My Husband Refuses To Work And Still Lives Off His Parents

Summary

The Ramsey Show – Episode Summary

Episode Title: My Husband Refuses To Work And Still Lives Off His Parents
Date: January 22, 2026
Hosts: Rachel Cruze & Dr. John Delony

---

Episode Overview

This episode of The Ramsey Show addresses a range of personal finance and relationship challenges. The central theme centers around accountability, communication, and clear, actionable steps for overcoming financial and relational hurdles. The episode features callers dealing with marriage conflicts over finances, overwhelming debt, adult children living at home, and navigating tough decisions like bankruptcy, prenups, and foreclosure. The Ramsey team provides direct, practical advice with a focus on character, responsibility, and fostering hope.

---

Key Discussion Points & Caller Highlights

---

1. Caller: Hannah in Salt Lake City

Main Topic: Husband Refuses to Work, Depends on Parents’ Gifts
Timeframe: 00:43–08:32

Situation:

• Hannah’s husband (late 30s, welder by trade, physically healthy) refuses to work, does sporadic odd jobs/as needed, and receives annual large gifts ($10k–$20k) from his parents.
• She covers the mortgage, utilities, most childcare, and all household bills from her school district salary.
• Marriage has growing resentment and a lack of transparency about his whereabouts.

Key Advice & Moments:

• Rachel Cruze: "Money's usually a revealing topic on how the marriage is doing. Usually it's not really a money issue. It's more a reflection of what's going on in the marriage." (03:19)
• John Delony: "He has no character...But you can't make him do anything, right? The ultimate question is, are you going to leave or are you not?" (04:14–05:52)
• Advice: Don’t wait for your spouse to change. Make concrete choices about whether to stay and accept the situation—or set boundaries and potentially leave.
• Legal caution: Consult an attorney before assuming what assets a spouse may have rights to in divorce. Each state differs. (07:35)

---

2. Caller: Francisco in West Palm Beach, FL

Main Topic: Facing $350,000 in Business and Personal Debt
Timeframe: 10:33–17:17

Situation:

• 30 years old, $350k debt (lines of credit, credit cards, SBA business loans, car loans).
• Business revenue has dropped; one business closed, trying to run another from home with heavy expenses.

Key Advice:

• Rachel Cruze: Focus on liquidating whatever possible (equipment, vehicles) and negotiating debts, especially those in collections. Bankruptcy is only a last resort. (15:00–16:37)
• John Delony: "You have to go get two or three jobs...your wife's going to have to get jobs...Call Guardian Litigation for professional debt settlement advice." (16:37)

---

3. Caller: Elizabeth in Honolulu

Main Topic: Debt Payoff vs. Saving for House After Military Retirement
Timeframe: 17:19–19:15

Situation:

• $8,000 in zero interest debt, $21,000 savings, expecting $50,000 more saved, planning to buy a home with VA loan post-retirement.

Key Advice:

• Pay off the debt now, then fully fund an emergency fund before buying.
• Avoid VA loans if possible; consider renting first in a new state to "exhale and get to know the area." (19:32)

---

4. Caller: Walt in Baton Rouge

Main Topic: Charging Adult Daughter Rent & Strained Relationship
Timeframe: 21:55–31:16

Situation:

• 23-year-old daughter, registered nurse, debt-free and living at home. Parents charge $300/month rent plus grocery split. Daughter calls it "stealing," causing tension.

Key Quotes & Advice:

• John Delony: "You're a good dad and you and your wife are loving your daughter well." (23:44)
• "I'm not gonna have a mean spirit in my home...Anything other than gratitude...that's behavior is a language." (24:12–25:55)
• Adult children living at home should expect to contribute or move out; setting this boundary is loving and appropriate.

---

5. Caller: Elizabeth in St. Louis

Main Topic: High-Interest Mobile Home Loan, Debt Concerns
Timeframe: 33:51–42:30

Situation:

• Pays $956/mo at 10.44% interest on a $73k balance; limited additional debts; unsure of precise household income.
• Husband recently bought an expensive truck; finances are tight.

Key Advice:

• Review all household finances together via a detailed budget.
• Work aggressively to pay off small debts and consider selling the truck if it can’t be paid off in 18 months.
• Rachel Cruze: "If he's making around $4,000, this payment is not your issue. It's other things happening with debt payments and all of that." (39:18)

---

6. Caller: Amanda in Denver, CO

Main Topic: Late-in-Life Parents Want to Catch Up on Retirement
Timeframe: 44:29–51:53

Situation:

• Couple (42F/48M), no retirement savings, just had a new baby, $30,000 in cash, $90k/year income, house with $300k equity.

Key Advice:

• Start retirement investing aggressively now (at least 15% of income).
• Meet with a SmartVestor Pro, use Roth IRAs and 401(k) with match if available.
• John Delony: "The couples that do well are the ones who put a period at the end of that old life and not try to reclaim what was, but to rebuild something totally new." (49:36)

---

7. Question of the Day: Financial Incompatibility in Relationships

Timeframe: 54:44–58:35

Situation:

• Caller considering ending a relationship due to partner’s $60k in debt and poor financial habits/not following through on promised changes.

Key Perspective:

• Behavior is the issue, not the debt. Mismatched money values and unkept promises are valid deal-breakers; marrying someone whose actions and words don’t match is a red flag.

---

8. Caller: Susan in Dayton, OH

Main Topic: Contractor Delay, House Project Months Overdue
Timeframe: 58:35–63:47

Situation:

• Paid almost full budget for $313k home addition, project months overdue, contractor offers excuses, low communication reliability.

Key Advice:

• Sit down with a clear, tough conversation; set a new contract with deadlines and consequences; consult a lawyer if necessary.
• John Delony: "We've given you $300,000...this job is now going on three to four months overdue. I'm very close to calling an attorney..." (61:36)

---

9. Caller: Alice in Boise, ID

Main Topic: Moving Retirement Accounts from Husband’s Brother (Family) to 3rd Party
Timeframe: 65:46–71:49

Situation:

• Husband wants to move investments from his brother (a financial planner) to outside advisor to avoid potential future family awkwardness.

Key Advice:

• It's acceptable to have boundaries between family and finances. Have an honest, respectful conversation; prioritize your marriage’s comfort and unity over possible family awkwardness.

---

10. Caller: Ann in Seattle, WA

Main Topic: Prenup and Blended Family—Assets, Transparency, Living Arrangements
Timeframe: 85:59–101:04

Situation:

• Engaged for two years, both have adult children, property, businesses, and disparities in debt/asset transparency; fiancé wants a prenup and to remain in marital home from previous marriage.

Key Advice:

• Prenups can protect adult children and assets in a second marriage, but only if both parties have full financial transparency and legal representation.
• Emotional red flag: If you don't know your partner's finances clearly, you aren't ready to get married.
• John Delony: "You're about to become his wife. What if he owes $20 million in back taxes and debt? You want to know." (93:02)
• Align on life values and logistics (including living arrangements) before proceeding.

---

11. Debt-Free Scream: Nick & Renee from Chicago

Timeframe: 106:00–114:48

Story:

• Paid off $160,000 in six years
• Used Ramsey principles, repeated Financial Peace University for motivation
• Open communication and teamwork key to marriage and success

Memorable Moment:

• "He was just like, 'okay, let's do this.' Every time I would get super upset...he was just like, 'nope, this is ours. We're doing this together.'" – Renee (110:38)

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• John Delony on Passivity in Marriage (04:14): "He has no character...you can't make him do anything. So where that leaves you is a series of really hard choices."
• Rachel Cruze on Money as a Revealer (03:19): "Money's usually a revealing topic on how the marriage is doing."
• John Delony on Adult Children at Home (24:16): "I'm not gonna have a mean spirit in my home. And especially when I've been loving you well for all this time."
• Rachel Cruze on Behavior vs Intentions (55:25): "Saying one thing and doing another–behavior is a language."
• Rachel Cruze Advice on Sinking Funds (122:48): "Sinking funds have an end date—almost more like a goal...for things like Christmas or a trip...not line-items for ongoing expenses."

---

Timestamps for Important Sections

| Timestamp | Section/Caller | Main Topic | |-----------|----------------|------------| | 00:43 | Hannah (SLC) | Unemployed husband, marriage breakdown, financial boundaries | | 10:33 | Francisco (FL) | Overwhelming business debt, possible bankruptcy | | 17:19 | Elizabeth (HI) | Pay off debt vs. saving for house after military | | 21:55 | Walt (LA) | Charging adult daughter rent, relationship strains | | 33:51 | Elizabeth (MO) | High-interest mobile home, budget review | | 44:29 | Amanda (CO) | Late birth, no retirement savings, starting over | | 54:44 | Nora (MA, email question) | Financial incompatibility as a relationship deal-breaker | | 58:35 | Susan (OH) | Contractor delays, enforcing house addition deadline | | 65:46 | Alice (ID) | Family/friend as financial advisor | | 85:59 | Ann (WA) | Prenup, lack of transparency, blended family of adults | | 106:00 | Nick & Renee | $160k Debt-Free Scream, marriage teamwork |

---

Tone & Language

• Direct, candid, compassionate: The hosts speak honestly, sometimes bluntly ("He has no character"; "I'm not gonna have a mean spirit in my home") but always with the goal of providing clarity and help.
• Tough love: Encouragement is mixed with accountability, urging callers to take action, set boundaries, and avoid victimhood.
• Hopeful and practical: Hosts stress that starting now, honesty, and persistence are more important than past mistakes, and provide concrete next steps and resources.

---

Final Thoughts

The episode is a clear testament to the Ramsey philosophy: Financial peace and personal wholeness come from intentionality, honesty, and action. Whether facing job loss, marital strife, parental boundaries, or the daunting climb out of debt, the answers always loop back to personal responsibility, clear communication, and incremental steps forward. The recurring advice is: Don’t let fear, denial, or wishful thinking dictate your financial or relational life—choose clarity, boundaries, and movement.

---

For further resources or to connect with a Ramsey SmartVestor Pro, visit ramseysolutions.com.

---

This summary captures the core content, major perspectives, and action steps from each caller scenario, preserving the original tone and advice from Rachel Cruze, Dr. John Deloney, and the participating callers.

Transcript

[John Deloney]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today.

[Rachel Cruze]

Normal is broke and common sense is weird. So we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network in the Fairwinds Credit Union studio, this is the Ramsey show. And I'm Rachel Cruz hosting this hour with Dr. John Deloney. And we are answering your calls. So give us a call at AAA 825-5225. We'll be talking about your life and your money. Starting us off this hour is Hannah in Salt Lake City. Hi, Hannah. Welcome to the show.

[Caller]

Hi, thanks for having me.

[Rachel Cruze]

Absolutely. How can we help today?

[Caller]

Hi. So I have kind of a two part question. So I got married about two and a half years ago. It's my second marriage. I have a teenage daughter from my first marriage, but my current husband, we have a toddler about a year and a half old. And he is a welder by trade and he is very physically capable. He's in his late 30s and I'm in my early 40s. He refuses to work. I work for a school district, so it's not like I make a ton of money, but I make enough to cover the bill. The house that we live in is mine. I bought it in 2020, thankfully. But again, we've been married since 2023, and we put our child in daycare four days a week. And he does. He watches her one day a week, which is really nice because childcare is incredibly expensive. But there's a lot of resentment on my end building up because he just. Absolutely.

[Rachel Cruze]

What's he doing the other four days, Hannah? What's he, where's he going? What's he doing?

[Caller]

That's a good question. So he's from a town that's about an hour away. So he'll go back over there and he'll hang out with friends. And sometimes he picks up odd jobs, I guess. I don't. I don't really know. I ask him all the time what he's doing and he just always kind of has a, you know, weird, ambiguous answer. His parents also gift him. They gift him money like every year, like at Christmas time. His parents, like, yeah, his parents, they'll give him like 10,000 or $20,000. And that's kind of what he lives off of because all, all he has to pay for his own, you know, like gas and then, you know, substances and so y' all are not food he wants.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, so money's not combined. So he makes 10 to 20,000 from his parents once a year. And then Some odd jobs, and he's in charge of a certain number of bills. You pay, probably the mortgage and other things, and it comes out of your salary.

[Caller]

Yes, I pay. I pay the mortgage. All of our utilities, we do. Now, as of the last couple of months, we do split the childcare bill, because I was, you know, frustrated that he didn't want to stay home or work, and so I said that was kind of the deal we needed.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, Hannah, do you feel like you have major marriage issues?

[John Deloney]

Yeah.

[Caller]

No, we.

[John Deloney]

I feel like you do.

[Rachel Cruze]

I'm asking.

[John Deloney]

I feel like you do.

[Rachel Cruze]

Well, because what's interesting, Hannah, always. And John can get into this, but money's usually a revealing topic on how the marriage is doing. Usually it's not really a money issue. It's more a reflection of what's going on in the marriage. And so when you're. Everything you're describing to me is that he doesn't hold a lot of character in who he is as a person. Not only is he not being upfront and honest with you with what he's doing on the days that he's, like, driving back to his old town, which kind of. I don't feel good about that, let alone not working, not wanting to participate as a married couple in the household responsibility, like, all of that, to me, is a breakdown of character, which will be a breakdown in the marriage, because that's who you're married to.

[John Deloney]

So, Hannah, I have a hard thing to say. Is that cool?

[Caller]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Deloney]

All right, just for the rest of this call, I don't want to hear about this. This guy at all. Okay?

[Caller]

Okay.

[John Deloney]

And this is why you. He has no character. He's not. He's. As speaking on behalf of all men. This is not a man, okay? It's not somebody that's taking care of their kid. It's not somebody's taking care of their wife. It's not somebody who. Who has enough dignity when they look in the mirror to get up and go to work and be somebody who provides. Somebody who provides more than they take. Okay? But you can't make him do anything, right? And so where that leaves you with is a series of really hard choices. And so my question for you is, what are you gonna do next? Because just sitting at home, wanting this to be different and thinking, well, fine, then you have to Venmo me for all of the iced tea you drink. Like, that's not a solution, right?

[Caller]

Yeah, he.

[John Deloney]

That's. That's just you trying to flick him in the ear back while he's you know, I'm saying, so it's not a solution. So the ultimate question is, are you going to leave or if you're not, then if you are, that's one track. If you're going to stay, then you're saying, okay, I'm choosing to stay here. I'm choosing to. If there is good somewhere in this, in this man, I'm choosing to look at that and I'm going to make peace with what I've got. And I've got to go solve this math problem I have financially. I got to solve child care. I, I got to go solve these problems. You get what I'm saying? But sit. Sitting in the limbo just waiting for somebody else to be different. He's not going to change.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, let me, I'm asking John this on your behalf, Hannah, because as you explain that, I agree. But if she so say she did part one right and she leaves Y, is there a, is there a reality though that she sits him down and says, I need X, Y and Z to change or I'm leaving. Like, like, is that absolutely.

[John Deloney]

Yeah, yeah. But, but that just. If you, if you'll tell me there's no way I'm ever going to leave him. I've been through divorce before. I will not do that again. Okay, then that's good for you to know. That's a, that's a boundary for you. So now I have to learn to live inside these castle walls that I've built for myself. If that is an option, then yes, I think he deserves as your husband. Even though he's failing every way from here to Sunday, he deserves. Here is a path to trust. Here is a path that you can walk that would reestablish you as my co. Creator of the life that we want to build together.

[Rachel Cruze]

So, Hannah, my question to you is, is option one and two on the table or are you someone that. Because what you've gone through, you're like, nope, it's just going to be option two and I have to go from there. Do you know just like as a knee jerk reaction?

[Caller]

Well, sort of. So. And also part of why I called in. And I know this probably sounds awful, but it is something that I think about is though I have retirement through my job, through the school district, plus an IRA and a 401k that I put money into. Like, I'm very, very financially responsible. I don't have any debt other than my mortgage.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah.

[Caller]

And he has, he has a ton of debt. Like he racks up credit card debt. Obviously because he doesn't work. So if we divorce, I know he's entitled to half of my retirement for the length of our marriage and half the equity in the home. Maybe the marriage.

[John Deloney]

Maybe. Maybe.

[Caller]

Okay, well, that's good to know.

[John Deloney]

And then I would challenge you to not make any of those assumptions without sitting down with an attorney.

[Caller]

Okay.

[John Deloney]

Every state's different. Every situation's different. Some states have like, boilerplate, like, this is just how we do this. And other states take into all sorts of other things into account. So don't make any like. Well, since this is true, sit with an attorney and get those, those answers.

[Caller]

Okay. Yeah, he's. I mean, obviously like you. I mean, you guys are correct. Our marriage is not. Is not great because I have resentment because he refuses to provide for his family. And yeah, he has resentment towards me because there's, you know, I mean, it's a long story, but there's significant lack of intimacy in our marriage on my part. And part of that is my resentment towards him. The other part is I almost died in childbirth and it's been a series of surgeries and medical things that have happened since then.

[John Deloney]

Oh my gosh.

[Rachel Cruze]

That sounds. Yeah, that's a. That's a lot to unpack. So I would. I would probably sit down with someone.

[John Deloney]

Yeah, call somebody today. You can call our friends over at Better Help. You can go find a counselor in your area and you need to sit with an attorney and find out what the truth is, what your answers are, and what you need to do next. You know, one of the first things I discovered working in the financial world is how absolutely devastating it is when the breadwinner of a family dies and there's too little life insurance or none at all. Grieving families are suddenly left behind, scrambling to pay bills and trying to make ends meet. I also discovered that there are a lot of rip offs in the life insurance world. Like that whole life crap posing as an investment opportunity. What you need is level term life insurance, usually 10 to 12 times your income, which is the smartest, most affordable way to protect your family. The key is finding an independent broker who represents a ton of companies and works for you, not for the insurance company. This is exactly my friend Jeff Zander and his team at Zander Insurance are all about. They shop the term life companies to.

[Rachel Cruze]

Find you the best options.

[John Deloney]

And they've been around for over 95 years, so you know they'll be there when you need them. Zander is the real deal, and that's why they've handled all my Personal insurance for over 25 years. I trust them, and you can, too. Visit Zander.com for instant online quotes or for a more personal touch, give them a call at 800-356-4282.

[Rachel Cruze]

Next up, we have Francisco in West Palm Beach, Florida. Hi, Francisco. Welcome to the show.

[Caller]

Hello. Thank you. Thank you for having me.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yes, absolutely. How can we help?

[Caller]

Well, my question is because I'm 30 years old and I have about 350 grand in debt. So, yeah, I was thinking these days of at least declaring the company bankrupt or I don't know if myself as well, but yeah, then your videos came up, and then I started thinking otherwise.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, Gosh, Francisco, what kind of Debt is the 350,000?

[Caller]

50,000 is on a line of credit that is to the company, but it's personally guaranteed. And about 45,000 is in credit cards. And then about 200 are on an SBA loan. It's really two different loans for two different companies, like 140 and. And 60,000. And the one for 60s are already in collections. They sent me a letter Yesterday with like 20,000 in administrative fees and this and that, and that's why I started thinking all this. And then we have four vehicles, two for the company, and two is my wife and I, and one is paid off for the company. And in the rest we owe about 54,000.

[Rachel Cruze]

Combined or on each?

[Caller]

No, combined, combined.

[Rachel Cruze]

54, 000 car. Okay.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay. For the loans that have already gone into collection, how long has it been since you've been paying on those?

[Caller]

I've been paying since. Since COVID Because it was this. Covid SBA loans. But. But yeah, I was paying. I don't know what happened. It entered into collection, I assume not paying enough.

[Rachel Cruze]

Were you paying the minimum?

[Caller]

Yeah, I was paying the. The minimums on the. On the. On one of the SBA loans, the small one, but that one is already in collection. And then the other one, I haven't paid it in over a year.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay. And then that one is in collections as well.

[John Deloney]

Is your business failing, brother?

[Caller]

Well, it is failing. I've been doing a lot of accommodations because it was a franchise and they take 10%. They had me on an office, in an expensive office where now all the machines is in my garage, in my house, and, yeah, all sorts of things. So, you know, in the last year, I've been fixing it to at least I'm saving like 8,000amonth with all the changes we've done.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, you're saving 8,000 within the business or after your take home pay?

[Caller]

No, in the business.

[Rachel Cruze]

In the business. Okay.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

So you're putting 8,000 away. How much. How much will you make profit at the end of this year? If you keep. If you keep it going, if you don't file bankruptcy, what do you project?

[Caller]

My projection is more. It would be like 50,000, 60,000.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, gosh. What do you do?

[Caller]

Is a construction company.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay. And are there multiple companies? Because when you said there was a VA loan out for one company and then I got another loan for another company. Are there multiple companies or just.

[Caller]

The other one is sort of a consulting company.

[Rachel Cruze]

A consulting company. Okay. And is that still going? Are you still running that company or.

[Caller]

No, no. Really, where we're stopping and it's been so slow in the last couple years. Yeah, we're not running it anymore.

[John Deloney]

Okay, what. What do you have? When I'm thinking of vehicles, I'm thinking of tools, I'm thinking of machines to liquidate. If you went and sold everything today, Everything, just sold it all, what would you garner? Like, how much money would you have.

[Caller]

In one car that's paid off and, and the machines and everything? I could probably sell it for maybe like 50 grand. I can probably get at least 40 grand. Yeah.

[John Deloney]

For what about the second car that you have a note on.

[Caller]

The other cars upside down in two of them for about like 10,000 or so. Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, so you're bringing home about 60. Yeah, I mean, yeah, you're. This is a. This is a tough spot, Francisco. I mean, I never want to gear someone towards bankruptcy because we always want to look for a solution out. And the only solution I see for you on the horizon is going to be to get to do what you can with the business, to liquidate, you know, take whatever. What John was saying, anything that you can sell to get money back out of it, I would try to negotiate. You're gonna have to find the cash. But once you have some cash, if stuff goes into collections, you will be able to negotiate some of those things. I'm not sure about the VA loan and all of that, but.

[John Deloney]

And SBA administrative fees, I don't know anybody about anything about any of that.

[Rachel Cruze]

Stuff, whatever that looks like. But for most, most people that hold a debt that's in collections, whether this is credit card, medical, whatever it looks like, once it gets to collections, they're going to assume that you're not paying it, that you don't have the money for it. Right. And you don't right now. So what I would say, my hope would be that you can find, you know, multiple jobs. If you're married, have having your spouse work. I mean, like whatever you can do to earn some money during this time to start getting a plan to look at these, look at this debt and say, okay, how can we slowly, especially with the ones in collections, how can we start negotiating some of this down? And then the credit cards, I mean, honestly, I'd probably let those go to collections. Like, I think you know, the money for them right now. Right. So if you look up in 12 months and those are in collections, is there a way you can settle that? So it would take probably a good three to four years to climb out of this Francisco. But, but that would be the way to avoid bankruptcy.

[John Deloney]

You have to go get two or three jobs, your wife's going to have to get jobs. You're going to have to go work like crazy. Yep. Call, listen, I want you to call our friends at Guardian Litigation. It's a guardian lit.com Ramsey and they're a nationwide law firm that helps with debt settlements with collection issues. And they might be able to give you some guidance on, okay, the SBA stuff. Don't worry about this or the credit. Like, they'll be able to give you some sort of guidance like line by line with your various creditors and who's serious and who's not and all that kind of stuff. So check them out at guardianlit.com/ramsey and they'll give you some support and some help there.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah, I'm so sorry.

[John Deloney]

What an absolute mess.

[Rachel Cruze]

All right, let's go to Elizabeth in Honolulu. Hi, Elizabeth. Welcome to the show.

[Caller]

Hello. Thank you for taking my call.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yes. How can we help?

[Caller]

Yes, it's a two part question. My husband and I are on baby step two and have about $8,000 debt left at zero percent.

[John Deloney]

Okay.

[Caller]

I'm retiring from the military in about six to eight months. I joined when I was 17. The military has been my entire adult life. Plan to buy a home using a VA loan. We currently have about $21,000 in savings and we expect to save around another 50 combined by June. Okay, my first question is should we pause and stack cash for the house or should we pay off the $8,000 now to fully complete baby step number two?

[Rachel Cruze]

Yes, that the latter. So go ahead and pay off the 8,000 and then I want you to have a fully funded emergency fund, Elizabeth, before you purchase the home. Because once you guys get into this home stuff is going to start to happen. And if you have no cash available to support yourself as you're a homeowner, it's going to go bad real quick. Okay. So I want you to, so you can use some of this 21,000, you know, in order for that to be part of your emergency fund and maybe that is your full emergency fund. I'm not sure what your expenses are, but I would get a three to six month emergency fund and then the fact that you guys can save 50,000, that's amazing. So I would get at least a 5% down payments on a 15 year fixed rate mortgage where your payment is no more than 25% of your take home pay. So when you do all that math, if that's enough, then yes. And that's a great, a great place. And hey, and Elizabeth too, I would avoid the VA loans. If you can go just get a traditional, just a traditional mortgage, 15 year fixed. That's VA loan. They, they tend to have higher fees. There's a lot of stuff and it seems like a really great option, you know, obviously from being in the military. But as you factor it all out mathematically, you're best bet is just to go get a traditional mortgage. But again, I would do a 15 versus a 30.

[John Deloney]

Can I throw one other idea, Elizabeth?

[Rachel Cruze]

Sure.

[John Deloney]

Are you going to be staying in Hawaii? Are you going to be moving somewhere off the island?

[Caller]

We plan to either California or Texas. Most likely Texas.

[John Deloney]

Can I throw a second option out there?

[Caller]

Sure.

[John Deloney]

Go exhale for the first time and rent for a year. Get to know an area, get to know what you like. This is the first time you've been in your house and you'll find I want the cat, the kitchens to look like this, the bathrooms to feel like this. If you race out and buy something in a new state that you haven't lived in, it's just a recipe for ah, we should have, I wish we had, have just go rent for a year and keep piling up cash and then buy the house that you really, really want. I love entrepreneurs. Don't forget guys, I started my company on a card table myself. So I know what it's like to have people counting on you, your team, your family, not to mention your customers. And when you're the one signing the paychecks, you can't afford to fly blind. But I'll be honest, early on, one thing that nearly sunk us was wasting time with spreadsheets that didn't add up because business units didn't talk to each other. I finally told my team, just fix it.

[Caller]

And they did.

[John Deloney]

We got Netsuite that was Years ago and we've never looked back. See, netsuite isn't just for tech giants. It's built for growing businesses like yours. Over 40 businesses already run on NetSuite, including a lot that started just like you. And now with built in AI, NetSuite.

[Rachel Cruze]

Is helping them even more.

[John Deloney]

It's one system connected to every part of your business. For real time insights, not guesswork. Netsuite AI flags inventory issues, cash flow risks, even supplier delays before they become problems. So you can trust the data, stop wasting time, and make the right decisions faster. Take a free product tour [e-mail] Ramsey that's netsuite.com Ramsey.

[Rachel Cruze]

I'm next. We have Walt in Baton Rouge. Hi, Walt. Welcome to the show.

[Caller]

Yeah, hi. Thank you both for taking my call.

[Rachel Cruze]

Absolutely. How can we help today?

[Caller]

So my question is about charging rent to my adult daughter. She's 23 years old. She has been a registered nurse since she was 19, and she's worked full time since the summer of 22, so almost four years. She still lives at home with us and she's going to grad school. And in May of this year, she'll actually graduate and be a nurse practitioner. Practitioner.

[Rachel Cruze]

Good for her.

[Caller]

That is good for her. Great. Her tuition reimbursement from her employer pays the lion's share of this, and she has no debt and has just been piling up cash.

[Rachel Cruze]

That's awesome.

[Caller]

All right. So money wise, she's in good shape there. Back In April of 24, I began charging her rent of $300 a month plus a third of groceries to split those costs with me and my wife. She'd almost been working two years by then. She now likes to say that I'm stealing from her. And of course the relationship is tense, but she does not want to move out either. She likes to say that none of her friends have to pay rent to live at home. We did tell her at some point that she could live here as long as she's in school, but we never expected it was going to be, you know, well into grad school like this. My wife and I do not need the money. Our intent was to show her that life has a cost to it. So really the question is, how should we approach this with her to maintain the relationship in a healthy manner? Her.

[John Deloney]

Those are. Those are two separate ends. Or let me say this. The. The. She's. What an absolute mess.

[Rachel Cruze]

Well, if she didn't say that you were trying to. That you're stealing from her, I feel like I would have A totally different. I was so on her team.

[John Deloney]

Let me say this.

[Rachel Cruze]

I'm like, what are you doing, girl?

[John Deloney]

You're a good dad and you and your wife are loving your daughter. Well.

[Caller]

Okay, okay.

[John Deloney]

So well done. I applaud you.

[Rachel Cruze]

You're not doing anything wrong.

[John Deloney]

You're not doing anything wrong. And in fact, you're. I'm surprised at that kind of statement.

[Rachel Cruze]

Right.

[John Deloney]

Is she saying it seriously or is she playing with you? Is she messing with you?

[Caller]

John, she has said this in the last week to us.

[John Deloney]

Okay, I know, but like in a series, is she playing, like, not playing?

[Caller]

So it's not playing. It is. With a mean spirit. Okay, Absolutely.

[John Deloney]

I. I'm not gonna have a mean spirit in my home. And especially when I've been trying. There's a history of I've been loving you well for all of this time. And my wife and I have been your chief cheerleader through your whole life. And we've given you such an incredible head start on the real world. Anything other than gratitude, like, then that. That's behavior is a language. That's her saying, I don't want to be in relationship with you anymore or I don't want to be a part of this arrangement anymore. And so when I say it's two different ends. The right thing to do is to sit down and have a hard conversation, which is, hey, we've been trying to love you. Well. And this is turning. I don't understand where this is coming from. And to let the adult who's about to be a nurse practitioner. Right. Allowed to be allowed to write scripts and deal directly people's health and well being. Allow her to have a hard adult conversation. And if she chooses to end the relationship, to sever it. To, To. To do what has happened all over the country. Yeah. Which is like, I'm cutting you off. That will be heartbreaking. And I would grieve the crap out of that. But she's an adult and she gets to make that kind of irrational choice, that kind of heartbreaking choice. Because you know who says what she's saying? My daughter. And my daughter's 9. My 9 year old is supposed to say, well, other kids get smartphones. She's supposed to do that. My 15 year old is supposed to stay, say stuff like that because they're 9 and 15. That's developmentally appropriate.

[Rachel Cruze]

Right?

[Caller]

Right.

[John Deloney]

It is disrespectful and it's just hurtful for a grown adult who has been given such an Amazing.

[Rachel Cruze]

And 300 bucks Walt for rent.

[John Deloney]

Yeah. A Day.

[Rachel Cruze]

It's not like $1300 that she'd be paying for an apartment that she's probably about to live in. Right. I'm like. So it's not even like a crazy amount either?

[John Deloney]

No, it's. It's literally the answer is the same answer I would give to my daughter, which is, I know I love you more than clearly your friend's parents love her. Love them, but that, that won't fly, right? That's not a. Don't say that.

[Rachel Cruze]

Well, my question is when did it change? Because you guys, you said since 2024, so it's been almost two years. When did the, when did the shift happen? Just in the last week.

[Caller]

I can't say that it's happened in the last week. It's been kind of coming for a little while. I will tell you this. Once you started getting involved with young men as well too, that's kind of been a turn. And I will tell you recently, she met a guy back last summer. They got engaged after only about 12 weeks. And it happened when my wife and I were out of town. And they did not tell or involve either set of parents. She's not pregnant or anything. We don't like her choice in men. He has some character defects, dishonesty, laziness. He wants her to pay for his grad school and among other things as well. But she doesn't want to listen to advice. She ignores the red flags. And that mean and spiteful nature comes out whenever there's conversations that come up like that as well too well.

[John Deloney]

But here's the deal. When she chooses like, as, as a 24 year old, she can date, and I say this with all due respect, she could date whoever she wants to, she can marry whoever she wants to. But when she accepts the. When she takes your generosity and says, I want to live in your house, then Even though she's 24, she is saying, I'm gonna live under the rules of my landlord.

[Caller]

Yes.

[John Deloney]

And I'm. If I started renting a house from a local guy here in town, I would be subject to that person's landlord rules, right?

[Caller]

Yeah, absolutely.

[John Deloney]

That's the way that worked. And so if she doesn't like your rules, she doesn't like you saying, I don't like this guy or whatever, then she has to make a big grown up adult decision and say, then I don't want to live in. I can't have my cake and eat it too. Right.

[Caller]

Right.

[John Deloney]

I can't do whatever I want. I can't not listen to their right. And you get to set the terms. You're the landlord, and it sounds like your terms have been incredibly fair.

[Rachel Cruze]

Is she still engaged, Walt?

[Caller]

She is.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay. So when have they planned a wedding? Like, is there a.

[Caller]

He wants to rush it up. She's trying to. She. So she's going on after this spring. She's going on to the extra four semesters to get her doctorate as a nurse practitioner. And she's. She wants to wait. And so there's that tension there as well, too. But it's. It's. It. It's bleeding over. It definitely is. And she's.

[Rachel Cruze]

Well, I didn't know. I didn't know if the wedding was, like, in April or something and all this would just be a moot point in three months or what.

[John Deloney]

There is.

[Caller]

He would love for it to be as soon as they graduate.

[John Deloney]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Because he graduates from undergrad in May. She. Undergrad. She graduates with her master's in May.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah.

[John Deloney]

I mean, he sees his meal ticket, man. He wants to lock that thing up as quick as he can.

[Rachel Cruze]

Right.

[Caller]

That's what we're trying to tell her.

[John Deloney]

Let me. Let me say this, too. There is. I worked with college students and grad students my whole career, okay. Before I came over to do this thing. There is. I don't know, a psychological, fancy term for it. I'll just call it a phenomenon where when parents and kids, whether they're 18, 17 and 18, or they're 25 and 26, when there is a pending or inevitable separation, sometimes people get super, super, super clingy. And sometimes people manufacture conflict so that the separation is palatable, like, subconsciously. I. I don't think intentionally.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Deloney]

But I think, like, I need to move. I don't want. It's hard to move. I need to, like. And so I'm gonna find a bunch of quote, unquote reasons why I gotta get out of here. Okay? And so let's take the best case scenario and say that's what's actually happening. She knows I've. I've done my time here. I need to get my own place. I'm gonna marry a guy that my folks don't like. Like, it's time for me to grow up. And she's had a really good thing for a long time. Here's where you can cut right through all of that. You can take her out to breakfast. You and your wife can take her out. Probably one of y' all would be better that way. It doesn't feel like two against one. And you can say, I'm not gonna fight you. I love you too much. You will never, ever have a cheerleader as big as me. I gotta fight you. Here's what I think is right in my home. I love you enough to keep up, to always say what I think is best for you. If you ask me to stop talking to you about it, I will. But here's the rules for if you want to live in my house. Here's, here's, here's the situation. What's gonna be. But it's you cutting through it. Like, I'm not gonna fight you. I'm not gonna manufacture fights. I'm not gonna go to war with you. I love you too much for that. But I'll always be your cheerleader. I think just cutting through all that nonsense and saying, I'm gonna stick by my my, which is a healthy balance.

[Rachel Cruze]

It's the day. It's still. It's still him having integrity within himself doing it, but yet it's like, I'm gonna still be your dad.

[John Deloney]

I'm gonna always be your dad, no matter what. I used to be that guy who bragged about running on no sleep. And then I realized being tired all the time is not a flex to show up as the best George Camel I can be.

[Caller]

I need real rest.

[John Deloney]

And that's why I got Casper Mattresses. And in my home, the experts at Casper designed their mattresses to help you sleep deeper, cooler, and more comfortably. And they've been top ranked in both the foam and innerspring mattress categories by Consumer Reports. You and your entire family deserve great sleep. So go to Casper.com Ramsey and use code Ramsey for 25% off mattresses and.

[Rachel Cruze]

10% off everything else.

[John Deloney]

That gives you up to 1,200 bucks.

[Rachel Cruze]

Off the Snowmax mattress, which is the exact one I sleep on.

[John Deloney]

That's Casper.com Ramsey code Ramsey.

[Rachel Cruze]

Buying or selling your home is a really big deal. So with all the clickbait headlines out there and conflicting data, it's hard to know what's really going on in the housing market. So we're here to help you with the latest trends and make them easy to understand. So right now, the median home price has dipped to about $400,000 last month, which is pretty typical for this time of year. And mortgage rates have also dipped to 5.48 in December, down from 6.27% last January, giving home buyers some breathing room. And since rates are unpredictable, the best time to buy is when you are financially ready. You're not trying to Time the markets. But when you are ready to buy a home is when you need to get in. So to learn more about the housing market trends and to get free tools to help you or sell with confidence, go to ramseysolutions.com market or you can click the link in the show notes if you're listening on podcast or YouTube. Well, that's good. See some rates at 5. You know, we, they were holding steady. 7, 8. Yeah. For a while. So it's good, it's good going in the right direction, especially for home buyers out there. All right, let's go to Elizabeth, who is in St. Louis. Hi, Elizabeth. Hi.

[Caller]

Thank you for taking my call.

[Rachel Cruze]

Absolutely. How can we help today?

[Caller]

So my husband and I, we purchased a double wide six years ago and our interest is 10.44% and 10.44.

[Rachel Cruze]

Is that what you said?

[Caller]

Yes. Yeah, it's, it's pretty high. I was kind of wanting some insight on what you guys would do in our situation. We want to get out of, out of it as quickly as possible. I just kind of wanted some insight on that.

[Rachel Cruze]

Out of the double wide?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, so how much?

[Caller]

We'll just do the. Or a cheaper payments or should we refinance? I'm just not sure sure how.

[Rachel Cruze]

How much is left on the, on the loan?

[Caller]

We owe $72,676.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yep. How much do you guys make a year?

[Caller]

My husband just got a new job. He is at $26 an hour now. And I'm a stay at home mom.

[Rachel Cruze]

So on average, how much is he bringing home a month?

[Caller]

I'll have to do the math. He handles the finances. So I really, I'm not, I'm not 100% on that.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, so you don't know how much you guys make a month?

[Caller]

I, I can check. I just know I'm supposed to be fast. Let me look.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay. No, you're fine. You're fine. How much is your payment on this?

[Caller]

The house payment is $940.31. But it is going to jump up to 956 in February for insurance and taxes.

[Rachel Cruze]

Which is just an extra $16, right?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, so 956. I'm wondering. Yeah. How is he making.

[John Deloney]

Yeah, that's a way lower house. A living price. I'll say because this isn't a house, but.

[Caller]

Right.

[John Deloney]

That's a way lower monthly rent than we hear from anybody. A monthly mortgage.

[Caller]

Yeah. I think just the main thing is just how high the interest is if we stay in this thing and pay Just the payment over a course of so many years. How much interest we're paying, it's just.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. Well, let's say he makes, you know, I don't know, four. I mean, ideally, hopefully he's making four grand a month at least because that'll be a fourth of your take home pay, which means that this isn't a crazy percentage of your income. That would be very reasonable if he makes around four grand. And so what you guys would have to do. Do you guys have any consumer debt?

[Caller]

And we have. The only debt we have is on our truck. We owe 23,000. 8, 64, 62.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[Caller]

And then we owe 7,000 in medical.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[Caller]

Then 1100 on our phones.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[Caller]

And then 400 for our credit cards.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay. Okay, perfect. So what I would do, are you guys wanting to stay in this double wide or you, when you say we want to get out, is it, you want a different rate or you want out of this because you guys want to go own a home? Like, what, where, where are you guys at?

[Caller]

Eventually we would want to.

[Rachel Cruze]

But you're not in a rush right now.

[Caller]

No, I'm not in a rush. I just, for right now, just a different.

[Rachel Cruze]

Do you know what you could. If you were to sell it? I'm not suggesting that, but if you were, do you know how much it's valued at right now?

[Caller]

I have no idea.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, so I would figure that out, Elizabeth, because most, I mean, depending on, we hear kind of, we hear kind of two different rules of thumb with this number wise on the show. Most of the time these go down in value. They usually do not hold their value. So I'm just curious from what you. From what it's worth versus what you, you know, could sell it for, because you may be a little bit underwater on it. I don't know. But if I were you all, the first thing, Elizabeth, is I want you and your husband to sit down. Excuse you. Bless you, John. Sit down. And I want you guys to look at all of your numbers, Elizabeth, because I want you to know, and this isn't to shame you, this is very common that in a marriage, one person kind of just has the money and the other person's like, great, you know, you just tell me. But I want you to know, I want you to know how much he makes. I want you guys to do a written budget to say, okay, here's how much that we spend on groceries. Here's the light bill, here's the mortgage. Here, like, here is everything we spend in a month. And I Want you both to agree on it, because what's going to happen, too, is I want you to slash anything you can out of that budget, because your next goal as a couple is to pay off debt. And I want the phones and the credit cards. I would make it a goal to pay it off in the next 30 days. What do we have to do in the next 30 days to get rid of that debt? And then we're going to work up to the $7,000 debt, and then we're going to work up for the truck. But for the truck. Do you know. Do you know what it's worth right now? Are you guys underwater on it at all?

[Caller]

He just purchased it. It's a 2023 Toyota Tacoma.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay. So I. So depending on what you guys make in a year, Elizabeth, if you guys cannot pay this truck off in a year to 18 months, he needs to sell it. You can't afford it.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[Caller]

Okay. That sounds good.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yep. So. So you guys just. You guys need. Need a game plan. And the. In the. The mortgage, I don't think, because I don't know your income, which makes this really difficult because I'm not able to kind of like, extract exactly the numbers. But if he's making around $4,000, this. This payment is not your issue. It's other things happening with debt payments and all of that. If you guys are tight and don't have margin.

[Caller]

Okay. Yeah. And I did check, and it's around a thousand dollars a week and perfect.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. Okay, great. Yeah. So that's around $4,000.

[John Deloney]

Is. Is there anything. Sometimes when we're stressed about money, and we. Sometimes that stress comes from. There's literally not enough to pay the bills. But sometimes that stress comes from. We just don't know. We just don't know. We just don't know. It's easy to fixate on one thing and make it that one thing. The. The grand. Like this. This huge dragon that we have to slay.

[Caller]

Right.

[John Deloney]

And could it be that your lack of. I don't really know how much we make every month. I don't know exactly what all of our bills are. I'm just looking at these debts. It's that your focus just lasers in on that 10%, and it's like, we got to fix X. We got to fix this. We got to fix this. You get what I'm saying? Could that be true?

[Caller]

It could be, yes. My husband, he thinks we need to file bankruptcy, but I don't think.

[John Deloney]

No, no, not even close.

[Caller]

Thank you, guys.

[John Deloney]

No, not Even in the same universe.

[Rachel Cruze]

We just talked to someone with almost like $400,000 in business debt and he makes $60,000 a year. So.

[Caller]

Yes, like, I watch you guys all the time.

[Rachel Cruze]

You're nowhere near bankruptcy. You also have to quit buying stuff y' all can't afford, like this truck.

[Caller]

Yes, yes, absolutely. But he is pretty attached to it. He. I don't think it's. I'll focus on the credit card and the.

[John Deloney]

Well, no, no. Y' all focus on yalls future that y' all are building together.

[Caller]

Yes.

[John Deloney]

And this might mean. You're not gonna like me saying this. It might mean that for a season you go get a job, right? Because for the next 12 or 18 months we're both going to do. And he's got to get a second job on the weekends.

[Caller]

I mean, honestly, I'm all for it. Like I could do like grocery, pick it up or something. Right Now I have 202. So I've been making homemade soap from home and I've been selling that. But that doesn't bring a lot of income in.

[Rachel Cruze]

But something creative from home, right? That we're doing something that's. I think that's the key, that there's movement happening and you know, and. And here's the thing too, Elizabeth. This plan to do this kind of stop, it hits the ego right in the heart. And what it does is it takes someone that is used to a certain level of lifestyle, a certain truck or whatever the thing is, and it knocks it down a level or two. Okay. And that's hard for anyone, right? We like progress, we like to see results, we like to be moving forward. And the feeling like we're moving back in lifestyle is emotionally difficult. But mathematically you guys are going to start to see so much margin open up. Like even. Even as truck payments, you know how much it is a month.

[Caller]

It's around 5:30 around there.

[John Deloney]

So that's a half year mortgage.

[Rachel Cruze]

That's crazy, right? So. So even if y' all didn't have that and all these debt payments, like that could be close to like 800, 900 bucks a month coming back to you guys. So you looking at the math and understanding this is the advantage that we have is so important. But getting on the same page and communicating to him your fear, your dreams, Elizabeth, is really, really important too.

[John Deloney]

You already know the power of generosity. And the best gifts make an impact now and eternally. That's what preborn does. And you can trust them to do it. Well, they don't just offer Free ultrasounds. They support pregnancy clinics across the country with ultrasound machines, training grants and evangelism tools. They're faithful with each dollar. So moms in crisis can see the life in their wombs and hear the truth that brings eternal life. Because here's the thing, when a mom sees her baby on that ultrasound screen, she chooses life 80% of the time. And your gift of just $28 covers the cost of 1U ultrasound. Or if you're able, you can purchase an ultrasound machine through preborn and have it placed in one of their clinics so women will choose life for years. Your donation brings hope and truth when mothers feel alone and fear is loud. So I'm asking you to give to preborn today, even just $28 to provide one ultrasound. Go to preborn.com Ramsey or call 855-601-2229. Because every baby saved is more life preserved. It's a life changed. That's preborn.com Ramsey.

[Rachel Cruze]

Welcome back to the Ramsey show and the Fair Winds Credit Union Studio. I'm Rachel Cruze hosting this hour with best selling author and host of the Dr. John DeLoney Show, John Deloney. So we are here to answer your questions. Give us a call at 888-825-5225. All right, let's go to Amanda in Denver, Colorado. Hi, Amanda. Welcome to the show.

[Caller]

Hi, guys. Thank you so much for talking to me today.

[Rachel Cruze]

Absolutely. How can we help?

[Caller]

So my husband and I have been married for 17 years. I am 42 and he is 48. And we made peace a long time ago with not. So we haven't been the best stewards of our dual income, no kids, money. Over the years we haven't been the worst. We don't carry any other than our mortgage, but we have very little in savings and no retirement. Last August, God surprised us with a baby.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, wow. Congratulations.

[Caller]

Thank you. Yeah. So we are late in life parents and just kind of cotton the cross his hairs here going, oh my gosh, we didn't prepare for this. So in hindsight, you know, I know we should have been planning for retirement for ourselves all along, even without a baby. But now with a baby, I feel like I am at ground zero and I have no idea what to prioritize and where to start to give us a fighting chance at not only retirement but just, you know, solid financial stability while raising this baby in this crazy expensive world.

[Rachel Cruze]

Totally. Are you guys both working?

[Caller]

I quit my job in April when I was about halfway through my pregnancy and I am currently a stay at home mom.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay. Are you going to go back at all, do you know? Or will you wait probably for a bit and be a stay at home mom?

[Caller]

I will, I will wait for a bit. The intention is to not. I'd like to just remain a stay at home mom. But. Yeah, yeah, but at least for the first three years. Three to five years.

[Rachel Cruze]

No, that's great. Love it. How much does your husband make?

[Caller]

He makes 90,000 a year.

[Rachel Cruze]

90,000. Okay. Do you guys have any consumer debt?

[Caller]

No.

[Rachel Cruze]

No.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruze]

Any savings? Just cash savings.

[Caller]

I've got about $30,000 in the bank.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, that's great. Good emergency fund. Okay, so what's wild is, and I'm just going to run some rough numbers here, we have an investment calculator on ramseysolutions.com so check it out because that's just always like a, it's kind of a fun thing just to piddle with and look. But let's say. Cause we always say to save around 15% of your income. So I'm, I just threw in a thousand bucks a month. Say you invent, you guys invested a thousand bucks a month and you guys have nothing right now. And we'll say your husband's 48. I'm going to use his numbers since he's the one working. And then let's say he retires at 67 at a 10% rate of return. That's about $676,000. So that's not as much as I would probably want. So what if we just. Again, I'm just messing around with this. Let's just say we're. You doubled it, then that would be 1.3 million. If you guys saved 2 grand a month because the goal, because the reality is too, his income's going to go up right throughout his 50s, he'll be making more. So I think you guys, if you start now, I think you will end up being fine. I mean, do you think after all is said and done, I mean, if you, if you guys had 1.3 million at, when he's 67 in order to retire, for instance. And you guys, you know, if it was a 10% rate of return, you know, you'd be making 130,000, but you wouldn't want to take all of that. So let's say you took 70,000 of that to live off of at retirement. If everything was paid off, you know, that could probably be a possibility. Right? So I'll just say there's still hope. It's not like you guys are doomed by any means. But, yeah, I would start. Right. And maybe be a little bit aggressive towards it. How much do you guys owe on your house?

[Caller]

We owe 130, and there's about 300,000 in equity in it, so.

[Rachel Cruze]

Great. No, that's awesome.

[Caller]

You know, the other ditch effort would be, do we sell the house and take that, you know, chunk of money and start kind of moving? No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Rachel Cruze]

I wouldn't.

[John Deloney]

You just. Robin, Peter to pay Paul.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. Y' all are fine. You're good.

[Caller]

Yeah. And. And we have our. Our mortgage. It's 3.85, so it'd be silly to.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah, no, I think you guys are good.

[John Deloney]

I would pay that house off.

[Rachel Cruze]

I would sit down with a smartvestor pro. Amanda, you can go to ramseysolutions.com and find one in your area. But I would map out to say, okay, let's open up. He needs to have a Roth IRA. You can do a spousal Roth IRA. Does he have. Does his company have a 401K?

[Caller]

I think they do.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, well, I would ask.

[Caller]

I'm pretty sure they do.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. And see if they do a match. Yeah. Because there's definitely. There's definitely a path for you guys to have retirement 100%. But again, it will be you guys. Yeah. Jumping on the train and, you know, moving forward with it. But I would sit down with someone and look over your entire financial picture because you're in a great spot, Amanda. I mean, honestly, you guys have no debt. You have $30,000 in savings, and then you guys are going to just start putting some money away monthly toward this retirement, and with compound interest and all of it, it's great. It's. The best time to start is now.

[John Deloney]

So, Rachel, one of the things that I hear all the time that haunts couples in this situation is the phrase, I just want to get back to. Right. Like, remember when I should have. Back in the day, we should have been saving money. I just want to get back to. We could just go out to eat whenever we wanted, and we could. The couples that I see do well are the ones that, oh, we have a baby at 42 and 48. Right.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah.

[John Deloney]

Who can put a period at the end of that old life and not try to reclaim what was, but to rebuild something totally new. And it's saying, we had our fun, we spent it, we went on every vacation. That was a. I was awesome. And now inside this new world we live in with a kid, with, oh, gosh, we need Retirement, this kid might want to go to college. All those things. We're going to have to create a new kind of awesome inside this new world. And the couples that live in that reality, what they come up with to. To co create in their life is amazing. It's awesome. The ones that are trying to live this life but keep their looking back at the old them, dragging it behind them, man, it just becomes such a weight. And that's a recipe for people who go off and make decisions that they would never make, Borrowing, cheating, all these things because they're carrying around this past. And instead of just saying, dude, all right, this is our new world and we're going to go fully into it. Right.

[Rachel Cruze]

That is so interesting, because I would think if you're carrying what, what you wanted or what you thought would be, then you kind of like your, Your creativity, your brain move, it all kind of just stops there. It doesn't allow you to say, okay, if I have this whole forward life, what are we gonna do differently? What can we do creatively to change up what we want? If we want to get.

[John Deloney]

We've become a hiking couple. You know what? We're going to learn how to camp because that's what we have money for. And we're going to be the best campers or whatever. Right. But we're going to live in this reality and we're not going to sit down there thinking about, oh, remember when we're going to fully embrace what we got and we're going to run forward with it.

[Rachel Cruze]

So good. Yeah. And in this case, especially looking at retirement and numbers, I think living in the present, realize, okay, this is our new life.

[John Deloney]

They're gonna feel broke for a while now.

[Rachel Cruze]

What are we gonna.

[John Deloney]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

How are we gonna shift this?

[John Deloney]

They're gonna feel broke because 2000 bucks a month that they used to just blow on whatever.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yes.

[John Deloney]

Is gonna go into an account for future them.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yes.

[John Deloney]

Right. And they're gonna feel like they're failing, feel like they're broke.

[Rachel Cruze]

Right.

[John Deloney]

And great. Cool. Feel that feeling. And then just go do the next right thing.

[Rachel Cruze]

That's right. That's right. And what's wild, you guys, is when you're looking at this kind of stuff, like wherever you. If you're in your mid-40s, if you're in your 60s and you haven't started, like, the point is to start as soon as possible. Right. That's key because time is on your side. And even with their numbers, what's wild is the contributions they would put in with the example of two grand a month, which is a lot. That's pretty aggressive.

[John Deloney]

It's a lot of money.

[Rachel Cruze]

And I was just messing with numbers there. Right. Probably a thousand is more realistic for 15% for them. But what's wild is their contributions would be around 456,000, but the growth is almost 900,000. Like the growth starts to outpace the principal so quickly when you realize, okay, if I can just start as early as possible that that's on your side. It really is.

[John Deloney]

And I can almost guarantee you they're going to go sit down with their 401k, their HR person and they'll be like, oh, we have an 8% match the match. And it's like, oh, we didn't know any of that stuff.

[Rachel Cruze]

And there's more. Yes. But it's all about creating this new life and this new future and these new goals, which is what Amanda and her husband are doing. So we applaud you guys. Amanda, we are cheering you on. We all want peace. Peace with our money, our homes, our schedules. But having peace online is important, too. Most of the time, when you sign up for a coupon, enter a giveaway or click yes to another email list, your personal info, like your name, your phone number, your address gets collected and sold by data brokers. And before you know it, your inbox is overflowing, your phone's full of spam calls, and your data's floating around. Who knows where. That is why I love what delete me does. Their team of privacy experts find your personal info on those creepy data broker sites, gets it removed and keeps it off. It is simple, it's safe, and it gives you more peace of mind. That means fewer spam calls, fewer scams, and way less digital chaos. You have worked so hard to find peace with your money. Now it's time to find peace with your digital life. Start protecting your privacy and your peace today. Go to JoinDeleteMe.com Ramsey for 20% off an annual plan. That's JoinDeleteMe.com Ramsey. The Ramsey Show Question of the day is bought. Brought to you by why refi you don't have to stay stuck in in defaulted private student loans forever. Why refi helps borrowers take back control with affordable refinancing options that actually work. Learn [e-mail] Ramsey that's the letter y r e f y.com Ramsey not available in all states.

[John Deloney]

All right, today's question comes from Nora in Massachusetts. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost two years and he has about $60000 in debt, car loan, credit cards, et cetera.

[Caller]

Etc.

[John Deloney]

He says he wants to get out of debt and he often complains about money, but I still see him spending on non essentials. He takes weeks to pay me back even after reminders. I've offered support without wanting to be pushy, but our financial habits and lifestyles don't seem aligned. Would I be wrong to end the relationship over financial incompatibility even though he says he's quote unquote, working on it?

[Rachel Cruze]

Well, saying one thing and doing another.

[John Deloney]

Yeah. Behavior's a.

[Rachel Cruze]

Language is very different.

[John Deloney]

Behavior's a language.

[Rachel Cruze]

You're not crazy. And honestly. No. Which I hate this. Cause I feel like money easily can be one of these topics that I'm like, it's just shallow. Don't worry about it. Love can conquer all, you know, that's what I want to believe in life. But the truth is too money speaks so much about who we are and how we do life, how we function in life. And when you're not compatible with that, there's going to be a, A, I'm not going to say a constant conflict happening, but it's going to be an uphill battle.

[John Deloney]

Money, to me here is. You said this in an earlier show, is a revealer.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yes.

[John Deloney]

Because if I'm looking at a guy who says, I want to do this, but then he goes in behaviors of language, does a bunch of other stuff, says a bunch of other stuff with his actions, is he going to be the kind of guy that's like, I want to be a good husband. Yes, but. Or I want to show up for our kids. But. Right. And so I. Especially at a young age. I'm assuming they're young. I'm just guessing. I want to see potential. I want to see somebody that keeps their promises to themselves and I want to see somebody that makes a plan and doesn't stick to it perfectly, but sure tries to stay on a path.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yes. Forward.

[John Deloney]

If he wanted to get out of debt, he'd sell his car and get rid of the car loan. He would say, hey, we got to start eating at cheaper places. I hope you'll still like me. And it sounds like you'd be like, oh, thank God, I love you. Right.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yes.

[John Deloney]

But it's. It is. The money is just the flashing light. That this is a guy who says one thing, but he does another thing. That if you were my sister or my daughter, that would be what I would say. I want you to look out for that thing.

[Rachel Cruze]

The red flag. Yes.

[John Deloney]

Like owing 60,000 bucks of debt. Would I say, don't marry somebody in debt?

[Rachel Cruze]

No. Right.

[John Deloney]

But if the person is. Man, if your guts are telling you, dude, he's not a guy. He's a guy who says one thing and does another, that's enough to make me back up a little bit.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yes. And you saying, like, I've offered support without all this stuff in that kind of situation, Nora, it's one of those couples that you end up being like his mom. You be. You're in more of a parental role.

[John Deloney]

Well, you're loaning him money. You're his bank. You're his mother.

[Rachel Cruze]

You're not taking care of him. You're having to help him be responsible. Right. And then you end up being in like, this like, motherly role. And that's weird. And that happens a lot in marriage. We talk to a lot of couples where women, you know, are in that situation or men on the other side. So. So yeah, Nora, it's not the fact that he has debt by any means or, you know, that like John was saying, it's the fact that he's not following through with what he said and that he's living with a set of values around money that you don't agree with. And so whether we like it or not, money fights and money problems are one of the main reasons of divorce in America because it just, again, it conflicts with everything of how we do life on a day, day to day basis. Like, you can't ignore that. And so it just will. Cause I think it will be a stress points. It will be. Be a reason you don't sleep well at night. You know, I mean, it's just all of that is magnified when you're married. So, yeah, if you guys can't get at least moving on the same page, again, not perfection, but moving towards the same page. Yeah, it may be. It may be a deal breaker, which I hate so much, but that. That's the reality. All right, let's go to Susan in Dayton, Ohio. Hi, Susan.

[Caller]

Hi. Thank you for taking my call. My family started a large home addition project last year in July. The project were paying about $313,000 for the project, and it was supposed to be done by Thanksgiving, and it's not anywhere close to being done right now. And so we are new to this kind of project, so initially we just kind of trusted our contractor. But as the time went on, it just. Things didn't seem like it made sense. And the timing that he was giving, and as Thanksgiving went by, he kept on giving us, oh, it'll be done by this other date. And it's not done. And it's not done. And I just wanted your, you guys advice on how to proceed with just not, you know, goals not being met on the project.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. Is he just not showing up, Susan? Like, are there days and days and days that he's not even there, doesn't have any crew there?

[Caller]

There's not days and days and days, but maybe there's like a couple days that he says they will be there, but they're not there. But then they show up. And so he keeps on communicating with us and he shows up, but it's not consistent.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, is it, Is there any. Is he giving you a reason for why this is happening? Is it material? Yeah. What's he saying? What's his reasoning?

[Caller]

He's, well, we are using an Amish crew in Indiana. And so the Amish, they have butchering days where they can't come because they all have to butcher. They have a car breakdown. He gives us different reasons throughout the whole thing.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[Caller]

And so he's at least like, the pros of him is that he communicates and he's not given up on the project. Like, he hasn't disappeared. And the other contractors.

[John Deloney]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

That's a low bar, though.

[John Deloney]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Yeah, I know.

[John Deloney]

It's like, he doesn't cheat on me. He's pretty great. It's like, well, that's pretty low bar.

[Caller]

Exactly.

[John Deloney]

Yeah.

[Caller]

We also have local connections. I'm sorry.

[John Deloney]

Go ahead, go ahead.

[Caller]

So he's using contractors locally that we have talked about with other people, and they say, oh, yeah, he's a good guy. And so, and we. Anyway, so the options that we're thinking about right now to get this project moving faster and putting some pressure on him is do we write a new contract for him and say, we know it's passed, we need new deadlines and new commitments. And some people have told us that we need to just hire a lawyer and be done with him and try to get as much money out of it.

[Rachel Cruze]

Have you already paid him the full 313?

[Caller]

We have a retainage of just 11,000 left from the budget.

[Rachel Cruze]

So you've given him 300? Basically.

[Caller]

Basically, yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, man.

[John Deloney]

I, I, well, I, I would, I think there's a combination. And Rachel, this is your world. Y' all do this kind of work. I, I would sit down with him and say, we've given you $300,000. This, this job is now going on three to four months overdue. I'm I, I'm very close to calling an attorney to get this thing settled and get my money back so that I can go hire somebody to do the work that you agreed to do by this date, by this contract we have. And, and, and I would have a new contract prepared and say by this date this is what's going to be. And if he doesn't sign it, that's cool. Then he might call your bluff and then we'll need to go get an attorney and figure that out.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah, because I mean, with some real estate, you know, especially if you're doing a remodel or something like that, for some people, they say, like, okay, it's going to take twice as long and twice as expensive. Right. That's kind of the rule of thumb, which, this, which sucks. Right. I mean, I think you can do it very much in a tightened up timeline and budget, which is what, you know, I've experienced before. But all that to say, I do wonder for him. Have you guys had a level of intense conversation, a very direct and clear conversation with him? Are you just answering him via text and calling it a day?

[Caller]

No, we've had some direct conversation. We've talked to him about not yelling at him, but our frustrations with how the project has been handled.

[Rachel Cruze]

Sure.

[Caller]

Much more towards like, you know, after the deadline has been passed. So like in December, we had lots of. Even now even more so this month, just the deadline's been passed. They haven't been showing up as much as I think they should be to try to get it done as fast as possible.

[Rachel Cruze]

So I think, I think the two things are you need a new deadline. That's reasonable and he needs to be able to meet that deadline. And if not. Yes, then maybe there is some, some legal, you know, processes that you go to. And also, and I'll be honest too, Suzanne, I don't know a ton about the Amish community, but you have chosen someone that's in a type of culture.

[John Deloney]

That I've never heard this, this is the first time ever that I've heard.

[Rachel Cruze]

They have days that they have to take off. I mean, I don't know. I don't know.

[John Deloney]

I've never heard of this.

[Rachel Cruze]

I don't know if that's a reality in his world or not that you have to take into consideration because you, you h. If you missed open enrollment, don't panic. Most health plans lock you out for the year if you didn't sign up by December. But Christian Healthcare Ministries lets you join anytime. CHM offers a simple flexible and budget friendly alternative to health insurance. And you can join anytime. That's right. No open enrollment deadlines. CHM is perfect if you're self employed, starting a business or in between jobs because it gives you options without the those out of control COBRA costs. And CHM isn't insurance. It's a community of believers coming together to share medical bills and pray for one another. That's real peace of mind. You're not just sharing costs, you are sharing community and families have trusted CHM since 1981 with billions of dollars in medical bills shared. You can see any doctor or hospital you want with no network restrictions. And members say that they often save hundreds of dollars a month compared to traditional insurance. So make a change that fits your budget and your values. Check out chministries.orgbudget to learn more. That's chministries.org budget. Open phones at 888, 825-5225. Give us a call. And we are answering your questions about life and money. Up next we have Alice in Boise, Idaho. Hi Alice. Welcome to the show. Hi.

[Caller]

How's it going?

[Rachel Cruze]

Doing great. How can we help today?

[Caller]

Okay, so I'll get right to it. Me and my husband have been married for a little over two years. We are debt free and we're looking planning. My husband's older brother is a financial planner. He's really good at his job. My husband has his retirement account with him and I have my retirement account separate. We are, my husband and I are both on the same page of putting our retirement accounts into like a third party, like a smartvestor pro. So we met with them on Monday. We're just looking for advice on how to talk to his brother about saying thanks so much for being like willing to look over his accounts for him. But we're gonn to we're gonna go with the independent so we're not missing.

[John Deloney]

I can tell you that. The conversation I had with my uncle who's a cpa, he did my taxes for years. He's a, he's like an amazing man of character. He's awesome. And it got to a point where I only reached out to him to ask for tax stuff. And I remember thinking I want him to have the privilege of just being my uncle. And so I told him, hey, I'm going to get somebody else to do my taxes this year because I want you to just be my uncle now. I wanted to be a guy. I called for life advice, for wisdom to check in on like he's One of the funniest guys I've ever met. So like I, I told him I want, I want us to just have a regular relationship. I don't want us to have a client customer relationship also. And he was, he was cool with it. But that, that's what I used in my house.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. Alice, is your reason for wanting to switch, which I totally get that. May. I mean, I don't think it's a weird thing to want to switch from your brother in law. Is it because he's not great or is it because it's going to get awkward as he's looking at your numbers? Is it more of like a relational move or is it from like a competency standpoint?

[Caller]

No, he's completely competent. It's more of, I've just been told, you know, you don't mix finances and money. I'm sorry, finances and family.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. And then has it been weird or you're scared it's going to get weird?

[Caller]

I'm just worried that in the future, like life happens and then it could become an issue.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[Caller]

That's my concern.

[Rachel Cruze]

Totally. Yeah. I think either way. Let me give you like another example of one that we stayed. And this is different than a brother in law. So I do think the family thing, you know, is fair to have some boundaries there. But our smartvestor pro, literally the guy that we go to that has all of our information was a groomsman in our wedding. He's like one of my husband's best friends. Okay.

[John Deloney]

And my SmartVestor Pro 2 is in my wedding.

[Rachel Cruze]

And his wife. Yeah. And his wife was a bride. We actually set them up. So like. And he says, and here's what I appreciate about him, number one is like I, he says every meeting. Cause we meet every January, like once a year. We always sit down and look at everything. And he almost, he starts out every meeting with hey guys, if this ever gets weird, pull the plug. Like, I am not offended. I get it. Because numbers are so personal. And here I am looking at exactly how much you're getting paid. Like, I mean, you see it all. It's a very vulnerable thing. And I think it takes a special person to be able to handle that and see numbers. And I think some people really can. So I'm saying all that to say on one end it's your brother in law and it could get really weird. And just like John and his uncle and it's like, hey, I just would rather like yes, it didn't even get weird.

[John Deloney]

It was just, I'm Sorry. Yeah. Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

But you just made the call. Like, I just want you to be my uncle or I just want you to be my brother in law. I don't want to have to even worry. I don't even want to have to even think walking in the door at Christmas if it's a down year and we're like, I don't even want you connected to our money just because I just want you to be our brother in law. Like, that is an okay answer. And then I will give a little bit of a freedom on the other end that if it's not gotten weird and you think, like, hey, maybe, you know, we give permission to each other, that down the road if we. If we just feel like, hey, at any reason, for any reason we want to switch, like, we're all good and it's okay and let's just maybe wait and see. I don't know. Right. So I. Yeah. So I think it could be. I think it could be both.

[John Deloney]

It could. I took a call on my show on the John Deloney show this morning in. In another studio where a brother had, like, awful. Taking advantage of his younger brother in a business. Okay. So that could happen, but the other side of it, and I would even go with the more common. Would there be anybody on the planet that would look after you and your husband's money with more intent, like, scrutiny than his brother? No.

[Caller]

I mean, he would do a great job. It would be.

[John Deloney]

And so I think that's worth. I. I think. I think trying to project any weird thing that might happen one day into the future and drag that into the present is. That's just. I mean, that's the definition of anxiety.

[Caller]

Yeah. No, for sure.

[John Deloney]

Right?

[Caller]

So for sure.

[John Deloney]

I think I love Rachel's idea of, of starting every meeting and. Or y' all sit down and say, all right, I'm about to move my money over and look at him and say, I love you. And I'm. I can't imagine trusting anybody on the planet more than you. And I'm worried that one day this will be weird. So I just want to call it out.

[Caller]

Out.

[John Deloney]

If I ever. If we ever decide to go with somebody else, I want you, that we love you and you're our brother. Like, you get what I'm saying? Put all that on the table. But Rachel's totally right. I. He could. If he's not a good guy, he could take advantage of you in ways that nobody else can. But, man, if he's for you, dude, like, he will move heaven and earth to make sure his brother and his nephews and nieces or whatever y' all decide to do one day like that they're okay.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah.

[John Deloney]

Right.

[Rachel Cruze]

And. And that's also al. No pressure to keep. To stay with it. Like if you still get off this call and you're like, oh, yeah, maybe I am projecting fear into the. And that hasn't happened yet, so maybe we stick with it for another couple years, that's great. Or if we get off this call and you're like, oh, I still don't like it. Have the conversation then of the. I just want you to be our brother in law and is nothing about your competence. You're amazing. I love you. I just don't want to even second guess anything when we see each other about money. I just don't. I don't want to combine the two. And that's what makes you comfortable and your husband comfortable. Then you can say that. And I think. And then go get a smartvest or pro. Right. So I think, I think either one is okay. Okay.

[John Deloney]

Can I ask you one other quick question while I got you for sure you've. I'm, I'm assuming you've told your husband this.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, yeah. We're.

[Caller]

We're on the same page.

[John Deloney]

And your husband has said, I will leave my brother to go where you feel comfortable.

[Caller]

Yep.

[John Deloney]

He has you married really well.

[Caller]

I did.

[John Deloney]

That's a wonderful man. I just want to shout out your husband, a guy that once he, once he says, till death do me part, does us part, that you come first. That's awesome.

[Rachel Cruze]

So good.

[John Deloney]

I love that dude.

[Rachel Cruze]

Great question, Alice. Thanks for the call. All right, let's go to Aaron in Salt Lake City. Hi, Aaron. Welcome to the show.

[Caller]

Hi, Rachel.

[John Deloney]

Hi, John.

[Caller]

Thanks for taking my call.

[Rachel Cruze]

Absolutely. How can we help?

[Caller]

Well, I've kind of got some truck issues and I've been told a couple.

[John Deloney]

Times now that I might be emotionally.

[Caller]

Attached to the truck.

[John Deloney]

And so I, I'm just kind of looking for some advice so I don't make a stupid. I have no idea what, what this feels like. So. Yeah, I was about to say perfect too.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. Okay. So what's going on? Can you afford the truck?

[Caller]

Yes. So the trucks. I. I have a small business. I do landscaping, so the truck is my livelihood.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay. How much do you owe on it?

[Caller]

I owe nothing on it.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[Caller]

And that's kind of where I'm sort of attached to the truck. I had about. Okay. It's. It's a complicated thing because I am capable of Fixing this truck myself.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[Caller]

Take the time away from work to keep fixing it.

[Rachel Cruze]

100.

[John Deloney]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

How much is the truck worth?

[Caller]

And so it's worth about 14,000.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[John Deloney]

What do you have done to it?

[Caller]

Well, so it needed some motor work.

[John Deloney]

And then I hit an elk. And after.

[Rachel Cruze]

Well, okay. Well, I think I kept an elk.

[John Deloney]

Did you, did you dress it and eat it?

[Rachel Cruze]

Gross.

[Caller]

No, they told me I couldn't. It was sad, man.

[John Deloney]

You called it in. Good for you for being a good citizen, man.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, so. So you feel like you're putting too much into and it's breaking too much. And once it's fixed from the elf. The elf. The elk incident, Is it going to be okay?

[John Deloney]

Yeah.

[Caller]

And I'm in favor of fixing it.

[John Deloney]

I'd rather fix it. I might be a little attached to it, but I can fix it for like 3500 bucks.

[Caller]

I just need. Well, I need something. In the meantime. It's going to be down two to three weeks at least. And I have to use my truck every day.

[John Deloney]

How much does it cost to pay somebody?

[Rachel Cruze]

Pay somebody.

[Caller]

I'll have to look into renting. It needs to be at least a one ton truck, so.

[John Deloney]

No, no, no. How much. How much would it cost for you to take your car to a mechanic and say, I need this back in 72 hours?

[Caller]

So I got a quote for $7,400 and it would be two weeks.

[John Deloney]

Okay. So. Oh, it'd be two weeks also.

[Caller]

And that's not including the body work, so.

[John Deloney]

Really? And the body work was 72.

[Rachel Cruze]

Go rent. Go rent a truck for. Go rent a truck for two weeks and call it a day. Get the truck.

[John Deloney]

Yeah. Because you're looking about renting a truck and you're looking at the car repairs. Let's say ten grand total. You're gonna spend double, triple, quadruple that on a new truck.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. So keep it.

[John Deloney]

I, I don't know. If you love the truck and you.

[Rachel Cruze]

Hit it, you hit an elk. Like it's different. If you're like putting $1,000 into it every two weeks because it's falling apart. I don't know. I don't know much about trucks, but an elk is animals. I would assume it would be wreck. Yeah, yeah. Keep it. Keep it, Aaron. Fix it. And rent. Rent for 2 weeks if you have to. Tax season is upon us. So to get free checklists and guides that'll help you file, go to ramseysolutions.com taxes we are here to help. All right, let's go to Laura in San Antonio, Texas. Hi, Laura, welcome to the show.

[Caller]

Thank you for taking my call.

[Rachel Cruze]

Absolutely. How can we help?

[Caller]

I lost my job and now my investment property is in foreclosure exposure.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, my goodness. I'm so sorry.

[John Deloney]

When did you lose your job?

[Caller]

It's. Well, I lost my job and then I got another job and then I was laid off of that job.

[John Deloney]

Oh, man.

[Caller]

So my. I lost my second job. December. These past. Past December.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[John Deloney]

When's the last time you made a payment on your investment property?

[Caller]

So the investment property was an Airbnb and then we listed it for long term rental when the renters moved out. Out. I list. I. That's when I lost my job. And as soon as I lost my job, I listed the home for sale with no leads. I was depleting my savings. I had five months of savings and I paid every single month on time. I had excellent credit and I didn't want to ruin it. But then I depleted my savings and the realtors couldn't sell the house. So I changed realtors, hoping that would solve the issues. Still didn't happen. And after four months, well, they tried to do a short sale that didn't work. And after four months, that's when they, they did foreclosure on it. So it's now in foreclosure.

[Rachel Cruze]

Where is it in the process? Where are you guys at with the bank and everything?

[Caller]

They. The last letters we received were in December when I was laid off, and they said that they were going to list it the first of the month. Okay. To take bids. Yeah. So to be honest, I have no idea.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, when will they, when will they start that. The auction process? Do you know? They said a date. They set a date for it. Oh, it started in December. And when will they December close the bit like when will they close the bidding?

[Caller]

I have no idea.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, so I would probably get some, some dates. I would call the bank and have you communicated with them at all since December or was the. That letter of communication the last.

[Caller]

So when I call them, they said they can't help me, that the loan is no longer with them, that it's in foreclosure. And they don't give me any information. They're saying that the short sale didn't go through.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah.

[Caller]

And now it's in foreclosure. So I have no idea who to call. I've even called the FDA or I don't remember what it is.

[Rachel Cruze]

Right, right. Well, that's odd. Yeah, because the, because it'll be a bank owned Property. Right. At one point. But. But what you're on the hook for and everything is what I would, you know, I. I would want all the facts of their dates and. And what their plan is, and for them not to be able to help you is just. That's. That's crazy. Okay, so when was. When was. Well, I guess it doesn't matter. It's already in foreclosure. I was going to ask when the last month that you actually made the payment, but that would have been back in the fall, right?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. Okay, so for income for you, Laura, what are you. What. What were you doing for a job in December that you got laid off? Off?

[Caller]

I was making 75,000 as a project coordinator.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, wow. So an amazing job. How's your current residence right now, your primary residence? How are you paying your mortgage for that?

[Caller]

Yes. So my husband covers all our primary residence bills and mortgage, along with the food and gas. So that's helpful.

[Rachel Cruze]

So the. So the investment property was in your name, and he let. He let it go in for foreclosure. You guys kept your money separate because you couldn't pay it. It goes into foreclosure.

[Caller]

It was under both of our names.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay. But he didn't have money either to be able to help with it.

[Caller]

No. So the only money that he has is to take care of our primary home where we live and all of our bills.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[Caller]

Since I don't have a job now.

[Rachel Cruze]

And then he's. And then he's out, his income just does that. And then you guys have no other margin.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[John Deloney]

I say this with all due respect because I care about you, but you can't wait around for another $75,000 project coordinator job. You got to go get a job or two jobs or three jobs right now. Making anything. Starbucks, Home Depot, any job. Because you have two issues. One, you have a math problem you gotta solve, and the second thing is you've gotta get your feet back underneath you, confidence wise. And. And man, there is no question about it. Rachel and I are sitting here in the. In the ash with you getting fired from two different jobs back to back, and one's. One. At least one of them was a killer. Great job. That's heartbreaking and hard. And the solution isn't just sending out a bunch of resumes on LinkedIn or hoping that another one falls out of the sky. I just gotta. Right now I got a math problem I've gotta solve and I gotta get back on it in a big way. Rachel, I don't know where to. To. I wouldn't even know who to call for that.

[Rachel Cruze]

Well, I mean, I would tell you they're going to continue to. They'll continue to at least have to communicate with you at some degree. So whether it's letters, which was, you know, 20 days ago, or whatnot. But I would continue until it gets all buttoned up, until the property sells. To know everything like that, that's what I would be doing. But honestly, the saving grace, Laura, is that it was a investment property. It's not your primary home, so you're not losing your actual residence, which is huge. But your credit, I mean, your credit score is gonna be completely dinged. I mean, that's. Yeah. For not even dinged.

[John Deloney]

It's.

[Rachel Cruze]

But again, we don't worship at the altar of that either. And I think moving forward with John's saying is exactly right for you guys. Get this all cleaned up, which hopefully in the next, gosh, 30, 60 days, you know, you'll, you'll have everything kind of buttoned up with that. And then it's the moving forward process that you're gonna have to be able to focus on and that's gonna be that income.

[John Deloney]

Laura, hang on the line. Um, I'm going to send you every dollar premium app, it's a budgeting app. And also we're going to send you Financial Peace University, the digital lessons. Because this may be, this is going to be a really painful, awful, hard process with the foreclosure and all the letters you're going to get and all the threats you're going to get and all that kind of stuff. But Rachel, you just mentioned it and I'd missed this and I want to call it out. This might be your chance for you and your husband to get completely off the credit score. The passive income, all the nonsen sense that we're told signifies we have wealth in our, in our culture. And this might be a moment for you and your husband to completely change how y' all do money. And we're not going to owe anybody any money. As for our house, we don't borrow money anymore. We're going to get an emergency fund. We're going to be our own credit card. We're going to be our own support network and we're going to build wealth the old fashioned way, which is slowly and over time. And hang on the line here, we'll hook you up with those resources. I know this is a messy, hard time.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah, for sure. But it is like, it's a cautionary take and I'M sorry, Laura, that you have to be the example of it. But, guys, this is what we talk about with especially all these hacks and this stuff of like, oh, we can do this and this, we can Airbnb that and all of it, you know, for sure, sometimes. Does it work? Absolutely. But there's also a huge reality that it doesn't. Right. And it adds so much stress. And not that they were necessarily trying to do a shortcut, but there is this. I think it's a facade out there of like, okay, yeah, here's some passive income, here's an easy way to make money. You know, all this stuff. And people fall for it all the time. All the time.

[John Deloney]

Or they just sit on one side of the fulcrum, right? They sit on one side of the teeter totter and they're like, look, it's always going to be like this. And then reality crashes down on the other side of it.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yes.

[John Deloney]

And.

[Rachel Cruze]

And it's like, you know, and it's the perfect storm. I mean, Laura, seriously, you lose the job, someone gets sick, someone gets pregnant, wants to stay home, right? I mean, like, anything in life, that can happen. That's why carrying debt carries risk. Because when life happens, it's not if it does, but when it does, does. When life happens, all the cards are on the table. And if it's a house of cards that you've built and three of the bottom, you know, the foundation get fallen out, you know, fall out, the whole thing crumbles. And that's what she's experiencing right now. Versus if you say, okay, I am going to take it slow, I'm going to. If I can't, if I can't pay for it in full, we're not buying it. You know, we are going to take our time building wealth over a proven method. What you do is you create a really sturdy foundation. So if a couple of those fall, your whole thing is, you know, you lose a job. Well, you have an emergency fund. You don't have consumer debt. You know, you. You got six months, you know, saved over here. Like, that's old school, say, for a rainy day. That's old school. It's not cool and awesome and so fun in this hack. But, man, when life happens, you're not shaken. Right? And, and so that's common sense, you guys. That's biblical. Like, there's so much scripture in Proverbs, Proverbs about this. About what? Just slow the diligent prosper, continue on the path, even though it's not flashy. And exciting. And you don't get cool Airbnbs and invest in this course that this 28 year old guy is like, look, I make a billion dollars a month off of this, you know, and everyone buy my course and everyone goes and buys it thinking they're gonna be that. Like, it's just, it's not real. It's not real.

[John Deloney]

Or the number of people who after all the expenses on like their Airbnb, they're like, I make $1,000 a month and I ask them what their mortgage is and they're like, well, it's 2700. And I think if you had just paid that off, you would technically be making 2700 bucks. But you're making money.

[Rachel Cruze]

That's right. That's right.

[John Deloney]

So I'm going to pay 2700 so I can make a thousand. And it's like, it's such a weird trade.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yes, 100%. I know you guys. So remember, slow and steady, the boring way of building wealth. It's the safest and the less risky. Welcome back to the Ramsey show in the Fair Winds Credit Union studio. I am Rachel Cruz hosting this hour with Dr. John DeLoney and we are taking your calls at 888, 825-5225. All right, let's go to Ann in Seattle, Washington. Hi Ann, welcome to the show.

[Caller]

Hi. Thank you so much for taking my call.

[Rachel Cruze]

Absolutely. How can we help today?

[Caller]

So I've been engaged for almost two years. About a year ago, my fiance suggested we consider getting a prenup. We both have children who are adults now. We have our own property and we both are self employed with our own businesses. I've been a single mom, never married, and he was previously married for almost 23 years. The property that I have is paid off and I don't have any debt. He's paying on a mortgage and he has some other debt, although I'm not sure exactly how much. So I'm trying to figure out how we plan a future together if our assets and finances stay separate. I'm 46 and he's almost 50, so I feel like we still have so many years ahead of us for wealth building and, you know, just putting a future together and.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. How much, how much are your net worths? Like how if. What, what's your net worth? What's it is?

[Caller]

So after like taxes and expenses with the business. So mine would be, oh, worth like what I make every year or they.

[Rachel Cruze]

Can be that or just like what are you worth? Like if you put all of your.

[John Deloney]

Your house, your business, your cars, everything.

[Rachel Cruze]

All your retirement, everything.

[Caller]

Oh, so mine is probably 550,000. Okay, almost 600,000. And I know, what about him?

[Rachel Cruze]

What would he be worth?

[Caller]

So I know his property. Well, the house and the property combined are worth about 750, but he owes 280 on the mortgage.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, so 500. Does he have a lot of retirement?

[Caller]

I don't think he has any retirement.

[Rachel Cruze]

You don't think or do you know, so. Because in order to sign a prenup, you kind of have to, you know what I mean? I'm like, before I'd even talk about that, I'd have every piece of information financially, about each other.

[Caller]

I almost feel like he's, he's waiting to disclose all that when it comes time to put together the prenup. Because I, I'm really open about just everything, my finances and, and just, just any, I'm, I'm very open. I like to talk about, well, yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

Well, you're gonna get married to the guy. So I'm curious why he's not so open about it.

[John Deloney]

Here's the thing. I, I, I'm gonna be honest. I've been working on a marri couple of years and I have had my, my firm, firm immovable position on prenups really challenged in a good way. And it's James Sexton, an attorney out of New York, who, he's the one who challenged me on it. And it was this. Every married couple has a prenup, and it is whatever the state you live in says, this is how we're going to split it up unless you all sit down and write out, out while you still like each other, what would happen if, okay, we could, we could debate that. In fact, some of my colleagues disagree with me. I, I, I'm, I'm not, I'm unsettled in my opinion on it because I do feel like if you make a prenup, you're already getting into the boat thinking, well, I just need to have an escape plane if this thing happens. And I do think there's wisdom in talking about, okay, if this many percentage of marriages don't work work, and you're marrying somebody who already has had one that didn't work. Let's be honest about what happens if this doesn't. And we're going to do everything we can. So that's for a different discussion. To me, my biggest red flag for you is what a prenup would serve you two right now is to make sure your kids are Protected.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. I was gonna say the adult kids change for me. Yeah.

[John Deloney]

And not. It's not a way to keep secrets from each other or to keep everything separate forever. Because once y' all get married, we're gonna have one checking account. We're gonna put all of our money in this thing together. And his business may pay him, and your business may pay you a salary, but it's going to go into the same account. And if it doesn't, a prenup's not going to solve that. A prenup is not a. A cover for division. Right. It's just a plan.

[Caller]

So I. I think his. I think his. It seems like his biggest concern. Well, he almost lost his home during his divorce or going through his divorce, and he. And if he had to come up with so much money to keep it.

[John Deloney]

That pain is real. The pain is real.

[Caller]

Yeah. But I totally understand it and respect that.

[John Deloney]

I. I do. I know, but he can't hand you that cinder block and say, you carry this for me. Him getting remarried to you is him saying, okay, here we go again. I'm going to put both feet back in the same boat. Right. Because otherwise he's going to have a foot hanging out of the boat and the y' all will never get out of the bay.

[Caller]

Yeah. He. He has said he would like to leave his property to his daughters.

[John Deloney]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

And that's okay.

[John Deloney]

That's super fair.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. That's fine. Yeah. So. So, yeah. My thing is. Yeah. And I'm with John. I'm not black and white on the issue of prenups. Usually if there's a discrepancy in wealth going into a marriage, that's one time that I'm like, I get that. This is another. If there's.

[John Deloney]

You have adult kids with assets.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yes. Adult kids. And in a second marriage. And you know what I mean, all of that. And it's like, hey, the adult kids want. I want this to go to them because I've worked hard for this. And I mean, all of that. That's. That seems fair to me. What I don't like is you not knowing exactly the. You don't know him fully, and you're engaged and you're engaged to him. So that. That does worry me. And I would want to make sure that the language. That you have enough representation, if you guys do go into this and do some kind of prenup, that you have representation on your end, because it does sound like. Like, you have no debt, you have a home, you've done very well financially. He has a home, but he has debt is what you said. You think you don't even. I don't even know if you don't.

[John Deloney]

Even know how much. You don't even know or how much.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. So. So, I mean, you could be in a better financial situation than he even is, but I would just want to make sure you have representation on your end as well, Ann. But it would not be a. That's not, that's not the black and white issue to me. What worries me that, though, is the secrets. Yeah. How, how this is coming about.

[John Deloney]

Does that bother you? And I'm just curious because it would. I, I, I wouldn't be able to get close to somebody if they were like, hey, you can know all of me. Let's get married. But this one part, you can't know what's in these accounts.

[Caller]

Yeah, he just. So I'm not like, the kind of person. I don't. I've been almost afraid to ask because I don't want to. I don't want to seem like I'm being nosy or.

[John Deloney]

You're about. Listen, hon, you're about to be his wife.

[Caller]

Wife. Yeah.

[John Deloney]

You're about to be his wife.

[Caller]

I didn't want to offend him by, like, part, you know, for a while. I'm just like. I'm like, well, it's not my business.

[John Deloney]

That's not. It is. You're about to become his. You're about to become his wife. What. What if he owes $20 million in, in back taxes and debt? Right. You want to know?

[Rachel Cruze]

And Ann, you're. And I get, and I get your kindness of spirit. I can, like, feel that from you. And it's so wonderful and such a good gift, but you need to have the strength to push into areas of this marriage that are uncomfortable in order for this marriage to thrive. It's not sweeping things under the ruck. And you already begun that habit. And that's not a great setup.

[John Deloney]

Burying parts of yourself to keep the.

[Rachel Cruze]

Peace and asking your fiance his money situation is not rude or weird. Like, that's. Do you know what I mean? You're not like, I don't know. It's like, you're not asking them. Be like, hey, you need to move to a foreign country with me for 18 years or whatever. I don't know. It's probably something up and big, and you're like, oh, my gosh. What? This is just like, this is pretty basic stuff. And like, so can I get your.

[Caller]

Opinion on something else real quick?

[Rachel Cruze]

10 seconds. Go.

[Caller]

Okay. He has said that he doesn't. He don't. Doesn't want to move from the home that he shared with his previous wife, even after I suggested we build a home together. I have property we can build on, or I can sell my property and pay off his mortgage.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[Caller]

And he's just like, those are options for him. He just.

[Rachel Cruze]

You know what? I'm gonna hold you because I'll. We'll answer that in the next segment. So stay on the line, and we'll get right back to you. How many of you are ready for a fresh start with money this year? Maybe you want to pay off debt or start saving for retirement. And those are great car goals, but you're also probably thinking, well, sure, Rachel, but with what money? My budget is so tight as it is. Listen, I hear you, but you can do more with your money this year. And our EveryDollar budget app helps you find margin to make it happen. This is such a game changer. EveryDollar digs into your money situation just like we do on the show. Then it finds extra money you could put towards your goals every month. And the average person is finding $3015 in just 15 minutes. Think about what that could mean for your family. Think about how much more peace you would have. Guys, you can make this an amazing year with money. Go download everydollar and start for free. Today, One of our favorite things is hearing people share their stories on how they're winning with money. And so we got this one from Claire and Winston. Great name. This is me and my husband's third month of budgeting with the EveryDollar app. And I am amazed at how much money we have found. We went from feeling like we were living paycheck to paycheck to finding $3,500 extra in margin each month to put towards our debt.

[John Deloney]

$3,000?

[Rachel Cruze]

Yes, 3,500. We each had four credit cards and have been able to pay them all off. We are never going back. It's incredible, you guys. So if you want that kind of control, you want to see your income go as far as possible for you. Every Dollar is the most amazing budgeting app, so you can go download it for free at every dollar. You can go to the App Store or Google Play. And this is where you start to really change your family tree. And like we say all the time, you live like no one else. The later you get to live and give like no one else. And it starts with taking control of your income. All right, we're going to go Back to Ann. We were talking to her. She is getting married. She is engaged. Her husband, this is her. His second marriage. They both have adult children. They both own homes, own businesses. The question was about a prenup. She doesn't fully know all of his financial information. And then right before we were going to break, she started talking about their home situation. So, Ann, is that a good summary over all?

[Caller]

Yeah. Yeah.

[John Deloney]

So your. Your husband, I mean, your. Your fiance does not want to move out of the house he shared with his ex wife for more than two decades. And you have said, I don't feel comfortable living in that house. Let's build something new. You can move into my house. I've got property. And he said, deal breaker. I stay here?

[Caller]

Pretty much, yeah.

[John Deloney]

Okay.

[Caller]

Yeah. I. But even after, I. I'm like, you know, I'm. I'm, of course, I'm willing to make sacrifices. And so I. I just want to get him. I. I want to see him. I want him to, you know, take a break. He's been working so hard all these years to, you know, to recover from the divorce, and, and so I even suggested I could sell my property and, and we could use that money to pay off his mortgage, but he doesn't want to do that either. And I'm just kind of not sure where to go from here.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. Because that would mess up the prenup. I mean, that's you putting your assets into the asset that he's then going to give his kids, and you're not getting any part of that. Right. So that's where the whole kind of. Of like, it starts to be really complicated. Really.

[John Deloney]

Can I tell you what I. What I hear? And this is going to be really hard for me to say an okay, I hear a guy that likes you. I'll even go as far to say he loves you and he wants to be with you, and he sees, like, I want to be with her long term, but I don't see a guy who wants to get married.

[Caller]

I. I did ask him a couple weeks ago, just really like asking it. I was blunt. I'm like, are you sure you want to get married? And he says. He says, heck, yeah.

[John Deloney]

Okay. But I think he has a picture of what marriage is, and you have a picture of what marriage is, and you're both using the same word, but your pictures are very different. So around here at the office, we say clear is kind. I think the kindest thing y' all could do for each other is to in is exquisite detail as possible. Y' all detail out what your picture of marriage looks like. From how we talk about money, to sex and intimacy, to inheritance, to wills, to one checking account. Whatever your picture of marriage is, I want you to have the courage to write it out and share it with him and ask him to do the same thing. And hopefully 80, 90% of it, it all matches. And then you're going to have to. To compromise, negotiate, walk away from each other. Because the other 5 or 10% is so big.

[Rachel Cruze]

Right.

[John Deloney]

Or maybe it's, okay, I can do that, but you can do this. But y' all are both have different pictures of what this thing looks like.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. Because there is a level of sacrifice and meeting in the middle, and it sounds like he's putting up some really hard lines of even where I'm going to live here. And you got to deal with it. Yeah, that's a lot.

[John Deloney]

I'm going to be there.

[Rachel Cruze]

I mean. Yeah.

[John Deloney]

I don't care what your values are.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. So making sure those values are aligned are huge. And so. So, yeah, when it comes to the housing situation, I mean, it's whatever you're comfortable with. I mean, from the math perspective, if you own a home, he owns a home. He wants you to live in his home. And if it's in the prenup that his home then goes not to you. If something happens to him, it goes to his adult kids. You need to make sure that your home then. That you have the equity built in so that you have a place to go to. Not necessarily the home itself, but the funds and the equity that's in your home, if you do end up selling it and moving in to his home, that. That's yours. Right. So it's not fair for you to wash yours clean. He keeps all this and then keeps it. If something happens in the marriage. So, yeah, if.

[John Deloney]

But if two people are getting married and they both have houses and they want to sell their house, combine that money and go buy a house together, and one of them is not prenuping it away from the other person. Yeah, that's awesome. Combine everything. You want to go all 100.

[Rachel Cruze]

That's usually what you do. Yeah. But he wants to keep this house for his adult kids.

[John Deloney]

Kids. Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

So it's like, okay, well, then you need to make sure that your house then is in a protection for you and. Or at least the equity in there. Right.

[John Deloney]

We're just hearing over and over and you squashing what you're feeling, you squashing what you think is right. You. You molding yourself to fit into this other guy's picture of his life. And I want you to have the courage, for your sake, for your kids, for your future, to write down, here's what I really want. Want. Here's what I really believe. And have the courage to share that with him. And he might look at that and walk away. And that you're. You're worth that risk.

[Rachel Cruze]

Well said. That's great. All right, let's go to Samuel in Columbia. Hi, Samuel. Welcome to the show.

[Caller]

Hey, how you doing?

[Rachel Cruze]

We're doing great. How can we help?

[Caller]

Awesome. Yeah. So going through some forbearance stuff with my mortgage company. Took a pretty big hit last year on my income decreasing due to a family member's medical problem. Me and my wife, we have three kids, one on the way. The mortgage company up my mortgage of $1,500 for the next six months to square away November, December, and January. I got a car that's about 60 days past due. I have a lease that the payment on. It's cheaper. So we're currently trying to keep the leased vehicle to get out of the higher payment of the other vehicle. And I don't mind explaining details as we go through this. I'm just trying to lay things a little bit of a PowerPoint out for you. But that's basically where I was at. We was pulling 8 to 10k a month for the past two to three years. March of 2020. Yes. In income, 8 to 10 grand a month. That was what was rotating through my accounts until the. The situation that happened with my great aunt.

[Rachel Cruze]

So how much are you making now?

[Caller]

So currently my past few checks. Now I'm in the car business. I sell used vehicles. I worked for. I worked with a company that sells you vehicles, and I've been racking in somewhere around 35 to 4 grand a month. Does your wife work in the slow season? I'm sorry?

[Rachel Cruze]

Does your wife work?

[Caller]

No, not currently.

[Rachel Cruze]

Home with the kids?

[Caller]

We have a. Correct.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, and she's pregnant. She's on the way.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. Okay. Gotcha, gotcha. So you're. So you're. Four grand a month. Okay. So that's during the slow season. Where do you see yourself? March, April, May, June, July? What do you think you could get that up to?

[Caller]

Well, so obviously we're here on the edge of tax season. Things are going to kick in. I'll probably start racking back in 8 to 10K.

[John Deloney]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[John Deloney]

Or, you know, the.

[Rachel Cruze]

Really, it's the four months. Okay, perfect. So it's the upped mortgage that's usually higher because you guys went into forbearance. So we're food, shelter, utilities, transportation. That's our. That's our key. So keeping the house current is going to be your number one priority. Okay. And then these, this car, the car with the loan. Are you underwater on that?

[Caller]

I am. I am almost 60 days past due on it. It's. It's the same vehicle. It's a suburban.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay. Okay. You sold. I don't want. I don't want it to be repoed because then you got nothing. So what if you sold it?

[Caller]

Well, so that's the problem. I can't sell it. I kind of packed in some negative equity on top of it. I have tried to sell it. I have tried to reach out to the bank to prompt them on.

[Rachel Cruze]

Totally. How much do you owe on it? How much do you owe on it?

[Caller]

52,000.

[Rachel Cruze]

52.

[Caller]

62.

[Rachel Cruze]

62. Okay. 62. If you were to sell it, I'm just wondering what could you get for it? 20,000?

[Caller]

30, maybe 50.

[Rachel Cruze]

50. Okay. Okay. All right. We're going somewhere. I would get rid of it. The fact that you already can't make this payment. Okay, Samo, you sell it to an individual, get it out. Because if you keep. Stop. If you're not able to keep making these payments, they're going to just take it and then you're going to have $62,000 and then they're going to sell it for nothing on their end and you're going to owe so much. So I would sell this.

[Caller]

How do I do that with the bank going in the title?

[Rachel Cruze]

Well, you could. Well, you're going to have to take a small personal loan, probably from a credit union. So I would take the 12,000? Yes. And I'd be a one car family for a season. That's going to be so uncomfortable. But getting this taken care of. So, so, so see if you can go get a $12,000 loan, pay the difference, get rid of the suburban and stay current on the mortgage. That is priority. Even if you have to take an extra job, that's priority.

[Caller]

Foreign.

[John Deloney]

Hey, guys, George Camel here. Do you ever feel like insurance companies only care about your money and not what you actually need? Well, there's a better way. When you go to Ramsey's insurance resource hub, you'll start feeling confident that you're getting the right coverage that's truly best for you. You'll find helpful info on everything from life insurance, health insurance, identity theft, protection, and more. And when you're ready to get the coverage you need, you can connect with a Ramsey trusted insurance pro who will.

[Caller]

Only get you what you need at the best price.

[John Deloney]

Go to ramseysolutions.com insurance ramseysolutions.com insurance.

[Rachel Cruze]

Here in Nashville, Tennessee, we do the show live every day from 1 to 4. So you can come in and visit us, which people do from all over the country, whether they're driving through Nashville or they make it a destination stop. So we have. We do the show live with some glass, and we always have a great audience out there that comes and sits and there's free cookies and coffees, teas, all of it. And then in the lobby, we also have the debt free stage. So whenever there is any standing on the stage, we know it is time to celebrate. So welcome, you guys. Thank you.

[John Deloney]

Thank you.

[Rachel Cruze]

Absolutely. We have Nick and Renee from Chicago and they are here and made the big trip down because you are debt free.

[John Deloney]

Debt free. Yes.

[Rachel Cruze]

We are amazing, you guys. Okay, so how much debt did you pay off? So we paid a total of $160,000. 811 or $160,811. 63. Oh, my gosh. How long did that take you? Six years. Six years. Amazing. Okay, and what kind of debt was it?

[John Deloney]

Student loans, credit card, but mostly student loans.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay, so consumer debt and a car note. Car credit card, everything. Everything. Just the life. Just the life. Oh, my gosh. Okay, so six years ago, what started changing for you guys? What made you start chunking down at $160,000 in debt?

[Caller]

Well, we were on our way to.

[John Deloney]

Our honeymoon, and the drive down to Hilton Head was.

[Rachel Cruze]

We were listening to Ramsey. So that was.

[John Deloney]

That was our honeymoon. What a way to start the honeymoon, guys.

[Rachel Cruze]

I know. So I started going. We were at Waterfront church at the time, and I. They were offering financial peace. And so we did that along with our premarital counseling. And so I drank the Kool Aid. 100%. We got married, we drove to Hilton Head. And so I was like, yeah, let's listen. Let's do this. And he never said, let's take a break from this. So we just kept listening to one after the other. And. And so that's just what we did. But we've done financial peace every single year just to make sure we were staying motivated. Oh, my gosh. So you went through it a lot. So we've gone through it a lot, but it helped us stay motivated. 100. I mean, all the way. Because the majority of this was my student loans, and that was really hard. So, like, going through the Financial piece every year. It just helped us stay on point. It helped us stay focused. What was your degree in? I did a bachelor in psychology, and then I have a master of education and science. Amazing. Yeah. So how much. How much were you guys making during that time? I meant to ask you that earlier, but with that degree and everything. Yeah. So we started at $106,829, and then we ended with. Well, currently we're at about 131,700. Okay. Amazing. Amazing. Oh, my gosh. You guys.

[John Deloney]

Okay, can I. Can I jump in here? I have a question for you. Yeah, I've never asked this. I don't think of a couple ever.

[Rachel Cruze]

All right, bring it on.

[John Deloney]

I would love for you to talk to the couples out there there, where one of the people in that couple feels like the majority of the debt that we're trying to both pay off I brought into this thing.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah.

[John Deloney]

And there's some guilt there. There's some shame there. Like, talk about how that felt knowing four years in, this guy married me, and we're still not eating out because we're still trying to pay this stupid thing up. Right.

[Rachel Cruze]

Right. Yeah, I'm. Yes. You nailed it in one. So it has been super challenging and emotionally challenging. All challenging.

[John Deloney]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yes. And so when we. Before we got married, we had talked about, what does your debt look like? You know, and he's telling me. He's like, oh, I've got a lot.

[Caller]

Oh, yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, no. And I was like, oh, gosh. Because I'm just thinking of mine. Totally is. And he's like, about $12,000. And I was like, oh. And then I thought, well, this is the end of this, you know? So then I told him mine, and he was just like, okay, let's do it. And it was. What was it? 120? 130. Yeah, 130. 130. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruze]

And so he was just like, okay, all right, let's do this. And so every time I would get super upset or have a challenge or just like, oh, my gosh, I can't believe. Believe I'm the reason we're still in this. I'm. And he's just like, nope, this is ours. We're doing this together. We're in it.

[John Deloney]

You're a great man, brother.

[Rachel Cruze]

He is. I've got a really good guy, so he's been in it with me from day one. And it's.

[John Deloney]

So what do you tell that person listening. Who doesn't want to come clean about what they owe Is afraid of saddling their spouse with this journey.

[Rachel Cruze]

I would say you have to be honest and open about it because that's what made so we've been married six years, and that's what's made this marriage so strong. I mean, we had a lot of other elements.

[Caller]

You know, we.

[Rachel Cruze]

We had a lot of other things moving forward in this. Like, we were doing IVF through this. We were paying cash for that. So it was just like to consistently have that. That debt loan on top of it, it was. It was just hard. But knowing that he was there with me, he was supporting me, that we were supporting each other. Other, we learned how to say no to each other, which was amazing. Yeah. You know, the best way I could put it is trust, open mindedness, and to love as unconditionally as you can. It's beautiful. It's a hard thing to do. It's a hard thing to do every day. Yeah. It's making a choice, but it's a.

[John Deloney]

Hard thing to do. And it's a hard thing to receive.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yes. Okay, so for you guys on this journey, who out of the two of you, who's more of the spender, who's more of the saver, who's more of the pre. Spirit? Like, would you say you had, like, different personalities through it or were y' all pretty honed in together? It sounds like y' all are pretty similar from the way you're talking. But I'm curious. I think I may have become more of the spender now. I don't know. Nick's like, I can do this. I can spend some. Yeah, he's good at spending. He's good. I love it. I love it. So what would you say was the hardest part of this journey? I mean, we kind of talked about some of the. Just like the marathon and all life that was in there, but was there a part that was like, whoo, that is tough.

[John Deloney]

So after all the smaller debt and then it became the student loan debt.

[Rachel Cruze]

And then it was that time when we were going through the ivf.

[Caller]

That was a challenge.

[John Deloney]

But we had to break it down into, like, little victories. Making this amount this month or this amount every quarter, you know, whatever it is great. And just. And, you know, celebrate those little ones.

[Rachel Cruze]

I love it. Yeah. Okay, so what would you say the key of getting out of debt is? If someone were to ask, be diligent.

[John Deloney]

And just do it. All in all or nothing.

[Rachel Cruze]

The budget has. I mean, as everyone often says, the budget is essential. Learning how to say no, and we're both people pleasers. So that was really challenging, I think, especially in the beginning. Beginning. So, yeah, that's what I would say to that also. It's amazing, you guys. Oh. So how does it feel? Fantastic. It's a huge. It's. It's a huge burden off. Yes. And it's just so funny because we have old cars. So, like, Christmas came, And between the two cars, we still had over $3,500 of car repair. We just did. So it's like it's not over. Yeah.

[Caller]

Life's still happening.

[Rachel Cruze]

It doesn't just end. So know that. Yes, that's right. Life is still. So. Life is still moving. Yeah. But we made it down to Nashville in eight hours. Yes. There you go.

[John Deloney]

And if you get out of here in time, you'll miss the snowpocalypse.

[Rachel Cruze]

We will be leaving.

[John Deloney]

Yes. We will be going up to one time.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, well, you guys. Amazing. Absolutely incredible. What an incredible journey you've been on. And we so appreciate you sharing your story and just inspiring people. Right. I mean, because you hear 160,000 and it is. It's a big number, but yet people do it. People are on their journey. So some people may be starting. Some people maybe. Maybe at the very end, and they're hearing this, and it's the motivation they need. So we are so excited, so happy to celebrate you all. All right, so we have Nick and Renee from Chicago, Illinois. They paid off $160,000 in debt in six years, making 106 to $131,000 a year. All right, you guys, count it down. Let's hear your big debt free scream.

[John Deloney]

All right, three, two, one.

[Caller]

We're debt free. Love it.

[Rachel Cruze]

Love it. The intensity. You can feel it.

[John Deloney]

It's still. It's still one of my favorite parts of this show.

[Rachel Cruze]

Just the relief, man. That is.

[John Deloney]

Very few people can do something for six years.

[Rachel Cruze]

It's a lot. Long time.

[John Deloney]

It's a long time.

[Rachel Cruze]

That's a long time. They just kept showing up and chipping away each little bit at a time. Oh, my gosh. Nick and Renee. Absolutely incredible. Absolutely, absolutely incredible.

[John Deloney]

If your holiday ham tends to last longer than your New Year's resolutions, then I got a fresh challenge for you. Make this the year you take control of your financial future with an actionable plan. Sound intimidating? You don't have to do it alone. Smartvestor pros are financial advisors who can walk you through what you need to know about retirement planning, wealth management, and anything in between. Find a pro near [e-mail] Smartvestor Ramsey Solutions is a paid non client promoter of participating pros. Learn [e-mail] SmartVestor.

[Caller]

Foreign.

[Rachel Cruze]

Of the day comes from Isaiah 26:3 I will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they trust in you. Maya Angelou said, you may not control all the events that have happened to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. That's good. Very important, empowering. All right. Let's go to Susie in Charlotte. Hi, Susie. Welcome to the show.

[Caller]

Hi, Rachel and John. I'm so excited to speak with you both. I appreciate you taking my call.

[Rachel Cruze]

Absolutely. How can we help today?

[Caller]

I'll ask my question and then I can give you a little more context if you'd like.

[Rachel Cruze]

Okay.

[Caller]

My question is when we're ready to retire, is it a good move for my husband and I to move money out of the the stock market into more conservative funds within our IRA for withdrawing that money? So here's a go ahead.

[Rachel Cruze]

Well, I was going to say, you know, depending on who you talk to in the financial planning world, some people go super conservative and they, you know, they suggest annuities, CDs, like putting your money in. But what we, I mean, but honestly, what we, who we talk about, talk to from the financial planning perspective and who we more tend to lean towards is leaving it in because for retirement, let's say you retire at 65, you know, you may still have 20 years of your life left and you would miss out on so much growth because a lot of the retirement, you may not even touch the actual nest egg. You'll just be actually living off of what it's making every year. And you're going to make nothing in a CD or annuity like all of that, even though it feels safe over such a long period of time of retirement, you're still going to make so much keeping it in.

[Caller]

Yeah. Our financial advisor had said that his rule of thumb or his thought process was that you could spend about 4% of your retirement savings each year. And you said that bond markets or money markets and bonds were paying about that. And that as we got closer to retirement, retirement, we could move some of our investments into that inside our ira, not annuities or anything, but leave it in the IRA just a different.

[John Deloney]

Yeah.

[Rachel Cruze]

And a lot of, and a lot of financial planners will do that because it's such a conservative rate. Like, in fact, I think Dave even says you could take on up to 6 to 8, you know, percent like so, so He. So I would say, like, if Dave Ramsey was sitting here, he would be way more on the liberal side of this. Meaning, like, leave it in, and you can actually probably take out more than 4%, but a financial planner is going to be more on the conservative end. So the fact that they said that is not shocking. But I would not. I would leave it in because. Yeah, because, I mean, at some point, you may not even keep up with inflation. You know, depending on what these money market accounts say, they're pretty good right now. But over time, we haven't always seen that rate of return. And so keeping them in the markets, you're going to be making so much money. I mean, on average, you're making, you know, 10 to 11% some years. I mean, last year was like 20 something percent. It was crazy. So you would miss out on so much growth, pulling your money out.

[Caller]

Okay, that's great.

[Rachel Cruze]

Thank you. Yeah, absolutely. Thanks for the call. All right, let's go to. Is it Angela in Dallas? Hi, Angela. Welcome to the show. Hi. Hello. Hello.

[Caller]

I have a quick question.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yes.

[Caller]

I feel like we're like best friends, so I'm so excited to talk to you.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh, my gosh. Gosh. You're our bff. We're so excited to talk to you. Okay.

[Caller]

I have a question. I just wanted some clarity about sinking funds. So I was listening to the podcast the other day with Jaden Kim, and she had mentioned that sinking funds are intended for expenses that you cannot cover on a monthly basis, or at least that's what I understood her to say. And it kind of like changed my whole life. So I. I feel like I'm kind of a free spirit when it comes to spending. But I'm also like, a budgeter, like no one's business. So I have a sinking fund for clothes, haircuts, oil changes, like, prior changes, and Christmas. But I do find that we're kind of dipping into the sinking funds on a monthly basis because we kind of need more funds. And so I'm thinking I might be creating sinking funds for things I might shouldn't be and should just be calculating for that in my regular checking account and then should be, like, saving for things like Christmas or tire changes. Does that make sense?

[Rachel Cruze]

Yes.

[Caller]

Could y' all elaborate on that a little bit for me?

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah, no, it's a great question. So, yeah, usually sinking funds are for a specific or the way I've looked at it, and I think people can use them different ways. George Campbell probably has, like, 20 sinking funds, let's be honest. So I'm sure everyone probably tends to do it differently. I don't think there's necessarily like a right or wrong. But for me, the most effective way that I think in order to keep a monthly budget budget and have sinking funds is that sinking funds have an end dates there. It's almost more like. Or for me, it's like a goal where I'm like, okay, I know Christmas is coming. I need to put X amount away for Christmas. Or a sinking fund for a trip coming up. Hey, we, we're gonna go to Disney next summer. Whatever. The thing is, let's save up a little bit at a time. Now what some people will do is they will roll over their amount in their budget for ongoing expenses. Just like clothes. Okay? So, like, I don't know, you get 100 bucks for clothes a month, and you're like, okay, I didn't spend that, so I want 200 for next month because I didn't spend it, so I want to roll it over. So a great way to track that is using sinking funds within the EveryDollar app. And people will do that. But that's more of a discussion of does the budget end with the. When the. When the month is done. What I would say is if you're in baby steps one through three and the month is done and you have money you have not spent, I would use that cash towards the debt or towards saving up for an emergency fund. But if you're past baby step three, then I would be okay with you rolling that over, you know, and using it for the next month. If you want, like, out to eat, you know, your restaurants or your. Your clothes. Does that make sense?

[Caller]

Yeah, no, that. That makes a lot of sense.

[John Deloney]

It just sounds like you're using the words sinking fund for like, four or five different things. That's. It sounds. It sounds like semantics.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah.

[Caller]

I kind of feel like if I was to, like, create a word picture for it, I feel like a squirrel a little bit. Like, I'm like, touching a little here.

[Rachel Cruze]

And a little here, and then I'm.

[Caller]

Pulling from this, and it's like, I feel like we might not be getting the momentum that we should be getting. So when she said that, I was like, I didn't put it in my checking account and, like, you know, go, okay. I know that when the season changes in April, I'm gonna need clothes, you know, like, so that's that. And then I know we're gonna get haircuts. This. You know what I mean?

[John Deloney]

And so those are budget lineups. Like Haircut is. Is a line item.

[Caller]

Yes.

[John Deloney]

And what I would challenge you is, like, if you. If, you know, like, when the season changes, I'm going to quote, unquote, need clothes. I would challenge you to be specific. For a season. I'm going to need two pair of long pants and a new jacket. Not. I'm going to need $600 to just go to the store and see. Right. And so if you quote, unquote, need clothes, then be specific about what you need and then reverse engineer that. Like, that's a sinking fun 600 bucks. So I need 50 bucks a month for the next however many months to get that number because I know what I'm going to go buy and that that specificity will force you to say, okay, this is a budget item, or this needs to go to debt, or this is a sinking fund. I want to buy a car, and it's 30,000 bucks. I don't have 30,000 extra dollars this month or any month, so I have to put this much money away every month. That's a sinking fund. But, like, I need haircuts. I'm going to need glasses. Like, those aren't sinking funds. Those are just budget line items.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruze]

Does that help?

[Caller]

Okay. Yes. Yeah. Okay. Thank y'.

[John Deloney]

All.

[Rachel Cruze]

Yeah. You're so welcome. Yeah. And. And again, it's. It is, you know, as you need. Right. I mean, yeah, whatever you. Whatever you want to do. Because in the EveryDollar app, we have the funds function in order for sinking funds. But also, if you have the Every dollar app. Oh, if you're using desktop over to the left hand side, there is actually a goals area. Like, you can click goals. And that's what I like. I actually like to use that function better than syncing funds because there's. For me, the end date is big, where I'm like, okay, I know this is happening now. Then I can do what you say, reverse engineer what I need to put away each month for that specific category.

[John Deloney]

But I like what she said. I like to think in my head, like, you know what battle the bands is next year? I'm going to need a new guitar, so I should probably just put a whole bunch of. Right. And then I'm going to go walk around and I'm going to buy a bunch. There's something about saying, okay, one, nobody needs a new guitar, but I want to buy this one. It's going to cost this much dollars. And so if I'm going to do this budget with integrity, which I don't always do, but if I'm going to do this, right? I'm going to get that dollar amount and go to the store and get that guitar and then we'll walk out the door.

[Rachel Cruze]

Totally. Yeah. That, that it is, is so specific, right?

[John Deloney]

Otherwise it becomes kind of the shopping process becomes a hobby and that's how I get myself back into old John Trouble.

[Rachel Cruze]

Old John trouble, yeah. Continues on. But I like it and I don't like the whole I need two pairs of pants and pair of shirt. Just go shop, go enjoy. Just live. Live in the moment, Angela. Live in the moment.

[John Deloney]

Must be nice.

[Rachel Cruze]

Oh my gosh. Must be nice. All right, well, thanks to everyone in the booth. Great show, John. Always fun and thank you America for listening. And remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace and that's to walk daily with the Prince of peace, Christ Jesus.