Eddie Hood (0:00)

Sometimes I don't feel good about myself as a reader. Little thoughts slither into my brain and they destroy my motivation. So I want to talk today about those thoughts because they're normal and many of you are feeling them as well. Let's get into it. Welcome to this week's episode of the Read well podcast. My name is Eddie Hood and I'm your host, where I believe it's more important to read well than to be well read. So grab your favorite book, open up your notes, and let's get ready to learn something fascinating. Hey everybody. Welcome back to the Read well podcast. My name is Eddie Hood and I'm so grateful to be with you today. We're talking about something sensitive. I hope this is not too over the top, but I've noticed as I've gotten some messages from people in the community that you often feel a sense of overwhelm or dread when you're trying to read books. And there are these emotions that creep in to make you feel like you're not good enough, like you're getting behind. It creates a sense of weight or work in your life. And books should not do that. So I want to talk to you about how I also feel those same feelings and how I'm approaching them. Hopefully this will help out. Now, last week I got an email from a member in the community. This person's in a reading slump. And the email had the following statements. Number one, my reading practice has unraveled. Number two, I'm getting too far behind. Number three, I don't want to add to my schedule. And then a few days later, I got another message from a reader on Facebook. And that person said that reading felt heavy, quote unquote heavy. And in that message it said, my tbr, which stands for to be Read list, is feeling overwhelming. This person said, I'm not reading as many books as my friends. What's wrong with me? And then I often hear this all the time. I'm not retaining what I read and it feels like a waste of time. So again, I have felt these emotions and more and today I want to talk about why they happen and how to give yourself some grace as a reader. Like despite the mental struggle, I I'm going to make the argument that reading offers the best path to fulfillment and that sitting with a book is worth the effort. Let's start by acknowledging the fact that you are pre wired to compare. So as a human, it's in your nature to compare yourself to others. It's what we do. That spirit of competition. It's a good thing. It's the driving force behind every improvement we've ever made as a species. But it's also mentally draining. It's fatiguing. Maybe that's a better word. As readers, we compare ourselves to other readers, especially those super readers on YouTube who claim to be reading 100 or 200 books a year. So if you love reading, it's very natural to compare your bookish habits with theirs. And when you do, you're likely going to feel bad about yourself. There's this toxic playground called BookTube that exists for one reason. Content. So YouTube creators, and I know because I'm one of them, need to create content to stay relevant. They have to make sensationalized videos to get and keep your attention. And in reality, most of those booktubers don't read the books they claim to enjoy. I know again, because I talk with them all the time. They don't have the time. Instead, they review book summaries, they scan GoodRead reviews, and they often rely on ChatGPT to tell them what these books are actually about. Think about it. Put yourself in their shoes. To be a successful YouTuber, you need to publish at least one video a week. Creating and editing videos takes a lot of time. Again, trust me, I know. There's not enough time left for them to be reading these five or ten books a week or whatever they're claiming. It's a really unsettling model, in my opinion, and it accomplishes very little other than making you feel bad about your own reading accomplishments. So look, next time you feel that competition kicking in, try not to get frustrated. It's normal. It's an absolutely normal feeling. Also, please acknowledge that we're all on separate reading paths and what matters is how you engage with the book, not how other people are managing to do it better or worse than you. The second feeling that sort of creeps into my brain, at least when I'm reading books, is this overwhelming sense that I'm sort of being buried by my reading goals. It's very normal to feel overwhelmed as a reader. So there are too many books to read and the dang publishers keep making more books each year. I jest. I love new books. But every time I go into a bookstore, there are more and more books that I want to read. And when I go, I am just filled with wonder and I buy more books than I need. I'm excited about everyone. But when I bring them home, I add them to the TBR pile, the to be read pile, and and that weight Settles in on my shoulders. Why on earth did I buy more books when I already have 20 waiting to be read? Great. Now I have 25 books waiting to be read. I have to work through them. And do you feel that it's that sense that reading has just become work instead of a curiosity or a pleasure. It's another chore on the to do list of life. And that's not good. We don't want reading to be that nagging voice in our heads. So look, know that the feeling of overwhelm is normal. We all feel it, and it seems to intensify when other areas of our lives are under stress. I found it helps to admit that I'm not going to read all of these books. Sure, I'd love to, but life is short and the list continues to grow. The moment I accept my own limitations, I feel better. In fact, that gives me permission to stop reading boring books. I am grateful for the books in my life, and I'm also fine if I never get to all of them. It's okay. Take a deep breath. My goal is to be purposeful when I read and to be grateful for the chance to do so. I. I always think about how people, even just a few decades ago, weren't educated enough or didn't have the time to read because they had to spend their entire life working in the field or in the factories. I get to read. It's not a chore and it's not a pressing wait. If I die today, my to be read list will be just fine without me. So yes, let go of that need to try and read all of these books before you die. The moment you accept that's not going to happen, some sense of freedom starts to fill you and you feel more on purpose with the books you are going to read. Now, the third emotion I feel I think is probably the worst one. I call this the boogeyman of self criticism. It really is an evil feeling. And when I read, it's common for me at least to have negative thoughts about myself. These, like ideas start popping into my head. Am I good enough to read this book? Am I getting what it's teaching? Am I going to even be able to apply this stuff? It seems too complicated. And my brain starts firing off. Nope, nope, nope. You're not getting it. You're not keeping up with it. You're never going to retain this. Why are you wasting time on this? I start having all of those thoughts now. I don't know why, but I often doubt myself. You know, what am I doing reading hard books? Am I an imposter? If I read Play doh. Wouldn't it be easier just to pick up my phone and play a game or watch Netflix? But I know better Now. Here's my Stuart Smalley moment. If you've ever watched Saturday Night Live, he's the one that would say, I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it people like me for me. I am good enough. I am smart enough, and doggone it, I am not a poser for reading this book. But look, all jokes aside, it is normal to beat yourself up. I'm historically a very positive person, but I still get after myself. We all criticize ourselves for how we look, for how we're performing, and absolutely how we're fitting into society. I'm no different. And I'm guessing you're not either. So again, know that when you're reading a book, it's absolutely normal to feel self critical. Just do your best to acknowledge the criticism for what it is. It's some kind of neurological wiring designed to help you survive in a dangerous world. Just know it's that and then let it go. You're not in danger. Nobody cares if you're attempting to read Aristotle on your lunch break. In fact, they might actually think it's pretty cool. And yes, you are capable of understanding any book with enough time and patience. We have been told to read faster, to be more efficient. That's why we're not understanding books, we're pushing through them too quickly. Any book can be beneficial in your life if you give it the time to do its job. That's why we read slowly, take notes, and apply the ideas around here. That's the mantra. That's what we do. So you're not broken for having self critical thoughts. You're just normal. Here's my commitment to you. A while back I got a message from a member in the community that I was recommending too many books. This person pointed out that I'm not living up to my own mantra. He did it very kindly. He's just a wonderful, beautiful person. But he pointed out in jest, hey, you're not living up to your own mantra. How can you possibly be reading solely if you're recommending new books on your podcast, in your newsletter, and so on. And to that I say touche. He's absolutely right. I mean, why was I making so many recommendations? Well, it's because I too, as a creator, felt the need to stay relevant and to try and hold your attention. I had this belief of this, I was lying to myself. You know, I was thinking that I needed to give you new books to keep you interested in the work I'm doing here. And I've realized that's not the case. It's more important that we apply what we're learning. And so I'm changing my tactic in 2025. Now I'm only recommending one book a month. That's it. All my content, the podcasts, the YouTube videos, the newsletters, et cetera for that month will pull valuable lessons from the recommendation. So together we're going to explore great works slowly and in depth. In January, I recommended Deep Work by Cal Newport. This is a book that changed how I interface with doing quality work. It's directly responsible for helping me escape that shallowness of meaningless emails and pointless projects so that I can focus on what matters. Now know we're headed into February and I'm excited to share the next recommendation with you. So for the coming month, drum roll, please. I would like to recommend a fantastic book by Sarah Bakewell. It's titled how to Live or A Life of Montana. Now it's a series of 20 powerful essays designed to answer one question, how to Live. This is a book that dives into the life of that 16th century French essayist, Michel de Montaigne. I love this guy. I've talked about him a lot for several reasons. He is sort of credited with bring bringing the essay to life. He's sort of that. That originator of the essay, and many of you might not like him for that because you had to write essays in high school. I personally love essays, especially ones that are written really well. And for whatever reason, Montana's essays, even though they're from the 16th century, still resonate today. Now I know why, actually. It's because he's one of the few writers who gets rid of the smoke screen, who's not trying to look fancy in front of you. He talks about real problems, things that are working life, things that aren't working in his life, what it's like to be human. He. He just really is honest and open about everything, the embarrassing stuff, the hard stuff. He's human on paper. And so that makes you as a reader feel human in life. Now, Sarah Bakewell's book is nice because it's a gentle way, sort of an easier way of exploring Montaigne's essays without committing to the original work, which by the way, is over 1300 pages. So if after reading Bakewell's book, you find yourself interested Montana and you want to dig in? Well then yeah, go out and get the copy of the complete works. It's one of my favorite things in my library, but it definitely is a very large book. Bakewell's is much easier to consume and enjoy. Now quickly, why am I recommending this book for February? Well, on page 151 she quotes the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, who said of Montaigne, he is the freest and mightiest of souls. That such a man wrote has truly augmented the joy of living on this this earth. Again. Montanus essays have survived because he was fascinated with the weirdness of himself. He wrote authentically without that smoke and mirror stuff I was talking about. And he really just gets down to an honest sort of this is what it's like to be human conversation. It's kind of like holding a mirror up to your own life, seeing the same challenges, and then finding a wise friend to help you get through them. Now, if you'd like to pick up a copy of Sarah Bakel's book How to Live or A Life of Montana, I absolutely sell that at my bookstore, edgewaterbookstore.com you can pick it up there along with a bunch of other fun, crazy stuff that I've added for the month of February. Go check that out if you get Just a minute now. I hope today's episode wasn't too much. I wanted to open up to anyone who feels the same way I do. I love reading. It's a skill I've tried to improve throughout my life. But that that doesn't mean it's not hard. At times, I struggle with all the same internal woes that we talked about today. Does that mean I should stop reading? Absolutely not. Books have given me a life I'm proud of. I use them to navigate college and my career, to raise a family with some amazing kiddos and a wonderful wife that is the center of my life. I've used books to launch businesses, to chase my dreams, and so on. For me, books are the best possible way to to find and center yourself. So yes, even though reading sometimes feels like a chore, it is worth it. Pick up a book, give yourself some grace. When you have those feelings, acknowledge them, let them leave, and then start again on page one until next week. As always, remember to read slowly, take notes and apply the ideas. Thanks everyone. If you'd like to take your reading to the next level, then head on over to to thereadwellpodcast.com there you'll find daily posts on how to read well, you'll also get access to all of my book notes and tools for becoming a better reader. And as always, don't forget to read slowly, take notes and apply the ideas. Thank you for listening to the Read well Podcast.