Ms Peaches, Come Get This Rottweiler

Summary

The Read – “Ms Peaches, Come Get This Rottweiler”

Release Date: May 28, 2026
Hosts: Kid Fury & Crissle
Main Theme: Hip-hop/poppin’ culture, messy headlines, and unapologetic Black commentary on the week’s shenanigans.

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Episode Overview

In this week’s episode, Kid Fury and Crissle sift through a chaotic pop culture news cycle full of trademark drama, unfortunate celebrity boxing matches, questionable honorary degrees, iconic Black girl healing, and a steady flow of sarcasm, shade, and hilariously incisive takes. Blending sharp observation with personal anecdotes, the hosts break down the week’s most “trying” stars—with no mercy for anyone's feelings (unless you’re Beyoncé or Blue Ivy).

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Key Discussion Points

1. Black Excellence Spotlight

[02:08]

• Kid Fury honors Connor Lamb, a 16-year-old from Denver, CO, nominated for the Black Student Excellence Award for achievements in aerospace, academics, and leadership.
• Connor: “It makes me feel good because it’s not only just me, but other kids that get this recognition.”
  • Quote: Kid Fury: “Why is beyond your years don’t even… yeah, really cut it. You’re over here… living right. Physics and science at 16.” [03:24]

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2. Hot Tops – The Chaos Edition

a) Meek Mill vs Nike: The ‘Dreams and Nightmares’ Drama

[04:11]

• Nike uses “Dreams and Nightmares” (famously linked to Meek Mill) for a LeBron James sneaker/apparel line.
• Meek Mill upset over lack of communication:
  • Quote: “So Nike just gonna take my whole brand and mash it up with LeBron?”
  • Crissle notes: Meek only recently filed the trademark.
• Discussion on copyright/trademark nuances.
  • Crissle: “It is shocking that ‘Dreams and Nightmares’... has been the cultural phenomenon that it has for as long as it has and somebody is only just now thinking, maybe we should trademark that phrase?” [06:13]
• Kid Fury: “They looked at that open legal pathway tough, like, sucks to be you, bitch.” [09:24]

b) Ray J’s Boxing Debacle

[09:40]

• Ray J hospitalized after getting knocked out by viral meme-rapper Super Hot Fire at an influencer boxing match.
• Hosts joke about physicals, Ray J’s impulsiveness, and the absurdity of YouTuber boxing culture.
  • Crissle: “Ray J, are you not a 45-year-old father of like three? Why would you do this?” [12:04]
• Kid Fury unpacks Super Hot Fire's viral background and notes the comedic generational reach.
• Concern for Ray J’s reckless choices and (presumed) financial motivation.
  • Crissle: “I’m more shocked they allowed him to do it because the nigga just had heart issues. Why would you let him in the ring?” [15:18]

c) Lil Wayne’s Rumored Engagement

[17:41]

• Alleged engagement to a woman in her 20s. Wayne is 43.
• Discussion about his previous engagements and public relationships.
  • Crissle: “This is not the first time he’s been engaged and then didn’t get married, so…” [19:29]
  • Kid Fury: “He loves placing him in the streets.” [19:18]

d) The State of Recent Drake Albums

[22:00] – [27:26]

• Kid Fury’s review: underwhelmed by Drake’s latest releases, particularly "Maid of Honor."
  • Kid Fury: “Really set me up for what I thought was… fun and cute and, you know, girly butch queen Drake. Hated it.” [22:27]
• Extended riff on Drake’s creative choices and the difference in approach to album sequencing/interludes (versus SZA’s “Ctrl”).
  • Crissle: “The art of the interlude has been lost.” [28:32]
• Acknowledgement that the best tracks will organically make their way to TikTok/clubs without them having to listen to whole albums.
  • Kid Fury: “I was able to sit still and listen to about two hours of Drake. I did it for you.” [30:34]

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3. Noteworthy and Ridiculous Headlines

a) Chris Brown’s Honorary “Doctorate”

[34:49]

• Chris Brown received an honorary doctorate from Harvest Christian University (not accredited; essentially a diploma mill).
  • Crissle: “That means honorary degree, meaning you did not actually do any work for this degree…” [37:07]
• Hosts clown the social media celebration (e.g. “Dr. Breezy”), noting the lack of earned merit.
• Discussion about the general confusion and meaningless nature of unearned honorary degrees, especially from spurious institutions.

b) Kevin Hart Defends Roast’s Offensive Jokes

[42:44]

• Kevin Hart, on The Breakfast Club, defends Tony Hinchcliffe’s George Floyd joke during his Netflix roast.
  • Crissle: “This was the roast of Kevin Hart. This was not the roast of George Floyd.” [45:15]
• Both hosts are unimpressed with the false equivalence between personal roasts and casually invoking murdered Black victims for “edgy” humor.
  • Crissle: “Kevin Hart is a grade-A coon. That is a 100% through and through ‘I have made too much money and I don’t give a fuck about niggas no more’ coon.” [45:43]
• Broader conversation on comedy boundaries, the cultural meaning of jokes, and the purposeful use of “offense” in stand-up.
  • Story about Whoopi Goldberg’s infamous “you a bat” joke, and how jokes’ meanings hinge on audience context and intent. [51:05 – 56:00]

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4. Black Girl Healing Iconography: Solange & Megan Thee Stallion

[58:10]

• Social media-busting vacation pics: Solange and Megan living their best lives on the water.
  • Kid Fury: “Houston hotties, Solange and Megan having the time of their life on the open seas… blacking and beautiful.” [58:10]
  • Crissle: “Please. I would literally drive the boat. Just call me next time. I just want to be around.” [58:39]
• Celebrating the image of Black women supporting each other, especially as a counterbalance to heartbreak/public drama:
  • Crissle: “This is exactly the sort of community… time with Black women… and just have fun and be together. I was hoping Meg had genuine people like that in her life.” [61:00]
• Noted: Beyoncé allegedly cosigns Monaleo’s grill + gown steez (never take it out again).

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5. Listener Letters (Advice and Mess)

[67:15] – [90:10]

a) Dog-sitting Woes While Pregnant

• Listener “Troy” (8 months pregnant, house full of people/relatives), refuses to watch her brother’s dying elderly dog. Concerned about familial fallout.
  • Kid Fury: “Even if you weren’t pregnant, you’d be well within your right of being like, no, don’t bring her half dead ass over here.” [73:33]
  • Crissle: “If Lainey was on death’s door, I wouldn’t be going nowhere. Any trip can wait. I’m gonna be with my baby.” [74:25]
• Both hosts validate boundaries and urge: say no guilt-free.

b) “Should I Tell” Relationship Mess

• Listener “Portia” discovers her situationship is the best friend of her former hookup, who is now engaged to his sister.
  • Kid Fury: “If you don’t want to say nothing, you just have to break things off with Dennis and exit this situation entirely… but if you gonna keep seeing Dennis, then you have to tell him.” [88:25]
  • Crissle: “You do. And that’s gonna be so messy…” [88:32]

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6. This Week’s “The Read”

[93:48] – [115:56]

a) Dr. Umar & Amanda Seales Defending Cheyenne Bryant (Honorary PhD Scandal)

• Both hosts drag Dr. Umar & Amanda Seales for defending Cheyenne Bryant, who lied about her credentials.
  • Kid Fury: “If you want to fuck that lady, you could just say that… rather than trying to kick up dust…” [95:21]
  • Crissle: “You not comparing that light-skinned bird bitch from reality TV to a Pulitzer-winning poet who has won like every award that’s possible…” [100:37]
• Amanda Seales likened Cheyenne Bryant’s degree drama to Maya Angelou’s honorary degrees (hosts: “Levels!”).

b) Florida Teacher’s Racist Incident

• White teacher strings up a Black baby doll in class as a ‘punishment’ visual, is rightfully fired.
  • Crissle: “As an adult you probably shouldn’t [do this]… you have to have better control over yourself than that.” [112:28]
• Hosts commend the quick-thinking student who documented the incident.

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Notable Quotes & Segments (w/Timestamps)

• [03:24] Kid Fury (re: Black Excellence): “Why is beyond your years don’t even… yeah really cut it. You’re over here… living right. Physics and science 16.”
• [06:13] Crissle (re: Meek Mill): “It is shocking that ‘Dreams and Nightmares’… has been the cultural phenomenon that it has for as long as it has and somebody is only just now thinking, maybe we should trademark that phrase?”
• [09:24] Kid Fury (Meek Mill/Nike): “They looked at that open legal pathway tough, like, sucks to be you, bitch.”
• [12:04] Crissle (Ray J boxing): “Ray J, are you not a 45-year-old father of like three? Why would you do this?”
• [22:27] Kid Fury (Drake): “Really set me up for what I thought was… fun and cute and, you know, girly butch queen Drake. Hated it.”
• [28:32] Crissle (interludes): “The art of the interlude has been lost.”
• [37:07] Crissle (Chris Brown degree): “That means honorary degree, meaning you did not actually do any work for this degree…”
• [45:43] Crissle (Kevin Hart): “Kevin Hart is a grade-A coon… ‘I have made too much money and I don’t give a fuck about niggas no more’ coon.”
• [58:10] Kid Fury (Solange & Megan): “Houston hotties, Solange and Megan having the time of their life on the open seas… blacking and beautiful.”
• [73:33] Kid Fury (dog drama): “Even if you weren’t pregnant, you’d be well within your right of being like, no, don’t bring her half dead ass over here.”
• [100:37] Crissle (Maya Angelou comparison): “You not comparing that light-skinned bird bitch from reality TV to a Pulitzer-winning poet who has won like every award that’s possible…”
• [112:28] Crissle (Florida teacher): “As an adult you probably shouldn’t [do this]… you have to have better control over yourself than that.”

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Memorable Moments

• Kid Fury’s comedic confusion about Super Hot Fire’s viral legacy and how a meme-rapper could knock out Ray J [13:04–14:50]
• Both hosts clowning “Dr. Breezy” and the social media circus around diploma mill degrees [34:49–38:46]
• Extended riff on Black girl joy, healing, and aesthetics (Solange/Megan/Monaleo) [58:10–63:18]
• Listener letters highlighting: setting family boundaries, Black dog-mom feelings, and navigating messy BFF situationships [67:15–90:10]
• No-nonsense “Reads” on grifters, “pick-me” intellectuals, and performative white woman racism [93:48–115:56]

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Tone & Style

• Sarcastic, delightfully shady, and irreverent—but always rooted in care for Black community, mental health sensibility, and cultural accountability.
• Hosts comfortable giving tough love to listeners, stars, and each other.

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Listen If...

• You love hot takes on pop culture and hip-hop news, laugh-out-loud Black friendship energy, and will always choose shade when available.
• You want a comedic-yet-real reality check on this week’s mess without slogging through clickbait yourself.

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This week’s episode of The Read is the perfect example of how to turn the internet’s chaos into cathartic cackling—and maybe (if you’re lucky) some healing, too.

Transcript

[Kid Fury]

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[Crystal]

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[Kid Fury]

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[Crystal]

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[Kid Fury]

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[Crystal]

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[Kid Fury]

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[Crystal]

Reviews Verbo Book a vacation rental Loved by guests now streaming on Paramount plus is the acclaimed series from executive producer Lena Waithe and the final chapter of the Shy Now y'. All. For the past seven seasons, these stories, this community, these streets have stayed with us. We've grown so attached. But now it all leads to this. As friendships are tested, families evolve, and secrets refuse to stay buried, one thing will remain certain. The Shy is more than just a series. It's a legacy. So don't miss the final season of the Shy now streaming on the Paramount plus premium plan.

[Kid Fury]

Hey Slurs. Welcome back to the function. My name is Billy D. Williams.

[Crystal]

And I'm Maya Angelou and this is the Read. Thank you for joining us.

[Kid Fury]

It is in fact the Read. And thank you for joining us. It is towards the end of May, now officially. Oh God, it's about to be Pride month. As if the world wasn't already on fire.

[Crystal]

It is. I'm ready for pride. I am.

[Kid Fury]

Let's start with this week's Black Excellence. Gonna give this Black Excellence over to a 16 year old named Connor Lamb of Denver, Colorado. He's an applicant for the Black Student Excellence Award, which is, I think, on its third year. And the reason that he is up for this recognition is because he's first of all a volunteer at Wings over the Rockies Air and Space Museum. He is from a very small group of high achieving cadets. He says that he currently has a 4.2 weighted GPA, work 5 AP classes. He earned the rank of cadet second lieutenant, which is an accomplishment only about 13% of cadets achieve. He loves all things air, all things space. He was met in the museum by the state senator James Coleman, who I believe is the one who created this award, this Black Student Excellence Award. So I got to see him with the senator in the museum, riding cool space shit and being incredibly smart. Connor says, it makes me feel good because it's not only just me, but other kids that get this recognition. Having the opportunity for other people to see the work we put in. It's great to see. So shout out to you for being. I mean, why is beyond your years don't even. Yeah, really cut it. You're over here. You know what I'm saying? Living right. Physics and science 16.

[Crystal]

My God, I can't imagine. Congratulations, young person.

[Kid Fury]

Job well done this week in the hot tops. Where to begin? You know what? Why don't we end with something kind of nice this week?

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah, that's a fun way to switch it up.

[Kid Fury]

Meek Mill's pissed at Nike. They have some new brand campaign, new set of products alongside one LeBron James. And the pieces are titled Dreams and Nightmares. There's a Dreams and Nightmares T shirt here that looks like a Torti. In fact. In fact, at first glance, I would assume this was Meek Mill merch. I'm not even.

[Crystal]

Yeah, no, same. I would have to.

[Kid Fury]

And they also have a sneaker here that. Wear this. Okay. Nike Zoom. LeBron 23 Lux. Dreams and nightmares. Needless to say, Meek Mills pissed. He said on Twitter. So Nike just gonna take my whole brand and mash it up with LeBron. What is this? Why wouldn't anybody holler at me about this? I thought the sneaks was fake. What's up with this? Well, Meek and Mild, I agree. I simply agree. Someone brought up the question of whether or not he has trademarked that term. And in bringing it up, they were really saying he probably did.

[Crystal]

You know, he didn't.

[Kid Fury]

Now, I believe in situations like that, you can go and fight it. Like, there are many, I think, courtrooms where they'll be like, okay, like, Nike, girl, please.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

You know what I mean? Depending on what it is and, like, how it's received, people's. Are people gonna look at this and think. This person specifically, I think lawyers in the chat, you can comment, kind of jump in here. But at the same time, he would be going to court with Nike.

[Crystal]

Right?

[Kid Fury]

So.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

I don't even know if it would be worth it.

[Crystal]

Which. Right. First of all, might not be worth it. Secondly, I know that trademarks are also not a lawyer, but I do know that they're specific to industry. So the fact that Nike is selling tennis shoes and T shirts and not music may also have something to do with, like, whether this will hold up in court. I mean, my first thought was Meek Mill, because nigga. But I also see here that he just filed. They only. The record label just filed a trademark for Dreams and Nightmares eight days ago. And so it is shocking that Dreams and Nightmares has been the cultural phenomenon that it has for as long as it has. And somebody is only just now thinking, maybe we should trademark that Phrase like, I don't know what took so long. I'm certain Nike ran a check before they decided to. To put this line out. So, yeah, we'll see what the courts say when you go toe to toe with them attorneys over at Nike, Inc.

[Kid Fury]

But, yeah, you know, the awesome thing about. I'm pretty sure his label is called Dream Chasers.

[Crystal]

Yep. Yep.

[Kid Fury]

And so there's no way that isn't on the document. You know, like, you can't. There. Come on. I mean, right?

[Crystal]

You would think you would.

[Kid Fury]

You. You would think you would think so. So, yeah, we'll see what happens with this. But I. I have a feeling that this could at least be a settlement. Like, you know, girls.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

So many black hairs. Just stop talking to us. Cause come on. I could see it looks like this looks like a tear, a t. Ah, it looks like a tour tea.

[Crystal]

I. Absolutely. Without, you know, LeBron's face on it, which is not that easy to tell that it's LeBron's face either. But I would have thought this was bootleg Meek Mill merch that somebody was selling outside of the stadium or whatever during his show. Like, I 100% would have thought that. But I also know that, like, massive companies like Nike keep attorneys on payroll for a reason.

[Kid Fury]

And so they're not gonna do this if they.

[Crystal]

You know, that's. That's where I keep ending up that, like, Nike just not gonna put something like this out.

[Kid Fury]

No.

[Crystal]

Without the people having, you know, dotted their I's and crossed their T's. So it's looking like the label should have. Should have trademarked dreams and nightmares a very long time ago. And I don't know why that didn't happen. I really don't know why that didn't happen.

[Kid Fury]

And at the same time, Nike is fully playing in this man phase.

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Because what do LeBron James have to do with dreams and nightmares at all?

[Kid Fury]

At all?

[Crystal]

What was the reason, like, of all the things y' all could have called. You want to celebrate, you know, these different moments in his career? Why dreams and nightmares? I mean, I. I guess, but I just feel like y' all could have came up with something. Like the creative team, marketing team could have came up with something else. Um, so, yeah, we'll let the judge figure it out.

[Kid Fury]

They looked at that open legal pathway. Tough, like, sucks to be you, bitch.

[Crystal]

It sucks to be you, bitch. Right.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, so Ray J got knocked out at a boxing game. He's been hospitalized since. Yeah, he was at some MMA event. I guess that Seems to be hosted by Aiden Ross. So this is why I never. I didn't hear about it because why would I, you know? Yeah, so.

[Crystal]

Oh, it came right. It came right up. Google said, I know exactly what you want to see.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, he got his ass beat. They send some to the hospital. Talking about his heart again. I've seen several people I guess, supposedly in his inner circle who have said, we told that nigga not to do this. We told him not to go boxing, fighting or none of that stuff. He just don't listen. He hard headed. And that made me think of Monica taking Ray J phone from him during that.

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Ray J, where are you at? Give me your phone. You don't have any kind of impulse control. You ain't got sense.

[Crystal]

Oh, Ray J. So I didn't know he was hospitalized earlier this year for heart issues and pneumonia. Yeah, did nobody make him pass a physical to be a part of this? I mean, are you not opening your

[Kid Fury]

5 year old streamer?

[Crystal]

Okay, I'm asking stupid questions. All right. It just seems like you're opening yourself up to get sued if this man gets seriously hurt as a result of this fight that he medically probably should have never even been a part of.

[Kid Fury]

Maybe the girls are playing serious games with fighting. Okay, yeah, like professional fighting I see is giving almost like politics where it's like, oh, I was on Love Island. Money for fighting. Oh, sure. And then you get like a public defense version of a trainer.

[Crystal]

Right? Who?

[Kid Fury]

And you work with them for, for eight weeks.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

And then you die Right.

[Crystal]

By somebody named Super Hot Fire. Super yes. Yeah. I'm like, oh, oh. I actually, I think I would have

[Kid Fury]

a pro boxer either.

[Crystal]

I mean, I don't know. But your name is Super Hot Fire. I'm not getting in the ring with you.

[Kid Fury]

Like, I just, I'm not gonna lie, I've never heard of them.

[Crystal]

Ray J, are you not a 45 year old father of like 3? Why would you do this?

[Kid Fury]

You're lying. You're lying.

[Crystal]

What is Jonathan Major's boxing name? That would be hilarious,

[Kid Fury]

actually. Would be hilarious.

[Crystal]

Oh, wait, what are we.

[Kid Fury]

But I feel like his name would be more like.

[Crystal]

No, it's not. It is not.

[Kid Fury]

Super Hot Fire is the nigga from the SME.

[Crystal]

No, it cannot be. I actually. It is. I just googled him and it came right up. And that's why I said there's no way. It cannot be that kid from that video.

[Kid Fury]

That's why I reacted like that.

[Crystal]

Oh, wow.

[Kid Fury]

It is 1,000%. The young man, from this battle rap meme where everybody falls. I can't.

[Crystal]

Oh, no. That dude look like his face. No, the Internet. It's handed. No, the Internet be lying. I will not. I will not. No. I'm sorry. I cannot fall for that. Oh, no.

[Kid Fury]

Hot Fire makes a living as an online content creator, actor on social media. Real name DeShawn Raw. DeShawn Raw. This nigga from that meme, babe. And he beat Ray J's ass and put him in the hospital fierce.

[Crystal]

Yet TMZ posted a picture of Ray J in the hospital yesterday, and he don't look well. I mean, you in the hospital, but

[Kid Fury]

it doesn't sound like he was well.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

Which was concerned.

[Crystal]

Again, why was there not a physical mandated for all of the participants in these. In this boxing, we had to do one for drunk history. I don't know why the fuck you wouldn't have to do one for this. Okay, well, all right. When Ray J.

[Kid Fury]

The big lots Smart and final.

[Crystal]

Damn, that hate to see.

[Kid Fury]

I wonder how many people posted the meme of everybody falling out and grabbing his hoodie in that room. You know that meme is everywhere, right? It spans so many generations and seasons of our life. I cannot believe that that's who this was.

[Crystal]

I don't even remember the context for the original video. I don't even remember why they was reacting like that. But I don't remember freestyling. Oh, it was a freestyle. Okay. Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

And he just says they're going back and forth saying, like, funny roasting. It's like a street freestyle parody.

[Crystal]

Got you.

[Kid Fury]

And I'll never forget that scene where he. I don't even remember what he says that makes everybody fall out on that moment. But it's so iconic. I've even seen, like, big corporations and animators have made versions of it. It's.

[Crystal]

It's very popular. This is damn.

[Kid Fury]

Well.

[Crystal]

And that little nigga from the video knocked you out.

[Kid Fury]

Damn. Ray J hospitalized you for days.

[Crystal]

And they said they don't know when he getting out. Damn. God damn, nigga.

[Kid Fury]

Ray J, please be careful. Like, you don't. I think that they're really. Also. The payout for these things has to be, like, irresistible.

[Crystal]

It has to be good it. Because, I mean, I don't know what Ray J does. There you go. I don't know what Ray J has spent his money on, but I'm sure he hasn't spent it responsibly. And maybe that's why he's always, you know, doing something goofy or silly or, you Know, you know, selling glasses that he claim are unbreakable or whatever. Like he always doing some little annoying. So yeah, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he did this. I'm more shocked that they allowed him to do it because the nigga just had heart issues. Why would you let him in the ring?

[Kid Fury]

I wish I could say I was surprised. Yeah, I saw Aiden Ross, right? Surprised they both didn't just die in the, in the ring and everybody make a video about that.

[Crystal]

It was so sad.

[Kid Fury]

Right? Take a. Take some time off. Take a break. You have children

[Crystal]

just right.

[Kid Fury]

Nobody wants to lose their daddy because he went and did some boxing match everybody told him not to do when he already seems to be having health issues.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

For what? Stop. Quick question. When you Google Super Hot Fire, does it also say on the top of Google I'm not a rapper? Is there not? Because I see I'm not a rapper. Like, like the scrolling tape at the bottom of the. Do you see that at the top above?

[Crystal]

Yes.

[Kid Fury]

What is that?

[Crystal]

I don't know, I've never seen that. I guess you can customize your Google search. Maybe you could pay Google to have them do some shit like that when they Google you. I guess that was pretty smart of him because I've never seen that shit before. And I was about to say, what are you looking at? And then it came right up on my screen. So nevermind.

[Kid Fury]

This has to be a result of him beating Razor.

[Crystal]

Yep.

[Kid Fury]

And then probably having team contact Google. No, I'm not a rapper. Cause that was my first guess. No shade.

[Crystal]

Yeah, I mean, and the Wikipedia says musical artists, so I can see why. But.

[Kid Fury]

And the meme is them freestyling.

[Crystal]

Right? So. But I guess that was really important for you to clear up that you're not. All right, well, whoever you are, you. You knocked Ray J's ass right out this say less than 30 seconds. Yikes. Jesus. Oh, Raymonte. What are you doing with yourself?

[Kid Fury]

Okay, so there's. There are allegations that Lil Wayne is engaged, that it's a secret, and that the woman he's engaged to is in her 20s. Lil Wayne is 43. Again, there isn't any specific proof. No one has come forward and confirmed it, at least not at the time of us recording this. But I've seen this, this report on a couple of different places today. So I don't know who's chatting or if it's just a. One of those wild, wild rumors that, you know, high school students just make up and the next thing you know, it's crossed our country's border. Motherfuckers in Sweden talking about what happened to Bow Wow. So, yeah, there really isn't that much. I guess TMZ reported it first, but no one's confirmed. And that is about it, obviously. Wayne got how many? Four kids, Four women? Yeah, I think.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Kid Fury]

Reginae, Lauren, Nivea, and. And I can't remember the other girls. Sarah. I think the other girl's name is Sarah. Vivian or something.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Kid Fury]

But, yeah, his entire love life has been in the streets since as far as back as I can remember.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

He loves placing him in the streets. And, yeah, he could be engaged to someone nearly 20 years younger than him, so.

[Crystal]

Well, I mean, I wouldn't be shocked. It is Lil Wayne. And this is also not the first time he's been engaged and then didn't get married, so.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, I don't see. He's not gonna get married whether this is true or not.

[Crystal]

So you being engaged don't mean too much. Cause you. You've done this a few times with Nivea and that other girl you was with, so. Yeah. All right, Good for y'. All.

[Kid Fury]

I think there were Trina rumors, too.

[Crystal]

Oh, yes.

[Kid Fury]

Married way back in the day.

[Crystal]

Yep.

[Kid Fury]

See, So I was invested in that.

[Crystal]

I bet you were. That was your stepdaddy. I was almost your stepdaddy. Almost our stepdaddy.

[Kid Fury]

Um, man, young money.

[Crystal]

I don't know what that means.

[Kid Fury]

You could be engaged to a Baby Tanya over there talking about, thank you, Elon, for everything you've done for humanity. What is that?

[Crystal]

Who said what?

[Kid Fury]

On, no, she didn't. Tanisha marriage went down to SpaceX or

[Crystal]

whatever the other day.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, God.

[Crystal]

Oh, my God. She really did.

[Kid Fury]

Thank you for all that you do for humanity.

[Crystal]

It's just like, bitch, be specific. What exactly has he done for humanity that was like a net positive? And speak quickly, Listen.

[Kid Fury]

Much like her president freestyling whatever comes out. Like, that's word. That's bond. Who cares? Because I show up, you pay me. This is. This is the season of America's wide open thievery and grifting where it's not, you know, underhanded, it's not under a rug. You know what I'm saying? The president is out here suing his government, settling the lawsuit, giving money and then giving it. Right?

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

And we can't vote.

[Crystal]

So major shout out to Elon. Elon, this can't be real. Please tell me this is AI Oniki.

[Kid Fury]

So when she pulls up in that

[Crystal]

pink cybertruck Right, Right. Don't be shocked when she pulls up. Are you happier? Really? Girl, do you really feel like this was the move for your life, for your career? Like.

[Kid Fury]

Okay, I don't think she's anywhere anyway.

[Crystal]

Yes. Between you and Wayne and Drake, Young money is. So did you finally press play?

[Kid Fury]

I pressed play. You did two of them.

[Crystal]

Okay, good enough.

[Kid Fury]

I haven't listened to Habibi yet.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

I'm not even gonna promise I will. I'm sure.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Kid Fury]

But I did listen to. I almost said Hour of Maidens. What? I listened to Maid of Honor.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Kid Fury]

Hate. Hate it back. Hated that whole phase. Really set me up for what I thought was like, oh, this is gonna be fun and cute and, you know, girly, butch queen Drake. Hated it.

[Crystal]

Okay. Work.

[Kid Fury]

Despicable.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

And I feel like a lot of it was very Weekend Coded. Did you say that?

[Crystal]

I don't.

[Kid Fury]

I feel like you said that last.

[Crystal]

Did I? Maybe. No, I may have. Or I may have been quoting somebody else. I'm not sure.

[Kid Fury]

It sounded very Weekend ish to me. A lot of the songs, and I don't care for his music, as I've said before, but even the ones that didn't remind me of him, I was like, ooh, God, I have so many other things I could be doing. But I listened to all of it. Didn't like it. Iceman. I actually did like. Okay, now what I had to do to really kind of get through it and try to appreciate it for what it was is I had to. Okay. I imagined myself an alien. I've never heard of these people. I don't know what this nigga is really talking about.

[Crystal]

Okay?

[Kid Fury]

I have no context for the whining. So that allowed me to kind to, A, get through it.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

And B, not roll my eyes out of my head every time he said something. Cringe or off base or tone deaf or, you know, walks into a trap.

[Crystal]

Okay?

[Kid Fury]

Because that. That, like, Bay Area shit that he tried to do.

[Crystal]

All right.

[Kid Fury]

Why would you do that?

[Crystal]

It's.

[Kid Fury]

Why would you run to Atlanta and then name the song Run to Atlanta? It's like, was he trolling?

[Crystal]

Was he trolling like. Like Kendrick with that Toronto accent that he had? That.

[Kid Fury]

Right?

[Crystal]

Right. So maybe this. This was your way of doing that. But, you know, maybe it's just the light skin and the Jewish mob

[Kid Fury]

and

[Crystal]

people don't want to. There was, like, him on top of the mountain.

[Kid Fury]

Look, I heard him say some about the judge being racist. I heard him say some other about racist. Yes. I Heard him say some other shit about.

[Crystal]

But. But aren't they both black?

[Kid Fury]

And so then, okay, he said some other shit about. About being black or blackness too. That I was like, girl, okay, next bar. But overall, when I lived in my fantasy of never having heard of this nigga, I was like, this sounds good. I liked a lot of the toned down production. I like that I'm just kind of hearing him rap, hearing him be very poetic again. I loved a lot of the beats. The bops to me were boppier than Maid of Honor. It's just when I really sat and listened to some of the shit he was saying, it was like, oh, girl, build a bridge.

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah.

[Kid Fury]

I had to zoom out for a bit, but I actually liked it. I'd listen to a lot of those songs again.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Kid Fury]

Maid of Honor, though, Pluck her out.

[Crystal]

Gabosh. Okay.

[Kid Fury]

Couldn't stand it.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Kid Fury]

And I skipped every song that says Sexyy Red on it. And you can know that tonight.

[Crystal]

Well, that's. And you know, I'm the last one to blame you for that. I like how you said I had to sit here and completely divorce this album from everything that has happened to Drake in the past five years.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, I wasn't making it through otherwise,

[Crystal]

in order to kind of like the songs, be like, this is bopish. Like, okay, okay. So, yeah, this. I. I like. I said last week, I was not impressed. This three albums really could have been half of an album. Like, it really feels like you're just trying to hurry up and get away from these people. And yeah, you know, at least when Rihanna did that, she still gave us quality. Like, she put out an album every year. Yes, but they were good albums.

[Kid Fury]

They were good.

[Crystal]

They weren't. She wasn't just something out Drake. This. Yeah, yeah, it was a chop.

[Kid Fury]

But yeah, at least I'm gonna have.

[Crystal]

At least you tried.

[Kid Fury]

It could have been Iceman. I'd have put a whole phase on Iceman somewhere.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Kid Fury]

And then maybe a sprinkle of those of other songs from the two albums. Could have been like a deluxe. You know how the girls are dropping an album.

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Year later, they're like, here's the deluxe version with TAMO songs.

[Crystal]

Yeah, you could have three these albums, right?

[Kid Fury]

With my attention disorder, am I not giving a fuck about your art in years?

[Crystal]

Right? And Drake's music getting worse and worse as he ages. Like, if it was three great albums, I would still be listening to it.

[Kid Fury]

Thank you. Or at least say it out loud. You feel me? What were the ones I liked. Let me see. Like, I said, I liked. I think one song on that other

[Crystal]

one on Maid of Honor.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, the first one. You were so disgusted. It sucks. And I honestly hate the, Like. I hate the use of, like, a sound bite of women talking about anything. Like, I hate women. Especially when rappers do this, where it's like a voiceover of women being like, what time we going to the club? Because, you know, such and such is out tonight, right? Ooh, yeah. And I got my tampon in, or I took my plan B. Whatever. It's just like, what does this have to. A lot of people do it. I don't care for it.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

If you're gonna do something like that, at least put your voice in it too. Give me an interlude.

[Crystal]

Yeah, okay. The art of the interlude has been lost. Yeah, Like. Like how Sza did on Control. I liked. I liked the way Sza used spoken. Not spoken word, but the. The spoken voice, you know?

[Kid Fury]

Yes.

[Crystal]

Her granny or her mama or whoever, and, you know, them having a phone conversation and it. Tying the songs together. It also, you know, made the album a cohesive unit. Whereas again, Drake is just doing.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah. I mean, I feel like the first one, I guess I could sort of see the connection with Ho Phase, cuz I believe it's a woman. Sounds like she's talking to her mother and her mother is telling her to, like, settle down or something. Like, you've been in the streets for long enough. I want some grandbabies.

[Crystal]

Right?

[Kid Fury]

And then it's like, Ho Phace. Okay. But then there were a couple others. I'm like, we could have just as long. Hey, I'm long enough. Well, I don't remember a lot of these. I think I liked Whisper My Name. Love Manish on the Beach, Shebang. Love that.

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Hilarious.

[Crystal]

That one's fun.

[Kid Fury]

That one made me laugh. I think I like Make Them pay. I like Plot Twist. Honestly, I'd have to play some of these again.

[Crystal]

Yeah, same. Because it's been over a week for me, so I'm like, oh, yeah. Mm. Yeah, that out. It was very forgettable, like the I. And I knew from the beginning, the ones that are good or catchy, the children will just pull them and put it on TikTok and I'll hear it again. The rest of them will fade forever.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, that's what my homeboy said this weekend. Because we. I went to my friend's event on Sunday, and they were playing one of the songs, and he was like, see, I'm not gonna press play on that album, but I know it'll come to me. Like, I'll probably go out or be Ryan hasn't learned. I'll hear the ones worth listening to. And I was like, yep, you're not lying, sir.

[Crystal]

Every time.

[Kid Fury]

But, you know, Pat, on my own back, I was able to sit still and listen to about two hours of Drake. I did it for you. And I honestly didn't hate as much of it as I thought I did. I hated that first album.

[Crystal]

Well, right. You didn't even play the third one. See, you might have hated a lot more of it.

[Kid Fury]

You know what? Yep.

[Crystal]

You did what you could handle.

[Kid Fury]

So I did what I could handle. Above you, below zero.

[Crystal]

And that is fair.

[Kid Fury]

It was giving, like, youngest child or like middle Drake.

[Crystal]

This the album or. Okay, the album itself. Yeah, okay.

[Kid Fury]

Even maid of honor. It was a lot of like, you know, everybody hate me and I don't have no friends.

[Crystal]

I told you.

[Kid Fury]

And all you bitches is mad because it's me.

[Crystal]

Yep. And

[Kid Fury]

on three albums, all of them okay. Oh, but shout out to the doll. I guess she's, you know, she's got another number one. I think her fifth, 15th or something. So she's. She's yet here. Howdy, folks. This podcast is being brought to you by Squarespace, my favorite spaces. With Squarespace, everything you need to succeed online is in one spot. I still have quite a few friends who hit me up who are like, I'm starting this thing. I have this idea. I need a website or I don't know how to build a website. I promise you, every single time I direct them to Squarespace because it's so, so easy to make a good looking website that pretty much can showcase anything that you have to offer. Also, you can claim your domain to build a beautiful website so you don't have to worry about getting your.com or.net or TV. You can promote your work directly from there. You can take payments. It's all there. Whether you're just starting out or getting ready to grow, evolve. Throw a blossom into whatever Blossom evolves into. I don't remember. Easily create a standout site or designer templates with drag and drop editing and flexible design options. No experience needed. It's so easy, I can't stress it enough. They also let you offer services, book clients, get paid all in one place with scheduling, invoices and email tools built in. I use Squarespace for my website, kifury.com if you want to go over there right now, you can see how sexy it is to get a good idea of what they have to offer you here. It's really, really easy. It's always easy to update, and I like that it can look all pretty and unique while also being incredibly easy to manage. So if you're Interested, go to squarespace.com theread for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code theread1word to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Go get started. You know you want to let them know that we sent you.

[Crystal]

Hey, y'. All, you know what really grinds my gears? The fact that everything these days feels like it costs so much more than it used to. And I do mean everything. Groceries, gas, all kinds of bills. It all adds up. And we've all felt that pressure of trying to make our money stretch a little further. I am being so much more careful with my spending. I actually have a budget that I am very strongly sticking to these days. I'm double and triple checking prices. I'm comparison shopping all that to try to spend as little as possible when the cost of everything is skyrocketing. So when your tax refund hits and you're thinking about what's the best way to keep more money in your pocket without giving something up, I have a real life hack for you. Switch to Metro and save with no activation Feees and get one line of 5G for only $25. Yes, only $25. And no contracts that get in the way. But the best part is that you can keep the phone you love and keep your number. That's a lot of ends, but that's exactly the point. More money in your pocket, better value. All at Metro T Mobile. So get that more for your money feeling. Only a Metro. Visit your local store or metrobyt mobile.com and switch today. $30 first month, $25 after with autopay.

[Kid Fury]

Christopher Brown has received an honorary doctorate from a place called Harvest Christian University. All right, now, no word If Cheyenne Bryant went to this particular school, that

[Crystal]

is exactly the institution that gave her an honorary PhD. Yes, indeed it was. Yes, indeed. Oh, yeah, Harvest Christian gave a lot of people honorary PhDs, including Sheree Whitfield, Andrew Caldwell, Carl Anthony Payne, better known to fans of Martin

[Kid Fury]

Cole.

[Crystal]

That's Cole. It was on the tip of my tongue. So, yeah, Harvest Christian is not a real school. It's a diploma mill. And they give out these degrees or you can apply for one or pay for one. Whatever it is. They're not even a real school. They're not accredited. And yeah, so they gave Chris Brown one. Cuz why not?

[Kid Fury]

And he went and he took it and he's like, happy.

[Crystal]

Oh, they all do. They all go put on the robes and everything. Sheree P. In her robe and every.

[Kid Fury]

It's humiliating it.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Kid Fury]

Upon the recommendation of the university faculty. See, this is where you lost me. Upon the recommendation of the university faculty. Yeah. Okay. So it's legitimately all your fault. The authorities of this institution, the president and the trustees. Harvest Christian University hereby confers upon bruises. Who has fulfilled all the requirements the degree of Doctor of Philosophy in Visual and Performing Art.

[Crystal]

Yeah, yeah, they gave him that. Did you see his Instagram? The. The Instagram caption where he said I did a thing? No, you did not

[Kid Fury]

do anything.

[Crystal]

Oh, my God. Why would you even let these people play in your face like this? The big. The big honor. I cannot. You know, I don't speak Latin, but honoris causa. That big right there underneath it, that means honorary degree, meaning you did not actually do any work for this degree and we gave you this because we felt like it. Yeah. And it's people in the comments talking about Dr. Breezy. Oh, my God, you.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, God, I think I hate everybody.

[Crystal]

Yeah. And that's fair.

[Kid Fury]

This is stupid. But I also think giving people an honorary doctor doctorate is kind of. I'll just say it's confusing. My. The first word I was going to use was stupid, but I'm going to say that I think it's confusing. I don't have no college degree from nowhere. Like, how do I. So this is not me. Gatekeeping. I'm not by the gatekeeper. Nothing to do. Me.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Kid Fury]

However, I've found it odd that you can give, like, an honorary doctorate.

[Crystal]

Mm.

[Kid Fury]

Well, why not just give them like an achievement award or something?

[Crystal]

I mean, and that's essentially what it is. Like, it's an award like any other award. It's. You know, but. But also, I think historically they've been reserved for people who are actually.

[Kid Fury]

There you go.

[Crystal]

You know, worthy.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah. Yeah, I think that makes sense. You got it back.

[Crystal]

So. But also, it's always just been. It's always been like any award or plaque or something like that, you know, you cannot go get a job with this degree. It means nothing. You did nothing to receive that piece of paper. And it is literally just a piece of paper. You could ask Chad GPT to make you one and it would carry the exact same weight. It means nothing. So I'm shocked at the thousands. And it's over a hundred thousand comments on Chris Brown's instagram calling him Dr. Breezy and Dr. Brown and somebody said, oh, that man got his master's degree. Moving in silence. Like it don't say doctor of Philosophy. Big as day. And you know, I, it's not that I expect Chris Brown friends to be, you know, well, that's what a PhD is as a doctor of Philosophy. But yeah, he just. There was no work done here. This is not an achievement. Chris Brown didn't do anything to deserve a PhD. He did not earn a PhD. And obviously I don't have one honorary or real. So I let most of the people who want to argue about it. You know, I'll leave that up to the PhDs. But to me it's always just been an award. Like it's just. It doesn't. You, you can't go get a job or you know, you can't go get a, you can't go teach or run a research lab or whatever else with this degree like it is, especially from Harvest Christian University like it is less than nothing. I could print you out a PhD right now if that's what you wanted.

[Kid Fury]

I'm so confused. Like why not just call it an achievement in. What is it? Visual and Performing arts?

[Crystal]

Yeah, well, because like a degree. Well see this is, and this is what is so interesting to me is that like the same people who talk about degrees don't mean nothing and you might as well get a job. You, you waste two years in school learning basic stuff anyway be the same people turn around and applaud somebody for getting an honorary PhD. So it's like that really don't make a whole lot of sense. But yeah, I mean I just. This, this is also the problem with degree mills schools and that's heavy air quotes like Harvest Christian University, they give out these honorary PhDs to Midas celebrities so that regular degular people will turn around and pay ridiculous prices to also get themselves some kind of degree. That is also going to be meaningless. But y' all don't care because you, you need a degree for a job or whatever else. Like for this is basically them this whole graduation with these other model niggas on stage that are also not really getting a degree. That is all just a big advertisement trying to get other susceptible people to enroll at this online only private Christian school in Dallas and then eventually get themselves a worthless ass degree. So you know, it don't mean nothing to me. I don't understand why you so proud of it. Like I. But, but you also don't know much about school or achievement. So I guess that does explain why you would be so proud of it.

[Kid Fury]

They must have a course that's called, like, how to Get Away with Abuse.

[Crystal]

Okay. I mean, that's another thing. Why would a Christian school be awarding Chris Brown anything? What about Chris Brown's behavior is even remotely Christlike? That's why I said, let me look into this school. And then somebody had posted on threads all these different celebrities who've gotten honorary PhDs, and Cheyenne Bryant was one of them. And I said, okay, I know what we're dealing with now. Yikes. Oh.

[Kid Fury]

Kevin Hart is basically defending comedians, right? To cross the line during a roast. When talking on the Breakfast Club about what's his man named? Tony Hinchcliffe. Yeah, about his George Floyd joke. He said the Tony told a joke. It wasn't a tasteful joke to us. We didn't like it. We move on. I don't understand why we stand on a hill and it becomes this big thing. It doesn't have to be that. It literally is either a fan of this level of content or you're not. And if you're not a fan, then you don't watch it. Would I tell these jokes? No. But I do get why they're being told in reference to Pete Davidson making a Charlie Kirk joke, which I wouldn't

[Crystal]

even Girl, the fact that y' all acting like that's the same thing.

[Kid Fury]

Why would you even. So are you out of touch?

[Crystal]

Oh, that's not even a question no more.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah. I'm not looking at Pete crazy. I'm not looking at Tony crazy. I know what we're going to do. I know your style of comedy. He said he wouldn't expect anything less of Tony or anything more. And I mean it. From what I have heard, it sounds like there was lots of people at this roast who don't give a fuck about you or respect you and are kind of there for the kiki, the payment and the. The capitalization.

[Crystal]

Yep.

[Kid Fury]

He also eventually just said, you know, essentially, I didn't tell the joke. I didn't say it.

[Crystal]

So why y' all mad at me?

[Kid Fury]

Get mad at me.

[Crystal]

Oh.

[Kid Fury]

Thoughts?

[Crystal]

Well, you know, he brought up Tom Brady and was like, you know, they was making racial jokes at Tom Brady's roast, too. And when Tom Brady felt like things went too far, he got up there and told that man, hey, don't say that shit no more. And it wasn't even a racial joke that he said that about. But, like, Kevin Hart at no point went up to Anybody and said, hey, you doing too much, or, you know, that's a step too far, whatever else. And he made the argument that, you know, there was jokes made about his dead parents, and, you know, that's just how roasts do. And it's like, but, yes, this was the roast of Kevin Hart.

[Kid Fury]

Exactly.

[Crystal]

This was not the roast of George Floyd.

[Kid Fury]

Exactly. Exactly.

[Crystal]

So why is George Floyd even being brought to have a white man say that? Okay, so any. So. So when he said that, all I heard was whatever noises raccoon makes. Just a little scurrying. Just little. Yeah, just little nasty little rabies and. And disgusting little things.

[Kid Fury]

Raccoons don't deserve all.

[Crystal]

Well, they actually. They carry the rabies. They just do.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

And Kevin Hart is a grade A coon. That is a 100% through and through. I have made too much money, and I don't give a fuck about niggas no more. Coon like, it don't. You cannot find a pure example of a coon than Kevin Hart. Nigga, do you have zero morals. Do is. Does anything matter to you? Like, I just don't see how white people can get up here and say something like that about George Floyd. And then what's her name, Lauren LaRosa was talking. Yes. And she was like, well, you know,

[Kid Fury]

I was gonna bring that up, too.

[Crystal]

We talked to him, to George Floyd's brother, and he was saying, you know, it was a little weird, Kevin. Like, I would think you would speak up and say something. He just like, well, I mean, it's jokes. It's a rose. That's what people do. Okay, so you don't stand for nothing, then. So you don't stand for nothing, then. Just say that.

[Kid Fury]

I didn't like when. Cause Lauren said, did you see my interview with George Floyd's brother?

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

And he was like, no, no. Shy to you. But, like, I'm never gonna watch that. I'm just letting you know, I'm never gonna look at that. I know. Whatever. Whatever. And that little bit dragged out a little too long.

[Crystal]

Yep. Yep, it did.

[Kid Fury]

And Charlamagne is over there cracking up, and I'm like, we're talking. Do you know who George Floyd is? Why are you.

[Crystal]

Yeah. And this.

[Kid Fury]

And Lauren then went on to say that, like, he was a fan of yours.

[Crystal]

Right, Right.

[Kid Fury]

The brother.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

And just expressed how he felt or whatever, and it just felt so thrown away. So, girl. Yeah, I didn't like that. And I don't care for the excuse. Right. As a comedian, I feel like everyone even At a roast, outside of a roast has to have a line. And that doesn't mean you don't tell a joke about any given thing. I think anything can be funny, but it's who it comes out of and how it comes out. Right. For instance, there are some comedians who don't really tell, quote, unquote, edgy jokes at all that are still fucking hilarious.

[Crystal]

Nate Bargazzi, I like that white man.

[Kid Fury]

And then there. Are you laughing because I said Nate

[Crystal]

Bargettzi and you was like, anyway, I like him. I'm sorry. I think he's.

[Kid Fury]

I do not mean nothing about that. I didn't want to forget my. I didn't mean nothing. But, yeah, like, you have some that are quite edgy. That would probably. Everyone has their own moral compass. Everyone has their line. Right?

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

And I think, like, you kind of hit the nail on the head for me in a few ways. One, this isn't, like, first, it's not a George Floyd roast. It's a Kevin Harvest. Yes. Making fun of your dead mama and your dead daddy is absolutely something that I would expect to happen at a roast. And I would not be shocked if I felt some type of way about that or if I was with someone or near someone who lost a parent who also felt some type of way about that. But the person up there is not saying, hey, you in the third row. Isn't it fierce that your mama's dead? Like, that's not what's happening.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

And this is a roast that is. That is being. Being made into a public entertainment program for people all over the world who watch to consume.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

So it's not just some private roast that you had in your backyard. Ain't nobody gonna hear these damn jokes.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

That means that there has to be of accountability and responsibility for everyone who's going to watch this and feel some type of way and not just go, well, that's what a roast is. If you don't like it, don't watch it. That doesn't make any damn sense. What if you don't know what a roast is or you never watched a roast but you like Kevin Hart, right?

[Crystal]

What? It's not like there was some warning before it happened. Like, we're going to make a joke about George Floyd even though he don't have to do with this event. So if you don't want to see that, then cut it off. Like, you had to watch it to know that it was going to be offensive in that way. So what are the.

[Kid Fury]

It's not even that like, again, I think roasts are supposed to shock you. They're supposed to make you uncomfortable. It's supposed to be a playground where you can sort of just say some wild, wild shit. But I don't. I have never cared for the idea that because this is a roast, I can say whatever the fuck I want to and you have to just eat it because it's a roast.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

I've always thought that as an incredibly lazy excuse for horrible people to say horrible things or to show that they're horrible.

[Crystal]

And it is.

[Kid Fury]

It doesn't surprise me that it came out of this white man's mouth, because he's terrible. He genuinely sucks. Which is why I'm not surprised that Kevin even said he wouldn't expect anything less. But so then who is this bitch to you?

[Crystal]

Right?

[Kid Fury]

It reminded me of this joke that Whoopi Goldberg told once on. I want to say this was a standup special on Bravo. I'm not even in college when this came out. It was a long ass time ago. But she told this joke about a baby angel, a black baby angel. Have you heard this joke before? No, because I don't think she was the first one to tell it. So first of all, she prefaced the joke by saying, this is an offensive joke.

[Crystal]

Oh, okay.

[Kid Fury]

I want for us to think about this, to unpack it. Like, she kind of gave, like, a light disclaimer ahead of it.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Kid Fury]

Because the rest of the standup is, from what I remember was pretty PG, PG 13.

[Crystal]

Gotcha.

[Kid Fury]

But she was, like, ending the special with saying, I'm gonna say some shit right now that is offensive. And then let's talk about it real quick. So the joke is, little black baby angel's in heaven. He's excited as shit. I'm paraphrasing it. Obviously, he's, you know, excited as shit. He's flying around. He's just so thrilled. He sees God coming over a hill. He goes up to God and says, hey, God. God says, hey. He says, God, since I got these. These wings and I'm here in heaven, does that mean I'm an angel? And God says, no, nigga, you a bat. And I thought. I didn't. I don't remember. I think I did laugh when I first heard that joke, because I got it. God is just being like, he's roasting you.

[Crystal]

Oh.

[Kid Fury]

He said. But there's like, I didn't get it. I think if. Sorry, I didn't, like, are you an angel? The way that I received it the first time I heard it. Was like, God, does this mean that I'm an angel since I'm in heaven or within? And he's like, no, you a bat, nigga. Like, however she says the joke, she takes a swig of water. The room is mixed.

[Crystal]

Oh, you a bat, bat.

[Kid Fury]

What did you think I said?

[Crystal]

I thought you said you were bad.

[Kid Fury]

No, because you a bat.

[Crystal]

Oh, so God was like making fun of you, like, what you think you are, niggas?

[Kid Fury]

Yes.

[Crystal]

Okay, now I got it.

[Kid Fury]

Ok. And so I thought the joke was funny because it was like the end of the special. But what I loved about it is that after she told the joke, she drinks water. Most of the people in the room are laughing. It's white people in the room, black people in the room, everybody.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

After it calms down a bit, she says, now if you thought that joke was funny, I want you to ask yourself why. And that was kind of the end of it. And I think that what she was trying to say, because she knows there's black people, white people in his room, and they're laughing. Why do you think that's funny?

[Crystal]

Are you?

[Kid Fury]

No, not you. But I think she's like.

[Crystal]

Cause I would love to answer that.

[Kid Fury]

The point is like, why do you think that is funny? Why don't you think that is funny? It doesn't have to just be. Oh, someone said this offensive joke, right? Full stop. That was fierce, right? Every joke, jokes have reasons.

[Crystal]

They have,

[Kid Fury]

they mostly have truth to them. They have roots back to a foundation of something, right? If you laughed at this joke, especially if you wouldn't get it otherwise. It's outside of your race, your culture, your background, why'd you think it was so funny? Kevin Hart laughed at this George Floyd joke when it was told it was funny.

[Crystal]

Well, well, I mean, and honestly, the Whoopi joke, I guess it's, you know, it kind of could be the baby angel, could be any race, really. It's just God saying, nigga, that is like, okay, it's a black baby. But like the. To me it's like, okay, I can take something like that, a setup like that and punchline like that and laugh at it. Because the idea that an all knowing, omnipresent God is like, nah, nigga, you a bad. That's why you up here. Like, that's. That is hilarious to me that somebody that we view as so serious would talk to you like that, like, that's funny.

[Kid Fury]

But also, no n. You a bad. God is black. You know what I'm saying? He's not so without even saying that connection.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

The way that the punchline is delivered gives black God is like, come on, little nigga, if he'll get out of my face. This is what you stopped me for.

[Crystal]

Stupid ass questions your first day.

[Kid Fury]

But you and I could probably arrive at that, you know, meaning very easily.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

The rest of you bitches who in this room, laughing, why did you think it was funny?

[Crystal]

What was funny about that was.

[Kid Fury]

I don't know, something about this situation. Think of that. Like, you laugh. A whole bunch of people in that room laugh.

[Crystal]

Yeah. And sometimes we laugh at things automatically and then we feel bad, like, oh, my God. That.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah. Shocking things.

[Crystal]

Yes. And so that could be. That is. I'm sure, for somebody in that room that was true. But I think you, again, like you said, you really have to ask yourself, what is it about a man who was murdered by police? How is a joke about that person who has nothing to do with tonight's event? You know, looking up at us insinuating that he's in hell for some reason? A black man murdered by the police, by the way, like, just want to reinforce that point. Like, what is funny about that? Because I was immediately disgusted. But I want to know why you, Kevin Hart, not only thought it was funny, but then came on the Breakfast Club to defend this man's right to say it. Like, we all knew. We. We know what a roast is like. It's. It's just that there is a such thing as going too far for no fucking reason. It was a reach to make a joke about George Floyd, who again, had fuck all to do with the evening. George Floyd was not even kin to Kevin Hart. You just wanted to say something risque, something that would piss people off.

[Kid Fury]

Exactly.

[Crystal]

Like, you didn't. So, yeah, we have lots of issues. But you, Kevin Hart, coming up here and being like, well, that's just a roast. And they made fun of my dad, mama, and daddy, so what you really gonna do? They supposed to make fun of you. Talking about. Everybody's talking about how short I am and all this. Yes, it's the roast.

[Kid Fury]

I, Kevin Hart, dipping a bottle. That's funny, nigga, because you're small. And B, it's a joke about you.

[Crystal]

And it's like, Kevin Hart just. Nigga, just say you don't care about nothing but the money and go. I've been knowing this about Kevin Hart. This changes nothing about my opinion of Kevin Hart. Cause it's been obvious for a long time he don't give a shit about nothing but dollar bills. But wow. Wow.

[Kid Fury]

I'm not gonna front. I was a little bummed out, only because I guess he hasn't really gotten on my nerves in a while that I could think of. So this was like, oh, yeah, great.

[Crystal]

I forgot.

[Kid Fury]

Here you go. Yep. Here you go. Welcome back.

[Crystal]

Oh, man.

[Kid Fury]

Let's end with the link up we knew we needed and we're glad has happened. Houston hotties, Solange and Megan having the time of their life on the open seas, vibing, dancing, blacking, and beautiful.

[Crystal]

Oh, man. Oh, I've never been so jealous. I have never been so jealous.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, my God, can you imagine the vibes?

[Crystal]

Oh, I just. Please. I would literally drive the boat. I would literally drive the boat. Just call me next time. I just want to be around.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, yeah, yeah, I know. They was just smoking J's and cackling and talking shit.

[Crystal]

And I really love this for Meg. I feel like, you know, Solange went and did some healing shit with her in the water. I saw a bunch of people being like, they for sure. They either gave, you know, like, sacrifices to the water or offerings and gifts to the water, or they was out there fucking. I'm like, either way.

[Kid Fury]

Why couldn't they do all this?

[Crystal]

Either way, I don't care. Like, they are so the picture that Solange took of Meg and then the one that Meg took of Solange, and they just look so happy and like, they having so much fun. And, yeah, Meg looks so good. And I just. I hate Klay Thompson. I really hate Klay Thompson. You broke her heart, but she is gonna be all right. My bitch is gonna be all right. She does.

[Kid Fury]

I saw a clip that she posted today for. I think it was Nyx Cosmetics. She's doing something with Swimweed.

[Crystal]

Yep.

[Kid Fury]

Did you see that clip? Did you see that dress? That's it. Did you see that body?

[Crystal]

Megan, Megan. Can any of us, like, please. My nigga is on this app. God damn soaked. She is so fine. She is so fine. That dress looked like somebody had literally just poured it on her and it just.

[Kid Fury]

Right.

[Crystal]

Was clinging all over the place. You know, it's supposed. She's obviously supposed to look wet, but it's just. Oh, my God. Delicious. That girl is juicy. Oh, Jesus Christ. It's insane how good she looks.

[Kid Fury]

Well, I'm just happy to see her with a big old smile on her face and her tongue out with another Houston icon. It's very nice to see the, you know, our sisters love on each other.

[Crystal]

It is.

[Kid Fury]

And call upon one another and be like, you know what? Fuck everybody and their grandma. Let's just like, let's me and you link up and let's. Yeah. Do some healing backstrokes and the. And the waters off the coasts of whatever African country or some shooting. Yeah, I'm just like, they look so happy.

[Crystal]

Yeah. I saw Solange responded to a comment of somebody who was like, solange always look like she on vacation. And I love that for her. She was like, no, I just moved out into the wilderness by the rivers and oceans and trees and shit. So it looked like I'm on vacation. That's just because I'm out in nature. I'll be right back home later today. Love that for her, but, yes, I do. This is exactly the sort of community, like time with black women and, you know, crying about n. Let's go swimming and smoke some weed and just have fun and be together. Like, I was hoping Meg had genuine people like that in her life. And so, I mean, the rest of these little rap hoes may be wishy washy and funny acting, but Solange don't have nothing to prove to nobody. And I can't imagine her ever switching up on Meg for any reason. So I'm really glad to see that for her. Really am.

[Kid Fury]

Oh, yeah. Real quick, I also wanted to mention, speaking of H town icons and things I saw, I don't know if she was at the AMAs, but Monalia was just on a red carpet for something and she had her grill and she often spokes, sports a grill. Yeah, I love them, obviously, but you know, where I'm from, so I guess maybe she's been getting some critiques of it or always wearing them or something. Something, something. And she posted a comment that was like, Beyonce told me that she loves when I pair my grill with a gown, so the girl stays. And I was like, absolutely. I couldn't agree right anymore. Like, I already thought that. But yeah, everyone would have to hold your ovary.

[Crystal]

Yep.

[Kid Fury]

If. If that was the case. Class my booty cheeks and stay pissed.

[Crystal]

Like, I already liked it for myself. I was already gonna do it anyway, but then Beyonce being like, I love when you do high couture and a grill in your mouth, bitch. Good luck getting me to take this out for any public appearance ever. The again, Beyonce just co signed my. I'm gonna always have it on. So, yeah, good for her. Love her. Did you see my dad at the AMAs?

[Kid Fury]

Of course I saw her.

[Crystal]

Oh, I love her. Yes.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

Along with my little stepbrother and my stepmomy, Ebony. They just. They're so happy. And I just. God, I love this for Queen Latifah so, so much. I just love that she did it her way. What an icon.

[Kid Fury]

Me too. Because, you know, the. The Scooter era. I always thought Scooter was me. In fact, I thought Scooter was fine. But I'm. I'm happy for today and that her vibe is always like, girl. Like, when talked about it, when talking about it or questioned about it.

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah.

[Kid Fury]

She's always like, girl, it's not that big a deal.

[Crystal]

I mean, what was there to talk about? What was there? She was on with Angie Martinez, and Angie was like, you know, the whole thing,

[Kid Fury]

right?

[Crystal]

And she was like, girl, ain't nothing to talk about. It is what it is should be going on. It's just my life, you know, I never felt no need to talk about nothing because I'm that girl. And it just was gonna be what it was gonna be. I'm like, oh, I'm obsessed with her. I love her so much.

[Kid Fury]

Embarrassed.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Okay, folks, let's take a break. We'll come back with your letters.

[Crystal]

Hey, y'. All. So when I first went natural years and years and years ago, I fell down that delightful yet frustrating hole that so many of us tumble into when you try so many products and routines because you're, like, just trying to figure out what works for your hair and all the different textures on your head. So if you're anything like me, you took advice from a lot of different people, from friends to classmates to the natural hair influencers and the online forums. It was a relief for me when I finally found a basic routine that works for my very fine hair. But I still like to try new products because my hair's needs seem to be changing all the time. And I feel like so many of us in the natural hair community can relate to that. Baskin Lather is all about creating products specifically for textured hair instead of forcing your hair to fit someone else's routine. Okay. Amen. Their stimulating scalp and hair balm is made with 100% natural ingredients to nourish, reduce breakage, and add shine without that heavy, greasy feel. I know y' all know what I'm talking about. And the hydrating hair mist keeps your hair soft and hydrated with aloe vera and avocado oil to help with frizz, detangling and redefining your curls, especially for our styles like braids, twists, or LOCs. Plus, Baskin Lather is black owned and family operated, rooted in real care and real results. So explore their viral bestsellers and products of healthier hair of all types of From Baskin lather go to baskandlatherco.com and use code reed for 20% off. That's 20% [e-mail] code R E A D let them know the Reid sent you this episode of the RE is brought to you by Chime. Chime is changing the way people bank with fee free banking built for you. No overdraft or monthly fees. Thousands of fee free ATMs and members can benefit from up to $1,150 in annual rewards. With a Chime card you get 5% cash back in a category of choice like gas or groceries and savings that grow faster with a 3.75% APY that's nine times higher than the national average. Chime is not just smarter banking. It is the most rewarding way to bank. So join the millions who are already banking fee free today. Head to chime.com theread that's chime.com theread it only takes a few minutes to sign up. Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking Services for Chime Card provided by Chime's Bank Partners. Optional products and services may have fees or charges. Stated annual percentage yield and cash back for Chime prime only. No minimum balance required. For more information on APY rates, go to Chime.com disclosures We are back folks.

[Kid Fury]

It's time for your listener letters.

[Crystal]

Yes it is. Send your questions to Ask the Ready Jomel? Ask the Read gmail dot com. We may just read them aloud on the show. All right. Oh well, here's one for a kid Fury from Lydia who said, ever since Venezuela, Fury got married at age 16 just two weeks ago, I've gone down the Tyson Fury rabbit hole. Oh to learn more about the Gypsy King and his family, I just completed their show on Netflix and wanted to know, since your handle includes the word Fury and you've already expressed that you're such a big fan of boxing at mma, are you a fan of Tyson Fury? Have you watched his series? I think it's so commendable how open he is about mental health. Love you both. Keep doing a great job. Thanks Lydia.

[Kid Fury]

Thanks Lydia for asking. Am I a fan of Tyson Fury? No. Have I watched his series? Will I watch his series? No. No. Okay, shout out to you for enjoying him.

[Crystal]

I didn't know he had a daughter that he allowed to get married at age 16, but I guess so wild. So okay.

[Kid Fury]

Well his brother's also a boxer that was on like Perfect Match or some. I think he was on Love island, actually.

[Crystal]

Oh, wow.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Kid Fury]

His brother's very pretty, Tommy, but not a fan of either one of them.

[Crystal]

Gotcha.

[Kid Fury]

But he's like, tyson Fury is an Omega icon. Like, he's.

[Crystal]

Yeah, even I know that name.

[Kid Fury]

Famous boxer. Yeah. So not because y' all share a name.

[Crystal]

Yeah. They was like, that's your Internet daddy. Are you a big fan?

[Kid Fury]

His last name is actually Fury.

[Crystal]

Right, Right.

[Kid Fury]

I'm using a stage name.

[Crystal]

Yeah. Okay. Our next question comes from Troy, who says, hey, Kiff. Hearing Cryst. I'm seven months pregnant, a mother of a toddler, and I work full time. My husband also works 12 hour shifts six days a week, and he coaches basketball some evenings and on the weekends, which means I'm often taking care of our home by myself. My sister in law texted me asking if I could watch her and my brother's dog for eight days while they go on vacation next month. Now, in the past, I have dog sat for them despite the fact that I am slightly allergic and I don't really care for dogs, usually for two or three days max. But this time it's much different. My brother's dog is almost 13 years old and is actively dying. She has multiple tumors in her hips, paws and shoulders. Her hips regularly give out, which requires both my brother and sister in law together to physically have to pick her up because she is a huge dog. Last time we dog set, she threw up on my couch and carpet and I thought she was not even gonna make it through the weekend. Even though she's my puppy niece, I can't handle the thought of her dying on my watch. On top of everything else, I also explained to my sister in law that my husband's mother as well as her daughter and dog are staying with us for a few days during that time frame that is already going to be a house full of people. My brother and sister in law's trip is in a month and at that point I'll be eight months pregnant and I cannot handle all of that at once. I would not even be able to lift the dog in case of an emergency. I currently can't even pick up my own toddler. My sister in law responded to my text message very dryly and I sense an attitude. She is the type to hold grudges.

[Kid Fury]

I sense an attitude.

[Crystal]

I sense since. Oh, and I sense an attitude. Okay. She's the type to hold grudges and keep her kids away when she doesn't get her way, but I don't think I'm being irrational at all. My brother doesn't like to get involved in the drama that his wife creates. But do you think this is worth bringing up to him? Am I tripping? I know you both are dog owners and your dogs are your babies, so I would like to hear from people who have that perspective. My dog and I are my dog. My husband and I are not pet people. So I don't know if I'm being mean because I'm pregnant or if she's really being entitled. I know doggy daycare can be expensive, so I do understand why she asked. They also don't have anyone else to help since her family doesn't live here. And my mother would rather chew denim than allow an animal in her home.

[Kid Fury]

Chew denim is one of my favorite. One of my favorite sayings. It's so funny. Beer it get it?

[Crystal]

Yeah. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks, Troy.

[Kid Fury]

Well, Troy, love this. Mm, mm, mm. Well, this one makes me feel away because link will be 11 in October.

[Crystal]

Wow.

[Kid Fury]

And yeah, I can't even think about that, talk about that. Just understand that you're not gonna hear from me for a while.

[Crystal]

Right, Right.

[Kid Fury]

There's that.

[Crystal]

Completely understandable.

[Kid Fury]

So one, I get that. I think that you probably not probably. You definitely should have been placing boundaries around this a while ago because you not a fan of dogs and you have an allergy.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

So this shouldn't have been like a recurring thing in the first place.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

You also pregnant. You have a kid, you have a man in house and then a. Is that his husband's mother?

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

So then is it his husband?

[Crystal]

The mother in law and a sister in law and a dog are all coming to stay at that same time too. So it's like you have a house full, people, animals. Right.

[Kid Fury]

Pregnant.

[Crystal]

Yep.

[Kid Fury]

Just I think a recipe for destruction. And I think I've said this before. When you're dealing with a pregnant person, be the village. Like for real.

[Crystal]

For real.

[Kid Fury]

Be the village. Yeah, it is. It is. It's 2012, the movie. It's the day after tomorrow in people's body. I am legend in the body, silly. Adding stress, acting, having to sense an attitude from a bitch.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Weird. I would definitely be speaking to my brother about this because even if you weren't pregnant, you'd be well within your right of being like, no, don't bring her half dead ass over here. I don't want to deal with it. I am allergic to. I don't like dogs. And on top of that it makes me very sad. I'm worried that she might die while I have her. That would be enough.

[Crystal]

It really would.

[Kid Fury]

If I hadn't have considered it for some wild reason before that I'm just outside. That thought, enough would be like, I also don't want my dog to die over at my sister in law's.

[Crystal]

Right? Right. Yes.

[Kid Fury]

The answer's no.

[Crystal]

So I, Troy as a dog mom, if Lainey was on death's door, I wouldn't be going nowhere. There's that. Any trip, any vacation can fucking wait. I'm gonna be with my baby. I'm not even risking LA dying away from me. Are you fucking kidding? Like, no. So first of all, no, I would not have even asked you to.

[Kid Fury]

No.

[Crystal]

Secondly, but to the greater point of like, you felt like your sister in law was being dry and should you bring it up, I wouldn't for a few reasons. First of all, she's allowed to ask, you're allowed to say no. Both of those things happen.

[Kid Fury]

True, true.

[Crystal]

It's possible that she was being dry with you or that she's disappointed or upset. It's also possible that you just read into that. But I think either.

[Kid Fury]

True.

[Crystal]

Either way though. Either way, she's. I'm, I'm not, I'm not going to be upset because you're upset. Basically. Like, if you are disappointed that I said, no, I'm not gonna watch your half dead 90 pound dog for eight goddamn days, then you can just be upset about that. If it gets to the point where you're like, now the nieces and nephews can't come over now you don't want to spend 4th of July with us or whatever because you feeling petty or whatever. Like, if it gets to the point of her talking shit about y' all or her actually, you know, behaving poorly, then I think I would bring it up. But yeah, otherwise it's just like, yeah, I texted Claudia that I could not watch, you know, Clifford the Giant fucking dog. And. And she was just like, okay, THX or whatever. And I was like, okay, I'm just gonna let you have that. Like, you can just have that. That's fine. I mean, and I, it's so funny because I think it legit started off as shorthand and now it's basically like code for I'm being passive aggressive. And this is not really a thanks.

[Kid Fury]

Right. And also thx, like a sound system in theaters.

[Crystal]

Oh, it might be. Or trs.

[Kid Fury]

I feel like when you hear that,

[Crystal]

I know exactly what the RX I don't know. I. I don't know. But I wouldn't necessarily bring it up unless she decided to start acting stank because it could just be me reading into it. She sound. You know, your sister in law also sounds like she has a full house and a lot going on, so she might have just been texting in a hurry. It. We don't have enough information here, I think to say definitively that she was trying to be a about it. So I would wait till she was being a about it. But like, girl, this is the responsibility of having a dog. Unfortunately, if you don't have somebody to watch her for free, then you're gonna have to take her to doggy daycare. And if she's on death's door, doggy daycare not gonna take her either. Nobody wants to have your dog die in their custody. Literally nobody. Cancel your trip and stay home with your dog. The. Did you know you can humanely schedule a time to put this dog down if she's got. She got tumors in half her body and her quality of life is in hell. Did you know you can put her down and put her out of your misery? Out of her misery. Like, I understand not wanting to do that. I'm very grateful that I'm not facing that choice right now.

[Kid Fury]

But it doesn't sound like she's that invested.

[Crystal]

Right. It sounds like she don't really care. Whose dog is it? Probably them kids. It's probably them kids. Dog.

[Kid Fury]

Dang.

[Crystal]

But yeah, no, you can. You can be upset that I said no because you're out of free options to watch the dog. That's understandable. I guess I would be upset too. I would not then take it out on you because.

[Kid Fury]

Right.

[Crystal]

You're allowed. But yeah, you can have your feelings. That's not a problem.

[Kid Fury]

Right.

[Crystal]

I love that she was like, my mama would never let a beast into her home. And so she has no other options.

[Kid Fury]

And yeah, she just doesn't. Also though, like, what was her response supposed to look like? Yeah, yeah. Like, was she supposed to be like, oh, but thank you so much anyway. And I really appreciate the fact that you always look after buttons and you know, maybe some other time. Like, I don't know what she's doing.

[Crystal]

Even though you're allergic. Like, I mean, you were already doing a lot. Okay.

[Kid Fury]

But I think showing appreciation at some, like saying that out loud to you, Troy, would be, I think really, I think it would just make a huge difference.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Not even in just watching the dog, but just you feeling like they're not being entitled. She's not being entitled. And that you're, like, hard allergy induced was not just thankless.

[Crystal]

Right?

[Kid Fury]

But yeah, I could see that. I agree with everything.

[Crystal]

I could see that. But you also didn't have to have a reason to say no. It could have just been no. You didn't want to watch the dog.

[Kid Fury]

I don't want to.

[Crystal]

For eight days. Yeah. That is expensive. That's a very expensive. To the doggy daycare bill. It's almost like y' all should have thought about that before y' all booked a vacation. It's almost like y' all should have thought about that. I don't know what you gonna do with buttons, but she not coming over here when I got eight other niggas in my house. And I'm eight months pregnant, girl.

[Kid Fury]

And I literally dogs. And I don't like dogs.

[Crystal]

What if I go into labor while that dog is here? Are you kidding?

[Kid Fury]

What if I go into labor and the dog dies while I'm absolutely not. Can you imagine? No. So here I am giving birth, and at the same time, the life is gone. Like, imagine both of those things happening.

[Crystal]

No, it's actually too much. They. I can't believe they're going on vacation knowing the dog is not doing that. Well, that don't make sense to me.

[Kid Fury]

I cannot believe that. So is there. Can you not take the dog on a vacation? You can't go nowhere and chill with where the dog could come with you. And it's late later years.

[Crystal]

Sounds like it's a big pain in the ass to bring a dog with you, Especially one that probably has accidents all the time and doesn't feel well and needs all these medicines and stuff. And it's like, damn, maybe you shouldn't go anywhere until the dogs. If it's that bad for the dog, maybe we should stay home, make some plans for Button's final days, you know, before we take her to the vet. We let her eat all the chocolate and onions and garlic that she wants to. She gets hella grapes. And then we take her to the vet and we let her say, night, night. You know, I just can't imagine traveling with Lainey. Lani could throw up. And I'm canceling my trip. What? You mean tumors in her paws? What? Sorry.

[Kid Fury]

I have fully done that before.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

Where Link, like, threw up on the carpet. And I'm like, oh, you know, dogs peek. Maybe something she ate. And then she throws up again.

[Crystal]

Oh, no.

[Kid Fury]

Well, cancel. I don't have anything to do tonight. Everything is canceled because what is wrong with you?

[Crystal]

I have literally, I have done that same thing. And it was entirely my fault. I was slicing up some plain turkey breasts that I baked for her and I didn't cut it in small enough pieces. And she's a greedy little. So she was swallowing the strips whole. And so like two hours later she's puking entire strips of turkey breast. And I had never felt so bad. I was like, nigga, you didn't chew like. I didn't. You didn't. You just swallowed these shits. You didn't even try to chew them up like. But yeah, my whole day was canceled after that. Well, why did you expect me to do, right? She looking like the fuck. Well, only one of us is the human here, girl. Like, okay, yeah, you're right, that was my bad.

[Kid Fury]

But I think your sister in law and your brother. I don't get this. They sound like Steve Urkel parents. I would always walk into the Winslow's house and stuff and be like, why are you over here? Don't you want to go home? Oh, yeah. My parents flew to Tahiti. I didn't know until I woke up this morning and there was like a note on the front door. Do y' all like, there was running joke, right?

[Crystal]

Steve's parents should have been arrested. They were never.

[Kid Fury]

No, legitimate. Legitimate.

[Crystal]

They neglected the fuck out of that boy. And instead the joke was, well, I see why your parents don't want to be around you.

[Kid Fury]

Like, yeah, yeah. He even moved in with them at one point.

[Crystal]

Yeah, why not? You might as well live there. Yeah, you are never home. Okay, Troy, good luck with your pregnancy, girl. You got bigger things to worry about, right?

[Kid Fury]

Loki, I don't like your sister in law.

[Crystal]

I. I really don't. I don't like the fact that she. I understand that she's allowed to ask, but I don't like the fact that they're leaving that dog when it is in such bad shape. Like, I just can't imagine doing that to Lainey. I can't. I can. I would not be away from my baby at the end of her life. Right? I can't even have a good time because every day I'm worried. Like, did she wake up? No, man, that. That.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

All right. Our last letter comes from Bonita, who says, hi Crystal and Kiff Fury. Oh, you know, well, well, you know what, Bonita? This is. This one is a little deep. We gonna save you for next week. This one. I was skimming over it like, we gonna need more time than what we have for that one. So this one comes from Portia, and Portia says I recently matched with a guy dentist online. In a recent.

[Kid Fury]

You just had to, didn't you, Portia? You had to.

[Crystal]

Oh, she isn't done. In a recent conversation, we discussed our families and where we went to school since we're from the same hometown. I told him that I knew one person, Simon, who I think went to school with Dennis. Dennis mentioned that not only does he know Simon, they're best friends.

[Kid Fury]

This is hilarious.

[Crystal]

The problem is that Simon and I have a long history. We met when we were 13 and ended up at the same college. In college, we grew an intimate bond, but never had sex. Simon and I reconnected in 2021 while I was visiting his city, picked up where we left off, and started hooking up. That lasted on and off for years, most recently in January 2025. I instantly got nervous because so far, Dennis and I have been hitting it off. Dennis went on to say that his younger sister is engaged to Simon and they have been in a relationship for six years. My jaw hit the floor. It wasn't until my last visit with Simon that I learned he had been seeing someone and we haven't communicated since then. I told Dennis that Simon and I used to hook up but didn't go into detail. And Dennis said he didn't mind because they didn't have nothing to do with him. It do, but he was curious about the time frame and I gave him a vague answer. What would y' all do in this situation? Would you tell Dennis about the full extent of the history you have with Simon and risk blowing up an engagement and a friendship? Or would you just keep your mouth shut? Thanks, Portia. Who said that? Portia?

[Kid Fury]

I don't think I would say anything,

[Crystal]

you know, gayish now, so.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah, right. I hate that for her in Atlanta. I mean, I hate that for the gays she dating in Atlanta. It could be a storyline. Anyways, I would not say anything.

[Crystal]

Why not?

[Kid Fury]

Because unless I missed something,

[Crystal]

they were hooking up while Simon was in a relationship with Dennis's sister. But she didn't know about that until the last one. But she also didn't know because Simon and the sister have been together six years. She'd been fucking this man since 2021. So that's well within that relationship. So would you tell, you know,

[Kid Fury]

Would I tell Dennis?

[Crystal]

Would you tell Dennis, hey, so I was sleeping with Simon while he was with your sister?

[Kid Fury]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

Yeah, I was.

[Kid Fury]

I don't know. I don't think I would, just because. Yeah, I would. Only because that I would. It would be something that I feel like I would either just break down and be like, look, I have to say this. Or we would be at. We would just be at Sizzler, right? And everyone's just enjoying their food. And all of a sudden, like, I have just, like, a mini cough as I'm drinking my Sprite. And instead of a cough, it's like, simon ain't shame. You know what I mean? Like, they would just. There's no way I would be able to keep something like that to myself for very long. So I think I would. I think I would, just because I wouldn't be able to keep it in without going crazy.

[Crystal]

You know, at first I thought, nah, I wouldn't. But you're right. It's only so long. I'm gonna be able to keep that to myself. And I can see two problems really developing. One, what if you and Dennis really start getting along? Y' all really start clicking. This becomes a serious relationship.

[Kid Fury]

Right.

[Crystal]

You're gonna be around a lot, considering his sister and his best friend are together. And that's another thing. What if y' all get serious? You end up meeting Simon's fiance slash wife, and you love her. Y' all are just good girlfriends.

[Kid Fury]

That's a good point.

[Crystal]

And hanging out and all this. The guilt would be my ass, girl. So.

[Kid Fury]

Yeah. And at that point, you're kind of too far gone.

[Crystal]

Right. I think if you don't want to say nothing, you just have to break things off with Dennis and exit this situation entirely.

[Kid Fury]

For sure.

[Crystal]

But if you gonna keep seeing Dennis, then you have to tell him. I think you do. I think you do. And that's gonna be so messy when he finds out his best friend was cheating on his little sister. Ooh, wee. That's gonna be. But call Bravo Andy so he can have the cameras rolling.

[Kid Fury]

I think so. I think you put on a cute little outfit, get dressed out.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

You know, pour you, like, a nice glass of iced tea and watch the

[Crystal]

shit and watch the show. Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

You might as well just park it and get entertainment.

[Crystal]

Ah, this is so messy. And, you know, this is really Simon's fault. Cause Simon's been lying to everybody involved. So. So I do feel for you because you said, you know, you met this guy. Y' all have really been clicking. But if you know that you were unknowingly the other woman, and it's just too. It's too messy. It would be one thing. Yeah. If they were just Best friends then fine. But best friends. And you're engaged to his little sister is too much. Sorry. So, yeah, I think you gotta tell the truth.

[Kid Fury]

Be quiet.

[Crystal]

Unfortunately, I do have a conscience. And yeah, I would not able to smile on your face knowing I your man while this was your man and he just over here lying to you. And you know, he's probably not done cheating. He's just done cheating with me, right? He probably still cheating on you to this day. Like I can't as a girl. I cannot do it. I cannot do it.

[Kid Fury]

I agree. Yikes. But let us know how that goes.

[Crystal]

Me an update. Portia, don't be stingy either. Hurry up. Let us know what you decide to do. Best of luck to you. All right, y', all, we are gonna wrap up the letters right there. Again, if you have a question for us, send us an email. Asktheread gmail.com. we'll be right back. Hey, y', all, if you're hiring, you want a candidate who's passionate about the role, but you really can't get that insight from a resume. So when I had my last 9 to 5 job, I was actually tasked with the responsibility of hiring my replacement. And it was easy to find people who are qualified on paper. But when I was conducting interviews with some of these candidates, the ones who really jumped out were the ones who were super interested in the role. And they genuinely were like they had questions to ask about my responsibilities and what the day to day was like. They were excited about working for the company, a giant media company that they knew, you know, this was a great opportunity. They seemed like they would be a good fit with the culture and the coworkers that I knew they would have to spend the most time with. And so they were just was so excited about it. They seemed like they were such a great fit that they jumped out more. So that's just the sort of thing that you really can't get from the resume by itself. But there is a way to work around it. Okay, post that job on ZipRecruiter. You can try for free at ZipRecruiter.com the Read now what will happen is Zoop recruiter will use their powerful matching technology to find qualified candidates quickly. And they have a new feature that shows you the most interested qualified candidates first. So you meet the right people fast, faster. Candidates can tell you in their own words why they're interested in your job, which will help you sort through the many people applying for the position and help you find the right person faster. It's no wonder that ZipRecruiter is the number one rated hiring site based on G2. So find candidates today who really want your job on ZipRecruiter. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. So again, try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com the reader that's ZipRecruiter.com T H E R E A D Meet your match on ZipRecruiter. Save yourself some time. Hey y', all, Spring is that time of year to restock and re evaluate what's going on in your home. What's in your pantry. Maybe you have some spices that expired several years ago. It's time to throw those away. You can take the stress out of grocery shopping and replacing those items with the online grocery Thrive Market. For just five bucks a month, get access to a curated selection of organic and non GMO brands, member pricing, free delivery, and even free gifts. Thrive Market also restricts over a thousand ingredients so you don't have to research every additive or second guess what you're buying. And with more than 90 dietary filters, you can shop your way, whether that's high protein, low sugar or whatever works for you. Your diet, your family, etc. I love thrive Market because I can get all of the basics that Lania and I go through on a regular basis. I'm talking about beans, rice, tea, sugar, chicken breasts, organic. All those things that we need, that we eat regularly are right there available. They come straight to the house. No delivery fees. And I don't have to take the time to actually go to the grocery store and sift through all that myself. It's just one more thing to make my life easier. So if you're ready to do your own spring reset, join Thrive Market with our link thrivemarket.com the read for $20 off your first three orders, plus you'll get a free 60 gift. That's thrivemarket.com T H E R E A D Let them know Kifier and Crystal sent you.

[Kid Fury]

Okay folks, we're back. It is time for the read.

[Crystal]

Do you have one this week?

[Kid Fury]

I think I can probably get through mine relatively quickly. Okay, okay. Dr. Umar, I try to just ignore you because I feel like that's what's best for all of us to do. Yet people still give you a place to sit down and a microphone to speak into. This time I saw you talking about Cheyenne Bryant and claiming that black people, women specifically, are tearing her down worse than Erica Kirk. Worse than all of these other like, names of like despicable white folk. You also alleged that the women who have a problem with her are jealous of her looks, of her success, and other things of that nature. Dr. Umar, if you want to fuck that lady, you could just say that. You could text a friend, you could DM the lady coming on here and comparing people's response to Cheyenne Bryant's untruths,

[Crystal]

to

[Kid Fury]

the wife of a dead demon who walks out to these turning point events like she's stone cold Steve Austin like she's China, like she's Rikishi. She's walking out like she has like a Wrestlemania belt on. And this is in front of crowds of children, of young people that they are indoctrinating. So how you would compare something like that to niggas saying, cheyenne, where's the documents? Like, no one is jealous of this lady as much as they are asking her to tell the truth and take accountability. Furthermore, I would want for people to say, if I'm giving money to a lady who calls herself a doctor and is misleading me allegedly on what it is that she like her accolades, her accomplishments, her academic work, I would want to know that. I would want to know that if somebody hit me tomorrow or if there was some social media discourse and I find out that my psychiatrist ain't got no damn license and it's been this whole time, I don't know if I'd fight or like, I want to know these things.

[Crystal]

I'm suing you.

[Kid Fury]

But everything that I have seen has been people saying legitimate, valid shit. Mostly, girl, why are you lying? There are many, many, many, many, many hardworking individuals who earned a doctorate. For real? Yeah. Broke their back, ran loans up to get this incredibly monumental and monumental and purposeful degree. You a lady from Basketball Wives with a bust down chain that say Dr. Bryant on it. We want to know the truth. So they're going to ask you to do that because people deserve to know. It's actually harmful as fuck for you to just be going around calling yourself any kind of doctor, any kind of whatever, even though you play and playing and you sitting there talking to Cam Newton about why he got so many kids. Because black people, and specifically black women who are doctors, black women who are patients, no respect. No respect, no support, no acknowledgement. Always backbiting and punching down and trying to like, disrespect. And here you go, like, well, sure, I'm on Wild N Out this week, but what does that have to do. So, Umar, if you want to Suck on that lady's flaps. I feel like that's something that you can just come out with. Yeah. Rather than trying to kick up dust and tell niggas that they're mad and they're trying to destroy this lady and whatever. Whatever. I'm not super shocked that you're supporting her as a grifter yourself, but you sound the fuck a fool. A fool. Like. And I believe he actually has a doctorate.

[Crystal]

He does. He. Well, he has a psy D. Okay,

[Kid Fury]

so you've done something. Something I can.

[Crystal]

You have done something, Cheyenne.

[Kid Fury]

Bryan got a Chris Brown degree. Why are you talking to us? Why are you. Why are you talking to us? Shut up.

[Crystal]

Oh, man.

[Kid Fury]

I think that's it for me.

[Crystal]

Well, I just love that you brought that up because Umar is also not a licensed practitioner. He's another one who just got his degree. And, you know, now he runs his mouth. I mean, a lot like me. But I was gonna talk about Amanda Seals for doing the exact same thing. She got on Instagram or whatever and started talking about how y' all doing too much about Cheyenne Bryant. And just because she lied about her credentials don't mean that she's not doing good work. And I had her. She was like, I had her on my podcast and she was brilliant. And I just, you know, y' all are. She said, y' all are just dragging it and doing a lot. And, you know, I think in a world where we act like credentials are everything, it makes sense that, you know, we can understand why some people would lie about things. And although credentials are important in some areas, not really important here because she didn't harm nobody and it's just not that big of a deal. And you know, Maya Angelou got an honorary doctorate too. And I don't see y'. All. She literally brought up Maya Angelou.

[Kid Fury]

That's rough. That's rough.

[Crystal]

I said, damn, Amanda. Even the people who try to stay out of it when you getting whacked had to say, now, wait just one goddamn minute, girl. Maya Angelou. First of all, Maya Angelou. Okay, so there's a lot here, right? But starting with the late, great Maya Angelou. You not comparing that light skinned bird bitch from reality TV to a Pulitzer winning poet who has won like every award that's possible for the first black woman to be depicted on a US Quarter. You're comparing her to Cheyenne Bryant. Maya Angelou did have an honorary PhD, but she got honorary degrees from 25 different accredited colleges and universities to compare. To compare her, like literally, Literally when we Talk about somebody deserving an honorary PhD. Maya Angelou is what we talking about. Okay? Yeah, we not talking about the Cheyenne Bryants and the Chris Browns of the world. I can't believe you even brought Maya Angelou up. That was, was so stupid. I don't know why you said that. Secondly, credentials matter a lot in health care and mental health care is health care. It matters a lot if you are lying about your degrees or your licensure or your, the places you have practiced or what you've practiced under. It matters a lot if you're doing that. I suspect that, that Amanda Seals is embarrassed that she platformed a liar and was on because she was saying. She said Cheyenne Bryant came on my show and she was brilliant. I said, I'll, I'll see that for myself. I'll be the judge of that. I went and pulled it up. I could first of all barely get through it because she came on talking about how Cheyenne is just so beautiful and she's just this gorgeous woman. I'm like, who cares? Like this has. What does this have to do with anything? Like who gives a what she looks like?

[Kid Fury]

I'm gay. Let me.

[Crystal]

But also like, I could not. I didn't even get through it. But I skimmed through the transcript. I'm like, I'm not seeing anything particularly brilliant here. However, I can see how you might have been fooled because I'm sure Amanda Seals has a degree in something. I'm also sure that something isn't mental health counseling or probably even psychology. You probably got your degree in African American studies or something like that because that seemed to be the political science because that's what you always running your mouth about. It's easy to be fooled by people when you're not actually an expert or knowledgeable in that area. So it's okay to say, damn, I can't believe this swindled me and had me calling her Dr. Brian when she not a doctor. And, and she even said on her podcast, you know, tell the people a little something about yourself because people know, you know, I'm not bringing just anybody on my show. And it's like, oop, I guess you did bring just anybody on your show. I guess you did just see a light skinned woman barely pushing back against like Nick Cannon and said, oh yeah, let me have her on my program so we can talk about how the tools that got you to where you are now are gonna have to be retired because they not gonna serve you no more or whatever other, you know, just general psychology platitudes. That probably anybody with a bachelor's degree in psychology could have spat out. Like, I'm not shocked you fell for it. I'm shocked that you decided to come online and insert yourself into it when you had fuck all to do with it.

[Kid Fury]

It.

[Crystal]

Nobody said, remember two years ago when Amanda Seals brought Cheyenne Brian on Harper? Like, we were not thinking about that. Or you. Why did you come and join the conversation and then be like, I wish y' all cared this much about Kamala Harris, and I wish y' all cared this much about genocide and in Gaza and Palestine, and maybe then I would give a shit. But I just have to say, I don't give a shit. Like, so what? She lied about her credentials. I don't care. Okay, you don't care. You also don't have to. This isn't your industry, and it has nothing to do with you. So why you didn't just sit the fuck out? I don't know. Literally, nobody summoned you. I'm not surprised that someone who is a fan of diagnosing herself is also a fan of people who don't actually have credentials or degrees or. Or licensure or whatever else lying about the things that they have. I'm not shocked that you're a fan of that. I'm really not. But again, you're getting these lashings now. You're getting dragged. People are saying, what the is wrong with you? And why would you even bring Maya Angelou's name into it? Because you decide to step up and insert yourself into this conversation. For what reason? Is it possible, Amanda, that you don't know enough about mental health or therapy or counseling or psychology to even have an opinion here? And I'm sure you would not be like, it don't matter. You know, the people lie about their degrees every day. If she was pretending to be a medical doctor, and a lot of people don't take mental health care as seriously as the rest of your body health care. But it is extremely serious. It is a huge deal. Especially because she is claiming to practice. She's claiming to be some kind of coach. You can go online and book sessions with Cheyenne Bryant. So, yeah, it matters a lot. Again, why are you even here? I could not believe it. So when you said Umar and Cheyenne Bryant, I'm like, everybody, this woman, this story will not die. But it's because somebody, every third business day is popping up to be like, y' all doing too much about Cheyenne Bryant. No, y' all not doing enough about Cheyenne Bryant. And it's because she looks the way she does, which is not. She's not even that pretty. Like, she's not. She's. Yes. She's not ugly. I'm not taking that away from her.

[Kid Fury]

No, no, we're sure.

[Crystal]

She works hard to look the way she does. Okay. I'm not taking that away from her. But she is not.

[Kid Fury]

I think she's so fine.

[Crystal]

No, she's not so fine that you can lie about having a PhD. She's. You got. She got on Amanda show and straight up said she earned a Ph.D. in counseling psychology. That is a lie. So if I were you, Amanda, I would have just came on here and been like, I can't believe she lied to my face on my show and let it go

[Kid Fury]

also. Or just like, man, we had a really good time on my show. He made a lot of great points. I thought it was a great interview. Didn't expect this wild ass shit. Damn. That shot out. But.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Kid Fury]

But I couldn't help but think when you were saying, you know, like medical doctors and how people don't consider or acknowledge mental health as like health care, which is true. I think some of those people don't also know or consider that your mental health affects your physical body and vice versa in countless ways. Right. I mean, so girl, you.

[Crystal]

Again, you don't know what you talking about. Which is fine. Everybody's not an expert in everything. I'm sure Amanda Seals is very smart about whatever it is she's very smart about, but this is not it. Yeah, this is not it. You inserted yourself into the dialogue and the hashtag discourse for what do you like? I think she likes being dragged. I really don't know what's wrong with that girl, but yeah, if I were you, I would have left that one alone. And last but not least, this Florida teacher who strung up that black baby doll.

[Kid Fury]

I didn't hear about any of this, but I can't say I'm surprised.

[Crystal]

I want her under. So her name is Karen. Of course it is. Karen Savage, 63 year old white woman who teaches at Barrington Middle School in Lithia, Florida, which this says is about 25 miles southeast of Tampa. Apparently, a student brought the doll to school and she became frustrated that the kids weren't paying enough attention in class. And so she took the doll and wrapped her phone charger cord around the baby doll's neck, tied it up and then tried to toss it over like the TV and kept going until she finally got it and then lowered it so that this hanging black doll is visible in front of the classroom. In front of all these kids. This is what a white woman did to a classroom full of black children. And so one of these kids, I think he's a 14 year old, a 14 year old named Noah said I realized I probably should take a video of this because she can't get away with this. This is crazy. And they work Noah. Right. And that the kids were saying, you know, this looks racist. Like you should probably take this down. This is crazy. But so yeah, he took a video and pictures of it. He went straight to student affairs to share this with the administration, of course with his mother and all this. And so she has been fired. This teacher, Karen Savage, she has been terminated. I won't be surprised if her license to teach is revoked entirely also. At least they could do it would be. But also wouldn't be surprised if, if some other private school in Florida was like come over here. We. You actually, you fit in right over here, Miss Girl.

[Kid Fury]

But they're onto something, baby.

[Crystal]

Let me just say this. As a 63 year old, you probably a veteran teacher. I'm sure these kids are on your nerves, okay? And I know they musty as shit too. It's middle school. I know they smell terrible. It's the end of the school year, everybody's attention. Spanish shot, you know it. I, I'm sure these kids was on your nerves. I don't doubt that. I do not doubt that for you though as a white woman, but really any race of teacher to string up a black doll like it's being lynched and hanging there in the front of the classroom like you have to have better control over your behaviors than that. Sorry. You can't be that mad at these kids. You can't be that frustrated at these children. You have to have better control over yourself than that. To try over and over again to get the doll over the tv. And then once you do get it, lower it down to like really send the mess. Like yeah, like I'mma string one of

[Kid Fury]

your black 18 year old.

[Crystal]

Right, right.

[Kid Fury]

Going.

[Crystal]

It feels wrong. It feels like you probably shouldn't do it, child. Noah said while she was lowering the doll. I thought I, I should probably record this so that I have proof that she did it. I need evidence so she don't get away with it. And went straight to school administrator.

[Kid Fury]

Hold my arc, bitch. I got something for you.

[Crystal]

And so now you've been fired at the end of the goddamn school year, girl. Word for what she has been reported to the Florida Department of Education, Office of Professional Practice Services. Practice services. I Should say we'll see if the state of Florida decides to allow her to continue to. Right, right. So don't hold your breath. But it's just really crazy that in 2026 we still have white teachers thinking that this is an appropriate thing to do. Like, right. I know when. If my child has sent me a video talking about, look what my teacher did. Oh, no, I won't rest till my foot is up your ass.

[Kid Fury]

Torture pitchforks and tortures.

[Crystal]

Flames on the. On the sides of your face.

[Kid Fury]

This remind me of that episode of Boondocks where the white teacher said nigga.

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah.

[Kid Fury]

On the news. Like I said nigga. Cause he said nigga. What's up, my nigga?

[Crystal]

Like, the kids say it all the time n this nigga. That, like, that was hilarious. You know, Miss Lady, I don't know.

[Kid Fury]

And it was making fun of me.

[Crystal]

Right. It's just like, everybody knows that adolescents are assholes. They're the worst in middle school is such a challenge. Those kids are going through a lot of changes. It's the end of the year. I know. This is the thing. I have empathy because I know them kids was on your nerves. However, stringing up a black doll should have been. It should not have even crossed your mind as something to do, baby. It should not have even occurred to you as a thing to do.

[Kid Fury]

And you talking about. She went for it too.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

One more time.

[Crystal]

Like she couldn't get it at first. Right. Right. She saw that black doll and her phone cord and she concocted a plan. Yeah. We're gonna take your job and we're gonna go ahead and take your license as well. Damn. And you were so sick. You probably have to. You probably have to give up all of your little pension or whatever retirement benefits you was gonna get. You probably have to give all that up.

[Kid Fury]

Cause you got fired out here like any other maga support like Klarno and Bread.

[Crystal]

Don't worry.

[Kid Fury]

I mean, it's not like teachers make that much money.

[Crystal]

I mean. No, but watch. She'll be on. She'll have a GoFundMe up, and she'll be at the White House in two or three weeks.

[Kid Fury]

For sure. For sure.

[Crystal]

And this teacher was simply exercising her rights as an American citizen to lynch black baby dolls. If you can't lynch black dolls in the classroom, then where can you do it? Like, like, they f. To bend over themselves to make this an okay thing to do when like, imagine teenagers being like, man, this looks racist. I just feel like, yeah, this is. As an adult you probably shouldn't. And she was like, eat my dick. Like, okay, all right.

[Kid Fury]

What the fuck? I'm telling on you, Florida.

[Crystal]

I'm telling.

[Kid Fury]

Yes. This isn't. You've lost your mind. The 50s or whatever the fuck.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Kid Fury]

We all have video cameras, right? And I'm telling.

[Crystal]

Yeah. And I'm telling. So shout out to that baby for pulling out his phone because a lot of people probably just would not have believed it or this would have blown over if he did not take the video that he did. So shout out to that baby for doing the right thing. Yeah. And you won't have to worry about that teacher. I mean, you was gonna get a sub anyway. But she won't be in charge of no more young black minds. God only knows how much shit she done got away with over the years in the classroom because kids didn't have their phones out or whatever. Like you. You really a hateful. You don't have no business working with children.

[Kid Fury]

So she needs to be investigated.

[Crystal]

Yeah, she really does.

[Kid Fury]

She needs to be on surveillance because that's wild.

[Crystal]

Yeah. I want y' all to go in. Go look at her house. Go. She got a cellar. Go, go. I want to see what's in her cellar. That is weird.

[Kid Fury]

A couch she's working on.

[Crystal]

That's what I'm saying. She got all them little Sambo dolls. I bet she got a bunch of this. Yeah, I bet you she do. Anyway, that lady and. Yeah, I think that's gonna wrap up this week's episode of the Read. Check us out on social media at. This is the Read. Our website is. This is the read.com Crystal's couch, available wherever you get your favorite podcast. Follow us at crystalscouch. Any other news or announcements from you,

[Kid Fury]

Kid Fury, please go and check out my podcast, Furious Thoughts. Furious thoughtspod on Instagram. You can find it pretty much on all your socials. You can hear the podcast and all your podcast platforms and you can watch the podcast on YouTube.com kidfurytv go check it out. Go show them some love this week. Stevie Mackie is on the pod. Had a great good old singing ass time with him. Even did a warmup where he complimented my voice. Sort of.

[Crystal]

Oh, wow.

[Kid Fury]

He said, I have perfect pitch.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Kid Fury]

So if you wanna hear me get to singing, go check that out. Also, I have a live show here in Los Angeles next week, June 3, 2026. You can go to instagram.com kafiri hit my bio if you want tickets to that. That it's going to be very special. It's going to be lots of fun. So lots, lots of reed branches here for you to go check out.

[Crystal]

Yes, indeed.

[Kid Fury]

I mean, we need all the distraction we can get.

[Crystal]

All right, y' all take care of yourselves and be good. We will. See y' all next week.

[Kid Fury]

Don't forget to spay and neuter your spouses. There's only one Ozempic. Hello, I'm Ozempic and I'm other GLP1s kind of like him. Ozempic. You redid your jingle? Ah, thanks for noticing. Catchy, right? No. Okay then, well ask your doctor about which FDA approved uses of me. The Ozempic pen may be right for you. Call 1-833-OZEMPIC or visit ozempic.com to view the medication guide and learn more about Ozempic. Semaglutide injection 2mg only Novo Nordisk makes FDA approved Ozempic.

[Crystal]

There's only one Ozempic.

[Kid Fury]

I told you it was catchy.

[Crystal]

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