The Read – "How A Southern Belle Jumps The Broom"

Date: January 8, 2026
Hosts: Kid Fury & Crissle
Duration: ~2 hours 20 minutes

EPISODE OVERVIEW

Kid Fury and Crissle return in 2026 with their signature blend of shade, therapy, and pop culture analysis. This week's episode—"How A Southern Belle Jumps the Broom"—features their hilarious, incisive takes on celebrity mess, lawsuits, problematic stars, and the endless drama of hip-hop and R&B’s brightest (and least wise). In classic fashion, both hosts use the episode to reflect, roast, empathize, and counsel—sometimes all in the same breath.

MAJOR TOPICS & DISCUSSION POINTS

1. Hot Takes: New Year, Same Attitude

• [01:09] Crissle: "I'm the 2026 girl. I'm the New Year girly. I'm Vette girl! Girl that you're gonna wish you did not cross in 2025 because she's upright and she's bloodthirsty."
• Opening with playful banter about the turn of the year, adjusting to life in New York winters (vs. nicer weather elsewhere), and a general reminiscence about being “right” about the past year.

2. Happy Birthday, Blue Ivy

• [04:25] Both hosts shout out Blue Ivy’s 14th birthday, warmly recalling her earliest public moments and reflecting on her already-iconic status as Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s daughter.
• [05:31] Crissle: “One of the highlights of my life was when she looked at me and kept walking. I’ve never been more honored.”
• The hosts note Ms. Tina’s Instagram post, discuss Blue’s Capricorn energy, and how the Hive “clocked her star status early.”

3. Black Excellence: Alex Anning

• [06:31] Shoutout to eight-year-old Alex Anning of Chicago, who organized a food drive for his birthday, feeding 150 families.
• [09:09] Crissle: “What a beautiful child. What a beautiful spirit.”
• Both hosts wax nostalgic about childhood gifts (“a doll whose hair you could perm”) and weigh in on the power of giving back.

4. Hot Tops: Pop Culture Thermometer

Beyoncé is Officially a Billionaire

• [09:40] Forbes reportedly confirms Beyoncé as a billionaire; hosts debate how to feel about “Black billionaires.”
• [10:50] Kid Fury: “It’s impossible to be a billionaire without undercutting someone somewhere at some point. So do with that what you will.”
• [12:49] Crissle: “Don’t bother me about Beyoncé unless she start acting like Nicki Minaj… I gave her the things!”
• Both hosts underline the nuance of supporting Black artists’ success amid broader wealth critiques, and see Beyoncé’s wealth as a complicated but understandable outcome of her work and context.

Nicki Minaj’s MAGA Pivot & Fanbase Fallout

• [13:09] The “Onika Tanya” segment: The hosts drag Nicki for her recent conservative/“MAGA”-ish turn, linking up with figures like Erica Kirk, and pointedly criticizing her dismissal of LGBTQ and Black fans.
• [15:01] Crissle recounts Nicki’s comments ranking her Turning Point USA appearance above any career moment, arguing, "She explicitly said...it just doesn't mean as much as this moment."
• Both express empathy for fans (the Barbs) who feel betrayed, and analyze Nicki's apparent resentment:
  • [18:10] Kid Fury: “She probably wants more accolades from street niggas or just…heterosexual…As a homophobic, transphobic person, I wouldn’t be surprised if she looks out at the sea of women and faggots and trans women in shit wigs and glitter and rainbow flags, and she’s just like, ‘ugh, can I get just one felon in a tech suit?’”
• Conclude that Minaj has “been trash for a while,” with Crissle urging listeners to recognize the “emotional immaturity” in continuing to support her.

Drake, Gambling Lawsuit, and Streaming Shenanigans

• [24:02] Discussion of the lawsuit alleging Drake promoted illegal gambling via Stake, possibly inflating his Spotify streams and disparaging competitors (like Kendrick).
• [26:08] Steak’s “currency” and the difference between online and casino gambling get explained.
• [29:32] Both relate to the Drake vs. Kendrick beef, musing that “I would not be surprised…if he decided to do something like this and accused Kendrick of doing it.”
• [31:30] Tangent into which Drake albums the hosts still enjoy (mild nostalgia for Scorpion, critique of newer works).

5. More Pop Culture Mess

Tamar Braxton/Mendeecees/Yandy Drama

• [35:41] The latest on Tamar Braxton demanding an apology after new relationship speculations; discussion morphs into a roast of “reality show marriage” fakery.

North West’s Beat-Making Debut

• [39:28] Kanye’s daughter North West produces a beat for Lil Wayne’s son — both hosts are impressed by her initiative, but are “stuck on this child rapping about Molly.”
• On millennial/Millennial-Gen Z generational divide:
  • [44:26] “You need to be rapping about high school and prom... basketball, your favorite athletes…”

Explosive Lawsuits: Donnie McClurkin & Tyler Perry

• [45:27] Donnie McClurkin is sued for alleged grooming and abuse, with a damning apology email surfaced by the accuser.
  • [49:33] Crissle: “If this email is real, then girl, yeah. You are cooked.”
• Segues to critique of the Black church’s handling of LGBTQ identity and cycles of harm.
• [57:32] Tyler Perry is accused of sexual harassment, leading to a roasting of his public persona and the hypocrisy of “church girls” who overlook his (alleged) abuse.

Cardi B, Baby Daddy Discourse, and Mom-Shaming

• [61:22] A detailed read (driven by Crissle) on Cardi B’s ongoing baby daddy drama (re: Stefon Diggs, Offset), and Card’s public defense of the men in her life:
  • [69:46] “You keep reproducing with emotionally immature men who do not prioritize fatherhood in their lives. I don’t know why you do that.”
• Hosts discuss social media backlash, defending Crissle’s “mean” but accurate takes; reinforce the need for therapy and emotional maturity.
  • [76:14] Crissle: “I will stand completely alone. … If everybody grew the fuck up and learned how to manage their feelings…we would be living in a much better world.”

MEMORABLE QUOTES & MOMENTS

• Crissle, [23:34]: “Beyoncé got… features from TS Madison… When Beyoncé turns on the gays, I’ll be the first one to cuss that bitch out. … Oh, I’ma cry. I’m gonna fucking weep.”
• Kid Fury on Nicki Minaj, [20:51]: “You’ve done it willingly and asked is there anything else you need? Just for her to go get up on stage and be like, I hate your gay ass.”
• Crissle, [70:45]: “People don't emotionally mature simply because they grow older. People don't emotionally mature simply because they have children. The children and their well-being was always the point.”
• Crissle, [77:00]: “Most people are emotionally immature. … If everybody grew the fuck up and learned how to manage their feelings and take some space between how they feel and how they react, we would be living in a much better world.”

LISTENER LETTERS (Selected Advice & Discussions)

1. [84:10] Simone’s Wedding Guest Dilemma

• Simone wants to exclude her fiancé’s sister-in-law from their wedding because of her cold, non-engaging behavior.
• Kid Fury, [90:20]: “Who gives a shit? … Build a bridge and get the fuck over it.”
• Crissle and Fury agree: it’s not worth the drama, and sometimes reserved/shy people get unfairly judged by those with Southern expectations of hospitality.

2. [98:35] Jason—the Midwestern Gay Situationship

• Jason’s long-term FWB “ghosts” him after he catches feelings and loans him money—only to discover a new girlfriend is in the picture.
• Kid Fury’s blunt summary: “That was an L from the moment you coughed it up.”
• Crissle: “You duped yourself...this is why we tell you not to continue a sexual relationship with somebody you have feelings for and they don’t feel the same way, because somebody will get hurt.”
• Both hosts: Let it go. Send a Venmo for the money if you must but, emotionally, the lesson is more important than the cash.

READS OF THE WEEK

1. Kid Fury: Harassment of Somali Daycare Workers

• [117:47] Fury rails against a white YouTuber who accused Minnesota Somali daycare centers of fraud, leading to unwarranted investigations:
  • “That white boy should be in jail. … [You] run to go and be like ‘these brown people are out to get the white man,’ meanwhile this fat ass cracker in the goddamn White House is literally taking the food and medicine out of your mouth…”

2. Crissle: Hilton Hotels & ICE

• [126:20] The story of a Minneapolis Hilton affiliate refusing ICE agents—only to be publicly denounced by Hilton as a corporation.
  • “There was a 0% chance Hilton was actually going to let that slide… you will not be able to stand for a corporation.”

3. Bonus: Stranger Things Finale Discourse

• Kid Fury lightly drags the overly critical reactions to the Stranger Things finale, defending the show’s endings, character development for Erica, and reminding listeners: “You get your ass up there and do it well… you can’t even pretend to like your coworkers now.”

OTHER HIGHLIGHTS

• [131:36] Playful back-and-forth regarding taking pet portraits at JCPenney, with plans for airbrushed, posed Valentine's pictures—anchoring the podcast’s balance of deep social analysis and light-hearted, Black, queer joy.
• [135:31] Strong urging for therapy and emotional honesty, especially for those navigating drama and fame: “If you are in therapy, tell the truth.”

STRUCTURAL SUMMARY & TIMESTAMPS

| Timestamp | Segment | Key Points & Tone | |-----------|----------------------|-----------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:57 | Opening Banter | New Year energy, southern vs. NY winters, personal updates | | 04:25 | Happy Birthday Blue | Recollections, BeeHive pride, fan stories | | 06:31 | Black Excellence | Alex Anning’s philanthropy, childhood gift reminiscence | | 09:30 | Hot Tops | Beyoncé’s billionaire status, Nicki Minaj’s right-wing pivot | | 24:02 | Drake Lawsuit | Steak/gambling controversy, beef with Kendrick, streaming fraud | | 35:41 | Tamar/Mendeecees | Ruined relationships, fake marriages in “reality TV” | | 39:28 | North West’s Beat | Kids + rap culture; generational differences | | 45:27 | Lawsuits: Donnie/Tyler| McClurkin & Perry scandals, Black church/LGBTQ issues | | 61:22 | Cardi B’s Mess | Baby daddies, emotional maturity, social media analysis | | 84:10 | Letters | Simone’s wedding, Jason’s FWB woes | | 117:47 | The Read | Somali daycare targeting, corporate hypocrisy (Hilton), etc. | | 131:36 | Joyful Wrap | Pet portraits, friendship, playful personal stories | | 135:31 | Closing Advice | Therapy, emotional growth, Black queer solidarity |

TONE & LANGUAGE

The episode is classic The Read: unfiltered, colloquial, shaded with humor, honesty, and empathy. Both hosts make generous use of Black vernacular, internet slang, and pop culture references, while never losing sight of the deeper issues beneath celebrity mess.

For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This episode is packed with laughs, heartfelt advice, and devastating truth bombs about music industry politics, generational drama, celebrity delusions, and the messy reality of love and relationships. Kid Fury and Crissle shine as culture critics and “on-air therapists,” reminding everyone to think deeper, do better, and, above all, act right—for themselves, and for the kids watching.

Notable closing advice:
“If you are in therapy, tell the truth.” — Kid Fury [135:45]
“Emotionally mature people don’t choose emotionally immature partners.” — Crissle [135:58]

End of summary.