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Dave Ramsey
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John Deloney
Normal is broke and common sense is weird. So we are here to help you transform your life. From the Ramsey Network and the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio, this is the Ramsey Show. I'm John Deloney joined by Jade Warshaw taking your calls, 888-25525. Let's go to Charlotte, North Carolina and talk to Alyssa. What's up, Alyssa?
Caller
Hi, you guys.
Thanks so much for taking my call. I appreciate what you guys do so much.
John Deloney
Of course. Thanks for calling in. What's up?
Caller
Okay, so the simple question is we are wondering, my husband and I are wondering if there is any way and how you might suggest the best way is to get out car lease early. We have no consumer debt other than this car, car lease, which we refer to as our stupid tax. But we are expecting a baby. And I just found out from early on and just reevaluating our budget and have known for a while that this Carly's, you know, wasn't the best decision, but are now at the point of trying to look into possibly getting out of it and just have no idea where to start.
Jade Warshaw
Okay, how much is the lease? What do you pay every month?
Caller
We pay 499amonth and we have about 22 months left on the payment schedule and the buyout amount is about 29,000.
Jade Warshaw
Okay. And do you have any money saved anywhere?
Caller
We do. So we do. We have about 15,000 liquid. But two things with that, you know, one, we are expecting. I am a high risk pregnancy and so we, I have type 1 diabetes. So there's just some interesting things with pregnancy there. And then to, you know, we, we do have that 15,000. We have thought, well, if we are able to get out of lease, we'll need at least a portion of that to purchase a car. So those are kind of our only two thoughts there.
John Deloney
Oh, so if you, the only cash you have is that, is that, is that basically your emergency fund right now?
Caller
That is.
John Deloney
Okay, so if you got out of this lease, you'd have to take a chunk of that to buy a car for you and this new baby, right?
Caller
Yeah, correct.
Ooh.
Jade Warshaw
Well, let me, let me put you on pause for a second because the truth is, you, I wouldn't do anything today with this. You are in stork mode. I would not jump into that savings. You need it there. That's cushioned. That's for your peace of mind. And you've been paying this 499 payment I'd pay it a little bit longer until the baby comes. When does the baby get here?
Caller
Nine months. So we're brand new?
Jade Warshaw
Oh, it's brand new. What's your husband earn?
Caller
He is in sales. He earns about safely 80, but, you know, this past year was actually closer to 100, so. But safely, you know, 80,000.
Jade Warshaw
And you're high risk. Are you able to work through the pregnancy or any portion of it?
Caller
I'm working, yeah. I work from home. I work remote, and I'm able to do that throughout the pregnancy. Our plan, our hope is for me to go part time. If the only thing that is preventing us from me going part time is this stupid lease.
Jade Warshaw
And what do you make when you work full time?
Caller
I think about 70.
Jade Warshaw
Okay.
Caller
So we're just stacking cash right now. I mean, that's our plan. Yeah.
Jade Warshaw
What other debts do you have?
Caller
Nothing.
Jade Warshaw
Oh, that's the only debt.
Caller
Sorry.
Besides a mortgage? Besides a mortgage.
Jade Warshaw
Okay. So is it possible that on 15,000, 150,000, you can cut back a couple of areas so that this paying this lease feels a little more tenable and in the meantime, you continue stacking cash, whatever extra margin that you have. Because I don't like the idea of you going down to no emergency fund and then feeling the pressure of having to stack that up very quickly. Do you see what I'm saying? Because you are going to have to get a new car if you do that.
Caller
Right, right.
Jade Warshaw
And that's the part I don't want,
Caller
which I. I have a feeling you're going to say no. We do have. Both of us do have Roth IRAs.
Jade Warshaw
No, no, it's not. It's not desperate.
John Deloney
You're not in it.
Jade Warshaw
You're not in a. It's not desperate times. Right.
John Deloney
You're annoyed.
Caller
Yeah. I didn't know if mine. I mean, mine, we just have 7,000 in, so it's not a huge amount. So I didn't know if you'd say. And that might be good to just.
Jade Warshaw
No, because it's locked in.
Caller
Okay.
Jade Warshaw
It's locked in. And by the time you take it out, not only are you going to have to pay taxes and, you know, penalties. Penalties on it. But yeah, if you just. If you just up and pull that money out and take it out like a contribution, you're going to pay a 10% penalty. So I would not touch that.
Caller
On a Roth IRA, you pay a 10% penalty.
Jade Warshaw
Well, are you talking about just pulling out the money that you've invested, not the growth?
Caller
Yeah. I'm talking about the contribution, just 7,000 that we put in my Roth IRA.
Jade Warshaw
Yeah, I understand what you're saying. You could pull that money out and not have any, anything attached to it. But I wouldn't do that for the simple principle of you're in a situation or a season of life where you're changing your behavior with money. And what that means is I'm going to start doing the smartest things as I possibly can with my money.
Caller
Sure.
Right.
Jade Warshaw
You know what I'm saying? Yes. So once you know the information, just abide by it.
Caller
So, last question. Is there a world in which you would suggest getting, like, a smaller loan, like refinancing the lease or going to, like, a credit union or something like that to get.
Jade Warshaw
I'm thinking. I was thinking about that. But here's what I. Here's where you're at. You would still be out your emergency fund, right, because you'd have the 15,000 and then we'd have to come up with another, oh, 9,000 to fill the gap.
Caller
Right. That's where we were thinking about the Roth. But you're saying no, no.
Jade Warshaw
And that. Yeah, it doesn't solve your problem. My. For me, your biggest problem is you need cash when the baby comes, and you need as much cash as you can because to your point, it's not just the baby anymore. You're at a high risk status, too. So I'd want. If I were in your shoes, I'd want my deductible.
John Deloney
I'd want every penny.
Jade Warshaw
I can't. You know, I'd want the family deductible put aside. I'd want money set aside. So if we need meals and extra help, you know, all of those things, because you just never. Don't get me wrong, I wish you nothing but the best, but you just never know how these situations go.
John Deloney
Or suddenly, two months in, you can't work. You're. You got to go on bed rest because your, your diabetes gets up. So, yeah, I think, Jade, I think this is the first time I've, in years of doing the show I've ever told somebody, stay in the lease.
Jade Warshaw
Well, you. At this point, you have. Listen, if you called me today and there was no baby, I would consider saying, hey, go down to the credit union, you know, get a $15,000 loan, you know, so that you have the money, you can buy this thing out. Yeah, I would do that in a heartbeat. But even. I'll be honest, even with your numbers, it's, it's close. And the reason I say it's close because I'm like, okay, you'd have to take out a $15,000 loan. Then you'd have to turn around and take, I don't know, 5 or 8,000 more just to get a vehicle. And you'd end up at the same. You'd end up pretty, pretty close to where you are now. So that's the only reason. I don't even know that I would mess with it. I think that I would just start stacking up the cash to buy it out.
Caller
Yeah. And we have paled, stripped out our budget to bare minute. I mean, you know, we. Once we hit that store, we were like, okay, everything goes. YouTube TV, you know, our car wash subscription, like everything else. Yeah, but. But, you know, just. It's just this pesky. It's just a lingering amount that we're just hoping to, you know, get rid of. But yeah, that might just be our stupid tax.
Jade Warshaw
And it. I honestly, it is because when you really run out the math on both sides, it's not really worth it to go and get that loan from the credit union and then have to add more cash to it. It's just at that point, I'd say, hey, just pay the thing off. Because here's the thing. In the time, in this next nine months, you're gonna stack up a bunch of money, and as soon as this baby is born and everybody comes home healthy, you're going to completely buy this lease out. If you want to, you might. By then, you might think, oh, well, we'll just run it out and then from there on, we'll just buy a car.
Caller
Yeah, we're gonna turn it in and buy a car. Yeah, that's exactly our plan. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jade Warshaw
Hey, it's a good question, and I love that you're thinking about it. Just take a chill pill, push pause for now and get it rolling in nine months.
John Deloney
And never lease a car again. I know that's. You already know that it's the most
Jade Warshaw
expensive way to operate a vehicle.
John Deloney
Exactly.
Jade Warshaw
Period.
John Deloney
Yeah.
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John Deloney
All right, let's roll out to one of my favorite places in the United States, San Antonio, Texas, man. They do queso, right? And let's talk to Harley. What's up, Harley?
Caller
Hey, John. Hey, Jade. I'm so excited to talk to you guys.
John Deloney
You too, man.
Caller
My question's right in your wheel. I think my question's right in your wheelhouse.
John Deloney
Perfect.
Caller
I'll just dive right in. So I'm getting married to the love of my life in about 30 days.
John Deloney
Gross.
Caller
which point. I know, right? So at that point, we're going to move in together. We're going to combine finances. We both want to combine finances. We both want to be totally united as a couple. I'm the nerd and she's the free spirit. So for myself and for everyone at home, could you guys just go over some of the reasons why we combine finances with our spouse, some of those benefits that come with being united. And then for myself, how do I engage her on this topic without sounding preachy and in a way that kind of excites her? Like, how do we set these shared goals and run after them together? We want to save for a house. House. And want to have kids. Maybe set her up to stay at home, too.
John Deloney
Very cool. The first thing I would tell you is there's some, there's some what, what I call nerd work. There's some research data that some researchers went down the rabbit hole and trying to see if was there was there a causal or a coral correlative link between couples who shared their accounts and couples who didn't. And not to our surprise, but to surprise out in the world, there was couples who shared a single account were forced to make planning decisions together. And because there was the artificial, like, environment that was the research study, there wasn't a way out of it. So they'd agreed to do this. And so that forced them to sit down at a table and figure out what do we value organic foods or non organic foods? This kind of car. That kind of car. The. The temperature at 78 or the temperature at 72, which is going to cost us an extra this money every month. They were forced to have those kind of conversations that so many couples just blow by and their relationship quality was higher. And so I think the, the in and of itself, sharing the account, that isn't the magic sauce. What's the magic sauce is it forces you to have big, real, authentic, deep conversations about how y' all are going to do life together. And that leads to your next question. The fact that you already have this level of self awareness is pretty impressive. Most people call us seven to 10 years into their marriage, and they're like, we hate each other because he always tries to hit me over the head with his spreadsheets. Or, you know, she wants to look at spreadsheets and I just want to go, you know, buy Pokemon cards or whatever. And so the fact that you already know, like, oh, I can, I can be a lot with my spreadsheets. And she likes to have really nice things all the time. The fact that you already know that, now that's a good thing. Dave has, has taught this for years, and he passes this wisdom along. And I'll pass it along to you. He says, when you're, when you're combining it for the first time, and one of you is like a, like dyed in the wool nerd, and one of you is a free spirit, the nerd makes the first pass of the budget, and then to quote Dave, they pass it across the table and then they shut their mouth and they let their spouse look at it. And a. There's going to be what I would call principled things like, hey, you have 19 a week for us to eat on. Actually, I've been to a grocery store. Food costs 300 a week, so we have to adjust that. And so there's the practical changes, right? You have $9 a month for water bill. I like to shower more than 32 seconds. And you're a, we're nerd family. We can get done with showers quick, right? And so then there's a practical. And then there's the, hey, what if we enjoyed our life too? What if we lived? What if we smiled sometimes? And as a nerd, you're like, no smiling, just savings, right? And so it. But it's, it's you saying, hey, I made a first pass at this, but your voice at this table really matters. And both of you have to practice letting each other speak up. Does that make sense?
Caller
Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I kind of figured maybe that would be a good way to do it. But I didn't want to come off as like, here's my idea and what I think we should do. And do you agree?
John Deloney
Well, the conversation before that is you going first with, I'm a nerd. Would it be cool if I made a first pass at a budget? And I'm going to hand it to you because I know I'm going to miss some stuff like joy and fun and laughter and meals. And I want you to be fully at this thing.
Caller
Right.
John Deloney
And if she says, yeah, that'd be awesome, then that, that's fantastic. If you think she's going to look at it and she's already nervous to challenge you and she's going to hand it back and say, it looks fine. Dave would say, I'll say she has to change at least one or two line items like get in the practice of I'm going to change something.
Caller
And that makes sense.
John Deloney
You get in the practice of smiling and saying, I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad you're here. Right. Not. Well, I did the research and I, you know, that kind of thing.
Caller
Right, Absolutely. Definitely.
John Deloney
We think. Jade, what am I missing here?
Jade Warshaw
I mean, I think you're right. I mean, yeah, a lot of the data does show that the couples that combine their money, they just have a higher relational satisfaction. And I mean, I can tell you anecdotally, I really think it's because it's like that scripture where your treasure is, your heart is there also. And I think that when you combine money and you see people spending habits and you see the things that they value and you see their little quirks, it causes you to get to know them better and you go, oh, okay. It's so weird that she only like, to your point, it's oh so weird. She only buys, you know, the, the, the national brand. She never buys, you know, the, the knockoff brand. And then you can ask questions about that like, you just get to know each other better. You figure out this is what they value, this is what they don'. What you know is a trigger for them. This is not what it, you know, this doesn't trigger them. I just think that that's such a cool thing to have from the very beginning and it, it costs you nothing. Just, just put your name on the account and then just let it fly.
John Deloney
Harley, have you ever lived together?
Caller
No. No.
John Deloney
Okay, so it's going to astonish you that what you used to accomplish with one bottle of multi purpose Soap, she has 19 different bottles that do different
Jade Warshaw
things and don't question it.
John Deloney
Half used tube of lotion that you got from a hotel once she's got 117 different lotion. It's all like, right? But it's all these. You don't even know, right? And she's gonna probably want you to wash socks and underwear, like, after every time you wear them, right? And not once a month, like you're used to.
Jade Warshaw
Grouped with the right colors, please.
John Deloney
Exactly. So all this stuff is, like part of those. It's the conversations beneath the conversations that. That almost always go undiscussed. And it leads to her going, ugh. And you going, geez. And then you look up and two years of ugh, and good grief. And one of y' all putting the thermostat up and the other one putting it down without telling the other person. It builds this. The. It tills the soil for resentment. And having this just having beyond, just something as simple as is joining accounts, man, it changes your life. I'll also say this. You want to be a real gangster? Ask her if she wants to go ahead and keep her bank
Caller
interesting. And why is that?
John Deloney
Why not?
Caller
Yeah, why not?
John Deloney
I mean, if you. If you have a case for my bank is superior to your bank, and what, like, so be it. But I'm just trying to think of ways that you could be extra hospitable in a situation where she already knows you're kind of the money guy, and that's kind of your identity, and you're kind of the. Kind of the spreadsheet, bro. A way to come in and already say, dude, my whole life is going to be in service to you is, hey, I'm gonna pull all my money out of my bank, and I'm gonna reroute my direct deposit to your bank. Is that cool?
Caller
Yeah, that's great. That's. That's really insightful.
John Deloney
It's just. It's just a little bit.
Caller
Yeah.
Taking my call?
John Deloney
Yeah, you bet, man. When do y' all get married?
Caller
May 23rd.
John Deloney
May 23rd.
Jade Warshaw
Exciting.
John Deloney
Y' all spending a bunch of money on it. It's gonna be awesome. Big.
Caller
All right. It's gonna be fun. It's gonna be nice. We both have good jobs, so we're able to cash flow it. I probably would have set a lower budget, but she like, well, hey, we want to have something nice, and we can. I said, you know what? You're right. We can. Why wouldn't we do that, dude?
John Deloney
You're already. You're already. You're so far ahead of me. Brother, that's, that's exciting. Good for you.
Caller
She's also, I'd say she's the free spirit. She is very responsible. She has good habits. It's not blowing things out of proportion. So I think there'll be a lot of middle ground for us to be able to meet on and feel like we're both doing the right thing.
Jade Warshaw
I think you guys are going to be just fine. I think you're a good guy. I think she's a great lady and this is going to be good. John, I'll tell you, to me, one of the best things about combining finances is you align on shared goals and you get to build the trust of saying I do what I say I'm going to do and my spouse does what he says he's going to do. And that is like relational equity that is so, so powerful on down the line. And it's not just with money. It shows up when you face other hard times. You know you can depend on each other and you know you can trust each other. And that is just one of the many non financial benefits of combining your finances.
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John Deloney
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Caller
Hi.
John Deloney
How we doing?
Caller
Good. How are you today?
John Deloney
We're doing great. What's going on?
Caller
So I've been working through the baby steps. I'm on baby step number two and I'm really proud of the progress I've made. I actually keep the quote, live like no one else now so you can live like no one else later in a couple of places just so that, like, I stay focused on my long term goals.
John Deloney
Awesome.
Caller
But lately I've been struggling with feeling like whether it's worth it. I'm a single 30 year old with no kids and it's just starting to feel like I'm constantly missing out. I'm saying no to friends, family vacations, and I'm not putting myself in spaces right where I can meet people because I'm not going out. And it's just, it's getting really lonely.
Jade Warshaw
How much do you have left?
Caller
I still have about 60k in student loans. And then I'm working on my car payment now, which is sitting at about 10, so about 70 altogether.
John Deloney
How much have you paid off so far?
Caller
I was at 120 when I started. Wow.
Jade Warshaw
Way to go.
John Deloney
Halfway home, man.
Caller
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jade Warshaw
How much time? Like, what's the timeline on this? 70,000.
Caller
I probably should sit down and like remap that out.
Yes.
Because I haven't done that for a while now. But I am on year two of like working this program.
Jade Warshaw
Okay. So I love this question and hopefully I can say something that'll that'll encourage you. So my husband and I, Our timeline was 7 and a half years of paying off debt. Now granted, we were married and so I had somebody to kind of, you know, look over to when I commiserated. Fallout.
John Deloney
Yeah.
Jade Warshaw
Somebody to lament with. And yours is a little bit different, but you can find that person. I think that person's out there. But a couple of things that I just want to throw out there to you. Number one, you gotta know a timeline. I think for you, even if it's shifting and it's not the same as it was, I think every once in a while, looking up and recalculating it and recalibrating it, that just does so much for you. Anytime you can recalculate numbers and it looks a little bit better, that's going to give you a little bit of a boost. Even if it's just a little bit, oh, it's three weeks closer than it was, I think that you need to sit down and do that tonight. And anything that you can do to slightly rev up that, that, that timeline. So you calculate it out and you're like, oh man. And then you, you say, well, what would happen if I, you know, added a little side hustle on Saturday? And then suddenly you see the timeline go down a little bit. So I think you could really use the motivation that that brings. So that's thing one. And I do think that you also, in that you need to carve out a couple of milestones that you can build some rewards around. Because when you're in this thing, the average person, John, when they walk the baby steps, they're out of it in 24 months, out of baby step two, that's kind of like on average, it's like a two one and a half to two year sprint. When you're one of these people, like Chelsea or like me or John, I don't know how long was your spirit.
John Deloney
Well, I was an idiot, so it was a long time.
Jade Warshaw
But my point is, when it's longer than that one and a half to two year sprint, when you're getting into four, five, seven years, it's a beating. It's a beating. And honestly, it's not good for your mental health to say, I don't do anything. I don't go inside of a restaurant, I don't do this. So if you're a person who's beyond that timeline, you need to be thinking like, for Sam and I, it was like, okay, after a certain point, we were sleeping on an air mattress for so long, we're like, hey, we're four years in. We're buying a mattress and we're buying a. For crying out loud. Right? And then there was a, I think at the six, the six year point, we needed a new vehicle. And so we stopped paying off debt and we bought another vehicle. It was, you know, cash flowed and it wasn't, you know, overly priced. But when you're in a longer stint, you do have to be very intentional about planning. Okay, I gotta do something to keep myself going. At some points maybe it's a pizza. At some points maybe it's like I'm just gonna like, like drive to the beach and have, you know, have a good time. And I'm not going to stay more than one night in a hotel. But I'm also not going to take a flight. Right. At your fourth year. Right. So I want you to hear me on that because at that point. Yeah, you're not going to. John, you don't disappear from society for five years.
Caller
Right.
John Deloney
And Chelsea, you called something out. That's, it's, I think it's really important and I'm challenging you, but I want to, I'm challenging you like on your team. Does that make sense? What does saying no to everybody and everything. Tell me more about that.
Caller
So, okay, most recently I'll say I feel like I'm kind of like failing in my friendships where they'll be like, oh, I just need like a girls night. Like today was just so hard. Like can, you know, I get all my friends together and they want to go out for.
Jade Warshaw
No. Invite them to the crib.
Caller
And I'm like, no, I can't you guys, it's not in my budget. And so I feel like I'm failing in my friendship.
John Deloney
Okay. So I, this was like a big eye opener for me. When I'm in, I'm in the same spot you are now. Granted like, like Jade, I was married and so I had someone to be sad with, but I had some buddies who were, when I say light years ahead of me financially, I mean, comically light years ahead of me. I was there like it, it was brutal. But we just started like Monday or Tuesday nights. It, we, everyone would just clean out their fridge. And so I had some of the wealthiest people I knew at the time bringing over half eaten casseroles, a bottle of wine with like half of a glass left in it, and those ended up being magic Tuesday nights or Monday nights and everyone would just show up at the house and bring what they had. And there was times I went out and we all hung out and I drank water, I drank diet Coke or I had enough in my budget for one drink and that was it. And, and so it was like I, I, it was part of, it was like from my meal budget. Right. But it, it was not an excuse to go crazy, was not an excuse to whatever. But it also was an excuse to withdraw from society because being lonely is gonna, is gonna kill you too.
Jade Warshaw
Yeah. This is a, this is creative. Like this is just you creatively solving that problem. Cuz I'll tell you this. I think the best hangs are at the house.
John Deloney
Yes. Yes.
Jade Warshaw
You know, to your point, it's a potluck. Everybody brings a little something cuz then you're just there to chop whatever happened. Right. Your girlfriend could talk about her breakup, you could talk about what happened at work and you're just, you just want to be together. It's not about, you know, the, the, the, the egg rolls at Chili's.
John Deloney
Right.
Jade Warshaw
You know what I'm saying?
John Deloney
You'll find, you'll find now again like the folks I meet now who you might think are famous or have a big Instagram. Almost all those gatherings are hanging out at people's houses.
Jade Warshaw
Yeah.
John Deloney
People wearing shorts and T shirts and having a great, great time time. And it, it. Once you get the hang of the create like the creative. Spend time with your friends time man, you look at restaurants differently and you look at going out all night until 3am like you just look at all that differently and you actually get rejuvenated from hanging out your friends and in your situation tell people to bring over other friends that y' all haven't met yet and that can be super weird and awkward and like, oh, that guy's just eyeball like it can't. But also the research tells me that at work and a friend of a friend is a great way to meet people. In the new world now where dating has been so outsourced to apps,
Caller
I'm terrified of apps.
John Deloney
But yeah, good, good. You should be get off of them. They're nonsense. But the. But, but all to say is I don't want you to think you have to pick a life or a, or a free for all. You could absolutely be buzzing through your debt and if you have a group of friends who are right or die with you, they're going to support you. And also you can show up and just say, no, I'm drinking that coke tonight. It's all good.
Jade Warshaw
And let me also say this. I will tell you after seven and a half years of sacrifice being on the other side of that and the debt being gone and me being at different phases in my life, I never looked back John and was like, man, there was a pair of jeans I wanted back in 2013 and I never got them or there a movie that I wanted to see in the theater and I never Saw it like, I. You don't think about it like, once the time has passed, but when you're
John Deloney
40, you're 40 and you got your person and you don't owe anybody any money.
Jade Warshaw
Come on.
John Deloney
You can pay for floor seats.
Jade Warshaw
That's right.
John Deloney
The concerts, you can do it all. Yeah, you could do it right.
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John Deloney
in MLS ID 1591 in mlsconsumerexess.org equal housing lender. Let's roll out to Pensacola, Florida and talk to Monica. Hey, Monica. What's going on?
Caller
On. Hi. Thank you so much for taking my call.
John Deloney
Of course. Thanks for calling. What's going on?
Caller
I'm 47. My husband is 49. We have two teenage daughters. We make a very comfortable income. But seven years ago, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease.
John Deloney
Oh, man. I'm sorry.
Caller
Thank you.
John Deloney
How's it play out now?
Caller
I'm. Well.
I just recently stopped working.
John Deloney
Okay.
Caller
Yeah, it's starting to get a little harder. But we're technically in baby step two, cleaning up some financial messes. And my question is, so after baby step three, should we prioritize funding retirement, paying off the house, or, like, experiences with our daughters while I'm still well enough to travel and things like that?
Jade Warshaw
Yeah, all of the above. Yeah, all of the above. You know, tell me, tell me more about the baby step two. Tell me, tell me what's left to pay off.
Caller
Yeah, we have. So at the beginning of the year, I was taking a look at our finances and just realized, you know, I feel like we're treading water constantly. And so I said, I told my husband we just need to get, get rid of the stupid credit card. I hate seeing that thing. So we've paid off 7,000 in credit card debt and then we owe 39 in two. 39,000 in two car loans.
Jade Warshaw
What do you guys earn? You said you live real comfortably. What do you, what's, what's the income?
Caller
Yeah, between my husband's military retirement, his VA disability week, and then my. I was very fortunate to get a disability retirement for my employer. We earned about 26,000amonth.
Jade Warshaw
And that's never changing.
Caller
He has, I guess he has a very stable job.
John Deloney
Did you say 26k a month?
Jade Warshaw
Yeah.
Caller
Yes.
Dave Ramsey
Wow.
Jade Warshaw
So his military retirement, that portion that goes on forever and your disability will go on, right?
Caller
Correct, until I reach retirement age, which is the problem. I don't know that I will actually reach retirement age.
Jade Warshaw
Right.
Caller
And, and we have 1.2 already in retirement.
Jade Warshaw
Okay. So the good news is. Yeah, you're exactly right. You have a wonderful comfortable income coming in. There's no reason in the world that this 39, 000 in cars shouldn't be paid off off in the next couple months, like lickety split.
John Deloney
Two months.
Caller
Yep.
Jade Warshaw
You know what I mean? And I mean, yeah, you, you're used to, right, you're used to enjoying $26,000 a month, but I think you tighten the purse strings a little bit in, in several key areas and I think you can have these cars knocked out, you know, in three months and, and be rolling.
Caller
Absolutely.
Jade Warshaw
Now what about the mortgage?
Caller
It's quite high. We have 648,000 left on it.
Jade Warshaw
And what's it worth?
Caller
It's probably worth about 800. 850.
Jade Warshaw
Okay. Okay. So yeah, I think that you're in baby step three. Well, I didn't ask you, do you have any liquid cash? Surely you do.
Caller
We have some, but we've decided to throw that at the cars this start to throwing through that at the cars this month.
Jade Warshaw
And how much was that?
Caller
It was actually not as much as you would expect.
Jade Warshaw
Okay.
Caller
It was 13,000.
Jade Warshaw
Okay, so. And that cleared out your liquid cash.
Caller
Yes.
Jade Warshaw
Okay, so that's exactly right. I probably would have kept maybe a thousand, but you guys have such a great monthly income. Next check, just pull out a thousand dollars, keep it aside for baby step one. And yeah, keep checking away at this, these two car loans right quick. Then you're quickly going to save up three to six months of expenses. In your case, I would do six Months of emergency expenses. And then from there, yeah, my whole entire goal would be, of course, we're investing 15%. Of course, we're putting aside a little bit for college. But John, I would set a vacation and experiences fund for sure. And I would just fill that bad boy up. You guys have a lot of expendable cash and yeah, I would do it up. I would have a great time. Because as long as you're doing the things that, that cause you to be a financially responsible adult. Adult, which you are in the process of doing. And that checklist is, it's five things. If you're a person who is living on a budget, which it sounds like you could tighten yours up quite a bit. If you're a person who is debt free and prioritizing being debt free. If you're a person who carries the proper insurances. If you're a person who is prioritizing savings in the way of having your baby. Step three, making sure that you're putting away for, you know, 15 for retirement, putting extra on your house. Right. Your home is a forced savings account. And finally, if you're prioritizing generosity as long as you're in that land, then, yeah, start putting money aside. And yeah, I think that you do need to enjoy life. There are certain things that jump right to the top of the list. You know what I'm saying?
John Deloney
And, and Monica, I, I've had the fortune of sitting with a lot of folks who lost loved ones over the years. Okay. And I, again, this is, this is anecdote Total. So take it for what you want. But I heard, I've heard people talking about, in their grief about the trip they took. One time me and my husband did X, Y or Z or one time me. And I've heard that some. But man, the things I hear over and over again are the meals and the really hard laughs. And so as you're thinking through this, this idea you have of shared experiences, of course, y' all talk about the vacations y' all want to go on and the, I call them the funeral stories, right? Like the one time we all went to Italy or whatever the thing is y' all want to do. But a really valuable way to just extract the soul out of the life you have going for you. That's. That's left, right, Is schedule a weekly breakfast with your, with your kids. One on one. One schedule a, A time that, like they're going to tell that story that mom after seven years, right? And then the next 10 years as this, as this challenging Disease slowly took over. We went to breakfast every week, and she always got the same weird pancakes. And I always tried something like, those are the stories. Right?
Caller
Right.
John Deloney
And so think of the big things, but invest in the little things. And here's the beauty of those little things. They're. They're relatively inexpensive financially. They come at a cost to time and intentionality and planning, but, man, they don't cost a lot of money. And then when the big concert comes to town, good grief, you better go and be on the front row screaming with all you got. Right. Because you'll have the. You'll have the resources to do that.
Caller
Yeah.
Oh, my gosh. Thank you. In.
John Deloney
In. Be careful about it. Sounds bananas to most of our listeners because they're sitting here going, you make 26 grand a month. That's what comes in your house. But you know as well as I do that can just slip through your fingers. So Jade's wisdom on make sure you're budgeting and you're intentional with this money, y' all will be astonished at how much you actually have. Yeah, y' all can be out of debt here, like completely consumer debt. And then ask the hard question. You and your husband go on a. On a one day retreat and just say, hey, what do we want the next five to 10 years to look like? Do we need an $850,000 house or do we want to downsize? Kids are about to go to college. Do you want to go ahead and sell now? Or we got a quarter million dollars equity in this thing and get a smaller place so that we can spend more intentional time together and not have a mortgage. Right. Things like those kind of, what do we want our life to look like the next five years, next 10 years is probably long for you, but. But next five years, next three years. Right. Have that dreaming conversation and set that thing in motion.
Caller
Yeah. Thank you.
John Deloney
And will you do me a huge favor for. For your. It's not doing me a favor at all. It's doing it for your kids. Will you make a regular practice? Once every six months or so, put on the calendar to write them a letter. And if slowly, this Parkinson's takes your writing hand, speak it, record it, write your kids a letter, tell them how proud of them you are. Write your husband a letter and read it to him. Don't let anything go unsaid. Just cherish the moments you got. It was an honor to talk to you. You're a saint. We'll be right back.
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John Deloney
Welcome back to the Ramsey show in the Fair WINS Credit Union Studio. I'm John Deloney joined by Jade Warshaw. This is the Ramsey Show. Let's go out to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and talk to Madison. What up, Madison?
Caller
Hey, thanks for answering my call.
John Deloney
Of course. Thanks for calling. What's going on?
Caller
All right. My question essentially is do we save up for a new car or a new house? Our situation is we just moved cross country. Me, my husband and our two kids. Under two years old.
Old.
Both of our cars are old and about to croak and we're currently renting and I've never owned a house before. So we're trying to figure out what to do with our assets.
Jade Warshaw
How much cash do you have saved?
Caller
We have about 16,000 of liquid cash. Like, that's kind of like our emergency fund slash available spending money.
Jade Warshaw
Well, wait a second now. Thank you. It can't be both. So. So just real quick, and then I want. You know what, why don't you go ahead and finish talking and then I'll come back to that.
Caller
My husband's the one who mainly manages financing. That's why I said that way.
Oh, no.
John Deloney
Strike two. Madison.
Jade Warshaw
Keep going. Keep going.
Caller
I'm sorry.
John Deloney
No, we're playing. Don't be sorry. We're playing with you.
Caller
I know. 14,000 in a 401k. We've got 2,500 in stocks that my husband manages is zero debt. Two cars that we own outright. And then my husband, he just took a new job. And the base salary is going to be 70,000 a year with bonuses.
Jade Warshaw
Cool.
Caller
Kind of the financial situation we have right now.
Jade Warshaw
And you're home with littles.
Caller
Yes. Yes.
Jade Warshaw
Okay. Yeah. Hey, kudos on not having any debt. I think that's fabulous. How old are you guys?
Caller
I am 24 and he's 26.
Jade Warshaw
Yes, absolutely. So good. Zero debt. Here's where I'm going to give you good news and bad news. Which one would you like first?
Caller
Well, good news then. Hit me with the bad news.
Jade Warshaw
The good news is you're so far ahead of so many people your age because you don't have any debt. You have a fully funded emergency fund. You've got a little bit working in your 401k, and that's a fabulous, fabulous, fabulous place to be.
John Deloney
And you got two healthy little kids and a husband that likes you.
Jade Warshaw
And a husband that's. That's, you know, he's got his job cooking. He's starting to take off.
John Deloney
You're winning.
Jade Warshaw
Yes. So that's. Please plant that as a very good seed in your brain because the bad news is you're not really in a position to do either of the things that either of them that you said. And you're not far off. It's just. I want to reframe that. So the. Let's talk about the emergency fund. The way we teach in the way that I experience it and what I do in my life and what John does in his life is, is we set aside money for an emergency fund. And that means we don't touch this money unless it is a flat out emergency. Which means it has to meet a little bit of criteria to be discerned as an emergency. It has to be completely unexpected, like, oh, my gosh, I didn't know this was gonna happen. This came out the blue. It needs to be urgent, like, oh, I gotta do this, like, immediately. And it has to be completely necessary, like, I must do this thing. So here's what's going on in your mind. I must do this thing today that I had no clue was going to happen. Like, that's how it goes. And so obviously buying a new car or a new house doesn't fall underneath that, per those parameters. So the good news is you are in a position that today you could begin saving up money to do either of the things that you think is. Is more pertinent, whether it's, man, one of these cars is literally like on its last leg. Let's start saving up $10,000 or whatever amount of money you think you want to spend. No more than your vehicle should be. No more than half of his annual income. But you could start to do that. But I wouldn't be in a huge rush to buy a house.
John Deloney
No, no, no. And. And Madison, how old are your kids?
Caller
They're both under two. So one's like a year and a half. One is three months old.
John Deloney
Wild west, you've probably already experienced this, but if you haven't, as a father of two kids, sitting next to a woman who's also got her own two kids, kids, I can guarantee you they will use this emergency fund. They will break things, they will set things on fire. They will destroy, like, all of it. Right?
Jade Warshaw
Y.
John Deloney
And so please, please, please give yourself, your nervous system, your home, your marriage, the safety that is having that 16 grand in the bank that we don't touch.
Jade Warshaw
Touch.
Caller
Okay?
John Deloney
Just pretend like it's not there. The second thing is, I want you to give your nervous system your spirit, the peace it needs and deserves by not just outsourcing the finances to, quote unquote, the finance guy in the house. Y' all need to do this thing together. You need to know where the accounts are. You need to know what bills are paying. Y' all need to be on the same page with your vision for things. Things. The third thing is, I know, I've been there. I wanted my wife to have the nicest car possible when we had little ones. The reality is y' all can't afford the nicest car, and that's okay. And so even if y' all save up the money, buy a 10 grand car or a 15 grand car, not a $45,000 car, because you're building something together. And a depreciating asset won't get you there. Right.
Jade Warshaw
I'd say no more than 50, 15,000 each. Like, if you have a car, yours is 15. If he has a car, his is 15. That totals 30. That puts you at that parameter.
John Deloney
And can I ask you. Can I ask you a personal, personal question?
Caller
Yeah, sure.
John Deloney
I'm super okay being wrong. I'm wrong. A lot. The folks on Reddit tell me that. But here's the thing. I'm finishing up a long multi year project and something that kept coming up in my conversations with stay at home moms, especially young stay at home moms, was this. This feeling of I need to do something, I should be. It's that phrase, I should be in a house, I should be driving a nicer car. I'm not providing any economic value to the house because I don't make a salary. So I need to be. Fill in the Blank. And it just this sense of this built up, pent up energy that got spent looking for homes we couldn't afford, looking for houses we should probably buy. Reading all these blogs telling me why I'm failing at this version of motherhood or that version of wifehood or whatever. Is that your situation at all?
Caller
No, I would, I wouldn't say so. I grew up with a stay at home mom. My husband did. We're not flashy people. We, we drive older, older cars. We just know that we've been so bold, blessed and we're like hyper aware of the head start we were given and we want to make sure our kids have the same thing. So it's kind of like, what can we do to like to be good stewards now? So
John Deloney
the tortoise wins every time. Every time you read that book, the tortoise wins.
Jade Warshaw
And all your stuff you have, it's kind of like if there were like different containers that you needed to fill up. You've got a little bit in each container that's ready to grow and ready to keep going. Like you've got a little bit in your 401k, keep doing that. You know, keep putting 15 at this point, you're on baby step four, right? So keep 15 of your husband's gross income every single month into that 401k.
John Deloney
Maybe husband sells his 2500 in stock that he's playing with and that's the seed for your new car.
Jade Warshaw
Exactly, exactly. And yeah, just keep working away at it. And once you've funded the cars that you think you need, then yeah, I would start and I would kind of go back to 3B and I, which is saving for the down payment of your house. And if you want to do that at the same time as you're investing, you can. Or if you want to unplug investing for two to three years, you can unplug your investing that 15%. You could stop that and put that towards your house fund for a little while.
John Deloney
And Jade, I don't know about you, but there's been times that my wife and I save up for a car and we get that chunk of money and there. And we're both like, hey, the cars are fine, let's put that on the house. Or let's put that on. Like once you get that big pile of cash, it's hard just to go throw it at a car sometimes.
Jade Warshaw
True that.
Dave Ramsey
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John Deloney
to remain active on Boost Mobile unlimited plan. Let's go out to the atl, Atlanta, Georgia and talk to Hannah. Where is Hannah? Here, I'm trying to find her on the thing. Here it is. Oh, line two. What's up, Hannah?
Caller
Hey, how are y' all doing?
John Deloney
Great, how are you?
Caller
I'm doing well. Thank you so much for taking my call.
John Deloney
You got it. What's on? Going on?
Caller
Okay, so I just need some guidance with the situation that I have found myself in. My husband, We've been married 10 years next month. And in January, he very abruptly shut down his small business permanently after about three years after he did that, I found out a few days after he decided to do that that he was in deep financial trouble with the business. Somewhere between 100,000 to 250,000 dol is a rough guess that I have. And then found out yesterday that we are about $4,200 behind on our mortgage. We are about with the business and all about $40,000 behind in taxes. I got a notice that the water would be shut off today. And yesterday got a call that he had about $7,000 owed in a credit card that I didn't know about. And two, I'm sorry, my voice is shaking and I am home with our three children. He left two days ago to attend the police academy and it's completely inaccessible until next week.
Wow.
John Deloney
So that shaking in your voice, that terror inside your chest, it's right. Okay, hear me say this. You're not crazy.
Caller
Okay.
John Deloney
We call this here financial infidelity. The. The trust that was the foundation of your marriage has been turned to ash. Okay? So you feel like you're free fall and you Are. All right, so here. Here us say that we're with you. Okay.
Caller
Okay.
John Deloney
This is a scary, scary situation.
Caller
I would also like to throw in here that about a year and a half into our marriage, a very similar circumstance happened. Very similar to what I'm saying. And we worked through all of that, and then about four years later, it happened again.
John Deloney
Oh, no.
Caller
And worked through it again.
Jade Warshaw
And is it him starting. It's him starting businesses and them failing, or it's just some sort of a.
Caller
It's not the first time.
Yeah.
It's just like he had two cars with car loans that I didn't know about, and then multiple credit cards I didn't know about, and a lot of purchases and money owed and just. It's been a pattern for our entire marriage.
Jade Warshaw
Does he shut you out of knowing about the finances, or is he just going. Is he saying, here's the account that we're spending money on and you know everything that's going on with that? But then he goes to the side and just does. Obviously God knows what. Or are you pretty much like, I'm out of everything
Caller
now? I'm pretty much out of everything because he was using the business account for all of our personal finances, which I'm not on any of.
Jade Warshaw
And how did you have money to spend?
Caller
He would transfer money into our personal checking account, which I had a debit card for.
John Deloney
Oh, geez. And what?
Jade Warshaw
Just a little bit a month for you to do what you needed to do.
Caller
Anytime that I needed to purchase anything, the picture was painted, that we had a ton of money. And so if I wanted to go for a shopping day or book a trip or anything at all, it was not a big deal at all.
Jade Warshaw
He would just slide it over to you.
John Deloney
Okay, here's what I want you to do today. I have a feeling in my guts that this is not the bottom of. Of the mess,
Caller
that there's more out there, unfortunately.
John Deloney
Okay, I want you to pull your credit report, and if you are able to pull his, get his, too, and at least get a picture. And if you can't pull his, I don't want you to commit fraud, but I want that to be the first thing when you all are able to communicate.
Caller
Okay.
John Deloney
Because you're in a. You've got three little ones. You need to focus on four walls ASAP because they're about to take your house. They're about to take your. Shut your water off. You're about to shut your electricity off. Right? You're in. You're in a five Alarm fire right now. Do you have access to any cash at all?
Caller
Before he left, he gave me about
$500 in cash, but there's no money
John Deloney
in a checking account or anything.
Caller
I think there's about a hundred dollars in our checking account.
John Deloney
Oh, my gosh.
Jade Warshaw
Do you have, do you have family nearby?
Caller
Yes, I do. I do. Sorry.
Jade Warshaw
That's mom and dad or sisters and brothers? What is it?
Caller
Just my mom and dad.
Jade Warshaw
Okay, here's what I'm thinking about. And John, jump in. At any point you've been a stay at home mom, have you, have you been in the workforce at all at any point?
Caller
Yes, I'm a registered nurse, but I decided to stay at home with our children for a little while.
Jade Warshaw
Okay, fabulous. Because my brain goes to. If you have to exit the situation, how can you stay on your feet? How can you keep yourself afloat? Because it sounds like there's gonna be a lot of there. If this comes to a point where it goes before a judge, all of this is going to come out and it's, it's going to be a lot more there.
John Deloney
Yeah.
Jade Warshaw
And I just want to make sure you're okay. And so for me, it's great that if you have family, community, friends around you that can help you for a season of time if you need it. And I love that you have a career path. If you have to go back to work and if kids, gosh, end up having to go to daycare or something like that. I feel confident after hearing what you said, said that you'd be able to make that transition.
John Deloney
Yeah.
Jade Warshaw
Do you?
Caller
Yeah.
John Deloney
The reality is you need to come up with $5,500 like today.
Caller
Okay.
John Deloney
I mean, you've got to write down and you might call the mortgage company and tell them what's going on, that you're just getting notice of this and you're going to try to make it right. And just let them know I'm. I'm a terrified, scared stay at home mom. My husband's at the police academy and I'm just getting all these notices is.
Caller
Right.
John Deloney
And I would write down and they'd be my first call. Since you're behind 4,200 bucks, I don't know if. Is that two months or three months? How far behind is that?
Caller
I. I think it's about two months plus fees.
John Deloney
Okay. I would call them and just let them know, I hear you. I see this. I'm just getting this like y' all are, and I need to come up with a plan here. And they might Give you an extension or a plan. I don't know the, the, the terms of your mortgage. I don't know your relationship with your mortgage company. And then I would write down what's the. What's the electric bill behind.
Caller
Are you.
John Deloney
What's the water bill like? These four walls we talk about, do you have transportation? Do you have electricity? Do you've got water? Do you have a home? Do you have food? Right. And you're at that level and it might be that. I don't even think might be. I think you're at a position now. This is scary enough that you need to call your family and say, hey, I got to go start applying for nursing jobs this afternoon. But even then, you won't get a paycheck for another month at the earliest.
Caller
Right.
John Deloney
So. But it's like I need to drop my kids off starting now. And none of this is what you plan. None of this is what you wanted, but this is. You're a scared. Basically a scared single mom who's in a big, big, big mess because you were betrayed by your husband again and again and again. And so this is just choosing reality. We'll grieve later. We will be sad later. We'll be mad and angry later. I gotta go get some money right now, and I would hate for you to run down to the credit union and see if you get another loan because that's the last thing you'll need is yet another pile on. Right?
Jade Warshaw
Yeah. The good news is you. You probably have the cash to keep the water on. You probably have, you know, some food in the house, keep some groceries going. My question, and I'm not trying to get dramatic, you know for a fact that he went to police academy of me. Like he's coming back?
Caller
Yes.
Jade Warshaw
You have contact with him? Okay. I'm trying to make sure he didn't. Didn't skip out, but, I mean, that's
John Deloney
going to be a $50,000 year job, right?
Caller
I hope so. I think so.
John Deloney
I mean, not. Not while he's in academy. It'll probably be much less than that until he gets out. But even, Even then, that's not going to cover this mess y' all are in.
Caller
No.
John Deloney
Right.
Caller
And I don't know the fullness kind of what you were saying about going before a judge and all of that, but he has had some police reports filed, and I've had people locate me on Facebook to try and remedy some business things going on. So someone suggested I get security cameras at my house.
John Deloney
So it might be time for you to. Yeah, to go stay with your family members and leave the house for a bit bit and not. I'm going to ask you to do that. I want you to go stay with your family members, step out of this situation for a minute and I want you to call an attorney and they'll walk you through getting to the bottom of the mess. So sorry you're going through this.
Dave Ramsey
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John Deloney
Yo. We get thousands of calls and emails for folks trying to be on the show. We wish we could get to every call and question here. But if you have a money question and you want an answer for your situation, head over to our website and use Ask Ramsey. Ask Ramsey is our free AI tool that's built and trained on this show. It's got proven Ramsey principles that will answer some of your money questions and get you where you need to go. You'll get an answer the same way we'd answer it right here on the show. Ask your question today@ramseysolutions.com or just click the link in the description if you're listening on podcast and you YouTube squad to Lexington, Kentucky and talk to Lisa. Hey, what's up Lisa?
Caller
Hi, how are you all doing? Thank you so much for taking my call.
John Deloney
You bet. Thanks for calling. What's going on?
Caller
Yeah. So how do my husband and I have the conversation or should we try to have a second conversation with my father in law about the importance of getting life insurance? Just a little backstory. He's the sole income earner for their family. My mother in law has been a stay at home mom for the last 20 some odd years and my brother in law who has some disabilities and is unable to work, lives with Them as well. My father in law, he's kind of of the impression that, you know, you can always get it later, it's not important right now. Just doesn't have a good opinion on it. And so as me and my husband, we have life insurance, we see the value of it. My mother in law, she was like, hey, tell me about life insurance. What should I be looking for? What should I not be looking for? And so we're not just wanting to give unsolicited advice. So just how do we have a second conversation or how should we approach the subject?
John Deloney
Well, it sounds like there's two things going on. One is mom is feeling exposed, I'm worried about dad. And then dad is saying, I don't really care if she feels exposed. I'm not doing this.
Caller
Yeah, they don't have any consumer debt, they just have their mortgage. She said that they were looking, they've been shopping for life insurance. They have a person that's looking for them and they brought up the idea of mortgage insurance. But the value that they were being told and, and that he's convinced about, you know, it's not even going to cover their mortgage.
John Deloney
Well, yeah, and the problem, the problem with that is you still have a stay at home mom and a special needs son.
Jade Warshaw
They need.
Caller
Incorrect.
John Deloney
Right. So I'll tell you, this is going to sound like an ad, but I was using Xander insurance for my term life insurance for my, me and my wife for years before I even thought about coming over to R.A. ramsey because I trust him. And then when I got to Ramsey, Xander's who we endorse and who we've been talking about for years and years and years. But that's where I would go. And Xander tops. This is like a commercial Xander. They shop all of the top companies and, or many of the top companies to find you the best price. They work for you, not for the insurance companies. And so they're going to bring you, here's how much money you got, here's how old you are, here's how expensive it's going to be, here's the price. And depending on his age and all that, it's going to factor into it. But that's where. Not where I would go, that's where I did go.
Jade Warshaw
Yeah, I would bring your husband into this.
John Deloney
Yeah, it's his conversation to have with it.
Caller
Yeah, he's fully in it. He had a conversation with his father and his father kind of like he blew up and he got mad about it and he was saying that, you know, it's only greedy people that have life insurance. And he believes that it's just like crackpot idea. And we're like. But no, it's like because you love people and because you want to make sure that the people that you care about, you know, as you all say, like, you want to solve for pain, pace. You want to make sure they have pace when they're grieving. Right. You don't want to add to it.
John Deloney
I've sat with people who lost their husbands and they've got nothing. And they're looking at going to work on Monday.
Caller
Right.
John Deloney
I mean, it's a harrowing experience sitting with a widow who realizes, oh, we got nothing. This kind of like, I'm gonna be honest with you, this kind of ego in older men pisses me off at a way I, I can't even comprehend because they're gonna bleep me because the show's on the rad. So mad at this kind of arrogance and ego and dismissiveness of your wife, your special need kids. Like, it makes me infuriated. But here's the deal. Y' all can't do anything about it.
Caller
Yeah.
Jade Warshaw
And I, I'm just curious because, you know, if Ken were here, he would say to just ask questions instead of, instead of saying, you need to do this, you need to do that. A couple of well placed and well thought through questions that you just let hang in the air when you say, okay, okay, if the worst happens, dad, and you know, on the way home, you get in an accident, how is mom going to pay the mortgage? How are, you know, I don't know what the brother in law's name. How, how are we going to take care of little Bobby? How are we going to. I'm just wondering what your plan for that is. Or have you considered what your plan for that is. Right. Maybe come up with one or two questions that, that your son can ask, ask at the right time. With dad, it's not in the middle of a heated argument. It's not, you know, when they're already talking about one thing. And now he brings us up to it's. They go to breakfast, they go out, just the two of them, and at the right time, he says, you know, we've had a lot of questions, we've had a lot of conversations about this. I'm just wondering, you know, and he asks the two questions and just let it sits there, sit there, and his
John Deloney
dad might look at, at him and say, say she's going to be your problem. Right.
Caller
That may happen yeah.
Jade Warshaw
And then to which he can say, no, that's not an option. You're going to have to come up with something.
John Deloney
But I mean.
Caller
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we, like, we, me and my husband are both firstborn kids. Like, my, my mom currently lives with us, you know, so we've, we've kind of taken that on ourselves. We're both very financially stable, so, like, we've, we've kind of prepared, I guess, ourselves for that. You know, if we do have to take care of my husband's mom as well, like, sure, we would be able to, but again, you know, like, I
Jade Warshaw
want them to take care of themselves,
Caller
her husband, you know.
John Deloney
Well, and here's the deal. It's, it's just, it's choosing reality.
Caller
Yeah, right.
John Deloney
We, it should be. And he's looking at y' all and saying, looking at his wife and saying, nope, not going to. Which again, I just cannot wrap my head around that kind of ignorance and ego. But it is what it is. So we're going to choose reality and we're going to start making that play control. And I think you've got a, a tiny crack in the door in that mom asked for it. So I'm going to give Mom Xander contact for term life insurance. Do not, do not, do not buy some nonsensical whole life policy.
Caller
I've been listening to you all long enough.
Jade Warshaw
Yeah. You know, it, you know the deal.
John Deloney
Yeah. We're going to send, send it on to them and we're going to go from there.
Jade Warshaw
Let me tell you something, John. I, I, I'm, I'm getting frustrated because I feel like the number, the, the top two calls that we've been getting late lately and it, and I'm not, I'm not picking on men. I'm just telling you what I'm getting. The top two calls are a wife who calls in and her husband is either locking her out of the money, doing something shady with the money. She's kind of been, you know, removed little by little from the situation and now like, all hell is breaking loose or it's families who, the parents cannot get their act together and they're leaving and burdening their, their children, children with things that they should be taking care of themselves as adult grown people with grown jobs and grown houses. And I'm just like, what is going on? Yeah, get your life together. Get your act together. What's going on? Like, that's my question for, for the heads of families here, is what are y' all doing? You need to get Yourself together.
John Deloney
I can't wrap my head around, I mean I can't, I'm gonna sound like a broken record. I can't get my head around the arrogance and the dis. I mean I can.
Jade Warshaw
Your daughter in law should not have to call into a national YouTube and radio show saying he doesn't care enough about his own wife to take out coverage that's going to cost him, I don't know, 300 bucks a quarter.
John Deloney
My father in law has such deep seated arrogance that when his son came to him he blew up and threw a third grade temper tank tantrum because he couldn't handle a hard conversation with his son.
Jade Warshaw
Well that's the through line is arrogance. It's arrogance on both, both of those spectrums.
John Deloney
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And by the way, for folks listening the previous segment we had a caller, her name was Hannah and talking about the financial mess and multiple issues. And as we, as the call kept going on and on and on, she brought up issues of personal safety and maybe she needs to get security cameras. I want everyone listening to know off air air. We obviously circle back and providing her with some resources and we'll do our due diligence when it comes to paying for financial coaching for her and things like that but also with contacting local police and authorities because a, a woman with three young kids does not need to be worrying about should I go get security cameras because the mess that my awful terrible husband has left me in his now jeopardy. Our safety. So just know listeners, we're taking care of folks behind closed doors too. We're not going to leave people hanging. Fathers, husbands, take care of your families. That's how low the bar is. We'll be right back. Welcome back, Jade. My blood pressure's still up.
Jade Warshaw
Listen, mine is too. But you know, at the end of the last segment we kind of went in on like dads, men need to step up. But let me also say for the ones that do because that it's such a blessing. And we were talking over the break, I was telling him about something that Sam, my husband did that it's like just showing up, just doing the best you can and if you do have, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm totally taking this from you. If you do have a man in your life that is a real man, like doing the best he can, leading for the family financially, you know, doing all the transparent, please tell him please go home today and be like thank you, thank you for being, being the opposite of what Sometimes calls into the Ramsey show. We need men like that. We need leaders like that we're grateful for. You keep doing what you do.
John Deloney
And I'll just say, for my brothers out there, the bar is so low. Show up. Like, just show up. Show up. When she calls and says, hey, what's the. I got you. I got it.
Jade Warshaw
Yeah, I got it. And it. It's just.
Caller
Yeah.
John Deloney
Put your ego aside, man. And by the way, when you set your ego down, down, life is so much more fun. It's so much more fun.
Jade Warshaw
Yes. To just let somebody see who you really are.
John Deloney
Yes. That's all I'll say. All right, let's roll out to Atlanta. Let's go back to Atlanta and talk to Chelsea. What's up, Chelsea?
Caller
Hello. Thank you for having me on.
John Deloney
Thanks for calling. What's going on?
Caller
Yes, I'll go ahead and just back you up and say that we are in a positive marriage, a very great marriage. And Chelsea, what's his name? Financial experience.
Jade Warshaw
Good.
John Deloney
His name?
Caller
Forest.
Jade Warshaw
Shout out.
John Deloney
Forest. Shout out.
Jade Warshaw
That's what I'm talking about.
John Deloney
Shout out. Good men on this show. All right, so what's going on? How can we help?
Caller
Yeah, so we've been working through the baby steps. We've paid off all of our debt. We have our emergency fund created. We jumped ahead and already have five to nine going for our two children. And we have a third on the way. Thank you. But yeah. So we're on baby step four, technically, with the investments, trying to save 15%. And I guess I'll ask the question and kind of explain, but my overall question is, does it ever make sense to work on baby step number six in the mortgage before completing the 15% for investments?
John Deloney
Oh, you're talking my language. Go ahead.
Jade Warshaw
Why is that? Tell me the reason behind it.
Caller
So it makes sense in my head, but it always does. I'm a stay at home mom, but I also do freelance marketing. So I'm bringing in about 2,500amonth. And then my husband makes about 125,000 a year with his company. He has a 401k 4% match that he participates in. He also has an ESPP company stock program. So he puts 10% away to that every or every month or every paycheck. But then every six months, he gets a 15% discount for the company stock if you were to sell it.
John Deloney
How quickly does that.
Caller
Previous years. Sorry.
John Deloney
How quickly does that vest.
Caller
I'm not sure. Okay, so I'm not sure if I understand that question.
John Deloney
Sometimes with stock Option purchases. When you're able to buy stock from the company, you have to sit on it for 24 months before you can turn around and sell. Sell it. Sometimes you can buy it and then sell it the next day. Usually if you're buying at a discount. They don't let you do that though.
Caller
Okay. Yeah. So it's every six months. So he participates in it. Every paycheck takes 10%. And then it's every July 1st and every January 1st you can sell it for a 15% discount.
Jade Warshaw
Okay, so here's.
Caller
And that does have capital gains tax, if this is maybe answering your question.
John Deloney
Well, I don't care about that. How much is in that account right now?
Caller
Right now there's about 15,000, I think.
John Deloney
Okay.
Caller
So here's generally this has been our house project fund as how, you know, we had to get new sighting, we had a new deck.
John Deloney
Okay.
Caller
Things that would help us not go into debt if we use this. But now our house is at a good place. So we're thinking it's either investment or putting it to the house.
Jade Warshaw
Well, I think you've just got to. I think you've got to recalibrate on your investing because you've got 10% going towards a single stock, a single company stock, which is not what we would suggest. I hear you on the 4%, 401k. So you're investing 4% there. Your company is matching it. I would not put the other 10% in the company stock. I would put the other 10% in the 401k.
Caller
Even if it's a very good. Well known.
Jade Warshaw
Yes, even if it is.
Caller
Because I don't know if I shouldn't drop it.
John Deloney
No, don't drop the name.
Jade Warshaw
But a good investment is diversified.
John Deloney
Yeah. And I'll tell you right now, I just, I just had this with a close personal friend of mine. Got a stock option windfall of 225 a year ago. And I said it was a single stock and it was this whole. You could move it over here and. And I said, hey, cash it out now. Sell it. And they said, are you crazy? We're making these investments and this is a global company company. That person just recently called, we were talking on the phone and said, bro, that Stock is at 160 now. Should have listened to you. And so doesn't matter how good they're telling you it's good. We're doing this and we're stable. When you're sitting on a single stock,
Jade Warshaw
there's no checks and balances.
John Deloney
Yeah, it's just up or down. And I, I have a personal lived experience. My mom, we're. I worked at this tiny little company called Enron, which I think was the fourth biggest company on the planet. And it went away over a weekend. Right. And so I am big on. If you get one single company stock and they give you a deal to buy on it, great. And the moment you can invest it, cash it out, and either put it in retirement or use it to pay down your house or whatever, but get out of that stock. Because just holding it and holding it, a single stock with all that money. Money, man, you are playing roulette.
Jade Warshaw
Yeah. If I could, if I could recalibrate this today, I would make it to where you're investing the 10% along with the other 4% into the company. 401K. And, you know, if you max that out, then you can move over to a Roth ira. You can do one, he can do one. And then if there's a little bit of money left or if there's, you know, something that he's required to do, that's fine. But I would change that lickety split between. Because you don't want all of your money tied up in this. And if you're, if you're saying, well, we're still investing in the 401k, you're only investing 4%. And our rule here is if there's a match, it's a fantastic thing. But we really just consider that gravy. Like, we really want you working the muscle of 15%, because what if he switches jobs and there is not a 4% match? Right. Or what if something changes with your, you know, your situation? So we always want you kind of in the driver seat of what you're doing with your money. And, yeah, consider that 4% like gravy on top of a biscuit, is what Dave Ramsey would say.
John Deloney
How much do you have left on your mortgage?
Caller
So we have 252,000 left on the mortgage. And we are also, I should say, we put $100 a month. I know it's not much, but $100 a month to his personal IRA as well.
Jade Warshaw
Okay.
Caller
And then overall investments, we probably have over about 200,000 thousand in all of our investments right now.
Jade Warshaw
Are you putting that in a traditional IRA or a Roth IRA?
Caller
A Roth.
Jade Warshaw
Okay, 200.
John Deloney
Does that include the stock and the, the stock you have on the side, the 15,000?
Caller
Yeah.
John Deloney
Okay.
Caller
All right.
Jade Warshaw
Yeah. You know, if I were you, whatever company stock you do have, I'm with John. I would you know, cash that out, maybe that goes towards your mortgage or
John Deloney
that goes in your Roths and you can max them both out this year and call it like I, I, because here's what it sounds like you're doing. It sounds like you're putting in 4% of your own money into a, a retirement vehicle and then you're taking what you know, approximately the, the rest of the 15% and you're just putting it into a stock and you are using that stock as, as like kind of like a glorified emergency fund is to deal with house stuff.
Caller
Right. Which we're done with now and we want to do well with it. So even if, even if we didn't do the ESPP at this point though, I think maybe my question might still like stand if I can ask that
Jade Warshaw
to the original one about paying off the mortgage first.
Caller
Yes. Just because thinking about even if we did the 10% just to regular either 401k or the Roth IRA, we would still need about $400 a month from our budget somewhere in order to hit the 15%.
Jade Warshaw
That's right.
Caller
Right. And I don't know where we would exactly get it right now.
Like there would be.
Jade Warshaw
Yeah.
Caller
Pennies and whatnot.
Jade Warshaw
Yeah, definitely. And, and you might have to pinch pennies. So one thing about the baby steps is just because you've paid off your debt and now you're starting to invest, it doesn't mean that you're all of a sudden rolling in a bunch of extra money. Cuz you're now investing 15%. So you're going to have to get to your budget and take a look at this. Because what I don't want is for you to say, ah, it feels better to do to pay off the mortgage instead. And before you know it, you look up and you've neglected your investing. The mortgage is going to get paid off. You're going to find little bits of money here and there. I'm sure he makes bonuses that you can pay this off.
John Deloney
Welcome back to the Ramsey show and the Fair Winds Credit Union studio. I'm John Deloney Jones joined by the world famous Jade Warshaw. Taking your calls on your money, your life, your relationships, everything. 888-825-5225. Let's go out to Fort Worth, Texas and talk to Allison. Hey Allison, what's going on?
Caller
Hi Dr. John. Hey Jade. How are you guys?
John Deloney
We're doing awesome. What's up?
Caller
Well, I've found the Ramsey information somewhat recently so I'll although we're in a pretty Good spot financially. I really appreciate that. It's prompted me to kind of look
at our whole financial picture and realize that we need to go back and
readjust some things or fill in some gaps.
So thank you for all that you do with that.
John Deloney
Very cool. Welcome to the cult. Welcome.
Caller
And I realize I have a question about 529 that I haven't heard you guys address before.
Okay.
We have opened up a 529 account for each of our kids and they were young, young.
And we've been very blessed that each
set of grandparents wants to help us
save for the kids college.
One set of grandparents will make contributions directly to the 529s that we have opened and the other set of grandparents has opened their own account for each child.
John Deloney
Nice. Okay, nice.
Caller
And I'm unsure of, is there any kind of logistical.
John Deloney
I'm going to set you free. Are you ready?
Caller
Sure.
John Deloney
I'm going to set you free. It's their money and they're choosing to do it that way. And so I would open my hands to it and I would get with my spouse and plan as though that money won't be there.
Caller
Okay.
John Deloney
Because fighting them over it, like get like it just is that way. And for whatever reason, that's why how they've chosen to do it with their money. And I would just say great, cool.
Jade Warshaw
Well, I don't think it's a bad thing.
John Deloney
No, it's not. But it's just how they're doing it and trying to talk to them about it or discuss it about it just is what that is. I don't know though, Jade. I don't know the logistics of can, can a grandparent open a 529 for a kid and a parent open a 529 for a kid and both of those accounts be used to pay for the same kid? I don't know the answer that question.
Jade Warshaw
So like the way that ours is, my, my mother in law opened it because it was a g. It was something she was gifting before Sam and I, well before we were out of debt. And then so she technically was the owner on the account and then she set up me and my husband as like we would be the owner in succession. Like if she died or something, we'd become the owner. But we all have access. We can all add money into the account and then the kids are set up as the beneficiaries, officiary. So that's just kind of the way it's been. And I, I don't know if we transferred it at some point into our name, but I think it's still in her name. And it doesn't matter because she's not using it. She's, you know, 63 years old.
John Deloney
And Allison, I gotta tell you, I'm super biased. I worked at universities for like 20 years. And so the number of students I met with and parents I met with who had a grandparent parent holding a checkbook saying, my kids, my grandkids going to study X, Y, or Z and they're not going to be in this program and they're going to go to this school, man. I was just like, dude, if anyone wants to tell, like, try to play puppeteer over my life with their checkbook, I'm out. And so I take my bias for what it is, right? If they hold this account, just assume it's their money and they're going to want to steward it how they best see fit. And that might be turning it over to the parents and saying, where? Wherever Junior wants to go to college. That's awesome. Or whatever Junior wants. Trade school or whatever wants to study, great. But they might use it as, no, no, my grandkids going to this school if they want my money. And you can say, cool, We've already made other arrangements. So my answer has a big bias to it. But that just is what it is.
Jade Warshaw
Which that would be. I mean, if they did that. Listen, we've heard all sorts of calls on this radio, so anything's possible. But if they did, it would be such a waste because then it's like, well, they're not going to that school. So now what you gotta do. But, you know, the good news is you can have multiple 529s that fund a single student. Like, that's fine. It's no problem. If you've got one over here, one over there and one over there. Do you sense that that's what they're trying to do, or are they just like, hey, it's a financial thing. We want to do our thing over here. We don't want to mingle it up. I get that.
Caller
I don't believe that there's any kind of ill intent in it.
They're being very generous, so we definitely appreciate that.
I think I was more a potential concern. I don't know the logistics around. I saw somewhere when this once opened,
which was maybe close to 10 years
ago, so I don't know if laws have changed since then, but that if a child received money from an account
John Deloney
other than the parents directly, that it
Caller
counted as income for Them and it could somehow either affect taxes or financial
aid or something like that.
So. Are you aware of anything along those lines?
Jade Warshaw
I'm not, I'm not. I've not heard that. Okay, that sounds too vague for me to form a clear opinion on it. I would just double check whatever your question is like form a clear question around that. I mean, if the money is used for education expenses, there shouldn't be, there shouldn't be an issue. Now what you said about financial aid, I'm not sure what you're trying to
John Deloney
like I wouldn't play that game at all anyway.
Jade Warshaw
Yeah, yeah. I'm not sure what you're trying to accomplish there. So.
Caller
Okay, got it.
Jade Warshaw
The goal would be pay cash, use the 529s, use them up and be grateful to whoever's contributed.
John Deloney
Yeah. Wants to put some money in on your kids cash. And let's say there is a tax liability at some point down the road, it's still going to be far less than tuition was, right?
Jade Warshaw
There shouldn't be if they're using it for education expenses. Now if they're just pulling it out, I mean if you're pulling it out, you're going to be on a 10% penalty for sure and that's going to be income taxed.
John Deloney
But hey Allison, can we just tell you welcome to the gang.
Caller
Thank you. Yeah, it's. Listen to you guys all the time
strolling the baby around the neighborhood and
doing chores in the house.
So I, I've really appreciated all your advice.
John Deloney
Awesome. Well, thank you so, so much for calling. Really grateful.
Jade Warshaw
Hot take.
John Deloney
I was going to say hot take is. I probably should dial back some of my biases. I, I just have so many experiences that taint my take. My rosy picture of the world sometimes.
Jade Warshaw
Well, I was going to ask your hot take on, on five 29s. What do you think about when you are with friends and it's like a gift giving situation like a birthday or Christmas and they're like just give to my kids 529 plan and they're like sending you a link.
John Deloney
I, I, I, well I.
Jade Warshaw
Good or bad?
John Deloney
I had a buddy, the, I mean one of my closest friends on the world in the world. The guy who's the executor my, my will. He, he opened an account when Hank was born and said I'm I at the time and this was right. He's like I don't super trust you. So I am starting an account for your kid and every year on his birthday I'm going To add money to it. And when he goes to goes to school, I'll pass along. So it was a cool, generous, awesome thing.
Jade Warshaw
Yeah. And I mean like it's, it's Hank's birthday and.
John Deloney
Oh, and I'm going to send out
Jade Warshaw
a link and you send out a link that's like, hey, I'm probably not doing that.
John Deloney
Donate to my kids.
Jade Warshaw
5, 20, 29. Is it tacky or hacky?
John Deloney
What do you think?
Jade Warshaw
I think it's tacky.
John Deloney
I go with a big capital T.
Jade Warshaw
I think it's tacky. Yeah, I know someone who's done it.
John Deloney
Let's give their name and address on the air.
Jade Warshaw
I may have hosted with him.
John Deloney
Oh, I can tell you. Listen, does his dog have a wheelchair?
Jade Warshaw
You gotta do what you gotta do. You gotta do what you gotta do. That's all I'm gonna say.
John Deloney
No, I'm going full tacky on that one. And he knows who he is. We'll be right back.
Dave Ramsey
Hey guys, Dave Ramsey here. Every day on this show, we help people work through real money problems and figure out what to do next. Now you can get that same kind of help anytime with Ask Ramsey. Ask your money question and get answers built on Ramsey prime principles we use on the show. Whether you're making a decision or just want something explained, ask Ramsey is here to help. It's fast, simple and free to use. Go to ramseysolutions.com and try Ask Ramsey today. That's ramseysolutions.com.
John Deloney
The Ramsey show question of the day is brought to you by why Refi defaulted Private student loans can leave you feeling stuck and overwhelmed. But why Refi helps you explore refinancing options with a low fixed rate and a payment based on what you can actually afford. Visit yrefi.com Ramsey that's the letter y r e f y.com Ramsey may not be available in all sorts of states.
Jade Warshaw
Okie dokie. Today's question comes from Jared in Wyoming. He says, I realize that money is a personal topic and it can be volatile, but when I hear my co workers brag about credit card points, it makes my head spin. How do you recommend discussing financial issues in casual social settings? Should I engage in conversation and try to be helpful or just keep to myself? I'm gonna tell you a story about what I don't do. And I learned it because I was around someone who did do it. So I'm mostly a plant based eater. I don't eat meat. Occasionally I'll do some dairy. But I once knew somebody who was so heavy handed with every situation. If she was in a situation when other people were eating meat, it was like, I can't believe you're eating meat. Like this is the wor. Like how could you? Right? And it's just such off putting, like it was giving all of us a bad name. I was like, hey, you need to stop that is making all of us look bad because nobody likes to be beat over the head with something that they possibly don't agree with and they didn't even ask your opinion anyway. And they don't really care what you do and they, they like doing what they're doing. Right. So I'm the type who, I mean, John, you know me, I don't really talk about I, most of my friends are carnivores and that makes them happy and I'm fine with it. And I don't really mention it and because I don't care and they don't care and we eat together and we eat together in peace. And one day if John is like, hey, I noticed you never eat meat, tell me about that, then I'm happy to tell him about it. And I'm literally just sharing it from my perspective.
John Deloney
So I'm on the other side of this.
Jade Warshaw
Tell me.
John Deloney
In 2012 there was rumblings in the nerd community, right. About this. The effect of ketogenic diets.
Jade Warshaw
Got you. Okay, okay, okay.
John Deloney
So this is before they became mainstream and everything was keto.
Jade Warshaw
Right.
John Deloney
I went down rabbit holes. I met with everybody I could. I talked to folks over at the med school. But I became the most annoying human who's ever lived. Every, I mean, someone could ask me a question about higher ed finance and I'd figure out a way to turn it back into you need to be eating a ketogenic. I was the, I was unbur.
Jade Warshaw
Were you?
John Deloney
I mean, I was the worst and I'm bad now. I was so bad then. And so and a, I was wrong on a huge chunk of what I was preaching about.
Jade Warshaw
Sure.
John Deloney
And I was unbearable, so annoying to be around. And so I, from that and a couple other things, I just adopted a policy which is I try, I, I, I, I fail sometimes, but most of the time I try to answer questions. If you ask.
Jade Warshaw
Yeah.
John Deloney
And so when it comes to people talking about how I do my money and look, how much I make, I just smile. And by the way, to everybody who thinks Dave is out lecturing his friends. Dave's friends lease cars, Dave's friends have credit cards. You don't hear him preaching about It. They know what he thinks about it, and he's their friend, and they're his friend. And so. And I joke about this. My oldest, best friend the planet is a banker.
Jade Warshaw
Yes.
John Deloney
And here's what that means. That means every day he goes to work hoping I fail in my job on the Ramsey show. And every day I go on the air hoping to put him out of business. And he's my best friend on the planet.
Jade Warshaw
Yeah.
John Deloney
And so we have. We disagree about this thing. And he loves my family, and I love his family, and I love him, and he loves me. And, dude, I'll go to war for that guy. And vice versa. We disagree about the this, and we don't have to preach and fight and argue about it. Right. And all that.
Jade Warshaw
And I'll. I'll go out on an even further limb, because in culture, and I know I'm opening a can of worms here, we can. We can tend to vilify the folks who aren't on our same. Any stratosphere. Like, we don't have the same opinions.
John Deloney
You don't vote like me. You don't this. And you got the shot, and you didn't get the shot like.
Jade Warshaw
Yes.
John Deloney
So it's madness.
Jade Warshaw
Sometimes we can think, oh, if they're not doing it our way, they're wrong.
Caller
Yeah.
John Deloney
Or they're. Or worse. They're easy.
Jade Warshaw
Or they're. Or they're bad.
John Deloney
Yeah.
Jade Warshaw
And the thing is. Here's the thing. There's plenty of people out there, John, and they. I know a few. They have their credit card. They pay it off every month. Do I agree with that? No, I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't teach it. I wouldn't. Right. But they do it. And they're fine. They're not bad. They're not broke. They're not. They're. They're doing fine now. Plenty of them are broke.
John Deloney
Yeah. Most of them are.
Jade Warshaw
You can see that. Right. But you got to just let people live their life. They're grown. You don't have to insert yourself. You don't have to. There's a lot of ways to do life out there, and people are. People are doing just fine. And if they're struggling, that's usually when they. You can sense that. And. And the, you know, you can ask God to. Or what. Whatever you do to open up that opportunity to kind of share a little bit. But other than that. And I'm not saying that Jared is doing that. I'm really going out on a limb here. But just don't go out looking for a fight.
John Deloney
Yes.
Jade Warshaw
Like looking to defend yourself.
John Deloney
Just the toughest guys I know, the guys who fought professionally are the guys who will walk away and grab their wife's hand or grab their kid's hand and get in their car and go home because they got nothing to prove. Right?
Jade Warshaw
Right. They don't have to throw a punch every time.
John Deloney
I don't have anything to prove to you. Yeah, right. And so I. So, Jared, great, great question. And we've all dealt with this. I would smile and let them just talk. And if they ask you which your opinion.
Jade Warshaw
I don't mess with credit cards.
John Deloney
I don't play with credit cards. I don't want single moms who are struggling with overdraft bills to pay for my free flights. So I don't deal with.
Jade Warshaw
See, now you already went deep really fast. You went deep really fast.
John Deloney
I. I'll say it, and it usually shuts up a conversation. But like, I. If you ask, I'll tell you. But dude, I. I want us to have a good time tonight. So run your. Run your mouth and we can move on with our days.
Jade Warshaw
Agree? Agree. I love it.
John Deloney
All right, let's roll out to H town and talk to Dean. Dean, I'm up against the clock. So question, brother.
Caller
Hey, hey, hey. How y' all doing?
John Deloney
We're doing good, man.
Caller
Kind of a little nervous. I'm going through a lot. I have $144,000 worth of debt. Just myself. Me and my wife recently got married a year ago. She has about twelve thousand dollars worth of debt and student loans and twelve hundred dollars worth of debt and credit cards. I recently just wanted to start getting my life together. I recently. Me and her recently got saved and I really felt a calling to really get my finances in order. And so I went ahead and paid off my car and paid off of my. My credit card. And so I still have that $144,000 worth of debt. I'm having trouble getting my wife on board with me with this living debt free. She's not on board with it. So I'm kind of doing. Doing this all by myself. We agreed to have a wedding and we recently, last night just found out that she is pregnant.
John Deloney
All right.
Caller
And so now we have about 14,000 worth saved towards the wedding that we have probably agreed that we're not going to do the wedding anymore, at least right now. And so I'm. My question is, what do I do with my finances? Like, what position do you guys feel like that I am in? My finances. And also how do I get across to her to be on board me with this being done debt free thing?
Jade Warshaw
So let me be clear. So if you guys don't do the party, like you don't do the wedding party, I still think you should get married.
John Deloney
Go to the courthouse and get married.
Jade Warshaw
Yeah. I think that's just gonna solidify.
Caller
Married in the courthouse.
Dave Ramsey
You're already.
Jade Warshaw
Okay, cool. Fabulous. Okay. You know, I love that you are interested in getting yourself together. You've had. You had a transformative moment, right? You. You had a moment. God shined down. You're like, I'm doing this thing and ready to set go. Sometimes when you have a moment like that, that's just a catalyst and you're just ready to go. You're assuming that the person next to you should just jump right into your level of excitement. And it's not always like that. And sometimes it's multiple conversations of you sharing your heart and sharing your fears for them to even be like, okay, I. I may not share your passion, but I'll go to the one with you on this ride until maybe one day I do.
John Deloney
That's me and my wife. Dean. As a Texas male, it's hard to sit down in front of your wife and say, hey, my past actions have led me to a point where I'm scared about our future.
Caller
Yeah.
John Deloney
Would you join me in this and I'll tell you, like, if she's right or die. Like. Like a good spouse is. My wife was like, I don't have that same fear that you have, but I'm in.
Caller
Yeah.
John Deloney
You get what I'm saying? Hey, hang on the line. You. You asked us a couple of big questions, and I want to make sure we answer this thing all the way. Going to hold you over the break. We usually don't do that, but I'm going to hold you over the break. So hang on the line and we will come back to you right after this commercial break.
Dave Ramsey
All right, let's cut to the chase. It's easy to get discouraged about crazy house prices and interest rates. But when you have the right real estate agent to help you buy and sell the right way, you'll have confidence to make smart decisions. Decisions. Ramsey trusted agents aren't just experts who guide you through buying or selling. They're people you can trust to have your back from the first call to closing day. Find a Ramsey trusted agent near you@ramseysolutions.com agent. That's ramseysolutions.com.
John Deloney
Are you sick and tired of working so hard? But have nothing to show for it. That's normal. And normal is broke. You don't have to live that way. Our everydollar budget app helps you find extra money every month and builds you a personalized plan to beat debt and build wealth. In just 15 minutes, you'll find thousands in hidden margin. You'll feel like you got a raise. Don't live normal when you can live like no one else. Start every dollar for free in the app store or Google will play. All right, right before the last break, I took a call from Dean in H town in Houston, and Dean is just realized he's got a ton of debt. Recent, recently married, got a new baby. Just found out last night. He's pregnant. Him and his wife are pregnant, and he is trying to get his wife on board. He wants to get his financial house in order, and so we held him over. We're going to walk him through how to clean this mess up and get his feet underneath him. Deep seeing you there.
Caller
Yep.
John Deloney
All right, man. Thanks for hanging over the break with us. All right, we're gonna walk you through the plan here on out. One question I got for you. What's this 140k? You said you got rid of your credit cards. You paid them off. You paid off your car. What's this 140?
Caller
It's all student loan debt. It's federal. The 90. I have 99 in states. Wow.
John Deloney
Okay. What do you do for living, brother?
Caller
I do real estate now. I went to school for business, but I. I recently got a job in real estate two years ago and, yeah, so I do real estate now.
John Deloney
What's your annual income?
Caller
Last year I made 65,000. This year. God has blessed me so much. I've already made 40,000 in the last three months. And if I stay on this pace, I'll be at like 125 to 150. If I can just continue on how I'm doing now.
John Deloney
Outstanding, dude. That means you're getting your feet under you in that. In a. In a wonky business, man. Congratulations, dude.
Caller
Yeah.
Jade Warshaw
What about your wife? What's she earn every month or yearly?
Caller
Yeah, she makes 40,000. She's a dental assistant, so she makes about 40,000.
Jade Warshaw
Okay, so there's a couple things linked in here. Let's talk about. Let's first talk about debt aside and paying off debt aside. How does she feel about combining your finances together and just saying, hey, we have one account, both of our paychecks going. You know, we have transparency. We make financial decisions together. Like that whole Bag. How does she feel about that?
Caller
She actually wants that. I've been the one that's hesitant to do that.
Jade Warshaw
Why?
Caller
With our marriage, just because we just don't think about finances the same way. You know, for instance, we recently had a conversation about the fact that she has a lease. And with me, she's leasing a car with me, kind of finding more out about finances. And she, she was just like, I'm not giving up my lease.
Right.
Have a new car every three years.
Jade Warshaw
But let's take that, let's, let's take financial philosophy off the table for just a second and just the idea of combining to become one. And we're just going to do this thing together. To have full transparency would. Aside from. Because it's going to take some time for you guys to have similar values and you're never going to think the same. You're just going to have similar values. So if you just say, hey, I married this woman, I'm in it now. Could you be on board with let's have transparency, let's share, let's do this thing together. And we're not talking about debt and plans yet. We're just combining our money. Would you be okay with that?
Caller
Yes.
John Deloney
Let me put it this way. You've already combined DNA to make a human. The least you can do is, is to combine your checking account, right?
Caller
Yeah. Yeah.
John Deloney
You're already in it now. Now.
Caller
Yeah. Because we do have a joint account where we do bills, but we haven't done the whole thing. So.
John Deloney
Yeah, there you go.
Jade Warshaw
I think that's your first step. Because I, we teach baby steps around here and we have seven financial baby steps. But there's just, I think for you, there's even some smaller layers that we can get to that is just going to help you inch towards where you want to go. So I think tonight that's the first conversation you have is it's not about paying off debt, it's not about accomplishing goals. It's just, hey, you know, we're, we're married, we're about to have a baby together. Let's do this money thing together. I want, I want us to jump in with both feet. I know we don't see eye to eye on certain things yet. That'll come later. But I just want to know that you and I are together on this one.
John Deloney
Even if you got a budget for six months for the lease payment.
Jade Warshaw
Yes, yes.
Caller
Right.
Jade Warshaw
It all goes on budget.
John Deloney
You're all working together on the same team.
Jade Warshaw
Cuz that's the first thing, you can't convince somebody to do what you want to do if you haven't fully committed,
John Deloney
if you won't do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jade Warshaw
So the first step is we're committing that we are sharing our money and let it marinate for a minute. Like, let it breathe. You don't have to, you know, have this conversation tonight. And then by Sunday, you're already talking about paying off the debt. Right. Get the money together, let it breathe for a moment. And then while you're, while you're continuing to learn because you're, you're, you're new to this, too, then we can start having conversations about, okay, now that we see what our budget looks like, here's some of the things that I'm noticing with the. Our budget. I've got a lot of debt, and it is like, eating up the majority of our margin. And you've got a lease. I've noticed. That's, you know, that's something that I'm taking note of. Right. And you can start to say things that you're just noticing and you can start to share things about how you're feeling. And again, let this unroll. It's okay that this takes a little bit of time. I don't think, John, I've ever had a financial conversation with Sam where we have opposing views or differing views. Views. That happens in one conversation.
John Deloney
Never. Yeah, never.
Jade Warshaw
It doesn't happen. So take that out of your expectation, because not only is this is, not only is this a delicate conversation, but you're newlyweds, right?
John Deloney
And you just both found out you're having a baby, right? Like all this, you're a new. You're a new person of faith. Like, all this is new, right? So. So you think of this word in your head. Practice. You've never done any of this stuff before. You're going to practice just like if you never shot a free throw throw before, you're going to get up there and look silly for the first few times and you're going to keep shooting and shooting and you're going to get better and better at it. That's what we're doing here. We're practicing. We're practicing this conversation. We're practicing, like, combining our lives together. We're practicing. Combining our money together. We're practicing, hey, how much do we need for groceries this month? We're practicing all these things.
Jade Warshaw
And you have two in my. And John, you jump in at any time. In my mind, you have two frameworks of conversation only it's here's how I feel and here's. I, I've just been thinking about the future. Wouldn't it be cool if. And so you're just painting. You're painting cool visions of the future that you see. Man. I just, I, I can't keep thinking about like, wouldn't it. I just keep thinking about what it would feel if I didn't have debt and if we didn't have debt and I was actually thinking about that and that would feel amazing. Right. So all you're sharing is your feelings and your, and your, your vision. Nothing that she has to do, nothing that she has to change. It's just you talking about.
John Deloney
You bring it back to your childhood. I grew up in a house where we're all. My old man was always stressed about money and I have a dream for our kid to never know that kind of stress.
Caller
Yeah.
John Deloney
If our kid makes the basketball team, I want to be able to get him the best shoes and not even think about it.
Jade Warshaw
Yes.
Caller
Right.
John Deloney
And so what you're doing is you're painting a picture. You're not lecturing with numbers. You get, you get the. What we're saying.
Caller
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's very true for me too.
John Deloney
In my past it was for most of us. And, and you, you inviting her out for a half day dreaming retreat on, hey, we're having a baby. Both of us come from this background and she comes from that background. What do, what do we envision us wanting our house to feel like when our daughter or our son comes home and they're 12? What do you want the house to feel like?
Caller
Right.
John Deloney
And we get to, we get to construct that. We get to build that up.
Caller
Right.
John Deloney
And often. Not always, but often. Oh, dude, I care less about my car. I want my house to feel like that one day.
Caller
Yeah. Right.
John Deloney
And. And so again, it sounds counterintuitive to put the money aside for a second, but let's dream and get a, A, A crystal clear picture of what our vision for our life wants to look like and feel like. And then it's just a matter of reverse engineering it and let's just build it. Nothing out.
Jade Warshaw
Yeah. And Dean, I'm going to send you a copy of my book. What no one tells you about money because it does a good job of, you know, when you're dealing with a framework like the baby steps, it shows how some people feel versus how other people feel. And I think it'll really help you get an insight as to the way she might be feeling. And it'll Help you pinpoint how you might be feeling. And I think that's just really going to be good for you. Now, obviously, when it comes to the debt, when the time comes, when she's ready, when you. When you're ready. Yeah. I'm going to recommend the baby steps all the way and we're going to make sure you're set up with every dollar. That's our wedding gift to you. We'll make sure you have every dollar. We'll make sure you have my book. We'll also give you Dave's book, the total money makeover. We're just going to load you up because I want you learning and learning and learning. And I want. What I want is that every time she looks at you, you've got a piece of our material in your hand or in your face and she's like, dang, this guy is like, every time I look at him, he's got his face planted in Ramsey.
John Deloney
And you can look at her if she. If she rolls her eyes at you, whatever, and say, honey, I'm in this with you for the long haul and I'm going to change my family tree.
Jade Warshaw
I'm going to make sure that you guys are doing well. I'm going to make sure we're successful.
John Deloney
We got you, man. And hey, if it comes down to it, just tell her. Two goofballs on the radio gave you a year of the best budgeting app on the planet. Every dollar. And it's invite her to use it with you because it was free.
Dave Ramsey
Dave Ramsey here. Most people stay stuck with their money because they're not paying attention to it. Most people are living paycheck to paycheck, stressed out and broke. Don't be most people. You work way too hard to be broke and feel broke and you deserve to have something to show for it. That's why we built the everydollar budget app. It gives you a personalized plan for your money that shows you how to free up extra money every month and use it to beat debt and build last minute wealth. Plus, you get real coaches guiding you through your plan step by step. Look, most people hearing this will just keep hoping something changes, but not you. You're ready to make change happen. Starting now. Go download everydollar in the app store or Google Play and start for free.
John Deloney
Today's scripture is Proverbs 16:24. Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Elizabeth Elliott says, lord, deliver me from the urge to open my mouth when I should shut It. Oh, man, I need to get that tattooed on my forearm.
Jade Warshaw
I know. That's right.
John Deloney
That's a good one right there. Let's go out to Grand Rapids, Michigan and talk to Emma. Hey, Emma, what's going on?
Caller
Hi, how are you?
John Deloney
We're doing great. How are you?
Caller
I'm pretty good.
I have a question.
My husband and I are on our debt snowball. So we're on baby step two. And my husband has irregular work. So he is a flat rate motorcycle mechanic. So most of his money is made March, well, more like April through September. And then we take a big pay cut. So we looked at what the minimum is to live during the winter and we kind of estimated that we need about seven a month during the busy season to put into a sinking fund so that we would be good for the winter. But we were looking at the minimums. If we pay off what we think we're going to pay off in debt by September, then we wouldn't need any additional money because all of those minimums would be gone.
Jade Warshaw
That's great.
Caller
So we're wondering, do we just make the sinking fund and then if October comes and we don't need it, we just throw that to debt or do we hold it just in case through the winter since there's no way to make really extra money for him.
Jade Warshaw
Why is there? No, I believe that there is a way that either of you can make $700 extra a month.
John Deloney
Yeah, teach me about flat rate motorcycle mechanic. What does that mean? I never heard that.
Caller
So it's a form of commission. And so essentially like if you, you are billing, you know, let's say it's, the customer is billed 10 hours for a job. If you can do the job in five hours, you still get paid 10 hours worth of work. So you can essentially do 90 hours of work in a 40 hour workweek.
John Deloney
Okay.
Caller
But there is, there are no motorcycles being ridden really? In Michigan.
John Deloney
Okay, gotcha. So it's kind of like y' all are farmer.
Caller
Yeah.
So it's not like you can just magically make extra motorcycles come in. But he could go, has to be there.
John Deloney
Could he go work at a mechanic shop working on cars?
Caller
No, they're not, they're not the same. And he has to be at the motorcycle shop.
Jade Warshaw
Right. But I'm thinking, okay, you're saying that $700 is the deficit monthly. I just believe in the winter. In the winter. Right. And I'm thinking of, I don't know, teachers or pastors or people who kind of, it's like, this is my main job, but I also need a side gig. I. $700 is not a. A scary number to go out and make for a month. And so I'm wondering. And rather than you guys having to be like squirrels and it being at a detriment to your baby step two, I just feel like you've got time between now and September to say, let's pinpoint work that we do in the winter months on top of what's already there for us to pull in $700. And I just think that that's a great, great practice.
John Deloney
Anyway, you're talking 2800 bucks, right? Is it four? I guess the Michigan winner's nine months long, right? How long. How long are you talking.
Caller
It's about. It's about six months.
John Deloney
Okay, so you need three, 600 bucks, right?
Caller
Yeah.
Yep.
John Deloney
Or 4,200 bucks.
Jade Warshaw
And what do you do?
Caller
Me?
Jade Warshaw
Yeah.
Caller
Ministry work.
Jade Warshaw
Okay. So I. I gotta believe I have
Caller
two side hustles already.
John Deloney
Okay.
Caller
And capped out. And we have four kids.
Jade Warshaw
Okay. So that's kind of what's making me think that there's more to this, because side hustles are there for, like, sprints. I wouldn't want this to be something that's. I want you guys to be able to lock in and have this money without having to. Does that make sense? I don't want it to be a detriment to your baby step two.
John Deloney
If you're a farmer, you work all year and you get paid in one or two big chunks. Chunks. Right. And so you have to budget those two big chunks as though and spread it out over the year. And so I. I'm with Jade. Like, I would. I would love to see y' all be able to say, okay, we need 4, 200 extra dollars over the course of a year.
Jade Warshaw
Yes.
John Deloney
Can we scratch and claw and figure that out? If you're telling us no, there's zero percent chance we're are. We're scratching and clawing to get to. We only need 4, 200 left, then. Yes.
Jade Warshaw
Very tight.
John Deloney
It's a matter of budgeting some 700 bucks in the good months and putting it into a sinking fund of $4,200. And we're going to withdraw from it for six months.
Caller
But we wouldn't need that. If we do pay off the stuff we were planning on paying off, we just wouldn't be putting anything toward the snowball in those months.
Jade Warshaw
That's kind of why I'm saying what I'm saying, which is, why delay your snowball payoff if you can commit to. By September, we're going to be debt, debt free. But we also know that we might not have enough money. So during that next sprint, we can come up with ways to make an extra step if we need it. Does that make sense?
Caller
Yeah. Yeah, because I hadn't thought about that.
Jade Warshaw
If you continue to aggressively do your snowball, you're not setting aside the $700 by September, you're debt free, right?
Caller
No, we would just have a. We're looking at 24 months before.
Jade Warshaw
Okay, so then for two years. For two years, you have to fill the September $100 gap, right?
Caller
Well, no, we would just. So if we were to take off, we have six things we're thinking we're going to have paid off by September, those minimums would be gone and two of them are car payments. So it's quite a lot of. That's $900.
Jade Warshaw
I think that's, that's even more fuel in my mind, definitely, to keep writing this out because again, if you pay off those few, then you get those minimums back, great. But if you can keep your foot on the gas and you can say, hey, let's pick up whatever work we can until this, this, all of the debt is completely gone. That's. I mean, I would tell anybody to do that.
Caller
Okay.
Jade Warshaw
And then once the two years is over, all the debt is gone, everything, then you can do what John said, which is, yes, now we take our lump sum of money and we spread it evenly over the 12 months and we're good to go.
John Deloney
Are you worried that you're going to pay this debt off and suddenly you're, you're going to have, have, need. Have needed that. Some cash.
Caller
Yeah, because we're just still trying to figure out the budgeting. And so the, the concern is there's no way to like for him to, to build the extra money. So that's. The concern is that it's kind of an unknown charted territory.
Jade Warshaw
Now I do feel like for irregular incomes, I'm thinking of people like realtors where it's just like, yeah, I don't know, month to month. It's great to, it's always good to, to be, to have a month's worth of expenses just sitting in your account. So essentially you're always a month ahead. In your case, that might benefit you guys. You might feel a lot better to just always have that money there because if you don't know necessarily what's coming in month to month, then that's a great practice to Have. Right. And I would certainly do that, because in that case. Yeah, you're just like any other volatile, you know, kind of irregular person. It's like, if I don't know that I'm going to make my whole month, I want to know that the month is there. And I would do that. But beyond that, I would make sure my goal would be to not have to touch that money if that were the case.
Caller
Okay.
Yeah, We. We're lucky because we do know a minimum of what he's going to make. So we have that figured out. He makes a bare minimum just for being there.
Jade Warshaw
And is that enough to cover?
Caller
It's. It's not. It's. That's why it's $700 short. But that's. If we don't have these payments. But if we pay the two cars off, that's 900 right there. That's gone.
John Deloney
Months done.
Jade Warshaw
Okay, so tell me about a good month. What happens? You know, obviously, there's. What's a good month look like, how much over does he go?
Caller
Yeah, over what he regular, like, what? The winter months are sometimes about $8,000.
Jade Warshaw
Oh. So I feel like. I feel like there's way more money on the table here. Yes. So you're telling me on the months where he goes, like, crazily up over, that doesn't give you the $3,600 that you need?
Caller
It does, but we've been putting it toward the debt right now.
Jade Warshaw
But. I mean. And then some.
Caller
And then some. Yes. So we've been putting it toward debt. So that's why we. All of it's going toward debt minus that 700 right now.
Jade Warshaw
Okay. Yeah. I mean, my advice doesn't change, but I think there's more money here than meets the eye.
John Deloney
Yeah. How long. How long do you pay these cars off?
Caller
Well, we just paid one off today.
John Deloney
Congratulations.
Caller
Thank you. And then the next one will be paid off.
John Deloney
Two weeks.
Jade Warshaw
That's exciting.
John Deloney
Oh, what, Emma, why are you calling us?
Caller
Because I'm not sure if. Because it says the irregular income thing, so I got kind of hung up on that.
John Deloney
Well, you don't have an irregular income. You have a regular income.
Caller
Okay. Like, it's just. It fluctuates significantly, but the.
John Deloney
The gross total is the same annually. Like, you don't get paid every two weeks or every month, but you get paid a few times times a year.
Caller
We. It gets paid every other. Every other week, but it can arrange by $30,000.
John Deloney
But you. You know that range based on the time of month, right?
Caller
Yes.
John Deloney
Okay. All right, well, that's it for the Ramsey show. Jade.
Jade Warshaw
Yes?
John Deloney
Thanks for letting me sit in your shadow today. Remember, there's only one way to financial peace. That's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.
Main Theme:
This episode centers on empowering listeners to take their first steps toward financial freedom—no matter their past mistakes. Hosts John Deloney and Jade Warshaw answer live calls, tackling issues from breaking out of car leases and marital money merges, to prioritizing debt payoff, navigating financial infidelity, and planning for an uncertain future. The tone is practical and empathetic, combining actionable advice with motivational and sometimes blunt truth-telling.
“You are in stork mode. I would not jump into that savings. You need it there. That's cushioned. That's for your peace of mind.”
– Jade (02:28)
“Combining—just something as simple as joining accounts—man, it changes your life.”
– John (17:15)
“Being lonely is gonna kill you too.”
– John (28:38)
“The things I hear over and over again are the meals and the really hard laughs...those are the stories.”
– John (38:33)
“Financial infidelity. The trust...has been turned to ash.”
– John (55:21)
“If our kid makes the basketball team, I want to be able to get him the best shoes and not even think about it.”
– John (112:18)
“A good investment is diversified.”
– Jade (80:07)
“The bar is so low. Show up. Just show up.”
– John (75:49)
The episode is a mix of tough love, empathy, and humor—direct advice, heartfelt moments, and practical systems. The hosts repeatedly urge listeners to step into intentionality: communicate openly with spouses, ask for help, plan (not just hope) for the future, and above all, embrace behavioral change as the driver of financial freedom. The biggest takeaways: progress starts with small, intentional steps—no matter your past.