Today we have an audience caller episode for you and I am so grateful that Melanie wrote in because this conversation genuinely opened my mind in ways I wasn't expecting.

Melanie is 34 years old, openly polyamorous, and has been practicing BDSM for 15 years. Her husband knows about her boyfriend. Her family knows she's in multiple relationships at once. And after a long-term relationship where she and her partner pushed the limits of BDSM together, she did something I had never heard of before: she created a detailed shared document — complete with a pain tolerance scale, body location charts, aftercare provisions, and a step-by-step guide to helping her reach "subspace" — and began sharing it with her sexual partners so they could learn the proper way to be with her.

In this conversation, we get into all of it:

Her sexual awakening from childhood through college, and how she first found her way into the BDSM community
What BDSM actually is beyond what 50 Shades of Grey showed us — and what people in that world are truly chasing
What "subspace" feels like (hint: she compared it to a runner's high, a cold plunge, and giving birth all at once)
The wildest experiences she's had, including a night at a BDSM dungeon in Atlanta with an audience of 40 to 50 people
How polyamory works when you're genuinely, deeply in love with your husband — and how she navigated telling her parents
Why she sees jealousy as a "pointer emotion" and what that's taught her about herself
What she'd recommend to anyone who is BDSM-curious or poly-curious and doesn't know where to start

What I loved most about talking to Melanie is that she approaches all of this with so much intention, communication, and self-awareness. She described herself as a "sex nerd," and I think that framing genuinely changed how I understood this whole world. It's not what most people picture — it's thoughtful, it's deeply personal, and it's fascinating.

Follow Melanie: https://www.instagram.com/millicent.kent/

Sponsors:

SKIMS: Shop SKIMS Fits Everybody collection at https://www.skims.com/realstuff #skimspartner

Watch this episode in video form on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjmevEcbh5h5FEX0pazPEtN86t7eb2OgX

To apply to be a guest on the show, visit luciefink.com/apply and send us your story.

I also want to extend a special thank you to East Love for the show's theme song, Rolling Stone.

Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealstuffpod

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The Woman Who Loves Being Spanked