Stop Expecting Different Results From the Same Mistakes

Summary

Summary of "The Ramsey Show" Episode: "Stop Expecting Different Results From the Same Mistakes"

Release Date: July 29, 2025

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Introduction

In the latest episode of The Ramsey Show, host Dave Ramsey, alongside co-host Ken Coleman and guest George Camel, delves into the pervasive issue of financial stagnation caused by repetitive financial mistakes. The episode emphasizes the importance of breaking free from detrimental financial habits to achieve wealth-building and life control.

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Caller 1: Brianna from Washington D.C.

Timestamp: 00:46 – 06:13

Situation: Brianna, a single mother living in Washington D.C., seeks advice on managing significant debt to achieve her goal of purchasing a house within two years. She currently earns $80,000 annually from her day job and supplements her income with sporadic consulting work, recently earning an additional $3,000 from a workshop.

Debt Overview:

• Credit Cards and Car: $30,000
• Student Loans: $100,000

Key Discussion Points:

• Debt Feasibility: Dave Ramsey points out the unrealistic goal of buying a house in two years given her current debt-to-income ratio. "You're not going to be out of debt in two years. You're not going to be out of debt in two years," (03:23).
• Income Augmentation: George Camel encourages Brianna to explore opportunities to significantly increase her income, suggesting that she could potentially raise her earnings by $30,000 to $50,000 within six months (06:13).
• Lifestyle Adjustments: Dave emphasizes drastic lifestyle changes to prioritize debt repayment over discretionary spending. "You can't keep doing everything and get a house. You can't keep doing everything," (05:07).

Conclusion: Brianna is advised to intensify her debt repayment strategy, possibly by increasing her side income and drastically reducing non-essential expenses to expedite her journey out of debt.

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Caller 2: Valerie from Minneapolis

Timestamp: 09:01 – 14:56

Situation: Valerie inquires about an annuity she purchased for $25,000 before marriage, which matures at age 65. She seeks advice on whether it should be treated as debt or insurance in accordance with Ramsey's Baby Step Two.

Key Discussion Points:

• Annuity Analysis: Dave explains the complexities of variable rate annuities, including surrender charges and the potential penalties for early withdrawal. He advises investigating the specifics of the annuity before making a decision. "You have to analyze the surrender charge and decide if it's worth keeping the annuity," (12:41).
• Professional Guidance: Emphasis is placed on consulting with a certified financial advisor (SmartVestor Pro) rather than relying on her current insurance agent, who may not provide unbiased advice. "Your advisor is not a financial advisor. Your advisor is an insurance agent," (12:42).
• Impact on Financial Steps: Understanding whether to retain or cash out the annuity affects her ability to progress through Baby Step Two effectively.

Conclusion: Valerie is encouraged to thoroughly assess the annuity's terms and consult with a trusted financial advisor to determine the best course of action in alignment with her financial goals.

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Sponsored Segment: Identity Theft Protection

Timestamp: 09:17 – 10:07

Highlights: Jade Barshaw and Rachel Cruz discuss the importance of identity theft protection, promoting services like Xander Insurance and DeleteMe to safeguard personal information online.

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Caller 3: Nick from Boston

Timestamp: 10:33 – 17:43

Situation: Nick and his wife, both 33, are navigating Baby Steps 4, 5, and 6 with a combined income of approximately $155,000. They possess $150,000 in stocks from a previous job and consider using these funds to pay down their mortgage principal.

Key Discussion Points:

• Asset Utilization: Dave advises against using stocks as collateral for mortgage principal, emphasizing that it equates to borrowing against their investments without clear financial benefits. "Keeping it is the exact same thing, only in reverse. It's as if you borrowed on the house to buy it," (23:49).
• Emergency Funds and Savings: Emphasizes maintaining a robust emergency fund and prioritizing debt repayment over investment into fluctuating assets.
• Financial Prioritization: Reinforces the importance of adhering to Baby Steps and not deviating by using investments for home equity.

Conclusion: Nick and his wife are advised to preserve their investment assets and focus on systematic debt repayment to align with their Baby Steps, thereby ensuring long-term financial stability.

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Caller 4: AJ from Bowling Green

Timestamp: 29:51 – 33:12

Situation: AJ, recently retired at 70 with two adult children, seeks guidance on whether to establish a will or a trust.

Key Discussion Points:

• Estate Planning: Dave recommends drafting a simple will over a trust, especially given AJ's net worth and lack of complex estate tax concerns. "You need a will. You don’t need a trust," (30:15).
• Action Steps: Suggests using online resources like MamaBearLegalForms.com to create a will efficiently.

Conclusion: AJ is advised to promptly create a will to ensure his assets are distributed according to his wishes, simplifying the probate process for his beneficiaries.

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Caller 5: Jesse from Fredericksburg, Virginia

Timestamp: 55:15 – 61:50

Situation: Jesse discusses a complex situation involving her ex-husband's passing and her role as the estate administrator. She inherits $235,100 after settling debts and wants advice on managing these funds responsibly.

Key Discussion Points:

• Debt Settlement: Emphasizes the importance of first eliminating all existing debts before allocating inherited funds towards other financial goals. "Finish up your emergency fund, then fill up retirement, and address college savings if applicable," (59:14).
• Financial Prioritization: Encourages using the inheritance to bolster emergency savings and invest in retirement accounts, adhering to the Baby Steps framework.
• Legal and Ethical Considerations: Advises against using estate funds for personal expenses unrelated to the estate to maintain legal and ethical integrity.

Conclusion: Jesse is guided to methodically allocate the inheritance towards debt repayment, emergency funds, and retirement savings, ensuring adherence to financial peace principles while managing her responsibilities as estate administrator.

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Caller 6: Fina from Los Angeles

Timestamp: 55:15 – 63:17

Situation: Fina, debt-free and saving for a home down payment, questions the legitimacy of rent-to-own home offers.

Key Discussion Points:

• Rent-to-Own Viability: Dave acknowledges that while rent-to-own schemes are legitimate, they are often financially disadvantageous. He advises against them due to unfavorable math and potential legal complications if the company fails. "They used to do rent-to-own deals, and the number of people that actually followed through was zero," (62:06).
• Traditional Home Buying: Advocates for saving diligently for a substantial down payment and pursuing conventional home purchasing methods for better financial outcomes.

Conclusion: Fina is encouraged to avoid rent-to-own agreements and instead focus on saving for a traditional home purchase, ensuring a more secure and financially sound path to homeownership.

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Caller 7: Ken Coleman from Tampa, Florida

Timestamp: 35:10 – 126:46

Situation: Ken faces multiple financial challenges, including $120,000 in debt (comprising a $30,000 HELOC and $90,000 in credit card debt) against a combined household income of $3,600 per month. He contemplates bankruptcy or extending his HELOC to manage debt.

Key Discussion Points:

• Bankruptcy Considerations: Dave explains the implications of Chapter 7 and Chapter 13 bankruptcies, highlighting the difficulties and potential loss of assets associated with them. "Chapter 13 is a five-year plan and involves making payments you can't afford," (66:44).
• Asset Liquidation: Recommends selling the home to pay off credit card debts, as retaining the property is financially untenable. "Sell the house and go pay off your credit cards," (67:02).
• Income Augmentation: George Camel suggests leveraging Ken's forklift driving skills to secure higher-paying opportunities, reducing reliance on low-income retail jobs.
• Emotional and Relational Advice: Emphasizes the importance of prioritizing relationships and seeking mentorship to navigate financial recovery.

Conclusion: Ken is advised to liquidate his home to eliminate high-interest credit card debt, avoid bankruptcy, and seek higher-paying employment opportunities to stabilize his financial situation.

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Caller 8: Diana from Oklahoma

Timestamp: 81:44 – 85:55

Situation: Diana inquires about protecting her 401(k) in late-in-life marriage to prevent it from being drained for her spouse's long-term care.

Key Discussion Points:

• Nursing Home Costs: Dave distinguishes between private nursing homes and those covered by Medicaid, cautioning against attempting to manipulate benefits to protect assets.
• Legal Implications: Warns against committing fraud by hiding assets, explaining the severe consequences and moral implications.
• Long-Term Care Planning: Suggests exploring long-term care insurance and in-home care alternatives as ethical and effective strategies for managing future care needs.

Conclusion: Diana is encouraged to pursue legitimate long-term care planning methods, such as insurance and in-home care solutions, rather than attempting to shield her 401(k) through illegal means.

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Caller 9: Joel from Orange County, California

Timestamp: 86:46 – 127:11

Situation: Joel seeks guidance on overcoming paycheck-to-paycheck living despite a combined income of approximately $205,000 (his $75,000 and his wife's $110,000). He has $120,000 in debt, including a $30,000 HELOC and $90,000 in credit cards, struggling to meet minimum payments.

Key Discussion Points:

• Bankruptcy Advice: Dave outlines the impracticality of bankruptcy options for Joel, emphasizing that selling the home to eliminate debt is the only viable solution.
• Income and Job Management: Highlights the necessity of securing better-paying jobs and increasing income to manage and pay off debts effectively.
• Debt Repayment Strategy: Encourages using the HELOC proceeds to settle high-interest credit card debt, thereby reducing monthly financial burdens.

Conclusion: Joel is advised to sell his home to pay off credit card debts, restructure his financial obligations, and seek higher-income employment to regain financial stability.

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Caller 10: Brianna from Syracuse, New York

Timestamp: 117:45 – 127:11

Situation: Brianna owns a home worth $100,000 to $120,000 with a remaining mortgage of $45,000. She lives in a declining area and considers renovating her current home to sell or moving to a new location using her 401(k) funds.

Key Discussion Points:

• Home Sale Recommendation: Dave advises selling the home "as is" to avoid unnecessary renovation expenses that do not significantly increase the property's value. "Sell it as is. A little bit of repairs is not a big deal," (110:18).
• Debt Repayment: Suggests using the proceeds from the home sale to clear existing debts, including car and personal loans.
• Financial Discipline: Highlights the importance of budgeting and financial organization to prevent living paycheck to paycheck despite a sizable income.

Conclusion: Brianna is encouraged to sell her current home without additional renovations, use the funds to eliminate debts, and adopt disciplined budgeting practices to achieve financial peace and prepare for future homeownership.

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Caller 11: Rob from Lexington, Kentucky

Timestamp: 117:45 – 127:11

Situation: Rob, age 39, is grappling with living paycheck to paycheck after eight years of cohabitation without marriage. With a combined income of $53,000 and $45,000 from his full-time job plus $8,000 from a part-time retail job, he owes approximately $45,500 in loans and credit cards.

Key Discussion Points:

• Debt Management: Dave recommends aggressively targeting $10,000 in debt to regain financial control, emphasizing the necessity of increased income through enhanced job roles. "You have $9,000, 10,000 bucks gets you out of debt," (120:10).
• Relationship and Financial Transparency: Stresses the importance of mutual involvement in financial decisions and rebuilding trust through transparent communication and possibly counseling.
• Community and Support Systems: George Camel suggests Rob engage with supportive communities, such as church groups, to find mentorship and alleviate feelings of loneliness impacting his financial behavior.

Conclusion: Rob is advised to focus on debt elimination by leveraging his forklift driving skills for higher-paying opportunities, adopt a meticulous budgeting approach, and seek supportive relationships to foster both financial and personal well-being.

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Key Takeaways

1. Prioritize Debt Repayment: Consistently addressing high-interest debts is crucial for financial stability and future wealth-building.
2. Increase Income Streams: Exploring opportunities to augment income can accelerate debt elimination and financial goals attainment.
3. Lifestyle Adjustments: Significant reductions in discretionary spending are often necessary to prioritize debt repayment and savings.
4. Seek Professional Guidance: Consulting with trusted financial advisors can provide tailored strategies aligned with individual financial situations.
5. Transparent Financial Communication: Open and honest discussions about finances within relationships are essential for mutual understanding and financial harmony.
6. Avoid Shortcuts: Rent-to-own schemes and early withdrawals from investment accounts can lead to unfavorable financial outcomes.
7. Estate Planning: Establishing wills and understanding estate implications are vital for streamlined asset distribution and familial responsibilities.
8. Long-Term Planning: Proactive strategies for retirement and long-term care can prevent financial strain and ensure a secure future.

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Notable Quotes

• Dave Ramsey on Debt Feasibility: "You're not going to be out of debt in two years. You're not going to be out of debt in two years." (03:23)
• George Camel on Income Augmentation: "Where can I raise my income by 30 to $50,000 in the next six months?" (06:13)
• Dave Ramsey on Annuity Analysis: "Your advisor is not a financial advisor. Your advisor is an insurance agent." (12:42)
• Dave Ramsey on Rent-to-Own Viability: "They make the math is set up to where we used to do leases with an option or rent to own all the time when I owned a bunch of real estate... zero." (62:06)
• Dave Ramsey on Estate Planning: "You need a will. You don't need a trust." (30:15)
• Dave Ramsey on Relationship and Financial Transparency: "You owe her an apology. You did not her include her in this decision." (91:25)
• Dave Ramsey on Community Support: "Get plugged in with some... find some men... with a vision for their life." (125:03)

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Conclusion

This episode of The Ramsey Show underscores the importance of breaking free from repetitive financial mistakes through disciplined debt repayment, income augmentation, transparent financial practices, and informed decision-making. By adhering to the Baby Steps and seeking professional guidance, listeners are empowered to transform their financial lives and achieve lasting wealth and stability.

For more insights and personalized financial advice, visit www.ramseysolutions.com.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey show. Where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Ken Coleman, number one best selling author, Ramsey personality and host of the run away hit show, front row seat on the Ramsey network. He's my co host. Today Brianna is with us in Washington D.C. hi, Brianna, how are you?

[Brianna]

I'm doing well. How are you?

[Dave Ramsey]

Better than I deserve. What's up?

[Brianna]

So I'm a single mom living in D.C. and I've just been in survival mode over the past few years, just trying to get things done. But I'm in a space where I'm trying to clean up my debt. I want to buy a house in the next two years, but I know I have a lot of debt that I need to clean up. And learning and figuring out like how to save and just move forward so I could give my children better opportunities in the future.

[Dave Ramsey]

Good for you. That's good motivation. Cool. So what's your income?

[Brianna]

So I make 80 from my date. From my job. Yes. 80,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Your day job, were you saying? Does that mean you have another one?

[Brianna]

Well, lately I've been doing some training, consulting work on the side, but it's very sporadic.

[Dave Ramsey]

How much have you made doing that?

[Brianna]

Last month I did a six day workshop for organization. I received 3,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Cool. I like it. All right. How old are your kiddos?

[Brianna]

I'm a five and a seven year old.

[Dave Ramsey]

How much you getting child support?

[Ken Coleman]

Zero.

[Dave Ramsey]

Why?

[Brianna]

I filed for child support, but due to his job at the time he was serving, there was no proof of like income in a sense. And so they technically said that I owe him.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm sorry, the job he was serving.

[Brianna]

What do you mean serving Job in like a restaurant.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, oh, okay. As opposed to serving time. Okay, okay. Or in the military? You could serve there. Okay. All right. How much debt you got, kiddo?

[Brianna]

So in credit cards and like my car I have about 30,000, but that's not including my student loans. That's 100,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. What is your degree in?

[Brianna]

I know, right? Unfortunately, it's in psychology and community psychology. The undergrad that I went to was a private institute and I didn't do too great in high school. And so it was kind of very few choices. And so yeah, I ended up with a whole bunch of debt. So I have two degrees, but 100,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, I mean, there's nothing easy about the math. You're giving me, but it's not. It like, it's not doable. But you're not buying a house in two years unless something changes dramatically. Because you're not going to be out of debt in two years. You're not. I mean, 120,000, $130,000 in debt. That'd be 60,000 a year. You make 80 and got two kids. I don't think we're going to put 60,000 a year on debt, do you?

[Ken Coleman]

No.

[Dave Ramsey]

Unless you get a whole bunch more of these workshops on the side, which I love that idea, but I don't think we're gonna get that many more. So, I mean, let's pretend that it takes that we put 30,000 a year on it. Okay. It takes four years. If we put 40,000 a year on it, it takes three years. Okay. But that's 40,000. Making 80 in D.C. with two kids is beans and rice. You're gonna be doing nothing for three years except getting out of debt. How much is your car debt? You broke it. Do you put it with the credit card?

[Brianna]

I broke my last payment. This car is my last payment. So I paid.

[Ken Coleman]

It's your last one payment.

[Dave Ramsey]

You have one payment left?

[Brianna]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, so it's almost gone?

[Brianna]

Yep.

[Dave Ramsey]

Good. Okay. So you have 30,000 in credit cards. Basically, yeah. Okay. And that's cause you're not budgeting, not paying attention. You're raising two kids without child support and. Hey, did doofus ever. Did he ever go get a job?

[Brianna]

He did, but it's very inconsistent. So every time I go file, he does. He doesn't have anything. Yeah. And so we had an agreement that he would give a little here and there. And I guess I'm in a space where I'm trying to still give my children, like, swimming lessons and things like that. And so I'm realizing that I have to.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, you got $100,000 in student loan debt and you got $30,000 in credit card debt because you've been doing swimming lessons and not getting child support. So something's gonna shift here, kiddo. You can't keep doing everything and get a house. You can't keep doing everything. This debt's gonna follow you around for 10 years. If you keep doing exactly what you've been doing, you're gonna keep getting what you've been getting. Agreed?

[Brianna]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

So I'm a Rip the Band date off guy. I don't peel them off slow. And so I would. If it's me, I'm going to work like a maniac I'm going to get some help with family on the kids, pick up as many of those side gigs. Those things were promising. I like the sound of that. And I'm going to sell everything in sight. We're not going out to eat. If we do outside activities, they're going to be very, very few and very limited. But you can't live like you're making 180 with no debt because you're not. You can't keep living like this. Okay. So the kids, by the way, will live without every stinking kind of activity out there. Okay. Lots of kids grow up not having done a lot of that stuff and do it without counseling.

[George Camel]

Yeah. I'm curious, what are you doing for a living right now? What's your professional role?

[Brianna]

I'm a program manager. So I create a post secondary program for a small D.C. charter school district.

[George Camel]

Yeah. I'm going to really challenge you. Dave gave you everything you need to hear on cutting, but you've got to make some more money. And you've clearly proven, listen, somebody pay you $3,000 over six days, you've got some real value. And I think you're going to have to set your sights on. I got these two degrees in psychology. You've done some stuff here. I just think you need to start to look at. Where can I with with some hustle, connecting with people. Can I raise my income by 30 to $50,000 in the next six months?

[Dave Ramsey]

Then you get out of debt in two years.

[George Camel]

That's the game. You got to get more income. I think you're worth. I think you got the opportunity to make more than 80 and you've shown some gumption and I applaud you for that. But I do want you to set your sights higher. You're in a small charter school situation. There's just not a room for growth there. So I'd like to see you, if nothing else, replace the 80,000 in a place where there's room to grow. That's the goal for you, especially as a single mama.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Okay, so here's the way to remember all this stuff, okay? If we took the math that you're on right now and we don't change a single thing, then you're stuck. The good news is life's not a snapshot, it's a film strip. And the next frame, there's gonna be a change. In the next frame, there's gonna be a change. In the next frame there's gonna be a change. That's a film strip. Right. And so the Change can be good or bad, but there's always gonna be a change. There's gonna be a change in the next frame. So what we're saying is, let's plan that on the expense side. Let's plan that. And every time this thing clicks again and there's another frame, it gets a little better. A little better? A little better to where five months from now? You're telling a completely different story with your math, with the arithmetic, than you are with right now. Because of your spending and because of your searching out career. I mean, you've never even looked, probably, but you might land something making 130. I don't know. I have no idea. But I do know the math you're giving me right now is tough. Can be done, but it's not gonna be done in two years. And you can get there, but it's gonna be a crawl and then a walk and then a jog and then a run.

[George Camel]

Let's give her Kelly. Find the work you're wired to do. Comes with the get clear career assessment. I think it's gonna show you a much better future. So, hang on. We'll take care of.

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[Jade Barshaw]

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[Rachel Cruz]

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[Jade Barshaw]

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[Rachel Cruz]

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[Dave Ramsey]

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[Jade Barshaw]

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[Dave Ramsey]

Phone number here is Triple 882-55-5225. Valerie's in Minneapolis. Hi, Valerie, how are you?

[Ken Coleman]

Hi.

[Brianna]

I'm good, thanks. How are you guys?

[Dave Ramsey]

Better than we deserve. What's up?

[Brianna]

Great. Well, I'll try and keep it quick. I had a question. My husband and I were talking about an annuity that I purchased after the sale of a property a few years ago. My advisor recommended that we buy this $25,000 annuity. This was before we were married. And I was wondering, in baby step two, would you treat that kind of like, you know, in the same category as insurance or something like that where we just get rid of it to help us knock down that debt and baby step two?

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, I would certainly learn more about it to make the decision. How long have you had it?

[Brianna]

I bought it in 2021 and it was supposed to mature when I turned, I think 65, I believe. It's a variable rate annuity and it was supposed to be like a guaranteed payout or something like that starting at.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Brianna]

Retirement.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. So a variable. Annuities, mutual funds inside of an annuity, which gives you a guarantee on the principal. You'll never lose principal and you'll have a minimum return on it, which you would have gotten both of those things anyway had you stayed until 65 because you're not that old. The trick with this is they also have a surrender charge. And what I'm trying to figure out, probably you're probably still. Usually they're gone by seven years, maybe five years and you're only four in. So you may have a huge surrender charge if you cash out early. I don't know. But you may have in that. If that's the case, we're probably not going to cash it out now, but. But I am questioning. How old are you?

[Brianna]

I'm 38.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Okay. Your advisor is not a financial advisor. Your advisor is an insurance agent. So you need to change because they don't.

[Brianna]

I'm definitely open to that.

[Dave Ramsey]

No one sells this stuff to a 34 year old except insurance agents. Sometimes a financial advisor will sell a variable annuity, but never to a 34 year old. It would be very, very unusual. Usually the reason is that insurance agents can't sell mutual funds. They don't have a securities license. So this is how they get around it. They got you into mutual funds inside of a variable annuity because this is the only product they could sell that was a real investment. And it's actually not a horrible investment except for the fact that you're trapped in it now and probably with a surrender charge. So I want you to get all the information together and get with. Go to one of our smartvestor pros and sit down with them and let's learn about what the surrender charge is. The surrender charge will tell you whether to tap the brakes or cash it. If the surrender charge is minor, take it and cash it out and use it on your baby step two. Right? But if the surrender charge is half of what you put in or 25% of what you put in and you can wait three years and it goes away, meanwhile it is going up in value, then we're not. There's no reason to take that huge hit.

[Brianna]

Got it.

[Dave Ramsey]

So just kind of analyze it that way and look at the risk return on it and that'll help you move in that direction. So just go to ramseysolutions.com we're not in the investment business. We don't sell investments. Okay? We teach, we're teachers and stir up trouble. That's what we do. But we do have folks in the insurance world that we recommend Zander Insurance and property and casualty, folks in the Ramsey trusted side. We do have people in the investment world to help you sit down. Ken uses one, I use one. We call them smartvestor pros. And they're people that we have vetted and that we are comfortable with and that have the heart of a teacher that are actual financial advisors. They actually can sell mutual funds for your Roth IRA. Do your 401k rollover, help you set stuff up and get it going and sit down with you and look at your overall situation.

[George Camel]

It's a very good point. I just would caution our large audience in a situation like this. Before you sign on to a financial product, make sure that you are getting the pros and cons okay from multiple sources. The Internet's going to give you pros and cons, but talk to real professionals. So if you sit down with somebody like this is in insurance. You go sit with somebody who doesn't sell that product and learn enough to Dave's point that you actually understand what you're doing. This is what happens. People just get sold and they go with the first thing that they get pitched.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, the problem is that investing falls in the heading of something I don't understand for most people. And so I'm intimidated. And then to add to that, sometimes people in the investment world unscrupulously use that to their advantage and Just go and basically adopt a, I don't know, an intimidation sales technique and go, well, I know you don't understand, but I do this for a living. And it's real. The arrogant type of a thing, right? So anytime someone in the investment world, in the money world drops their glasses on the end of their nose and drops that kind of professor, I'm going to talk down to you posture, fire their butt, right? Then just look at them go, oh, we're done, we're done. We're so done, we're not even going to have a clean breakup. You're just getting out of my house right now, okay? Because their job is not to talk down to you. Their job is not to do it for you. Their job is to teach you. And by the way, most of you have more money than they have. So you're sitting there with a half million dollars and this guy's using, driving a hundred dollar Toyota, okay? So you know, most of the time that's what's going on. So you just don't need to take crap off of these people. Their job is to put these investing things into a lingo where you can understand it. And if they sound like Charlie Brown's teacher, even if they're trying, doesn't matter, you got to get rid of them. They have to be able to explain this in a way where you, to your point, Ken, understand what you are doing with your freaking money that you got with the sweat of your brow. And don't you dare act like you're gonna like give me attitude smack you sideways into Sunday. I mean, no possible way you're going to pull that crap. Insurance people do it sometimes real estate people do it. They're not the, they're not the worst though, investment people. And they just, you know, and so what happens is, is that, you know, then they can sell them whatever they want to sell them. Now again, this product that she bought is not horrible, right? It's just inappropriate for a 34 year old.

[George Camel]

Exactly.

[Dave Ramsey]

So the variable annuity is a mutual fund inside of an annuity. The annuity protects it from taxes. It grows like a 401k. A traditional or a traditional IRA grows without paying taxes till you take your money out. The only downside is when you take your money out, it's taxed at ordinary income of capital gains, which is triple what most of you are going to pay in taxes. So the taxes on the growth are very, very high. Also, you're charged not only a mutual fund fee, but you're charged the annuity fee. And this is where their commissions come from. Right. And so nothing wrong with that, but you got doubled up on the fees. It's not the end of the world because they're not super high, but they're not great. And also that you could get these features. There are three or four primary features for a variable annuity. A mutual fund inside of an annu. Primary feature. Number one, they will give you a guarantee of your principal if you leave it alone five or seven years. Okay? Well, 97% of the five year periods in stock market's history are up. So that's not much of a guarantee. Whoopty doopty. But it made you feel good. If you're a scaredy cat, if you. I'm scared about the market. I'm just so scared. If you go in telling people that they're gonna go, oh, well, we could put you in a variable annuity and protect your principal, but you're getting the same thing, but just by hanging out for five to seven years. Okay. The second thing is they'll guarantee you a 5 or a 6% rate of return. Well, the stock market has averaged 11% for 75, 80, 90 years. Okay. Since its inception. The S and P has. So if it's averaged 11, to guarantee you five or six is whoopty doopty. You can get no guarantee, but you got a guarantee. Okay? So I know I'm at least gonna get this and I'm at least got my principal protected. But what it does is if you're scared and you don't learn enough about how the market moves before you buy, then the variable annuity gives you some comfort. The third thing it does that is actually more legitimate than the other two is you can name a beneficiary and it passes outside probate. So there's no probate tax on it in your state. And it does not avoid federal estate taxes. But that's not a problem for most people anyway. Now with the current Trump limits, most people, you get $25 million without taxes on federal, okay? But if you're under 25 million, you've not got federal, but on state you can avoid it with a, with this because it goes, it has a beneficiary element to it because it's technically an insurance product. So it works like insurance. It goes directly to the person outside of the estate. So that, that's actually a nice little touch if you care. By the way, I'm 64. The number of variable annuities I own is precisely zero.

[Brianna]

Foreign.

[Rachel Cruz]

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Life can get messy and work can be stressful. We all know this. And when our work lives and our regular lives collide, our minds and our bodies feel it. There's a ton of research about the impact of workplace stress and bad bosses on your mental and emotional health. And most of us can't just take a vacation from work whenever we want. But we can start with small, manageable steps to take control of our work stress and our home life stress. This includes getting good sleep, getting sunlight, exercise, having good relationships. And for many of us, it means working through challenges with a great therapist. Therapy can help you navigate whatever challenges the workday or any day might bring. And if you're thinking about trying therapy, contact my friends at Better Help. BetterHelp is 100% online, which means it's affordable and convenient. To get started, just fill out a a short online survey to get matched with the licensed therapist. And as the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. BetterHelp has an App Store rating of 4.9 out of 5 stars based on over 1.7 million client reviews. It's incredible. Manage your workday challenges or any challenges with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com Ramsey to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H E L p.com Ramsey.

[Dave Ramsey]

Nick is in Boston. Hey, Nick, how are you?

[Ken Coleman]

Hey, how you doing today?

[Dave Ramsey]

Better than I deserve. How can we help?

[Ken Coleman]

Awesome. So I just had a quick question. I love the show, by the way. I just started listening to you guys. So my wife and I, just a little context. We're 33 years old and we're on baby step. Like 4 or 5 and 6. Somewhere in between there, we had a question. Thank you. We have $150,000 in stocks from her old job that she's not in anymore. And we were wondering if it was worthwhile to put that on the principal of our home.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yes.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay. Yeah, I figured. I'm in a little debate with my family right now.

[Dave Ramsey]

I don't know why your family gets a vote.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, sure.

[Dave Ramsey]

Money.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, Yeah, I agree.

[Dave Ramsey]

So here's the thing. Here's the way. Here's the way. Here's a couple things on this to help you know that my suggestion is right. Here's why I'm telling you this. There's two reasons. One is if you reverse engineer some of these decisions, and the Harvard investment newsletter calls this sunk cost analysis. Okay, so reverse engineer it and say if I had the opportunity to borrow, given my state of mind today, I'm working baby steps 4, 5 and 6, which means you're putting 15% of your income into retirement, you're doing something on kids college, and you're paying anything you can find reasonably on the house as baby step six to pay off the house early. That's the stated goals of 4, 5 and 6. You know that, don't you?

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so if that's where your head is and you had the opportunity to borrow 150,000 on your home to buy stock in your wife's old company, you would never do that.

[Ken Coleman]

No, no, we wouldn't.

[Dave Ramsey]

So keeping it is the exact same thing, only in reverse. It's as if you, by not cashing it and paying it on the house, it's as if you borrowed on the house to buy it. Mathematically, does that make sense?

[Ken Coleman]

Right?

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. So that's one thing. Go ahead, go ahead. I'm sorry.

[Ken Coleman]

Oh, sorry. I was just gonna say the only thing is we right now we have, we have an 18 month old and another child on the way. So our budget is very tight right now where we're kind of like losing about $500 a month. So I didn't know if they people were saying it's just like a backup in case anything were to happen, that we would have that money.

[Dave Ramsey]

You have an emergency fund of three to six months of expenses, correct?

[Ken Coleman]

So we have 30,000, an emergency fund and we have 100,000 in like a high yield money market account.

[Dave Ramsey]

How much backup do you need? The Great Wallenda. What are you doing? Some kind of high rise, high wire trapeze act? You got $280,000 in backup. This is insanity.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, yeah, I agree. I would like to pay the principal down and.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so how much do you owe on your home?

[Ken Coleman]

So we owe 329. And our interest rates 2.875.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so here's what I would do if I woke up in your shoes. Okay? Now I currently own about 650 million in real estate. That's my point of perspective. And I started from being broken, okay? After having lost everything. If I woke up in your shoes, I would put $250,000 down on that house and have a $30,000 emergency fund by the end of the day. Because I know that the data tells me not only in my own Life, but the 10,167 millionaires that we studied, that the millionaires that became millionaires starting from Nothing, which is 89% of them, that's nine out of 10 in America became millionaires starting from nothing. Here's what they did. They paid off their house early and used the increased cash flow to build wealth. And they systematically and steadily invested year after year after year after year in their 401ks and their Roth IRAs and Good Mutual funds. So when we run into a millionaire that's 47 and they've got 1.7 million in net worth, it's typically 7, $800,000 paid for house. 7,800,000 bucks in their 401k. And that's not your broke relatives with an opinion. Those are millionaires.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. So we're only doing 5% in our 401k because my wife's a stay at home mom and I only make like 85 a year.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, I'm sorry, I made a mistake. I thought you said you were doing baby steps four, five and six and you're not. So you're going to to do that before we have a discussion. And if you want to beef up your emergency fund to 40,000 or 50,000 even just to be crazy, that's okay. But 280,000 is moronic. That's just ridiculous. Okay? And you guys need to get your budget tightened up. If you, if you are, if you have zero debt, which I'm now questioning if you do or not accept your home and you're putting 15% of your income away for retirement, you ought to have room in your budget, regardless of the daycare issue. So something else is wrong. So, dude, you're going to have to dial in, do the stuff we're talking about in order for us to say you're doing the stuff you're talking about and you're not. So we got to figure that part out. But reason is you guys have been piling up cash over on the left. So that tells me you're making money and you're good savers. You're just crummy at selecting where because you're taking advice from broke relatives. So, okay, guys, if broke people are making fun of your financial plan, it's like fat people making fun of your diet. Okay? Come on, you gotta think through this. It's just silliness. If you walk in and you hire a personal trainer and they're £450, you made a mistake, okay? It's a problem. And so you've got to go. You know, it's like these people that say, I'm a life coach and they've never had a life, so that's a problem. Okay. So, you know, it's. You should. You should actually have some background, some experience, some track record, some what we call social proof to move forward.

[George Camel]

Yeah, something's off. I'd love to see their budget, because for them to be able to stack away that much cash and still say he's $500 in the red every month, just a couple of things are off, and I think it's gotta be some fundamentals. I don't think it's crazy living.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, obviously not crazy living, because they couldn't save that kind of money. But something's going. They're probably chunking money in there instead of doing their baby step four properly, which is 15% of your household income, not counting the match going into retirement. That's baby step four, which, by the way, if you start that at 33 years old and you have an average household income, when you get to 67, you're going to have, on average, somewhere around $9 million just in that one account. If you just save 15% of your income for 25 or 30 years, if that's all you do, okay? And that's if you never get a raise, which, if you don't get a raise for 30 years, you're like a loser. Okay? So, I mean, seriously, this is. You can. You can. This is a wealth building process, that bar none. But you've got to actually do it. It's not a theory. All right. AJ's in Bowling Green. AJ, what's up?

[Ken Coleman]

Hey. How's it going today? Great.

[Dave Ramsey]

How can we help?

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, so I'm 70, I just retired. I have two adult children, and I'm trying to figure out I have. Up to this point, I have not got a will. And after going to about 10 funerals in the last six months, I figure it's about time to actually do something. But I can't figure out if I need will or a trust.

[Dave Ramsey]

A will.

[Ken Coleman]

I have one guy tell me. I didn't. I will.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, you need a will. Kentucky doesn't have an inheritance tax, dude.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay?

[Dave Ramsey]

You got zero inheritance tax. There's nothing to dodge there. There's no probate tax. So you're gonna leave the money to your kids, right?

[Ken Coleman]

I am.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. You don't need a trust. You need a will. And so you can do a really simple, quick, easy [e-mail] and you can have it done before you lay your head on the pillow tonight, which, aj, you got to get this done.

[Ken Coleman]

I know.

[Dave Ramsey]

Those funerals are God's way of winking at you, you know, I'm the same way. I'm 64. I go to a lot of funerals. Yeah, so it's like. Yeah, so, yeah, you got to get your stuff done, man. Because if you don't, it's all going to be screwed up. Now, what's your net worth? How much is your net worth?

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, it's between three. Here's my breakdown, and it's real simple. I got a rental house that's paid off, that's worth about 220. A condo I live in. I've always lived below my means. It's 120. I got 50 grand in savings and $30,000 in paid off cars. And no debt other than a small payment on this condo.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, you're in good shape. You're gonna be fine. You're gonna be able to eat. That's a good thing. But you need to make you a little list called a will. Your last will and testament. Dude, if I were you, I'd jump on Mama Bear legal forms. With your estate size, it's not a problem to use that. It's gonna lead you right through it. You'll be done in a couple of hours and you never have to think about it again.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Switching banks can be a hassle, and I totally get that. But when Winston and I opened up our Fairwinds account, we were shocked by how quick and easy it was. It just took a few minutes online. We didn't have to block off an entire afternoon or track down paperwork. And the next day, we got a personal call from a Fairwind specialist just checking in. I couldn't believe it. When I answered my phone and I was talking to them, I was like, y' all are the nicest people. Now, if you're working hard to save money, get out of debt and build a future, you should have a bank that supports that, not fights it. That's why I recommend Fairwinds. They created these smart checking and savings bundles specifically for Ramsey fans. Plus, they have a great app. And you have access to over 33,000 fee free ATMs and more than 5,000 shared credit union branches across the country. So you can have access and withdraw your money just like you're used to. No matter where you live, don't settle for a bank that slows down your progress. Make sure you choose one that helps build you up and helps you win with money. Visit Fairwinds.org Ramsey and open your smart bundle today.

[Dave Ramsey]

Fairwinds.org Ramsey Fairwinds.org Ramsey FairWinds is federally.

[Brianna]

Insured by the NCUA.

[Dave Ramsey]

If you're tired of living paycheck to paycheck, feeling like you can't get ahead, join one of our free Every Dollar trainings. There are new trainings every week this month and they're all hosted by one of the Ramsey personalities. Rachel Cruz, George Camel, Jade Barshaw will be there, one of them. And they're going to show you how to stick to a budget even find. Here's the average. This is crazy. We walk you through how to do this and follow these baby steps exactly the way we teach. The typical person is finding right now $9,560 of margin that they didn't know they have. That's called a head start. It's money laying over in the corner. We drag it out of the corner, throw it at the debt, or we cut stuff and it becomes a permanent part of your budget. It's very cool how fast you can move once you get a plan and you got somebody to know how to guide you through it. And there's Q and A, live Q and A during this. So sign up for the free RamseySolutions.com webinar. The free EveryDollar training RamseySolutions.com webinar with one of the Ramsey personalities. We're going to walk you through not only just the budget stuff, but also use the budget to go somewhere like become wealthy and outrageously generous and man, there you go. Very cool stuff. Dee is in British Columbia. Hi Dee, how are you?

[Ken Coleman]

Hey guys. I'm hoping you can help me with a business related problem or challenge. I'm just about to start life transition and I want to know what I should prioritize and how I should go about getting starting my business when it comes time.

[George Camel]

What kind of business are we talking about?

[Ken Coleman]

So I'm a journeyman carpenter. I've been working in timber framing production and installation as well as mass timber for the last three and a half, four years. And I want to start my own timber frame installation and mass timber installation company.

[George Camel]

How expensive is that to get off the ground?

[Ken Coleman]

So the way I see scales almost all the way down and almost all the way up. I have a lot of tools myself and because I would be doing the installation side and not the production side, I can imagine getting started for less than $5,000 doing smaller residential projects and sort of scaling up from there.

[George Camel]

And what are you making now in your current job?

[Ken Coleman]

My current job, My base is $38 an hour which is roughly 90,000 or sorry, roughly 80,000 regular time, but I do work overtime, so I'm guessing It's roughly around 100,000. And my wife also makes about 38,000, so we're grossing somewhere around 120,000 to $130,000 a year.

[George Camel]

Do you have any debt?

[Ken Coleman]

No debt. We're in baby step 3B, so we are trying to. Well, we haven't yet started saving up for a down payment, but we' done the emergency fund. We have about $17,000 for that. And. Yeah, and the transition is that we have been living apart for the last few years, and so we're moving in together as well. So, you know, I want to prioritize having time in that relationship. It's been really hard to consistently budget and do all these things together. We've been having weekly meetings, but obviously when you only talk, you know, about these things once a week, it can get challenging. So I do want to prioritize, like, really coming together and being cohesive and not putting too much on my plate.

[Dave Ramsey]

All at once, just being in the same town. I'll give you time to do that. That's. That's. You don't have to, like, not work three days a week to do that, so.

[Ken Coleman]

No, not at all.

[George Camel]

But you're talking about you want to prioritize that not launching the new business, Correct?

[Ken Coleman]

Well, I feel like I just have a lot of. A lot of gold. Like, we want to buy a house soon. I'm also almost done building a cabin where I'm moving from, so.

[George Camel]

Well, you can't do it all. So here's the deal. The bottom line is, is the current job is not just sustaining you, but.

[Dave Ramsey]

It'S also a different city from his wife. Yeah.

[George Camel]

Oh, you're moving to her. I missed that detail.

[Ken Coleman]

Yes, yes, yes, I'm moving.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[George Camel]

Well, I don't think it's wise to start a business from scratch while doing all this. If I could work for somebody else and then start that business on the side, because it's a pretty big risk. And here's what I can think of. Here you are moving to actually be in the same house with your wife. So now we're learning how to live together. And then this added pressure of supporting yourself with this fledgling new business. If it were me, I would attempt to take the current skill and trade that I have, and I would move to a new location and get something making same or more if I could, and then slowly start the business on the side day.

[Dave Ramsey]

What's the cabin going to sell for?

[Ken Coleman]

That's a hard Question. But I wasn't planning to sell it.

[Dave Ramsey]

You're not living there. You're moving to another city.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. So the way it is right now, the land that it's on, there's already property management going on there. And I. And so I was planning to have the people who are already managing the other properties do Airbnb and keeping it as a vacation home. And I've been cash flowing this for.

[Dave Ramsey]

You have never met an idea you didn't like. You are so freaking ADD Man. You're gonna fail in business.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

You've got to decide. Ken's right. You're gonna decide to do one thing. It's your only possible way to be in business. Airbnb in a cabin that you built with your own hands on the other side of the British Columbia while you move to the other side and you try to start a business from the ground up, and you're trying to be newly married, and we're trying to save up and buy a house. Oh, my God. Let me tell you, how many of these things are not going to work. All of them are not going to work because you're not going to be good at any of them. Jack of all trades, Master of none. No focus whatsoever. The people that win, focus. So decide which one comes first. And until the next thing. So if I'm you, okay, it's gonna be hard to talk you into this because you're, what, 24? How old are you?

[Ken Coleman]

I'm 32, Dave.

[Dave Ramsey]

32. Okay, so be hard to talk you into this, but if I woke up in your shoes, your wife is your number one priority. You did say that, and I agree with that, by the way. That also will lead you to success. Hello. Because marriage is grand. Divorce is 50 grand. So there you go. So if I'm you, I'm selling a B. I'm not gonna run an Airbnb halfway across the moon. No way. That's a. That's a nightmare looking for a place to happen. I'm gonna sell the crap out of that and go. I'm gonna put that money in my pocket and I'm gonna go home and spend some time with my wife. We are not gonna talk about buying a house for two years. We're gonna rent something cheap, and we're gonna launch this business, and we're gonna be married. Now, that's under one. That. That's. If this other question comes through and you tell me this D. The area that you're moving to, what's the economy like? Is it booming? Dead or middle?

[Ken Coleman]

I don't have a firm idea, but I think that it's probably on the upper side of. It's not. Probably not.

[Brianna]

Booming.

[Ken Coleman]

Booming.

[Dave Ramsey]

What's the city?

[Ken Coleman]

It's Edmonton, Alberta.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. When you drive through Edmonton, Alberta, how many cranes are in the air?

[Ken Coleman]

Quite a few. There's lots of construction going on.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. That's what I'm looking for. All right. There's stuff moving there. It's not dead. It's a good city. It is a good city, by the way. I agree. It's a good city. So I think you can go there and you can make 50 to 100,000 your first year. If you bust your hump and you don't worry about an Airbnb across the thing and you don't worry about buying a house, you and your wife lock arms and get up and go swing the freaking hammer every morning in a town that's doing construction left and right and you can go make your money back. I think you can get started for little or nothing. But if you try to do six things at once, you're going to do none of them.

[Ken Coleman]

So you would start, you would prioritize the business even over the cabin? A home? Yes, over the cabin.

[Dave Ramsey]

But yeah, because you have to have an income when you move. And I think you can make as much or more on your own because I think you're that guy. I really think you've got the energy level, the entrepreneurship to go do it. And part of being an entrepreneur is being a wee bit addicted. Okay. I mean, I've struggled with watching squirrels my whole life. Right, Squirrel. And so, yeah, so you can do this, but you're gonna have to commit to focus. I'm gonna send you a book. I wrote a little 37 page book called the Momentum Theorem. Focused intensity over time multiplied by God equals unstoppable momentum. The opposite of that is no momentum, which is no good life. And it comes from focused intensity over time multiplied by the blessings of God equals unstoppable momentum. Hang on, I'm gonna send you a copy of that. You need to read it because I recognize you. I've seen you in the mirror. Oh, yeah, the 33 year old version of Dave scares the pants off of me. These days, business as usual is anything but. Tariffs make trade policy a moving target. Supply chains are squeezed and cash flow is probably tighter than ever. So if your business can't adapt in real time, you're in a world of hurt. That's why you need NetSuite by Oracle, trusted by more than 42,000 businesses, including Ramsey Solutions. You need to see what's happening, what's stuck and what's costing you and how to fix it. And NetSuite is the number one cloud based business management suite because it helps your business make the right decisions fast. It brings accounting, financial management, inventory and HR into one place so you're not left shuffling a dozen different spreadsheets. That gives you the visibility you need to make quick decisions based on actionable data. And NetSuite AI automates everyday tasks so your team can focus on strategy. It's one system for full control and no guesswork to tame the chaos. And right now, if you're leading a business doing more than a million dollars in annual revenue, download NetSuite's free ebook Navigating Global Trade. Three insights for [e-mail] Ramsey that's NetSuite.com Ramsey Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create actual amazing relationships. Ken Coleman Ramsey personality number one best selling author and host of the show, front row seat on the Ramsey Networks. Be sure and check it out. Check out this, this week's version. It dropped I guess last a few days back with Jimmy John that started the sandwich shop multi billionaire guy. It is a long form interview, especially if you've ever wanted to be inspired. The guy is inspiring and I've listened to it all the way through. It's pretty incredible.

[George Camel]

Thank you. He's such a gem and he is the American dream and it's alive and well.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, I mean overcoming some crap, right. And then win and not bashful either.

[George Camel]

And you said he's one of the nicest people you've ever met.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. He really giving, don't you think?

[George Camel]

Oh, I think so. I mean you got a personal story there but just couldn't be a kinder guy, support so many people that have meant something to him. And you know, you hear nothing but negative stuff about billionaires. Give that conversation a listen, it might change your mind about billionaires.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, I have met, I think somewhere north of 75 billionaires now and spent a substantial time, not just a passing conversation. And truthfully only one of them was an absolute scumball. I mean you want to go take a shower after you got done, right? But the rest of them are some of the most giving, understated, unassuming, generous people. And generous not only in the sense of giving to charity or a ministry or something like that, but just the person that holds the door when you got a bag of groceries in your arm, you know? Yeah. Just giving. And, you know, doesn't ever come to your home for dinner without, you know, some kind of something. Right. And, you know, they came to our house for dinner. He said, the world's best box of chocolates I think I've ever eaten in my life. They're incredible. Two weeks later, they come, and Sharon's like, I like this guy. Yeah. Yeah.

[George Camel]

And he showed up for the interview. Just. I mean, looked like he just walked off the boat, you know? Nice T shirt, shorts.

[Dave Ramsey]

He did.

[George Camel]

He couldn't be more unassuming.

[Dave Ramsey]

He loves to fish. He probably never know. Probably just landed.

[George Camel]

Exactly.

[Dave Ramsey]

Right. Good stuff. Hey, check it out, guys. You'll enjoy it. It's worth the. Worth the. Listen, Cole is with us in Tampa, Florida. Hey, Cole. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

[Ken Coleman]

Good afternoon, gentlemen. How are you all doing?

[Dave Ramsey]

Better than we deserve. How can we help?

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, so I just had a question. So my girlfriend and I are planning on. Or I'm planning on proposing in October. Within the next couple months. Yep. So I'm very, very excited for that. And we're actually gonna. We're planning on getting married in January, so it's gonna be a pretty quick turnaround.

[Dave Ramsey]

Cool.

[Ken Coleman]

But so her parents are actually going to be gifting us $50,000 for the wedding, and then, you know, to cover those expenses, and then the honeymoon, and then anything else after that we can save.

[Dave Ramsey]

Cool. Well, you know a lot about this, considering you hadn't even proposed.

[George Camel]

Very confident.

[Ken Coleman]

I know. I know. Well, we've talked that. We've talked about a lot. So we're. We got. We got it all down pat.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

But, yeah, so we're. We're planning on. We want to keep the wedding. You know, we don't want to go crazy. Maybe like, between 10 and 15. And honestly, weddings are super expensive right now.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Ken Coleman]

Surprise. With some sticker shock recently. Yeah. So we want. We want to be about 10. Between 10 and 15 for the wedding, and then probably, I would say up to 10 for the honeymoon. So that remaining 25 to 30. We're kind of. You know, we're just kind of wondering what we should be doing with that and where. Where that should be at.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Do you guys, either one of you have debt?

[Ken Coleman]

Yes. So I have about 25,000, excluding my mortgage.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. What about her?

[Ken Coleman]

And. And she has. She has no debt.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. That doesn't surprise me. Okay. And your 25,000 song. What?

[Ken Coleman]

So it's split up between my Car and then two personal loans, and then I owe my parents some money because my AC went out.

[Dave Ramsey]

What do you make?

[Ken Coleman]

So my base salary is 45,000, but I make this year, I'm on track to make 75,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. All right. And you're saving for a ring?

[Ken Coleman]

Yes, sir. Yep.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's why we're trying to get to October. Okay. And. All right, so if you really turn on the coal, turn. Turn on the heat and light up the coals or whatever you want to call it, and go crazy, and you don't do nothing except ring and debt ringing debt, ringing debt until the wedding. How much of this can you clear?

[Ken Coleman]

So we did. I mean, so. Okay, so we talked about this the other night, and I have a goal of clearing out 6,000 of it before December. And I feel like that's kind of conservative, I think.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, that sucks.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. Yeah. I think. I think if I went on beans and rice and rice and beans, I could definitely.

[Dave Ramsey]

I want you to clear all of it before you get married.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay.

[George Camel]

So that means no beans, just rice.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, I think you got to get on it. I think you're gonna have to get your every dollar budget out and really crank it down to nothing. And then I want you working like a maniac. So you bring little to no debt into this marriage. How much do you owe your parents?

[Ken Coleman]

Like, 3,500.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Yeah, you definitely got to clear that if you use the wedding money from her family to pay your parents. That's weird.

[George Camel]

Yeah, I felt the same thing. That was gross.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, that's. That's gross. I can't do that.

[George Camel]

What's your car situation? What's it worth versus what you owe?

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, so my car. I would say it's worth. I looked at the Kelly blue book not too long ago. It's about between 10 and $12,000. And I owe, like, just over. Just over 6 on it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. If you're making 75,000, you clear your parents, you clear the car. And what was the other one?

[Ken Coleman]

So it's a. It's a 3030, $100 personal loan, and then the other one is, like, a $12,000 personal loan.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. All right, so if the $12,000 personal loans, the largest one, it sounds like. So it's at the bottom of your debt. Snowball, you're in attack. Everything's gone but that or. And most of it should be gone.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

You got. You got. You got six months. Ready, set, go. Crank it, baby. Get it. 75,000. I need 25,000 to be done in a year. And I need, you know, So I need 14, 15, 16, 18,000 or whatever to be done. Yeah, you can't quite make it, but you might get so close. Then you're not using much of this money, this leftover money to pay off your debt, which is what I'm trying to avoid.

[Ken Coleman]

Yes, sir.

[Dave Ramsey]

I also left out buying a ring. So that's also. That's going to be even harder. But. Yeah, but if you get everything done but that twelve thousand dollar loan, I'm probably.

[George Camel]

You got stuff in that house you can sell?

[Ken Coleman]

Not much. It's a bachelor pattern. Me and my brother are here.

[Dave Ramsey]

Show your bean bag. Yeah, okay. All right, so. Yeah, I. All right, so number one, you're going to work on the debt as hard as you can. How expensive a ring are we talking about?

[Ken Coleman]

So she's actually going to be listening to this.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, well, don't. Don't say. Don't say then. That's good. Yeah, thank. Thank you for bringing that up. Okay. I didn't think of that.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right, so I want you to budget the ring and the debt and the wedding. And be very, very careful. And then when you guys clear that clear and come home from the honeymoon, then you can decide what you're gonna do with this money. If you're gonna pay off the rest of your debt, which is probably what you're gonna do. But not parents. You need to clear the parents before you get there. That's icky. Also, on the wedding, be sure and put a number down. Do a full budget like it's a project. The dress is gonna be this much. The videographer is gonna be this much. The catering is gonna be this much. Every dollar. And make sure that total fits. And then you have to manage the people into that. Otherwise you'll bust that wedding budget wide open.

[Jade Barshaw]

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[Dr. John Deloney]

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[Jade Barshaw]

Don't like that. And just a year ago, get this, the average person had about 300 pieces of personal data floating around online. Now it's over 600. It has doubled in a year.

[Dr. John Deloney]

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[Jade Barshaw]

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[Dr. John Deloney]

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[Jade Barshaw]

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[Dr. John Deloney]

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[Dave Ramsey]

Yes.

[Jade Barshaw]

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[Dave Ramsey]

Jesse's in Fredericksburg, Virginia. Hi, Jesse. How are you?

[Brianna]

Oh, you know, I've been better.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, what's up?

[Brianna]

I just recently. So on the 1st of this month, I received a call from my ex husband's neighbor. Then the cops were there to do a welfare check. I gave him access to the house, and they found him passed away.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, wow, that's weird.

[Brianna]

Yeah. Well, I mean, he had diabetes and didn't take care of it very well.

[Dave Ramsey]

How old was he?

[Brianna]

So he would have been 50 next month.

[Dave Ramsey]

How long y' all been divorced?

[Brianna]

Since March.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, just the other day. Okay. Wow.

[Brianna]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

And so that's how you had access to the house? I mean.

[Brianna]

Yeah. I mean, we remained friends. We were unequally yoked. I'm a Christian and he was an atheist. And the further my faith grew, the further the friction in our home grew. And we just both decided that we'd rather be rem. Be able to remain friends than get to the point where we hated each other. So, I mean, you know, I talk to him, like, every couple weeks and that kind of thing.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, where does this leave you now?

[Brianna]

Well, he didn't listen very well. And when we got divorced, I recommended that he name a new benefit beneficiary for his life insurance and IRA and all that stuff. He did not. I also told him to create a will, and he did not. So I'm still listed as the beneficiary. The house that he had, that's going to go through probate. He only has one blood heir, and that would be his brother. His brother lives in the Philippines. So he's giving me power of attorney to kind of handle things stateside for him. So I'm going to be the estate admin for the probate situation to sell the house.

[Dave Ramsey]

And the proceeds from the house will go to his brother.

[Brianna]

Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

And you're the beneficiary on his life.

[Brianna]

Insurance, 401k and his IRA.

[Dave Ramsey]

IRA. Okay.

[Brianna]

So between the life insurance, the IRA and the estate administrative fees that I guess the estate's required to pay the estate administrator in Virginia, I'm looking to get $235,100. My current husband and I just got married. My current husband and I together, we have about $44,000 in debt during a divorce settlement. I took that money and I paid off my student loans and I created a emergency fund. And it's got about 12,000 in it. So baby steps one and two or one and three are done.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, except that's not the order. It's one, two, three. But yeah.

[Brianna]

Yeah. Well, I didn't really pay much attention to you until I was going through.

[Dave Ramsey]

I got it.

[Brianna]

His stuff. Like my ex husband, he used to talk about you guys all the time. And when we split up, there was $30,000 worth of debt that he took. And when I went through all of his stuff, he only owed $2,300 and a credit card, and that was it. And he. And he was. And he had $1,000 in the emergency fund. So, like, looking at his statements, it screamed Dave Ramsey.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so how can I help you today, hon?

[Brianna]

So there is. After I pay off debt, there's going to be about $191,000 left. And I just want to make. Make a good. Make good choices with it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Okay. So that will put you into. You need to finish up your emergency fund, you and your new husband. Is 12,000 not enough. So we're going to use some of it and have a fully funded emergency fund of three to six months of expenses.

[Brianna]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

And then do you know what I'm going to tell you to do next after you do baby step three, baby step four. Do you know what that is?

[Brianna]

The one that's paying off the house?

[Dave Ramsey]

No. That's 15% of your income going into retirement. So we're going to fill up retirement. 15%. You and your new husband, combined finances, combined assets, combined liabilities. Does the new husband have any debt yet?

[Brianna]

He's got. So the 44,000, that's mine and his.

[Ken Coleman]

Oh, we're one. Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

Good. So box checked. Box checked. Good. Okay.

[Brianna]

Yeah, I'm Equally yoked this time. And he is very frugal.

[Dave Ramsey]

There's a lot of people talk about that, but don't do it. Okay, good.

[Brianna]

Oh, no. His actions matched his words.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so what we're going to do is 15% of your income going into retirement. If you got kids for college, that's baby step five and six is pay off the house. So I'm assuming you guys have a mortgage or you will use this money to buy your first home, one of the two, and you're just gonna walk right up the baby steps, kiddo. Very strange and almost eerie way to get money. But it is what it is and there's nothing immoral or unethical about it. And it's just. Just unusual, you know, which is. Yeah, so. But don't commingle the money that you got as a beneficiary with the estate. That has nothing to do with the estate. That's passing outside the estate and goes directly to you. The estate itself you're managing as a favor to his brother, getting a small fee, not a huge one, to manage the sale of the house. And then the equity will be sent to him after his credit card debt is paid or whatever little bit of debt he has. But you don't use the money. You got to do anything at all. You're under no moral or legal obligation. As a matter of fact, it'd be downright foolish for you to use that money for anything in this estate. Very unusual. Very weird. Okay. Hey, thanks for the call. Open phones at Triple 882-522 5. Fina is in Los Angeles. Hi, Fina, how are you?

[Brianna]

Hi, Davinkin. Thanks so much for taking my call. Sure. I have a call. I have a question about Ren homeownership. So my spouse and I are debt free and we are currently saving for a down payment on a home.

[Dave Ramsey]

Good.

[Brianna]

So we've come across some of these rent to own offers. And while they really felt like a shortcut to homeownership, they're a little skeptical. Okay, so is it legit or is it just.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, they're legit, but the math doesn't work in your favor and the legal position doesn't work in your favor. You can pay on it for years and years and years and years and years and still not ever end up with a house house if the company you're dealing with goes bankrupt.

[Brianna]

Okay. And if we do a direct, you know, kind of like a private sale.

[Dave Ramsey]

Just do a regular purchase. No, just don't do a rent on rent on has got the math is set up to where we used to do leases with an option or rent to own all the time when I owned a bunch of real estate in my first life and the number of people that actually followed all the way through and closed on the deal was zero.

[Brianna]

Okay, yeah, gotcha.

[Dave Ramsey]

So say just save up, take a little bit more time, do it the slow way, save up and put your good Solid down payment 15 year fixed rate mortgage where the payments no more than a fourth of your take home pay. And that will get you there.

[George Camel]

Dave, what's the marketing hook? What's the emotional pull when you've got a rent to buy quick and easy?

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Real estate is difficult and slow, right? Buying your first home, particularly because it's complicated, it's something you've never done, it's intimidating, it's a big number, it's all of those things. So it's slow and it's complicated.

[George Camel]

So they flip this one at you.

[Dave Ramsey]

And so you just go, oh, you just slide right in here. Just start paying, just. You're a renter now. Just keep being a renter. And then you get to own, right? But then when you add it up, you paid for the stinking thing three times before you get into it. And the way to think about it is this, okay, if you need a washer and dryer, if you're broke, save up and buy one on Facebook Marketplace that's slightly used from some old lady in the rich end of town who just wanted to upgrade and bought the brand new one. And this one's four years old or three years old. And you can buy that for, you know, washer and dryer is 2,500 bucks. You know, a front load, be 2500 a piece, that kind of thing, right? Or, and you could buy that for 5, 600 bucks, okay? Or you can go to the wrong end of town where people get ripped off and do literally rent to own it. Says it on the front on the washer and dryer. And when you add up how long you've rented that before you own it, you will have paid $8,000, you know, for, for a 4,000 or $5,000 set. And you will, you know, you will have paid $8,000 and you could have bought it, fused for 500 bucks and owned it. So this is what you avoid. You just avoid that because they're basically, they're making a bank on you. I've been helping people get margin back in their budget for over 30 years. And switching your phone plan is one of the easiest wins out there, especially with Boost mobile. Boost gives you unlimited talk, text and data for just $25 a month. And I'm not talking about some promo rate that goes up later. That $25 price is locked in forever. No contracts, no headaches. And with their 30 day money back guar there's no risk. So stop wasting money. Go to boostmobile.com Ramsey today restrictions apply. See boostmobile.com Ramsey for details. John is in Nashville. Hi John. How are you doing?

[Ken Coleman]

Good. How are you guys doing?

[Dave Ramsey]

Better than we deserve. How can we help?

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, so I'll try to make it quick. So currently I have 120k in debt with my wife. 30 of it is a HELOC and 90 is credit card debt. And my take home is 3600amonth, but the minimum payments on the cards are 2,600. So basically I'm kind of struggling on where to go next and if I should file bankruptcy or if I should try to extend my HELOC to cover the debt.

[Dave Ramsey]

What is your home worth?

[Ken Coleman]

I believe Redfin pulled it out at 350 and I owe 193 on it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Including the HELOC.

[Ken Coleman]

With the HELOC, it would be 220.

[Dave Ramsey]

Gotcha. Okay. All right. How did you do that on 3600? What's your wife make?

[Ken Coleman]

She's a stay at home mom now, but she used to be a teacher.

[Dave Ramsey]

What did you use to make a lot more money?

[Ken Coleman]

No, we kind of just use credit cards and pay them off. And then how did you get, how.

[Dave Ramsey]

Did you get this, a mortgage this size? Well, on 3, 600 income. Oh, your wife was working. You had to double the income when you did the deal?

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. And it was in 2019.

[Dave Ramsey]

What are you doing for a living rate for?

[Ken Coleman]

I. I'm a financial analyst, which is kind of ironic.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, well, they don't teach you this stuff. They teach you academic teachers, your stuff about corporate world. And so it's a different skill set. It is ironic, but it is. Yeah. In your defense, that's the case. So how old are you?

[Ken Coleman]

I'm 30.

[Dave Ramsey]

And how many kids have y' all got?

[Ken Coleman]

One now and then one on the way.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Okay. There's two types of bankruptcy that apply to this situation. A chapter 13, which is a payment plan. And in order to enter a chapter 13, you will have to pay payments to everyone, pennies on the dollar. But in your case it will be more than that. And 78% of the Chapter 13s don't make it they fail. So it's a five year plan and you pay payments on the credit cards for five years. The HELOC would be paid 100%, the mortgage would be paid 100% or you don't get to keep the house.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

And I'm not sure you have the money to do that, do you?

[Ken Coleman]

Right now I'm not behind on anything.

[Dave Ramsey]

If you didn't have any credit card debt, do you have the money to pay those house payments? You really don't, do you?

[Ken Coleman]

No.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. So why don't we just sell the house and pay off the credit cards?

[Ken Coleman]

We were thinking about it. The issue is we do have it at 2% and.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, but you don't have a choice. You can't keep the house. You're gonna lose the house in bankruptcy if you file. The other type of bankruptcy is a Chapter 7 bankruptcy. And in Tennessee you have a $7,500 homestead exemption, which means that you get to keep $7,500 of your equity. So the Chapter 7 trustee is going to make you sell the house to pay the credit cards in chapter seven, if you want to wipe out the credit cards completely, the only way you get to do that is they're going to take your house and use it to pay the credit cards, which you should have just done that and not filed bankruptcy. Okay. Chapter 13 is payments, and you can't pay the payments. You can't afford to stay there. So now that your wife is a full time mom, you cannot, you can no longer afford this house. Thus the problem. That's how you got the credit card debt, right? Yeah. So unless you see a situation reasonably where your income is going to double in the next five to seven months, you're selling the house to. Dude, you don't really have a choice. You file bankruptcy, they're going to take it. You go into chapter 13, the 13 is going to fail because you can't pay the payments. And, and you can't use any credit cards after that because they'll throw you out of the bankruptcy and be a little bit hard to get one. Not really. Probably could get one while you're in the 13, but anyway, because they're that stupid. But anyway, the man, I don't see a way out. So the two types of bankruptcy don't help you. One puts you in payments that you can't afford already because they have to be paid 100% on secured loans. Okay. You don't get away from that on chapter 13, chapter 7, the equity, you're allowed to keep is only $7,500. You have way more equity than that. So the trustee is going to force the sale of the asset to pay your bills. And then the other way is you just sell the asset and pay your bills. I guess the fourth option is, you know something I don't know in this conversation, which is your income's getting ready to dou. Is that the case?

[Ken Coleman]

No. I wish.

[Dave Ramsey]

What are you doing for a living?

[Ken Coleman]

Working for just an investment company in Nashville.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Oh, you told me that financial.

[George Camel]

What's your house worth?

[Dave Ramsey]

He's worth 350 and he owes 193. Yeah, off the credit cards.

[George Camel]

No, I get it. But the reason I asked that is because you. Your response to Dave was when he said, why not pay off the house? You said, well, I'm at 2%, which means you think you're going to be owning a house and you're just not going to be a position to buy a house coming out of this. You've got to set your mind for. We're renting for a while as we rebuild.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. You're 100% debt free. You make 3,600, you got a couple of kids, you're 30 years old, and from there you decide what your career track is going to look like. And that leads you back into home ownership again. Someday. But not immediately. But let me tell you what else is going to happen, is when you wake up at 2 o' clock in the morning and it feels like a car is sitting on your chest right now, that's gonna be gone. That's gonna be gone. You're gonna be able to breathe again. You're gonna be a better daddy, a better husband, better employee, because you can breathe again. Because, man, I've been where you are, but I had extra zeros on it, and it sucks. Your life is not good right now. Your stomach is in your throat, your chest is tight, your traps are tight, your shoulders are all bunched up around your ears, and it just. It's no fun. The stress is manifesting itself in your relationship. 100. You know, the number one cause of divorce is money fights and money problems. The stress around it is ridiculous. You're looking at her going, man, if we hadn't, you know, brought you home, we might have been able to keep all this stuff. But wait a minute. We did want to bring you home because of the kids. And now I got a 2%. All these things are just swimming. I'd clear the deck and start my life fresh with a breath of cool mountain air where I could breathe again, please, for your sake. Because here's the thing. You're going to choose to be proactive in this situation or the math is going to make a choice for you. You don't have a choice, okay? You're going to lose this house unless you double your income because you simply can't pay. Pay it. And if you go into bankruptcy, they're going to take it because you've got enough equity to pay the bill. Because that's what bankruptcy is. You don't have anything to sell and you can't pay your bills. You got something to sell. And so that's the way the law is written. That way those, you know, the creditors expect you to pay your bills with what you have, income or assets. And that's why the way the law is written. So I'm sorry, man, sorry you're facing all this. But, but yeah, you guys backed into this and then you tried to hold on with credit cards and the credit cards sunk you. But even if the credit cards weren't there, you still can't afford this house on 3600 bucks with two kids in Nashville, Tennessee. Don't work. Doesn't work. So yeah, something's got to give. Something's got to give. So you're gonna be renting a while until you get your career in gear and get moving. And I'm sorry you're facing this, but I will encourage you. It's hard to visualize for you right now because there's shame involved in condemnation and everything else. But I'm telling you, dude, that Volkswagen is sitting on your chest at 2am it's going to be gone and you're going to sleep a whole night. I remember this. I remember the feeling of the weight of the world hanging around your neck and you can't breathe. And I remember, I remember knowing that it was my fault that I did it and it just so. It pissed me off like double. Right? You know what I'm saying? This is a huge mess and I did it. That's a two hit. That's right. That's punched in the face twice. And the shame that goes with that and the self forgiveness and so forth. But you were trying to do a good thing. You're trying to let her be home with the babies. You're trying to work a good job, trying to be a homeowner. And they, the things all got mixed up and it went sideways with $90,000 worth of credit card debt. I'm so sorry. Hang on. We're going to put you into Financial Peace University so you can recover from the sale of this house quicker. And it includes the EveryDollar advanced version which will guide you through these baby steps of rebuilding for your life. And you can do this. You're smart. You just did some dumb things. I'm smart, but I did more dumb things than you did. The Ramsey Show Question of the day is brought to you by. Why Refi feeling stuck with private student loans that are in default? Why refi can reduce your payments and help you regain control of your money? Take the first step towards getting unstuck. Go to yrefi.com Ramsey that's the letter y r e f y.com Ramsey might not be in all states.

[George Camel]

Today's question comes from Diana in Oklahoma. For late in life marriages, is it better to have a marriage certificate signed but not filed with our state if we want to protect a 401k from being drained to pay for long term care for the other spouse? I've had to work hard to make retirement possible for myself and I'm very concerned that filing the paperwork might jeopardize all of that. I would prefer to do things legally, but not at the expense of my future. Well, when it comes to potentially shading illegal financial moves, that freaks me out. And I actually don't know the answer to that, but I think you do.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, there are two kinds of nursing homes. There's nursing homes that you pay for that are private and there's nursing homes that accept welfare, which is Medicaid. And so what you're saying is you want to plan to be on welfare. Well, if you've ever done anything on welfare, you will find that the quality of life is not usually that good. There's not, it's not, it's not like prosperity or something like that. Right. So it's the DMV of nursing homes. Right. So, you know, if, you know, I suggest for you get all hottie toddy about this. You go visit a Medicaid nursing home and see if you want anybody you love there if you have the money to do otherwise. If it's all you can do, it's all you can do. But it is designed for people who are in poverty. That's what Medicaid is, it's welfare. And so if you're not in poverty and you're trying to pretend to be in poverty to protect your money, that's called fraud. And the government will take your money anyway. Now if you want to put your new spouse in a Medicaid nursing home instead of a regular nursing home. Instead of using your money, there are provisions in the law that allow your personal residence to be protected. So the wife in this case stays in the home, husband goes to the nursing home, the nurse, Medicaid picks up everything, you go on welfare and you don't have to lose your home to do that. And most of the situations also have some protections for your retirement funds, your 401k funds. So you're probably okay anyway. But you need a better decision making framework than how can I put my spouse in welfare? How can I put my spouse on welfare? That's a crummy way of looking at the world, kiddo. And so yeah, yeah, yeah, I worked hard on my life and so I'm gonna put everybody on welfare. That's just dumb. Okay, that's what I mean. Let me try to be a little bit more clear and less sophisticated in my lingo. That's dumb. Don't, don't, don't let welfare be your best plan. And I'm going to figure out some way to shade around and not file with my marriage certificate and all this other bull crap so that I can stick my new spouse into a welfare nursing home. Dumb. Okay, now what can you do? Well, number one, you can continue to build wealth. Number two, you guys can talk about and shop around looking at nursing home care. You can figure out if in home care is less expensive because sometimes it can be. You literally can hire someone with an elevated bed, buy an elevated bed and hire someone to work in your home 24,7 cheaper than some nursing homes. And so you can self insure through that issue. You can look into long term care insurance, which if you're over 60 and you're worried about these kinds of things because you don't have enough money to pay for them, which is apparently your case, then you can get long term care insurance. Long term care insurance will cover about three years of nursing home care and you can buy that. And three years covers about 90 something percent of the nursing home stay. The, the average nursing home stay is about 2.8 years. Okay? Because they die. So you just don't, people don't live there for 22 years. You know, it's not, that's not something they do. So typically you know that that's what we find. So if you can buy long term care insurance, you can continue to build wealth, you can investigate self insurance and staying at home, but you don't commit welfare fraud. And you don't use a decision making paradigm of, you know what, I don't really want to buy a house. So I'm just going to go and get Section 8 and the government can pay for my housing, and I'm going to. I'm going to hide all of my income and I'm going to hide all of my assets so that the government provides me free housing in section 8. It's the same thing. Have you ever been to Section 8 housing? I've owned some. Okay. They're not horrible, by and large. Some of them are. Are. But. But it's not. It's not like prosperity. It's not like this is my golden years. This will be your copper years. Okay? So, I mean, this is not. No, you don't want to live like that. And besides that, you don't want to commit fraud to get government help, and.

[George Camel]

You probably shouldn't get married that late in life. If this is how you're going to look at your money versus their money, you could hear in this.

[Dave Ramsey]

You're going to look at your money versus their life.

[George Camel]

Yeah, it's pretty.

[Dave Ramsey]

You like your money more than you do them, I think. I think so. Yeah. I don't. I don't want to be on that. It's like, you know, we went. I mean, we were talking about so and so that passed away the other day, and Sharon said, well, they were old. And that's like her comment. Okay. She comes. This is. She says this all the time. She comes from the country, you know, so, you know, animals come and go and people die.

[Ken Coleman]

Old.

[George Camel]

High probability of that if you're old.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's how. That's why they die. They were old. And so I told my friends, since our whole estate plan is predicated on me dying first, if Sharon starts telling people I'm old, y' all gotta watch my back.

[George Camel]

That is a good.

[Dave Ramsey]

Gotta watch my back. Because right before you go to the funeral home, Sharon says, you're old. So there you go.

[George Camel]

We need cameras in every room.

[Dave Ramsey]

That person's old. That person's old. So on the other hand, she. She has a great life and she's never gonna get old. So there you go. That's it.

[George Camel]

But kudos to Sharon.

[Dave Ramsey]

She's.

[George Camel]

She's very health conscious. I don't know anybody that's more health conscious than she is.

[Dave Ramsey]

We bit about. Yes. So the deal is you don't get out of paying for the nursing home. And here's an interesting thing, since I've just kind of been up on my soapbox anyway. Let's just stay there for a second. It's interesting to me that this same lady would never in a million years go to a restaurant and figure out a way to eat their food and not pay them. And yet she's willing to do that with the government. Yeah. And then willing to do that with substandard care for someone she loves. There's something about the nursing. The nursing home is going to get all our money. There's something about that vibe that people. I worked all my life and then the nursing home got it all. No, you bought services. It's like you don't say, I worked all my life and the guy that put the transmission in my car got it all. No, you don't say that. You know, you bought a transmission and a guy to put the transmission in car. Your car. You know, why do we attack nursing homes? Because we're mad at them. They're expensive, I guess is one thing. And it's end of life, maybe that's another thing. So it's emotional. But nursing homes, by and large are not a bunch of crooks. They just provide a service and you can choose whether to buy it or not. It's pretty simple, you know, you can go over to the restaurant and buy food or not. You can go to the car dealer, buy a car or not. You can go to a Ramsey event and pay to ticket or not. You can go to a concert and pay the ticket or not. You can choose to do this, but you never say, you know, oh, they.

[Ken Coleman]

Took all my money.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, you gave it to them and in return they gave you services that they promised. And so it's a fair trade. And if you don't want to make the trade, it's a free country, you don't have to enter in the trade. But that does not then qualify you to for welfare. Welfare. Welfare is for poor people. They're for people in poverty that don't have the money otherwise to care. And they're going to, you know, otherwise this, you know, 85 year old will be on the street in a cardboard box somewhere because. But our society has chosen to pay for this person who is indigent, who is broke, in poverty. And we pay for them. The government, we taxpayers, pay for that in the welfare program. But we don't pay for it for people from Oklahoma that have a half million dollars in their 401k and think it's inconvenient. That's not what we pay for that for. Nor do we want you to get food stamps, lady, you know, you ought to go to the grocery store and buy your own dadgum food. You've got the money. Food stamps are for people that wouldn't have food otherwise. That's what it's for. So this gaming the system thing is really, it's really interesting around the whole nursing home. It activates a vibe in people's brain that other stuff doesn't activate. It's a service, boys and girls. You pay for it or you don't. It's up to you.

[Ken Coleman]

Foreign.

[Dave Ramsey]

Buying and selling a home is a big deal and you want an expert in your corner fighting for you to get the right deal at the right price. That's why we only recommend Ramsey trusted real estate agents. They're handpicked pros who know their stuff, listen to your needs and have your back from the first call all the way to closing day. To find a Ramsey trusted agent near you, visit ramseysolutions.com agents ramseysolutions.com agent live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey show where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create actual amazing relationships. Ken Coleman, Ramsey personality number one, best selling author and host of the show front row seat, a brand new hit on the Ramsey Networks is my co host today. The phone Number here is 888-825-5225. Joel is in Orange County, California. Hey Joel, what's up?

[Brianna]

Hi.

[Ken Coleman]

Thank you for taking my call.

[Dave Ramsey]

Sure. How can I help?

[Ken Coleman]

I am trying. I fall in the baby steps and I'm cutting a lot of expenses but I am having a really hard time with my wife psychologically. Just she is not in a place where she sees the debt as ours because I brought this debt into the marriage and now we have a kid and it's about $47,000 worth of debt and what do you call it? She's not willing to like even. I hear you all the time saying Rhett lives on rice and beans and beans and rice and don't go into restaurants anymore. And I'm trying to actually implement that but my wife is putting up a barrier of we just have a really busy, busy lifestyle and we don't get home sometimes because we serve at church and stuff until like 9:30 at night. And so she's like we still have to go out to eat. And I'm like it's not, I don't want to.

[Dave Ramsey]

And you're a classic guy. How long you've been married?

[Ken Coleman]

Four years.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Because I used to this crap too. So here's the problem. Guys do this more than women. Sometimes women do it, but mostly Guys, you started talking about what? Instead of talking about why we got to cut expenses because we got to get out of debt, and that's the way we're going to do this. And da, da, da, da. But you had the why in your head. But you never talked about the why. And she has never agreed to the why. If the why is we want to build wealth so we can do anything we want to do for this child that we just had, oh, that lady's on board. But if the why is my husband wants to cut out eating when I'm tired, going out to eat when I'm tired because he started listening to some stupid podcast. That's not a good why. She didn't buy in that. And that's what you found out. So basically, you owe her an apology. You did not her include her in this decision.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay. Makes a lot of sense.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. So, honey, I'm sorry I goofed this whole thing up. We need to do full stop and start again. Here's what I am learning, and I would like for us to look at how our future is going to be. I really believe that we have the ability to become prosperous and that we could travel and that we could do things for this child. We could change our whole family tree. One of the barriers to that is this debt. And so once I saw that if I got out of debt, if we got out of debt, that we would have the money to do other things. And we combine our finances and we combine our lives, and we have a high probability of building wealth when we do those things. And the wealth is for generosity to help others. The wealth is to change our family tree. A godly man leaves an inheritance to his children's children. God loves a cheerful giver. All of these things are biblical. You said you're spending time at church.

[Ken Coleman]

Yes, and that's kind of. Yeah, I'm saying we're spending so much time at church, and then we're not making food at home. Like, cut.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, it's kind of gotten back. It's kind of gotten the tail wagging the dog. But either way, my point is that if you look at this through a spiritual lens, God in his Bible, in his love letter to us, is very clear. Go change your family tree. Take care of your own household first. You're worse than an unbeliever. The borrower is slave to the lender. When we get out of debt and we can start building some wealth to be generous to others and to change our family tree, that's biblical, and that's How I'm looking at this, honey, and I think that we can do that, but I'm seeing the barrier is this. And so the way we clear the debt is we temporarily go deep on the sacrifice to clear the debt so that we have a great long term prognosis. That's what I'm looking at. Tell me what's wrong with that other than you just want to go out to eat.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah. Makes sense.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Go back to the why. Why, why, why, why. See, you got the why real quick. When you were listening to this stuff.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

And you translated it to the tactical and then you just presented her with the tactical.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Not the strategic. So strategy does not. Tactics don't work without strategy. Strategy doesn't work without tactics. You got to have both. Yeah.

[George Camel]

And I would just add one other thing. And this is for all the dudes out there. And I've learned this the hard way. You know, like this or anything that's major in your marriage and you're trying to get on the same page. It's great to ask questions, not make statements. And it's the guy we guys, we try to solve and you make a lot of statements and that's a. It comes across as a very concrete, immovable boom and they can't do anything with it. But if you can learn to ask questions around the bigger topic that you're discussing and it includes the feedback and you're actually listening, they feel seen and heard. This is a human thing that a woman thinks thing. But you got to do it that way. Ask good questions to emit answers that now we start to say the same things. Stop making statements about what we've got to do.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Because I doubt very seriously that your wife is so short sighted that she would sacrifice her child's future to get to go out to eat. That's probably not who she is. But the way you presented this, that's the dichotomy that you gave.

[George Camel]

Well, that's exactly a great point, Dave, because that's actually a trivial response to a trivial statement. We're going to cut out all these meals and she's going, what are you talking about? That doesn't even make any sense because we're coming home at 9 o' clock at night. I don't want to make a sandwich. It got so trivial because of the way it was presented to her.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. It's tactical before strategy.

[George Camel]

That's exactly right. I love how you put that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. It's just you got to have both. You got to have a why and you know Simon Sinek's book Start with why. Start with why. If you've got a big enough why. Sometimes we have people, Joel, they come in to do their debt free shift scream and their little kids, little four year old kid will be wearing a T shirt that says I'm the why. I'm why my parents did this. In other words, they worked an extra job, they sacrificed, they sold their car, he sold his gun collection, he did whatever. I'm the why. Because they wanted stuff for me more than they wanted stuff today. They wanted me to have a good life. So changing my family tree is a huge why. And so you got to. And if you give your name a why and both of you can get around that why, then the what starts to become obvious. Because the what is the short term pain to get the long term gain? It's the live like no one else so that later you can live and give like no one else. And if you want to go back to a biblical paradigm, no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but it yields a harvest of righteousness. Hebrews. Okay, so you know there's 100% of the people that win big at something, pay a price. And becoming financially successful and successful in your marriage in America today is so freaking unusual that it's called winning big. I'm talking about successful. Talking about, yes, you become millionaires. Yes, you stay married for 53 years and like each other while you become millionaires. While you work together towards common goals, souls. And through thick and thin, as they say, for richer, for poorer, unto thee all my worldly goods I pledge the old book of common Prayer, wedding vows said. So all of that starts to come together. Then when you pan back far enough that you get the why. This is the Ramsey Show.

[Jade Barshaw]

Does having more money and less stress sound nice but feel impossible? Well, in my brand new book, Breaking Free from Broke, I share my story of going from broke to millionaire and exactly how I did did it. You'll learn about the money traps and cultural lies out there designed to keep you brainwashed and stressed out. From credit card schemes to mortgage myths to investing traps. So if you're not where you want to be financially, I can help you finally get ahead. You can get breaking Free from broke [e-mail] store. That's ramseysolutions.com store.

[Dave Ramsey]

Graduation doesn't come with a GPS and a lot of students are walking into the real world with no clue on what direction they should go. The get clear assessment, find the work you're wired to do. Student Edition will help your student get clarity and build a real plan that they're confident in. This is a quick assessment. Takes about what, 27 minutes to take it? No.

[George Camel]

Right at about 20 minutes.

[Dave Ramsey]

About 20 minutes. Okay. It'll help you with the major. It'll help you with a trade. It'll help you with your first job, help you figure out what you're wired to do. In other words, it's only $34.99. The assessment will help them identify their strengths, while the book will help them understand the results and help you figure out what's next. A plan. Get a copy of ramseysolutions.com store. If you're watching on YouTube or podcast, just click the link in the description. Again, the Get Clear Assessment. Student Edition. It's a big deal. Brand new product just came out a few months ago, and it's selling like crazy because every student should do this. This Amanda is in Tampa. Hi, Amanda. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

[Brianna]

Hi.

[Dave Ramsey]

Hi. What's up?

[Brianna]

I was wondering, how do I fix financial infidelity when it was the only thing my husband asked me not to do when we first got together. We've been together about 16 years. We have two kids together. I never lied to him about money. And we had taken all of our money and we opened a restaurant together. And very quickly it ended up not working out. And I told him everything was fine when it wasn't. And then we ended up losing our apartment. And that's when I kind of, you know, was forced to come clean about it. I was just very scared for the repercussions of it. And now he thinks it's best that we separate because he doesn't think I'm trustworthy anymore.

[Dave Ramsey]

Hmm. I'm sorry. So the restaurant you said very quickly went sideways, but you lost an apartment. That doesn't happen quickly.

[Brianna]

Yeah, so we opened in October, and then, you know, we had a little bit of money coming in. It looked like it was doing good, but we really. We'd never run a restaurant before. We had no idea what we were doing. So I was able to, like, pay the loan rent at our apartment, and then I stopped paying credit cards so I could pay the rent.

[Ken Coleman]

And was he.

[Dave Ramsey]

Does he not involved in the budgeting at all?

[Brianna]

No, I've always taken care of it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, so he handed it all to you and then doesn't like what you did?

[Brianna]

I. Well, he asked. He asked for the. The bank information, and I didn't give it to him because I. I was scared that, you know, we Failed.

[Dave Ramsey]

You opened a restaurant in October. And so what does he make?

[Brianna]

Well, we both had to start going back to work. We ended up.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, I mean. So he quit work and worked at the restaurant when you opened it?

[Brianna]

Yeah, we had both quit our jobs and was doing this full time.

[Dave Ramsey]

Lord Jesus. Okay.

[Brianna]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

So he literally works there and still is clueless.

[Brianna]

Yeah, I think he saw, like, how much we were making, which we were making money, but he wasn't aware of how much we were actually spending to keep it open as well.

[Dave Ramsey]

And you weren't either because you weren't doing any books. I can tell.

[Brianna]

Yeah, I didn't know. Like, I've never.

[Ken Coleman]

I've never owned a business.

[Brianna]

Like, we flipped houses, but that's different.

[Dave Ramsey]

Not really. Both of them. You have to do a set of books, and you had never seen a set of books.

[Brianna]

Right. You're right.

[Dave Ramsey]

So what were. How were. You were. Just had money coming in, gross receipts for the week, and then you would pay some vendors and pay some rent, and when the money ran out, you just let it ride.

[Brianna]

Yeah, I mean, I.

[Dave Ramsey]

You don't even know if you were making a profit, really.

[Brianna]

Correct. Yeah, no, I definitely didn't. I just. I don't know. I grew up, like, thinking. And I've always thought this, like, as long as I can pay my bills this month, I'm good. And I think he had a different expectation of how the bill should go, that we should be looking, like, months in advance. And I didn't grow up in a household like that or think like that. Yeah. And I don't really remember, like, how I got control of the money.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. I'm not sure I understand where it was. I mean, I guess the time you lied to him was you knew that things were tight and that bills, some bills weren't getting paid, and you just lied to him about that. Is that what you're telling me?

[Brianna]

Corinthians. And now.

[Dave Ramsey]

And that was for two months.

[Brianna]

Yeah. And it ended up, like, being. We couldn't catch back up. So now we're kind of facing bankruptcy, which is when we first got together. His ex wife kind of took everything from him. And he's like, I don't ever want you to do this for me. Just promise you'll never, like, lie to me like this. And I don't consider it the same thing, but I guess it is in his eyes, and I can understand that. You know, I lied to him about money, and now we're in a really bad spot.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, well, I've got a Different opinion about this. Yeah, Obviously I'm not okay with you lying, but he's freaking an irresponsible child and that he was no more involved in the management of the household than he was and stood over the side and then he's throwing grenades back because he doesn't like the way you did it. Listen, dude, step up and actually sit down with your wife and figure out how to run a freaking restaurant before both of you quit your jobs. He's as irresponsible as you are. This ain't no angel sitting over on the side that somehow got taken to the cleaners by some girl buying coach purses. That isn't what happened here. This is a guy showing up at a restaurant every day and is so freaking irresponsible he's not even involved in how the restaurant is being run. What's he doing? Cooking. And that's it. See, the line cook doesn't get to bitch if the place closes because the line cook isn't running in it.

[Brianna]

Yeah, I mean, he did ask me for it like twice or three times. I was like, no, I got it. I would, I would get upset. I'm like, I, I can handle it. Because I was just like very scared to tell him because I didn't want this to happen. I didn't want him to believe me because I didn't know what I was doing.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, well, yeah, you didn't. That's for sure. And you could have fixed the whole thing just by saying the truth and going, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm scared. We can't pay our bills. Help me. And that would have solved the whole thing. So I do agree with that. So your question to me was, how do you rebuild trust? How do you get through this? I don't know if you do, but if you do, it's with a marriage counselor you guys desperately need to sit down with one. And part of the equation is you are doing a beautiful job of owning your screw ups here. But he hadn't owned any of his. And I'm pretty frustrated with him. Him, he's awfully self righteous for an uninvolved irresponsible guy standing around or watching a restaurant fall down around his ears and he's too stupid to realize it's happening. I'm serious. That's just, that's not okay. So he needs to own his part of that too.

[George Camel]

And he also needs to own that a lot of this reaction is because his ex wife burned him. So that's. I'M not giving him a pass. No, but I am saying.

[Dave Ramsey]

Not giving you a pass online either.

[George Camel]

Yeah, sorry. Yeah, but. But he's got to own the fact that this probably feels way worse than it actually is.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, it's bad. They're about to file bankruptcy. They lost everything.

[George Camel]

Oh, I know. But as far as her decision, both.

[Dave Ramsey]

Of you, I'm going to tell you, I mean, y' all both have been just. This whole thing was crazy. The restaurant is the number one category of businesses that fail. Almost all of them fail. That's how bad it is. Okay, you guys did that and you both quit your job, and neither one of you know how to do a set of books or run a business or a restaurant. What were you guys thinking?

[Brianna]

I don't know. We've. We've closed it now, actually, like in the process of moving it. We both had to get jobs again. And then we were working on the weekends here. But once we were like. I was like, we're.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, this was doomed. This was doomed from the start. Yeah, you didn't have a chance because you guys didn't have a skill set to run. Run it.

[Brianna]

Right. No, I agree.

[Dave Ramsey]

And so that. And you don't both quit your jobs. See, he. He was in on that decision. And this set you guys up for failure. So I'm so sorry, honey. Now, the way you rebuild trust is that you guys get in a good marriage counselor together. You work through, you both own your parts. You put in place systems and processes going forward where he's involved in everything in the money, you're involved in every. We make all the decisions together in the money. And there's no surprises and no way that he has to trust you because all he has to do is trust himself because you're both involved top to bottom. That's how Sharon became trusting of me after I lost everything doing stupid stuff. I didn't lie to her about it, but she had to trust my competence again, not my integrity. And it took a while. Foreign.

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[Dave Ramsey]

Buying or Selling a home is a big deal, especially in a weird market like we're in right now. The clickbait headlines, all the crap on Tick Tock, all the stuff out there telling you what you're supposed to do and none of it's real. Hey, we're going to take the latest trends and make them easy to understand with actual facts. Facts are your fact, friends. Facts are good. Drama not good when making a financial decision like a home. Come on. Hey, hey. We're here to make them easy to understand. The median home prices stayed steady last month at 441,000. That's the median home price in America right now. Average 15 year fixed also stayed steady, just under 6% 5.95 last month. There's currently 1,082,520 homes on the market market in the United States. That's a fact. That's the highest number since 2019, the best inventory we've had yet. Prices are not going down because demand has stayed steady. So this demand is higher than supply, which if you know anything about basic seventh grade economics, that means the prices are going to go up, not down. And these median home prices have gone up a little bit, not a lot, but a little bit month over month, every month for the last four months. To learn more about the housing market trend and get some free tools, go to ramseysolutions.com market click the link in the Show Notes if you're listening on a podcast or on YouTube. Casey's in Syracuse. Hi, Casey. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

[Brianna]

Hi, thank you for taking my call.

[Dave Ramsey]

Sure. What's up?

[Brianna]

So I currently live, I currently own my own home and I live in an area that's, I would say, just progressively getting worse. So I'm looking to move and I'm just not sure the best way to go about my financial situation. I'm pretty much living paycheck to paycheck. Me and my significant other, we make good money, but we're not very good at saving money. And so I was thinking about taking as much money out of my 401 as I could to put as a down payment on a new home. But I still own the home that I live in. So I wasn't sure if I would be better off trying to take out either using the money in my 401k to fix up my current home to then sell the home and use the money that I have from that sold home.

[Dave Ramsey]

What is your current home worth today? As it is.

[Brianna]

I would say probably in the neighborhood of like 100,000 to 120,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

What's wrong with it?

[Brianna]

It's just old. It's. It's. It was built in the 1930s. Nothing's particular. The roof is leaking in a spot, so I would have to fix the roof. The porch is pulling away from the house a little bit, so I would just redo the whole porch.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Brianna]

And the upper half of the house is sided like a cedar shake, which is just really worn and corroding. So I would probably.

[Dave Ramsey]

What do you owe on the house?

[Brianna]

$45,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Just sell it as is.

[Brianna]

Sell it as is. Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

$100,000 house with a porch repair. A little bit of. That's old. A little bit of stain on the side of the cedar shake, and a small roof leak is not a big deal.

[Brianna]

Yeah, I. So I reached out to a couple contractors, and they're coming in with, like.

[Dave Ramsey]

You don't need a contractor. You don't have any money.

[Brianna]

Money, yeah. It would be a loan I'd have to take out.

[Dave Ramsey]

If you go do that, you're not gonna get your money back because the house value is not going to increase. But the things you're talking about doing.

[Brianna]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

So whatever money you put into it, you're throwing down the toilet.

[Brianna]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

Sell it as is.

[Brianna]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

Get a good real estate agent. Go to Ramsey Solutions dot com. Get one of the Ramsey trusted real estate agents come over and talk to you, and let's figure out what the thing will bring. Ring, put it on the market as is.

[Brianna]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

As is. Where he is. It's gonna. I'm not doing repairs. That's the pricing. And if that means you price it at 95 instead of 105, whoop deep, Dee, sell it. You're not keeping this thing anyway. It's a piece of crap. You're moving.

[Brianna]

Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. And when you move, you're gonna put 40,000 bucks or so in your pocket, right?

[Brianna]

Yeah, I do have some other debt, so I.

[Dave Ramsey]

How much other debt do you have?

[Brianna]

I have about $3,500 in a car loan and about $9,000 in a personal loan.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. And clear that. And so then you're going to put more like, you know, $25,000 in your pocket. What do you make?

[Brianna]

I make 95,000 a year.

[Dave Ramsey]

Way too much to be this broke.

[Brianna]

I know I have my significant other. When we live in the same household, he makes 110,000 a year. So, yeah, we make plenty of money. And it is unfortunate.

[Ken Coleman]

We're as Broke as we are.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brianna]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

So yeah, sell, sell the house and go rent something and pay off your debts and start fresh and let's get control of your money. And if you guys are going to act like you're married, try being married.

[Brianna]

Okay?

[Dave Ramsey]

If you're not going to be married, then don't be, you know, trying to figure out how we're going to not be married and be prosperous. Because all the data points that we have, all the research is showing that doesn't work. The people who build wealth are married people.

[Brianna]

Yeah. That's kind of another thing on my list I'd like to get done is get married. But you know, financially you don't need any.

[Dave Ramsey]

Financially, you go down and get married.

[George Camel]

Right. Courthouse is open every day.

[Dave Ramsey]

Except call a preacher, sit down, his office. Office.

[Brianna]

Okay.

[George Camel]

And by the way, and I want to close the loop on the very first option you threw at us. You never use your 401k like a bank. You're going to get taxed big time on that. It's never an option. Don't do that to yourself. You don't need it, first of all. But secondly, it's a bad financial decision.

[Dave Ramsey]

This house sucks. Get rid of the house. Get yourself, your organization sucks. Get rid of that. Let's get organized. Get on every dollar budget, get started and then make a decision if we're going to be married or if we're going to play like that. Like it. Because if you're going to play like it, the data says you're not going to win financially or relationally. Okay, that's, there's, I mean this, these are actual statistics. Okay, kid, I'm not just making this stuff up. That's what's happening out there. I'll give you an example. When we studied 10,167 millionaires, 82% of them said my spouse and I were on board with our long term goals. Working together to hit the them, not trying to figure out who was going to buy the mustard. Is the mustard your job this week or do I buy mustard? Who pays the light bill? You know, with your roommate? That stuff doesn't work financially. Your careers don't accelerate. Your health does not accelerate. All of these things go with all this research is called the marriage advantage research. You can look it up. It's not just Google marriage advantage. It'll start showing up. Men who are married folks different for different subject from her. Men who are married live on average seven to nine years longer than unmarried men, which would include men shacking up Interesting. Women live an average of four to five years longer when they're married. I don't know why men get much more advantage. As Jelani says, he thinks women keep him from doing stupid stuff.

[George Camel]

It's 100% what I was going to say. They keep us from just, you know, doing guy stuff.

[Dave Ramsey]

I don't know. Hang gliding? No. You know, whatever it is. I don't know. Whatever it is, Whatever it is. But yeah, that's. They live, you live longer. And there's a lot of possible hypothetical physiological and spiritual reasons that you could lay out for that. But money also works. The net worth of married couples at 40 years old versus shacked up couples is like six times higher. And it's just because, you know, we're not trying to, you know, you gotta decide, am I gonna paint or am I gonna get off the ladder? You know, you got one foot in the boat, one on the dock. Boat's always leaving, and we're just not sure when, when are we gonna get wet? When's our butt gonna be in the lake? You know, and you're just always looking over your shoulder. Always looking over your shoulder. That can happen in marriage too. But there's a. There's a process, legally and financially, by which you get to keep half the stuff called divorce. And so the protections are there. But you folks. I'm going to pay to renovate my boyfriend's house. Oh, you're about to lose your money. I'm going to co sign so she can get a car because her parents want. You're an idiot. No, you buy only, the only, the only ladies you buy cars for are your white. That's it. The only guys you. The only guys you renovate their house is called a husband. Geez, you're gonna lose all your money doing this stuff. People, it's just, it's, it's crazy. And people just act like this stuff doesn't matter. But you just. All you gotta do is just traject, do the trajectory on it out there fast. Telescope it out there about, I don't know, 15, 20, 25 years, and you see the disastrous results. So, so end of soapbox, our scripture of the day. So Psalm 37, 23, 24. The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him. Though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand. Theodore Roosevelt said, the only man who never makes mistakes is the man who never does anything. Yeah. That's the truth. Yeah. And dogs don't chase parked cars. So you're never gonna get criticized. If you don't do anything, you can be rested assured. And as soon as you do anything, you can be rest assured some moron won't like it. All right, here we go. Rob is in Lexington, Kentucky. Hey, Rob, how can we help?

[Ken Coleman]

Hey, Mr. Ramsey. Thank you for having me today.

[Dave Ramsey]

Sure. How can we help?

[Ken Coleman]

Well, long story short, it's been probably about eight years since I've lived by myself. Ever since then, I've kind of took a little bit of a tailspin into depth a little bit. Living paycheck to paycheck check. Just looking for some good advice. You're the right one and the perfect person.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you mean you've been single for eight years?

[Ken Coleman]

Well disclosed family situation. I was living with mom, my child's mother. So we're just living separately on good terms. Just living separately though.

[Dave Ramsey]

You weren't on good terms with what we're living.

[Ken Coleman]

We're living separately on good terms.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, okay. For eight years.

[Ken Coleman]

Oh, I was, I was living by myself. And then I'm after eight years, now I'm living by myself. I'm sorry, I should explain that a little bit.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, so you were with her eight years and the baby, and now you guys are broken up and you're by yourself?

[Ken Coleman]

Well, we're sorry. We're with each other, but I'm living by myself.

[Dave Ramsey]

How are you with each other by yourself? I do not understand.

[Ken Coleman]

That's just, that's a whole nother situation on that one.

[Dave Ramsey]

I mean, it's not logical. You're not making sense, dude. That's what I'm saying. You can either be by yourself or you can be with someone. Which are you?

[Ken Coleman]

Yes, sir, that's a good point. I guess we're just together and living separately.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you're, you're, you're dating or you're have a relationship, but you don't live in the same house?

[Ken Coleman]

Yes, sir.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, okay. That makes sense. I got it. Okay. Took me a minute. I'm sorry, I just didn't understand what you're saying. So now you, so you got your own place and you got a kid over on the other side of town with your girlfriend. Okay, and, and you're trying. What do you make? Sir.

[Ken Coleman]

I have one full time job and one part time job and together style, 53,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, how old are you?

[Ken Coleman]

39.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, cool. You said that earlier, I apologize.

[George Camel]

Okay, what is the full time job that, that you're spending time on?

[Ken Coleman]

That one's about 44,000 a year. That's the main job, the main focus.

[George Camel]

What is it?

[Dave Ramsey]

What do you do? What do you do for a living?

[Ken Coleman]

Forklift driving special.

[George Camel]

And what's the part time job?

[Ken Coleman]

I work in retail. And that's. They're not really offering much money. That's my downfall right there.

[George Camel]

Yeah. So retail, you're just standing on a floor, shops, trying to sell something.

[Ken Coleman]

Yes, sir.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[George Camel]

Well, I just, I want to bring this up really quick. You know, you have a skill in driving that forklift, and my guess is there's better opportunity operating heavy machinery like that, much better pay per hour than doing a retail job. So I admire the fact that you're trying to make extra money money, but you don't have as many hours and you need to get as much work as you possibly can to start to bring in more income. And we're going to help you use that income to dig out of this mess.

[Ken Coleman]

There's a probably bigger mess in that too. There's loads of cards too.

[George Camel]

Oh, I figured, I figured there was a lot of debt. Break that down.

[Ken Coleman]

Yeah, I have those all added up and it's not crazy yet, but it's getting crazy crazy.

[George Camel]

What's the amount?

[Ken Coleman]

The loans is about 5,500 and the cards is about 40.

[Dave Ramsey]

200.

[Ken Coleman]

Yes, sir.

[Dave Ramsey]

So 9,000 bucks, 10,000 bucks get you out of debt?

[Ken Coleman]

Yes, sir.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, that's good. Yep. That's good news. All right. And so if you were to take a lot of overtime at your forklift job or work for Cliff for someone else on the hours you were spending at retail, what Ken is saying is you'd make twice as much as you're making at retail. Does that make sense? Yes, because that is a skill. And whether it's forklift, skid, steer, whatever it is, I mean, you can push the buttons and move that machinery around. And so I think that qualifies you right now. And you're willing to work. Those two things qualify you for a lot of positions. In an area that there's a shortage of help, which is the trades in general. Okay. There's a serious shortage of people who are willing to work and actually know how to do the work. That's pretty impressive. So that puts you in a better position. Then you start making a little bit more money. And now we're going to, with your newfound independence, you know, separate all of your finances. Very clearly. The only thing you owe is you need to, to take. Make sure the baby's got food. Your job is to do the equivalent of child support over there. But above that you're not paying for her stuff. You don't live there. The girlfriend stuff. Okay.

[Ken Coleman]

Okay, Almost crazy. Let's get two full time jobs.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, you're not. But yeah, just work all the time and not. But you're not paying for the girlfriend stuff. You're going to take care of the child, but we're not buying her car. We're not paying her rent. Oh, her air conditioner. I'm sorry, that's her problem. Okay. But your job is to make sure the child is cared for as the dad. And then you knock out this $10,000 worth of debt and then you. But you're just going to get really, really organized and really systematized. Where I think I hear. Now you tell me if I'm wrong, but I think I hear you saying in between these sentences that for the last eight or nine years you've kind of been coasting.

[Ken Coleman]

Yes, sir. That's a great, great word definition for that one. Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so all we're saying is, is you're ready to put it in gear and we're encouraging you to do that. So drop it down into gear and punch it, baby. Let's get detailed on the, on the stuff. We'll put you into every dollar, we'll pay for it and show you how to run the app and jump into one of those free webinars we're doing on how to run the app and how to run your budget. And it'll walk you through step by step by step what to do. And you take every dollar that's coming in, you make every dollar behave. And we need 10 grand. And we're going to clear up the debt. Meanwhile, we're taking care of a baby. Meanwhile, we're going to start building our life. And so coasting is over. We're going out of neutral, down into drive and kick it, kick it. Squeal the tires, baby. Let's go.

[George Camel]

I'm going to make a suggestion that may seem out of left field, Rob, but I think you are very lonely. And I'm not just talking about this relationship, which is kind of in limbo, but I think you need to spend what little bit of time you have not with that child. You need to get around some guys and maybe need some new friends. Guys that are driven. They've got a vision for their Life. They see 10, 20 years down the road.

[Dave Ramsey]

A lot of really good churches in Lexington, Kentucky you could plug into.

[George Camel]

Yeah. Get around some dudes that have a vision for their life. I think you would do well and that's not an insult to you. That's an encouragement to say, I sense that you're really, really lonely and the status of this relationship is just kind of slowly beats you down. So I think that'd be a good move.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Get plugged in with some. You become who you hang around with. So, Ken, you're exactly right. The data is out there on that. And so be very selective and pick some men out that are who you want to become because that's what's going to happen. That's what's going to happen. And you can do. A good place to find those kinds of guys is around a church and sit down with the pastor of that church and go, listen, I'm beginning to turn my life around. Here's what's going on. Can you help line me up with some guys that can mentor me, disciple me and help me walk in some of these ways? Ken, I think that's a great observation. I think you nailed that. So, yeah, that's again, very, very important. If you're going to lay out four or five things that cause people to be successful, who they run around with is one of the four or five things.

[George Camel]

And many times those people, they can pull you out of this gravitational hold that he's just kind of roving around this, this, this girlfriend and he's already.

[Dave Ramsey]

He already busted loose from the orbit. I know, but he's out there now. So that's a big move.

[George Camel]

It's a huge.

[Dave Ramsey]

But, yeah, let's take that trajectory to the moon now. Yeah, yeah.

[George Camel]

Get the orbit of some people that are really doing something with their life. Real intentional.

[Dave Ramsey]

Very good. Very good suggestion. I put, hello, it's this hour the Ramsey show in the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of peace, Christ Jesus.

[Ken Coleman]

Olivia loves a challenge.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's why she lifts heavy weights and likes complicated recipes. But for booking her trip to Paris, Olivia chose the easy way. With Expedia, she bundled her flight with.

[Ken Coleman]

A hotel to save more.

[Dave Ramsey]

Of course, she still climbed all 674.

[Ken Coleman]

Steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower.

[Dave Ramsey]

You were made to take the easy route. We were made to easily package your trip.

[Ken Coleman]

Expedia made to travel flight inclusive packages are atoll protected.