You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Ramsey Show – "You Can’t Fix Your Money Problems Without Facing Them" Release Date: May 29, 2025

In this episode of The Ramsey Show, host Dave Ramsey, alongside co-host Rachel Cruz and assistant Nathan, delves into the critical theme that effectively addressing financial issues necessitates confronting them head-on. The episode features a series of caller interactions, each presenting unique financial challenges. Ramsey and his team provide actionable advice, reinforced with notable quotes and expert insights to help listeners navigate their financial woes.

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1. Nathan’s Divorce and Car Crisis

Timestamp: [00:50] – [06:07]

Caller: Nathan from Birmingham is embroiled in a tough divorce, left without sufficient funds after his ex-partner mishandled their combined savings of $50,000.

Situation: Nathan’s car broke down amidst a contentious divorce. His ex-wife has not been cooperating with the legal process to divide their savings, leaving him with minimal funds and high legal fees. He faces the dilemma of obtaining a reliable used car without resorting to loans, fearing it could derail his financial recovery.

Advice from Dave Ramsey:

• Demand Immediate Action: Ramsey urges Nathan to take firm action by insisting that half of the combined savings be transferred immediately, emphasizing the importance of creating urgency. “First thing you do is you call your lawyer and you say, okay, I need half of our savings account transferred to me by the end of the day.” [02:20]
• Sell the Damaged Car: Ramsey advises selling the unusable car to salvage some funds and purchase a more affordable vehicle upfront. “Sell it for whatever, $500 or $700 to the local salvage yard… then go get you a $3,000 car to drive until.” [03:44]
• Treat Divorce as a Business Transaction: He highlights the necessity of approaching the divorce like a business deal, removing emotional biases to ensure fair financial division. “Treat this now as much as you can. It needs to happen efficiently, smoothly and quickly.” [06:07]

Notable Quote: "I need a car. I want my $25,000 now." – Dave Ramsey [03:25]

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2. Mindy’s Massive Debt in Montreal

Timestamp: [10:41] – [20:00]

Caller: Mindy from Canada, a nurse in Montreal, faces $1.8 million in debt, including mortgage and personal loans, while navigating the high cost of living in one of Canada’s most expensive cities.

Situation: Mindy owns a triplex and a family home with significant mortgages, alongside two electric Hondas with substantial loans and additional personal debt. Her income is hindered by her bipolar disorder, preventing her from taking on extra work, especially with a second child on the way.

Advice from Dave Ramsey:

• Aggressive Debt Reduction: Ramsey emphasizes selling assets to reduce debt, such as pricing the triplex to facilitate its sale and eliminate high-interest debts. “...put $2,000 with that and go get you a $3,000 car to drive until.” [04:00]
• Collaborative Problem-Solving: He stresses the importance of Nathan and his wife working together to address their financial issues rather than allowing emotions to dictate decisions. “The two of you sit down together... cleaning this mess up.” [07:16]
• Focus on Essential Expenses: Ramsey advises prioritizing debt repayment and cutting non-essential expenses to stabilize their financial situation. “You’ve got to quit buying crap you can’t afford.” [08:22]

Notable Quote: "When a divorce occurs, it turns a marriage into a business transaction." – Dave Ramsey [04:33]

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3. Jason’s Career Change and Retirement Worries

Timestamp: [26:29] – [64:34]

Caller: Jason from Kansas City contemplates quitting his long-term job to pursue a better-paying career in machinery and heavy equipment operation, fearing the impact on his retirement.

Situation: Jason is 35 years old, married with one child, and expects a second. He faces $1.8 million in debt, including mortgages on rental properties and personal loans. Balancing a stable income with the desire to shift careers poses significant stress, particularly with a wife on maternity leave soon.

Advice from Dave Ramsey:

• Increase Income Before Transitioning: Ramsey advises Jason to bolster his side income substantially before making the full-time switch. “You need to crank up your side hustle and get it to $50,000 and work all the time.” [29:07]
• Debt Reduction Strategies: He recommends selling higher-interest assets and consolidating or settling debts to free up monthly cash flow. “Sell your car and get an extra job.” [60:13]
• Embrace Change Positively: Ramsey encourages viewing career changes as opportunities for growth, mitigating fears by thorough planning and increasing income streams. “We love change when it’s for the better.” [30:55]

Notable Quote: "Don’t get yourself, all of you out there in America in a position where you’re... you can’t sustain that for 10 years." – Dave Ramsey [73:11]

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4. Todd’s Challenges with Girlfriend’s Spending

Timestamp: [33:17] – [41:17]

Caller: Todd from Virginia seeks advice on managing his girlfriend’s excessive use of a shared credit card, leading to recurrent financial disputes.

Situation: Todd and his girlfriend recently moved in together. He has been covering all essential bills, but he’s troubled by her significant and uncontrollable spending on non-essentials, exacerbating tensions and leading to frequent arguments.

Advice from Dave Ramsey:

• Reestablish Financial Boundaries: Ramsey recommends separating finances to prevent further conflicts, effectively treating the girlfriend as a roommate regarding financial matters. “You have to take the card back.” [35:48]
• Assess Relationship Readiness: He underscores the importance of both partners being financially aligned before deepening their relationship, suggesting that her spending habits are a red flag. “It is a big red flag for marriage.” [39:58]
• Implement Strict Budget Controls: Ramsey advises setting clear budgets and maintaining separate accounts to avoid financial strain and emotional fallout. “You just gave your roommate a credit card and your roommate has a spending problem.” [37:20]

Notable Quote: "You have to have a vote and full transparency." – Dave Ramsey [84:04]

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5. Jake’s First Home Purchase as an Immigrant

Timestamp: [45:07] – [54:00]

Caller: Jake from Phoenix, Arizona, a green card holder, and his wife aim to purchase their first home but face obstacles due to his lack of credit history.

Situation: Despite his wife's strong credit score of 750, Jake’s absence of a credit history complicates their mortgage application, limiting their borrowing capacity and affecting the quality of the home they can afford.

Advice from Dave Ramsey:

• Seek Specialized Mortgage Brokers: Ramsey suggests consulting with experienced brokers like Churchill Mortgage who can navigate manual underwriting processes to include Jake’s income and creditworthiness. “Try to keep asking somebody till you get the answer you want.” [51:10]
• Consider Portfolio Lending: He recommends exploring credit unions that keep loans in-house, allowing for more flexible underwriting that can accommodate mixed credit histories. “If they’re going to keep the loan in-house, that means they make up the rules.” [52:29]
• Persist in Finding Solutions: Ramsey encourages persistence in finding the right mortgage solution, emphasizing that their combined income should qualify them for a better loan package. “Don’t accept an unreasonable answer.” [50:43]

Notable Quote: "Nobody's coming to save you from your student loan debt." – Dave Ramsey [44:13]

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6. Brady’s Housing Budget

Timestamp: [55:43] – [75:44]

Caller: Brady from Boise is navigating the complexities of purchasing a new home, balancing his and his wife’s incomes while aiming to follow Ramsey’s budgeting guidelines.

Situation: Brady and his wife have saved $110,000 for a down payment and face a significant housing budget issue with their desired home costing 37% of their take-home pay, surpassing the recommended 25%.

Advice from Dave Ramsey:

• Adhere to Budget Guidelines: Ramsey strongly advises against stretching their budget to 37%, labeling it financially unsustainable. “That’s dumber than a rock. No, that’s not... you’re going to be house poor.” [69:59]
• Reevaluate Housing Choices: He recommends considering more affordable neighborhoods or adjusting their expectations to align with their financial reality. “You need to have some what we call disposable income.” [73:11]
• Focus on Financial Peace: Ramsey emphasizes structuring housing expenses to ensure financial flexibility and peace, avoiding the trap of being "house poor." “It’s a life that is not sustainable without creating a mess.” [75:44]

Notable Quote: "Don’t get yourself in a position where you can’t breathe because you got house poor." – Dave Ramsey [73:11]

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7. Jessica’s Blended Family Finances

Timestamp: [56:38] – [86:38]

Caller: Jessica from Lancaster seeks guidance on managing finances within a blended family context, particularly with children from previous relationships.

Situation: Jessica and her husband are navigating financial responsibilities towards children from previous marriages, aiming to establish a harmonious and fair financial arrangement without causing strain in their relationship.

Advice from Dave Ramsey:

• Unified Financial Approach: Ramsey advises treating all children equally in financial planning, ensuring that expenses are managed transparently and equitably. “Both of us have a vote. Both of us have full transparency.” [84:04]
• Separate and Joint Accounts: He discusses the importance of balancing individual and joint accounts to maintain financial clarity and prevent disputes. “You have to keep your money completely separate if you’re going to stay in the same house.” [41:17]
• Open Communication: Emphasizing the need for ongoing dialogue, Ramsey encourages couples to collaborate on budgeting and financial decisions to support their blended family effectively. “Have extreme amounts of communication and transparency.” [85:07]

Notable Quote: "You’ve got to start talking about how we can be on the same page about money.” – Dave Ramsey [83:23]

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8. Billy’s Debt Management with OCD

Timestamp: [68:24] – [64:34]

Caller: Billy from Boise is a retail manager battling $35,000 in debt while managing OCD that hinders his ability to cook, leading to increased spending on pre-made meals.

Situation: Billy struggles with compulsive spending due to OCD, resulting in high monthly expenses on pre-made meals. He seeks a budget plan that accommodates his mental health needs while addressing his debt.

Advice from Dave Ramsey:

• Increase Income and Reduce High-Cost Debts: Ramsey emphasizes the necessity of boosting income through side hustles and eliminating high-interest debts, particularly the car loan. “Sell the car and get an extra job.” [60:13]
• Balanced Budgeting: While acknowledging his OCD, Ramsey advises creating a budget that allows for essential expenses without compromising debt repayment. “Everything else turns into new debt because you spent it all on your stinking house.” [72:19]
• Therapeutic Approaches: He suggests integrating financial goals with therapeutic progress, such as using cooking as part of exposure therapy to address OCD. “Use that as part of your therapy process.” [61:53]

Notable Quote: "The eating out thing is not your problem. Okay? You can put that in the budget if you do the other two things." – Dave Ramsey [60:13]

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Conclusion and Key Takeaways

Throughout the episode, Dave Ramsey underscores the importance of confronting financial issues directly to pave the way for effective resolution and long-term financial stability. Key themes include:

• Urgent Action: Addressing financial problems promptly to prevent escalation.
• Strategic Debt Reduction: Selling unnecessary assets and consolidating debts to manage financial burdens.
• Collaborative Financial Planning: Engaging partners transparently in budgeting and financial decisions.
• Income Optimization: Increasing income through side hustles and career advancements to facilitate debt repayment and achieve financial goals.
• Emotional Resilience: Balancing financial strategies with personal and relational well-being to ensure sustainable peace and stability.

Promoted Tools and Resources:

• EveryDollar App: Offered as a free budgeting tool to help listeners plan and track their expenses.
• Fairwinds Credit Union: Recommended for customer-centric banking solutions tailored to the Ramsey Tribe.
• Delete Me Service: Advertised for protecting personal information from data brokers and reducing spam.
• BetterHelp: Promoted as an accessible online therapy option to support mental and emotional health.

Final Notable Quote: "You get to start telling your money where to go, so you can stop wondering where it went." – Dave Ramsey [77:35]

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This episode reinforces the message that facing financial difficulties head-on, combined with strategic planning and emotional support, is essential for overcoming money problems and achieving financial freedom.

Transcript

[Dave Ramsey]

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. My co host today, Rachel Cruz, number one bestselling author and host of the Rachel Cruze show, co host of Smart Money Happy Hour, all on Ramsey Networks. And my daughter, she's going to be answering the questions today. And I'm going to watch. Open phones at Triple 882-522 5. Nathan is in Birmingham. Hi, Nathan. What's up?

[Rachel Cruz]

Hi, Nate. Dave, thanks for taking my call.

[Dave Ramsey]

Sure.

[Rachel Cruz]

I got a question. It's kind of a rough situation. I need to know the best way to buy a used car. Going through a pretty nasty divorce, My car finally just bit the dust. My buddy said it can't. It's. The transmission's out, the frames rusted. I'm the type that just drives them until they're dead. The problem is I don't know what my soon to be ex did with the finances. She split up everything, left me with almost nothing. My lawyer's been trying to work on finding that out, but she's not working with a lawyer. So I just need to know the best way to do this. If we had combined everything. We have the money to do that, but she's basically telling me to either get a car loan or. Which I don't like doing because we finally got out of debt. But I just need to know the best way to approach this without having to go out.

[Dave Ramsey]

How long have you been separated, Nathan?

[Rachel Cruz]

About five or six months.

[Dave Ramsey]

And where has your paycheck been going, son?

[Rachel Cruz]

Oh, I have my. I have my own new bank account.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh. How much is in that together right now?

[Rachel Cruz]

About $2,000, because I'm paying for lawyer fees. Are really taking a good chunk of my money right now.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Nathan]

And you're saying, Nathan, you guys had a combined savings.

[Rachel Cruz]

We had about a combined $50,000 cash available.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruz]

And I don't know what she's done with that.

[Dave Ramsey]

First thing you do is you call your lawyer and you say, okay, I need half of our savings account transferred to me by the end of the day. This is asinine.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

I want my money now.

[Nathan]

Is there a judge involved, Nathan?

[Dave Ramsey]

Not yet. But. Not yet. But the lawyer picks up the phone and calls her lawyer and says, you have 24 hours to transfer $25,000 or we're going to get before a judge.

[Rachel Cruz]

Now, the problem is she's not working with a lawyer right now.

[Dave Ramsey]

Good. We're gonna go before a judge if you don't listen, lady. Okay, okay, so you've been being real sweet and stand back and trying to let the lawyers do it, and the lawyers aren't doing their job. They're not working.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm thinking you gave him money and she still sits on your money for six freaking months. Light a fire under some people, buddy.

[Rachel Cruz]

So, yeah, that's.

[Dave Ramsey]

I need a car. I want my 25,000 now. We'll negotiate the rest of it later, but I want my money now.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

You hear what I'm doing?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes, sir.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm creating urgency with my voice. You've been pushed around and you're about to push back. Your only other option is take your car, which is a piece of crap, and sell it for whatever, 500 or $700 to the local salvage yard, right?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, pretty much.

[Dave Ramsey]

And then put $2,000 with that and go get you a $3,000 car to drive until. For six months, until you light a fire under these people on the other side of this discussion. Okay, but this tells you that you've been tolerating this too long.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes. Yes, you're right.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. So the. A friend of mine that does divorce recovery work says that what people have the most trouble with in your situation and you're struggling with it, and most. It's human. It's not. You're a bad. But most people forget this. You get all tangled up with the emotions and the grief and the anger and everything else regarding the actual marriage coming to an end. But what in reality is happening is when a divorce occurs, it turns a marriage into a business transaction.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

And if you were in a business partnership and the partnership was closing down, you would not allow your business partner to sit on $50,000 when 25 of its yours.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

For five freaking months.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah. I think the other problem is she's currently pregnant. It's not mine. So that kind of throws.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, it doesn't throw. It doesn't. Doesn't. Doesn't affect anything.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay?

[Dave Ramsey]

That's her problem.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's not your problem. Her problem is she's got $50,000, 25 of which is yours, and she's getting ready to get a judge to give her a little slapping if she doesn't get their money turned over. That's what's going on. That's her problem. She's got other issues like getting pregnant with other people while she's married to you. That's Gonna be another issue. And that pisses you off and hurts your feelings and, you know, absolute. If she had a lawyer, he'd be like going crazy right now trying to defend this situation. Oh, my gosh. And so, yeah, you. You've got to bring this thing to a head.

[Nathan]

Yeah. And for your peace of mind, Nathan, I'm like, for this just to drag on in general, whether you need a car or not, for this to be sitting in such limbo for so long. I think, yeah, it needs to be.

[Dave Ramsey]

And here's the. Here's the thing. If you don't get this done, you're going to reach over there to get the money. It's going to be gone. It may already be gone.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, that's what kind of concerns me.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, I'm kind of worried about that right now, so. But you know, she's on the hook for it because you have. You have some kind of proof or can get proof that that money existed when you left the house.

[Rachel Cruz]

Oh, yes, sir. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

And so she definitely spent marital assets illegally. No question now whether she'll ever be able to pay it back. Probably not. Doesn't sound like this is the smartest chick on the planet. So anyway, yeah, dude, you gotta. You needed to have moved on this four months ago, but now you get to move on it. And if you do find out bad news, there's no money and it's gonna take a while and your attorney won't jack them up, then you get to go buy a $3,000 car with cash because the one you're driving wasn't $3,000. So it's not like you're moving down. Unlike you got rid of a $80,000 vehicle or something. So you know, that's where you are. So stay calm. But here's the thing. Treat this now as much as you can. And it's hard to do because we're all emotional beings. I'm emotional just talking to you about it, and it's not even me, but I mean, treat it like it's just a transaction. Everything having to do with the closing up of this marriage, the wrapping up of this marriage called a divorce. It's a transaction. It needs to happen efficiently, smoothly and quickly.

[Nathan]

Yeah. And your lawyer will know. I've always just been shocked. And I feel like I still learn this how different state to state handles the law when it comes to divorce from communal assets, marital assets, like all of it, it is. It can get very complicated very quickly. And so making sure it's as clean cut as possible and Quick and fast. That's the thing. It's like, wrap it up. Because. And especially since she doesn't have any representation, like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if that makes it, you know, it's gonna make it worse for her probably. But also, I don't know if it's gonna string along all of this event.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, what makes it worse for the rest of you out there is she probably thinks she's gonna get away with this. Cause she's not gonna be in her.

[Nathan]

Corner as a lawyer advising her, telling.

[Dave Ramsey]

Her, she's telling her this is dumb. You can't do that.

[Nathan]

Yes, yes. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

And she's probably like, well, yeah, I think this is my money and I'm having a baby, so I get to keep it. No, that's not how it works, darling. So, you know, but she's got nobody there talking sense into her and she may be getting her best, her best advice from her friend on Instagram, which is, you know, probably not a good idea.

[Nathan]

We don't know.

[Dave Ramsey]

Probably not a good idea. I'm just saying, like, for sure, not a good idea. This is the Ramsay show. You know, one of the first things I discovered working in the financial world is how absolutely devastating it is when the breadwinner of a family dies and there's too little life insurance or none at all. Grieving families are suddenly left behind, scrambling to pay bills and trying to make ends meet. I also discovered that there are a lot of rip offs in the life insurance world, like that whole life crap posing as an investment opportunity that what you need is level term life insurance, usually 10 to 12 times your income, which is the smartest, most affordable way to protect your family. The key is finding an independent broker who represents a ton of companies and works for you, not for the insurance company. This is exactly what my friend Jeff Zander and his team at Zander Insurance are all about. They shop the term life companies to find you the best options. And they've been around for over 95 years, so you know they'll be there when you need them. Zander is the real deal and that's why they've handled all my personal insurance for over 25 years. I trust them and you can too. Visit Zander.com for instant online quotes or for a more personal touch, give them a call at 800-356-4282. Mindy is in Canada. Hi, Mindy, how are you?

[Rachel Cruz]

Hi, I'm good. How are you?

[Dave Ramsey]

Better than I deserve. What's Up.

[Rachel Cruz]

I love that line. Okay, I. I'll try to make this brief. I am 35, married, with a kid, and a second on the way. I have 1.8 million in debt, total.

[Dave Ramsey]

Good lord.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[Nathan]

Does that include your home?

[Rachel Cruz]

Montreal, which is the third most expensive city in Canada, and I work as a nurse, which is the cheapest paid in the whole of Canada.

[Dave Ramsey]

And what is the 1.8 million on. I hope it's just your real estate. Right.

[Rachel Cruz]

Well, I have a triplex, which I owe about 680,000 on. I have my family home, which I owe 590,000 on.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so what's the triplex worth?

[Rachel Cruz]

What's the what?

[Dave Ramsey]

What's the triplex worth?

[Rachel Cruz]

The triplex is worth about 850.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruz]

I'm trying to get 950 on it, but I don't know if I should lower the price.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, so you've got it up for sale. And what is your home worth?

[Rachel Cruz]

My home is worth about 750.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. All right, I got you. And is that. Let's see, seven and then six. That's not all of it.

[Rachel Cruz]

And I have. No, it's not all of it. I have. I have two Hondas, which I owe close to 70,000 on each. I have 350,000 of personal debt and then 35,000 of credit card and student loans.

[Dave Ramsey]

What is your 350,000 of personal debt?

[Rachel Cruz]

It was loaned to me mostly by my cousin, both as a down payment for the house as well as to renovate the house and the triplex.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow. And what's your household income?

[Rachel Cruz]

Around 110,000. 120,000 before tax. So we take away that.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm going to go back one more time. I apologize, but I didn't write the condos down. You owe 70 each on two condos onto Hondas. Hondas.

[Nathan]

Oh, I put condo, too.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, so they're not worth 70?

[Rachel Cruz]

No, they're fairly new, but they're electric.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruz]

We. We got them because we would be saving 500 in gas per car.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, it makes a difference when you're $2 million in debt. That's a big deal. Yeah. Not. Okay. All right. Oh, God. All right. So how can we help, hon?

[Rachel Cruz]

Well, I had my aha moment when I saw 22,000 going out in one month after doing a budget. And I don't know what exactly to do. I tried to get my wife on board. She says she'll get rid of everything besides for the house and the cars. I cut out everything from potato chips to haircuts, literally. Anything I could to curb the debt, curb the expenses. And I wish I could do more jobs a day, but my doctor says that because I'm bipolar, I need to have a healthy work life balance. And my wife is going on maternity leave in 12 weeks.

[Nathan]

How much of her salary is the 120 she makes?

[Rachel Cruz]

About 66.

[Nathan]

So half of it is that paid for. Paid maternity leave.

[Rachel Cruz]

She got 70% paid.

[Nathan]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

For how long?

[Rachel Cruz]

For a year.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Nathan]

And how much are these car payments a month?

[Rachel Cruz]

Just under 750 each.

[Nathan]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Well, I think we need to have a different discussion at your kitchen table. It's not like, what will she go along with? She's one of the adults here, too. And the two of you need to sit down and look at this and go, in 10 years, where do we want to be? And I'm collapsing under the weight of this. I can't do it anymore. This is killing me. It's aggravating your bipolar because your stress level is through the roof.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. And so it's not a matter of I have to keep a princess happy. The princess gets to grow up and be a woman. Like a grown up. And she gets to look at this with you and say, we have children to raise, a life to build, and the one that we have is falling down around our ears, and we have to do something. The house is on fire, darling. We can't discuss what you want it to burn. You get to decide with me if we're going to let the house burn down or are we going to do something to put it out. You don't get to sit here and go, I don't like fire. That's not an option anymore. You're like a grown woman with kids. And so you got to reframe this because you've been running around trying to shovel things in her direction to keep her happy and, like, she's your child or something. And that's not working relationally. And it's not working in your decision making either, because y' all make sucky decisions.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, I do.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, not you. Both of you. She's involved. That's my point. So the two of you sit down together, and then if you back up and if I. You're not dumb people. If I hired you to sit down and look at someone's situation exactly like yours, and it wasn't all your stress, you would look at it and go, oh, electric Hondas are gone. Bye. Bye. We're getting cheap cars, like $5,000 cars. And I don't really care what they burn, kerosene, diesel, electricity. Doesn't matter to me. We're driving them.

[Nathan]

We're not worried about the environment at all.

[Dave Ramsey]

We're not worried about the environment right now. The environment I'm worried about is not being broke. And so there's your environment. And you don't get to be an investor in triplexes. That thing has got to be priced in such a way that your real estate agent can sell it and get it gone. And then you use that to clear up a bunch of this $350,000 in debt. And with no car payments and no Triplex and the 350,000 DOL. 250 is reduced by 200 or so. 150 or so down to 200. Then the two of you lean in. And by the way, she doesn't get a year off for a baby. I don't really care what the Canadian government says. She gets to go to work. She lives with. She's broke people. Broke people work. So you get time off, a reasonable amount of time with a baby in most countries or situations that's six or eight weeks. And then people go back to work. And so you know, you don't, you don't get to work at 70% and not work. And while we're broke, sorry, it's how this works. And no, we're not spending $350,000 to redo the dad gum nursery either. Kids sleeps on a used baby bed we get at a garage sale. People survive this stuff, but only when they make grown up decisions. And dude, just listening to the tone and cadence of your voice, my heart is breaking for you. You sound like you are walking around 400 pound weight. You sound so scared to death. You sound scared to death.

[Nathan]

Well then I had two babies in the mix for you guys. I'm like, that's a lot. It's a lot.

[Dave Ramsey]

But the answer to getting rid of this anxiety is getting rid of all the crap and the debt associated with it. I hope you can turn this and not sell your house. I hope you can and I want you to try to do that. Sell everything but the house first. But then a year later, if you're still pedaling and you still can't do it, you may have to sell the house. But you guys have got to quit buying crap you can't afford. And I really don't care how expensive freaking Montreal is, you may not get to live there anymore. There are cities that are too expensive for some people to live in. You can't live In Tokyo, you can't live in New York City. Manhattan, you can't live in London and make minimum wage. You can't afford to live there. They're too expensive. And so I don't know if Montreal goes on that list or not. I'm not an expert on Montreal. I'm not an expert on any of them. But gosh, son, I'm afraid for you. Because the biggest thing I'm afraid is I'm afraid that you're afraid of her and you're not going to deal with this. And you two have got to sit down and have some grown up discussions about both of you being grownups and coming to the table and cleaning this mess up.

[Nathan]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

The work, those babies depend on y' all.

[Nathan]

Yes. And that in the house, the whole idea, the picture of the house is on fire and you're not going to get the fire out with water guns. Right. Just trying here and there. We're just kind of like, this is a, this is a fire hose. Like everything is going to look completely different and should by tomorrow. With your mindset, when you guys sit down tonight and just say, we have to get, we have to get everything out. Every. Our life is going to look completely different in the next three to six months.

[Dave Ramsey]

Mathematically. Mathematically, I can get you out if you did everything I told you to do. But I don't know if you'll do it or not. That's the, that's the variable I can't get figured out here. When you decide to go do it, you can clean this up.

[Nathan]

All right, Dave, you have some strong opinions, possibly. Yeah, I think so. Okay. Because you really prefer credit unions over big banks?

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, credit unions, for one thing, are nonprofit, which means that the members, the customers own the credit union. So any profits that the credit union makes goes back into customer pricing. So you get better interest rate on savings, cheaper checking and so on, that kind of thing. But what's more important than that, though, is the fact that the customer is the owner, changes the spirit on the credit union. So I find very few credit unions that aren't very customer centric.

[Nathan]

Well, and I think we have found one that is incredible and that's Fairwinds. They are an incredible credit union that is really out with the heart to help the customer.

[Dave Ramsey]

They're the right kind of people with the right kind of values and they've done a really, really good job with customer service and the deals that they're offering. The Ramsey Tribe is incredible.

[Nathan]

Yeah, absolutely. And I love that the things that we teach they so line up with and you're right, their customer service is unbelievable. Winston and I just signed up and we got an account and I'm not kidding, it took less than five minutes. It was so user friendly. Like the step by step approach was unbelievable. And then the next day my phone rings and it says Fairwinds on my phone. So I answered it and talked to someone there and they said, yeah, they give calls to every new customer. And so again, they just really care about your experience. And I, I so, so appreciate that. Plus anything that you can do at a traditional branch, you can do with [e-mail] or on their app. And you'll have free access to over 33,000 DOL ATMs.

[Dave Ramsey]

Hey, you guys know how much I hate banks in general and so for me to do this is a big deal. Talk to our friends at Fairwinds and check out the combined checking and savings bundle that they created just for the Ramsey tribe. You guys, it's incredible.

[Nathan]

Yeah, you guys, it's so easy to join Fairwinds no matter where you live. So go to fairwinds.org Ramsey Fairwinds is federally insured by NCUA.

[Dave Ramsey]

Our question of the day is brought to you by why Refi? Some lenders don't touch defaulted private student loans. But why Refi was built for this exact problem. They'll explore refinancing options with a lower fixed rate custom built for your situation deal. And you can get your student loans cleaned up. On defaulted private student loans. Go to yrefi.com Ramsey that's the letter y r e f y.com Ramsey might not be in all states.

[Nathan]

Today's question comes from Andrew in Nevada. What do you think about companies displaying tariff costs call outs in their prices when they've had to increase them due to tariffs? I'll be honest, I don't think I've seen this.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm starting to see it a couple of places where.

[Nathan]

Like retailers.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Nathan]

Or like cars.

[Dave Ramsey]

Cars. Different things. There's different. People are starting to show it.

[Nathan]

Interesting.

[Dave Ramsey]

Here's the thing. The truth is that almost no tariffs have actually gone into effect yet. It's all discussion and threats and so forth at this moment. Now if some of these do go into place, it does add to that company's cost. So if an item that they are selling you costs them 20% more and they're going to raise their prices and they want to explain why. Well that seems actually good that they tell you why they went up, you know, instead of something being $1000, it's going to be 1200. And it's all due to tariffs. We just tell, you know, I'll give you an example that's similar to that. You remember when gas prices went way up, the guy that cuts our yard and does our work here and has worked for me for 20 years. He does all the work on all of our commercial buildings and everything else, does all the landscaping. He put a fuel surcharge on the bills. He took his normal bill, his normal contract with us and he goes, my gas costs have gone doubled. And so I put a few fuel surcharge on there. I wasn't pissed at him about that. He legitimately, his dad gum. Gas was costing double.

[Nathan]

Right, right.

[Dave Ramsey]

So it's not like they're doing something wr. Now, if they're collecting extra money on a tariff that has not yet occurred, I might have trouble with that one.

[Nathan]

If they're like lying.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. Like they're, you know, that I might, I might struggle with that one ethically. Hello. Or collecting on some tariff they think might occur. And that's more of a political statement than it is an actual accounting function. Okay. And so it's like, it's kind of like, you know, anyway. But I, I'm not seeing a lot of this yet. I've seen a little of it. And the biggest reason is there's not a lot of actual tariffs have hit the shores of the United States yet. And so.

[Nathan]

And when they do, I mean, the truth is, small businesses, we're going to feel it. I mean, any business, but especially, I mean, even with some of our stuff. You know what I mean? Like, you just talk to, like, I.

[Dave Ramsey]

Mean, no, there is a. Almost all of our stuff is not done overseas.

[Nathan]

So some of the things that we're doing.

[Dave Ramsey]

We've got a handful of things, but I mean, like your wallet, your wallets are done in India.

[Nathan]

Yeah, but. And so, but the truth is it does affect small business. And so you may see that like that's.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. If the cost of that wallet that we're doing in India doubles because of tariffs, we'll probably put that on the website.

[Nathan]

I see that too.

[Dave Ramsey]

We'll probably put it out there for you. But so far it has not, by the way. Okay. It's a lot of saber rattling, as they say in negotiating so far. And boy, we have a chief saber rattler right now. No question about that. All right. Jason is in Kansas City. Hey, Jason, what's up?

[Rachel Cruz]

Hey, guys. Thanks for taking my call.

[Dave Ramsey]

Sure.

[Rachel Cruz]

How can we help hey, real quick. I just feel stupid for asking it, but I'm thinking about quitting my job and been doing for about 20 years and just doing something totally different. Am I dumb for wanting to do something that's better? Better paying.

[Dave Ramsey]

Why would that be dumb?

[Rachel Cruz]

My life, sleeping, everything like that. Am I dumb for what? I'm just worried about.

[Dave Ramsey]

Why would that be dumb?

[Rachel Cruz]

I don't know. I'm just worried about making a big change, doing something about 20 years and doing something totally different. I'm just nervous to take that step.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, well, I mean, you need good information. And the more information I have, the calmer I am about taking a big step. Does that make sense? So you said something about your retirement. Say that again.

[Rachel Cruz]

Just. I'm worried. Biggest thing. I'm worried about my retirement, you know, be leaving away a big pension. Well, I wouldn't be leaving it, but won't be as big if I finish out doing my.

[Dave Ramsey]

How old are you?

[Rachel Cruz]

About 40.

[Dave Ramsey]

Well, they lump. Will they lump sum it or will they make you wait till you're 65 to start taking it?

[Rachel Cruz]

Wait till I'm 65?

[Dave Ramsey]

You sure?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so you're just gonna get it. It's just not gonna be as much because you're not gonna be there for the next 20 years. Thank God you hate the job.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, exactly.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, yeah. Let's go make some money, dude.

[Nathan]

What do you want to do, Jason?

[Rachel Cruz]

I've got something else lined up. Just doing my own thing, working with machinery and stuff like that, you know, heavy equipment, clearing out brush and stuff.

[Nathan]

Do you have. Do you have history doing this stuff? Do you have, like a. Something you are going to step into?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, I've been doing it as a side gig.

[Nathan]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

What are you making as a side gig?

[Rachel Cruz]

Well, it's hard to say. Maybe about, I don't know, thousand dollars a month, roughly.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. What do you make at your main job now?

[Rachel Cruz]

About 100,000 a year.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so you got. You got a big jump there. It's $88,000. You got to find a brush to cut.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's a lot.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, but if I was doing that full time, yeah, I can definitely. There's a lot of ways to do that around here, so.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. You're working 40 hours right now in a government gig, right?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. I want you to crank up your side hustle and get it to 50,000 and work all the time where you're just exhausted because you need more proof text than $12,000 a year against 100k. That's what's making you nervous is that leap in your mind. You can see it happening, but you can't really put. I can't see the numbers right now that. That's going to happen.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, so you need to work, like all day Saturday, all Sunday afternoon after church. You work every afternoon after you get home. And you need to get this to 30, 40, 50,000 bucks, and then that's going to be a whole lot more comfortable. That may take you six months to jack it up, but I want you to jack it up and treat it like you've gone full time. You home by four.

[Rachel Cruz]

Usually.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, yeah. So this summer, dude, while you got light, let's go crazy. I mean, you can get four or five hours in, right?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, I can. I can do that. Absolutely. Yeah. I work, you know, eight, ten hours a day. You married, that's no problem. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. Yeah. I mean, because she's going to be less nervous when she sees that the. What we say is don't take a leap and try to jump in the boat. A leap of faith. Pull the boat over closer to the dock and step in. And that's what I'm saying.

[Nathan]

Yeah. How are you guys financially, Jason? Do you guys have consumer debt?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, we just got about 10,000 of debt be paid off here in the next month or two. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

If you can go make 70 or $80,000, heading towards 150 running. Running equipment, I would go do that. But I just want you to prove it to yourself and to your wife. A little better than 12 grand a year before you go do it. That's all I'm saying. And then you're gonna be less nervous about it. And you're not gonna be questioning, am I stupid to do this? And you'll be going, I'd be stupid to not do it. So, you know, one of the things, Rachel, that's interesting is people say people hate change. People don't hate change. People love change. As long as the change. As long as the change is positive.

[Nathan]

As long as it's good.

[Dave Ramsey]

I mean, when I. When I sold my pickup and I bought a Raptor R, I love change. It was amazing. It was a huge upgrade. I mean, I love change. You love change when it, when it goes better, right? I mean, I don't know if you. Listen, if you change, if you change jobs, I cried.

[Nathan]

I don't like that change.

[Dave Ramsey]

That makes me sad. But if you change, I don't know. You cry when you sold your car. And so, you know, Charles. Oh, that's. But not if you get an upgrade. If you get an upgrade. People like change. So if you, if you leave a toxic boss at an underpaid job and get a great boss or self employed and make three times more money, people love change. Who wouldn't do that? We all love change. When it's for the better. It's change that's uncertain. Uncertainty is what we don't want.

[Nathan]

Yeah, we don't like uncertainty or the passage of time. I don't know.

[Dave Ramsey]

Good lord. A personal counseling session for you on your child going to school.

[Nathan]

Everybody loves change. I'm like, oh, do we?

[Dave Ramsey]

No, we do. We love change. If it's good change.

[Nathan]

I know. Well, especially, especially in that scenario.

[Dave Ramsey]

And when your child goes off to school and the last one is gone, that is bittersweet. But you don't want them staying at home until they're 40, so it's good that they go.

[Nathan]

I heard that message loud and clear. I gotcha. I gotcha. Okay, you guys. 54% of Americans say it's a challenge to save on groceries without sacrificing quality. That's why I'm thrilled to tell you about Aldi. Aldi gives you simpler, better food choices that can save your family nearly $4,000 a year. From the daily essentials to organic produce, fresh meat and more, Aldi has what you need at prices that won't bust your budgets. So stop paying more and start shopping smarter at Aldi where you'll save with the lowest prices of any national grocery store. Find a store near your today at Aldi US That's a l D. I dot US US.

[Dave Ramsey]

Todd is in Virginia. Hey Todd, how are you?

[Rachel Cruz]

Hey Dave, how you doing? Thank you for taking my call.

[Dave Ramsey]

Sure. How can we help?

[Rachel Cruz]

Hey, I am trying to get on the same page with spending with my girlfriend. We just recently, in the past couple months we did move in together and I've been happy to cover all the necessity bills, rent, groceries, etc. But as of more recently, I have not been able to get on the same page. I have her, she has a card of mine that she uses for groceries expenses. But I've noticed a lot of charges that I can't keep up with and I brought it to her attention and every time I do we get into a fight. So I need. I'm just calling. How, what am I doing wrong? How can I get on the same page?

[Nathan]

Does she work?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes. So she works and she makes a decent amount as well. She has some other debts that she's paying. She has some student loans. She has a car payment. I don't have any debt aside from the debt that would be spent on that car that she uses that I brought up to her attention.

[Nathan]

And what does she, what does she say when you bring it up? You say, wait, we keep getting in a fight about it. What is. What. What's like the dialogue. What's. What's being said?

[Rachel Cruz]

So, for example, at the end of this past month, there was $1,900 in between target and shopping. And she's not shopping necessarily personal buying shoes and bags. It's expenses that are for, you know, home and decoration, but it's. It's career. Yes. Correct. For, you know, for. Not for a wrong cause or anything, but it's charges that. I can see the bottom of the barrel coming very quickly.

[Dave Ramsey]

How old are you?

[Rachel Cruz]

I'm 23.

[Dave Ramsey]

How old is she?

[Rachel Cruz]

She's 23 as well.

[Dave Ramsey]

And what do you make?

[Rachel Cruz]

So I make. I work an hourly construction job and I make somewhere between 60 and 70 a year. I also do have a side business that is starting that I'm starting to finally see some. Some income from there too. It's not consistent because it's still in the early phases.

[Dave Ramsey]

You seem like such a level headed, wise, smart young guy until we start talking about her and then suddenly, like all of your common sense left.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

I mean, because you're sitting here explaining to me something that's absolutely asinine. And I mean, you're the kind of guy that normally would have just said, wait a minute, just give me the card back. This doesn't work. Why haven't you done that?

[Rachel Cruz]

So it's not that I haven't, it's.

[Dave Ramsey]

That I take the card back tonight.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

This is going nowhere good, Todd.

[Nathan]

The problem is you guys are acting like you're a married couple. You know what I mean? Like, you're acting like, oh, yeah, we are one in our lives and we're doing this life together. No, you're like, financially, this is. This is not a combined.

[Dave Ramsey]

You gave your roommate a credit card and your roommate has a spending problem. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. And that's what Rachel saying. Now if you're her husband. Now we got a different discussion. Now we're in marriage counseling and we get on the same page and honey, we can't spend money like we're in Congress and we start having these discussions. Okay, but she's not your wife. But you just gave your room. I mean, just change, pretend like you weren't sleeping with her and it was just your roommate. And you just gave your buddy, who's living down the hall in another bedroom your card. And then he went hog wild at freaking Target. You know, you'd be going, no.

[Nathan]

Or Bass Pro. Just Bass Pro.

[Dave Ramsey]

Whatever. Okay, wherever. I don't care. But, I mean, you'd be going, man, I must be. That was a bad move. I want my card back. Right. Because that's. That's the situation you're in.

[Nathan]

Almost $2,000 a month, Todd. Like.

[Dave Ramsey]

Like, that's a lot.

[Nathan]

It's not like you're like, oh, gosh, she spent $50.

[Rachel Cruz]

Like, yeah, it was 1700 last month. And I said something then, Todd, and we got an argument, and then it was 19 this month.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, well, let me help you with this. It's going the wrong way.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah. I guess my. I guess my problem is, is I see. I see so many characteristics of her that are marriage material. And so I try to overlook this problem and try and compromise and make it. Every time I say something, we get an argument.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, you have to take the card back. And now we have to start the relationship over. And the relationship starts with the two of us. Have to get on the same page about how we are going to handle money before we talk about marriage. And a real good way to do that is not be living together. Because when you are living together, you are trying to work, you are trying to play like you are married, but you are not. It's like one foot in the boat, one not. And all you do is getting wet in this lake. The boat leaves, there you go. It's a problem. So. And I don't think you're. Guys, I don't think you two. You're not describing a situation where you're ready to get married.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[Nathan]

Well, I'm just.

[Rachel Cruz]

I'm coming to.

[Nathan]

Yeah. And know this, Todd. You know, I. I'm sure she does have marriage material and all that. And not that certain subjects can't be agreed upon. And seeing shared values and actually working towards reconciliation of us actually seeing life the same way. But there's, like, big issues that create that have been studied and shown that cause divorce and money is always in that top three. So I don't know. I heard this example once. I thought it was funny. They were like, you know, if they're like, okay, the top three ways that you could die from here to walking to your car are bears. And bears are the. One of the three ways that people die from walking from inside to their car. We'd all probably know about bears and be thinking about bears and probably have bear spray and be armed against bears and be aware. So if it's a major red flag in a relationship towards marriage, like it should be a big deal. Like this is a big red flag, Todd, like you keep saying, you know what I mean? Like the attitude is like, well, it's just this, it may not be a big deal. What we're saying is for a romantic relationship, for it to go further and you guys get married. It's not that I don't have hope that you guys could create shared values and actually start as grown ups talking about reality that we can't spend more than we make. And in reality, here's what this looks like for our life. You could do that. I hope you can. But if you can't reconcile this again, it is a big red flag. Big red flag for marriage. So it starts really important.

[Dave Ramsey]

So the conversation, if I'm you, it sounds at a minimum, it sounds like this. Tonight we sit down, we say, hey, I made a mistake. I'm sorry. The mistake I made was I started treating the situation like we were married financially and we're not. And so we need to keep our money completely separate if we're going to stay in the same house. And we've got to start, if we want the relationship to go forward, we've got to start talking about how we can be on the same page about money. In the meantime, give me my card back because we're going to separate our money again because this is complicating our relationship. It's not helping it. I thought I was doing a nice thing by providing and I made a mistake. I goofed. And so we've got to separate the stuff so that we can come back to sanity and start a fresh discussion like two grownups about how we can move this relationship forward. And it can't be that we're sharing money and a bed when we're not married. Those two. It just doesn't work. The data is in. It's not a moral judgment. Although I can pitch that to you too if you want it. But what it is is the data is in. This does not go where you guys want it to go.

[Nathan]

No.

[Dave Ramsey]

There's research project after research project after research project. And we now know for sure that marriage is a huge advantage over singles living together. We see the health is improved of both partners, the sex life is improved of both partners. The wealth is 15 times higher for a married 35 year old couple than a single female. 15 times higher. Net Worth. That's actual data, okay? From research projects. Married men live six to nine years longer than unmarried men. Apparently, women keep us from doing stupid stuff. I don't know, but. Are you going to eat that? Yes. No, you're not. You're married. I don't want you to die. You know, I mean, I don't know what it is, but something. Married men live longer. Married men make 26% higher incomes at 37 years old than unmarried men. Interesting. And that includes unmarried men shacking up, acting like they're married. You make 26% more if you actually put a ring on it. Hello? So, I mean, this is real, you guys. And you guys have been told a lie out there that, oh, I'm gonna try on the shoes before I buy them and make sure they fit. That's a lie. It doesn't. The data doesn't pay off on this. It doesn't work. I'm sorry. And if that offends some of you, we'll get in line of people that Dave Ramsey has pissed off in the last 30 years. It's a long. Hey, guys.

[Nathan]

What's up?

[Dave Ramsey]

It's Jade Warshaw.

[Nathan]

And look, if there's anybody who knows about student loan debt, it's me. My husband and I had $280,000 of it, but we were able to dig ourselves out. And you can, too.

[Dave Ramsey]

If your student loan payment and interest.

[Nathan]

Rate are burying you, refinancing could be the solution. Now, I recommend contacting my friends at Laurel Road today through their online application.

[Dave Ramsey]

You can get an initial rate quote in less than five minutes.

[Nathan]

And if you have a more complex.

[Dave Ramsey]

Situation, you can schedule 30 minutes to talk to an actual human being. Thanks goodness.

[Nathan]

Laurel Road makes it simple.

[Dave Ramsey]

There are no fees involved, and you.

[Nathan]

Could save thousands over the life of your loan. Remember, you should only refinance if it makes sense in your situation. So if you're looking for a low rate or a shorter term so that.

[Dave Ramsey]

You can pay off these student loans fast, talk to my friends at Laurel Road about their competitive interest rates and how you could actually get a lower.

[Nathan]

Rate by signing up for autopay.

[Dave Ramsey]

Listen, nobody's coming to save you from your student loan debt. If you want it gone, you can't mess around. Go to LaurelRoad.com Ramsey to find out.

[Nathan]

More about student loan refinancing. Again, that's LaurelRoad.com Ramsey.

[Dave Ramsey]

Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions. It's the Ramsey show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships. Rachel Cruz, number one best selling author, host of the Rachel Cruze show and Ramsey personality. My daughter is my co host. Today Jake is in Phoenix, Arizona. Hi, Jake, how are you?

[Rachel Cruz]

Hi, Dave. I'm well, thank you.

[Dave Ramsey]

Sure. What's up?

[Rachel Cruz]

Look, I'm a legal immigrant. I'm a green card holder in the United States. My wife is a United States resident. We're looking to purchase our first home. And after speaking to a mortgage broker, because I have no credit history or credit score to speak of, he's essentially told us that I cannot go on the loan and it's going to have to be my wife by herself to go on the loan. Which brings our borrowing power much less than we would, we hoped it would be, which, which brings the quality of the home that we were hoping to put our family into into a much lower quality home.

[Dave Ramsey]

What is, what is your wife's credit score?

[Rachel Cruz]

I believe she has about a 750 at the moment.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, wow. Okay, here there's three, there's a couple of variables here. I don't know the answer to one variable though is that I don't have the answer I want if I'm you. So I'm going to keep pushing, which is what you're doing by calling here. Good for you. Okay, so number one, in general, if a couple is going to go buy a house, there's two ends of the spectrum you want to be on. You don't want to be in the middle. You want to have a high credit score like your wife does, or no credit score like you do. If you have no credit score, you can do what's called manual underwriting, which is like George Camel and his wife Whitney bought a house with no credit score, same interest rate, both of their incomes counted toward buying the house to get the mortgage. Okay. Their first home that they ever bought. As an example, Jade Warshaw also has done that. Okay, so Ramsey personalities have actually done it. Human beings do it all the time. But you have to have a mortgage broker, broker that knows what they're doing. Because manual underwriting is where they actually manually check and verify your income with your employment. They manually check and verify your deposit for your down payment. They manually check to see that the bills were paid to the landlord that has your name on the lease. And when they do all that, they establish that you can pay bills. Okay, understood. And that's how the mortgages used to be done in the 70s and 80s until the FICO score took over. Now, FICO scores, mortgage brokers sometimes are just like a monkey they look at the number and go, ooh, number big or number not big? And that's the only way they can make a loan. They're just dumber than a rock. Okay? But you really look at the actual human being and figure out what's going on. Now, I don't know how to do that. Where one of you has no credit score and the other one has a big one. I don't know the combination of that. That's the one piece or one of the two variables I'm not sure about in your situation. And I have no idea how this green card thing plays into it. That's the second thing. I don't know, okay? But I do know this. I do know that Churchill Mortgage that we have endorsed on this show for 30 years. They're friends of mine. If you will call Churchill Mortgage and talk to them, they will work. Tell them I've got to have some help. I talked to Dave on the air. He said to call and they'll explain to you in detail what you're facing. It might be that because one of you have a credit score and the other one doesn't, that the manual underwriting for you can't be combined with her high credit score. You see what I'm saying? I don't know if you can do that or not. I've never tried to do that. I've always done it where both people were married and neither of them had a score, or both people were married and they both had a good score. Okay. Now, so. And again, I have no idea. What are you? Australian or uk? What is it? What's the accent?

[Rachel Cruz]

I'm from New Zealand.

[Dave Ramsey]

New Zealand, Okay. All right. And so. Missed it all the way around, but yeah. So you're close with Australia? Yeah, I'm aiming in the general direction of the globe, but, yeah, anyway. Yeah, so I don't know how that stuff works. My pastor is Australian and he has a house and he's married to an American.

[Nathan]

I think he got his citizenship.

[Dave Ramsey]

He does have a citizenship today, but. Yeah, but he come. He's. So, anyway, that's a good point.

[Nathan]

But Jake, too, you know, when you guys go and dice this out, you know, one of you being on the.

[Dave Ramsey]

Mortgage, it's not going to work. They can't count both incomes is the problem with that. And you got to have both. You need both incomes to count to be able to get the home that you're looking at. And that's a valid. It's a valid request because you legitimately both have the Income. And with a green card, you're allowed to have an income. I do know that. Okay. So, you know, you're not. It's not like.

[Nathan]

Are you guys. Is your wife out of debt?

[Rachel Cruz]

No, we're out of debt. We're on baby step three. So we just managed it.

[Nathan]

You got a house now take. Oh, yeah. Do you have a mortgage now?

[Rachel Cruz]

We do have a mortgage. It's my wife's home. We're in Phoenix. That. I'm on the market.

[Nathan]

Sure. Because that'll keep it. I was gonna say.

[Dave Ramsey]

Rachel was saying let hers go to zero, but it's not going to as long as she's got an open account.

[Nathan]

Yep.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

And so she's gonna have an open account long. She owns that house, and you don't need to sell that house just to do this. So I don't know the answer to those two questions, but if I were in your shoes, I would go to. I'm not gonna take one mortgage broker's opinion. I'm gonna go get. I'm gonna keep asking somebody till I get the answer I want.

[Rachel Cruz]

Sure.

[Dave Ramsey]

Until I learn enough about it to figure out how to somehow game this system. Because it's an unreasonable. I'm with you not counting your income as unreasonable.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

And so I'm not gonna accept an unreasonable answer because it's not logical. The point is, your income is there and it can be used to pay the freaking bill. So the mortgage company's not counting that and for some reason or another is just bureaucratic bullcrap.

[Nathan]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

So I'm going to find some way to work around it. I will tell you another try Churchill. And if you can't get this figured out with them, you probably can. I think they'll solve it. But the other thing you can do is go to someone like Fairwinds Credit Union, our other. One of our other advertisers, and they portfolio the loans, meaning they keep the loan in house. And if they're going to keep the loan in house, that means they make up the rules.

[Nathan]

And they may be able to.

[Dave Ramsey]

They can just look at it and decide. We're going to count it because this guy's reliable. We're going to do manual underwriting on him, and we're going to look at her credit score and we're going to count it. And they can just decide to do that, because what they're trying to do is to meet what's called conforming lending guidelines so they can resell the loan. Brokers don't keep the Loans, they resell the loan. And in order for the loan to be marketable, when they resell it, it has to meet these guidelines. And your guy can't figure out how to meet the guidelines in your situation. Churchill may be able to figure it out, but if neither one of them can go to a place that portfolios, meaning they keep the loan, they're not selling the loan. So whatever guidelines they're comfortable with, they can just do it because the loan's going to be on the books at the credit union.

[Nathan]

Yeah, that's a great point.

[Dave Ramsey]

And that one will work as well. That's another way to get at this. Wow. Interesting. Interesting. I've never run into that.

[Nathan]

Yeah, well, it's always a. It's, it's such a frustrating thing because it creates these hurdles, which is true. When you don't live with debt and you don't have a credit score, there are going to be some of these hurdles that you run into. You can, you can mostly always get past them.

[Dave Ramsey]

He might just have not been in the country long enough to establish a.

[Nathan]

Country with the green coffee. Yeah, yeah. But, but you guys keep on the track though, because I think the, the mindset that you guys are in sounds like a good, stable place. So don't go off the reservation and do something crazy just to get this house.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, I knew this house. So I'm going to take a 14 interest rate. Nope, nope, we'll pass. We're going to work on a different way. Another way to skin this cat. This is the Ramsey Show. Foreign. Do you ever get these sketchy text.

[Rachel Cruz]

Messages that are like, hey, you need.

[Dave Ramsey]

To update your address and verify so we can get you the package you didn't order?

[Nathan]

Yes, I have, George. Sketchy. And never trust them.

[Rachel Cruz]

And that's why we recommend delete me. They help with that.

[Nathan]

Yeah, they do. Delete Me actually goes in and removes your information from data broker websites. And it is an incredible service that everyone needs, needs.

[Dave Ramsey]

And there's a lot of shady companies.

[Rachel Cruz]

Out there that solely exist to sell.

[Dave Ramsey]

Your personal data to bad guys. And that means your info, like your.

[Rachel Cruz]

Email address, your home address, your kids.

[Dave Ramsey]

Names, your name, everything is just out.

[Rachel Cruz]

There for scammers and spammers to find.

[Nathan]

So much.

[Rachel Cruz]

But Delete me will delete your data, hence the name.

[Dave Ramsey]

It's gone. They'll wipe it out for you so.

[Rachel Cruz]

You can sleep easy.

[Nathan]

That's right. And then once they remove your information, then they're going to send you a detailed report telling you where they found your information when they removed it. How many hours they've saved you? I mean it is incredible. So detailed and it's beautiful.

[Dave Ramsey]

Get this. So far they've reviewed 27,000 listings on.

[Rachel Cruz]

My behalf, removed me from 240 data broker sites and saved me 77 hours of time. It's incredible.

[Nathan]

Absolutely amazing. And Winston and I now get fewer texts, weird emails, spam calls, all of it.

[Dave Ramsey]

I love it. So you gotta be sure to check them out.

[Rachel Cruz]

Ramsey fans get get 20 off their annual plans.

[Dave Ramsey]

Just go to joindeleteme.com Ramsey that comes up to less than 9 bucks a month. Super affordable.

[Nathan]

Again, that's joins the late me.com Ramsey make sure to check it out, you guys.

[Rachel Cruz]

Hey, what's up? Dr. John Deloney here. The new dates have dropped for the.

[Nathan]

Money and marriage getaway over Valentine's day weekend in 2026.

[Rachel Cruz]

This is your chance to hit pause on everything in your life and reconnect with your spouse. Over a long weekend in Nashville, Tennessee, me and my friend Rachel Cruz will be digging topics like sex, money, communication and more. This weekend is happening on February 12th through the 14th and early bird. Prices start at $749 per couple, but the prices will be going up soon. Get your tickets [e-mail] events.

[Dave Ramsey]

Buying or Selling your home's a big deal. And between clickbait headlines and confusing data, it's tough to know what's actually going on in the housing market. Well, we're here to make the latest trends easy to understand. Median home prices went up slightly last month. About $430,000 is the median home price in America today. There's more homes on the market right now, nearly a million for sale, the highest since 2019. But in many areas, there's still not enough to meet demand. There's still more buyers than sellers. Average fixed rate loans now 5.9% on a 15 year and it's still under 6. So there you go. So if you're financially ready, it's a good time to buy. Really good time to sell, you know. To learn more about the housing market trends and buy or sell with confidence, go to ramseysolutions.com market or click the link in the show notes. Billy's in Kansas City. Hey, Billy, how are you?

[Rachel Cruz]

Hi. Doing good. Thanks for taking my call.

[Dave Ramsey]

Sure. How can I you help?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah. I'm 30 years old and I work as a retail manager making about 45,000 a year. I have about $35,000 in debt and my question is, I watch your show for a long Time. And I know about the snowball. I kind of know the steps to get out of it, but I have really bad OCD and I can't. I don't use my kitchen at home. So I spend a lot of money on pre made meals and going out to eat. And I was trying to see if there's any way you could give me a budget of how to get out of debt while maybe keeping a small budget so I could keep buying pre made meals.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. I'm a little bit. I'm not. Dr. John Deloney is not here, so I don't know how. I don't understand how OCD keeps you from cooking your meal. Matter of fact, it ought to make you good. It ought to make you good at it. Like following a recipe exactly right.

[Rachel Cruz]

It's just like it's a contamination problem and I have started going to therapy for it and.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh, you're worried about doing.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, yeah, it's a germ thing. And so I'm going to therapy for it. But I want to start. And I know I'll get there eventually, but I want to start my debt, I want to start getting out of debt now. So my question is, is there any way I can make a budget where I can keep buying meals out or ordering like factory meals, stuff like that, and start getting out of debt?

[Nathan]

Well, you know, Billy, looking at your numbers, regardless of the OCD and the meal prep, you know, whole thing, I would tell you, regardless of all of that, your income, it's got to go up, right. If you have $45,000 coming in, and that's before taxes, and you have $35,000 in debt, there's going to be, we.

[Dave Ramsey]

Need to increase your income 20 grand on a side hustle.

[Nathan]

What is the 35,000 in debt? What does that, what does that consist of?

[Rachel Cruz]

Well, I have $20,000 in a car.

[Nathan]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruz]

And then I have about $12,000 in like unsecured past debt that are, that are all going to collections.

[Nathan]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruz]

And it's from a long time ago. I don't really have anything that's current besides my car.

[Nathan]

Okay. How much is your, how much is your car worth today?

[Rachel Cruz]

Do you think the car is probably worth 15,000.

[Nathan]

Okay.

[Rachel Cruz]

I owe 20 is the payoff amount, but it's a really high interest. So it's like 36,000.

[Nathan]

Yeah. Do you, do you have any money saved, Billy?

[Rachel Cruz]

500.

[Nathan]

500. Okay. So if I were you, because how much is your car payment a month?

[Rachel Cruz]

500.

[Nathan]

Yeah. So I would be looking to unload this car asap. Meaning try. You're gonna have to get, you're gonna have to get some money to shore it up and you know, some cash available to buy, to buy a crappy car. But that's what I would be working towards because I think when that 500 is freed up, it's going to give you a little bit more wiggle room and what you're needing. And then in addition, as you continue to work more, be able to pay off this 12,000 in the unsecured debt that's going to collections, which if it's going to collections, you could probably settle as well. So I think that there's way out for you. It just. The upping the income is going to be the problem for me. It's not the pre made meals.

[Dave Ramsey]

I mean, I think increasing your income and getting rid of the car are like a 9 out of a scale of 10. You eating out or buying prepackaged meals is a 2 on a scale of 10.

[Rachel Cruz]

Sharing as well, I'm sorry, a little bit on the side. I can do ride sharing to make extra money.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, all right, I don't care. Yeah, that's good. Whatever we can do to create some extra income, some kind of side hustle is necessary here and to begin to look long term about what we can do with your overall career track to get you moving up in income long term, you know, so. But the good news is, I'll tell you, the most positive thing in the whole conversation is you recognize very clearly the problem and you're aggressively searching for some answers to fix the problem. You're not in denial, you're not arguing, you're just trying to figure this out. And that's the kind of people that we talk to that six months later have made dramatic, wonderful changes and set themselves free. So I really, really feel good about where you're going because of where you're standing today, the way your eyes are focused today. Okay. And I don't know beans about this, but it's just interesting to me talking to you about the other stuff. I want you to talk to your therapist about the possibility that you can create a cleaner environment by cooking yourself than probably those meals were cooked in.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

And kind of using that as part of your therapy process because in listening and sitting beside Dr. John for these last several years, one of the things that some of the therapists will recommend and he does is to actually embrace and walk straight into the fearful thing and you know, to start to work through it.

[Nathan]

It's like exposure therapy.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, exposure therapy. So that's kind of what I'm thinking here. But I think there's. If I'm concerned about germs, and that's a fair concern, by the way, I might be more worried about germs at the restaurant that prepared the meal than I would be in my own kitchen where I can control the environment.

[Rachel Cruz]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

That might be an interesting way to do some mental gymnastics with your therapist's help to begin to move that direction. But again, if you start preparing meals at home and don't go out to eat and you keep the car and you don't increase your income, you're gonna have major problems. Dude, the eating out thing is not your problem. Okay? You can put that in the budget if you do the other two things and you can work through it. So I'm just interested in the discussion from an exposure therapy standpoint that way. But I know nothing about it other than I know the phrase that's about it and the concept. But so. But you talk to the professionals about that. In the meantime, sell your car and get an extra job.

[Nathan]

Yeah, yeah. All of that exposure therapy, all that's for just your own health, Billy. Right. I mean, that's not really the key of getting out of debt here. We say cut out restaurants and all that because usually we're talking to a couple or people with kids and you go and drive.

[Dave Ramsey]

They're spending $3,000 a month on restaurants.

[Nathan]

Right, right. And so by you getting prepackaged meals or something like, that's not gonna. That's not gonna. That's not gonna bust your budget. But this car and upping your income is big. And, Billy, if you go on ramseysolutions.com and just type in side hustle. We've done so many articles, recently written articles about this subject, because even doing some of the every dollar webinars that we have done, the amount of money people make is. Is wild. One lady, she's making close to a thousand dollars. You ready for this? Every two weeks by doing laundry for people and folding it. That's her side hustle. So she's making almost two grand a month by doing that. And you're just like, man, that's $24,000 a year.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's impressive.

[Nathan]

Impressive. And that's her side hustle.

[Dave Ramsey]

But I'm saying she got like, rich people. I mean, I don't know, but I.

[Nathan]

Was watching her because she had a video, and I was like, it's, like, pristine. It's beautiful. Oh, my gosh.

[Dave Ramsey]

She's like, A professional laundry folder.

[Nathan]

She does it at night. It's like her side hustle, but she does it for people. So people don't do their own laundry.

[Dave Ramsey]

Oh. So she picks up a bag, takes back everything, folded and on hangers.

[Nathan]

But almost a thousand dollars every two weeks. That's what she's making. So, yeah, it's crazy. So all that to say, Billy, there's some really creative side hustles.

[Dave Ramsey]

You know What?

[Nathan]

Go to ramseysolutions.com because it sounds like.

[Dave Ramsey]

A joke, but it's not. If you're ocd, you'd be really good at that. You would fold that perfectly. That would be awesome. And it's a kind of funny thing, but it's also true. I think that's a good idea. That would be amazing. Yeah, that's good. I like that. You're okay. Okay, Rachel, you're going to live. This is the Ramsey Show.

[Rachel Cruz]

Foreign this show is sponsored by Better Help. More and more people are becoming aware of the need for mental and emotional health resources. But so many of those same people still say they avoid getting therapy due to the fear of judgment. I know because I've personally been there and I've sat with tons of hurting people over the years, and a lot of them are scared to get get help. Listen, when people won't get help, it.

[Nathan]

Doesn'T just affect them. It impacts their families, their workplaces, and their entire communities.

[Rachel Cruz]

The world is better when people are healthy and whole. The world is better when you are healthy and whole. So if you're thinking about trying therapy, let's go through that fear of judgment and contact my friends at Better Help. BetterHelp is 100% online therapy, so it's affordable and convenient for your schedule. BetterHelp has a network of more than 30,000 licensed therapists with a wide range of specialties. And BetterHelp has over 10 years experience matching people with just the right therapist. So to get started, just fill out a short online survey and they'll match you up with a licensed therapist. And if it's not the right fit.

[Nathan]

You can switch therapists at any time.

[Rachel Cruz]

And switching is easy and it costs no extra money. Listen, we're all better with help. Visit betterhelp.com DeLoney to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H-E-L-P.com DeLoney.

[Dave Ramsey]

Buying and selling a home is a big deal and you want an expert in your corner fighting for you to get the right deal at the right price. That's why we only recommend Ramsey trusted real estate agents. They're handpicked pros who know their stuff, listen to your needs and have your back from the first call all the way to closing day. To find a Ramsey trusted agent near you, visit ramseysolutions.com agent ramseysolutions.com agent if you're tired of living paycheck to paycheck and you're wondering where your money's going, your first steps getting on a plan. See you don't win on accident. You win with a plan that's called a budget in our world. The team is hosting a free budget trainings this month. Several of them. You'll learn step by step how to make and stick to a budget using the Every Dollar app, the world's best budgeting app. Plus you can get your biggest budgeting questions answered in a live Q and A. It's completely free. Sign up for [e-mail] webinar Brady's in Boise. Hi Brady, welcome to the Ramsey Show.

[Rachel Cruz]

Hey Dave. Virgil, thanks for taking my call.

[Dave Ramsey]

Sure. What's up?

[Rachel Cruz]

Hey. My wife and I, we've done pretty well. Been married about a year and a half. Saved up a down payment for a house. We've got about $110,000.

[Dave Ramsey]

Wow.

[Rachel Cruz]

We're really wanting, yeah we're really wanting to follow your guys plan with 15 year mortgage but the average house price here just based off our incomes, we're going to be a little bit over that 25% mark on a 15 year and I heard George mention it on an episode the other day where he said it's kind of a guideline and just kind of give you context. We spend about 6 to $7,000 a month. Our total salaries is 210 but our total take home was 275 last year. And just kind of what we're looking at, I'm trying to determine if that 25% mark is flexible. And yeah, we save about 5 to 6,000amonth and that's with rent of about 25%.

[Nathan]

What will the, what will it be at what percentage.

[Rachel Cruz]

The interest rate or.

[Dave Ramsey]

What is the, what percentage of your take home pay? Not counting 401k and not counting health insurance coming out of your check. Is it 27 income? What percentage of that is your payment going to be?

[Rachel Cruz]

The house? We're looking at like 37% right now.

[Dave Ramsey]

Bull crap. That's dumber than a rock. No, that's not, that's not a guideline. That's running your car through a wall. Yeah, it's not even.

[Nathan]

I think I was actually on the show with George when we were talking about this because we, I think we were talking to somebody and I remember he was moving actually looking in Williamson County. This is the same call, Brady. I don't know if it was. And he was right at like 26.2% or something. And that's when we were like, I'm.

[Dave Ramsey]

Not going to grab about that 37%. Dude, you're going, you're not going. You're going to be house poor. You're going to be strapped, you're not going to be able to breathe. So, okay, Boise is not double the national average. You're looking in a neighborhood you can't afford. Dude, the median, the median house price in America today is 431,000. Boise would be pretty close to right up the middle of that. So the median house price in that area is a half million dollars. And you're looking at a million dollar property.

[Rachel Cruz]

We're looking at 550. Total monthly payment is $4,000 a month with 110 down.

[Dave Ramsey]

I'm doing something wrong. Wait a minute. There's something wrong with this formula. Okay, so $275,000 and so that's $20,000 a month take home pay. Right.

[Rachel Cruz]

Our take homes. I just based off salary. That's what my wife and I decided was 210,000 salary.

[Dave Ramsey]

You don't get to decide. It's your income. What if you were on straight commission and you made 400,000, but I want to base it off my salary. Well, then you'd be living in a teepee. So. No, we look at our income. Dude, is your income not stable?

[Rachel Cruz]

No, income's pretty stable as far as.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you have a $275,000 income.

[Nathan]

No, he said 210.

[Dave Ramsey]

He said 210 plus bonuses. 275.

[Nathan]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's his income. So that's a $20,000 a month take home pay, which is a $5,000 a month payment that you can afford on 15 year fixed. Right. Am I doing this wrong?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, no, I think I was doing my math wrong then. Dave was. I was looking at our210 and netting out our giving.

[Dave Ramsey]

And obviously your giving is not one of the things.

[Nathan]

And retirement as well. Add that back in.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah.

[Nathan]

So it's before. It's really just after taxes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Tax income.

[Nathan]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

Monthly divided by giving you a 25% on a 15 year fixed and 15 year fixed this week or 5.9. I will say 5.9%.

[Nathan]

The phrasing take home Pay can be confusing because you're thinking what hits your account. And already insurance, 401k, you know, all of that's taken out before it hits your account. So quote unquote, take home pay just means after tax.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah, that's the misnomer here. But point being is that if it's so I think that's gonna. When you rework the numbers with those two different things should come changes. I think you're going to be real close.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah, it sounds like we were just.

[Dave Ramsey]

Way being way too conservative accidentally because you were taking out 401k and other stuff and then on purpose on the 210 versus the 275. Yeah.

[Nathan]

You have more wiggle room.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. So I mean, and so what were the purpose of the whole discussion though is this. Don't get yourself, all of you out there in America in a position where you're what we call house poor. That by the time you pay your house payment and you buy food, you're broke. Which means everything that comes up in your life is probably going to turn into new debt. Unless you're very strong because you're not saving for car replacement, you're not saving for the next couch, you're not saving for Christmas, you're not saving for vacation. And all these things turn into new debt because you've got no margin in your monthly budget because you spent it all on your stinking house. When you put yourself in a corner and make yourself house poor is what we're trying to prevent for you because it's not a sustainable thing. You can't sustain that for 10 years. So you call me up and you of your take home pay after taxes, you got 40 or 37% going to your house payment, you're not going to be able to survive doing that. That's going to come back and bite you in the butt because you set yourself up to be house poor because that's a lot of money and you took away all the margin to do other stuff that you are going to do and then it's going to end up being new debt or it's going to end up being a strain or it's going to end up. We don't keep up with maintenance because we're out of money all the time and that's all we're trying to prevent with. We don't have any pride in the actual 25% number. It's just a math thing. You need some what we call what economists call disposable income. After you pay your house payment so that you can do other stuff in life. And that's all we're trying to get to here. And so, yeah, Brady, I think you're okay when you get down into this and you unpack this, because I was doing it quick in my head, but I think you're pretty close and you're probably gonna be fine. But let's just talk through it. And the overarching principle is not 25 versus 26% to George's point, of it being a quote unquote guideline. But the overarching principle is don't get yourself in a position where you can't breathe because you got house fever. And instead of taking a cold shower, you went and bought something and you paint yourself in the corner. The proverbial. You get wet paint on your feet because you're stuck in the corner and everything's wet. And you created a life that is not sustainable without creating a mess.

[Nathan]

Yeah. And we, and we always go back to this principle and idea. The whole reason for all of this, right? The whole. The whole reason of being wise with your money, of taking control, of budgeting, having smart percentages with where you're allocating things, it's to create peace. That money is one place in our lives that can create so much chaos, and we're trying to avoid that. How can we let this part of our lives, our money, have peace in our lives and it not be the stress point? And so always remember that when you're looking at buying big things, you know, whether it's a new car or a house, is this going to create peace for us or is this going to create more stress and anxiety? And that's what we're trying to avoid. So that's again, the heart behind it. But always remember that we're looking for peace. We want peace in life. We don't want to be stressed and full of anxiety. So how do we do that with our money?

[Dave Ramsey]

That's good. That's good. Dr. John talks about that. And, you know, the. The redefining anxiety, you know, solve for peace. Yes, solve for peace. And that's what we're doing. And if it means solving for peace.

[Nathan]

Yeah. And if Brady's numbers were more like what we were talking about at the beginning, as we were wrong, then drive 20 more minutes to go get a house to keep peace. Like, you know what I mean? Like, whatever that means that you have to do it is. It is worth it. It is worth it for your soul as a human in this life to have that piece. It is Worth it.

[Dave Ramsey]

Listen, guys, I've heard just about every excuse for why folks think they can't get ahead with money. So let's go ahead and settle this right now. You get the final say on what happens with your money. That's why you have to start telling your money where to go, so you can stop wondering where it went. So if you're going to start winning with money, you have to get on a budget. The easiest way to get started and stick to it is with the EveryDollar budget app. It'll help you make a plan for every single dollar coming in and every single dollar going out every single month. And guess what? It's free. So no excuses. Download EveryDollar in the app Store or Google Play today. Are you staying on track with the baby steps? If you want to take a quick quiz to check your progress and receive a personalized plan, head to the show notes, click the link titled are you on track with the baby steps? Complete the free quiz and we'll help you get a personalized plan and get you going. Jessica is in Lancaster. Hi, Lancaster. Hey, Jessica. What's up?

[Rachel Cruz]

I was just wondering, how do you blend finances or how do you do finances with a blended family, especially when you don't have children together? Short backstory. He has two kids from previous marriage and 50. 50 custody. I have one and have sole custody and trying to figure out finances.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay. And so those are all three minors?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

Otherwise custody doesn't come up, obviously. Okay. Okay.

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

And how old are the babies?

[Rachel Cruz]

12, 10 and 7.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Nathan]

And is there child support payments on either end that paying out or coming in?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yes. So he pays about 400 in child support. And I receive. And I have sole custody. I receive about 100 monthly. Monthly. Each of us. Monthly.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay.

[Nathan]

Okay.

[Dave Ramsey]

I don't think there's any difference. I think you have three kids to raise and you just, you just run your household and both of you love three children because you love each other. And so you're going to love each other's children.

[Rachel Cruz]

Right.

[Nathan]

And I get, for me, it was.

[Rachel Cruz]

Like financial security for mine since they're mom works too, so they have financial support on both ends.

[Nathan]

And I think I got stuck because.

[Rachel Cruz]

I was like, I am the only one financially in a sense responsible for mine.

[Dave Ramsey]

No, not now. Because you married a man who took on the responsibility of you and this child. Not legally, maybe there probably wasn't an adoption. But if I'm that husband and I marry you, that child, I'm bound to take care of them, just like I'M bound to take care of my two. That's what he took on. I think from a social standpoint, a relational standpoint, that's the proper thing. And you don't have Cinderella. We don't have one kid that gets more child support than the other two. And so they get more or less money or something like, oh, you don't get as much child support, so you have to wear the worn out tennis shoes. No, we're not doing that. You know, we all get the same stuff. We all go to the same trips, we all go to the same restaurants, we all go to the same schools, you know, the ones that we can afford, you know, in all cases, right, as a family unit. And I think that's the most healthy way to treat this. And it's, it's.

[Nathan]

And I wonder too, Jessica, I mean, I don't have a blended family, so I don't know. But I would even think though that his kids that have 50, 50 custody, you know, you guys will be paying half really for them, expenses wise, right? When they're with you, half the month you have them, but then other half you don't have them. So you're not paying when they're not there. Right. For eating and all that kind of stuff too.

[Dave Ramsey]

So it's going to work out. But I mean, you just have a grocery budget for this family that has two part time kids and one full time kid.

[Nathan]

Right?

[Dave Ramsey]

You know?

[Rachel Cruz]

Yeah.

[Dave Ramsey]

And that's how I would look at it mathematically.

[Nathan]

Is there anything specific, Jessica, that y' all keep running into or is it just more conceptually like you? Just a conceptual question, I guess a little of both.

[Rachel Cruz]

Because like right now we have, I have a checking account, he has a checking account. And then we have a joint shared account that we pay all the bills out of. And he wanted everything to go into that account.

[Nathan]

And I was like, why?

[Rachel Cruz]

Kind of again, part of this was just already having the checking account in existence, wanted to maintain it because that's where I pay, like my car out of and such things. And I think for maybe ease, he wanted everything into one.

[Dave Ramsey]

And then he now took on your car. He took on you, your car, your kids, you took on his two kids, you took on whatever good and bad he took on, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health. And the old book of common prayer, marriage vows said, unto thee, all my worldly goods I pledge. In other words, we're all in. And that was the viewpoint on that. It doesn't sound like either one of you have existing Extreme wealth. And the other one doesn't. It sounds like both of you just. Have you got some scars from how you got here? And it makes you a little bit. A little bit tender on wanting to maintain some. Some individuality, so to speak.

[Rachel Cruz]

Right? That makes sense.

[Dave Ramsey]

Yeah. And I. Yeah, but I think.

[Nathan]

Do y' all do a budget together? Jessica. With both incomes. I'm just curious, serious. We had, like, a rough estimate, but we're still trying to, like, okay, you know. You know, an interesting exercise for you guys would be. It's kind of a nerdy one, so, like, have a glass of wine and enjoy it because it's number heavy. But sit down and just say, okay, what if we took this philosophy not just tactically, we're sharing one account, like what he's saying, but even emotionally. And like, let's put all the expenses right. You said, well, I pay for my car over here, year. Put it in the middle. Put it. Everything goes in the middle of the pot. And let's do a budget with both incomes in there, both sets of kids, like, all of it. Right?

[Dave Ramsey]

Both of us have a vote. Both of us have full transparency.

[Nathan]

And let's create that budget, see what that looks like monthly. And then, Jessica, I mean, honestly. And then dream a little and just say, hey, in five years, in 20, 30, how old will the kids be? What do we want our life to look like? And what are some fun goals? And how could we get there together? And again, mathematically, looking at the numbers of it. Start just, like, running some rough estimates and numbers, because I think it's more exciting. And you may find it exciting. Hopefully you do when you actually see some stuff, you know, being put together, and you're like, oh, we can get ahead so much faster when we. Like when we really do tactically work together. But then emotionally, like, there's something about it that's so uniting. And again, I understand the second marriages. There's some hesitation with this for a.

[Dave Ramsey]

Lot of people, but that's what that. What that requires is a sensitivity to that. And that sensitivity is answered by extreme amounts of communication and extreme amounts of. Both of you have a vote on purchases. Both of you have a vote on the monthly budget, and both of you speak up.

[Nathan]

Yes.

[Dave Ramsey]

And as long as your voice counts and you have full transparency, then that's a way to touch. To deal with that sensitive issue. A weird thing is, in our life, we don't have that. Sharon and I don't. But having go broke, I'll tell you what a sensitive issue is at Our house, The emergency fund. If I even walk near the drawer, if I even walk near the drawer where the emergency fund is, she comes out of her with claws. She can't. Because it's a sensitive thing. Because we were broke and she was terrified.

[Nathan]

Or if you want to go buy something big and she's like, how much is in the account? Like, you know, just double checking.

[Dave Ramsey]

Double checking. Yeah. And so, you know, but. And so what we do is we are offset that sensitive thing by having an emergency fund for the emergency fund at our house. Most people don't need to do that. But because we got that scar here, we have to figure that out. So you work around it, and for you guys, you just say, hey, because we both come into this and we had bad experiences before, we have to be super diligent about our communication and our transparency and both of us having a voice.

[Nathan]

Yes. And you both coming from similar situations. Maybe the cause of it is different, but that. That is built in empathy. Right. You're both coming from situations. So that's. That's the positive where we talk to some people and, you know, they marry someone who was divorced, and they don't trust them now. You know, it's like this whole thing.

[Dave Ramsey]

So you can't transform.

[Nathan]

Hopefully there's some of that empathy. But I really. Would Jessica, sit down together, and you guys just.

[Dave Ramsey]

That's good.

[Nathan]

Just put it all in one pile. Because there's just something about it that I think can be very energizing, where a lot of people feel a lot of fear around that and, like, a lot of caution, which is understandable. But once you. You just pretend you're like, I'm not. We're not really doing it right now. Let's just pretend and have fun and, like, take out a sheet paper and just start figuring this out. Like, there's something about it that is really uniting, and you can see how fast you guys can move together. And that's the other big thing couples miss out on. That's one of the biggest arguments is we feel like, well, we just have separate accounts completely, and you lose the synergy. Yeah. There's just something that's like, you're just gonna. Certain go at a certain pace your whole life financially with that mindset. And so there's something and really powerful about it. But I think it's a fair question. And we get. Yeah. I mean, the blended family thing is real. And even, you know, if there's people coming in with. I know. We've got. We got a question. I know, it's probably been a few weeks, but, you know, she came into the marriage with a lot of land from her family, and she. You know, she like, she's like, if something happens to this second marriage, do they get the land? His kid? I don't know. Like, there's. There's just some. There can be some complex, even estate planning stuff when this occurs, but it doesn't sound like you're there, Jessica, but just those are real problems. So if you guys have them, we. We see that and hear that.

[Dave Ramsey]

Amen. Amen. This is the Ramsay show. Hey, what are you still doing here? You know the rest of the show's happening on the Ramsey network app, right? So you got to jump over there to continue watching.

[Rachel Cruz]

You can download it for free.

[Dave Ramsey]

Just go to your app store store, type in Ramsey network.

[Rachel Cruz]

It's completely free, and I'll drop a.

[Dave Ramsey]

Link in the show notes to make.

[Rachel Cruz]

It easy for you. So if you're watching on the app, you're in luck. But if you're watching anywhere else, this.

[Dave Ramsey]

Show is over for you. So jump onto the app and let the fun continue.

[Rachel Cruz]

All right, go on now. Don't make it weird. Okay. I got nowhere to go, so you need to go.

[Dave Ramsey]

Okay, bye.

[Rachel Cruz]

Bye, now.

[Dave Ramsey]

All right, this is. It's getting weird over there, guys.

[Rachel Cruz]

What do we do?