Keys to the Heart

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Read – "Keys to the Heart"

Date: November 6, 2025
Hosts: Kid Fury & Crissle
Podcast: The Read (Loud Speakers Network)

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Main Theme and Overview

In "Keys to the Heart," Kid Fury and Crissle bring their signature sharp humor and unfiltered opinions to a jam-packed episode covering the week’s major political developments, messy celebrity drama, and listener letters loaded with real-life dilemmas. The duo unpacks the aftermath of major U.S. elections—especially in New York and Detroit—and then gleefully pivots to the chaos of pop culture, including the latest on Blueface, Nicki Minaj, Cardi B, and, as always, much-needed on-air therapy about New York City living. Throughout, they celebrate historic wins, roast problematic faves, and offer heartfelt (and hilarious) advice to listeners.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Elections, Hope, and the State of New York Politics

Timestamps: ~01:25–14:00

• Celebration of Progressive Wins: Both hosts express joy and relief at New York City's mayoral victory for Zoran Mamdani, emphasizing his immigrant background, youth, and progressive values.
  • "That 34 year old socialist is the mayor. Good night." —Kid Fury [10:36]
• Rejecting Bigoted Narratives: They blast Islamophobia in campaign messaging and praise voter turnout, especially among women and minorities.
• Other Notable Wins:
  • Detroit elects its first Black woman mayor, Mary Sheffield.
    • “This is the first woman, period, black green, black indigo. The first woman ever to be the mayor in the city of Detroit.” —Crissle [14:23]
  • California and Virginia also see historic changes with progressive candidates winning elections.

2. Drag of Conservative Hypocrisy & Celebrity Capers

Timestamps: 16:00–35:00

• Trump’s Influence: Both hosts ridicule the idea that "Trump wasn't on the ballot," placing blame for Republican losses on the former president’s continued presence and endorsement failures.
• Parental Neglect in Pop Culture:
  • Blueface & Chrisean Drama: The hosts lampoon the toxic public drama between Blueface and his baby mamas, expressing genuine concern for their children’s futures.
    • “Just as toxic, twice as ugly. Bye.” —Crissle [21:32]
• Diddy in Prison:
  • Kid Fury skewers reports of Diddy bragging about a Trump pardon while behind bars and questions his generosity towards inmates:
    • "He doesn’t even send his artists money. Why would he send you any?" —Kid Fury [25:06]

3. Nicki Minaj, Fan Wars, and Twitter Spaces

Timestamps: 28:00–35:00

• Nicki Minaj’s Trump Support: The episode dissects Nicki’s viral Twitter Spaces rant shutting down criticism of Trump, causing a rift with some of her core fans (“the Barbs”).
  • “She is full throated Goblin Trump. Do y’all see it? You can’t ignore it.” —Crissle [35:20]
• Celebrity Social Media Circus: Both hosts question why female rappers like Nicki and Cardi engage in messy online spaces:
  • Kid Fury: “Get her off of [Twitter Spaces]. What do they get out of that?” [28:23]

4. Cardi B and Offset: Messy Breakups & Lawsuits

Timestamps: 38:00–55:00

• Cardi’s New Baby & Relationship Rumors: Cardi B is reportedly expecting a boy with Stefon Diggs, leading to offset’s petty musical diss (“How the fuck you leave Jordan for Rodman? You a fool” —Offset lyric [43:22]).
• Offset's Legal Issues: Discussion covers Offset’s string of assault lawsuits at a dispensary and a strip club, questioning his anger management:
  • “Why do you love hitting strangers so much? You need to get that under control.” —Crissle [50:52]
• Real Talk about ID Checks (Comic Relief): An extended, hilarious riff on showing ID everywhere from dispensaries to airports, and why Offset’s refusal is absurd.

5. Sports Shade: MLB Mocks Drake

Timestamps: 57:25–62:30

• Dodgers vs. Blue Jays: The Dodgers’ World Series win sparks AI-memed ridicule of Drake by Major League Baseball’s official account, featuring Kendrick Lamar running over Drake in a mock image.
  • “No, bitch. MLB on Fox. No, the league. Oh, that’s too much.” —Kid Fury [59:39]
• Drake’s Rough Weekend: Mention of a lawsuit implicating him in “bot” streaming number inflation; general consensus: “Let him get up.”

6. Church Scandal: The Roberta McCoy Saga

Timestamps: 62:35–70:00

• Church Betrayal: Roberta McCoy, a churchwoman previously shamed for a $1,200 donation, posts a heartfelt Facebook update revealing she was used and abandoned for PR cover.
• Support & Critique: Both hosts offer empathy for Roberta and level scathing criticism at megachurches’ lack of compassion:
  • “You never should have even been pushed or placed in a position to speak up for that nigga.” —Crissle [66:25]
  • “This is not Christlike.” —Crissle [67:26]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “New York will always be that bitch. The spirit and soul of New York is not wrapped up in the wallets of billionaires.” —Kid Fury [10:08]
• “It's just so weird, girl. Like, that’s where you're going?” —Crissle on Nicki Minaj’s Trump endorsement [32:38]
• “Go ahead and send me my money. Yes, immediately.” —Crissle, on using incriminating evidence to extract overdue child support [92:29]
• “You can’t take that out on the MedMen security guard, everybody can’t. You're full for that.” —Crissle, on Offset’s dispensary fight [50:09]
• “Noise is one I think that is tricky because you are human, you're a human being and I think for a lot of people you probably can just get used to it… but I don't know that that is going to be the case with something as… loud as a piano in a one bedroom.” —Kid Fury, in the letters segment [98:24]

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Letters Segment Highlights

Timestamps: 73:31–110:21

• Gay Crush Dilemma: Listener Tyler chronicles falling for his (allegedly) straight coworker. Both hosts give gentle but clear advice to move on, noting the universal trope of queer folks falling for "straight friends."
• Child Support Blackmail: Listener Mona asks if it’s ethical to use evidence of her conservative, homophobic, deadbeat ex’s secret life on Reddit to ensure child support payments. Hosts: “Is it wrong? Not in my world.” [89:58]
• Marriage & Piano Problems: Amelia writes in about her husband’s incessant, tuneless piano banging in their shared one-bedroom. Advice: buy piano lessons as a gift, and if not, plot to return the piano to the former owner.

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Important Timestamps & Segments

• Victory for Progressives, New York/Detroit races: 01:25–14:00
• Nicki Minaj/Trump Rant: 28:00–35:00
• Blueface & Chrisean Riots: 19:04–23:18
• Offset, Cardi B, Stefon Diggs drama: 38:04–55:00
• MLB Dragging Drake: 57:25–62:30
• Roberta McCoy/Church Hurt: 62:35–70:41
• Letters (Gay crush, blackmail, marital piano): 73:31–110:21

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Closing Reads & Rants

• Media Critique: Kid Fury scolds listeners for letting algorithms and social media trends shape their artistic tastes instead of genuinely exploring culture and entertainment.
• Lala Anthony & Political Endorsements: Crissle skewers Lala Anthony and other celebrities for careless endorsements in politics—especially Lala’s now-deleted Instagram support for Andrew Cuomo.
• Red State Invites: Crissle rebuffs invitations for New Yorkers to flee to "freedom" in red states, celebrating NYC’s diversity and resilience in the face of conservative shade.

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Episode Tone

As always, the tone is a uniquely sharp, witty blend of roast, affirmation, and genuine support for Black excellence, everyday people, and anyone tired of the status quo. Kid Fury and Crissle's rapport is energetic and direct, sliding easily from slapstick to serious.

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Memorable Moment

• Redirecting HotGirlsForCuomo.com: Listeners learn that the “Hot Girls for Cuomo” URL was bought up and now redirects to a 168-page AG’s report on Cuomo’s sexual assault allegations—a perfect example of the internet’s pettiness and power. [122:13]

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Final Note

The episode showcases everything The Read is loved for: razor-sharp political commentary, hilarious pop culture draggings, and a big-hearted dedication to community, authenticity, and the unapologetic celebration of Black life—warts and all.

Transcript

[A]

Ah, the sounds of an Etsy holiday.

[B]

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[A]

For gifts that say I get, you shop Etsy. Avoiding your unfinished home projects because you're not sure where to start. Thumbtack knows homes, so you don't have to. Don't know the difference between matte paint, finish and satin or what that clunking sound from your dryer is. With Thumbtack, you don't have to be a home pro, you just have to hire one. You can hire top rated pros, see price estimates and read reviews all on the app download today. Well, hello there. Welcome back. Welcome to November specifically. How you doing? Doesn't matter. I'm a firestarter and I am twisted fire starter.

[B]

Oh, okay. I don't know what that is. And I am so happy to be a New Yorker today. Hooty.

[A]

Hooty should be.

[B]

And this is the read. Well, California did some good things as well.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I was going to get into that, but let's just first discuss, you know, shout out to hope in these trying times.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And shout out to the. The branches that God will extend to you.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

If you just keep your head high and trust him. So, yes, first of all, shout out to the girlies who were like, you know what, I'm tired and got out to do their voting thing. And Charlotte out to the Democrats gathering things together. And also specifically delightful for me some places meeting the girls at a petty level in a way that is just extremely necessary. So I think like that the center of a lot of the Democratic, like the party idea and conversation and movement has kind of been right there in the city of New York.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, for obvious reasons, it's just so special.

[A]

And yeah, I was very invested. Although I don't live there anymore, I was invested in it for the city of New York and for the bigger picture. And so I'm very glad that throughout all of the messy and often hilarious hijinks of this election, you know, here we are in the truth of God's light.

[B]

Yeah. Amen. I saw a Cuomo truck yesterday that said you accuse us of being Islamophobic. We just don't want to see another 911 or whatever. And I'm like, so you doubled down.

[A]

On this Islam for you then. So that's what we're.

[B]

I literally had. I was like, I feel like you bitches have lost the plot. Like you slacked jaws. They could not lost eyes, baby. When I tell you, Zorad beat that ass. He beat that ass. He whooped that ass. So much so that I think sweating. Even Sliwa's votes added to Cuomo still did not equal to what Mamdani brought in.

[A]

It wasn't gonna happen.

[B]

I think they said he's the first candidate to get over a million million votes since like 1968 or something crazy.

[A]

Like Jesus, my God.

[B]

We're simply tired of the status quo. Andrew Cuomo was going to be nothing but Eric Adams part two, except even worse. So no, thank you, girl. We actually do want an affordable city. We actually do want immigrants to feel like they're welcome at home here, because they are. Wouldn't you know it, New York ain't shit without immigrants. America ain't shit without immigrants. Yes, they're welcome here.

[A]

Like, how dare you try to bypass the very living necessity, insane and functioning quality that the Muslim community imparted on New York. The Islamophobia has been so bad. It's just so stupid.

[B]

It's been so bad. Debra Messing posted 96 stories on her Instagram the other day. It's something wrong with that picture.

[A]

I don't have any Grace.

[B]

I'm starting to feel like she on grace. That Nicki Minaj, she was reposting Trump. I'm like, girl, are you. Have you. Nikki, Deborah mess. Well, Nick, Nikki is.

[A]

Yeah, we're getting to that.

[B]

We're getting to her. But Deborah Messing posted Trump on her stories.

[A]

Yeah, I'm sure she's fully in.

[B]

What?

[A]

In that bag. But now's the time.

[B]

Yeah, Gone and reveal yourself.

[A]

Cuz this president is such a capitalist and so like, would you like some money?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Would you like a bit of money?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Would you like a.

[B]

How bad do you want it? Yeah, yeah, it's very much what you do for it.

[A]

It's very much. She's turned it into Shark Tank and the country. And so then, you know, a lot more of the girlies are like, oh, I like this bitch.

[B]

Yeah, it's pretty gross.

[A]

So I think it has just empowered more Republicans and horrible people to be like, yeah, he's tea. Because other girls, it gives, you know, like the, that metaphor of like the penguins that stand at the end of the ice and they all look at that water together and then as soon as one jumps, they're like, oh, okay.

[B]

Oh, so it is all right.

[A]

Okay, fine.

[B]

Forgot we were built for this. Like, yes. It's a weird thing that's going. You can kind of see whose morals really fall where. Because A lot of people can talk certain game, but when shit really comes down to it, they capitulate to those in power. And I'm just so happy. So I'm just thrilled to be in New York. I woke Lainey up dancing. She didn't give one hot nut fuck. Went right back to bed. She was like. She was like, my New York is the same regardless. You have a responsibility, right? Like, anyway, you're gonna pick up my poopies no matter what.

[A]

And when I say it's bedtime, it's time. Like, it doesn't matter.

[B]

Oh, baby. And this fall back bullshit. Y' all can miss her with that. She don't give a fuck about none of that either.

[A]

You ain't a bad.

[B]

It's not enough for her to have two beds and a crate. That's not enough. She needs me to come get in the bed with her. It's not like exactly, but you could just literally go to sleep in any room of this house that you wanted to.

[A]

That's not how this works. Get your black ass.

[B]

Get up right. She legit will have an attitude. I was on FaceTime with Adrienne and Terry the other day. It's like 9:30pm A normal time for an adult to be awake. This bitch came and walked directly on top of the computer and then turned around and showed her pussy to my friends on FaceTime.

[A]

That's for you. You can have this.

[B]

They were like, do we have to go? I'm like, no, no, dammit. I'm a grownup and she don't get to bully me.

[A]

She ate the MacBook.

[B]

Yes. This was after she ate the MacBook.

[A]

I love it. Crazy.

[B]

I said, no.

[A]

Cause one thing about it, the time is for now.

[B]

I'm a grown up, damn it. And if I want to stay up late, then I can do that.

[A]

You said, I don't care about that.

[B]

You just go to sleep. You can just go to sleep. You can go in another room and go to sleep.

[A]

Especially female dogs.

[B]

Oh yeah. She didn't give a fuck. She didn't give a fuck.

[A]

I was just saying this to a friend a couple days ago. Like, female dogs are a bit more like, you can't tell me nothing. And she was like, oh, like Jill Scott. Like, if you can tell me nothing, you can't tell me.

[B]

Right?

[A]

But if you like.

[B]

Yes. It's very much that energy.

[A]

I think she ate, but she got.

[B]

Which she. I mean, it's very. And I mean, yeah, a lot of girls like to be dominated by men who. Or masculine People or whatever with that kind of energy. Like that's very common. But whatever, whatever, you know, you let the girls have their things.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So yeah, Lainey was less enthused than I would have liked. But I mean, when I tell you over the moon, I'm just so happy for this city. We are moving in the right direction as usual. And for everybody talking about they gonna leave, please do.

[A]

Oh my God, go, please go.

[B]

I actually can't whole in New York.

[A]

And experiences the threat of some stranger New York bitch being like, I'm leaving.

[B]

And goes, oh no, not Bill Ackman. Oh no, you can go, sweetie.

[A]

Less traffic, less urine.

[B]

I mean, and more of people who actually vibe with the city being here. If you don't like the way New York works, go somewhere else. Every other state in this country is packed full of cities and towns that will align with whatever you believe in. Whatever you want it to look like. This is the one, bitch. Us in la. This is it where you get like.

[A]

You can't get the best pizza in in the country. Well, four o' clock in the morning.

[B]

Well, that's two. Do those people even eat anyway? Like, well, do they even really eat?

[A]

Well, yes, because they are drunk at that time and they are the ones putting urine in the street and they want to soak that up.

[B]

I said, oh, please leave.

[A]

I don't get with a slice.

[B]

Everybody's like, oh, they not really gonna leave. Studies show that the rich people stay, which is true, they do. But let them go. You cooler people will come here instead of you. New York will always be that bitch. The spirit and soul of New York is not wrapped up in the wallets of billionaires.

[A]

They will never be short of people moving.

[B]

Never. So just go then, bitch. You can leave.

[A]

You can leave.

[B]

It's eight and a half million of us. We're not gonna miss you. Goodbye. Goodbye.

[A]

That 34 year old socialist is the mayor. Good night.

[B]

Period.

[A]

It is what you want. It is it.

[B]

That man is the man not what you want. New York City's first immigrant mayor, which is.

[A]

And now that the dust is settled, I'll just go ahead and say it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Also good looking as fuck. Shannon is fine.

[B]

He's so cute. He is. You know what? He's cute. Like Kendrick Lamar is cute. Like he's adorable. When he smiles, his whole face lights up and he just has this really genuine warm energy. And he's cute. He's nice to look at. Yes, he is.

[A]

He used to be a rapper. So there's that. I love It.

[B]

Well, and he did a. He did one of those, like, man on the street interviews where somebody was like, what would you have deleted from the Internet if you could delete anything? And he was like, there is this video of me rapping shirtless in a food truck. And I do kind of feel like, in hindsight, I could have put a shirt on, you know, like, he's adorable.

[A]

No, he didn't need to do that.

[B]

He's an adorable man with excellent politics. His transition. His mayoral transition team, they just announced them a few hours ago. All women all ready to beat ass. Like, I'm.

[A]

It's just like, there's no.

[B]

I love it here.

[A]

I love it. I love it here.

[B]

I'm never leaving.

[A]

And another part of the reason I've been so invested is because I do believe that his. His message, his policy, all of those things.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All are a threat to the enemy. Not just because of him implementing them, but the possibility of him implementing them. And then people being like, oh, this completely works. Yeah, this is tea.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Wait, so what's your problem? And then, like, they can't gas up the yacht.

[B]

Yeah. So.

[A]

So I'm. I'm all for it. January 1st, I'm also for New May. The California girlies not only coming out to vote, but also being like, so you wanna play musical chairs?

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Cause it seems like you wanted to play musical chairs.

[B]

You wanna draw lines around with our things.

[A]

Hmm.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

Oh, well, I have crayons. I have a couple mechanical pencils. I have an eraser. So let's draw.

[B]

Yeah. Virginia saying, why don't we just clean house and flip? Like, 12 Senate seats. The governor, lieutenant governor, associate governor, backup governor, all of them niggas. Let's just go ahead and round it all up. Upstate New York, I think we got two black female mayors in Albany and somewhere else, I think Detroit elected a black woman as mayor.

[A]

Like Mary Sheffield.

[B]

It's been.

[A]

She's my black excellence.

[B]

Oh, look at this.

[A]

I mean, we're just doing it.

[B]

Look at the old alignment here. But it's just been. That was a very good day for American politics after we had a really horrible one last November. So I'm. I'm quite pleased. And Crystal's couch is coming out on Tuesday the 11th.

[A]

Look at November on 11.

[B]

11. Yes. Trailers.

[A]

11. Oh, no, that's two. 11.

[B]

Come on, Brandy.

[A]

There.

[B]

Yes. So I'm very excited.

[A]

Congrats.

[B]

Thank you. Thank you, thank you. A trailer should be hitting your podcast feeds within the next couple of days. So go subscribe and Etc. But, yeah, it's not about me. It's about Mom, Donnie and all the other incredible victories that happened. Like our black excellence in Detroit. You like that segue, Mary?

[A]

Yes. That works. That was seamless.

[B]

Thank you so much.

[A]

So the good Mary Sheffield, Detroit City Council President, period. One point. Is now the mayor of Detroit, officially. She made history just yesterday, here, November 4th, and became the first woman to ever be elected mayor in the city of Detroit. 322 years. This is the first woman, period, black green, black indigo. The first woman ever to be the mayor in the city of Detroit. She is beautiful, black queen of the Democratic Party, and says she defeated Solomon Kinloch Jr. With 77% of the vote. The girls were like, not only are we coming to vote. Move. Like, get out of our way.

[B]

Move out.

[A]

Dwayne, I'm tired.

[B]

Correct. Exactly.

[A]

Higher. So, yes. Also in her 30s, 38 years old. She celebrated Tuesday night at the MGM grand in Detroit. Said, I'm told it was the largest margin in the history of the city of Detroit. At your black titties. I feel like today was a mandate by our city. Everyone is going to have a seat at the table with this administration. I know the girlies are quaking in their.

[B]

Well, I mean, the people can see what's happening. It makes sense that they don't fucking like it. Trump said all these losses were because Trump wasn't on the ballot. Yes, you were, bitch bastard. Yes, you were. People see how things are going under your administration, under your tyranny, and they want the exact opposite of that.

[A]

All these losses were because Trump was not on the ballot. Trump was involved in damn near every.

[B]

Oh, yeah. In person. People left and right, like, girl, you were very much a part of this. In fact, want more of it.

[A]

Trump's involvement in some campaigns really impacted those people's losses.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah. I heard J.D. vance's brother was running for something in Ohio and lost. Bad. Real bad. I don't know if it was city council or something like that, but he got his ass whooped after J.D. vance endorsed him. Like, yeah, yeah, people don't like this. We don't like y'.

[A]

All.

[B]

Y' all stole this election. I don't have no proof, but I really believe y' all stole this last election. I. Well, I mean, Elon said it, and.

[A]

Then you were like, you know what, Sydney, sweetie needs new jeans.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

So cut off the snap.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Fuck Medicare.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Fuck sidewalks. Because, listen, we have to be rich.

[B]

The government has been shut down countless times. We don't do Cutting off Snap. That's what has never fucking happened. Y' all going too far with being depraved, with being evil people. Don't fuck with it. We are almost all of us want kids to eat. Like we. We want kids to eat. Sue us. We do.

[A]

This is going to be my responsibility. But I would like them have like, yes, you know, the pyramid.

[B]

Even, like, even regardless of politics, like ev. I don't care if those kids have Trump parents. They. That's not they fault.

[A]

They have to klarna the store brand cereal.

[B]

Come on. Yeah. No, people are legit doing buy now, pay later.

[A]

Scramble of eggs.

[B]

Yes. For groceries. Like, shit is so bad. It's that fucking bad. And then he was like, oh, well, maybe half the food stamps, maybe not. You stupid turd. Cut the shit back on. Quit fucking playing.

[A]

And that list anyway. You think that they ain't forgot that list?

[B]

We haven't forgot. That's why y' all won't swear in old girl from Arizona or whatever, because she's the last vote. They need to go ahead and release the Epstein files.

[A]

So you want the kids to be hungry and measles stricken and then also trafficked, but men are gagging when the. The. The. The. You know, yeah, whatever portion of the American people are like, anyway, what else you got? I'm not eating that.

[B]

So, yeah, anyway, girl, you were on the ballot and the people said, no fucking thank you, just like I believe we did in 2024. I just cannot do nothing about it. But yes, congratulations to her. First woman, first female mayor in Detroit since Detroit.

[A]

Well, time for some hot tops. And speaking of things that I can't do anything about, Blueface is out of prison, and I think it's been less than a week. I already want them to come get him. Yeah, take him back. Take him back.

[B]

How bad?

[A]

Well, he came out and, you know, first thing I want to know is, how do you get out of prison? Ugly. Well, why did you let them draw all of this shit on your face?

[B]

Oh, no, he got new tattoos.

[A]

He has all of them.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

There. Where there was a face, there is now the second to last page.

[B]

Oh, my God. Yes. He looked like a child scribbled all over him.

[A]

Thanksgiving, Lisa Frank. Ooh, it's giving Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

[B]

Lisa Frank said, first of all, how dare you? My designs are whimsical and fun. This.

[A]

This is really bad weapons.

[B]

Is that the MLB logo?

[A]

I have no idea what that man is doing.

[B]

It looks like the Major League Baseball logo.

[A]

I Wasn't interested in it. Regardless, it's yours.

[B]

No, it legit looks like Major League Baseball. In the middle of his forehead is Walgreens.

[A]

Maybe he loves baseball. Maybe he played.

[B]

He legit let somebody practice tattoos on him.

[A]

He looks fucking. Oh.

[B]

Oh, God. Yeah, he really looks terrible. Jesus.

[A]

Anyway, his baby mamas wanted him to see his kids anyway, so he was, I guess, at an arcade or something with his first baby mama, Jayden, and his kids. And then the other one, Chrisean, popped up to the play date or whatever, uninvited, unannounced, with her son, which pissed off the first baby mama, so she left and took her kids with her and cut the play date with dad short. And this just, I guess, sent negative reverberations down your Twitter feed or whatever, and I'm gonna let you guys know now. No, this is where the buck stops for me. I had, like. I'm not getting into a Chrisean blueface pool ever again in my life.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Ever again within my life. Just as toxic, twice as ugly. Bye. Bye.

[B]

Yeah, he did not look like he was. I wouldn't say he was cute before, but you could kind of see where he could be. He wasn't ugly before, and you could see it. You know, it might not be your cup of tea, but you could at least squint and see it now.

[A]

He look like a person.

[B]

That nigga is just. Yuck. Okay, so why would Chrisean pull up on the. Nevermind. I'm finna ask a question that does. There you go, have an answer.

[A]

Cause you are not her physician.

[B]

Chrisean is. There's a lot of things wrong with that girl, and that's been clear for a very long time. So actually, don't blame the first.

[A]

It's something wrong with Stewie. It's something wrong with Buffet's mama. All of them have issues.

[B]

Yeah, that first one. If. If. Well, because God only knows what type of time Chrisean showed up on. If she was under the influence or whatever else, I probably also would have collected my children and been like, you know, we're gonna have to do this some other time. You're gonna have to.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

Some other. Because how did she even know where they were? How did Chrisean even know where they were?

[A]

No. I don't know.

[B]

Had to be that nigga. How else?

[A]

Likely, right?

[B]

Why would you tell.

[A]

See, I have no idea.

[B]

All right, well.

[A]

And I'm not doing it.

[B]

Yeah, no, same. I'm absolutely not.

[A]

All of not. So you can pitch a show to Zeus, right?

[B]

This Is horrible parenting.

[A]

Kiss my ass.

[B]

I'm not supporting that. I'm not looking at it. There's something wrong with all these people. So, yeah, good luck to them kids. Imagine Blueface is your daddy. Chrisean is your mama. You have no hope.

[A]

You know, that child's first therapist is going to be. I knew this day would come.

[B]

I.

[A]

You didn't. You may not.

[B]

Chrisean Jr I've actually been waiting for you. I've been waiting. I've been waiting on you, baby. Come on, come on. Sit down on the big comfy couch. Let's. Let's talk.

[A]

Well, a nigger in rap who is not free of the prison system currently is one Sean Combs, who is at FCI Fort Dix in New Jersey, also big and Democrat right now. Jersey also said he might.

[B]

Oh, they did. They did indeed.

[A]

He's there to serve a prison sentence of four years after getting away. Scot free. I mean, well, you know, Scott, half free. Yeah, Scott, like almost free.

[B]

A very light punishment for the things you do.

[A]

Yeah, I agree. Since then, we have photos, very grainy photos of him on the yard or whatever with some other inmates huddled together. He looked like Peter Thomas and is giving 60 days in. And apparently, apparently he's been, you know, just mouthing off to allegedly. According to tmz.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It says Diddy is yapping about Trump pardoning him in early 2026.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

Sources inside the prison are also telling us he's letting fellow inmates know he will take care of them when he's pardoned and set free. Like how? Send him some money probably.

[B]

That's what I'm thinking. Send it to put something on their books.

[A]

You don't even send his artist money. Why would you send you any money?

[B]

Well, these people are keeping him alive while he's in prison, so.

[A]

Yeah, and when he's not, well, you.

[B]

Don'T want to piss off a bunch of niggas that have nothing to lose either.

[A]

I could see him because they'll what, get out six years later or whatever the fuck they do. Get out and have the strength, intuition, and fervor of an assassin, A trained killer.

[B]

Not necessarily. No, not that. But I could see him putting a few thousand dollars on these niggas books. I don't. I'm not thinking millions. No, he probably will like a little something something. That's.

[A]

They're probably coin them tiny to him.

[B]

Right. But massive to them. Yeah, I could see.

[A]

Get you a Lorna Doom.

[B]

Yeah, you went. You went in there and made friends. You started Smiling with all your teeth, looking at niggas right in their eyes, being friendly and cordial. Cause you need people on your side in there, don't you? You don't want no funny business.

[A]

I just don't know why you are running your mouth about a pardon that you haven't received. Especially a pardon that will allegedly come from one of the most demented back and forth, up and down, crazy ass presidents that's ever lived on this planet.

[B]

There is that. I mean, now that I can't. An answer.

[A]

He act like he know who you are, depending on which way the wind is blowing. Like he's gone back and forth about your existence.

[B]

Right?

[A]

So.

[B]

And that decrepit bitch could fall over and die at any moment.

[A]

There is all so that I wouldn't.

[B]

Be counting on a pardon from that nigga. He's barely alive.

[A]

His hands have gone gangrene and he's like. And they keep trying to gaslight a surprise. I just shake so many hands because everyone loves.

[B]

That's not.

[A]

And so that's what that is.

[B]

No, it isn't.

[A]

What.

[B]

That isn't how that works at all. Zoran. Mom, Donnie went around this whole city day and night for like two solid months. That nigga went from the Pink Panthers concert to fucking West Indian Day Parade to Poppy Juice and Bushwick. Like, that nigga went all over the place. You didn't see Zoran at Poppy Juice?

[A]

I actually. Wait, I did see. Zora was at Poppy Juice.

[B]

Zorro was at Poppy Juice. Yes. He spent Halloween in the gay club reaching out. Cause that's where you find the gays in the club on holidays. And we. And his hand has been that same color this whole time. So it's not shaking hands that got you looking like that. Nigga, you're 80. You're fixing to die. That's what that is. It's rot. You're rotting.

[A]

Yeah, it's dead flesh, but that's all that it is.

[B]

The administration just gaslighting us. Healthiest president ever. Y' all just be saying shit.

[A]

Well, shout out to. To Sean Combs as well as Anika Mirage for keeping keeping black American PR at the White House up and stuck. Well, maybe not. That's Cardi. Anyway, Nicki Minaj was on a Spaces thingy. And for the life of me, I don't know why female rappers are still doing that.

[B]

Get her off of.

[A]

What do they get out. What is that? What do they. Why do they keep getting onto the thing and having these converse calls with strangers?

[B]

I don't know, Cardi does it too. It's I.

[A]

No Cardi, jt. They all do it.

[B]

I guess they just love interacting with their fans that way. I mean, I can't think of any other reason, but I personally don't get it. I just don't need that from my rap artists or any other.

[A]

On paper, it is a cool way to connect with your fans in theory.

[B]

Yep, it is. But the way y' all use it.

[A]

It is so often masked. Yeah. It just feels like a sounding board for you to be like, well, that bitch's kids are knock kneed and it's because you know she's crazy. Whatever. And then they clip it and send it to a blogger and then the other one does the spaces. Yeah.

[B]

And then they just go back and forth and you talk about how much you love Trump and begging that nigga for citizenship.

[A]

I think this started because someone, one of her fans was on the spaces and made a reference to Trump's administration essentially tanking the country, the economy, so on and so forth. And Nikki shut it down or attempted to shut it down in this rant, this pro Trump rant essentially, which I think just kind of caused more of a like confusion and divide with some barbs.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Who are just kind of at the end, like at wits end. They have, she does still have many they so tight fans who will just be like, eh, whatever. This is the queen of my life and my mother. And she could say whatever she wants, but there are still others who are like, okay, girl, I'm gonna have to draw the line at Trump or talk about kids or bump, you know, like it's just like.

[B]

Right. Attacking that woman's grave, things like that. I just can't with that.

[A]

Well, the barb interns in the White House are loving it because they put together a. A TikTok featuring Trump and his woman.

[B]

No.

[A]

And the music behind it is this mashup of bees in the trap with what's going on.

[B]

Yeah. That's been trending for a long time. That sound ass.

[A]

I've heard it before. Hate it. Hated it when I first heard it, hate it now. But that is, it is a thing that exists. And I guess the White House, in lieu of this lady hollering in defense of Trump, was like, oh, let's get it on on the action or whatever. So they posted this Donald Trump TikTok of him trying to jig off beat next to this robot. And Nikki said, the President and first lady of the United States of America. United States of America in all caps Barbs. I don't know which one of you uploaded this to the White House TikTok, but just know. Unlimited backstage gag. City for life. Well, I'm glad you know.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

I don't know what timeline we're on right now. I'm just going with the flow. Well, if there's anything here I agree with, that's it. That is it. And then she posted a picture of herself looking absolutely beautiful with the word seethe. I don't know. This is when she was dating Meek Mill. I think it was the vms, but.

[B]

That looks like an old photograph, but whatever. Oh, yeah, you've always been pretty. Maybe you don't know that, but you've always been a pretty girl. This. I don't care about that. This is just so weird, girl. Like, that's. That's where you're going. I mean, and it makes sense, I guess, because she's been spiraling for so long, trying to attach herself to Trump is the next loser move. But really, Nikki, I'm so glad I left her alone a long, long fucking time ago.

[A]

Sick and shut. Yeah.

[B]

Cause it's legit. Something wrong with her. Like, I don't know what it is, but like I said about Debra Messi, there's something wrong with both of them bitches. I can't put my finger on it, but I would be disgusted if Trump even knew my name, much less tried to put me in a video. Don't use my nothing for nothing.

[A]

I didn't even read all this stuff that she was saying in relation to Nigeria and Christianity.

[B]

Oh, yes, child, she talking about. This was before the Nigerian Christian genocide or something.

[A]

Yeah, Donald Trump tweeted. Maybe this is. Yeah, Christianity is facing an existential threat in Nigeria. Go with that. Just. You can look it up. I'm sure it's still there. I'm not reading all this because I don't care. But yeah, I guess she agrees and retweeted it. Reading this made me feel a deep sense of gratitude. We live in a country where we can freely worship God. No group should ever be persecuted for practicing their religion. We don't have to share the same beliefs in order for us to respect each other.

[B]

God, you think Trump believes in freedom of religion? Freedom to practice whatever religion? No, that isn't it at all. Trump don't actually give one fuck about religion. Even Christianity? Especially Christianity. He is just pandering to what his base wants to hear. None of those people are actual Christians, but they for damn sure are not believing in some American value. Of everybody can come here. And the. The same people who are sending ice into cities to lock up immigrants. No, absolutely not. Andrew Cuomo. Andrew Cuomo said himself that diversity is a weakness. That diversity can be a weakness. That's not. They're. They're not here for no freedom of religious expression. And you know that. You're not a stupid person. Nikki, I don't get this. She's just weird. This is the stupidest shit that. I mean, you know, there were so many nails in the coffin for me. Cuomo was at actually a no go from the very beginning. I'm like, have we all forgotten about the sexual assault?

[A]

Like, it ain't no way Uber me nowhere legit.

[B]

You can't. You cannot Uber. You can't even bring nothing to. You can't Uber courier me nothing. Like don't even come in my vicinity. But yeah, it's. Nikki is gone, been gone. And I just hope the Barbs, who are still desperately trying to hold on to it, can realize it and finally let that bitch go. She is full throated Goblin Trump. Do y' all see it? You can't ignore it.

[A]

Hey guys. Nowadays it feels like all social media is filled with different health trends and life hacks. Like cottage cheese as an entire nutrition plan. That one's not for me. Maybe red light therapy that can solve any and every skin problem. I don't think. Maybe I just give this a rest to try some irl, like a real living healthcare professional who can help meet my health goals. And with ZocDoc, I'm happy to say it is incredibly easy. You can find doctors that are right for you and instantly book an appointment. ZocDoc is a free app and a website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. I've used ZocDoc like countless times. I still use it to this very day. I just used it the other day to look up a new form of therapy which I'm into right now. And it was super, super easy and very quick. And even in times where I booked a dentist appointment, for instance, and needed to get it rescheduled, within minutes I got a call from the dentist office saying we saw that you booked an appointment. Can you move it to this time tomorrow? It's just really easy, very fast. It takes away the stress of having to get on the phone with people or stuff. So stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to zocdoc.com thereead to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today that is zocdoc.com thereead zocdoc.com thereead go get you some care.

[B]

Hey guys, over at Metro they've got your back. They've lowered their prices and they're giving you a five year price guarantee on talk, text and data. Now listen, I know like y' all know like my mama, cousins and everybody else knows that the prices lately they have been through the roof. I thought we were all worried about grocery prices a few months ago. Girl, everything has gotten worse as far as I'm concerned. At the gas pump, grocery store, the rent's going up, the the bus tickets, clothes, everything is going up. It would be nice if prices went down for a change. Metro said I got you. That ain't problem. One line 20% lower. Family plans also lowered and you get a free 5G phone all with no ID required and no activation fees. So stop by your neighborhood Metro store, visit Metro by t mobile.com or call to find out about their amazing offers. That's right, bring your number not available if currently at T Mobile or with Metro in the past 180 days. Guarantee covers monthly price of on network, Talk, text and 5G data for customers activating on an eligible plan exclusion supply details at metro by t-mobile.com.

[A]

On the flip side of things okay, apparently Cardi B is having a boy. One Stepan Diggs said I think after a game that they know the sex of baby is boy and that he'll be here real soon saying wish us luck. Apparently Cardi was at one of his recent games against the Atlanta Falcons. She watched him score a touchdown and was there to cheer him on and you know, be all celebratory and stuff. And I think people even brought up her presence there and excitement there to him. Maybe like a post interview or something like that. And her fans were picking apart some of the comments cause it sounds like either they have like a playful trolley relationship or they got into an argument before this.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And so because when when they asked him about it at first he said something like well she came late so like I don't know how I feel about. What did he say? Where is the quote? I know he said something about her dancing. Like when he scored the touchdown or whatever he did some dance and then she recreated the dance.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Or whatever and they asked him about that or if she he like coached her on how to do it or some shit and he said nah, she picked it up on her own. Dancing was a little shaky though so I'll look into that for y'. All. But there was something else he said before this about, like, maybe she was late. And he. It was like, very passive aggressive.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

At least it read passive aggressive to me. I didn't hear him, like, watch the clip of him saying it. Like, yeah, she showed up a little bit later. Whatever. I don't know what that was about. Type of tea. So again, he could have just been, like, with her in the interview. I don't really know much about his personality. Or it was given, like he was in his feelings about something and maybe look at over it. Either way, there you go. She having a boy with this new nigga. She's also having to deal with that lady who sued her. I guess they threw the case out and then she went outside and threw a pan at somebody.

[B]

Oh, yes. Well, who didn't see that coming?

[A]

Well, yeah, she's already working on a new trial or getting a new trial set because of that incident. Which is what we would say. Which is what we had. And also offset Cardi B's ex husband, soon to be ex husband, estranged husband.

[B]

I think they're separated. Maybe not divorced.

[A]

Separate. Whatever that nigga she married to. For me, girls, that's. It. Has a new. I think I would call this a mixtape. Maybe a new project. I think he dropped on Halloween. And on it he has a song called no Sweat. The mixtape is called Haunted by Fame.

[B]

Okay, well, you can.

[A]

On a song. No Sweat. He disses Cardi, saying, how the fuck you leave Jordan for Rodman? You a fool. I listen, you're not an athlete. That.

[B]

You'Re. You are not an athlete. Nigga like, Stephon Diggs might be a whore and. And sexually undisciplined and. And maybe not that great of a person, but he does at least have an extreme amount of athletic talent. You do not. I don't even know why you would bring athletes into. I don't even know why you would say that.

[A]

Rappers love bringing athletes into it. And. And then, like, calling these up, but.

[B]

Knowing she's with an athlete.

[A]

It's like Steph Curry Seth with the pot.

[B]

Yeah, sure, but not when your wife left you for an athlete. Yeah, that's what's not clicking for me. Like, why would you even. All right. Yeah, all right. Should have said, why would you leave me? Go with a worse of me. Why would you leave me? At least I didn't have kids on you. Cardi pregnant. And so is three, four other girls with Stephan's kid. Allegedly. That's what they said they got on The Internet and said that. But, okay, this is your choice.

[A]

The other women. Because I saw this in my mentions that I'm, like, looking for it to talk about this week, and I didn't see anything.

[B]

You haven't seen the post from the girls saying that they're pregnant? I mean, I don't know their names. I don't think they're famous. One of them is. Oh, God. I think she's Kiki from Drake's. Kiki, do you love me?

[A]

Okay, I don't.

[B]

That's the only one who I can remember anything else. Like, you know, she has done something to make her stick in my mind. Um. But, yeah, that's why I said allegedly. The rest are all allegedly. But, yeah, this.

[A]

Well, we'll see what. How that goes.

[B]

Yes, we will.

[A]

I looked it up.

[B]

Cause DNA. DNA will take care of that. We'll just wait till them kids get here.

[A]

How you leave Jordan Rodman? You a fool if you think that I'm hurt. You ain't happy. I know how it works. How you married and still giving birth. Get some help, bitch. You're going berserk. Okay, so here's the thing. Well, first, you a fool if you think that I'm hurt. Well, then why are you doing this still?

[B]

Because you kind of seem hurt.

[A]

You seem a little hurt, Jordan, for Rodman. You don't even.

[B]

You're not that at all. You're giving yourself a lot. You're not Jordan in any capacity. Like, no matter how you slice it, you are not the Jordan in this situation.

[A]

Not even in rap.

[B]

Like, not even in rap. Not even in Atlanta rap.

[A]

Ow. Okay, so there's that. But overall, I'm reading this. I'm just like, okay, so here's the thing, right? You have children and they have ears, and culture is probably already at an age where she go to private school, or could go to private school and get hold of a device that has music on it and listen to her dad's music and then be like, oh, interesting. Oh, yeah.

[B]

It's just strange.

[A]

Oh, for what?

[B]

He don't give a fuck about them kids. He don't give a damn about what's best for them. You would not be talking about they mama like this if so like this if you didn't he already put out a mixtape or whatever. Like, right before Cardi. Like, a month before Cardi put hers out.

[A]

Yeah, he right.

[B]

So again, I feel like if you really were over it and you didn't give a fuck and you not hurt and you got all these New bad bitches and all this. It would be no reason for yet another song or project or whatever. This is about this, lady. Move on, like you said. Didn't you say that? Move the fuck on. Like, pick up your life and do something else.

[A]

He didn't say that.

[B]

Right. He got a whole ass song. Do something else with yourself.

[A]

Maybe move on to the civil lawsuit that you described for assault as well as battery.

[B]

Wait, yeah, I was about to say Stephan or Cardi or who? Cause all three of them.

[A]

Yeah, it really is kind of all three of them. Somebody.

[B]

All three of y' all need to grow up some.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So Offset on a group trip. It sounds like all y' all like to fight.

[B]

Peas in a pod, really. I don't understand why y' all don't get along. All y' all act just the same. Offset accused. No way.

[A]

Filed a lawsuit first of November for alleged assault, battery, and intentional infliction of emotional distress against Asset. I think I remember hearing something about this, but it could have also been, like, in one ear, out the other, because I've heard so many assault cases or stories coming from each of the members of Migos. Remember there was, like, one year where them niggas were fighting, like, once a month.

[B]

Yes, I do remember that. Yes, I do. Not at the Med Men. Oh, you tried it, right? The Med Men. Now, Medmen is a nice. It's like the Apple store of dispensaries.

[A]

It is the Apple store of dispensaries.

[B]

You go in there and they got displays all set up. You play around with the thing. Somebody comes around.

[A]

Weird lanyard name tag that things.

[B]

It ain't never no reason to be punching at the med men. What the.

[A]

It's the happiest place on earth.

[B]

For real. Like, this is not. I don't. Okay, nigga.

[A]

Security guard Jim Sanchez alleges that obviously was hostile. Became verbally confrontational and physically attached. Attacked him by striking him in the face.

[B]

For what?

[A]

Asked to show identification. You not hurt, but you felt so tried that somebody asked you for your ID that you cussed them out and punched them. Bitch, you have smoked weed long enough, legally and illegally to know that if you walk into a dispensary, especially if you do not, even if you do go there all the time, it don't even matter. But, like, if you walk into a dispensary, they ask you for your id.

[B]

They do.

[A]

It is the law.

[B]

It is. I don't even understand how you have an attitude about this. You have to.

[A]

If it was the. Your Hood dispensary that you go to all the time. They would be like, oh, what's up, Offset? How you doing? Especially they scan your little thing, sending you on away. They have to do it.

[B]

They do it. They do it. And med men, like I just said, the Apple Store, they follow the rules. They follow the rules up in the med men. So why would you. What was this? Like, everybody know who I am, bitch, I'm Offset. Don't play with me. Like, it can't be that.

[A]

That has. That's obviously gonna be my initial assumption. If you're saying. If they're alleging that you became hostile and confrontational, you fucking idiot. When they asked for your id, why else would you.

[B]

Why wouldn't you just pull your ID out? Surely you was with 15 niggas. Give them niggas your order and let. And go sit in the Sprinter while they go get the weed. Why do you.

[A]

Was this, like, want problems? Ptsd, like, it's.

[B]

It's California. They not finna be like, oh, you can't buy weed for nobody. Like, they not finna be that strict about it. It's just.

[A]

They're not gonna be like, oh, your ID's expired. Get out.

[B]

Right, bitch. But it's a big group of niggas at the Medmen. This happens all the time. Yes. I need to see everybody id.

[A]

Also, I don't know the complexities of this, but I know that in many cases, especially a big Apple Store dispensary, like, Medmen giving them your ID at the door also, like, puts you in a queue because by the time that you get passed in, someone comes up to you and is like, they know your name. Are you. Whatever his real name is.

[B]

Kyari.

[A]

Kyari.

[B]

Kyari.

[A]

Kyari. Good. What can I do? Like, they already have you, like, in a queue with your information. If you've been there before, if you have credits. Da da, da, da, da.

[B]

Everything.

[A]

It's just a part of the process.

[B]

Yes, it is.

[A]

And I refuse to believe that that is, like, unfamiliar or foreign to you.

[B]

It can't be.

[A]

But I do believe it can't be. You're a little tight in your little hurt.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. That's a lot more plausible in my brain.

[A]

The BM finally realized she didn't needs.

[B]

Yeah, finally.

[A]

And she could take her kids and go on. Yes to the next. But, like, she left you.

[B]

She did.

[A]

And you're tired.

[B]

You can't take that out on the Madman. Security bar, everybody can't. You're full for that.

[A]

Can't get It.

[B]

What an idiot.

[A]

Six direct figures that the doll babies would indeed. Yeah, like 232,000. Wait, no. This is a whole different case.

[B]

Wait, not two different cases?

[A]

Yes. Us Weekly says Offset is also battling a $232,000 judgment against him over an alleged assault at a Florida strip club. This one I remember about. Maybe this is the one I was thinking of. I remember this.

[B]

Yuck.

[A]

Why.

[B]

Why do you love hitting strangers so much? You really. No, you should talk to somebody about that. You need to get that under control. You can't just go around assaulting people.

[A]

I'd cuff myself.

[B]

Bitch, like.

[A]

Bitch, like, if you can't control your hands, you need to put on some gloves or something.

[B]

Yeah, you need to. You need to start traveling with a supervisor.

[A]

You're a case worker, bitch. You need somebody to move around in public with you.

[B]

You need a caseworker.

[A]

$232,000. Are you still fighting people for doing their job?

[B]

I'm assuming this strip club thing was before the dispensary thing. Yeah. Your anger is out of control, nigga. You're gonna have to get yourself together. You can't go around beating ass because.

[A]

Yes, the strip club thing is 2000. It's 2021.

[B]

Oh, wow. Well, okay.

[A]

What an idiot. Bacardi is going berserk. Like, okay.

[B]

I mean, listen, birds of a feather. Cause she. She left court after beating a case, and he immediately assaulted somebody else.

[A]

The flock is together.

[B]

Y' all the same type of nigga. Y' all the same type of nigga.

[A]

Y' all need a program.

[B]

How stupid. Seriously, why are you even going in the Mad Men? Just send one of your 30 niggas into the Mad Men. Where are you even going.

[A]

Leafly E?

[B]

Oh, yes.

[A]

Weed maps.

[B]

Come on, bitch. You don't even have options. You don't have to leave the house. You can have shit delivered right to your door. And you will still have to show id. And you will steal.

[A]

Like babes. Babes. Babes. What do you.

[B]

If you're buying weed, legally, you're going to have to show your ID, period. That is universal.

[A]

Imagine if you're at, like, LaGuardia and TSA is like, Let me get your ID, girl.

[B]

Fuck you.

[A]

What you need my ID for? You don't listen to the read. Like, they would be like, bitch, have you ever been outside?

[B]

Um, so you're never. Not only are you not flying today, you're never flying again because you'll never.

[A]

Get on the plane. So you don't have to worry about this experience. Say less.

[B]

You've lost it, bitch. I don't care if I have heard the read. I'm going to need to see your id. I don't care if motorsport is your favorite song. I need to see your id. This is not even just in the US When I went to Amsterdam, every fucking coffee shop. I need to see your goddamn id.

[A]

The law, safety for the pl. Imagine I am a TSA agent, working, making whatever. Probably keep my head above water right now.

[B]

You're not making shit, not getting paid, right?

[A]

I'm like, oh, there go Kiffiri from the breed. Oh, don't worry about it. You ain't gotta show me your id. I listen to your thing, kid. Fury then proceeds to enter lax.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

And I don't know, burn down the lemonade. You're going to jail.

[B]

You went to lemonade? Oh, yeah.

[A]

Why didn't like.

[B]

And you didn't check this bitch's eyes. Why should I? Oh, we don't need to check Kiff Urie's bags whole time. Kiff Ury got a machete in that bitch. What are you doing? Check his bag.

[A]

Throwing knives. Oh, I didn't.

[B]

You got.

[A]

See, that's why we do the bare.

[B]

Minimum things right for everybody. This is.

[A]

So you expected for the medman person to possibly lose his job because he let you into the fucking Medman without checking your id. And then you beat somebody else ass in there. Cause you beat everybody else ass when you leave that house because you can't control your emotions. Now he's out of a job.

[B]

Cause the whole point was to keep niggas like you from coming in in the first place.

[A]

Why? Because he recognized you.

[B]

Because he did his job.

[A]

I don't know what y'. All.

[B]

Something like, you had to have already been high, drunk, something. You was clearly outta your mind. Cause the way if I didn't have my ID on me, I would have said so quick, pick me up some Lost Farms and some Caminos. The Wild Berry and the passion fruit. The G. Thank you so much. And then some of them pro tabs. Appreciate you. Like, I would have just gave my order to somebody else and went and got in the car. I would rather sit in the car anyway. I would rather do it.

[A]

Is it more expensive to have it delivered? Of course it is.

[B]

And you tip on something.

[A]

But baby, I would say that it is worth the additional cost.

[B]

Absolutely is.

[A]

If the alternative is you possibly punching someone in the face and cashing charges because you are that pissed or out of control of your.

[B]

Absolutely. And There is nothing nicer than when you at home tired, you realize you only got one blunt left or whatever. And you could just get on an app and somebody delivers it to your house in an hour.

[A]

Jesus. Is it.

[B]

Is it right? There's nothing that feels better than that. And all I have to do is show you my id. Paid with my bank account online. Like I. You can tell I buy a lot of weed like this. I know the process. And at no point do you get to bypass showing your id.

[A]

Sometimes I've had them drop things off here and it would be a delivery person I've seen before or a few times. I also buy the weed.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[A]

And they're not like, oh yeah, I've been here. No, I meet them at the door with my ID in my hand. I show they look, here you go. It is a two second process.

[B]

I've said it's childish therapy programs really needed. Needed and necessary and available to you if you would simply partake.

[A]

Um, so do you know who's really petty? We actually just brought them up?

[B]

Me. No, it can't be me.

[A]

Yes, Major League Baseball. Oh, oh, you see MLB on phone.

[B]

Well, first of all, I was watching the game, could not believe the Dodgers. You know, I barely get baseball. Barely. But I was like, I feel like I need to watch these. I felt so bad for the Blue Jays. I really did. Like y' all was this twice. Twice the same wound at home. I know they was gobsmacked, nigga. I know they could not believe that shit. Fuck. So yes, I saw that. Well, I saw that the players came out at the parade to. Not like a switch I expected. Um, but I don't think I saw whatever else you're talking about.

[A]

Well, the LA Dodgers beat the Toronto Blue Jays for the in the World Series. Um, and I mean Toronto came to la, beat the Dodgers here. They only had to win one more game. The last two were at home. When I tell you them bitches played Kendrick's album back to back meditated. I don't know what it like. Them niggas crazy World Series Dodger Blue Luther, they just went off and defeated Toronto MLB on Fox on their Twitter page, I believe posted some photo that looks like it has to be AI, but it is Kendrick. And is it an Acura on the COVID of that car? I meant on the COVID of that album. The car from the COVID of the album. Whatever car that is.

[B]

I'm finna go look this up.

[A]

And he is speeding dust into the face of one Drake who's Standing on the bas. On the baseball field behind him.

[B]

Okay, I don't like AI, but this is hilarious. Why would y' all do this?

[A]

Why would they do that?

[B]

Damn. I thought maybe the Dodgers account posted this. No, bitch. MLG on Fox. No, the league. Oh, that's. That's too much. No, why would the league do.

[A]

Like, why would they do that?

[B]

This is all Drake's Nike put together. A little.

[A]

Little clip dedicated to the Dodgers win with night like us playing in the background. Mind you, Drake has, like, three Nike deals.

[B]

Oh, well, we don't give a fuck.

[A]

They don't give a fuck.

[B]

We don't give a fuck. That's not our problem. That's your problem.

[A]

Whoo.

[B]

Oh, I can't believe the leaks ate him. That is so messy.

[A]

It was just gross. It was so hilarious.

[B]

No, no, because I would have an attitude. That's so fucked up. Like, no, y' all got me fucked up, actually.

[A]

I know I saw a quote from Drake that said something congratulatory to the Blue Jays. Something like, you know, congrats to them on an amazing season. And something like. Like, I can't remember how he worded the series, but basically, like, he commended the intense nail biting, whatever nature to it. I'm not gonna pull up whatever he said, but he had a very PC response saying, congrats to Toronto, basically. And everyone else has been making AI memes to shit on this nigga. Not to mention there's a rapper who I believe is from California who's suing spot for inflating numbers with bots. And the, like, singular artist that is named in this lawsuit as an example is Drake. No, I'm like, he is battered and bloody. Let the man get up. Like, let him get up.

[B]

Didn't Drake allude to this himself when he was like, I know y' all use bots to artificially inflate the numbers. Cause you did it for me. It's like when you're just opening the door for somebody else. Like, why would you even bring that up? Why would. Yeah, I knew when I saw him at the Blue Jays game, I said, well, that's it for them. I'll y' all this 28 and three all over again. Y' all finna lose this in the final fucking seconds. I could not believe it.

[A]

Brutal. Brutal.

[B]

Oh, shout out to the Dodgers, though.

[A]

Just mentioned, Kendrick is a wide open Dodgers fan. Yeah, Drake is a wide open Blue Jays fan. This wasn't just like, PR finesse into a dre. Kendrick back and forth.

[B]

It's Just beautiful. It's just really poetic how it worked out. Well, you see how LA won again.

[A]

Poetic justice, please.

[B]

We'll always have that song. I actually really enjoy it. I used to love Poetic justice, man.

[A]

It's a great song.

[B]

It's great.

[A]

And they're both great artists and you get joy.

[B]

Yeah. You know, nice. For what is a great song.

[A]

Points were made, points were attempted, and. And here we are.

[B]

Here we go.

[A]

In the here and now of things. Last but not least, I wanted to bring up that one church again that Marvin Winans is. Is behind.

[B]

Oh, no, thank you. No, thank you.

[A]

That lady, Roberta McCoy, who went to the altar with $1,200 instead of $2,000 and then got cussed out and dragged across social media. Um, some of you may know that Ms. McCoy or Mrs. Excuse me, I don't know, your marital status was kind of side by side with Pastor Marvin Winans when he was initially being criticized for his behavior. And she was very supportive of him and, you know, kind of taking the blame in many respects. Well, now that the PR shit is over, Roberta is in. In the truth of the matter, which is that them people don't give a fuck about her. Oh, she posted on Facebook. It's like I'm turning invisible now. I'm no longer useful to them. I served their purpose. I was only damage control. They wanted to protect the name, protect the brand. Their cause of concern has stopped when the media storm stopped. I see that with wide open eyes now. They turned on me. They blame me now. It's all my fault. They say I'm the one that owes Pastor Winans an apology. They say I need to grow up. I need to be an adult about this. My heart is broken. I'm fading away. My big heart for people is shrinking into a broken, shallow heartbeat. I can hardly hear my own heartbeat anymore. I'm becoming someone I don't know. My heartbeats are slower now. I'm fading. Can you still see me? I was Roberta McCoy. Who am I now? Can you find me? Do you see me? Where am I? My beautiful soul has been replaced with this broken soul. So that's a lot more of.

[B]

Okay, that's very sad.

[A]

It gets really sad. It's a lot more like, can you see? Am I totally invisible yet? It's really sad. She also said, did you see the empty seats on Sunday at 10:45? People are appalled and tired of being mistreated in the churches. Do you know what would bring people back to church in great numbers? I think seeing the human side of a pastor. I think if they saw a pastor who was not prideful but who was humble like Jesus and just said he was sorry for the offense, I think that would bring a lot of people back to church all over the world. I, Roberta McCoy, stand in faith and give this letter in unity to those who never received your apology for church hurt. I'm sorry. Well, Mrs. Ms. Roberta McCoy, I too am sorry that an ugly ass bitch like this would even say that. Tiffany Pollard. Okay, never mind. Back on track.

[B]

We get it.

[A]

I apologize that you could potentially be feeling this level of darkness and isolation and betrayal. And I will echo that. It is absolutely ridiculous that you apologize to any goddamn body. You went, you didn't record yourself. You didn't. You went up with 12, okay, with 1200 United States dollars in Trump's 2025 economy. You went up to this church and gave them twelve hundred dollars. You were mocked, you were chastised, you were belittled and humiliated. You don't owe anybody an apology for anything.

[B]

You don't. You never did.

[A]

Never. Not once. You never should have even been pushed or placed in a position to speak up for that nigga. You shouldn't have been a part of damage control or anybody's PR team because you didn't do anything besides try to provide hard earned money for this church to build a, like a love seat or something for the pastor's office.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Fucking ridiculous.

[B]

Oh God. I, you know, this is exactly what I was talking about. The weeks that we have have covered this story and the fact that the underlining point here, I think for both of us, is that this is not how people who are supposed to be working in the image of God, followers of Jesus Christ. This is not appropriate behavior for people who purport to be about that life.

[A]

That is appropriate, I would say spirituality, period.

[B]

I mean, yes, but because Christianity and its ideals are what I know best and I know how the church operates. This is not Christlike. That was my, that's been my whole point this whole time. Nothing about rebuking a woman in that fashion for giving you 1200 fucking dollars, mind you. But even if she was coming up there with a KFC coupon, talking to her that way was crazy coming from a leader of a church, period.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

And so this is what I really hate to see. Like, I'm glad she, that she was just used in that moment to kind of get social media to calm down and get off of Marvin Winans dick. Let him continue to misuse Yalls money however he wants to. But I really hate that she's feeling that way. Like, I hate to hear that. And I just went and Googled the Facebook post so I could read the whole thing, and it's sad. And y' all did that to her. Y', all. That church, that woman really believed in you and your mission and the things you said you cared about and wanted to do and all this. Like. Like, y' all did that to her. Y' all killed that hope and that fire and that spirit in her that.

[A]

Is just on your own. On your own. To this day, that lady ain't done nothing but approach you with a whole bunch of money. And then what you asked her to do so that you could look good.

[B]

Well, the good thing about. Yeah, no, go ahead, go ahead.

[A]

Outside of the greed, a lot of people in these positions in church feel like they could talk to people however the fuck they want to in a church.

[B]

Yeah, they do.

[A]

Because you could have finessed that greed into a way when you were speaking to her when she came up there, that wasn't so poisonous and gross and ungrateful and bitch made. But that's how you're used to acting and then finessing the system to get what the fuck you want. Because it's not your fault. It was. That lady didn't do nothing but bring you a whole bunch of money. You were recording. You asked them to bring you the money. You spoke to her how you wanted to. You chose to go about the pr, this way, that way, that way. None of those ways worked. Now she got to apologize to you. For what?

[B]

So that the church can feel better? People, stop being mean to us online, girl. Fuck.

[A]

That's not her fault, y'.

[B]

All. The amazing thing about Christianity is even if you don't, even if Marvin Winans never sees justice on Earth, the faith says he'll see it in the afterlife. You will be held accountable and judged and asked straight to your face about the shit you did on this here planet Earth during your time on it. And you are gonna have to be held accountable, not to any of us, but to the God you say you believe in one fine day. And I would love to see how you explain this shit.

[A]

But until then, on these fine days that we share living earthly moments with you, you're gonna hold my dick. And it is what it is. Like, bitch, I don't give a fuck what you. I don't have a heaven or hell to put you in, but the earth that we share, you're gonna hold my dick on it. That's it. Don't like it.

[B]

That's too damn fast.

[A]

Do better. It is what it is.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

That's gonna wrap up Hot tops for this week. Wishing all of you well. From the Trump supporters to the convicts. The Trump supporting convicts.

[B]

What is he. What's happening?

[A]

We wish you God's grace. Oh, yeah. Amen.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Hey guys. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is an all in one website platform designed to help your business stand out and succeed online. Every dream needs a domain. It's a thing, girl. Squarespace domains make it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair all inclusive price without hidden fees or add ons required. And with Squarespace collection of cutting edge design tools, anyone can build a beautiful professional online presence that perfectly fits their brand or business. I've used it quite a few times for a few different websites and it truly is incredibly easy. Going from the old days living in my own house learning HTML and coding. So I just put a blog spot page up together that look half decent and going from this which is essentially click, click. Oh, do you have a photograph? Oh, that's fine, we can give you one. It's just, it is so easy and quick. So if you're Interested, head to squarespace.com theread for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use offer code theread1word to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Let them know we sent you. Let's get back to the show. Hey guys, Listen. Sometimes keeping tabs on your finances and trying to make progress can be a bit of a headache. A lot of smaller things and little details that can become overwhelming. Especially if you've got an overactive brain like myself. Missed payments, overdraft fees, whatever. Chime understands that every dollar counts. And that's why when you set up direct deposit through Chime, you get access to of fee free features like free overdraft coverage, getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit and more. Not to mention access to over 47,000 fee free ATMs. Work on your financial goals through Chime today. Open an account in two [e-mail] the read that's chime.com theread Chime feels like progress. Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bancorp Bank NA or Stride Bank NA members FDIC spot me Eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Timing depends on submission of payment file. Fees apply at out of network ATMs bank ranking and number of ATMs according to US News and World Report. 2023 Chime checking account required. Okay, folks, it is time for your letters.

[B]

Yes, it is. Send your questions to askthereadmail.com we may read them aloud on the show. Our first letter this week comes from Tyler, who says hi, Chris Lynn Kifieri I have a huge crush on my straight friend Malik. Malik and I.

[A]

A straight Malik. Jesus.

[B]

Malik and I worked at the post office as mail carriers for two years together before he got fired a few months ago. On our routes and assignments, we talk on the phone literally all day, keeping each other company and just chatting as friends. It kind of felt like playful flirting from both ends, but in the moment it also felt harmless. Now that we haven't spoken as much because he has a new job and doesn't have so much freedom to talk on the phone all day, I feel my heart aching. I have now realized I was in love with him and I miss him so much. I know he said he's straight, but it's been multiple people around the office who said they think he likes me and there was even a rumor going around that we were together. A close.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

A close friend pointed out that a straight man who thinks you like him is not going to be on the phone with you or as playful as that man is, which I'm honestly not sure if that's kind of homophobic or just an observation. I don't want to freak him out, but I feel like I'm losing my mind and I'm in a deep depression with this on my heart. Also don't want to be that stupid gay guy who falls for the straight friend, but I don't know if some of the things that other people have said have any truth to them. In the beginning of our friendship, I told him that I liked him over text and he sent the messages to somebody asking what to say back because he's straight.

[A]

How do you know that?

[B]

But the person he asked for, he asked for advice from isn't straight. When I said it made me feel embarrassed and hurt my feelings that he would share a private moment that meant no harm. He apologized and we moved forward, still talking as friends, so I'm not really sure what to think. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. Thanks Tyler. Don't do that to Tyler. Who amongst us hasn't had a crush on somebody straight before?

[A]

I was actually about to say almost the exact same sentence.

[B]

Oh my God. My African dance teacher in undergrad. Oh my God. I wanted her so bad. And she was so cool, too. She would hang out with us.

[A]

African American dance teacher.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Such. Okay, okay.

[B]

She was so cool and she would, like, let us hang out at her house and all this. And I'm like, I'm in love with this woman. And no, I wasn't. But.

[A]

Yeah, at all.

[B]

But that went nowhere. She was very professional.

[A]

Like, yeah, Tyler.

[B]

Okay, baby, this semester's over. Going somewhere?

[A]

I think you're in love either. I think you're infatuated with him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which is fine and fair and can be cute. You just have to be able to. I don't know what term to use, like, come up for air sometimes just be like, okay, well, here's the reality of the situation. What is the best for my, you know, emotional safety? So in this case, couple of things. First, I guess I'll start with, like, the saying that you liked him, because that was kind of going to be my suggestion anyway. It was just like, oh, well, just say that you like him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

See where it goes? Boom, it's out there, it's done. Whatever. But you did say that you liked him through a text. I wouldn't have suggested you did a text. You should. Next time this happens, say it to them in person. Yeah, but I also don't think you should have. You know, I don't think you should take the. Sending the message to someone else the way that he did that personal.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

I can understand why you would feel hurt or embarrassed by it, but I might also assume that he cared enough about your feelings to try and get an idea of the best possible response from someone before he sends it to you. I think I would process that as. Okay, this is a little bit embarrassing, but he probably just didn't want to like, it is. He didn't want to hurt my feelings or say anything wrong. So, yeah, I guess, you know, since then, you know, he's just a straight guy that you are infatuated with. You have a crush on him. You guys have really good vibes or chemistry together. I think a lot of gay people, especially men, are so accustomed to straight men either wanting nothing to do with us or kind of keeping us at a certain arms.

[B]

Okay. Yeah.

[A]

Especially if they know we're gay, bisexual and could possibly like them or do like, openly queer.

[B]

They're like, oh, no, stay five feet away at minimum. Thank you.

[A]

And they think their suit girl, the medals they give themselves, like, oh, I'm, you know, I'm really open minded and you know, just like. Like, at most when they are Wrapping up their coffee in the work room or the break room. I mean, they'll say hello to you. Oh, yeah. Did you watch the game? Oh, you don't do that. Okay, well, good to see you, bro. And they feel like they did God's work. Oh, yeah. No, because they didn't call you a fashion or. Right. So sometimes the girls, like have this straight friend who just treats them like a person.

[B]

Oh. And you're like, this is my man.

[A]

And you're like, oh, my God, my man. We're married. Even other people might be like, oh, he must like you. He just like you speak to him.

[B]

And he speaks back because he wasn't hateful. Wow. That's how low the bar is, though.

[A]

No, seriously.

[B]

No, for real.

[A]

So I think that could have something to do with you seeing stars or hearts around your. Around his head or whatever when you speaking to him and just being all in feelings and things on the other side of this or another part of this also is I think that there are some straight men that just people who just like being liked, especially men. And so there is like a validation that comes with interacting with someone who has a crush on you. It'll make you feel sexy. It'll make you feel, you know, being bad and so on and so forth. And it doesn't have to be one person. They hoard it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

They just want people to like it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This just be really charismatic and just likes that you have cool vibes where he feels appreciated and lusted after or whatever. So all that is a. I would keep all that in mind and. And protect yourself. It doesn't sound like there's anything legitimate coming from this relationship in terms of like love or romance.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Like, it doesn't seem like it is going to build to that place. It doesn't seem like that that's what's happening or that's what he's thinking. There's a lot of assumptions and stuff, but ultimately I think it's a waste of your time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Even if he does like you. Because if he does, girl, spit it out and say it. Like, wait, if so, listen, you might want to go on a date. You might want to go to the club. You might want to do something else. But get this. Get this out of your head because it feels like it will lead to hurt.

[B]

Yeah, I agree. After you said something in the beginning and he didn't know what to say so much that he had to go ask the other gay person he knew after facts about.

[A]

Yes, can I phone a fag? 50. 50. Do you have a. I need to use a lifeline.

[B]

I need to. I need to.

[A]

Yeah, I have. I need a lifeline, because I don't.

[B]

This is. Even if he did like you back, he's clearly not in a place to be conscious about those feelings, openly acknowledge them. That's not somebody you want to pursue a relationship with. Trust me. He's not even. This isn't even. I'm gay, but don't tell nobody. He's not even saying I'm gay. Like, this isn't even the closet. This.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You don't want to pursue somebody who.

[A]

Straight man.

[B]

Somebody who cannot openly say I'm attracted to the same gender or the same sex or I have queer feelings or whatever. Somebody who can't say that to you, baby, you got to leave that nigga alone. Got to. It's either he is repressed or he's genuinely strict.

[A]

So I don't know why I just had this vision, but I'm comparing it in my head to the time that somebody came and delivered a package to my door. And it was not labeled. And I opened it and it was a bunch of nicotine gum. And I took it back downstairs and I said, this is not for me. This wasn't my order.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Any n. Who cannot out loud say to you, even in just the sanctity and privacy of your friendship, your one.

[B]

On one conversations, they don't have to text it. He can't stand.

[A]

Oh, this actually. I didn't order this.

[B]

Yeah, actually, in high school, you know, I thought I had a crush on a boy, but I never really did nothing with it. He can't even say that. Baby, please, save your energy. Save your feelings.

[A]

I once kissed a guy and I perhaps liked it.

[B]

He's not even giving you none of that. You don't even have a flicker of a reason to pursue this, especially because you have already asked. So I think I understand that your feelings are hurt. You are attached to this person. It's easy to get attached to somebody you yap to on the phone all fucking day, every day. Um, but I don't. I don't think you've fallen in love with him. You don't even really know him.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

It doesn't sound like you really even know him that well. Maybe you do miss him. You miss his presence. You miss having somebody to talk to.

[A]

Yeah, that's so super valid.

[B]

Both of y' all are mail carriers, so. Yeah, y'. All. Y' all walk around all fucking day with your headphones on. That's what my brother does. He's a mail carrier and he loves it because he don't have to talk to people. He can put his headphones on.

[A]

Good evening. Like.

[B]

So. Yeah. You know, that makes the day go by faster when you got somebody that you cool with talking on the phone with. But I think you just gotta kinda sit to yourself and be like, damn, not me being the stereotypical homosexual to develop a crush on the straight friend. Like, this is really.

[A]

And who among us hasn't?

[B]

Who hasn't?

[A]

Yes, we all have that chapter canon event. Yes.

[B]

It happens to us all, baby. You just gotta. Yes. Find your gay friends, go out to a gay club, kiss somebody gay, and in a few weeks or so of not talking to him, you should be feeling a little bit better. Maybe a couple of months. But this will pass and you will.

[A]

Look back and laugh at all.

[B]

You will. You will.

[A]

You were making this nigga a bush queen in your house.

[B]

And it was all in your head.

[A]

That man down to even being like, oh, the co workers are like, y' all go together. Y' all must go together.

[B]

Like, no, you heard that and held onto it hard. You said, well, if other people can maybe see it. Baby, don't do that.

[A]

Do you know how much trade I have probably let pass me by from, like, my late 20s to today? Because I'm not even playing the game with you.

[B]

Yeah, you that. Well, it's quite different from your mouth.

[A]

Our mind stays closed.

[B]

I don't really have an issue with women being like, I like you, but I can't say nothing. That is not really my portion.

[A]

A little bit different.

[B]

Right? That's more of something y' all deal with on the boy side. But you'll. You'll be fine, baby. Just stop talking to him, stop looking him up on social media or whatever else. Occupy your mind with something else and you'll be okay.

[A]

If this nigga work out or something.

[B]

You need to mute him. Mute him on Instagram or whatever until you get over these feelings, and then you'll be all right. But don't ask again. You already got your answer.

[A]

Yeah, you did.

[B]

Okay, good luck.

[A]

But you got somebody else answer. But either way, the answer is.

[B]

The fact that he had to go ask somebody else.

[A]

He wanted to respond correctly.

[B]

You don't know how to turn niggas down. You're like, I never had to do this before.

[A]

Like, how that'll tell you straight?

[B]

Cause he wants to believe. He said, maybe if I type it all out, Crystal and conferee would be like, No, I see a chance. We don't. We don't see it.

[A]

Sorry, baby, he's trying to get rid. Oh.

[B]

Our next letter comes from Mona, who says, I'm a 37 year old black woman and I have a 16 year old son with a deadbeat white man. We were barely out of our teens when we got married, had our son and divorced early. I've been raising our kids solo since he was five months old and getting my son's father to help has been frustrating. He lives across the country, right? And he doesn't call consistently to check on his kid. He's grown to be deeply conservative and has been openly homophobic, so it works out great for me that he's not around my son. He comes from a politically right leaning family who are extremely wealthy and also express the same sense of he inconsistently sends money for child support, but I know he makes good money and has access to his family's money too. On social media, his mom often talks about their trips out to other countries and the new guns and trucks that he's bought. All right, I've taken him to court for child support. Yeah, but he'll pay one or two months and then skip a few and rinse and repeat. My gay brother lives kind of close to my baby dad and sent me a post he found on Reddit pertaining to men seeking men. When I opened.

[A]

You better not play.

[B]

When I opened the post, I had to do a double take.

[A]

Oh my God. Oh my God.

[B]

It was my son's father advertising his body for sex as a bottom seeking a top.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

Yeah, I've heard of closeted conservative men, and while I honestly don't give a what he does with his body, it pisses me off that he has the nerve to be a bigot. And a financially stingy one at that. So I took screenshots of the post.

[A]

Oh boy.

[B]

Now that I know he's secretly trying to hook up with men, I feel like I have some leverage in getting him to help out financially. Our son is in sports, going to prom this year, being social like most teenagers. And while I do all right with my own income, the extra money would help out so much.

[A]

And his O10, right?

[B]

I've thought about letting my son's father know that I know about his secret. I'm not asking for a lot, just what he owes us. My question is, do y' all think it's wrong to exploit this man for financial gain?

[A]

I'm asking the wrong nigga.

[B]

Asking the wrong niggas.

[A]

A deadbeat conservative cracker that has a.

[B]

Okay, I never.

[A]

That is getting plunged on Craigslist.

[B]

Well, okay, I never want to out anybody, but he's an asshole who needs to pay his fair share. Is this illegal? Probably, but what would y' all do in my situation? Thanks, Mona. Well, first of all, I don't know that it's illegal.

[A]

Yeah, I was gonna say you have.

[B]

To ask a lawyer about that. It might be that. That's none of my concern. He owes. He owes child support. He's sometimey about paying it. I am not above having a phone call and being like, you know, posting photos on Reddit is really a choice. And just leaving it at that, and then watching my dollars and cents roll right on in, I'm not above it at all. Is it wrong? Not in my world. Not in the crystal criminal justice system, it's not.

[A]

Yeah, as you were reading this too, I was like, I don't know that this could do anything, but I think I would say to my lawyer, so.

[B]

Hey, just running something by you hypothetically.

[A]

Just real quick, hypogetically, if anything, what could we do with this? But past that, me, myself, not only am I not above it, I'm so goddamn far beneath. Bitch, please. It would almost be mandatory. I am. There is no way that we are ever communicating ever again in life, especially about this child's wellbeing. And why would we ever be communicating again in life? And I don't bring up to you that I know you have your booty hole on display on scruff or sniffees, bitch. It's giving. It's giving. And I would very similarly to how the same tone that you used. You know, it's really. It's a choice. And it's really interesting for someone as homophobic as you to just have your wide open intestines right here on the Internet. For tic. For penis.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, yeah, just something to think about.

[B]

I'm also not above it at all. I probably would have said something to him before me and my gay brother even got off the phone. Soon as I had them screenshots safely in my possession and I booked, marked and saved the post and copied the HTML and all, saved the webpage. I'm doing all of that shit. And then I'm calling you up and I'm saying, you know, it's just so crazy how people can say one thing online, but then secretly, deeply, deeply desire the exact opposite. And it's also crazy that this boy is in football, soccer, the pickleball, badminton, he going to prom him and his little girlfriend. You know, Christmas is coming. It's just all of it I would just be having. I would be full of all these things that are just so amazing and such wonders. And isn't it incredible how things work out sometimes? And then I would sit back and wait for that white man to send me my money. Same routing and account number. Go ahead and give me my things. Yes, immediately.

[A]

You know, it's like, so really funny to think about is that your homophobic tweets and your booty ho are on the same Internet, the same web. It's worldwide. So, like, that's a choice. Yeah, that's just an interesting fact. So is the current price of Air Jordans, of which my baby will be taking at least six pair. And. Girl, are you bitch.

[B]

Girl, get your fucking money from a white man at that.

[A]

Oh, white. That is exactly what I was about. That is exactly what I'm saying.

[B]

Cause you would say, get your money from a nigga. Wait, what? Of course. Of course, get your money.

[A]

You think that you are going to go deadbeat on my black child with your white ass that has money?

[B]

No.

[A]

And be homophobic when my brother gay and not be taking care of your motherfucking son and be trying to get fucked?

[B]

It's not happening.

[A]

And I don't become an absolute villain in your life?

[B]

Oh, girl.

[A]

No, no, not at all, my love. I say, listen, these streets, dog eat dog.

[B]

And you have been taking care of that child solo dolo for 16 fucking years, girl. And him sending child support whenever he want to. Yeah, I sure. I wouldn't make an outright threat because that might be illegal, but I would, you know, just a list of facts. These are just a list of facts that I have, and let's see what happens to those. But, yeah, if you thought somebody's gonna be like, morally, it isn't right. I don't give a fuck. And I don't care about outing homophobes either.

[A]

I sure don't.

[B]

If you want to be publicly homophobic, I'm gonna suggest you not try to have gay sex by soliciting people online. You. I don't give a fuck about your privacy, bitch. I hope you are outed. I hope you do lose your family, because that's the same shit that you want to happen to other people.

[A]

Why were you even recognizable?

[B]

That's whatever website that's showing your face or tattoos on Reddit.

[A]

Like, are you good?

[B]

Okay, girl, yeah, yeah. Go ahead and send me my money. Oh, our last letter comes from Amelia.

[A]

Please update us if you can too.

[B]

Oh, yeah, I would love to know how that goes. Amelia says, Hey, y'. All. My husband and I live in a furnished apartment in New Orleans, and one item of furniture in the house is a piano that used to belong to our landlady's ex. My husband was thrilled about this since he used to take piano lessons as a kid and wanted to learn how to play again. Here's the thing. He has never signed up for lessons or even taken any online. He just.

[A]

No, I didn't play.

[B]

Multiple nights a week, he will sit at the piano and hit the keys trying to tap out a tune. If he manages to find one, he will play it over and over and over again. The result is a cacophony of noise that lasts anywhere from five to 20 minutes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Some days he'll stop and play every couple of hours, all day long, and I absolutely hate it. It's a loud sound in a tiny one bedroom house, so there's no escaping it. I haven't said anything because he really enjoys it. I was hoping one day the owner would want it back, but once he.

[A]

Heard how much I thought the owner was about.

[B]

But once he heard how much my husband loves it, the owner decided to let us hang on to it. Damn. It's been three years and I'm at my wit's end. I don't want to stop him from doing something he enjoys, but the loud, disjointed piano sounds are driving me insane. I just don't understand how he can play all the time and not want to learn or get any better.

[A]

Loud, disjointed.

[B]

Am I being unreasonable? This is.

[A]

She's losing it.

[B]

She is. She can't take it.

[A]

She's fucking losing it.

[B]

This is our first year of marriage and I already feel self conscious that I'm a needy wife. Because I'm very sensitive and emotional, I can be quick to irritation.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

He's also very sensitive, but tends to be more quiet and hesitant to speak up when his feelings are hurt. Is there a way I can ask him to play the piano less often? Or at least learn how to play it well without being mean? Or is this one of those compromises you make in a marriage out of love for your partner? Is there a safe way to burn the piano without getting caught?

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

Huge fan of the show. Love listening to you guys.

[A]

No, there isn't.

[B]

Thanks, Amelia.

[A]

Okay, this is hilarious. So, for me, this is too. I see both sides. Yeah, in a way. Sort of. I see your Side Emelia, because what did she say, like marriage thing that you learned to get over, however you described it? Yeah, there are lots of them that exist in any relationship, marriage, long term relationship, but noise is one. I think that is tricky because you are human, you're a human being and I think for a lot of people you probably can just get used to it where certain noises, especially if they are consistent or they come at a certain time where eventually you just almost stop hearing it. Yeah, I don't know that that is going to be the case with something as that can get as loud as a piano in a one bedroom.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So my thing is for you, I would definitely say not to overthink it in the sense of like, well, am I tripping or is it something to get over? Like it's as much your home as it is his home and you both should be as comfortable as possible in the home.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now that doesn't mean that you don't try to. What's the compromise now for him? I get that he is into the piano, that he is trying to like learn keys, chords, that sort of thing. But there are so many ways to do that with assistance that will A aid in the learning journey experience and B not make your wife want to strangle you when you aren't looking because she is tired of hearing bad Phantom of the Opera. Like it's not just loud, it's bad. So it's off. So my suggestions from here are like two and a half things. One birthday, Christmas. That baby is getting a book. He's getting an app that come with a book. He's getting like, I'll buy him a year year subscription on. There has to be some sort of app or video app service. Yeah, someone will give you tutoring like over the phone or whatever. He is getting that and I think it would be ridiculous to be like, oh no, I don't need it. You do. You don't know how to play the piano.

[B]

This isn't a suggestion.

[A]

People that do go like still have coaches and trainers like you do. You, you, you need it real bad. So that would be my first one because it's a, it's not as like argumentative. You can just slip that in there if you haven't already be like, oh, here. And hopefully he takes it to it. If he doesn't.

[B]

This isn't optional.

[A]

The other option is just direct out a listen. Can we choose a time that you do the piano when I'm out? Can we choose a time? Yes, you do the piano. Can We. Because with every bit of love that I have for you, I can't do it no more. So, like, let's come up with something until you get better.

[B]

Come on, mama, let's research, because I.

[A]

Can'T do this anymore. The last thing I thought of while you were reading the letter was to call the owner and be like, look, this nigga is driving me absolutely insane. Now, if you want an express pass for the heavenly gates, do me this quick favor and just act like you need this piano back. I'll help you come up with a lie right now. Just act like you have to have this piano back, and I will be on the other end of it. Please just give me this solid. I love that. Whatever you need. I think that's all I got.

[B]

I would literally. I would call that, man. Like, I'll give you $50 to take your piano. Ah, it's crazy that. So I. I love that you came up with the compromise of maybe him playing. She put play in quotation. She did him banging on that shit when you out of the house. I think that's a fair compromise. I was also gonna suggest you just getting him the lessons anyway or the online tutorials or whatever it is. Like, I'm just gonna help you out, babe. But you do need to tell him. I can deal with, like, practicing a song and getting it wrong. You know, it takes some time, and then you start to get it right, but you don't get to that point ever. Like, you just be over there mashing keys and seeing what's sounding like, y'.

[A]

All, let's go.

[B]

Playing heart and soul like, you done compose something. All you niggas with the boom. Y' all really think y' all doing something. As a pianist, I feel for him. I really do. I took piano lessons as a child. I, too, would love to get back into it, but, you know, not in a New York City apartment. My neighbors would be like, we're gonna come together to make sure you get evicted. Actually, like, it's just. It's inconsiderate. But anyway, I was gonna say maybe soundproof headphones for you, but, yep, that might not be that effective. I don't know how effective those will be.

[A]

Depends on the line.

[B]

And you would have to be playing something in the headphones, Otherwise it would just be muffled, the other sound.

[A]

But.

[B]

Yeah, if he's not open to taking lessons and he's not open to only playing when you're out of the house, then you need to scheme with Todd and find a way to get that Piano out of your house.

[A]

No, literally, I'll just start dropping gravel in that bitch. Just like, oh, what's wrong with that?

[B]

But yeah, the biggest issue is that you have told him how you feel. You've just been dealing with it. So the resentment is growing and you're getting more and more shitty about it on the inside. So just something like, babe, can you seriously consider taking lessons? I heard about this online class where you can. You don't even have to leave the house and somebody will just zoom right on into this living room and help you.

[A]

I think, I think rejecting that is insane.

[B]

I do too.

[A]

Like, do you want to learn the piano? But only by teaching yourself? I don't think any. Like.

[B]

And no shade, New Orleans has no shortage of musicians offering lessons. It's actually. You're actually contributing to your local economy by going to find some black man in the jazz bar and asking him to sit down with you once a week.

[A]

And you get a quicker ride to your destination of becoming a skilled piano player.

[B]

Right? And bonus, I don't want to divorce you. Right.

[A]

I'm not going to leave you or kill you in your. I just feel like, win, win.

[B]

Yeah. Because the thing about the piano is that when it sounds good, everybody loves it.

[A]

Everyone.

[B]

Nobody's like, oh, cut that shit down. When it sounds good, you want that person to play all day. When you are just banging on the keys like a three year old, everybody wants you to wrap that shit up.

[A]

That's like, what is wrong with this person right now? Has to be a child. Because even when I was a kid, I'm sure the same thing with you, like what you just described when you were learning a piece and you would play it and it would sound great for 15, 20 seconds, then you maybe hit a wrong note. Yeah, nobody gives a fuck about that. You go, oh. And then you go back or whatever.

[B]

You have to practice. That's part of getting better.

[A]

Emelia said, loud, disjoint. He's not even practicing anything.

[B]

And it's been three years of him just banging around on that thing.

[A]

Girl.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, you gotta tell me.

[A]

Cause like Krystal said, it's bothering me. You are going to just hold onto that whatchamacallit, resentment. And that's why I was saying about noise and humanity. Like you could tell yourself this is one of those things that you just get over or whatever. There will come a day where that motherfucker, if you don't do anything, where that motherfucker is hitting on that piano and you go, oh, Nigga, but you. You just snap. Then you're going to. And the next thing you know, you're having two years worth of art.

[B]

Right? Right?

[A]

Or you know what I mean? Because you didn't say anything or do anything because you were afraid to tell this nigga that he sex at the piano.

[B]

Well, he does.

[A]

And someone should.

[B]

You know, babe, learning is just part of the process. I would love to hear you try to get a new song. Right? I would love to hear you learn something. Like, in three years, he could have actually gotten to be pretty decent at the piano. But because he doesn't have a teacher, he's just over there clunking shit out. Music theory is actually really important. He needs to learn his scales. He needs to learn.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

His notes. It'll be easier for him to pick out melodies on the piano once he knows what he's doing. Even him just freestyling is gonna sound better once he knows what he's doing. But he does need that basic education.

[A]

Cause there are plenty of producers and composers and stuff who, when they're brainstorming or, you know, making music, they do something similar. They're just fuck around. But when you don't know how this works, you have no sense of musical theory or composition.

[B]

You don't even know the notes.

[A]

If you get there right.

[B]

A little.

[A]

Bit of work, tutoring, lessons, it'll be far easier for you to create melodies and not have to sign divorce parents.

[B]

Right? Right.

[A]

Cause you ain't getting on Amelia's goddamn ass.

[B]

Good luck, girl. Well, good luck.

[A]

I love women who date men.

[B]

Aren't they fun and are like, someone.

[A]

Should tell him this very obvious thing. And he's driving me mad. Like I want to claw out my own eyes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm not going to say anything because I don't want to lose him. Someone should.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Say something.

[B]

I really do believe I would not have been able to last more than three days without saying, listen, you either finna call somebody to help you learn how to do that, or we getting rid of it. And I put that on everything. And I put that on everything. Please don't fucking play with me, nigga. I'm not playing with you. Cause I'm not playing with you.

[A]

Day two in the house. I hear that piano and I'm like, okay, so look.

[B]

Okay, so, boom.

[A]

Look, this is how we're gonna do this. You are not gonna touch, like, any of those ivories until we get you a coach. And that is what I know.

[B]

And it's nothing wrong with needing One. Most people do. We're not prodigy.

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[B]

There's, like five of us worldwide who are born knowing how to play instruments and don't need no help. And everybody else needs a teacher.

[A]

So singing ass singers have vocal coaches.

[B]

They do. They do. The best you've ever heard, have coaches. So good luck talking to your husband. But this. I feel like y' all should be able to work this out pretty easily.

[A]

Just, it's mostly cute.

[B]

Approach him about it when he's not playing.

[A]

Yes. Oh, my God. Thank you for playing that out. That is a key piece of advice.

[B]

Yeah. Before he sits down at that piano, soon as he start to pull that bench out, be like, actually, wait. Just. If you could just hold.

[A]

Can I talk to you real quick?

[B]

And then watch. In six months, he's going to sound so good.

[A]

Yeah. Everyone's going to be so happy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he's gonna go out into the community and play.

[B]

Yes. And then he started making a little money on the side and making the children happy and doing free concerts in the park and all kinds of stuff.

[A]

They were like, oh, you must have been playing your whole life. He's gonna give you absolutely no credit. It's gonna be great.

[B]

Good luck, Amelia. Let us know how it goes. That's gonna wrap up the letters this week. If you have a question for us, send it to askthereadmail.com. we'll be right back.

[A]

Ah, the sounds of an Etsy holiday.

[B]

Now, that's special. Want to hear it again? Get original and affordable gifts from small shops on Etsy.

[A]

For gifts that say, I get, you shop Etsy. We are back, and it is now time for the read. I will get started because I do not really have one. I'm just going to say to all of you beautiful people out there and you ugly ones, I. I desperately need for y' all to start making your own decisions when it comes to your creative interests, artistic and interests, entertainment interests. First of all, most of you bitches have no taste. Music, movies, television, just, like, across the board. And that's fine. I think most people don't. The consumer is mostly a sheep, however. Y' all refuse to read, but you'll listen to a show called the Read. Y' all refuse to, like, make your own sort of creative decisions. Give certain creative arts a chance or a rewind. But you will log into a Chinese app and let it tell you what you like.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Or choose what you want to watch for you. And you may not be aware of how badly it is decimating the value of entertainment yet. But you will. You will. The girlies aren't even standing up on Tan. I guess you had your Olivia and you had your Analise and you had your Issa. And so the girlies are not even giving a fuck if you know Whoopi Goldberg name at the Oscars or whatever. Like, nobody you just, you know, fed and waiting for whatever trip Madea about to go on again. And it's like, it's. It's. The world is shit. And sometimes you want to laugh and sometimes you want to hate watch. Because I guess y' all like doing that show day time. I urge you to just make a decision for yourself. I like this because Blank, y' all ain't even watching TV no more. You're just watching all the clips of a TV show on its TikTok and then talking to people who actually watch the damn show like you watch it, too. I just really save media because it sucks. All you want to watch is Baddies in Beauty and Black. Oh, well, that's it. Somebody got a spoon feed you centers. Okay, well, good luck. I'm finished.

[B]

Okay. I don't really know where that was going, but it seems like you had a clear direction in mind.

[A]

So.

[B]

Lala Anthony, come to the front, please. I want you to explain yourself and do it in. In a way that a fifth grader could understand why you decided to post on your Instagram stories yesterday before the election and say it's election day here in New York City. Please get out and vote. It's a photo of you and Andrew Cuomo. I was shocked as well. It's a photo of her with Andrew Cuomo. And the caption continues. Let's go. Andrew Cuomo at New York Governor Cuomo. I've known him for years. He's passionate on criminal justice reform, and I've seen firsthand the kind of leader he can be. We need him. Your vote, your choice. I encourage everybody to get out there and make your voice heard. Vote.

[A]

It did, right? It damn sure did.

[B]

She deleted that very quickly after.

[A]

All, right? Least you could do this.

[B]

But the race was called for, Mom Donnie. No later than 9:45. Mind you, the polls close at 9.

[A]

Yeah. So they're like, girl, we can go by 9:30.

[B]

Lala had deleted that shit off her Instagram because who, first of all, who told you that you, Lala Anthony, best known to old people as somebody who used to work on MTV and to young people as Kyan's mama. Who told you that your opinion had any Weight as far as politics are concerned, whether it's New York or federal or anything else. Who told you that the people were looking to Lala Anthony for her guidance on what to do in this election? Were you one of the many, many people that Cuomo paid to say something publicly about him, to endorse him publicly? Because other than that, it's really not making sense. I understand Lala considers herself to be Kardashian adjacent these days. God knows. Kim, Right? Right. And she actually looks, if you.

[A]

This photo of her, I've seen her in ages.

[B]

She looks so.

[A]

I'm not interested.

[B]

She looks like. I almost said North Kardashian, but she looks like, you know, north all grown up. She. Her face even looks like Kim's at this point. But nobody asked you, girl. And that goes for the rest of you across the country who have been making all these comments about, well, if you don't like New York City with your socialist Muslim hijabist or the Sharia law and all, you are gonna have to pray three times a day and carry around a little rug and no more pork. And all the y' all been saying, Tommy Lauren, not my pork. Chill my bacon. First of all, none of your things are under threat.

[A]

They none.

[B]

Never have been, they never will be.

[A]

You might have more of them.

[B]

More things, almost certainly. But Tommy Lauren was like you people in your. In New York City. Don't come running to our beautiful red cities after this.

[A]

Babes, babes.

[B]

Girly pops.

[A]

What a dingbag.

[B]

Governor Abbott down there in Texas said he was going to impose a 100% tariff on anybody moving from Texas to.

[A]

New York City, which that doesn't even.

[B]

How even, girl. Fuck you.

[A]

Right?

[B]

How.

[A]

How would you.

[B]

Not to be outdone, Oklahoma's governor also posted and said government doesn't create prosperity. And residents from New York City are about to learn that the hard way. If you want to experience freedom and you want to watch your business grow, get to Oklahoma as soon as you can.

[A]

They are plucked.

[B]

Have.

[A]

They're plucked.

[B]

Y' all have really taken leave of your senses. Oklahoma and Texas and all of the other red cities and states. One thing about y', all, y' all have always been there. Meaning we have had the option of moving somewhere else for years. For years. We know that it's more expensive to live in New York City than anywhere else. We know that is crazy that a $2,300 one bedroom apartment is considered affordable housing in New York City. Okay? We know that. We know that. People hear $2,300 for a one bedroom in Astoria and go, wow, what a great deal. We know that, okay? We know that for $2,300, we could be living in your suburb. And literally, when Mom Donnie said that during the debate, I was like, okay, now wait a minute. 2300, not bad. And Cuomo was like, you're taking an apartment from somebody poor who really needs it, bitch. $2,300 is not poor. People rent. That's how rich and out of touch he is. But anyway, we know that we can go live in some suburb in one of these states and have a McMansion and have to drive every fucking where and have a quieter life and a slower life, maybe even a more peace life. Like, we. We know that there are so many great things about living where y' all live. We don't want to live there. Do you understand? I have seen some of the worst days of my life in New York City. I've literally been homeless in New York City. And I would pick New York City over going back home any fucking day. On my worst day here, on the hardest day here, I would pick New York. This is where we want to be. We're not scared of Muslims. Can you believe it? We're not scared of brown people simply for being brown. We're not scared of immigrants simply because they're from another country. Every country is here. Two city blocks in Brooklyn has more diversity than the entire southwestern region of the United States. States. Everybody's here. We like it like that. You don't have to worry about if anybody leaves, it'll be people who couldn't afford it, and they probably not going there anyway. It's natives who are getting pushed out because of how much things cost. And with the billionaires lying but threatening to leave all the same, a lot of people are like, well, damn, maybe if MOMI actually makes the city affordable, I can come back home. A lot of people didn't want to leave New York anyway. They got pushed out because of the incredible greed that's been in power in this city for so long. We don't want to be there. We know about your red cities, okay? We know about them, and we don't like it. We like it up here with the chaos and living on top of each other, and it's apartment buildings fucking everywhere in the city that never sleeps. And the train is always running and it's loud, and sometimes you go on, a crackhead is maybe gonna spit in your direction on your way to work, and we're gonna all complain about the MTA together. And we like it like that. We don't want to be where y' all are. We could have been did that. It's not. If you can make it in Fort Worth, you can make it anywhere. That's not saying thank you so much. Everybody calm your pussies down. Kevin Stitt, Greg Abbott, Tommy, Lauren, and all the rest of you bitches who got so much to say about New York City. You don't live here. You don't have to worry about what we do in here because it has absolutely no effect on you. Well, it actually does have an effect on you, whether you realize it or not, but not in the way you thinking of. You the one so scared to live around brown people. You the one hear a language that you don't recognize and want to go call the police. We not like that. And like I said earlier, the spirit of this city does not live in the pockets of the extremely wealthy. They can leave and New York will be fine. We'll figure it out. We don't need them hoes and we don't need y'. All. Y' all need us.

[A]

Us.

[B]

So that's it for me. Also, shout out to whichever started the Hot Girls for Cuomo thing and didn't buy the URL so somebody else did and had it redirect to the State of New York Office of Attorney General's report of the sexual harassment allegations against Andrew Cuomo that came out in 2021. If you go to Hot Girls for Cuomo right now, it will immediately redirect. It will immediately redirect to an Adobe PDF where you can read the Attorney General's official report of the multiple allegations of sexual assault against Andrew Cuomo. The fact that we. The fact that we even had a sexual predator on the ballot next to Mom, Donnie is. I mean, I was disgusted anyway. I'm sure that's why he didn't run in the last mayoral election. But I was like, surely y' all have not forgotten. They had. They had. It's actually really gross how many people did vote for him. But I'm focusing on the positive right now. My one. And we. We're moving forward for a New York that is better for the people. It's the people that makes this city great. It is the regular, everyday people that keep this moving and make it a place worth living. It's not the wealthy. It isn't. We will not miss it.

[A]

This investigation report is 168 pages.

[B]

Of course Trump endorsed this motherfucker. Of course he did. Trump endorsed Cuomo. The day before the election, Cuomo was like, no, he didn't mean that. He just be talking. No, he meant it. Birds of a fucking feather, girl. Y' all just alike. So. But anyway, yeah, don't worry about New York. We're Gucci. Don't worry about us. Worry about your homes. Worry about your city's towns and villages. Worry about the children in your community, in your neighborhood going without food because their parents voted for this asshole who's cutting off snap. Worry about your heating costs this winter. Thank you so much. And that is going to wrap up this week's episode of the Read. Find us on social media. Hisistheread. Any other news or announcements from you this week, Kid Fury?

[A]

First of all, these reviews for this new Ryan Murphy show are so bad that I almost wanna watch it.

[B]

Oh, the Kim Kardashian show?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, I said I'm not looking at that. You can bring all the black people you want. I'm not looking at it.

[A]

Just for the mere fact that you have, I don't know, Naomi Watts, Kim Kardashian show, niece, like. And in all the promo, she's in the middle. It has a 19 on Medicare.

[B]

Oh, the girls hate it. They hate it. Damn.

[A]

Variety 10, Time 10, USA Today 25. New magazine gave it a 30. The Guardian gave it a zero.

[B]

Rotten Tomatoes gave it a zero.

[A]

Dangly, incomprehensibly, existentially, existentially terrible.

[B]

Oh, now I have to look at it.

[A]

This is what I'm like. It almost makes me want to look at it because they, they, everyone is eating it. All's Fair is a clumsy, condescending take on a rah rah girl boss. Feminism half baked, even by the standards of an overextended God damn.

[B]

Okay, okay. This sounds like I can't even finish one whole episode. Damn. And the promo for that has been heavy too.

[A]

Times say you don't have to worry about Kardashian holding her own among Khloe, Nash, Betts, Watts and the rest. No one's performance in this show is what you would convincingly describe as good. They match each other in hysteria and shallowness. So that's all the overacting can't conceal how underwritten the characters are.

[B]

Okay, right. I was about to say if they're all shitting the bitch, then it's the directing and the writing. Yeah, because those are some good actresses in there with Kim Kardashian. So.

[A]

Yeah, no, I was thinking it's the.

[B]

Direction and the writing. Yeah.

[A]

Most of the commentary seems to be about the writing. Wow. I'd say in many ways, all's fair is simply bad. I forgot how much I love when someone reading bad reviews or someone hates a movie or something. You should take one or three.

[B]

You should just take one for the team and watch it and let us know.

[A]

Oh, Nazi. Okay. After what I just said, it would make no sense. There's literally nothing that can get me to watch anything led by.

[B]

No, that's fair.

[A]

And I did see the trailer. There's a part in this. In the trailer, I guess, in the series where Sarah Paulson literally dresses up like Kim Kardashian as a way to mock her with the wig, the makeup.

[B]

Okay, Yeah, I won't be okay.

[A]

You can actually kiss my ass.

[B]

I tried.

[A]

She probably gonna make this right.

[B]

I'm. Oh, way too much. Way too much.

[A]

KidFury.com, patreon.com Kifury for more of me. Love you all very much. We'll see you next week when we do the things.

[B]

Yes, Chrystal's Couch coming to you on Tuesday, 11 11. Follow us online at Crystal's Couch and take care of yourselves, girls. We'll see y' all next time.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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