Frontier Gentleman and Dangerously Yours

Summary

The Relic Radio Show: “Frontier Gentleman” & “Dangerously Yours”

Release Date: October 14, 2025
Host: RelicRadio.com
Theme: This episode transports listeners back to the golden age of radio with two classic stories—one a gritty Western, the other a swashbuckling romantic adventure. The host curates rare audio relics, exploring the enduring power of storytelling and performance from radio’s heyday.

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Segment 1: “Frontier Gentleman” – The Funeral of Cole Williams

[00:31 – 22:11]

Main Theme

An English reporter for The London Times, J.B. Kendall, arrives in post-war Missouri to investigate the rumored death of Cole Williams—a notorious guerrilla fighter. As a crowd gathers, Kendall unravels the identity and legacy of a man haunted by violence, hated by many, and mourned by few.

Key Discussion Points & Plot

• Setting and Setup ([00:31]): Kendall hears of Cole Williams, thought to be dead, now dying in Batesville, Missouri. The enigmatic outlaw’s identity is a local mystery.

• Interview with the Sheriff ([01:58]):

  • Kendall tries to reach Williams for an interview but is stonewalled by the sheriff, who is waiting for Williams to be identified by someone who knew him.
  • Williams lives as “Bill Adams” in semi-seclusion, crippled with a bad hip.
  • The sheriff describes community skepticism and the dramatic arrival of Williams, left outside the sheriff’s office with a note.

  Notable Quote:
  “I ain't wearing him out on no newspaper man.” – Sheriff ([02:08])

• Town Swells with Curiosity ([06:14]): Army officers, important officials, and townspeople assemble, sensing significance in Williams’ impending death.

• Kendall Hires a Local Helper ([07:10]):

  • Bandy, a quirky, pragmatic local, is recruited to carry news of Williams’ demise to Kansas City—if he can stay sober.
  • Humorous Moment:
    “If he hangs on the next week, we’re smack into my drinking month.” – Bandy ([08:08])

• Encounter with a Widow ([09:45]):

  • Kendall’s search for witnesses leads to a somber woman who believes Williams murdered her husband.
  • Emotional Testimony:
    “Twelve years I’ve waited to see Cole Williams dead…It’s terrible to wish to see a man die, but I can’t help wishing it were him.” – Widow ([11:00])
  • She ultimately cannot confirm the dying man’s identity.

• Confirmation of Williams’ Identity ([13:26]): Bandy rushes in to announce that Williams has been positively identified.

• Interview with Shad Barlow, Williams’ Associate ([15:33]):

  • Barlow, who helped bring Williams to town, reflects with grief and nostalgia.
  • Reveals the roots of Williams’ violence:
    His brother’s love of flowers was crushed—literally—by Jayhawk raiders, setting Williams on a lifelong vendetta.
  • Notable Quote:
    “There’s two sides to everything. Don’t let these Cayuse killers stampede you.” – Shad Barlow ([20:07])

• Deathwatch Scene ([20:30]):

  • The town waits in silence as Williams dies. His mother mourns by his side, insisting on his innocence.
  • Touching Dialogue:
    “He was the best boy mother could ask.” – Cole’s Mother ([21:21])

• Aftermath:

  • The crowd outside falls silent; a life defined by violence ends with little closure, but palpable tension and catharsis for the community.

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Segment 2: “Dangerously Yours” – Monsieur Beaucaire

[24:51 – End]

Main Theme

A romantic, comedic adventure set among French royalty, “Monsieur Beaucaire” follows a runaway prince, Louis Philippe, who assumes the identity of a barber to escape an unwanted marriage and win the heart of the beautiful Lady Mary Carlisle in England.

Key Discussion Points & Plot

• Royal Rebellion ([24:51]):
  • Prince Louis Philippe refuses an arranged marriage and escapes imprisonment, seeking love on his own terms.
  • Playful Banter:
    “I want someone who will love me … without knowing who I am or what I am. My boy, such a woman never lived.” – Louis Philippe & King ([25:45])
• A Barber in Disguise ([27:00]):
  • Enlisting Pierre Molyneux as his companion, the prince becomes a barber in England, aiming to meet Lady Mary.
  • Through manipulation and wit, he coerces the unscrupulous Duke of Winterset to introduce him to Mary under false noble pretenses.
• Romantic Intrigue at the Ball ([34:00]):
  • The prince, disguised as the Duke of Chateaurian, woos Lady Mary with charm, poetry, and a request for her red rose.
  • Memorable Flirtation:
    “By tomorrow night … will you go driving with me?” – Beaucaire ([36:06])
    “I ask a favor. May I have that small red rose you wear in your hair?” ([36:40])
• Rivalry and Duel ([37:18]):
  • The jealous Winterset plots to expose and eliminate Beaucaire.
  • Both men declare their intentions to win Lady Mary “at any risk” ([37:20]).
  • A swordfight ensues on a moonlit road; Beaucaire is wounded but defiant and heartbroken when his “barber” status is revealed.
  • Dramatic Moment:
    “Sometimes a red rose comes very high, but the rose she gave me seemed more beautiful than if it turned out to be…” – Beaucaire ([45:42])
• The Truth Revealed & Happy Resolution ([46:12]):
  • Lady Mary ultimately chooses love over status, returning to Beaucaire regardless of his station.
  • The masquerade is brought to an end when Beaucaire’s true royal identity is unveiled, humiliating the Duke of Winterset.
  • Touching Declaration:
    “I know it doesn’t matter whether you’re a duke or a barber, because the only kingdom I really want is in your arms.” – Lady Mary ([47:24])
• Finale:
  • Beaucaire and Lady Mary unite, with comic relief from Molyneux about the perils of being a barber’s companion.
  • Courtly titles, dashing swords, and a fairytale ending wrap the tale as adventure itself (“Dangerously Yours”) invites listeners to a new story next week.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

From “Frontier Gentleman”

• On the legacy of violence:
  “He was just about the biggest killer Missouri ever had.” – Bandy ([07:44])
• On cycles of revenge:
  “There was a war out here … Dead men fighting through their sons.” – Shad Barlow ([17:00])
• Humanizing the villain:
  “Boys, if it happens to me in this next fight, do me a favor and throw me in a hole in Kansas. That’ll teach ‘em.” – Cole Williams (as remembered by Barlow, [19:34])
• On grief and closure:
  “12 years I’ve waited to see Cole Williams dead. 12 years. I was just sure this would be him.” – Widow ([11:00])

From “Dangerously Yours”

• On searching for love:
  “I want someone who will love me … without knowing who I am or what I am.” – Louis Philippe ([25:45])
• Romantic longing:
  “I’m a man looking at my last love.” – Beaucaire ([40:27])
• Love above titles:
  “The only kingdom I really want is in your arms. … The only title I really want is the title Madame Beaucaire.” – Lady Mary ([47:24])
• Comic relief:
  “Ever since he met you, his barber…He’s gone right out the window. I have almost lost my entire beard.” – Molyneux ([46:27])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:31] – Introduction to “Frontier Gentleman”; Cole Williams’ legend

• [02:19] – Interview with the sheriff; details about Williams’ life

• [08:08] – Bandy’s “drinking month” conundrum; comic interlude

• [10:10] – Widow’s moving account of violence in Madison City

• [13:26] – Confirmation: The dying man is Cole Williams

• [15:33] – Interview with Shad Barlow; insights on Williams’ past and motivations

• [20:30] – Williams’ death: final scene and community reaction

• [24:51] – Start of “Dangerously Yours: Monsieur Beaucaire”

• [25:45] – Prince’s philosophy on love

• [34:00] – Beaucaire dances and flirts with Lady Mary

• [36:40] – Red rose, symbol of affection and trust

• [37:18] – Rivalry escalates; duel is set

• [45:42] – Beaucaire’s poetic longing after heartbreak

• [47:24] – Lady Mary’s ultimate declaration of love

• [49:11] – Royal identity revealed; love triumphs

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Episode Tone & Style

Maintaining the essence of old-time radio dramatizations, both stories balance suspense, dry wit, and emotional resonance:

• Frontier Gentleman: Somber, reflective, and nuanced in its portrayal of historical violence and regret.
• Dangerously Yours: Lively, romantic, filled with swashbuckling dialogue and comedic repartee.

Listeners are treated to a nostalgic, richly performed dual bill, capturing radio at its most captivating.

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A must-listen for fans of classic radio drama, history, and romance!

Transcript

[A]

This is the Relic Radio Show.

[B]

Old Time Radio Entertainment.

[C]

Still standing the test of time.

[B]

From relicradio.com.

[D]

In Missouri, I saw a thousand people come to witness a living man's funeral.

[C]

Frontier gentlemen here with an Englishman's account of life and death in the West. As a reporter for the London Times, he writes his colorful and unusual stories. But as a man with a gun, he lives and becomes a part of the violent years in the New territories. Now starring John Dana, this is the story of J.B. kendall, Frontier Gentleman.

[D]

Prior to the war between the States, Cole Williams and his band of Missouri irregulars terrorized Kansas. He was reported to have been mortally wounded in his last monstrous raid. But his body was never found. So when I heard that a man said to be Cole Williams was dying in the river town of Batesville, Missouri, I traveled 300 miles in four days on the chance that I might get to talk to him. I found the man under personal guard at the sheriff in a room at the hotel.

[A]

No, mister, I'm not letting anybody in that room don't belong here.

[D]

But Sheriff, I'm a newspaper correspondent.

[A]

It don't make no difference to me.

[D]

My name is Kendall. I write for the London Times.

[A]

It still don't cut anything with me. I ain't wearing him out on no newspaper man.

[D]

Then will you answer a few questions?

[A]

You ask them. We'll see.

[D]

Is the man really Cole Williams?

[A]

Don't know yet. We all know this fell around here is Bill Adams. We're waiting for someone who knew Williams to make sure.

[D]

You say you've known him as Bill Adams. Does that mean that he has been.

[A]

Living in Batesville, 12 miles east of here. He's been working him some ground out there. Enough to keep himself fed.

[D]

I see.

[A]

Comes down about twice a year. Hard for him, you know.

[D]

How's that?

[A]

He's crippled.

[D]

Oh.

[A]

Got a bad hip. Edit ever since he first come here. Barely get on a horse.

[D]

How that happened?

[A]

Never said. Always kept himself, I should think.

[D]

A sheriff?

[A]

No choir. Oh, you're wrong there. Next question.

[D]

How old a man is he?

[A]

Dock and I figure about 38, maybe 40. He won't tell us nothing.

[D]

Well, this rumor that he is Cole Williams, just how did that start?

[A]

Somebody left him outside my office four nights ago.

[D]

What?

[A]

That's right. He was real sick and they just rode off and left him there. He'd stuck a note in his pocket saying he's cold. Williams? We don't know any more than that.

[D]

Do you have any idea who brought him?

[A]

We suspect a writer who's been seen going to Adam's place. Every now and again, man probably come calling and found Adams where he is.

[D]

Is it true this man is dying?

[A]

That's what the doc says. It's the rats. Rots, swelling on the side of his chest. Sore looking.

[D]

Oh, what does the doctor say it is?

[A]

The rats. You don't know any more about it than I do.

[D]

Sheriff, may I? Would you let me in to ask him a few questions?

[A]

Oh, I won't. But why are you through with me now?

[D]

Well, he's able to talk, isn't he?

[A]

Sometimes it ain't that.

[D]

Well, then, may I just look at him?

[A]

Did you know Williams?

[D]

No.

[A]

Then you ain't going in. I figured to keep him alive. Only persons to get in there is going to be them who knew Williams. I got important people coming. Official people. If he really is cold, Williams, there will be a lot of questions they'll want answered.

[D]

Army men, I presume?

[A]

Them and others.

[D]

Officials from certain towns in Kansas.

[A]

Them in particular. Esther. I figure a lot of people from over there gonna want to know why he done them things. Why he and his men tore up their towns.

[D]

Do you think he'll tell?

[A]

Don't know. But he's dying. Maybe that'll make a difference. No, sir, Mr. Kendall. I'm gonna keep him alive to find out. You get on downstairs. The rest of the boys.

[B]

Of all naming filters cigarettes Kent filters best Kent filters best it makes good sense when you smoke Kent Kent filters best of all of the brands of cigarettes Kent tastes the best Kent tastes the best A richer taste than all the rest Kent filters best it makes good sense when you smoke Kent of all he filter cigarettes Kent builder's best.

[D]

The town of Batesville was beginning to swarm with people, some coming from as far away as Dodge City. In response to the rumor of Williams, I felt myself fortunate in securing the last available room at the hotel. My window looked out onto the street and I saw a group of army officers ride up, dismount and go into the hotel. The first of the sheriff's important men had arrived, knowing that if the man turned out to be Williams, my story would be of the greatest interest to American papers. Beside my readers in England, I decided to find a man to take my copy to Kansas City, the nearest wire terminus. In the saloon I found a grinning little man with two of the requirements I needed, one of them being that he was drinking pure water. He followed me to my room to talk over my offer of a job. My name is Kendall. What's yours?

[A]

Bandy Is All I ever heard. What kind of job you got for me, Mr.

[D]

Brandy? I presume you're aware that a man said to be Cole Williams is dying in this hotel.

[A]

I heard it on the trail. Thought I'd come on over and maybe get to see him. I don't really want no job licked over.

[D]

Sit down, Mr. Bando.

[A]

Oh, cheers is for dudes, professor. I'll just hunker down here on the floor, if it's all the same to you.

[D]

Now, I want you to. I presume you ride, Mr. Bendy.

[A]

Oh, horses. Give me them legs, major.

[D]

Well, is it worth $25 to you to ride to Kansas City?

[A]

I'd ride from here to California for that. But I ain't going till this Williams thing is over. Why, he was just about the biggest killer Missouri ever had. If I'm here when he dies, I'll have something to talk about on the trail for a long time. Oh, sir, you. You better get yourself another man.

[D]

Well, I write for a paper, Mr. Brandy. And I want you to take my dispatch to Kansas City when Williams dies.

[A]

Then we got another problem. It depends on how soon it happens. Why? Well, if he hangs on in the next week, we're smack into my drinking month. My old mother taught me. She said, john, if you lay off drinking every other month, the old Scamper Juice will never get you. And she was right.

[D]

Oh, I see.

[A]

Well, then we've got six days, 19 hours, Major. After that, I won't know a horse from a hyen until the months out.

[D]

Yes, well, there are other things you can do for me in the meantime, Mr. Bandy. And you will be one of the most important men in this whole affair. The little man's eyes lit up as I outlined his duties. He was to circulate among the crowd and bring people to my room who might have knowledge of Cole Williams. He agreed and left happily. I went back up to the dying man's room where I tried once again to gain entry, but was stopped by the inomitable sheriff. The army men came out shortly and I asked them if they had been able to identify him. But they refused to talk to me other than saying he would not admit to being Cole Williams. Nor, of course, to any of the crimes attributed to Williams. I went back down to the lobby just as Bandy was starting up to find me.

[A]

Hey, Fisher, I got something for you.

[D]

Oh, yes, Bandy, what is it?

[A]

You see that prairie hen sitting over there?

[D]

Oh, well, this crowd, Bandy. I know.

[A]

Well, you ain't looking where I'm pointing over there.

[B]

See?

[D]

Oh, yes, yes. What about her?

[A]

Talk to her. I heard her telling the sheriff men she'd know Williams, but they was too busy to pay any attention to her.

[D]

Good work, Bandy. I'll talk to you later. Pardon me. May I. May I get through here, please? Thank you. Uh, madam, I wonder if I could talk to you a moment.

[E]

No, please leave me alone.

[D]

I'm a newspaper correspondent. I understand you'd be able to identify Cole Williams.

[E]

Why, yes. Yes, I can. Those men wouldn't let me go up. Can you get me into the room?

[D]

Possibly. How is it that you would recognize Williams?

[E]

He killed my husband. I'll know if it's him.

[D]

She was pretty, in her middle 30s and dressed all in black. I persuaded the sheriff's deputies to allow her to go to the dying man's room. The sheriff himself took her in while I waited in the corridor. When they returned, she was sobbing quietly and he signaled me to take her downstairs instead. I offered to let her use my room to compose herself. And she accepted a grand gratefully. I'll sit here.

[E]

Thank you. You're very kind. 12 years I've waited to see Cole Williams dead. 12 years. I was just sure this would be him.

[D]

Are you certain it's not?

[E]

This man's old, wrinkled. It's terrible to wish to see a man die, but I. I can't help wishing it were him.

[A]

Would you?

[D]

Could you tell me about it?

[E]

I suppose a woman like me has no shame left. Traveling all this way hoping to see a man die.

[D]

You're from Madison City, aren't you?

[E]

Yes. Yes, I am. How did you know?

[D]

The things that happened there. I would say it was no lack of shame that drove you here.

[E]

Horrible. 200 of them. Beautiful morning. And 200 murderers rode into our town. And he was the head of them. Yelling at them, cursing them if they didn't kill fast enough for him. He rode up to our house. Our house. And he had a smile on his face. While my husband went for his rifle, I ran up and for a second I had hope because the man had a smile on his face. He was. He was wearing a flower in his hat. And I saw him stop and look at my garden. And he told his men not to ride across it. And I had hope. Then he looked behind me and his face changed. There was a shot. I screamed and turned and saw my husband. My lovely young husband with blood running out of his mouth. He died while I shouted at the man. A man who wouldn't step on my flowers.

[D]

She was silent then for a long time. And in the darkening shadows I walked to the window and stared out onto the street. I don't know how long I stood there, but it must have been some minutes because when I turned the woman had gone and Bandy was rushing into my room.

[A]

Hey, professor, you better get upstairs right away. The man's just been identified. It's Cole Williams all right. A chim.

[B]

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[A]

To sample the go.

[B]

Then you turn the key and Plymouth's new golden commando V8 leaps into life. Now you just push a button and.

[A]

Go on your way to the Most.

[B]

Fun filled 15 minutes of your driving life. See your Plymouth dealer take your fun drive in the 59 Plymouth. Real soon you really go, go go for a Plymouth and Plymouth will really go for you.

[D]

For the first time since I'd arrived in Batesville, the crowd downstairs was silent. I knew that they were waiting for more news of Williams. I was on my way up the stairs when once again the sheriff stopped me.

[A]

I can let you in a little later, Candle. He won't talk to none of the people I've sent in there anyway.

[D]

Then it is Williams.

[A]

Oh, it's him all right. His mother's in there now.

[D]

William's mother.

[A]

You remember the man I said we suspected leaving Williams outside my office?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

He brunger his name, Shad Barlow, went to visit William, seeing how sick he was, left him at my place and headed out for the old lady. Says he used to ride with Cole. He asked me to leave for a while. The old lady's crying gobs all over. And where can I get a drink downstairs? Barlow.

[D]

Mr. Barlow, I'd like to buy you a drink.

[A]

I'd rather go someplace by myself, mister.

[D]

Well, how about my room then? I have a bottle of good rye there.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, I guess that'd be better than that. So saloon. All them vultures down there waiting for cold to die so they can have a celebration.

[D]

Chad Barlow was a tall man with arms that were too long. He seemed to welcome the grayness of my room, so I didn't bother to light a lamp. As I poured him a glass of rye, he seated himself awkwardly In a straight back chair by the window for a long time watched the street below. I told him my name, that I was a newspaper correspondent. And that I would welcome anything he would be willing to tell me about Cole Williams. He didn't seem to hear me. And the crowd below in the saloon began their celebration. Suddenly he got up, walked to the dresser and poured another glass of rye.

[A]

Kids out of school declare a holiday. Cole Williams is dying in our town. I should never have brought him in. I thought they'd help me.

[D]

Will you tell me about him? Barlow?

[B]

Why.

[A]

Why should I?

[D]

You're his friend. I'm a newspaper correspondent.

[A]

It's been so long now, I guess it don't make no difference. You got to remember one thing, though. What'd you say your name was?

[D]

Kendall.

[A]

You got to remember one thing, Kendall.

[D]

Yes?

[A]

There was a war going on. I don't mean the big thing. I mean a long time before that, there was a war out here. Why, clear back into the 50s, it was raids. Kansans into Missouri, Missourians into Kansas, back and forth. What Cole done was to organize the suns. Yeah. Yeah, that was it. Dead men fighting through their sons. I was just thinking, ain't never been a better looking Johnny Reb. Sadder Horse and Cole. Nothing like what's upstairs. You'd never know that was him. Why, I've seen Cole charging down a hill. A hooting and a hollering and telling us not to worry, that nobody could touch us.

[D]

Oh, Cole.

[A]

You know, he was a funny one. Always wore a flower stuck in his hat brim when we went on them raids. Said it brought him good luck. Why, the. The day we took Madison City, we all stood on that hill for 10 minutes waiting for him to find a posy. Maybe it was good luck. I don't know. Told me one time he wore it on account of his brother.

[D]

His brother?

[A]

Sure. Yet a younger brother loved flowers. Growed a little patch of them on the side of the Williams house. Then one day, the Red Legs came, the Kansans. They come riding in this day and tromped all over the kids. Flowers mean, like just looking to jayhawk. Somebod Pool's brother ran out to tell him to get. And they shot him down. Cole's what, 26, 25 or 26. He was away, and when he come back, it sure made him mad. Real mad for a long time. But I guess he's got over that by now.

[D]

Has he?

[A]

I'm just wishing now I hadn't come see Cole and he just died out there. At his place, all by himself.

[D]

Why? He was your friend.

[A]

Oh, and people downstairs, most of them are glad he's dying. They just come to make sure, you know. Besides, I kind of put them years away. Like a saddle you don't use anymore. If you go and get it out, you find the tree all shot and full of wormholes. When he dies, what'll they do with him? I mean, it won't be a law planting, will it?

[D]

I don't know.

[A]

Sure wish I could take it. You sure, I'd take him. I'd give him a laugh. He used to always say, boys, if it happens to me in this next fight, do me a favor and throw me in a hole in Kansas. That'll teach him. Then he'd laugh and we'd go on in it. I don't suppose they'll let me have him, will they?

[D]

I doubt it.

[A]

Maybe I'm just drunk. Kendall, your bottle's nearly dry. Can I buy you one?

[D]

No. No, thank you.

[A]

Really? Funny how wrong a man can be. I thought I'd be getting cold. Something decent. Not this. He don't need me no more. I'm getting out of this town. Just remember one thing, Kendall. There's two sides to everything. Don't let these Cayuse killers stampede you.

[D]

No, I won't. I watched from the window as Shad Barlow slowly rode out of Batesville at the end of the main street. I thought he turned and looked back but it was too dark to be sure. Concerning the actual death of Cole Williams, I can say this. There was much speculation in the saloons and streets as to whether he would admit to his crimes. I was there when he died. And for the second time since I'd come to Batesville, the town was silent. The room was crowded with men waiting for an admission of guilt or at least some sign of remorse. His mother was there, a tall, spare woman.

[A]

Ma? Ma, are you still there?

[E]

I'm here, Cole. Don't try to talk no more. Just lie quiet.

[A]

How's brother? Is he gonna live?

[E]

Cole never done a thing. All these people standing around. He was the best boy mother could ask.

[A]

Don't cry, Mo. Brother be all right. The Red Legs didn't give no chance. But don't cry. I'll fix him. I cry. Promise I'll fix. He's gone. Let him know. In the street.

[D]

The tired woman walked out of the room while someone signaled to the street that Cole Williams was dead.

[C]

Getting away from it all is a big part of everybody's dream. Still, nobody wants to come back from a weekend like Rip Van Winkle, so completely at sea about what went on during his absence that he couldn't find a place for himself in his old hometown. But fortunately, you don't have to come back from a Rip Van Winkle, no matter how far you go from civilization. Over Saturday and Sunday, take a radio with you. And wherever you are, whatever you're doing, CBS Radio will tune you in on the world you've left behind. Your dials set for your local affiliated CBS radio station. The CBS News department brings you fast, efficient, comprehensive reports at regular intervals all week long. CBS newsmen all over the nation and the world are trained and seasoned at sifting the trivial from the important. Make CBS Radio your window in the world while you're on your weekend jaunts, and you won't have to pay any penalty on your return for getting away from it all for a while. Frontier Gentlemen was produced and directed by Anthony Ellis. Tonight's script was written by Tom Hanley and stars John Dana as JB Kendall. Featured in the cast were Harry Bartel, Richard Perkins, Joseph Kearns, Virginia Greg, Helen Kleeb and Jack Moyles. Join us again next week for another report from the Frontier. Gentleman Bud Sewell speaking.

[A]

Drive with care. Nobody has a life to spare. This is the CBS Radio Network.

[B]

Presents Dangerously Yours. A half hour of romance and adventure. Starring Victor Jory in Monsieur Beaucaire. You know, more and more millions of people are using Vic's Vetronol nose drops to relieve distress of head colds. Benefit by their experience. And now, Dangerously Yours. I am Adventure. In my name, men have traversed the highways, the byways, the skyways of the world. I am the fire that burns in the heart of youth, that makes men dream and dare and conquer. I am Dangerously Yours. They follow me to the English court in the early 18th century. Meet that daring, impudent Frenchman who risked his neck many times over to win a rose and to win the heart of his lady, M. Beaucaire. Your Highness, His Majesty is in the throne room. He would like to see you immediately. Very well, Henri. I'll go at once. Yes, Father. Louis. Philippe, I have been thinking about you. Yes, father? You are 33 years old. You are the prince of the realm. And at this time, you had a wife. I have been duly considering all the available princesses. And I have decided that you are to marry your cousin, the Princess Henriette. Well, now, Father, it grieves me deeply to have to go against you in anything, but I don't happen to want to marry my cousin Henriette I wasn't aware, sir, that I had asked you what you wanted. Don't you think you should ask? No. Because you never have the good taste to want what I want. Why don't you want to marry your cousin? I don't love her. Now, that's just about the silly kind of answer I would expect from you. What on earth do you want? I want to choose my wife. I want someone who is beautiful and witty and charming and clever. I want someone who is honest and courageous and straightforward and trustworthy. I want someone who will love me and only me, and who will love me without knowing who I am or what I am. My boy, such a woman never lived. You might as well face that fact and marry your cousin Henriette. No, sir, I won't do it. I positively will not marry Henriette Parbleu. You will do as I say, Parbleu. I won't. Well then, sir, you will pay a little visit to our prison at Vincennes. And you will stay in prison until you make up your mind to marry Henriette. I'll never marry Henriette. You will start for Vincennes tonight. I'll never marry Henriette. Let's rest our mouths for a moment. You know, gentlemen, I do not have much wish to go to prison. So I think I'll leave you here. Good evening, gentlemen. Well, come on. After him. We can't just let him ride away. Oh, he's a much better horseman than any of us. And a much better swordsman. Why get all hot and steaming with a chase and a fight? It's much simpler to go back and tell the King he escaped. Well, Pierre, will you do it? Will you let me travel to England with you? No, your Highness. You put me in a very unhappy spot. I've got to get out of France at once. If I don't, my father's going to put me in prison. But to suggest that you accompany me as my barber. My barber. It's. Well, I just don't like it. What do you know about barbering? In the first place, I've been observing barbers for some time now. There's nothing to it at all. Nothing to it at all. You'll see that I will bring about some changes in that beard of yours. Now, you see, I'm very fond of that beard and I'm not going to have you tampering with it. You forget yourself, Molyneux. Suppose I refuse to take you with me to England? Then I will order you to take me. I am not a happy man. Why do you want to go to England anyhow. I'm just going to take the sun at Bath. You'll find it very dull. Bah, dull. Why, there's gambling there and dancing and beautiful ladies. And there I may find that which I seek. May I take the liberty of asking just what it is that you do seek? Your Highness, I seek a lady as beautiful as the morning. As beautiful as a lady, eh? What lady? What's her name? Does she have a title? I don't know her name, but her title might be Cinderella. Molyneux, you wonderful, handsome Mollen. Don't shout so. You have everyone up here to see what's wrong? What is wrong? Confounder. I knew it the moment I saw her. She had a red rose in her hand and she was riding by in a carriage. She. She dropped the rose when she saw me, and when I returned it, I touched her hand for a moment. Oh, Molyneux, she's so lovely. So beautiful, so charming. Hand me those scissors. I will trim your beard while I tell you about it. You trimmed my beard yesterday. And it really doesn't need it. Doesn't need it. Molyneux, I don't want you to have a hair out of place. I want everyone in Bath to say, oh, what a magnificent barber is at Monsieur Vauquer. But my beard keeps getting less and less. I really don't want a trim. I order you to sit down. Yes, your Highness. I am not a happy man. This is supposed to be a vacation for me. I found out her name already. It is Lady Mary Carlisle. Oh, you cut off such a big hunk. Don't squirm so. I might accidentally cut off your nose. I really don't need a trim. If you don't sit still, I'll have you beheaded. And that will end your entire problem. Yes, your Highness. Now then, Molyneux, how can you fix it for me to meet Lady Mary? I cannot. You just don't introduce your barber to high born ladies. You don't, huh? Well, I'm not going to make a fellow countryman commit a social error. I'll tell you what you do. Suppose you invite the Duke of Winterset to your rooms tonight for a game of cards. I don't like the Duke. Why should I invite him in for a game? Well, I've heard the Duke is very intimate with Lady Mary Carlisle. So I've just decided that he shall have the honor of introducing me. Oh, my beard. You're too vain about that beard, Molyneux. If you're not good, I may Cut it off altogether. Yes. The Duke shall have the honor of introducing us. You can't seriously think he'll introduce a barber to his friends. I'm told the Duke cheats at cards. If he cheats me, he will introduce me. But not as a barber. I shall become a duke for the purpose. The Duke of Chateau Rien Winter said there's no child. Your Highness, you're flirting with danger. I like to flirt with danger. I love it. It's the wine and the sauce, the salt and the stew, the soft spot in the head. That's enough trimming for this afternoon. Go. Hurry. Run on those little fat feet and tell the Duke of Winterset that your barber is the most fabulous gambler in France, that a game with him might prove most interesting. Go now.

[E]

Scat.

[B]

What has happened to my holiday shouldn't happen to a pig. Will you supple, Monsieur le Duc? Thank you. Cut. No, thank you. What happened to your beard, Molyneux? It's a different shape every day. It changes with the mood of my barber, Monsieur le Duc. Pardon, but one of the cards seems to be missing. One of the cards missing? That's impossible. You will pardon me if I remove it from your sleeve. Voila, monsieur. This will make quite a story when it gets out. You'll make no story of this, Beaucaire, if I have to kill you to make sure of it. Take your hand off your sword, monsieur, and look around. Permit me to introduce my good friends, Francois, Henri, Albert, Charles and Gaston. Also, permit me to point out that they are armed. You're in a little trouble, Monsieur le Duc. How much do you want? Money does not interest me. I want something that will not hurt you as much. And if you will not do it for me, murder. Oh, no, monsieur. Only disgrace. Why, you scurvy foot boy. You greasy barber, you stable boy. Born in a stable. Is it not an honour to be born where the Duke of Winterset must have been bread? Do you think a soul in Bath would take your word that I attempted to cheat you? They would take the word of my master Molyneux. You'd pass that word about Moliner? Yes. What do you want of me? I want to be presented to society as the Duke of Chateaurian. And I also want to meet the lovely Lady Mary Carlisle. Lady Mary, may I present his Grace, the Duke of Chateauria. Your Grace, Lady Mary Carlisle. I kneel at the feet of such beauty.

[E]

You're very kind.

[B]

Would you grant me the honor of this dance?

[E]

The pleasure is mine, your Grace.

[B]

I've dreamed of this moment for so long a time. And now that it's here and you're in my arms, I don't even know what to say. And there's so much that I should say.

[E]

What do you want to say?

[B]

Oh, my dear, if I were to tell you, you'd slap my face and run away.

[E]

I know very little about the French, although I've heard of their gallantries. And now I see why.

[B]

If I told you that I loved you, what would you say?

[E]

I'd say you couldn't possibly know. We English are practical people, your grace.

[B]

Surely not about love. Who can be practical about love?

[E]

If a lady were not practical about you, Monsieur le Duc, she might very easily get her heart broken.

[B]

Don't be practical about me. I'll not break your heart. But I'll try very hard to take it away from you.

[E]

I'm not sure you can. You see, I'm waiting for someone very special.

[B]

What kind of a someone?

[E]

Oh, someone who is straightforward, who never says anything he does not mean. Someone who can be trusted. And of course he must be very handsome. And he must love me very, very much.

[B]

I think I know just the man for you.

[E]

Is his name Monsieur le Duc de Chateaurien?

[B]

No, not his real name.

[E]

And what might his real name be? Monsieur le Duc?

[B]

His real name might be Prince Charming.

[E]

You must tell me about him sometime.

[B]

Sometime I will. You are leaving the ball now?

[E]

Yes. It is late and I'm a little tired. My carriage is waiting.

[B]

Look at that moon, Lady Mary. By tomorrow night it'll be in its prime. Will you go driving with me?

[E]

I'm supposed to attend a dinner. And in any case it would not be proper.

[B]

You're English and I'm French. What is proper in my country may not be in yours. In my country, if you refused to come, that would mean there was no hope for me at all. And I would not try to see you again.

[E]

I will try to change my engagement. If you would care to call about.

[B]

8, I will be there. My lady.

[E]

Yes, your grace?

[B]

I ask a favor. May I have that small red rose you wear in your hair?

[E]

What would that mean in your country?

[B]

The same as it means in yours. Will you give it to me?

[E]

It is yours. And now good night.

[B]

Thank you, my lady. Be careful of my heart, won't you? You see, you're taking it home with you tonight. Please don't break it.

[E]

Good night, your grace. Goodbye. Until tomorrow.

[B]

I see you have a rose, Monsieur Barber. Yes, I have a rose. The rose will be dead before morning and so may Be the barber. Are you threatening me? I have intended for some time to make Lady Mary Carlisle my wife. I don't intend to change my plans. I have the same intention, and I don't have any idea of changing my plan. Do you think you can marry her and keep her from finding out that you are a barber? No. Do you think her ladyship would marry a barber? I think she would if she loved him. I mean to find out. At the risk of personal disgrace. At any risk, I will keep you from seeing her again. At any risk. I will see her again in. Monsieur, I'm afraid I shall have to kill you. Sorry, Winet, I don't have time right now. I must get some rest. I have an engagement with Lady Mary tomorrow night and I want to be at my best. I'm warning you. No, do your worst, Winet. Let's see how much of a blackguard you really can be. Step carefully getting into the carriage, my lady. Here, permit me to help you.

[E]

Thank you, your grace.

[B]

Now then, we're on our way. All right, men, we'll follow them into the country. We'll let them get about 10 miles out of town and then we'll take care of Monsieur le barber. We must keep out of sight until we're ready for the kill. Come out to them. You know, folks, how your head sometimes stuffs up at night and makes breathing so difficult it's mighty hard to get to sleep. Now, the next time you're bothered with this transient congestion at bedtime, just put a few drops of Vicksbur in each nostril. Then feel this specialized medication start to open up the clogged nasal passages and make breathing easier. What grand relief it brings. Vetronol is so effective because it's expressly designed not only to help relieve local congestion, but reduce irritating dryness too. In this way, it invites restful sleep. Try Vetronol tonight if you're troubled with nasal stuffiness. And notice how fast breathing becomes easier. Remember too, that Vetrinol is equally effective to relieve distress of head colds. So if you're sniffling and sneezing, just use a few drops of Vetronol. Follow directions in the folder. Vicks, Vetronol, nose drops. And now the second act of M. Beaucaire, starring Victor Jorek. Whoa.

[E]

Whoa.

[B]

We'll stop for a moment and look at the ocean in the moonlight, no?

[E]

Very well. But you aren't looking at the moon or the ocean.

[B]

You are more beautiful.

[E]

Compliments roll so smoothly from your tongue, Monsieur le Duc. One could wish you did not say them quite so glibly.

[B]

Compliments are the result of honest emotion. What I feel I can express strongly and quickly because I have no doubt about my feelings. I'm not a schoolboy stammering over his first love. I'm a man looking at my last love.

[E]

How clear it is tonight.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

On nights like this, I used to go out alone and sit by the sea and dream about a girl like you. Makes me a little homesick. Tonight for France. Ah, Lady Mary. You will love my country. And you'll. They'll love you in my country. If we were there tonight, we'd find a carnival and ride in a carousel and drink champagne and laugh. Later I would take you on the top of the highest hill I could find. And I would say, that is my kingdom down there. And now it's yours. If you will but put your hand in mine. Mary, look at me. Why do you turn away?

[E]

Because suddenly I want to believe you. Suddenly my heart wants to believe you. And my mind says no. My mind says, be cautious. He is a stranger. Don't let yourself be misled.

[B]

Will you marry me?

[E]

I don't know.

[B]

Do you love me?

[E]

I think perhaps I do. I'm not sure. How can I be sure? I've known you so short a time.

[B]

You can be sure. You can be sure. If your heart grows warm when you look at. And you can be sure of time goes singing by when we're together and drags by when we're not. And you can be sure you'll love me. If there's both peace and fire in your heart. When you hear me say I love.

[E]

You, Then I think it must be so.

[B]

My dearest.

[E]

My dearest.

[B]

There's something I must tell you. There's something I must ask you. If I were not what I seem. If I were not the Duke de Chateaurien, Would it make any difference? It seems almost insulting to ask you. But I must know.

[E]

You are not the Duc de Chateaurien. Then who are you?

[B]

A man who loves you.

[E]

Listening. I hear horsemen. I wonder who they are.

[B]

Yes, I think I know who they are. I must get out of the carriage. I trust my own men are near.

[E]

Who are they? Who are you? What is wrong?

[B]

My darling, listen to me. If I live tonight, I'll take you to France, and you shall be my queen. And if I die, I'll count my life well lost for this one hour.

[E]

What is wrong? Who are you?

[B]

Kill the barber. Kill the barber. Don't let them escape. Surround him. Kill the barber. Let the first man who wants to fight? Step forward. Don't give him any quarter. If I must fight five men, then I'll fight five. Come, milady, let me take you away from here.

[E]

Winter, sir. What does this mean?

[B]

Why don't you defend him? Defend him? Defend that dog of a Beaucaire, A common father? Those are my men that are killing him. I led them here.

[E]

You led them here? Why?

[B]

What is this all about? Step aside. They'll trample you down.

[E]

See how he fights his magnificent. Have you ever seen such swordsman?

[B]

Why are you not fighting? I don't fight with barbers, monsieur. Ah, take that, my pretty. And that. There's more bloodshed for the five of you than I have shed. And you, my ugly friend, I don't care for your face. Two of them. Down. Odds, blood. The man can fight. Get him, men, get him. I want him strung up. I'll disarm him.

[C]

Good.

[B]

Bring him here.

[E]

Where are the Duke's men?

[B]

Dear God in heaven, where are his men? He is no tuke. Duke is a barber, a common barber.

[E]

A barber? Oh, no.

[B]

There he is, my lady barber to Monsieur Molyneux. Oh, no.

[E]

I cannot believe it.

[B]

Francois. Yeah. Well done, my friends. You are almost too late, Monsieur le Duc. You had better tend to your accomplices. Some of them seem to be in pain. I'm sorry not to be able to oblige you by dying, but I have different plans.

[E]

Is it true that you are a barber and nothing more?

[B]

Would that make a difference to you?

[E]

You surely could not expect me to marry a barber.

[B]

I thought you would marry whomever you loved. I thought you were different from all the other ladies in the world. I see now I was mistaken. Forgive me for the assumption. Francois. Francois, I need help. Francois. Monsignor, your coat is red with blood.

[E]

Winterset, will you take me home?

[B]

With pleasure, my lady. We'll meet again, barber, unless you get out of town immediately. I'm not through with you yet.

[E]

Drive on, Winterson. This has all made me a little faint.

[B]

Farewell, my lady. Francois. Sometimes a red rose comes very high but the rose she gave me Seemed more beautiful Than if it turned out to be. Help me home, Francois.

[E]

Monsieur Molyneux, may I please see M. Beaucaire?

[B]

He's in the garden, resting. Haven't you done enough to him?

[E]

Please let me see him. I know he despises me, but there is something I must say to him.

[B]

I don't like you, my lady, and I'll do nothing to help you. See Monsieur Beaucaire. Ever since he met you, his barber. He's gone right out of the window. I have almost lost my entire beard. You're ruining his profession.

[E]

You won't take me to him.

[B]

I will not. But I can't help it if you push your way past me and go around to the garden on your own.

[E]

Thank you, Monsieur Beaucaire.

[B]

Good afternoon, your ladyship.

[E]

I know you don't want to see me, but I had to come.

[B]

I won't be able to talk to you long. I have some affairs to settle and I'm leaving for France tomorrow.

[E]

A few weeks ago, you and I rode out along the sea, and you said if I would put my hand in yours, you would give me a kingdom. Do you remember that?

[B]

You would not care for a barber's kingdom.

[E]

I think I would. I know I would. Why, Mary, if I've always thought that titles were important, forgive me. I've learned better. Just say I had a bad bringing up. I've had a lot of weeks to think this over, and I know it doesn't matter whether you're a duke or a barber, because the only kingdom I really want is in your arms. And the only title I really want is the title Madame Beaucaire.

[B]

My dearest, my darling, my sweet.

[E]

I love you. That's the only important thing in the whole world to me. I love you so much.

[B]

You shall be Madame Beaucaire. And Monsieur Beaucaire is a very lucky man. Monseigneur, that beast of a winter set is on his way over here with a whole party of gentlemen from the court. Francois just brought word I should be ready for them. Can't we end this masquerade? I swear, what's left of my beard is turning white. We can end the masquerade. It's no longer necessary. I found my Cinderella. There he is, the impudent scoundrel. Let's finish him this time. Gentlemen, hear me before you offer an outrage. You will repent all your lives and plunge your country to war. Ah, Miss. Monsieur le Duke. You always appear well flanked with men. You never risk meeting me alone, do you? Do you expect me to fight a cutthroat with bare hands? I think one does not expect Monsieur to fight anybody. Do you think I would fight you? I would gladly fight almost anyone in the world, but I would not soil my hands with a lying sneak. Stop his lying now. Anyone who thinks he can stop me, step forward. Oh, really, Winterset. This is getting a little tiresome. You're always forcing me to fight when I'm not in the. Your Highness. My Prince, please, say no more.

[E]

Your Highness. My Prince.

[B]

My Prince. What prince is this? What kind of talk is this, Winterset? You forfeited all honor in this place. You play cards with me and cheat. Then, on condition I do not expose you, you introduce me as you introduce me at the cost of your honor. And then betray me to redeem it. You are a liar, a card shark, a coward. I'll know the true name of the man that dares bring such a charge. Tell him all I know. I think it's time he knows. But make it as short as possible. Permit me to have the honor of presenting to you His Royal Highness, Prince Louis Philippe de Valois, le Duc d', Orl, Duc du Chartres, Duke de Nemours, Duke de Montpaucher, Count de Pourjolet, First Prince of the Blood Royal First Peter of France, Lieutenant General of Infantry, Governor of Dauphine, Knight of the Golden Fleece, Grandmaster of the Order of Notre Dame of Mount Carmel and of Saint Lazarus in Jerusalem, and son of His Most Christian Majesty, the King of France. Mon Dieu. What a memory. The Prince shall hear from me within the hour. What gentlemen will carry your message. Win aet. Whoever will shall receive a little beating from Francois. And now, may I introduce to this company the lady who has promised to be my wife.

[E]

But I promised to marry Monsieur Beaucaire.

[B]

I am Beaucaire in my heart. And in my heart you will always be Madame Beaucaire. Monseigneur. My Prince, by your leave. I have been a good friend, have I not? That you have, Molyneux. Have I not served you, obeyed you, suffered for you, worried over you? You've done all those things. Then may I ask one favor in return?

[A]

Ask.

[B]

It shall be granted. May I be your barber? Just for a month? I can see room for improvement in your beard, Molyneux. If that's what you want, it shall be granted. But consider all the trouble masquerading as a barber got me in. On second thought, I withdraw the request. On the other hand, look at the joy it brought me. I think I'll just take my holiday now, though, if you don't mind. Goodbye. Monsieur Beaucaire. May I wish you great happiness? Thank you very much. I have great happiness now that I found Madame Beaucaire. Ladies, it's a fact that today, many, many women are throwing away their youthful charm, fading before their time, simply because they fail to live sensibly and get enough of certain indispensable vitamins and iron. Now, don't you pay that penalty. Don't be guilty of throwing away your natural youthfulness. Just live sensibly and take Vitamins plus once each day. You see, Vitamins plus gives you full protective amounts of all the certain indispensable vitamins and iron that you must have to feel and look as young, as vital and alive as you should. So make it your health charm routine. Vitamins Plus Just once each day. I am Adventure Next week, come with me to the south in the days of Lincoln and Lee, when the Union almost split into two nations. Meet one of the most colorful, dashing figures of the war between the States in the Ballad of Beauty, Stewart. Until next week. Then. I am Dangerously Yours. Our script was written by Gene Holloway from the story Monsieur Beaucaire by Booth Tarkington. Dangerously Dangerously Yours was directed by Richard Sanville. Lady Mary was played by Joan Wetmore, volunteer by Jackson Beck. Music for the series is under the direction of Mark Warno. Be sure and listen in again next week when VIX presents Dangerously Yours, starring Victor Jory. This is cbs, the Columbia Broadcasting System.