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Dave Ramsey
Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create actual amazing relationships. Thank you for joining us, America. Ken Coleman Ramsey, personality number one best selling author and host of the brand new runaway hit on the Ramsey network, it's called Front Row Seat, where he does long form interviews with all kinds of famous and big people that are giving you insights into success. It's really, really good. Ken, who's dropping this week?
Ken Coleman
Of course you asked me and I don't even know who's dropping tomorrow. I want to say it might be Rachel Cruz. She's in the hopper. That was a fun conversation. Gary Sinise is already out.
Dave Ramsey
That already came out.
Ken Coleman
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dave Ramsey
And Lieutenant Dan. Yeah.
Ken Coleman
And we have Ethan Cross is been out for a week. It's doing very well. Ethan is a professor and a two time best selling author on Pivot. And it's all about mindset. And so this is all about emotion in the professional setting in your personal life, how do we shift our mental mindset to win? So it's pretty deep stuff.
Dave Ramsey
I can't say the word pivot anymore. After Covid, I get ptsd.
Ken Coleman
Actually, I said that wrong. The name of his book is Shift.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, that's much better. That's a good book. Okay, now I know the book.
Ken Coleman
It's a runaway bestseller called Shift.
Dave Ramsey
Huge. It's a great book. I didn't know what you're talking about.
Ken Coleman
Well, yeah, I used the wrong.
Dave Ramsey
What was the other Covid word? We can't say anymore. Oh, unprecedented. Unprecedented. Oh, my God.
Ken Coleman
And you're right, that was ruined in about three days.
Dave Ramsey
I'm just over both of them those words for the rest of my life. All right, Pamela is in Alabama. Hi, Pamela, how are you?
Pamela
Hey, thanks for having me on the show today.
Dave Ramsey
Sure. What's up?
Pamela
Hey. Well, this question is a mix of financial and family issues. Maybe words of caution for your listeners, Mr. Ramsey. We recently changed our financial advisor. I was with him for 40 years and my husband moved his money over there 13 years ago. A second marriage and we both retired. Myself as recently as 2023. My advisor was my brother. I come from a larger family of seven. There seem to be a lot of unspoken rules. Use your sister as your insurance agent, your brother as your financial advisor, your other siblings for such and such, and I have to admit, I was on autopilot, Ms. Ramsey, for about 40 years. Finishing college, marriage, kids, Growing a career, getting divorced, remarried. You know, life. I simply handed my brother money over time and occasionally looked in on my investments. I do want to be clear. He did no harm. However, he did nothing special either. And now that I'm retired and I've been studying in depth about retirement planning, I think I've got a great deal of ground to make up around tax planning, things like Roth conversions. I got hammered on deferred compensation plans, things like that. He never had those conversations with us. So before I retired, my husband and I requested of him multiple times of a retirement plan. And it just felt like it fell on deaf ears, even tax planning. And then our net worth increased more. Our last parent died, and I got. I don't know how to say this. I wanted some privacy in what our financial position was. So we did eight months of really hard work and research, and we jumped ship. We hired an advisor that's meeting and exceeding all of our needs, and we feel relieved and confident every day where we're going. I mean, financially. Tax planning, charitable plans, legacy. This was not an easy thing for us to do.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, it was very painful.
Pamela
Here's my question.
Dave Ramsey
Very painful.
Pamela
I'm sorry.
Dave Ramsey
Very painful, but very wise.
Pamela
So here's my question. Telling my brother the news went horribly disastrous. He didn't want to hear our reasons. He heaped a flurry of F bombs on us. He announced I was dead to him. Other unpleasantries, even his wife and one of my siblings, piled it on. I mean, I was beyond shocked. And when we hung up the phone, because we live in different states, my husband looked at me and said, I guess we made the right decision. And I said, I guess our money really wasn't our money. And it's been almost a year and virtually no communication from nearly any of my siblings. And I know I had turned down at least one family event because I was concerned I might get attacked there. So question is there a reconciliation here? I mean, our financial life is our lifeline, and we have to do what was right for us. But I hate this family. Risk and fracture. What have you seen in all of your journeys in life?
Dave Ramsey
Wow. I'm sorry. That's so painful. Yeah, well, you did. Obviously, your husband's right, made the right decision, and this all confirms it. Reconciliation, it sounds to me like is up to him. I don't think that ball's on your side of the net.
John
Okay.
Dave Ramsey
You know, he's the one that said, you're dead to me. He's the one that sicced his wife and his sibling on you and those kinds of things. And so, you know, I do a couple things, I just sit back and let it cool. You might consider writing and rewriting and rewriting and rewriting a letter before you send it. I don't think that boundaryless people, people that don't respect boundaries, will ever accept a reason for the boundary. In other words, there's no amount of logic that's going to make him okay. This is not a logic scenario. This is just. Hey, listen, I know you don't. It might sound something like this. I know you don't understand what we did. I wish I could have explained it better. I'm sorry for that. Our goal was not to hurt you. Our goal was to get some privacy and to get a new set of eyes and. And we've done that. But I'm very sorry we hurt you in the process. That was not something we wanted. And anytime that we. I love you. And anytime you want to talk and you know, have a relationship, I'm here. Or just something that's something open handed like that. And you know, and sometimes that changes it. But don't try to get him to be convinced that this was the smartest thing you ever did. It's just simply. This was something I had to do. And I know you don't understand and I'm so sorry. That's simple. Because the more you get into it, the more it picks, the more the pour salt in the wound.
Pamela
Right? Right.
Dave Ramsey
Because basically you're telling him he sucks at his job. Which, by the way, he does.
John
Well.
Dave Ramsey
Well, he does.
Pamela
I mean, I know that was the.
Dave Ramsey
Conclusion you came to anyway, Right? No point in bringing that up. No point in bringing that up. It's just like no is a complete sentence. Okay. I'll give you an example of a similar situation that evokes the same emotions. At Ramsey. We've got 1100 team members and sometimes someone's time here is up. We've warned them, we've talked to them, we've coached them. We've been through a process of unpleasant conversations. And finally their last day is today. We don't have a long conversation. It's a minute and a half.
John
Right.
Dave Ramsey
We've talked about this. And the decision has been made that today's your last day. All the emotions, all the stuff and all that. I understand. But the decision's been made that today's your last day. The less you say, the better. In other words, in those things.
Ken Coleman
Yeah, Pamela, I would say this very quickly. I would have a boundary to protect yourself. But I also wouldn't give him more power than he deserves.
Dave Ramsey
Exactly.
Ken Coleman
In other words, I'd show up at family events, smile and wave, and don't give him power to exclude you when you did nothing wrong. I'd consider that. Now, if it's just crazy wacky, then. Then get away from it.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. Dr. Henry Cloud's book Boundaries would help your mind.
Ethan Cross
Switching banks can be a hassle, and I totally get that. But when Winston and I opened up our Fairwinds account, we were shocked by how quick and easy it was. It just took a minutes online. We didn't have to block off an entire afternoon or track down paperwork. And the next day we got a personal call from a Fair Wind specialist just checking in. I couldn't believe it. When I answered my phone and I was talking to them, I was like, y' all are the nicest people. Now, if you're working hard to save money, get out of debt and build a future, you should have a bank that supports that, not fights it. That's why I recommend Fairwinds. They created these smart checking and savings bundles specifically for Ramsey fans. Plus they have a great app and you have access to over 33,000 fee free ATMs and more than 5,000 shared credit union branches across the country. So you can have access and withdraw your money just like you're used to. No matter where you live, don't settle for a bank that slows down your progress. Make sure you choose one that helps build you up and helps you win with money. Visit Fairwinds.org Ramsey and open your smart bundle today.
Fairwinds
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Dave Ramsey
Insured by the NCUA. John's with us in Oregon. Hey, John. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.
John
Hey, Dave. How you doing?
Dave Ramsey
Better than I deserve. What's up?
John
I have a question for you. I'm in college now and I just. I'm starting my sophomore year. I. My siblings, my parents have been. Took money from me in high school as like borrowing it to supplement their income and then just didn't pay it back. And now they're doing it for my siblings.
Dave Ramsey
How much money did you have in high school?
John
I had. Well, I was making about five to $8,000 a year just working part time and then full time during the summers.
Dave Ramsey
How much money did they take from you?
John
About $3,000 total after. Before I could get my own bank account. And then all my money's in there now.
Dave Ramsey
And you said you're off at school now?
John
Yeah. I'm in college now, so I have my own bank accounts. It's all separate. I'm good.
Dave Ramsey
You're how old? You're how old?
John
I'm 19.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. Wow. I'm sorry. And now that's happening to your little brothers and sisters. Okay. Financial abuse.
John
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. Okay. What's wrong with your parents that's so weird.
John
I mean, I think they, I mean we've had some issues where happened where my mom had an injury that's been working through like a, like a legal case or whatever and stuff and they just, she lost her job and so they've just been running on not much, but like it's okay. You know, I get if, you know, they pay you back in something a month or two or something like that.
Dave Ramsey
But when they spend years, it's really not okay. I mean grown ups don't take kids money. That's just not okay for any reason to borrow or otherwise. That's just wrong. I mean, there's just something wrong with the family script, isn't there?
John
Yeah. So I don't, I'm just wondering your advice because I'm, I'm okay now, but I just want to know what your thoughts because they're, they're smart, they're going to be successful, but you know, when they're trying to get ready to, you know, go into college or get their first car, it's like, you know, how are they supposed to do this? So.
Dave Ramsey
Wow.
Ken Coleman
That'S a tough situation. I'm sitting here thinking through this because they can't try to. Any ideas that I had, and I had two or three pop in my mind about how they could protect their money. But the problem is they live in their house and if they're being abused in that way where they're taking their money, them hiding money from your parents isn't a legitimate solution just because of the tension and all of that and the craziness. So there's not much they can do.
Dave Ramsey
Have you ever talked to your parents about how this made you feel?
John
Yeah. And they just justified it because like, you know, it's either we're gonna put food on the table and like you're gonna eat or like we're gonna, you know, you know, that kind of thing.
Dave Ramsey
That was, I mean, why don't they work?
John
Well, they, they work and they make good money. They just don't, they don't have a budget. They don't.
Dave Ramsey
I mean, what is good money? Because food on the table is not good money. If you have to take it from A teenager? Yeah. They don't have good money.
John
Well, I think they make definitely over 100 grand. That was a couple years ago. I heard it.
Dave Ramsey
So these people are just whacked. They're just whacked. Okay.
Ken Coleman
How old are your siblings?
John
Like, 16 and 17 in high school. So, like, right around the age to get a car and then, you know, saving up for getting out of car, going into college.
Ken Coleman
Are there equally wacky stories that you're not bringing up and we don't have time to cover? But is there a lot of wackiness besides this issue issue for them and your parents?
John
I think just kind of a weirdness around money. You know, we. I was the first one to actually start making money and, like, have, you know, to get a joint bank account as my first account and then just start making money with summer jobs to save for college. And I think just as things were tight, it was like, oh, it's right there. It's so. It's just easy to transfer some over. Hey, we'll pay you back 500 bucks. This 500 bucks. And. And when we get paid or whatever.
Dave Ramsey
So I guess. I mean, you've spoken to them about it. They don't give a rip. They justify it, which is absolutely ludicrous. Typically what some kind of weirdo like this will do, I mean, you have two options. One is just make peace with it and move on with your life. Two is interfere, and that is to call your siblings up and say, hey, if you want to open up a bank account over here, I'll help you open up one, and you can put all your money over here, and I'll do that. You can do that at 19 and, you know, have side of bank. It's not hiding it. It's just saying mom and dad. And if your parents say anything, well, you. You stole all my money. I'm trying to keep you from stealing theirs.
John
Right.
Dave Ramsey
This is what I say. I just say, you know, you're freaking thief.
Ken Coleman
Would they kick your siblings out if this were to happen?
John
I'm not sure. I don't think they would. But it would add a lot of attention to any and all family gatherings we have after that.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah.
Ken Coleman
Yeah. Well, they've already done that.
Dave Ramsey
Let me help you with this. There's a big old elephant with his butt sitting in the middle of your living room. Already y' all are walking around it. Yeah. Acting like it's not there. He's a big sucker. The elephant in the room. You know what I'm talking about, right? That your parents Are thieves. Yeah. There's tension in the room. You've already addressed it. It's just that they don't feel it. That's the only difference. The rest. Everybody else goes, oh, yeah, we kind of watch out for them. It's like the flirty step uncle. I mean, you gotta stay away from Bob, you know. Oh, my God. Just like. No, of course we talk about Bob and we keep Bob away from, you know, I mean, come on, Dave. Sorry, Bob.
Ken Coleman
Call me out on this. Dave, if I'm wrong, there's a boss.
Dave Ramsey
Somewhere really pissed right now.
Ken Coleman
If I were. I'm trying to put myself in your brother's shoes. 16 and 17. If my mom and dad did this to me, and I'm trying to be as honest as I can, I legitimately think that if I confronted them, I'm talking about your siblings and they were still doing it, I think I would have left. I would have gone to family. I would have gone somewhere because I think that's such a breach of trust. It's just so nuts.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, it's really. The lack of integrity here on. The ethics of this are just scummy. So. Yeah. You know, is that extreme?
Ken Coleman
Call me out if I'm wrong. I just try to be.
Dave Ramsey
The thing is, I just, I, you know, I don't know what to do because here's the thing. You're not going to fix them. No, it's. Nothing in this is going to fix them. But denial doesn't fix them either. I know. So I don't know. I like throwing a grenade in the middle of it personally, but that's just because I'm a hillbilly, so I like throwing a grenade in the middle of everything.
Ken Coleman
What would you have done if that scenario happened to you when you were.
Dave Ramsey
Well, I mean, in our culture, we all left every. For a lot of reasons. You know, it's just like, we're getting out of here. You're not welcome. You don't want to be here. I'm going to do some better somewhere else House and, you know, and part of that was just getting the little eaglets out of the nest, you know, that's okay too. But the, you know, no 28 year olds in the basement in our culture, so. But anyway, the poof. Yeah, man, I'm sorry, that's just. God, that's two in a row of these things. Whacked. Family stuff. Yeah. We're just gonna sell Henry Cloud's book all day and yeah, it's an old book, but still selling it, you know. Boundaries. I. John, I'll tell you what I'd like for you to do. I'd like for you to take advice from someone other than us because we're just stirring up trouble here and I don't think that's wise either. So if I were you, I would get with a local pastor there and if you're not plugged into a good church, get plugged into a good church and get some good godly counsel from someone that is a pastoral counsel that just says, okay, what should happen here? I mean, if this were another kind of abuse, it would be against the law and social services would come in. But this is just financial abuse. They're just stealing the money and they don't need it to eat. That's absolute hogwash. If they make 100,000 and they're not choosing food over choosing, stealing their teenager's money, they're not choosing. That's just bullcrap. That's a narcissistic bullcrap line. Whether they're a narcissist, I don't know, but it's a narcissistic line. It's gaslighting. So, yeah, wow. I don't. I hesitate to send the 19 year old in to do battle in this. So. But you know, you can either do nothing and just, you know, talk to your siblings on the side and say, hey, how to hide the money? Or talk to them on the side and just be right up front, say, I'm gonna help them open a bank account because of what you did to me and you've never paid me back. And they can't get a car because you keep taking their money. And then if they're pissed, they're pissed. I mean, so what worse things could happen than pissing off people like this? So somebody needs to do something. But John, I hate to send you into the battle by yourself. So I'd put some counsel in your corner and let them talk through it with you. It's just know from us that we're verifying that this is cray cray. It's nuts. Okay? Let's face it. Health insurance today is more complicated than ever. The system isn't built to help the average person understand and it leaves too many families unprotected. That's why you need my friends at Health Trust Financial. They aren't just brokers. They're trusted health insurance advisors who have been helping families like yours for over 20 years. You don't have to navigate it alone. The experts at Health Trust Financial listen to your needs, work to understand your family situation and budget, then help you choose the health insurance plan that's right for you. That's why they're Ramsey trusted and why we've worked with them for two decades. Look, medical debt is the number one cause of bankruptcy in America today. One hospital visit can wipe out your savings and undo all your hard work. So health insurance isn't optional. It's part of your financial defense plan. Health Trust Financial knows their stuff and they're the only health insurance provider I recommend. So get clear about health insurance plans and get the coverage that's right for you@healthtrustfinancial.com thank you for being with us. We're so glad you're here. If you're tired of living paycheck to paycheck and feeling like you can't get ahead, join one of our free Every Dollar trainings. There are new trainings every week this month, and they're all hosted by one of the Ramsey personalities. We're going to show you how to stick to a budget and even find around $9,560 of margin. That's been the average people get a head start. They find money, quote, laying around that they can put to work towards their baby steps. Boom. Just like that. And you can ask questions during the live Q and A. So it's Rachel Cruze, George Campbell, Jade Washall doing these every week. This month they're free Every Dollar trainings. Did I mention it's free? You can sign up for free@ramseysolutions.com webinar okay, Ken, I got a sidebar because we got two in a row that are tremendous crazy family boundary issues. And so it's fair to state personal finance, the problem with personal finance is people that the people that we find that are successful in their careers, which you work with all the time, like at front row seat and all of that. And the people that we find simultaneously that are successful in their wealth building and that are successful in their spiritual walk and so on, they overcome the people and they embrace the people, the good people. They overcome the bad people and embrace the good people. Everyone has it. Some get more than their share. More of a dose of craziness to start off life coming from a dysfunctional family. And my family put the fun in dysfunctional. Yeah, that one. Yeah. You come from that family. It's a rough start. You know, like that kid there. That was tough. But what I want to point out to our listener base right now is that unless and until you deal with those things, not only between your own ears. But you set healthy relational boundaries that do not allow the takers to interfere with your progress, whether they take your joy, take your hope, or take your money. You don't allow the takers to take advantage of you and to interfere with your progress until you set enough boundaries. I'm going to love you from a distance, about 2 miles. Get your butt out of here. Because you're just nuts. You're negative nanny. Every time I'm around you, all you can do is talk about negative crap. And I need to move in another direction. And so learning to set those boundaries is very painful. But the sooner you set them, the faster your progress begins. And you will not overcome those things unless you put some fences up. You cannot. They are bigger hurdles than any mathematical 401k question you can ever ask me. Any stupid bitcoin idea you've got. Whatever it is you're trying to do with money is not going to work until you put. Learn to deal with the people in your life, and that includes some of you that are dating right now. And you don't need to marry that one. That one's going to be a long life. They're fun right now, but you know in your heart of hearts that one's going to be rough. You're going to spend your whole life dealing with Nutty, and you're going to wake up every morning with Nutty and go to bed every night with Nutty. And that just. That's crud, man. That's a long. Don't marry that one. I'm sorry, but that's the truth. I mean, one of the reasons that I've been able to accomplish the things I've been able to accomplish is my wife's sanity and strength. She adds to value to the whole process every day. She does not cost me emotion, hardly ever. She does not cost me, you know, ridiculous scenarios that I have to deal with while I'm trying to get my freaking work done. And it's one of the things that. And one of the reasons she's got a good life is the same thing, is I do that for her. Add value to her in those areas. I've watched you and Stacy do this for 20 years, 25 years we've known each other, same exact thing. You just can't overcome it. This personal, relational roadblocks. If you don't take, you know, a bulldozer and build some fences, some boundaries, it's just impossible.
Ken Coleman
I'm glad you said to everybody, and I hope you heard Dave, he said it's going to be painful. But here's what successful people do that Dave's talking about. They choose their pain, so it's going to be painful. Both of these phone calls illustrate that there was pain in making the right decision, but there was also more pain in not making the decision the right decision. So choose your pain. And I think that's what successful people do. They go, this is not a win win from an emotional standpoint. But when we take the emotion out of it and acknowledge that this is going to be dirty and nasty and ugly because of somebody else, them being unhealthy, then it makes that painful decision a little easier to make. Choose your pain. Here is the lesson I'm taking from.
Dave Ramsey
What you say, and I agree with you. I mean, it's proactive. Somebody's going to be pissed. So proactively decide who piss off the right people.
Ken Coleman
That's right.
Dave Ramsey
You know, like, you're mad because I'm doing this with my kids. Well, I choose you're mad over my kids dysfunction and being in counseling when they're 30. So I'm doing this with my kids. Screw it. You know, you're okay. You'll make it or you won't make it. I'll choose who will be mad. And like some of you send in hate mail or you post stupid butt stuff in the comments thing. It's like, it's not relevant. I've already chose who I want. If you're who's mad, I chose the right one. You know, that's perfect. And so versus the people that come around, want help, need help, and we can help them and get our arms around them and give them some information and some inspiration and they move forward. That's who I want to spend my energy on in the business here and in what we do. But same thing's true with your family. You're going to choose. Okay, who's going to be mad? My children are my parents because grandmother is a travel agent for guilt trips. And so, mom, we're not gonna be able to spend Thanksgiving there this year having a duck fit, as we call it. Yeah, not sure exactly what. That's what a duck sounds like when they're having a fit, actually.
Ken Coleman
So I'd rather have a peaceful Thanksgiving at the cost of making the family upset than making them happy and being miserable.
Dave Ramsey
Cousin Eddie's doing heroin. Cousin Eddie's not invited to Thanksgiving. Cousin Eddie's pissed. Oh, well, Cousin Eddie's pissed. The heroin addict cousin is pissed. I can deal with that. I can deal with that. I just set a boundary. You're not coming. You're not blowing up my sewer. Looks like Christmas vacation, whatever it is. Right. But you know, if you got cousin Eddie and you have to piss off somebody, Cousin Eddie's not having access to my children. Okay, that was funny in the movie. It is not funny in real life, okay? And so you got to decide these things ahead of time. And the problem is, it is painful because it's oftentimes people who you wish would would be cheering for you. Sure. Friends, family, whatever they are, but they're not. And it's like, okay, second grade teacher that said, I'm never going to mount anything. You don't get a vote. Actually, that happen, you know? And you know, third grade teacher who said you could be anything you want to be. Oh, you get a vote. Yeah. And actually had her here at the building a while back and honored her because we love teachers that don't mail it in. And so, you know, it's just. Golly folks. So. But it's a. What I'm trying to point out is I don't think people realize how heavy the correlation is between your ability to manage relationships and set boundaries with relationships and whether or not you actually end up with any money. That's right. Very few people build wealth until they learn to say no to the right people. Till they learn to piss off the right people. Your brother, who's managed your money for 40 years and did a bad job. Oh, well, you're pissed. I can deal with that. Your sister who got her real estate license three weeks ago. No, you're not selling my house. You don't even know how to spell house. We're not doing it. Somebody else is selling my million dollar house. Not a newbie. Well, I'm your sister. I know. This is why we're not doing this. One of the other reasons we're not doing this. Well, I'm going to be mad. Well, good, you're going to be mad. But I'm going to not screw up a million dollar transaction because you don't know what the flip you're doing. This is stupid, but this is the kind of stuff you have to deal with all through your life, right? That's right. And if you don't deal with this stuff, you end up with a horrible life and no money and no pattern of success anywhere in any part of your life. So these things are inextricably tied to each other. They're woven together. So it's why this stupid stuff ends up on this show. It Starts sounding like Jerry Springer sometimes. This is the Ramsey Show. If your phone bill is more than $25 a month, either you're okay setting money on fire or you're just not paying attention. That's because the big three mobile providers have hidden fees and so called customer service that ignores you when things go wrong. Boost Mobile is different. Boost gives you unlimited talk, text and data for just $25 a month. That's it. No games, no junk fees, no oops, your price just went up. And they've got a 30 day money back guarantee just in case you decide you love paying way more somewhere else. So switch now@boostmobile.com Ramsey restrictions apply. See boostmobile.com Ramsey for details. Andrew is in Tennessee. Hey Andrew, how are you doing?
John
Pretty good. How are you doing?
Dave Ramsey
Better than I deserve. What's up?
John
I was calling to try to get some advice from you. I am thinking about going back to college to get my architectural degree and it's a little late in life. I mean I'm 40 years old, but I was gonna see what your thoughts on it were going back to school that late in life if it's a wise decision or not.
Dave Ramsey
Why?
John
Because it's expensive?
Dave Ramsey
No, no. Why, why would you go be an architect at what? What are you doing now and what's your dream?
John
Well, before what I did before what I do now, I was in the drafting and design business for 20 years almost designing.
Dave Ramsey
What were you designing? Houses or commercial or what?
John
Millwork and steel buildings, you know, different things like that.
Ken Coleman
So what would the. Here's the simpler, here's the simpler question.
John
Okay?
Ken Coleman
What would this architecture degree allow you to do that you cannot do now? And how much would you make versus what you make now?
John
Well, what I make now, it would just add on to what I make. We own rental property. And that's what I've done for the last couple of years. It's makes pretty good money.
Ken Coleman
So what would you make? So how much more would you make? Let's fast forward and assume you have the degree right now. How much more would it allow you make annually because of the architecture degree?
John
Probably 150,000. I mean 100, 150,000 extra.
Dave Ramsey
Wait, wait, wait, wait a minute. Something's wrong. So you're currently managing an entire portfolio of real estate and that's what you live off of? Is that what you said?
John
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
And how much is all this real estate worth?
John
We bring in about half a million a year.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, and how much is all this real estate worth?
John
We've had offers of like 4 million for it a couple of times.
Dave Ramsey
So it's an. It, it's a like one apartment or something or what?
John
No, it's a. It's a mobile home park. There's 54 homes.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, so you own and manage 54 mobile homes. You make a half million on them and the value is about 4 million.
John
Yeah, okay.
Dave Ramsey
All right. That's what I'm trying to bring home.
John
We don't bring home.
Dave Ramsey
This has nothing to do with architecture whatsoever. So if you quit managing this, how does it get managed?
John
I'm not going to. Won't quit, man.
Dave Ramsey
You can't do two full time jobs. The idea of a full time job is.
John
No, we would still own it. I would just hire someone in.
Dave Ramsey
That's what I asked. Okay, so you bring a manager in so that you could go be an architect.
John
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. And now what do you want to build? What do you want to build as an architect? What do you want to draw?
John
Hotels and houses.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, and you. Hotels that be helpful houses. You don't need an architectural degree to be draw houses. I'm living in a house that's millions of dollars in value. It was drawn by a guy who had an architectural degree.
John
But it has to be stamped by.
Dave Ramsey
An architect, not houses.
John
In the state of Tennessee.
Dave Ramsey
In the state of Tennessee. I just built one, honey.
John
Oh, I thought you had to have an architect actually stamp off on the drawings to.
Dave Ramsey
Not a house.
Ken Coleman
What do you, what do you pay yourself? I want to get to the cost. So you said this is so expensive. And should I spend the money? Let's go to what you pay yourself. What do you pay yourself?
John
We make. Me and my wife together make about 100,000 a year.
Ken Coleman
Okay, and what is the. I'm looking at the costs of in state schools in Tennessee. Nobody cares where you got your architect degree from. Tennessee State. You know, you're looking at an average of $8,300 per year. That's not a whole lot of money. The University of Tennessee average tuition is 13. Now that doesn't include all the fees. But as you're looking at this, how much money are you thinking you gotta spend to get this degree?
John
The school I've currently enrolled in and done a summer semester at, Academy of Art and it's in California. It's the only online architecture school.
Ken Coleman
What's it setting you back per year? What's the cost?
John
It's going to be $150,000, but I'm going to do all five years. That's not including Interest.
Ken Coleman
I think it's too much money. Yeah, you don't need to spend that for that. It's not a good value exchange.
Dave Ramsey
You got a four year degree in architecture from the state of Tennessee at University of Tennessee Knoxville for 13,000 a year.
John
That's for the whole year.
Dave Ramsey
For the year, yeah.
John
Not for a semester.
Dave Ramsey
That's for the year.
Ken Coleman
For the year. So this is not a good value exchange.
Dave Ramsey
You're getting ripped. Okay, so two things. Two things. One is yes. Yes. I want you to go get in the business of drawing things for other people. It's a passion that's inside your stomach. I love that. Okay, I want you to go do that. The two questions we have that we want you to solve for after you get off of here is one. What is the least expensive and fastest way I can get the. This. Get what I need to go do that? And then question number two is, do you really need an architectural stamp to do what you want to do?
John
Well, if I'm gonna draw like hotels.
Dave Ramsey
Or if you're gonna draw a commercial. If you're gonna draw a large commercial, you're gonna need an architectural stamp, I can tell you that.
John
Right? Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, but you're also competing with huge architectural firms for that same job, right?
John
Well, the. In my area that I live in, there's actually not many architects in this area. There's like three.
Ken Coleman
But here's what I'd want to know.
Dave Ramsey
Then there's not many hotels being built, right?
Ken Coleman
There's some evidence there.
John
There's what?
Ken Coleman
There's evidence that there's only three. I'd find out why there's only three. In other words, does the market can it.
Dave Ramsey
There's not enough, not enough economic activity to support more than that.
John
Well, I'm in Pigeon Forge.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah.
John
So there's plenty of economic.
Dave Ramsey
The point is, is that people obviously are not using Pigeon Forge architects to build the stuff. They're using architects out of Nashville, out of Knoxville and out of Atlanta and Chicago and whatever else, depending on which company is coming in to build the thing.
John
Right.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. So, you know, what you've got to do is get in to figure out exactly a what is needed to do what you want to do. And I'm questioning whether you need an architect, architectural stamp. If you really want to go that far. If it's necessary. If it is necessary. If the answer is yes, then figure out the least expensive way to do it. And if you're in Pigeon Forge, honey, go down to Knoxville, knock this thing out. I mean, you're an hour away. Just commute your little butt down there and get a four year degree and take it all in three years. You're like a grown up and stuff. You're not trying to play beer pong, you're just getting the degree. Okay, so just go knock it out as fast as you possibly can and find out if they have any kind of adult learning for the architectural school. But the University of Tennessee's architectural school's got a great reputation, by the way, just as a side note, and I've used two or three architects on projects that graduated from there and they all were excellent in their knowledge base. So if you do need it, that's the way to do it online for 150 grand versus 50 grand and no, no, not doing that.
Ken Coleman
Yeah, especially given that you told Dave and I as we questioned what your process was that you were going to continue to, you were going to hire someone to manage the trailer park. So in this case, now I can do a similar version of this and still manage to do school. You don't need an online school in California to the tune of 30 grand.
Dave Ramsey
Go ahead and put your manager in now and haul your little butt down to Knoxville. That'll work. Yeah.
Ken Coleman
But I gotta mention this to our, to our greater audience. There's four qualifying questions that I wrote about in from paycheck to purpose. When you're looking to get qualified, here's four questions you have to answer and it comes up with a very simple, doable plan and it's not intimidating. First question is, what do I need to learn? This is, is there a degree that I must have to do the thing I want to do? If not, there's certif, there's certificate programs, there's boot camps. So the first question is, what do I need to learn? Second question is what do I need to do? What experience will I need to get to eventually do the thing I want to do that tells me where on the ladder I need to enter? Third question is how much is it going to cost? Get the best options. Get all the options. The fourth question is based on cost and what I got to learn and do. What's my expectation? How long will it take to get where I want to go? Those four questions, when you answer, give you a clear path that is not.
Dave Ramsey
Scary to do and that will keep you from spending $250,000 on a master's degree in social work to make 38,000.
John
Right.
Dave Ramsey
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Dave Ramsey
Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create actual amazing relationships. Ken Coleman Ramsey personality number one best selling author and host of Front Row Seat, a runaway hit on the Ramsey Network. She's my co host today. Vincent's in Ohio or Idaho. What did I say? Idaho. Hey Vincent, what's up?
John
Hey, how we doing guys? Hopefully your Monday's treating you well.
Dave Ramsey
It is, sir. How can we you help?
John
The question I have is I just recently joined the Air National Guard and with that I get a fifty thousand dollar bonus. So my question is what? I'm thinking of investing it. Right. I don't want to blow it on a nice new car, you know, like a lot of people do. I don't. I want to invest it and make my money work for me. What would you guys recommend me doing with it?
Dave Ramsey
Well, thank you sir for serving your country. I appreciate it.
John
Oh yeah, for sure.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. How old are you?
John
I am 22 and I just recently graduated from the university.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. All right. And are you going to be full time guard or is this just.
John
No, I'll just be part time. Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
And they have a $50,000 sign on now.
John
Yeah. Isn't that crazy?
Dave Ramsey
That's pretty incredible. That's awesomeness.
John
I know it is.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. Okay, so cool. So what's your career going to be?
John
So my career, it's kind of like a smaller one. It's called industrial organizational psychology. Basically what want to do is apply like statistics and stats to be able to go into like businesses and be able to improve them. Right.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. You just graduated school, you got the job.
John
No, I don't have a job yet since I'll be going out to like basic training and everything. So right now I'm just kind of in like la la land. I'll ship out in like a week or Two. And then when I come back, I have to get a master's degree first. Well, I don't know if I have to, but.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. Okay. So if you come back and you get a job and you're sustainable, you won't need this 50,000 to live, is my point.
John
Yeah, exactly. No, I'm not. I'm not banking on the 50k.
Dave Ramsey
I was just trying to verify we don't need it to eat. Okay. And the. You have any debt?
John
Zero debt.
Dave Ramsey
Cool. Good for you. What are you driving?
John
I have in like a 2007 Camry. It's treating me well. Decent mileage, no complaints.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. All right. I'm going to put 10 with that and upgrade your car. I appreciate you not complaining, but your car sucks. Okay? So let's.
John
I mean, I do want to. I mean, I think I'll put a little bit towards my car, but I think I want. Like, this is my idea and obviously you're the expert. I want to put most of it into like an investment. Right. Like a neutral.
Dave Ramsey
I would love for you to do that. Okay. But I want you to create a sustainable lifestyle so you keep your freaking hands off of it. And if you're driving a 2007 and it blows a gasket, three weeks after you do your investment, you're going to start cashing out the investment. Do a stupid bad car deal.
John
Yeah, I mean, I also.
Dave Ramsey
That's what I'm trying to keep you from doing. Okay. So, yeah. So I. If I were you, I would invest 40 and I'd put 10 into a car if I woke up in your shoes. And I'd put it into good growth stock mutual funds. Sit down with a smartvestor pro in your area. You can find those at Ramsey Solutions. They have the heart of a teacher. And you will begin your financial investing education by sitting with a pro that can teach you about mutual funds, how they work, what the track records are, and they love the good ones. And we only let the good ones into our program. We don't endorse the bad ones. Okay. But they love sitting with a young person because they know the power of compound interest and they know that. 40. You said you're 22?
John
Yeah, 22.
Dave Ramsey
So when you're 29, that's 80. When you're 36, it's 160. When you are 43, it's 320 if you don't touch it.
John
Yeah. Leave it until I retire. Right?
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. It's going to be millions of dollars at retirement if you Just keep doing the formula I was just doing. Now that's the trick. Now, you may want to use some of it someday to buy a house. You may want to use some of it someday. That's okay. But let's learn. Let's start the learning process. Because you have the seeds of greatness in you. Because you're willing to ask, at 22 years old, doing something smart instead of going and buying a brand new F150, which you can't buy. 150 for 50 grand. I'm sorry, my bad. But anyway, buying a stupid car. Yeah.
Ken Coleman
I would just add Vincent. I would also do the homework on do you need the master's degree because you were unsure. That's okay. But let's figure out, do we actually need a master's degree to do the work that you want to do? If the answer is yes, how soon do we need a it? Are there rungs on the ladder to that ultimate role that I can climb without the master's degree? Think this thing through. Don't assume that I got to go get it now when you may not need to get it now. And also do your homework on where I can get it from the absolute cheapest, because I sing this note all the time. Nobody who is your future customer is going to ask you where you got your master's degree. So make a smart decision there as well.
Dave Ramsey
Let me help you there. Most of the time, not even gonna ask if you got a master's degree, right? That's right. Only thing, we got 1100 people working here. The only thing we're concerned about is can you do the job? If the master's degree is an indication that you know something, that's good. But sometimes it's an indication you know nothing. So you just weren't smart enough to stop going to school. So, you know, we need to get into why you need this and what it is and how it applies. And Industrial Organizational Management. It does not require a master's degree to be successful. It might to get in the door with certain Fortune 500, but to do the actual job, the knowledge base is not needed. It's like an mba, a Master's in business. It's a great degree. There's nothing wrong with it. But you can do the job of business, running a business, understanding business, building business acumen. Without an MBA, I don't have one. And I run a $300 million company. So it's very possible it can be done. You gotta have a couple brain cells to rub together, and then you'll figure it out. But this idea that somehow degrees are your deliverance is Ken's point. We've gotta get away from as a society teaching people that the answer to everything is go get another degree. Because that's $1.7 trillion in student loan debt with people that spent $250,000 to get a degree in left handed puppetry. And now they're puppetry, and now they're a barista. And they are trying to figure out how student loan debt forgiveness works. And it doesn't work. So it's a problem when people just go get degrees that they don't need. Especially if you're borrowing money to do it, it makes it even worse. So it's a big issue. The documentary that was award winning that we did a few years ago, you can now watch it free on YouTube. It's called borrowed Future. It gets into in detail what is needed. And we're not against a four year degree. We don't hate colleges and universities. I hate what they charge because of some of the stupid butt stuff they build on campus. I hate that. But you know what I hate? What I don't want is people believing lies that lead them down a trail. And the lie is you have to have a degree to do this and you don't. Exactly.
John
Right?
Dave Ramsey
Yeah.
Ken Coleman
And the question is, is a degree the only way or is it the best way? That's a two part question if the answer is no to either one. Folks, listen, there's some great news. A lot less money and a lot less time to get qualified. But you've been sold this bill of goods, that the degree is always the grade A best option.
Dave Ramsey
Well, simply enough, my life is bad. The answer is go back to college.
Ken Coleman
That's right. Like that's gonna solve it.
Dave Ramsey
That's gonna make your life worse. Sam, I've been doing this show for over 30 years and some of the saddest calls I have taken are from situations that are completely preventable.
Ethan Cross
Yeah. And what's so hard is I feel like one of those, especially the ones that I'm like, oh, it's terrible. People that call in and their spouse has passed away suddenly and they don't have life insurance. We actually took took a question of a lady and she had three kids pregnant and husband didn't have life insurance. And I'm like, I can't even imagine. Or even if it was opposite.
John
Right.
Ethan Cross
If a mom passed away, there's a dad with kids and trying to figure out how am I going to afford child care. How do I outsource some stuff that maybe she was doing? And it just takes the grief and the sadness of something like a sudden death to a whole new level. Like when you have to think through, how am I going to pay my.
Dave Ramsey
Bills, how am I gonna get it next week? Yeah.
Ethan Cross
In the middle of all that grief, like, it's just.
Pamela
It is.
Ethan Cross
It's terrible. And so life insurance is the one thing, especially as a mom with three little kids that I'm like, so big on for people to get because it's inexpensive. Zander is the place that Winston and I actually get all of our life insurance. And we keep re upping it because I'm like, I just want it there. Like, there's something about that safety of knowing that you have money if something.
Dave Ramsey
Suddenly happens and it doesn't cost much because Zander shops among a gazillion different companies, it doesn't cost much. You just have to admit that someday you're not going to be here. You got to say it out loud and you got to say, I'm going to say I love you to my family by taking care of them and taking the time to put this stuff in place. The cost of stinking pizza there really is.
Ethan Cross
So that is one thing to do, to say I love you to your family.
Dave Ramsey
So we've used Zander for all of our family's needs for insurance for many years, including, of course, term life insurance. To get a free quote, go to 800-356-4282. That's 800-356-4282. Or go to Zander. Kanoa is with us in Phoenix. Hi, Kanoa. How are you.
John
Doing? Good, Dave. How about yourself?
Dave Ramsey
Better than I deserve. What's up?
John
Hey. So me and my wife are currently on baby step 3B and we're trying to see what our next step should be. So right now we're able to save about 40,000 a year, give or take. And we're trying to decide, should we save for two years and then buy with 20% down to avoid PMI at a 15 year fixed, or should we just keep renting for the next seven years and then just pay for a house outright in cash?
Dave Ramsey
What's your household income?
John
About 150,000, give or take.
Dave Ramsey
What do y' all do?
John
I'm in sales and she's in social media marketing.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, so your seven years assumed your household income would be staying at 150.
John
Yes.
Dave Ramsey
Which is not true because obviously you're gonna. Your income is gonna go up during seven Years.
John
I would hope so.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, I would hope so, too. Otherwise we got other problems. Yeah, so. So probably looking at five years. So how old are you guys?
John
I am 24. She's 22.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. So when she's 27 years old, you pay cash for a house. And when you're 29 years old, you pay cash for a house. Or in two years we put 20% down.
John
Yeah, okay.
Dave Ramsey
That's what we're laying out here. So the answer is neither one of these are horrible options. None of these are in the stupid column. None of these are in the I'm going to yell at you, don't do something stupid. Please, please, please column. Okay? Very smart choices that you proposed in both cases. And the answer is whichever one you would like to do. That's the answer. Because they're both smart. Now the. And I will tell you this. I am bound by a. This is the only answer on the Ramsey show that I give. That is not what I would do, okay? Because I do not borrow money ever, for anything ever again, period. No matter what. So I would have personally, Sharon Ramsey, Dave Ramsey. We'd have one option and that's the five year plan in. And we'd turn it into a four year plan because we'd work like maniacs because we'd be so pissed we didn't have a house. But all that, right? I mean, we would just go crazy. But that, that's what we do and what we have done throughout our lives since we went broke and decided that the borrower is really slave to the lender and we really don't borrow money anymore now. So I don't have a choice. That's. That's what I. But that's a decision that I made based on my understanding of scripture and the pain that we went through when we borrowed money. It is the one thing on this show again that I don't tell people they have to do. Other than that I never borrow money for a car. I'll just yell at you, don't borrow money for a car. Stupid. Okay? Ride a bicycle before you borrow money for a car. It's just dumb, okay? You want to be middle class? Get a car payment. You'll be middle class the rest of your stupid life. Okay? Just don't do that. You know, there's some stuff like that that I'm just going to hold you to and hold me to and hold everybody to just because it falls in the smart column. The other one's in the D column now. Buying a house and you outline Their exact Ramsey Way. 20% down if you can do it is preferable because you avoid private mortgage insurance and on 15 year fix where the payments no more than 4th of your take home pay. You just recanted back to me. Exactly what we teach. So it's obvious you've been studying it and you knew that that was the answer I would give you. So that's perfect. If you do that, you are obviously borrowing money, which I can't do. But I still don't yell at people for doing that. I don't think it's dumb. Is the other way better? Yeah. Yeah. I think never borrowing money against better. That's why I chose to do it. But I'm not going to yell at you for being dumb and doing that because it's what we teach and what we've taught here for years. It's the only time the debt comes up the only time the debt comes up on this show in 30 years that we've said it's okay. And with these very strict guidelines to where you turn around and get the house paid off as fast as possible.
Ken Coleman
Yeah. I put myself back into their shoes. And if I had it to do all over again, and we were smart with our first home, we didn't buy something that was too expensive. We went pretty modest. But if I had it to do all over again and I could get the entire payment in five years, I'd absolutely rent.
Dave Ramsey
Especially when you're in your early 20s.
Ken Coleman
Yeah. Freedom that early in life, financially, emotionally. To have no house payment, I would definitely take that choice.
Dave Ramsey
Keep in mind, folks, the social pressure to do otherwise is everywhere.
Ken Coleman
Would be massive.
Dave Ramsey
Everyone's get a house. Get a house. Oh, you're renting. Oh, like. Like you're going to hell if you're a renter. You know, it's like. It's a salvation issue. Oh, my God. It's just the. It's. Oh, you're horrible. You're dumb. Oh, oh, oh, oh. And these are all broke people making these noises. Yeah. Doug's in Allentown, Pennsylvania. Hi, Doug. What's up?
John
How are you guys doing today?
Dave Ramsey
Great, man. How can we help that?
John
That's great. I have a question regarding life insurance. I have a term life insurance policy through the VGLI. It's a $50,000 payment or a $50,000 benefit. And I pay $300 annual on it. I also have. What is the VGLI Veterans Group Life insurance.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, okay. Didn't recognize the initials. Okay. All right. Thanks.
John
That's okay. I also have a Whole life policy. Now, I'm going to be 60 this year. And my mom got this policy for me when I was five years old, and she's been paying on it. And then I eventually took it over and I've been paying on it ever since. It has a death benefit of $11,350.
Dave Ramsey
Like a family pet.
John
Yeah, exactly. No kidding. It's got $7,000 in total assets. Okay. With. With a taxable gain of about $3,300.
Dave Ramsey
No, I doubt that. Okay, who told you that?
John
I call. I call New York Life. I called them and asked them what the taxable gain was.7 thousand dollar total assets. It's got 3300 taxable gain, which means.
Dave Ramsey
You guys have only put $4000 in this in your entire life.
John
Basically, Yes. I pay $129 a year for that policy. And it has $10,000 death benefit.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. All right, so if you take out seven, if they, if you die, they're going to give your beneficiary $11,000 check. They're going to keep the 7,000. Correct. So you have $4,000 worth of insurance.
John
So my question is.
Dave Ramsey
So you have $4,000 worth of insurance.
John
No, no, no, no, no. The actual Death benefit is 11,000.
Dave Ramsey
I know, honey, but there's seven in there. That's your money. They're going to keep that. So they're only giving you. They're. They're going to. They're going to give you your 7 and $4,000 for 11.
John
Okay.
Dave Ramsey
7 and 4 is 11.
John
Correct. Okay, so my question is, I have about $20,000 in debt, credit card and a personal loan, trucks paid for. Now, that doesn't include my mortgage. Should I cash this out?
Dave Ramsey
Yes.
John
And pay off some of my debt?
Dave Ramsey
Yes. For God's sakes, yes.
John
Okay, that's. That's what I was thinking also. So I just. I just wanted to hear what you thought about it.
Dave Ramsey
You have a savings account of $7,000 that when you die, they keep it.
John
Exactly.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. Somehow that doesn't work for me.
John
Okay.
Dave Ramsey
It's pretty. It is that simple. And so it's how bad this product is. And New York Life talked this family into keeping this for 40 years like it's a family pet. And not only did they. Not only did his sweet little mama buy it and get screwed by New York Life, but on top of that, she handed this piece of crap product, this turd wrapped in a box to her son and said, I passed this to my son as if it was the family bible or Something. It's unbelievable, the emotions tied to this crap. Yes. Cash it in, honey, as fast as you possibly can. And run from that company as far as you can run a company that would do that. Oh, my God. But this is why they have tall buildings and you live in small houses. Think about in the old days. What was the skylines in the average city? The average skylines was banks and life insurance companies. That was where all the money was. And who gave them that money? Santa Claus? No. Your mama? Your daddy? Your grandma, when she bought you that policy, $11,000 at a time. We screwed America.
John
Sam.
Dave Ramsey
Do you know that 7 out of 10Americans die without a will? That just, just that kind of fits? Because 78% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck. So people suck with money. So that just kind of solves that, right? I mean, it kind of fits, but it just blows your mind to think that 7 out of 10Americans die and let the state decide what happens to their kids. If you have minor children and you both die and you don't have a will, the Children's Services decides. That's a dumb butt idea. Do you not love your kids? I mean, you don't even need money to need a will. If you're 18, you need a will. Get your will. Howard Hughes died with two and a half billion dollars in 1976. Almost ten years later, they settled. His estate didn't have a will. 600 people put in a claim. He had cousins he didn't know he had. Apparently he had people that he loved that he didn't know he loved. Who knew. They came out of the woodwork, right? No will. So everybody lined up like it was a lotto ticket. 22 people ended up getting some of the money almost 10 years later. You know who got most of the money? Delaware. Delawares. Yeah. You know what Delawares is? Yeah, right. You know, that's who got the. So you need a will. So August is create a Will month. Who knew? Who cares? You need a will. You need a will. And so here's what I want you to do. Take five minutes, take a quick quiz@ramseysolutions.com will quiz. It's free. Click the link in the description if you're listening and we can help you. You figure out exactly what type of will. If you can do a quick easy one, like with Mama Bear legal forms, or if you've got a complicated estate and you need a lawyer, we'll walk you through that. But either way, you need a will. The people you love will Hate you. If you die and make them untangle your mess, they will want to dig you up and kill you again. If you die without a will, I mean, it's such a dadgum disaster. Don't do this. Jonathan's in Miami. Hi, Jonathan. How are you?
John
How are you doing?
Dave Ramsey
Good. How can we help?
John
I'm doing well. Yeah. So just a question. My fiance and I were both in our 30s, and we're coming up finally in our career, and we're both about $700,000 in debt together. And we're wondering, you know, after about, say, a year of saving and paying our loans and 14 years of training, are we allowed to kind of of start living our life finally? Like, by getting a house and whatnot?
Dave Ramsey
Wow. So what in the world do you do for a living.
John
Position?
Dave Ramsey
I was hoping. Okay, so tell me. This household income is huge.
John
Yes, it should be. It will be huge.
Dave Ramsey
What is it now?
John
Right now? Right now we're both in between our training and are actually. And starting our position.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, okay. So you're just coming out of residency?
John
We're coming out of fellowship, yes.
Dave Ramsey
Out of fellowship. Okay. So when will you. When will you get the big boy job?
John
We won't start till next month.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. When you start, what will the two of you be making?
John
Both combined, about 900.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. All right.
John
Pre tax, I would say.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. Jonathan, I. So you guys, you've been in school your whole life.
John
I don't know anything else but a test.
Dave Ramsey
And now you're gonna make a million dollars a year as a return on that investment. Congratulations. That's amazing. I'm so proud of you.
John
Thank you so much.
Dave Ramsey
And you're the kind of doctor I want. One that actually knows what the flip they're doing. Thank you. That's pretty incredible. So you're not gonna like my answer, but I will explain it to you. Okay. As if it were a. As if the patient had a prognosis and we needed to give him a treatment plan. Okay. This patient, you and your wife are a couple of things I know about you just based on your story. I'm 100% sure both of you are very bright. Dumb people can't do what you all have done. Okay. The other thing I know about you that you maybe have not admitted to yourselves, but I'm sure of, is that you know how to delay pleasure for a greater good. You can suffer long periods of time for a. An excellent result if you believe the result is there. You have that emotional maturity, that spiritual ability that most people who can't make it to Friday. You made it till 30. Work and work and work and work for tomorrow. Work and work and work and work for tomorrow. Work and work and work and work for tomorrow. That's delaying pleasure. You follow me here. You have that muscle built beautifully and I'm going to try to beg you to use that muscle just at least one more time. 900,000 minus 600,000 is 300,000. I'm going to ask you to live on 300,000 your first year and be debt free before you buy a house and before you buy a new Beamer or two. By the way.
John
No cars whatsoever.
Dave Ramsey
Well, there's a thing called duck that we have observed in my world. A thing we call Doc itis. Doc itis is you've been holding your breath through grad school, through med school, through residency, through fellowship, and when you finally get the big job, you exhale and it looks like consumer purchases at the wazoo. That's what it looks like and that's doc itis. You've been holding your breath so long to ring the bell to get the prize that when you finally get it, you do stupid on steroids for about two years. And it takes people in my world about 10 years to clean up the mess you made for you, even though you make really good money. So I'm trying to get you to tap in. You have this unbelievable ability. Not only are you smart, but you have the ability to delay pleasure. That's an emotional maturity factor and you've got the ability to do that. And if you will clear this debt before you start living your life like buying a house and get that whine out of your voice like you were whining like a four year old when you Can I now get a house? Please, daddy? Get that out of your voice and go finish this like a man and finish the mess you made, clean it up. And then you're gonna be so stinking rich and be able to own any house, any car you want to own. You make a million dol a year with no payments and no debt of any kind. You are. You're going to have so much money and such a great life. And that's what you've been promising yourself while you went through all these sacrifices. And I'm asking you to do it for one more year. Live like you're in residence here in fellowship for one more year and use all of this fabulous income. Clear the debt in one year. Did I make a sale?
John
It makes total sense, okay? It's not easy.
Dave Ramsey
It's not easy because you've been. You've been waiting all this time. You've been waiting to get here. Now you're finally here in this goober on the podcast is telling you not to do this. Right. I don't blame you. I mean, it's a. It's a normal human emotion. But dude, you guys, are you, the both of you, you're a power couple.
Ken Coleman
How stressful is this work going to be on a scale of 1 to 10, what you know about it, Your.
John
Work, your work, it'll probably be seven to eight maybe.
Ken Coleman
Okay, now I want you to think about the added stress. If you do what most doctors do and they live high on the hog coming out of college and all this and grad school and the whole nine med school. And just imagine the stress of the job plus the stress of the debt. If you make no headway. Just seriously sit with that over the next three days. Do some research. Read stories about doctors that are just overwhelmed by debt. Get a picture of what Dave and I are talking about. We've seen it. Peace and Imagine having peace and no stress over money. You got a stressful enough of a job.
Dave Ramsey
Hey, 900k. How much signing bonus you're getting?
John
Sign on is about 20. Not much.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, okay. All right. Just a big.
John
So they don't necessarily.
Dave Ramsey
I'm just curious which specialization I'm gastro. And what about her?
John
And she's pulmonology, so I'm pretty sure she's the smarter one out of the two of us.
Dave Ramsey
I. I think both of you. I think both of you gonna be okay. Dude.
John
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
I'm so proud of y'.
John
All.
Dave Ramsey
Well done. Y' all are amazing. Absolutely amazing. Yeah. If you'll just slow down a half a notch and do this right, it's gonna relieve stress, anxiety. You're gonna be working with, be able to work on the work rather than work on the Sam the Ramsey Show Question of the day is brought to you by. Why Refi defaulted Private student loans can wreck your peaceful of mind, your finances, even your relationships. Why Refi offers hope with custom refinancing based on your unique situation and ability to pay for private student loans are gone sideways. Visit why refi.comramsey today that's the letter y r e f y.com ramsey not in all states.
Ken Coleman
Today's question comes from Andrew in Michigan. I own a small business which has grown to 10 employees plus my wife and my sister. One of our growing pains has been our manager who has been with us for two years. At times he shines and is excellent and proactive. Other times he does random things like borrowing small amounts from the tips, hiding small checking errors, and lying about dumb mistakes. We've had numerous conversations about these lapses in judgment. Should we fire him or give him one more chance? You know, again, I don't have enough details here to say why I would give him one more chance. It feels like we've had numerous conversations and so numerous at this point. We've not seen any behavior change. And what's tough is, is that this is somebody who carries a lot of water, sounds like he shines in a lot of areas, but in an area that is a legitimate red flag where you've talked to him multiple times, and it's not changing. Yeah, I don't think one more chance is necessary. Unless you have not communicated that this is, in fact, now the last chance, we don't have this conversation ever again. This is a tough decision emotionally at times, but you have to separate the emotion from maybe your fears of what would happen if this person, a high performer, leaves. But ultimately, you got to do what is right, and you've felt like this is a problem. You're right. This is a character issue, and it will turn into something bigger if you don't get rid of it.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. I mean, we coach a lot of restaurant folks in our small business program, entree leadership. And I'm not a restaurant person, but my understanding is most restaurants with what you're talking about here, at the end of the day, the tips are. Some people either put them in a pool or they are. You know, each server keeps their own tips for the night. But if they put them in a pool and split them up among the servers and the busboys or whatever, and then the manager is taking money out of that, he's stealing money from your other employees. That's not something you need to give grace to. There's not a single person that works in that restaurant that thinks this guy's awesome. He's stealing from them, and they know it. The servers are a lot of things, but they carry heavy trays, and they know where their tips went. I can tell you that. Okay. They work their butts off, their feet hurt, their back hurts. When they go home, they want to know where their tips went. And my manager took my tips. What do you do? You can't really go back and go, well, my manager took my tips. Who are you going to confront? Yeah, let me tell you, everyone in the place is going to cheer when you fire this guy. He's stealing their tips. It's not real hard for me to figure out. So I'm a little. I'm not quite as easy going as Ken is on this. You don't have to be mean to him or anything. But when someone has steals from the tips, hides small checking errors. Is that code for embezzlement? What is hide small checking errors mean? Really? Okay. Like he doesn't know how to do this stuff and lying about dumb mistakes. Yeah, Yeah. I. I think you have serious integrity issues with this individual and you've got him in leadership. And so you've had enough.
Ken Coleman
You've had enough conversations.
Dave Ramsey
I've had enough just reading this. He's gone. I'd fire him right now. I mean, I'd be nice about it, but we give people warnings around here, and we will talk to them, help them change behaviors and do things. There's a couple things we don't. Okay. Right. You know, one of them is you steal. I don't really need to renovate. I mean, I don't need to spend time rehabbing a theater. That's what I need to work on because I gotta look over my shoulder all the time and I'm giving them my money to work here. So now you're done the day. You know, I just. I just. I thought I would get. Put it back later. You know what? Yeah. You're just gone. Okay. And the other one was, you know, we find, you know, somebody accidentally left a bag of cocaine in the. You know what? No, no, we don't have a second discussion about that. You're just, you know, to start with, there's a bag of cocaine and then there's accidental. Oh, my God. These two things don't go together. You're gone. I mean, this is not. We don't have. We don't have a big. We don't need a drug test. We already got the drug. It's okay. Get it. You're gone. And so it's just. No, I mean that, you know, so we. But that stuff doesn't happen here because of how stringent we are on hiring. But that's the type of stuff that we would have a zero tolerance on and. Cause I don't need to discuss you if you don't have integrity now, if you're just not good at your job or you got a bad attitude or you were nasty to somebody, I can talk to you about that, give you a chance to change your ways. You know, we can coach you along and coach you up and give you a chance to stay. The problem is, and you pointed this out, is when you have 10 people, you are at the stage where we call it the second stage of business. The first stage is treadmill operator and the next stage is Pathfinder. And so when you are at the Pathfinder stage, it's, it's like herding cats. Ten people, they're running in 10 different directions. Everything's not aligned. There's a lot of chaos. A lot of it can be that all of them are working hard. I had 10 people one time, I remember. I mean it's like everybody's working hard but they're running in 10 different directions. There's not a lot of alignment, not a lot of good, strong cultural values in place and that kind of thing. And you do have this sense of if I fire a key person and I have 10 people, the whole place is going to shut down. Well, let me help you. Andrew in Michigan, the whole place is not going to shut down. Instead they're going to cheer for Andrew in Michigan. They're going to go, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew. Because the guy that stole our tips, Andrew got rid of them. Andrew is the man I would chase the. I would charge the gates of hell with a water pistol for. Andrew, because he had my back. The guy that stole my tips, he fired him. That's what's going to happen. You're not going to cave, you're not going to fall in. You're going to be stronger. And the longer you do this, the more sure you'll be footed you'll be in your decision making on these things. And you'll make fewer and fewer mistakes on who I keep and who I give this to. But don't keep somebody because you think this place isn't going to run because of them. Dude, he was never the secret sauce in the first place. You are the secret sauce. That's why you have a successful concern. But now you have to have a backbone and be a leader and fire a thief. Yeah.
Ken Coleman
You've enabled it by just using language.
Dave Ramsey
Borrowing.
Ken Coleman
I thought that was interesting. He's borrowing tips. Here's what we know. If he's borrowing or stealing from his co workers, it's only a matter of time before he borrows or steals from you if he hasn't already.
Dave Ramsey
100%.
Ken Coleman
So that, that's the thing.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. 100% chance his wife doesn't trust him. All right. Peyton is in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Hey Peyton, what's up?
Pamela
Hi. How's it going?
Dave Ramsey
Better than I deserve. How come? To help.
Pamela
So I kind of have A little bit of a math problem for you. So just a little bit background about me. I'm a chemical engineer. So like I'm trying to figure out the best way that this makes sense to do so. I currently have gone from a job that was paying me $80,000 a year to a job that's paying me $104 a year plus commission. So I can get up to 40 to 60 grand of commission at the end of the year if I perform well in this job.
Dave Ramsey
Okay.
Pamela
And so my problem is, is that, that I'm working on your debt snowball methods. I'm in baby step number two. I cut down my.
Dave Ramsey
I'm a little short on time. Go straight to your question, honey.
Pamela
Yeah, so this right to the question point is that I'm going from a company that had a company car to not a car that you can get into this program. But the problem is, is that the car to be qualified for the program is, has to be a new car to 4 years in age under 50,000 miles and has to be a hire hybrid to qualify for the program.
Dave Ramsey
I'll pass.
Pamela
Okay.
Dave Ramsey
It's not, it's not a race. The amount of money they're going to give you will not cover the loss in value because you're driving an expensive car into the dirt because you're putting a lot of miles on it. You're doing sales calls, okay? So you're gonna put, you're gonna put so many miles on the car, you're gonna, you're gonna take a forty or a fifty thousand dollar car and you're gonna make it worth ten every year. And you cannot absorb that with the amount of, of money that they're offering you. That's why they don't do company cars. They trick you into taking the bite. It's a pay cut. It's not an, it's not a benefit. Don't take it. Just drive whatever you want to drive and forget it and drive something cheap because you're ruining whatever you drive. Buying and selling a home is a big deal and you want an expert in your corner fighting for you to get the right deal at the right price. That's why we only recommend Ramsey trusted real estate agents. They're handpicked pros who know their stuff.
John
Stuff.
Dave Ramsey
Listen to your needs and have your back from the first call all the way to closing day. To find a Ramsey trusted agent near you, visit ramseysolutions.com agent ramseysolutions.com agent.
John
Foreign.
Dave Ramsey
From the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, It's The Ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create actual amazing relationships. Ken Coleman Ramsey personality number one best selling author and host of the show that is a runaway hit on Ramsey network. It's called front row seat where he does long form interviews with highly successful and famous people to get the success principles from them that help you live a better life. You'll love it. Chuck is with us in Pittsburgh. Hey Chuck, welcome to the show. How can we help?
John
Thanks Dave. Thanks for taking my call.
Dave Ramsey
Sure. What's up?
John
Hey. Been following the baby steps for a decade and thank you so much. It's been so good for my family. It's helped our marriage. It's just made putting three kids through college a lot simpler way to go. Question was. Thank you. My question is for Ken. Ken, what are the baby steps for somebody that's looking to move out of a 32 year career into something that he can do into his twilight?
Ken Coleman
Get clear is the first step. Second step is get qualified. Third step is get connected. Fourth is get started.
Dave Ramsey
Started.
Ken Coleman
Then we get promoted and ultimately into what we think is the dream job in this new path. So that's the quick answer. Do you know what you want to move into or are you trying to figure that out?
John
That's what I'm trying to figure out.
Ken Coleman
Okay, well, we've got a tool for you that'll make this a little easier on the phone. I'm going to give you the book. Find the work you're wired to do. It's the get clear career assessment. And there's three wires that every human has. Talent is one wire. That's simple, simply what you're really good at doing. And that's you're born with that. And then through education and experience, we hone that ball of clay of talent into sharpened skills or useful things like a bowl or a cup. So talent is what we want to start with and that gives us the clues as to where we can go the next two wires. One is passion. And that just means what work do I love to do? I look forward to it. When I'm in the middle of it, I lose track of time.
Dave Ramsey
Time.
Ken Coleman
And then the third wire is all about motivation and that's we call it mission. In other words, what results do I want my work to create? What do I want to contribute to the world? So it looks like this in a simple sentence. If I use what I do best to do what I love to produce results that matter to me. I am in fact on purpose and I'm doing meaningful work. And the money's going to be the best possible option because of those factors. So, you know, I'll put you on the spot. I'm going to give you that assessment, and you take about 18 minutes. It's going to really read your mail. It'll make specific suggestions to you. But I want to boil the world of work down into four buckets. People work, idea work, process work, and object work. Object work would be something where I'm working with my hands. Maybe I'm a carpenter, maybe I'm a plumber. And so in the world of work, where do you think your greatest talent is? Knowing what you know about yourself being 56, what area of work people work, idea work, process work, or object work?
John
Definitely people work. That's been my whole, whole life.
Ken Coleman
Okay, great. So if you allow yourself to wonder, and I know you have, and I'm putting you on the spot, not for you to be locked into this, but if you could go a direction tomorrow and you knew you couldn't fail and we just tried it for 90 days, what would you try tomorrow?
John
Well, I've got a face for radio, Ken, so I'd have to say I did some radio years and years, 30 years ago at KDK and Pittsburgh, long time ago, but couldn't make it into a career. But I kind of miss it, you know.
Ken Coleman
Okay, so you would be communicating. If we take radio out, you would be doing some type of work that's heavy communication and that involves people.
John
Correct, Correct.
Ken Coleman
And you like the pressure of communicating. That doesn't freak you out. You kind of enjoy it. A little bit of butterfly, but you really enjoy it.
John
Love the deadlines. Okay, hey, we're, we're starting in 3, 2, 1. You know, that kind of thing.
Ken Coleman
So let me, let me ask you this. What do you make right now? What have you been doing and what do you make?
John
Well, I've been in sales for 32 years and been blessed to be in over six, you know, six digits.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, great.
Ken Coleman
Now this is what's great.
John
This is 100 to 150, depending on the market.
Ken Coleman
Okay? So here's what I know about you. So you're a very good communicator because you've been very successful in sales. And a good salesperson knows how to truly communicate. Not just talk, but read. People listen for what's below these. So you've got a lot of experience here. Now, I'm gonna be very honest with you. Radio is not an industry where there's a ton of opportunity because of the nature of podcasting and YouTube and the culture's listening habits, there's just not a whole lot of radio opportunity. So then you go, okay, what is it that I love about the radio piece? And it's, I like communicating something that I believe will help people. Is that a fair, high level statement?
John
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah.
Ken Coleman
Okay, great. So as you begin to take the assessment, you get your results, you're going to start to ideate and here's three questions that you will answer. And if you got something to write with, write them down. If not, go back and listen. Listen to this three very simple questions that will bring you an idea or 2 or 5. Who are the people I most want to help? What problem or desire do they have? And then what solutions, plural, to the problem or desire that I just outlined do I most get excited about? What you're going to find. If you wrestle with that day in and day out, your mind and heart will start to come together and you'll begin to throw things out. And so you are to going, going to communicate. It's people work, we know it's people, people, people. There might be a little bit of idea work involved here. And so if you can begin to figure out who are those people I want to help at this stage of my life and what prom or desire is jumping out at me and then how does the marketplace address that with my skill set. And so that's the exercise for you in the days ahead. But the assessment that we're going to give you is going to give you a very detailed report. I want you to read, read it and I want you to then answer those three questions. And what you're going to find is you'll see multiple opportunities that you never saw before, but you got to be able to understand what it is that I'm looking for.
Dave Ramsey
And I want you to pan back further than just the two things, sales and radio. Yes. Okay. Those were very nuanced possible uses of everything Ken's talking about. And there's a lot of different ways to do what you're doing. And I'll just, you know, I'll give you an example of that. I was being interviewed the other day by a trade publication in the broadcast world, and they said, how has Ramsey prospered and survived? You know, satellite radio, the Internet coming on with podcasts now used to be streaming in the old days. And now with the advent of the power of YouTube as our shows. And what I said was, and what I want you to think this way is we are platform Agnostic. We don't care where what medium or media this message goes out on. If it goes out on Instagram or Tic Tac or anything, we don't care. We're fine with any of it. Okay, but if I said instead, I'm a talk radio guy, I'm not doing podcast and I'm not going to be on YouTube, that's for cats chasing lasers and tic tacs owned by the communists, I'm not doing that. If I said that, which I'm kind of tempted to at times, okay, if I said that and I held myself to being only a talk radio guy, I would have 8 million listeners a week instead of 40. So that would be stupid, stupid narrow minded of me to focus on one thing. Instead I'm saying how many different ways in a huge buffet can we apply the delivery of this message? In your case, their message is your talent. How can I, how can I put myself out there? How many different ways can I put myself out there? Be platform agnostic. Hang on, we're going to send you a copy of both books. One that has the clear path. That's pretty paycheck to purpose and the assessment as well. We've all done dumb things with money. I've done them with zeros on the end. One of the biggest mistakes I see people make with money is not having a plan for it. You got to have a plan. You got to be intentional. And you need to get a budget. You have to tell your money where to go so you're not wondering where it went. Our budgeting app, EveryDoll, helps you do just that. It's the easiest and fastest way to make a monthly plan. For every dollar you've got coming in and going out, now's the best time to get started before the ridiculous holiday spending season gets here and sucks you in because you didn't have a plan. Don't let that happen. You're done making that mistake. Go download everydollar for free in the App Store or Google Play today. Buying or selling a home these days with all the drama is a big deal and the clickbait headlines, all the garbage that's out there on social media and all the broke friends that have an opinion about you buying a house. Let me help you with the drama. How you cut through drama facts. When drama or trauma is occurring, facts are your friends. Facts will talk you off the ledge. Facts will take you and put you in a cold shower and get you over a buying fever. Facts will tell you this is what I need to do. And this is smart thing to do. Facts are facts and you need some facts in the middle of all this. So what we've done is we built out a full website called the US Housing Market Trend. And you can jump on there any day and see what exactly is happening with the real estate world. And like for instance, the 15 year fixed rate is still steady at 5.95, just under 6%. That's a fact. Hadn't moved in a while, by the way. That is also a fact. The median house price is still 441,000 in America today. It has gone up a little bit every month. The inventory right now is a million 882. A million 82,520 homes on the market today. And that's the highest inventory rate since 2019. However, demand is higher than it has been and so that is why house prices have not dropped. High interest rates, high inventory would normally mean you'd see house prices come down. Has not happened because demand is higher than inventory. When demand is higher than supply, economics tells us prices go up. When more people want a Beanie Baby than there are Beanie Babies, the price of Beanie Babies go up. That's how it works. Okay, Some of you are old enough to get the reference, some of you weren't born yet, but there we go. So anyway, that's the thing. Go to ramseysolutions.com market and we'll catch you up to date. Andrew's with us in New York. Hi, Andrew. Welcome to the show. How can we. We help.
John
Hi, Dave and Ken. It's really cool to talk to you guys. I've been a big fan for years.
Dave Ramsey
Well, thank you. What's up?
John
So I have a situation that I've been discussing with my dad and my sister. And I thought it might be something you have some suggestions on. My dad set up a college savings account, 529accounts for my twins who were born in 2010. These were his first grandchildren. He was working at the time, so he was able to fund the accounts for a few years. They've grown to a total of about $100,000, half of which he estimates he contributed.
Dave Ramsey
Wow.
John
He stopped working shortly after that and was unable to start additional accounts later when I had additional children and my sister had a child, he hadn't really thought about them since. But now a question of fairness has arisen, at least between my sister and me. He only recently learned from an elder care attorney that accounts like this can be shared or split among other children. And he's now wondering if he should draw from his limited retirement savings to start an account for my sister's child or portion off some of the savings from the twins account. I know that it's his money to do with us. He pleases. And I'd want my nephew to receive something as well, but my.
Dave Ramsey
So how much does your dad have in retirement?
John
I don't know exactly how much he has, but you know, he has enough that he.
Dave Ramsey
Well, I mean, what? 300,000, 5 million? What's he got in there?
John
No, I think something like 3 or 400,000.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, cool. And is your mom going gone?
John
They are separated.
Dave Ramsey
They're separate.
John
Divorced.
Dave Ramsey
Divorced. Okay. All right. And he is now retired. What? How old is he?
John
He's 77.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, what's he seeing an elder care return. Elder care attorney about?
John
He was looking into protecting the house in case something happened to him and he needed to go into care or something.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. That's a waste of money, by the way. The way. Okay, I can help you with that. We could use that money to fund the kids college. Okay, so I'm not against some elder care situations, but here's the situation. There's only two kinds of nursing homes. Ones you pay for are ones you go into when you're on welfare. Welfare's Medicaid. It's for poor people. Your dad's not poor people people.
John
Okay, okay.
Dave Ramsey
He needs to quit trying to hide assets using an elder care attorney so he can go on welfare. You don't want him. And he doesn't want to be in a welfare Medicaid nursing home. Not if I got 300 grand in the bank. That ain't where I'm staying. Okay.
John
Okay.
Dave Ramsey
You know, if I got 300 grand in the bank, I don't want to live in subsidized housing. Okay?
John
Okay.
Dave Ramsey
You catching on my drift here? That's what he's. That's where this guy's leading him. And he doesn't need to be leading him this way. It's a bad plan. His house is not protected. It's protected only if he goes on welfare. And so don't try to design a life so that you can go on welfare after working your whole life and you got 300k that does enter. It's a sidebar, but it's not because that leaves you then in a situation so. So that these kids. How old is your. Your sister's kid?
John
He's seven.
Dave Ramsey
Okay.
John
So he's got time for money to grow. And my twins are 50.
Dave Ramsey
So your dad's 300k is invested.
John
Yes.
Dave Ramsey
And here's what I would do if I were your dad. Okay? I'm 64. 65 almost. Okay, here's what I would do if I were him. If he doesn't live until these kids go to college. 10 years, okay? If he, if he lives to 87, we'll do something different. But if he doesn't live, leave enough specifically in the will for the three kids, yours. And there's only two kids. Your one kid didn't get money and your sister's one kid didn't get money. Right?
John
I have two additional.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, so leave enough in the will for your two that were not the 20 that have zero, the sister's kid who doesn't have anything that has zero to play catch up and leave the twins out of that portion of the will. So make it right upon death and then split up whatever's left between you and your sister. Okay, but he can make it right upon death. In the meantime, he's got 300k growing and it'll be 600k if he leaves it alone in 7 more years. And it's in good mutual funds. Okay. So it'll be plenty of money to send these kids to school. That's if he dies before they go to school. How old are your two that we're talking about that don't have money?
John
Thirteen and seven.
Dave Ramsey
Thirteen?
John
Yes, 13 and seven.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, so seven years. If he doesn't die, if he dies anytime the next seven years, the 13 year old gets made whole. Whole and the seven year old gets made whole. The twins are obviously older than 13. And then your sister's 7 year old gets made whole upon death. That's what I would do if I were him in my will. Then if he doesn't die when they get ready to go to college, I'm just going to write checks, okay? Simple. I don't have to fund a 529. I'll just write checks out of my wealth until I equal and do a little math and you figure out, you know, what is equal at that point. But we've got at least five years, four years, five years before yours is in school and you know, up to 10 before the other two are in school. And then he's going to be writing some checks out of his then half million or whatever. And you know, if he puts in some similar amount plus growth because he got the growth, okay, if he gives you 25k today instead of 10 years from now, he's going to get all the growth on the 25. So he could. Let's call that 50. Okay, so he could put in 50 for a future kid and it'd be the same as 25 was back then. You follow me?
John
Yes. Yes.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, so just have his financial planner, not his elder lawyer do the calculation and just run that out and go. Okay, if I'm alive 5, I'm going to take care of the 13 year old to this equation because that equals 25k back then. Okay. And how old are the twins, by the way?
John
They're 15.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, all right. So. And then they get nothing. They've already got theirs in either scenario. Unless he wants to leave the overage above college to the kids and not to you and your sister. But otherwise the twins don't get anymore. They've already gotten theirs. And so just lay it all out like that and that'll be fine. Ken, I'm glad you had input on that.
Ken Coleman
Well, I was gonna say, Dave, you had several holes there that I was gonna fill and then you just tied it all up there at the end. So I don't have anything to add.
Dave Ramsey
Sorry. It's way too easy to put the all making a will. And believe me, I've heard every excuse in the book. But not having the time is one excuse we can kick to the curb right now. Because these days most folks can make a legally binding will on their laptop between loads of laundry. If you're wondering if you can make your will online or if you need a lawyer, we have a quiz to help you figure that out in less than 5 minutes. Just go to ramseysolutions.com willsquiz quiz. Ramseysolutions.com wills quiz in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt free stage. Michael and Rosalie are with us. Hey guys, how are you? Good.
Rosalie
How are you?
Fairwinds
Better than I deserve.
Dave Ramsey
Wonderful. Welcome. Where do you guys live?
Rosalie
Buffalo, New York.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, cool. Welcome to Nashville.
Rosalie
Thank you.
Dave Ramsey
And how much debt have you two paid off?
Fairwinds
About 70,000.
Dave Ramsey
Awesome. And how long did that take you?
Fairwinds
Just over five years.
Dave Ramsey
Good for you and your range of income during that time.
Fairwinds
100 to 150.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. All right. And what kind of debt was the seven?
Fairwinds
Well, to borrow your phrase, the paid off for mortgage has taken the place of the BMW as our status symbol of choice.
Dave Ramsey
Got a paid for house, baby. I love it. Congratulations. Well done. Very well done. What do y' all do for a living?
Fairwinds
So Rosalie was an interior design and now has the hardest of jobs, a stay at home mom. And I'm in financial analysis and side business as A financial coach and a special thank you to your team. An unbelievably talented team of race coaches you have.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, well, thank you. Thank you. Appreciate you being here. Very cool. How's it feel, guys, to have the house paid off?
Rosalie
Feels really good.
Dave Ramsey
That's amazing. So what a goal. And five years you. So you got everything else paid off and then you work just the slow plan worked 4, 5 and 6 like you're supposed to.
John
Yep.
Dave Ramsey
And paid off the house gradually. How old are you? I'm 36, 44 and a paid for house. What's the house worth about?
Fairwinds
We bought it for about 200. It's worth about 300 now.
Dave Ramsey
All right, very cool. Good for you guys. And how much have you guys built up in your nest eggs in your retirement and so forth?
Fairwinds
We'd rather not say. But in the last five years since we worked the plan, between investing more and the market growth, it's over doubled in that five years.
Dave Ramsey
All right, well, very good. Good. So it smells like maybe your baby steps millionaires already. I'm proud of you. I'm just going to go with that. I'm going to pretend like I know that. The way to go, y'. All. I'm proud of you.
Fairwinds
Thank you.
Dave Ramsey
36 and 44 years old.
Ken Coleman
So give us your perspective on why after getting out of debt and walking through the baby steps, you went all right. Yeah, let's go ahead and. And let's keep on going. Let's keep being disciplined and let's pay the house off. Why? For somebody who's wondering what's the reason for that, what is your why?
Fairwinds
Yeah. So we entered marriage completely debt free. We had debt before marriage, but we entered it debt free. But I stumbled across the Ramsey show back in 2020 and started watching YouTube highlights and watching the show. And so Dave, I'm start driving Rosalie crazy probably.
Dave Ramsey
Yes.
Fairwinds
I have an accounting degree and a CPA license. So of course, when it comes to personal finance, before finding your show, I knew almost nothing. So my parents did teach me to live on less than you make. So I followed that and married well because Rosalie lived done less than she made also. But quickly from watching your show realized there are a lot of blind spots and a lot of things we're missing. We were not saving 15% for retirement. We were tracking our expenses instead of budgeting. And there's a huge difference between those two. We had had James, our son, and our daughter Lillian was on the way. We didn't have a will. We didn't have life insurance. So there were just a lot of blind spots we were missing. So we had a good foundation, but finding your show developed an actual process that we could find, follow.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. And when you check all those boxes, the weird thing is the result is peace.
Fairwinds
Absolutely.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. You can just relax. House is paid for. We've got retirement, got a will. We've got, you know, we've got life insurance. We're, you know, we're rocking. You got, you got the system down. You get in the groove and there's a chance that you can just let. You can just breathe in. And it really is financial peace. Two words that don't go together, like airline service. It's like, yeah, pretty cool, guys. I'm so proud of y'.
John
All.
Dave Ramsey
Thank you. What do you tell people the key to getting out of debt is?
Fairwinds
Well, so it's. It's working together, it's communicating, it's the budget, it's being intentional. All of those things are very, very critical.
Rosalie
I know for us with having kids, that's our main motivation is our kids, our generational wealth, setting them up for life.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah.
Rosalie
That's our huge driver. So, I mean, for us with kids, that.
Dave Ramsey
That's what we. That's your why? Yeah, it's your why. It's your driver. Yeah, yeah, you gotta have that. And because the other stuff is too weird to do if you don't have a real reason.
Fairwinds
Absolutely.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah.
Fairwinds
We decided to attack steps five and six, obviously doing step four, too, but five and six aggressively to get them both done. So we front loaded their 529 accounts. So before they even got into kindergarten, they're. They're all set with their 529s that what grows should cover at least a public university. And then they can decide for if they're going to work or get scholarships for anything beyond that. But they'll get that by not taking on any college debt. So that was our goal, that we can get them to have no debt other than a mortgage for their entire lives. That this is going to be their last recollection of debt is being on the debt free stage here.
Dave Ramsey
So you guys have been married how long?
Rosalie
Almost eight years this October.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. And you started on the house five years ago. So it sounds like you started very early in the marriage on this whole thing.
Fairwinds
Yeah, we bought the house right as we got married. So it was a total of under eight years that we paid the house off. It was. It was five years since we got very serious on the Ramsey plan.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. So, Rosalie, when you first met Michael, or when he first started talking about all this stuff, did he drive you crazy with it?
Rosalie
I'm used to it because this is kind of his background. He's into finances, and this is, you know, this is his passion, and, you know, this is kind of his wheelhouse. So this wasn't anything new for me. And I wasn't surprised when he found you and brought all this up and wanted to, you know, go on this plan and attack it. I was right with him because, like I said, the kids and everything. I know I drive him crazy because with being an interior design backroom, I'm always looking at stuff around the house, so that drives him crazy. So we always have to communicate about things that, you know, I might want to do to the house or, you know, what's going on. Communication is big, so I wasn't surprised.
Dave Ramsey
And now you. You can. Now you can do whatever you want to.
Rosalie
Well, don't tell him that.
Dave Ramsey
Well, maybe. Maybe. Maybe I need to. I don't know.
Ken Coleman
What does live and give like no one else look like for you guys going forward? Have you begun to dream and discuss what that could look like 100%?
Rosalie
Honestly, on the car ride over down here, we were definitely talking about how we can now give and how we can be more generous with our giving and to our church and things like that. That's definitely been a conversation more and more and more now that we don't have the mortgage hanging over our head.
Dave Ramsey
What's the big, nice thing you're going to do for yourselves? I don't know.
Rosalie
We don't have an answer to that one.
Dave Ramsey
I think, you know, just live like no one else. Later you can live like no one else.
Rosalie
I don't know if we have an answer to that one. You know, we're still trying to get our cars through two more winters, so. And there are 13 and 11. So we're.
Dave Ramsey
I think you to need some cars. Time to get some cars. Don't have any house payment. Don't have any debt. Yeah, just, you know, now you can breathe a little, y'. All. I mean, it's. It's good to do that. And. And that won't be wasteful, and that won't be irresponsible or anything else. And so it's. It's actually why you did all of this. That and those two beautiful kiddos. So very, very cool. All right, bring them up. Let's meet them. And names and ages. Come on up, kiddos.
Fairwinds
Do we have time for a quick story?
Dave Ramsey
Sure.
Fairwinds
So very appropriate, Ken. That you're on the show today. So I called you five years ago debating whether I should take financial coach master training as our daughter was on the way. And I, you know, I asked you, I said, is this a good thing to do? And you kept saying, ask your wife. And I said, well, I already done that, I'm calling the expert. But right before we got off the call, you gave me two words. You said, do something. And those two words were huge. And they're huge for everybody in finances, in faith and fitness, whatever it might be. And then on the way here, we stopped at a rest stop in Kentucky and I saw a US army veteran on his jacket and I said to him, thank you for your service and these are the true heroes. And his response was, you're worth it. And so I just want to combine those two thoughts today. Do something because you're worth it and because your family's worth it. So combine those two thoughts for all your listeners today. I think that's a really important message to hear.
Dave Ramsey
Amen. Cool. Thanks for sharing that stuff. Alright kiddos, names and ages again.
Fairwinds
James is six and Lillian is four.
Dave Ramsey
All right, guys, you look like you've been practicing a debt free scream. I think you're ready. All right, Michael and Rosalie, James and Lillian. 70,000 paid off in five years, house and everything making one to 150. Count it down, let's hear a debt free scream.
Fairwinds
Three, two, one.
Ken Coleman
We're jet creepy.
Dave Ramsey
They are into it. Yeah. Those kids are completely changed. Their lives have changed before they were born and they didn't even know it. Pretty incredible. This is what happens when you change your family tree. And at 36 and 44 you put yourself in a position of baby steps. Millionaire. You've got your house paid off, everything and you make it 100 and a half and you can do anything you want to. Then the rest of your life you've got, you've got the, the thumb of society off of your neck. You don't have Citibank anywhere in your vocabulary. Oh God, that's good to be heard of. You know, you don't have American excess anywhere in your vocabulary. That's good to be rid of. Wow. Way to go guys. What great, what a great power couple. Excellent. SA Our Scripture of the Day, Job 22:21. Submit to God, God and be at peace with him. In this way, prosperity will come to you. In other words, that is prosperity. Peace. The peace that passes understanding. Winston Churchill said, for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in A bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. Yeah. And another famous English, English leader, Margaret Thatcher, said, socialism is fine until you run out of other people's money. Yeah, agreed. Yeah, that's. That's a problem. Math thing. That's a math thing. Reggie's in Cleveland, Ohio. Hey, Reggie, what's up?
John
Hey, Dave. Ken. Pleasure talking to you guys.
Dave Ramsey
You too. How can we help?
John
I actually, I came across your course about 13 years ago in high school, and I was lucky enough to take it, and I've been an avid living listener ever since.
Dave Ramsey
So thank you.
John
It's been quite a life, Chang.
Dave Ramsey
Thank you.
John
Of course. So kind of my dilemma is I own two bakeries and I co own one of them, and one of them had to close briefly here due to the lack of employees, and the other one is quite successful. And in, you know, 2027, we're forecasting a million plus. So my question is, given my full time employment and other businesses I have on the side, is it a smart idea to try to pump a little more money into that other bakery just to make some rudimentary upgrades, changes, you know, new stuff, just to kind of try to revive that and gain back the trust in the community.
Ken Coleman
So a couple questions here before we dive in. Is the one that's struggling that you had to temporarily shut down, is that the one you co own or the one that you're the sole owner?
John
Sole owner.
Dave Ramsey
Okay.
Ken Coleman
And you, you said to us that the problem you identified was not being able to get employees. And so then you presented another solution. So what, what is the big problem?
John
Well, the problem is, was the lack. It's an underdeveloped area and it's being developed as we speak in terms of about a thousand houses within four square miles. Miles. So it took me about eight months to really underdevelop.
Dave Ramsey
I mean, it was a bad neighborhood that's coming back rural. Oh, it's rule.
John
I'm sorry.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. No, you're not. I just didn't understand. It's my fault. Okay. All right. So it's a. It's, it's way out of town, but it's. But town has come to it.
John
Correct.
Dave Ramsey
It's kind of the. The city is creeping out there to it.
John
Correct.
Dave Ramsey
And can you hold on long enough for the city to get there?
John
Well, that's, that's my concern because I would be paying like I'm paying now currently out of my career salary, you know, to keep everything open and getting the rent paid and stuff to that effect.
Dave Ramsey
All right.
Ken Coleman
So you said you're temporary, so you temporarily shut it down. My question then is, can you keep it shut down until the market gets to the point that it needs to? In other words, can you ramp it back up at a later date?
John
I. I can't. I really have a bad feeling about borrowing money. I'm 100%.
Dave Ramsey
I wasn't asking. Yeah, no, no, no, no.
Ken Coleman
That wasn't a part of the scenario.
Dave Ramsey
He just said, if you don't reopen it, what are your costs? And can you maintain those easier than you can maintain feeding it? Yeah.
John
I would not be able to long term. So.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, so what is the profit on the million doll, other bakery? On the million dollars on it. What's your net profit?
John
So on the million dollars that we're forecasting in next year, profit will be about 250.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. Which is split two ways. And you have a full time job on top of this.
John
That is correct.
Dave Ramsey
And you make what, it's your full time job.
John
So I am a pipefitters apprentice and this is my last year. So right now I'm sitting at about 7.
Dave Ramsey
And you'll go to what after you finish? It'll go what?
John
It'll. It'll go to about 95.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. All right.
John
And that's without any overtime or anything.
Dave Ramsey
And does your, does your wife work outside the home?
John
Sir, I am not married.
Dave Ramsey
You're not married. Okay. That's easy. Okay. All right, so let's just reverse engineer the other bakery that you singularly own. The point is you got to the party early and there's no people. That's what you told me. Right. You built out on the edge of a growth ring and you thought it was going to happen faster or that the current people there were going to be able to support you and they're not able to. There's not enough population currently to support the business. I think you said.
John
Well, there is, but the problem is it's not going to be supported staff wise. I mean, I mean, I have people that pop up here and there, but I think my core demographic of people that I'm waiting on is still up.
Dave Ramsey
And coming to work as workers, not as customers. If you had it fully staffed, would it be profitable?
John
Yes, sir.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, so staffing is your problem, not renovation.
John
Correct. I'm saying no, I'm not going to.
Dave Ramsey
Spend money renovating it until I get it started, staffed. Why wouldn't you just spend all of your efforts staffing it or close it? One of the two.
John
Correct? Yes, sir. It is between the Population that's growing. And the actual staffing problem itself, it does cost a arm and a leg to do that. I mean, I've sustained it short term, but the only problem is, is to really be in the green one population, we need to increase the customer base. It would be.
Dave Ramsey
You've talked yourself into closing. Every sentence you've said has told me.
Ken Coleman
That, and I think that's obvious. There's not a simple solution to your staffing problem.
Dave Ramsey
But you're done. Every sentence you bring up is negative. And about closing it, you've lost hope that it's going to work. So it's done. You need to close it. Yeah.
John
Okay.
Dave Ramsey
And you know more about it than I do. And. But every. What? You don't even realize it, but you're telling, you're telegraphing everything. And every sentence you're using is all about how it can't be done, it can't be done. I'm just too early. There's this problem, that problem problem. And you know, you've given up hope that the problems can be solved in time before you go broke doing it. And so I wouldn't want the stress. I just close it. Have you got a lease?
John
It is a lease. Yes. That runs out in January.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, praise God. Okay, so you own all the equipment?
John
Yes, sir.
Dave Ramsey
Debt free. Great. Put it in the garage. So all you got is a lease till January and you're out of business. That's awesomeness. And next time you get ready to start now, you'll be wiser when you open your next one. Someday you'll know that the staffing as well as the customer base has to be there before you can open it. And it has to be. The location cannot be a risk. The location has to be a no brainer. You took a risk. Location on a business that is. That location is every.
John
Absolutely, yeah.
Dave Ramsey
Anything in food service world. Location, location and location.
John
I was a little early to the party.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, you were. You got there before the people did. Yeah. So I'm sorry, man. So hopefully you haven't lost a lot. I've learned a lot. So the rule and the. Here's what I did, what Ken and I both were doing, listening to you. We use Henry Cloud's book and Henry's a friend, but we've been using this book for a long, long time called Necessary Endings. When you lose hope with all logic and sound wisdom that something is going to get better, it needs to end. And that is a relationship, it's a job, it's a marriage, it's a business, it's an investment. When you lose hope that it's going to get better than it requires. A painful and emotional necessary ending. Yeah.
Ken Coleman
And Reggie, in this case, really, really proud of you for doing this debt free. I love that you've been working on a trade. You've been apprenticing. You're about ready to see tremendous increase financially. You're making money in the other one. So you learned a lesson here. This is one of those. Our dear friend John Maxwell wrote a book years ago called Failing Forward. Then he retitled it Some. Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn. And most people say lose. And in this case, I want to encourage you, you learned here, you didn't lose. You learned something. You're going to come out of this thing without being in big time financial trouble. Chalk this up to great experience. I learned a lot here. But man, I've set myself up beautifully for the future. So I applaud you for being debt free and being really smart here, even though you made a mistake here. This is not something to be ashamed.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, Tim was an experiment.
Ken Coleman
That's right.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. It's not a failure, it's an experiment. And the way you learn from experiments is you fail and you form a new hypothesis. Then you experiment again. Game on. Welcome to business. That puts this hour of the Ramsey show in the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace and that's to walk daily with the Prince of peace, Christ Jesus Sam.
Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show – "Protect Your Wallet From Other People’s Chaos"
Episode Information
In the August 12, 2025 episode of The Ramsey Show, host Dave Ramsey and co-host Ken Coleman delve into the complexities of managing personal finances amidst familial and professional chaos. The episode addresses real-life listener calls, offering pragmatic solutions grounded in Ramsey’s renowned financial principles. Key themes include setting boundaries, handling financial abuse, making informed investment decisions, and navigating business challenges.
Pamela from Alabama shares her experience of ending a 40-year relationship with her brother, who served as her financial advisor. Despite familial trust, Pamela and her husband felt unprepared for retirement due to their advisor’s lack of proactive planning, especially concerning tax strategies and retirement income optimization.
Key Points:
Notable Quote:
John from Oregon discusses the financial abuse he faces from his parents, who have repeatedly borrowed money from him without repayment, impacting him and his siblings. At 19 and in college, John is concerned about the ongoing financial strain on his family dynamics.
Key Points:
Notable Quotes:
Vincent from Idaho seeks guidance on investing a $50,000 bonus received from joining the Air National Guard. A 22-year-old recent graduate with zero debt, Vincent aims to make his money work for him rather than spending it impulsively.
Key Points:
Notable Quote:
Doug from Allentown, Pennsylvania questions the value of his existing life insurance policies, specifically his Whole Life policy with limited growth compared to a Term Life policy.
Key Points:
Notable Quote:
Fairwinds, a couple from Buffalo, New York, shares their journey of paying off $70,000 in debt over five years while managing a household income of $100,000 to $150,000. They highlight the importance of communication, budgeting, and setting clear financial goals, particularly motivated by their children’s future.
Key Points:
Notable Quotes:
John owns two bakeries and is contemplating whether to invest more into a struggling location or close it down due to staffing issues and insufficient customer base. Despite forecasting a profitable year for his successful bakery, he faces challenges in reviving the other due to rising competition and operational costs.
Key Points:
Notable Quote:
Andrew from New York seeks advice on how his father should fairly distribute college savings among siblings. His father initially set up substantial 529 accounts for Andrew’s twins but now considers extending benefits to his niece amidst limited retirement savings.
Key Points:
Notable Quote:
Setting Boundaries: Whether dealing with family members mismanaging finances or abusive financial practices, establishing clear boundaries is essential for financial well-being and personal peace.
Debt Management Philosophy: Ramsey emphasizes avoiding debt whenever possible, especially for depreciating assets like cars. Investing surplus income can yield significant long-term benefits through compound interest.
Evaluating Financial Products: Critical assessment of financial products, such as life insurance policies, ensures that individuals are not trapped in unfavorable agreements that do not serve their best interests.
Estate Planning: Proper wills and estate planning prevent legal entanglements and ensure fair distribution of assets among heirs, safeguarding the financial future of all family members.
Business Decision-Making: Honest evaluation of business viability, recognizing when to pivot or close a struggling enterprise, is vital to prevent financial loss and maintain overall business health.
Financial Peace: Achieving financial stability and peace involves disciplined budgeting, strategic debt reduction, and proactive planning for future financial needs.
Pamela: “[...] And this was not an easy thing for us to do. [04:14]”
Dave Ramsey: “This is financial abuse. They’re just stealing the money and they don’t need it to eat. That’s absolute hogwash. [12:14]”
Vincent: “I want to put most of it into like an investment. Right. Like a neutral. [46:24]”
Dave Ramsey: “You can’t do two full-time jobs. The idea of a full-time job is... [35:01]”
Fairwinds: “Do something because you’re worth it and because your family's worth it. [113:15]”
Dave Ramsey: “You can just relax. House is paid for. We’ve got retirement, got a will. We’re rocking. [108:43]”
In this episode of The Ramsey Show, Dave Ramsey and Ken Coleman provide invaluable advice on navigating financial chaos caused by external factors, including family dynamics and business challenges. Through empathetic listening and practical solutions, they empower listeners to take control of their financial destinies, emphasizing the importance of boundaries, informed decision-making, and disciplined financial practices. Whether dealing with personal debt, family financial abuse, or business setbacks, Ramsey’s guidance offers a clear path toward financial peace and stability.