Hopeless Romance with an Audacious Femme

Summary

The Read Podcast: “Hopeless Romance with an Audacious Femme”

Hosts: Kid Fury & Crissle | April 23, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode of The Read is a seamless blend of shade, social commentary, hip-hop/pop culture news, and heartfelt listener advice. Kid Fury and Crissle serve witty humor and incisive takes on everything from viral celebrity drama to the sobering realities affecting Black women in America. The conversation navigates the audacious (e.g., cruise ship wildness, wild celebrity antics), the heartfelt (Black excellence, tragic news affecting Black women), and the intimate (listener letters on romance and family).

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Black Excellence: Orchestra Noir

[00:49 – 03:22]

• Spotlight: Orchestra Noir, an all-Black orchestra founded by Jason Akeem Rogers (originally from North Philly, now in Atlanta).
• Mission: To represent Blackness authentically within classical music, making it accessible and engaging for Black audiences—including blending early 2000s hip-hop and R&B with classical.
• Quote from Jason:
  “I felt the nation needed to see and hear an all Black orchestra that was playing and performing its own culturally representative music in a very authentic way and not shying away from anything in regards to how we do culture. That era of music... it shaped identity, confidence, culture.” —Crissle, reading Jason's words [02:10]

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Hot Tops: Pop Culture Shade & Tea

[03:25 – 35:21]

1. Sydney Sweeney Out of Devil Wears Prada Sequel

[03:25 – 06:45]

• Topic: Sydney Sweeney reportedly cut from the sequel.
• Hosts’ Take: Petty delight at her removal due to her perceived MAGA affiliations (“If you can't say you're not MAGA, then you might as well be MAGA as far as I’m concerned.” —Kid Fury [04:51])
• Memeable Moment: Jokes about Sweeney’s “blue jeans” meme and her not fitting the film.

2. Ashley Everett & The Influencer Virgin Voyages Cruise

[06:57 – 17:16]

• Chaos Recap: Ashley Everett (Beyoncé’s former dancer) complains publicly about her experience on a cruise; claims of being mistreated and her birthday ignored.
• Reality: Other Black influencers refute, say they had a blast on the adult-only Virgin cruise. Hosts share rave cruise stories, including adult themes like “swinger pineapples” and OnlyFans content.
• Quote:
  “Next time I go, I’m gonna bring a nigga. That was the only thing missing. Like, you do need something to fuck on.” —Kid Fury [10:46]
  “I see why they were like, Ashley girl, we not trying to hear that before Virgin up and stop inviting our Black asses on this amazing shit. Now you shut your ass up.” —Crissle [11:46]
• Memorable Fact: Pineapples signal swingers; balcony rooms have hammocks (hosts swoon).

3. Ice Spice McDonald’s Incident

[17:16 – 21:32]

• Event: Ice Spice confronted and slapped at a McDonald’s with a useless white friend in tow.
• Hosts’ Commentary:
  “Some of y’all really gotta go have a conversation with the people who neglected you...out here trying to pick a fight with somebody recognizable so you can be on the Shade Room or TMZ. That’s a wild life.” —Crissle [19:24]
  “You can’t be out here by yourself, girl, you too famous for that.” —Kid Fury [21:23]
• Theme: Sympathizing with Ice Spice and critique of clout-chasing culture.

4. Drake’s “Iceman” Album Release Stunt

[21:32 – 30:44]

• Promotion: Fans chipped away at an ice sculpture in Toronto for a hidden release date.
• Hosts: Like the idea, side-eye the chaos (city shut it down for safety).
• Speculation: Not hyped for the music itself; Kid Fury wishes for a return to “girl, I just respect you and love you so much” Drake. Both predict the album will likely be petty and defensive.
• Quote:
  “Once again, I’m going to give it my best, but I can’t say I’m anticipating it because it’s been a while since he’s really hooked me with the music.” —Kid Fury [25:35]

5. Beyoncé “DeLulu Hive” and Met Gala Rumors

[30:44 – 33:58]

• Viral Fandom: Stan speculation about surprise albums tied to the Met Gala, dissecting timestamps and lyrics for “clues.”
• Hosts: Laugh off the overzealous theorizing.
  “The thing is, you can find a hint in anything if you really, really want to. And that’s the game I’m not going to play.” —Kid Fury [32:34]

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Listener Letters

[39:33 – 72:29]

1. Updates (Chris Brown Tix, Stalking Ex)

[39:38 – 44:48]

• Recaps: Satisfying outcomes: a listener’s mom gets Chris Brown tix without them; another listener discovers a hidden voice recorder from a stalker.
  “There are people out there in the world who act like this.” —Kid Fury [42:09]
  Hosts advise breaking a lease, getting a PO box, and prioritizing safety over inconvenience.

2. Platonic Friendship After a Brief Romance

[46:05 – 53:12]

• Letter: Listener Lee wonders if their deep connection after a short romance is truly platonic.
• Hosts: Candid; say it’s most likely not—“You just like each other and you’re still hanging out. So maybe don’t do that.” —Crissle [47:56]

3. Sibling Resentment and Family Secrets

[53:13 – 65:00]

• Letter: Savannah, youngest of five, is confronted with an older sister’s bombshell about infidelity, family ostracization, and being viewed as a “secret.”
• Hosts: Advise not to take blame; point to the father’s actions, recommend distance from toxic relatives, and validate Savannah’s feelings.
  “Why are you saying this to me? I’m trying to have a relationship with you. You’re my sister.” —Kid Fury [58:52]

4. Lesbians & The Ex

[66:32 – 72:25]

• Letter: Mumbo feels disrespected by a woman openly hosting/talking about her ex.
• Hosts: Not controlling to set that boundary.
  “You can find somebody else who is not gonna play with your fucking feelings like this right in front of your face.” —Kid Fury [70:39]
  “Let this be a sign...We are raggedy too, okay?” —Kid Fury [72:25]

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The Read | Rant: Violence Against Black Women

[77:38 – 87:06]

1. Rest In Power: Nancy Mater & Domestic Violence Crisis

• Story: Mourning Nancy Mater, Black environmentalist & vice mayor of Coral Springs, murdered by her partner.
• Call to Action:
  “Black women are not disposable. They are the most valuable human beings on the planet...Get your shit together, Black men.” —Crissle [78:35]
• Related: Kid Fury details other recent atrocities (Shreveport shootings). Focus on men’s violence, challenges deflection and victim-blaming.
• Quote:
  “This is the kind of shit where people get weapons for their own protection, and I fully understand that...It’s not gonna be me, babe.” —Kid Fury [43:04 regarding the stalking update]
  “When are we gonna talk about the fact that we have a problem with men being violent towards women?” —Kid Fury [86:52]

2. Additional Rants:

• Cardi B Tour Shade: Fans weirdly demanding Kid Fury address the tour; dismisses their obsession—
  “Y’all don’t actually care how I feel about the tour. You just wanna yap about me.” —Kid Fury [87:06]
• Trump Administration Clownery: Ridicules Trump’s “tacky” McDonald’s stunt at the White House, the exploitation of a working-class woman, and general hypocrisy.
• Meg Thee Stallion, Nicki, Cardi B fandoms: Commentary on toxic stan culture, online antics, and disproportionate accountability requests.

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Notable Moments & Quotes

• “If you can't say that you're not MAGA, then you might as well be MAGA as far as I'm concerned.” —Kid Fury [04:51]
• “Black women are not disposable. They're not to be dismissed. They're not to be taken for granted...They are the most valuable human beings on the planet.” —Crissle [78:35]
• “You can find a hint in anything if you really, really want to. And that’s the game I’m not going to play.” —Kid Fury [32:34]
• “Is it controlling to tell a bitch, ‘I don't want to hear about this’?” —Crissle [66:32]
• “Ask yourself: if he texted me tomorrow and said, ‘do you want to be with me?’, would I really be down for that? And I think the answer is yes.” —Kid Fury [50:12]
• “We are raggedy too. Don't believe that lie [that same-sex relationships are easier].” —Kid Fury [72:25]
• “They be like, okay, I know I have a real attitude because this nigga cheated on me with three different hoes...but we gonna get together and make sure these kids all know each other because it’s the right thing to do.” —Kid Fury [60:44] (On women being the bridge in divided families)

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Episode Timestamps: Important Segments

• 00:49: Black Excellence – Orchestra Noir
• 03:25: Hot Tops — Sydney Sweeney/Devil Wears Prada
• 06:57: Ashley Everett/Virgin Voyages Cruise Saga
• 17:16: Ice Spice at McDonald’s
• 21:32: Drake’s “Iceman” Album Antics
• 30:44: Beyoncé Met Gala Rumors
• 39:38: Listener Letters Begin (Chris Brown tickets update, stalker update)
• 46:05: Platonic friendship after a breakup
• 53:13: Family secrets & estrangement
• 66:32: Lesbian dating drama ("am I being controlling?")
• 77:38: The Read – Black women, violence, Nancy Mater’s murder
• 87:06: Cardi B tour drama, Trump’s McDonald’s clownery
• 100:26: Random Rants (including Kev On Stage handling homophobes)

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Closing Thoughts

This episode expertly mixes irreverent comedy, empathy, and no-nonsense real talk, vacillating between viral pop culture, somber societal news, and deeply personal listener questions. Kid Fury and Crissle’s empathy and expertise shine, especially in discussions around the safety and value of Black women, the pitfalls of toxic relationships, and the mess of stan culture. Their ability to scrutinize, cackle, and uplift all in one breath is what continues to make The Read essential listening.

Call(s) to Action:

• Prioritize safety and mental health.
• Black men: Step up for Black women.
• Stan culture: Touch grass.

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(All stories recounted using the hosts’ original humor, language, and shade, with key quotes and moments timestamped. Listener letters and responses have been paraphrased and/or quoted, keeping the spirit and tone of the show.)

Transcript

[Kifuri]

Hey, y'. All, Krystal and Kipuri here. Thank you for tuning into the Read each week. If you want to hear new episodes ad free, subscribe to SiriusXM Podcast plus on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm.com podcastplus to listen with Spotify or another app of your choice.

[Crystal]

Welcome back. Slurs I am Robert Townsend.

[Kifuri]

And I am Dr. Serena Fairfax. And this is the Read. Thank you for joining us.

[Crystal]

Thank you for joining us indeed. Hope you're well and hope you're, you know, it's gonna be may, so keep that eye on the prize. Let's start the usual festivities with black excellence. This week we're going to give honor over to a collective known as Orchestra Noir. It's an all black orchestra that was created in 2016 led by one Jason. Akeem Rogers, who's from North Philly, has been in Atlanta for about 14 years, which is where this group was originated. This is office to fill in a huge gap lacking blackness within classical music and to bring black folk who are not interested in classical music or think that they're not interested in classical music up to the front. They have been all over the place from the inaugural Juneteenth Freedom Vibes Festival, Jimmy Fallon's show. They were the first orchestra to first US Orchestra to present at Red Bull Symphonic. And yeah, they're selling out shows all across the country right now. And I think part of the appeal for you Negroes who wouldn't go to this sort of function is that they're working in early 2000s hip hop and R and B songs, you know, switching the game up so that you girls can go out there and, you know, I guess drop down and get your eagle on or whatever, but with great music and instrumentation and talented people. Jason said, I felt the nation needed to see and hear an all black orchestra that was playing and performing its own culturally representative music in a very authentic way and not shying away from anything in regards to how we do culture. That era of music wasn't just popular, it was foundational. It shaped identity, confidence, culture. This man has three degrees in. What is it? He has three degrees in, I think classical music. Yeah, nice. Went to Philadelphia school district, Cleveland studio music. Listen, you can look up Orchestra Noir, see if they're coming to a city near you and go have a good time. A wang dang doodle and tell me all about it.

[Kifuri]

Yep, Looks terrible.

[Crystal]

This week in our Hot tops segment, just a couple of things to talk about. First, I want to talk about this story that this isn't really a big deal or story to me, but it's kind of petty. Apparently, Sydney Sweeney was supposed to be in Devil Wears Prada Zoo for, like, three minutes playing herself, and reports are saying that she was cut from the movie. Now, obviously, people have a lot to say about this lady after, you know, her jeans were blue or whatever.

[Kifuri]

Oh.

[Crystal]

And so, yeah, they don't like her. And they, I guess, say she's maga, although she's not said she is, but she's. It hasn't said she's not.

[Kifuri]

Right.

[Crystal]

But anyway, I read that it was more of a creative thing than a dramatic, petty thing. Of course, this could be a lie, but they said that Emily from the last film is actually working at Dior, which I didn't notice in the trailer, but she's, I guess, head of operations at Dior. And there's a scene supposed to be at the early parts of the movie where I guess they're dressing Sydney Sweeney up for something, and therefore it goes that it just didn't make structural sense for that part of the movie, so they cut it out. Take that with you. Take that all you want. I don't know.

[Kifuri]

Well, I do love it. If it is true. I don't want Sydney Sweeney to prosper at all. And if you can't say that you're not maga, then you might as well be MAGA as far as I'm concerned. So, yeah, I'd like to see her in fewer things.

[Crystal]

I love how Chili's just, like, she was just hiding her hands and Tian was like, well, let me tell you who this brought it for.

[Kifuri]

She did Snitched immediately. My groupmate did. Like, she couldn't wait to tell us. So, yeah, you niggas gotta pick a side.

[Crystal]

Yikes. I, too, will be fine, um, from going to the thought of. Oh, God, do they really need to make this movie to genuinely looking forward to watching it? Sydney Sweeney not being in it is like, oh, frosting, too. That's nice. Tastes good.

[Kifuri]

Yeah. Like, she wouldn't have ruined it, but it's even better knowing that she maybe just got kicked out of it. That's even better.

[Crystal]

That's not even just that she maybe not be in it, but she may be. Got kicked out of it.

[Kifuri]

Yeah. Yeah. Like, they were like, oh, actually, that's not even the vibe, babe. That's just literally not the vibe. The girls don't come here for that. We don't. That weird. Eurocentric. My jeans are blue. I have great jeans. Even though I'm. I'm Very funny looking like, yeah, that's not the. That's not really the vibe we want to have for the movie. So. No, thank you. I love that.

[Crystal]

Thought they probably tried to put her in jeans in the shot. And she said no. And they're like, well, girl, beat it. If you can't make fun of you, go home.

[Kifuri]

Why would you be at a door fitting wearing jeans? She was like, just fire me. Just fucking fire me.

[Crystal]

Jeans. Really? Oh, I guess it's. We're just having a good time, right?

[Kifuri]

Okay, so now y' all just doing shit.

[Crystal]

What was Ashley Everett doing on them people's boat?

[Kifuri]

Oh, my God.

[Crystal]

I just logged on the threads, and the first thing I saw was a group of black people in all red just having the time of their life, dancing they asses off, doing the Wu Tang and back flipping and House Party 1, 2, and 3. And I was like, oh, look at these niggas having a good time. And I saw something about a cruise. I'm like, oh, they're having a good time on a cruise? Unfathomable. Then I realized it was like, something about a. This. If, like, this. All this information came to me backwards. So it started with the shade. And then I saw, okay, this is in response to some other black woman on this ship that complained about something. And then I found out that other black woman is Ashley Everett, and that she walked her ass up on a stage that she wasn't supposed to be on and tried to do the single lady's choreography, and they told her to get her ass down. And then I guess she made it into, like a. They're giving black people a hard time on this boat. And I believe nearly every black person present on the boat was like, no, I'm having the greatest time. They're feeding me deviled eggs out of their hands. It's been a blast. So, thoughts?

[Kifuri]

Yeah, I saw that same thing on threads. And I. I also. I saw something about her complaining that they didn't do nothing special for her birthday. And then I. Yeah, something about it was my birthday, and it wasn't nothing done for me. Something like that. And then the next post was they had upgraded her to, like, a suite on the boat. And so she was like, okay, I'm gonna delete them posts then. Cause now I'm happy that I have the VIP room. But yeah, I also. I also saw other people being like, this boat is great, and it's a virgin voyages cruise, so I know y' all was having fun. Those cruises are incredible. I've Been on two. They are great. They are. First of all, Virgin Voyages is adults only, no kids.

[Crystal]

Well, that's a great story, which immediately

[Kifuri]

makes it elite as far as I'm concerned. But, yeah, I've been on two. One to the Caribbean and one around France and Spain, and it was so much fucking fun. Um, so I'm not surprised that everybody else was like, I don't know what the issue is with her. I don't know why she thought, like, we all knew the dates for this cruise. You accepted the invitation knowing that the cruise was happening during your birthday. I don't. Did you want strippers to your room? Like, did you want somebody coming out of a cake?

[Crystal]

Like.

[Kifuri]

But I don't know. It's. It's a bunch of, you know, niggas posting on social media. It's not like some real news story about it. But yeah, yeah, the girlies definitely did pipe up to be like, do not let her experience of Virgin keep you from going on Virgin, bitch. Because we are having. Having a good ass time. And I can concur that they. They gave me for free. I paid fully out of pocket. I. The first time I got a regular room. Second time I did the vip, and both times it was an incredible experience.

[Crystal]

How long were your. Were your. Did you. Like a week?

[Kifuri]

It was. Yeah. The first one around the Caribbean was, I think, like, four days. And then the one around Europe that we did for my graduation, that was like a week. And the boat docks, like, every day or every other day. So we went to Ibiza and we went to, like, this wine field in France. And so you get the opportunity to get off the boat and go do shit in them cities, but you can also just stay on the boat. They got pools. There's plenty of liquor. There's no children. I can't emphasize that enough. They got clubs and gambling and karaoke rooms. Yes. Restaurants on the boat. The food on the boat was great. So, like, I just. Next time I go, I'm gonna bring a nigga. That was the only thing missing. Like, you do need something to fuck on. But other than that, it is a good time. It's a good time.

[Crystal]

The best sleep on a boat.

[Kifuri]

Oh, my God. Yes. You open that door. And that's the thing. Even the small rooms have a little balcony, so everybody has a private outdoor space. Even though you not supposed to smoke on it. They very strict about that. But they all have a balcony that has a hammock in it. So you can lay out there and go to sleep. Yes, yes.

[Crystal]

Hammock.

[Kifuri]

Yes. Or you can luxury, or you can just leave the balcony door open and let that ocean air come in at night while that boat is rocking your ass, baby. I can't wait. I cannot wait for my next Virgin cruise. I've never cruised anybody but Virgin. So when y' all are like, oh, I went on Carnival and it was kids everywhere or whatever, I'm like, yeah, I don't know nothing about that, but I had a great fucking time on my cruise. Both of them. It just. Mm. 10 outta 10. Loved it.

[Crystal]

Hammock's on the function. Now I see why N was like, ashley, girl, we not trying to hear that before Virgin up and stop inviting our black asses on this amazing shit. Now you shut your ass up. Ain't nobody to go tell you to up in the club. Just woke up on this motherfucking stage, bitch. There are ropes on it. The ropes on it for a reason.

[Kifuri]

Yeah, they said, we don't. We all know you was in a Single Ladies video. We know who you are. We all have a lot of respect for your talent and your resume, but don't get to lying on these people, okay? Cause I wanna stay on the PR list. And I do not blame y'. All.

[Crystal]

I know them people for Virgin were cackling, so.

[Kifuri]

But, you know, she got an upgraded room, so that seems to have made her happy. And maybe that was. Maybe she just wanted, you know, a little extra special attention because she felt extra special. I don't know. I really don't.

[Crystal]

Why does she just do it on the dance floor?

[Kifuri]

Well, because she's extra special. I don't know. Like, I don't. I don't want to sit here and shit talk this lady if none. If. If everybody's kind of blowing this out of proportion. But.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kifuri]

I did see all them posts from people being like, I'm having a grand old time, never want to leave. So. Yeah, I get it.

[Crystal]

Well, it makes sense now why I saw that sisterhood like Dr. Contessa doing a Wu Tang in that red dress.

[Kifuri]

I was like, what is going on?

[Crystal]

This is on a cruise.

[Kifuri]

Oh, yes.

[Crystal]

These niggas are having a good time. I didn't even know there was, like, a creator thing.

[Kifuri]

Yeah, yeah. And Virgin is because it's adults only. They have a lot of adult themed stuff. They have comedy nights, which, I mean, that's one thing, but they also, you know, the swingers be. Be putting pineapples on the door and. What?

[Crystal]

Yes.

[Kifuri]

Or people will wear pineapples or they'll Put it on the door. So you know that they down for the swinging shit. I saw one guy.

[Crystal]

Why pineapple?

[Kifuri]

I saw actually a few. Pineapple is the. Is the sign for we swinging and we down the fuck on this boat. And I saw a couple of people who had like, little whiteboards on their doors, and they were like, here's my only fans link. If you like what you see, put your room number down or something and let's link like, I'm shooting only fans content while I'm on this cruise. Yes.

[Crystal]

Okay, well, that's business.

[Kifuri]

That's an investment. But because it's adults only, you can do stuff like that. Cause it ain't no children. When I'm like, well, mommy, what's onlyfans? So, yeah, it's great. It's great. I can't wait to go again. I just gotta find a nigga that I wanna be on a boat with for a week.

[Crystal]

Reddit. What is the deal with pineapples and swingers? The pineapple, specifically the upside down pineapple symbol that swingers community. Swinger community uses as identification. It can be. And decorations, decor, clothes are just in mention. Yep. It doesn't say why it's a pineapple.

[Kifuri]

Oh, yeah, that I don't know. But that's they.

[Crystal]

That's they signal, like pineapple upside down cake.

[Kifuri]

What do that have to do with.

[Crystal]

It gives. Because, like, you know, a pineapple upside down cake is almost like a. Like a casserole. It's one of those things that you like in the neighborhood would bring over to, oh, hey, we're the neighbors. Oh, like this thing.

[Kifuri]

Oh. Oh, wow. How did y' all take that into best guess?

[Crystal]

That is my best guess.

[Kifuri]

Okay, that's not a bad one. But yeah, that. I. I can't. I can't say it. You would think they sponsored me the way I love that fucking boat. I had a good time.

[Crystal]

Maybe now they will.

[Kifuri]

I mean, listen, the next time y' all decide you want to invite some niggas out, please, please. The email address is open. I would love to come, but you

[Crystal]

gotta make sure they give you a plus one because.

[Kifuri]

Oh, yeah, yeah, that. I mean, and I've gone with friends. Obviously. It's fun. Don't get me wrong, but sometimes you just been hitting the drinks and partying all night. You like, I just need something to like. That's all that's missing is something to fuck on.

[Crystal]

But maybe you don't bring something to fuck on because what if there are?

[Kifuri]

You're gonna meet somebody to fuck On. On the boat. Exactly.

[Crystal]

Tea cups.

[Kifuri]

Yes.

[Crystal]

So I'm almost tempted now because it does sound like a fun time, but I'm afraid to do cruises that are more than just like, the weekend.

[Kifuri]

I think they do have shorter ones around the Caribbean that are like, maybe three or four days, but.

[Crystal]

Yeah, but they're not like, okay, I've been to the Caribbean a bunch of times. Like, going to Ibiza. Ibiza. And stopping in all of these other different European places sounds more. Yeah, bang for your buck.

[Kifuri]

Right.

[Crystal]

But I'm afraid. I'm scared. Well, but I will watch the Tiktokies.

[Kifuri]

Yeah, I'm glad y' all are having fun, because it's, it's a good time.

[Crystal]

They're having even more fun now because now there are memes making me like I was there.

[Kifuri]

And they are chewing Ashley up. I said, damn, they are annoyed with her. They are giving her a hard time. It said, girl, it's hundreds of influences on this boat. I don't know why you think you elite, but okay, she got her upgraded room, so there you go. Put a rose on you niggas nose.

[Crystal]

Did you see this video of Ice spice at the McDonald's?

[Kifuri]

I did. I did indeed. Mm. Was too much talking.

[Crystal]

Same for the children.

[Kifuri]

Too much talking in that video.

[Crystal]

It really, really was. If you guys haven't seen it, Ice Spice was at a McDonald's here in LA somewhere. It was just her and a white girl who served absolutely no.

[Kifuri]

Perfect.

[Crystal]

I mean, what a disappointment this woman was that was with her. Anyway, yeah, some young lady approached Ice Spice and tried to do the where you from, check in, whatever shit and just slapped her for no fucking reason. And they got separated by some fuck nigga who was also threatening to beat her up.

[Kifuri]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

And it's just her and this white girl who ain't doing a fuck thing. I felt so bad for her.

[Kifuri]

Yeah, I, I, it seems what I heard was that somebody who works at the McDonald's tipped that other girl off that Ice Spice was there. Um, I guess ISIS now understands that, like, she's too famous to just be sitting in a McDonald's eating. Like. Yeah, it's one thing to, to, to go through the drive through and pick up an order and go home. But, girl, you can't just be sitting in McDonald's with no security because these bitches will run up on you. I'm glad it didn't, you know, escalate into something crazier. But, yeah, I was actually shocked she didn't have nobody with her. This white Woman did fuck all. Like, she. She kind of tried to break it up, and then the men got involved, and she just went and picked up, like, the. The cup of pop that fell over herself. I'm like, girl, are you not with this bitch? Like, you supposed to be fighting, too? What is going on? Yeah. Yeah.

[Crystal]

That young woman would not have even gotten close to. As soon as I hear the tone. I'm standing. If I was that girl across the. I'm standing up. You're not even getting close to this young lady over.

[Kifuri]

Cause what do you even want?

[Crystal]

Cause what do you even want besides attention?

[Kifuri]

Yeah, why are you running up on some of y'?

[Crystal]

All? Really. Some of y' all really gotta go have a conversation with the people who neglected you or dismissed you or just never acknowledged you or your heart because y' all going outside trying to pick a fight with somebody recognizable so you can be on the Shade Room or on tmz. That's a wild life.

[Kifuri]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

That's a wild wildlife.

[Kifuri]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

I will say, at least I spice Sheila. Like, you know, when it went there, she was busy. She hopped off to one of them fucking the McDonald's tables. Like, she was showing in a closure

[Kifuri]

price that was actually hilarious.

[Crystal]

People heard, stood up and was like, let's fight. I want to fight that bitch.

[Kifuri]

Yeah, did she said, let me fight that bitch? They took that shit outside in the streets. I'm like, please, somebody. Like, this is. I mean, I used to really love watching people fight. But, yeah, this just felt like, you know, extremely targeted and, like, it could really get out of hand way too quickly. So.

[Crystal]

Right. Fighting for absolutely being a person that you don't know. So bothersome.

[Kifuri]

Right?

[Crystal]

Ugh, that shit was gross.

[Kifuri]

Asking me where I'm from when everybody know I'm from the Bronx is just. You're not. You're not asking where I'm from. You're telling me you want to fight. That's why I'm like, exactly. This is too much talking. What is this white girl even doing? Get your ass up.

[Crystal]

That's exactly. Exactly.

[Kifuri]

Oh, man. Yeah. Well, I'm sure she know now she won't make that mistake again.

[Crystal]

That's the same. I was thinking, too, that white girl. Why do a white girl ain't hop up and be like, you know where she's from? The Bronx. She says it every fucking time like, oh, man, what a useless individual.

[Kifuri]

Too much.

[Crystal]

Like, even if it was the Bronx, like, maybe if he was, like, in the McDonald's and in on a block you grew up on. And I still wouldn't suggest you in there.

[Kifuri]

Right? Yeah, she probably wouldn't even do that.

[Crystal]

A whole other city.

[Kifuri]

Yeah, a shame. But yeah, you can't be out here by yourself, girl, you too famous for that.

[Crystal]

Lessons learned. Speaking of ice, the hip hop feeds are all abuzz with Drake's Iceman album finally having a release date. First of all, we need to talk about how this release date came to be or how the announcement of it came to be. Now, this ice sculpture.

[Kifuri]

Yep.

[Crystal]

This nigga in Toronto had someone erect a mountain of ice, like a bunch of ice bricks. I don't even know what it was supposed to to be. I think it was supposed to maybe look like a stack of money. Whatever it was, a bunch of. It was ice. Frozen ice.

[Kifuri]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

And he told people that within this Mr. Freeze art piece was the release date of his next album. And surprises and a countless amount of fans went out into the streets. It's spring now, so I'm gonna assume that Toronto is not freezing cold.

[Kifuri]

Oh, it is.

[Crystal]

But that ice is. That ice definitely is. And I read on the news outlets that the girls are out there with pickaxes, they're out there with screwdrivers, they're out there with blowtorches. Everybody fighting to chip away at this ice. Like there was a golden ticket inside that would take them to the chocolate factory where they would then, you know, eat candy, flower petals or whatever the shit. Apparently one person did end up finding, like a blue bag in the ice that has some money and a magazine in it that said May 15th. But that was not long before Toronto's fire department said, we're going to melt this sleep. It's dangerous.

[Kifuri]

Oh, I didn't know that part.

[Crystal]

Yeah, they went out there spraying the whole thing with hot water to melt it down. They said, the city is tripping and this is dangerous.

[Kifuri]

Damn.

[Crystal]

Well, so, like, what? Actually, why did.

[Kifuri]

I thought it was a cute idea, the giant ice sculpture and having the fans go out there and try to chip at it. But I can see how the city would be like, this is causing a problem. Like, I don't know how many people are out here or how long it took them to do it, but I thought the idea itself was not a bad one.

[Crystal]

Yeah, I think it's a cool idea too. I wonder if it was a thing where he got like a permit or whatever to do it and then the city was like, okay, we didn't expect it to be this ridiculous. They are bringing fire, right? They got pickaxes.

[Kifuri]

This is doing y' all are doing a lot. Somebody's going to get hurt.

[Crystal]

Yeah, right. And one person is gonna see the golden ticket and then they're gonna fight.

[Kifuri]

Yep.

[Crystal]

Yeah. They already have weapons.

[Kifuri]

Yeah. But it took a. I mean it took a big ass team. All these pictures they posted. It took a. A big team to assemble this and, and make it happen. So. Yeah, yeah, maybe a better idea in concept than an execution, but so. And it's only a few weeks away.

[Crystal]

Line them up and be like, here is. Is your Iceman fork. I don't know, like give them eat something safe to just take five minutes and chip.

[Kifuri]

It's not a fork.

[Crystal]

Something not super dangerous like, but you know, like maybe it was a little bit more contained, moderated, directed. Then it wouldn't have gotten shut down so quickly. But either way somebody found a goddamn bag with money and magazines in it. So congratulations.

[Kifuri]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

Are you looking forward to hearing it? Do you have any predictions?

[Kifuri]

No, no. You know, I always try with Drake. It's just that he usually loses lately since Scorpion, he has lost me within the first track or two. So once again I'm going to give it my best, but I'm not. I can't say I'm anticipating it because it's been a while since he's really hooked me with the music. I don't, I mean, I know he put out some songs last year, maybe those will also be on this, but who knows? I mean, get back to rapping. You know, I was, I pulled up like one of my, you know how Apple will do those, you know, your top songs of 20, 23 or whatever playlist. I was listening to one of those other day and nice for what was. Was on it and I was like, you know, if we can just get back to this, I would be fully locked in. Like I. This is the Drake that I like that I fucked with. That was number one on my apple music wrapped or whatever like that. But I don't think it's a great song. I don't think we're getting back to. I don't think we're getting back to the. Girl, I just respect you and love you so much. Girl. Why you won't even give me a toenail worth of attention. Girl, please, like. But that is the Drake that I like. That is the Drake that I wish would come back.

[Crystal]

What do you think might take place? Because I agree.

[Kifuri]

Do I think.

[Crystal]

But then there's Iceman. Like I guess cold. I'm. I'm cold hearted now, I guess.

[Kifuri]

Right? Yeah, this is.

[Crystal]

I Don't see him being positive about, especially not women.

[Kifuri]

And it's going to be all you niggas turned on me,

[Crystal]

for real.

[Kifuri]

Yeah. And so now I don't give a. And I did see a lot of critique of. Like, in this current climate, do you really think calling yourself ICE is the best move? Like, why would you even want to refer to yourself as these people who are going around snatching people up and separating them from their kids? Like, which is valid. But if you're damn if your heart and soul are cold as ice or whatever, then I guess you don't really care no more, so. But I will give it a fair shot.

[Crystal]

I didn't even think of the ice part of it.

[Kifuri]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

I will also give it a chance. I completely agree that his last maybe, like, two or three albums. I mean, like, at least the last two, I gave a honest try. And I was like, I'm not really with this hooliganesque lyricism and tone.

[Kifuri]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

And now that I'm sure he feels like. And now that we know he feels like everybody hurt his feelings, I just anticipate that he's gonna have a lot to say about a lot of people. I believe a lot of it will be shady. I don't know. He's gonna say too many names. I feel like he probably will say Savannah's.

[Kifuri]

Oh, yeah.

[Crystal]

Because Bronnie, just because he's that type of nigga, I am curious, as if he's going to, like, if he's going to do any Kendrick shade. I just feel like that would be so unwise, but not impressive.

[Kifuri]

Have you. Have you not had enough? That would be my question. Like, has it not been enough, though?

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kifuri]

After that whole year of that nigga beating your ass on the charts and in the court of public opinion and in the actual courts, like, have you just not had enough? I would leave that man alone. Literally go after the niggas who you feel like turned on you after the Kendrick thing. But that little nigga has shown you that he can easily handle you. Please just leave him alone. Please.

[Crystal]

Not like us Came on my little shuffle sometime this past week, and I was again, like, he dog walked. No pilot's idea. He just wrangled this man on a bop. And this was not even the most venomous one. What else is there to say on that one? I do feel like he'll probably address, you know, everyone calling him a pedophile, him and his friends, and probably the lawsuit critique.

[Kifuri]

Oh, yeah. Well, okay. Good luck.

[Crystal]

I mean, what is there to say, right?

[Kifuri]

I mean, stop going after teenage girls, I guess. Like, I would love to just see you date grown women publicly. That would be amazing. That would go a long way to getting rid of those pedophile rumors.

[Crystal]

Damn.

[Kifuri]

Would help a lot.

[Crystal]

Well, yeah, Drake, I will check this thing out on May 15th. That is, if I stop listening to Zara Larson's new album that comes out on May 1st. We'll have two weeks at least, so maybe by then I'll be taking a break from that. Also is got is comes out on May 15, so I might not even be listening to this until May 18th.

[Kifuri]

Yeah, yeah, that's true. I might not have the time. And delulu Hive thinks Beyonce is putting an album out around the Met Gala.

[Crystal]

So DeLulu hive, yes.

[Kifuri]

They have really no reason for this, but they've decided that it's happening, and they are whipping themselves up into a frenzy about it. And every time I see a TikTok about it, I'm just like, multiple people think that, oh, the Lulu Hive is real. And they say, okay, I'm the Lulu Hive. Yes, but. But I looked at the time that she posted this clip, and you remember how at Smoke Hour, it starts with, come on, baby, it's time to rock. And so that means because she posted it at 9:04am that means the rock album and the Met Galaxy. She finna do. So this is what delulu Hive is doing, and I'm letting them have it. But that Creole woman, I just don't. I don't have the energy for that. Whenever she puts it out, that's when I'm gonna obviously dedicate my life to it. But I'm not finna. I just cannot play these games with y'. All. I absolutely have to let y' all have it. I'm not doing all that with her.

[Crystal]

I was gonna ask what the reasoning behind this. This prediction could be, but it sounds like nonsense.

[Kifuri]

Oh, they come up with all kind of stuff, but I don't. I mean, I don't know. Watch if they. If they're actually right, they'll never shut up.

[Crystal]

So true.

[Kifuri]

But, yeah, but I feel like her

[Crystal]

clues don't even be that deep. It's like, oh, here I am smelling a lemon. Lemonade. It's not like, here I am smelling a lemon at 3:45pm because track 3 of the next album was track 4 of the last album, and the fifth album will be the third.

[Kifuri]

Yeah, the thing is, you can find a hint in any. Anything if you really, really want to. And that's the game I'm not going to play. That's the game I'm not going to play. She it. Have y' all considered that she might see your tik toks and if you are right, she'll just completely scrap it because. How dare you.

[Crystal]

I was just thinking that, too. Like, Beyonce ain't the change. Didn't mind. Changed her mind to ass. Like, Beyonce will fully be like, actually, nah.

[Kifuri]

Yeah, yeah.

[Crystal]

Music videos for Renaissance. Nah, I don't feel like it.

[Kifuri]

I did tease it, but I tease a lot of things. Eunice whipped it already.

[Crystal]

I want to.

[Kifuri]

Oh, you want that Renaissance movie on streaming? Oh, you want to buy it on DVD and Blu Ray?

[Crystal]

Because let me tell you, you're never gonna get it.

[Kifuri]

Yeah, I had a dream once. I had a dream, I was at her house and I said, we was just sitting around talking, doing each other's hair, and I said, girl, the people really want the Renaissance movie on streaming. And she said, I know, and started cracking up. And I said, you are such a bitch.

[Crystal]

That's a fantastic drink. You also saw her in a washing machine.

[Kifuri]

Yeah, but that was. I was on shrooms. She was in the dryer.

[Crystal]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kifuri]

She said, you found me.

[Crystal]

I tried shrooms since then, and she hasn't popped up anywhere, so I'm still working on that.

[Kifuri]

Oh, yeah, well, you know, you keep praying on it.

[Crystal]

This is just link going into the other room, girl.

[Kifuri]

Here you go.

[Crystal]

Whenever that wraps up, I guess we'll talk. But what I'm not about to do.

[Kifuri]

Bitch. Ah, that's so real.

[Crystal]

She's snoring now. She snores. It's so cute.

[Kifuri]

What?

[Crystal]

I don't know. I guess it's her getting older, but she. And I'm talking about sometimes it's like, little cute, like, little snores, and I'm just like. And then it'll be nights like last night, where I'm like, ma', am, did you work all day? Were you in, like, an Amazon on warehouse somewhere? Like, you are snoring like hard labor.

[Kifuri]

Not her having sleep apnea.

[Crystal]

It's the cutest thing in the world.

[Kifuri]

Oh, I love that. Yeah.

[Crystal]

That's gonna be it for our hot tops this week, folks. Hope that you gleam something from this. Perhaps not to promote jeans and. And racism at the same time. You might get cut for a movie. Maybe don't go to McDonald's by yourself in South California. Maybe if you hear a song that. That you once danced to, don't feel like it's your moment in A public place where don't nobody give a fuck about that. And also perhaps do not make eye sculptures in the middle of your hometown and then tell a whole bunch of 18 year olds to go out there with flamethrowers to find a magazine inside.

[Kifuri]

Amen.

[Crystal]

We're going to take a break and then we'll come back with your letters. Howdy folks. This podcast is being brought to you by Squarespace. My favorite space is with Squarespace. Everything you need to succeed online is in one spot. I still have quite a few friends who hit me up who are like, I'm starting this thing, I have this idea, I need a website or I don't know how to build a website. I promise you, every single time I direct them to Squarespace because it's so, so easy to make a good looking website that pretty much can showcase anything that you have to offer. Also, you can claim your domain to build a beautiful website so you don't have to worry about getting your.com or.net or TV. You can promote your work directly from there. You can take payments. It's all there. Whether you're just starting out or you're getting ready to grow. Evolve from a blossom into whatever blossom evolves into. I don't remember. Easily create a standout site or designer templates with drag and drop editing and flexible design options. No experience needed. It's so easy, I can't stress it enough. They also let you offer services, book clients, get paid all in one place with scheduling invoices and email tools built in. I use Squarespace for my website, kifuri.com if you want to go there right now, you can see how sexy it is to get a good idea of what they have to offer you here. It's really, really easy. It's always easy to update and I like that it can look all pretty and unique while also being incredibly easy to manage. So if you're Interested, go to squarespace.com theread for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code theread1word to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Go get started. You know you want to let them know that we sent you.

[Kifuri]

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[Crystal]

Okay folks, we are back and it is time to get into your business.

[Kifuri]

It is indeed. If you have a question for us, send it to askthereadmail.com we may read it aloud on. We have a couple of updates. If you'll remember. Kelly wrote us because her mama wanted tickets to Chris Brown and to the Bumps and Bruises tour. And Kelly was like, girl, fuck no, I'm not spending my money on that. So she wrote us back and said thank you so much for reading my letter. Y' all took the words right out of my mouth. My mom did tell me that she's planning on going to the Houston show of the concert with her friends, so she figured all that ticket miss out. I'm glad she's going to so that I won't have to hear her talk about it to me anymore. My brother ended up buying her a nice Brahmin bag and said it was from the both of us. So shout out to him. We both got a good chuckle out of this entire situation because of the sheer audacity of this woman. Thanks for the advice and the laughs as always. And fuck Chris Brown once more just for good measure. Thanks again, Kelly girl.

[Crystal]

Well Kelly, I'm glad it all worked out without you having to do a fuck day.

[Kifuri]

Cause yo Baba had you fucked up. We also, we have an update from Laneo. If you remember, Laneo wrote us a month or so back about an airtag that was placed in his car that he found and was like, this person is stalking me. What the hell? So Lano said, I wanna say thank you. I appreciate the advice. I've spent some time sitting with everything and figuring out how to move forward. Unfortunately, things have escalated. A couple days ago I was at home playing with my dog and I tossed a treat across the room. It rolled under my couch and when I reached under to grab it, I pulled out a hidden voice recording device that was turned on and actively recording. Mind you, this person has not been in my home or in contact with me since before I wrote the original letter. Finding this device inside my home completely changed everything for me. There is no telling how long it's been there and I no longer feel safe in my home. I went straight to the police and filed a supplemental report, this time providing the individual's personal information. I'm also in the process of obtaining a protective order. I didn't want to take things this far at first, but now I feel like my safety is at risk in a Fatal Attraction type situation. If you have any additional advice on what else I should be doing on how or how to better protect myself, I would really appreciate it. Thanks Laneo.

[Crystal]

What the fuck?

[Kifuri]

You see how you just never know with these people? You just never know with people.

[Crystal]

That is terrifying.

[Kifuri]

Yeah. I think with this additional information, the police reports and the protective order, you should be able to take this to your apartment management or leasing company or whatever and get out of your lease. And then I would move and just, you know, keep the number of people who know where I live to a minimum. Anything with public records, I would get a PO Box and change the mailing address to the PO Box so that. That people can't easily find your mailing address. And, you know, I don't know if you live in a home. I don't remember if there are kids who are. Or, you know, other people who may have access to your things regularly, but this is the kind of situation where people get weapons for their own protection, and I fully understand that. Cause, nigga, if you come in here, it's gonna be me or you, and it's not gonna be me, so it

[Crystal]

won't be me, babe.

[Kifuri]

So. But I think that's really. You've done the things legally that I would recommend, hopefully with. With all this documentation, though, I think your apartment, your complex, or whomever should let you out of your lease, because I would simply not feel safe there anymore either. I completely understand that.

[Crystal]

Yeah. I mean, I didn't even think about that, but I. I feel like they should.

[Kifuri]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

Let you break the lease if you are actively in danger, I think. I just cannot imagine how I would feel if I'm playing with Link and her tennis ball that. Oh, my God, smells like her breath and is soaking wet and she's just still like, yeah, that's my saliva and my mouth.

[Kifuri]

I love it.

[Crystal]

Throw the fucking ball.

[Kifuri]

I literally love it.

[Crystal]

And then under the couch is a recording device.

[Kifuri]

Oh, my God, no. I would lose it. I would. I would feel so unsafe. It ain't enough locks in the world. That would make me feel comfortable in that house no more.

[Crystal]

That's what I'm saying. Like, moving is, like, top two, top three stressors.

[Kifuri]

Oh, it sucks.

[Crystal]

It sucks. It is so fucking annoying. But this is a reason to move, bitch.

[Kifuri]

It is.

[Crystal]

Even the PO Box thing is, you know, inconvenient. But if this about your life and your safety and. And the same for the people around you, yeah, I. I suggest the exact same thing. I'm sorry. It is an awful, awful thing to be dealing with. But, yeah, I agree. It can't be you.

[Kifuri]

Yes. I'm sorry. I really pray that you're able to stay safe. And it's just a shame that there are people out there in the world who act like this, like, you know, so strange you could just accept the fact that whatever we had is over and move on with your fucking life. I don't know what's wrong with you, but, like, try being just, like, a little normal.

[Crystal]

There are billions of other People on this planet that you can go and like.

[Kifuri]

Billions. Billions, Billions. So sorry about that. I. I do pray you're able to stay safe. Good luck to you, babe. All right. Our first letter this week comes from Lee, who says, several months ago, a guy who works in my industry asked me out and we briefly dated. It was the best relationship I've ever been in. He was always communicative and emotionally available and mature. We could talk about anything for hours and would only stop because we had other things to do. After three weeks, he broke things off. He said that he thought everything was going well between us, but he realized there were things he needed to work on in his life and he couldn't commit to a long term relationship. He knew that I wanted something serious, so he thought it was best that he end things sooner rather than later. I was devastated, but we agreed that we wanted to remain friends after some time apart, to heal.

[Crystal]

Oh, shit.

[Kifuri]

A couple of months ago, we reconnected. We still talk for hours, see each other at least once a week, go to industry events together, and we have a running list of things to do with one another. It feels exactly like we're dating again, except it's 100% platonic though. It's 100% platonic. There's no romance, no sex, no hints of flirting, and no talk of getting back together from either of us. This has left me confused. It's not that I want to get back together with him, although I would be open to it. I think I always assumed the depth of friendship and relational intimacy I'm experiencing with him would be reserved for a romantic partner. No one knows us or gets along as well as we do with each other. And none of my other friendships look like this. Is this what being good friends with someone is? Is it possible to have this level of intimacy and chemistry and it remain platonic? What do you all make of this situation? Thanks for your thoughts, Leigh.

[Crystal]

Lee. I mean, a lot of that sounds like aspects of a good friendship and all these other things, just. Just not when it's with somebody that you were dating and had real, real feelings with or for and then, you know, promptly had that person break things off with you because of their inability to commit or whatever. The thing was, you don't then just, you know, keep hanging out and going to the museum and Panera Bread and all this other stuff because you're still dating. So the reason it probably doesn't feel like any of your other friendships is because you're not friends.

[Kifuri]

Oh, well. Well, yikes.

[Crystal]

I Mean, that'll do it. You just like each other and you're still hanging out.

[Kifuri]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

So maybe don't do that. Just a thought. I mean, if you're having a good time and you're not uncomfortable, then sure. But you're like, oh, I don't want to get back together with him at all. But if he wanted to, you know, I might be open to it. Okay, you do, you do, you do. And that's fine.

[Kifuri]

So I think either this person is like, okay, enough time has passed where we can still be friends, but I'm not in a place yet where we can date, or this person doesn't feel about you the way you feel about him, and it really might be that latter. I'm sorry. It really might. But the fact that he's not trying to lead you on to me is a big sign that he doesn't feel that way. He's not in that space, you know, whatever else. So it is possible that this is just what being good friends with him feels like for you, because the two of you really click in this unique way. But I don't think you really want things to remain platonic. And the more that y' all chat all day and, you know, go on, run clubs or whatever, to all the shit that y' all are doing together, the more your feelings are gonna become harder to separate from each other, the more confusing it's gonna be for you if he starts dating somebody else. God forbid, you.

[Crystal]

You fuck.

[Kifuri]

That's when you're really gonna realize that, like, your feelings for him are not platonic. You even said it was the best relationship you've ever had, but y' all were only together for three weeks.

[Crystal]

Right?

[Kifuri]

Well, so, I mean. And that's Pos. That's very possible that it was still the. Because you two really click on this level. Like, I think he. He probably missed you too. Like, he missed your companionship, he missed your friendship. But I just don't. Yeah, it's possible for all of this to happen, and it remained platonic, but I think that's only if it started out platonic. It did not.

[Crystal]

Right. Right.

[Kifuri]

It did not. So I think it's probably gonna be in your best interest to really sit with yourself and ask, do I have feelings for this man? If he texted me tomorrow and said, hey, I think I'm done working through my shit. Do you wanna be my girlfriend? Or. I don't even know what your gender is, Lee, but do you want to be with me? You need to ask yourself, like, would I really be down for that. And I think the answer is yes. And because it is and he has not. He was down with, like, y' all reconnecting, but hasn't even hinted at anything romantic. I think it's going to be in your best interest to maybe withdraw a bit from the intensity of this connection that you have.

[Crystal]

Wholeheartedly agree. I don't believe in the whole, oh, we had this great relationship and so into it and head over heels and all this other stuff, and then it ends. You're like, oh, yeah, let's keep going out and hanging out and we can be friends. It is almost never the case that both. Both parties feel like on the same page about that. So I always suggest distance from that person for as long as it takes. And, yeah, like Crystal said, this doesn't sound like something that doesn't sound like a situation that would prevent you from getting back with this guy if he said, let's get back together. But then what would. What is there to. What would stop him from also, you know, later being like, okay, I don't want to be with you because of such and such or what have you. You know what I mean? Like, if it just was this, like, spontaneous thing that you didn't expect and you broke up, like, what is the foundation of that really look like? Especially if you guys have been dating for three weeks, right?

[Kifuri]

So

[Crystal]

hopefully. Hopefully you have other friends and you can, you know, rest your spirit on that and start dating again. Because, yeah, when he does bring a new piece around, you go see who. Who really friends.

[Kifuri]

Yeah. Yeah. That's how you know whether you're over somebody you've had a romantic connection with, being around them when they are actively in love with somebody else or pursuing courting someone else.

[Crystal]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Kifuri]

I. I have one friend, a genuine friend that I used to have a romantic relationship with, and that was 15, 16 years ago. So we have. We are way past it, and it took a lot longer than a few months for us to get to that place, too. That took a couple years, actually. So. Sorry, Lee, but good luck to you.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kifuri]

Yeah. It's hard when you feel like you really vibe with somebody and it just doesn't work out for whatever reason, but plenty of fish in the sea, babe.

[Crystal]

Right? You're. Somebody's out there.

[Kifuri]

You are. Or they are. All right, our next letter comes from Savannah, who says, I'm the youngest of five siblings and the only child born to both of my parents. Together, my siblings are 15 to 26 years older than me. So I basically grew up as an only child. My dad never fostered relationships between us before he passed away when I was 22 and I have spent my entire life wanting us to just be a normal family. Recently, I hit a major life milestone and four out of four of my siblings that I invited showed up for one beautiful moment. We were live laugh loving in the same space and I thought this is it. This is the family I always wanted. That lasted less than 24 hours.

[Crystal]

Damn.

[Kifuri]

The next evening my oldest sister, with whom I had only just started building a relationship, decided that that was the perfect moment to drop a bomb. I wasn't exactly sober, so I didn't fully catch it in real time, but once I sobered up and replayed the conversation, I realized that she alleged that my mother and our father had an affair and that my parents are the reason that her parents marriage ended. She also suggested that our father intentionally kept us apart and fed me negative things about her to protect that secret. And she hinted that cousins I've never met on my dad's side consider her and her brother to be the original family and aren't really interested in having a relationship with me or my brother because of how we came into the picture. She attempted to reframe my entire existence as a family secret. Fast forward a little while and this same sister recently posted photos on social media from her trip to the plantation where our ancestors were enslaved and she went with these cousins. This was a trip that I specifically told her I wanted to take as a family, but she went without me and without any of our other siblings. She never even mentioned that she was going on the trip and I was hurt by that. I shared all this with my mom and my sister on my mom's side who called her a liar, evil, and told me to cut her off entirely. Now, I do love my sister on my mom's side, but this is also the same person who is always broke, has broken my trust on multiple occasions, and once had a physical altercation in my home. So I'm not exactly running to take her advice on family relationships. Well, here's what I actually want to know is what my oldest sister said and did serious enough to blow up a relationship we only just started building? And the bigger question why is it so hard for me to have any real semblance of family with any of my siblings? Should I just give up? Am I the problem? All I did was be born. I feel like I didn't ask for this. Love you both. Savannah.

[Crystal]

Oh Savannah. Yikes.

[Kifuri]

Yeah, it's a lot.

[Crystal]

I don't think it would be blowing up anything. Like, I don't think you need to to blow things up. It sounds like your oldest sister is attempting to blow things up and it sounds like she's pretty solo on that front.

[Kifuri]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

Cause like these cousins that she mentioned that she took this trip with, like you might assume anxiety even might make you assume, like, yeah, they on the same page, that she took them with them because they all can't stand me or whatever and them cousins could not know what the fuck you talking about.

[Kifuri]

It's true. That's definitely possible.

[Crystal]

Um, but either way, even if the things that she saying has some truth to it, she ain't got no business saying that shit to you. You don't have anything to with a fuck thing that she just brought up.

[Kifuri]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

So I would say, especially being so much older than you, girl, build a bridge. I would just say, you know, protect yourself and surround yourself with a family that does appreciate, you know, who you are, know your worth, and let that oldest sister continue to deflect. Um, and if you can't say directly to her that she needs some healing, that ain't got nothing to do with you, you can pray that she'll find it or somebody else will say it, say there we go. Because she obviously has a lot of hurt that has to do with her fucking daddy and nothing to do with you.

[Kifuri]

Right?

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kifuri]

And honestly the hurt that she feels is understandable. If your dad did have an affair with your mom and that's why her parents marriage ended, it makes complete sense that she would still be feeling a way about that. What is unfair is taking that out on you because you are just the innocent child in that situation. You did not ask these niggas to be involved in that way. Like you didn't ask to be that. So I agree with what Keith Heuri said. I would say it's hard for you to have any semblance of family with these people because your daddy spent 30 plus years having kids with multiple women and didn't bother to make sure that those kids knew each other or felt like a family. That is completely on him. And he's gone now. So it's not like there's anything anybody can do about that.

[Crystal]

But yeah, love to die too, don't they?

[Kifuri]

Don't they love to just fuck shit up and then die?

[Crystal]

And then die, girl?

[Kifuri]

Yeah. So you know, this woman is 26 years older than you. It's very immature of her to be like, well, just so you know, the cousins, you don't know. Don't even consider you real family because of how your whole ass mama came. Like, okay, okay. Why are you saying this to me? I'm trying to have a relationship with you. You're my sister. I'm trying to do what our daddy didn't do.

[Crystal]

You.

[Kifuri]

You being in your feelings about how your parents marriage ended is valid, but I am just the baby who was born as a result of that. Like, there's no reason to take that out on me. Take that out on that nigga. Go to the grave and let it all out. Like, why you didn't say it when he was alive? You had way more time with it than I did. Go cuss him out. Work.

[Crystal]

Take a trip down to that man's burial site.

[Kifuri]

Yeah. And let it out. Cuss.

[Crystal]

Open your composition book and let it out.

[Kifuri]

The fuck you talking to me for? Right?

[Crystal]

Furthermore, when I was born, you could rent a car. Why are you like.

[Kifuri]

Literally, you were so grown when I was born.

[Crystal]

That's so unfortunate. But she's curt. She's clearly hurt.

[Kifuri]

Right?

[Crystal]

But I ain't. It's not your fault, but at this

[Kifuri]

point, your sister's in her 50s or 60s. It's really time to stop taking this out on you. It's time to stop taking it out on you. And if. I'm not saying you necessarily need to blow things up with her, but it also doesn't. It sounds like she's still taking that resentment that she has towards your dad and putting it onto you, and you don't deserve that. So I would be hesitant to volunteer to spend time with somebody if they were gonna treat me like that. So.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kifuri]

But no. Are you the problem? No, girl, your daddy's the problem. Your daddy really sounds like the problem here because you see how you're in touch with your sister on your mom's side and your brother on your mom's side. That's because. Well, first of all, children usually live with their mothers. So whoever grew up in the house with you tends to be there. But also, women tend to do a much better job of making sure that kids from different households know each other and have a relationship with each other. We see that a lot, actually, where women get together because that nigga don't give a shit or he's in jail or he done ran off or whatever.

[Crystal]

And they be like, so true.

[Kifuri]

They be like, okay, I know I have a real attitude because this nigga cheated on me with three different hoes and now my baby got five other siblings. But we Gonna get together and make sure these kids, like, we don't want them to accidentally date or whatever. Like, so we just gonna make sure these kids all know each other because it's the right thing to do. Family, blah, blah, blah.

[Crystal]

So true. So, so true.

[Kifuri]

Yeah, it's not. You're not the problem. I'm sorry that you. This dream of like your big happy family isn't coming to fruition. But that's not because of you. You can't put that on you. Cause you're not the one who had all these kids across decades and didn't make no effort to make sure that they knew each other or gave a fuck about each other.

[Crystal]

Girl, you the youngest one, right? Just popped out at the end, like, here I am. And now this 50 something year old lady. Well, let me tell you something about your ho ass, trifling ass mama. And let me tell you an additional thing about how none of us fuck with you, you worthless bitch. Like, ma', am, like, I thought it was my birthday or whatever. Like, that's so gross.

[Kifuri]

They said, oh, well, you not the original family, so they don't want to have a relationship with you. Why would you say that to me? Do you want to hurt me?

[Crystal]

Why would you say that? Right.

[Kifuri]

Did I ask him to cheat on your mama constantly? I didn't ask daddy to cheat on your mama. I didn't do that. I didn't set that up. It would even make more sense for her to be mad at your mama than to be mad at you.

[Crystal]

Right? Just a little bit more sense.

[Kifuri]

Right. Because the blame is with your daddy.

[Crystal]

Exactly. But coming at you for the fuck.

[Kifuri]

What? No, no, no. So I'm. I'm sorry.

[Crystal]

I think it's also gross that she knows that you are her. That it's important to you that you're passionate about building these relationships with the fam. Like, she know that shit and is trying to throw all of these wrenches in it.

[Kifuri]

Right.

[Crystal]

At least you know, you had all these other family members, including other siblings, go, that hoe is lying. She's being extraed out and like ignore her ass or whatever. But I get it.

[Kifuri]

Yeah. I'm just sorry it didn't work out the way you wanted it to. But this is why people who have families with multiple other people should really make sure that they put in the effort so that those kids know each other and have a close relationship. Because it don't have to be this way. And that was a failure on your father's part. He is the one connection between all five of y', all, right? So good luck.

[Crystal]

We gotta get. We have to get used to placing the blame.

[Kifuri]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Crystal]

Some of us are so conditioned to just immediately attack the woman, even when it don't make no damn sense.

[Kifuri]

Right?

[Crystal]

Like you coming at you for the innocent baby.

[Kifuri]

You could have just not came to my birthday or whatever. You could have just not came if you had that big of an issue. Your graduation or whatever it was that you invited everybody to. If you hated the idea of me that much, you could have just said, I'm not interested in having a relationship with my daddy's other kids. No shade, right? And left it alone. Like she's. She's being. She need to go talk to the lady about these feelings she's had all of her life. About how her daddy is trifling and grimy.

[Crystal]

Exactly.

[Kifuri]

That's not on you, babe.

[Crystal]

Next time she says something slick to me, I would pull out like a business card. I would go to like a reputable place.

[Kifuri]

May I have a card, please?

[Crystal]

No, no, it's not for me. And sometimes she says something. Just pull it out your pocketbook here. I want you to call this number, yeah?

[Kifuri]

Set up a QR code that'll go right to therapy for black girls. It'll be like, yes, just open your camera. Open the camera on your phone real quick.

[Crystal]

Wait, that's way funnier. Especially if she don't know what the cue card code is like. Oh, unless you say something real quick, it takes her to like 200. Oh, my God. Do that. That's way funny.

[Kifuri]

She need to get over that. That's not on you, babe.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kifuri]

All right. Our last letter comes from Mumbo who says, I'm a 34 year old mask who decided to casually engage with a 31 year old woman. When we first started talking, she was seeing multiple people. Over time, those connections fell off and things between us grew. Her decision to openly date seemed to come after her ex ended things with her when. Because she wasn't supporting her through her struggles around Christianity and sexuality. But right now, this woman and I are at odds. Recently, I told her I no longer wish to hear about her ex and whatever they have going on. I set that as a boundary for my own comfort. However, this past week, her ex was in town and stayed with her for the entire week. Go on. The day after the ex left, she called me. I'll admit, being the Leo I am, I had a bit of an attitude. Especially because she kept mentioning the ex and how great things were. Especially when me with every advance I make in courting her, it feels like I'm trying to tie my shoes. I'm trying to tie my shoelaces with my hands cuffed and fingers bound. After I had already asked her to not bring that lady up. I'm trying to figure out if I'm wrong for having this boundary. I don't want to be controlling, but I also want to protect my feelings and not constantly hear about a situation that makes me uncomfortable. At the same time, I recognize that we started dating casually, so I'm trying to balance expectations with reality. Am I wrong or is it reasonable to ask for that level of respect from a casual relationship? I'd really appreciate your thoughts. Thanks, Mumbo.

[Crystal]

Is it controlling to tell a bitch. I don't want to hear about this.

[Kifuri]

Oh, I love lesbians, bro. They're just so cautious.

[Crystal]

Deep, so cautious. Emotional. Yeah.

[Kifuri]

So cautious. Is it controlling?

[Crystal]

I mean, you have to be chat.

[Kifuri]

Is it wrong to be like, I don't wanna hear about that bitch that used to dick you down. Yes or no? No. Oh, Lord.

[Crystal]

Like you saying, that bitch better not be in the zip code. And if so, I'm coming over, playing fabo and going off. I'm playing key Glock. When I pull up to the cr, all you're doing is saying, I don't want to hear about this thing. Which I think is reasonable.

[Kifuri]

Yeah, it is.

[Crystal]

If you're dating someone, right. And you like someone or you agree that you like each other, there's nothing wrong with being like. You're not even going, like, well, I don't understand why you still with this bitch when you date me. You're just saying, I don't want to hear about this.

[Kifuri]

Very fair. It's extremely fair. Mumbo.

[Crystal]

It is lesbian.

[Kifuri]

Yeah. Mumbo.

[Crystal]

Harriet Tubman did not do all of that work for other stunt staff.

[Kifuri]

I'm not doing that.

[Crystal]

Hilarious.

[Kifuri]

I'm not engaging that. Hilarious.

[Crystal]

I'm sorry.

[Kifuri]

Go ahead, Mumbo. Your problem here is that she still wants her ex.

[Crystal]

Yep.

[Kifuri]

It sounds like they would have.

[Crystal]

She has her. Yeah, she has her exact.

[Kifuri]

It sounds like they would have never broken up if they were on the same page about, you know, whatever the issue is with figuring out your religion and your sexuality, which is something most of us go through at some point. It sounds like they would have never broken up if not for that. And the fact that she keeps bringing up the ex even though you've asked her not to, is proof that she is. That the ex is absolutely the priority in her mind. And maybe Everywhere else too. Because, baby, you should not even have to ask her to not bring up her ex. If you are dating other people, why the fuck are you bringing up your ex? Especially when I didn't ask you. Hey, so how'd your last relationship end? If I. If it's right.

[Crystal]

Oh, my God. I was about to say that.

[Kifuri]

Literally, that if I didn't ask. Yeah. How long has it been that you've been single or whatever? Why are you bringing up your fucking ex? Because you want her? Because you or agree or your feelings are still deeply, deeply wrapped up in her. I. I don't want to hear about that bitch. I simply don't. What's wrong with it?

[Crystal]

It's like. So it's like one on one dating.

[Kifuri]

It really is. And this is not even gay dating. This is everybody dating, right? If a dyke actually could not stop talking to her ex about me, I promise you, we not gonna have too many more conversations. Go be with that lady. Go call that lady and get your family back. And she telling his.

[Crystal]

She telling momo how great things are going. Ma', am, are you. Are you dizzy? Are you. Are you in psychosis?

[Kifuri]

She came and visited for a week and we had a great time. Bitch, I'm literally trying to court you.

[Crystal]

Do I look like you're like one of your cousins? Did you FaceTime, Ethan? You talking to somebody else?

[Kifuri]

I think you really like this lady, but I think you gotta move on. She is playing with you. She is wasting her time with other people until she figures out whatever it is with this exact. And it doesn't even necessarily mean that they're gonna get back together, but it does mean she doesn't have the space for you. I really do not think she does. She needs something more casual than what y' all have. So, yeah, I think.

[Crystal]

Sounds like she doesn't even have much respect for you.

[Kifuri]

Right? And I wonder if you didn't call or text her no more, would she even hit you up? Cause like, what do you mean your ex came and stayed with you for a week and then you call me as soon as that bitch leave, talking about what a great time you had with her?

[Crystal]

That is unhinged.

[Kifuri]

I'm blocking you immediately. Are you out of your fucking mind? Right? Oh my.

[Crystal]

What the fuck is that about?

[Kifuri]

Mumbo? You can find somebody else who is not gonna play with your fucking feelings like this right in front of your face. Yeah, you know, we can be a little toxic. We can be girl, though. We can. But you deserve better than this. Yeah.

[Crystal]

How dare A bitch. Be like, oh, yeah, my ex that. You know that I talked about us being separated because of the Lord where she found Jesus. And she's been staying at my place and we are having a blast. Girl, Temptation island just went off and like, girl, so what you doing? That is insane.

[Kifuri]

What you been doing over the past week? Having sex? Because I have, like, okay, it's not.

[Crystal]

I'd be like, so does this ex know about me? Does she know that you're dating? I mean, the bitch might.

[Kifuri]

She probably do. And she don't care because she knows she the number one. You can date whoever you want to, but when I call and say I'm gonna be in town for a week, you cut all them bitches off.

[Crystal]

Now that hoe is controlling contra.

[Kifuri]

Oh, yeah. Let her go, mumbo. You can do better than this, babes.

[Crystal]

That is so insane.

[Kifuri]

Best of luck to you. The girlies have lost it a nerve. Let this be over.

[Crystal]

She got this poor stud over here. Like, am I being controlling? No, you're being a human being.

[Kifuri]

You're being played. Like, oh, baby. For those of you who think same sex relationships are easier, let this be a sign to you that they are not. We are raggedy too. Okay?

[Crystal]

Don't believe that lie. Don't allow anyone to perpetuate them on truth.

[Kifuri]

We are raggedy as well, babe. Good luck to you. That is going to wrap up the letters this week. Again. If you have a question for us, send us an email. Asktheread gmail.com. we're going to take a quick break and then we'll be right back. Hey, y', all, if you're hiring, you want a candidate who's passionate about the role, but you really can't get that insight from a resume. So when I had my last 9 to 5 job, I was actually tasked with the responsibility of hiring my replacement. And it was easy to find people who are qualified on paper. But when I was conducting interviews with some of these candidates, the ones who really jumped out were the ones who were super interested in the role. And they genuinely were. Like, they had questions to ask about my responsibilities and what the day to day was like. They were excited about working for the company, a giant media company that they knew, you know, this was a great opportunity. They seemed like they would be a good fit with the culture and the co workers that I knew they would have to spend the most time with. And so they were just so excited about it. They seemed like they were such a great fit that they jumped out more. So that's this is the sort of thing that you really can't get from the resume by itself, but there is a way to work around it. Okay, post that job on ZipRecruiter. You can try for free at ZipRecruiter.com theread now what will happen is Zoo Recruiter will use their powerful matching technology to find qualified candidates quickly and they have a new feature that shows you the most interested qualified candidates first so you meet the right people faster. Candidates can tell you in their own words why they're interested in your job, which will help you sort through the many people applying for the position and help you find the right person faster. It's no wonder that ZipRecruiter is the number one rated hiring site based on G2. 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[Crystal]

All right folks, we're back and it is time for the ready. Today I want to talk about the vice mayor of Coral Springs, Nancy Mater, who was found dead in her oh my God house and her husband Stephen Bowen was promptly taken into custody for her murder. This is and a remarkable woman who was doing amazing work not too far from where I was born and raised maybe like 45 minutes out in Coral Springs. She was the first black and Asian American female member of the Coral Springs City Commission. I read that she was planning on running to running for Congress next according to a lot of her colleagues and Loved ones. But that was all taken away from her because a black man in her life and her household that was meant to follow vows of protecting each other and loving each other, decided to kill her with a shotgun and wrap her up and evidence up and try to tamper with evidence and leave her lifeless body in the second four bedroom of their home. This is obviously not just tragic. It's. It's disgusting. It's. It's really upsetting. And it kind of digs at me in a particular way because. She. She was doing amazing work in a. A region of the country that I know needs people like her. Like is so incredibly vital to have women like this individual in positions to look after and take care of people. This person was an environmentalist. She. She was doing like incredible, incredible work to predict people in Florida, South Florida and essentially the nation. I just. I have to say, niggas, black women are not disposable. They're not to be dismissed. They are not to be taken for granted. They're not to be used. They are the most valuable human beings on the planet. Like the impact and the change and the revolution that this person had in their hands that was snatched up because of a fuck nigga who just couldn't take whatever. Get your fucking shit together, black man. Get your shit together. Cross whatever bridge it is that you need to cross to recognize or acknowledge who failed you, how you have failed others. Get your shit together. And before, you know, do the whole. Not all black community. I don't give a. What you're talking about. Go talk to the ones that do. Then stop talking to me. Stop talking to women. Go and get your brother. Go get your daddy, go get your son, go get your uncle, Go get your cousins and help them get their together. Demand that they get their together. Because this is ridiculous. It's useless and it's absolutely detrimental to you because they are. The black women are the first in line for you. So now a place very near and dear to me has lost an incredible woman, a great woman doing great work. For what. Because the. Was in his feelings. How does. I don't. What are we doing? What are we doing? The senseless killing of black women is. It's a genuine crisis. And there are so much that we can do. There's. We have the tools to end it. And too many of us are choosing not to. So, yes, I did not know her personally, but I know a lot of people that did that are mourning her now. So that alone speaks to the magnitude and reach and love surrounding Nancy. So Yeah, I don't really have anything else to say besides the fact that I'm incredibly disappointed and tired and heartbroken. So my heart goes out to. To her and Dr. Fairfax.

[Kifuri]

Yeah, I. That is another story in what feels like a long list recently of black women being murdered by their partners. And the Shreveport shooting, did you hear about that?

[Crystal]

No.

[Kifuri]

This man in Shreveport went around. He killed nine people. I believe he shot his. His wife had just filed for divorce. I believe the day before he shot, he killed nine children. Eight of them were his own. One of them, I think, was a cousin of one of the other kids. One of the kids only escaped by jumping off the roof to get away from the house. It was just. It was like, literally the most horrific thing I've heard in a long time. And this is back to back. It feels like it's been every other day where we get the news of men deciding to kill the women in their lives because, like Dr. Fairfax, she had had enough of this man and his bullshit. She had proof that he had been, you know, violent or abusive in different ways, that he had just been ordered to vacate the house that they all lived in. Virginia's laws around marriage and divorce are apparently very weird. And because a lot of people were like, well, you know, as a dentist, why wouldn't you just leave and, like, get an apartment or something? Something about, like, if you abandon the house, if you leave the house and you abandon it and he gets to keep it or something. I don't know. I don't know all the laws. But what I know is that it really should not even matter. Killing women because they don't want you no more, killing the. Killing your own kids so that their mothers will have to grieve is some of the most fucked up, heinous shit I've ever heard in my fucking life. And it's not just about mental health. It's not just about guns. It's not even just about domestic violence. Although, overwhelmingly, it is about that. This is about men, overwhelmingly men reacting in a violent way to no longer having control over women or whatever else, for whatever reasons you do it. You just decide their lives are worthless. He. Justin Fairfax, left that lady killed. Killed that lady, killed himself and left the children to find that. What's more selfish, why don't y' all ever just kill yourselves and leave the rest of us out of it? And there's nothing you can say to women that will protect them. There's no amount of, oh, well, find a man who's educated. Justin Fairfax was absolutely that. Oh, well, find a man who's nice to you. You think most of these women sit up and. And build lives years and years with men who don't. Who aren't kind ever to them? There's nothing we can do. There's no precautions we can take that will 100% keep us from being harmed by one of y'. All. So we need to shift the focus to where it belongs, like we talked about during the listener letters. And let's talk about the real goddamn problem, which is men killing women,

[Crystal]

Period.

[Kifuri]

I just. What else is there to even say? So, yes, rest in peace to Dr. Fairfax. To all of those sweet, precious babies while your mama is fighting for her life. All those kids. I just can't even. I mean, babies I'm talking about. These kids range from, like, 3 to 13 years old. When are y' all gonna stop trying to say, oh, well, pick different men, do this, do this, do this? When are we gonna talk about the fact that we have a very problem with men being violent towards women? Because it's been obvious for decades and decades, and if not centuries, it's been clear.

[Crystal]

I said women should be able to shoot at least one man a year without any repercussion. And it started as a joke, but,

[Kifuri]

yeah, it's starting to feel very real.

[Crystal]

It is ridiculous. That was my reading.

[Kifuri]

Okay, well, I'm glad you brought it up. Cause I was definitely going to also talk about that. So I guess I will move on to you weirdos who want to know how I feel about Cardi B's tour so bad that you decide to Tag me on TikTok and Instagram and one girl on Threads talking about, I wonder what that lady gonna say about Cardi B's tour now that it's over, bitch. First of all, right, right? This is really ridiculous. Because if you actually listen to this show, you would know that we've been talking about this tour. It comes up pretty much every week because there's always something like newsworthy or noteworthy going on with the tour. We have talked about it multiple times since it started. So if you wanna know how I feel about the tour, luckily for you, the episodes don't automatically delete after three days. You can go back and listen, you weird bitch, and see for yourself. But y' all don't actually care how I feel about the tour. You just wanna yap about me. Yeah. You just wanna not like me, which is fine. But I would appreciate it if y' all at least did a crumb of research before you Run your fucking mouths because I've been talking about it. I've been giving that lady her props. Yes, I had doubts about her ability to complete a 35 day tour so recently after giving birth. Most people did, because most people who give birth don't then turn around and go on tour a few months later. So I'm very glad that she did complete the tour, but I was never rooting against her. You weird bitches. I have always been a Cardi B fan. I've always loved her music.

[Crystal]

It's giving like the ice emojis that they put in Kendrick Lamar's Instagram comments.

[Kifuri]

Oh, no. Oh, God. I. So yeah, y'. All. I don't know why y' all are so weird. I cannot believe y' all woke up thinking about me. Thank you. I guess. But y' all being weird about me is not gonna change the fact that I have always liked that lady's music and that's not changing.

[Crystal]

Yeah, so very strange.

[Kifuri]

Get the fuck over it.

[Crystal]

Maybe female rap fandom, a lot of it is just like, okay, black female rapping.

[Kifuri]

Wake up in the morning and get to typing.

[Crystal]

Like, literally get on one of them spaces things to hear what JT talking about and tag somebody else in it until bedtime.

[Kifuri]

Right? Somebody on TikTok was like. Commented on Crystal's couch video and was like, the people want to know where you at now that Cardi's tour is over. And I said, I'm on my podcast where I have been for 13 fucking years. I've been right here every week. If you really want to know how I felt, simply go look it up.

[Crystal]

It was never like, you're Nikki.

[Kifuri]

It's not behind a paywall. It's right there. You can just go, listen, I have. I can't let y' all ride me up. It's just y' all don't even try. And it's like, I wish y' all would try, but on the other hand, I don't because. Because it's so much easier to shut you down when you don't put forth any effort. Y' all are just so bored, girl. Thank you for thinking about me, though. I appreciate having condos in you bitches. Heads.

[Crystal]

Ask. Damn, I really forgot. Ask Bia. Like, ask somebody.

[Kifuri]

Ask somebody.

[Crystal]

Who?

[Kifuri]

Cardi.

[Crystal]

Every night.

[Kifuri]

Every night. And the whole arena is dying laughing, bro.

[Crystal]

Name five B Isan.

[Kifuri]

She just says it and everybody is like, yep.

[Crystal]

Bow, did you see the video of Meg rapping and laughing, talking about.

[Kifuri]

Why would you say this now? That's what would Hurt me. That's what would hurt me. Not Meg laughing. Oh, God, I never get over that.

[Crystal]

But they asking you about the tour.

[Kifuri]

Bitch, that tour wrapped up and I was the first thing on yalls minds. Wow, the power that I fucking have. I love that.

[Crystal]

For me,

[Kifuri]

you bitches are strange. And you know, I was going to do some more complaining about the Trump administration. Did you see this video? This is actually very quick. You remember like last week or two weeks ago when Trump had that doordash grandma at the White house dropping off McDonald's.

[Crystal]

How could I forget? That was so fucking stupid.

[Kifuri]

And he agrees. So he did, I don't know, something, some kind of press conference or whatever shortly after that. And he was talking about how. He was talking about how, you know, this whole no tax on tips thing and how this lady is doing doordash to pay for her husband's cancer treatments. And I'm like, this is actually not a feel good story. This is actually extremely sad that she, this, this grandmother in her 60s has to DoorDash so that her husband can live. Like, what the fuck? Like, this is. This is actually an issue. But yeah, Trump. So Trump is talking about it. He's like, you know, we had this, this lady come up to the White House, very beautiful woman with two big bags full of McDonald's hamburgers. And you know, honestly, it was a little tacky. It was a little tacky, but, you know, you gotta, you gotta do stupid.

[Crystal]

I did not see that.

[Kifuri]

Yes, he was like, it was kind of tacky, but, you know, you do stuff like that and then you win overwhelmingly. The ratings shoot up. So, you know, we had to do it, even though it was a little goofy. I mean, you know, McDonald's at the Oval Office. Prob. Nobody has ever had McDonald's DoorDash in the Oval Office before. It's probably the first time in the.

[Crystal]

That's a good impression because this is just pretty good.

[Kifuri]

He just opens his mouth and lets bullshit fall out. I could not believe.

[Crystal]

Exactly, exactly. He just freestyles fuckery. It's just whatever comes out, girl.

[Kifuri]

I said, y' all actually prop this lady up. You think she asked to be like the bitch to do the. Like, y' all propped this lady up. Y' all selected this woman with her story, didn't she? If this wasn't some staffer going on doordash and legit ordering McDonald's, y' all set it up. And then he sat there afterwards talking about. And she had to pay.

[Crystal]

He called it tacky.

[Kifuri]

No, he straight up said it was kind of tacky. Yeah, it was tacky. But it works. But it works. So you gotta do stuff like that. No,

[Crystal]

he is fucking dementing.

[Kifuri]

He is. It's really something wrong with that, man. Like, bro, your people set it up. What you mean?

[Crystal]

Like, oh my God, this country is so humiliated.

[Kifuri]

You think that lady wouldn't rather be at home knitting something or watching her grandkids or looking at young and arrestless or something? Like, you think she wouldn't rather. You think that 60 something year old woman wants to be driving around doing fucking doordash so that her husband can afford his cancer treatments? And you used her so that you could brag about this? No tax on tips. And this is $11,000 tax free. As if that's some huge amount of money. Trump shits out $11,000 in less than a day. It's not even some huge amount of money, but it's big to regular, everyday people. But you don't actually give a fuck about that. You only cared about how it might make you look politically, which we all knew. But for you to turn around and be on camera, on a hot mic, looking directly at the camera and being like, it was tacky as hell, I admit. I said, oh, this guy, he wasn't

[Crystal]

running for re election. He was talking about McDonald's. And he's. What do you call them, these press rallies or whatever the. He was like, oh, McDonald's fries. And I remember that clearly.

[Kifuri]

He fucking loves McDonald's. And that was another thing being like, oh, you know, it's kind of tacky to have this lady with these two big bags of McDonald's. You love McDonald's and you know you do. Don't sit up here and act like you too good for whatever they selling at McDonald's. Cause you know you love that shit. Y' all took them bags inside and you said, put it in the heater. I will be back.

[Crystal]

That nigga said, this bag is mine. Now you guys figure out whatever you want to do. That other one, this bag is for me and Mia.

[Kifuri]

He said, I know I ordered three double filet o fishes. And they all three of them better be in here when I get back, Scott, or so help me God. Bitch, don't act like you too good for McDonald's. Like you just, you ate that shit up. And you know you did.

[Crystal]

Junior reached over for a Big Mac and he just smacked his hands, smack.

[Kifuri]

They're like, Mr. President, there's eight Big Macs, bitch.

[Crystal]

Why aren't there 16?

[Kifuri]

Don't sit up Here, now. And be like, oh, well, it was kind of tacky, you guys. You fucking love McDonald's and you love exploiting the people to make yourself look good. And then you trying to bring trans people into it. And that lady was like, I'm not even here to talk about trans. I don't even too much know what that is. I'm here to talk about me not paying taxes on these tips, which is another thing. You gotta depend on people actually tipping you, which a lot of them don't fucking do. So then a bunch of people end up door dashing and uber eating and all that for 2$3. Because they don't make shit off of doing that. They really depend on those tips.

[Crystal]

Damn.

[Kifuri]

And here go Trump big dumb ass talking about how tacky it was to have her do that.

[Crystal]

Everything about you is tacky.

[Kifuri]

You would know. You would know the nigga with a all gold bathroom, right? You would know the nigga trying to build a ballroom in the White House would know about tacky. You would. I could not believe I said I know. The people around him are just constantly like, bitch, can you shut. Can you just shut up one fucking time? Like, can we do one thing? Can we execute one plan without you turning around and trying to spill military secrets or sell the nuclear codes or tell people that the photo op that we set up was actually tacky as shit, Girl. Okay, all right.

[Crystal]

Did you. Did you see him? Did you see him yesterday shaking his swollen ankle over Virginia? We can't let them. We can't let this guest pass.

[Kifuri]

And Virginia says.

[Crystal]

Because they're gonna do exactly what we just did. And Virginia, hold this Missy Elliott record and see what we got for you, bitch.

[Kifuri]

Yes. Virginia said, actually shout out to two up, two down. We can play that same game. They said, that's exactly what we finna do. That's exactly. We finna redistrict all this.

[Crystal]

In fact, what the made you think we wouldn't or couldn't? What are y' all bitches smoking?

[Kifuri]

Oh, God, that man is just such a fucking idiot. It blows my mind every single day, the things that he and this administration are allowed to get away with. But I just. I saw that video of him calling that thing tacky, and I'm like, you.

[Crystal]

This was astonishing.

[Kifuri]

It was yalls plan. It was Yalls plan. You. You went. You fully went along with it. Don't act like them bags was empty. Right? Don't act like them bags was empty.

[Crystal]

So

[Kifuri]

he said, I know it's not breakfast.

[Crystal]

Are your voters.

[Kifuri]

I Know, breakfast is probably thought that was lit. Mega probably thought that was fire. Make sure they throw some McGriddles in there. I know it's after 10:30, but tell them pull them out the freezer. Daddy Want a McGriddle? I know you did, you big, selfish, greedy bitch.

[Crystal]

Maybe it's cause, you know, like, they'll walk out of the Met Gala or some shit like that. And there's an in N out truck.

[Kifuri]

Oh, yeah.

[Crystal]

And everybody goes up. So maybe it's just like it because it was McDonald's instead of five guys or whatever. But, bitch, you run a McDonald's and so do all your voters. They order them shits in little drones named Melanie.

[Kifuri]

Like, we don't have to act like this. McDonald's is like the number one fast food spot in the country for a reason.

[Crystal]

In the world, right?

[Kifuri]

Probably the world. A lot of people eat it. You don't have to act like you are just so much better or above this stunt. But everybody else told you to do it, bitch. You love McDonald's. Them sports teams be winning. Them kids be winning national championships. And Trump, invite them to a McDonald's buffet at the White House. Fucking Quarter Pounders with cheese and fries and nuggies.

[Crystal]

Talking about this ice cream machine does work. I hate him. I hate him so much real bad. I wish he would just fall down

[Kifuri]

and just never get back up. Lord, just let him close them eyes.

[Crystal]

It would just be one good trip. Yeah, one good fall, I feel like, is all it would take.

[Kifuri]

I know there's a brain bleed just waiting to hit you.

[Crystal]

What is taking so long?

[Kifuri]

All that McDonald's. You eat something, gotta clog something up. Come on, y'. All, Come on. We gotta work together. Teamwork. Make it work.

[Crystal]

Evil never dies.

[Kifuri]

Oh. So, yeah, that's. I think that's it for me. This week has been a. Oh, oh, okay.

[Crystal]

Leave Kev on stage alone. Imagine. Oh, my God, Calling yourself a child of Christ.

[Kifuri]

I completely forgot.

[Crystal]

And then wanting to battle a man who says, you know, I just. I try to do what I believe Christ would do and call me to do.

[Kifuri]

I saw my son be born, and I thought, I could never kick this person out of my home or my life for being gay. And y' all were like, how dare you, Baby? The super cyan Christians are out of their minds and they are really pissed.

[Crystal]

He's fine.

[Kifuri]

He's fine.

[Crystal]

He don't give a fuck.

[Kifuri]

Well, I think he's probably quite over, you know, trending, which I understand, but you're trending because homophobes are mad at you. Gone. And let it rock. Kev onstage. Gone. I like the onstages. I like his content. I've said before that Kev on stage is probably the only influencer that me and my family both follow. Like.

[Crystal]

Right? That's very true.

[Kifuri]

He's that bridge between all of us. And there's nothing wrong. Like, they are just absolutely disgusted at the idea that you might lead with love as a Christian, as Christ told you to do.

[Crystal]

It's remarkable. Like, and you're right. Cause I saw Glaad posted a quote from him on her Instagram.

[Kifuri]

Oh my God.

[Crystal]

Glaad absolutely posted him on their Instagram.

[Kifuri]

Oh Lord. With a quote.

[Crystal]

And his quote ended with, you can't whoop me. So same page. We see each other ev.

[Kifuri]

Oh, this is. You know, this place is very ridiculous. You kind of got a laugh to keep from crying or having a complete mental breakdown. Cuz the way some of you are so fundamentally stupid, ignorant, hateful, and want to remain that way is really disheartening

[Crystal]

and want to remain that way.

[Kifuri]

Dedicated to it, actually, so.

[Crystal]

And it's free. It doesn't pay.

[Kifuri]

It doesn't. It does not.

[Crystal]

Damn p are white. Cuz then you're just Charlie K. All right,

[Kifuri]

all right.

[Crystal]

See what.

[Kifuri]

Yeah, yeah, we do. We do. Imagine being mad at a man for saying he loves his kids unconditionally.

[Crystal]

Like, are you dumb?

[Kifuri]

They are real dumb, actually. Oh, okay. That is gonna wrap up this week's episode of the Read. Follow us on social media at this is the Read. There are a few tickets remaining for our live show in Atlanta this Sunday. You can find [e-mail] we cannot wait to y' all at the show. We're gonna have big fun. Big, big fun. Thank you.

[Crystal]

With the wretched.

[Kifuri]

Thank you so much to the one and only Dr. Roxane Gay for being on this week's episode of Chrysalis Couch. We had an incredible conversation. Check that out. Chrysalis Couch on all of your favorite podcasts. She really is. We had a ball. She was so. She was so nice. I just was. I. I was. I have not been starstruck or like nervous for an interview in a long time, but that one.

[Crystal]

But she been loved you.

[Kifuri]

Well, I. I can't accept that. So. So actually my brain is just gonna go right ahead and reject that. But we had an amazing conversation. So check that out. Chrysalis Couch, wherever you get your favorite shows. Any other announcements from you this week?

[Crystal]

Yes. Furious Thoughts Podcast is out this week, we have Thought Squad, the one and only magnificent artist extraordinaire. We had a really good time. We cut the fuck up. So you can go catch that on YouTube.com kidfurytv all your podcast platforms and things of that nature. Go give me a like, go give me a subscribe so on and so forth.

[Kifuri]

All right, y' all take care of yourselves. We will see you next week. Hey, y'. All. Crystal and Kifiri here. Thank you for tuning in to the read each week. If you want to hear new episodes ad free, subscribe to SiriusXM Podcast plus on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm.com podcastplus to listen with Spotify or another app of your choice.