so proud of y' all.

[Ken Coleman]

Thank you.

[Dave Ramsey]

What do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is the.

[Ken Coleman]

Budget is a big one and being very intentional and on the same page with it that we. I mean, we laugh because we. Before the paychecks were even fully in our account while they were still pending, we had already moved money into the. Towards the debt, made payments on it. Like, let's not even stop and think about it. We're being very intentional. The money is going here. We already made a plan. We just have to execute it before we get the chance to. Oh, well, we could do this other thing with it. Nope, just go ahead and do the plan.

[Dave Ramsey]

Very cool. Very cool. What do y' all do for a living?

[Ken Coleman]

I'm a nurse and a director of patient services at a digital healthcare company, Business Intelligence.

[Caller]

A data nerd.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, I love it. Love it.

[Ken Coleman]

Just recruited him to our company, too.

[Dave Ramsey]

Love it. Well, congratulations, you two. We're very, very proud of you. Well done. All right, it's Trent and becca. Orlando, Florida. 200 or 500. I did it again. $535,000 paid off house and everything in 18 months. Quite a story. 245 to 345 income. Count it down. Let's hear a debt free scream. Ready?

[Ken Coleman]

Three, two, one. We're Deb.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. That is how it's done. I love it. Very cool. You know, I don't get many alimony, lump sum payoffs, but that. That is a freedom. I'm telling you. That's the number of times I've sat down coaching someone, and they've got ongoing alimony and ongoing child support, and it's stuck in. In that budget. It's very difficult. This is a. So a lump sum was a great negotiation. A good payout and selling off the other house. The two of them combining everything with a laser focus.

[Caller]

Yeah, you can see it. You can hear that. That was a lot of pain and suffering in a good way. In other words, like when you're working out in the gym, it is painful and there's some suffering, but on the other side of it, a real victory. And I think you can see it on them, and you could hear it in that scream. So congratulations to a very intentional couple. They got a new lease on life. That's exciting to watch.

[Ken Coleman]

Hey, guys. Rachel Cruze here.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right.

[Ken Coleman]

I'm about to say what everyone Already knows. But budgeting is a good thing to do now actually starting well, that's where people freeze up. And you guys, it doesn't have to be that way. With the EveryDollar budgeting app, getting started is super easy and so is sticking to it. You can set up your first budget in less time than it takes to go through the Chick Fil a drive thru through. It's fast. And the best part, with unlimited budget categories, you can customize it to fit your life.

[Dave Ramsey]

Grocery runs, coffee runs, or planning your next family trip.

[Ken Coleman]

Whatever you have going on, everydollar helps you see exactly what's happening with your money. You'll know what's coming in, what's going.

[Dave Ramsey]

Out and what's left over for some fun.

[Ken Coleman]

Because let's be real, you need some fun in your budget. Everydollar keeps budgeting simple and stress free just the way you want it. So go download the app for free and get started today. Again, go download everydollar today.

[Dave Ramsey]

Got a little test for for you. As of this moment, the it appears that the Trump administration has come to agreement with China on tariffs. And as of this moment, the stock market is shooting through the roof. Huge rebound in the last two days. Now y' all all remember that we were all going to die about a month ago, that the world was coming to an end, that Trump's tariffs negotiations and all that were going to ruin America and that the stock market, you were going to lose all your retirement and the stock market was crashing. We were all going to die. Don't you remember the news? It was just a month ago. Here's the test for you while you're surfing around today and in the next 2448 hours, see if you find one positive news story about it going up because it's about back where it was at the first of the year. Now we're about even from the first of the year. See, if you find one story about all the losses have been completely recovered from January 1st, you won't find one because these people are, they really don't report the news. They're just in fear porn business. They just want you addicted to fear porn. And so if the tornado isn't going to kill you, you're going to lose all your retirement or there's going to be a hurricane or an earthquake, quake or all of the immigrants are going to kill you or somebody's going to kill you, something's going to kill you, you're going to die. That's all they do over and over and over and over again. Find me one story where they report with glee on their face as much as they did with glee on their face when it was going down, that the market has fully recovered as of today. You won't find it. I've been doing this for 30 plus years. After the terrorists hit the towers in New York City, City stock market was closed the first day because Wall street is right there, literally physically there. Wall street, it's a street called Wall Street. Literally, it's right below the towers. So they're cleaning up to be able to get back to work. And they didn't want the markets to reopen in a panic. The stock market dove when it did reopen on the basis of America is under attack and the world's coming to an end and we're all going to lose all our retirement and the terrorist attacks are going to cause us to lose wealth all built. Not a single report when 54 days later it fully recovered. Not one news outlet reported that America's economy is so vibrant, so strong that 54 days after the worst attack in history, other than possibly Pearl harbor on our soil, that the stock market dove and fully recovered in 54 days. Not one. So you just need. What this gives you is perspective of how things really work in the news business. Okay? And a lot of these guys are friends of mine. We do a lot of stuff with Fox. We do stuff on. Ken was on cnn. I mean different people are. George was or somebody was the other day. We're on. We work with all of them from time to time. But I gotta tell you, it's the business they're in. If it bleeds, it leads. And you know, I'm telling you all the time, quit buying and selling your stock. Just get in your mutual funds and stay in and ride. This is how people build wealth. But instead we get all freaked out with the fear porn of watching tv, watching TV news or hitting websites. Even worse because they're definitely clickbait headlines about that try to trigger your emotion. But you're not going to find a report. If you do, it's a one in a bazillion. Because I always look just for fun of it because I don't generally scan the current events pages. They drive me nuts anyway because I know the people writing a lot of them and the, but the, you know, I'll go look but I'll be surprised if I find a single one anywhere. But I mean, front page headlines were that you're losing everything.

[Caller]

Yeah, that's right. And I think while we're on this issue, we have to make sure that we understand there's a difference between the economy and what we're seeing on Wall Street. That's a speculative game. People are SC pulling their money out one day, then the next day. And that is very different than the health of the American economy. What's happening on Wall street is not the same. Make sure you understand the difference.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, I mean, in the stock market in general, you can just remember it's this. In a given week, it's a four year old having a temper tantrum because everything's too good or too bad. One of the two. It's always drama queen. In a given week, in a given decade, if you look over a decade, the stock market's a wise old woman.

[Caller]

That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

She's very smart because she does gauge what's going on. But in a given week, it's just a four year old having a temper tantrum in the cereal aisle because the Fruit Loops aren't right there. That's right. That's all it is. It's just a bunch of drama queens, man. All right.

[Caller]

That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

Lisa's in Tampa. Hey, Lisa, what's up?

[Ken Coleman]

Hey, guys. So I have a mix of a financial and personal question.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

I am recently engaged. My fiance and I have been together a total of three years. Years. We're going to have a blended family of four kids altogether. One from my previous marriage, three from his previous relationship. We're older, we had full separate lives, and now we're attempting to kind of combine them and blend them and everything's pretty good except the financial differences that we have and how he manages his finances, how I manage mine. We also have a large income gap. And so my question ultimately is, is it best for us to go a kind of more non traditional route and kind of keep separate lies because we kind of need to, because it's so complicated. Or do I try to, for lack of a better word, force him to develop, develop better financial habits?

[Dave Ramsey]

How old are you too?

[Ken Coleman]

We're in our 40s. We both have.

[Dave Ramsey]

You're gonna burn a lot of calories either way, aren't you?

[Ken Coleman]

You, you said we're what?

[Dave Ramsey]

You're going to burn a lot of calories either way?

[Ken Coleman]

I'm hoping not. I'm hoping that, you know, it can all be, you're going to burn a.

[Dave Ramsey]

Lot of calories either way because either you guys are going to do the strain, the hard choices of getting on the same page, or you're going to underperform because all the data that we have shows that couples that work together are those that win with my money. 80% of the millionaires that we interviewed were married, and 80% of them claimed one of the reasons they were able to build wealth was they were working together with a spouse, not in spite of a spouse. It's very clear data. Very clear.

[Ken Coleman]

So when you say working together.

[Caller]

Right.

[Ken Coleman]

Because the nuance that I'm struggling with is he's an entrepreneur, small business owner. You know, he's in that phase of developing his business. So the business hasn't taken off yet.

[Dave Ramsey]

And so how long has he been developing the business?

[Ken Coleman]

About 10 years.

[Dave Ramsey]

He's not in the face of developing the business. He doesn't have a business. He has a hobby. It doesn't take 10 years to develop a small business. It takes 10 months.

[Ken Coleman]

I mean, the business is there. It just hasn't taken off to the level that he would.

[Dave Ramsey]

What does he make? What courses? Income?

[Ken Coleman]

About 50.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Okay. And you make 200. And you make 200, right?

[Ken Coleman]

I make 300, yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

300. Okay. What do you do?

[Ken Coleman]

I'm an accountant.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. All right.

[Caller]

What's his business?

[Dave Ramsey]

You already knew what I said earlier there. Unless you. You do public accounting.

[Ken Coleman]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. You know, businesses don't take 10 years to take off, then.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

If you know your stuff. Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's just not true. So why is he underperforming? Does he not work much?

[Ken Coleman]

No, he works a lot. And that's the thing. Like, he's a hard worker, dedicated. I think it's just, you know, just partnerships gone wrong.

[Dave Ramsey]

And what kind of business is he in?

[Ken Coleman]

It's like a production company, like putting on productions and, you know. Yeah, things like that. So, I mean, the, the nuance, the. The main nuance.

[Dave Ramsey]

So is he good at what he does, but not good at running a business?

[Ken Coleman]

Potentially. Potentially.

[Dave Ramsey]

I think accidental entrepreneurs happen a lot. Lot. And we find that with entree leadership a lot, that's not a sin. It's just in recognition. So he needs to either learn how to run a business, not just learn how to do how to production, or he needs a different career because he's got a woman he needs to keep. And underperforming is not. No, you don't need to try to go to non traditional. We're going to hold our nose and close our eyes and put our hands over our ears and go la la, la, la la. And act like this isn't happening. This is happening. Y' all deal with what's happen. What's in front of you. You can build a beautiful, wonderful life on the basis of what you've told me, but not by being in denial. Either one of you, for that matter. The awkwardness of you making six times what he makes needs to be talked about with a pre marriage counselor. You need to talk about his career. And does he need to work on the business or does he need to go to work for somebody? I bet you he could make a hundred working for somebody else in the production. Production world. In freaking Orlando. Is that where she was? No, Tampa. Okay. Yeah. Still. Still could. So let's pick up the book e myth by gerber about working on your business, not just in your business. For him, I think he's got great potential, but no, I'm not gonna act like this isn't happening. Go call every customer.

[Caller]

Hey, what are you still doing here?

[Dave Ramsey]

You know the rest of the show's.

[Ken Coleman]

Happening on the Ramsey network app, right?

[Caller]

So you got to jump over there to continue watching. You can download it for free. Just go to your app store, type in Ramsey network. It's completely free, and I'll drop a link in the show notes to make it easy for you. So if you're watching on the app, you're in luck. But if you're watching anywhere else, this channel is over for you. So jump onto the app and let the fun continue. All right, Go on now.

[Ken Coleman]

Don't make it weird.

[Caller]

Okay, I. I got nowhere to go, so you need to go.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, bye. Bye now.

[Caller]

All right, this is. It's getting weird over there, guys.

[Ken Coleman]

What do we.