My Husband Won't Stop Lending His Mom Money

Summary

The Ramsey Show – "My Husband Won't Stop Lending His Mom Money" March 2, 2026 | Ramsey Network

EPISODE OVERVIEW This episode of The Ramsey Show, hosted by Ken Coleman and Jade Warshaw, digs deep into the challenges families face with conflicting money values—especially when extended family or in-laws are involved. The headline call features a wife deeply frustrated that her husband won't stop lending large sums to his mother, with the hosts providing insight into financial boundaries within marriage, transparent communication, and the necessity of unified financial planning. The show also covers a range of other callers facing debt, family expectations, home-buying decisions, and side hustles.

MAIN THEMES

• Setting firm boundaries with family regarding money
• Marriage unity and transparency in finances
• Importance of joint financial planning
• Cultural and emotional pressures impacting money decisions
• Navigating debt, budgeting, and the road to financial freedom

KEY SEGMENTS & DISCUSSION POINTS

I. When Your Spouse Keeps Lending to Family ([00:32] – [08:42])

Caller: Sarah from Philadelphia
Sarah’s husband repeatedly loans thousands of dollars to his mother, always for “emergencies,” leading to resentment and strife in her marriage.

Key Insights

• Ken and Jade immediately recognize this as a "leave and cleave" issue—putting the marital unit over parents when conflicts arise ([03:32]).
• The pattern: It's always thousands, at least annually, and Mom does eventually repay, but this doesn’t fix the underlying problem: “I’m tired of being her piggy bank.” (Sarah, [01:41])
• Joint finances are necessary: The couple does not have a truly joint account, leading to blurred boundaries and lack of accountability ([04:58]).
• Solution: The hosts recommend a full “operational reset” through marital therapy, emphasizing unity, transparency, and shared money goals/duties.
• Predicting future issues: Jade warns that poor money management means, “it’s only a matter of time before she stops paying you guys back.” ([08:07])
• Emotional manipulation: Ken cautions to expect “blowback from mom,” suggesting there’s a potential pattern of (conscious or not) manipulation ([08:25]).

Notable Quotes

• “You gotta go with the wife every time.” – Jade Warshaw ([03:32])
• “You got it twisted, like—you gotta choose your wife here... Take the emotional diaper off. This is embarrassing.” – Ken Coleman ([06:07])
• “The bigger problem is, we actually need to have full transparency on our money. We need to be fully combined.” – Jade Warshaw ([06:53])
• “This has to be a confrontation, and... a full blown operational reset. Gotta reboot.” – Ken Coleman ([07:57])

II. Dealing With Overwhelming Car Debt ([10:52] – [20:42])

Caller: Reagan, Houston, TX
A young couple is drowning in car loans ($40k+), feeling stuck paycheck-to-paycheck despite seemingly solid income.

Key Insights

• The main culprit: massive car payments and daycare costs. Jade calls for selling the expensive vehicle, using saved funds and upcoming scholarship money to clear the loan and buy a cheaper car with cash.
• Emotional blocks: “We’ve had bad luck with cars” and status concerns. Ken reframes, “You’re not stuck in a bad luck thing. You’re just a part of the human race... It’s a mindset” ([17:10]).
• Denial and consumer patterns: Emphasis on setting aside pride and getting intentional with budgeting and lifestyle changes to break the cycle.

Notable Moment Ken shares a story of driving an embarrassing old car—fixing the drooping ceiling felt with a staple gun—to normalize owning a “hooptie” as a temporary step toward financial peace ([19:00]).

III. Enabling vs. Helping Family Out of Dysfunction ([22:34] – [29:29])

Caller: Eric, Phoenix, AZ
Eric describes a family scenario where his mother cosigned a car for his brother, who won’t work or maintain it. Now the car is underwater, and family money is being drained.

Key Insights

• Ken is clear: “Your brother is impersonating a deadbeat... Deadbeats only wake up when they're forced to wake up.” ([24:08])
• The only real help: an honest, firm “no” and practical intervention—help list/sell the ruined car, stop bankrolling bad decisions, and refuse to enable further.
• Jade suggests a logistical move: have Mom refinance the car to get brother off the loan, and discipline from all siblings to “fire” the irresponsible brother from Mom’s financial life ([27:26]).

Notable Quotes

• “I'll be willing to have a conversation with younger brother and grab him by the nap of the neck…” – Ken Coleman ([27:00])
• “All the siblings should unite on an intervention.” – Ken Coleman ([27:13])
• “If it’s possible… get him off of it so at least you’re separating that relational tie.” – Jade Warshaw ([27:38])

IV. Boundaries With Parental Influence & Financial Independence ([33:36] – [38:37])

Question of the Day: Nicholas in Illinois
Nicholas’s mom insists he get a credit card for an Italy trip, despite him having accomplished significant debt payoff and saved cash.

Key Insights

• Jade: You don’t owe parents an explanation for not following their bad financial advice (especially as an adult).
• Ken expands: Young adults must learn to kindly but firmly draw boundaries, honor their parents, but not obey when it conflicts with their values.
• Oversharing: Both hosts recommend less financial transparency with family as you age to reduce pressure, critique, and manipulation ([37:13]).

Notable Quotes

• “You don’t have to explain anything to your mom, nor listen to her advice. Politely say thank you and move on.” – Jade Warshaw ([34:39])
• “At some point you’ve got to create your own financial independence by not sharing all that.” – Ken Coleman ([38:06])

V. Family Pressure to Pay Debts—and How to Say "No" ([76:47] – [82:14])

Caller: Tony, Houston, TX—Fresh Grad, High Earner Tony’s family comes asking for debt repayment (“three cars, sister’s college”) immediately after he lands a $285k job.

Key Insights

• Ken and Jade urge: Move out and do not pay a nickel; boundaries are healthy, and guilt is not a good reason for bad money decisions.
• Jade identifies the cultural angle: “Is there a tradition or cultural expectation?”—Tony says no.
• Emotional struggle: Tony feels pressured, but the hosts assert that healthy boundaries (and even a “burned bridge” if it happens) are on family, not him.

Notable Quotes

• “Move out and not pay them a nickel.” – Jade Warshaw ([79:58])
• “If it burns the bridge, that’s on them.” – Ken Coleman ([81:26])
• “There is nothing stopping sister from doing the same, and Mom and Dad – it’s never been my responsibility to pay off your mortgage.” – Jade Warshaw ([81:10])

VI. Other Memorable Moments

Rapid-Fire Financial Advice

• Home buying vs. renting (Atlanta, [38:43]): Hosts push for selling/renting out prior property and avoiding dual mortgages; “you can’t afford to wait for a unicorn outcome with a rental.”
• Separate vs. joint finances in marriage: Multiple callers (e.g., Riley at [95:26]) raise issues. The show’s stance: fully joint finances drive transparency and unity.
• Debt free scream ([105:34]): Alvaro, 30, paid off $90k student loans in 20 months, living at home and side hustling. “Discipline begets discipline” ([109:07]). Jade calls him “one of the goats” of debt-free screams—an inspiring highlight.
• Emotional eating tangent ([82:14]): Ken and Jade humorously debate “emotional sandwiches” (e.g., Vietnamese banh mi, BLT) in response to hard calls, adding levity and camaraderie.
• Real estate investment strategies (San Francisco, [71:41]): Don’t buy rentals out of state while renting locally; prioritize a paid-off home over complicated investment schemes.

VII. Actionable Takeaways

• Couples must unite on money—joint accounts, joint vision, joint boundaries.
• Lending or gifting to extended family spells disaster if not thought through and mutually agreed in the marriage.
• Therapy is essential for couples out of sync on money, as are consistent boundaries maintained with family of origin.
• Rapid response to debt/financial stress: Sell depreciating assets (like cars), side hustle if needed, and seek budgeting tools (like EveryDollar).
• Do not divulge income or account balances to friends/family unless necessary; oversharing can breed expectation and drama.

VIII. NOTABLE QUOTES (with timestamps)

• “You gotta go with the wife every time.” – Jade Warshaw ([03:32])
• “The bigger problem is, we actually need to have full transparency on our money. We need to be fully combined on our money.” – Jade Warshaw ([06:53])
• “You will resent your family… if you capitulate to their manipulation. Don’t do it.” – Ken Coleman ([80:27])
• “The only way out of this stress is a lot of hustle.” – Ken Coleman ([51:46])
• “Discipline begets discipline.” – Jade Warshaw ([109:46])
• “…being independent in a culture that teaches you to be dependent.” – Jade Warshaw ([111:19])

IX. TIMESTAMPS FOR MAIN SEGMENTS

• In-laws/Spousal Boundaries: [00:32]–[08:42]
• Car Debt & Lifestyle Reset: [10:52]–[20:42]
• Family Enabling Dynamics: [22:34]–[29:29]
• Parental Influence & Oversharing: [33:36]–[38:37]
• High Earner Family Pressure: [76:47]–[82:14]
• Debt-Free Scream (Alvaro): [105:34]–[114:19]

The Ramsey Show offers empowering, actionable, and often tough-love money advice for real-life, emotionally complicated scenarios—always centering around personal responsibility, clear boundaries, and the non-negotiable importance of marital unity in financial decisions.

Transcript

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today.

[Ken Coleman]

Normal is broken. Common sense is weird. So we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network and the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio, this is the Ramsey show, alongside the fabulous, incomparable Jade Warshaw. I'm just Ken.

[Jade Warshaw]

That's a lyric, you know, I'm sorry,

[Ken Coleman]

from the Barbie movie. That's all. I'm just trying to do a little shout out, see if the audience is awake and paying attention. Fabulous studio audience today. Handsome looking group of people that we'll meet here in a little bit out there watching in the lobby. So let's get right to it. Triple 882-55225. That's the number to jump in today. Sarah joins us in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Sarah, how can we help?

[Caller]

Hey, guys. So my husband and I keep on loaning his mom money. She always pays it fair. But then she asks again, and I'm starting to really resent it. And we disagree on whether to keep helping. And I just don't know how to go forward with my husband.

[Ken Coleman]

Boy, obviously you don't want to. He feels he has to. Is that a fair classification? Okay, and tell me about the last conversation that you guys had about this. How did it go?

[Caller]

Well, it started because she asked for 7,000.

[Jade Warshaw]

Whoa.

[Ken Coleman]

I thought this was in the $70 range, to be completely honest.

[Jade Warshaw]

No, no, no, this is not chump change.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Wow.

[Caller]

No, it's. It's always thousands of dollars. And I. I basically told him, like, listen, we're her piggy bank, and I'm tired of being her piggy bank. And she.

[Ken Coleman]

What did he say?

[Jade Warshaw]

Go ahead.

[Caller]

Well, he says that she never asks for frivolous things. It's always, quote, unquote, an emergency or important.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, tell me what the $7,000 ask was for.

[Caller]

Just, I think it was the transmission on her car.

[Jade Warshaw]

And how often does this occur? Is this once a year? Is it every couple months? And is it always, like, to the tune of, like, thousands of dollars? Or is it sometimes just like, spot me a two, a couple of hundies?

[Caller]

No, it's. It's always. It's always thousands of dollars. It's at least once a year, and it's sometimes twice a year.

[Jade Warshaw]

And she always pays it back.

[Caller]

She does, yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

And I will give her that.

[Caller]

I don't know, because this is all just my husband's word, but I think six months.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. This is tough. The reason I asked, because I really wanted Jade to lean in on this one. Because you are the wife, and this is tough for me. I don't have any clear response because the reason I asked about the relationship conversation was what had happened the last time we talked about it. And it. And you didn't give me a lot of detail. But from what I inferring, he basically was like, well, it's not frivolous. She needed a new transmission. And so in his mind, he's justifying Mom's crazy, he's on mama's side, and that's the problem. And so she's. So I'm going to actually defer to you here because this. Not to say that a man can't inform this question, but I do think it's unique. I want you to lead off here. To be honest with you, I'm not sure what she does here.

[Jade Warshaw]

I think that this is a classic. This is kind of a classic leave and cleave type deal where the son has to go. I love my mom. My mom made me, she raised me. I have nothing but love for her. But if I'm forced to choose, and my wife is not wrong, it's just a. Well, I think the husband's wrong. But I'm just saying, in his mind, I do, too. In his mind, if he's seeing it as a question of preference, my mom prefers this. My wife prefers this. You got to go with the wife every time.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. And that's the question I have. Quick. I don't want to totally interrupt your momentum, but I do want to, Sarah. I mean, is he completely clear? If he were sitting right here with Jade and I, would he be completely clear that you've had it with this? Or. Or does he think you're just mildly frustrated? What does he think?

[Caller]

I think I. He's. He knows that I've kind of had it with this. Okay, Now, I've been pretty blunt with him.

[Jade Warshaw]

You said something earlier that begs a couple of questions from me. When I asked, does she pay the money back, by the way, that's neither here nor there to the. Of whether you should lend it. I was trying to understand his point of view a little bit more. So I can argue it. But what you responded was, was interesting. You said that basically, as far as, you know, based on your husband's word, which made me think, like, do you not have access into seeing each other's finances? Are you sharing finances, basically?

[Caller]

I mean, technically we do, but we do not have a joint bank account.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, so that, that right there. And I'm going to tell you right now, Sarah, I Think we've been getting more and more of these calls where what happens is you guys have not fully aligned on finances, the philosophy of it, nor how we share our money. Right. There's still this kind of side business going on where we have, we have one account that we put checks in, but we also have our side accounts. What happens when you set up life like that is you, you, you actively pull yourself out of being the decision make spouse on every major financial issue because you've already said, we're not fully together. And so that, I think, is why your husband is operating over here, saying, ah, it's not that big of a deal. She always pays me back. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just understanding it.

[Ken Coleman]

It's actually great insight there. It's a really good point. Sarah. I hope you're hearing what she's saying because here, here's where this goes. You guys are going to have to have a mediator. And I think it's a marriage therapist because to Jay's point, things have been so separate.

[Jade Warshaw]

It's a total restart.

[Ken Coleman]

And again, he just, he needs a completely new perspective. And you don't want to put yourself in a place where you're threatening him. Right. And then making him make a false choice. Now, if he was sitting here with me, I'd look at him straight in the eye and go, hey, bro, listen to me, you got to twist it like, you got to choose your wife here. You got to grow up, take the diaper off, the emotional diaper. This is embarrassing. I mean, I would just go straight at it. He's not here today, so we want to equip you. But I think Jade's insight is absolutely phenomenally on target. So because of that, I think you're going to have to have a marriage therapist to bring you together. Hopefully a skilled one who is the middle ground and can go. We do have to reset because I think he's operating like, what's the big deal?

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah. Because you're the one who, and I'm not saying this in a wrong way, I think you're absolutely right, Sarah. But if you look at what the agreement was, right. If you and I say, here's the stakes, we'll do this together and then you're the one who changes. He has the right to be confused or wonder, well, what's the big deal? And again, I can't stress this enough, I believe you're right in wanting to not continue to lend her money. But in that, that's not the Bigger problem. The bigger problem is we actually need to have full transparency on our money. We need to be fully combined on our money. And I agree with Ken. Counseling is the way to start that new process.

[Ken Coleman]

And here's the ask, here's what you got to tell him. You have to say, we have to do this. We have to go to counseling. It's not a threat. We have to go. This is causing me to resent you and your mom. I don't like it and I don't have the tools to convince you. So will you please do this for me? I think that's your posture. And you know, the context has to be reset because you guys are not on the same page. Therefore, he's like, what's the issue? So gonna be tough. There's not going to be easy.

[Jade Warshaw]

Right, right, right, right.

[Ken Coleman]

But Jade, in this situation, there is no easy. This has to be confrontation. And to your point, a full blown operational reset. Got to reboot.

[Jade Warshaw]

And then on the money front, what I see, honestly, just on the money front, it's only a matter of time because she's not been a good. The mother in law has not been a good manager of finances. It's only a matter of time before she stops paying you guys back is what I see. Because she's just not a responsible person with her money.

[Ken Coleman]

Oh, and be prepared. And I don't want to judge her, but be prepared for a pretty nice blowback from mom because I believe she's either knowingly or unknowingly manipulating your husband, her son.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

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[Ken Coleman]

And that's gonna be sticky and stinky.

[Jade Warshaw]

The words of scar be prepar.

[George Kamel]

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[Sponsor/Announcer]

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[Ken Coleman]

We're going to go to Reagan next in Houston, Texas. Reagan, how can we help?

[Caller]

Hi. So my husband and I, we're both 25, we have two kids, and we are kind of living paycheck to paycheck when I feel like we shouldn't be. We're trying to figure out what's the best way to kind of pay down our debt as well as still put money into the savings account to help, you know, have an extra layer of cushion.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. Okay, tell me a little bit more about how much debt you have and what type of debt it is.

[Caller]

So without our mortgage payment, it's about $60,000, mainly credit cards, vehicle loans, and some medical bills.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. How much of it is the car?

[Caller]

Our vehicle. So our. His truck payment is about 40,000, and mine's about 4, 600.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, so 40,000 is the total amount that you owe on his car. What's the total amount that you owe on your car?

[Caller]

About 4,600.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, 4,600 total. Okay, I hear you. All right. I. When I look at this and you tell me, hey, we're living paycheck to paycheck, the number one glaring obvious reason I see are, are the cars. What's his monthly payment, and what's your monthly payment?

[Caller]

So the car payment is 378amonth, and the truck payment is about 600amonth.

[Jade Warshaw]

There you go. Yeah. What difference would it make if you cleared that out and had an extra almost thousand bucks a month in your life?

[Caller]

Yes, a lot. And it's also. I think it's also daycare because we spend a little over a thousand a month on daycare.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah, daycare will get You. But that's not something that we can really change right now. The thing that we can really change and affect is this car payment. Tell me about you guys income. What do you bring in every month? And what does he bring in?

[Caller]

So together roughly 7,600. I just got a promotion a couple months ago, so our income went up and we had, we had to buy a vehicle. It didn't necessarily have to be the truck, but you know, right now we're trying to figure out what's the best way to pay this down because I will probably need a car here in a couple years, maybe a year or two because my car keeps breaking down.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah. So let's solve for that then. I mean, what I would do, I mean, yes, you're right. You have to have vehicles to, to, to operate life. So I agree with that. However, when you're, you know, $60,000 in debt, clearing out 40,000 of it, which is a vehicle, makes a humongous difference. So if he sold that vehicle today, what could he get for it?

[Caller]

Possibly 35, 40.

[Jade Warshaw]

So is that.

[Caller]

We just, we just bought it in October. Even.

[Jade Warshaw]

Even better. Even better. You won't be as far upside down on it.

[Ken Coleman]

Do you have any money saved?

[Caller]

We have about 6,000 in our savings and about $4,300 coming within the next month or so from our, our college scholarships we get.

[Ken Coleman]

So we're going to have access to $10,300 that is above and beyond your income, and that's coming quickly. We already got six. Well, are you familiar with our baby steps and how they work?

[Caller]

Yes, I purchased the book last year. So we saved up the money and we've been trying to pay down the lowest amount of debt we've had or whichever.

[Ken Coleman]

But if you're familiar with the baby steps. Baby step one is how much in the bank?

[Caller]

1,000.

[Ken Coleman]

All right, you got 6,000.

[Caller]

Is it six? Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

So Jade, what does she do with the five? We got good news for you on this truck.

[Jade Warshaw]

Let's roll through this. Yeah. Let's pretend. Yeah. That you only get 35 for it. Okay. You've got the five to put with it. So that, that's a clean break right there. And then to your point, if you've saved up 600, you know, if you've cleared 600 extra dollars a month, theoretically, how quickly could you save for a cash car? Right. If you said for, for a split second, I'm going to pause the debt snowball and I'm going to stack up some money as quickly as possible. How quickly could you stack up five or six thousand dollars? I think making 7,600amonth, I. It pretty quickly. So that's really the play here. Anytime you have debt, I'm going to find out ways to clear it very, very quickly. Because the faster we do this, the more motivated you're going to be to continue. So in a world where you sell that car now, Suddenly instead of 40,000, instead of 60,000 of that, we've got 20,000 and you've got more money per month to knock that out. I think this is kind of like a win win. And then you have this $4,300 coming that goes towards your car fund. Does that make sense?

[Caller]

Okay, how.

[Jade Warshaw]

On a scale of 1 to 10, be honest with me. How excited are you about that solution?

[Caller]

I'm kind of in the middle. I'm a little nervous because right now my biggest. Well, not the biggest concern, obviously, but my car is one, because I don't want to have to buy two new vehicles and go into two car payments again.

[Jade Warshaw]

That's. Well, that's what I'm solving for. So let me.

[Alvaro]

Let's.

[Ken Coleman]

Let's roll through that. Hold on a second.

[Alvaro]

Where.

[Ken Coleman]

Before you roll through this, where did you hear that we want have two car payments when Jay just spent a couple minutes telling you how to get rid of the only one you have?

[Caller]

No, I heard that. I was just. It goes through my mind because we have really bad luck with vehicles. And so, you know.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, I'm glad you're saying this. Here's what I want to talk about. So we gave you the advice. It's normal to very quickly get very emotional about it. Right? Because we've had bad luck with advice or. I'm sorry, we've had bad luck with cars. Oh, you know, I have to think about how to tell my husband this. Oh, my gosh. You know, what about security? Right? Your brain starts going through all those emotional plays. So I want you right now to tell me the top three things that Ken and I are going to dismantle that in a completely logical, unemotional way. How about that?

[Caller]

Okay.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. So first thing you said is, we've had bad luck with cars in the past, Ken. What you got?

[Ken Coleman]

So have I. That's just life, right? So this idea that you're stuck in this bad luck thing. No, you're not. You're just a part of the human race. It's a little bit of the human lottery, right? I mean, you know, you go look at a mechanic, any mechanic, place in Your local area and you're going to see a steady stream of cars. Probably not a bad idea to go, oh, I don't have bad luck. I'm driving an imperfect machine and there's thousands of other people in my zip code. So I think it's mindset is how I would dismantle that and go, all right, now how do I prepare for

[Jade Warshaw]

or have better luck? Have better odds?

[Ken Coleman]

How do I make the odds better? Well, I'm going to put enough money away that I can take care of a basic mechanical issue and keep moving forward. Is it a little bit of a step back every time? Absolutely.

[Jade Warshaw]

Or you can do a lot of great research on the front end to make sure you're making better choices than you've made in the past.

[Ken Coleman]

That's right. Take longer to buy the next car, Right. Get it checked out by a mechanic. Buy a car that has better odds, Right? Absolutely. We can name the brands and you can look them up. That can do much better. I mean, I'm a guy right now that's got three teens, Okay. I got more cars than I had ever thought that I would have owned.

[Jade Warshaw]

All of them used, very used.

[Ken Coleman]

And I'm driving a used car and I do the research and I get these things checked out by a mechanic that I trust because I got two teens right now driving every day.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah. And I'll tell you what I do. I have a Christian brothers in my neighborhood. It's a local mechanic I'll bring. When we're looking at used vehicles, you can bring them over there and they'll give it a once over for you and check it out so you can feel good about the purchase. So, okay. That was the first. First thing. Next idea that could be a potential issue. Could be what? Just the idea of downgrading vehicle because other people see it.

[Ken Coleman]

So you're driving a car that stinks.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah. Everybody saw you get a new vehicle and now suddenly.

[Ken Coleman]

So I got the story for that. You know, drive around the corner if you're ashamed of the car. And I've been there, okay. When I first got married, I had a Ford Taurus, okay. And it had no ac. And one day on the way to work, the felt on the top of the ceiling of the car just fell down on top of my head at a stoplight. I was very embarrassed.

[Jade Warshaw]

The dignity, loss of dignity.

[Ken Coleman]

It was very embarrassing. I got home that night and I couldn't afford to fix it. So you know what I did? I got a staple gun out.

[Jade Warshaw]

Come on, Ken.

[Ken Coleman]

Three shots took care of that business. And then. But I was embarrassed. So guess what? I always had a good excuse or a creative way of getting out of driving anybody to lunch. That was pretty creative. Number two, if I had to go to a meeting, I pulled around the corner and walked and just acted like there was no place to park.

[Jade Warshaw]

Perfect.

[Ken Coleman]

There are some creative psychological things you can do to not be ashamed of the hooptie.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes.

[Ken Coleman]

For a season. So I think that's kind of. I'm addressing that because I think that's part of it, is our pride.

[Jade Warshaw]

The point is what we're suggesting. You are going to feel an emotional backlash immediately. But I want to challenge you to work yourself through it because chances are it's just that first feeling of. Because you don't know what. It's fear. It's. Fear is what it is. You've never done something like this before. You've never done something this drastic. You don't know how it's going to play out. But we do. We've been teaching this for a very long time.

[George Kamel]

Hey, guys, George here. Listen, 99 times out of 100, when people say, I don't know where my money goes, it's not a math problem, it's a behavior problem. They're not budgeting. Then they're shocked when their bank account hits triple zeros. Well, here's the deal. Winning with money is about doing the boring stuff consistently. And that includes banking someplace that helps you stop guessing with your money, like Fairwinds Credit Union. They're not gonna fix your habits. That part's on you. But they do support people who are ready to take control of their money. At Fairwinds, you get a high yield savings savings account with a great rate to help grow your emergency fund, a checking account that won't nickel and dime you, and up to 10 free savings accounts. So you can organize your money on purpose. Because when you stay disciplined, your money gets predictable, manageable, and boring in the best way. So if you're ready for a bank that helps you be intentional, open your smart Bundle [e-mail] Ramsey and get the Ramsey Beweir debit card to go along with it. That's Fairwinds.org Ramsey insured by the NCUA.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, folks, one of the best things to do for your finances is to have a really, really good tax pro in your corner. They'll help advise you on the best moves to make for your situation, maybe your small business. And if you've had some big life changes in the last year. So go to ramseysolutions.com taxpro ramseysolutions.com taxpro and these agents that you will see there have been vetted by our team. They're going to teach you the way that we would teach you. And this is a good move if you've never done this before. So do that and you'll be better for it. Eric is up next in Phoenix, Arizona. Eric, how can we help you?

[Caller]

Hey, how's it going?

[Ken Coleman]

Good. Yeah, you bet.

[Caller]

Pretty good. So I'm in a bit of a pickle. My mom co signed a lease with my brother about four years ago and he's in and out of jobs. He doesn't really like working in corporate even though he had the opportunity to do so. And now he can't afford it and he wanted to get it repoed, which he said no. So we. She's been asking for help to pay bills. And so now the car is just kind of sitting. It's being used. But we had asked her to sell it. By we, I mean my other siblings and I. But she doesn't want to sell it.

[Ken Coleman]

Why?

[Caller]

She's kind of underwater. So even if she does sell it, she won't get much for it.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. How much do you guys. Well, let me say. How much does the mom and the brother owe on it?

[Caller]

About 20 grand left on it.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. What's it worth if they sell it?

[Caller]

Shape. You kind of ruined it.

[Jade Warshaw]

It. Sorry, you said somebody ruined it. She ruined it or he ruined it.

[Caller]

He ruined it when he was using it.

[Jade Warshaw]

Just wrecking it.

[Caller]

He just didn't take care of it. Maintenance. Yeah, it's. It's been wrecked a couple times as well.

[Jade Warshaw]

Why are you calling?

[Caller]

Area is terrible.

[Ken Coleman]

Because mom has asked him to help out and brother. Because brother.

[Caller]

She was in an accident last year as well. She was taken care of for while she been going through rehab and physio and stuff like that.

[Jade Warshaw]

Understood.

[Ken Coleman]

What could she sell the car for today?

[Caller]

Maybe five grand. Honestly?

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, gosh.

[Caller]

If she's lucky.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay,

[Ken Coleman]

well, this is. First of all, this. Your brother is in a season of life where he is impersonating a deadbeat. And so dead beats only wake up when they're forced to wake up. But the problem is mom's name is on this and she refuses to help herself. Correct.

[Caller]

Kind of. What would reason. She doesn't want to necessarily take it back to the bank or maybe just get it repoed, which

[Jade Warshaw]

repo's not an option. And we can talk to you about that, why that is. But continue, continue on yeah.

[Caller]

So eventually she says she wants to get a house soon enough, which I personally think she can't afford. So the biggest thing for me really is just continuing to help. Feels like enabling.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Caller]

I don't know how to approach her in a sense, like, okay, in as much as we've been helping this entire time, there's a couple things she could do.

[Jade Warshaw]

What else?

[Ken Coleman]

What else have you been doing?

[Jade Warshaw]

What else have you been doing to help? Because it sounds like you've already been down that road.

[Caller]

It's mostly just bills and, you know, rent and stuff like that. I still live at home, but I just got married, so I'm moving out.

[Jade Warshaw]

Is that because of the accident or that's just always been ongoing?

[Caller]

It's been ongoing, but more so after the accident.

[Ken Coleman]

And who's we? I thought I heard you say we've

[Caller]

been helping my siblings. And I have a younger brother. And then older siblings are your siblings

[Ken Coleman]

that have been helping with the bills. Are they all in the same opinion of you that you just said, which is, I feel like I'm helping and it's enabling. Do they have the same feeling?

[Caller]

Somewhat. My older sister, yes. My younger brother, not too sure.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay.

[Caller]

She doesn't say much.

[Ken Coleman]

Listen, you asked a question, and I'm going to answer the question that I heard, and that is, how do I approach her on this? How do I handle this? And this is you going, mom, I can't do this anymore. Here's what you should do. If I were you, this is what I would do. And you lay it out and say, I'd sell the car. Because every day that she doesn't sell the car, there's like another calamity that's probably going to happen to this. And I feel like this entire car represents a lot of the calamity that your brother creates, and no one is willing to do anything about it. And so I. If I'm you, I go to mom, and I go, mom, sell the car today. Because we got to at least get five grand for it, and that at least lessens the debt by 5,000. And then we have a $15,000 problem. You got all these other financial problems that are more important than this stupid car. So, mom, here's how I'm going to help going forward. I can't help you financially anymore. I've got to move on. I suspect that you don't have the finances and the margin to be able to keep helping her anyway without hurting you. True or false?

[Caller]

True.

[Ken Coleman]

True. So that's the conversation, Mom, I can't

[Jade Warshaw]

even if I wanted to, I can't.

[Ken Coleman]

So here's how I can help. I'll be willing to list the car. Sell the car. I'll be willing to have a conversation with younger brother and grab him by the nap of the neck and just. Absolutely. As only a brother can lay into his butt.

[Jade Warshaw]

With both hands. With both hands. Ambidextrous.

[Ken Coleman]

Very well done, Jade. And like, use both hands, clap him on both ears. Okay, now here's the deal. And that's a. Lay it out and move on and say, you gotta help mom.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

And I think all the siblings should unite on an intervention. Outside of that, Jade, that's what I'm thinking of. What else did I leave off the table? What would you do here?

[Jade Warshaw]

There's a part that can help relationally, I think, early on, if it's possible. You said mom co signed for brother, which makes me think mom has better credit. I wonder if she can refinance this and get him off of it so that at least you're separating that relational tie. And then from there on, she can make whatever choices she's going to make with the car separate from the brother. That might unmuddy the waters just a hair as she decides what she's gonna do next. But other than that, Ken. I think Ken is exactly spot on. I. I have nothing to add.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, this is tough.

[Caller]

Selling the car would be. Private sale is.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

You're gonna get the most money.

[George Kamel]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Jade Warshaw]

And what she can do, and you can advise her of this, if her credit's all right, in the process of getting him off the loan, when you're in there, you can say, here's what we want to do. We need a loan for the difference because ultimately we're going to sell this thing. So we need to get him off of the loan in the process, and then we're transferring it to a personal loan. And when she does that, if she wants to add a little something to it to get something in cash, that's fine. But I think because of the nature of how much she owes on it, she's probably, you know, she would end up basically back in $20,000 of debt. So I think the bigger part here is to get the brother off of it. And then maybe, maybe. And I don't know what your lifestyle is, but maybe that's a way you could help her out, which is, hey, while you're saving up for your next vehicle, I can help if you need a ride, you know, in between the Ubers that. In the bus Rides that you'll be taking. I can help with that. Maybe that's something you can offer.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. And then we need to caution mom. You're nowhere near buying a house. Not even close. Are you renting? Is she renting now where you've been living with her?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. No, she is not thinking about buying anything. We got to get her healthy. Do you feel like her long term physical prognosis is good, where she can get back to work?

[Caller]

It's been better. She's going to extend a little bit because she's still in some pain. So maybe by July, maybe she'll be.

[Ken Coleman]

What is she living off of? Is there some type of a disability or insurance that she's getting? What's. What's going on there?

[Caller]

Yes, she had gotten disability for a little bit and then she was pulling it, pulling some out of her insurance, I think life insurance from.

[Ken Coleman]

Oh, my gosh, Mom.

[Jade Warshaw]

Wow. Okay, yeah, this is tough. Tell me, and you can be vague, but the nature of her injuries, how serious is this and how old is she? Because I want to know really honestly what she's going to be able to get back to doing.

[Caller]

Work wise, it was pretty bad. She got rear ended while she was stopped at a light and then she's around mid-50s, so it's pretty slow progress for recovery.

[Jade Warshaw]

What was she doing beforehand, what was, what was her job and what was she earning?

[Caller]

She was doing a bunch of different things, but she, at that time she was doing Uber as a side gig. And then.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. I think the ways that you can help her are as following, help her get brother off the loan. That's thing one. Thing two is I want you to help her with the career side of things. We're going to give you Ken's find the work you're wired to do assessment. It's a book that'll help you and there's an assessment inside. Help her go through that because it sounds like she needs to create stability in her career or create a career so that she can create stability in her finances going forward. I hope she's well and I hope she recovers very, very quickly.

[Ken Coleman]

And I would just add, you, siblings need to get together and essentially fire this brother.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

From her life for a.

[Jade Warshaw]

Foreign.

[Ken Coleman]

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. I am here on this show because some amazing women in my life, like my mentors, my friends, my wife and my mom, because they invested in me. They're all extraordinary. And one of the common themes I've heard from all of the important women in My life is that between the responsibilities and expectations that the world places on them and the expectations they place on themselves, they are under incredible pressure every day. Women are often encouraged to overlook their own emotional well being, to care for everybody else. Therapy offers a space for women to learn how to navigate those competing expectations, learn how to set healthy boundaries, and learn how to communicate what they want and what they need to do that. I recommend Better Help. Better Help is an online therapy platform that matches you with a licensed therapist based on your goals and preferences. You can message your therapist and schedule sessions right in the platform. And with over 30,000 therapists, they have the right person for you you. And if the first therapist isn't the right fit, you can switch anytime at no additional cost. Your emotional well being matters. Find support and therapy. Visit betterhelp.com Ramsey to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp H E-L-P.com Ramsey. The Ramsey Show Question of the Day is brought to you by why Refi? When your private student loans are in default, your progress stalls out. Why Refi Helps you restart by refinancing defaulted private student loans into a low fixed rate payment that fits your budget so you can stop spinning your wheels. Visit yrefi.com Ramsey that's the letter y r e f y.com Ramsey it may not be available in all states.

[Jade Warshaw]

Alrighty then. Today's question comes from Nicholas in Illinois. He says, I since I discovered your show last year, I've sold my truck and almost all my furniture. I've worked three jobs, escaped $35,000 of debt, and now have 15,000 sitting in the bank. Well done, my man. My mom wants me to open a credit card so I can go to Italy with her to visit my sister without losing any of my recent progress. Wow. I have the money to pay my way, but she's insistent on me getting a credit card. How do I explain to her that although that seems like a smart move, it's really not? Not Nicholas, my guy, you haven't told us how old you are, so I don't know if you're 18. I don't know if you're 35. I don't know how old you are, but the answer remains the same. I don't think you have to explain anything to your mom, nor listen to her advice. I think you can very politely say thank you for your insight and move on.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, this is a very perspicacious young man. I don't know if I said that right. There's A word.

[Jade Warshaw]

What are you trying to say?

[Ken Coleman]

He's very. He's got good insight. He picked up on this, this. This temptation issue.

[Jade Warshaw]

Perspicacious.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. Have you ever heard that before? I like a good word.

[Jade Warshaw]

It's like one with keen insight. Okay?

[Ken Coleman]

It is. So this guy gets it, right? So mom is playing the emotional game, okay? And she's going, okay, I'm so proud of you, son. You did a good job, but I don't want you to have to use any of that cash, so let's just go to Italy. And she thinks he's getting ahead. And she doesn't understand that it's a millstone around his neck. And he gets it. She's projecting her.

[Jade Warshaw]

She's projecting her fears on him.

[Ken Coleman]

Here's what you say, mom, I'm sorry, this is my money, my life. I don't agree with you. Like, I disagree. This is hard for young people, by the way. You know, know, certainly late teens, early 20s. Mom and dad have so much influence. These, by the way, this is a kid who respects his mom.

[Jade Warshaw]

Facts. Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

There's no question about it. And so it's very, very hard where when you. You're beginning to. To strike out on your own. He clearly has, on some level, certainly has with his money. And then a parent comes in and says, do something. And again, whether it's money or something else, and a parent makes a strong suggestion, yes. It's really hard to go against your instinct. Your whole life you've tried to say yes, so you don't get in trouble. And now you're in a place where you go, that doesn't make any sense. And I'm not really going to get in trouble except for if I do what mom says, I'm actually in financial trouble. It's really confusing. And so I'm kind of expanding this to our very large audience on this to say, hey, young people, look, when you finally figure this stuff out and you agree with what we teach, at some point you're going to have to go, thanks. I really appreciate your insight. I disagree. I'm not gonna do it. Here's why.

[Jade Warshaw]

Well, do you even have to?

[Ken Coleman]

And then confidently walk away.

[Jade Warshaw]

But here's that. Here's my argument. Do you even have to explain why? That's my thing. Because my.

[Ken Coleman]

You don't have to.

[Jade Warshaw]

That's a credit.

[Ken Coleman]

Very good point. So my answer to that is he doesn't have to, but I think it's expedient to do so. In other words, you can honor your parents and still Say no.

[Jade Warshaw]

That's right.

[Ken Coleman]

And I think in this case, I'm always going to say honor them once. If they keep coming back, Go. I'm not actually going to have this conversation.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, let me crack the door open on another piece of this puzzle. And you've got two older boys, so I think that you're the. What was the word you use? Perspicacious.

[Ken Coleman]

Yes.

[Jade Warshaw]

Very good. You have a Perspicacious.

[Ken Coleman]

You're really leaning in on my words. You said it. Appreciate it.

[Jade Warshaw]

I'm just trying to reuse it for you. Okay, so you've got two older boys. How much? And. And we don't know how old Nicholas is. How much of this is due to oversharing? Because I know I got to the point pretty early on where for my parents to know how much money I have, that I sold my truck, that I got 15,000 over here, that I don't have credit, like, that's a lot for a parent to know.

[Ken Coleman]

For a grown adult, that's a really good question. I don't know the answer could be. And I think it's a very good point to say, you know, if. Let's say he's in his early 20s. Yeah. He doesn't need to be sharing all that information. If mom says, hey, we want you to go to Italy, he goes, all right, let me. Let me check. Let me see if I can do that. And he says, yes, that's a very good point. In other words, at some point, you've got to create your own financial independence by not sharing all that.

[Jade Warshaw]

It's just your business point.

[Ken Coleman]

You know, it's been a long time, but I don't think. When I went to college and I started working.

[Jade Warshaw]

Did you share that?

[Ken Coleman]

I was sharing with my parents how much I had in the bank account.

[Jade Warshaw]

I. I definitely did not. I might say something like, hey, I'm thinking of getting new. A new car. I have 10,000 to spend. What do you think I should get? Like, I might say something like that.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

But to just. For them to just know all my business out in the streets, like this guy here. Definitely not.

[Ken Coleman]

That's a very good point. Create a boundary there. Let's go to Grace in Atlanta, Georgia. Grace, how can we help?

[Caller]

Hi. I'm 29 years old. My husband is 30. And we've been going back and forth on whether we are ready to buy a house or not. He believes we should save more money before we can put down 20% and have plenty of emergency funds after that. But I think we're ready.

[Ken Coleman]

And what, what is your financial position? If you're ready, what do you have to put down?

[Caller]

I think we have the 20% down. I think his biggest concern is that I bought a during COVID but that house is currently being rented and so the mortgage is being covered plus a little bit more.

[Ken Coleman]

Oh, he's worried about taking on two mortgages.

[Jade Warshaw]

Absolutely.

[Ken Coleman]

And I agree with him.

[Jade Warshaw]

Why wouldn't you, why wouldn't you get rid of your existing mortgage and put that money towards the down payment and security on your family home with him?

[Caller]

Well, because at the moment is being rented and it has been for two or three years.

[Jade Warshaw]

When's the lease up?

[Caller]

I believe at the end of this year.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

That's what I would do. I would move into that house. You've already bought a home and you got renters and you've, you have basically dodged a major bullet thus far. Sounds like, in other words, you're barely making enough to cover the mortgage.

[Caller]

Yes, well, the. Well, yes, I think I make like $300.

[Ken Coleman]

That's a whopping $3,600 a year, Grace. You're getting rich on that one. And that doesn't include your actual expenses on said house.

[Caller]

Correct.

[Ken Coleman]

Which if it hold it long enough, you hold it long enough, you will end up going in the negative in one year, maybe two consecutive years in a row. I am not negative. I am positive that will happen. And so if it's me, I'm. I'm gonna move into this house at the end of the year. And now we're building equity. You're already building equity, which is great, but now you live in it. I would not buy another house.

[Jade Warshaw]

Well, I want to know, I want to know about that current house. What is the mortgage on it? What do you owe every month on it? You were the renter.

[Caller]

We haven't. So the we currently we did not buy a second home. We are wanting to buy a second home.

[Ken Coleman]

We know.

[Jade Warshaw]

I'm talking about the current rental. What's the mortgage on it?

[Caller]

Oh, I have 200,000 left.

[Ken Coleman]

Great.

[Jade Warshaw]

What do you pay every month?

[Caller]

Every month? 1200.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. And what's you guys income, you and your, your husband?

[Caller]

I get a hundred. A hundred thousand every year before taxes. And my husband makes 130 before.

[Jade Warshaw]

Excellent. Okay, so even if you, to Ken's point, if you, you know, after the lease is up, renters are out, you guys moved in, or, or if you wanted to sell it and get something that suits you guys needs, I would 100% do that deal in two seconds.

[Ken Coleman]

How much is that house worth?

[Caller]

About 300, maybe 310.

[Ken Coleman]

So you walk away with 110. How much do you guys have saved right now for a down payment?

[Caller]

I have 147,000, but that includes.

[Ken Coleman]

No, no, no, don't give me that. How much do you have that's set aside just for a down payment?

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Payment.

[Caller]

Just for down payment, I would say 47,000. And my husband about 15,000.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, so we're separate finances. We don't have time to cover that one.

[Jade Warshaw]

We'll talk about that later.

[Ken Coleman]

I think you guys either move into that house or you sell it. And now you guys have about 200 grand, if I'm doing quick math, or just under 200 grand to put towards another home. That's the play. Not keep both houses, not create another mortgage, and then, you know, play this roulette game of landlording.

[Jade Warshaw]

And just to set the record straight, the what you're aiming for more so than the 20% down, what you're looking for is for that payment to be no more than 25% of your take home fee, all included.

[George Kamel]

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[Ken Coleman]

Welcome back to the Ramsey show and the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio. I'm Ken Coleman. Jade Warshaw is alongside and Peter is on the line in auto Ottawa. Peter, how can we help today?

[Caller]

Hi, how are you?

[Ken Coleman]

Good, how are you?

[Caller]

I'm fine. I'm doing fine. I'm 23 years old and I'm trying my best to manage a business and I'm serving, you know, trouble with it. Well, actually, I'm having trouble with the decision that I want to keep doing this.

[Ken Coleman]

Is it your business or are you managing it for someone else?

[Caller]

It.

It's my dad's business, but I've been managing him for. For like two years now because he's not. He's not well.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay. And so what is your dilemma?

[Caller]

I'm just stuck in a lot of debt that I don't know how to get out of and I don't know if I want to keep doing this. The job on the other hand, I don't know. I don't know what else I would do. You know? You know?

[Ken Coleman]

Okay.

[Caller]

With myself.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay. So I'm glad you share it that way. So I'm gonna do a quick analysis. Tell me if I'm right. Feels like our biggest problem is the 200,000 in debt. The secondary problem is I don't want to run my dad's company the rest of my life. That's the secondary problem. Is that a good way of laying it out?

[Caller]

I do want to run it. It's not that I don't want to run it. I don't know how to.

[Ken Coleman]

You don't know how to run it?

[Caller]

You know? Yeah. Because clearly I'm not doing. Doing that good of a job because the self awareness.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay. And the company's not doing well.

[Caller]

It was up until my dad got really sick. Like really, really sick. Okay. And I had to take care of him for about two, three months. And the company didn't run without me.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay. And now where are we at?

[Caller]

We're at. I just had my warehouse closed out for three months for non payment of the rent. And I just got it open with some negotiation.

[Ken Coleman]

And how's your dad?

[Caller]

He's better. That's why I got back to it.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay.

[Caller]

I mean, he's so sick. That's. That's part of my. You know.

[Ken Coleman]

I understand. But I'm leaning in here to say it sounds like you were doing okay running it until you were the only caretaker or felt you were the only caretaker for your dad. And at which point you weren't doing hardly anything at all. It doesn't sound like you were clueless. Is that you were not present. Is that true?

[Caller]

That is.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, so let me ask another question. If you're back involved and dad is not as sick and he might be well enough to guide you, do you feel confident you can get this thing back on the tracks?

[Caller]

I. I am confident. It's just. It just. I don't know how to put it on paper. I don't know how to plan this.

[Ken Coleman]

You don't know how to plan. And the reason I'm leaning into this is because this is your sole source of income right now and you have a lot of debt. So we got to figure out where you need to be spending your time so you can make money. Because it's money and cutting. And Jay's going to come in and walk you through where you're cutting. But I'm trying to get an idea of what is before you to where you can make money. So one more follow up. When you say you don't know how to put it on paper, can you be specific? What do you mean? Mean?

[Caller]

It's just how to manage the debt that I'm in. So. So I'm 200,000 total in debt. But 100,000 of it is. Is like a vendor debt, which I'm not worried about orders. I cut it.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, is the, is any of this personal debt?

[Caller]

The other hundred thousand is. It's not personal, but it's like taken from family and friends.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

It's your debt, though. It's not the company's debt.

[Caller]

It's. It's not the company's debt. It's my debt.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay. And the, and then the other hundred thousand is the company debt.

[Caller]

It is done. The company say.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, okay, well, okay, these are two different situations, so that's good for us to know. What are you paying yourself or what are you getting paid?

[Caller]

Up until three months ago, I was. I was paying myself enough to, you know, around 4,000amonth. Month enough for my rent and expenses.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay.

[Jade Warshaw]

All right.

[Ken Coleman]

I want to bring Jade in here because we got two lines of debt here. One is the company's debt and one is your personal debt. And that's where.

[Caller]

I don't know if it's. I'm sorry, but I don't know if it's going to be different. But the 100,000, that's personal. I took it to help the company. I don't know if it's any different.

[Jade Warshaw]

So you borrowed money from family, you personally borrowed the money from families and friends to use that money for the business?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, so then it's all business debt.

[Ken Coleman]

I mean, okay, now we got that.

[Jade Warshaw]

We get it. It was all for the business. Let me put it like that. Okay, so the only way to clear this is to bring in more revenue that can be converted to using to pay off the debt, Correct?

[Caller]

Correct.

[Jade Warshaw]

So what do you see? Do you see possibilities to do that? Are you. I don't know what the nature of the business is. What do you guys do?

[Caller]

It's. It's a used clothing business. I sort them into categories and ship them out. Ship them out to Africa.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, my gosh. Okay, very interesting. I know nothing about that world. I'm gonna tell you that straight up. But I can tell you right here what I'm. The way to pay off debt, right, is you have to have more money coming in that can be used for that purpose. So it goes back to Ken's question, which is how suited do you feel to do that and more? The bigger question is, you're 23. Is this what you want to be doing with your life? If not, we need to talk about that and how to offload this to the right person.

[Caller]

The dilemma I'm in is I like the work. I just don't like the stress.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, what's causing you the stress? The debt or the work?

[Caller]

The debt. The work. I'm good at the work. I was working with my dad in high school, so I'm fine with the work. I'm involved. I was involved with it. I know inside and out.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, but let's go back a step. I appreciate that, but let's go back a step. You at some point needed to borrow, or you thought you did, rather let me stipulate you thought you needed to borrow $100,000 from family just to keep this thing afloat. We're not even talking about the initial 100,000. This company is not healthy. True or false? Regardless of you being there and dad being there, somewhere along the line, this company started taking on water in the form of debt because you didn't have enough revenue. Am I right?

[Caller]

Yes, you are. That was partly due to my bad decisions, but it is true.

[Jade Warshaw]

Well, there's part of this. I have a. Just a technical question, really. If you exit this business, if you say, you know what, I'm not suited for this, I'm going on. Will the. Will. Will your dad and family view the $200,000 as money you personally need to pay back, or will they view it as. That lives in the business and it's up to whoever or whatever goes on with the business to cover that. How will they view it and how do you view it?

[Caller]

That.

That's.

That's what I was thinking. Is the 100,000. That's personal. That's going to stay with me regardless.

[Jade Warshaw]

Even though it went to the business just because you raised it?

[Caller]

Yeah, yeah. The other hundred thousand. If I were to, you know, sell the business or the other options, that hundred thousand, the. The vendor debt is going to stay with the company.

[Jade Warshaw]

See, I disagree with that. If you show the receipt, if you are able to show the receipts, literally, of how that money was raised for the business, I don't think that that's the case. I don't think that that debt does follow you. You're running this business, and that's how you raise money right away.

[Ken Coleman]

Either way, my friend, the only way out of this stress is a lot of hustle.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

And I.

[Ken Coleman]

You're gonna have to get somebody else that helps. Dad, you have got to take this company on your back, learn from your mistakes, go get some advice from people in your world and you're going to have to take a risk real shot at this to get this better. But if in about three to six months something doesn't turn around with your overactivity, then we're going to have to shut it down. You got to know when to hold them and know when to fold them. Great song. You should check it out. I think it's a great lyric cuz I think this is your situation. You got to make the decision sooner. You're going to keep digging deeper.

[Caller]

If you're looking for a more budget

[Jade Warshaw]

friendly way to save on medical costs and stay true to your values, Christian Healthcare Ministries is a great option to think about. CHM is not health insurance. It's a health cost sharing ministry. A biblical community based way for Christians to share each other's medical benefits bills. That means no enrollment deadlines and you can choose any doctor or hospital you want. That kind of freedom is big, especially if you're self employed between jobs or you just need something that fits your budget better. CHM has been around for decades faithfully serving the Christian community and many members save hundreds of dollars a month compared to traditional health insurance. And that margin gives you breathing room when you're working the baby's steps and trying to steward your money well. And right now CHM's offering new members a 50% credit towards their first month of membership. Get [e-mail] budget and use promo code RAMSEY. That's chministries.org budget and promo code Ramsey.

[Ken Coleman]

All right, let's go to Diana in Las Vegas. Diana, how can we help today?

[Caller]

Hi, yes, I was wondering if my husband and I can afford to buy a new Model Y Tesla.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, I like these questions.

[Ken Coleman]

Walk us through the potential doubt. What would be causing a lack of

[Caller]

certain Cindy, My husband thinks I'm being careless and not thinking about our retirement, but I think we have more than enough for retirement and I think we're over saving. It's time for us to actually loosen up the belt a little bit and enjoy life.

[Jade Warshaw]

I like the sound of that. Tell us how much is your nest egg?

[Caller]

Okay, so right now we have over 1 million spread out between our 401, our Roth, our brokerage account. We also have 11,000 emergency 20,000 right now that we already saved up because we're planning to go to Europe to experience Christmas market this November.

[Jade Warshaw]

Nice.

[Caller]

We don't have any debt except for our mortgage. That's. We still owe 380,000. The value of the home is 1.5.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Caller]

We have, we have lots of equity. And then, and then right now and we still owe car for. We still owe about 15. We have another Model Y, but my son, he's, he's driving soon and I want to give him the old Model Y and buy us a new Model Y.

[Jade Warshaw]

Got you. And when you said over 1 million, is it like 1.1 or is it like 1.8? Like how much? Over 1 million.

[Caller]

One point. So 700,000 for pre tax, 401k. We have 129 on our Roth. We have 200,000 on our brokerage and then 11,000 rainy day fund and the 20,000 for the.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, so here's where I'm at. I think you've done extremely well and I want you to hear that first and foremost, you guys have really set yourselves up. How old are you?

[Caller]

We're 47.

[Jade Warshaw]

47. Excellent. Good job. Excellent. I think that you could be in a better position before purchasing this vehicle. How much does a model Y cost?

[Caller]

Right now it's only four. It's 41 1.

[Jade Warshaw]

41,000. And what's you guys income?

[Caller]

280.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, so my biggest, I mean the glaring thing here is why haven't you paid off the first model? Why it's 15,000 for crying out loud.

[Caller]

Because he, he says because of the interest, it's low is the money. Just put it.

[Ken Coleman]

Never heard that one.

[Caller]

You know, just, just maxing out our, our retirement and our Roth because right now the market is. We get about 14 return.

So.

[Jade Warshaw]

Diana, do you consider yourself Ramsey folk? Like, are you.

[Ken Coleman]

Are you.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Jade Warshaw]

No.

[Caller]

I've been paying extra on my mortgage. Like,

[Ken Coleman]

okay, take us back to the. Take us back to the show or the part in a Ramsey book where, where we would be okay with you not paying off the car? I'm just curious,

[Jade Warshaw]

do you have a

[Ken Coleman]

page number or an episode number?

[Caller]

I should reread the book again. That's how we live by debt. Except for mortgage.

[Ken Coleman]

But then spoiler alert, it's not in there.

[Jade Warshaw]

We're playing. We're playing. We're, we're, we're, we're being hard on you, Diana. No, I'm not.

[Ken Coleman]

I'm having a blast.

[Caller]

Well, my husband tells me what he wants to do is the 20,000 that we saved up for traveling is pay off the Tesla and we're not going to go traveling this year.

[Jade Warshaw]

But okay, Great.

[Caller]

I've been saving. I've been saving for so long. Working overtime to really go on that trip.

[Jade Warshaw]

Well, here's the thing I think you can do. I think you can do both. Let me tell you how I think you can do both. I think you have more money here than you think. It's just, how are we going to allocate it? So let's go back to la la la la la. Okay, 20,000 saved cash over and above your emergency fund. So, yeah, let's say we take 15 of that, we pay off the first Model Y. Now we have 5,000 left, and we keep that in our vacation fund. 5,000. By the way, how much is the vacation going to cost total?

[Caller]

15.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, so we got 10 more to save. Now tell me, what do you guys bring in every single month again?

[Caller]

Take home. 15,000.

[Jade Warshaw]

15,000amonth.

[Ken Coleman]

And when is the vacation?

[Caller]

I'm planning November, Thanksgiving.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

Got plenty of time to do that. Just out of your take home, how

[Caller]

much is your mortgage payment, including taxes, insurance? It's 2,900. But where's the problem? 35.

[Jade Warshaw]

Here's what it is. Here's. I'm going to tell you what it is. You guys have a very loose price budget. And so the 15,000, it's going here, it's going there. It's, you know, you go out to eat, you do a little of this, a little of that. If you just got very intentional and said, okay, and before November, we need to save up $10,000, making 15,000amonth, and the only debt is your mortgage, which is 2000. Should not be a problem at all.

[Caller]

The model. Right. Oh, if we paid off the model Y. I see.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes. And now when we start talking about the second model, why? I don't know. Is that. Is that used or is that brand new? The 41,000 that you quoted, we're looking at brand new. Okay, what if you just said, hey, instead of us taking the hit on an ev, by the way, why not let somebody else take the hit and buy one that's slightly used?

[Caller]

True. But I'm looking at the tax. The what? I call that the tax deduction. If you. If you bought like, no taxes on tax, if you bought no cars made in the U.S. i don't even know.

[Jade Warshaw]

I'm going to be honest. I don't know what you just said, but all I'm thinking about is how you're going to be able to have your vacation and your Model Y and not take a major hit on your used vehicle. That's what I'm thinking. Now, you can go back and do the math on whatever rebate it is that you're talking about, but in this position, I. I would not advise you to buy this car outright. Brand new. In this position, no.

[Ken Coleman]

And I think the vacation's more important to you, isn't it?

[Caller]

Yes. I like to build good memories with my children. Healthy.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, now, that's the mindset. Because I don't think you're going to listen to a word we said about financial advice, to be completely honest with you. But if I can get through to you on this, then I feel like I got a win for you. So I think you got to go. Wait a second. What's more important to me? Because I can't do all three, because I think you and your husband are on different pages. Is that true or false?

[Jade Warshaw]

Correct.

[Caller]

Okay, so think since we hit our goal, which. Which was one.

[Ken Coleman]

I think your husband's right.

[Caller]

Careless.

[Ken Coleman]

I think your husband' right about everything, except for the fact that he doesn't think you guys can save up enough cash between now and November to cash flow the vacation. That's where he's wrong. But he's right on everything else. So if I'm you and. And life is short, that vacation is going to be something that you will look back on the rest of your life. You will not look back on this new Model Y.

[Jade Warshaw]

No, you won't.

[Ken Coleman]

You just won't. Because listen, I mean this. This is not a disrespect. Folks like you who love fancy, technical cars that drive themselves, you get over cars like that. Because the newest models out, okay? Guys like me, all I want are classic cars that no one can track, and they smell a little bit more than every other car and you feel every second of the road. I don't give two craps about an electric car never going to. It doesn't feel like a car. So here's the. The deal. You buy that car and don't go on vacation, you will regret that. But if you cash flow your vacation, pay off the Model Y, you won't have any regrets at all. Now, you may not believe me, but I'm right. And that's the mindset.

[Caller]

Then what about. What about for a car that my. My son will. Should be. Will be driving?

[Jade Warshaw]

I think you think you can cash flow after you pay it off, I think you can cash flow another vehicle, whether it's a Model Y or whatever,

[Ken Coleman]

another used vehicle, but only secondary to funding that vacation, because the vacation is where your heart is at.

[Jade Warshaw]

I think in the next 12 months you can do both.

[Ken Coleman]

Let me put it like I think so too. But vacation is the highest priority. True or false?

[Caller]

Yes. I really would like to go on Thanksgiving.

[Ken Coleman]

So then you got to give up. So you gotta. You gotta get on hubs page then. And this is where we compromise. And to Jade's point, you'll get your fancy electric car down the road.

[Jade Warshaw]

And let me also clarify because how old is the boy? The son?

[Caller]

She's turning 16.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, can I just tell you are the priority here, my friend. So if you pay off the Model Y and it's not time for you to buy another one yet, guess who's driving it? You.

[Ken Coleman]

That's a great.

[Jade Warshaw]

You are driving. It's your car. He will be strong.

[Ken Coleman]

I drove a Fred Flintstone car when I was 16. Like I had to stop the car with my own feet. I had to accelerate by digging my heels in. This kid doesn't need a Model Y.

[Caller]

I do have my old 2005 G30 infinity that my husband would like to give to myself. It has over $160,000.

[Ken Coleman]

I drove a car that had 275,000 miles on it. It was such a piece of crap. Same car I'm talking about. I could drive down the interstate and play tricks on my friends by pulling the key out the of of the ignition while driving it. Please, he can handle it.

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[Ken Coleman]

All right, folks, if you're debt free, the live like no one else cruise is your chance to celebrate. Hang out with us and Dave for new sessions on building wealth, live episodes of our shows and the world's largest debt free scream. I remember when they did it last year was pretty wild. And next thing I'm walking through the ship and I was trying to get to at least one of the areas and then there it is on the screen. Dave is up there with the cap. Captain got the microphone. You know, he looked like he was in charge of the ship. Yeah, everybody screamed at once. Really, really fun. And you can secure your cabin with a 600 deposit and join us in the Western Caribbean, March 2027. Click the link in the show notes or go to ramseysolutions.comevents to book your cabin today. All right, Jeff and Leonora are up in Pensacola, Florida and iscreen tells me that you, you amazing people are baby steps millionaires. Is this true?

[Caller]

That's very true.

[Ken Coleman]

Well, first of all, congratulations and welcome to the show. Thanks for being with us.

[Caller]

Well, thank you.

Thanks.

We were actually on the show 10 years ago.

[Ken Coleman]

No way. What, for a debt free scream?

[Caller]

No, we called it for the millionaire deal. And I told Dave I was retiring that year and he said, well, call us back in 10 years and let us know how you've been doing. So here we are 10 years later.

[Ken Coleman]

Well, that's fantastic. All right, well, let's get some details here. What is, what is your net worth?

[Caller]

We'd like to say it's in excess of $2 million.

[Ken Coleman]

You like to say. What does that mean?

[Caller]

Well, there may be a little bit more in there that's prompts to our endowments and things like that that we don't really consider our money anymore.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay.

[Caller]

The pledge to give it away. Okay, so we set it on $2 million in our minds is our money.

[Ken Coleman]

Got it. And what is the mix that creates the 2 million?

[Caller]

We have about a million 6 in mutual funds and 401ks and then the remainder in real estate.

Ira.

[Ken Coleman]

Jeff, I don't know what's going on with the phone here. We're having a hard time understanding you. Your phone's kind of coming in and out.

[Caller]

Oh, all right. Well, you need to speak close.

So that's why.

[Ken Coleman]

There it is. Leonora is on top of it. That's great.

[Jade Warshaw]

So 1.6 in mutual funds. And what is the other 400,000? The mortgage?

[Caller]

No, no, no. Real estate. We don't, we don't Carry mortgages. We don't carry any debt whatsoever.

[Jade Warshaw]

Right. I mean, the equity.

[Caller]

Oh, God, I'm going to say half a million dollars.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay.

[Caller]

In equity.

[Jade Warshaw]

Perfect.

[Ken Coleman]

Fantastic. And what is your income? Or what was your income? Give us kind of your lowest income ever. And then what? You guys may have finished out at your highest income.

[Caller]

Our lowest income ever was probably 30, 40,000 to 50.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay.

[Caller]

And it grew to an average between the both of us of, I'd say 150 towards the end of our saving years.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, great. And what did you guys do?

[Caller]

We're both medical professionals. I'm a trauma nurse and a paramedic, and my wife Leonora, she's a registered nurse

director for years as well.

[Ken Coleman]

Oh, fantastic. Okay. And your age is right now?

[Caller]

I'm 68.

I'm 71.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, great. And any of this money inherited at all?

[Caller]

No.

[Ken Coleman]

The chuckle, the knowing chuckle that we asked just so people realize you can actually do this without inheriting money. Wow. Really fun. What would you say to young people who, you know, are just getting started? Maybe they're a young couple, maybe they're in the medical profession, you know, and they wonder, is this possible? What would you tell them they need to do to actually get where you guys are?

[Caller]

Well, I would say no amount is too small to start saving and to clear all your time. Debt. My husband, that was his clarion call. No debt. And a lot of that he learned from Dave Ramsey and listening to him and reading his books. And we lived by that rule because we had lots of debt when we were young, when we were first married, and very little, very little hand to mouth, as they say, but we just struggled. You make sacrifices, but you have to have your eyes on the prize. And it wasn't always easy, but it's without fail. Hard work, determination, and commitment. You can do anything.

[Jade Warshaw]

I love it.

[Ken Coleman]

And we just saw an awesome picture of you two on a cruise ship. So what is. Describe what life is like now on the other side of all that hardship and discipline that you talked about?

[Caller]

Well, basically right now we. We still survive just on our Social Security checks, believe it or not.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay.

[Caller]

But every once in a while, we splurge and we've spurged a ton of about five cruises this year.

[Jade Warshaw]

That's awesome. I'm sorry, I said that's incredible.

[Caller]

Yeah, yeah. We've been to the South Pacific and Fiji and all those islands and places out there in Alabama, a number of different destinations. And, you know, so we're just. We understand our mortality, being our ages, that we are so we're going to spend a little bit of it.

[Jade Warshaw]

Well, we're so proud. You guys are heroes. We're so proud of what you've accomplished.

[Ken Coleman]

That's awesome. Jeff and Leonora, thank you so much. Our baby steps millionaires today. Thanks for sharing your story. I love it. And there's so many young couples that could aspire to that. And here's what I love about that, Jade. You know, Leonor laid it out. There wasn't any fancy strategy, right?

[Jade Warshaw]

Nope.

[Ken Coleman]

It was just God's and grandma's ways of handling money. The same theme that we've had on this show for decades. So thank you all again for sharing your story. Really, really fun. Let's go to Nick in San Francisco. Nick, how can we help?

[Caller]

I'm doing great.

Thank you for taking my call.

[Ken Coleman]

Sure. What's going on?

[Caller]

I live in California, and as you

can imagine, housing is extremely expensive here.

And I was wondering if it makes sense to buy a rental property before

buying, like a primary property.

[Jade Warshaw]

What would be the purpose of doing that? First, Is it a size issue? Like, is it. A rental is way smaller than what you need, but at least it gets you in the door. What's, what's the play here?

[Caller]

I mean, my, my thought process is, I mean, in my area, I'm looking at maybe 700,000, even more to just buy a starter home.

When I was looking in other states to buy a rental. Rental home for, you know, much cheaper, Much, much cheaper.

And I was, I would be able to buy it outright, and I'm looking to make money off that.

[Ken Coleman]

What are you doing for a living right now? Just renting somewhere.

[Caller]

I live in a rental apartment that's owned by my family and I pay about 600amonth.

That's plus utilities.

[Ken Coleman]

Do you have to live in your area or are you able to work from anywhere?

[Caller]

I have to live in my area.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

Why would you think about buying a house out of state and dealing with all that headache?

[Jade Warshaw]

Is it? Yeah. What do you think is going to happen? You're going to turn a quick profit? I'm still trying to understand.

[Caller]

No, I'm just looking. I mean, I'm just looking, like in the long term to see if it's. If it makes sense. I mean, I have money to buy a property.

[Ken Coleman]

How much?

[Caller]

And I have 300 to 350,000.

[Ken Coleman]

What do you make per year?

[Caller]

I make 130,000.

[Jade Warshaw]

So help me understand. You've got 350,000 to spend something in your area would cost 700. So you could Essentially put half down. I'm still trying to make sense of what the out of state rental property would do for you.

[Caller]

I'm just sort of looking at the fact that, I mean, I mean I'm looking at the fact that property taxes and insurance are much cheaper there. And I'm just looking.

[Ken Coleman]

Are you moving for an investment?

[Jade Warshaw]

No.

[Caller]

You're not going to move for an investment? Because I would invest that.

[Ken Coleman]

I wouldn't buy a house, I wouldn't

[Jade Warshaw]

buy real estate in another state. If you're looking to earn quick compounding interest, I would not invest in another property in another state. I would say simply drop it in an S&P 500 index fund and let it sit for the next five years and keep adding to it, you know, and just kind of have a five year horizon on this. And before you know it, you'll have a $700,000 property.

[Caller]

Sam. Foreign.

[Ken Coleman]

Hey folks, have you heard about Ask Ramsey? If you haven't, it's our free AI tool that's built and trained on proven Ramsey principles. And today we're going to break down some of the most asked questions from this week. There are some questions around life insurance, but the most asked question was around retirement accounts, rules and options for contributing to multiple types of accounts. IRAs, 401ks, 403b, tsp, so many of the acronyms. And the main question is what are the best options for me and in what order? Okay, so again, this is two Ask Ramsey. People are diving in there.

[Jade Warshaw]

Break it down.

[Ken Coleman]

And so here we go. Match beats Roth beats traditional. So the workplace match is first. Right. So whether that's traditional or Roth option 15 up to the match, that includes four or three Bs and TSPs. Then you go next to Roth, whether that's an irregular IRA or a 401k, max that out and then back to the workplace option to finish out the 15%. Taxable investment accounts should happen after the 15% if you want to invest more. So Ask Ramsey can actually help walk you through what options work best for you in your specific situation. And go today. Ask your [e-mail] or click the link in the description if you're listening on podcast or YouTube. So there it is. Ask questions Ramsey. Just type it in and there it goes. Tony is up next in Houston, Texas. Tony, how can we help?

[Caller]

Hey.

[Ken Coleman]

Hi. I can hear you loud and clear. What's going on?

[Caller]

Hey, Happy Friday. So I'm in a situation where recently I recently got a good, well paying job right out of college. But my family has some debts and they are asking me to pay the debts. For what?

[Ken Coleman]

No, goodness gracious, hard pass.

[Jade Warshaw]

When you say you got a good job with good money, tell us what that, exactly what that means. What are you doing and what do you earn?

[Caller]

Okay, so I'm a machine learning consultant for a Telecommunication company earning 285k per year.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Nice.

[Jade Warshaw]

How do they know that and they know that you told them that information?

[Ken Coleman]

Oh, boy. That was a two Jade's point. Jade make a great point here. And you made this point earlier, so I got a follow up. How soon did the ask or did the ask for that, for you to help them with their debts come after you told them about this new gig or were they already pressuring you?

[Caller]

No, they were not. They were very supportive and I thought they would just be, you know, be like. Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

So once they found out about the new raise, they said help. Yeah.

[Caller]

And that has three cars. And he's asking me to pay all of them.

[Jade Warshaw]

And I hear fund your sister's college too. I see that on the screen.

[Caller]

Yes. Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

Let me tell you what I would tell them.

[Ken Coleman]

You aren't making 285 million.

[Jade Warshaw]

I know what's happening.

[Ken Coleman]

285 after taxes doesn't take care of those problems.

[Jade Warshaw]

Is this. Can I ask straight up, is this anything culturally related that we need to know about or is this just people who are off their rocker?

[Caller]

Well, I am Asian, so is there

[Jade Warshaw]

an expectation for the sons to pay? For the parents,

[Caller]

there's no expectation.

[Ken Coleman]

Usually.

[Caller]

I mean, I thought, you know, we would be just dealing with our debts and things like, obviously, like, I'm open to helping them, but.

[Jade Warshaw]

But there is. There is nothing, there is no tradition there that you feel like they are relying on that you no longer believe it. Do you see what I'm saying?

[Caller]

Well, there's no tradition, no culture.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, so let me ask you a question, Tony. Why'd you call us? Because when I immediately said no, you

[Sponsor/Announcer]

went,

[Ken Coleman]

so we want to help. But why'd you call? How can we help you?

[Caller]

The thing is, I love my family and I currently live with them. But the thing is, this situation is it really is taking a toll on my mental health. Yeah, dinner. It's.

[Ken Coleman]

How can we help you?

[Jade Warshaw]

I think you gotta move out, Tony.

[Ken Coleman]

What's your question?

[Caller]

I kind of want to know your opinion. Do you. Would you. If you were in my shoes, would you just.

[Jade Warshaw]

I would move today, Tony. I would move. Move out. You are grown. First off, money aside, what you make, career aside, you're grown. So it's time to move out.

[Ken Coleman]

That's thing one, and not pay them a nickel.

[Jade Warshaw]

And not pay them a nickel. And thing two, by you moving out and separating yourself from their expectations, you get to go home and eat a sandwich and not ever think about this again. Versus being in their house. Like you said, every night at dinner they're gonna bring it up in the morning. You know when your mom sees you before you go to work. Work she's going to do you see what I'm saying? So you're keeping yourself in that, that guilt ridden environment. Take yourself out. Remove yourself from the conversation.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. There is nothing else for us to say. You will resent your family. The very family you love, you will resent if you capitulate to their manipulation. Don't do it.

[Caller]

It's. It's going to burn the bridge that I'm afraid.

[Jade Warshaw]

No, it's not. You will not. Here's the thing. I know I just got very hot handed very quickly. You are not burning the bridge, Tony. There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying I went to school. I earned this income. This is my life. There is nothing stopping sister from doing the same. And mom and dad, it's never been my responsibility to pay off your mortgage.

[Ken Coleman]

Three cars and I.

[Jade Warshaw]

That's where I stand. That is the, the. The barrier and the, the boundary that I'm putting in place. I really hope you guys can understand that because. Because that is perfectly logical and it makes perfect sense. Period.

[Ken Coleman]

Done. And if it burns the bridge, that's on them. You can't do anything about this. I feel for you, but only to a degree because I'm telling you. See, Jade and I are sitting in the enviable position of not having any emotion attached to this.

[Jade Warshaw]

That's right.

[Ken Coleman]

And our audience, we got people in the lobby, they're shaking their head no, Tony, no. Because we aren't attached to this. And so none of us have the fear. And I honestly think that the best thing you can do in a situation like this is call family members bluffs.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes.

[Ken Coleman]

Call their bluff. And so move out today. Don't pay them a nickel. Tell them why. Tell them you're happy to guide them on what they should be doing if they're willing to listen. But absolutely not. And I'm sorry, we got to cut it there. I love that you said go home and what kind of single sandwich for

[Jade Warshaw]

you know up on me.

[Ken Coleman]

I don't even know see what you're so fancy.

[Jade Warshaw]

What is that?

[Ken Coleman]

Nobody in America knows what you're talking

[Jade Warshaw]

about, like, a nice bun, and there's, like, pork and, like, green beans. Banh mi. Anybody?

[Ken Coleman]

You guys know what that is?

[Jade Warshaw]

Banh mi.

[Ken Coleman]

Kelly does banh mi.

[Jade Warshaw]

And there's, like, mayonnaise in there.

[Ken Coleman]

A barbecue sandwich.

[Jade Warshaw]

I don't know. It's Vietnamese. It's delicious. Or.

[Ken Coleman]

Boy, I gotta tell you, this is exciting. Now I'm glad I asked, because now I have a new sandwich I need to try.

[Jade Warshaw]

Or you could do. Maybe he's eaten a bit blt. Like, just a bacon, lettuce, tomato.

[Ken Coleman]

Well, you know, I asked because this is tough. Emotionally, I'm having a little fun, but I love how you kind of said go. And I actually think when you. When you take a decision like this and take a stand, you need to emotionally eat 100%. You know what my emotional go to sandwich is?

[Jade Warshaw]

Tell me right now.

[Ken Coleman]

PB and J. Oh, really?

[Jade Warshaw]

That's.

[Ken Coleman]

And I'm gonna chase it with a glass of milk.

[Caller]

Oh.

[Ken Coleman]

Like I'm 10 years old. I know you hate. Hate milk, but I'm just saying, PB and J.

[Jade Warshaw]

Listen, Stacy ain't coming anywhere near that mouth after peanut butter and milk. Get out of here.

[Ken Coleman]

What are you talking about? So judgmental.

[Jade Warshaw]

I'm just looking out for Stacy in all of this, that's all.

[Ken Coleman]

All right, America, you guys can comment. What's your favorite emotional sandwich?

[Jade Warshaw]

I'm gonna go with the blt. Blt.

[Ken Coleman]

Blt.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yep.

[Ken Coleman]

Kelly the producer. Let's get Kelly the producer in here. What's your go to emotional sandwich? You've had a rough day, and you're going to eat a sandwich to feel better. What is it?

[Jade Warshaw]

Turkey with bacon, for sure. Extra crispy. I like that.

[Ken Coleman]

Any condiments?

[Jade Warshaw]

Homemade ranch. Ooh, Always with the homemade ranch. Honorable mention, meatball sub. Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay. I feel like that's pizza. I'm not sure if that's a sandwich. I think that's pizza. I think it's pizza. It's pizza. Do you know what I mean?

[Jade Warshaw]

I'm just.

[Ken Coleman]

You don't think so? You think that meatballs.

[Jade Warshaw]

I'm flabbergasted that you would not call it a meatball sub. A sandwich. Flabbergasted.

[Ken Coleman]

Hey, it's got the sauce, it's got the cheat. You're putting cheese on it.

[Jade Warshaw]

Absolutely. Mozzarella or provolone.

[Ken Coleman]

It's a meat pizza. It's. It's all that is.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, wow.

[Ken Coleman]

You know what I mean? It's the same. It's got all the same ingredients. It's on A bun versus, like, a sandwich. I'll tell you what, I'm going to a Philly. Philly cheese.

[Jade Warshaw]

Hey, okay, now listen.

[Ken Coleman]

Now you're.

[Jade Warshaw]

Now you're about some business. Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

Now you're talking about some business, Jay. I need the Philly. You know what I mean?

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

That's what I need. That's good. Need that. Need that protein, the extra cheese, some pepper. Deal with all my emotions.

[Jade Warshaw]

I like that.

[Ken Coleman]

All right, there you go, folks.

[Jade Warshaw]

Emotional eating is what we're suggesting.

[Ken Coleman]

This is what people come for. Great life advice and then a good conversation about a sandwich with a side of homemade ranch. Way to go, Kelly. Welcome back to the Rainbow Ramsey show in the Fair Winds Credit Union studio alongside Jade Warshaw. I'm Ken Coleman. Thank you for being with us. The phone number to jump in is, $88255225. Triple 8825-5225. Huntsville, Alabama, is where Denise is waiting. Denise, how can we help?

[Caller]

Hey, thank you guys for taking my call. I appreciate it.

[Ken Coleman]

You bet.

[Caller]

Here's the. Here's the short of it. I'm 54 years old. I've been a widow twice. Oh, my go retirement saved. And my income does not. Does not. It doesn't cover my expenses. I had credit card debt and I got. I ended up having to call National Debt Recovery to turn those over to them. And it wasn't even a lot of debt. It was just $10,000 that me and my past husband had incurred paying his medical bills. So after he died, it left me with that debt and I had one income instead of two. So I went ahead and turned those over and I just recently paid one of the smaller credit cards that I just refused to turn over. I paid it off. I don't have a lot of debt, but it doesn't. I'm just not able to pay my bills. And I've sold everything that I could sell that I can live with without. I downsized. I got rid of the truck and downsized to an economical little Mazda 3 that I drive to work. I work 45 minutes away.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, what do you make?

[Caller]

I make $16 an hour. So I end up bringing home, depending on the week, it's anywhere from 1500 to a thousand.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay.

[Caller]

Every two weeks.

[Ken Coleman]

And the little Mazda 3 is at paper for.

[Caller]

It is actually not paid for yet. I still owe like 2500 on it. And I only bought it for 4000. It's got 200,000 miles on it, but it's a decent, good car.

[Ken Coleman]

What do you do for a living.

[Caller]

I am a front desk. I take co pays collect. I work for doctor's office.

[Ken Coleman]

Gotcha. Okay, can you walk us through your debt? The remaining debt you have go smallest to largest.

[Caller]

Smallest to largest. Smallest would be. Can I just go down the list the way I wrote down?

[Ken Coleman]

Sure, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, go ahead.

[Caller]

I'm sorry. The house is 800amonth, and I still owe 124,000 on it.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay.

[Caller]

I don't think I could rent cheaper. The payments are $800. No, I don't even think I could rent cheaper than that.

[Ken Coleman]

You're doing good there.

[Caller]

The health insurance, I have to go through the market, and it's for me and my child. It's 50amonth.

[Ken Coleman]

Well, I don't need your monthly bills. I just want to know your debt.

[Caller]

Oh, my debt. I'm sorry.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, that's all fine.

[Caller]

What I have left in debt is the car, which is right at 2500. And I already got rid of the credit card, the other credit card. But then I have that 10,000 that I've turned over to National Debt Recovery.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, that's actively being. They're actively covering that.

[Caller]

Yeah, they take a hundred. They just started after Thanksgiving last year. They start. They take 150 out of every paycheck for 29 months.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, boy. Can you. Can you get out of that? What's the penalty for canceling that?

[Caller]

I'm actually not sure I want you

[Jade Warshaw]

to check into that.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Jade Warshaw]

You might be on the hook for some fees, but all they're going to do is stack those $150 payments off to the side and they're going to let this default. And then they're going to try to make a deal. That's what they're going to do. And that's honestly something that you could do yourself if you chose to do, but I don't know that you need to do that. You just yet. That's going to tank your credit. It's going to.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

It's not good. And like I said, there's usually a good amount of fees attached to that. So I would. If you can get out of that and it's. It's reasonable. I don't know how much you've already paid in, but I would get out of that pretty much immediately. So after the car, the 2500, and after this 10,000, is there anything left? Is there any other debt?

[Caller]

No.

[Jade Warshaw]

No student loans? No. Nothing like that. Okay. So the good news. The good news is your mortgage is awesome. The $800 a month. You're right. You can't rent cheaper than that. And the good news is you've got $12,500 of debt, which under the circumstances, I don't know why I was expecting, but I thought it was going to be a lot more. Now the problem is if you have a month to month income issue and there's no margin, that $12,500 of debt feels like a mountain. Just because you're struggling to eat right.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, I want you to. So let's dive in with Jade. Jade's the budget queen. Give us where do you think, think you're spending too much money?

[Caller]

That's just it. I don't know. I went through.

[Jade Warshaw]

Let's look at it. You make 3,000amonth, give or take, right?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Jade Warshaw]

Right.

[Caller]

Less than that, actually. It's more like, and I, and I work two jobs, so it's more like, I mean, second job, it's about 2500amonth.

[Jade Warshaw]

Then it's an income crisis is what you have. Cuz no matter what you do, that 2500 is not going to feel like enough. It's, it's very hard to live on.

[Ken Coleman]

You're working two jobs. I only heard the one job. That's 16.

[Caller]

I do the 16 an hour. And then the same company, they asked me if I would clean my office for $120 every Friday.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, so that, that's after hours. That's the second job.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes, but none of them are 40 hours a week.

[Caller]

The, the $16 an hour job is 40 hours a week. And they let me work over all the time to try to help.

Help me.

[Ken Coleman]

Well, that's good news.

[Caller]

I mean, I feel like all I do is work. I go in at 8 and I don't get home till I know.

[Jade Warshaw]

But I think we need to get you a higher hourly. That's the problem.

[Ken Coleman]

I do, I think that's the transition. But I also, I believe if you'll let Jade walk you through this here for a couple minutes. A lot of detail. I, I got to believe there's, there's, there's some budgeting issues going on.

[Jade Warshaw]

Let's try to find it. So after, let's say you were making 2500 after the 800, that leaves you with 1700. Then you said for each you and your, your daughter. Did you say it's 50 bucks a month for health insurance?

[Caller]

Yep.

[Jade Warshaw]

So 100 total.

[Caller]

It's, it's yeah, $50 a month. Well, it's both of us, both of us are in there for 5025 a person.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, okay, so that takes us down to 1600 or 1650. What next? What else?

[Caller]

Water is 35.

[Jade Warshaw]

Uhhuh. What else?

[Caller]

Electric's 180.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Caller]

Progressive car insurance is hundred. Okay, I have a 1 them Gerber Life insurances that my mother got on me that if I pass away, it gives my child $10,000 to bury me. It's $7 a month.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, we're gonna cancel that immediately. But it's seven bucks. Okay, what else?

[Caller]

And then, of course, now I have the new national network relief of 151 coming out of every patient.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, fine. What else?

[Caller]

Cell phones are 90.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, do you do like a consumer cellular or. Who were you with?

[Caller]

We're with Cricket.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, good. Next.

[Caller]

That's just for two phones. Internet's 90. And then I have a life insurance that I. That since both husbands passed away and left me with nothing, I couldn't even hardly bury them. I didn't want to leave my child like that. So I took out a life insurance plan of 250,000. I pace six for me.

[Jade Warshaw]

Is it. Is it term life? Did you do it through Xander?

[Caller]

Yes, I did it through S.H.I.E.L.D.

[Jade Warshaw]

okay, I want you to. I want you to call up Xander and check it through with them and make sure it's the best possible option. If not, you might be able to pay a little less because you said you're paying 248amonth or a quarter.

[Caller]

I pay 69 every three months.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Caller]

Okay, 250 for a year.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, we got.

[Ken Coleman]

We got about 40 seconds right now.

[Jade Warshaw]

I'm. I'm seeing you with 900 extra dollars. So what are you spending on food?

[Caller]

Food?

We don't. I'm honest. We. We spend something if I have a little bit left over. We. We spend about 110 if we have anything left over.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, so that leaves me. That leaves me on my checklist here. That means you got 830 some odd dollars to spare. We're gonna give you every dollar and you're gonna plug this in and you're gonna do just what I walked through with you. Every single item. That money is draining somewhere and you don't have. Have the margin for any drains right now. And I believe that you do need to find something that's going to pay you in high. A higher hourly rate than $16 an hour. That is where your primary struggle is. You're not going to be able to side hustle your way out of that low core income.

[George Kamel]

Hey, guys.

[Ken Coleman]

George Camel here.

[George Kamel]

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[Ken Coleman]

Hey, if you're working the baby steps, the best and fastest way to do it is by using every dollar. It's more than just a budgeting app now. The plan is built right in. You can track your progress, get personalized recommendations and coaching right there in the app to help you out. It's almost like having one of us right on your phone. It's really fantastic. Start every dollar for free today by downloading it in the App Store or Google Play. Riley is up in Chicago. Riley, how can we help?

[Alvaro]

Hi.

[Caller]

Thank you for having me on the show. I'm 28. My wife is 32. We've been married five months now. We're moving. We currently have about $100,000 equity in our current home. And kind of wondering what we should do with that equity, whether we should just roll it into the next house, pay off debt, and then use the remainder as a down payment or pay off debt and then do some remodeling on our new home.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, I love this idea. So 100,000 in equity. How much debt do you guys have?

[Caller]

So I currently have no debt. I'm 100% debt debt free. My wife has about 70,000. She has a car loan for $10,000, a personal loan that she got to remodel the house that we're currently in. And that's for $10,000 and then about 50,000 in student loans.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. Okay. So, yeah, I like the idea of since you guys happen to be moving, you have this equity and you are newlyweds. So it's really a fresh start. I like the idea of taking that 100,000, taking 770 of it to pay off the existing debt between the two of you. And then what I would do with the 30,000 is I'd say how much of this 30 constitutes a. A three to six months of expenses for us. What would you say?

[Caller]

Well, with the new house and everything, it would probably be close to 10 to 12,000.

[Jade Warshaw]

Probably okay, so we'll say maybe half to be fair. And so that leaves you with 15,000. Now the question is, does that leave you with enough of a down payment for a new house or what would you do?

[Caller]

Yeah, so I have. We have 80,000 cash in the bank that we're going to use for a down payment already.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. So you could add the other 15 with that cash and have 95.

[Caller]

Yep.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, it does. Now if you put the 95 down, does that get you where you want to be, mortgage payment wise?

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Yeah.

[Caller]

So we're going to do a 15 year mortgage and that gets us. It's like, I think when did the math, like 27% of our monthly income would be our mortgage and that would be everything in escrow, property taxes, all that.

[Jade Warshaw]

I love that. I'm okay. I'm not going to split hairs on that. I love that for you guys. And then how quickly could you then. I mean, it sounds like there might be work to do on this house because you mentioned renovations.

[Caller]

Yeah, we kind of want to do a kitchen remodel on the house. And then everything else is. We can kind of just do as we go. But. But the house is moving ready right now.

[Jade Warshaw]

How quickly could you save up to do that reno in cash?

[Caller]

Probably a year. I have overtime opportunities at work, so it's easy for me to come up with extra cash if I need it.

[Jade Warshaw]

Listen, you are very analytical, very logical. This is easy. This is the easiest call I've had all day.

[Alvaro]

Thank you.

[Jade Warshaw]

There's no argument.

[Ken Coleman]

I do have a question, though. The way you worded things, do you two have separate finance finances? It doesn't sound like it, but the way you said it earlier, it did

[Caller]

sound like yes and no. Like we're kind of. We're slowly combining our finances. I guess the way we have it set up now is out of our paycheck, we put, you know, a certain amount into a shared account. And then all of our household income, vacations, food, every. All of our living expenses comes out of that. And then we have our separate money for, you know, if I want to buy a toy or whatever, you know, like a four wheeler stone bill, something like that. Or if she wants. Wants to go do her hair, whatever it is, and she can I select.

[Jade Warshaw]

Can I suggest a tweak to that?

[Caller]

Yep.

[Jade Warshaw]

Where you guys still have that personal autonomy. What if you put. What if you put all the money in one account, all of it, and then on the budget, you designated amounts of money, like equal amounts of money for you to spend how you want and equal amounts of money for her to spend how she wants. Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

The.

[Caller]

I mean, yeah. Basically the same. Just a little bit.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah. It's just creating. It's creating. I don't know if you've. How long you've listened to the show, but I can tell you, just today we've had two calls where, because the. The spouses, they had separate accounts, it kind of created this feeling that. It created this feeling that I can kind of do what I want over here and I don't have to tell my spouse. And over time, things were done that felt like it was crossing the line for the other spouse. So what happened?

[Caller]

So I can totally see that.

[Jade Warshaw]

You know what I mean? So putting it in one account says, hey, this really is our money. And I know, and I'm just making up numbers here, and I know that I have 500 out of that that I spend on what I want, and she has 500 out of that that she spends on what she wants. And then from there on now, you've created transparency. And so for. For instance, for my husband and I, I'll be honest, I rarely am like, what'd you spend your money. Money on? I don't care. Every once in a while, it just comes up, and he's like, oh, I bought this new thing. And I'm like, oh, great. And I. The assumption is. And I know, oh, that's what he spent his money on. But do you see what I'm saying there?

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Caller]

It makes it more of.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Instead of. It makes it more of our money. The whole pot.

[Ken Coleman]

There you go. There you go.

[Jade Warshaw]

This is the easiest call. Your wife. Wonderful. She. No arguments.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

This is great.

[Ken Coleman]

And, yeah. And Riley, you guys got it together, but just to really put a. Put a pin in all this, the hour. There's a real powerful emotion of unity when we talk about hour. And.

[Jade Warshaw]

And.

[Ken Coleman]

And by the way, the data bears it out.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Ken Coleman]

So I don't need to get on a pulpit on that one. Today, Evan is up in Roanoke, Virginia. I know where that is. Evan, how can we help?

[Caller]

Hey, thanks for taking my call. You guys are my favorites when you guys are together. It's my of my favorite combinations, so that's very nice.

[Ken Coleman]

We just high fived Evan in honor of you. Thank you very much.

[Caller]

So I. We're in FPU week number five.

[Jade Warshaw]

Wow. All right. Did you cut out Evan? Oh, I think our high five slapped him silly.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, we'll. We'll see if we can get Evan back. In the meantime, let's go to Robert in Daytona, Florida. Robert, how can we help?

[Caller]

Hey, how you doing?

[Ken Coleman]

Good. You know what? We're having a blast. What's going on with you today?

[Caller]

So I have a little bit of a strange little question here, and I. Career change. I'm kind of curious as to how to transfer careers. I'm kind of on the top of my career right now, so I'm making the most amount of money that I can right now. But if I'll be switching to the second career, I'll be staying all the way down on the bottom. I'm making about 125 right now.

[Ken Coleman]

Mm.

[Caller]

My wife is making about 35. If I switch careers, I'm. I'm going to be dropped to about $25,000 a year.

[Ken Coleman]

Doing what?

[Caller]

Well, I'm a mechanic right now, and I'm looking at flight instruction. I'm going into aviation.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, well, could you even do that? Is it even possible? Have you set your life up to where you can take that big of a hit?

[Caller]

I spent $65,000 rot on training so far.

[Ken Coleman]

I didn't ask you that. I asked you because I understand. I've taken this call many, many times because pilot, the schooling is outrageous and they can just charge through the absolute teeth on this. So is there not a way to be more patient and save, save, save so that we're not taking a big hit here? Because dropping from 135 to 25. The question I have, we have of a lot limited time. Is your life set up to where you can take that big of a hit, $100,000 hit, and not be starving, yes or no?

[Caller]

Well, that's kind of why I'm calling. I have about. We have. We have about 20,000 in savings.

[Ken Coleman]

That's not enough.

[Caller]

And we have about 15,000 and like investments.

[Ken Coleman]

That's not enough.

[Jade Warshaw]

What matters is your month to month. If you can eat every month on what you bring home, between me and

[Caller]

my wife is going to be really, really close.

[Jade Warshaw]

I mean, you're going to be down to 55,000. So what you need to do tonight is a mock budget. So what is that going to look like? 3,700amonth?

[Caller]

About 32.

[Ken Coleman]

How long is the program?

[Caller]

It's the.

[Jade Warshaw]

I'm.

[Caller]

I'm already all taught on everything. I. I have enough hours to start my career.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, well, how long then will you be making 25?

[Caller]

It's a very good question. A year? 2.

[Ken Coleman]

You better get the answer to that. And then you do what Jade's talking about. This Is all about numbers meeting up with calendars. So if I'm going to make that for one to two years, I need to know, is that the gospel truth? What is the range? One year, two year. It could be anywhere in there. Okay, great. Now that's 25,000. So how much money do we have to save up before I take that role? And you may have to press. Press pause, Robert. It sucks. You have to press pause going into that until we have the money saved up to make up the difference that will determine whether or not you can do it. Do I have the cash to make up for the shortfall? Really simple. Starts with a budget. First,

[Sponsor/Announcer]

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[Ken Coleman]

All right, we've got on the debt free stage in the lobby here at Ramsey Solutions. Alvaro, did I say that right?

[Alvaro]

Absolutely.

[Ken Coleman]

Fantastic. Welcome. And you're here to do your debt free scream?

[Alvaro]

I guess I am.

[Ken Coleman]

All right, let's go. Let's get the details. All right, how much debt?

[Alvaro]

It was $90,493.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay. And how long took?

[Alvaro]

20 months.

[Ken Coleman]

20 months. Okay, and what was the range of income?

[Alvaro]

I started at 73,000 and currently I'm at 92. 2,000.

[Jade Warshaw]

Way to go.

[Ken Coleman]

What. What led to that?

[Alvaro]

I'm an occupational therapist and I. I did a lot of side hustles in this. In the meantime, I tutored, repaired glass for phones, dog walked, you name it, I did it.

[Jade Warshaw]

Love that. What kind of debt was it?

[Alvaro]

All student loans.

[Jade Warshaw]

Hey. Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay. Very fun. Okay, so what happened 20 months ago?

[Caller]

Go.

[Alvaro]

I graduated from grad school and I saw the bill and I started seeing how much interest was going to accrue. And I did the calculations. And in interest, if I did the 20 year plan, it was going to be $75,000 extra on top of the student loans. Essentially, they would have doubled.

[Ken Coleman]

Right.

[Alvaro]

So I was like, I can't do that. And during this time, it was. I was having no interest accrued. So I was like, I got to go at it. I got to go ham. So I Made a deal with my parents. Parents. And I asked them, hey, can I live at home for a year? You guys don't charge me rent, but after that you can charge me double rent of whatever you wanted so I can aggressively go at this. So they helped me through this journey. And then after that they saw how aggressively I was going at it, that I wasn't going out, I was doing what I needed to. And they're like, we're going to let you finish off your student loans.

[Jade Warshaw]

They dropped the double rent.

[Alvaro]

They did.

[Jade Warshaw]

Nice.

[Alvaro]

Just the 20 months.

[Ken Coleman]

That's great. So here we are, parents. So, okay, give us an average or if you know the exact amount of what you were paying monthly to get there. 90k in 20 months. I can do an average. But I wonder, was it that clean? Were there certain months over the 20 months where you were able to put more, what did it end up looking like? Each month paying off debt.

[Alvaro]

It was about 5,000amonth. 5,000 plus.

[Ken Coleman]

And what was your take home?

[Alvaro]

It wasn't much. It was like 55, 5600.

[Jade Warshaw]

Wow.

[Alvaro]

And those were basic things of like, I'm going to help with the groceries, I'm going to gas.

[Jade Warshaw]

I'm.

[Alvaro]

The biggest goal was my side hustle to pay like the principal. But then after that, my main job was really just get after it because I knew that was the biggest way.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah, I love this. This right here is a gleaming example of when it makes sense and how to do the. I'm a live at home for a little while to get this debt paid off. Excellent. Well done. Wow. So what was the hardest part? I mean, obviously you're seeing your money go out the door and you're living at mom's house. What else was hard?

[Alvaro]

Being able to. Or finding the courage to delay gratification and saying no. Saying no to a lot of things. I wanted to do that in the moment. I was like, I'm looking at the future. I'm looking to see what I can accomplish later. Because right now it does stink. But in the future, I know it's going to be so worth it.

[Jade Warshaw]

And it has been so the keeping understanding the logical part. Yeah, you know what I have to do. I got to stick. But keeping the promise to yourself is the hardest part.

[Alvaro]

Absolutely.

[Jade Warshaw]

Wow. So here's my thing. I have, you know, I'm on social media. I hear people talking all the time. And when you mentioned paying off student loans, the automatic mindset is, that's impossible. I want you to talk because. How old are you?

[Alvaro]

30.

[Jade Warshaw]

30 I want you to talk to the 27 year old, the 30 year old who just finished grad school, just finished undergrad, and is like, yeah, I'm just going to kick the can down the road forever. I haven't even calculated the interest.

[Alvaro]

They just need to do it. It's a mindset, it's a mentality, and it really does spread into every aspect of life. Your work, the way you decide to go about having friends, those intentional relationships and those intentional things that you choose to do in life, they carry on. So that's why this was so important to me, because I knew that if I can be dedicated as I have been in the gym or in my nutrition or whatever aspect I've might be, it carries out into being just a better person and you being able to portray that in your personality and whatever encounters you have.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, you have figured out you have unlocked something so important. You have figured out that discipline begets discipline.

[Alvaro]

And so absolutely.

[Ken Coleman]

Have you always been that way or did you develop it as a result of the urgency with this process?

[Alvaro]

Different seasons of life definitely led me that way. I was growing up being an athlete and then I got to school, stopped doing that for a little bit, but then I found that purpose. And once you find that purpose and you know what you're looking for and what you want to be, there's no stopping you.

[Jade Warshaw]

That's right.

[Ken Coleman]

At what point after you're paying 5,000amonth does this go from being, I can't believe I'm doing this to look at what I'm doing. Was there an emotional shift, if you understand what I'm asking?

[Alvaro]

Oh, yeah. It's really like a countdown because I started with 90,000, so it was like, I start at nine and then we get to eight, seven, six, all the way down. And once we get to that final zero and you're just on the bare minimum, thousands. It's like it's coming, it's going.

[Jade Warshaw]

I love, I love everything about this. Yeah, I. I do.

[Ken Coleman]

So 30 years of age. Okay. And now you're on the other side of this.

[Alvaro]

Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

How has it changed your perspective? Looking forward because you're a young man.

[Alvaro]

Yeah, it's a great feeling because I bought my Beyonce's ring. Paid if we're in cash.

[Ken Coleman]

Oh, we see it over there. Okay, hold it up there so we can get. There we go. I like, love it. I need some sunglasses.

[Alvaro]

And then on top of that, it's just like, I have no fear. Like, Ken, thank you so much for just what you do, because because of you, I was able to leave a toxic work environment and just feel proud of being able to work and do what I do and have passion behind it. Oh, and then there was a quote that Jade once said, with Dave, receipts.

[Ken Coleman]

He's coming with receipts.

[Jade Warshaw]

I love it.

[Alvaro]

She said, with Dave, weird is being independent in a culture that teaches you to be dependent. And that hit me because it really does. And when you're debt free, independent, knowing that, hey, I need a day off tomorrow and I can take that. There's no greater feeling and no greater power knowing that you did that to yourself and you can do that.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah. Autonomy. I am. I'm overwhelmed. You've done such a fantastic job and you dropped a major key. I don't know if people were listening because you know, people are going to listen to this and be inspired by what you're saying. There is a great motivation tactic that you shared, which is when you have a. An even like a nice countable number, like 5,000 or 10,000. Right. It makes it easier to see that number go down in a pattern that is motivating to us. So little major key there. I'm proud of you. What happens next?

[Alvaro]

Life. I started my own business for occupational therapy. I'm a mobile practice. So just growing now, being able to give people the treatments that they desperately need and not having to rely on insurance or anything along those lines because I want to give people the opportunity to live their life and be able to regain all functions.

[Ken Coleman]

All right, hold on. Let's. Not that if I heard you.

[Jade Warshaw]

Fabulous.

[Ken Coleman]

So are you doing a like old school, like cash for your business? No insurance filing at all?

[Alvaro]

That's the goal. But you know, there's stipulations and everything. But that's my goal.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. And is that you're basically okay, this gets you this. And you kind of lay it out like a menu. So people know.

[Jade Warshaw]

A la carte.

[Ken Coleman]

I gotta say, I just. I don't want to go on a rabbit trail. But this to me is the future of personal medicine.

[Jade Warshaw]

100%. I think it should be.

[Ken Coleman]

But I digress. But I'm proud of you starting your business. Okay. So obviously your lovely fiance is here. Who else alongside her walked through this with you and were your biggest fans?

[Alvaro]

Honestly, it was a lot of self. It was a journey by myself for the most part. There's not a lot of people that really helped me, but there's a lot of wisdom that was passed on from. Because when I first, first got out, it was. I always asked, like, what did you guys follow. How do I do this? And it was always the older generation that helped me and said, hey, listen to this. Listen to this guy. And it just helped. It helped tremendously.

[Ken Coleman]

Moral story. Hang around older people.

[Jade Warshaw]

I was just thinking the same thing. It's good to be old.

[Ken Coleman]

It's awesome. All right. This is fun. Are you ready?

[Alvaro]

Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, here we go. We got Alvaro from Dallas, Texas. He paid off 90,000 plus in 20 months, making from 70,000 all the way up to 92,000 and all those other jobs. Alvaro, it's your moment. Let's hear your debt free scream.

[Alvaro]

Thank you, Lord.

[Ken Coleman]

I'm debt free.

[Caller]

There it is.

[Jade Warshaw]

He didn't even need a countdown.

[Ken Coleman]

No countdown. Just a thank you, Lord, which I prefer. Kind of like that. Put his own stamp on it.

[Jade Warshaw]

I'm going to go out on a limb. I'm going to go out on a limb and say, that's one of the goats of debt free screams. Now that's a goat right there.

[Ken Coleman]

That's a fun game for our hardcore Ramsey fans. Like, do they have their top 5 debt free screams?

[Jade Warshaw]

That's a goat.

[Ken Coleman]

You're saying it's in the top five?

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes, because he's young. Okay, two, he. He figured out the. The whole live at home thing and did it flawlessly.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay.

[Jade Warshaw]

Number two, he started a business of his own.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

Number three, he understood a major principle, which is it's not just about paying off the debt. It's about when you have discipline. When you have freedom in one area of your life and you've mastered it, you have to let it go into the other areas. You don't just get thin and get your body right now you do that in your spiritual life. And now you do it in your marriage. And now you do it with your money. He understands that. You can't stop, Alvaro. I'm telling you that right now.

[Ken Coleman]

I got to tell you, pal, you got my co host fired up. She can run through a wall right now. I better go open the door. We're gonna go out and see him and celebrate with it.

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[Ken Coleman]

Let's see if I can finish the show without a plugging himself. Our scripture of the day comes from Psalm 24. Let God grant what is in your heart and fulfill all your plans. Our quote today from John Maxwell. The reality is that you will never get much done unless you go ahead and do it before you are ready.

[Jade Warshaw]

All righty, then.

[Ken Coleman]

There's a word.

[Jade Warshaw]

It is.

[Ken Coleman]

All right, Evan, we got him back, hopefully in Ronoke. Evan, do we have you here?

[Caller]

I'm here. Thank you guys for making me my call again.

[Ken Coleman]

Hey, it's okay. We were worried about you, man. We didn't know what happened, so we're glad to have you back.

[Caller]

My wife. My wife pulled in the driveway and the Bluetooth picked up in her car.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, no. Classic.

[Ken Coleman]

That happens to me all the time. Yeah, I. It's really irritating. All right, what's going on?

[Caller]

So we are in FPU week number five. So we're just starting, you know, going through the. You know. But we are on baby step two. And I have a question about possibly, do we need to go back to baby step one and reevaluate it? Because as a backstory, we have two small businesses that we run. I do a cabinet business, and she does horseback riding lessons. We have 15 acres and 11 horses. And our income last year after. After all expenses was 130 and. And we have $1,000 set aside. But my question is, given that something could come up with a horse that would be, you know, possibly $10,000 for a vet bill, what should we hold in reserve for that for emergencies like that in this situation?

[Jade Warshaw]

Well, there's. First, you need to separate it from your personal monies. So if these are two separate business businesses, there's got to be a line item in her business budget that when she brings her revenues in, some of her expenses, some of. Some of her money goes toward creating retained earnings or like a stockpile of cash, basically an emergency fund for her business. So that's going to be something she needs to build in. That's reasonable to the work that she does. And that's something that you need to build into yours as well. And that happens before you guys take your payrolls. Does that make sense? So it's not going to be part of your normal every dollar budget. That's going to be part of her business building over here to the side.

[Caller]

Okay. So, so personally we should just keep, keep it at a thousand personally. And then, and then on the business side, like realistically, you know, how, how much should. Following these principles? Because obviously, you know, were. My business is about 18 months old and hers is like three or four years old. So she's in the. She. My, my portion of it was 85 last year and she was at 49. And so as far as like operating under the, under Ramsey principles, how much should we hold in reserve for our businesses? And because, you know, we're paying ourselves the property profits and so

[Jade Warshaw]

I understand what you're saying.

[Caller]

Reserve on this business, I would probably

[Jade Warshaw]

say somewhere around three to six months of operating expenses for you both is what I'd be looking to do now for her. She's going to have to figure out what that is. I'm not sure that she has an accurate picture based on the fact that there's no earn like there's nothing held aside. I don't think you guys have an accurate picture of what salary you can actually pull because that's a, that's a significant amount of money that needs to be budgeted for every single month out of her budget. Does that make sense?

[Caller]

It does. And we do have separate, like the. Every. Every, you know, we have a personal and then two business accounts. And her, her gross last year, you know, just because the overhead on horses is a lot. So her gross was 226 and her net was. Was 49. My gross was. Yeah, my gross was. Was 210 and my net was 84.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah. I mean I, I think just the nature of the business that she does, because it's live animals and it's horses specifically. I mean, I think that's always going to be the case that her spend is going to be higher. But my point is I think this can continue to go. But the biggest takeaway for you is to go, okay, the, the money for her business overhead is not coming out of our personal budget. It's coming out of her. The P and L for her business.

[Ken Coleman]

Right.

[Jade Warshaw]

Does that make sense?

[Caller]

It does. And so I guess do we put step. You know, because we have a plan right now our plan to pay off the debt is going to take 27 months.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Caller]

And so $70,000 in debt in 27 months.

[Jade Warshaw]

What this means is, yeah, that's going to take longer. If you want to keep these businesses in a stable position, it means your personal debt's going to take longer, which means you're probably going to have to do some things on the side to bring in extra money to account. Account for that.

[Caller]

Right? Okay.

[Jade Warshaw]

I mean, Ken, am I, am I missing anything?

[Ken Coleman]

I agree. Your advice has been great. I, I only add this mental thing you were touching on it just here. Jay gave you great advice. It's super important that you don't let the intensity. And I love that you're in week five of fpu, right? So you're in it. It's like training camp, you know, and you're just walking through it and you're fired up. Don't let that intensity put you in a situation where you don't shore up your businesses, your prime, that is your income. And Jade really was all over that. And I would just say, make sure you go, I gotta make sure that I've got those retained earnings set up in my businesses, plural. And if that makes my debt pay off a little longer, it's okay. It's okay. But then I'm going to make up for it, as Jade is saying. So the mindset is, is let's not hurry at the expense of, like, gazelle intensity does not mean gazelle foolishness.

[Jade Warshaw]

Good.

[Ken Coleman]

Right. And I think that. Thank, thank you. I'm getting. This is very exciting. It's rare that I get this. So I, I, that would be my word for you, is I love the intensity, but let's shore up everything else. And, and, and, and then we, we deal with it as it comes. As if. As far as the payoff date, okay, so the fact you guys got these businesses, you want to just keep those things stable, because if you don't and something happens now, you're up a creek. Now you're in big trouble.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

And we're also blowing up our timeline. So. It's not about the timeline. It's about how we finish across the line. So appreciate the call. You're a sharp young man. You guys seem like you're doing great. We'll get Kelsey in real quick. Kelsey, how can we help?

[Caller]

Hello. I like that Gazelle quote. I wish I could write it down, but I'm going to remember that I'll

[Ken Coleman]

tell you it again. Oh, you already got it. Okay, gotcha. Very good. All right, go ahead. We got about two and a half minutes. We'd love to help you. What's the question?

[Caller]

Okay. In regards to prenuptial agreements. I've been listening to you all for less than a year, and I know that you all don't recommend one unless you have big financial disparity which can protect me or us from cousin Eddie's. My boyfriend and I plan to get married. It'll be our second marriage. But I wanted to see what your thoughts are on prenups. If there is no big financial disparity between us. But we have cousin Eddie's.

[Ken Coleman]

What do you mean? Be more specific. What are these cousins or who are. I mean, what are we talking about?

[Caller]

Like, so I'm. I guess I imagine cousin Eddie as being the ones who are looking for money from family members and. Yes.

[Ken Coleman]

And this is not a metaphor. You're telling me you've identified some family members on his side that you think will come asking for money.

[Caller]

Yes. And they. They have before.

[Jade Warshaw]

Will he agree with them? Will your spouse agree with the cousin Eddie?

[Caller]

No.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

You don't need a prenup for that.

[Sponsor/Announcer]

Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

You need balance boundaries.

[Jade Warshaw]

That's just you and your husband having the. Yes. Ken, you and your husband saying, we are not going to loan money to these people.

[Caller]

Okay, yeah, yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

But I mean. I mean.

[Caller]

Yeah, no, he would be on top. He'd be all for that.

So.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, perfect.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. Boy, that is interesting. And good on you, by the way. I've identifying that and bringing it up to him. And so, yeah, complete same page. If we're on the same page, that no matter who. Who it is, because we took a call earlier today. A young man gets a massive job.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes.

[Ken Coleman]

$285,000 salary. Tony tells his mom and dad, as one would do, and they immediately asked him to help pay off debt, pay for his sister's college. So, you know, Jade and Jade, before we took the call, Jade touched on this. He was like, I wouldn't be telling family about all these income things. So it's very interesting. We've seen this today. I love that you guys have figured this out. But, yeah, make sure the husband is absolutely in lockstep. And we don't share any financial information with any of these folks.

[Jade Warshaw]

So I feel like there's a Southern phrase for that, that opportunistic. You always have a Southern phrase, like a vulture on a. On a jackrabbit. I don't know. Something silly.

[Ken Coleman]

I love that you gave that a shot. No one in the history of radio or podcasting or YouTube has ever said that.

[Jade Warshaw]

Coin that phrase.

[Ken Coleman]

So I think you've done something great. Kelsey, thank you so much. I think you've got a lot of wisdom. No prenup here. Just great communication and a fabulous word to learn.

[Jade Warshaw]

No.

[Ken Coleman]

And that will work. Hey, remember, everybody, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the prince of peace, Christ Jesus

[Caller]

Sam.