You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens

Summary

The Ramsey Show: You Can’t Build a Life You Love While Carrying Everyone Else’s Burdens

Release Date: May 19, 2025

In this compelling episode of The Ramsey Show, host Jade Warshaw and co-host Dr. John Deloney delve deep into the financial struggles of listeners who find themselves burdened by debt while striving to build a fulfilling life. The episode emphasizes the importance of prioritizing personal financial stability over taking on others' burdens, ensuring that listeners can create a life they truly love without being weighed down by financial obligations.

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1. Caller Matt: Overwhelmed by Educational Debt and Career Missteps

Timestamp: [00:46] – [07:47]

Matt from Providence, Rhode Island, shares his daunting financial predicament: $350,000 in debt primarily from undergraduate, master's, and law school programs. With a baby on the way and living in a cramped two-bedroom rental, Matt and his growing family are struggling to find a larger, affordable home. Additionally, Matt has $100,000 income from a transportation services job, but his current earnings barely scratch the surface of his debt burden.

Dr. John Deloney provides a stark analogy:“At [02:31], John stated, “You got into an excavator and dug a humongous hole for you and your family.” He urges Matt to recognize that staying in a saturated legal market isn't a viable option and emphasizes the necessity of exploring alternative career paths or additional income streams to manage and eliminate debt.

2. Caller Tyler: Conflict Over Wedding Budget Amidst Financial Goals

Timestamp: [11:28] – [20:14]

Tyler from Dallas, Texas, is recently engaged and faces a significant disagreement with his fiancée regarding their wedding budget. Tyler aims to spend $10,000, while his fiancée desires to spend up to $25,000. With a combined income of approximately $120,000 and $28,000 in debt, Tyler is concerned about overspending on the wedding, especially since they don't yet own their forever home and plan to start a family soon.

Jade Warshaw advises prioritizing financial health over a lavish wedding, suggesting they consider a smaller, more intimate ceremony and plan for a grand celebration once they have achieved greater financial stability. She emphasizes finding a middle ground, perhaps settling on a budget around $15,000, to balance both their desires and financial realities.

Dr. John Deloney echoes this sentiment, stating at [16:41]: “I'd rather see y'all have a small, fun, like, cheap wedding. And then when she's graduates from her residency and y'all can throw the party of a century.”

3. Caller Ashley: Balancing Large Family and Substantial Debt

Timestamp: [35:57] – [76:05]

Ashley from Orlando, Florida, a Navy veteran with five children and expecting her sixth, reveals her family's significant financial strain. They are grappling with $30,000 in motorcycle debt, $25,000 in student loans, $10,000 owed to a private school, and an $8,000 debt to her alma mater for transcripts. Despite eliminating credit card debt and making progress on other loans, Ashley feels trapped by her financial obligations, especially with more children on the way.

Jade Warshaw and Dr. John Deloney advise prioritizing debt repayment, suggesting selling the problematic motorcycle despite being upside down on the loan. They emphasize the importance of eliminating high-interest debts to avoid long-term financial repercussions and recommend sticking closely to their "Baby Steps" plan to regain financial control.

At [40:36], Ashley shares, “I've tried to prioritize the other debts first,” highlighting the complexity of managing multiple debt sources simultaneously while supporting a large family.

4. Caller Mike: Assisting a Retired Father in Debt

Timestamp: [57:47] – [66:53]

Mike from West Palm Beach, Florida, discusses his father’s precarious financial situation. Retired at 65 years old, Mike's father has $85,000 in personal loans and $5,000 in credit card debt, living on a $48,000 annual pension supplemented by yearly bonuses between $7,000 and $12,000. His father has been relying on his children for financial support, requesting $1,000 per month to manage his debts with promises to repay from future bonuses.

Dr. John Deloney confronts the ethical dilemma, expressing empathy but emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries. He advises Mike not to compromise his financial goals or strain familial relationships by extending beyond his means. Instead, he suggests exploring ways for his father to increase income or reduce expenses independently.

Jade Warshaw reinforces the need for Mike and his siblings to support their father without compromising their own financial stability. She states, “This is your family, but at the same instant, there's a hard line that you kind of have to draw.”

5. Caller Elora: Transitioning to a Stay-at-Home Mom Amid Financial Constraints

Timestamp: [82:10] – [89:57]

Elora from Las Vegas, Nevada, expresses frustration over wanting to become a stay-at-home mom despite making more money than her husband, whose income barely covers the household expenses. With three children and one more on the way, Elora struggles with the financial impossibility of her desire to quit her job without jeopardizing their financial stability.

Jade Warshaw and Dr. John Deloney guide Elora to assess her current financial standing meticulously. They highlight the importance of ensuring that essential expenses like mortgage and debts are manageable with her husband’s income alone. The hosts suggest that Elora and her husband might need to temporarily adjust their financial strategies, possibly by having her reduce working hours until they can fully support their family solely on his income.

Dr. John Deloney emphasizes the mathematical reality of their situation: “You have six months to get out of debt before making major changes,” urging them to focus on eliminating debts before making significant lifestyle adjustments.

6. Caller Ryan: Marrying for Immigration Reasons

Timestamp: [69:27] – [74:23]

Ryan from Texas faces emotional turmoil over whether to marry his girlfriend, fearing that her primary motivation might be to secure her stay in the country rather than genuine love. Feeling uncertain about her true intentions, Ryan seeks advice on how to navigate these feelings and make an informed decision.

Dr. John Deloney and Jade Warshaw encourage Ryan to have an open and honest conversation with his girlfriend. They highlight the importance of understanding each other’s motivations and ensuring that the foundation of their relationship is built on mutual respect and genuine affection rather than pragmatic reasons.

Dr. John Deloney advises, “If you have a concern, let's ask that hard question so I'm less concerned with the answer or what the questions actually are when it comes to should I marry this person,” emphasizing the necessity of transparency in relationships.

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Key Insights and Takeaways

• Prioritize Debt Repayment: Whether dealing with educational loans, personal debts, or large mortgages, eliminating high-interest debts should be a primary financial goal to prevent long-term financial strain.

• Budgeting is Crucial: Effective budgeting, especially for self-employed individuals or those with fluctuating incomes, helps in managing irregular finances and ensures that essential expenses are covered first.

• Open Communication in Relationships: Financial decisions deeply impact personal relationships. Honest and transparent conversations about money, debts, and financial goals are essential to maintain healthy relationships and achieve mutual financial stability.

• Set Boundaries When Helping Family: While supporting family members in financial distress is compassionate, it’s crucial to set boundaries to protect one’s own financial health and prevent familial strain.

• Strategic Financial Planning for Families: Families should align their financial goals, such as wedding budgets or decisions to have a stay-at-home parent, with their current financial status and long-term objectives to ensure sustainable financial well-being.

Promotions and Resources

Throughout the episode, The Ramsey Show subscribers were introduced to various financial tools and services designed to aid in budgeting, refinancing, and debt management:

• EveryDollar App: A free budgeting tool that helps users create and stick to a budget, accommodating both regular and fluctuating incomes ([00:05], [66:00]).

• Fairwinds Credit Union: Promoted as a customer-centric, non-profit credit union offering competitive savings rates and low-cost services ([09:04]).

• Laurel Road: Recommended for student loan refinancing, offering lower interest rates and personalized financial advice ([06:50], [69:27]).

• DeleteMe: A service to remove personal information from data broker websites, enhancing online privacy and reducing exposure to scams ([44:48], [45:35]).

The Ramsey Show consistently emphasizes the importance of utilizing available financial resources to achieve personal and family financial goals, reinforcing their commitment to empowering listeners to build wealth and attain financial freedom.

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By sharing real-life scenarios and providing actionable advice, The Ramsey Show equips listeners with the knowledge and strategies necessary to overcome financial burdens and cultivate a life of financial independence and personal fulfillment.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today.

[Jade Warshaw]

From the Ramsey Network, it's the Ramsey Show. Hey. We're taking calls all day long about your life and your money. I'm your host, Jade Warshaw. Next to me, your other host, Dr. John Deloney in the house. All right, without further ado, if you didn't know this is a live show, you can call in and request your call to be on the radio. The number is 888-55225. If you call in, the line is busy. Leave a message because a lot of times we take messages and we'll schedule your call for later. So that's the way it goes down. All right. Matt is in Providence, Rhode Island. Matt, what's going on?

[Caller (Matt)]

Not much. Just trying to figure out how to, you know, get some more financial freedom. Have about $350,000 in debt with a baby on the way and.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yep.

[Caller (Matt)]

And kind of in a tight space with a family of three that's eventually going to be a family of four. So we, you know, kind of also need to look for a bigger spot. And as you know, the rental market also isn't the best. And there's, you know, no houses or at least starter homes with three bedroom, two bath in our area, which is at least something better than what we have. We're in a two bedroom, one bath right now.

[Jade Warshaw]

A rental.

[Caller (Matt)]

Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. What kind of debt is this? 350. I was hoping you would say some of it was a mortgage, but that.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Was what you say. Med school. Like, what is it?

[Caller (Matt)]

So 300k is mine and it's law school undergrad and a master's program.

[Jade Warshaw]

Wow.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Are you practicing?

[Caller (Matt)]

No, I am not. I had to change career paths because the legal field just wasn't working out in this area. It is extremely saturated.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Hold on, hold on. Before we go any further, I have to have to say you have created a world where there's only stop signs. And Jade and I are going to give you five or 10 or 20 different options. But you already are a guy that just says but no, but, no, but, no but, no but no. So before we go further in the call, will you be willing to entertain that the way you've chosen to, like, wall yourself in in your life isn't working and you have to be willing to do other things?

[Caller (Matt)]

Oh, yeah, absolutely. That's why I called in.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay.

[Jade Warshaw]

All right, good.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah. So I guess here's the deal. You got into an excavator and dug a humongous hole for you and your family. And so you either have to go to a different place or do that job that you hate. That's miserable. But that's what, that's the credential you got. You're gonna have to do something with that. You don't have the option to not practice law right now because you don't have any money. You get what I'm saying?

[Jade Warshaw]

Especially if you say, if you tell us, hey, I actually, I got all these degrees. I like practicing law. If you tell me the only reason is because it's too saturated, then my question is, hey, that might be the case. Why can't we move and go practice law elsewhere?

[Dr. John Deloney]

And you already told me you don't have any houses that you can afford in your area. So what's keeping you in this area?

[Caller (Matt)]

Well, that's probably more my, my wife on her side. Her dad's pretty sick. And so part of the decision to stay here is, you know, help, help out with him, his medical problems. And God forbid we move. Something happened and now she's just rushing back here to be with family.

[Jade Warshaw]

So let's, let's wait before you go on, let's unpack that a little bit. Let's take it piece by piece because I want to know more about that situation. Is she like, is she 100% his caregiver? Is she just, you know, is she's a child who wants to be near their sick parent?

[Dr. John Deloney]

Is he terminally ill, going to be going to pass away in six months? Or is it like a four or five year thing? Like, what's the, what's the deal?

[Caller (Matt)]

It's in a state of being monitored. She's more or less just more the concerned child that wants to be your dad.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, so that's a great place to start because now we can start putting some reality around the situation. Like the two of you can sit down and John jump in at any point, but if this were me, I would say, okay, the truth is I want to be able to be near my dad when he's sick. What can that look like? How, what does the radius need to be for me to be able to do that? Whether it's me jumping on a quick hour long flight or me driving six hours up there, you know, on the weekend. Figure out what that point is. Because you guys are in Providence, Rhode Island. There's got to be a radius there that you can get out of that city, get out of that saturated area, get out of that high real estate area and still be able to see, see dad. Right, so that's thing one. What's the next. What's the next limiting factor?

[Caller (Matt)]

So between the. For her, she just recently got promoted, but her job is. She has to be in the office 100%.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. So that's not too different.

[Caller (Matt)]

Yeah. So if we needed to move, she probably need to look for a new job. She's, she's open. The question that could I do this remote? Because it's, it's actually a job that can be done remote in my opinion.

[Jade Warshaw]

Why does she need to work remote versus just getting another job at a place that'll hire her to do what she knows how to do, whether in office or remote.

[Caller (Matt)]

So.

[Jade Warshaw]

Well, is it the kids?

[Caller (Matt)]

Well, that's part of it.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Caller (Matt)]

And then the scarcity of like we move and she can't find anything.

[Jade Warshaw]

Well, you wouldn't move first. So let's, let's put that, let's put something around that so that fits in a better space in your brain. So you guys first, you're open to the idea of moving. Right. It's you guys talking about that radius like we talked about.

[Caller (Matt)]

I've been, see my job that I have now, I'm 100% work from home and I've been trying to move out for years.

[Dr. John Deloney]

How much do you make in this job?

[Caller (Matt)]

So I currently make 100k and she makes 55.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay. You need to double your salary and you might not get all the way to 200, but you have a $350,000 hole that you dug for your family and a hundred thousand dollars with another kid on the way. And plus like there it's, maybe it's 100% at home, but also you're taking cases for the state on the weekends. I don't know what it is, but. And I know you've got kids and I know you want to be a present dad and all that. You, you just don't have that luxury right at the second.

[Jade Warshaw]

And I do think. Go ahead. You go ahead. No, go ahead. Yeah.

[Caller (Matt)]

For more transparency around the loss of. I'm actually not licensed. I struggled to pass the bar. I took it five times before I decided like, hey, I've dropped 15 grand in total and just registration fees that I need to go down a different path. And then that's where I am today in my parent role.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay.

[Jade Warshaw]

That changes things.

[Dr. John Deloney]

It does. Did you, did you. Can you honestly say you committed to doing all of the bar prep?

[Caller (Matt)]

Oh, yeah. I mean that was three straight years of, you know, the beginning of our marriage too, was Like I felt non present because it's working a full time job all day. And then I was up all night till 2am studying, going into the test. And then even before we got married, I was law school and that was, you know, I. Part of my debt was so that I didn't have to work so I could study full time.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay, so you, you feel good about. I went all in because I know you and I both know the data about if you just do the bar prep questions and you just follow their schedule. Okay. So you can honestly look in the mirror and say, I got in that ring and I got knocked out five times. Maybe boxing isn't for me. You feel good about that, right? Okay, great. Awesome. Then perfect. I'll be quiet about that. We can move on to the next thing. Very good. So making 100 grand, what do you do now?

[Caller (Matt)]

So I work in transportation services for a major company out here.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay.

[Caller (Matt)]

Essentially I help manage business to consumer to consumer retail delivery.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay. Can you for a season, work that job and the moment your wife gets home from her job, you'll have dinner together and you head off for job number two at night and get your salary to 150 for a year to start knocking some of his debt out?

[Caller (Matt)]

I mean, it's something we've discussed. Just didn't really pull the trigger on it.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay. I guess what you're hearing, Jade and I say there's at some point there's something's got to give, whether it's your living situation, whether it's she goes and gets another job or it's you get another job. But at some point you are going to have to look at your situation and say, we just keep talking about it, but we're doing the same thing over and over and over again. We're in the same spot. What do you think?

[Jade Warshaw]

In two minutes? I'm not 100% sold that you're done with law. I think you're a guy who's feeling really defeated and felt the weight of his debt and it's, it's really paralyzing right now.

[Dr. John Deloney]

All right, fair.

[Caller (Alan)]

All right, Dave, you have some strong opinions?

[Dave Ramsey]

Possibly.

[Caller (Alan)]

Yeah, I think so. Because you really prefer credit unions over big banks.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, credit unions, for one thing, are nonprofit, which means that the members, the customers own the credit union. So any profits that the credit union makes goes back into customer pricing. So you get better interest rate on savings, cheaper checking and so on, that kind of thing. And, but that's what's more important than that though, is the fact that the customer is the owner, changes the spirit on the credit union. So I find very few credit unions that aren't very customer centric.

[Caller (Alan)]

Well, and I think we have found one that is incredibly incredible, and that's Fairwinds. They are an incredible credit union that is really out with the heart to help the customer.

[Dave Ramsey]

They're the right kind of people with the right kind of values, and they've done a really, really good job with customer service and the deals that they're offering. The Ramsey Tribe is incredible.

[Caller (Alan)]

Yeah, absolutely. And I love that the things that we teach, they so line up with. And you're right, their customer service is unbelievable. Winston and I just signed up and we got an account. And I'm not kidding, it took less than five minutes. It was so user friendly. Like, the step by step approach was unbelievable. And then the next day my phone rings and it says Fairwinds on my phone. So I answered it and talked to someone there and they said, yeah, they give calls to every new customer. And so again, they just really care about your experience. And I so, so appreciate that. Plus, anything that you can do at a traditional branch, you can do with [e-mail] or on their app. And you'll have free access to over 33,000 ATMs.

[Dave Ramsey]

You guys know how much I hate banks in general, and for me to do this is a big deal. Talk to our friends at Fairwinds and check out the combined checking and savings bundle that they created just for the Ramsay tribe. You guys, it's incredible.

[Caller (Alan)]

Yeah, you guys, it's so easy to join Fairwinds no matter where you live. So go to Fairwinds.org Ramsey.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Fairwinds is federally insured by NCUA.

[Jade Warshaw]

All right, let's go right to the phone lines where Alan is in Dallas, Texas. Alan, how can we help?

[Caller (Tyler)]

I recently got engaged about a month ago, and now we're starting to do planning for our wedding.

[Jade Warshaw]

Nice.

[Caller (Tyler)]

And I realized being my fiance are on two different pages as far as what we should spend on our total budget. My idea, I don't want to spend over $10,000 getting married. Her a little over double that. She wants to spend 20 to 25. Okay, so I'm trying to figure out, am I out of touch with reality with having a budget for $10,000, or should I go in and should I just go in and, you know, do what she wants and make her happy with spending more?

[Jade Warshaw]

Well.

[Dr. John Deloney]

You'Re my hero, man. You're my hero.

[Jade Warshaw]

It depends. I mean, if you guys really do have the money and you could spend 25,000, then that's different. If you don't have the money, then I would not do what she wants to do just to, you know, make her happy. So tell us the, the funds. Tell us about the money.

[Caller (Tyler)]

Yeah, so the reason I'm not comfortable with it right now, she's in medical school. So together we bring in maybe 120,000 between the both of us.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Caller (Tyler)]

So also, you know, looking long term. We're okay right now as far as our living situation. We have no kids, but we're not in our forever home. So eventually we are going to want to move then planning for children and stuff like that as well.

[Dr. John Deloney]

How much money do you have right now?

[Jade Warshaw]

A lot.

[Caller (Tyler)]

You got a lot of savings, right? Yeah, total savings. Right now. I probably say I'm at about 30,000.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. And how much debt? This is just you.

[Caller (Tyler)]

My debt. I only have about 4,000 in credit cards. I pay for school out of pocket, so that's the only thing that I have.

[Jade Warshaw]

So you have 30,000 saved, 4,000 in debt. What about her? Because you mentioned medical school. So tell me about her situation.

[Caller (Tyler)]

Student loans. I know she has about 20,000 and.

[Dr. John Deloney]

She cast she's cash flowing. Medical school?

[Caller (Tyler)]

Yes.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Wow, man, good on y' all.

[Caller (Tyler)]

Oh, thank you. And right now, bro, give her whatever.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Wedding she wants, man. You're gonna want to hang on to this one. Y' all are casual in medical school, dude.

[Caller (Tyler)]

Oh, yeah. And right now we're in her home that she bought maybe four years ago.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Caller (Tyler)]

And the home debt is 230,000.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, great. So again, she's just got the student loans. Nothing else. Just the 20,000 of student loans. Nothing else?

[Caller (Tyler)]

Just that in the home and credit card. I believe she has the same about 4,000 in credit card.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. Does she have any money saved? I'm guessing no, but tell me if she does.

[Caller (Tyler)]

Not much. Not much. So the savings right now is completely on me. She pretty much stopped whatever she, she had in the to getting through school.

[Jade Warshaw]

And when's the wedding? When's the date?

[Caller (Tyler)]

July. Next year.

[Jade Warshaw]

So you got one year, a year and a month to save this up.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Can I, can I change the question? Jade?

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Alan, can I ask Jade a question on your behalf?

[Caller (Tyler)]

Absolutely. Please.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay, so, Jade, tell me if I'm wrong here. Sometimes the question how much you spend on that ring, how much you spend on the wedding? It's as though the number is. It is the value. Instead of, did you get the ring you wanted? Or what do you want this wedding to look like.

[Jade Warshaw]

That's good.

[Dr. John Deloney]

And so when someone sits down and says, only got $10,000, what if y' all had a conversation about what do you want this wedding to look like and feel like, and who's going to come to this thing? And then y' all begin navigating, and it's. I hate to use this word, but it's negotiating. Like, do you got to get those flowers, or can you get these flowers? And we have to get Super Atomic Baker. Because you might find that when you both get what you want, actually it's 17 grand.

[Jade Warshaw]

I think that is a very good place to start, because I think you're right. There is. There's a vibe just as much as there is dollar signs. So maybe it's, hey, here we're on Pinterest, and we're looking at the things that we want. And then based off of that feeling, we're rolling it back and saying, okay, what is the budget that we have to accomplish that feeling? Because John is right. Like, there's good, better. Like there's good, better, best. Like there's different layers of the same thing. And if you pair them rightly together, it can still be very, very nice. So I think John is asking a good question. Just going back to the numbers, like, just purely numbers for a moment. I. I got to say that I do tend to go on your side, Alan. $30,000 in the face of $28,000 of debt. Yeah. It's probably better to spend between 10 or 12 or, you know, somewhere in that range, because I want you guys to pay this debt off. And I think that that's fair enough. And I think it's somewhere meeting in the middle. If you said 10, she said 25, maybe you land at 15.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Or maybe you say this, maybe you say, hey, look, here's value number one for me heading into this marriage, I want to not owe anybody any money. And So I got 30 grand. We're going to the. We're going to pretend as though the day we get married, we're going to write a check for your student loans. And I know you're about to be a doctor. I know you've already bought your own home, but right now, let's deal in what we got in front of us. We just talked to a guy, a previous caller, who would have had the same conversation about what he was going to make after law school, and he struggled to pass the bar. Right. So let's don't count our chickens for the hatch, but that means we got $2,000 in an emergency fund. Like, if we're just. If we're talking about the day we get married, we're going to pay off each other's debt. So how much could you look at her in the eye and say, I'm going to go earn this money so we can cash flow this thing over the next year. And that means we're both going to sacrifice with what we spend, what we buy, and whatever. She's going to school, you're going to be working extra. Maybe you take on a second job and say, I'm going to work like crazy to see what we can. What I can get done. Do you get what I'm saying? That way there's a conversation about this money isn't going to fall from the sky. And I'm not. I'm not willing to borrow $25,000 for something that we can't afford. But I do want to give you a nice thing. So I'm gonna tell you I'm gonna work real hard for this because I know you're in med school and it's gonna take up all your time. Can we be realistic about what's a dollar amount? We're actually gonna have him in hand? Because I think Jade's right. You might be able to earn $25,000 on top of paying everything off. That sounds like a tall order, though. Or. Or you look at her and say, I'll go earn $25,000. I'm not gonna see you any weekends for the next year, but I'll go make it happen.

[Caller (Tyler)]

Yeah, I'm. Like I said, I'm sure it's a way that. That I could, you know, make it work and stick to it. But like I said, I'm just kind of stepping out of, you know, feeling comfortable spending, you know, more money than, you know, that was double what I've had in mind.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Let's don't do that. Because. Because here's the thing.

[Caller (Tyler)]

Compromising point.

[Dr. John Deloney]

It's kind of like this. If your boss says, hey, come in this afternoon. I'm gonna tell you about a raise I'm giving you. And you imagine the raise is 30 grand, and your boss gives you a raise of 20 grand. You walk out of that room feeling like he took $10,000 from you, even though we just gave you 20. Right? And so you sat down with a number of 10, and she said, 25, and you're like, double. And she sat down and was like, half. Right. The conversation is. Has nothing to do with what kind of wedding do we want to have. And more importantly, as Jade was getting to, well, how much money do we actually have?

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah. And you got to look at it. I mean, this is. Somebody's not going to like this. I get it. But it kind of is. You do like to weigh the opportunity costs on this. You've got 30 in cash. You've got 28 in debt. So if you were to spend all 30 on this wedding, or even 25, you have to then ask yourself, was I okay to go $23,000 into debt for this wedding? Because that's essentially what you're doing if you take this money and put it on the wedding versus putting it on the debt. I'm not telling you what you have do. I'm just telling you that's the way your mind needs to look at it. And you guys both have to be okay with that.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I would much rather see y' all, if y' all are my friends, have a small, fun, like, cheap wedding. And then when she's graduates from her residency and y' all can throw the party of a century, right? Because then y' all are rich.

[Caller (Tyler)]

That makes a lot of sense.

[Jade Warshaw]

It does. I, I, I, I tend to veer on this side. And I say this delicately, because as someone who was really looking forward to their wedding, it's very difficult to say, hey, what if you just go to the courthouse now, get a certificate, and then in three years, you wild out like that?

[Dr. John Deloney]

That's all I'm saying.

[Jade Warshaw]

But, but it's. It's fair advice. You know what I'm saying? It's fair advice.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Honestly, Alan, if I was you, that's what I would do. I'd say, let's go to courthouse this weekend. Let's have a big fancy dinner for five of our closest friends this weekend, and we're gonna announce to everybody that we're married, and then we're gonna blow it out in three years. The other side of it is my wedding was very inexpensive.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Dr. John Deloney]

And it was a blast. Yeah, I wouldn't change a second of it.

[Jade Warshaw]

Or you both just go hard in the paint. You go ham for the next 12 months and earn that money. And earn that money, and then you both get what you want, and there's no sacrifice other than your time to get said money foreign. Hey, guys, what's up? It's Jade Warshaw. And look, if there's anybody who knows about student loan debt, it's me. My husband and I had $280,000 of it, but we were able to dig ourselves out and you can, too. If your student loan payment and interest rate are burying you, refinancing could be the solution. Now, I recommend contacting my friends at Laurel Road today through their online application. You can get an initial rate quote in less than five minutes. And if you have a more complex situation, you can schedule 30 minutes to talk to an actual human being. Thank goodness Laurel Road makes it simple. There are no fees involved and you could save thousands over the life of your loan. Remember, you should only refinance if it makes sense and you your situation. So if you're looking for a low rate or a shorter term so that you can pay off these student loans fast, talk to my friends at Laurel Road about their competitive interest rates and how you could actually get a lower rate by signing up for autopay. Listen, nobody's coming to save you from your student loan debt. If you want it gone, you can't mess around. Go to LaurelRoad.com Ramsey to find out more about student loan refinancing. Again, that's LaurelRoad.com Ramsey. If you're tired of living paycheck to paycheck, wondering where the heck is your money going? Your first step is to get on a budget. I'm trying to tell you. Our team is hosting a free budgeting training this month via Every Dollar, which is the best budgeting app out there. We talk about it all the time because we really do believe that it's the best. And if you go to this webinar, you're going to learn step by step how to make your budget and how to stick to your budget, which is really the hard part, right? Sticking to it. But we'll tell you how to do that. Plus you'll be able to get your biggest questions answered. The team will be on there and they'll do a live Q A. So you'll be able to drop your question in. Ask them, they'll answer it. And just remember, though, that the spots are limited. So you gotta sign up for this thing and you can do that. You can sign [e-mail] webinar. Lots of people have gone through these trainings and they will say that it's the best thing that's ever happened to them.

[Dr. John Deloney]

John, I love it.

[Jade Warshaw]

All right.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay. Can we say this? I just have to say this out loud along that thing, that training.

[Jade Warshaw]

Go for it.

[Dr. John Deloney]

The number of people, it's not insignificant, who are very, very successful in their business, whether it's medical, nutritional, whether it's physical, mental health, whatever, okay? Who call and Say, hey, man. Kind of him haul around and then say, yo, can you help me with a budget?

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Dr. John Deloney]

And they. They can cure people. They can fix things. Some of the top talents on the planet go to them and they say, I need some help with this 100. There's no shame in this thing. That's why I love that training. There's. That's right. Like sitting down and just saying, I know I'm good over here, but I'm embarrassed to say I don't know how to do. Make this budget thing work. I'm. I get frustrated. I get triggered. Whatever. Like, in those trainings are not like lo fi for dumb dumbs. Right? No, it's for everybody struggling.

[Jade Warshaw]

I say it all the time. Budgets are like toothbrushes. Everybody needs one. Everybody. Without it, what would happen?

[Dr. John Deloney]

And there's adults that go. And their dentist is like, yeah, you're not brushing right?

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Like, you learn how you learn.

[Jade Warshaw]

Things get. They get ratchet. They get messed up if you don't have it right. So a bunch budgets the same way. No matter how much money you have, no mat. No matter how little money you have. Everybody needs a budget. Everybody needs a plan for their money. And that's really all it is, is you deciding ahead of time. Here's what I'm gonna do with my money. That's really it. That's it. It's not a thing that's for broke people or for rich people or for.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Poor people or for smart people or dumb people.

[Jade Warshaw]

Everybody. Yeah, everybody. All right, that being said, really good point, John. Let's go to Tyler in Dallas, Texas. What's up, Tyler?

[Caller (Tyler)]

Hello.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Hey, what's up, man?

[Caller (Tyler)]

Hello. I'm. My question is, I got engaged about a year ago, and my fiance got in a mortgage with her mother about 20 years ago, and her mother is missing payments, and we want to refinance our house, and we can't because her mother is missing payments on her house. Is there any way she can get out of the mortgage with her mother?

[Jade Warshaw]

Has my guesses. I mean, the way to do that would be for her mom or for them to refinance the mortgage and take her off of it. That'd be the way to do it.

[Caller (Tyler)]

Has really bad credit and can't. And we have talked. She's talked to her mother, and her mother says the bank won't do it.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah. And so the other thing is, then she needs to sell that house and get into something that she can afford on her own.

[Caller (Tyler)]

Her mother doesn't live there anymore. Her Brothers do.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, even more reason.

[Dr. John Deloney]

It doesn't matter. Sell the house.

[Caller (Tyler)]

Her mother's in bad health. She just had a stroke last year.

[Jade Warshaw]

I'm sorry.

[Caller (Tyler)]

And she's in pretty bad health and we want out of it in the worst kind of way.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay? So, yeah, even more reason to put some pedal to the metal on this and make her understand. Hey, you're not even living here anymore. This is affecting us on a personal level. We need to sell this property. The brothers, I'm assuming, are grown and can do grown things and go live in their own space and pay for it.

[Caller (Tyler)]

Her brothers are alcoholics and not your.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Problem for the purpose of this call at all.

[Caller (Tyler)]

And yes, I am sick of it.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes.

[Caller (Tyler)]

When I got with my wife, my fiance, 10 years ago, I told her mother, if you want my wife to keep or my fiance, we consider ourselves husband and wife. And I says, you need to put my wife on this mortgage or on. On a deed so that when you die, we get it. And she says, oh, no, I want my sons to get this too, not just you, okay? We're completely out of it because we moved to Texas and they're in Pennsylvania. So, I mean, we're not getting the same.

[Jade Warshaw]

The next thing you can do. And I hate this because it's family business and it's going to mess up the family. But it sounds like the family's already pretty messy. You could try to get a judge to look at it and try to force the sale since she's not living in it. This. The. Your fiance's not living in it. And basically squatters are living in it because one of the owners doesn't want them in the house.

[Caller (Tyler)]

She lets them live there.

[Jade Warshaw]

And I've told your mother, your fiance.

[Caller (Tyler)]

Well, my. My fiance is not on a deed.

[Jade Warshaw]

So she's on the mortgage. She's not on the deed.

[Caller (Tyler)]

Exactly.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, my Lord. So she just co Signed this thing?

[Dr. John Deloney]

She just co. Signed for your mom?

[Caller (Tyler)]

She was young and dumb.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Well, I mean, yeah. I mean, it's. You don't have to call her names. It just was what it was. And when most of us, when our mothers come and beg us to do something, we do it. Because it doesn't even mean we're dumb. It just means we just want to love our moms.

[Caller (Tyler)]

She was 21 years old.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

She didn't know. She didn't know what she was doing. Yeah. She didn't know any better. And now it's coming back to bite her in the butt. So the three. I mean, those were I. Tyler, those are the three options.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

None of them are like Dave says.

[Caller (Tyler)]

He was young.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah. Here's the deal. There's no good option here. So there's no. There's no way that you get through this without somebody getting their feelings hurt or somebody getting angry. So just knowing that on the front end, that's it. Y' all can keep paying this house. You can pay it off and let her alcoholic brothers just burn it to the ground. Dude, that's option one. Option two, do what we want to.

[Caller (Tyler)]

Pay our own house.

[Jade Warshaw]

But you know what he's saying? He's saying you can either leave this and it's going to destroy your credit and keep you from having the life you want, or you can do that. One of the three things that we talked about. It sounds like the first two were kind of non. Starts to your point. I wasn't there, but based on. Off your reaction, it seemed like you tried that and it didn't work. And then the third thing is.

[Caller (Tyler)]

Yeah, we're gonna lose our house.

[Jade Warshaw]

I. That's why I'm sure I'll help you, bud.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Like, you are gonna lose.

[Caller (Tyler)]

I understand. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I'm. Yeah, yeah.

[Caller (Tyler)]

I'm a little scared myself.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I got you.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. We're with you. But what we're saying is there isn't. You're feeling it. There is an urgency to this. So if the first two options didn't work, you got to get in front of a judge and say this. We've tried to force. We've. We've. We've tried to work with them. The mother is failing health. Pretty soon, she's not even going to be able to decide. And these guys are living in the house. You've got to have an external party look at this and force the sale of that house.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Who's got the. Who has your. Her mother's medical power of attorney? Does your wife have that?

[Caller (Tyler)]

I don't know that anybody does.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay. Is she living in. In a facility or is she living at a home somewhere?

[Caller (Tyler)]

She's living with her boyfriend.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Husband.

[Caller (Tyler)]

Whatever you want to call him. They're not really married. She's living with another man.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay.

[Caller (Tyler)]

Who's adjacent property.

[Jade Warshaw]

So she's just said it's okay if my credit goes up in flames while these brothers live here. I can live with. Yeah. She's like, I can live with boyfriend. He'll take care of me. And you guys. I mean, you guys are feeling the brunt of this 100 today. I'm gonna look into this with a lawyer and say, hey.

[Caller (Tyler)]

Yeah, I was just offered a new interest rate is 7.25 on my property, and I'm paying 9% now, which is a 300 difference in payment.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Caller (Tyler)]

But I can't get it because my income is only 1100amonth.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Caller (Tyler)]

And my payment's a thousand dollars a month.

[Dr. John Deloney]

How are you eating, man?

[Caller (Tyler)]

Well, my fiance paying the bills, and I'm just paying the mortgage.

[Jade Warshaw]

So here. Here's the hard part. The hard part here.

[Caller (Tyler)]

I'm upside down.

[Jade Warshaw]

I. I know, I know. I know the hard part. And. And this is spilled milk. But you guys probably shouldn't have bought a house yet while this was. Hey, take it off speaker for me, okay, Tyler? Because it's echoing back.

[Caller (Tyler)]

I'm not on speaker.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay? So the hard part is this is spilled milk. But you guys getting into a house before this was settled, that's. That's really why you're feeling it, because you. This was a huge factor in your ability to be able to carry a mortgage, and now it's biting you in the butt. And so I would say that if you can, if you're not seeing a light at the end of this tunnel with your mom and the fiance and the brothers, then you're gonna have to. You might have to get out of your house before it gets foreclosed or before you lose it. If you're behind on payments, you can't refinance it. You don't have the credit. This is just going to continue to destroy your credit. And maybe we can get out of it before it goes from bad to worse. I am so sorry.

[Dave Ramsey]

Statistics show that half of Americans don't have enough life insurance or they don't have any at all. I don't understand this, John. Why don't people want to take care of their family? They think they're going to die or something.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Well, I used to be one of those guys. I didn't even think about it. And one of my buddies said, hey, the only reason to not have life insurance is if you hate your wife and kids. And I immediately went and got term life insurance.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's a gut punch.

[Dr. John Deloney]

And. Oh, you're telling me. And for decades, Dave, I've sat across people who've lost a spouse, they've lost somebody important to them.

[Dave Ramsey]

Me, too.

[Dr. John Deloney]

They don't know what to do next.

[Jade Warshaw]

Me, too.

[Dave Ramsey]

I mean, you're gonna have a crisis here, and, you know, you got two options. While you're sitting and talking to a young widow, she's concerned about how she's gonna invest all this money properly and not mess this up or she's concerned how she's gonna eat tomorrow.

[Dr. John Deloney]

That's exactly.

[Dave Ramsey]

These are the two options. And take care of your dadgum family.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Term life insurance can replace income, pay off debts, cover funeral expenses. So your family can actually have the opportunity to just be sad.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Dr. John Deloney]

To just miss you.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's exactly what it's supposed to be. It's saying I love you to your family. Term life insurance, Jeff Zander and the team at Zander makes it easy and affordable. I've used them personally for 25 years. They're the only people I trust. Go to Xander.com or call 800-356-4282.

[Jade Warshaw]

If you love the show, thank you for listening and be sure to share it with somebody. It does a lot for us. When you like and subscribe and share the show, obviously it helps get the word out there. But also on the different social platforms, YouTube, all the podcast platforms, it helps push it up in the algorithm, which is good because it serves up this content to not only you, but a lot of other future listeners. So that's really helpful. So. So thank you for doing that. John, what are you listening to right now that you really like?

[Dr. John Deloney]

What am I listening to? Shows wise. Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

Share something with me so they can know what it seems like.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Oh, man. Like what show? Like what podcast and stuff?

[Jade Warshaw]

Anything.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I mean, I've been listening to audiobooks on Spotify and I've been listening to my same podcast I usually listen to. Listen to Peter TS the Drive. Listen to my buddy Sean Ryan show. I just like. Okay, Those are the ones I like. What about you?

[Jade Warshaw]

I mean, I was trying to set you up to show the people how to do this.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I don't know what you're asking me.

[Jade Warshaw]

I was trying to say, hey, Jade, I've really been listening to this great podcast. It's called, you know, I don't know. I listen to Mel Robbins. I love this podcast. I have a great one.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah. By Peter Attia.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah. So that's what it looks like. You just really. You like Peter Attia?

[Dr. John Deloney]

I do.

[Jade Warshaw]

That's all.

[Dr. John Deloney]

You like him?

[Jade Warshaw]

Boring.

[Dr. John Deloney]

You're out of your mind. Not smart enough.

[Jade Warshaw]

Listen, let me tell you, I downloaded Outlive and I was falling asleep.

[Dr. John Deloney]

You're out of your mind. That's one of the greatest books written of my time. How about this? Let them. There you go. There's. That's the whole thing.

[Jade Warshaw]

I love it. I love. Yes, you're right, I.

[Dr. John Deloney]

There you go.

[Jade Warshaw]

What are you trying to say, John? What is for smart people? And one is it is. I'd Rather listen to Dr. Mark Hyman on the same topics, though. All right. Gosh, I'm sorry.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I don't know what's happening right now. This is the show melting down.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, let's go to Ashley. She could save us. Ashley's in Orlando, Florida. What's up, Ashley?

[Caller (Ashley)]

Hi there.

[Jade Warshaw]

Hi.

[Caller (Tyler)]

What up?

[Caller (Ashley)]

I'm Ashley. My husband and I have been listening to you guys for a while. We actually used one of your financial advisors for a little bit until we created a budget and it was out of budget, so we've been doing it.

[Jade Warshaw]

On our own now.

[Caller (Ashley)]

So we are both Navy veterans. We just got out within a year ago. We had two stable streams of incomes, two careers. There's a few bad financial decisions, but, like, we each had a $30,000 motorcycle. Even we didn't do it together. We just happened to come in with it. I had 25,000 of school debt. We've cleared about 28,000 of credit card debt. We have no credit cards anymore. They're all paid off. But, you know, over. And we did get rid of one motorcycle. We've been trying to get the other. It's just very upside down. So the crux of our life is we have five kids and just found out we have number six on the way. I'm also in the Navy Reserves to keep insurance and the things I have a hard time. I've listened to Dave a few times talking about how to really lock it down and knock out your debt. And for those in situations where one doesn't work, it was very rarely, like, in a situation with a ton of kids like us, they'd be like, you both need to go to work. And we do supplement. We do Uber if we need to when the kids are sleeping. I do twitch streaming when they're sleeping and make a little extra.

[Jade Warshaw]

What is your income combined right now?

[Caller (Ashley)]

So he doesn't work. He got out. I got the job first. So I've been working. I make about 115 a year between reserves, my job and the side hustles. That's a pretty stable number. 115.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Why doesn't he work? Is he a full time stay at home dad?

[Caller (Ashley)]

Yeah, he. He stays at home. We did try to have him work, but it was very. They're all under school age. They all had to go to daycare.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, wow. What are their ages?

[Caller (Ashley)]

So the oldest is turning seven on Sunday.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Caller (Ashley)]

Be the Only school, age one. Then it goes. So it's. Yeah.

[Dr. John Deloney]

So you have five kids? Seven and under.

[Caller (Ashley)]

Yes. On the way.

[Jade Warshaw]

Wow. Wow. It's different at Yalls house right now.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Listen, yo, I was just. I was just telling somebody my house is crazy. I got two kids and a couple of dogs. So I retract my statement. Your house is for real.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. So dad's staying at home. You're. You're out there hustling, making115,000 a year. How can we help you today?

[Caller (Ashley)]

So I work from home. He's home. We have this amazing opportunity to be home with our kids. And we've been at this, you know, been in this giant spiral. We've taken all of. Taking care of all the little things we can do. But now we've only got the big scary things left.

[Dr. John Deloney]

What are they?

[Caller (Ashley)]

So my motorcycle.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Not a scary thing. Sell it. That's done. Hold on. Not a scary thing? You're a pregnant mother of five. Motorcycle's gone.

[Jade Warshaw]

Tell us how upside down you are in it.

[Caller (Ashley)]

So I've tried his. We were able to settle with the insurance. They just wanted the bike and they cleared it and it was but yours.

[Jade Warshaw]

What do you owe on it and what's it worth?

[Caller (Ashley)]

20K. If I sold it, I would be 20k upside down. So I could make 10,000 on it from every dealer, every blue book, every, you know, from trying. And then I would. So I owe almost 30 on it.

[Jade Warshaw]

You owe 30 and you can only sell it for 10? That's what you're telling me how?

[Caller (Ashley)]

Yes, I've tried for like the last three years. How old is it thing? It's a 2019. And I bought it, you know, fairly new at the time. And it's just been this dead weight, you know, following me, haunting me.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Caller (Ashley)]

I've prioritized the other debts first.

[Jade Warshaw]

What else? What are the other debts? So you got. You've got a. The motorcycle. We know the story on that. What else? What else is there?

[Caller (Ashley)]

So we have. I have 25k school debt.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Caller (Ashley)]

So I lost one of our kiddos. One. My oldest. And I had a hard time in school. I kept failing classes and lost concentration. So I kept pushing through anyways, just repeating them until I could pass.

[Jade Warshaw]

Did you end up getting the degree?

[Caller (Ashley)]

I just can't get it from the school because I owe them 8,000. But yes, I finished all but one class. I just need to take that one class.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, so one class until you graduate. But in the Meantime you've got 25,000 in student loans. Any other debt we should know about, Ashley?

[Caller (Ashley)]

Yes. Yeah, two others. And they're all, like, big chunks.

[Jade Warshaw]

Just tell me what they are, mama.

[Caller (Ashley)]

I owe. So the 8,000 for. To unlock my transcripts just due to the school.

[Dr. John Deloney]

So you have an outstanding balance with the school?

[Caller (Ashley)]

Yes.

[Dr. John Deloney]

It's not a student loan. You just owe them.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah, it's not a loan. That's what it takes to get your transcripts. Okay, keep going.

[Caller (Ashley)]

And then after the third, kiddo, we pulled them out of private school and said, we can't afford this no more. And. But we still owe a balance to that school. And we actually. We've been paying all the debts, but that was one of the last.

[Jade Warshaw]

How much is that one? Ashley, I want to make sure we have time to help you. How much is that one?

[Caller (Ashley)]

That's 10,000.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Caller (Ashley)]

And they actually served us with papers on that one. We're trying to get it.

[Jade Warshaw]

So 10,000 to the private school, 25,000 in student loans. The motorcycle. You're upside down. Anything else? 8, 000 school transcripts. Anything else?

[Caller (Ashley)]

I think that's all the big. That's all the big things left.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, so my screen says that. Are you wrong to prioritize time with family over kids? That's what my screen says.

[Caller (Ashley)]

Like sending dad to work. You know, like, we have this amazing balance. The kids are thriving.

[Jade Warshaw]

You're broke, you know, And. And let me tell you. Let me tell you something, because people get this wrong time. For most of us, John, we. We will all say, what are your top priorities? And for most of us listening, it probably goes somewhere along, like God or like, you know, faith, family, faith. And then it's like my. My marriage. And that includes, like, it's kind of like my spouse, and then it's my kids. And then under that is like other ancillary things, right? But we forget that when you say, when you have that line item of family, there's a bunch of bullet points under that. That's like, okay, family. The way I prioritize my family can be a number of ways that it can be I spend time with them. It can be I work out every day so that I'm here for them, and I eat right, so that I can, you know, keep a healthy weight so I can pick them up and wrestle with them. And it can be I. I get a job so I can pay our bills on time and keep the lights on, right? So there's all these bullet points underneath. And in a given season, you get to decide how do how am I prioritized? Because I'm always prioritizing my family. But in this season, which of those bullet points underneath prioritizing my family am I going to put first? Because they're all going to fight to have the top spot and you get to decide. And in this season, you taking care of your family and loving them well is for a season. We're going to work hard and we're going to pay off debt in order to make this happen. And that is how we're prioritizing our family. We're giving them peace financially. And that's something that has the ability to change your entire family tree.

[Dave Ramsey]

I've been helping people get out of debt and change their lives for over 30 years. So I know change isn't always easy, but it's worth it. And here's change that's actually easy and worth it. Switching to Boost Mobile Boost gives you nationwide 5G coverage for reliable calls and streaming. And their plans start at just 25 bucks a month for unlimited talk, text and data. With Boost Mobile, there's no junk fees, no contracts, and they offer a 30 day money back guarantee. Plus their customer service team is made up of real people, people, not robots. So switching is easy. So go to boost mobile.com Ramsey that's boostmobile.com Ramsey Rachel, do you ever get.

[Jade Warshaw]

These sketchy text messages that are like, hey, you need to update your address and verify so we can get you the package you didn't order?

[Caller (Alan)]

Yes, I have George Sketchy and never trust him.

[Jade Warshaw]

And that's why we recommend Delete me. They help with that?

[Caller (Alan)]

Yeah, they do. Delete Me actually goes in and removes your information from data broker websites. And it is an incredible service that everyone needs.

[Jade Warshaw]

And there's a lot of shady companies out there that solely exist to sell your personal data to bad guys. And that means your info, like your email address, your home address, your kids names, your name, everything is just out there for scammers and spammers to find.

[Caller (Alan)]

So much.

[Jade Warshaw]

But Delete Me will delete your data, hence the name. It's gone. They'll wipe it out for you so you can sleep easy.

[Caller (Alan)]

That's right. And then once they remove your information, then they're going to send you a detailed report telling you where they found your information, when they removed it, how many hours they've saved you. I mean, it is incredible. So detailed and it's beautiful.

[Jade Warshaw]

Get this. So far they've reviewed 27,000 listings on my behalf, removed me from 240 data broker sites and saved me, 77 hours of time. It's incredible.

[Caller (Alan)]

Absolutely amazing. And Winston and I now get fewer texts, weird emails, spam calls, all of it.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Love it.

[Jade Warshaw]

So you got to be sure to check them out. Ramsey fans get 20% off their annual plans. Just go to JoinDeleteMe.com Ramsey that comes up to less than nine bucks a month. Super affordable.

[Caller (Alan)]

Again, that's joins me.com Ramsey. Make sure to check it out, you guys.

[Jade Warshaw]

You're listening to the Ramsey show. I'm Jade Warshaw. Next to me, the person that is making faces. If you're watching on YouTube is Dr. John DeLoney taking calls about your life and your money.

[Dr. John Deloney]

There's some awesome kids out here in the audience today.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah, it was really cute. You would have to see it on YouTube though.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah, it was really cute.

[Jade Warshaw]

He doesn't just make faces. Well, sometimes he does, but we're taking calls. Your life, your money. I'll hit you up on the money side, John. Tell the folks what you do. They already know you're fast.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Famous. I just. I'm just here long for. For Jade's ride.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, we're going to the phone.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I could have said that. Any weirder. Sorry about that.

[Jade Warshaw]

It was weird.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I'm here all co hosting the Ramsey show with my friend Jade.

[Jade Warshaw]

Love it. Love that for both of us. Sarah is in Portland, Oregon.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Couldn't have said that any worse.

[Caller (Ashley)]

Hi, thanks for taking my call.

[Jade Warshaw]

Hi. How can we help?

[Caller (Ashley)]

Well, I have the opportunity to buy my parents business.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Do you want.

[Caller (Ashley)]

Right. Have.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Do you want it?

[Caller (Ashley)]

It's a great opportunity.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Doesn't matter. Do you want it?

[Caller (Ashley)]

Yes and no.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay. So my neighbor has this car for sale. It's like an old like whatever car. It's amazing. And he's offering an incredible price. I just don't want it. Like, do you want this business?

[Caller (Ashley)]

Yeah. But is that car potentially gonna.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.

[Caller (Ashley)]

Financial freedom. It does.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, I love this call already.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yes. Okay, I interrupted you keep going.

[Caller (Ashley)]

That's okay. So I. I already have a decent career that allows me to work from home, which is great for me. So I'm wondering if you know, this potential to, you know, grow this business, you know, and potentially make a huge profit on it, is worth the, the stress of owning your own business.

[Jade Warshaw]

Are you single?

[Caller (Ashley)]

Yes.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. Would you. Let's pretend. This is the way I would walk through it in my mind. And I think it's kind of along the lines of what John was saying. So you've got this great career. Is it did you go to school to do this career or you just landed in it? What is it? It.

[Caller (Ashley)]

I. I kind of ended up in it by accident. But it does have a. I will say neither my current career nor this potential one is something that I set out to do in life or I'm passionate about, but they're both really good opportunities.

[Jade Warshaw]

So that's. That's where I was going. Because sometimes it's like some things can be serendipitous, and they just land in your. Your. Your lap, and it's per. Like, you know, it's perfect. You're like. Like, this job for me, I'm like, oh, perfect. I did not set out on this path. I was in entertainment. But this aligns with the things I love and what I agree with. And it was a previous hobby of mine, so I. It made sense. Right? It wasn't me just going, well, it's a good opportunity. I should just take it. And so that's what I would guard against, Especially since you said you don't have passion about it. And I think that it's one thing to become an entrepreneur and a business owner, but if you ain't got passion about it, it's about to. That'll dig you a grave in two seconds. Like, that's tough.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I don't want to look back on my life and say, I took a series of opportunities, but ones that took my. Took my soul from me. They gave me some money, but they took my soul from me. If you told me, hey, I owe $150,000, and I have an opportunity to do something that I don't like for two years and be done with this, I'd be all in.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah. Do it because it's temporary.

[Dr. John Deloney]

What's the job? What's the business?

[Caller (Ashley)]

It's a small plumbing business.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, Lord. Wait a second.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I'm going from being a single woman working at home. I like my life. Now I'm gonna go be a toilet. Okay. Are you?

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Caller (Ashley)]

I know nothing about the industry or owning a business. It would all be new to me. And to be honest, it sounds exciting. And also all this with the caveat that I'm not passionate about my current career either.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I'm giving you the hundred percent. You have to do this. Yes. Go buy this plumbing business.

[Caller (Ashley)]

You say do it.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay. Here's what I'm doing. I'm doing an old counselor trick. I'm just smashing the other side of the teeter totter. Okay, go buy it. Does that excite you? Or you're like, okay, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Does that excite you or do you think I am going to be plunging other people's cha cha cha for the next five years of my life, just paying back my parents and paying money.

[Jade Warshaw]

To plunge other people's cha cha cha. I need to know how much this Datgum business is going to cost.

[Caller (Ashley)]

They're thinking somewhere between 1 and 1.5 million.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Oh gosh. Where do they get that number?

[Caller (Ashley)]

They've been talking with their financial advisor, tax attorney.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay, I want, there's, there's people who do business appraisals, kind of like real estate. I want you to find one and tell your parents, I love y' all. I want to get a number on this from a third party professional that will, they'll do a net present value of the business. And it's just, it's just a numerical calculation. Here's what it's made in the past, here's what we think it will make in the next two years, four years. And that's going to determine the value. I promise you. Unless you're like, my, my son's gonna buy my old truck from me. We looked it up and I'm giving him a deal on it because he's my son. Usually when it comes. Okay, but usually when it maybe. Usually when it comes to parents selling their business to their kid, it's one of two things. They give you a steal or they think it's worth way more than it actually is because it's their life. It's their life's love. You get what I'm saying? So that's why I want to take. If this is a million dollar business transaction, I don't, I would not want to blow up my family and my relationship with my parents over this. And so I'm going to get a, like, let's go ahead and get an agent that's going to sign off on this and say, hey, we did a net present value on this comp on this business. We went through the numbers. This is what we think this is worth and this is what it would fetch in the open market. And then dad can decide and mom can decide whether we're going to cut you a deal on it. Here's what it's worth.

[Caller (Ashley)]

All that, right? Yep.

[Dr. John Deloney]

It's a million dollar business purchase. Think of it that way. And by the way, for all that is holy, please don't go borrow a million dollars to buy this from them.

[Caller (Ashley)]

Yeah, yeah, we've kind of talked about that. That they, they would likely carry the Loan and.

[Dr. John Deloney]

No, no, no, don't do that, don't do that, don't do that. They get a. If you're gonna do any kind of plan, they get a percentage of profit only.

[Jade Warshaw]

Until they're paid back.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Until they're paid back.

[Caller (Ashley)]

Not a consistent amount every month.

[Dr. John Deloney]

It's got to be a percentage of profit because if it's not, then you don't make a profit one month, they're still going to be knocking on your door. The bank's going to be knocking on your door. Now you're in a mess.

[Jade Warshaw]

I just got to raise a flag on this one. Sarah, don't buy this. Just view me for a moment as just your best friend sitting down. Like the person who always tells you the truth. Right? You've got that friend. You have. Yep. What I want to ask you is what makes you think that you'll be able to just jump in, run a business and grow it, for crying out loud, from scratch? Because your parents have had this business for however many years they've made the mistakes, they've, you know, had ups and downs. It, it's not a straight line to success. And for you to kind of hop in cold. I. For 1.5 million. And if we're really, I don't know how they did a valuation on this, but if they really just said, hey, we're doing this at three to four times net profit, like for you, like that's all right. Like that's not a crazy, it's not a crazy opportunity. In my mind, it's, it's just a normal business. Like I, I also want to frame that in the right way. Like this is not the opportunity of a lifetime. This is just a normal kind of moment. Mom and pop, small business.

[Dr. John Deloney]

How many employees does it have?

[Caller (Ashley)]

Six.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah. If it's value, if it's at 1 to 1.5 million, like it's, y' all are trucking along, like, I don't think this is the opportunity of a lifetime, that it might seem like, you know, you as the owner, maybe you make a hundred thousand dollars a year or, you know, 150, but I, especially after.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Paying out six full time plumbers.

[Jade Warshaw]

That's what I'm saying. I don't.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Dealing with their HR issues and their insurance issues when they bust somebody's pipe. And yeah, this doesn't sound like it's for you.

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[Jade Warshaw]

So are you staying on track with the baby steps? You can find out if you hear us on here from time to time. We're always talking about a a financial framework that we call the baby steps here. Here. It's seven steps that you walk through to find your the the easiest and most risk free path to building wealth for your family. Seven steps. And if you want to know, hey, where am I at? Am I doing okay with these baby steps? You can take a quick quiz to check your progress and receive a personalized plan that's just for you. You can just head over to the show notes and click on the link that's titled are you on track with the baby steps? And you can complete that quick is all right. Let's go to Mike in West Palm Beach, Florida. My hood. What's going on Mike?

[Caller (Mike)]

Hey, thank you so much for having me on the show guys.

[Jade Warshaw]

You're welcome. How can we help?

[Caller (Mike)]

I have a question. I'm trying to see if you can guys can help me navigate this both financially and relationally. My dad is in quite a little bit of debt. He is retiring about 65 years old now. And I'll kind of throw you some numbers to give you a decent picture of. Yeah. So he has about 85,000 in personal loans, another 5 in credit card, and then he makes about 4,000 net a month, about 48 a year.

[Jade Warshaw]

I would say he's still working, or that's what he's drawing.

[Caller (Mike)]

No, he has a pension. He's. That's what he gets from his pension.

[Jade Warshaw]

Gotcha.

[Caller (Mike)]

He also gave some bonuses at the end of the year. So between October and December, about. I would say send 7,000 to $12,000 in bonuses on top of that.

[Jade Warshaw]

How much?

[Caller (Mike)]

7,000 to 12,000. I will have the exact number, but roughly around that.

[Jade Warshaw]

And that's between October to December.

[Caller (Mike)]

Correct.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, gotcha.

[Caller (Mike)]

So the situation that he's seen, his monthly payment for the loans, it's about 2,500amonth.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Caller (Mike)]

And you can see how making 4,000, that can be an issue. So he's reached out to me and my brothers for some help, and we're trying to see what the best course of action here would be to help him out. And what he's asking from us, ideally, would be to. For us to lend him about a thousand dollars a month so that he can repay us at the end of the year with the bonuses that he gets, which I just want to get your take on that. You think that will help?

[Jade Warshaw]

Is he. Is he healthy?

[Caller (Mike)]

He had a little medical situation last year, had a heart attack. It was minor, but mostly he's healthy. He retired at 49 and.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh. So that's. That. That puts some context around that. He retired at 49. I feel as though. And John, you're looking at me, Mike, I feel like if I were in your shoes, if I had a father who was 49 when he retired, he decided in that moment, I'm okay with $48,000 a year as my pension. And I'm doing this knowing that I have debt. I would say you need to go back to work.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah, I. He's put you and your brother in an incredibly awkward position. And on behalf of dads everywhere, I'm sorry that he did that to you, because dads aren't supposed to do that to their boys. Like, I hate that y' all are in this position. Has he just not done anything for 20 something years?

[Caller (Mike)]

No. I mean, he does have, let's say, a farm that he grows some mangoes and stuff, but this is just hobby stuff.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah. Yeah. So he just piddles away his time. He just kind of spends on buys what he wants to. And now he's annoyed at the payments and he's even going to have the money this year. He's just annoyed at the payments. So he just hollers at you two to bail him out?

[Caller (Mike)]

Yeah, yeah, mostly. Well, we had no idea of any of this, as you can imagine. We had no idea of his financial situation until the medical situation came up and he was pretty much. He told us, hey, here all the logins to all of my accounts and all my stuff and is he broke the payments with what I have in my account. Whatever you decide to do, it's fine with me. And that's how we got the picture of his financial situation.

[Dr. John Deloney]

So have you all had a reckoning after that day? Because even that move is, is a lot. It's hard to watch your dad be sick and wonder if he's going to die. But then to him, for him to say, hey whatever dude, you just take care of it, that's a lot too.

[Jade Warshaw]

That's tough.

[Dr. John Deloney]

And that at least warrants a follow up conversation with. All right, hey dad, you're broke, man. Like, like what's your plan here? Right. You get what I'm saying?

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Caller (Mike)]

Sorry. Yes.

[Jade Warshaw]

What's his living situation?

[Caller (Mike)]

Live in the U. S. So.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay.

[Caller (Mike)]

Living situation. They have a paid off house.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Caller (Mike)]

I went back home and we have a conversation about that and I propose maybe he could sell some of the properties, land that he has, like a farm. It's not a lot of money. I would say maybe 7 to $10,000.

[Dr. John Deloney]

That's exactly what he's asking you for.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah, correct. Yeah, I just think it doesn't need.

[Caller (Mike)]

To be repaid at the end of the year. But he said that that was his dream when he retired to be able to have that land in the future.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah, but was his dream also to go hit up his sons for money? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Like that's just, that's pride. That's ego, man.

[Jade Warshaw]

I, you know, I don't think I.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Would much rather my dad call me and say I've always had this dream to have a couple of acres with mango trees. I would love it if you and your, if, if you and, and my other siblings could get together and like I would actually be tempted to figure that out then, hey, I've got this dream. I know you guys are in your prime wealth building years. You guys want to start families, get married, forget y' all stuff can you bum me ten grand?

[Jade Warshaw]

I just.

[Dr. John Deloney]

That's just tough for me, man.

[Jade Warshaw]

And my thing is, like, he can work. He's not 85, he's 65. And he for sure has six good working years in him to say, okay, instead of asking, bum in a thousand bucks a month off my kids, let me at the very least go earn that myself. And if he really wants to get this debt paid off, you know, he can do something more. But I. This is your dad. You love him. This is your family. But at the same instance, like, there's a hard line that you kind of have to draw of. I didn't do this. Like, this is not. It would be. This is not mine cross to bear, you know, like, this is not my burden to carry. I. I don't think. And I don't think that's being callous. I just think that he made a decision at 49 years old very prematurely and has had many opportunities to about face and has chose not to do that. That.

[Dr. John Deloney]

And this is different in my book. Rather than if my dad called me or my mom called me and said, I don't have any food, sure. No shelter, then I would say, come.

[Jade Warshaw]

Live with me 100%.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I got you. We'll figure this out. And by the way, when you're in my house, here's how our house, my house runs. You're not going to come here and run my house. But I would be all about that. This isn't that. This is. I have a fantasy. I don't want to. I don't want to have a job. I don't want to do anything. I get these checks that come in a couple times a year. But, yeah, I want that money right now. Will y' all do that? And here's another question we haven't even asked you. Can you afford it? You got ten grand to spend?

[Caller (Mike)]

Yes and no. So right now, my wife is working very minimal because I'm helping her through her master's program. Well, it's basically just me right now.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I know that. You didn't answer my question. Do you have five or ten thousand dollars to write a check back?

[Caller (Mike)]

I do.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Okay.

[Caller (Mike)]

I do. But it's the money that I have saved up for in school.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah, it's earmarked for something else. So that means you don't have it. If it's earmarked for something else, that's a necessity. Like your wife's school that you said you're going to do. That means it's not extra or it's.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Actually, y' all decided y' all are going to do that with Yalls money.

[Jade Warshaw]

Uhhuh. Yeah. You definitely can't take her school money and say, hey, I'm going to give it to my dad who's been retired since he was 49. She would probably flip her lid. Right?

[Caller (Mike)]

Yeah. Yeah. Definitely not something that she'll be very happy about.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah, rightfully so. Rightfully so.

[Caller (Mike)]

And he's not even asking me for money that he's not going to return. But at the end of the day.

[Jade Warshaw]

I don't think, how can he return it.

[Dr. John Deloney]

He's got. He gets these bonuses at the end.

[Caller (Mike)]

Of the year, but then it's another form of the loan.

[Dr. John Deloney]

That's right.

[Caller (Mike)]

Which doesn't solve the problem.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Right. And loans, dude, that loans destroy. Look, he already put a. He put a wedge in Yalls father, son relationship by saying, hey, I know your wife's in school. I know y' all are thinking about having a family. I know you all are thinking these things. I don't care. I have this dream and I haven't wanted to work for 15 years. Will you send me some money? I'll get you back later. So he put a wedge in it. Don't further that wedge by creating a business transaction between the two of you. I'd rather you sit. Say, no, sir. I can't do that right now.

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[Caller (Alan)]

Hey, guys, Rachel Cruz here. All right, I'm about to say what everyone already knows, but budgeting is a good thing to do now. Actually, starting, well, that's where people freeze up. And you guys, it doesn't have to be that way. With the EveryDollar budgeting app, getting started is super easy and so is sticking to it. You can set up your first budget in less time than it takes to Go through the Chick Fil a drive thru. It's fast. And the best part, with unlimited budget categories, you can customize it to fit your life. Grocery runs, coffee runs or planning your next family trip. Whatever you have going on. Everydollar helps you see exactly what's happening with your money. You'll know what's coming in, what's going out and what's left over for some fun. Because let's be real, you need some fun in your budget. Everydollar keeps budgeting simple and stress free just the way you want it. So go download the app for free and get started today. Again, go download everydollar today.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Foreign.

[Jade Warshaw]

Today's question of the day is brought to you by Y Refi. So when life happens and those private student loans go into default, why Refi offers real possibilities, not judgment. Why Refi will help you explore a low fixed rate loan based on your unique circumstances. So go to yrefi.com Ramsey that's the letter. Letter y r e f y.com Ramsey may not be available in all states.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Today's question comes from Ryan in the great state of Texas. Ryan asked I'm 30 years old and I feel pressured to marry my girlfriend so she can stay in the country. We've been dating for a year and part of me thinks she might be the one. One. I'm just gonna stop right there. Ryan, there's no such thing. That's not a thing as the one.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, I thought you were gonna say as part of me do what I thought.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Oh, yeah. Part of me thinks she's the one. A quarter of me thinks she's all of the one. Yeah. No, but to be honest, I don't know how much she really loves me versus how much she just wants an easy way to stay in the country.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yikes.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yo, I really don't know what to do and I really need advice.

[Jade Warshaw]

Run, run, run away. Run away, baby.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I'm gonna turn you over to the relationship expert, Jade Warshaw. Jade.

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, man. Oh, you're the relationship.

[Dr. John Deloney]

What do you think Ryan should do here?

[Jade Warshaw]

Oh, gosh. Only he knows what's really going on. But my sense is if he's even asking the question, there's probably some of that that's there. Otherwise you wouldn't even think to ask the question. I don't feel like, but I've never, it's hard to know. I have never, never been in this situation. John.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Well, I, I, I can identify with the feeling of or the question of. And I get this a lot, which is if I'm even wondering, is this the right person?

[Jade Warshaw]

That's what I'm saying.

[Dr. John Deloney]

But. But I don't know many people who aren't the night before going, is this. Are we. Are this for sure? Are we for sure?

[Jade Warshaw]

I felt pretty good.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

The night before my wedding.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I know. And I'd say my wife did, too. She was like, listen, I'm marrying that dude, Rachel Cruz, we talked about.

[Jade Warshaw]

She's like, I was 100. And I was like, I hope this works out, but.

[Dr. John Deloney]

But it's a. It's a testament to me and my insecurities. Right.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Dr. John Deloney]

My concern for Ryan is he's having those natural, like, I don't know, man. I don't know.

[Jade Warshaw]

James, what about you? How are you feeling?

[Dr. John Deloney]

I was feeling 100 the whole time.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah, I felt 100, too. I know. Sam better have felt 100.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Have you met. James was like, really, really, really. Okay.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. That's what I'm saying. That's saying something.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah. Look at Jade. Jade better have. I mean, Sam better have been at 100. I'm telling you right now, he was.

[Jade Warshaw]

I'm already getting mad. It's not even real.

[Dr. John Deloney]

So here's the thing. I like. There's, like, to question, to wonder. I just want to back out.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Dr. John Deloney]

The idea of the one comes from that myth of a soul mate on the front end. There's just no such thing as that. It's not real. You're gonna have to decide. I'm gonna wade through my, my, my. I'm gonna. I'm gonna be all in on this thing. You're gonna have to decide that. And here's my bigger concern. If you have this big of a question, I want you to be able to ask it to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yes.

[Dr. John Deloney]

So if you have a concern, let's. Let's take. Let's take this, like, I have to leave the country. Let's take that off the table. That's huge. What if you find out she dated people in the past you didn't like? What if you found out she actually. I don't know if she actually finished college. She talks about it, but I don't know. Well, she doesn't.

[Jade Warshaw]

You just ask.

[Dr. John Deloney]

You find some things. Right. You just sit down and ask. Right. And sometimes it's a hard conversation, or, hey, your dad makes me feel uncomfortable. Like, let's ask that hard question so I'm less concerned with the answer or what the questions actually are when it comes to should I marry this person I'm more concerned with. Can I ask that question? And will that person hear me out in a respectful, honorable way? And you not even agree with me, but can they hear that question? Then we're starting to say, okay, now we're both on the right path. Path. So, Ryan, this is a hard one. If you are concerned that the person you've been with for a year who's pressuring you. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go ask her. Hey, I've got this weird feeling in my guts that you want to marry me because of my citizenship status. I know that. I hope that'd make me feel creepy, but I just want to be honest. I want to put all this on the table, and I want to hear what you say. Hopefully she says, dude, I can totally get that. I totally get that. I see that. That I need you to hear me. How much. How love with you I am. Or I just want. I can't wait another minute. Time. Your wife. Or she might say, how dare you?

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah. What if she gets pissed? What does that mean?

[Dr. John Deloney]

Then she's gonna get pissed about what house to buy, what neighborhood to buy, what, how much money we're gonna send. We're gonna expat our money over. She's gonna.

[Jade Warshaw]

She allowed to be pissed for at least just a minute. Okay.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

That could feel like if she does truly love him. That could feel hurtful.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Absolutely.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Dr. John Deloney]

And so the question can hurt, but also, look at this. I'm marrying a guy that is not going to hide his questions and bury him down in his chest. He's going to actually put on the table, even if it's uncomfortable for both of us.

[Jade Warshaw]

Right.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I want to marry that guy. Right.

[Jade Warshaw]

True that.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah. Yes. Everybody gets permission to feel what they want to feel. It is. Do we? Can we hold space for each other to have those feelings and then we go to the next right thing?

[Jade Warshaw]

That's good. I think that's wonderful advice. Let's go back to the soulmate business.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Oh, you like the one?

[Jade Warshaw]

The one I want to ask the studio audience. Do you. You think that there is a. Like, there is a person out there that is the one, that's the person God has for you or, you know, or do you think that I could make it work with really anybody I'm compatible with? So if you think there's the one, raise your hand. Okay. It's not split. I was thinking it'd be more split. And if you think it's like, hey, if we're compatible we could have made it work. Wow.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Ah, look at me. I won that one.

[Jade Warshaw]

Interesting. I. I don't know. I'm somewhere on the fence. I don't have a clear stance on that, but I thought that that's. That was interesting.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah. I think the idea of the. You complete me, the Romeo and Juliet.

[Jade Warshaw]

There's one puzzle piece, and that's got to find it.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Yeah. Is. Is largely.

[Jade Warshaw]

I mean, I don't think. I think that.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Insanely debunked.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Dr. John Deloney]

When I do believe in a soulmate. But I think I always go back to my grandparents. They were married 72 and a half years, and when my granddad passed away, my grandmother literally lost a part of herself. And so when I looked, I was like, oh, there's the soulmate. Like you did three quarters over time. Y' all breathe the same with. Through the. With the same lungs. You dream with the same heart. Like, oh, yeah. But you. So for in my world, you can have a soulmate, but it's only in the rearview mirror. We like to try to do that on the front end and work the bat. Work back.

[Jade Warshaw]

I like that. I like that. Okay.

[Dr. John Deloney]

But at some point. Yes. I decide I'm gonna. I'm gonna get up today and I'm gonna be a good husband, even though I don't want to be. I'm frustrated, I'm annoyed. I'm gonna get up and I'm gonna do the right thing.

[Jade Warshaw]

Choices every single day. You decide? I. I do.

[Dr. John Deloney]

That's right.

[Jade Warshaw]

I do again.

[Dr. John Deloney]

There you go.

[Jade Warshaw]

I think I do. That's the way it works. All right, let's go to a social question. John. I like these. Let's see. Let me get one that's good for. Oh, let me get one that's good for both of us. Actually, most of these are money, so I'll just do it. Okay. Miguel from Facebook asks, how do I determine your budget if you're self employed and your income is always fluctuating? I like this question. So this is probably a question that we get all the time with people. The hardest. I'll say hardest in quotes. The hardest. Hardest money to budget is the money that's not regular. So you have either irregular income or. Yeah, your budget is changing a lot. Maybe you're paid on commission or maybe you're self employed. Right. And it's just not the same. So the truth is you still need a budget, and if anything, you need one more than ever. And. And the way I like to do it is kind of. Kind of by a ranking system. So I start out with the least amount that I might possibly make. So if I know I can make anywhere between, I don't know, 6 and $8,000, I'm not going to budget at 8,000 to start. I'm going to budget at 6,000 to start. And then on my budget, everything is listed by priority. So it's like, hey, when I get that $6,000, four walls got to be first, right? We already know what that is. That's like your rent, that's your utilities, that's your food, your transportation. Those are first, bar none. Then after that are really what I would call the second two walls, which are usually insurance and daycare. Right. Child services. And then after that, whatever we can get with that $6,000. And as more money comes in now, we're able to hit those other areas that are lower down on the priority list. So that's one way to think about it. And then when you do have a month that's like gangbusters and you do a lot of money, you're setting that money aside for basically a rainy day or a lesser month. So you always have that cushion. And I, you know, as a small business owner, if you can get a month ahead and kind of have that money, it's not an emergency fund. It's not that. It's just I'm always a month ahead on my budget. So that if something, heaven forbid happens and business is kind of lagging that month, you've got plenty of money and you know how much it takes to run your household. So knowing your number numbers when you're self employed, so, so key. And of course, when you have that fluctuating income, you're doing it by priority and you're making sure that you keep extra cushion in your account. If you can keep a whole month and be a month ahead, that is a win.

[Caller (Tyler)]

Foreign.

[Dave Ramsey]

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[Jade Warshaw]

It happens all the time. People get caught up, John. They're, they're trying to pay off their debt, they're trying to build wealth, and they forget about a very, very important component of this whole Money thing, this whole wealth building journey and that's insurance. It's so, so important. You got to have the right coverage. You don't want to have too little and you don't want to have too much because that can impact how long it takes you to actually accomplish those goals that you're working on. Right. So skimping on insurance might feel like in the moment that you're saving money, but when life happens, man, you're going to be left out there without a safet. So the right insurance, just remember it really is a shield around you and your loved ones and your wallet. If you do it the right way, it's a shield when disaster strikes. And in some cases it can even save you money if you happen to be paying too much for coverage right now. So insurance is so, so important. So how do you know if you have the right coverage? You need to take the insurance Coverage Checkup. It's a free online resource that creates a personalized insurance action plan that's unique to you and your situation. It makes an overly confusing topic like insurance very easy to understand and it gives you very, very clear next steps. So if you want to do that, go to Ramsey Solutions.com checkup to take the coverage checkup or you can click the link in the description if you're listening on YouTube or podcast. So, so important. My husband is the one in our family who kind of leads the, the charge on this. John. He does it once a year, year specifically when it comes to your home because the value is always going up. You want to make sure that your insurance is right. Trust me, you don't want to play with that. And when you're getting out of debt, a lot of times people skimp on the things they need. Life insurance and even having the right, I don't know if you're self employed, not having the right medical insurance. People do all sorts of crazy things.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Well, and it's medical bankruptcies. It is. My basement flooded and there was a rider that I didn't have on my insurance and so they don't cover it. Those are the things, the big things that we see just crush people.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Dr. John Deloney]

And so just making sure you got those basic. And dude, when you're trying to get out of debt, let's be honest, it hurts when you see that payment coming out every month for a maybe. But man, you and I get, get the, the honor, but not the privilege, the honor of sitting with people that they didn't have it.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah, right.

[Dr. John Deloney]

And I tell you what, I've been Going through some. Some insurance claims. And Xander has been awesome. Xander is great every step of the way with me, just my personal. They've been taking care of my family.

[Jade Warshaw]

Which I just appreciate 100%. So just remember, insurance is not a baby step. It's not. It's not step three, like you're probably thinking it is. It's the moment you find out about it, you got to get it in place. All right? Elora is in Las Vegas, Nevada. Elora. Am I saying it right?

[Caller (Elora)]

Yeah, you are.

[Jade Warshaw]

What a pretty name.

[Caller (Ashley)]

Hi.

[Jade Warshaw]

Thank you.

[Caller (Elora)]

I really messed up and I make too much money. I make more money than my husband and I want to stay at home with my kids. That's all I want. I have three kids and they're so good and they're so cute and I just love them. I want to stop working. I want to get him on my team to do that.

[Dr. John Deloney]

So why do you think you messed up?

[Caller (Elora)]

How do I transition?

[Dr. John Deloney]

You said you messed up. Why do you think you messed up?

[Caller (Elora)]

Because now I make too much money. I make more than childcare costs.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay. That's a blessing.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I would love to stay home, mess up nothing.

[Caller (Elora)]

Yeah, I want to be a stay at home mom.

[Jade Warshaw]

So I really. Laura, you know what this is?

[Caller (Elora)]

Applied myself.

[Jade Warshaw]

This is like when I. My brothers and sisters, when we were kids. Kids. And I messed up and did too good of a job cleaning the kitchen. And then it became my chore all the time to clean the kitchen.

[Dr. John Deloney]

That's not messed up. That's you. That's you applying yourself. I'm proud of you, dude.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, so tell us, tell us why your husband. Okay, so tell us the money first. Tell us what you make. Tell us what he. He makes.

[Caller (Elora)]

Okay. With my, like, yearly bonus and commission, I'm making a little over a hundred thousand. And he's making like almost 50. 50, like, maybe sometimes 55ish. He is. I work from home and it's like a good corporate kind of tech job. And he is. He's kind of switched careers from business management to being a truck driver.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay.

[Caller (Elora)]

And like, I'm. I'm pretty much maxed out at where I can go with with my job. Like, I can't make more money. And like, I don't want to. I don't want to, like, work more. And he's like, he could go over the road, but he's a really, really good dad and a good husband, and he wants to know what he gone. Yeah. We'd like to see him every day. I understand.

[Dr. John Deloney]

So, so you want, you want everything all at the same time.

[Caller (Elora)]

Yeah.

[Jade Warshaw]

Well, what's the, what's the problem? Is it debt? I mean, obviously 55,000 is. It would be tight on 55,000. So what else is super tight? Yeah, yeah.

[Caller (Elora)]

Well, we've paid off $40,000 in debt. A little over $40,000 in debt. We're almost completely out of like any consumer debt. We have like almost 20,000. We have two loans. One's the solar panels on our home, which we had to take over for when we bought the home. And it would be another six to eight months until we in page both of those loans off. Like, we would be completely consumer debt free in eight months.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Can I tell you? I love that.

[Caller (Elora)]

Almost there.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I love that. Can I tell you why? Yeah, Jay, tell me if I'm wrong. That is six months. Seven months is a. Hey, honey, in six months we're gonna have no more debt. And I want to stay home with these kids. And so we have six months. You have six months to, to find something else.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah, that's a great on ramp, y' all.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I mean, that's a perfect time. But y' all have to, y' all are asking existential marriage questions. You're not asking finance questions right now.

[Jade Warshaw]

Well, there's one other big financial component to this, and this is the piece. Elora, I, I hope it doesn't bust your bubble, because I do think there, there will be a solution if we need one, but it might not be a fun one. So a lot of times what happens is couples get married and they're both working and they purchase a home based off of both of their incomes. Right. And that home is a certain percentage. And then one of the spouses wants to stay home and suddenly that mortgage becomes a greater chunk. Right. Of their take home pay, because the take home pay has now shrunk. So what I want to know is, on his income, let's say he's at 55,000. What does that put your mortgage to percentage wise?

[Caller (Tyler)]

Well.

[Jade Warshaw]

That'S where, that's where the struggle could be. You see that? Right? Right? Yeah.

[Caller (Ashley)]

So.

[Caller (Elora)]

And it's like right now we have like two to like, we have like basically two to $4,000 left after budget and stuff to put towards debt.

[Jade Warshaw]

But don't think of it like that. Don't think about it as what's left. Think about what piece of the pie your mortgage is. So like for, for instance, right now, how much do you guys bring home.

[Caller (Elora)]

A month combined after taxes, around like 9 to $10,000.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, so your $10,000 and then how much is your mortgage? Mortgage.

[Caller (Elora)]

1800.

[Jade Warshaw]

Okay, so you're fine. Right? So what will that.

[Caller (Elora)]

Yeah, so it would be about half of his income. See, that's if we just said right now.

[Jade Warshaw]

That's the issue. Yeah.

[Dr. John Deloney]

And you're not going to find a house payment for 1800.

[Caller (Elora)]

No, we're not.

[Dr. John Deloney]

So he's gonna. He's gonna have to make more money.

[Jade Warshaw]

He either has to make more money or maybe you can. Maybe you guys can ease into this by saying, hey, I'm gonna go down to part time time work from home. Do you see what I'm saying? That's the debt. The debt is a huge piece of this puzzle for you guys. But when it comes to making that sort of change, like one spouse is just no longer working. That mortgage piece is huge because to John's point. Yeah, yeah. Finding a house for less than that, it ain't happening. But. And I think that's a great mortgage price that you have. But how can you fill that gap and still get at least some of what you want? That. It might be there. It might be him getting more money and you working part time.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Why. Why did he quit? He does management to be a truck driver.

[Caller (Elora)]

He hated it so bad. It was really.

[Dr. John Deloney]

I get that. But this feels reactionary.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Caller (Elora)]

Like, it was 2020, he got laid off, and then it was like, he's always wanted to drive truck and get a CDL, and so he did that in 2021. And there is like. Like there's room, you know, for him to grow in that industry. But he wants to also, like, start a business and become a partner with the people that, you know, he works for right now. But there's just not, like a ton of initiative. I'm like, hey, this is, like, important now so that we can.

[Dr. John Deloney]

So he doesn't want those things. He's just a schemer. He's just a dreamer. You know, I'm a dreamer.

[Caller (Elora)]

No, I think that he really does want it. But I think that he.

[Dr. John Deloney]

But if he did, he'd be. He'd go be doing it. It.

[Jade Warshaw]

Yeah.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Let me put it this way. My wife has to tell me, please don't write a book this year. Wait till next year. Sam I'm confident is like, hey, Jade, we're good, we're good, we're good, we're good. Right? Like. Like people who want it, their spouses are like, hey, what about us? Yeah, not the. Not in your situation. Like, hey, I really want to be with my kids, y' all have a deeper question, which is? Hey, we. We hit the pin alum after 2020, all right? We got a new marriage. It's 2025, 2026. I want to stay at home. This is a math problem for us. How can we make that happen?

[Jade Warshaw]

Hey, what are you still doing here? You know the rest of the show's happening on the Ramsey Network app, right? So you got to jump over to this there to continue watching. You can download it for free. Just go to your app store, type in Ramsey network, It's completely free, and I'll drop a link in the show notes to make it easy for you. So if you're watching on the app, you're in luck. But if you're watching anywhere else, this show is over for you. So jump onto the app and let the fun continue. All right, go on now. Don't make it weird. Okay? I got nowhere to go, so you need to go. Okay, bye.

[Dr. John Deloney]

Bye, now.

[Jade Warshaw]

All right, this is getting weird over there, guys.

[Dr. John Deloney]

What do we do?