Lose the Ego, Win With Money

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Lose the Ego, Win With Money" – The Ramsey Show

Episode Information:

• Title: Lose the Ego, Win With Money
• Host: Dave Ramsey
• Co-Host: Rachel Cruze
• Release Date: August 7, 2025
• Description: The episode delves into the intricate relationship between personal ego and financial success, exploring how shedding ego-driven behaviors can lead to better money management and healthier relationships.

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Introduction

In this episode of The Ramsey Show, Dave Ramsey, alongside his co-host Rachel Cruze, tackles the challenging topic of how personal ego can impede financial growth and strain relationships. The duo engages with various callers, providing practical advice grounded in Ramsey's renowned financial principles.

Key Topics Discussed

1. Ego and Financial Decisions

Dave Ramsey emphasizes the detrimental impact of ego on financial decision-making. He asserts that many individuals make financial choices based on how they want to be perceived rather than on sound financial principles.

• Notable Quote:

  "The ego hates this plan. It does." – Dave Ramsey [29:14]

2. Money and Marriage

A significant portion of the episode focuses on the intersection of money management and marital relationships. Dave and Rachel discuss how financial disagreements can lead to marital discord and offer strategies to navigate these challenges.

• Caller Case Study: Herman from Charlotte, NC

  • Situation: Herman struggles with his wife's spending habits, which have set them back to Baby Step One in Ramsey's plan.

  • Advice: Dave advises Herman to communicate his fears and the impact of overspending on their financial goals, stressing the importance of approaching the conversation from a place of concern rather than blame.

  • Notable Quote:

    "You need to pan back and dream together about what life would be like if we had built some wealth and didn't have the stress of money." – Dave Ramsey [02:55-03:35]

3. Managing Debt and Landlording

Another caller, Sarah from Georgia, seeks advice on dealing with a problematic tenant who neglected to pay for repairs. Dave provides a no-nonsense approach to enforcing lease agreements and maintaining control over rental properties.

• Notable Quote:

  "If you don't have money, you have a money problem. If you have money and don't have control of it, you have a control problem." – Dave Ramsey [14:45-15:27]

4. Navigating Inheritance and Family Conflict

Jessica from Illinois shares her predicament of her deceased husband's life insurance policy naming his sister as the beneficiary instead of her. Dave underscores that inheritance issues often stem from lack of proper planning and advises focusing on what one can control.

• Notable Quote:

  "The inheritance is not an entitlement. You are not entitled to their money." – Dave Ramsey [38:53-39:55]

5. Financial Planning for Modern Challenges

Rachel Cruze discusses challenges faced by young professionals, including fluctuating incomes and high-interest loans. Dave offers tailored advice on maintaining a budget despite income variability and the importance of investing wisely.

• Notable Quote:

  "A budget is telling your money what to do before the month begins." – Dave Ramsey [78:07]

Insights and Strategies

• Communication is Key: Effective and empathetic communication between partners is essential in managing finances and mitigating conflicts.

• Set Clear Boundaries: Establishing and maintaining financial boundaries within relationships can prevent overspending and debt accumulation.

• Focus on the 'Why': Understanding the underlying reasons for financial behavior, rather than just the actions themselves, can lead to more sustainable financial habits.

• Practical Budgeting: Utilizing tools like the EveryDollar app helps in creating and adhering to a budget, ensuring every dollar is allocated purposefully.

• Handling Inheritance: Proper planning and clear communication can prevent family conflicts over inheritance, highlighting the importance of updating beneficiary designations regularly.

• Debt Management: Prioritizing debt repayment, especially high-interest loans, is crucial for financial stability and progressing through Ramsey's Baby Steps.

Concluding Thoughts

"Lose the Ego, Win With Money" underscores the importance of humility, communication, and disciplined financial planning in achieving wealth and maintaining healthy relationships. Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze provide actionable advice, emphasizing that financial peace is attainable through intentional actions and mindset shifts. The episode serves as a comprehensive guide for listeners aiming to overcome financial hurdles by addressing the emotional and relational aspects intertwined with money management.

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Final Takeaway: By prioritizing relationship-building, setting clear financial goals, and minimizing ego-driven decisions, individuals and couples can navigate the complexities of money management, fostering both financial success and personal well-being.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. My co host today is Rachel Cruz. Cruz Ramsey personality number one best selling author, co host of the Smart Money Happy hour hit on Ramsey Networks, and my daughter. We're gonna be here and tell you the truth all day. We're gonna talk about your baby right in front of you. The Phone number is, call-8825-5225. You jump in and we're here to help. Herman is in Charlotte, North Carolina. Hey, Herman, what's up?

[Rachel Cruz]

Hey, Dave. How's it going?

[Dave Ramsey]

Better than I deserve. How can I help?

[Rachel Cruz]

All right, so my call is quick and simple. Hopefully. I am a married man and I have a wife that is a spender. And I just want to know what can I do to get her more on board with the Dave Ramsey plan. We went to fpu. I watched her show pretty much every single day. And I. I try to tell her things. I sent her, you know, YouTube shorts. And I just feel like there's nothing I can say or do that makes her change her ways. And I just. I don't know what to do anymore.

[Dave Ramsey]

I think we're going to phone a friend. We're going to call Winston, Rachel's husband, and ask him how he dealt. I was like, you call Rachel being a spender?

[Caller]

Perfect combo.

[Rachel Cruz]

If we can do that, I'm cool with that.

[Caller]

Okay, well, my question is to you. How are you approaching it? Like, have you guys sat down and had actual real conversations or has it been. Not that it's passive aggressive to send.

[Dave Ramsey]

Throwing. Are you throwing Ramsay YouTube grenades? Is that all you're doing?

[Rachel Cruz]

No, no, no, no. So we have had heart to heart.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Caller]

And what's her rebuttal conversations?

[Rachel Cruz]

There is no rebuttal. That's the thing. The thing is this. When the example is we with my. My brother's about to have a baby and she decided to throw a baby shower and we spent about 700 on that. And we're in baby step. We're. Because of that, we're back in baby step one. And that's the kind where I'm like, you know, I. And she's super nice. She's a great person. Super giving. A little too giving sometimes when, yeah, we need to take care of our stuff, you know, So I don't know how or what to say to get her to do this Dave Ramsey plan.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, quit saying Dave Ramsey for one thing.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Don't turn me into a dadgum cuss word in your house, man.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, yeah, you kind of are already. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Too late. Yeah. Okay, so number one, I'll let Rachel chime in too, but most guys make this more than gals make this mistake. You talk about what to do rather than why to do it. So you need to pan back and dream together about what life would be like if we had built some wealth and didn't have the stress of money. And you've got to get some buy in. In this high definition dream. And then, only then are people willing to do the hard stuff to get to the dream.

[Rachel Cruz]

Right?

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruz]

And I would say I feel like I've done that.

[Caller]

Yeah. Well, what I'm wondering though, again is too for spouses, especially with money, because it's such a hot. It's such a hot button. Because it does. It causes so much stress and conflict. And so for you, Herman, I want to. I would want the conversations more so to go not pointing at her and saying, you did this, you did this. You're doing this. You're a spender. You're out of control. You spend $800. You. What's going on with you, Herman? Right. And coming to her, in a sense to say, hey, as your husband, I have some fear around this. This makes me. When I look at the pattern, what I'm scared about is that we're not gonna have financial security. We have a lot of debt. If something happens like what is going on within you. Cause it can easily become. You don't mean it to be. But it can become the blame game of she's the problem and you're the savior in the situation. Right. And so for her to understand where you're going from what you were just saying, it's not the. What we gotta get on a budget. You have to stop spending. But it's why what is going on with you? And then at that point, Herman, you know, if you guys talk through. And it's not that she can never spend money. Cause that's another thing. Some people. Not that you are this. But some people, right. They go so extreme where the spouse is like, this is the most miserable life because you're giving me $150 in your first grocery.

[Dave Ramsey]

We don't have $1,000 to our name. And you spend $700 on a baby shower. And I'm throwing a flag. Okay, right. That she's out of bounds. Okay? Completely out of bounds. That's like sixth grade math violation right there. Okay? You just don't do that. An adult knows that. Boundary.

[Caller]

Okay, yes, I hear you. But also, I do want to make sure he's giving her the Runway to really understand the reality. Because sometimes people in his situation, they're running and doing all the logistics of it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. I'm just saying if we sit down and we say, this is how much money we have, and then you go do that, that's a problem.

[Caller]

Yeah, 100%. No, I agree with that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. So anyway, yeah. I'm going to pan back and I'm going to make this a conversation. So here's the thing. Maybe we can go this far. Hey, I'm worried about this stuff. This is bothering me. I'm terrified. Our current process is not working. It's hurting our relationship. And I cannot see a prosperous future with the way we're doing this. So something's got to change. Now sit down here with me and let's talk about what we want our future life to look like. What my friend Henry Cloud calls our desired future. And then you have to ask yourself what must be true to get to that desired future. And if she's like, yeah, I'm gonna do whatever I want, well, you now have a wife problem. You don't have a money problem. Now you have a marriage issue. You need to go to a marriage counselor. But most of the time you're gonna get buy in. When you ask questions and pull rather than push. And when you talk about where we're going rather than how we're gonna get there.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

And what Simon Sinek calls the why.

[Caller]

Yeah. And she, to your point, has to live in the reality of the numbers. You can't live beyond that. And when she starts to live beyond that, that shows a level of immaturity, honestly, on her end, that she can't be an adult. And do you know 4th grade math of like, okay, we have this. We can't overspend here. There is a point of that. So I would wanna know from her what is causing this.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. And I think she is a sweet person, but she's got to be the adult.

[Caller]

That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

The second adult in. You're not a caretaker, you're not her daddy.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

You're her husband.

[Rachel Cruz]

I am not. I am a partner. And that's what I want.

[Dave Ramsey]

Exactly. Amen. And that's why she's got to view it. Which means she steps up, puts her shoulder in the harness with you, and together we pull this, this is two grownups.

[Caller]

Yeah. And my hunch is.

[Dave Ramsey]

And then you can argue about what we spend on the shower.

[Caller]

Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But my hunch is from what he's saying and from what we experience a lot on the show with callers, when it comes to money and marriage issues, 80% of it's usually a marriage issue or an individual issue. It's not just the math.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. It's a communication thing.

[Caller]

Yeah. So you're probably gonna start to. If you keep digging in and you guys keep getting to that level of conversation, it's gonna start to reveal other things within the marriage and the relationship, which is great because this is the point of where a lot of couples separate everything. And like, this is just too hard. We're gonna just do our own individual thing.

[Dave Ramsey]

And that's the disaster.

[Caller]

And that's a disaster. Right. So even when it gets hard, continue to push in. Because those places of struggle and conflict, that's where intimacy is built. And that's where you build a strong foundation of a great marriage, is when you get through those conflicts. So see it as a. As a relationship building opportunity moment. Herman. That's what we could say.

[Dave Ramsey]

That was so sweet. It's an opportunity to grow.

[Caller]

It is to deepen the relationship.

[Dave Ramsey]

So we don't.

[Caller]

But I know you're annoyed.

[Dave Ramsey]

So we don't kill each other.

[Caller]

I hear that.

[Dave Ramsey]

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[Caller]

Good afternoon. I'm a landlord and I have a. And I've had a tenant for a couple of years with no real issues until now. According to the lease, she's supposed to report any maintenance problems to me so I can take care of them. But today, out of the blue, I got a call at work from a plumbing company saying they fixed a water issue at the rental back in January and that the $660 bill had never been paid. This was the first I had even heard there was a problem.

[Dave Ramsey]

So I'm so They, your tenant authorized a bill for you to pay without you agreeing to it?

[Caller]

Yes. And it was a. Actually a pretty simple fix that my husband could have taken care of and not costed either of us much money.

Have you called the tenant?

I have reached out to the tenant and her response was she just didn't want to bother me and she just hadn't had the money to pay the bill yet. But it's within January.

And is the bill the work under her name? No, it is, it is.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, it's under her name, but it's on her house. It's on Sarah's house.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

The plumber's not gonna lien the tenant. The plumber's gonna put a lien on Sarah's house and it's January, six months overdue. So this is a sweet person who's not very smart.

[Caller]

Yes.

How long has she been your tenant?

A little over two years.

Okay.

And I mean, I've never had any issues with her.

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

How much is the rent?

[Caller]

It's 1250amonth.

[Dave Ramsey]

And how much do you have in deposit?

[Caller]

One month's rent.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Caller]

How much is the bill?

[Dave Ramsey]

650. Yeah, I'm gonna pay it because you're gonna have a problem if you don't. But I'm also gonna have a sit down with the tenant, probably in person, and really clearly explain because this lady's not bright. And you're gonna have to be real clear. You don'. But you need to be blunt, okay? Like this is $650 that I would not have had to pay if you had picked up the phone and call me. Don't you ever do this again. If you do, you won't be living here. That kind of clear. Now that's exactly how your husband would handle it because that's how I trained him. Right now.

[Caller]

Well, I know, let me.

[Dave Ramsey]

So, I mean, he's handling my rental property right now. So if there's somebody doesn't. Because you need to be clear because this is a dumb butt thing you do. But who does this?

[Caller]

She may not know.

[Dave Ramsey]

I. She's not bright. So you're gonna have to tell her real clear because she's not gonna get it otherwise. And you know, Sarah, you're not gonna. You're probably not gonna be as nasty as I am. But I want you to be very clear. I'm not trying to be mean.

[Caller]

Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm not trying to be mean. But I do want this to, I want it to activate a little bit of emotion in the tenant so that they don't do it again.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

And then you need to pay the bill to me because I'm gonna go ahead and pay it. And. And if you don't, I'm considering an additional rent. And if you don't, we're gonna have another problem. So you need to get me paid now. How can you get me paid back? You wanna pay half of it a month until. For the next two months on top of your rent. I'll work with you on that. I'll try to help you. But listen, my husband usually does these repairs and it wouldn't have cost us 650. It would cost me $14 in parts from Home Depot and my husband's sweat. And that's the way we do it, darling. And so next time you have a problem, you do. You're not bothering me. This both bother me. So you know, and just. You can be. And I know you meant well. That's fine. That's all good. But we need to draw a line and go, this doesn't happen again. Because I'm not worried about this bill because worst case, she never pays it. You take it out of her deposit when she leaves. Right?

[Caller]

Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

You're not going. You're not gonna be out of pocket. But. But I'm trying to keep it from happening again because. What's the next one? She has a septic tank replaced at $6,000. I mean, my God, what is it? Where's this woman? This is like, you know, people do stuff. So, yeah, this is. Welcome to landlording. Yeah, I would, but you want to be very, very clear. You're in Georgia, I'm in Tennessee. I learned with team members many years ago that I was trying to be nice, Southern, passive aggressive, sweet tea. And in the name of all of that, I wasn't being clear and I was getting frustrated and they didn't know because I was being so indirect and working around the edges. And now we have a saying around Ramsey. When it comes to communicating internally, to be unclear is to be unkind. So you want to be kind to her by being very clear with her. Because if this comes up again, it's gonna be a real problem, isn't it, Sarah?

[Caller]

Absolutely. I mean, I'm very. I mean, it's very aggravating to get.

Sarah's pissed. She'll have some piss and vinegar in it. I can hear it from you, Sarah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. I'm just giving you permission as a fellow LA landlord to be very clear. You don't have to be mean. That's not what I'M saying, but that's not what we're saying. But we are saying it's more mean for this lady to not get the message. She needs to get the mail. She needs to open the email, read it as only. It's not an email, it's in person. And then I would follow it up with an email or a letter. Yes, they're writing to, you know, this has happened and we understand this time but this is not to happen again. All future repairs need to be cleared with us before they are done.

[Caller]

And then if you wrote the email, the next paragraph like or I'm kicking you out, I'm evicting you. That's what you say. Your first response.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm so man, I got just. This is.

[Caller]

I know you don't have a lot of patience.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, it just.

[Caller]

I hear you though. I hear you.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

You need to understand there's consequences. This is not how we're going to do this deal. Okay?

[Caller]

That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

And we're not going to operate this way. Rochester, New York Jeff's on the phone. Hey Jeff, what's up?

[Rachel Cruz]

Hi Dave. Thanks for taking my call.

[Dave Ramsey]

Sure. How can I help?

[Rachel Cruz]

So I recently stumbled across your show. I've watched your baby steps explained a couple of times and it's got me on fire to really nail down my finances. So I'm on baby step two. I've got a few, I've got a few loans to pay off and I've got some savings. I'm thinking of taking those savings and wiping out those debts, moving on to baby step three.

[Dave Ramsey]

Awesome.

[Rachel Cruz]

But my dad and my mother in law both independently suggested that I put the money towards my mortgage instead. And I'm confused.

[Dave Ramsey]

You're married, do they, do you work for them?

[Rachel Cruz]

No, I went to them for counsel. I just wanted to get their advice.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, okay. So you ask them to vote on this. Okay.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, I mean you've got to decide what you think is wise, what they said or what we say.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

I think their advice is stupid. I think they mean well, but it's dumb. Okay. We have led more people out of debt into millionaire net worth than any other organization operating in America today. And neither one of them work for me.

[Caller]

Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

So I mean it's. This process works. In other words, it's a proven process if you follow it all the way.

[Caller]

Through and you follow it in order too. That's another thing is some people go out of order and all of it and you're not going to see the progress as quickly.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Jeff, if you paid off all of your debt today, how much of your income would you save per month that would not be going out in payments?

[Rachel Cruz]

About $500 a month.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. And how much is your debt total hun?

[Rachel Cruz]

12 and a half thousand.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. All right. And so if you, if you put $1,000 away, you're going to put 12,000 back in one year. Agreed. How much can you do? How much can you put on your baby step three if you don't have any debt to build your emergency fund back up because you're using your savings to clear your debt? How much, how much a month can you put back into savings with no debt payments?

[Rachel Cruz]

I'm thinking right around $1,000 a month.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Now I want you to crank that up to about 1500 and, you know, get on beans and rice, rice and beans. And let's get that emergency fund rebuilt. I need that for your sake. I want you to have. What's your household income?

[Rachel Cruz]

About 75k.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, cool. Yeah. How much? You have 20 grand set aside for emergencies. Grandma's rainy day fund. And how much have you got in there today in savings?

[Rachel Cruz]

Right now I've got about 22 and a half.

[Dave Ramsey]

Perfect. Okay, so you're going to take it down to 10 by writing a check for 12 and a half, correct?

[Rachel Cruz]

That's right. Yep.

[Dave Ramsey]

And then you got to raise it back up to 20. And if you do that at 1500amonth, you're done in like seven months. And that, that would be my plan if I'm you.

[Caller]

Amen.

[Dave Ramsey]

And then get on through and let's get the investing going and start paying off the house and baby steps 4, 5, and 6.

[Caller]

But get that consumer debt cleared out. Jeff, from a mathematical and an emotional standpoint, when you have no payments, it frees you up.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Now the one vote that does count is your wife's. And so the two of you need to be in agreement on that before you move forward. But that's what we would tell both of you to do. So. And again, your parents mean well, but their plan's dumb. If you want to win with money, you got to make good choices. And that includes where you shop for groceries, which is why I'm excited about Aldi. You'll find everything you need at Aldi, from the same high quality meat and seafood you find behind the butcher counter to fresh organic fruits and vegetables delivered to stores daily.

[Caller]

Aldi.

[Dave Ramsey]

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[Caller]

Mine is in two weeks, I think, or next week. Yeah, but we're doing two or three a month, each of us.

[Dave Ramsey]

You and George and Jade. That's where you find them. Yeah. They're gonna show you how to stick to a budget. And on average, folks are finding $9,560amargin using this EveryDollar app. And it shows you not only how to budget, but how to work the whole system so you can get out of debt, start building wealth, and you can ask questions during the live Q and A, which is easier than getting in on the show, which is hard. So sign up for [e-mail] webinar Harrison is in Atlanta. Hey, Harrison. What's up?

[Rachel Cruz]

Dave? How are you?

[Dave Ramsey]

Better than I deserve, man. How can I help?

[Rachel Cruz]

Amazing. Today I'm trying to figure out my next move. I have $34,000 in student loans on one loan, another $12,000 on another student loan, and then a 17,000 car loan. And I'm, you know, getting help. I'm also, at the same time getting help with a down payment. And I was just hoping. I'm hoping to buy a house soon, so. But the thing is, I'm worried about, you know, all the costs that come with ownership, you know, and with my debt. And so I just want to ask you, should I hit pause on buying and focus on paying off this debt first and keep renting with my high rent rental in Atlanta? And if so, you know, how should I attack this debt? And you know what, you know, should be my force towards that.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you're single?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes, sir. You're 24, 26.

[Dave Ramsey]

Pretty close. Okay, good guess. All right. What do you make?

[Rachel Cruz]

I make 130,000 a year.

[Dave Ramsey]

Cool. What do you do?

[Rachel Cruz]

Medical device sales.

[Dave Ramsey]

Good for you.

[Rachel Cruz]

Good career.

[Caller]

Nice.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well done. All right, cool. So. So you don't have to talk anybody into this but you, okay? And I think you already kind of. You've got. Let me tell you what I think I heard coming out of your mouth, and you tell me if I was right.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes, sir.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. I may be wrong, okay. Because I may have missed it, but I think I heard a lot of people in your life going, buy house, buy house, buy house, buy house. Everybody's got to buy house, buy house, buy house. Crap, man. You make 130,000. Buy house, buy house, buy house.

[Caller]

You're wasting money on rent, and you're.

[Dave Ramsey]

Throwing that money down a rat, Hol. Buy house, buy house. And then I think you're fairly analytical, dude, and you're a very detailed person, and you started going, yeah, but if I take on all those expenses and I've got all this, that doesn't feel right to you, Correct. Did I read your mail or not?

[Rachel Cruz]

No, I think that's 100% right. You know, I've just heard about horror stories of someone buying a house, you know, at this age. And, you know, they have to replace the roof, water heater, you know, whatever it might be. And that kind of worries me with the debt that I'm currently in.

[Dave Ramsey]

We have found that homeownership is a key to building wealth. It's one of the two things that causes people to get their first one to $5 million of net worth. So it's very important. So we're big on you getting a house. However, when you're broke like you are and you buy a house, it will make you broker. That's why they call them brokers. And so, yeah, it's a mess. And, you know, you got to have an extra bedroom for Sallie mae.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yep. Yep. 100%.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. So if I'm you, I'm cleaning up the debt, and you. The good news is 63,000. You make 130. If you don't have a life for a year, you could be debt free.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Now, that's gonna be really hard. You're single in Atlanta, making bank. But I just put you in jail, okay? I put you in the apartment jail. You can't do nothing. You're not allowed to out to eat. All you do is work and pay debt.

[Caller]

You know what make you sick, Harrison, considering how analytical you are? If you go to ramseysolutions.com and pull up our investment calculator and just put in the amount of money you're paying towards your student loans and your car loan every month, and instead, if you had invested that at 26 to 65 it will be, I bet it'll be over $3 million B5 if you are paying yourself versus paying someone else. So that's the mindset you have to have that you're, you're paying other people your income, where you could be paying yourself that income for a down payment and or even investing long term. So have your income work for you, not other people. So that's why getting out of debt is the smartest thing to do, especially before buying a house. Because you're exactly right. Homeownership is very expensive. And if you don't have savings, you have debt, you end up creating more of a stressful situation because there's no margin. And so paying off the consumer debt, first and foremost, getting some money saved in an emergency fund and then saving for that down payment, then the house.

[Dave Ramsey]

Is a blessing rather than a curse. When you move in, the house can be a curse.

[Rachel Cruz]

That makes total sense. And I guess my follow up question to that is I do have a pretty solid, like, I mean, for my age, a solid little fun going on. Oh, God, how much is in it going on? So I have around $35,000. Awesome. And, and so my problem with it is I don't know which to pay off first.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'd pay off the $12,000 student loan, the $17,000 car. Okay, your two smallest debts, and then, then you're going to attack that other debt with a vengeance. Oh, crap. Now you're out of debt in like four months, man. Okay, you're gonna be out in no time.

[Rachel Cruz]

I should just, you think I should just use the full emergency fund down, down to $1,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm gonna send you a copy of the book, the Total Money Makeover. It's gonna teach you the baby steps on steroids. Okay? And the baby steps are baby step one, two is pay off all your debts except your home, smallest to largest, in that order, only keeping $1,000 of non retirement income. We don't cash out retirement, but everything else goes on the debt. We clear the debt. Because as Rachel said, your most powerful wealth building tool is your income. And that investment calculator will make you puke if you don't do this. And so go do it. And so knock this stuff out like your hair was on fire. Be prepared for family and friends to think you've lost your mind.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay?

[Dave Ramsey]

Broke people will make fun of your wealth building plan. Okay, Count on, count on. Because an interesting thing, one of the things we studied when we studied 10,000 millionaires one of the things they attribute to becoming a millionaire is they quit caring what other people thought.

[Rachel Cruz]

That makes sense. That's definitely a problem of mine right now.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's a problem with me. It's a problem with every human that breathes. We all want affirmation. We all want to be liked. We all want people to think we're brilliant. But when broke people are making fun of your financial plan, it's like fat people making fun of your diet. Okay? I mean, come on. So you just got. You got to think about it. That's how we get at it. So Rachel's exactly right. You get that debt paid off, build up that emergency fund, then save up a down payment. Dude, you're gonna be there in two years.

[Caller]

It's gonna be quick.

[Dave Ramsey]

You're gonna be sitting in a nice home in two years, making by then 160. Cause your own arc with this career of yours is not. It's not gonna get. Get inflation raises. You're going to see 10, 20, 30% hits on this thing. So you're going to do great, man.

[Caller]

But I like how self aware you are, Harrison, because he said way I do care, but he says I care about what people think. So it's a good notion to remember. The ego hates this plan. The ego wants to say, I'm making $130,000 a year and I'm 26 years old. Look at the restaurants I can go to, go out with my friends, the car I drive where I live. Because even mentioned it's an expensive rent where he is in Atlanta. Like, right? Every part of your lifestyle gets shut down. And so much of what we equate our success and who we are and what makes us feel good and inflates that ego in us is this. And so that's a good line when you stop that. Thank you. What'd you say?

[Dave Ramsey]

I said, that's a good line.

[Caller]

Thank you. I'll take that compliment. Thanks, Dave.

[Dave Ramsey]

Ego hates this plan. It does.

[Caller]

It does. So, Harrison. Yeah. So be on guard of that where your emotions are gonna kind of spike in that that you're not gonna want this. But I'm telling you, it is gonna be. It's gonna release you from a lot. Cause like you said though, when you.

[Dave Ramsey]

Care what people think, when you're doing busting through change. Change is frustrating.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Learning by its nature is frustrating because you're doing and taking in things you didn't know before. And there's a level of angst that goes with that. And it's real easy to get an entitlement mentality and act like a 4 year old on the cereal aisle and have a meltdown. Cause I can't get Fruit Loops.

[Caller]

Yeah, right.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's like I deserve this. And you know, but you're 56 and you sound like you're 4. You know. And it's like I work so hard. Like we all don't work hard. I mean, give me a break. That's just whining. Call the wambulance. But you're exactly right. That's good. That's very good. You're gonna do this. I can tell, man. Hang on. We're gonna send you a copy of Total Money Makeover. Make sure you get in gear and you call us back and tell us when you're debt free. You can do your debt free scream right here, man.

[Caller]

It's awesome. Harrison. Good luck.

[Dave Ramsey]

Sa Foreign. I get it. Switching banks is a pain in the you know what. But if your bank doesn't line up with your money goals, it's time to make the switch to Fair Winds Credit Union. Listen, you guys know how I feel about big banks. They make money when you stay broke. Charging you overdraft fees, pushing credit cards and telling you debt is normal. And that's why I only we work with folks who help you, not just profit off of you. Fairwinds is different. They're owned by their members, their non profit and they share our values. They even advertise with billboards saying they want their members to be debt free. So they built the Smart Checking and Savings Bundle just for Ramsey fans. You can open your account online in minutes and here's what you get. Free checking with no minimums and no monthly fees. Savings with a high apy to help you in baby step one and beyond. And a mobile app that actually makes sense. Plus you also get access to over 33,000 fee free ATMs and more than 5,000 affiliated branches nationwide. So don't settle for a bank that slows your progress down. Choose one that's built to help you win with money. Go to Fairwinds.com Ramsey and open your Smart Bundle today. Fairwinds is federally insured by the ncu. Thanks for joining us, America. Cody's in Wisconsin. Hey Cody. What's up?

[Rachel Cruz]

How are you? Thank you for taking my call.

[Dave Ramsey]

Sure.

[Rachel Cruz]

How can we help know a quick question. Make a long story short. About a year ago my mother passed away due to cancer. I have two sisters, older sisters and me and my middle sister. We knew that the oldest sister was going to be Left out of the will, my oldest sister unfortunately, kind of stepped away from the family. And the day of the services, my oldest sister found out from a will that she had located that she would not be receiving any inheritance. Needless to say, things have been tight with the or tough with the family. We haven't spoke for a while. I'm feeling guilt that, you know, maybe some of my inheritance to bring the family back together. I should give that up. And I'm not talking a significant amount of money. It's probably $50,000, $60,000 worth of liquid funds and maybe $100,000 of investments. You know, very significant something that my family can use and benefit from. But I just wanted to kind of get an outside perspective on what your thoughts might be for this situation.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow, that's painful. I'm sorry. Well, your mother should have handled this when she was alive.

[Rachel Cruz]

And I had that conversation, and I begged her to please put a letter in writing so that she understands why. But things happen faster than we anticipated. And that letter was never written.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, but she had not spoken to your older sister, not spoken to your mom in several years.

[Rachel Cruz]

Apparently it's. It was a while and she was in.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, how long's a while?

[Rachel Cruz]

They small talked, but she would never help out with any doctor's appointments, medical issues, problems. And there was certainly some. Some problems that they had between the two of them that they never sat down and talked. But it was. She had probably been away from the family for maybe 10 years.

[Caller]

Cody, what. What was your mom's reason to keep her out? Because there just wasn't a relationship there.

[Rachel Cruz]

Correct? Yeah, there wasn't a relationship. My father passed away from a stroke. We kind of got back together. The family was on terms. My sister moved into my mother's house in the wintertime as my mother snowbir into down to Texas. Once my sister realized that the house wasn't going to be given to her because my mom needed to move somewhere smaller. And then we. She wasn't involved again for numerous years until my mom passed.

[Caller]

So I understand the olive branch you're wanting to extend, but I'm going to be honest that it feels like she's coming back into the family, not out of a relational desire. She has to be paid to get back into the family. Right. Like, that feels weird to me.

[Rachel Cruz]

And I. I agree. That's just something I don't necessarily want to admit to, but that's certainly something on the back of my mind.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Yeah. Because if I'm. If I'm hurt and I want a relationship with my siblings. Then there's not.

[Dave Ramsey]

Then you call up and have a relationship to be motivated by money. Anyone who's got any. I mean, this is a fairly cut and dried deal. You didn't do this. Your mom did this. So if your sister wants to be angry with someone, it would be with your mom. And so how can. I can't. I can't reconcile someone else's issues. I can only reconcile my issues. So if I have offended someone, I can go to them if I want to and reach out an olive branch, but I can't reach out an olive branch on behalf of someone else. And that's not how relationships work. And so you can't make her. Okay. You can't make your older sister not be mad at your mom. Mom.

[Rachel Cruz]

Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

No matter what you do. Because it's not your place. I mean, you don't. You're not in that position. Only your mom could have done that. Only that they're the only ones that could have reconciled while your mom was still here. It's so sad, but it is.

[Caller]

And I don't think any amount of money, too, is going to make her happy. I mean, it sounds like it's.

[Dave Ramsey]

This lady's not. Your oldest sister is just not a happy person either.

[Rachel Cruz]

Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

Am I right? Or is that. Am I overstating that?

[Rachel Cruz]

No, I don't think so.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. All right. So I think it's.

[Caller]

So I would go to her and say, I would love a relationship with you. Like, you know. Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

If yours is, I'd be happy to have coffee with her and say, I completely understand that you're pissed at mom for cutting you out. I completely understand that. And I'm sorry that that happened. And it wasn't because of me. I didn't tell her to. As a matter of fact, quite the opposite. I told her to write you a letter. I told her to tell you what she was, and she didn't do it. And because it's hurtful and I'm so sorry for that. And I just leave it at that. I mean, you can say the truth. The truth is you. You know, it's awkward. It makes you feel bad, but you didn't cause it. So. No, I'm not writing anybody checks in this.

[Rachel Cruz]

Now, the spirit, you know, emotionally.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruz]

You know, even spiritually there. You don't think that there's no a reason or there is a.

[Dave Ramsey]

No. The inheritance is not an entitlement. Entitlement. You're not entitled to money just because you hit the DNA Lottery. And so, you know, any of you have a. You know, if your parents have money, any of you out there, you are not entitled to their money. Morally, spiritually, ethically. They can do with it what they want to do with it. It's called their money. They don't have to leave it to anyone. The only thing I tell people all the time is if you're going to piss somebody off in the wheel, have the courage to do it while you're alive. And that way they don't leave people like you in this.

[Caller]

Yeah. Yeah. And so, Cody, again, just to reiterate, no amount of money is going to mend a relationship.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's not that.

[Caller]

It's not with your mom.

[Dave Ramsey]

She's in heaven. I mean.

[Caller]

Well, no, but. But with the sister, like, him wanting to give the sister money to.

[Dave Ramsey]

She's not suddenly going to be okay.

[Caller]

Yeah. That is not. It's not.

[Dave Ramsey]

You give her all of it and she's not going to be okay.

[Caller]

That's not what money's for. Right. It will not do that.

[Dave Ramsey]

It will have that power.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yep, I agree.

[Dave Ramsey]

But a gesture of saying. Of empathy, saying, I get that you're hurt. I would be hurt, too. I understand that and I'm sorry. I feel badly that you are in this situation. I didn't put you here. But I understand that your heart is torn by this, and I'm so sorry. And if you then give me some money. No, that's not what this is about. This is about me telling you I understand that you're hurt. I didn't make these decisions. And it is somewhat unethical to not abide by someone's will, because it is my will that you do so and so. And that's where the name will comes from. It's what your mother wanted. It's what I want. It's my will. And so. And so you, you know, to not do what she wanted with her money is a bit unethical. So. And.

[Caller]

And trying to use it to mend.

[Dave Ramsey]

A relationship, and to Rachel's point, which is really the core of the whole discussion, is money won't do that if the only way money can build a relationship. I mean, there's only one kind of relationship that money does, and it's called prostitution.

[Caller]

Oh, my gosh.

[Dave Ramsey]

I mean, that's it. There's only one thing that you're buying. Love.

[Caller]

I was saying, you know, a gold digger.

[Dave Ramsey]

You know, I mean, similar version. Yeah, but. But, you know, you're buying relationship when. And that's all. And what that is. Is it's not a real relationship. It's a counterfeit because it's not based on reality. And so.

[Caller]

And I'm gonna give you full permission, Cody, too, to have a discernment, if you want, relationship with her. Right. And if you do, extend that part of you, but also don't feel like you absolutely have to mend something right now because it does sound like, you know, there's a bit of a mess too. But if you do feel that in your own conscious that it would be good for you to have a conversation with her, then do it. Absolutely.

[Dave Ramsey]

I would just be forewarned that I'm not part of the conversation is I'm not going to be guilt tripped. You're not gonna transfer your anger from mom to me. We're not gonna have to.

[Caller]

I'm not gonna be a punching bag.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm not gonna sit here and do that. I can empathize with you, but I don't have to get beat up by you. And so I don't need to do that either. And I don't know this lady's modus operandi. I don't know where she's coming from. But sometimes when you're trying to help men, things, where things are broken, there's a little transference. And so you get mad at the wrong thing. Yeah. And that could happen. I don't. I mean, what do I know? But it could happen. So. Yeah, that's a good question. Everyone needs a will. If you don't have your will, go to mama bearlegalforms.com and get it done. 70% of Americans die without a will. 70% of Americans are broke. I wonder if there's a correlation. People that take care of money take care of money. People that take care of their family take care of their family. There's a correlation. Get your stinking will done, all of you. Statistics show that half of Americans don't have enough life insurance or they don't have any at all. I don't understand this, John. Why don't people want to take care of their family? They think they're going to die or something.

[Rachel Cruz]

Well, I used to be one of those guys. I didn't even think about it. And one of my buddies said, hey, the only reason to not have life insurance is if you hate your wife and kids. And I immediately went and got term life insurance.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's a gut punch.

[Rachel Cruz]

And. Oh, you're telling me. And for decades, Dave, I've sat across people who've lost a spouse, they've Lost somebody important to them.

[Dave Ramsey]

Me too.

[Rachel Cruz]

They, they don't know what to do next.

[Dave Ramsey]

Me too. I mean, you're gonna have a crisis here and you know, you got two options. While you're sitting and talking to a young widow, she's concerned about how she's gonna invest all this money properly and not mess this up or she's concerned how she's gonna eat tomorrow.

[Rachel Cruz]

That's exactly.

[Dave Ramsey]

These are the two options. And take care of your dadgum family, man.

[Rachel Cruz]

Term life insurance can replace income, pay off debts, cover funeral expenses. So your family can actually have the opportunity to just be sad.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, to just miss you. That's exactly what it's supposed to be. It's saying I love you to your family. Term life Jeff Zander and the team at Zander Insurance makes it easy and affordable. I've used them personally for 25 years. They're the only people I trust. Go to Zander.com or call 800-356-4282. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality number one best selling author, co host of the Smart Money Happy Hour hit on the Ramsey Networks. My daughter is my co host today. Open phones at Triple 8-25-5225. Melissa is in Las Vegas. Hi, Melissa, how are you?

[Caller]

I'm doing good. Thanks for having me on the show.

[Dave Ramsey]

Sure. How can I help?

[Caller]

So my previous marriage was very financially abusive. I've been divorced for four years and was able to build myself back up. But I'm looking to get remarried in the next year or two and sharing finances just feels really scary. I know that's what you guys recommend, but the jump back into that and sharing finances and doing all that feels scary. So I, if you guys have any.

Tips for me, it should feel scary. I mean, that would be, it'd be.

[Dave Ramsey]

Weird for you if it didn't. You'd be a weirdo. I mean, you got, you got stung. You got stung. So hanging out with bees should feel scary. Yeah. I mean, yeah, that makes sense now and then, but let's go a step further. Okay. Handling money is not a department compartment. It is woven into your spirit, your soul. Where you spend your money says what you value, says what you fear. How you handle money says what your value system is. And so you lose the ability to create an incredible amount of unity with a spouse by not sharing. And so what, you know, I would go slow enough that my wounds were Healed enough that with evidence of high communication and cooperation, I could trust and not superimpose the other jerk onto the new guy. Okay.

[Caller]

Yeah, I'm working hard to not do that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, that's a hard, that's a hard one. That's a human nature thing. And your self awareness is a big deal on that. So congratulations. I think you're very, very wise. But I'll just go slow enough to say, in other words, if you can't share your dreams in your fears, through your money, you're not quite ready to do the marriage thing.

[Caller]

Yeah.

Because you're going to share everything. Everything. You know, if you guys have kids together, I'm like, if I don't trust the spouse that I'm marrying enough with my money, how am I going to trust them to raise human beings with me? You know what I mean? Like it's, it's an indicator of their character and who they are. And if there's a pause on that, then, then again I think that, that, that's a red flag to be like, okay, but, but again your, your pause may be coming from your wounds as you're self aware enough to know. But I think that's the, that's the, that's the important thing what you just.

[Dave Ramsey]

Said is I would coach him and ask your pre marriage counselor to do this and you got, and you could say it out loud to him, teach him this if you want to, I don't care. But if he were talking to me, I would say, dude, you've got to be hyper vigilant to A, let Melissa's vote count in all decisions. B, everything is crystal clear. There is no side deals anywhere. We are doing everything together. And all the cards are face up all the time because she's got tender places. And if you touch one of those areas by forgetting to tell her something, she's going to translate that into you're a jerk and you've got to be super diligent on that. I'll give you an example. In our situation that's similar. Okay. That was me talking to me a minute ago. Okay. Because when we went broke, my poor wife went through hell. We had a brand new baby, a toddler, marriage hanging on by a thread. She would have left, but she didn't have a car. I mean, that's what we were doing, right? It was nast. Water got cut off, lights got cut off. She lived not, she wasn't afraid. She was in terror that we were going to be homeless. Okay, that's, that's the wound that she has now. That was 35 years ago. But we still have an emergency fund for the emergency fund. And I don't even walk near the drawer where the emergency fund paperwork is kept.

[Caller]

Dave still has life insurance on him because mom wants it just in case, like, if Dave dies. Mom is fine.

[Dave Ramsey]

She's got several hundred million dollars in real estate, but she wants some insurance too, you know, and so it's not even logical, but that is me being hyper vigilant to realize that she has a. The reality of a wound there that she was. That that terror can rise up, it can return even 35 years later. Later.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

And that's. That's your guy. That's your guy's job here. Because he's got to look at Melissa and go, she's worth me being super careful and tender on this subject.

[Caller]

And would that Melissa, for you feel so. Would you just feel so loved? Like, would. That would just. In my head, that would raise him up even more of like, you're an amazing guy. We don't mean like, there's a level of trust and care that's really beautiful and I think actually could be very flourishing for you guys in your relationship. That could be really one of the big things that actually unites you versus having to be divided, you know?

Yeah, absolutely.

[Dave Ramsey]

But if you knew every. If you know everything that's going on. And I will tell you this, obviously, with 35 years of positive track record, there's a bazillion times more truck in my competency and my integrity than there used to be with Sharon. Okay. I've regained that, but that scar is still there. I've still got psychological scars from that experience. So you will have that, but it'll get healed over and they'll just be that, you know, that tender place where there used to be a scar in.

[Caller]

Your previous marriage, Melissa, was there a specific thing with money? What was the actual situation, if you don't mind sharing? I'm just curious. Curious, yeah.

So it was always my job to fix the budget, but he would never change his spending habits. And then he would rack up tons of money on the credit card and blame me. And then we refinanced the house, and.

[Rachel Cruz]

We only put him on it, which.

[Caller]

Caused a huge trouble on the divorce. And he never wanted to save anything. He said, we'll save money when we.

[Rachel Cruz]

Get out of debt, which we never did.

[Caller]

Gotcha.

[Rachel Cruz]

We left the marriage with debt.

[Dave Ramsey]

And so have you said all. Have you said all of that to fiance yet?

[Rachel Cruz]

Not clearly, no.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Because I heard. I heard real clear messages there.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

You know, Melissa don't do debt. Melissa does savings. Melissa don't do hiding money.

[Rachel Cruz]

That is very true.

[Dave Ramsey]

I mean, that's. I got real messages now.

[Caller]

I have no debt. Like, yeah, my financial life is.

[Rachel Cruz]

Is where I want it to be and I want it to stay that way once we get married. And so that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. And this is not. This is not about you being greedy. This is about. Not about you being greedy. This is about you not being harmed.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Rachel Cruz]

Absolutely.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. And that, that's fair. Yeah, that's fair. It should be that way anyway. But from where you're coming from, you guys have just got to make. Be super clear and careful to make sure all of these things are addressed.

[Caller]

And I'm going to say, Melissa, if he's not on board on any of that, even if you combine or not, I wouldn't do. Yeah, I mean, like, that is a deep part of your story. That that's not worth the gamble. Even if you keep it separate, it won't be fun. That's not fun.

[Dave Ramsey]

You're always looking over your should. You'll be looking over your shoulder looking for a dagger.

[Caller]

Combine those values. It's the values you're looking for with the fiance. When your values are aligned with it is. It is a beautiful life you guys create together.

[George Camel]

Okay, Rachel, the Internet officially knows too much about all of us.

[Caller]

So much, George. I mean, our names, our addresses, even our relatives names. And what's crazy is even if you opt out, data broker websites can still get your info.

[George Camel]

Don't like that. And just a year ago, get this, the average person had about 300 pieces of personal data floating around online. Now it's over 600. It is doubled in a year.

[Caller]

Guys, that is so concerning. Because that info then can be used in phishing, scams, impersonation, and even harassments. That's why George and I both use and love Delete Me.

[George Camel]

Yes, Delete Me scrubs your personal info from hundreds of these data broker sites, not just once, but all year long. And there's real privacy experts behind the scenes doing this, not bots. So this is digital hygiene. We all need.

[Caller]

We all need it. And then they will send you a detailed report showing exactly where they found your data and what they removed. And you can even request custom removals if you have something specific you want them to look out for.

[George Camel]

Exactly. And this is not being paranoid. This is staying protected. And so far, Delete Me has removed my info from 240listings and saved me 94 hours of time it would have taken me to do it.

[Caller]

I love it. And you guys, in a world where strangers can google your grandma and get enough info to scam her in just two clicks, Delete me gives you peace of mind.

[George Camel]

Yes. So go to join delete me.com Ramsey for 20% off. And that discount brings their annual plans down to about 9 bucks a month. So go check it out. Join deletem.com Ramsey.

[Dave Ramsey]

Buying or selling a home is a big deal. And there's a lot of drama out there in the real estate world, especially if you do something like Instagram or TikTok, you'll find all the drama, all the feels are out there regarding real estate. But here's the truth. When you got all the drama going on, there's only one way to cut through it. Facts are your friends. When you got facts, it kind of lets the air out of the drama. And we can help you with that. We've got a great US housing market trends [e-mail] market and so it'll have on there, what is the facts on the actual inventory, the actual median home price, how many days on the market, what are prices doing? What is interest rates doing? Not what your broke friends with too many beers at happy hours opinion is what's really going on with real estate. We can help you with that. And it's good news. It's good news. I mean, there's a lot of inventory, but there's also the median. Home prices are steadily increasing. Not very fast, not much, but a little bit. They're not going down. House prices, there's not a bubble, they're not crashing and they're not going to. There's a million 82,520 houses on the market right now. Now it's the highest inventory since 2019. And there's a demand that's higher than that. So demand is higher than supply. Definition is prices will go up, interest rates drop, and prices are going to go up quicker. So be ready for that. That's going to happen because there's people sitting on the sidelines. They're all going to jump in there at once. And so as soon as they, as soon as the bell rings, they're going to go. And so this is a great time to buy, by the way, for that reason.

[Caller]

And you get a little negotiating power because days on the market, yeah, there's.

[Dave Ramsey]

Not 83 people lined up to buy one house over the weekend like there was. Y' all remember those days? That's 20 minutes ago, right. And yeah. So right now there's actually only one person. So you're actually having like this negotiation like the old days. And so it's a really excellent time to have a fair conversation about a fair.

[Caller]

And it's normalized. You've always said that about the market. The not good of like how you know, everything skyrocket, all the craziness. You always said it just needs to. The normal. The normalization of the market is the best, healthiest market.

[Dave Ramsey]

Not these crazy ups and downs frenzy is not good. It's not good for the market long term. And we had that right after Covid, y' all remember? Everybody came out of their houses looking for a new house. Like a Baptist with a casserole. I mean it was unbelievable. So they were everywhere and it was crazy and drove prices straight up. And you're getting these crazy offers and all that. So we're in a pretty calm. It's almost, almost kind of quiet. But it's a really excellent time. So all of that to say ramseysolutions.com market or click in the show notes. And we'll help you with facts, ma'. Am. Just the facts. Rachel's in Canada. Hi, Rachel, what's up?

[Caller]

Hello, I'm here.

[Dave Ramsey]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're breaking up. I don't know if you're moving your phone in circles or what. Let's try again. Speak directly into your phone. Let's try one more time.

[Caller]

Okay. I'm here with my husband and we don't have retirement set up for me ahead of me. We have a 13 year age difference. I will have Social Security. We do have assets. So we have a home renting and the rental just dried up, so we've listed it for sale.

[Dave Ramsey]

And we did finally lose you. Okay, we'll try to get it reset, honey, when we can actually hear you. We're only hearing about every third word. We're trying to hold our breath and understand what you're saying. Rosie's in New York. Hey, Rosie, what's up?

[Caller]

Now you hit Jalen hit the wrong one.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm just going crazy here. What am I trying to do? All right, let me try them. Doing the right thing. There's Rosie. Hi, Rosie, how are you?

[Caller]

Hi.

Thank you for taking my call.

[Dave Ramsey]

Sure. How can I help?

[Caller]

My employer is offering a pre tax benefit for leasing a vehicle. So would this affect the financial advice comparison between leasing financing and buying a vehicle outright?

[Dave Ramsey]

No, leasing a vehicle is financing a vehicle. You're signing the lease, right?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, don't do that. No, no, no, no, no. I'll take the money. Just give me the money and I'll go buy a car.

[Caller]

Even though the lease would be pre tax and if I buy the car, it will be post tax.

[Dave Ramsey]

Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. The deal is this. Leasing is the most expensive way to operate a vehicle. Mathematically it's a rip off. The average cost of capital quote interest rate is 14.2% and you're buying a new car and it goes down in value like a rock. And all of the lost appreciation is built into the lease payment. You're financing something you cannot afford to buy and you're calling it smart because of some little quasi tax break. No, do not do this. It's a bad deal for you, honey. It's a bad deal. Everybody's trying to be sophisticated here and you're going to step in a bear trap with it. Don't do it. Simply pay cash for your car. And if they want to give you some more money at work, I'll take it. There's no hundred percent tax break. Okay? So the only way this works is if you get 100% write off. Otherwise you're trading dollars for quarters. Understand how that works?

[Rachel Cruz]

No.

[Caller]

What do you mean by there's not 100% tax?

[Dave Ramsey]

When you have a thousand dollar tax write off or you do something pre tax $1,000, you don't save $1,000, you save a quart. You save $250 in taxes.

[Caller]

Yeah. You save like 30%.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, yeah. And so you're trading a dollar for 30 cents bad trade for the extra.

[Caller]

You'Re paying on the lease is what you're saying.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, well, and you're, and you're in the process in the name of sophistication or in the name of tax break breaks or sophisticated tax breaks, if we want to put the two words together, you're doing a really dumb butt deal economically and mathematically just to get involved in the tax thing. And you know 100% of the time that you do something only because of the tax, it's a bad deal. You do the smart things and get whatever tax break you can get on the smart things and you might move on. That's the only thing you do. And so I'll give you an example of that out there that's floating around right now into the big beautiful bill or whatever the flip they called it. They did away with the tax credits, not deductions for the solar units on your home.

[Caller]

Oh yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

At the end of the year So a bunch of people are running out right now and financing solar units at 18% so they don't miss the tax break. Stupid. Mathematically stupid. But it created this false scenario because the end of the year, it's over. Now solar actually has to mathematically stand on its own without a false tax prop up. And so solar's actually got to cost less than real electricity or the regular electricity. You know, it actually has to work now mathematically without a false government prop up. But people are going, oh God, I can't miss the tax break. And they're spending more than the tax break because they can't afford to finance it. And they're buying solar panels like they're going out. It's the same thing. We're motivated by the wrong thing when you're motivated by taxes.

[Caller]

Same with people keeping their mortgage sometimes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, great example, great example. 92% of the people this year in America will not take an itemized deduction. They will do standard deductible. If you do not itemize on your tax return, you do not get the write off on your home. The only way you get to write the mortgage off the mortgage interest rate on your home is you have to itemize. Only 8% of Americans do that. But a whole bunch of that 92 that aren't actually taking the write off go, well, I'm keeping my mortgage because it's saving me all my time. No, it's not. You're not itemizing. That's just stupid. Stupid God, man. But it's just, you know what that is? That's Internet theology is what it is. It's a problem. And people just. You're exactly right. So if you did actually do it, let's say you had a thousand, $10,000 in interest and you're in the highest possible tax bracket, 37%. Okay? And you wrote off 30. So. So 300 or 3,000 bucks in tax, in actual tax savings will come from you having a $10,000 interest bill. So what people are saying then is these are the ones that actually do itemize, is I'm going to send the mortgage company 10,000 to keep from sending the government 3,000. No, I need to say that again. I'm going to send the government 10. I'm going to send the mortgage company $10,000 to keep from sending the government 3,000. And I'm going to strut around like I'm smart when I traded a dollar for 30 cents. No, you're stupid. That's it. Sam Mauricio is in New York. Hi, Mauricio. How are you?

[Caller]

I'm good.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yourself?

[Dave Ramsey]

Better than I deserve. What's up?

[Rachel Cruz]

So here's my situation. I have a business, and I have three of the partners involved in it. And one partner really hasn't been pulling his weight for probably two years. Out of the three that we've been open at this point, and we've already had talks and we've had all this other stuff, and he doesn't seem. He promises he's going to do it. He doesn't do it. Ultimately, I don't think I could work with him anymore. I don't trust him anymore. How can I go about going to the next step, or what should that be?

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, this is one of the reasons we say the only ship that won't sail is a partnership, because very few of them make it. For this is one of the reasons they don't make it. I'm hoping, and I'm betting not, but I'm hoping you guys have detailed partnership agreements.

[Rachel Cruz]

We do.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Does it not. Does it address what happens if one of the partners isn't. Isn't falling in line with the other three? How do you. How do you remove someone? How do you remove someone?

[Rachel Cruz]

So it's basically a buyout, whatever those terms are, in terms of money. So basically what it was, was you get. You get, hey, here's 30 day notice service. You're not doing what you're supposed to do. You get 30 days to fix it. After the 30 days, basically, then you're out. And whatever. Whatever the terms that we had, do.

[Dave Ramsey]

You have the money to write him the check that the document requires?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Caller]

What are the other partners saying?

[Rachel Cruz]

The same.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruz]

They're done working with them.

[Caller]

Okay. So y' all are all in agreement?

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. So I. I guess you just execute what the plan says, don't you? What. Why would you not do. Do that? Sit down and say, you know, our document says that you have 30 days to fix this to all three of our satisfaction. And so, you know, you've been sitting on your butt and we can't see you sitting on your butt anymore. We're done with it, and we don't think you're going to turn it. So we'd rather you just not even work the 30 days and just take the check and go.

[Rachel Cruz]

Right. The problem here, here comes the kind of the fly in the ointment, so to speak.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. I was waiting on. I knew there was an issue. What?

[Rachel Cruz]

Right. There's always something. Right. Last year we did a lot more and the terms are a percentage of year to date revenue is your buyout. Right. So from last year to this year, we're about 60% down of what we were at the same time. So he wants to kind of drag this thing out as much as possible.

[Dave Ramsey]

That'd be awesome. Because these bad numbers are going to be the ones you calculate on.

[Rachel Cruz]

Right. But. And that's why he's kind of of like, I think he should I get a lawyer involved, Like. Okay, so this is just enough.

[Dave Ramsey]

If you write him a check today. What is the check? Have you calculated it?

[Rachel Cruz]

I would say probably right now. Probably close to like $20,000. That's it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, geez, man. Write the check.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Get rid of the dude.

[Rachel Cruz]

I don't think he'll take it. That's the problem.

[Dave Ramsey]

You don't have a choice.

[Rachel Cruz]

And I don't want.

[Dave Ramsey]

You don't have a choice. The formulas in the document.

[Rachel Cruz]

And then what? I'd have to go to a lawyer after that.

[Dave Ramsey]

The formulas in the document. Document. If he wants to argue with the document, he's gonna lose in court.

[Rachel Cruz]

Right, but then I still. Right. I have to take him to court. That's what.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, you don't have to take him to court. He has to take you to court. You're throwing him out? I'm taking his keys and his computer.

[Rachel Cruz]

By the terms, all the, like, bank stuff and all that stuff.

[Dave Ramsey]

Do what? Yeah, Take him off everything. Yeah. If we're going to be adversarial, then let's get to it. But if we can be kind about this and go, this thing just didn't work and you're going to wander off on your way with a $20,000 check, then we can be kind and easy about this. But either way, he's got to be taken off of everything. Someone leaves Ramsey on good terms or bad terms that day, their FOB no longer works to get in the building. Hello. That's just normal stuff.

[Rachel Cruz]

I don't think they allow me to take them off on the bank stuff.

[Dave Ramsey]

Why not?

[Rachel Cruz]

Turn is, why not not?

[Dave Ramsey]

Of course you can. You've executed the document.

[Caller]

You're saying that he has to be. He has to sign off is what you're saying on the bank stuff.

[Rachel Cruz]

I would assume so. As far as that we've done, since.

[Dave Ramsey]

You have your partnership documents that show that you have removed him and he.

[Caller]

Can take it to the bank.

[Dave Ramsey]

Take those down to the bank and you say, guys, you take him off his account or I'm closing. I'm pulling all the Money out of this account, and I'm going to another bank and open one with the three guys.

[Rachel Cruz]

Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

You're not gonna hold me hostage over here. It's not happening. So you just gotta tactically work through the different details. And, you know, if he's got other stuff that's proprietary, you've got to get it out of his possession, and you've got to shut down his passwords and stuff. Passwords and stuff. So you think. You think this is gonna go sour?

[Rachel Cruz]

Oh, I know it is, because he. He's been spiteful up until now. So a lot of the times it's like, hey, great guy.

[Dave Ramsey]

Spiteful and lazy. Wow. Yeah.

[Rachel Cruz]

Really great. And the problem is, it's like, listen, I'm walking in my third daughter into this life right now. I can't have this guy hanging over my head if he's not going to pull his weight. And I don't want to make it tough because it's not.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's not. I want you to change your pronouns. It's not I, it's we. All three of us are sick of him.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes. No, you're right.

[Dave Ramsey]

We're done, dude. Here's your $20,000 check. And it's how. Here's how it's calculated.

[Caller]

How many conversations have you guys had with him?

[Dave Ramsey]

A lot.

[Rachel Cruz]

This would probably be the fifth one in two years.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

And it's. It's a character issue. The guy's just lazy. He's a lazy hound dog. In the sun, on the front porch, ain't getting up.

[Caller]

But he's. Is he a good. Well, he's spiteful, you said. I don't know. There's a book called Ideal team Player, and he could be. What is it? The. The lovable slacker. There's like, the. The guy.

[Dave Ramsey]

I don't know.

[Caller]

Yeah. He may not be lovable, though. So that may not be him.

[Rachel Cruz]

No, no. You know what it is, is it's also the position that he had. What he has is the fact that it's not really super important to the company. And when asked to grow was when the problem started, like, hey, you have to take on a little bit more responsibility like the rest of us had.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruz]

And he's like, no, I just want to stay in my lane. And the problem is, because of his lack of trying, I feel like it directly correlated to the fact that we, you know, from.

[Dave Ramsey]

Sure.

[Rachel Cruz]

Over. Over a certain amount to less than what we had, you know, so.

[Dave Ramsey]

So if it were me in this.

[Rachel Cruz]

Situation, I was you working 10.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Yeah, you don' to get into who shot anything. Okay. When we let someone go at Ramsey, it's a 10 minute conversation because there's been a bunch of conversations before that. Lots of warnings, lots of discussions. We've talked about the different issues written down and now we're done, documented. And so it's, hey, today's your last day here. I'm sorry this didn't work. We tried everything. You know that we love you and we want you to succeed somewhere else. And, and as of right now, none of your passwords or your computer doesn't work. We'll need to catch your cell phone and your computer. If you want to go to your desk and get your stuff, that's fine. But if you'd rather not do that walk of shame and come back tonight after hours, HR will meet you and you can just go to the car and go home and have the rest of the day and talk to your family and everything, tell them what happened. And it's about a six minute conversation and that's where you, you are.

[Caller]

Yeah, but this guy's an. I mean, it's a partner.

[Dave Ramsey]

I know, but the three of you sit down together in a room in person with the chick in front of you and say, and a document that says that this is our separation. Have your attorney draft a one page separation and he signs that, he gets the check, he turns over his stuff and we're sorry it didn't work. Dude, we thought when we started this it was going to be a good thing and it hadn't worked out. We tried, we talked about, about it and this is the end of it. This is your last day here. Well, I don't care. I mean, I'm going to get a lawyer. I know, but you can do whatever you want to do. But this is your last day here. Well, I'm going to be pissed. I'm sorry, but this is your last day here. Well, I'm sorry. I'm going to cry and I want to start again and let's give me one more chance. I'm sorry, but this is your last day here. The decision has been made. The decision has been made without look.

[Rachel Cruz]

Right. Can we continue working? If you want to get lawyers involved and all that stuff, we can continue on. Sure. We don't have to stop to wait for anything.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, no, no, no, no, no. Wait on anything. You just, you, you go on as if he left the building happy and then you just got this side issue that's going to burn some calories and some money called Defending your position, but it should be an open and shut case based on what you're telling me. I'm not an attorney, but you're telling me the document clearly gives you the right to let this guy go?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes, yes, yes. That. That's how we signed off on it, all four of us.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruz]

So.

[Dave Ramsey]

And there's a clear formula on how the payout is done. And here's another thing. Here's a cool thing. All right, let's say, let's say you run the calculation is $22,422. Okay.

[Rachel Cruz]

Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

Make it 25.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Be generous. Okay. And go. Listen, there's a little bit more on here. And just, just, just because here's the actual calculation, here's what you're due. We're going to put a little mayonnaise on here. On the bun. And this is your last day here.

[Rachel Cruz]

SA.

[Dave Ramsey]

Today's question of the day is brought to you by why Refi? If your private student loans are in default and you feel stuck, you're not out of options. Why Refi specializes in helping borrowers like you find real solutions with low fixed rate financing. Go to y refi.com Ramsey that's the letter y r e f y.com Ramsey not in all states.

[Caller]

Today's question comes from Olivia in North Carolina. She said, my husband is, and I earn close to $500,000 a year with no debt except for our home. The mortgage payment is $2,500 a month. We max out all of our retirement accounts. Kids, college funds are on track. We have expendable money every month that we find ourselves spending on silly purchases. For me, it's purses. For my husband it's electronics. We don't live in a mansion and we can afford all these items, but we do recognize it's a waste of money. And frankly, they can just create clutter. Neither of us are enjoying, enjoy eating out or traveling. And we are very content with our lives. How do we stop wasting money on silly material purchases, even if we can afford them and we're doing all the right things already? That's a great question, Olivia. Yeah, I mean, I think understanding why you're buying these things in the first place, what is it just because you just feel like we just have the money so we're. We need to enjoy and spend it and that's. That's the motivation. Is it because you're bored and you need excitement? Right. So finding that motivation of why you're making the purchases in the first place will help you Determine and set some values around extra money that you have. And I mean, I, I didn't hear any giving in this equation, Olivia. Maybe you guys are, but I would probably up your giving. It's amazing what you could do if you could find, find, you know, people in your lives. A single mom or someone who's working the baby steps and given, you know, a 500 spa gift card to the wife or, you know, giving them gift cards to go out to eat. Like, spend the money in the way of giving while also enjoying it. But I wonder, the fulfillment on that end is so much greater than just buying stuff to buy it. So enjoy some of it. But I would be upping your giving because I think that's going to bring you a longer term level of contentment down, down the road.

[Dave Ramsey]

The word I heard in the whole thing was clutter and. Which meant it's not satisfying. You know, I'm not, I, I do this and then it's not satisfying. There's just regret. It feels like a financial hangover after I do it. So I would pick up our friends Joshua and the gang at the Minimalists. Why don't you start watching some of their videos and, and check out some of their books. They've got a couple of documentaries on Netflix. And the Minimalist, the idea is, is that we don't need as much stuff. And not that stuff is evil, but that just collecting stuff for the sake of collecting stuff is ridiculous. And that's kind of what she's saying in a sense here. So that's one thing I would do. The second thing I would do is you guys need a written budget. You're not living on a budget. And a budget is simply being intentional with every dollar you don't need. A budget is not a chokehold for people that are broke. A budget, you're telling your money what to do. That's all it is. And if you have a line item that has a certain dollar amount in it for these types of purchases, then you don't go over that. And you set that and you go, okay, you can set it high when you start. And you go, well, that's still too much. I don't, I think we're buying too much crap. And then you could lower the amount, but you can set an amount in the cool of the evening when the two of you are sane and you're sitting at the kitchen table. Then when the insanity kicks in later, whatever this weird motivation is that's driving all of this, then you can look down and go, wait a Minute. The calm, logical me told the crazy me not to do this.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

And that's what the budget is. It's telling you what to do when you were. And you told you what to do your future self not to do this.

[Caller]

Yeah. And I think it's a good practice, maybe for you guys. And it sounds kind of extreme, but what if, like, for one month, you said, you know what? We're not gonna. We're not gonna buy. We don't need to buy stuff for one month. Yeah. And no spin month. And just practice it. We did that with our kids this summer because our kids were like, we want this and this. And I have money. I have $2. Can we go to Target? Can we please go to Target so I can spend my $2? And it was just. I mean, they were just like these ankle barter conversations constantly. And I was like, you know what? We're not spending money this summer, you guys. I'm Winston.

[Dave Ramsey]

I did.

[Caller]

But to the kids, you're not spending money. And whatever you have at the end, we'll double it. We'll match you for what you have at the end of the summer, but you're not spending. And it took about, I'm gonna say, six days. Ish. It was a little less than a week. Cause they would ask and ask, and then they stopped asking, and they just were content with what they had. But you kind of have to put in this practice, even as adults. I mean, I do this sometimes to myself where I'm like, I'm just buying Amazon stuff, and I don't need to buy it. I don't need another box of earrings. Right. Like, it just kind of gets to this point even. Even if you can afford it. There's something about practicing that contentment of just kind of just shutting everything off. And not forever, but just to get a baseline back to a level of just, I don't know, that contentment and that steadiness.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Caller]

So maybe that's what you guys. Do something extreme for one month and see what happens.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's fun. I like that. Jalen is in Toledo. Hi, Jaylen. How are you?

[Rachel Cruz]

Hi, Dave. Thank you for taking my call.

[Dave Ramsey]

Sure. What's up?

[Rachel Cruz]

So the reason I'm calling is I'm having a hard time building my savings with a fluctuating income. Income.

[Dave Ramsey]

What's your total income?

[Rachel Cruz]

So I've got two separate. I've got a primary and a secondary source of income. So I'm a. Actually a 100% PNP disabled veteran, so I get about 48.5k a year, non taxable. And then my secondary income is I'm a live streamer on a live streaming platform, and I bring roughly about $2,000 a month from that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, all right.

[Caller]

It's about 6,000amonth. Ish.

[Rachel Cruz]

You're bringing in just about there. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so what's irregular? Just the variation in the 2000.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes, the variation in the. In the 2000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. So what's your zero on that?

[Rachel Cruz]

I'm sorry?

[Dave Ramsey]

You ever have a zero month on that?

[Rachel Cruz]

A zero month? What do you mean by that?

[Dave Ramsey]

On the streaming. Do you ever have a month? You make zero?

[Rachel Cruz]

Oh, no, Absolutely not.

[Dave Ramsey]

So what's your worst month? Streaming.

[Rachel Cruz]

My worst month streaming this month is actually. I can pull that up for you. My worst month streaming was 2000. No, sorry. $1,885. The most I made was 7200.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. All right. And the average is 2000?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes, sir.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow. So that 7200 was a mammoth month.

[Rachel Cruz]

It was for my birthday, so I did like a special event for my birthday, and I don't have that money anymore. I got married about a little over a month ago. So all that money went towards the service and everything.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, congratulations. What does she make?

[Rachel Cruz]

Thank you. She makes about 30k a year. She's a data analyst.

[Caller]

Okay, so your household budget is around 9,000, or you guys are bringing in on average 9,000. Do you know how much your monthly expenses are to run the house, household entirely? Insurances, rent, mortgage, electricity, water, clothes, everything. Do you know?

[Rachel Cruz]

I know a few of those. So my mortgage just recently got lowered.

[Dave Ramsey]

From just what it takes to operate.

[Caller]

To run your household. How much would it cost a month?

[Dave Ramsey]

The whole thing?

[Rachel Cruz]

Probably around maybe 2500, I'd say.

[Caller]

Okay, so your number one problem, Jalen, is you don't know what your expenses are. So. So that's what I would do. I would do a very, very detailed budget tonight with your newlywed wife. It's me. Very romantic and very wonderful. Sit down. You're going to do a budget and you guys are going to look at the line. I'm. We'll give you every dollar premium and it connects to your bank. But you guys sit down with that app and fill it out. And if there's categories in there that are. That are part of your life that is not in the everydollar app, add them. There's areas that you can can add, go through, do a very detailed budget, and you need that total of how much it's going to cost. So let's say it costs $3,000 a month to run your household. Well, then that's great. That means, you know, you guys have $6,000 of margin, which is amazing. So there's some savings. I mean, that would be incredible.

[Dave Ramsey]

So your premise that you're having a hard time budgeting because you have a fluctuating income is false. And the reason it's false is a very small percentage of your income is actually fluctuation, fluctuating, like almost none of it. Okay. And so because you've got her 2500, you got your disability, and then you've got a baseline of probably close to 2,000 on the streaming. That's every month. And so the only volatility is what above 2000 that you're going to make and what to do with that. That's your only volatility. And that's not keeping you from laying out a plan like Rachel's saying. So you've got to sit down and do the discipline, discipline of spending your money on paper, on the app before the month begins. And when you give every dollar an assignment before the month begins, as Rachel said, then if you get a windfall and you have a, you have a $6,000 month instead of a $2,000 month, you quickly will know what to do with that other 4,000 because you'll have already laid out a game plan for everything else. And it's easy to make your adjustments on the fly on the minor amount of your income that is actually fluctuating.

[George Camel]

What's up, guys? George Camel here. If you've been thinking about making a real difference in your community, this is your moment. People are drowning in money stress right now and you can be the one who helps them by leading a Financial Peace University class. It's totally free for you and we hook you up with all the tools and support you need. So if you're ready to help people ditch debt, save money, and actually sleep at night, go to fpu.comlead to learn more. That's fpu.com lead.

[Dave Ramsey]

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Thanks for joining us, America. Rachel Cruze Ramsey, personality number one best selling authority, host of the Rachel Cruze show, and my daughter is my co host today. Open phones at 888 825-5225. Jessica is in Illinois. Hi Jessica, how are you?

[Caller]

I'm good. How are you guys?

[Dave Ramsey]

Better than I deserve. What's up?

[Caller]

Well, I was just calling, I guess, with a question. So my husband passed away unexpectedly earlier this year. We're both in our upper 30s.

I'm sure it was very unexpected.

[Dave Ramsey]

What happened?

[Caller]

He had a heart attack.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow. In his 30s?

[Caller]

In his 30s.

[Dave Ramsey]

How long y' all been married?

[Caller]

We've been married just shy of two years when he passed.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, my. I'm so sorry.

[Caller]

Thank you. So I guess I'm just calling with. I guess looking for advice, looking, you know, morally just to see if the angle that I'm looking at is the right angle. We had talked about previous to getting married or engaged after getting married in regards to changing our beneficiary on everything. We were very set, I guess, intellectually, like with. On our morals and values and what we wanted in life, our future goals. We are in the process of building a home that actually we just got the occupancy approval yesterday. I have a daughter of my own as well, prior to our marriage. But I guess what I'm looking for is when we had discussed life insurance and beneficiaries, we both agreed that we would update with everything that we had going on. We were trying to have children of our own, like I said, building a home. And then we both had conversations after marriage to I guess, confirm that this had been done. And I recently found out in going through my husband's estate that his life insurance policy, he. He has a term life and then a supplemental. And I found out his sister was the beneficiary on the term life still. So that had not been switched over as we had discussed. So I am only getting half of the life insurance. So now having to finagle his estate, all the debt. So he did have assets prior to us being married that I am now the heir of his estate. So I take on all debts, including any credit card debt.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, no, no, no. That's not true. Only if you want the assets. Only if you want the assets, right?

[Caller]

Yeah, only if I want the assets.

[Dave Ramsey]

So how much in assets did he have?

[Caller]

Sure. So he had about $155,000 worth. The assets of what's owed on the assets.

[Dave Ramsey]

I should say that's the debt he had. So what is it, like a rental property or something or what?

[Caller]

Nope. So he had a decent size plot of land and then a building on the land. And then we also built our home on that land. Land. Okay, well, which. The home is in my name and his, but everything else is just in his name.

[Dave Ramsey]

So the. The land, the House is on a different plat than the rest of the land.

[Caller]

Separated the parcels.

[Dave Ramsey]

Got it. Okay. So the land, the rest of the land that the house is not on was in his name. And it is worth what?

[Caller]

I'd say the land and the shop are probably worth between 250 and 300,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. And there's 155 owed on it.

[Caller]

There's a little under 100 owed on just the land.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, and then there's a separate asset. Okay.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you are correct. The land, the equity in the land stands good for his debt. You do not take on the debt unless you want to keep the land. Yes. And so. And that's what you're saying. You want to keep the land, so you're willing to take on the debt, but you don't get the debt automatically when someone dies. What they own stands good for what they owe. Assets minus liabilities. Okay.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

And so let's pretend for everybody listening that he had assets of 30,000 and debts of 100,000. You would turn the assets loose. You're not going to take on these debts because you don't inherit debt in the United States.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. You follow the difference. So in other words, you're willing, and I think you're wise. You're willing, if you're able financially to accept the 155,000 to get the 300. It's adjacent to your new house, you know, so all of that. Okay. Now then, you're leading all to another question. So how can we help?

[Caller]

Well, I guess I was just leading more or less to give a little context in regards. You know, my husband and I have been together for five years in total. Total. Our families, both very close. I made it in with his family immediately. They. I fell in love with them. They fell in love with me and vice versa for my husband, with my family. They know.

[Dave Ramsey]

What's your question?

[Caller]

Loved him. So my question is with my sister and he, for whatever reason, didn't change his life insurance policy over like we had discussed. And now I'm only receiving half, which is not enough to pay for our home.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Caller]

So now I'm being forced to sell our home. I guess so my question is, is just looking for advice morally, you know, I. I need to have conversations with her on how this has made me feel. It's emotionally draining. I'm going through probate. I.

You feel like she should give you the money?

I.

Right.

As it sounds selfish, but it's a life insurance policy. The purpose of it is so that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, but your husband, Your husband didn't change the beneficiary. So it's not your sister in law fault. She didn't do anything wrong and she does not have a moral obligation to do this. He had a moral obligation to fix it before he died. But she does not have a moral obligation to give you this money. And it's not yours. You don't have any rights to it morally, ethically, certainly not legally. If she wanted to give it to you because it was the intent, then that would be a kind thing to do. But she's not obligated to. And I don't think you have a right to be mad at her. And if she doesn't.

[Caller]

No, and I understand that. I'm. I guess I was just looking to see an outside perspective.

Yeah, I mean, I hear you, Jessica. That sucks that you know, you. Your husband's life insurance is going to his sister and you're like, oh my gosh, but we have a life here. I mean that, that's not fun.

[Dave Ramsey]

I want to cry with you, but I'm kind of mad at your dead husband. Okay.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

You know, because he should have done this, you know, and, and you are too, really, if you admit it. But I'm sorry, I mean, but it's just that because it left you in a lurch, so now you're going to have to sell the whole K. Have.

[Caller]

You talked to the sister? I'm just curious if you've had any level of conversation of like the obvious.

I don't know, we've had conversations in regards to it because like I said, I was completely shocked by.

[Dave Ramsey]

What did she say?

[Caller]

Well, she had asked for a death certificate and I was kind of shocked by it. And I had asked what do you need it for? And she just said some time sensitive paperwork. And so then I got gave the death certificate and then I just, I said can I just ask what it's like, what you. You would need it for? I guess. And she's just like, well, life insurance. I was a beneficiary. And I was like, well, I knew you were prior to marriage, but once we got married, Drew told me that he had changed it. So I said can you just call to verify with his insurance company if you have a claim number and just verify that you are for sure before you go and send in for this and it gets paid out and you're really not. Because based, like I said, based off my conversations with my husband and she said changed everything.

And what she. And what did she say?

She just said I'm sorry. I don't know what to say.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, you're not getting this money, hun. So I'm so sorry. You're going to at least sell the piece of land. You may be selling both things and restarting your life with what you have because you've been through a tragedy and a horrible situation.

[Caller]

So sorry.

[Dave Ramsey]

And the paperwork wasn't done properly. Gosh, I'm so sorry. You spend hours researching before making a major purchase like a home or car. But it's also a good idea to put in the work searching for the right insurance coverage coverage to protect your biggest assets. I recommend using Ramsey trusted pros. Whether you're looking for car, home or any other type of insurance, Ramsey trusted providers have been coached and vetted to serve you like we would find what you [e-mail] insurance. Are you staying on track with your baby steps? You can take a quick quiz to check your progress and receive a personalized plan just for you. That's why we call it personalized. Simply head to the show notes, click the link titled are you on track with the baby steps? And complete the free quiz that I mentioned. It's free. All right. Atlanta is calling. Karina. Hi, Karina, how are you?

[Caller]

Hello.

[Rachel Cruz]

Good.

[Caller]

How are you?

[Dave Ramsey]

Better than I deserve. What's up?

[Caller]

Yes, sir, I wanted some advice on what to do or I have two teenagers, I have a 16 year old boy and a 19 year old and in regards to purchasing their own vehicle, I've heard you say before that you would have them save and you would match but because we obviously were not very good with our money because. And I wanted to know if, if it's okay, we're in baby step three now. If it's okay to help them purchase a vehicle even though they're not going to put as much down or as much towards the vehicle or is there any other way that they can have their skin in the game if we're able to purchase like a $3,000 car for them?

Well, do they have any money saved?

No. Okay. No, they do have. They just started a job this week but it's part time because they have school.

Sure. Yeah.

But no, they do not.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, you're on baby step three which means you worked your way out of debt and then you just asked me a question about putting your teenagers into debt that's inconsistent.

[Caller]

I don't, I don't want to put the.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, you said I'm not down. Down. You said down.

[Caller]

I did, but there's no down.

[Dave Ramsey]

Unless there's alone.

[Caller]

She didn't mean alone though, did you?

Correct.

No, Yeah, I think she just meant them. Them contributing money.

Thousand dollars car.

What? Them contributing money. That's what she meant.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Okay.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes.

[Caller]

What?

You misunderstood.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, I didn't. Okay, did say down. But. All right. The. All right, so what's your household income, hun?

[Caller]

We're at 135.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. All right. And so give me a scenario under which the 19 year old would buy a car and how you would participate and how they would participate. Tell me what that might look like.

[Caller]

Yes, sir. So I was. What we had spoken about is that like the example you give, that they would save up like 2,000 and we would do the 2,000 and then find a $4,000 car.

[Dave Ramsey]

Right.

[Caller]

But right now, because they need their vehicle to move around and we do have another vehicle in the household. I just don't know if like gifting it to them and then find another way how they can.

No. So they. So you have three cars. You have three cars, right?

I. We have two cars.

Two cars. What's the extra?

[Dave Ramsey]

You don't have a vehicle for the teenagers, you have a car, Your husband has a car.

[Caller]

My husband drives a company vehicle, so. And then I have, I use one to go to work and then they're using the other one.

So then they can share that. You don't have to give it to.

[Dave Ramsey]

Them, but they can just share the use of it. It's your car.

[Caller]

And then save up the money. And then when they have money safe.

[Dave Ramsey]

They want their own car, they need to save some money and go get one. Okay, but they can use yours. They can use your old car until they do.

[Caller]

Okay. Yeah, that makes sense.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's all you need to do. At 16 and 19, it's too late to start any kind of a matching program. I would just tell them, kids, y' all can use this as long as you're living here, but when you get ready to go out on your own, you're gonna need a car. So you need to start saving for a car. And if you want to not drive this car, you need to start saving for a car. And there will be no car payments while you live under my roof. Yeah.

[Caller]

Hey.

Yes. They understand that. Yeah.

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, I just want to tell them again.

[Caller]

Yeah, okay. So Karina, I, I would be okay with you still doing the matching program, you know, I mean, not until they're like 26 or something, but while they're still living in your home, if they work, if they're working and sharing that car and they save their own $2,000. And you and your husband have that to spare and you guys want to still match that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, that's okay if you want to do that, if you want to do that. But there's just not a lot of time. And so really if a 19 year old does this and they, and they're living at home, they got no overhead, they got no rent, they got no food problem, then all they got to do is go make a big pile of money and stack cash. So get your butt to work.

[Caller]

Yes, sir.

[Dave Ramsey]

You know, and you know he can make a, he can make enough by Christmas to buy a car. Hello.

[Caller]

Yes, sir. That's our plan. That's our goal because we didn't have a conversation. I just didn't know because they were like older.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, if you want to help them a little bit that like Rachel said, it's some match, that's okay. But yeah, some level of match is fine. But the good news is I'm really helping you. You get to use this car for free. You get to live here for free. So you got no use for money except stacking it to buy a car. So stack it, don't spend it and go get you a car by Christmas. And you know, go, you know, hey, try, you're 19, try working 40 hours a week. Let's see if we can't have four or $5,000 buy Christmas. You should be able to, you don't have any expenses. So that's. But if you want to put two more with it and help them get a seven, great, that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. But you're right, the inconsistency with our story is that we started that when our kids were really young, that discussion. And so that matching thing has a whole different set of lessons to it that you don't get the benefit of the lessons here because it's just a short term. The lesson here is work hard, stay, buy something with cash. That's the lesson. And it's going to be a very short microwavable thing rather than a crock pot thing. And that's the process. But yeah, and just you know, because the culture and all of their friends are telling them to go get a car payment. Don't be afraid to repeat yourself a lot. That we don't do car payments for people that live in this house because.

[Caller]

A 16 year old could get a car payment on their own.

[Dave Ramsey]

I. Let's just. Everybody needs to thoroughly understand what we do here. And 16 year olds oftentimes don't hear something the first time you say it.

[Caller]

She said down early on. And you have attached. Attached.

[Dave Ramsey]

I am just saying be real careful here. I don't want anybody making assumptions. This is how this works. And this is how it doesn't work. So that's the whole thing. That's what we're doing. All right. Mark's in Virginia. Hey, Mark. Mark. What's up?

[Rachel Cruz]

Hey. Getting ready to retire.

[Dave Ramsey]

Cool.

[Rachel Cruz]

And trying to figure out how to go from a saver mentality to a spender mentality.

[Dave Ramsey]

What's your net worth?

[Rachel Cruz]

Seven or eight, Something like that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Seven or eight dollars?

[Rachel Cruz]

Million.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, good. I was hoping.

[Caller]

Dave likes to hear that word.

[Dave Ramsey]

I was hoping. Good. Way to go, Mark.

[Caller]

Well done, Mark.

[Dave Ramsey]

Congratulations. Congratulations.

[Rachel Cruz]

We did good.

[Dave Ramsey]

So Sharon and I, most people who do what you've done, you've probably started from nothing and you've worked your tail end off and you've saved like a maniac. And that's how you got here. Congratulations. You're a success. You're a stud. Well done. But now what you've got to do is, as you said, you need to learn to enjoy money more than maybe you ever have. And you've got plenty of margin to do that. Because if your mutual funds are earning 12% percent, 11%, and you pull 10, you got 700,000 a year to do something with without touching the nest egg. Okay. If it all made. If your portfolio averaged 10% on 7 million. You follow me? So you got a 5, $600,700,000 income off of your investments without messing up your investments. So Sharon and I have done two things to learn to develop, to get past the emotional part of spending money. Because it feels weird when you spend money. Been working so hard saving money, which is your question. So two things we did. One is we increase our generosity. We're very intentional and look people in the eye. Like crazy tips. Crazy. Catch somebody doing something. Right. Just walk up and buy. Put a set of tires on somebody's car that you're looking at them and they look like they need some help at the gas station. And let's go over there. The discount tire. I'm going to spend $1,000. Put tires on your car and just start doing some weird stuff like that. Just pop. Pocket money. Random.

[Rachel Cruz]

I have been doing that and it feels really good.

[Dave Ramsey]

It does. I'll tell you what the interesting thing is. It's the same muscle. Generosity is the same muscle as a spending muscle.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

It loosens up the spending muscle if you're generous because it's the same thing because you're letting go of money in both cases where with saving you're holding on to money. Both of these are learning to hold with an open hand. The second thing we've learned to do is we just have the burn the money in the middle of the floor floor question if we're gonna if you buy something for $70,000 and you burnt that money in the middle of the floor, would it change your life? Not a nickel. Nothing would change. So if you go buy a $70,000 antique car that you've always wanted, whoopty doopty doesn't change anything. Now if you go spend 800,000, you could, you could put a dent in this thing. That'd be a problem.

[George Camel]

Does having more money and less stress sound nice but feel impossible? Well, in my brand new book, Breaking Free From Broke, I share my story of going from broke to millionaire and exactly how I did it. You'll learn about the money traps and cultural lies out there designed to keep you brainwashed and stressed out from credit card schemes to mortgage myths to investing traps. So if you're not where you want to be financially, I can help you finally get ahead. You can get Breaking Free from broke [e-mail] store. That's ramseysolutions.com store.

[Dave Ramsey]

The money and marriage getaway here on the Ramsey campus is a hugely popular event. It sells out every time we do it. Dr. John DeLoney and Rachel Cruz here with me are the hosts. And it's a weekend long event at our Ramsey Event center here on our campus. And it is incredible. It's life changing. They get into the details. I can tell you that tickets start at 7:49 a couple. The next one is in November and then we're doing one in February around Valentine's Day, February 12 through 14. So you can get your tickets for the lowest price before the [e-mail] getaway or click the link in the show notes. And Rachel, this thing is with you and John doing it to start with. People need to know that's like stand up comedy, comedy. It's going to be really funny and there's a lot of awkward stuff that makes it really easy to be funny. So.

[Caller]

Well, we do dive into the two topics. Yeah. In a lot of depth. I talk obviously about the money side and how do you do this as a couple? What does that look like? Because there's so many different angles and approaches and topics around that and then John dives into the marriage portion. And so it is. Yeah, it's a really fun weekend and it's a very impactful weekend because we want you to. To come and leave not just overwhelmed with, oh gosh, I have so many things to do, but really a plan and an awareness in your marriage that you may have not have had. So that's our hope for you.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, some inspiration to do something even bigger and better. Yeah, it's very cool. The money and marriage weekend again. November and February. They sell out every time. And so if you want your tickets, jump in there right now and get them done. Andrew's in Florida. Hi, Andrew. Welcome to the show.

[Rachel Cruz]

How are you?

[Dave Ramsey]

Better than I deserve. How can I help?

[Rachel Cruz]

So I have a. I got a truck paint. I'm 21. I got a truck. I financed 25,000 with a 23.8% interest. I know I'm done for that.

[Dave Ramsey]

God.

[Rachel Cruz]

And I owe 21,086 on it right now. And I paid on it for two years and I can't refinance it because at the time of I got the first. The truck loan. I had a car loan out and that car got totaled and Gap didn't pay for it. Also I paid it out. I have a letter from the finance company saying it's a paid off but they put a repo on my credit and they won't take it off. And I'm like $10,000 upside down on my truck. I don't know how to get out of it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Who said the truck's worth 12 the dealerships and kill. Well, dealerships buy it wholesale, honey. So you looked at Kelly blue book for what you can private sale it or what?

[Rachel Cruz]

A wholesale is private sale. I have a posted right now for 15,000 and I was just gonna use. Use money, use my own money. You got some money to pay off the rest? No, not really. My fiance does. She's gonna help me out.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, you don't. You don't take money from somebody you're not married to, honey. It's another bad plan. You're going from one bad idea to another.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes, sir.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you don't have any money you personally. Okay.

[Caller]

Do you work, Andrew?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes. So I'm a electrician. Apprentice. But I just broke my foot. So I'm waiting on that to heal before I can go back. I'm in a real test spot.

[Caller]

How much. How much do you make a year when you're working full time?

[Rachel Cruz]

In between, I'm gonna say 30 to 50,000 a year. It depends on the job and where I at with.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. When will you be back to work?

[Rachel Cruz]

I'm not sure. I gotta see. I got a dog's appointment tomorrow to go over my X rays.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. And how long ago did you break it?

[Rachel Cruz]

About a month ago.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so you'll be back pretty quick. Unless she was really you in a.

[Caller]

Boot or like a scooter thing.

[Rachel Cruz]

I'm in an aircast boot. So. Yeah, this. Construction sites don't like you on the job site.

[Caller]

Okay. And when are you guys getting married?

[Rachel Cruz]

We were hoping for December, but we might have to postpone.

[Caller]

Why?

[Rachel Cruz]

Financial reasons. And just some stuff between us. We want to be ready.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Caller]

Well, I would not take money from her until you guys are officially married. And so it would be you doing this all on your own. And have you gotten any. Any interest with it listed at 15?

[Rachel Cruz]

No, not really.

[Caller]

Okay. Yeah, I mean, that. That's going to be your best bet and to be saving up some money, because you're right. I mean, I doubt you'll be able to get a loan for the difference. That's usually what we say when it's upside down. But with your credit and having a repo, it may be tough to get a small loan, but that would be.

[Dave Ramsey]

What can you do right now while your foot's in the boat to make some money?

[Rachel Cruz]

I. I know a guy, he owns his own company and he's starting another branch doing RV repair, but it's still very new. So he's just paying me, I think, $16 an hour to watch YouTube videos, to learn, so I have some type of income, but it's not. It's not everything I need right now.

[Dave Ramsey]

Why is he paying you to learn to work on RVs if you intend to go back to being an electrician?

[Rachel Cruz]

Because he's really trying to just help me out. He. We go to church together and he sees I'm going to tell Spot, so. And I. I just like learning everything I can.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. And how many hours a week are you getting paid to do this right now?

[Rachel Cruz]

Right around 40.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow. Okay.

[Caller]

That's a bright spot.

[Dave Ramsey]

And yeah, he's a. He's a very generous man. Okay. Yes, sir, he is being very kind to you. Yeah. So what I'm gonna do if I'm in your shoes is exactly what Rachel said. If we can't solve the issues that are keeping you from getting married and advance the marriage date. I would not wait to get married based on financial problems. I would wait to get married if there's Other problems. And you mentioned two things. But you don't need to save up and have a wedding. You're two broke children, you don't have any money. You're 21, you got no money. So you don't need. Need to wait two years and save up $20,000 to have a wedding. Just go get married for goodness sakes. People do that all the time. And 40 years later they tell the story. And so you know that. But if you've got. If there are relational issues that you need to solve, then do solve those. I'm not telling you rush into something that doesn't look good. But if you go get married, then that solves the problem because you've got the money then to cover this. And I wouldn't marry her just for that reason. But don't take money from somebody you're not married to. It's going to put a strain on a relationship. And if there's already problems, it's going to make it worse because the borrower is slave to the lender. Even your girlfriend every time. That's the way that works. 100% chance that it changes the relationship when you borrow money from somebody every time. So don't borrow money now. If the relational issues are made minor and you're waiting on some kind of weird financial thing, put that to the side, go ahead and get married. If the relation issues are a reason to wait, then Rachel's right. I would tell you to wait. If that is not the case, then what you've got to do is do nothing but work all the time until you get enough money to get out of this ridiculous truck deal. 25% interest and $25,000 for a 21 year old. Whoever sold you that should be beat with a stick. That's just immoral. It's just thievery. They just completely saw you coming and screwed you. But we can't do anything about it now except learn our lesson. And never go back on the property where you bought that truck the rest of your life. Those are not good people. Get away from them. Stay away from them. And then let's get this stinking thing paid down and get it is sold. Get you a $3,000 truck and get your life back. Because this thing owns you right now. Man, I'm sorry. I've been trapped. I've felt that way. That's why I'm kind of angry right now for you. Because I know how you feel and you can get there. But that's our guidelines. Get you some money and get out of this truck and. Or get married and get out of this truck. But the moral of the story is, get out of this truck. Get this thing sold.

[Caller]

Yeah. And I mean, on some years, this is costing half of his annual income. I mean, it's. Yep.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, it's just a.

[Caller]

It's just no more than that. I mean, if he's making 30 some years. Yeah. So you feel it, though, Andrew. And it's a good lesson. I mean, learn.

[Dave Ramsey]

The good news is you never have to do it again the rest of your whole life. This is one lesson you have learned. And so with me, I do stupid stuff all the time, but my goal is just to not do the same stupid stuff stuff. And so if you've got a whole list of stupid things that you never do again, people start calling you wise and that. That. This one's on. This is. This is on your list. This is. Look at what I did when I was 21. I did this stupid thing, and I'll never do it again. And you got the whole rest of your life to live with that lesson and be smart and. And not let somebody ever tattoo you again on a car deal. Oh, my gosh. Sa our scripture of the day, Deuteronomy 7:9. Know, therefore, that the Lord your God is God. He is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his command commandments. Ronald Reagan said, I've wondered at times about what the Ten Commandments would look like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.

[Caller]

Oh, my gosh.

[Dave Ramsey]

Reagan. Oh, man. Jake is in Washington, D.C. hi, Jake. What's up?

[Rachel Cruz]

Hey, how's it going? Ramsey crew, how's it going today?

[Dave Ramsey]

Better than we deserve, sir. How can we help?

[Rachel Cruz]

Hey, so I'm getting married in 18 days. And me and my fiance, we're in an incredibly blessed situation, and we're wondering what to do with all of our inherited money that we have and, you know, how to be responsible with it and how to, you know, just give back to the community and make a positive impact on the world.

[Dave Ramsey]

So phenomenal. So who's inheriting money, you or her?

[Rachel Cruz]

We've both already inherited it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, okay. How much did she inherit?

[Rachel Cruz]

She inherited close to 4.4.5 million, and I inherited close to 300,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh. A little different. Okay, cool.

[Caller]

Wow. Where did hers come from?

[Rachel Cruz]

Hers came from. Hers came from her grand. Both of ours actually came from our grandparents. They just worked extremely hard and made sure to stash away a lot of money. A lot of it's. In trust and in the stock market. So yeah, that's how they passed it over to us.

[Caller]

Wow.

[Dave Ramsey]

How old are you two?

[Rachel Cruz]

We're both 27.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, cool. What do you do for a living?

[Rachel Cruz]

I work as a technology consultant for Big four.

[Dave Ramsey]

What about her?

[Rachel Cruz]

And she's a lobbyist in DC.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. First thing I would do is establish a sustainable life on your income without touching the money.

[Rachel Cruz]

Hundred percent.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. That you don't need this money to live on and don't become dependent upon it. That makes you a trust fund baby. And you're not that. Okay. You're both, you're both gainfully employed, you have great careers, you're obviously professionals. Congratulations. And all of that happened out of your grandparents inheritance as well. You inherited their character, their work ethic, their smarts and all of those things, not counting their money. And so let's honor that by creating a sustainable life where the two of you build wealth independent of this 4.3 in this 300k. That's thing one. Thing two is you need to lay out a very clear detailed itinerary or schedule of what we're going to do with this money and both of you be in agreement with it. Because where people mess up is when they. And if you spend it in your head or you invest it in your head, you'll end up doing about $8 million worth and you've only got 4 million. So if you lay it out line by line by line by line and there are only three buckets that these lines can land in the spending bucket, which is okay to spend some wisely and carefully. The investing bucket obviously wisely and carefully and slowly and the generosity bucket you mentioned giving to the community. Okay? And so I'm going to allocate portions of this $4.6 million to those three buckets and say okay, we are, we are going to live on this income but we are going to use 300,000 or 800,000 of it to buy a house or something like that. But we're going to live on our income. Pay cash for a house at 27 years old, that's a good investment or whatever the number is. But it doesn't need to be a four million dollar house. That doesn't make sense in your situation. But we're going to lay down, this is how much we're going to put on this, this is how much we're going to put on, this is how much we're going to give and we're going to do an annualized giving of this off of the income that this money creates. And then we're going to look at the investments that are currently there that you said the money's invested in trust in the stock market in some way or another. I want to learn about that. I want to know what it's in. And you need to make clear, careful decisions about what the money is sitting in. If it's in a bunch of single stocks, that scares me. We're not moving it to freaking Bitcoin, okay? We're going to be boring. Your grandparents were boring and steady. And it worked. And it worked. So follow their lead. And then the last thing, the third guideline I'll give you. So guideline one is create sustainable life without the money. Guideline two is lay everything out line by line in those three buckets. Generosity, spending or enjoying money, whatever we want to call that, and investing money, line item. Then the third thing to write, remember, is that you don't put money in stuff you don't understand. So you don't invest because your friends said to. We're not trying to get rich quick. We're trying to be the tortoise, not the hare. That's what grandpa did. And a good way to remember any of the stuff, the generosity, the investing or anything is ask yourself, if I do this with this money, is grandpa in heaven smiling? Am I honoring his legacy? Am I honoring the man or the woman that they that made this money by doing this? And if you would go, my grandpa would kill me if he knew I was doing this. Well, he does know you're doing it. So be, you know, beware, right? And so, you know, let's just, let's just be the guy that is honoring to this. Because the opposite of that is somebody that goes crazy and acts like they won the lottery and you're not that guy. I can already tell by talking to you, that guy doesn't even call the show and ask this question.

[Caller]

Yeah, yeah, Jake, I mean, like, yeah, I think totally agree with everything you said. And I think that the detailed plan is super helpful because it does take ideas and numbers that can kind of get foggy. And there's obvious ways that we're going to handle this. And it's written plain as day right there. And you know, know to another element, I'm like, this is so fun that you and your wife get to set up a legacy that you guys then get to build upon your lives, which then can be passed down to your kids.

[Dave Ramsey]

You understand your grandkids are going to get 400 million because of this?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, 100%.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's the way this money works. If you don't blow this, it's. I mean, your old man Van or your grandpa was old man Vanderbilt, and you're like the second or third gen. I mean, this is. This is a huge mathematical opportunity. Opportunity.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah. No, I appreciate all the advice. I think. I think both of us are feeling the responsibility of this all, and we listen to you guys a lot. And I think something that resonates with us a lot is just. Is going slow with it and learning along the way. Like, there's no reason for us to make a huge purchase right now. We don't need to add that extra pressure. We can be methodical about it. We can be practical about it. And as life starts to evolve and change and after the wedding, we can make a decision. And it's good to have options. It's a positive thing. But it does add stress. And I think that's why I just wanted to call you guys and just that reassurance that we can do this.

[Dave Ramsey]

Let me tell you, the fact that you're feeling the weight of this means you're wise. That's a wise position to be in. That means you actually understand that wealth is a responsibility. It is not a celebration. It's not a thing that says, oh, I get to do anything I want to do now, that's childish. But when you say this is a responsibility to future generations, this is a responsibility to generosity of the community. This is a responsibility that we do this in a way that we honor Grandpa's legacy. This is a responsibility. You feel that weight. It doesn't have to be stressful, but that. Just the sense of. Of that, that's the positioning of that in your spirit, really, that says a lot about you. It says you're very, very mature. Congratulations. I'm very proud. Your grandpa's proud of you. I can promise you. I can promise you. We're proud of you.

[Caller]

Yeah. And there's something, too, that it doesn't take the dignity of you all away because of setting up your life as just you guys almost pretending like you don't have it for a second as you're like, okay, here's. Here's our life. Here's what we make. We're going to live within our means. And. And there's something in that that also gives you that. That dignity piece that it's not just completely stripped. Because I think that's the other thing is it can feel so. You can feel so numb. If you get this money and you're just like, oh, we're going to just travel the world and spend it forever and ever. Amen. And that's all we're going to do. There's something about having purpose specifically for you in your own story. And same with your wife. Of purpose. Having purpose. And you guys make that.

[Dave Ramsey]

There's dignity in that. That's the right word. You picked the right word. I agree. That puts us out of the Ramsey show in the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus, Sam.