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Dave Ramsey
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Normal is broke and common sense is weird. So we're here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network and the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio, this is the Ramsey Show. Thanks for joining us. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Rachel Cruz Ramsey, personality number one best selling author, co host of Smart Money Honey Happy Hour. My daughter, she's my co host. Today. Open phones at 888. 825-5225. Sadie is in Vancouver. Hi, Sadie. How are you?
Caller
Good.
How are you?
Dave Ramsey
Better than I deserve. How can we help?
Caller
A bit of an odd question. I'm wondering if I should open up a secret bank account without my husband knowing in case of an emergency.
Rachel Cruze
What kind of emergencies do you see happening?
Caller
Sorry, I'm pretty nervous.
We overspend.
A lot each month and.
I'm really trying to.
Like, keep her. Keep our payment down on things. But most of our overspending comes from him. And we have a difficult time talking about finances. I mean, we're getting better at it, but it's still not where it needs to be at all. For example, two months ago we overspent by $3,500 and last month was $2,500.
Dave Ramsey
Where's this money coming from?
Caller
Well, it's all on credit cards right now.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. How long you been married, Hunter?
Caller
Ten years.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. Okay. There's never a situation where lying and deception solves a problem. All that is.
Hold on, hold on. All that does is avoid the problem.
That does not fix your situation.
Caller
No.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. It's going to make it worse instead. So I'm not going to tell you to do this because it's not good for you. I'm going to encourage you instead to head straight into the situation wide open. I want you to sit down with a marriage counselor and I want you to have an absolute righteous anger fit.
Your husband is misbehaving unbelievably.
And it's terrifying you.
Caller
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
And I want you to do something about it.
Not hiding. Not hide money from him.
Caller
We are in marriage counseling, but we've only had a couple of sessions so far.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, yeah. This is not working. This is an emergency. Tell the marriage counselor that the house is on fire and we're going to die if we don't fix the fire. We can't just sit around and discuss our potty training as children. We've got to deal with this misbehavior today.
Rachel Cruze
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
Big time.
Big time. Rachel and I can both hear the terror in your voice.
Yeah.
Rachel Cruze
And, I mean, this doesn't fix the problem, but to this I'm thinking if I am you protecting some level of something, and it wouldn't be a secret account, but you would tell him. Because we do say, don't separate your finances when you're married, except for. And we do have some exceptions to that. And so, Sadie, this would be one of them for me if I were you. And you would have to tell him. Again, it's not in secret, but I'm opening up a separate checking account in my name because I don't feel safe financially with you. It feels irresponsible. I don't know what to do. And if we don't fix this, I mean, these are things that end marriages, Sadie. And I don't want that for you, but it's a reflection of who he is. And that makes me nervous. And it makes me nervous that you can't talk to him about it. You know, it's one thing if he's obviously very grieved by, you know, I don't know, I'm just making this up that he has a spending addiction or something. And he knows the problem, he sees the problem. You guys are working through the problem. But it sounds like he won't even work through the problem because you can't even talk to him about it, which gives me a red flag.
Caller
Yeah, well, yeah, he has, like. There's things that he's going through that we're also working on together. So it's. A lot of times it seems like when I want to have.
Dave Ramsey
Wait a minute, Wait a minute. What does that mean? That was vague. What are you. What are you saying?
Rachel Cruze
Things that he's going through, probably addiction.
Caller
I don't. I wouldn't. I don't know if it would classify as an addiction. He used to have a drinking problem that got really bad, but I think I like. Like, I caught it early enough that he started working on that. So he's doing a lot better. Like, a lot better. But it does. You know, if he has a slip up one day, then it means that spending in other areas goes up as well.
And it's usually things like eating out and video games.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. What I'm hearing is a very immature, very irresponsible little boy, and you've been trying to be his mommy for 10 freaking years and you're really tired.
Rachel Cruze
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. And I don't think. I don't think you're gonna last much longer. If you guys. If he doesn't turn this around. So I think you need to have a really blunt in your face discussion with your marriage counselor and go. I don't have a lot left in my tank. I'm about done with this guy.
Caller
Okay.
Dave Ramsey
He's gonna have to get his crap together really quick.
Rachel Cruze
Do you work Sadie? Where's the income coming from?
Caller
It's all from him. And then I get a child tax benefit because we have three kids.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, but you're not working outside the home.
Caller
No.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. All right.
Well, I think you got to start thinking about.
Making this as big a deal as it is. But no, I don't. We're not going to tell you to open a secret account. I'm with Rachel, though. If you want to open your own account and put half the dadgum money in that account and just tell him you're doing it and he can't have it.
You know, and until we get. Until we get you.
Rachel Cruze
Yeah, this.
Dave Ramsey
Until you start behaving, you know, because this is just out of control. I'm so sorry, honey.
Rachel Cruze
Well, it may. I mean, he's. He obviously has a. A lot. A lot to work on and I don't. And I. The language of which obviously we're not in the situation of the slip up and this and that. I think things are more serious then you're probably giving weight to Sadie or probably you're feeling and maybe not saying, but there's a lot of. A lot of dysfunction and red flags. And for his sake, wanting, healing and wholeness. Right. Like a lot of that's coming from somewhere. That pain is manifesting and going out, you know, every direction for him and so figuring that out. But in the meantime, you and your kids. Yeah. Financially, to keep you safe. Because you want to keep the lights on. Right. And you just continue to dig deeper.
Dave Ramsey
And keep it on the table.
Rachel Cruze
And where you can control is cutting up the credit cards, getting all the credit cards out, you guys together, cutting everything up, you know, stopping access points. Now could he go apply for something in his own right in secret? Sure. But you can't control that. What can you do today? And as much as you can figure out where there is money for him to outsource, like stop it, you know where it begins. But I'm so. I'm so sorry, Sadie.
Dave Ramsey
This is. This is a. This is deteriorating before your very eyes. And we may see it more clearly than you do in the sense that. I don't think we're overreacting, hun. I think you're underreacting and so I'm.
Rachel Cruze
So overwhelming, you know, not. Not working, having three kids and thinking, what's my exit plan if this were the case? I mean, that is so. That is so scary and overwhelming to even think about. But. But those are probably discussions. If you have good friends.
Find community and start. And start thinking through Sadie for. For your life. But my prayer is that you guys heal this and that he finds healing in his own work for your sake, because I'm so, so sorry.
Dave Ramsey
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Vicki is in Savannah. Hi, Vicki. How can we help?
Caller
Hi, how are you?
Dave Ramsey
Better than I deserve. What's up?
Caller
So our question is we're a little bit confused on what My husband and I are a little bit confused on what our next steps because there are so many moving parts.
We currently Have a home that we. So we lived in Tennessee and we ended up moving to South Carolina. I'm just above the border of Savannah. And we moved to live with my dad to save some money to buy a house. Because when we were ready to buy a house, we finally paid back all our student loans and it was 2021 and then everything skyrocketed so we couldn't get ahead of it. So my dad was very nice and said, okay, you move in with us. But before we moved in, we had signed on a new built home. So before we moved to where we live now, we signed on a new built home and then moved in dad. And saved some money. But we didn't realize that the area was a little bit expensive. Definitely more expensive than Tennessee. But you know, we were great, we could save the money. And during that my dad had a mini stroke so we needed to stay and we have to see him because he's not married or anything like that. And he's the only person we have for the kids. My husband's family is in a different country, things like that. So we then moved into our house now which was 453 at the time. And we ended up putting 67,000 down. That's the only thing we could save. But when we signed it took about a year to build. And when we closed it ended up at 8% interest, which was the highest interest rate. So we had to buy it down like a little bit. But we've been struggling ever since. Since then we have four kids, four and under. All of them are developmentally delayed and they all have so many services.
Two of them are already on the spectrum.
And then our current mortgage is 373at 7% interest. My husband makes 130. I have a 3 month old baby and I'm supposed to be a stay at home mom. But I went back to work.
And my, my husband works three jobs right now. He's a data analyst and he works, he's a tennis coach on weekends and he works Kroger at night to try to get some, some grocery bills down.
We don't, we're just, we're not sure what to do. We know we have to sell the house and we've tried selling the house twice already and it's not selling. I was pregnant with my third at the time and then I got too far along.
And had to take it off. And then I was pregnant with my fourth and it was on for four or five months and I got too far along, had to take it off.
And we're not sure what to do. And now we're having an issue where behind us is unincorporated land, and they're shooting their guns into our neighborhood, and it finally hit a fence in a house, and it's been on the news already, and we can't let our. Our four children out in front, because when we bought the house, it was the beginning of the neighborhood. And now that they've built in the neighborhood, it's a main road. So every time we're out there, one of them gets hit. And obviously, I said they're on the spectrum, so I can't really tell them to.
To, like, it's difficult to teach them. So, I mean, they're learning. They're there, you know, but we're really on it, and we're not quite sure what to do because the homes for Ren are, you know, renting is just throwing money away. We know that. We know that we can only afford, like, 300,000, but that doesn't exist here.
Dave Ramsey
And a code 360. Stop. Stop.
Caller
I'm sorry.
Dave Ramsey
It's okay. All right, so what you're starting to do is you're starting to use language that says there's no way out, and that's simply not true. Okay? You can't make a statement about South Carolina and Savannah, Georgia area that says there's no $300,000 houses. That's not a true statement.
There might not be one you want to live in, but there are $300,000 houses.
Caller
And, yeah, we have looked at some.
Dave Ramsey
So you have to. You have to sell this house, and you have to remain not pregnant long enough to sell this house.
You can't have any more kids. You got to get out of this house.
Caller
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. Two times you tried to sell the house, and you were pregnant, and that's what stopped it in your story. If I heard your story right. Okay? And so we're gonna have to start planning some very. Making some very clear decisions. And you've got a lot of, like you said, a lot of variables. There's a lot of things coming at you that are draining the gas out of your tank, the fuel out of your tank. You have your hands full, kiddo. I mean, what you described. In a perfect world, if all the finances were in really good shape with the kids situation you've got with you working on spectrum stuff, and you're working on small babies and everything else, you are absolutely overwhelmed just with that.
A normal human would be okay. And. And then let's go ahead and have a few bullet Rounds come past your house. That always helps, you know, and then let's add to that the fact that this whole financial stress thing is a mess and it's a mistake and you know you shouldn't have done it and you feel bad about doing it every time you think about it. And so you pile these things upon these things and pile these things and pile these things. And then the situation just becomes, you start, your brain starts to tell you that you can't get out, that you're stuck and it's wrong. You can get out. So we're going to put the house on the market tomorrow. Get on, get on the, get on the web, jump on Ramsey Solutions, find a Ramsey trusted real estate agent and put a sign in the yard tomorrow.
Now.
Caller
Okay, we have been, I'm sorry, we, we've been looking at homes on the outskirts. But the homes on the outskirts, for lack of a better term are, or like the ghetto. Like the, the schools don't offer the services that all of my children need. And if we move anywhere else, there's wait list.
Dave Ramsey
There is no scenario that you can stay in this house and have a good life.
Caller
No. Yeah, we're like, so we have to solve.
Dave Ramsey
We have to solve. We have to solve for it, not find reasons it can't be done. Okay, you haven't found the solution yet. I understand that, but that doesn't mean there's not one out there.
Caller
Yeah, we thought of another solution. They're still building in our neighborhood currently and we thought about selling this house, but putting money down on a new build in the back of the community. But those are still. I mean, the cheapest one we found was 4:65.
Dave Ramsey
You can't afford to live there.
Yeah, it's killing you.
Why would you sign up for more pain?
You can't live in that neighborhood. You can't afford it.
You need to move to something that you can afford and get your life back. Because listen, if your payments were under control, your husband wasn't working six jobs, you weren't trying to pick up a job and all you had to deal with was your children. It's a situation with your children that's more than anybody ought to have to say grace over. Without all the other stuff. You've got to get some of these things off your plate. This is not a sustainable situation. You're gonna blow up.
Rachel Cruze
And I think the hard thing is trying to make everything work.
Dave Ramsey
You can't make everything work.
Rachel Cruze
So that's it. So I think there's a level of I Mean, it's kind of almost like grief of like, wow, I really thought this from a location, a school like X, Y and Z was gonna look like this. And realizing it can't, it can't look like this. And so in order for us to get margin and peace, it's probably gonna mean, yeah, maybe a move financially that is way better. Maybe the schools aren't as great, but most public schools have the ability, I mean, depending on the county of helping and, and your, and your kids are small. I mean, they're not even really in elementary school, if I heard you right. They're you.
Dave Ramsey
They're probably like two of them are very young.
Rachel Cruze
Yeah. So. So if anything, I would just want that stability of margin and being able for your husband to quit one of the jobs.
Dave Ramsey
Right.
Rachel Cruze
I mean, finding that again. But that's the housing situation and the location.
Dave Ramsey
But the physical, the physical attributes of the house you're in do not make a home. The location of the house you're in doesn't make a home. You and your husband as a couple make a home for those kids. And you know, most everyone listening to you calling in right now lived in a home that was a lot worse than you're living in now. When we were growing up, almost everyone listening.
Me especially.
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Paul's in Seattle. Hey, Paul, how are you?
Caller
Great, how are you? Thanks for having Me?
Dave Ramsey
Sure. What's up?
Caller
So I'm finding myself in between a rock and a hard place. About. I've been at my current job for about 20 years. I started when I was 20. I'm 40 years old now, and it's a warehouse job. Right. So I took it when I was younger because it was the best paying job at the time. I've invested with a pension there. It's union. It's great on paper. But about five years ago, I started my own landscaping business, lawn landscaping business. And it has exploded and it kind of took off to the point to where I've been doing both for about five years now. And I'm stuck in the spot where. How do you know when it's time to go? Because I find myself with a lot of fear of the unknown, of losing something that's so secure that you've been a part of for about 20 years. And.
Dave Ramsey
Well, boat anchors. Boat anchors are secure.
But they'll drown you. So what are you making of the day job?
Caller
I think we make about $38 an hour or something like that.
Dave Ramsey
So what do you make a year at the day job?
Caller
Probably about 80, 75. 80, I would say.
Dave Ramsey
And what do you do at the warehouse for $80,000?
Caller
We are union pickers, basically order selectors. We fulfill orders, we load them, you know, $80,000. Yeah, well, he's been there 20 years.
Dave Ramsey
I don't care. You're picking boxes for 80 grand. That's amazing.
Caller
Okay, but just like you said, I'm. All I'm doing is moving boxes, and I feel like my purpose.
Dave Ramsey
So what are you making at landscaping? What was your profit last year?
Caller
I mean, because I'm doing it both on side. I would probably say it's probably a little bit less than that. But you have to understand, I'm only doing it about 20 hours.
Dave Ramsey
No, that wasn't what I asked. What I asked is what you actually made on your tax return. What was your profit?
Caller
Probably about 60.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, good. All right.
Caller
And for me, you know, I don't have any. I don't have any debt in my business because it's all been. So all the money that I've been making, I've just been paying off all my equipment, you know. So our family.
Dave Ramsey
Do you have any other debt?
Caller
No, we have no household debt. We have no credit card.
Dave Ramsey
What does it take a month for your household to operate?
Caller
I would say on the most expensive end, maybe $4,500 a month.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, well, you can quit tomorrow.
Caller
My wife works at the Court so I can get on her medical. We have about $20,000 in savings for a nest egg. No credit card debt.
Dave Ramsey
You can quit tomorrow if you want.
Caller
I mean, and I. And I know this, but me being the sole provider and going into the unknown, it's. It's almost like I feel like I'm getting a divorce, you know, for 20 years, it's. I've almost been at that job longer than I've not.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, but she's not a.
Caller
No, it's not. It's just that getting the courage enough.
You know, getting the courage enough to. Well, do it.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah.
Caller
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
So here's the thing.
Caller
Very much.
Dave Ramsey
Let me. Let me stop you a second, okay? Your security does not come from someone else's ability to provide you a paycheck. That is an illusion.
Your security comes from your ability to get up, leave the cave, kill something, and drag it home. You have two methods of doing that now. One is you've been employed for a long, long time lifting boxes. One is you've grown your own business. That's two ways that you can get up, leave the cave, kill something, and drag it home. But the idea that I have a stable job. Stables are where they keep horses when they don't run.
So go, run. Okay? Go do this. It's an illusion. Your stability, your sense of security is an illusion because you're basing it on the fact that those goobers over there at the warehouse are going to write you a check and somehow the union's going to take care of you. Laugh, laugh. Cough, cough. Okay, so now let's go back to who's really going to take care of you. God.
And Paul.
Caller
Absolutely.
Dave Ramsey
Go run your landscaping business and make $130,000 a year and work a considerable less hours a week and enjoy your life.
Caller
And that's what I'm after. You know, I felt like, you know, I started when I was young, and my priorities, as I've gotten older, have changed drastically about what's important to me and just time with my family and just being able to prove to myself that I'm able to make a living for myself. But it's a very scary thing to do when you leave them and trying to get.
Dave Ramsey
It would be scary if you were making 30,000 at the landscaping. You're already making almost as much at landscaping as you are at the warehouse. If you told me you're making 20, I wouldn't tell you to quit.
Caller
Right?
Dave Ramsey
I would say, you know, get your hours up on the landscaping. Let's get the get the boat closer to the dock before you jump. But your boat's really close, the dock, you're just stepping. But you've been used to standing on the dock and you need to step into the boat, man.
Caller
And I know that, you know, I'm turning away so much business because I can only. I only have so much time.
Dave Ramsey
You don't have to convince me, Paul.
I'm already sold.
Rachel Cruze
I think he's convincing himself.
Caller
How do I convince my wife?
Rachel Cruze
Oh, what is she saying? What's she saying?
Caller
I love my wife to death. But you know, it's very one of. It's one of those things where fear. She is very much so afraid of change. And this is a very big change because we've constantly.
Dave Ramsey
Listen, no one's afraid of change when change is for the better. They're only afraid of change if they don't think it's gonna work. If you get a brand new nice car and it's better than the old one. No one says I'm afraid of change.
Right. They only fear change is if they think it's going to be worse. That's the only time people fear change. That's a misnomer. It's not true. So we love change when it's for the better. All of us do. So, yeah, I love change. And so all we've got to do is she's got to get her head around where money comes from. And it doesn't come from a quote, stable job. It comes from your ability to go into the marketplace and earn money. And dude, at any minute you could go get a job like the one you've got again. If this whole thing falls apart, whoopty doopty. Yeah, but I promise you it's not gonna fall apart. I promise you. You got five year track record. You're talking to a guy who can. Our company consults 10,000 small businesses. We coach a lot of small businesses. I would tell you the truth, you know I would. If this idea sucked, I would tell you it sucked. Yeah, it doesn't suck. This will work. Yeah.
Caller
And you know, being in, being in Seattle, the Evergreen State, you know, it was just one of those things. I really enjoyed it. You know, I did it as a side hustle because, you know, we were just looking income and it just exploded.
Dave Ramsey
Into something I could have already sold. I'm already sold. Already sold. You don't have to sell me. You just got to talk to her about it. And the bottom line is, is you're going to be just fine. You're gonna be just fine.
Rachel Cruze
Yeah. How much does she make, Paul?
Caller
She probably about as much as me. I mean, I would say she's probably in this 70.
Dave Ramsey
You know, you're gonna have $150,000 household.
Rachel Cruze
Income almost immediately and double of what you guys need to run your household too.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, you're making a lot. And you've done really good with your finances. You're not in debt. You fund. Everything about this is stable, stable, stable, stable, stable. Hey, man, go do it. This is the time. Fly and be free. Please, please, please quit that awful job. Please.
Rachel Cruze
And he said he's the sole provider.
Dave Ramsey
Have you ever heard. He's not. He's not the sole provider.
Rachel Cruze
That's it. So she's.
Dave Ramsey
I mean, guys, guys, out there in America, if you've ever heard the term golden handcuffs, you just witnessed it, you've just heard the discussion. This is golden handcuffs. And it is a. It's a fallacy. So my favorite story on this is my grandpa lost a business in the Great Depression and he got a job at Alcohol Aluminum in the accounting department. He worked there 38 years because it was stable, because it was a good job, because he was scared and he couldn't. He didn't have.
Rachel Cruze
Yeah, you had an income after the Depression.
Dave Ramsey
He was happy to have a job and grateful to have a job. And my grandma was the same way. And he worked there until he retired. And he was a wonderful man. He was a wonderful man. So I printed the Financial Peace book and went out on my own after we went broke. And we're trying to get the Financial Peace book sold. And the publisher sent me an email one day that said, we just sold our 1,000,000th copy of Financial Peace. Then my phone rang and it was my grandmother. And she said, I was praying for you this morning. I think you need to get a job.
Isn't that sweet? She's so sweet.
Rachel Cruze
It was like you're not Dave's. Dave is not working writing books.
Dave Ramsey
Well, I'm just worried about you. I mean, you're self employed and it's not stable.
Rachel Cruze
Go get them, Paul.
Dave Ramsey
I love entrepreneurs. Don't forget, guys, I started my company on a card table myself. So I know what it's like to have people counting on you, your team, your family, not to mention your customers. And when you're the one signing the paychecks, you can't afford to fly blind. But I'll be honest. Early on, one thing that nearly sunk us was wasting time with spreadsheets that didn't add up because Business units didn't talk to each other. I finally told my team, just fix it. And they did. We got netsuite. That was years ago and we've never looked back. See, netsuite isn't just for tech giants. It's built for growing businesses like yours. Over 40,000 businesses already run on NetSuite, including a lot that started just like you. And now with built in AI, NetSuite is helping them even more. It's one system connected to every part of your business. For real time insights, not guesswork. NetSuite AI flags inventory issues, cash flow risks, even supplier delays before they become problems. So you can trust the data, stop wasting time and make the right decisions faster. Take a free product tour today@netsuite.com Ramsey that's netsuite.com Ramsey.
Steve is in Raleigh. Hi Steve. How are you?
Caller
I'm doing fine. It's great to be with you guys.
Dave Ramsey
You too. How can we help?
Caller
So I'm 62 years old and I've been trying to think about retirement.
Dave Ramsey
The things that are holding me back.
Caller
Are, well, health insurance is one thing and also the fact that no money will be coming in, but all money will be going out. And I'm having a hard time getting comfortable with that. And what I really want is somebody to tell me that I can stop.
Dave Ramsey
What do you mean no money will be coming in? You mean you won't be earning an income?
Caller
That's right.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. And so do you have a pension? Do you have a 401k nest egg?
Caller
Yeah, yeah. I've got 401ks and IRAs and all that stuff.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. No pension?
Caller
No pension.
Rachel Cruze
How much is in all those accounts?
Caller
3.5 million.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. All right. Well, if no money's coming in, it's just because you're not taking any of it is all. Okay. Because let's just be. What do you make a year?
Caller
175.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. Way to go, man.
Rachel Cruze
I'm proud of you, Steve.
Dave Ramsey
I assume you started with nothing and became a multimillionaire. Yep. I'm very proud of you. That's amazing. American dream is not dead. Gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Steve. So now. So you understand that 3.5 invested in good growth stock mutual funds, if it averaged 10% would be 350k.
Caller
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
Income that it produces without touching the nest egg.
Caller
Right.
Dave Ramsey
Which is twice what you make now.
Right.
Caller
I guess that, you know, they're still.
There. Still. You know, there's some years it's gonna be up, some years it's gonna be down. What I do in the down years.
Dave Ramsey
Use some of it.
Caller
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, so the, the down years very seldom are below 5%.
Find a time that the stock market made under 5%. The number of times in the last 30 years. Hardly ever. Right. Okay. Like maybe two. And so you use a little bit of the 3.5 maybe, but maybe don't take the whole 350 off. Maybe take 200 off and let it grow by 150 to cover the down years.
Caller
Right.
Rachel Cruze
See, do you guys.
Dave Ramsey
It's impossible unless you lose your mind and join Congress. For you to go through this money before you die.
Rachel Cruze
Is your house paid off and everything? Steve, Any debt?
Caller
No, no debt. House paid.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. How long you been married?
Caller
You know, I'm not married.
Dave Ramsey
What is it you want to do with the rest of your life?
Caller
I've still got to figure that out. I would like to travel some, you know, life events. Recent, somewhat recent life events have made me realize that what I should be doing or what I feel like I should be doing is spending time with people that I love.
Dave Ramsey
Yep. And people that love me. Yep.
Caller
And the whole, you know, pushing paper around is not a good use of my time.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. Anymore. What do you do for a living?
Caller
I'm an attorney.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. All right, cool.
Rachel Cruze
Do you have family, Steve, around?
Caller
Yeah, yeah, I've got a brother and sister.
Rachel Cruze
Okay, that's great.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. Well, I'll tell you two things. One is, yes, you're in excellent financial condition. You've done a wonderful job and you're able to retire. And if you pulled off 200 and let it grow by 150 a year, this would run in perpetuation. And I don't know who you're going to leave the 3.5. 3.5, 3.5, 3.0. 4 million. Oh, four and a half million. Because it's going to keep growing because you're not going to use it all. So who are you going to leave all that to? So I easily. This is a no brainer equation. You're easily able to quit. Then I will also tell you because I'm your age, I'm 65, I'm a little older. And that you have friends and I have friends who. Retirement wasn't good to them emotionally.
They didn't know what to do with themselves. So I would develop something I'm going to do. I don't care what it is. And it doesn't have to be 80 hours a week. It doesn't have to be pushing paper. You do have a unique skill and license that you could probably do some things that would be unbelievable blessing to some ministries and to some nonprofits from an attorney's perspective and not strain you even a little bit, but give you something to lay your hand to the plow. So you know you're still planting some corn in this earth.
Caller
Right.
Dave Ramsey
And you just need something to do. Netflix doesn't cut it.
Caller
Yeah, that's true.
Dave Ramsey
You're right.
Caller
Yeah. That's going to be key for me is having a plan.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. So I think I would develop that before I pull the trigger on this. But the question you called here for is mathematically this is a no brainer.
Caller
Okay.
Dave Ramsey
It's 2x of a no brainer.
Caller
Right. Okay, that's good.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. You're in great shape. Sit down with your financial coach or your financial advisor and talk about how you can draw 200k off of this and make sure it's invested in something that's averaging what the market's averaging and you'll be just fine.
Rachel Cruze
And well done, Steve.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, man, that's amazing.
Rachel Cruze
It's amazing and it's interesting. Whatever happens, you know, we didn't ask, but he said, recent events have made me realize, oh, wow. And it's use those. Those are gifts, whatever that is, whether it was a tragedy or a gift, a blessing, whatever that thing was that caused this kind of change of heart to a degree. Listen to that. I mean, there's something, something in that for you.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's very smart to do that. And you ought to be doing that at all ages as you go along. But also when you have these certain appointments, God appointments that come across your path, you need to listen to them. You're right, Rachel. Very good, Jeffson. Wait a minute. Before we do that, do you ever feel like you're doing everything right with your money but you're not getting anywhere? You're not, Steve. Well, maybe you made changes and had a few wins, but it's still not working. Well, this is exactly what Jade Washroff's new book, what no one tells you about money.
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Rachel, Steve and our caller before that trying to quit the warehouse job and go in business with yourself. It is amazing that when you are resilient and people are talking a lot about resilience these days.
That things have been pretty easy for a long time around America. And when things are hard, people don't know what to do because they don't know how to do hard stuff. And so teach your kids to do hard stuff, boys and girls, and teach yourself to do hard stuff. Practice doing uncomfortable things because these are the actions of people that win when you do that over a long period of time. Take a job in the warehouse and you just get up and you go to work every day and you do your work and you stick to it. A lot of people don't have to stick to it. Does that guy? He gets stuck with it for 20 freaking years. When Steve has been an attorney and he just got it done, he keeps putting money aside, he builds up a 3 1/2 million dollar nest egg. Then when you stop this resilience, this pushing, this scratching and clawing and persevering, sometimes we don't know what to do. Like I finally, I got there, I went through the tape, I won the race or I finished the race, now what? And your brain and your life rhythm is so bent on resilience and scratching and clawing that it's hard to stop and take a step back and go, wait a minute, this worked. This landscaping thing's big enough.
Rachel Cruze
It worked. It's almost like three and a half million celebration of your hard work to enjoy it, enjoy the fruits, right? It's like people that call in and they don't know how to spend money because they've been saving their whole life. Same idea, right? It's a different muscle.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, you have to.
Rachel Cruze
But enjoy the fruits of what you've done.
Dave Ramsey
You really have to make a conscious thing. We see that a lot these days. A conscious effort to say if I've been busting it, to downshift and enjoy a little bit. Is it. That's a different gear. It's a different gear, but it's a good gear.
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Welcome back to the Ramsey show in the Fair Winds Credit Union studio. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey, personality number one best selling author and my daughter is my co host today. Open phones here at 888-825-5225. So Rachel, I was on Fox a little bit earlier and we're talking about affordability for housing and this people not being able to afford a house and the sense of depression about that and so forth. And so I've done a little bit of discussion and analysis on that and.
I want to let you guys out there know a couple things that, that we're thinking and we're seeing around here. There's kind of two sides to the coin. Side one of the coin is what could be done. Okay. So house prices are affected always by supply and demand and we have had an inventory shortage, more buyers than sellers for about 20 years.
We've had more buyers than sellers and anytime you have a shortage of anything, the price goes up. Pretty simple economics, Right?
Whether it's a Nintendo or a Cabbage Patch doll or a house, when there's a shortage of something, the price goes up. Too many people chasing too few goods kind of thing. So.
Then we start thinking about, okay, what could you do to boost inventory? Well, there are a couple of things that have been happening that have been harming inventory pretty considerably. And this is actually one of the few times you hear Dave say that the government could actually do something about this. Okay, One is we've got large REITs, real estate investment trusts, and American corporations and Chinese corporations buying thousands and thousands and thousands of single family homes and taking them off the market and putting them up for rent. I mean, like 5 or 600,000 in the past few years. It's a lot. It's not just a few. So one thing you could do, and I'm really against limiting free enterprise, but when.
The basic use of a single family home is for a family to get a toehold in the marketplace and to build wealth and to have a stable place to live, when that's being affected by foreign organizations and by out of control capitalism, then you got to put some limits on that. So some kind of a stoppage. Stop that. Another thing that's draining the market is Airbnbs.
Tens of thousands of single family homes, condos, co ops, whatever, are all townhomes. Yeah, they're bought by people at unrealistic prices only because they're turning them into a hotel and they're making tons of money. And people buying 8, 10, 20, 15 of them at a time.
And that did not exist 20 years ago. Okay. And so some kind of a limitation, not necessarily a complete stopping of that, but limiting the number of units that go off the market so that a young couple getting married have a house to buy instead of it turning into an Airbnb because somebody bought it. Nothing down using some stupid TikTok guy's formula to buy it. Okay, so, you know, some kind of limitation on that. But here's one. I was talking to Brian Buffini about this the other day. He's the top real estate broker. Oh yeah.
Rachel Cruze
Does he.
Dave Ramsey
He's in this, he's really into this stuff. And he and I were having a discussion on the back porch about it and he had such great ideas, he said, and I had not thought of this, I just thought it was brilliant. So it's been, I need to look it up when it was. But it's at least 20 years ago that the Capital gains law on single family homes was changed and it was a big deal. It used to be that you got a tax break a little bit on your personal residence and they changed it massively, whatever it was, 20 years ago, and said, okay, married, filing jointly, you can make up to a half million dollars. Single can make up to 250,000 tax free on the growth of your capital gain on your personal residence if you own it one year or more. Okay. And that was a big breakthrough. Well, guess what? Half a million dollars isn't much anymore. And he said raising that to a million would take a bunch of boomers.
Rachel Cruze
Out of their home.
Dave Ramsey
That would say, I would downsize, but I'm going to have to pay so stinking much tax that I'm not going to downsize and see if that level will sell. The next level sells to move up into that and the next level below that moves up, you create a domino down the price points. And so giving a million dollar exemption instead of a half million dollar exemption and even do it on all small ownership. So if you had two rentals and you wanted to dump them, and you can make up to a million dollars, you dump those back into the inventory pool for that sweet young couple to have a place to buy. But they don't want to get rid of that rental because the amount of taxes and there is no capital gains break on that except you're paying 15%, or if you make over 400,000, you pay 20%. So you get hammered. If you've got a house, like I've got a bunch of houses, I probably got 15 houses. Most of our real estate's not houses, but I got 15 or 20. And I would dump those stupid things because I got a lot of gain in them. But I'm not going to give the government a bunch of money. So instead I'm going to have to do some kind of 1031, roll them, and I'll get them back out of the market and turn them into commercial property. But most people won't do that. I actually know how to do it. Your husband and I will be doing that together.
But if you gave people a tax break on the rentals that they own and attack up to a million dollars, and on their personal residence, there'd be a bunch of houses going to market.
Rachel Cruze
Interesting.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. And that would stimulate this inventory. So if we could start doing dumping in. And he brought up one other thing that's really technical, but it's true. So when you do development, if you develop a subdivision, if you're a developer, you buy a piece of land and you put in a street and you put in the utilities and you go through all the stupid permitting and you put up with a stupid city and you go through all the stupid stuff about the trees and the stupid stuff about the creeks and all the stupid stuff you have to do to develop a subdivision. Right. It's ridiculous. Okay. When you finish with all that stupid stuff, all those expenses you can't expense, they have to be depreciated over a large number of years. So you could put $15 million in a sewer system for a subdivision and you don't get to write off $15 million. You get to write off a million dollars a year for 15 years or something like that.
Rachel Cruze
And if you up that and he.
Dave Ramsey
Said if you just said they can expense it instead of depreciating it, that would stimulate developers to start building subdivisions, which would stimulate. And so you could do that. But that's giving the evil businessman a tax break. Oh, my God, you liberals. But anyway, but this is how you get the thing started. You actually get tax breaks to people to cause them to do this stuff. Let me keep my money and I'll go do stuff. Yeah, that's what investors say and that's what people say when they're selling their house. I'm not selling this house. I'm not giving the government all that money. It's my money. And if you say, okay, you could keep your money, it'll stimulate the stinking inventory.
Rachel Cruze
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
The other side of the coin, though, and I've almost used up all my time here, and I'm not going to take two segments on this, is we're increasingly realizing that the 25 and 26 year old in America has been screwed by the large banks and the car companies like never before, like no generation before. So if you're 25 or 26, you've been screwed by the big banks like you've never been screwed.
Rachel Cruze
From the loans that they're having to the loans.
Dave Ramsey
You know, you cannot buy a house when you have a 1,200 doll car payment. When you have a student loan that's $85,000 and you got credit card debt coming out your ears. Record credit card debt. Record car debt. Record debt, debt, debt, debt, debt. And then you sit there and whine, you can't buy a house because you got victimized by these people. You set yourself up for it. You signed up for the trip, baby. But you've been screwed by the Citibanks. What's in Your wallet. The money that's going to Citibank should have been going to buy you a house.
Rachel Cruze
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Caller
All.
Rachel Cruze
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Dave Ramsey
Jeff's in Texas. Hey Jeff, how are you?
Caller
Good. How are y' all today?
Dave Ramsey
Better than we deserve. What's up?
Caller
Hey. I'm trying to figure out what I should do with my house to move along with my debt. Snowball. I work out of town. I'm probably home in my house about 60 days a year, rest the time. I'm in my camper. And so I'm trying to figure out if I should sell my house, rent it out to renters or just keep it.
Dave Ramsey
You're single?
Caller
Yeah, no, I'm married with two kids.
Dave Ramsey
They're in the camper.
Rachel Cruze
What are y' all doing in the camper? What's. Is it travel? Is it work?
Dave Ramsey
Work?
Caller
Yeah, I'm in the oil and gas industry, so I'm not traveling for work.
Rachel Cruze
How much is the, how much is the house worth?
Caller
I think we could probably sell it for about 265. I think it's around. Yeah, about 265, 270.
Rachel Cruze
What do you make a year?
Caller
Take home? 145.
Rachel Cruze
Okay. Part of me would have you keep it just to have a piece of, have a home, you know, a piece of real estate.
Dave Ramsey
How old are you?
Caller
32 and the last 31.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. So I think the big deal is we don't want to make a decision based on the snapshot that is the moment. Let's instead look at the field, the film strip and see how this film's going to end. So what are you going to be doing in 10 years.
Caller
Well, I'm hoping, you know, another three to five years in this industry and then go home with everything paid for is kind of my goal.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah.
Caller
And then at that time, my kids would start school and the wife could.
Dave Ramsey
Go back to work. Keep it.
Caller
And then.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, you keep.
Caller
Paid for. Keep it.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, you keep it.
Caller
Okay.
Dave Ramsey
Because that's what you. That's why you're keeping it. Not for. Not for its current use. You're keeping it for where this is going.
Rachel Cruze
And you guys want to be in that area. Jeff, do you think if you were to. If you were to forecast it.
Caller
Okay, it's definitely a good area. It's got a good school district. Definitely bought it to begin with.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah.
Caller
But. So you keep it. Even if, like, if I sold it, I'd be able to pay off the other 40,000 in debt, which.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, you make. You make 140,000. You can pay that off.
Caller
Okay. So. Because I figured I can pay everything else off Besides camper in 10 months. And the camper, it's. It's got a lot of done on it, too. About 84,000.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. Yeah, that's going to be a problem. The campers is the expense.
Caller
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. That's a cost of you. Of your career. Your career costs you money. And the campers, you know, the loss of value in that thing, because those things go down in value, like, faster than anything on the planet.
Caller
It.
Dave Ramsey
This is going to just like. Like when you're done, you're going to be with cousin Eddie.
Rachel Cruze
Yeah. So I would just hate to.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah.
Rachel Cruze
To sell an asset like a house that's going to go up in value to pay for something that's going to go down in value.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah.
Rachel Cruze
So.
Caller
So you. What about renting it? Would you. Would you consider renting?
Dave Ramsey
No, I don't think I would. I think I just. I think I would enjoy my house when I can get home and use it. And there might be some times that the family stays and you go out for two weeks and work, work and let them enjoy the stability of the house just to. Living in a freaking camper.
Caller
Yeah. It's so nice to go home and have room and space.
Dave Ramsey
Amen.
Caller
Even though the camper's big.
Dave Ramsey
I know.
Caller
But not spacious.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. This one's not gonna roll away. Yeah. I mean, I. It's. That it matters. It matters. I think it's gonna be good for the psychology of your relationship with your wife and your kids for them to have a solid home base, to touch base in and to rest a bit little and you can go out into a few weeks and come back and occasionally they can go out with you in the camper and come back and then you just, you continue to bust it. What you're doing is paying a price to get to a place. What you're doing now, you have no intention of doing the rest of your life.
Caller
Correct? Yeah. And the company I'm with is based where I live, so there's maybe an opportunity to go, you know, tell them I'm done in the field and hopefully try to work from the home office there.
Dave Ramsey
I would start. Start having those discussions and say three to five years, what classes do I need to take? What mentorship program do I need to be in to be able to come home in three to five years? I'm going to bust it. I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing. I'm not quitting. I just need to, I need. This is my plan and I want to make sure you guys have a plan too that matches my plan.
Caller
Yes, sir.
Dave Ramsey
I start talking to your leadership team about that because they know that you guys don't do this stuff for us.
Yeah. There's a shelf life on what you do.
Right?
Caller
Yes, sir.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. I mean, there's not any 65 year olds much doing what you're doing.
Caller
Yeah, correct.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, that's what I mean. So they're used to people churning out or churning up over time. And I'd want to get. I just want to get dialed in with that and get aligned with them on what I need to be doing to get that opportunity so that I've got a place to go. Not next month, maybe not next year, but in three to five years I'm gonna be doing something different. And so let's be working that out. Yeah, I'd keep it, Jeff. It's a good question. It's an interesting question. I don't know if I've ever thought about that that way. But if he had said, look at.
Rachel Cruze
That, with truck drivers. That lives.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. If he had said 15 years, I might have said sell it.
Rachel Cruze
Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But three to five.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. And the little. They got a place to. They got a home base they can stay in. Yeah, that's cool. Yep, Yep, yep, yep. Michael's in San Diego. Hey, Michael.
Caller
Hey, Dave, Rachel. How are you guys?
Dave Ramsey
Great. How can we help?
Caller
I have a bit of a career question that I need advice on. I recently took a completely different career path and a different job that pays about $30,000 more a year to try to help my Wife and I get out of baby step two a little bit faster.
Dave Ramsey
Cool.
Caller
But I'm noticing. Yeah, yeah, I know we're exc. But I am noticing some pretty kind of severe red flags about this new position there. Every. It's a director of sales position.
Everybody in this department is new. The turnover is extremely high, and I already have people there that are very upset that I've only been there for about a month.
Dave Ramsey
What are they upset about?
Caller
Kind of.
Well, my sales reps, they have zero leads. There's literally no one doing any kind of marketing.
Dave Ramsey
And were they promised leads?
Caller
Yeah, to a certain degree. It's an expectation that they're to make a certain amount of phone calls per day, and they can't even meet those phone calls per day because there's nothing in our CRM tool for them to work on.
So I'm concerned about, like, long term.
Dave Ramsey
Is this a new company?
Caller
No, this company has been around for a significant period of time. They went through a transition recently.
Dave Ramsey
This doesn't sound like an integrity problem. It sounds like a competence problem. Problem.
Caller
I. Yeah, I would. I would agree. I'm just more concerned about, like, long term. Longevity.
Right.
Like with this career, should I stick around for a year or two? Kind of. See.
Dave Ramsey
Well, if I'm gonna stick around, I'm gonna work on the problems and I'm gonna get some help from leadership. Working on the problems?
Caller
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
Just sit here and watch the thing burn down?
Caller
No, no. And. And of course I agree with you, but I've already burned. Brought some things to leadership, and they're not really open to discussion.
Dave Ramsey
Wait a minute. We don't have any leads in the CRM tool. You want these guys to make calls, and there's no calls for them to make. And leadership says I don't want to talk about it?
Caller
Pretty much.
Dave Ramsey
Why? That's weird. Do you want to lose your whole sales team?
Caller
Yeah, it's. Again, it's very odd to me. And I started looking at, like, who's doing the marketing? How's the marketing handled? Can we get out into the community? I've started to ask these questions, and the response I got was that's why your predecessor is no longer here.
Dave Ramsey
Because he has questions.
Is that what he meant? Is that what that means about.
Caller
Yeah. About the leads in particular? Yes.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. Look for a job.
Caller
Okay.
Rachel Cruze
Bizarre.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. You need to get in the job job.
Caller
Okay.
Dave Ramsey
This one's not going to last. You're going to get fired.
Caller
Yeah, My. My old job will have me back, right?
Dave Ramsey
No, I don't want you to go take a pay cut. I want you to make more money. Let's get a new job making 30,000 more than you're making now.
Caller
Okay.
Dave Ramsey
Only this time, it's working for competent leaders.
Caller
Yeah, well, thank you guys. I appreciate it.
Dave Ramsey
Is this an epic leadership fail or what? This sounds like corporate America beyond believe. The last guy that asked questions is no longer here. We can't find his body. Don't ask questions that'll get you killed. What kind of corporate crap is that? That's just crap.
Rachel Cruze
Is it a large company, Michael?
Caller
Yes, it is. Yeah, it's a large company.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, they're large enough to absorb this level of crap.
Rachel Cruze
And this one department that you happen to be stuck in.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, really? Good God, man. Man, what an corporate idiot. Well, the last guy that asked questions doesn't work here anymore. Don't ask any questions. Good God.
That's classic. It's like office space.
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Rachel Cruze
All right, today's question comes from Greg in New York. My wife and I are approaching our 60s, debt free, including our home, and have a net worth of over 2.5 million, including $125,000 in a high yield savings. We bring home about $14,000 a month and our expenses are about 8, 500. I plan to partially retire from my job soon by cutting back my hours. My wife wants to keep working for a while, bringing home about $3,000 a month with benefits. We've agreed to go gazelle intense Again by cutting expenses and living like poor college kids, only this time enjoying home cooked dinners instead of ramen noodles to help us with the transition. Does that make sense at this stage or are we in a good enough position to start shifting towards balance and enjoyments?
I think you have, I think you have some margin. I think you're okay.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. Greg, you guys need to redo your math. Okay. Two and a half million.
Is the net worth, and so it's not the actual number, but if you invested two and a half million in a decent growth stock mutual fund, you would make $250,000 a year.
And not touch the 2.5 million. Okay, now all of that's not invested because some of this is the paid for home. It's part of the net worth. So that's not the real number. But the point is you're not utilizing in this math the income off of the nest egg that you've so diligently built. And so start taking some income off of your nest egg that you so diligently built. Built. And you don't have to take that. You don't touch the nest egg. Just take some of the income off of it, have it invested decently in good mutual funds. And then whatever they make, throw that in the pot and, you know, then $3,000 a month just becomes kind of cute. That your wife is making. That's just kind of cute. It's unrealistic. So, no, you do not need to act like college kids. And no, you don't need to go gazelle intense. No, you're just fine. You're fine. You got plenty of money and you're making plenty of money.
Rachel Cruze
So, yeah, I mean, if Your expenses are 8,500 and you're making 20amonth, you're fine. Like, you're fine.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. Hello. Yeah. And you know, he's not going to quit. He said, we're bringing home 14. She's making three, he's making 11. He's going to cut back his hours. They're probably still going to be at 8,500.
Rachel Cruze
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
If not more income without touching the nest egg.
Rachel Cruze
That's right.
Dave Ramsey
Without taking the income off the nest egg. So, yeah, you got plenty of room.
Rachel Cruze
You don't need to go gazelle intense.
Dave Ramsey
You have transitioned, sir, from the acquisition mode to the enjoyment mode. You've been building the nest egg. Now it's time for breakfast. Crack the nest egg and begin eating, Sir.
Rachel Cruze
Oh, I was like, where's the, what's the breakfast?
Dave Ramsey
Well, you got to do something with These eggs, right? Gotta do something with the eggs. The golden eggs from the golden goose.
Rachel Cruze
That's right.
Dave Ramsey
The goose is big, fat and sassy. Get some of the eggs.
Rachel Cruze
Okay, enjoy, enjoy.
Dave Ramsey
Let's ride the eggs.
Rachel Cruze
Good job. Greg.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. You didn't call me up with no money. And I'm trying to retire because I deserve to. Cause I'm old. No, that was not what you called and said. Way to go. Proud of you. Very well done. Jackie's in Kansas City. Hey, Jackie, how can we help? Hi, Dave.
Caller
Hi, Rachel. Thanks for taking my call.
Dave Ramsey
Sure. How can we help?
Caller
I'm calling cause I'm preparing for a divorce after 20 years as a stay at home mom. And I need some clarity on how to navigate the finances, particularly with the house and asset division.
Dave Ramsey
Wow. Sorry. What happened?
Caller
My husband has a sex addiction and it's been chronically unfaithful to me. I've tried to reconcile multiple times and this most recent time, I'm done.
Dave Ramsey
Wow.
Rachel Cruze
I'm sorry, Jackie.
Dave Ramsey
That's awful. How old are the kiddos?
Caller
I've got 19, 16, 14 and 10. All boys.
Dave Ramsey
Wow. All right, and what does he make?
Caller
He makes about 220 a year.
Dave Ramsey
And.
What is. How much debt do you all have?
Caller
Just 11,000 on his truck, which he's planning to keep. My van is paid for.
Dave Ramsey
What about the house?
Caller
The house is approximately worth 550,000. We owe 143,000 and the payment is 1800amonth with two and a quarter percent.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, and.
What does he have in a 401k?
Caller
We have $160,000 in investments and between two Roth IRAs, we have 270,000.
Dave Ramsey
Okay.
So 400 grand.
Rachel Cruze
Okay.
Dave Ramsey
430. Okay. Okay.
Caller
So my big question, Dave, is I don't have any income. So even assuming the mortgage would be difficult, I'm in grad school to become a counselor and I don't have a sense of what alimony might be, but child Support is around 1,800 to $2,000 a month. And so qualifying for a mortgage is.
Dave Ramsey
So how far before you finish your degree?
Caller
Two and a half years still.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. All right. Well, apparently you've not been talking to an attorney yet.
Caller
Not yet. I've decided, but I, before I go, an attorney. And.
Dave Ramsey
Well, the attorney's gonna tell you better than I can in your state what your state law is going to afford you on this. So.
Caller
So.
Dave Ramsey
And of course, it's also what you guys can mediate as well. So a friend of mine that used to do divorce counseling Says divorce turns a marriage into a business transaction. So this now is. Despite all of the pain, the anger, the angst, the worry, despite all of the heartbreak, this is now a math problem.
Caller
Yes, that's why I was calling. Yeah. Because I think if I keep the house that I'll be cash poor. Equity.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. If he took this other stuff and you took the equity in the house, I'd be close to an even swap. And then he pays child support and alimony. That would not be unusual, but I'm not gonna recommend that. Okay, so what we found is this.
Doing this for a long, long time. Mom wants to hold. Mama Bear wants to hold onto the house. Cause the kids have been through enough. And making them move and change schools is. Is just too much because they feel like that's the last straw. Like the kids can't. They're not resilient enough to make it through that. Actually, they are because their world's already upside down. The house and school is a minor part of their world, really. But in Mama Bear's mind, it often feels like it's a bigger part than it actually is. And so she takes the house that she can't afford to protect the children from the last little bit of pain that she can, and. And it becomes a curse rather than a blessing. And so that's what I don't want to do here. Yours is not super bad because you don't owe that much on it.
Caller
Right.
Dave Ramsey
And so that makes it. And it's not super expensive.
Rachel Cruze
Yeah. Eighteen hundred bucks. Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
So, you know, if you could end up with a chunk of money and the house and, you know, like not an even split. In other words.
You know, you might could make it. Otherwise, you're going to think about. If you're going to try to keep the house, you're going to have to think about a career while you're finishing up your counseling.
Caller
Yes. Yeah, that was part of the question. Myers. I'm willing to work during grad school, but when I get to my internship, I'll be working 30, 35 to 40 hours a week. Just an unpaid internship.
Rachel Cruze
And how long is that for? Is that a semester long?
Caller
That'll be a full year. And so taking an additional 30. Ish.
Dave Ramsey
A lot of those, though, are paid. A lot of those are paid gigs. Yeah.
Caller
This particular program, the school that I'm in, that's an unpaid position.
Dave Ramsey
Well, let's think about a different way of doing that then.
Caller
Okay.
Dave Ramsey
Because if you could get paid to be an intern, that changes the equation too. A Little for you, doesn't change the whole thing, but it helps make the adjustments. So yeah, you've got to, you don't, don't let the illusion that the house is providing more for the children than it actually is puts you in a position that it damages the next decade of their life and yours.
Caller
Right, Right.
Dave Ramsey
So cut it loose if you have to, but I don't know what you're going to be able to come out of this with.
Rachel Cruze
And an eighteen hundred dollar mortgage though, you know, if you think about it, it's not bad. Renting and stuff could be around this. I don't know. There's a part of me that you may be paying that regardless, but you.
Dave Ramsey
Got to eat and you got to pay lights and insurance and you got no money coming in. So we got to have some money coming in and that's what, that's how we balance this out.
Rachel Cruze
Yeah. And the alimony could help if there's any of that child support. Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
20 years. Yeah. It's probably depend on the state. I don't know.
Rachel Cruze
I'm sorry, Jackie.
Dave Ramsey
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Are you sick and tired of working so hard but not getting anywhere? Feel like a rat in a wheel well? That's normal, but normal's broke. You don't have to live that Way Our every dollar budget app helps you find extra money every month and build you a personalized plan to beat debt and build wealth. In just 15 minutes you'll find thousands in hidden margin. You'll feel like you got a raise. I promise. Promise. Don't live normal when you can live like no one else. Start every dollar for free in the App Store or Google Play Ramones in Chicago. Hi, Ramon.
Caller
Hey Dave, how are you? How's it going?
Dave Ramsey
Better not deserve what's up.
Caller
All right, so in a nutshell, early 40s, about 190 in debt and I think it's accumulating still. Recently lost my job.
And beginning of October and you know, just trying to determine if, you know, this mountain of debt, if bankruptcy is the route as opposed to, you know, going deeper in debt while waiting for additional forms of income.
Dave Ramsey
Why would you go into debt while waiting on additional forms of income? Why don't you just go get something to do right now like it's Christmas time, lift boxes for FedEx and heat 1000%.
Caller
If they were to call me tomorrow based off the application that was submitted last week, I would do it. But as it stands as today there's no, no retail part time temporary rolls calling back at the moment.
Dave Ramsey
That's strange.
Rachel Cruze
Okay, what's the 190 in D debt? What does it consist of?
Caller
Yeah, so it's about 140, 150 in. In student loans, about 20 in credit card debt and about 30 from a personal loan.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, got bad news for you.
Rachel Cruze
Student loans aren't bankruptible.
So it would, it would only. Yeah. So 50 of that would only.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah.
Rachel Cruze
Be wiped away in a bankruptcy.
Dave Ramsey
And that's not that you can probably clear that. Is that all that stuff? The 50 behind, are you behind on all of it?
Caller
Yes, I'm current, but still a little bit. The credit card usage is high and so I did kind of take heed to some of the advice that I heard a while back on your show which was to put, you know, the higher end.
Amounts on auto pay for minimum payments just to keep it active while trying to chop away at the smaller ones ones. And I was doing that for a while but then I had a series of job losses. So prior to the job that was, I was just laid off from in October.
Dave Ramsey
What were you laid off from in October?
Caller
I was a fundraiser. So a director of development for a not for profit.
Dave Ramsey
Why were you laid off?
Caller
There was a leadership change and so the, the board of directors made some decisions on leadership roles.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. And why did you lose the other jobs again?
Caller
Laid off. So this was my, my traditional career background is in the advertising industry.
And you know, it's high turnover and high service turnover in that industry. And, and my client didn't renew with the agency and so the agency couldn't afford to give me a salary already.
Rachel Cruze
Are you married?
Caller
No, but I am engaged with two children.
Rachel Cruze
Okay, okay.
Caller
One and five.
Rachel Cruze
Okay.
Dave Ramsey
Now bankruptcy doesn't solve your problem. You have a career crisis. You don't have a debt crisis. You got a lot of debt. But the cord debt is not what's killing you, it's that you have no income.
Caller
Correct.
Dave Ramsey
And so, you know, I don't want to treat the wrong problem.
The real problem, the core problem, is income and consistent income and at the moment any income. And that's your core issue. So that's what I want to spend all of my calories on. And if you just took all of the debt payments and threw them in the trash and didn't pay them for two months, that's not the end of the world. You can get right back up once you start making some money again. What were you making at the last couple of years? Gig.
Caller
100,000.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. Okay.
Caller
And the gig prior to that was 165.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. So I was thinking you were a six figure guy. Just listening to you. So I think you will be again. I just don't know when and I don't know what. And at this moment it feels scary and uncertain. But no, you're not bankrupt, you're just unemployed. So, and so we got to solve that. And, and by the way, the, like Rachel said, the, the bulk of your debt is not bankruptible anyway. And if you can make 100, $150,000 a year, it'd be silly to file bankruptcy on 50 grand.
Because that's the essence of what you'd be doing. Follow me.
Caller
Yeah, I do appreciate that.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. So tell you what, hang on, I'm going to, I'm going to connect you with Ken Cole Coleman's book Finding the Work youk're Wired to do and the Proximity Principle book, which is a really good book on landing a position of some kind. And the best thing you can do is what you've been trying to do, it sounds like legitimately, and I do believe you, is to land something immediately just to get your hand to something instead of sitting and worrying.
Rachel Cruze
Yeah. And with the job market, even listening to Ken, just putting in applications online really isn't going far these days. So it is going in person Finding someone that works somewhere, that knows an open position. So, like, there's some strategy. Cause it is. The job market's tough these days. I mean, I mean, the retail side, I'm not sure. But when it comes to like a full on career like what you're talking about, it takes more than just an application online or finding, you know, a LinkedIn thing.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. And I'm not even sure to get on with FedEx just filling out the applications enough. I think I'm gonna bother some people over there and try to get over, you know, I'm ready to start today. You ready to start? Let's go. What do you got to do? I mean, they probably need somebody today. I mean, it's Black Friday. It's the, you know, everything's moving again. So retail is not running slow. Sales are not bad. So I'm, you know, I don't know where they're all going, but sales are not bad. So. Interesting. Very interesting. Josh is in Ohio. Hey, Josh, how are you.
Caller
Doing? Good.
Dave Ramsey
Are you guys better than I deserve? What's up?
Caller
So I'm going to receive $400,000 roughly next summer from my dad's farm being sold. I want to treat this money with wisdom and not blow it. What's the best way to use a lump sum like this? To build stability, invest wisely, and secure my future.
Dave Ramsey
Good for you.
Caller
Passed away back in 2019.
Dave Ramsey
I'm sorry.
How much debt do you have, Joe? Josh.
Caller
I have $18,000 between two cars.
Credit card and student loans. And then I have. I have multiple medical bills. I'm not exactly sure what those equal, but I guess around 20,000.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, so 40,000 clears your debts.
Right?
Caller
Yes.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. You. Oh, you own a home?
Caller
No, we rent.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. All right.
Rachel Cruze
How old are you, Josh?
Caller
30.
Dave Ramsey
What do you make?
Caller
Roughly 77,000 a year. I drive truck, so it's a little different each year.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, so what I would do is pay off your debts, build an emergency fund, and I would set the rest of it aside in a mutual fund and forget that you have it. Get with a Ramsey Smartvestor Pro and it sounds like you need about 50,000 out of this. So put about 350 in a mutual fund and just let it sit there and pretend like you don't have it and let it sit there and grow a little bit. And you keep working with no debt payments. I want you to start saving money and no debt payments. I want you to get on a. On a detailed written budget with your wife and use this opportunity to change you not have the money change everything. It's not enough money to fix your life. It's a lot of money. It's more than you've ever seen. But it's not enough to make it where you don't have to do anything. You got to get. You got to be smart from this point forward. As you said, wise. And so I'm going to send you a copy of the book, the Total Money Makeover. And I want you guys to work that system.
Rachel Cruze
Yeah. Without the 400. I think that's really important because you know, used to credit cards, car payments, like that's the norm. And when you just wipe it out, there's no emotional sacrifice at that point. So you guys have to have a standard of living that you can live on with your income. And you guys feel good about creating these new money habits.
Dave Ramsey
We're not borrowing money anymore.
Rachel Cruze
Yep. And then if you choose to use that money, you know, three years down the road to buy a house or to use it for your life, you have good money habits in place. So working on your money habits is going to be really, really important.
Caller
Josh, Sam.
Dave Ramsey
Welcome back to the Ramsey show in the Fair Winds Credit Union studio. Rachel Cruz, number one best selling author, Ramsey personality. My daughter is my co host. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Elizabeth is in Arkansas. Hi Elizabeth, how are you?
Caller
Hey, Dave and Rachel.
Dave Ramsey
Hey, what's up?
Caller
Okay, so I am a newly single mother of seven children in the process of getting a divorce and I do not make enough money to survive and I need to know what to do next.
Rachel Cruze
My gosh. Where are you guys in the divorce process?
Caller
We have only just had one hearing about custody.
Dave Ramsey
Is he writing?
Caller
No.
Dave Ramsey
Why?
Caller
I have not received a dime.
Dave Ramsey
Why?
Caller
Because he doesn't think that he should.
Dave Ramsey
It's not up to him. It's up to your attorney to get off his butt and talk to the judge about sending the woman with seven children some money.
Caller
Yeah, well, right now we're having the kids half and half.
Dave Ramsey
I don't care.
Caller
I get them a week. Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
He needs to be writing checks to you in any state.
Caller
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
Was your attorney a wuss or not smart?
Caller
I'm beginning to wonder.
But I don't have the funds to get anyone else at this point, so.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, you, you need to pick up the phone and chew their ass.
Caller
Yeah.
Rachel Cruze
Can you say that?
Dave Ramsey
I just said that. I mean, I got a lady with seven children that's not getting supported by her deadbeat. Soon BX and the Attorney sitting on their thumb.
I can't think of anything that makes me madder than attorneys who sit on their thumbs.
Caller
Yeah. And so currently I have.
I have $6,550 in student loans. That's what I. I was able to get that. I graduated this summer with an EMT license and I got that so I could move out.
Dave Ramsey
How old are the kids? How old are your children?
Caller
Eight to 15. Two sets of twins.
Dave Ramsey
When are you starting the EMT gig?
Caller
Well, there is a possible opening in January, but again, because of the situation with the kids.
It'S going to be really difficult for me to get a, like a vanilla EMT job because it's usually 48 on 96 off. And I don't. I want. I have the kids. I have to.
Dave Ramsey
You know, I think it's very doable.
48, you're on him.
Caller
Right. But again, he's. He's been very.
Dave Ramsey
I don't care what he wants. You seem to think he has control of this. He has no control. There are these neat things called laws.
When your attorney actually bows up and acts like an attorney.
No, definitely. Listen, not unusual at all for one of the spouses in a divorce that has child. Has co care custody with their children to be working for the fire department of the EMT and have 48 on, 96 off. That's a fairly normal rhythm. And to put the child care. The, the child custody arrangement to fit that rhythm is not unusual at all. It's done every day in divorce courts in America.
Caller
Okay. All right.
Dave Ramsey
When somebody has an attorney.
Caller
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. So. Yeah. So this guy. This guy is a. You're soon to be ex. Is a control freak, overbearing bully, isn't he?
Caller
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
And has been for how long?
Caller
17 of our 18 years.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, because you, twice in the conversation already gave him way more power than he actually has. Yeah, and two times I corrected you on it. You're following me. He really doesn't have. I mean, this is a. Yeah, this guy's.
He's so neutered, he doesn't even know it. He's got seven freaking children. The judge is going to mop the floor with him.
Assuming your attorney actually shows up for work.
Caller
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. So. Yeah. This is Elizabeth.
Rachel Cruze
Do you have the ability.
Dave Ramsey
I wouldn't want to be him walking in front of a judge.
Caller
Yeah, I'm sorry, Rachel, what was that?
Rachel Cruze
Do you have the ability to find someone new if you needed legal counsel? That's different.
Caller
For your sake, I don't think so. I actually had to borrow Money from my daughter to be able to pay the retainer. And I'm currently making $204 weekly doing what? Just in home care. I do in home care. And then when I can, I do substitute teaching. And that pays $91 a day.
Dave Ramsey
And he's not taking care of the kids at all. He's not doing any of the child custody right now at all?
Caller
Well, he's. He's got the kids every other week. With the exception of one of my oldest twins. She's at my house every week. Okay, so.
Dave Ramsey
So you could be working that entire week for a lot more than 204.
Caller
Right.
Dave Ramsey
And you need to be.
Caller
But the problem is, is the reason that my daughter is at our house is because she. She was suicidal and.
Going to her dad's was making it worse.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, I can't imagine. I can imagine. Is she not. Is she not safe at your house?
Rachel Cruze
Yes.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, then go work. The week that she. The week that he's. The rest of kids are gone. You go to work that week? Yeah, you got to.
Caller
She's. She is not supposed to be left alone.
Yet.
So that. That's been a challenge with that. But I have been working while they're at school.
Dave Ramsey
You have family in the area?
Caller
They're over an hour away.
My mother is a widow. She happened to work to survive herself. And then I have siblings, but basically everybody is just working paycheck to paycheck, and I don't want to be that anymore.
Dave Ramsey
Well, you are. Right now. You're just trying to eat. So Bubba needs to start writing some checks to you. You need to get on the weeks that the kids are gone. And if she needs to go stay with her grandmother that week. So somebody's watching the teenager. That's cool, right?
Caller
She wouldn't be able. She's in school though, and not right now.
Dave Ramsey
She's in Christmas right now.
Caller
Well, yeah, that's in a week and a half.
Christmas break.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. So, I mean, you've got to create some. In income. $204. I don't know. What are you eating on?
Caller
We. We did qualify for food stamps, and so that's. Food stamps is taking care of the food.
Some friends from church stepped up and helped out with some stuff that has helped cover gas because I'm driving the kids back and forth to their school.
And.
Rachel Cruze
What's he saying? Your husband, your ex, soon to be ex.
Caller
He's blaming me for everything.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. So listen, I want you to hang up and I want you to call your attorney and say If I don't start getting some checks immediately out of this guy to feed these seven children. We're over here on freaking food stamps and he has seven children. He's paying nothing. You're not doing your job.
Caller
Yeah, okay.
Dave Ramsey
Right now.
Caller
All right.
Dave Ramsey
Do your job.
Rachel Cruze
Elizabeth. I'm sorry. And hey, hold on the line. Christian's going to pick up. We have Aldi gift cards, Elizabeth. They're one of our sponsors. And so we'll hook you up with some of those.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, we'll get you some groceries. Going, kiddo.
Rachel Cruze
Oh, I'm so sorry, man.
Dave Ramsey
God, that pisses me off.
Many of you listen to the Ramsey show because you're sick and tired of getting nowhere with your money. You work too hard to live paycheck to paycheck with no money in the bank. But here's the deal. Just listening to the show won't change that. If you want different results, you have to do something different. We've helped millions of people save money, ditch debt and build wealth. And you can, too. But you got to have a game plan. And that begins with our get started assessment. Go to ramseysolutions.com start now. Take the free quiz and get your free step by step action plan plan. If you've had it with money stress and are ready to take control of your money for good, go to ramseysolutions.com startnow.
I still don't understand this. We have cyber Monday week. How is a Monday a week? I'm so confused.
Rachel Cruze
Shopping week.
Dave Ramsey
Cyber Monday week. Deals aren't over yet. We've extended the sale. It's longer than a week.
Rachel Cruze
We love it.
Dave Ramsey
Sales, $12 hardcover books, $12 assessments, $12 questions for humans decks and $6.99 for audiobooks and ebooks. This does end at the end of the week. Sunday 12.7ramseysolutions.com stick store or click the link in the description. Boys and girls, Daytona beach is on the line. Jenna is calling. Hi, Jana, how are you?
Caller
Hi, Dave and Rachel. Thank you for taking my call.
Dave Ramsey
Sure. What's up?
Caller
So my question is, is my. I'm 46. My husband is 43, and we have nothing saved for retirement and we don't own a house. Well, correction. We own a house, but it's a rental right now.
And we're thinking of selling it. And then my husband has about 100,000 in a tsp. Other than that, we have nothing saved. And I'm a little nervous.
Dave Ramsey
Well, I wouldn't be panicked, but I would be concerned.
Okay. Because if you keep doing what you've been doing, you're going to keep getting what you've been getting. I'd be concerned about that. But 46, I mean, you know, you got 20 years. You'll be to able.
Caller
Okay.
Dave Ramsey
If you get your crap together. Are you going to do it?
Caller
Absolutely.
Dave Ramsey
So what's the house? I don't understand. You have a rental house but you don't live in it?
Caller
Correct. It was.
Dave Ramsey
Where do you live?
Caller
Part of. We live in Daytona Beach.
Dave Ramsey
I know, but I mean, where do you. What's your house?
Caller
So we are renting.
Dave Ramsey
Why?
Caller
Because my husband had a job relocation.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, okay.
Caller
To Daytona Beach.
Rachel Cruze
Where's the rent?
Dave Ramsey
Why didn't you sell the other house?
Caller
My husband has some sentimental issues. It was his first house that he ever bought and he just didn't want to get rid of it. It actually was a.
Dave Ramsey
He should get rid of that and his old girlfriend's phone number. Both. Seriously, get rid of the house. That's stupid. There's a house I bought in college. I love the house. Oh, come on. Come on. Get rid of the house. It's not a blessing to your family.
Rachel Cruze
How much could you get for.
Dave Ramsey
You're renting now because you own a rental property.
Right? Yeah. Sell it. What's it worth?
Caller
We just had an appraisal done on it. It's 313.
Dave Ramsey
And what do you owe on it?
Caller
200.
Dave Ramsey
Great. Sell it. Buy you a house in Daytona Beach. 15 year fix where the payments no more than a fourth of your take home pay if you got other debt.
Caller
Yeah. So we're on baby step two right now. We're finishing it this month.
Dave Ramsey
Great, good. So if you finish baby step two and you sell this house and you buy a house with that money and then you have an emergency fund, you're on to baby step four. Right?
Caller
Right.
Dave Ramsey
Boom. I love this. And what's your household income.
Caller
Together? Well, my. My income kind of fluctuates a little bit.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, but I mean, what do you make a year? What do you all make a year? A year.
Caller
About 165 to 185.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, if you say 15% from 46 to 66 of 1 of $150,000, you're going to be multimillionaires.
Rachel Cruze
Jana.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, if you say 15% in baby step four, you said you knew what baby step two is. You know what baby step four is, right?
Rachel Cruze
Which is around 30,000 a year.
Dave Ramsey
30,000 a year? Year. For the next 20 years, you're going to be multi millionaires.
Pretty Cool. Pretty cool.
Rachel Cruze
I'm going to get.
Dave Ramsey
You going to put it in there?
Rachel Cruze
Yeah, I think we should.
Dave Ramsey
Let's get the exact number. But I mean, can't. I can't do 40 years in my head. But the. I'm not. It's probably. Okay, I'll give you my guess. Three and a half million.
Rachel Cruze
Okay, you're. I'm going to do 43 because that's you, Jana.
Dave Ramsey
Right now she's 46.
Rachel Cruze
No, she's 43.
Caller
46.
Rachel Cruze
Oh. Who's 43?
Caller
46? My husband.
Dave Ramsey
To 6 to 66. So we're gonna do 40. Just do 40 years at.
3,000Amonth. 2,500amonth is 30,000, 2500amonth. See what you get.
Rachel Cruze
We're gonna. 12%. People are gonna get mad about that.
Dave Ramsey
But we're sorry. Get mad.
Rachel Cruze
4.1 million 5 wasn't bad.
Dave Ramsey
It's a good guess, Dave.
Rachel Cruze
Did you get that though, Jana? It's pretty good.
Caller
So our leftover income is right now. And that's once we're done in, this month will be $7,415.72. So we only need.
Like 4,000 to live on.
Dave Ramsey
You need $2,500 a month going into retirement in baby step four. Baby step five is you need to save some towards kids college. Baby step six is you need to pay off this house I told you to go buy.
Rachel Cruze
And that is working till 67, by the way. That was the number in the investment calculator. But all that to say, say you're.
Dave Ramsey
Going to have three and a half to four million.
Rachel Cruze
But you guys have to. You have to start making some grownup moves. And keeping a house for sentimental value.
Dave Ramsey
Is not one of them.
Rachel Cruze
You know what I mean? Like, you. You guys kind of have to face reality too, right, Jana? I mean like it's a house. He needs to. To feel that and see that.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, dump it. And you guys get your house bought and start working this plan. It's going to work.
Rachel Cruze
You're doing great.
Dave Ramsey
It's going to work. And you know what's interesting? Interesting. Let's go back to the beginning of this call. Did I not hear a little bit of panic and emotion in your voice that you were going to retire on Alpo?
Yeah.
Caller
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
And I'm sitting here going, we don't.
Rachel Cruze
Need to make you emotional. What's going on?
Caller
I mean, I just. I'm frustrated because up until this point we've been paying seven and a half thousand dollars of a month for my mom to be in an assisted living. And she blew her entire retirement and sent $500,000 across seas to a Nigerian prince of some sort. Oh, my gosh. So I am sitting here supporting her, and it's frustrating to me. And then I look at her and I look at me in the mirror and I'm like, you're gonna be just like her.
Rachel Cruze
Not Jana. No, you're not.
Dave Ramsey
Then why would you be like her? You just figured out that's a dumb idea.
Rachel Cruze
You're not going to send half a million dollars to a Nigerian prince. Ja. Say that to yourself. I am not going to send half a million dollars. You know, you're not making the same decisions your mom made already. You guys are already working your way out of debt. You're already gaining financial ground.
Dave Ramsey
Let me tell you what normally happens where a family is dysfunctional with money.
Caller
Okay.
Dave Ramsey
The kid goes the other way. Too far. Not the same way. Very few people follow their. In their. In their broke parents footsteps. They go the other direction and oftentimes too far where it's dysfunctional. And that's in Rachel's book, Know Yourself.
Rachel Cruze
Yeah. Which hasn't really happened for. It's not like they're over savers. They're not. You know what I mean?
Dave Ramsey
So, like a lot of people are.
Rachel Cruze
They are.
Dave Ramsey
If they grow up and their parents are dysfunctional.
Rachel Cruze
Very much so.
Dave Ramsey
They don't heal from that and they go bananas.
Rachel Cruze
Yeah. And in Jan is case.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. Janet, all you got to do is just follow the baby steps. You're not even going to be close to your mother.
Rachel Cruze
Even if it was half of what we just pulled out. That's $2 million at retirement.
Dave Ramsey
You're fine.
Rachel Cruze
You guys are going to be great. You really are. You got to make some moves away.
Dave Ramsey
From the Nigerian prince.
Rachel Cruze
Yeah. Oh, no, man. They prey on the elderly, though. I'm not kidding you. That is like the scam of the century.
Dave Ramsey
That's been around since before the Internet.
Rachel Cruze
No, it was like the forward, the forward, the forward.
Dave Ramsey
Snail mail. I used to get the Nigerian prince offer in the mail. Snail mail. Before there was email, before there was an Internet.
Rachel Cruze
And the worst is the dating catfish stuff happening. People in a relationship with someone.
Dave Ramsey
I never understood why anybody wanted to date a catfish. I'm so confused.
Caller
Oh, my gosh.
Rachel Cruze
Such a boomer.
Dave Ramsey
Man. We've got some interesting ones on here. Jade sniffed one out the other day on the air.
Rachel Cruze
Yeah. That she had never even met the guy. Right.
Dave Ramsey
The woman was getting ready to send her 401k to this dude and put. Put it in stupid Bitcoin. And then we're like, so how many times have you all actually. Oh, I've never actually met him. I'm like, oh, catfish, catfish. Oh, whoa, whoa. Oh, man.
Rachel Cruze
So bad. Oh, man.
Dave Ramsey
You're not her. Jana.
Rachel Cruze
Jana, you're gonna be great. You really are.
Dave Ramsey
Listen, if your family puts the fun in dysfunction, boys and girls, it just means you don't have to be that. That's all it means. You don't have to. You don't have to follow him.
Caller
I.
Rachel Cruze
No, it's scary. That is. That's terrifying. And just the burden that you're going to be for your kid. Right. Like, you feel all of that. And so because of that, that's part of the motivation to change, so you can change your family tree. You're different. You're a different branch. You're creating something completely new for your kids, and it's beautiful.
Dave Ramsey
We're going to work this system. You have time, the passion that you have to not be that. Use that passion to work this system, and then you won't be that. It's. That's what simple. It really is.
Caller
Foreign.
Dave Ramsey
You spend hours researching before making a major purchase, like a home or car. But it's also a good idea to put in the work searching for the right insurance coverage to protect your biggest assets. I recommend using Ramsey Trusted Pros. Whether you're looking for car, home, or any other type of insurance, Ramsey Trusted providers have been coached and vetted to serve you. You like. We would find what you need@ramseysolutions.com insurance.
Rob is in Syracuse. A robbery. How are you?
Caller
I'm good, thanks.
Dave Ramsey
Good. How can we help?
Caller
I just was listening to you on Sage Steel, and I didn't realize that you had. You had a bankruptcy in your past. And it got me thinking. Do you think about the same things I do? And it was 20 years ago. We were a young couple, and I just think about the debt that was discharged, and I keep a list. And I just wonder if you ever think about that, about whether. I know I'm never going to pay it back because they're never going to take it. But I just was wondering if it was something that you or anybody else thinks about.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, people think about it because they're people of honor and the people of honor signed a debt and they know they owed it. And the law says, according to bankruptcy, that you don't owe it anymore, but your heart still is tender to that. And so all that means is you're a good person now, obsessing about it and continuing to worry about it. That's. I wouldn't do that. I instead would just accept grace, move on and, you know, you can think about the time I, you know, when I was 16 years old, I got the car keys. The first night I got my driver's license, I went to the Pizza Hut, my dad's pickup, and the first thing I did is I backed into a guy's Corvette.
Now I had to pay for that and fix it, obviously, and my dad did. Nobody was happy. Not the Corvette guy, not my dad, not me. Nobody was happy in the equation. But I don't think about that all the time. It's an interesting scar because it was really traumatic the first night you got your license. Right. But it's also, I was a 16 year old kid. Everybody makes mistakes. I just happen to do it with a pickup and a Corvette. But move on, Dave, don't sit up at night and worry about that. You don't want to take it too far, but to have a tender heart towards it just means you're a good person. In my case, mine manifested itself with the bankruptcy stuff. Years later, about 10 years after we filed bankruptcy, we were making substantial money again. And I woke up in the middle of the night with a very vivid dream. And I felt very, very sure. God was telling me to go back and pay it back. And I told my wife and she said, absolutely not. Those people pissed all over us. We're not giving them a diaper dime because they, man, we had some jerks we dealt with. We had some people that did all kinds of illegal stuff, all kinds of stuff. It was our fault, we caused it. But man, she's like, no way. And I'm like, yeah, way. I'm pretty sure this was God and I'm pretty sure we need to do this. No, we're not doing that. So two years went by and I finally, by then, we're making even more money. And the amount of the bankruptcy was fairly small in comparison. And I'm like, sure, Sharon, we're supposed to do this. I really want to go back and do this. I've got the money. And she said no. We actually sat down and met with our pastor in a marriage counseling session over it because we were arguing about it and couldn't get a resolution. And I was very sure. And so we ended up, she acquiesced and I said, look, we spend more than this on other stuff. It's what I think we're supposed to do. She Says, not the money, it's the principal. I know, but we needed it. So anyway, she finally went along with it, and we did go back. And it was a real Pain. Pain. 12, 13 years after the bankruptcy to get some banker who. It's not his money. They don't have a way to put it on the books because it's off the books. And we had. It was a. It was actually a lot of work to get these people to take money. It was crazy.
Caller
I was figuring. Yes, that's. That's what I was thinking about.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah.
Caller
Like, who's gonna. Who's gonna.
Dave Ramsey
I mean, if you found an individual that was on there, like, you know, somebody like that, they're like, oh, yeah, I'll take the money. And I had a few of those.
And then one guy's like, oh, don't worry about it. I'm like, yeah, I'm worried about it. I need to do this. And he's like, okay, and send me a check. So I did. And then most people were that way. But then some of these banks, they were just morons. But the banks are so funny. They're morons. But I also don't tell that story very often, Rob, because it sounds like a humble brag, for one thing. And the other thing is I don't want to put it forth as a principle that I believe that everyone should go back and do that.
Rachel Cruze
It's mandatory.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, I don't think everyone should go back and do that. I think I was told to. And it's probably. It's easy to surmise I was told to because I'm in this position. And so I needed to be. I needed to have a little bit, you know, be a little bit more above reproach, so to speak. But even then, I don't tell people. And so I'm often, you know, the haters on the Internet are like, dave Ramsey filed bankruptcy. He's just. He's a thief. He stole the money. And they don't even know. I went back and paid it. And I. And I don't go into the comments section and go, yes, I did. You know, just let it go. Screw it, you know, but. So I would not impose that upon you, legalistically is what I'm saying.
Caller
Actually, I really. I'm glad I heard the story, but I really wanted to let you know that it was a lot of your principles. When I reading when it back 20 some years ago after filing bankruptcy, that got me back on track.
Dave Ramsey
Good, good. Praise God. That's why we're Here, man. Hey, that's a great question.
Rachel Cruze
And I don't know if I would keep a list anymore. He said he keeps a list of it.
Dave Ramsey
You know, unless you. Unless you feel that you want to pay some kind of spiritual direction or.
Because honestly, I was not thinking about it and I just. You know what? 10 times in your life you have a dream that's that vivid, that wakes you up and you can't go back to sleep. And I'm sitting at my computer and I wrote down the details of the dream. I've got it in the file, in an email to myself or in a Word document to myself, because it was that vivid. That doesn't happen that often. I dream every night and I don't have any idea what it is.
But so I really felt like that's what it was. But I'm not sure I'll know when I get to heaven for sure. And that's not why I'll get to heaven either, by the way.
Rachel Cruze
But the prompting and leading, that was something bigger than you to do something. And that could be anything in life. And this happened to be this.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah.
Rachel Cruze
And for. Yeah. And that's not for everyone's story, to your point.
Dave Ramsey
But it's very interesting with bankruptcy that on the one end of the spectrum, there are people that are very flippant about it. It's like, ah, I'll just file bankruptcy. I'll just file bankruptcy. They feel no obligation. And on the other end of the spectrum, you got Rob still keeping a.
Rachel Cruze
List 20 years later.
Dave Ramsey
20 years later. So, yeah, I'd probably either pay it back or burn the list. Need to get it. You need to get off your plate.
Rachel Cruze
One side or the other.
Dave Ramsey
Get off your plate and quit. Quit, quit having it hanging back there in the back of your head. Let's move on to something else. And I'm perfectly fine. Fine with you walking in Grace and just let it go. Perfectly fine with that. Again, I'm not going to take my story and impugn that as a pharisitical principle on everyone else because I don't think that's what I was getting. That was not the sense I had from it. It was a very nuanced individual situation. Madeline is in Chicago. Hey, Madeline, what's up?
Caller
Hi.
Dave Ramsey
Hey. How can I help?
Caller
So I just graduated in May from college and my student loan payments will start up in January. It's $22,000 in debt, and then I also have 2,500 in credit card debt.
So my question with the loans is they all have different interest rates, subsidized versus unsubsidized. And just the best way to go about paying those effectively.
Dave Ramsey
How many do you have?
Caller
It's 10 different loans.
Dave Ramsey
Wow. Lots of little ones.
Rachel Cruze
Okay, so a couple of 2,000 here and there.
Dave Ramsey
List them smallest to largest.
Pay minimum payments on everything except the little one. And attack the little one as fast as you can.
Rachel Cruze
Throw that credit card debt in there too. Is the credit cards, Multiple credit cards?
Caller
Just one credit card.
Rachel Cruze
Okay, yeah. So put the $2,500 credit card.
Dave Ramsey
You probably have some student loans smaller than that.
Caller
Yeah, yeah.
Dave Ramsey
So you're going to do those first. You're going to cut up the credit card. By the way, quit using a stupid thing. I'm not kidding. That wasn't funny.
Rachel Cruze
Jamal, are you working?
Caller
Yeah, I am. I have a part time remote job and then I also work as a waitress.
Rachel Cruze
Okay, how much do you bring in a month.
Caller
Monthly? I'm bringing in about.
$5,000.
Dave Ramsey
Good. Well, how good for you? And if you can live on nothing and drop three grand on that, you're going to be done in no time. You'll be done by next Christmas.
Caller
Awesome.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, Yeah. I mean, you got 20, $25,000. So $2,000 a month. You're done by Christmas next year.
Rachel Cruze
And that includes if you don't get a full time job making more, you.
Dave Ramsey
Know, what's your degree in?
Caller
Yeah, that would be my goal. Marketing.
Dave Ramsey
Oh, good. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You'll get a better job than that. Yeah, go, go get a big job. Knock it out even before that. But I want you done by Christmas. Say Christmas is my date. Say it out loud.
Caller
Christmas is my date.
Dave Ramsey
All right, knock it out, kiddo. You got this. Hang on. We're going to send you a copy of the total money makeover book to show you how to do it.
Rachel Cruze
Hey, guys, it's here, our Cyber Monday sale. And you can pick up our bestselling books like Baby Steps millionaires for only $12. Or pick up a set of our questions for humans cards. That way at your next gathering, you can put down the screens and have amazing conversations and see instead. And they're just $12. Plus some of our best selling digital products like our audiobooks are as low as $6.99. Seriously, guys, gifts like these change people's lives. And that's always a Good deal. Visit ramseysolutions.com store.
Dave Ramsey
Our scripture of the day, Romans 15:4. For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us so that through the endurance taught in the scriptures and the encouragement they provide, we might have hope. Jim Rohn said, formal education will make you a living. Self education will make you a fortune. Sam is in Raleigh, North Carolina. Hey, Sam. How are you?
Caller
Hey. I'm actually in Wilson, North Carolina. How are you?
Dave Ramsey
Better than I deserve. How can I help?
Caller
I'm newly engaged and we've had a discussion. Me and my now fiance have had a discussion about buying a house. My grandfather's house. He just passed away. And my family thinking about selling it. They're gonna keep it in the family. They're thinking about selling it for tax vacation. You?
I really like the house. She's not really sure about the location. And so that was my first question. And the other question would be, how much money do I need to save to buy a house?
Dave Ramsey
Okay. How old are you, Sam?
Caller
I am. I just turned 26.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. And what do you make a year?
Caller
62,000.
Dave Ramsey
What's your fiance make a year?
Caller
54.
Dave Ramsey
Cool. And when will you all be getting married?
Caller
I haven't set a date. We're getting through the holidays, but probably sometime in 27.
Dave Ramsey
Okay. All right. And what will your grandfather's house cost if you were to buy it?
Caller
Tax value? Just under $250,000. Like 246 or 247, I think.
Dave Ramsey
What do you think the thing's really worth?
Caller
I looked it up on Zillow and all the other websites and it's listed for 340 to 360. So I feel like I'll be gaining a little bit.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah.
Caller
Yeah.
Dave Ramsey
And okay. And do you have any money?
Caller
A little to none. I mean, I've got. I've started up with Financial Peace University. I've started my nest egg kind of adding to it. Every month I got around 27 $2,800 saved up in a.
Money market account.
Dave Ramsey
And you're out of debt?
Caller
Well, I've got $4,000 worth of debt paying that off. That ring hadn't even made one payment on it yet. I intend on paying that off before the end of the year.
Dave Ramsey
This year or next?
Caller
This year.
Dave Ramsey
So in the next couple weeks?
Caller
Yes.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, that's good. All right, so you'll be debt free, and then you'll start saving. When are you required to close on your grandfather's house? Could you rent it for a year while you save up some money?
Caller
Yes, I can. That is also another option. So right now.
Dave Ramsey
Okay, now here's the last question. What happens when you want to sell the house?
Caller
I would sell it back to My mom or to my family.
Dave Ramsey
What if they can't buy it?
Do you have to sell. Do you have to sell it at tax value then? Or do you. Can you sell it for full price?
Caller
I would sell it to him for whatever I bought it for.
Dave Ramsey
Then don't buy it.
Rachel Cruze
Yeah, it's not a good investment.
Dave Ramsey
No, don't buy it because you can't make any money on it.
Caller
Right.
Dave Ramsey
If you buy a house for two or $300,000, in 10 years from now, you have to sell it for two. $300,000, that was a bad deal.
Caller
All right.
Dave Ramsey
It needs to go up in value. So. No.
Rachel Cruze
Unless the family can all agree, Sam, that, you know, by the time you want to sell it, you can sell.
Dave Ramsey
It for what it's worth.
Rachel Cruze
$10. Yeah. That you can sell it for what it's worth. Or you can sell it outside the family if no one wants it for what it's worth either.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah.
Rachel Cruze
It's kind of like a first right.
Dave Ramsey
Of refusal, but give them first right of refusal. But if they don't want to buy it for what it's worth, I mean, the thing could be worth a million dollars in a few years. Yeah.
Caller
And I mean, his own family land, we got 650 acres.
And there's a bunch of barns.
Dave Ramsey
You don't get 650 acres with this, though.
Caller
No, no, no. I get an acre, and then I get some barns that are actually on the farm.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, you don't get anything. You get an acre of land and a house. The rest of it is just. You have access to. Which, by the way, if you drive over there, you'd have access to it anyway. You don't have to live there to have access to that.
Caller
Right.
Dave Ramsey
So, no, that's not relative. I don't think this is a good idea because I think you're gonna get trapped.
Caller
Thank you. That's how I've been kind of feeling.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah. I think your fan. I think the family has.
Rachel Cruze
Fiance has a good, you know, gut instincts about her, too. You know, that she's. She's a little bit like. I don't know about the family thing and the location and all of it. When you guys buy your first house, Sam, you want it to be a win. You want it to be a fun experience, something that you guys both agree on. And it's kind of that first big purchase as a married couple, and starting it with any level of hesitation or baggage or not excited excitements just kind of puts a weight.
Dave Ramsey
And if I owned a farm with a house in the corner of it, like your mom and your aunt do. I really wouldn't want it to get outside the family. So I understand their motivation. That makes sense. But it's not a good deal for Sam. And his new bride is the problem. And so your mom's not being unreasonable with her request, but it puts you in a position where you guys can't make a good deal out of it for the two of you. So it's just that what they need from it and what you need from it are too far apart. And it's not that either one's wrong or anybody's bad or anything like that. It's not stupid or something like that. It just doesn't fit your life. And really, I wouldn't. If I'm them, I don't want you to be able to sell the thing later, you know, that doesn't. Yeah, I mean, like, I've got some properties. I don't want the corner of it. You know, I've got some properties I bought the corner in, and I don't want to sell it again. You know, that kind of thing. So, no, I don't. I can understand that. That makes sense. But if I were you two, I think it's a lot cleaner for the two of you.
Rachel Cruze
So for the family, if you wanted.
Dave Ramsey
To rent it for a year or two, and while you're saving up money to buy, then that would be great, because the more money you put down, of course, the faster you can pay it off. Alyssa is in Albuquerque. Hey, Alyssa. What's up?
Caller
Hi, Dave. Thank you for taking my call.
Dave Ramsey
Sure. How can we help?
Caller
So, just a tiny backstory is when I was dating my husband, who I've now been married to for 15 years, his mother used to tell me that she was running out of money, that they were going to be poor soon because she was a trust fund child and they were going to run out of money. So before my husband and I got married, I asked him, you know, what does this mean for us? And he said, nothing. My parents are going to take care of their finances themselves. They're going to handle it. This will not impact us, which I should have known was not true. Fast forward 15 years. His parents are out of money. They own their home outright. It's a small property, probably worth $500,000. And then they also have another small piece of land in the mountains with a cabin on it that's just a shell of a building, probably worth $80,000. But they do not receive enough income to live. They received maybe $900 from Social Security.
Dave Ramsey
How old are they?
Caller
Never worked much. They are 85. My mother in law is 85 and my father in law's. He's 80, about 80.
We have gone. Yes, we have gone and built them a casita on their house so they could get some rental income and that brings in about $1,000 a month. But they still are. Cannot live. And it's basically medical bills and things like that. So we have now started paying their utilities and their health insurance.
Dave Ramsey
They need to sell the house.
Caller
Exactly. So I keep telling my. So my. So I tell my husband. What about. I know you don't. I know most people don't like this, but a re. Reverse mortgage.
Dave Ramsey
No, they don't need to do a reverse mortgage. They need to sell the house. They need to sell the land. They need to sell the land in the mountain and they need to sell the house. They need to buy $200,000 one bedroom condo.
Caller
Okay.
Dave Ramsey
And that'll give them 300,000, 400,000 to live off of.
Rachel Cruze
How's their health?
Dave Ramsey
Not good.
Caller
No, not good.
Rachel Cruze
Okay, so it's. Yeah, yeah. So it's not like another. They're not going to be 100 probably.
Caller
I don't think so. I mean I, you know, who knows? Who knows? God willing. But.
But not, not while my mother in law's had a heart attack. She's had a mini stroke and she goes, she rides the ambulance to the emergency room once a month. Thus her medical bills continue to grow.
Dave Ramsey
Yeah, they need to get a sweet little one bedroom, a condo and an area that's very nice and peaceful and they need to sell off all their stuff and they need to sell off the land and they need to sell off the house because they didn't sell safe and no, you guys don't need to support them. Your husband needs to stop this.
Caller
The reason he wants to do this is because he wants to inherit this property.
Dave Ramsey
I don't want to inherit the property. It's not that fancy. No, thank you. And you don't want a property with a reverse mortgage on it. No. That puts this hour of the Ramsey show in the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace and that's to walk daily with the Prince of peace, Christ Jesus.
Episode Title: Should I Open Up A Secret Bank Account to Protect Myself?
Date: December 5, 2025
Host: Dave Ramsey with Co-Host Rachel Cruze
Platform: Ramsey Network
This episode tackles a broad set of listener questions centered on money management, difficult financial situations, and major life transitions. The main theme is taking responsibility for your financial future and addressing core issues – whether marital discord, job transitions, approaching retirement, or supporting family – with honesty, courage, and practical wisdom. Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze give straightforward, compassionate advice, emphasizing communication, proactivity, and resilience as central to building wealth and stability.
[00:47-08:28]
[10:50-20:18]
[22:20-31:36]
[33:42-39:34]
Segments throughout the episode:
Preparing for Divorce after 20 Years as a Stay-At-Home Mom (Jackie in Kansas City) [69:44-75:27]
Supporting Elderly, Broke Parents (Alyssa in Albuquerque) [124:26-127:44]
How to Handle Windfall Inheritance (Josh in Ohio) [84:09-86:43]
Getting Laid Off, Massive Debt, Bankruptcy Question (Ramon in Chicago) [77:55-83:38]
Secret Bank Account Redux (Multiple segments)
Memorable Interactions & Quotes:
The episode balances tough love, empathy, and practical financial wisdom. Dave’s blunt, occasionally humorous style steers callers away from wishful thinking and toward proactive change. Rachel consistently reinforces compassion and the importance of emotional resilience, especially for overwhelmed or isolated callers.
This episode is a masterclass in handling tough, real-life money dilemmas with honesty and grit—no shortcuts or easy fixes, but a clear path forward for those ready to take it.