In this thoughtful episode, host Tina Gilbertson offers a fresh perspective on a question many parents of young adults wrestle with: How do we help our adult children become independent — and how do we know when to step back versus step in?

Drawing on the universal reality that we all have dependency needs throughout our lives, Tina makes the case that genuine independence doesn't come from being left to figure everything out alone. Instead, it grows from the experience of being able to truly depend on others.

The ultimate goal isn't total self-sufficiency, but interdependence — the ability to both lean on others and be someone others can lean on.

Tina also invites parents to look at their own dependency needs and consider how those may be shaping their adult child's struggles with independence or reliance on them.

When the way forward feels unclear, she offers a practical guiding principle: Meet the need that's strongest in the moment, stay open to small, unexpected steps toward independence, and trust that balance between dependence and independence can return over time.

For evidence-based information and tools to repair the parent-adult child relationship, read host Tina Gilbertson's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. https://amzn.to/2ZhetMe

Reconnection Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join.

Follow Tina Gilbertson on Substack

EPISODE LINKS:

https://traumatherapistnetwork.com

https://www.psychologytoday.com

https://www.goodtherapy.org