Stop Letting Money Conflicts Tear Your Relationships Apart

Summary

Summary of "Stop Letting Money Conflicts Tear Your Relationships Apart" – The Ramsey Show

Release Date: December 24, 2024
Host: Ramsey Network (Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruz)

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Introduction

In this emotionally charged episode of The Ramsey Show, host Dave Ramsey and co-host Rachel Cruz delve deep into the intricate ways financial disagreements can strain and even fracture personal relationships. Through a series of real-life caller scenarios, they offer actionable advice on navigating money-related conflicts while preserving and strengthening familial and marital bonds.

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1. Navigating Family Dynamics Over Whole Life Insurance

Caller: Victor from Irvine, California
Timestamp: [00:28] - [08:00]

Victor and his wife are contemplating whether to continue a whole life insurance policy purchased from Victor’s father-in-law. Despite having maximized their 401(k) and Roth IRA contributions and recently purchasing a home, they are uncertain if this policy is the best investment move.

Key Points:

• Whole Life Insurance Critique: Dave Ramsey vehemently opposes whole life policies, labeling them as "one of the biggest possible rip-offs" in the financial sector.

• Maintaining Relationships: Emphasizes the importance of not letting financial disagreements damage familial relationships. Advises couples to "be kind and honoring" and "avoid arguments" with relatives over money matters.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey ([02:17]): "I have to give you full disclosure here. I have been trashing whole life policies and people who sell them for 30 years as being one of the biggest possible rip offs in the financial world."

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2. Resolving Property Division and Sibling Tensions

Caller: Linda from Pittsburgh
Timestamp: [09:54] - [15:30]

Linda seeks advice regarding her late mother’s will, which left the family home to her husband and his brother. The brother has been living rent-free in the house, causing tension and financial imbalance.

Key Points:

• Legal Guidance: Dave advises seeking legal counsel to understand property rights and suggests possible solutions like selling the house or buying out the brother’s share.

• Communication Strategies: Stresses the importance of direct communication, recommending that Linda’s husband confront his brother respectfully but firmly to resolve the living arrangement.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey ([15:07]): "I just want you to be kind to your father."

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3. Choosing the Right Business Model to Align with Passion

Caller: Ashley from Charlotte, North Carolina
Timestamp: [20:40] - [27:08]

Ashley and her husband are exploring the idea of starting a new business, debating between launching a food truck or a brick-and-mortar café. They are debt-free, own their home, and have an emergency fund but are unsure which path aligns best with their aspirations.

Key Points:

• Aligning with Dreams: Dave emphasizes choosing a business model based on passion rather than financial convenience, highlighting the importance of long-term satisfaction over short-term savings.

• Business Growth Strategies: Suggests starting with smaller ventures like catering to build a customer base before committing to a larger investment like a restaurant.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey ([22:10]): "I would not decide my business model based on either one of those things or based on a CPA's advice. You need to decide your business model on what you want."

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4. Bridging Financial Philosophies in Marriage

Caller: Carter from New Hampshire
Timestamp: [30:54] - [35:06]

Carter and his wife are facing marital strain due to differing financial philosophies. Carter is meticulous and cautious with money, while his wife is more of a spender. This disparity is causing frequent arguments and financial stress.

Key Points:

• Unified Financial Goals: Dave advocates for couples to function as a unified team with shared financial objectives, avoiding separate accounts that can mask underlying issues.

• Marriage Counseling: Recommends seeking professional counseling to address deeper marital conflicts stemming from financial disagreements.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey ([32:33]): "This desperately screams of a need for marriage counseling to me for sure."

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5. The Pitfalls of Rewarding Debt for Short-Term Gains

Caller: Bo from Las Vegas
Timestamp: [35:06] - [38:08]

Bo inquires about continuing to use his credit card to receive cash back from medical reimbursements, despite knowing it might lead to further debt accumulation.

Key Points:

• Avoiding Credit Card Use: Dave discourages the use of credit cards, even for small rewards like $300 cash back, emphasizing that "300 bucks has never created a millionaire."

• Financial Discipline: Encourages sticking to cash payments to avoid unnecessary debt, reinforcing long-term financial health over minor short-term benefits.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey ([36:42]): "You're gonna sell your financial soul for 300 bucks?"

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6. Balancing Career and Family Financial Goals

Caller: Nicole from Salt Lake City
Timestamp: [40:49] - [47:07]

Nicole is contemplating taking an extended maternity leave, potentially pausing her career to focus on family. This decision could impact their ability to contribute to their debt snowball, particularly with outstanding student loans.

Key Points:

• Flexible Financial Planning: Dave advises finding a middle ground that accommodates both family needs and financial objectives, suggesting hybrid approaches rather than all-or-nothing decisions.

• Reallocation of Resources: Encourages reassessing and redistributing cash flow to manage both immediate family needs and long-term debt reduction goals.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey ([42:46]): "You're putting more pressure on yourself than needs to be there."

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7. Overcoming Financial Hardship as a Widow

Caller: Dorothy from Fort Myers, Florida
Timestamp: [50:41] - [78:35]

Dorothy recently lost her husband to suicide and is grappling with significant debt, including credit cards and vehicle loans. She seeks guidance on managing her finances amidst personal tragedy.

Key Points:

• Comprehensive Budgeting: Dave guides Dorothy through creating a detailed budget, prioritizing debt repayment, and preparing for the eventual end of her pension benefits.

• Emotional Resilience: Emphasizes the importance of aligning financial planning with personal healing, ensuring that financial stability supports emotional well-being.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey ([76:59]): "The story takes a twist, a rather tragic turn, and the heroine steps forward with her shield and her sword."

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8. Inspiring Debt-Free Success Story

Guest: Linda from Boston, Massachusetts
Timestamp: [62:43] - [70:24]

Linda shares her journey of paying off $105,000 in debt over three years and eight months. Her dedication, multiple income streams, and unwavering mindset transformed her financial landscape.

Key Points:

• Mindset Shift: Linda credits her success to a fundamental change in mindset, embracing the possibility of a debt-free life despite long-term struggles.

• Perseverance and Support: Highlights the role of perseverance and a supportive network, including family and co-workers, in achieving financial freedom.

Notable Quote:

Linda ([66:03]): "I think it requires a mindset shift... and perseverance, being willing to persevere through and trusting God in the process."

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9. Managing Financial Anxiety and Future Planning

Caller: Kelsey
Timestamp: [81:04] - [82:59]

Kelsey discusses her crippling anxiety and the challenges it poses to her daily life. While the primary focus is on mental health, Dave Ramsey ties financial stability as a component of overall well-being.

Key Points:

• Integrated Approach: Dave connects the dots between managing anxiety and maintaining financial order, suggesting that organized finances can alleviate some stressors.

• Future Planning: Encourages detailed financial planning to provide peace of mind, especially when facing health uncertainties.

Notable Quote:

Dave Ramsey ([82:21]): "You gotta choose to let this guy go."

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Conclusion

Throughout this poignant episode, Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruz reinforce the critical interplay between financial management and personal relationships. By addressing various callers' unique financial dilemmas, they underscore the importance of open communication, shared financial goals, and resilient mindsets in safeguarding relationships from the turmoil of financial conflicts. Whether it's navigating family disputes over inheritance, balancing career and family, or overcoming personal tragedies, the Ramsey team provides compassionate and practical guidance to ensure that money becomes a tool for building stronger, more harmonious relationships rather than a source of contention.

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For more insights and personalized financial advice, visit www.ramseysolutions.com.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey show. Where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Open phones this hour at 888-825-5225. Multiple number one best selling author and Ramsey personality, Rachel Cruz, my daughter is my co host today. Open phones here. You jump in, we'll talk about your life and your money. Victor is with us in Irvine, California. Hi, Victor, how are you doing?

[Rachel Cruz]

Well, Dave, how are you?

[Dave Ramsey]

Better than I deserve. What's up?

[Rachel Cruz]

Hi. So three years ago, me and my wife was buying a life insurance policy from our father in law. We both make a pretty good income, but essentially we're like three years in now. And I just, I know we've maxed out our 401k, our Roth IRA, but I was talking to my father in law and he essentially said it's like a good tax free investment that we can do with our custom whole life policy. And since we're already maxed out our 401k and Roth IRA and we even bought a house recently, we're just not sure if that's like the best way moving forward to put our money in, at least with our extra money. So that's our situation.

[Dave Ramsey]

Victor, you've been married three years, you said?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, we've been married for about three years, yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. All right. So you're in your mid-20s, I assume?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, me and my wife are both 27, so we got married around 24.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, well, I have to give you full disclosure here. I have been trashing whole life policies and people who sell them for 30 years as being one of the biggest possible rip offs in the financial world. So if you say Dave Ramsey to your father in law, his face is gonna melt off.

[Rachel Cruz]

I know. I was afraid of bringing that up to him.

[Dave Ramsey]

I would not suggest you do that. Uncle Dave would suggest you don't do that to yourself with your father in law. I don't think there's anything to be gained by that. So, you know, so basically he, you know, you have a guy in your life that loves you and that believes in these products. You have a guy on the radio that loves you and says these products are crap. And so now you've got to decide as a grown man with your grown wife what you guys are going to do and then how to navigate that decision. I would never recommend that you stay, that you buy something or do something, because when you're a grown person, because your parents said you had to to keep them Happy. I would not do that. Okay. But I would also not recommend that you damage your relationship with your wife's father. I would want you to be kind and honoring and really avoid an argument if I were you. Okay. I have family members, for instance, that I've been married for 41 years. Victor. I have family members that vote the wrong way.

[Victor]

Oh, my gosh.

[Dave Ramsey]

They don't know how to vote. They picked the wrong party and they're just dumb about it. And I love them anyway. I love them anyway.

[Victor]

We have family members that have credit.

[Dave Ramsey]

Cards and that I don't. I don't create at Thanksgiving a political argument with people who aren't going to change their minds that I love.

[Victor]

Or a financial argument that I love.

[Dave Ramsey]

Or a financial argument. I don't. Well, I don't give financial advice for. To people who don't ask for it. And that includes everyone, family included, people who ask. I will tell you.

[Victor]

So for Victor, talk about the different. Why you don't like whole life insurance as an investment.

[Dave Ramsey]

I just. Well, he knows. He already knows why I don't like it. Don't you?

[Rachel Cruz]

I know that you mentioned that, like, the return over like 30 years is minimal.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, it is. And when you die, when you die, the money that you have in there is gone. They only pay the face amount. And there is no such thing as a whole life policy that is tax free. If it actually got a rate of return, it is tax free because you are. The only way you can get your money out is to borrow your own money. And honey, if you go over at the bank and borrow money, they don't charge you taxes on that either. So of course it's tax free, but it is not a tax. And it is not a tax good tax dodge. It is not a good investment. It is not a good product. But now you can research, you know, a bazillion things that we have said about that, and then you've still got this deep, horrible relational problem. And I would recommend that you just be kind. If you decide to not use this product, which of course is my recommendation, I would recommend you don't get into an argument with your father in law about it. I would just say, you know, we've looked at it and for us, we've decided to go another direction. And we sure hope, adult to adult, that you'll just respect our decision, even though you think I'm wrong and I want you to respect my decision. And so, you know, I have a friend who's so stupid that the other day he leased a car. And he's even dumber than that. He drove the car to my house to show it to me. Okay. But I didn't talk to him about car leases. I just went, hey, my friend has a nice car. I'm going to be happy for him. And he's happy about his car. And he didn't ask my opinion. And so I'm not going to just go adult to adult. I'm going to celebrate his adult decision. Even though he did a nice thing in a dumb way, you know? Right. I mean, I can still.

[Victor]

I can still be friends with a guy 100%.

[Dave Ramsey]

So I. I want you. I want you to be kind to your father.

[Victor]

Yeah. Even. Yeah. I think the biggest thing it's going to be.

[Dave Ramsey]

It could be.

[Victor]

I don't mean know your father in law, but if this is what he does for a living, it's a shot to the ego. I mean, like.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Right.

[Victor]

I mean. I mean, if he believes in it so much, like if what we teach you. Believe so much that if we can't, you know, I mean, it's a hard. It would be a hard thing to say. They're going to go a different direction from what I. Not just believe, but the work I do. So just be prepared for that. And you and your wife need to have a lot of conversations, Victor.

[Dave Ramsey]

She's really got to be in this.

[Victor]

Yeah. And just really dive in. And you guys have to say, okay, what's best for us and find the facts. Because the facts is what's going to prove it to you, Victor. And you both have to be on that same page and say, okay, this is what we're doing. And I totally agree with you. Keep it minimal. I mean, like, just say, hey, I think we're going to pass.

[Dave Ramsey]

Your wife has to be able to just look at her dad and.

[Victor]

Which will be hard.

[Dave Ramsey]

A smile and say, I love you. And we're going a different direction.

[Victor]

Yeah. You know, Dave, so I love you.

[Dave Ramsey]

And we're going a different.

[Victor]

But I'm going a different direction.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right. That's the thing. You're announcing something on the air.

[Victor]

No, but it's. Yeah. That this is where the. Yeah. The relational factor of it is just. It can be messy.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. But.

[Victor]

But it's also a great practice, Victor, for you and your wife.

[Dave Ramsey]

You've got to learn to do this anyway.

[Victor]

That's right.

[Dave Ramsey]

Over other things.

[Victor]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Because you know, they're. They're. Otherwise, you know, they're going to interfere. When you get ready to name Your first child. They're going to interfere when you get ready to buy your first house.

[Victor]

They all do it out of love and.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, they do it out of love. They do it.

[Victor]

I love.

[Dave Ramsey]

Don't pet me. I don't interfere in your. I don't interfere in your kid's name.

[Victor]

No, you don't.

[Dave Ramsey]

That would be Mimi that does that.

[Victor]

We don't tell our kids names until.

[Dave Ramsey]

They were born because you'll get a Mimi eye roll.

[Victor]

We hand the BB to the grandparent.

[Dave Ramsey]

And we say, just don't name them. Moonbeam.

[Victor]

This is a.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's all I request. No hippie names. That's all I request. This is the Ramsey Show. I've been doing this show for over 30 years, and some of the saddest calls I have taken are from situations that are completely preventable. Yeah.

[Victor]

And what's so hard is I feel like one of those, especially the ones that I'm like, oh, it's terrible air. People that call in and their spouse has passed away suddenly and they don't have life insurance. When you have to think through, how am I going to pay my bills?

[Dave Ramsey]

How about next week?

[Victor]

Yeah. In the middle of all that grief, like, it's just. It is. It's terrible. And so life insurance is the one thing, especially as a mom with three little kids that I'm like, so big on for people to get because it's inexpensive. Xander is the place that Winston and I actually get all of our life insurance.

[Dave Ramsey]

And it doesn't cost much because Zander shops among a gazillion different companies. It doesn't cost much. You just have to admit that someday you're not going to be here. You got to say it out loud. And you got to say, I'm going to say I love you to my family by taking care of them and taking the time to put this stuff in place. The cost of stinking pizza. To get a free quote, call 800-356-4282. That's 800-356-4282 or go to zander.com Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality, is my co host. Today, Linda's in Pittsburgh. Hi, Linda. Welcome. Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

[Rachel Cruz]

Hi. How are you?

[Dave Ramsey]

Better than I deserve. What's up?

[Rachel Cruz]

Hey. We, my husband and I, are wondering how he can acquire his portion of the will that his mother wrote. So she passed away in 2006 and wrote a will giving the family home to her children. His brother has lived in the chill in the house all of his life and still lives there.

[Dave Ramsey]

Was the will. Was the will probated?

[Rachel Cruz]

The will was probated by their stepdad in 2007.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruz]

She passed away in 2006.

[Dave Ramsey]

And. Okay, and so the stepdad. Wait a minute. The stepdad had nothing to do with the house and the will, right?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes. It was just one of those. Where it was. He had the right to occupy during his lifetime.

[Dave Ramsey]

The brother or the stepdad?

[Rachel Cruz]

Stepdad.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. So he had a life estate. And the will. And the will left the property to your husband, his brother, and whatever other siblings.

[Rachel Cruz]

And a sister who.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Was the property retitled at that time? Did Pennsylvania probate require you all to retitle it and put everybody's name on it?

[Rachel Cruz]

The house is in Colorado.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh.

[Rachel Cruz]

And it. At the time of probate, it was retitled to all three siblings.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. So you each own a third undivided interest. It's called. Okay. Right. Okay. Is sister still alive?

[Rachel Cruz]

No, she. She lost her battle with depression in 2017.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm sorry. Sorry.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

And did she have heirs?

[Rachel Cruz]

No, she did not.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. So I would suppose that your husband and his brother are now equal owners. Then you would have to seek an attorney's advice to be 100% sure. But let's play this through. That's what it sounds like. It sounds like they're now equal owners. Okay. And he doesn't have to do anything to acquire it. It already has his name on it. The death of his sister left half of hers to him and half of it to his brother. And so now the two of them are 50. 50.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's all. His name's on the title. If the property were sold, he would get 50%.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. So now what are y'all wanting to do?

[Rachel Cruz]

So he had. After probably it was two, almost two years after the stepfather passed away, he approached his brother about either buying him out or selling the home. He said, absolutely not. I have no interest in selling the home, and I'm not going to buy you out.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Who lives in it?

[Rachel Cruz]

His brother.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruz]

He has lived in it all his life.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so he's living there for free?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruz]

He has a. He has a roommate there that pays him rent.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruz]

And there's.

[Dave Ramsey]

Here's the thing. If you want to. If you want to stir it up and cause this to come to an end, because this is not. This is not a fair situation. This is unjust. Agreed.

[Rachel Cruz]

Agreed.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Then your husband. How does he have any relationship left with his brother at all?

[Rachel Cruz]

Well, they love each other.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's just that I didn't ask that. I asked if they had a relationship in the middle. What?

[Rachel Cruz]

I said they love each other. There's this mountain in the middle.

[Dave Ramsey]

The house. Yeah. Well, it depends on how much your husband wants to invest in this. But if we want to try to save the relationship, you get on an airplane and he flies out there and he sits down with his brother and he says, okay, you living here for free is done. I'm a 50% owner in this, and you can't live here for free anymore. You have to move out. I'm demanding that. Or we have to sell the house or you have to buy me out. Now, you decide which one you want to do. You want to move out and we rent it and we split the rents that we collect, or do you want to buy me out or whatever? I'll give you a deal if you want to buy me out. But you sitting here and me getting nothing and you living here for free ends. I'm done. I love you. I hate what you're doing to me. It's nasty and it's wrong and it's unjust. And he says that to him in person, to his face, okay? And then if the brother goes, well, I'm not gonna do that. You say, yes, you are, because if you do not, I'm going to hire an attorney and I'm going to sue in circuit court to have this partnership disbanded. And the court is going to force the sale of the house to give me my half, and it's going to cost me five or ten thousand dollars. And you're probably never going to speak to me again. But I'm at the point that I'm tired of you screwing me over. This is how you have to handle it if you're going to handle it. Otherwise, you just got to accept it and go on. And then you have to hire an attorney, and the judge will demand that you sell the house to liquidate the estate. And they'll sell the house and the brother will get half the money and you'll get half.

[Rachel Cruz]

Correct?

[Dave Ramsey]

Do what I said.

[Rachel Cruz]

Liquidating the estate is selling the house.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, you sell the house. Sell the house and you get your half now. Or we can have the house appraised, and at 80%, 80 cents on the dollar of the appraisal. I'll take my half. I'll give you a 20% discount if you want to buy me out.

[Victor]

How much is the house worth, Linda?

[Rachel Cruz]

From what we can tell, it's probably right around $400,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. This is just wrong. And Your brother in law is a leech. He's a parasite. And you're tired of it. That's why you called. Is your husband as tired of it as you are or is he just going to let this go on?

[Rachel Cruz]

Oh, no, he's as tired of it as I am.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay?

[Rachel Cruz]

He's just a super nice guy, okay?

[Dave Ramsey]

If you want to. If he wants to try to be super kind to his brother, he can fly out there and try to do this very calmly and just say, this is over. Okay? You're gonna buy me out or the judge is gonna force the sale of the house. Because when I leave this conversation, if we're not in agreement, I'm gonna contact an attorney and we're going to court and the house is going to be sold. Because you living here for free is not right. And it's not fair. You've been taking advantage of me and I can't let you do that anymore. Even though I love you. That's wrong. And if you want to buy me out, I'll give you a discount on the appraisal. But I own 50%. You own 50% and you can't live here free anymore. That's over. Fly. Take a plane ticket. Invest a plane ticket into the relationship. Try to do it nice and see if you can get him to move off. He may just think that my brother's a nice guy. He's never going to do anything. And he might be right. Talking about your husband, Right?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes, I know, I know.

[Dave Ramsey]

He sees your husband as a target and he's using it. He sees. He thinks your husband's not going to do anything.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

And so if your husband doesn't want to do anything, it's okay. I don't care if you want to just let this go on. I'm not mad about it. It doesn't matter. But if you're going to do it, that's how you do it. I would sell it to him at a discount. Because if you sell it, you're going to pay expenses anyway, right?

[Rachel Cruz]

Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

And so if it's worth 400,000, I'll sell you my 200,000 at 80%, which is 160. That's a great deal. You have 30 days to get me my money. If you do not get me my money in 30 days, I am going to begin a court proceeding that's going to force the sale of the house. And don't you know. And that's the end of the discussion. And then just go hire a lawyer and do it. And it'll take a dadgum year and it'll take 10,000 and it'll be $10,000 out of your pocket in legal fees.

[Rachel Cruz]

Is there a way to find a reputable attorney in Colorado?

[Dave Ramsey]

Sure.

[Rachel Cruz]

That was our other thing. It's like, how do you, how do you find one there without.

[Dave Ramsey]

Call one of our real estate endorsed local providers. Jump online at Ramsey and find the real estate endorsed local providers. Tell me you need a good real estate attorney, okay? And they'll give you a recommendation. And that's the only way. I mean, you gotta have somebody you that you trust. And these are high, high octane real estate agents that we endorse. And they'll know somebody that's a quality attorney that can litigate this. But I really wouldn't. You know, it may be that when you hire the attorney and you spend $500 and he has to, he decides to send a letter to the brother, that, that wakes the brother up and then the brother does it. Because the brother's probably, he's been living this way a long time. He's probably not going to take the first. He's not going to believe your husband that he's going to do anything because he's never done anything. So he's suddenly a man of action. That's going to be shocking to the brother. This is the Ramsay show. Remember the good old days of the Internet? Before it was a privacy nightmare filled with spammers, scammers, hackers, and fraudsters. Simpler times. Now, I don't have a time machine, but I do have the next best thing. Delete me. Think of delete me as your online bodyguard, helping to protect you from the risks of online scams and. And data breaches. Here's how they do it. They scour the web to find and remove your data from these sketchy data broker websites. And this includes your name, your phone number, your email, your address, and more. And Delete Me will send you a detailed report of what they did and how much time they've saved you. And They've saved me 66 hours so far, which is more time I can spend trying to nail the wordle of the day on the first try. Deleteme has been around for over a decade and they now have over 100 million data removals, which explains why they have a mountain of rave reviews and an a plus rating from the Better business Bureau. It's been great for my family and I love getting fewer targeted ads, fewer spam texts, and fewer creepy robocalls. So this holiday season, share peace of mind by gifting a delete me subscription to someone you love or even just like their individual. Plans start at just nine bucks a month and you can sign up today at JoinDeleteMe.com Ramsey for 20% off. That's JoinDeleteMe.com/Ramsey. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality. My daughter is my co host Today. Open phones at Triple 882-55-5225. Ashley is with us in Charlotte, North Carolina. Hi, Ashley, how are you?

[Rachel Cruz]

Hey, Dave. Oh my gosh. I'm so excited to talk to you guys.

[Dave Ramsey]

You too. What's up, kiddo?

[Rachel Cruz]

So my husband and I are looking into maybe starting a new business. We are totally debt free with a paid for house. We have one year of emergency funds paved up.

[Victor]

Wow, nice.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, we've been following you and doing you for seven years since we got married. And so we just got debt free not too long ago and paid our house off about a month ago.

[Victor]

Oh, wow. Congratulations, Ashley.

[Dave Ramsey]

Way to go.

[Rachel Cruz]

Thank you. So we are. I love food. I love making food. People really seem to like respond well when I post things on Facebook, sharing things and they have actually come to us wanting us and maybe start a food truck or like a cafe of some kind. We talked to our CPA and he was leaning more towards a food truck. He said that like the overhead was less, they were less likely to like not go under because of all the overhead. But my concern with the food truck, we have been looking into them is of course, you know, it would still be considered a depreciating asset. Correct. Like even if we paid cash and saved up for it, it's still depreciating versus like a brick and mortar. I mean, I guess if we're owning, if we don't own it, we're still paying rent. So I just didn't know if you were winged one way or the other.

[Dave Ramsey]

I would not decide my business model based on either one of those things or based on a CPA's advice.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

You need to decide your business model on what you want. Your dream is what do you want to operate? Do you want to operate a food truck? Do you want to operate a brick and mortar? And then let's figure out how to pay for it and how to make the money, how to make it profitable. Right. And is there another, is there another in between step, like start catering as a start and start to build up your customer base from catering. I know several excellent chefs that have big operations now that started as catering.

[Rachel Cruz]

Gotcha.

[Linda]

Okay.

[Victor]

And what's your end goal, Ashley? Do you want to be a.

[Dave Ramsey]

A restaurant owner? Yeah.

[Victor]

Like, do you want to like ha. Like is there a big dream or is it more just a passion of yours and you love it and it's something to do on the side that's really fun.

[Rachel Cruz]

I've always wanted to be more of a chef. Like the food in part of it is more like my dream and passion. My husband was in the food industry for a while and he actually was the business side of it. So as far as that, I think the, the brick and mortar having like a small cafe. I'm thinking something kind of small scale of like the Cracker Barrel. I'd love to have like a little store inside and be able to combine healthy like whole food plant based foods with more like regular foods. Like, like a blend of the two. So people that my husband eats burgers and fries and steak.

[Dave Ramsey]

I think the only reason you're considering a food truck is it's not. Doesn't sound congruent with this dream.

[Rachel Cruz]

Gotcha.

[Dave Ramsey]

The cafe sounds congruent with the dream.

[Rachel Cruz]

It does. Yeah. Now that you're talking me through that, it does. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. It just feels like it the way you say it out loud. And here's the thing. Your CPA is right about one thing. Restaurants have a higher failure rate than almost any other business category.

[Rachel Cruz]

Really?

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. And so you've got to really lean in on the business operations part, not just the food quality. Okay. If you make the best and healthiest food on the planet and no one is there, this isn't going to work.

[Rachel Cruz]

Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

And so there's the marketing and the operations of this. And what I would do is I probably would start as a catering operation and build a customer base and then look for a place to lease. Don't buy a piece of real estate and build you out a little restaurant and your leasehold improvements that you put in there will be a depreciating asset too.

[Victor]

But let me. I mean, but Ashley, like, I mean, and tell me if I'm wrong. I mean, but this could be hundreds of thousands of dollars. I mean, this isn't just like a little thing. And I wonder if that's why the CPA was like, yeah, a food truck is me way less expensive to get something going.

[Dave Ramsey]

Not necessarily. I mean, if you found a location that the building was there and someone else had had something, had the kitchen.

[Victor]

In there and got ready, some of.

[Dave Ramsey]

The commercial kitchen items are in there. You go in and renovate, you might spend less than a food truck to renovate it. It's possible. And, you know, to upgrade it, get the fresh coat of paint and, you know, that'll work. You could start with a food truck if you want to, but I just. The question is just what you want to do for the next five years of your life. And I think you want to cook, and I think he wants to run a restaurant. And that doesn't sound like a food truck to me. Yeah, that's a different gig. It's a different feeling.

[Victor]

And even Ashley, like, you know, we've been to a few places over the last probably two or three years, people's homes for events, and they have someone come in and cook and the, you know, in the. And the chef guy brings his card around. He's like, next time you guys have a party, I can do a. I can do a dinner for eight of your friends or like, you know, whatever it is. And I'm like, if you get the right people in a room that taste your food, that then spread the word, right? Like, there's ways to do it. So the catering, if that's what you were meaning. But even coming in and cooking for. For friends and. And having them bring friends and, you know, I mean, you can start small just to get the word out about what you're doing, because it sounds great, but also, I just know restaurant. It's just a big investment. Like, when you hear. When you hear brick and mortar, I mean, it's just. You're gonna be having staff, you're gonna. If there's not already a kitchen, how much those appliances cost. I mean, it's just. It's a lot. It's a lot. Not that it can't be done, Ashley, but it is. It is a. It's a feat to take on. So it's.

[Dave Ramsey]

You guys really drop $100,000 in a truck, and you can drop $100,000 into your leasehold improvements, either one real quickly, make sure you've got the cash. And that way, then the only overhead you've got is your lease and your payroll and your food.

[Victor]

I just know there's like the. I mean, I just can think of probably three or four food trucks. And I know that started as food trucks that ended up becoming restaurants because their brand was so big here in Nashville that they opened up a restaurant because of that. So I'm just wondering. That's not a stair stepping.

[Dave Ramsey]

It can be, but then you still got. You either continue to operate both, or you've got this extra truck left over.

[Victor]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

So I just. The question is what she wants to do. I mean, I'm with you on the idea of starting some chefing in home stuff. We were at a high end charity event, your mom and I the other day and the food was incredible. She collects the chefs card and he's helping us with the family reunion that's coming up. So I mean, you know, that's, so that's how, that's how you get the business out. And so it's, it's. But you can build a clientele based on that. And then if like we have friends that are chefs that have do in home stuff and if they ever open something, we'd be a customer.

[Victor]

Right?

[Dave Ramsey]

You know, so because we're a customer now, that kind of thing. Same kind of thing with this guy. And that's a process there that you can go through and pick up the book the E Myth by Gerber and read that. He talks a lot about learning to work on your business, not just in your business, because being a chef is one of the pieces you have to do to operate a successful restaurant. The other pieces are business orientation that your husband has apparently. And I would lean into all of that. I really, really would. Open phones at 888-825-5225. Thank you for. Listen, America. We appreciate you. If you are new to the Ramsey show and you're trying to figure out what in the world are we talking about? Dad, Snowballs. Baby steps. What does all these words, all this vernacular mean? Well, you can go to ramseysolutions.com and click on the get started button. The get started button. It is a free process to help you figure out what you're looking for in this Ramsey journey and how we can best serve you on this Ramsey journey, where you are now and what your next steps are, all those kinds of things. So click get [e-mail] and we'll get you moving. And, you know, you become acquainted with the baby steps and the debt snowball and all those kinds of things. If you just keep listening to the show, we'll keep talking about it and you'll start to understand what we're dealing with and you'll look it up and you'll watch a YouTube video or some people go through. If you want to do the best thing you can do, go through Financial Peace University and that'll line you up and get you, you know, get you on the fast track to doing everything and getting control of your money and changing everything. So all of that to say that we're here to help you. So check it [e-mail] hey guys, I've never done this before, but I'm partnering with a nutrition company, Field of Greens. Each fruit and vegetable in Field of Greens is selected by doctors to support heart, liver and kidney health plus metabolism for healthy. We and your doctor will notice your improved health or Field of Greens will give you your money back. I can get behind a promise like that. Go to fieldofgreens.com Ramsey and get 15% off with promo code Ramsey fieldofgreens.com Ramsey student loan debt is an epidemic pandemic and defaulting on debt makes you feel even worse. But our question of the day sponsor why refi refinances defaulted private student loans and builds a custom loan based on your ability to pay. You'll have a payment you can afford with a low fixed interest rate that you couldn't get anywhere else. Go to y refi.com today Ramsey that's the letter y r e f y.com Ramsey might not be in all states.

[Victor]

Today's question comes from Carter in New Hampshire. He says, my wife and I are avid listeners but we don't share the same views financially. I'm an analyzer when it comes to finances and it annoys her to no end. I have a two year emergency fund and our home is paid off. Together we earn $200,000 a year. She likes to spend and wants me to co sign on a vehicle that's $80,000. She has $10,000 in credit card debt and she pays $15,000 each year for private school for our kids. If I mention anything about money, I'm the one who's wrong. I wish I could say that we pay for vacations, recreational toys and trips, but these funds come from my checking account and she gets mad when I say that I pay for them. Is it okay to have an account together to pay bills and separate for spending accounts? I mean, I think you guys are disjointed completely when it comes to money. I mean obviously this is like a pick and choose what we want to do together and what we don't. And I think the goal here is that you are a unified team with all of it, right? All of it together. So the spending, the saving, where your kids are going to college or to school, where you guys, you know, what kind of cars you guys buy that you are in agreement together in those things. And so some, you know, she's a spender. So you guys are in a great position. You have no debt, you have great Emergency funds. So if she wants to go spend a little, you can't be crazy and be like, no, you can't spend anything. Right? And you sound a little bit. It sounds a little crazy to a degree, Carter, that she just wants a little bit of freedom. But then she, on the other end, is not what it sounds like. $80,000 car and credit card debt.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's crazy.

[Victor]

The same value system, though, is what's not being played out. So I think that's. That's the issue, is that you guys are functioning not on the same value system. And so it's looking like a mess like this. And the accounts, that doesn't fix it.

[Dave Ramsey]

I think people think. I don't think they have a money problem. People think they have a marriage. Right?

[Victor]

But that's the problem is people think, is it okay if we just have separate accounts? And what that does is it sweeps the one issue that you actually need to talk about under the rug. It doesn't fix it. It actually continues to alienate you guys from each other. So, no, Carter, I would not do these separate accounts. I would force you guys to work out of one account because to your point, it's actually going to reveal other issues that are actually going on in your marriage.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, and I'm the one that's wrong. She gets mad, you know, if you just change out the subject and it wasn't money and you were talking about something else and she acted that way or you acted that way. You over analyzed everything, which is what you're doing for sure. And on the other hand, then she's acting like a princess and stomping her foot with her little red face out till I get what I want. And if you don't let me have what I want, then you're wrong. This is a marriage problem. You guys desperately need to sit down with someone, because here's the problem, okay? The probability that you have a high quality marriage going forward using this system is close to zero. You may or may not get divorced later, but you're definitely not having fun in your relationship. And the probability that you build wealth with both of you pulling at each other the whole time instead of pulling the wagon. No, almost zero. One of the things we found, we studied wealthy people is the data tells us that they work together with their spouse. They're unified in their goals. They're aiming at the same target and pulling the trigger together. That's what we're doing. And you can't drag along a princess. She can't drag along someone who overanalyzes everything and has no fun left anywhere in life because you squeeze every dollar until George Washington screams and, no, you can't. You got it. You gotta have something in here. We gotta have some flow to this, some relationship to this that's not in here. And so, yeah, this desperately screams of a need for marriage counseling to me for sure. Open phones at Triple 8-825-5225. Bo's with us in Las Vegas. Hi, Bo. How are you?

[Rachel Cruz]

I'm doing good. Can you hear me?

[Dave Ramsey]

Absolutely. What's up?

[Rachel Cruz]

So I wanted to know if I can keep using my credit card. And I know you're probably gonna say no, but I'm gonna try anyway.

[Dave Ramsey]

You're right. No.

[Victor]

Do your convincing, though, so give it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Your best shot, Bo.

[Rachel Cruz]

All right, so this is a unique situation. I've never heard it on your show, and I've been only listening for, like, five months. Okay, so I have one credit card. I have a medical condition, and my medication is insanely expensive, and I can't afford it until I hit my deductible, which my insurance will cover, but my deductible is $13,000. And so the pharmaceutical company that makes it will reimburse me for it. And I've been doing this for two years. And so I use the credit card, and I get cash back for the. And then they reimburse me in a few days. So is that something that I would keep it for?

[Dave Ramsey]

Why don't you just pay cash?

[Rachel Cruz]

I only need to be. What was that?

[Dave Ramsey]

Why don't you pay cash?

[Rachel Cruz]

I can, but it's really expensive.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, good. We'll pay cash.

[Victor]

And then you. And then you still get reimbursed.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's really expensive either way, dude. You're out the money either way, right?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, but I get it. The money back from the pharmaceutical company.

[Dave Ramsey]

And so you use your cash, and then you get your cash right back.

[Rachel Cruz]

I can do that, but I get another 300 bucks or.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, whoopty doopty.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

You're gonna sell your financial soul for 300 bucks? Well, it's. I never met a millionaire said, you know, Dave, I made all my money on my airline miles.

[Rachel Cruz]

It's not airline miles.

[Dave Ramsey]

I know. It's 300 bucks. 300 bucks has never created a millionaire.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay. I just don't make a lot of money, so it's. It's really.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, then that's a. If. If $300 is a lot of money, then that's a different problem, isn't it? You have an income Problem, then, yeah.

[Rachel Cruz]

I don't think I'm gonna make more money. Why not? Because I'm lazy. I'm. I'm not really worth a lot of money.

[Dave Ramsey]

Why?

[Rachel Cruz]

I. Society would say I lack intelligence or education.

[Dave Ramsey]

They're different. You don't like intelligence. You've carried on a very clear conversation in a high pressure situation. You don't like and lack intelligence. You've. You've done a good job in this banter that we've had here, which was kind of fun. So you're not lacking in intelligence. You might not have education. That doesn't mean you're not able to make a living. What do you do? What do you make?

[Rachel Cruz]

I make 26, 35 an hour.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. That's not super bad. You were getting 40 hours.

[Rachel Cruz]

No, I worked. Well, it varies, but seasonally I work between 30 and 45 hours a week. It depends on what time of year.

[Dave Ramsey]

What do you do?

[Rachel Cruz]

It's kind of. I work for a distribution center. I'm. I operate. The simplest way I could say it is I manage robots.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Are you 24? Are you 24?

[Rachel Cruz]

No.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm sorry.

[Rachel Cruz]

42.

[Dave Ramsey]

42. Okay. So here's the deal. What I would do if I were you is I would say, hey, I can be anything I want to be. What are the steps to being one of those? And I could make twice as much money being one of those. And I want to go start working towards being one of those. And it could be an apprentice program, it could be a certification program. It could be a couple of classes at the local community college. I don't know. But you're capable of doing all of those things. And so your issue is that you need to increase your income and have some career goals. We'll help you with that. I'm going to give you Ken Coleman's book, find the work you're wired to do. I want to get the title right. So I turn around and looked at it, and it's got in it the get clear assessment. I don't have to look at it because we've had over a hundred thousand people take this assessment, and it'll help you get clear on what your skills are. And I want you to go work on that bow to where? $300 to where you're no longer in a place where you think $300 changes your life. Don't be in a place where you think 300 bucks change your life. You want to be in a better place than that, and then you don't fall into the traps of these stinking banks and these stinking credit card companies. And you get sucked in thinking they're actually there to help you. They're not. So problem solved. Hang on. We'll give that to you as our gift. This is the Ramsey show.

[Victor]

You've got a lot to keep organized in life. Kids and calendars and carpooling and cleaning. I mean it is so much. That's why you need a Knockbox. That way if something happens to you, you leave your loved ones with happy memories and not a huge mess. Knockbox is a complete system to help you organize your accounts, personal history, estate planning documents and all your other info in one place. I'm talking about everything from life insurance policies and social media accounts to your dog's vet divided into 15 simple categories. Plus they've got checklists that tell you what to add to each folder so your family won't have to gu guess where everything is. So start getting organized [e-mail] Ramsey your family will thank you. That's Knockbox. N o k box.com Ramsey live from.

[Dave Ramsey]

The headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey show. Where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create actual amazing relationships. The phone Number here is Triple 882-55-5225. Rachel Cruz, multiple number one best selling author, Ramsey personality, co host of the smart money Happy hour and my daughter is my co host today. Open phones at Triple 882-55-5225. Nicole is in Salt Lake City. Hey Nicole, how are you?

[Rachel Cruz]

Hi. I'm good. How are you?

[Dave Ramsey]

Better than I deserve. What's up?

[Rachel Cruz]

Well, I'm so grateful to actually get to speak to both of you, especially another working mom. I'm concerned with whether or not I would be harming my family's financial future if I take an extended maternity leave with my second child. I did. I didn't take that with my first child and I've had a lot of regret about that. And my husband and I are considering whether or not I could take a year or two off of work. If I did, we wouldn't be able to put as much toward our debt snowball as we have. We've paid off about $217,000 in 2020. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

What do you do, Nicole?

[Rachel Cruz]

I'm an attorney.

[Dave Ramsey]

What do you make?

[Rachel Cruz]

Net take home for both of us.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, I said what do you make?

[Rachel Cruz]

I think my net take home is 120.

[Dave Ramsey]

What about your husband?

[Rachel Cruz]

His is about maybe 60, I think. No, it was 70 last year. His net was 70.

[Dave Ramsey]

What's he do?

[Rachel Cruz]

He owns some car washes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so you're going to cut your income by 60, 65%?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruz]

And then we would still have $86,000 of my student loan left. It's our only debt besides our mortgage that we still have left to pay on, but we've been paying on it, and so it's going to set us back. We'll be able to make the minimum payments and maybe a little bit more with distributions, but maybe inconsistently. And I guess I'm just. I'm concerned because we started a family later in life. We'll both be in our early 40s by the time I wanted to go back to work. And so obviously, having that debt and then having not invested that long, I'm just concerned this is going to cause harm long term.

[Victor]

I kind of want to relieve you from that, Nicole. I don't think it's harm long term. I mean, I think, yeah, your goals are going to shift if your family goals shift, and that's a reality. But it's not like you're putting your family in massive danger here. Right. I mean, I have some other ideas that we can talk through here in a second, but this. So many women feel this, and especially since you're the breadwinner of that. I have to be the one to save everything, and it's up to me, and I'm gonna put my family in danger. You know, like, this language that you're using, it's very heavy, and I think it's. What I would say is that it's. You're putting more pressure on yourself than needs to be there. Yes. Getting out of debt is a huge goal, and it's one that I want you guys to work towards and one that you've made such significant progress to. But like we said the last hour of the show, we. We talked so much about how debt is a tool to create, or, I'm sorry, money is a tool to create a life that you love. And you guys have to look at your family units, and your family is a priority, Nicole. I mean, your family is one that you're like, okay, what. What is best for us right now? And as a mom, I get it like that. I mean, I pulled back from work after my third because I was like, I just. I want to be home more. And so all of that is real now. Does that mean we want to stop everything you guys have been doing and the progress you've made? No, I wouldn't suggest that either. And so I think a wonderful Middle ground, Nicole, for you is to have. Because I mean, an attorney. I'm like, that is such a stressful job and the hours you work, I mean, I can't even imagine. So what does life look like if Nicole stays home and her career shifts and your career looks different for a year or two? What does that look like? And so I would start, you know, having that kind of conversation of, and I don't know this world, Nicole, so you probably can direct me better in this conversation from this point on in this sense. But is there work to be done that you could do, outsource your skills at some level, some degree that is significantly less stress and less time than what you've been doing and still be bringing in some kind of flow?

[Dave Ramsey]

Right, because I offset the student loans that are there because of law school.

[Rachel Cruz]

Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

You know.

[Rachel Cruz]

Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

So let's use the law degree to clean up the law degree mess.

[Victor]

But does it have to your life?

[Dave Ramsey]

Maybe not. Maybe not in a traditional.

[Victor]

Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

Attorney setting.

[Victor]

Right.

[Dave Ramsey]

What Rachel's saying, and Rachel says she pulled back, she pulled back. She's not, but she's not out of the saddle either. She's, you know, her social footprint has grown. She's still doing appearances, she's still on this show, still launched a number one best selling kids book a few months ago. And so, and did all of that on, you know, less than a full time hour slate.

[Victor]

In an office. Yeah, correct.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, in the office. And so, you know, but we just shifted around how what we're doing with her brand and how we're doing that for a season here while the little one is there. And so for you, that's what I.

[Victor]

Would present to you. What does, what does that shift look like? Right, because there is a, you know, there's a level of responsibility that you guys have financially, right. That you have to fulfill. You have to make these payments and getting out of debt as you know, lifts so many burdens. Right. If you didn't have this debt, then you could have the option to stay home full time if you wanted. Right. So, but, but I do think, Nicole, that there's something there, that there still can be money to be brought in. I think you have to think creatively and that's probably, I would encourage you to do, to have something. And then he, honestly, Nicole will probably have to step up his game if you guys keep this momentum with paying off debt. I just don't want you to think it's an all or nothing. Things can shift.

[Dave Ramsey]

And harm is not the right word. Rachel's. Right. That's an overstated word, a mom guilt word in this. Because you guys can't win, okay? You get mom guilt if you're at home because you feel like you should be at work. And if you're at work, you get mom guilt because you feel like you should be at home. I mean, it's a no win. And there's always some more on either side of the coin telling you you should be doing the other one. Right. And so we're not going to be either one of those, but probably some kind of a change, a hybrid approach, because there's a part of me that says, okay, you went to all the trouble and the expense and the debt to be a lawyer, to go cold turkey doing nothing with that while you've still got 80,000 of it outstanding. That doesn't feel right either. Okay? But also not addressing this need that you've got, this desire, you've got to be at home doesn't feel right. And so I think somewhere in there, along Rachel's suggestion is the proper answer. But I want to take the. I'm with Rachel. I want to take the. The guilt thing of, are you doing irreparable harm? No, you're not doing irreparable harm. You just kind of got to think through. I spent a lot of who I am in money, time, debt, effort, brain power to be a lawyer. And to cut that off completely, even for just two years, feels pretty extreme.

[Victor]

Yeah. And Nicole and everyone's obviously created so differently, but considering what you've done and as you listed, all that, Dave, I was thinking, like, you know, you might look up in six months and be like, oh, my gosh, I'm. I'm crazy. I'm not happy because I need some output, you know? So you may find that in you, how you're wired. You're gonna want to do something as well. And so that's. That's a possibility, too. So you're doing great, Nicole.

[Dave Ramsey]

You're gonna be okay. You're gonna do good. You got. You're asking the right question. Questions. Hey, you guys, I'm not a fan of the big banks, and you probably already know which ones I mean, but I do like credit unions because they're nonprofit organizations that focus on their members. And I'm proud to endorse Fair Winds Credit Union because they share the Ramsey mission of helping people get out of debt and live generously. In fact, they design products to help keep you from going into debt in the first place. Fairwinds has been in business for over 75 years and they serve hundreds of thousands of members worldwide. You can feel secure because your deposits are federally insured by the NCUA up to $250,000. It's easy to join and Fairwinds partners with more than 5,000 credit union locations around the country, so you can bank in person wherever you live. But if you prefer the online experience, you can log on to Fairwinds and do anything you could do at a physical location. So go to Fairwinds.org Ramsey to learn more. And while you're there, look at the combined checking and savings account bundle they created just for Ramsey fans to help you take control of your finances. That's Fairwinds. F A I R W I n d s.org Ramsey hey guys, what's up? It's Jade.

[Victor]

Look, let's be real.

[Linda]

With everything that's been going on, staying.

[Dave Ramsey]

On track with your money gets tough between bills, trying to pay off debt, saving money. Honestly, it's a lot and I've been there. That's why I'm excited to tell you that Dave Ramsey and I are hosting a free live stream on January 23rd.

[Linda]

To help you take control of your money in 2025.

[Dave Ramsey]

Plus, Rachel Cruz and George Camel are also going to join us for a live Q and A where you can finally get your money. Questions answered on the spot. And check this out. You could win $4,000 in cash. It's a giveaway.

[Linda]

Imagine what you could do with all that money. All you've got to do to enter.

[Dave Ramsey]

The giveaway is to sign up for the live stream. That's. That's it.

[Linda]

So go to Ramsey Solutions.com livestream and sign up today.

[Dave Ramsey]

Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality, is my co host today. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. This is common sense for your dollars and cents concept Congress can't grasp. It's called the Ramsey Show. Thank you for being with us. The numbers, triple 882-55-5225. Aaron is with us in Las Vegas. Hi, Aaron. How are you? Good. Guys, thanks so much for having me.

[Rachel Cruz]

I really appreciate it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Sure. Our pleasure. How can we help? Well, my wife and I love the show. We've gone through fpu.

[Rachel Cruz]

We're in baby step six right now. So we're super excited about that.

[Dave Ramsey]

But a couple months ago, our situation changed. I'm currently in the process of being diagnosed with a very rare form of muscular dystrophy. And so just what I say, in the process, I've had a genetics test that's a possible match My doctor is 90% sure and I've done a biopsy, but next week I actually find out the results of the biopsy. And so we've obviously done the baby steps. We're in a good situation that way. But I guess my question is, what insurance and what type of long term planning would you suggest in this? And I guess, am I too late to get to the party, to get.

[Rachel Cruz]

Insurance in this sort of situation now?

[Dave Ramsey]

Life insurance?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yes, you're too late to the party.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right, sorry. The. And then how you plan for it would be based on, I don't know anything about muscular dystrophy in this millennial. I mean, I remember like the telethon when I was a kid or something, and that was when the dinosaurs roamed the earth. And I don't know what this prognosis means for you, do you or what do you understand? So far I know it's very rare. There's less than a thousand people in the US that have what I have, and I'm fully functional right now.

[Rachel Cruz]

But it's possible in the next 10.

[Dave Ramsey]

To 15 years I could be in a wheelchair and I could lose breathing function. So I'd have to have a respiratory device.

[Victor]

Aaron, I'm so sorry.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow, thank you. And then that, following that stage, it probably doesn't end well. I'm guessing.

[Rachel Cruz]

It'S very possible, yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

It continues to deteriorate or does it plateau off? With a breathing device, it can plateau, but more than likely it will deteriorate from there. How old are you? I'm 46. Okay. All right, so we're talking about 60 years old, give or take.

[Rachel Cruz]

Exactly.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. All right. I'm sorry, man. It's hard to face something like that.

[Victor]

Do you guys have kids?

[Rachel Cruz]

No, we did not.

[Victor]

How's your wife?

[Rachel Cruz]

She's so supportive.

[Dave Ramsey]

Very, very, very awesome.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, she's great.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, I think one of the things I'll tell you from working with families, I don't know anything about the medical world except that they call it practicing medicine for a reason. They're practicing. And so in other words, things change and extra opinions and continuing to study and continuing to argue with the. What's in front of you is good. Not in a denial way, but just not accept that that one guy says, okay, you're gonna be gone in six months. And you go, well, maybe not. Maybe I'm gonna try this. And you know, so on. So, you know, you're gonna, you're gonna, you're gonna become an expert on this. Dad. Blame it you know, to be an advocate for yourself. So I'm gonna tell you to continue to do that and don't just accept one thing and walk away. I don't think you were going to anyway. But second, third, fourth and later on eighth opinions, just keep working the problem. Now while you're doing that, there is, I have perceived in others, not myself, I've not experienced this. Okay? So just like someone calls me up and says I've got a stage four cancer diagnosis and they're giving me four months to live, okay, that call has come in here over the years several times, or I've actually sat with people in a room where they were telling me this stuff and they're already have processed the emotions and now are going, okay, what the flip do I do? Kind of thing. All right, so that's why you're calling. So in that case, what I found is that facts are your friends. And so there is a tremendous peace that comes from having your spiritual house in order, number one, but then number two, getting your house in order financially. And you say, okay, if this unfolds, I got about this many years and we're talking wheelchair, and then I got about this many years on a breathing device. And if it doesn't stop deteriorating, I've got this many years. And so you. Okay, based on that, I'm going to lay out a plan and then if I get a different result, I'll change the plan. But if you go ahead and make sure, okay, I got a will in place, I'm going to investigate and find out and make sure Dave's right about life insurance. I'm going to say this is our wealth building plan. We're going to continue to pay off the house. We're going to do this and this and this. And you know, the more detail, it sounds ridiculous, but the more detail you say, given this diagnosis, this is the exact plan. Once that detail's in place, it gives you just like a release, you know, a sense of peace. But having the medical be chaotic and the financial future being chaotic simultaneously is almost more than some folk can bear. So I'm going to encourage you to do what? Continue the journey. You started with this phone call and that is really detail out exactly what is your version of the baby steps facing this rare form of muscular dystrophy? Dystrophy, because it's almost chronic in that it's not, it's not a one year or two year diagnosis, it's a 15 year or 20 year diagnosis. Right. And so today it is anyway. It may change next week and it may change for the better next week. So facts are your friends. Details in the financial arena are not you being cold. They're giving your wife peace and you peace and then you can turn back around and concentrate on being well. Does that make any sense at all? No, it totally does.

[Rachel Cruz]

And just hearing about this, we found.

[Dave Ramsey]

Out in March and like you said.

[Rachel Cruz]

It'S, it's about, you know, emotionally trying to register it and then trying to.

[Dave Ramsey]

Figure out what the facts are. Yeah. And I feel like we're at that place right now and now I'm going.

[Rachel Cruz]

Oh, wait, I have to plan about the future now and figure that out.

[Dave Ramsey]

Which is why, like you said, I called. Yeah. And it's a different, it's a different future than it was in March. And truthfully, there may be a treatment that comes a year from now, you know, and then the thing changes again because you're not going to stop studying this. You're living it, you know.

[Victor]

Aaron, do you guys know medical bills? Have they given you guys any direction like your insurance? Do you guys know financially at all what the costs will be at certain stages of this?

[Rachel Cruz]

We do not. And it's because it's so rare.

[Dave Ramsey]

Rare. They're still, I mean, it's just being discovered sort of thing. So I, I'm in a research study right now. It's put me in one to hopefully take care of some of the medical bills, but also figure what this thing.

[Rachel Cruz]

Out and how it does in the long term.

[Dave Ramsey]

Right, yeah.

[Victor]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, I can tell you this, you know, continuing a big old pile of Money in your 401k and a paid for house is still going to help the situation. So that part didn't really change. Right, right. I mean it's. If you live with this deterioration and disability or you don't and you leave her with the situation, either way, a big old pile of money and a paid for house ain't gonna be bad. Right?

[Rachel Cruz]

True.

[Dave Ramsey]

So, you know, we could keep working 4 and 6. You know, the only question is in between, like Rachel saying, do we need to pile up some cash for interim treatments or treat? You know, we're gonna fly to Czechoslovakia because there's a treatment there that's not covered by insurance. Heck, I'm going, man. Heck, we're paying off the house. Get on an airplane, let's go, you know, and we'll change, redistribute that cash in a different way out of the budget. And of course you're going to anticipate your income Changing potentially as well as you go along. And so all of that goes with it. But just, you know, keep adjusting the plan. But the more detail the plan is, the more peace she's going to have, you're going to have. And then you can turn and your energy around to fighting the disease instead of fighting the money. And that's what people that are like with a cancer diagnosis are doing as well. So, man, I'm so sorry. And Aaron, we're here for you. We're not going anywhere. If you need something, you call anytime and tell your wife to call. If you for some reason aren't able to get on the phone, we'll help any way we can. Thanks for calling, man. I'm sorry.

[Victor]

Hey, what's going on?

[Dave Ramsey]

Dr. John DeLoney here. I'm excited for our next money and marriage getaway coming up over Valentine's Day Weekend 20. This is your chance to invest in your marriage, strengthen your communication and get.

[Rachel Cruz]

Away from all the noise and chaos.

[Dave Ramsey]

Of everyday life together with your spouse. You're worth an incredible marriage and trust.

[Rachel Cruz]

Me, it's way better than the chocolates.

[Dave Ramsey]

And flowers you had planned. Tickets start at 799 per couple. Go to ramseysolutions.comgetaway to get your tickets. Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality number one best selling author is my co host. Today in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt free stage. Stephanie is with us. Hi Stephanie, how are you?

[Linda]

Hi, I'm good. Dave and Rachel, how are you both?

[Dave Ramsey]

We're honored to have you. Where do you live?

[Linda]

I am about 25 minutes away from Boston, Massachusetts.

[Dave Ramsey]

Awesome. How much debt have you paid off?

[Linda]

About 105,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Way to go, kiddo. Excellent. How long did this take you?

[Linda]

Three years and eight months.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow. And your range of income during that time?

[Linda]

So I started at about 60,000 and I ended at 115,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Excellent. And what do you do for a living?

[Linda]

So I work for a hospital manager in it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Good for you. Okay, cool. And what kind of debt was 105,000?

[Linda]

So it was everything, Dave? About 360,000. $60 was medical. I had 3,100 in a car loan, 6,6200 personal loan, 7,000 in credit card debt. And the biggest was my student loans. It was about 88,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow. Okay, very cool. Okay, tell us your story. What happened three years and eight months ago that put you on this journey?

[Linda]

So I've, I've been living with debt since I was 18. So I, from the first time I got a credit card, I just.

[Dave Ramsey]

How old are you now 36.

[Linda]

Okay, so it took me 18 years to get here, but so 2018, like I said, I'd been struggling for many years and you know, I'd really have been praying and asking God to really help me because I never knew how to budget, just was out of control, didn't know what to do. So September 2018, I was home on maternity leave. I had my third child and I was actually searching for sermons really to watch on YouTube. And then in my feed it came this couple video came up and the title was Dave Ramsey ruined our lives. And so I never saw the couple before, never watched them ever. And I never heard your name, so. But it was pretty, you know, good looking couple, sharp couples. So I decided to watch. And they proceeded to say how, you know, they sit from the time they started your program, they were getting out of debt. I mean, you know, selling things left and right, living on rice and beans, not going out, just, you know, making sacrifices to live the life that they wanted to live ultimately. And so I, you know, and I believe it was divine connection. I believe God led me to that video. And so as I was watching, I said, wow, like they can do it, I can do it too. So I started searching for you on YouTube at that time. I just saw a lot of the short videos, the seven to ten minute clips. I didn't know you had a show, but I just started digging into those, learned about these, you know, the seven baby steps. I learned about, you know, just what you teach, what you practice, and it all made sense. Like I said, I was on maternity leave, so I only had, I was making half of my income at the time because I was, it was just using my vacation time to try and spread the time out. So I downloaded the Everdolla app and I couldn't really start the budget until October. That's when I went back to work. But I had the budget in place. I listened to Rachel Cruz and all the material that you guys put out there and tried to do my budget as best I could. And so once I went back to work in October, my budget was set and I pretty much hit the ground running. I initially started out, I was picking up instacart shifts, you know, even with sometimes my little kids in the car, my daughter, I would work full time during the day and I picked up a temp agency job, you know, at the evening. So we were home. It was during COVID So, you know, kids running around in the background, but I'm doing a temp agency job. And I also you know, delivered pizza for Domino's, you know, a short while. Fast forward to 2020, December 2020, I interviewed and got, got a position at another hospital. So that jumped me up in my pay about 20,000. And the next year, 2021, about November, I got a promotion to manager. So in that jumped me up as well. So that has been my journey through 2018 to wow, now you worked your tail off, kiddo. I was and you know what? I believed in the vision. I believed, believed what you taught. And I from that first paying off that first credit card, just seeing how free, you know, how a little bit of, you know, space in my budget and I said, wow, this really works. And I was determined, regardless of what people said, I was determined that I was going to do it not just for myself and my, my kids to leave a legacy. And that's really why I kept going.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow, congratulations. That's a very proud of you.

[Victor]

That's a big deal. I mean, you know, we get all different types of debt free screams on the stage and we celebrate them all. But you doing this with little ones over three years, working all these shifts, I mean you've done the hard work. You've done it. Congratulations.

[Linda]

Thank you.

[Victor]

Incredible. Absolutely incredible.

[Dave Ramsey]

Beautiful. What do you tell people the secret to getting out of debt is? It sounds like seven extra jobs.

[Linda]

Yeah, well, in perseverance. But I think the biggest thing is a mindset. Mindset change. You know, people that I talk to and I let them share my journey with, they're happy for me. But you know, a lot of what I hear is, you know, you'll never be out of debt, you're always going to have debt. And I by soaking myself into your show, you know, listening, watching all the debt free screams that have come across the stage, you know, watching the Everyday Millionaire, you know, like listening to all these people that have done it and they live debt free, it is possible. So I think it requires a mindset shift, you know, being around different people, listening, but realizing that it is possible, but also perseverance. I mean regardless of what comes, I mean I had life happen during those three and you know, eight months, so. But it's perseverance, being willing to persevere through and trusting God in the process. Because once you've committed to it, he will see you through the end.

[Dave Ramsey]

Amen. Amen. Well done. Very, very, very well done. Who are your biggest cheerleaders?

[Linda]

I would say a little bit of everybody. I mean my mom is here, my family, they all supported me through this journey. My coworkers at work. When I, at the time when I could pick up on call shifts, they would know I was on this journey and so they would help me out, send me their on call shifts. But I think the biggest one is my oldest daughter. During COVID she was my babysitter. When I had to pick up the shifts, she was my babysitter. And she sacrificed a lot. But she knew what we were after, she knew the reason why we sacrificed. And she was willing to delay gratification for a season so that we could be here today, you know, and become debt free. So I would say she's my biggest out of, out of everyone, my biggest supporter, my biggest cheerleader.

[Dave Ramsey]

Was it worth it?

[Linda]

Absolutely. Absolutely.

[Dave Ramsey]

How's it feel to be free?

[Linda]

Amazing. I cash flowed this trip here. It wasn't cheap, but I didn't stress the money's there. It's absolutely amazing. And I wouldn't, I wouldn't trade anything for the world. I would do it again if I had to.

[Dave Ramsey]

And you don't have any payments. That's the beauty. Making 1001500 $20,000 a year and the ability to pick up and do whatever you need to do because you've proven that to yourself and your kids. So your kids got to witness a warrior princess. That's beautiful.

[Linda]

Amen.

[Dave Ramsey]

You got after it, kiddo. You really got after it. Well done. Very, very well done.

[Victor]

Congratulations. You're a good mom.

[Dave Ramsey]

Absolutely.

[Victor]

You're a good mom.

[Dave Ramsey]

We got a copy of Baby Steps Millionaires for you. That is definitely the next chapter in your story. You are on your way. Thank you. And a copy of the Total Money Makeover for you to give away to someone who was inspired by your story that you run into, because I'm sure you've talked about it some. And of course, Financial Peace University. We want you to go through the class. We just launched the new videos. The best class we've ever had at Financial Peace right now available. So one year membership will give you that as well. If you've been through it and you want to give it away, that's fine. We're happy to have you pass it on however you want to do it. It's very, very good. All right, bring the kiddos up and tell us their names and ages.

[Linda]

So I have sanaya. Sanaya is 15 years old. Emanuela, she is five. And my youngest one, Atara, she's three years old.

[Dave Ramsey]

Love it. Beautiful. Very, very, very well done. All right, all right. Stephanie from Boston, Mass. Three years and eight months to pay off 100. 5,063 jobs. I'm exaggerating a tiny bit, but not much. And some help from the teenage daughter. That's just beautiful. 60 to 115,000 income during that time. Count it down. Let's hear a debt free scream.

[Linda]

Three, two, one. We're debt free. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well done. Oh, man.

[Victor]

Man, she made me tear up.

[Dave Ramsey]

She gets it. She gets it. And she pushed it through. That's beautiful. Very, very well done. That lady. That lady's a force of nature right there, man. That's what you have to do. She said it beautifully. What's it take? It takes a mindset.

[Victor]

I know, I know. And you have the. And you know, it's not forever.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's a mindset change.

[Victor]

But in those moments, in those nights, it's hard to leave. And she still did.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm gonna live like no one else so that later I can live and give like no one else. This is the Ramsey Show. Between Christmas shopping and holiday get togethers, investing might be the last thing on your mind. But there are certain things you might need to take care of before the year ends. And you don't have to do it alone. The SmartVestor program can connect you with a financial advisor. Whether you've got questions about retirement planning, required distributions, or anything in between, a SmartVestor Pro will walk you through what you need to know. Head to ramseysolutions.com smartvestor to get connected. Ramsey Solutions is a paid non client promoter of participating pros. Learn [e-mail] SmartVestor the best way to make the most of your money is to make your money do what you want it to do instead of wondering where it went. Tell your money what to do instead of wondering where it went. Most people in this life live reactively. But people who are proactive, who happen to things intentionally are the ones that we call successful people. In the wealth building world. If you're going to happen to your money, you do that with a budget. And every dollar is the budget that'll help you do it. It's the app that's free in the App Store and Google Play. Download every dollar, get the premium version while you're at it and start working with your spouse, working the baby steps, working paycheck planning. There's all kinds of tools inside this thing. They're going to help you do the Ramsey system more efficiently and it really sets it up to win. Go to everydollar.com or download the EveryDollar app for free in the App Store or Google Play today. Dorothy is with us in Fort Myers, Florida. Hi, Dorothy. How are you?

[Rachel Cruz]

Hi, David. Hi, Rachel. Thank you for taking my call. And I'm in Naples, just so you know.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, cool. How can we help today?

[Rachel Cruz]

Well, I unfortunately am a widow. My husband committed suicide last year.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, my gosh.

[Rachel Cruz]

And I would really appreciate it if you'd let me borrow your magoo glasses to see my way through my mess.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm so sorry. Wow, me too.

[Rachel Cruz]

Me too. It was certainly something that we weren't expecting. And now I'm, you know, I have a lot of debt, and I want to get rid of it. And I have some very specific questions for you. One of them is I have an IRA that has some money in it that was part of his. Do you know what the drop is? Have you heard of that term?

[Dave Ramsey]

How much is in the IRA?

[Rachel Cruz]

It's not a lot. It's about 40 grand.

[Dave Ramsey]

About 40k.

[Rachel Cruz]

And it's not invested in anything that's earning us and earning me anything.

[Dave Ramsey]

How old are you?

[Rachel Cruz]

I'm 57.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. And what is your career?

[Rachel Cruz]

I don't have one. My husband wanted me to be his playmate when he retired, and we had a granddaughter who was born with some complications, and so I stopped working to help, you know, get her through that. And he just did want me to go back to work, so I didn't. And so we played, and we accumulated a lot of stuff, and I know I can sell that stuff to get into a much better financial situation. And it's just taken some time to kind of sort through. Sorry. To kind of sort through everything. And I wasn't expecting to get emotional, sort through everything and get some clarity in all of it, you know, So I know I need to get a job. I do know that, and I want one, and I've already started looking for one. And it's kind of hard not knowing what to do because I have no technical skills whatsoever because I've been out of work for so long. I'm a personal person, so I know, you know, like, customer service and things of that nature I should do pretty well at. So I'm gonna. I plan on doing that right away, and I plan on selling several assets right away. It's just taking me some time to get there. I already downloaded your Every Dollar app, and so I'm, you know, working with that right now.

[Dave Ramsey]

What is the most pressing thing you have today that we can help you with?

[Rachel Cruz]

Well, I. You know, I still have our two trucks that I have payments on, and I have some Credit card debt. And that was one of the questions I wanted to ask.

[Dave Ramsey]

Do you have any cash other than this 40K?

[Rachel Cruz]

No, sir.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. How are you, how are you paying? Light bill and food bill and all that?

[Rachel Cruz]

His pension. I get a. Yeah. And that's supposed.

[Dave Ramsey]

How much is. How much is his pension?

[Rachel Cruz]

A year or monthly? Monthly, it's just under 5,500. And for annual it's like 65,9.

[Dave Ramsey]

And how much is your house payment?

[Rachel Cruz]

My house payment is 1900.

[Dave Ramsey]

And how long does the pension last?

[Rachel Cruz]

The pension is going to end in less than five years.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, good. So we got a really good plan here. You can survive monthly. You can survive and have been monthly on the 55 with the every dollar budget. That's very possible. We may or may not use the 40. We'll see. Prefer to wait after 59 if we can. And you're going to get rid of the truck payments by getting rid of the trucks and getting you a car you can afford. And you're going to start the next chapter of your life. You're a wee 57 year old. You have a lot left. Lot left. This is your chapter two. This is act two. After the curtain comes back up, we took a bow. It's an encore. Didn't turn out like we thought it was going to. The story takes a twist, a rather tragic turn, and the heroine steps forward with her shield and her sword.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay, thank you, thank you.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's you. That's where you're going. And so what's going to happen is three years from today, you're going to be booming as the biggest real estate agent in Naples or whatever it is you choose to do. Okay. And you're going to be laughing about this little tiny pension, but it survived you, it sustains you when it should have. And that was good. But it's certainly not your future. You are your future. Okay, Right. Mathematically you are. Emotionally you are. Spiritually you are.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Financially you definitely are. So you're the. You're the secret sauce to the equation. And you're up to it. You can do it. I can tell by talking to you. I mean, you're hurting. But any normal human would be hurting with what you've gone through, honey. But I think there's a lot going on inside Dorothy.

[Victor]

So how much debt, Dorothy, you mentioned that, you know, you guys kind of just traveled and bought stuff and racked up some debt. I'm just curious, what all is the debt? How much credit card debt is it?

[Rachel Cruz]

I have about. It's actually $18,306.38.

[Victor]

Okay. And what other debt is there?

[Rachel Cruz]

I have the house is just a little over 100,000. That'll be under 100 after September's payment. I have two trucks totaling 21,000 and an RV that's at 15.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. So the trucks and the RV are gone. And get you a reasonable car, but that's it.

[Victor]

Right.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

And then we're going to plow through the. Plow through the credit cards. Is there anything else?

[Rachel Cruz]

The credit card. No. I mean, just monthly payments, of course.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, here's what we're going to do. Okay. I'm going to load you up with homework. Are you ready to go to school?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes, sir.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right.

[Rachel Cruz]

Can I ask you one more quick question?

[Dave Ramsey]

Yes, ma'am.

[Rachel Cruz]

You might. I'll wait till you're done and then maybe.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, you go ahead.

[Rachel Cruz]

Go ahead.

[Dave Ramsey]

Go right now.

[Rachel Cruz]

Well, I had already taken one of the credit cards and put it on a 0% for 18 months and I'm plugging away at that one. The other one has an interest rate. It's the one that's only at 6,000. Would it behoove me to transfer that to a 0% for 18 months?

[Dave Ramsey]

Doesn't matter. You can if you want. You can if you want, but that's not your problem. Your problem is getting the income up above and having your future lined out. And once you see that, then you can turn up the heat and just get rid of them. And the interest rate doesn't matter when you're paying aggressively on them. So if you want to, it's okay. Yeah, but it's not really the answer to your situation at all. So hold on. Christian is going to pick up. We're going to put you into Financial Peace University. We're going to provide you with a financial coach all as our gift. Okay? We're people of the book, and the book instructs us to take care of widows and orphans. And we will do that today. Okay? So you're going to get that. I'm also going to send you Ken Coleman's book. The find the work you're wired to do. It has in it an assessment. I want you to take the assessment. I want you to start the process of dreaming about what the new future looks like for Dorothy. What is it you want to be when you grow up? You're just a wee 57 year old. Just a tiny little. You can do it. You can do it, Dorothy.

[Victor]

And I'm so proud of you. Can we Just say too, you haven't messed anything up. When people go through tragedy, we even tell them just to pop.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Victor]

For even a year. Right. So, like, you, you. You're not behind all of it. I know it probably feels very overwhelming, but you've done the right thing.

[Dave Ramsey]

Hey, guys, if you. I'm sorry. If you. If you want to hear the next 40 minutes of the show, it's on the Ramsey app, the Ramsey Network app. So you can download that for free in the App Store or Google Play. Make sure you jump over and get it there. If you want to listen to all three hours or watch all three hours, you can always do that on the Ramsey Network app. It's come completely free. Doesn't cost you a thing. So the last 40 minutes of the show. Now, if you're on talk radio, it's still there, right where it always has been. But if you're on podcast or YouTube, it's on the Ramsey Network app in the App Store or Google Play, it's completely free. This is the Ramsey Show. What up? What up?

[Rachel Cruz]

It's Dr. John DeLoney from the Dr.

[Dave Ramsey]

John DeLoney show with some amazing news.

[Rachel Cruz]

The latest episode of United States of.

[Dave Ramsey]

Anxiety is available right now exclusively on the Ramsey Network app.

[Rachel Cruz]

App. This docu series follows real people from my show as they embark on a.

[Dave Ramsey]

90 day journey to transform their lives. And I personally walk alongside them every.

[Rachel Cruz]

Step of the way. Okay, now here's a sneak peek of what the new episode is all about. And don't forget to click the link in the show notes to download the app. What's up, Kelsey? So I've lived with crippling anxiety for as long as I can remember. How do I stop it from constantly coming up in different areas of my life?

[Victor]

What does crippling anxiety mean?

[Dave Ramsey]

Paint me a picture of that. All right, so you ready to jump in?

[Rachel Cruz]

I'm ready to jump in. We're gonna check in with Kelsey. 30 days, 60 days, 90 days. I cannot even function because I am just crying. My mom left us when I was 4. I truly felt like for a while I had no family.

[Dave Ramsey]

She's experiencing things that really hurt a long time ago.

[Rachel Cruz]

Tell me about this boy. He triggers me a lot.

[Dave Ramsey]

Scared of losing Paul, scared of doing.

[Rachel Cruz]

The wrong thing, Scared of not being enough.

[Dave Ramsey]

It just feels like it would be.

[Rachel Cruz]

Exhausting to be Kelsey. It is.

[Dave Ramsey]

Whenever somebody's playing whack a mole with.

[Victor]

Their anxiety, when it just keeps moving.

[Rachel Cruz]

That tells me the underlying system's not okay. How do I get my inner child out of this relationship because I feel.

[Dave Ramsey]

Like she's running the show.

[Rachel Cruz]

One of.

[Dave Ramsey]

Of two people that's supposed to never leave took off.

[Victor]

I was this.

[Rachel Cruz]

I was this burden. You're burdened. That's right. To the one person who should carry it.

[Dave Ramsey]

All of it.

[Rachel Cruz]

Did you ever tell that little girl that it wasn't her fault? I don't know what to do. You either have to choose to let.

[Dave Ramsey]

This guy love you, or you gotta.

[Rachel Cruz]

Choose to let this guy go.