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Dave Ramsey
Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. Normal is broke and common sense is weird. So we're here to help you with your life. From the Ramsey Network and the Fair Winds Credit Union studio, this is the Ramsey Show. I'm Dave Ramsey. Your host, Ken Coleman, number one best selling author, Ramsey personality and host of Front Row Seat, one of our more popular Ramsey Network shows. He's my co host today. Open phones here at Triple 882-55-5225. Jack is in Little Rock, Arkansas. Hi Jack, how are you doing?
Caller
Well, thank you Dave and Ken. Thanks for taking the call.
Dave Ramsey
Sure. What's up?
Caller
Yeah, so basically my grandfather had passed away about five years ago and he had left a trust to his three children. And basically the way it had been set up is that after my father passed away, I would receive a lump sum. Each of those, each sibling got a lump sum payment from that trust. However, for my dad, he has been historically been bad with money and it was set up for him that he would receive payments annually in the trust and then once he passes away, I would receive the lump sum. And after, after this, he is basically saying that he wants to have me sign a document that releases the trust to him and he plans to spend the money. And he's threatening me by bribing, bribing me with $5,000 up front.
Dave Ramsey
$5,000? How much is in the trust?
Caller
From what I understand, whenever my grandfather was still around, I believe his portion is between 250 and 300,000.
Dave Ramsey
So you're going to trade, he's asking you to trade $300,000 for 5,000 bucks.
Caller
From what it seems he has said that he wants to take that lump sum and he wants to renovate his house. Because he is 63 years old, he works as a lawyer and he wants to renovate his house. He wants to buy a new car and he claims that I will have the rest of the money. However, with his historic run of dealing with finances, I don't believe that there will be any money left.
Ken Coleman
Hey, Jack. Hey, Jack, quick question. You've used two words with us. You said threatened and bribe. What does that actually look like? I haven't heard any evidence of that.
Caller
I would say it's definitely more so bribing him. Just throwing out. One time he said, the first time he said, I'll get you $10,000. Then the second time we had talked about it, he said that he would give me $5,000 up front.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, so what kind of, I mean, I'm Sorry, it's just the math is not mathing. I mean, he's so illogical that he actually believes you would trade 5,000 for 250. That's just bizarre to me.
Caller
I totally agree.
Dave Ramsey
Planet. Does he live on that he thinks you would do that?
Caller
I don't know.
Dave Ramsey
I don't either. Okay, so you're using words like bullied and bribed with your own father. Irresponsible about your own father. Your grandfather thought he was irresponsible. So you're not going to do this. You had already decided that before you called, right?
Caller
Yes.
Dave Ramsey
Okay.
Caller
Yes.
Dave Ramsey
So how can we help?
Caller
Yes, I really just want to know how to navigate that conversation with my father because.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, you want to know something that's impossible? It's impossible for you to take a man that is this unreasonable and make him reasonable with one conversation. That's not possible. Okay, so this unreasonable man is going to have an unreasonable reaction to your reasonable no. There's no way you can frame a no that this guy's gonna like it and he's gonna go, oh, thank you, son. I just love you so much. I'm so proud of you. That's what you wish would happen. There's no conversation that does that because of what you're dealing with on the other side of this. You know, it's like petting a crocodile and going, nice crocodile, nice crocodile. And hoping you don't get your arm bit off. Of course you're gonna get your arm bit off. It's a crocodile. So you know, that's what we're dealing with. So I wish I could make this. Make you have a good dad, but you don't. And so what I can do is just give you the real. The real realistic expectation, which is you preserve your dignity, your courage, your kindness, your integrity. That's the only thing you have control over. You don't have control over his reaction. So you gently and kindly say, dad, Grandpa, put this in place. And I'm just gonna abide by Grandpa's wishes. Thanks for asking. I'm sorry, it doesn't work for me. And we're just gonna leave the thing. Let's set up like it is. But thanks for asking. I hope you can find another way to get your house renovated and get you a car, since you're a lawyer and all, but. And I'll. Because I love you. And he's still going to go bonkers, isn't he?
Caller
Yes.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. So 100% be expecting that anything less than bonkers, we'll call it Gravy on the biscuit. We'll call it a bonus, but I'm counting on bonkers.
Ken Coleman
Yeah. Jack, I don't know if you've ever had surgery before, but I would say that your mindset here has got to be the same as going into surgery that you have to have. It's not fun, it's going to hurt, it's going to be some recovery time, but it absolutely has to happen. And on the other side of the surgery, you're going to be better off.
Dave Ramsey
And there can be healing.
Ken Coleman
That's right. And I think you have to go into this going, there's just no way. I think Dave framed it beautifully. But as a response to what Dave said, you've got to understand this is one of those situations in life that was forced on you. You cannot control your dad or the situation he's put you in, but you got to do what's best for you. So that's the mindset. There's no way. This is not going to suck. But on the other side, you're going to be better.
Dave Ramsey
Anytime you're setting a boundary with a boundaryless person, less is more. So this is a very short, concise conversation, okay? We're not going into a bunch of explanation or discussion of his character or the history of the family tree. We're not gonna try to explain this to him. We're not gonna go into a bunch of detail. It's a simple thing. Dad, you know I love you, and I've thought about this, and I think I'm just gonna stick with Grandpa's plan, and that's what we're gonna do. So I hope it works out for you and I'll be cheering for you. And just that. That. That's what, 10 seconds maybe of audio? And that's all you need. The longer you talk, the more you're going to mess this up. So I use that when over 35 years now of running a business, on the rare occasion that we actually have to let someone leave this place, we don't have long discussions. We've had long discussions up to that point, trying to get them better. But the day they leave, it's like the decision has been made. Today's your last day. That's it. We don't go into why, because why has been discussed in the 90 days previous. There's no better time to start protecting your home than right now. This month, only my listeners can take 50% off any new Simplisafe home security system during their last chance Black Friday sale. Do not miss this deal. I've recommended SimpliSafe for over 10 years and it's simply the best security system you can get for your home. That's because SimpliSafe helps stop crimes before they start. Their AI cameras detect threats early and then live. Agents stop them by speaking directly to intruders, letting them know they're being watched and that the police will be dispatched. SimpliSafe stands behind their security with an anti theft guarantee and no long term contracts. That's why SimpliSafe was named the best home security of 2020 by US News and World Report. So don't miss Simplisafe's biggest sale. Head to simplisafedirect.com and claim 50% off today. That's simplisafedirect.com there's no safe like SimpliSafe. John is in San Jose. Hey John, how are you?
Caller
I'm doing good. How are you doing today?
Dave Ramsey
Better than I deserve. What's up?
Caller
Hi. So I just have a quick question, a little bit of a background. I have a job as an analyst making around 120k. I got a notice last month and they pretty much I got laid off. So my last day was yesterday. Essentially my question is, I live in San Jose, California. My house is worth around $750,000. My dad actually gave it to me, 32 years old. And so I have $50,000 and student loans, $25,000 in a personal loan, $25,000 and in a car loan, and then around $5,000 in credit card debt. And because of the job loss, I'm kind of concerned right now. The market's kind of bad in like the tech sector. So I'm wondering, like, if I were to default on these loans, like can they take, can they force sell my home or how does that look like and you know, will they be willing to like settle on some of this debt? I do have around $10,000 in savings and around $50,000 in 401k money that I can pull out if needed.
Dave Ramsey
Are you married?
Caller
Yes, I am married. That's another thing my wife used to work. She made around 60 to $70,000 a year. But she paused that because she, she just got into law school and she's fulfilling her dreams of becoming a lawyer.
Ken Coleman
What were you making?
Dave Ramsey
120.
Ken Coleman
120.
Dave Ramsey
With no house payment. And yet you still ran up all this debt?
Caller
I do have a house payment. It is around $1,300.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, I thought you said the house was free and clear. How much Is your mortgage.
Caller
No, no, there's a mortgage around $50,000.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, okay.
Caller
Well, I do have a house payment and housing in the Bay Area is pretty expensive. So, you know, apart from like the debt that I have and utilities, like I'm spending around maybe.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. You got a notice a month ago. Why have you not gotten a job?
Caller
I've been applying, I've been getting interviews, but I have noticed that it's been fairly slow. So. Yeah, actively applying, Actively going into interviews. So yes, working on it. I guess I'm just concerned about like, if the job market is as severe as like it is. Like, I think I have enough money to cover myself for like maybe about four to six months. But I am worried the money you.
Dave Ramsey
Gave me doesn't cover your four to six months. You can't make it four to six months on $10,000.
Caller
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. All right. So there's a bunch of, there's a bunch of answers to this question. All right. And let's. Let me give you all of them. First and foremost, you get re employed and this is a non issue. And that's what you spend all of your calories on. That's what you work on. And Ken can really help line you up on that. Then I'll move on. If you don't get re employed, really, you just ought to have your butt kicked if you don't go get some money coming in. Go get a job. Okay. And Ken's going to help you with all that. But if you don't, let's just pretend you never work again. Okay. For the next year and a half. Okay. So you will have to pay the first mortgage payment or that 50,000 will foreclose on you. You know that.
Caller
Yeah. In which case, if I really needed to, I can call my dad and he'll pay the mortgage. So that I guess that's not really the issue. But he just. I guess the background is. My dad's kind of like you. He hates debt, he doesn't get any credit card.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. He's not real proud that you ran up $25,000 on a personal line. 25,000 on a car after he gave you a dad gum house.
Caller
Yeah, I know, it's pretty stupid.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. And that's what he's going to say too. Sounds like okay, but yeah. So you're not going to lose the house from the foreclosure. That way will the other people put a lien on the house and force the sale of the house. In California, it's almost impossible to do that. Okay. They eventually would sue you. Not the student loans, but the personal loan, the car repos first. Then they sue you on the deficit or they sue you on the credit cards or whatever else. When they sue you, they win the lawsuit. After they win the lawsuit, they execute on the lawsuit. And that's when in school. Some states they can take a lien on your residence and a lien on your income called a garnishment. But all of that is six or eight months from now at the earliest. Your biggest concern is making the mortgage payment and your biggest concern is just getting another job and then clean up this dadgum mess when you get your new job so you're not vulnerable like this.
Caller
Yeah, no, I know. Yeah, I made some dumb decisions.
Dave Ramsey
So. About getting the job.
Ken Coleman
Yeah. My question is, and there's no question the employment market is softening. There's no question about that. I don't know your area, but what was your tech specialty?
Caller
I'm an analyst.
Ken Coleman
Okay, but do you have any other tech skills? In other words, what'd you do on the ladder up to becoming an analyst?
Caller
So I guess a bit of a background is I used to work like manual warehousing jobs. Okay. And then I recently got through my education and I got promoted into an analyst position. So other than like manual labor and analyst work, that's pretty much really.
Ken Coleman
Okay, great. So here's, here's the thing. Dave's exactly right. We want to focus on short term, then long term. So while you're looking for long term, meaning getting back in the tech industry, there's two strategies. If I were you, this is what I would do first, I would be absolutely beating the door down for all in any kind of contract type opportunities. So freelance work. So what's what we see in this job economy right now? This is true of tech is where you may see a slowdown in hiring of full time positions. What they start to do is they look for contract work, workers freelance. So I would be looking for all those opportunities, even if it's a short term, I got a four month deal here, I jump in and take it. All right, that's why you're looking for the long term role. But the second thing I would be doing is, and this is where people make a mistake, they take activity of I'm applying, I've had some interviews and gosh, the market's a little tough. All that's true. But you need to go back to the warehouse, get back in the manual labor game because we have a thirteen hundred dollar mortgage Payment. And then the rest of the four walls. Right. And that's your utilities, that's the car, the transportation, groceries, all that kind of stuff. You and your wife have also got to sit down and go, do we need to press pause on. Because law school will still be there, but we have two adults here that are in a financial problem. I wouldn't call it a crisis. But if we both go to work right now, we can cover the mortgage and every bit of this until we get back on our feet. But I'm hearing a mentality here, which is, gosh, Dave, Kim, what do I do? The market's tough and I'm going to. Could they take my house? That is the wrong question. The question is, how can I make the amount of money? How can my wife and I together make the amount of money we need to make it until I get a more stable job situation?
Dave Ramsey
Hey, John.
Ken Coleman
Period.
Dave Ramsey
Hey, John.
Caller
Yep.
Dave Ramsey
Can I love you enough to be mean to you for a minute? Yeah. You give me permission. You give me permission?
Caller
Yes. Yes.
Dave Ramsey
You don't sound like a motivated person.
Caller
I guess it's just like the mixture of getting laid off.
Dave Ramsey
It could be, but your dad's willing to jump in, pay a house payment. Your dad gave you a house thing. Your wife's in law school. You just don't sound like you're fired up about this. And in the world I come from, you get fired up about this. And yeah, you got knocked down, but they gave you a month notice and you still hadn't fixed it. And you got bills to pay, people to feed, man. So I want you to get wired up and fired up. Get up off your butt and go be a man. Go knock some stuff down, dude. Don't call your daddy up for payments. Let's get with it. That's what I would tell my son. Okay. And so I'm gonna love you enough to be that mean to you. I know you're knocked down. I know you're a little bit down the dumps. But hey, it's FedEx and UPS. Go load boxes. It's Christmas time. They'll hire you today. And then get up off your butt and go fix this and get you a job making 120. And then clean up this lazy butt financial mess you made and quit doing this. You have too good a head start. Way too good a head start. Go fix it, man. You can do it.
Ken Coleman
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Dave Ramsey
You need Better sleep.
Ken Coleman
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Dave Ramsey
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Caller
I'm doing well, sir.
Dave Ramsey
How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up?
Caller
My question today is I'm in the process of starting to track down the debts I've got floating out there and looking on credit. KAR figured out that in the grand scheme of things, I really don't have that much debt. It's only about $5,200, but it's split between three different collection agencies. So today I decided to try to call and negotiate those down, to try to get those drop down to where I say, hey, I've got this much money. Can we close this out to where I owe you guys? No more money. And send me a piece of paper before I send Any payment. And what I figured out today is those guys are not very nice. And my question to you is, how do I need to word the negotiation process to really better my chances to get it to where I can lower this down and get this debt closed out?
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. So what caused you to be in collections?
Caller
Oh, whole lifetime of bad choices went from. I was in the military for four years, and in the process of that, I got married, accrued some debt by some bad choices. A lot of that has actually gone away just with time.
Dave Ramsey
What's happened that's caused you to decide to step forward and clean this up?
Caller
I am wanting to wipe the slate clean, start over and get a fresh start. My parents have followed your plan and have themselves gotten debt free. And I am 29, about to be 30.
Dave Ramsey
Thank you for your service to your country, sir.
Caller
Glad to do it, sir.
Dave Ramsey
So, all right. Do you know the. So the 5200 is three. Give me an example of one of the three.
Caller
The largest of which would be $2700 and 2748. So 27.
Dave Ramsey
Is that the current balance or the original balance?
Caller
I believe that's the current balance. It's just what it shows on credit Karma when I pull up the app and look at it.
Dave Ramsey
All right, so did you call and talk to them and did you try to give them $2,748?
Caller
I called one of the smaller ones.
Dave Ramsey
Okay.
Caller
There was one that was $2018. I called them and I essentially said, I have a thousand dollars. I can pay you today. You send me a piece of paper or email, mail some form of document that this account is closed and I owe you no more money.
Dave Ramsey
Right.
Caller
And what. When I, when I brought that up after finally getting through to somebody, he essentially told me that that's not how that works.
Dave Ramsey
It is how it works. And what happens next is if you don't agree to this, I'm going to hang up on you and I'm going to call the next one and give him the thousand dollars because you're too stupid to take it.
Caller
This is how you worded it, too. I said, well, I have somebody else on my list. You don't want to take my money, I'll call my next person.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, and then just do that three times a day until you get through to somebody that has two brain cells. Because what happens with these people that are credit card collectors and old debt collectors in these situations, they're national companies, they're sitting in cubicles, 150 people in an office, or they're working from home, one of the two, and there's fluorescent lights overhead. It's like a boiler room type thing, something you would see in a movie. Right. And it's a horrible job. And they have figured out that if they can elicit emotion from you, get you angry or afraid, that your thinking centers of the brain don't operate anymore. You move to the frontal lobe into the lizard brain, which is fight or flight. And if they can get you where you're not thinking, you will not think and pay them.
Caller
Yeah, it's funny you bring that up, because I actually just recently had a situation happen where I was scammed out of a large amount of money. And that is exactly the strategy they use.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. And so fear and anger are the two things they're trying to activate. And so if you'll just remember that the person you're talking to has an average time on the job of 21 days. You now have more training than they do. After you and I have this discussion. They're only taught to do one thing. Piss the guy off. And you'll get money from him. And so anything they do, they make up all kinds of stuff. They'll call your wife names. They'll call your dog names. They'll talk about your mama. I mean, it's on and on and on. It's a game. It's a psychological game. And just go. So I'm going to return to short, quick sentences that are very calm. It's like, hey, I understand that this is your job and you're trying to this technique, but here's the deal. It doesn't change the fact I got $1,000, and it doesn't change the fact I'm getting ready to hang up and call the next guy. So do you want to talk about this or not? Yes or no. And if you say anything other than yes, I'm going to push end on my phone and this conversation's over. Ready? Here's your opportunity. Say yes. And when they go bah, bah, bap, just hit hang up and then just move on. And you may have to call five or six times to each one of them to get it figured out. But you're exactly right. Do not give them electronic access to your checking. They'll clean you out. Only wire them money or send them a prepaid debit card with the exact amount on it. And that's all that's ever going to be on that card. And it's done something like that. And you must have it in writing because they lie you can tell they're lying if their mouth is moving before you do it. Now, if you have $5200, life's going to be a lot easier if you just get it in writing that this is the actual amount and then I will send you the money. Okay? But if you want to try to settle it for 50 cents on the dollar like you're doing because you don't have the money because you got scammed, then that's how you're going to do it. But you've just got to remember this is an industry that is based on very primitive, juvenile techniques and they have zero ethics at all. And so people call making the mistake of thinking I'm talking to a normal human being. And this is not a normal convers. Like if you owed me money or I owed you money, Josh, we would talk and we would try to be somewhat reasonable. We might be angry or we might, but we're still going to try to keep a connection. But that has nothing to do with what you're doing here. You're just jumping into a barrel of piranha and trying to get out with your skin on. That's all you're doing.
Ken Coleman
I love that you lay that out for folks, because I'd love for you to weigh in on this. They have to know that they're not going to get most of that money. So they only have those techniques. And if you, our audience, understand what Dave just taught you, Dave, they will settle. They're just thrilled to get 1000 bucks, truth be known. Is that fair?
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, most of the time. Yeah.
Ken Coleman
Because they know they've done the numbers. It's a game.
Dave Ramsey
And if it is someone calling you, it could be a debt buyer. And you can buy old, bad debt, people buy blocks of it and then try to collect it. Right. You can buy that for about a nickel on the dollar. Wow. So, I mean, you were here a few years ago.
Ken Coleman
I remember we did that.
Dave Ramsey
We bought $10 million, 8,000 accounts, $10 million worth of debt for $259,000. And then that was our Christmas, part of our Christmas around here. 8,000 accounts, we had a thousand people. Each person got to call eight people and say, in Jesus name, your debt is forgiven. And that's Merry Christmas. And we're going to send you an email telling you that. And so for 259,000, we got rid of $10 million worth of debt. That was two and a half cents on the dollar.
Ken Coleman
Crazy.
Dave Ramsey
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Ken Coleman
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Dave Ramsey
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Caller
Hey, I'm doing all right, Dave. How about you?
Dave Ramsey
Better than I deserve. What's up?
Caller
So I'm 29 and I'm planning on going back to school to become a radiological technician or a X ray tech. And I'm trying to figure out whether or not I should keep investing or if I should stop investing to pay for school as I go.
Dave Ramsey
How much is school?
Caller
So they charge 800 a credit and it's for an associate's degree so it's going to be $48,000. That's not including fees, textbooks and travel because I have to travel once a semester as well and I'll be doing clinicals depending on the site.
Ken Coleman
So do you know the all in number?
Dave Ramsey
So what's the all in number?
Caller
I do not know the all in number. Rough guess is 60,000.
Dave Ramsey
That sounds right. What do you make now?
Caller
Right now I make 58,000.
Dave Ramsey
So how long is gonna take you to save 60,000?
Caller
I'm actually pretty close to that because I was supposed to be getting married next year. Fortunately things didn't work out. So I have $54,000 in the bank right now.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, okay. Is this a full time. Is it full time school?
Caller
Yes, it'd be full time. It'd be full time.
Dave Ramsey
How are you paying for food while you're in school?
Caller
So I'm still at home with my family because I was figuring stuff out for a while and my ex at the time we're going to move out so I'm still mom and dad at the time.
Dave Ramsey
How old are you?
Caller
29.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, you said that. I'm sorry. Why X ray tech? Why? How'd you pick this?
Caller
So I work as a security guard in a medical facility and one of our departments is imaging and this seems like it's. I've always been interested in capturing like images and stuff and working with photography. I never really got around to it though. I was always interested but never really applied myself because I was too lazy. And then I decided to make a major change in trying to start pushing my life forward and make big changes and I think this is the right one.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. How long does it take to get through the school?
Caller
The school is online.
Dave Ramsey
How long does it take to get to the school?
Caller
What do you mean to get to?
Ken Coleman
The same question.
Dave Ramsey
How long is it going to take you to graduate?
Caller
Oh, two years. I'm sorry, I thought you said to get to the school two years to graduate.
Ken Coleman
So you can't do any kind of work while doing this program for two years?
Caller
No, I'll be working full time. I'll be working full time as my security guard. I work from 6am to 2pm and then I finished my shift. I finished at 2 and then I'll be work. I'll be going to class from 5pm to 10pm Fantastic.
Ken Coleman
I don't see why you need to stop investing. What is your. Do you have any debt?
Caller
I have no debt.
Ken Coleman
What does your current investing Program look like, what are you doing?
Caller
So I was investing 6% into my company, 401K. They match back and put 2% and then at the end of the year they put 5.5. So at the end of the year they match 7.5%. And then I was investing into a.
Dave Ramsey
If you, if you keep investing, you don't have any overhead to live and you're earning money. You would have the money to get through school with the 54,000 if you keep investing. So it's not really an either or, is it?
Caller
No, it's not.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, so let's start school today and let's keep investing and keep working. Ready, set, go.
Caller
Yeah, I'm already enrolled. I should be starting January 5th. I'm just waiting on a. Yeah, okay.
Dave Ramsey
So the only question we had then is, do you stop investing? No, I don't think you have to because you got 54,000 in a full time job. So you'll have the money. The investing won't keep you from completing school? Mathematically, no. Okay, then keep investing. Yeah, absolutely. That's easy. That's easy. Okay. Took a minute to get through your whole story, but yeah, that's good. I like it. Very good. Proud of you, man. Go get it. He's got a plan. He's executing the plan. How cool is that?
Ken Coleman
It is cool. I loved his answer. Quick little lesson for people. Here's a guy that is trying to figure out what he's doing. He called himself lazy. A lot of self awareness there. And he's security guard in a facility that has a craft that he's intrigued by. He clearly does his homework. And he goes, I've always been interested in capturing images. He never probably thought of being an x ray tech, but now this is what I would call a new trade. And this is a very, very essential, if you remember that stupid word that was thrown around during COVID This is a good trade to pick up. He's got some opportunities, Dave, to branch off of that. So this is a great move here.
Dave Ramsey
It's a good first step in his medical career.
Ken Coleman
That is correct.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. It's not the end. No.
Ken Coleman
Puts him on a good ladder.
Dave Ramsey
But also your book, the proximity principle. He's in proximity.
Ken Coleman
That's right. Very smart.
Dave Ramsey
With something that he ends up doing, although it had nothing to do with what he was actually hired to do.
Ken Coleman
There's a good chance, by the way, that when he finishes the program, he comes back into that same building. He just changes out the work clothes. And I love that, you know, you.
Dave Ramsey
Know, I wonder if they would pay for it.
Ken Coleman
It's very possible. It depends on the demand. Do they need people? And this is key. Great question, Dave, because here's the thing. If you were in a field or planning to go into a field, do an extra set of homework assignments to go, what's the need? Across the nation, not just in my locale, does this industry, are they having a hard time recruiting people and getting people in? In that case, Dave, you would see a lot of companies go, we like you, we'll invest in you. The deal is you got to come work for us. It's a great company.
Dave Ramsey
Well, he's already working for them.
Ken Coleman
He's already in the bill.
Dave Ramsey
So it's an employee benefit to pay for.
Ken Coleman
It happens a lot.
Dave Ramsey
Continuing ed to work for us in a different department, like you said, change clothes.
Ken Coleman
And the correlation, by the way, Dave, is always. Is there a higher demand from employers? They need people.
Dave Ramsey
They usually do. Especially in the medical field. Jeff's in Springfield. Hey, Jeff, how are you?
Ken Coleman
Fine.
Caller
I hope you're doing well.
Dave Ramsey
Better than we deserve. What's up, brother?
Caller
Well, I'm a 68 year old semi retired guy that my wife passed away four years ago unexpectedly. Life goes on. I call it Jeff 2.0 and I'm retired. I got a great pension. I get about $80,000 a year in my pens and I have about $80,000 in investments including 401ks and my house is paid for.
Dave Ramsey
And I just looked up at my clock and I'm running short on time. What's your question?
Caller
I recently found reconnect, reconnected with a profile, help with a old girlfriend. And the problem we're talking about getting married, problem is she's a health professional, got $100,000 in student loan debt and some other bills. And I said my house is paid for. I'm pretty much debt free. If we go any further in the relationship, should I get a pre up and things like that before we, you know.
Dave Ramsey
No, y' all just work on getting that debt paid off. You got 80 coming in, she's got money coming in. Y' all reach over and get that debt paid off. You know, you don't want to live. Listen, if you're 68 and you live to 88, that's the next 20 years. You got student loan hanging over your head. Nah. If you're gonna get married, clean it up. It's not 800,000, it's just a handful of money. You can do this. You can do this. No, we don't need a prenup for something that small. If you got, you know, if it's, you got $8 million or something, you may want a prenup, but you don't. So. No, I think you guys talk about it a lot, about what you're gonna do, maybe even get some pre marriage counseling, which sounds a little weird when you're 68, but do it anyway and yeah, and get on the same page. Be aligned about what the plan is and what the expectations are. But I'd be combining everything. If you're going to combine your life, combine your life. This is the Ramsey show. You already know the power of generosity and the best gifts make an impact now and eternally. That's what preborn does. And you can trust them to do it. Well, they don't just offer free ultrasounds. They support pregnancy clinics across the country with ultrasound machines, training grants and evangelism tools. They're faithful with each dollar. So moms in crisis can see the life in their wombs and hear the truth that brings eternal life. Because here's the thing, when a mom sees her baby on that ultrasound screen, she chooses life 80% of the time. And your gift of just $28 covers the cost of one ultrasound. Or if you're able, you can purchase an ultrasound machine through preborn and have it placed in one of their clinics. So women will choose life for years. Your don hope and truth. When mothers feel alone and fear is loud. So I'm asking you to give to preborn today even just $28 to provide one ultrasound. Go to preborn.com Ramsey or call 855-601-2229. Because every baby saved is more than a life preserved. It's a life changed. That's preborn.com Ramsey. Welcome back to the Ramsey show in the Fair Winds Credit Union Studios. Ken Coleman Ramsey, personality number one best selling author is my co host. Today Barbara's with us in Wyoming. Hey Barbara, how are you? How are you?
Caller
I'm good, thank you.
Dave Ramsey
Good. How can I help?
Caller
So I'm retired. I'm 66 years old. I have a federal pension and Social Security a little bit more than $60,000. I'm on baby step two. The last two debts I have are federal taxes and state of New York taxes. I've been working with the national tax preparation organization to settle these debts. I've already paid for paying the negotiating on your behalf for the federal debt is part of the whole package. But when it comes to state taxes, there's an extra charge so my total debt to the State of New York is about $30,000. And that's with all the penalties and interest and everything they want. They want to charge me $6,500 to represent them. To represent me to the State of New York. And they don't want to give me any. Any information as to past success ratios. I've been trying to get some information to help with this decision and they've been stonewalling me. So I don't really know what to do at this point.
Dave Ramsey
You're very wise.
Caller
Well, thank you.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. You smell a rat, don't you?
Caller
I do. They've done everything they were supposed to do.
Dave Ramsey
Federal's not settled, is it?
Caller
No, no, not settled.
Dave Ramsey
So they haven't done everything they're supposed to do?
Caller
Well, they, they've actually figured all the taxes. They done all the taxes.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, that was hard. Any tax prep idiot can do that.
Caller
Well, it was complicated. I've done.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, so they figured out all the taxes. That's great. But they have not negotiated your federal tax liability down at all?
Caller
No, not yet.
Dave Ramsey
Not yet.
Caller
Next up.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. So after you do that successfully, I'll think about the other.
Caller
Well, except that. But I just. So I left New York a couple years ago, so there's no more debt stacking up to New York. And so I just gave them all the paperwork to do the federal taxes. So we're not to the point of negotiating with. On federal taxes.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, well, I'm just going to wait until the federal taxes. Listen, I would not do it. They're not going to successfully do this. The vast majority of the tax settlement companies collect 5 to $15,000 and don't do anything. They don't have the ability to do anything on the federal level. There's only one way that your federal income taxes are reduced and it's called an oic, an Offer in Compromise. And they have to prove that you are completely broke and impoverished in order to get that through. I've seen a handful of those go through in 30 years and I've seen thousands attempted. So that's on the federal level. I've never tried it with New York, but they're very, very difficult to do at the federal level. And these companies are on cable TV. Former IRS agents work for us and give us $10,000 and we'll settle your debt. Don't bother us unless you've got at least $50,000 in debt. And you know it's a bunch of crap. Okay. Because it just can't do it. Most of the time I am very suspicious that this is exactly the same thing.
Caller
Oh, okay. Well, they seem pretty confident that they.
Dave Ramsey
Can do it, but you don't because they're stonewalling you. You know why they're stonewalling you and won't give you any answers is because they don't have any.
Caller
Any.
Dave Ramsey
If they told you the actual percentage success that they had, you would laugh at them.
Caller
Well, they said they saved people a billion dollars. Yeah, they don't tell me how many people.
Dave Ramsey
I don't know what people win and all that.
Ken Coleman
You keep making your own case. We don't even have to answer this call. If you just listen to that last sentence. You said you keep making a fabulous cases to watch. Why you shouldn't do this. Let me. Let me share something with you. These agencies have no more pull with the IRS or the New York Federal of the New York State government than you do you. I'm just telling you good luck. Try calling the IRS today.
Dave Ramsey
I don't know what New York's rules are. I do know what the federal rules are on settling debt. Okay. But if you want to find out, just go on ramseysolutions.com for free and click on our tax prep folks in New York and contact them and ask them if they can negotiate a $30,000 income tax bill that is delinquent, including penalties in New York and ask them if they can do it or if they know someone that can and what they would charge. And put that piece of data beside the piece of data that you've got and you'll probably have a bit of a chuckle.
Ken Coleman
My guess is Dave, and I'm not suggesting she do this, but Barbara, I would relax on the New York thing. The chances of them.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, no, they'll hunt her down.
Ken Coleman
They may.
Dave Ramsey
It's New York. They'll hunt her down.
Ken Coleman
I don't know. You have way more confidence as well.
Dave Ramsey
I mean, she's in Wyoming. She's hard to find, but they'll hunt her down. But yeah, eventually I want her to deal with it, but I'm not panicked about it.
Ken Coleman
I'm not worried.
Dave Ramsey
And 100% chance I'm not going to pay $6,500 to whoever this mystery company that has saved billions of lives and fed starving children in Africa and all the other bull crap. Yeah, just bull crap. All right. All right. Up next is Bea in Phoenix. Hey, Bea, what's up?
Caller
Hi. Hi. Dave Ramsey.
Dave Ramsey
How are you? Better than I deserve. How can we help?
Caller
Yes. So I just recently bought a House in Phoenix, which I'm really proud of.
Dave Ramsey
Good.
Caller
However, my family's not very happy for me, but that's a different scenario. My dad is in debt. He's thinking about declaring a second bankruptcy. My family is asking me to possibly have him move in with me because he's pretty much borderline homeless.
Dave Ramsey
And you don't want to. Why didn't he move in with your son?
Caller
Oh, he doesn't have. I'm the only girl. The only.
Dave Ramsey
No, I'm sorry. Who was suggesting that he move in with you?
Caller
Oh, my aunts.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, well, tell them to move. Let them move in with them.
Caller
They're making it my responsibility.
Dave Ramsey
No, it's not your responsibility. It's their responsibility. It was their idea. You thought of it, you do it. I'll sign other people up for your charity work.
Caller
Yeah, the thing is, they don't. They don't have a house of their own. I. I saved. I pre.
Dave Ramsey
Have a rental. And it's got a floor in the living room. That's where dad sleeps. It's their brother. Yeah, they should take care of their brother instead of trying to get somebody else to do it. You don't want to do this. That's why you called. I'm giving you permission to not do this.
Caller
Okay.
Dave Ramsey
Matter of fact, I'm telling you not to do this. Why? Why are people mad? You bought a house.
Caller
Oh, my one. My aunt, she guilt tripped me. Said she wanted to combine finances with me.
Dave Ramsey
And this is the one that wants you to let dad move in?
Caller
Yes.
Dave Ramsey
This woman has a lot of opinions about other people's stuff. Yeah, She's a good person to love from a distance. Further distance than you've been loving her from.
Ken Coleman
I don't know why you give all these ants all this power.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, I just go, you know, it's like an ant hill. Oh my God. Running around everywhere, getting bit by ants. It's awful. Ouch, ouch, ouch. Yeah, you need a little more distance between you and crazy ants. And tell the ants to let their. Your. Your dad go over there. Cuz you can't do it right now. It's not. It doesn't work for you right now. I know life gets busy. The to do list never ends. But some things are just too important to put off. And making a will is one of them. That's why I recommend mama bear legal forms. Because I've seen it too many times. Families are grieving a loss, and on top of that, they're stuck in court fighting over paperwork. All because someone didn't take a little time to get their will in place. That's not what you want for your loved ones. You want peace. You want clarity. You want focus on what matters most, being present and leaving a legacy. With Mama Bear, you can create your will in just 20 minutes right from the comfort of your home. It's simple, legally binding and doesn't require an expensive attorney or hours of confusing paperwork. And I'll tell you, almost every person who uses Mama Bear says the same thing. If I would have known how easy it was, I would have done it sooner. So don't wait. Go to mamabearlegalforms.com and use the promo code Ramsey to save 20%. That's Mama Bear legalforms.com code Ramsey. Ramsey Show Question of the Day Today is sponsored by why Refi? You can't change the past, but you can change your next move. Why Refi helps people with defaulted private student loans. You can refinance them to a payment that fits your budget. Visit why refi.com Ramsey that's the letter y r e f y.com Ramsey not in all states.
Ken Coleman
Today's question comes from Gabriella in California. We didn't hear about the Ramsey show until after we purchased our first home. We went with a 30 year fixed rate mortgage and a payment that's over 25% of our monthly pay. Should we pause investing and put that extra money on our mortgage so we can refinance to a 15 year fixed mortgage and lower our payment to the recommended amount?
Dave Ramsey
No, no, I wouldn't go through all that. What I would do is just make sure you're managing your budget really, really carefully and begin to reduce your mortgage in your baby step six. So if you're out of debt, you have your emergency fund in place, you're working 4, 5 and 6 together. 4 is 15% of your income going into retirement, 5 is kids college and 6 is reduce your mortgage until it's paid off. So when you get it reduced down a ways, if you want to restructure, if it becomes worth it, if you can get a lower interest rate, it might be worth it to refinance and take out a maybe a 10 year or a 15, but that's years from now after you get it reduced. In the meantime, know that your mortgage is too high and so resist this justification. My budget's tight so I have to take out a car payment. Don't go back in debt. Don't, don't, you know, don't say, don't blame your house because you made the decision if you cannot exist without taking out debt for other purchases because your house payment's too big, then you need to sell the house and move down. But I don't think that's the case here. I think you can work through this. I wouldn't have signed you up for it, as you know, but I think you can work through this and get there. I think it's possible. Yeah.
Ken Coleman
There's no mention in this of other debt, but if there is, obviously you're going to work our baby steps and you're going to reduce expenses in other areas of your life. And look, if you got to get a better job or work an extra job for a while, you have to get. You have to make the margins that you've already eaten up.
Dave Ramsey
Exactly. You got to make sure you cover it. You can't let this bite you. At the end of the day. Jeremy's in Cincinnati. Hey, Jeremy. How are you?
Caller
I'm doing well. Well, I guess that's all true. I wouldn't be calling you. So anyway, may God continue to bless you. I really appreciate what you're doing for people.
Dave Ramsey
Thank you.
Caller
It's very challenging to find a solid source of help. I have been struggling and dancing with bankruptcy for essentially seven years.
Dave Ramsey
Wow.
Caller
Everything. Everything started. I'm not in it. I started the process post divorce, but the. At the advice of the attorney, he's like, well, wait till this happens now. Wait till this happens. And essentially got in a position where I borrowed money from family and I wasn't going to run them through the ringer to go through a Chapter 13 bankruptcy. Try to make this as quick as I can. As your call screener requested, I'm essentially $120,000 in debt. $20,000 added as a car loan at a very high interest rate because of my credit score. There's roughly $4,000 in back taxes from 2021. A $13,000 parent plus loan that I owe money on. And the rest is unsecured debt that I've accumulated either from. From back in the divorce over the years of having three kids.
Dave Ramsey
How much of this is family? How much do you owe your family?
Caller
I don't owe my family anymore.
Dave Ramsey
I thought you said so. What's the unsecured debt for? 90,000 bucks was credit cards.
Caller
Mostly credit cards and some loans.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. Okay.
Caller
What do you mean trying to get through? My current salary now is 141,000. That's good that my. I am currently being garnished for 100,000 from one credit card company and my Spousal support. My child support has had expired just last year. And then garnishments came in, and my spouse supports roughly twelve hundred dollars. Aside from other bills that I have am before anything, I'm bringing home roughly at five thousand a month. And I started down, back down the track on, on bankruptcy again. But again, I'm not a year year out from having my family being pulled into that, and I don't want to do that to them.
Dave Ramsey
Preferential treatment. Yeah. Okay, so the. Let me ask you, you said $100,000 worth of garnishment. What are you talking about?
Caller
No, no, no, no. Not $100,000 worth of garnishment. I'm seeing $1,000 a month.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, $1,000 a month. Okay, so you make 140. And there's taking out 1,000 for that. And they're taking out how much for child support? 1,200.
Caller
Spousal support, 1280.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, so that's $2,200. That's less than 30,000 out of the 140. So that leaves you 90, not counting taxes. How big's your tax refund?
Caller
Oh, I don't get. I don't usually get any good.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, and then, so how much do you have coming out for 401k?
Caller
That is maxing out at 6%.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. Okay. All right, so here's what I'm gonna do. You're making a lot of money. It's just going back out the door. What do you think you're spending it on all these payments? You got all this car payments. Outrageous. It's 1500 at that.
Caller
My, my car payment is $438 a month, but it's a very long loan. 13% interest rate.
Dave Ramsey
Okay.
Caller
One of the other things that's, that's in the mix here is I do have. I am one third owner of my mother's home from when she passed. And there's currently no settlement with my brothers and I on liquidating at least my, my share.
Dave Ramsey
But you're not paying anything on that.
Caller
No, I'm not paying anything on that.
Dave Ramsey
You just, you might get some money out of it someday. Okay. All right, so here's what I'm doing. I'm still not finding 140,000. So I temporarily would stop your 401k. I'm gonna put you on a beans and rice budget. You don't eat out anymore. You don't go on vacation anymore. And you're gonna make every dollar behave because 140,000 minus 2,200 minus 500 for a car payment. You still got a lot of money that is unexplained here and I want you to go find it. I'm going to give you the every dollar premium budget which is going to guide you through this whole process. But more than anything, Jeremy, you got to make every single dollar behave before the month begins and then execute on that with deathly efficiency. And you know, you've kind of been. It feels like you've kind of been wallowing around in this for so long that you've kind of lost your footing and lost. You can't get a handhold, you can't get a foothold. And so I want you to just back up three steps, take a deep breath and dive into cold water and go. Okay, fresh start. Clean eyes, clear eyes, fresh start. Now look at the math. Only where the flip is $140,000 going? Because you sure hadn't explained it to me in this. And I want you to go find that. For your sake. You don't have to expl to me, but you need to go find it. Cut up the stupid credit cards. Never touch one of those dadgum things again. They're destroying your life. And then let's list your debts, smallest to largest, and begin to attack them in that order after you start paying minimum payments. But you could stop the 401k, you can put the Parent plus loan on temporary hardship and then you can turn around and start attacking these other debts that you are paying monthly on. Get them cleared up and then come back to the parent plus loan and clean it up later. All of these things are gettable, they're very doable. And whatever that one that's got the garnishment on, get that thing, get it done, get it knocked out. And man, I would just pump. I pop it that way as hard as I could hit it. But the math here says you've got great hope. Your voice does not say that.
Ken Coleman
Yeah, I would recommend that you even get a second job. Target 30 to $50,000. What would it take? How could you make an additional 30 to 50? Now you got good income, but I think you need some intensity right now. We've heard enough debt free screams that when we hear these people say we worked every second that we could and we made so much money, I think right now you need a jump start of intensity. And I would have looked to sell this car. This $20,000 car's got a $400 plus payment to it. You need to go all in. Scorched earth, more income and beans and rice.
Dave Ramsey
That thing needs to be paid off in the next 12 months or you need to sell it. Yep, you need to get get fired up here. So you clean up those credit cards, you clean up that car loan. You start cleaning up a bunch of this and all you've got left is unsecured. You start plowing through this stuff like a snowplow, baby. You can start knocking them down just like dominoes. It'll happen. We've seen people do it all the time. Hang on. We'll sign you up as our gift to the expanded version, the new and improved every dollar.
Caller
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Dave Ramsey
Yeah, it's true.
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Dave Ramsey
Megan is with us in St. Louis. Hey Megan, how are you?
Caller
Hey Dave. I'm fair to Midland today. How are you doing?
Dave Ramsey
About the same, other than I'm better than I deserve. How can I help?
Caller
Well, I need help understanding or framing out. How do I tell my mom? I am starting to resent her after some financial choices that she's made.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, how old is your mom?
Caller
She's 60.
Dave Ramsey
And how old are you?
Caller
32.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, so why does it affect you?
Caller
So she has been a successful medical professional in the physical therapy practice world. She had three clinics and was a single mom and supported me and my sister for the majority of our life. And as an adult we had mutual respect for our business decisions. Five years ago she sold her clinics or her interest in them and her home to move in with her long term fiance and she took those proceedings and made his dream happen of opening up a diner. And they did that at a somewhat opportune time where other diners were liquidating their equipment. They were able to purchase that. And it's been very successful over the last five years. However, as the diner got stronger, their relationship got weaker and they broke off the engagement and she moved out earlier this year. He then bought out her interest in the diner, but not directly, not in one month. So he is paying in monthly installments. And her investment there was about half of her profits from the sale of the business and the home. And at this point, it's going to take another 15 years to recoup that. So it's coming.
Dave Ramsey
How does this affect you?
Caller
Well, we've been in a family dynamic where we go on vacations together, we plan holidays together, and she's made promises to me and my sister about being included on a home purchase and planning a wedding and I'm going to be engaged. And she promised that she'd like to be committed to that. And now I'm having those feelings that she had the finances to make her fiance's dreams come true. But now where is that money for our dreams when. When, you know, she's saying that the money just isn't there?
Dave Ramsey
You're not gonna like me, okay?
Caller
If I need a kick in the pants, go for it.
Ken Coleman
I'm gonna tell you right now, I already second whatever his motion is about to be.
Dave Ramsey
You're 32 years old, okay? Yeah, you sound like an 18 year old whining that your mommy didn't give you something. Your mom's a single mom, grew something from nothing, screwed up with a bad choice in men again and lost her money. And you're whining about your wedding. You're 32. Go pay for your wedding. And love your mother.
Caller
Sure, absolutely.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. Just. I mean, she's a warrior princess. She raised you girls from nothing. She had nothing. And she built this thing out of the dirt with her hands and then she lost it. You should be heartbroken for her. Mad at the twerp with a Dinah, not worried about yourself.
Caller
I have been. I have been and I am.
Dave Ramsey
But you've been mad at him because he got your money's way you're acting.
Caller
Yeah, we've. We've been on vacations where I've, you know, covered the bill I treated for her 60th birthday trip earlier this year and.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, well, if you don't want to do that, that's fine. Or if you can't do that because you're saving for Your own wedding. That's okay because she made these choices. You don't have to cover her travel bill. But on the other hand, I don't think she, you know, she's not obligated to pay for a 32 year old woman's wedding. As a single mom who lost her money to a bad relationship.
Caller
Yeah. I think that's where I have to identify where those feelings came from.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. I think if I were you, I would parse out the two things. Number one, one is what are you required to do for her? Nothing. She'll make it. She's okay. And let her go. Let her release her on what she was thinking she was going to be able to do for you, but now has messed up and is not able to. Any expectation that she gives you money should turn and not be there anymore and turn into gratitude for what she's already done for you.
Caller
You.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah.
Ken Coleman
And on the question, the way you worded it, how do I tell my mom I resent her? That implies that you haven't said anything yet. I think it's okay to communicate two emotions that I heard, that you're, that you're mad and that you're sad. And I think as an adult, you honor your mother, but you can have an honest conversation. I think it's probably important for you to get that off your chest, but in a way that is respectful and honoring and then move on. But you got to acknowledge that you're mad and you're sad.
Dave Ramsey
But mainly though sad for her.
Ken Coleman
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
Not mad because I didn't get something.
Ken Coleman
Well, it's okay for her to say I'm mad that she made this promise and she can't keep it, but we got to move on. You know what I mean? Like, it's like it is what it is.
Dave Ramsey
30 seconds.
Ken Coleman
That's what I'm saying. But go ahead and deal with it because she's misplacing the way the question is framed. I'm misplacing my emotions toward all towards my mom. And I just think that that's unhealthy. This is a lady who did well for you. So if you went on vacation, you set the terms in your mind, you and your sis, and you go, this is what we're going to do for mom. We're not going to resent her. We're not going to be gripey about it and you just move on.
Dave Ramsey
Or we don't do it.
Ken Coleman
You don't do it at all. Don't have her own vacation.
Dave Ramsey
I don't, you know, I'M not able to do this right now because I'm saving for my own wedding. And that. That's a perfectly reasonable answer. She did make her own bed in that sense. Yeah, but, but, but no, I. Yeah, mainly I'm going to be sad for her and deciding how much I'm willing to do to help her. My concern for myself needs to be close to zero in this. You're too old for that.
Ken Coleman
That's exactly right.
Dave Ramsey
That's my point.
Ken Coleman
Yeah, I agree with you.
Dave Ramsey
Move on. Just move on with it. And here's the thing. I think Dr. John were here, he would say, you're probably playing these tapes over and over, like, 42 times in your head every day. It'll be really good to get the tapes out of your head and just let them go somewhere else. Just let them go off to the sunset and just then just smile and go, mom messed up. And, you know, she did good for a while, and then she messed up. And that's just Mom. Yeah, you know that's right.
Ken Coleman
Well, to your point, you can't be full of gratitude and full of anger at the same time. So let's just be an adult and let's focus on what we're grateful for. This woman did a lot for you.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, yeah.
Ken Coleman
Against the odds, by the way. Single mom, three clinics. I mean, she's not a doofus.
Dave Ramsey
She just doesn't pick men. Well, fair. Yeah. That's good. Yeah.
Caller
But.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. All right. Cynthia is in Toronto. Hi, Cynthia. How are you?
Caller
Hi. I'm doing good. I'm honored to talk to you both today.
Dave Ramsey
You, too. How can we help?
Caller
Okay, so this is probably a silly question based on a few callers back, but I'm a new listener and I thought I would still ask. So what does Gazelle Intensity look like in Baby Step Two when it comes to Thinking buds? For example, I want to put $150 a month each to my car. Finance for repairs, a pet fund for, like, an older dog, and vacation and gift funds. Not to actually take a vacation, but say, you know, if we go on a camping trip or something like that with a big family, it would equal to $600 a month or 7200 a year, and it would be about 1800 per category. So I just want to know what you guys think about that.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. I only do the bare necessities when I'm in Baby Step two on, you know, Gazelle Intense. Baby Step two, working the debt snowball so the sinking funds would reflect that we're not going on Vacation period. Not spending $7,000 a year on vacations. Not while we're in baby step two. No. Yes, we've got to keep our car repaired. So, yes, you need to have a monthly account, monthly line item in your budget that can build up. And yes, that can be called a sinking fund for car repairs because you do have to do car repairs while you're in there. And if you have a dog that you're fairly sure is going to have some issues, then, yeah, that's an ongoing budgeting item that's going to happen and you're going to deal with it. No matter how intense you are, you're going to deal with the dog situation. So you need something there. But that's not $15,000 for a pet in the middle of this. You know, it's a few hundred dollars here or there for some vet bills. And so anything like that, if, you know your tires need to be replaced, that's part of your car repair. Right. But car replacement, no, we don't need to worry about car replacement right now. We're getting out of debt. We'll worry about that after we get out of baby step three. And so only the things that are necessary to operate the house, bare minimum, that fall into sinking, those are the only sinking funds we fund at that point. Really good question, by the way.
Ken Coleman
Dave.
Dave Ramsey
We got a lot of calls on.
Ken Coleman
This show where life happens. One day someone's healthy, they're working, providing.
Dave Ramsey
For their family, and then a curveball hits. You know, we hear it all the time. A car accident, a cancer diagnosis, a heart attack, and suddenly everything changes. Yeah, and that's why you've always said.
Ken Coleman
That having term life insurance from Xander is essential because it protects your family.
Dave Ramsey
If the worst happens. Yeah, that's right. You need 10 to 12 times your income in coverage. No gimmicks, no whole life junk, just straightforward term life protection. But there's another piece that people often overlook and that's long term disability insurance.
Ken Coleman
Yeah, it's important to understand the difference between them.
Dave Ramsey
Life insurance steps in when you die.
Ken Coleman
Disability insurance steps in while you're alive, but can't work. So it replaces a large part of your income so the bills still get paid while you get back on your feet.
Dave Ramsey
Now, if your employer gives you free disability insurance, great, take it. If it's discounted there at a better price, take it. But if not, Zander can help you find the right plan. Whether you're single or married. It's not optional. If you're going to be out of Work for a while, then you need to make sure the money's still showing up. And that's why Zander is our go to. They make it super simple to get the right coverage at the best price.
Ken Coleman
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Dave Ramsey
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Ken Coleman
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Dave Ramsey
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Ken Coleman
Go to zander.com or call 800-356-4282.
Dave Ramsey
Protect yourself, protect your income, protect your family. Brian's in Wisconsin. Hey, Brian, how are you?
Caller
Better than I deserve. How are you two today?
Dave Ramsey
Just the same. How can I help?
Caller
Caller, Longtime listener. My wife and I are on baby step six. We make about 425,000 each year, with the bulk of that coming from my employment. I work as a software engineer with consulting work on the side. We have a high savings rate, just over 200,000 a year.
Dave Ramsey
Wow.
Caller
My work life balance, it sucks. Non existent. And it's taken a toll on my mental and physical health. I'm doing this because my wife and I, we plan to have kids soon. No kids right now. And I'm also worried that my skills might be obsolete in the next three to five years due to the advancements in artificial intellig. My question is, is it possible to sort of be too focused on savings and sort of delayed gratification and should I shift my focus to maintaining my health and a decent work life balance even with the uncertainty of the future job market?
Dave Ramsey
Well, you already know that you should do that.
Caller
Okay.
Dave Ramsey
You know that. And the way you phrase the question tells me that, you know, that you just wanted someone to agree with you. And yes, I think you're very wise to observe to that. So here's what's happening. You are. We always talk about, in every marriage, there's typically a nerd and a free spirit. I'm the nerd at my house, the detail person. My wife is the free spirit. My daughter Rachel is the free spirit. Her husband Winston is the nerd. You're definitely the nerd at your house. And it shows up not only in your career field, but in your approach to this entire phone call even. Okay, so you're very detailed, very focused person. You like systems, you work systems. It made you a good living, by the way, which is wonderful. Okay. But you've gotten completely over the edge into that world and you've lost all the other beautiful parts of life focusing only on the ones and zeros. And so you're exactly right. You're very self aware. You're very wise to say I need to back up. I need some art and some science in my life. Not just science and art is the romance of my wife, the beauty of some children that need to be on the way this week. Come on, dude, get some kids. And you know, it's the best thing ever happened to you. And no, by the way, you're not going to be unemployed because of AI. You're going to be the guy that tells AI what to do. Now, if you're writing lines of code, yeah, you may be not writing lines of code anymore in four or five years. I don't doubt that. I got a feeling AI is going to be writing most of our code and I'm fine with that. But somebody's got to tell the stupid thing how to do it. Because it's artificial intelligence, by the way, like artificial sweetener. And so we're using, you know, I'm not in your world. Except that we have a lot of digital products and a lot of digital people here. And a lot of our software engineers are convinced that they need to get above AI and boss it around as their new job description in the future rather than do what it's trying to do right now. And that's just my take on it as an entrepreneur. But I don't think you're going to be unemployed because I think you're already considering how you're going to pivot to take advantage of the new technology instead of it taking you out.
Ken Coleman
Yeah. Brian, two quick questions here to focus on this balance issue. How much of the 425 is your income?
Caller
Income about 370.
Ken Coleman
Okay, of the 370, you mentioned your job and then I heard consulting. So break down the income. Your income of the 370. How much is consulting outside of your 9 to 5?
Caller
You know, it's split right down the middle. My 9 to 5 is half of it and consulting is the other half.
Dave Ramsey
Okay.
Ken Coleman
How many hours is the consulting taking up in a week?
Caller
About 20 hours a week. On top of my nine to five? 40 hours a week.
Ken Coleman
All right, so I just wanted to tactically start to break that down because Dave's right. I agree with everything he said. So now we need to look at, okay, we've been in the scarcity mindset, you know, all this savings. So we need to dial back the 60 hours. So if you're, if you're looking at, you know, I hate to tell anybody to take a step back in income. But the reality is you need to take a step back in hours. So we're looking at 60 hours a week. And that's what's causing the big part of your pain called today. So you got to adjust that. That's where we go in and we tactically make some changes.
Dave Ramsey
But you've been doing, I can just tell by the way you're handling this, you've been doing technology a long time. This is not your first ride.
Caller
Yeah, very true. Over 10 years experience.
Dave Ramsey
Exactly. And so you've navigated changes, disruptions before. This one's a little bit more of a tsunami than a minor disruption. But you're going to navigate this and you're going to be fine. There are people that are going to be taken out by it. If you think you're going to be a dev1 coder five years from now, you're not people. Those of you listening, okay, I don't think that's happening. There's not going to be much of that happening. But there's a lot of stuff we're not going to be doing. But that's okay. There's other things we can do with this technology, but you've got to have a brain that works the way your brain works to be able to make AI do what it's supposed to do. And so a brain that works. I can't make it do what you can make it do, in other words, because my brain is not set up that way and I don't have the knowledge base that you have.
Ken Coleman
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
So I think you're going to be in a really good position.
Ken Coleman
And that raises another question, Brian. Is the consulting work the exact same type of work in the 9 to 5, or is it slightly different?
Caller
Same work, different fields, one is law and the other one is healthcare.
Ken Coleman
I just wonder, as a part of this transition, as you begin to kind of scale back so that you can start a family, get the stress out of your life. I wonder if the consulting is not eventually a business where you work for yourself and you kind of make yourself even more insulated from the threat of AI. Just something to think about. I'm not putting you on the spot to answer that, but there's something to this.
Dave Ramsey
There's a pivot there.
Ken Coleman
There's a potential. I'll say that there's a potential pivot. If I were sitting with you in your living room, we're walking through the, the next five years, I'd want to look, what is the future of the consulting business and how could you, you know, add to or full pivot.
Dave Ramsey
So are you literally writing code right now?
Caller
I am working right now. Yes.
Dave Ramsey
No, I mean, no. I mean, not, not this second. I mean, is this today your job description as you write lines of code?
Caller
No, we're telling AIs what to do, which is kind of what made me call in like, yeah, what this thing's going to do within five years.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, but I mean, I mean, today you are. That's. Okay, so you're a senior engineer. Okay, I got you. All right. Because you're killing it income wise. I'm so proud of you. Very well done. So you're very smart. You're a planner, you're a thinker. You flowchart stuff in your brain. You can't keep from doing it, including your own life. And so, yeah, so that's what we're doing. We're saying, we're agreeing with you. Yes. I would take a step back, not six steps back. And by the way, when you're at home with your family, then be at home, turn off all screens, including television.
Caller
Yes, sir.
Dave Ramsey
Just relationship. So don't, don't substitute Netflix binge watching for work and call that family life balance. It's not. And sometimes we can do that too. We just move from one of the other. Well, I was at home and she was sitting beside me. No, that doesn't count. Okay, yeah, but you got caught up on Downton Abbey. I don't think that's a plan. Okay, so anyway, yeah, I think you're a great guy. And I think you're gonna be a great dad and a great husband. And you already knew you were gonna do this before you called. And then the question is, you know, you've got a really good nest egg already built. You've got the ability to earn a great income. And here's the thing I know about, folks. Regardless of the field, once you have made X number of dollars, your brain tells you it's possible and you will naturally gravitate back toward X number of dollars plus.
Ken Coleman
That's right.
Dave Ramsey
Once you've broken the threshold, once you balanced on the bicycle the first time and your eyes light up and go, I can actually do this, then you have a tendency to be able to do it again, rather than a tendency to end up making 25,000 a year at Walmart. That's right. It's not what you're doing. So you're going to gravitate towards a half million dollars a year the rest of your life or more. You're just Going to have to change how you do it and how you add value to the organizations in the brave new world that we live in. But you're going to do it. I can tell you're that guy. And I employ a whole bunch of tech folks so kind of know what I'm talking about. I can tell when somebody's got that thing that swagger that allows them to do it. And I think you do. I think you're gonna be great at it. So yes, yes, yes, yes and yes. Good question. Very good discussion. Thanks for calling in.
Caller
Sam.
Dave Ramsey
Welcome back to the Ramsey show in the Fair Winds Credit Union Studio. Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality number one best selling author is my co host today. Nazareth is with us in Houston. Hey Nazareth, how are you?
Caller
Hey Dave. Hey Ken. It's honored to speak with you guys.
Dave Ramsey
You too, sir. How can we help?
Caller
Well, I wish I was calling to talk about my own more of my own financial situation, you know, because I'm doing the baby steps, getting out of debt right now, which is a lot of what I've heard you call the stupid tax because I've, I'm 28 and I've made a lot of mistakes, a lot of mistakes over, over the years. But I guess one of them is led me to moving back in with my parents with my daughter who's now four years old. And anyways I've been here and when I first moved back in like I was still like being pretty irresponsible, like just kind of floating through life. And I've really gotten my act together these past few months and crazy things have happened to where my mom left my dad about two months ago and I took over all the bills and all that. But now I'm looking at my father basically owing about $10,000 on property taxes and if it's not paid within a month, the house is going to go to auction. So I'm just juggling a lot right now and it occurred to me, okay, well maybe I can call the Ramsey show and I got a hold of you guys.
Dave Ramsey
Wow. So your parents finances are a mess and you have taken over them with two whole months of experience controlling yours?
Caller
Yes sir.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, what do you make a year.
Caller
Right now before taxes? I'm bringing in about 3,600amonth. Sometimes a little bit more, sometimes a little less, but right away from okay.
Dave Ramsey
And what does your mom make?
Caller
Well, my mom, she doesn't live here anymore. She actually moved to another state.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, I'm sorry, your dad lives there?
Caller
Yes, sir.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, and what does he Make.
Caller
It varies, but I'd say on a. On a good month, he's making about three to 4,000.
Dave Ramsey
And why have they not paid their taxes?
Caller
It was just a lot of infidelity throughout their marriage, you know, on all levels, including financial. Just never being on the same page about things.
Dave Ramsey
So they don't have any money, I guess. You wouldn't have called me. You would have just paid the taxes? Yeah. Okay.
Caller
Yeah. Well, my father, he. He has about 2000 in. In his savings account, give or take. And. Yeah, but my mom definitely no savings like that. And.
Dave Ramsey
And you're in touch with her? You have the ability to get in touch with her?
Caller
Yes, yes, I do.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. All right. And what's the house worth?
Caller
I'm looking at this number here. Let's see if I see this correctly. Oh, wow. It says a judged value, 215,000.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. What's that? What are you reading there?
Caller
This is the notice of sale.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, that had anything to do with reality. What do you think the house is actually worth? Dude.
Caller
I'm not sure. Probably at. Probably like around 150.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. All right. And what is owed on it?
Caller
Nothing. The house is paid off. Oh, okay.
Dave Ramsey
All right. Wow, that's really sad. So I would tell you to go to Ramsey Solutions.com and click on real estate trusted real estate agent. Get one of our trusted people and tell them what's going on and see if they have any knowledge of tax. Property tax in Texas that I don't have. There's a possibility you could apply for some kind of a thing. Take your dad's 2000 and maybe, you know, 2000amonth for the next four months or whatever and clear the thing. Right, right. There's a possibility they have some kind of a program for that. Or there's a possibility they, you know, they. They give you these notices and then it's a while before they actually do it. It's not really 30 days. I don't. I want you to get more knowledge than just the threat and the mailbox and I don't know. I don't. I don't have the knowledge to give you this.
Caller
Yes, sir. Why did. I spent like about two hours on the phone with these tax office people and, and because they were on payment plans in the past, it's pretty much said that house will go to auction January 6th if it's not paid in full. Like I said, I wish I was calling.
Dave Ramsey
And you don't have the money. And they don't have the money. So what's Our option, there's two options. Neither one are good. Your dad can file a Chapter 13 bankruptcy and that will stop the office auction. Okay. And before I lost the house at auction, I would do that, but I really think that it might be a good idea for your dad just to sell the house. Your dad and mom sell the house now. Get an investor, call one of our Ramsey trusted real estate agents and let's sell the house. House and pay the tax before the, before the auction. Okay. Because they're going to lose this house and you guys don't have any money to stop them. And so, you know, you can go into Chapter 13 bankruptcy, but all we're doing there is kicking the can down the road because your parents are going to screw that up.
Ken Coleman
I'm curious, how many years of the property taxes, what's a year's worth of property taxes on this house, do you know?
Caller
Well, it's, it varies, but I think it goes all the way back to 20. 20. About five years worth.
Ken Coleman
Right. So here, here's the, this is kind of an outside the ball, outside the box idea here. But does your dad, between all the stuff they have, do they have $6,000 worth of stuff that you can sell quickly plus his two that gets you. Or Wait, wait, wait. We got to get two, we got to get eight more. Sorry, my math was bad for a second. 8,000. Does he have $8,000 worth of stuff?
Caller
Yeah, I think so. And I, I, I have.
Ken Coleman
That's the quickest turnaround on this thing. I mean, to be honest with you, if he really has $8,000 worth of stuff and if what's his car. I would do that.
Caller
No, not really through his cars, but he's got a lot of. Because he's a welder, he's builds fences. So he has a lot of material steel here and.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, get it sold.
Caller
Yeah, it's just kind. Yes, sir.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. Get his soul and get the money and go pay the tax it and but your dad's going to have to get off his dadgum butt or he's going to lose his house. And it's not fair that you have to do this for him. This is supposed to be a grown man. I mean, this guy's what, 60 years old?
Caller
Yes, sir, 62.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. So maybe he ought to act like it. Hello. So, yeah, I don't really want you fixing this for him, but I, if he's got the assets, if he got a bunch of junk around there, he can take salvage or whatever and sell it and scratch up ten grand to go with his two or eight grand to go with his two grand. Get this thing paid. That's the answer. Other than that, yeah, you can file bankruptcy, but it's not gonna work because it's gonna crash. He's not. Unless he gets. If he catches it up, that's his only shot at making this work. And your mom needs to sell her car and put some money in it too.
Caller
Foreign.
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Ken Coleman
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Caller
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Dave Ramsey
This time of year, I get a little confused about the terms. It's Cyber Monday week. How do you have a Monday week? I'm so confused.
Ken Coleman
How do Black Friday sales last for 10 days? This is still happening.
Dave Ramsey
Fridays are now 10 days and Mondays are now weeks. Okay, well. But we're going to join the parade. So the deals are in full swing at Ramsey. We got hardcover books, audio books, assessments, all with prices as low as $6.99. Don't wait. These deals end this coming Sunday. 12, 7. Go to ramseysolutions.com store store. Or if you're watching on YouTube our podcast, click the link in the description.
Ken Coleman
I need to make a confession. Dave, our audience knows this. When you're not here and I read these things, I get a little upset. I wonder if you've approved these things because these are really good deals. I'm not sure I'm making much on these books and assessments. Did you approve of these deals?
Dave Ramsey
I had nothing to do with these deals, actually, but.
Ken Coleman
But I always do. Don't. I'm like, man, Dave is killing me on these books of mine are so cheap.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, prices as low as 6.99. That's hardcover books, no less. Must be an overstock on something. That's all I'm saying.
Ken Coleman
There it is, folks. I confessed it. I confronted it. We don't know how these deals got there.
Dave Ramsey
They're good deals. That's for sure. Brian's in Dallas. Hey, Brian, what's up?
Caller
Hey, Dave, how's it going?
Dave Ramsey
Better than I deserve. How can I help?
Caller
Hey, Dave, I'm closing on a property here soon, in the next couple weeks and wanted to get your wisdom on a few things. First of all, thanks for taking my call and, and just some context for who I am. I'm 27, making about $100,000 a year. And the property that we're closing on, we have the means to put down for the down payment, which is great. But as I was crunching the numbers and looking at our savings, we were thinking about possibly taking out a 401k loan or withdrawal to help with the down payment. Now, I know I've watched some of your videos and you've explained not to do that and things like that. So just call in to get your input and get wisdom on creative ways we can put for the down payment.
Dave Ramsey
You already have the down payment. Leave your 401k alone.
Caller
Yeah, yeah.
Dave Ramsey
Keep your hands off of it.
Caller
Okay.
Dave Ramsey
If you can't afford the house, then tell them and see if you can get out of the house. Deal. But don't mess with stinking 401k. Like you said, that's for obvious reasons. Your wealth is going to come from paying your house off and from building your 401k, not from destroying it. And borrowing on your 401k is never a good idea, ever. There's no circumstance. And withdrawing on 401k, of course you're going to get taxes and penalties and everything else, and so. And you're not even able to withdraw a 401k while you still work there. So. No, I would not ever use my retirement money to buy a house, ever. No, wouldn't do it. And I wouldn't do it to increase your down payment when you already have your down payment. Ryan is in Indianapolis. Hey, Ryan. How are you?
Caller
Good. How are you doing?
Dave Ramsey
Better than I deserve. What's up?
Caller
Yeah, so my dad passed away a few months ago and he set my mom up pretty well. He's a lifetime farmer. Built a pretty good net worth, very conservative. And by the time he has a trust set up and by the time that all the ground and equipment, there's still room for about one and a half million dollars of cash that we could put towards the trust. And my mom is considering disclaiming that cash to go ahead and give it to myself and my two brothers and. And I'm a little concerned about taking. Taking on that much cash. My brothers went through a divorce in his lifetime and we want to do what we can to protect what my dad's built his whole life. And I want to pay off My house. And that's what my mom would like to see me do with the cash that she'd give me. And my suggestion was to put it in the trust, leave it there, and I take a lo from the trust instead and kind of pay back the loan or pay back the trust instead of the bank to keep it from becoming a marital asset right off the bat.
Dave Ramsey
So the million and a half would be yours?
Caller
Well, it'd be split between myself and my two brothers.
Dave Ramsey
And so you would get a half a million dollars?
Caller
Yes.
Dave Ramsey
So you don't trust your wife with a half a million dollars?
Caller
It's not that I don't trust trust her, but, you know, we've seen what's. What money can do to families.
Dave Ramsey
Half million dollars is not that much money.
Caller
It's. It's not. But it can be spent very quickly.
Ken Coleman
Wait a second. Wait, wait, wait.
Dave Ramsey
You paid off your house. How are you going to spend it?
Caller
Well, I'm saying that, you know, if. If my. If I pay off my house, I've got more income now coming in from my.
Dave Ramsey
So be on a budget with your wife. What's wrong with your marriage?
Caller
Ryan, it's very hard to control financially if we're not on a very strict budget. And an allowance, essentially, it disappears.
Ken Coleman
But wouldn't pay off your house, make it even more stable?
Dave Ramsey
No more money to disappear at this point.
Ken Coleman
Yeah, but.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, because he can't get along with his wife.
Caller
Right.
Dave Ramsey
So how long have you been married?
Caller
Six years.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. I would not accept the money until you get your marriage healed. Your marriage is a mess.
Caller
That's what you know.
Dave Ramsey
No, I don't want to create some kind of a faux backflip, double limited partnership trust crap. So you won't deal with your wife. No, I don't want to do that. You need to deal with your wife and then get your marriage and your life straightened out. And then we'll talk about properly handling wealth. But there's nothing. There is no legal mechanism that makes people that aren't behaving behave. You're dreaming, Ryan. You can't have your cake and eat it, too. You're going to have to deal with your home. Your home is a wreck. When you deal with your home, then it's a safe place to bring a lousy half million dollars into. But your home isn't safe for a half million dollars right now. So don't put a half million dollars into in it in any shape or form until you get your marriage worked on and quit trying to dream up some Side angle crap to not have to deal with what's right in front of your dadgum nose. You've got to deal with this. And if you don't your marriage is going to end and there's no all this crap is going to get drug into a divorce court no matter how what you do and you know you're all your little schemes and crap aren't going to work so you can't control this. You've got to heal it. There's a difference. Now you're going to do what you're going to do. But I would not accept the half million until you finished marriage counseling that was successful in creating a healed grown up relationship with my wife. You don't trust your wife? That's a bad place to live, dude. Yeah.
Ken Coleman
Yeah. Six years and to not have any kind of financial stability and trust, you could feel it all over him. So wow, wow, wow. Yeah, I like that advice.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. You and your mom and your brother are trying to connive something up here against your wife. This is a bad medicine. Bad juju dude. Really bad.
Ken Coleman
Well you know he mentioned his brother's divorce so he's feeling like snake bit too. Yeah, because of his marriage.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well no kidding.
Ken Coleman
Self fulfilled prophecy if you're not careful.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah but no mama needs to just you know the one needs a trust is your mother. Maybe but not you. No you don't. You don't need that money anywhere near your house right now because you've got other issues that are much more important, much higher priority than a lousy half a million dollars are paying off your. When you're tired of feeling stuck with money. There's just one solution. To get different results. You have to do something different. No one accidentally wins with money. You have to have a game plan. And that begins with our get started assessment. Go to ramseysolutions.com start answer some questions and we'll show you what steps to take next. Don't stay stuck. Take control of your money. Starting Today, go with ramseysolutions.com start. If you're working the baby steps, the best and fastest way to work the Ramsey plan is by using every dollar. It's more than just our budgeting app. It's the plan built right in. You track your progress. You get a personalized recommendation and coaching for your situation. It'll help you free up more money. Work the plan even faster. Getting out of debt, building wealth. It's like having one of us walking with you every day showing you the next right step and holding you accountable. We'll tell you the truth because we love you. Start every dollar for free by downloading it in the App Store or Google Play on the Zoom call. Coming up now is going to be Becky and Brian. Hey, guys, how are you?
Caller
Good day.
Dave Ramsey
Wonderful to have you guys. Where do you live? Live? Madison, Wisconsin. Okay, well, Merry Christmas. I see the Christmas tree in the background. You guys got it rocking. Good work.
Caller
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
How, how can we help you guys today? Thanks for taking our call. Yeah, I'll let my wife take the question here.
Caller
Hi, Dave. So I own a small business, a medical aesthetics practice here in our hometown. I'm a nurse practitioner and I've built my business debt free. I have no debt here at the business, and I. I make pretty heavily purchases every month that I just pay off with my debit card, you know, 10,000, sometimes upwards of $20,000 for products. And so my question is, in regards to getting a business credit card and the downfall of what that would be. I think we kind of live in the Ramsey mindset. We're debt free. I only purchase things if I have the funds to purchase them. So that was my question. What the harm would be in getting a business credit card for points?
Dave Ramsey
Well, if you only purchase things if you have the money, then a debit card will work, right?
Caller
Correct.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. And so your only motivation is points?
Caller
Well, I mean, yes, I was thinking of if I have to purchase it anyway, should I be trying to get. Get something in return? Because I have to, to then have additional funds?
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. And so is your business working? Are you making money? Are you successful?
Caller
I am.
Dave Ramsey
Good. Good for you. Congratulations. Well, that's where you make your money, in running your business well and in being who you are and providing the service that you provide. That's where all your profit comes from. That's where your prosperity will come from, is in being you. I can tell you're probably really good at this. You can see it kind of in the camera right now. So you are the secret sauce, not some side hustle gathering up points. And so I've concentrated at Ramsey on helping people with their money or helping people with their leadership or the different things that we do here, not in trying to gather up something on the side. I just go do what we do with excellence. And that's where all of our prosperity has come. And because the points are a scam, 78% of them are never redeemed. That's crazy. 8 out of 10. And by the way, if you spend $100,000 on this and you get 1%, that's $1,000. So there's no formula on planet Earth that says spending 100,000 to get a thousand is a formula for wealth building.
Caller
Building.
Dave Ramsey
That's a really, really, really silly trade. Your time and your brain calories are worth a lot more than you'll be spending chasing a couple of points here or there that are $500 or $1,000 here or there that you make back. You can make that in 20 seconds doing what you do if you concentrate on that instead of the other things. But instead they got you concentrating on their business model, which is to get you possibly into debt. Cause one month things are a little tight, then you don't pay it off, and then there you are. That never happens with a debit card, though. So we don't have any credit cards at Ramsey. And we teach entree leaders, we coach about 10,000 small businesses all over America to use debit cards. And just don't bother with the points because that momentary flex where you change your brain from doing what it does so well to going over here and trying to beat up citibank for a 1%, the trade off is not worth it. Your brain is worth more working on things that matter. Ken.
Ken Coleman
Yeah. One of my vices. You two confessing this is late night ice cream. It's a real problem. And I'm at the stage in life where late night ice cream comes with a consequence. So you know what I do to avoid late night ice cream? You guys want to take a guess?
Dave Ramsey
Don't eat it.
Ken Coleman
I don't have ice cream in my house. There's no ice cream in the house.
Dave Ramsey
Now can.
Ken Coleman
I know. I know.
Dave Ramsey
What kind of a father are you?
Ken Coleman
The kids can go get it. There's an ice cream shop in my neighborhood. But, you know, it's a simple little idea, but you get the point. And Dave's right. There is. It's not just the one month. It gets a little tight and we got a little security blanket. It's also a temptation. And if it's in the freezer, there's a good chance I'm going to walk by and grab it and get a bowl of it. And so you just got to be very careful with this is psychology. There is psychology in money. And Dave has figured it out. What I don't think people realize sometimes is how much psychology are in the baby steps. Because he sat and he listened to people for years and years and years and developed something that is not just about momentum, but it's also about the Psychology of money. And I think that we. We can't forget that the points seem to be a real benefit, but what it. What it of what it's going to do is potentially trap you just like those late night calories for me.
Dave Ramsey
You got awesome. Yeah. You're an incredible couple. Thank you. Said that so much more nicely than we thought you were going to. Well, thank you for coming on. And hey, that was. That was pretty risky. You guys took our big risk jumping on here, so thank you for doing that. And, you know, the joke we always use is, we've never met a millionaire said, I made all my money with my points, and so that's what it all comes down to. So, hey, thanks for joining us. That's Becky and Brian. Good job, you guys. All right, fun. So we've integrated a few of these zoom calls here or there because so many of you watch on YouTube and on video and Spotify and some of our other platforms are now carrying video as well. So we want to make sure we're kind of including all that in there. So something new. I've done talk radio for 35 years, and now I get to do some zoom calls.
Ken Coleman
Well, I will tell you selfishly, I don't know if you feel this way, but I really enjoy. I've been able to do two or three of these now, and I enjoy it because we can see emotion. We can see things that sometimes we can't always hear. We've learned how to hear things. But if you have to be careful.
Dave Ramsey
Though, I think I'm nicer on the zoom calls.
Ken Coleman
Oh, really?
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. I think I need to. I think I need to not. I don't need to fall for that, but it's about looking at their pretty, cute little faces, and I don't want to destroy it.
Ken Coleman
Well, that. Boy, that. That is an interesting take right there. Will you be tough, Dave Looking right at somebody.
Dave Ramsey
I gave him the right answer, but I wasn't. I wasn't snarky.
Ken Coleman
No, you were very.
Dave Ramsey
Wasn't mean.
Ken Coleman
You were very Christmasy.
Dave Ramsey
Sometimes I was very Christmasy. Yeah. That's it.
Ken Coleman
Santa Davis on the video calls. By the way, quick question.
Dave Ramsey
I'm going to get you some ice cream. Ken Coleman at the break.
Ken Coleman
By the way, that was the truth.
Dave Ramsey
That is a crazy thing right there.
Ken Coleman
It's a truth. Well, everybody's got their advice. Whatever your food.
Dave Ramsey
You know, one of our senior leaders here eats a thing of graters every night. You know who I'm talking about?
Ken Coleman
I do.
Dave Ramsey
He has this whole ice he has one freezer full of graters, and he eats it. One little thing every night.
Ken Coleman
If I could pull it off, I would. I love it. Affects the waistline, which then affects the pickleball game. No question. I got a question for you. You've been watching and analyzing coaching people for a long time. He's no longer on the call, but I thought Brian and I thought he. He was. He was in. He was on our side of things.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, no kidding.
Ken Coleman
It was pretty obvious.
Dave Ramsey
She was totally set up. But she knew she was set up. She did.
Ken Coleman
But he just sat right back and just.
Dave Ramsey
He just let. Let us handle it. Yeah. He had already told her what we were going to say, and she knew.
Caller
She did.
Dave Ramsey
That was not.
Ken Coleman
He's a smart guy, though.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah.
Ken Coleman
That's a pro move.
Dave Ramsey
That was a handle. That was a flex. Yeah. Just step back and step back and let someone else. I saw the same thing you did.
Ken Coleman
I was like, look at this guy. He's back there. No sweat.
Dave Ramsey
I'm going to let my wife ask this question.
Caller
Yeah, yeah.
Dave Ramsey
Yes. She has the question.
Ken Coleman
I think Brian got the answer he wanted. Good for him. But to speak to that. Dave, on the. On the real, the temptation for small businesses, how realistic what you said could happen These days?
Dave Ramsey
We're hearing as much as 60% of small businesses have credit card debt related to the business. Yeah. Starting and. Or operating the business.
Caller
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
That is mathematical suicide. You know, we know that. And I don't know if the stat's true, but it's been around so long, Everybody believes it. 80% of small businesses fail in the first five years. It's an SBA stat.
Ken Coleman
That's right.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. And that's probably true, but it also includes businesses that never really started. Hardly. But of those we do know, and I do think this is true, the number one problem is cash flow. Cash flow means they don't have any money. It means because they have debt payments and they don't pay their taxes. And those are the things destroy cash flow. And that runs you out of business. So we do know that's true. So stay away from that crap and run your business. That's the idea.
Ken Coleman
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Dave Ramsey
You.
Ken Coleman
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Dave Ramsey
Our scripture of the day, first Peter 4:10. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms. H. Jackson Brown said, talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller skates. Plenty of movement, but you never know if it's going to be forward, backward, or sideways.
Ken Coleman
That's some real depth right there. Every hiring manager should read that quote.
Dave Ramsey
That's the truth. You know, H. Jackson Brown did a book 30 years ago called Life's Little Instruction Book.
Ken Coleman
Yes.
Dave Ramsey
And that's what this comes from, I'm sure. And it was notes to his son, one liners like this to his son, and it became a huge bestseller. And I met him back in those days. I was just starting. The first book had just come out.
Ken Coleman
I didn't know that. I'm very jealous.
Dave Ramsey
He's from Nashville.
Ken Coleman
Is that right?
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, he's from here.
Ken Coleman
Octopus on roller Skates.
Dave Ramsey
That's pretty cool. It's good. Good movement. Yeah. Morgan is with us in Tampa, Florida. Hey, Morgan, how are you?
Caller
I'm doing better than I deserve, Dave. How are you?
Dave Ramsey
Just the same. How come we help?
Caller
I was hoping to get some insight on whether my husband and I can upgrade our hunk of junk of a car, even though we're temporarily down to one income. So I can fill in some details for you.
Dave Ramsey
Do you have the cash to do it?
Caller
Yes. So we're in baby step 4, 5, and 6. We've got about $60,000 in cash. That includes 20,000 for the emergency fund and 10 for a business that I'm hoping to get off the ground after I sit for and hopefully pass the bar in Florida.
Dave Ramsey
Good. Good for you.
Caller
So we were looking to spend somewhere between 10 and 20, hopefully a little closer to 20. But I just feel a little weird about kind of rating the war chest while we're kind of a little bit in stork or like in a little bit of a crisis right now.
Dave Ramsey
I mean, can you cover your bills with the one income?
Caller
Yes. So we can.
Dave Ramsey
You're not in a crisis, you're just not in a time of prosperity.
Caller
Yeah, I guess that's more accurate. It just feels a little weird to kind of read the war chest.
Dave Ramsey
Well, it's not really a war chest. The war chest is labeled emergency fund. It's 20. The war chest is labeled 10 for starting a business, and you're not touching either one of those. Okay, so I think you're using the wrong term.
Ken Coleman
Yeah. That means you got 30 more. And you know what?
Dave Ramsey
Go for it. You've got savings.
Ken Coleman
Get a $10,000 car, and then when things get a little bit more stable, you can always sell that.
Dave Ramsey
What's the hunk of junk worth if you sold it?
Caller
I don't think it's really worth much. I think the blue book on it is like $2,500.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. So 2500. Minor 2500. And you put 12.5with it, and you get a $15,000 car.
Caller
Okay.
It sounds more straightforward, I guess. Just feels like a very emotional decision, so.
Dave Ramsey
Well, it is, because you draw security from the savings, and that's why you call it a war chest. You get security from looking at those numbers more than you do from looking at that hunk of junk upgraded.
Caller
That's probably true. It's cost us like $2,500 this year, and now we need another $2,500 repair, so.
Dave Ramsey
Nah, I'll spend 2,500 on $2,500 car. Don't do that. Okay.
Caller
I guess that makes it an easy decision.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, Just sell it as is and let's move. You don't have to move. You don't have to move up all of it. We're not going to buy a $65,000 car. Hoping you pass the bar. That's not what we're talking about. Okay. We're doing. I mean, this is very, very reasonable, what you've described. And you're paying cash, and you're probably not going to drive the car that you buy, but about a year.
Caller
Okay.
Dave Ramsey
Because it sounds like you're going to start your own practice once you pass, right?
Caller
What I hope. Yeah, I'm practiced in. I'm licensed in Pennsylvania, but we recently moved. So sitting for the Pennsylvania or sitting for the Florida bar hopefully will pass.
Dave Ramsey
So it's not reciprocal?
Caller
No, not in Florida. Florida is very protective of their attorney, unfortunately.
Dave Ramsey
Very interesting. Okay. All right. And so. So you have an existing practice back in Pennsylvania.
Caller
So I left my job with the federal government. I work in a really niche area of law and veterans benefit. So right now I just kind of want to focus on the bar and then hope.
Dave Ramsey
What are you going to. What type of practice are you opening?
Caller
I want to keep it the same. So veterans benefits, mostly disability Veterans law is what I'm hoping to do. I did that for about three years.
Okay, back in.
Dave Ramsey
That's interesting. Okay, cool. Good for you.
Ken Coleman
What's the.
Dave Ramsey
The good news is you're probably going to ramp it up pretty quick. That's why I was asking all that.
Ken Coleman
What I was about to ask. That's why realistically, how long if you pass the bar before you're up and running and making money?
Caller
I mean, so the outlook on that can be anywhere. Cases can take anywhere between like seven, seven months to a year. And that's kind of what the 10 grand is for. That can kind of COVID my base operating expenses for a year. I won't have an office or anything like that. So it'll cover like the legal research and all those kind of ancillary costs.
Ken Coleman
But again, you guys are already covered all your basics with your other income.
Caller
Yeah, I think it's really just wanted that stamp of approval. I feel a little bit of peace about it.
Dave Ramsey
I appreciate it. I appreciate talking. Yeah. But it's not. But I guess our other point, the reason why I was concerned, all that question is that the practice getting up and running is yet further insurance in addition to the savings numbers. That this is a wise decision. That's why we're asking all the questions. So you got a one, two punch. Wise and wise. Because if you told me, oh, it might be five years and this might fail and I've never done it before and I don't know what I'm doing and we may never get my income back.
Ken Coleman
And ask yourself this, what are the chances this $2,500 hooptie blows up in the next 30 days? Days, I'd say pretty high. At which point you gotta get a car.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. So let's. Yeah, let's do it. Remington is in Memphis. Hey, Remington. Remington. Great. How can we help?
Caller
Oh, it's kind of plan future stuff. We're looking at building a house next to my parents and sister and then also my brother. So having a little family compound area, trying to figure out if you recommend doing like a. Only doing cash flow for the money or 15 year mortgage. We don't have the, you know, the funds to cash flow right now. But then we also have an offer from my dad to help cash flow up front and then, you know, to avoid red tape from the bank and then switch over to a mortgage afterwards.
Dave Ramsey
That one I would stay away from. I would just get a construction loan and build it and put it on a 15 year fixed to the degree that you can't Cash flow it yourself. And of course, you got to make sure this is on a separate plot. If you build a home on someone else's land, you're screwed.
Caller
Yeah, it's our land. So he recently.
Dave Ramsey
No, it's not our land.
Caller
Well, my wife and I's.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, you have a. They've parceled it out. It has a property line, and everything inside that property line is only owned by you, not your dad.
Caller
Correct. He recently split it into three to me and, okay, two of my siblings. So we own it all now, and we're looking at.
Dave Ramsey
And if something happened to you and your wife were widowed and she wanted to sell it, she can do that, Right? Okay. She might not want to live there.
Caller
Okay.
Dave Ramsey
You might not want to live there 10 years from now. Everybody got that emotionally figured out. Yeah.
Caller
I mean, we nearby right now, so we're able to set those boundaries and stuff now.
Dave Ramsey
So, okay, you got a separate parcel, but that doesn't mean that somebody's not. Well, dad said we could never sell it. He gave it to us, but said with the stipulation, we could never say, sell it now. Then you're screwed. We don't want to. I don't want to get. I do not want to get trapped. Some blessings are a trap, and those are called curses. So, no, don't. Just make sure that there's lots of movement here, lots of places and things that can be done if our lives change and shift. And nobody's going to be permanently pissed off for the next 42 years over one little piece of dirt, and that's what happens. So be real careful with that part, and you pay your own way without your dad, and then you'll be in good shape. So. Good question.
Ken Coleman
I just have to believe, though, push back on this one that family compounds come with the expectations that we're all there for.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, that's the problem.
Ken Coleman
That's what I would.
Dave Ramsey
What's the problem? It's very, very difficult to have, you know, reasonable lives.
Ken Coleman
And then. Who wants to buy house? You're in the real estate world.
Dave Ramsey
You've been.
Ken Coleman
Who wants to buy one house? Oneoff in a family compound.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. Okay. All right. It's a problem. It's a problem.
Caller
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
People don't think these things through. Yeah. That puts us hour of the Ramsay show in the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the prince of peace, Christ Jesus.
Caller
Sam.
Episode: My Dad Wants Me To Give Him My $300,000 Trust
Date: December 3, 2025
Hosts: Dave Ramsey & Ken Coleman
In this episode, Dave Ramsey and Ken Coleman tackle listeners' toughest financial dilemmas with their hallmark directness, humor, and empathy. The central segment addresses a caller whose father wants him to release a $300,000 trust, sparking a larger discussion on boundaries, family dynamics, and financial wisdom. Other callers seek advice on job loss, negotiating with debt collectors, student loans in marriage, setting boundaries with parents, and work-life balance.
[00:57–06:47] Caller Jack’s Dilemma:
Dave & Ken’s Advice:
[10:36–20:15] Caller John from San Jose:
Advice:
[22:33–30:31] Caller Josh:
Advice:
[39:20–40:02] Caller Jeff:
Advice:
[49:26–51:02] Caller Bea:
Advice:
[65:01–71:31] Caller Megan:
Advice:
[76:39–84:53] Caller Brian (Software Engineer):
Advice:
Direct, no-nonsense, with a blend of tough love, humor, and warm empathy. The hosts tackle uncomfortable truths, offer practical scripts for hard conversations, and always circle back to preserving dignity, self-control, and integrity.
This episode serves as a masterclass in maintaining boundaries—financial and emotional—with family, handling crisis with composure and action, and always prioritizing one’s own integrity and well-being over short-term pressure or temptation. Whether navigating trust funds, layoffs, or family drama, Ramsey and Coleman remind listeners: protect your future by making wise, principled choices today.