
This week's Relic Radio Show begins with In The Train, the March 13, 1939, episode of The Columbia Workshop. (28:44) Gunsmoke follows with Pussy Cats, from March 21, 1953. https://traffic.libsyn.com/forcedn/e55e1c7a-e213-4a20-8701-21862bdf1f8a/RelicRadio979.mp3 Download RelicRadio979 | Subscribe | Spotify | Support The Relic Radio Show
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Relic Radio Host
This is the relic radio show. Old time radio entertainment still standing the test of time from relicradio.com with another 60 minutes of radio drama. This is the relic radio show. We'll begin this week with columbia workshop and hear their episode from March 13, 1999, 1939, titled in the train. That's followed by gunsmoke with their episode from March 21, 1953 titled Pussycats.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
The columbia workshop presents in the train, an irish play for radio by hugh hunt, adapted from a short story by frank o'. Connor. The scene, a railway station in dublin. It is night, and the excited chatter of the passengers comes to us over the rattle of milk cans being loaded on the waiting tr. Half. Cigarettes.
Julietta
Cigarette?
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Do you want a paper for the train, sir?
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
What paper is it? What way would I be wanting a paper? And I bor in me great loss this night.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Is it a wake you're coming from?
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
It is not then. But I parted from my best friend this very night. Michael o' leary is the best friend I ever had.
Julietta
Walter, have I time for a cup of tea before the train goes?
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
I ever had. Michael o' leary was the best friend I ever had. And I never.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
This way, sergeant. This way, ma'. Am. There's plenty of empty compartments along here. Now, will this carriage suit you now, sergeant? It will do very nicely. Very nicely indeed. Will this do you all right, julietta?
Julietta
I suppose it's as good as any other on this awful train.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Well, sit yourself down now beside the window and take your ease.
Julietta
Jonathan, please tell that man to put my hat box on the seat. You know I don't want it crushed.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Ah, there you are, madam. As comfortable as if you were riding in the lord mare's court. Well, here's a shilling for you. Maybe you'll slip around and drink the wife's help. Indeed, sergeant. Thank you and good night to you.
Julietta
I hope no one else comes in. But of course they will.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
It is pleasant sometimes to have company on a journey.
Julietta
Well, I won't have any of your police or any of those awful witnesses. I tell you that now.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Yeah, well, let me see what's in the paper here. You know, we're not a bit too soon getting here. It's 23 minutes, too.
Julietta
And I would have had heaps of time to get that other hat at cleary's. Heaps of time.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Well, I always like to be in time for a trance.
Julietta
It's always the same. No thoughts for anyone. Only yourself.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Dear, dear, dear me, I know heaven.
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
Michael o'reilly, the best friend I ever had cock and scratch.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Cock and scratch.
Julietta
Dear, dear Dublin. I always want to cry when the train stops. Ah. How long will it be before I see it again?
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
A long while, I suppose.
Julietta
Three short days. And now back to that old hole San Frisch.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Well, twas a pleasant little change for you.
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
Change?
Julietta
When do you think I like having my name mixed up in a murder trial? After all I have friends in Dublin, you know.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Oh no, no my dear. No one thought you were mixed up in it.
Julietta
Maybe they didn't Jonathan. But all the same. Why the papers were full of it. But it was like heaven to be back in Dublin. Just to look down from the hotel windows and see men in real evening dress. I thought the prosecutor. Oh, what was his name?
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Mr. Boyle.
Julietta
Yes, Mr. Boyle. Oh, he'd a wonderful face. And his voice went right through me. Oh, if only we hadn't been engaged in this awful business. Oh, that terrible woman. Standing there in the dark. Staring. Just staring. Sometimes I couldn't sleep at night after seeing her.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Yes, she was a bit scared. So she was scared.
Julietta
Rubbish. She enjoyed it. I really believe she was proud of having murdered her poor unfortunate husband. The brazen hussy. Why wasn't she convicted? That's what I want to know.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Well, it's hard to say which way the law take. If tis hard on some, Tis easy on others. And that's the way of it.
Julietta
Jonathan. Jonathan. Here she is. Quick. Don't let her come in here. If she comes in here, I'll. Is it this carriage that goes to far? And priest? Oh, tis that I didn't see your Thomas.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Well, I'll be blowed.
Julietta
Fancy her coming back on the same train as usual. Well, you'd think she'd felt some shame. I nearly fainted.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Well then again, why wouldn't she? There's no one could tell her to stop now. She's free now to come and go as she pleases. By the mercy of God.
Julietta
Oh, I suppose you're going to say that she never killed her husband at all.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Well, in the eyes of the law she's an innocent woman.
Julietta
Oh, if it were anywhere else except Haron Krish this never would have happened. Never. And the country people that you brought up as witnesses, why they're as bad as that one. With all the lies they told in.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
The course the people in far increased have a great distaste for the law. Excuse me.
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
Excuse me lady. At my own door there's a coffee couple and I can't get into my compartment. So I thought I'd Come and tell you about my old friend Michael o'. Leary. Well, I pardon from him I am the very.
Julietta
Jonathan, Do I have to endure this?
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Now, move along like a decent man. The wife has a headache. Certainly.
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
Opposite. Certainly. I beg your pardon, ma'.
Kitty
Am.
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
Dear, I want you to know about Michael. The best. And I am the best.
Julietta
Well, now, really, that's too much. It's too much. Well, why didn't you put him out sooner? Chocolate chicken at final help. Nobody has any consideration for my feelings. Suppose. I'm sure I shall have a nervous breakdown after all this yesterday. I cried all the day.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
You bore up. Grand thanks be to heaven. And when you get back to Far Increased, you'll be a different person.
Julietta
Far increased. I have no life at all there. No one to speak to all day and nowhere to go. Nothing to look at but bogs and mountains and rain. Nothing but rain. Oh, you're from your precious policeman Magner. And the other two. Well, I hope they've sense enough not to come in here. I couldn't bear to listen to them for the next four hours.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
We'll be joining us later for a glass, Sergeant. We'll be up the far end. I wouldn't like to leave the wife alone.
Julietta
Oh, don't mind me, please.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
You see Aero sign in Allmore and the other folk. I did not. Then they'll have to be hurrying. Do you know who's on the train? No. Who? Well, you'll not believe until you see your face. Helena Maguire herself. But she walked in here not two minutes ago as cool as a cucumber. Aye. Tis strange how cool. Some can take it, but that one would fester. Come along now, Magner, if it's a quiet seat you want. And what happened to the lamp?
Julietta
When they might have managed to say.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
A good evening to me, they hadn't much time to get themselves settled.
Julietta
And what did Delancey mean by passing me by like that? Without even speaking to us? I don't think I'll ask him to tea again. The others make some attempts, but really Delancey is hopeless.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Oh, Delancey. He's a poor slob.
Julietta
Oh, yes, but that's not enough, Jonathan. Slob or no slob, he should make an attempt. He's a young man. He should have a dinner jacket at least. What sort of a wife will he get if he won't even wear a dinner jacket?
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
He's easy. I'd say he's after a farm in Waterford.
Julietta
Oh, a farm, a farm. The wife is only an incidental, I suppose. Well, no.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
From all I hear, she's a nice little incidental.
Julietta
Yes, I suppose many a nice little incidental came from afar. Oh, here come the neighbors. I hope they realize what sort of figures they cut. Not one of the women has a hat up the far end.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
There's less goes up there.
Julietta
Hurry up, Marsh. Hurry up, or you'll be missing it yet. All these other business. Good evening. Good evening, Wales. For the future, I shall certainly cut that woman, Moll Moore.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Ah, poor old Malmore. She is a big heart.
Julietta
She's a scandalous liar. A brazen liar.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Oh, the poor soul. She means well.
Julietta
She contradicted you in the most outrageous fashion in the court. Jonathan, in future you're not to recognize that woman when you see her.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Is it in a place like Farncrest where you couldn't refuse to salute an old cow?
Julietta
Oh, there it is. There it is. No social distinctions, no principles. Oh, I can feel it enveloping me already. That awful place. I really can't bear it any longer.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Well, now, maybe as soon as we get back, we'll get a shift to somewhere else. Oh, no, no, no, don't cry. Ah, that's the good girl.
Julietta
It's too much.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Oh, wish now wish you'll be glad we're off. Four minutes late.
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
I can't possibly beat Michael o'.
Julietta
Leary. I tear down my life for Michael o'. I sometimes wonder if I can put up with it any longer. Oh, I'm afraid I'm not used to such surroundings. My father was an educated man, you see. But culture doesn't exist in Parenthesia.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
No one to speak to and nowhere to go. No land at all. Bury down there. Nothing to look at but mountains and bombs. Nothing but rain. Criminals too. Don't think I'll ask your land you to see. Poor old Lany. He's cracked on the sergeant's wife. Oh, did you see the eye he gave her as we were passing herself in? The sergeant. Oh, I am cracked on her. The devil admire me. I never hated anyone yet. But I think I hate the living sight of her. Oh, no, no, no. Don't you spend the time catching into Mr. Tea. I don't want her old tea. I never asked for old tea. I can get better tea at the barracks. But what can I do when she knows where I am every hour of the day? And when she's tired of persecuting the sergeant, she's only to send across the road for me. Well, indeed. I don't know how the sergeant puts up with that same damsel Ah, she'll never rest since she's out of far and Crease and the sergeant along with her. I'd be sorry for that. He's a real nice man and very friendly to the place. Is the city life she wants. And how do you like the city yourself, then? Oh, man, dear, I'd like it fine. There's great life in a city you can have it and welcome. Why so? I'm well content where I am. I don't know. There must be a great charm about the criminal courts. Much charm they had for you when you were up in the witness box. Oh, I know. Shutting your eyes like a kid afraid he was going to get a clip on the ear.
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
Is this my carriage, gentlemen?
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
No, it is not. Go on with you.
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
I had as nice a carriage as ever would put on a railway train. A handsome carriage and his loss.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Try further up.
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
Excuse me interrupting your conversation, gentlemen.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
That's all right. Now go on with you.
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
I'm very melancholy, gentleman. My best friend, Michael o'. Leary. I parted with him this very night. And says no one if I'll ever lay eyes on him again in this world. Oh, good night, gentlemen. Good night and thank you. Thank you for all your kindnesses.
Julietta
Oh.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Still, I admit Delancey wasn't the only one had the wind up when he stepped in the box. He was hot. Even the sergeant was shook when he picked up the mug with that bit of poison in it. He was trembling all over. And before he could put it down, it danced a jig on the table. Well, there was something queer came over me when that long, lean lawyer fella with a wig started rattling his questions at me. Twas that had me muddled. Only for that, I'd have been all right. Well, this time tomorrow night, I'll be sitting in Ned Ivor's pub with a pint in my fist. And by the same token, Dan, did you bring the drink with you? I did. Then hand it over to me that tis poor stuff only you'd get in the city.
Announcer
Ah.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Tis little good is in it. I wonder now what came over that same Helena Maguire to rise up and kill her husband. Maybe it was on account of the drink he'd take. He was a hard man, I'm told, when he drink taken and his father the same. I wouldn't say that now. I'd say there was another man in it, maybe. Oh, a man?
Julietta
How so?
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
There was a young fellow from the Black Glen. She had her heart set upon. Very often I'd meet him down by the river. Before her father wed her over to Seamus. Very great they were together. Maybe twas that she was thinking of. Here's the sergeant coming now. We'll ask him. He wasn't long getting tired of his julietta. Well, lads, what about a glass or something? Isn't that remarkable? Now, I was only mentioning the subject when you came in. I've noticed before, Foley, that you and I have what might be called a simultaneous thirst. How's the wife, sergeant? Well, now she's bearing up well, thank you. Though it was a bit of a shock to her seeing that same Helena mcguire in the trail. We were just running our minds back over the trial, sergeant, when you came along. Would you say it was on account of the drink that she did it? Well, it might. And then again it might not. Or would you say it was the great desire she had for katie driscoll? Well, it maybe was. A fine spirited woman she must be to have done the like of that. Ay, and never let on to a thing. The time she stood up to face the judge, she bested the lot of us. There wasn't one of us that didn't feel the strain when we stood up in the court. But she never let a quiver out of her. It was a remarkable kiss. I mind. Well, the sort of dull look she had when we came to take her off to the barracks. The same look that she had in the court. Oh, that old court. Never forget that. The questions they asked and the answers we gave Was a strange case. Took a statement from accused. She seemed depressed and quite amused. Friday night at half 10 an Ivor's cup deceased and liquor taken. Then he had my life. The conduct that the guards displayed Templary I'll see a lodge at worst invade and nothing but depressing youth and overwrought and nothing but the truth. And nothing but the whole truth and nothing but. And nothing but. Your lordship. Where are we? Aren't we home yet?
Julietta
No, no, won't be. What's troubling you to get home so soon? Me little house, me little hat. I suppose wasn't enough for you to be to board up the windows and put barbed wire on the old bit of a gate before you left?
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Tis all well for you that have someone to mind Yours for you. And what are you laughing at, ma'?
Kitty
Am?
Julietta
Does that same have me laughing to think of me own healthy fidget of a man this week past is the stir above pot, ay, and making the bed and watching the children say aye and his chickens running off with teddy can't Deal his barley.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
My barley is. It's better barley that was ever guarded on your old pigsty of a farm.
Julietta
Oh, there's something to say. Isn't it A great thing for me this week? Half and I lookin at an old scarecrow the like of you instead of my own fine bouncing man.
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
She's not here.
Julietta
Who's not here, mister?
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
I'm looking for my own carriage, ma'.
Julietta
Am.
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
And whatever they done with it is lost. The rainwares in this country have gone so.
Julietta
Richard, there's nothing else for struggling here. Wouldn't you sit here down along with myself?
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
Well, I would with great pleasure, ma'.
Kitty
Am.
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
With great pleasure. But. Tis only the carriage. Tis me traveling companion. I'm a lonely me. I parted with. With me best friend this very night. I found one to console me and when I turned me back, she was gone.
Julietta
Oh, so it's a female person. Without consoling you.
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
It was indeed, ma'.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Am.
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
A female person with a beautiful face. A sad female person.
Julietta
What sort was she?
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
I. I don't know, ma'.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Am.
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
I don't know from far. And Christ, she came with a Beautiful name. Helena McGuire. She called us out. I must find her, ma', am, if I have to search the whole trail. Ok.
Julietta
So herself is on the train, is she?
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Isn't it a great impudence in her to come back?
Julietta
Isn't it now?
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
She won't be there long.
Julietta
You'll give her the hunt, I suppose.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
If no one else do. I'll give her the hunt myself.
Julietta
And still Teddy Kindillan. You swore black was fight to save her neck.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
I did, of course. What else would I do? Malmour? There was never an informer in my family.
Julietta
What else would we do? Isn't she one of ourselves? And great disgrace upon the village if they'd hanged her by the neck. We told our story, the lot of us. And we told it well. We did indeed. And nobody told it better than Malmo, do you think?
Chester
Here?
Julietta
Or she believed it herself? The Lord knows I nearly did. Did anyone ever think the day would come when a woman in our parish would do the like of that? Never.
Chester
Never.
Julietta
A monster. She might do it for land, maybe for money. When the hunger was land, people killed for land. When the hunger was money, people killed for money. In my young days, if you killed a man, there was treason in it. But what are they killing for now? Ah, the people aren't as wild as they were. Nor as poor as they were. Not as strong as they were. There's a great change coming A great change in the ears of the world.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
People are asking for more.
Julietta
Be the forky here. The body. Oh, come on in, Sergeant. Come on in. Come on in the whole bunch of ye and set me free from the dismal talk, isn't it?
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Well, we were lonely without you. You're the biggest and brazenist and cleverest liar of the lot. But I'll forgive you everything if you give me one soap from the bottle of liquor you have hid there under your shell. Well, I hope there's none of that same illegal potine you have there, Moll.
Julietta
Oh, Sergeant. And you think I drink that stuff?
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Did you ever drink anything else? There'll be one good day's work done at Baron Creek on the head of this trial. And how so?
Julietta
Dan Moore will make a great brew.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Of 14 when our backs will turn. I'll get that husband of yours yet down the Lottie.
Julietta
It's too much.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
How did you manage? It was a wonderful story you told. And Helena Maguire should be down on her knees offering up prayers for you this night. Sure, you fooled us right enough, you fool selves better. Well, there'll be great talk now when we get back to Faring Crease. Well, I'll be well pleased to be back. I have no great gras for city life myself. No life for a man.
Julietta
Listen to the rain, Lydia. We'll have a wet walk home. Twill be midnight before we'd be there. Ah, sure, the whole countryside'll be up. Twould be like daylight with all the talk there'll be there. And there'll be no sleep in Farrencrist tonight. Oh, Farren Kleicht. Farren kleesht. And the sky over yet. I wouldn't change places with the Queen of England this night. Farengrit.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Farengkhrisht. Farrenchryst. Ought to be back to Farengkhrisht. Farengkhrist. Lights in the windows. The heart and the fire. The mist and the meadow. The cow in the fire. The black and the turf. The white marsh wall. The humpback mountain. Overall and Millie Burned and Molly Birth, Art and Shine and Seamus Quirk will all be there to welcome us to Parliament Street. Parliament Street. Paramount Creek. Parliament Street. Welcome us to Parliament Street. Parliament.
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
I'm a lonely man and now I'm going back to me lonely habitation. My best friend. I left behind me Michael o'. Leary. Tis a great pity you don't know Michael. And a great pity Michael don't know you. But look at the misfortunate way A thing will happen. I was looking for someone to console me. And the moment I turned my back, you were gone. Oh, This is where I go to. This is where I get out. But this is the end of a beautiful friendship, Helena. If you will permit me to call you that. You have a beautiful face. A beautiful face. But what's more important, you have a beautiful soul. I look into your eyes and I see the beauty of your nature. Allow me one favor, only one favor, before we part.
Julietta
What is it you be wanting, mistress?
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
A kiss, ma'.
Kitty
Am.
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
A kiss on your beautiful sad face. Kathleen. The grave.
Julietta
On my beautiful head. Where to? Where to?
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Nothing left.
Julietta
Nothing.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Come on.
Julietta
Are the jury back? Come on, now.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Come on.
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
The verdict of the jury is Mary mother. That Helen McGuire is Mary mother.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Not guilty.
Julietta
Men black fight the one of the sh.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Kill her man. Set her free. She's going back. Go.
Julietta
Going back. Where to? Nothing left.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Helena.
Julietta
They're all up in the train. Wouldn't you come now and join us? No, no. Just as they're asking for you. I couldn't. Oh, why couldn't you? Who are you minding? Is it the police? I'll stop where I am, you know. You know. Take a sieve of this and I'll put new heart into you. Thank you kindly. Wait till I tell you what Magner said. That fellow's the limb of the divil. I've heard a drop mall, says he. Maybe I have. Then, says I. What is it? Says he? What do you think? Says I. Oh, for the love of heaven, says he. That ties it quick and call it whiskey. Oh, they're coming along themselves. Here, give me that bottle. Twouldn't do at all for the sergeant to see that stuff. Will you look at that fellow Magner? He's taken a drop too much. Right enough.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Eleanor. Accept my congratulations. We'll get you the next time, though, Musha.
Julietta
What are you saying, mister?
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Not a word. You're a clever woman, a remarkable woman, and I'll give you full credit for it. You threw dust in all our eyes. Eyes. And it's hard to come by and easy to trace. But it beat me to trace where you got it from that time.
Julietta
Well, there's things they're saying about me.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
You're safe now. As safe as a judge on the bench. Last night when the jury came out with a verdict, you could have stood up and said, you're wrong. I did it. I got the stuff at such and such a place. I did it and I'm proud of it. You could have Said every word of that, and no one would have dared to lay a hand on you.
Julietta
Indeed. What a thing I'd say.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Well, you could. The law is a truly remarkable phenomena. Here you are sitting at your raise at the expense of the States. And for one word, one little word of a couple of letters, you could be lying in the body of the jail waiting for the rope and the morning jaunt.
Julietta
Please don't talk that way, mister.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Well, it was the holy will of God. With all the bloody lies Brown Moore told.
Julietta
With all the plaster spools you made yourselves in the witness box.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
And no Helena, since tis all over and past. Maybe you'll tell us what came over here to do a thing me like of that.
Julietta
Was it for the land you did.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
It, or the money? Was it because he was old and dirty and cantankerous and a miser, the way they said he was? Or maybe on account of the way he beat you. We need the drink taken. Or what made you do it? We know different from that, don't we, Helena? Well, there'll be one happy man in Foreign Creech tonight. No, no, Magdale, don't be making mistress. One happy man. Tis his. No, no, man, you're drunk. You wanted him, didn't you? Your people wouldn't let you have him, but you'll have him at last, in spite of them all.
Julietta
Do you mean Katie Driscoll?
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
You know rightly who I mean.
Julietta
I'll tell you nothing.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
She's a close woman. And she's right, surely.
Julietta
Well, however, it is a bright welcome before you when you get back home. Since you'll be the interesting woman and the people wondering how you came to do it at all, you'll have all that you want. I'm not wanting anything at all. Is that a new blouse you have on? I seen it last night. And a shop in the Keys. A shop on the way down from the cottage. Is it nice? Just a fine color. How much did it cost you?
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Is that all you were thinking of? You should have been on your bended knees before the altar.
Julietta
I was, too.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Well, we'll be in in a couple of minutes. I'd best be getting along. To the wife. Well, good night to you, ma'.
Kitty
Am.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
I'm glad for all our sakes things turned out the way they did.
Julietta
Good night.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
I pity him. There'll be a scolding for that poor man when he gets back to his maid. Give us another shot from that bottle mouth. That's enough now. You've had enough for the night.
Julietta
And for why would you revine a new blouse?
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Ah, we're just coming in. Can you see? Is there any other boys on the platform? There's a great crowd surely.
Julietta
Can you. Can you catch a glimpse of my man Dan?
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Isn't that him beyond under that lamp?
Julietta
Ah, move over, can't you? The way he'll see me wave.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
There's me bald Seamus quirky old man sword behind.
Julietta
Where? Where?
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Behind the nelly.
Julietta
Couple of girls now.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Who the thought she'll come down to meet me?
Julietta
Didn't she crack on you God.
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
Last quick.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Did you hear that, Foley?
Julietta
Come on. Is there a sign of Pillan under the old rascal D. I'm here if you leave me. Get out. Mary. Jonathan. How disgusting. I always hated clowns. Dan? Dan, is that you? Dan? Who else would it be if I.
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
Chance it, is it?
Julietta
Hurry on now.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Unless you don't be standing around castering. Come on now, miss, unless you want to be left behind the train.
Julietta
Please, mister, did you see Gary Driscoll here tonight?
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Sure, and how would I be saying him? Didn't he leave for America yesterday?
Julietta
Did you ever see such rain the river likely be flooded with Best walk around by the road. He's no more to me than the salt sea.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
More to me than the salt sea. Than the salt sea sea. You have been listening to the Columbia Workshop's presentation of in the Train, a radio play by Hugh Hunt adapted from a short story by Frank o'. Connor. The music was composed by Bernard Herman and the entire production was under the direction of Bruce De Morgan. Next week at this same time, the Columbia Workshop will present an original play for radio called A Letter from Home by Charles R. Jackson. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.
Announcer
Around Dodge City and in the territory on west, there's just one way to handle the killers and the spoilers. And that's where the U.S. marshal and the smell of gun smoke. Gunsmoke, starring William Conrad. The story of the violence that makes moved west with young America. The story of a man who moved with it. Matt Dillon, United States Marshal.
Matt Dillon
Chester had been helping me with some paperwork and after the regular day ended and we didn't get through until about 10 o' clock and we were both kind of tired.
Kitty
Well, I sure never did think I'd hold out, Mr. Dylan. I got a cramp in my hand and a crick in the neck. What I need is a beer.
Matt Dillon
I'll join it. Just Chester. I locked up the office and walked down to the Texas trail with Chester. I guess the best thing that could be said for the Night was that it was still not cold, not warm. Somewhere in that between that makes you wish it would be one thing or the other. Or maybe it was because we were tired, that it didn't feel right. The bar wasn't crowded. And right off, Kitty came over to our table with beer. I thought she looked kind of worried.
Chester
Hard day, Matt?
Matt Dillon
Oh, no, no, nothing much.
Chester
Oh.
Kitty
I declare, Miss Kitty, this beer tastes darker than usual.
Chester
New brew? Probably change?
Kitty
Yeah, I suppose.
Chester
Say, Matt, you ever seen the stranger before? The Tall One bar, huh?
Matt Dillon
No, no.
Kitty
My heavens, Mr. Dillon, he is a lofty man, and that's for sure. Look at him stretch out.
Matt Dillon
Yeah. What about him, Kitty?
Chester
Well, I don't know. Sam gave me the eye a bit ago, just before you came in.
Kitty
Huh.
Matt Dillon
You trying to make trouble?
Chester
Sam's not sure. Fellas have been drinking straight for more than two. He doesn't say anything. He just looks like he's getting ready, maybe waiting for something.
Matt Dillon
Is the woman with him?
Chester
Yeah.
Matt Dillon
He was a lean, almost stringy man, Better than usual tall, and he might have served in the army once because he wore his gun. But forward as we sat, Chester and me drinking our beer, he turned around a couple of times and looked at the door. I never saw a man with eyes as gray or with a skin to his face so dry and tough you'd swear you could get sparks off it with a flint. The woman standing next to him talked loud and often, but he didn't appear to be listening. My, it was like Kitty said, he. He was waiting. About an hour went by. The place began to quiet down. Most of the men drifted out to wherever their way was taking them.
Kitty
Excuse me, Mr. Dillon.
Matt Dillon
You want to get on back, Chester?
Kitty
Well, yesterday I was thinking about it. It. This beer is so dark, it's making me sleepy.
Matt Dillon
Well, you go ahead. I'll see you in the morning.
Kitty
You staying?
Matt Dillon
Yeah. Yeah, for a while, I think.
Kitty
On account of that tall fellow.
Matt Dillon
Yeah, maybe.
Kitty
Guess I'll get a little whiskey and sugar. Might keep me awake.
Matt Dillon
No, you go on, Chester. It's all right.
Kitty
If it's all the same to you, Mr. Dylan, I ain't sleepy.
Chester
But, Jack.
Kitty
Okay. There's a hotel down the way, miss, that could put you up. Shut up. Nobody asked you.
Chester
Oh, now, Jackie, you ain't got no call to talk to the man like that. He's just being helpful.
Kitty
Say, Mr. Dylan.
Chester
Chester, I'm tired. I want to go to bed, trip on the stage and travel all day. I swear I've never been sick.
Kitty
He's talked Too much. Be quiet. Stay in here with me. I've been talking ever since we come in here. Stop where I'm going to hit you. Might not be a bad thing if you did. Mr. Dillon, there's anything in this world I hate, it's a woman who does nothing but clobber her guns. Kitty. I bet he is miserable to be wed to, though. What do you reckon's ailing him?
Matt Dillon
I don't know.
Chester
Chester, you're still here?
Matt Dillon
Yeah. Sit down a minute, will you? Kidding?
Chester
Yeah, sure.
Matt Dillon
You don't know their names, do you?
Chester
No. I came in on the 6 o' clock stage from Oklahoma Territory. That's all I know. She's been talking a lot, but mostly about clothes and liquor. He don't say anything.
Matt Dillon
You think they're married?
Chester
She's wearing a ring. I never seen a man drink as much, Matt. It's like water. Hey, you, honey. Yeah. Excuse me, Matt.
Matt Dillon
Yeah, sure.
Kitty
What do you want? Huh? Sure.
Chester
Thank you, honey. Sure.
Kitty
Where you think you're going to?
Chester
I'm gonna freshen up, Jack. I'm coming right back.
Kitty
See you do.
Matt Dillon
The woman had just got out of sight when we heard the horses coming down the street outside. There were only six of us left in the place. Sam, Kitty, Chester and me. The stranger at the bar and a cowboy sleeping it off at a table across the room. The tall man called Jack, with the sound of the horses, turned to the door and there was a gun in his hand.
Kitty
You fellas at the table, get up. Come over here.
Matt Dillon
I kind of wondered what you were waiting for.
Kitty
I know you've been wondering. That's why you've been hanging around. I don't want no trouble with you. Stay out of the way. You won't get hurt.
Matt Dillon
Why don't you put your gun away, mister?
Kitty
Don't bother me. Trouble coming through that door any minute.
Matt Dillon
Put it back. I don't allow gunplay in Dodge.
Kitty
What you allow ain't up to you now, mister.
Matt Dillon
If you're in trouble, it's my job to protect you and your wife.
Kitty
This is private trouble. You want part of it? I'll give it to you right now. In the belly.
Chester
Jack, they're here. Outside.
Kitty
I know.
Chester
We can get out the back.
Kitty
I ain't running no more. You either. Come on, get behind the bar.
Chester
Yeah.
Kitty
You two fellas don't hit your belts. Leave them lay where they fall. Go on.
Chester
Honey, you give me a gun, will you?
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
I'll give you one. I'll give you one.
Kitty
Wait a minute. Okay.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
You two.
Kitty
Get around behind a bar. All right, at the end, you and a lady. Listen, you can't shoot up this place.
Matt Dillon
Sam, do what he says. Chester and I did as we were told and got behind the bar along with Kitty and Sam. The tall man picked up our guns and tossed one to the woman. Then dropped the others beside him on the floor. Then we waited, all of us behind the bar except for the cowboy drunk asleep at the table.
Kitty
I only had that mirror in for a month. It's gonna be busted for sure, honey.
Chester
We should have kept going. Got the train in the morning. Further west.
Kitty
It had to stop somewhere. This is as good a place as any.
Matt Dillon
Listen, mister, I'm going over and get the boy sleeping at the table there. He's gonna get hurt.
Kitty
You move an inch from where you're at and I'll shoot you. Now shut up, all the of you.
Chester
I hear him out there.
Kitty
Yeah. Start shooting when that door swings in, Mr. Dylan.
Matt Dillon
Stay down, Kitty.
Chester
Don't worry, Matt.
Kitty
Be in a saloon. Sure. I know Pharaoh.
Matt Dillon
Well, come on. Might as well start looking in here.
Kitty
Yeah. See.
Matt Dillon
The shooting went on for about five seconds. And when the glass started to come down behind us, we covered up. And at that, I felt a warm trickle along the side of my face where a splinter had slashed me. There wasn't any. Anybody behind the bar hurt beyond a scratch or two from the glass. But out there by the door and sprawled out beyond onto the walk were four men. They never had a chance. They'd never have another.
Chester
Watch out for the glass jacket.
Kitty
We got him. We got him.
Chester
Yeah. Yeah, we got him, honey.
Kitty
When I'm still alive.
Chester
Who is it?
Kitty
It's Acton.
Chester
Let me. Never did like him.
Kitty
Come on, let's go.
Chester
All right, Jackie. Sorry we messed up your place, honey. Don't you try coming after us, mister. Jack's had a taste of blood.
Kitty
Come on. Come on.
Chester
Jackie, we're gonna have to ride now.
Kitty
Yeah.
Julietta
Oh, honey, I'm tired.
Kitty
Take it easy.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Later.
Matt Dillon
You all right, Kitty?
Chester
I think so.
Kitty
Look at that mirror.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Just look at it.
Matt Dillon
Chester, get some guns from the office. Saddle up and get back here, huh?
Kitty
Yes, sir. All right now, folks, there's just been.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
A little shooting, that's all. Everything's gonna be.
Matt Dillon
Kitty, get Doc, quick.
Chester
What is it, man?
Matt Dillon
This man isn't dead, huh? Well, go on. Hurry up, will you?
Chester
Well, yeah.
Matt Dillon
She ran out into the night, for Doc and I stayed in the Texas trail watching the life flow out of the bullet hole in the chest of the man the killers had called Acton.
Announcer
We will Return for the second act of Gunsmoke in just a moment. But first, you can help your fighting men and our children win the fight for life if you act now on the battlefront. Our fighting men need blood to replace the precious substance they have so valiantly lost. Only through contributions to your Red Cross fun drive can we keep up that lifeline of blood to our wounded men. But time is running up. Give now. Your Red Cross must also have funds to transform blood into anti polio serum. The polio season is just around the corner. Red Cross gamma globulin is the one weapon that will spare our children from death or the crippling paralysis of polio this summer. Polio won't wait. Your community, your neighbors, perhaps your own child can be saved from the horrible effects of the dread disease if we do something now. Your Red Cross will not distribute the anti polio serum. It will be sent to critical areas by government health agencies. There will not be enough to protect every child this year. But many thousands will be spared polio paralysis this summer because you gave to your Red Cross. When your Red Cross fund volunteer calls, give generously. Do it today. You give, they live. Now the second act of gun smoke.
Matt Dillon
His eyes were open, but he didn't see me. And when I talked to him, he didn't hear. While I waited for document through his papers. His name was Brad Acton. That's all I could find. About two minutes later, Kitty came back with Doc. Didn't take Doc long to shake his head, poor fellow. He's done that. There's not a living chance. If I could just get him to talk. We gotta find out who he is and what they've done. Those two.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
I don't know.
Kitty
He's pretty near gone.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
We can't.
Matt Dillon
Yeah. Acton. Acton, can you hear me? Acton. Acton. Acton. That fell. Jack Farrow. He and the woman. What did they do?
Kitty
Oh, there's no use.
Matt Dillon
Matt Acton. Now listen to me. Acton.
Chester
Matt Acton.
Matt Dillon
Who are they? Why did they shoot you?
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
He's trying. The poor devil, he.
Matt Dillon
Come on. Come on now. You're wasting time. I gotta get after him. Now what did they do?
Kitty
I'm dying.
Chester
I'm dying.
Matt Dillon
We've all gotta die.
Chester
Oh, Matt.
Kitty
That ain't kindly.
Matt Dillon
Mister, I want you to wake up. You hear what I'm saying?
Kitty
I hear you. If I was on my feet.
Matt Dillon
Now listen to me. Pharaoh. I heard you call him Pharaoh. And the woman. Now, what about him? Why did you come gunning for him?
Kitty
Had it come?
Announcer
Why?
Matt Dillon
What did they do?
Kitty
Don't matter.
Matt Dillon
It Matters. If you're gonna die, get it off yourself. Now, come on, you and your pals there, if you did nothing wrong, you'll die more comfortable.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Oh, mad.
Matt Dillon
Let him be.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
It's not mad.
Announcer
What about it?
Matt Dillon
Acton.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
That's an I've got.
Matt Dillon
Acton.
Kitty
California. Out in California. Pharaoh. Me and the boys, we held up a stage in Pharaoh. Took the money and lit out with that woman.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
We.
Kitty
We've been followers. It. Look out for her. She's mean with a gun. Martha Lou. Yes? He's gone, Matt.
Chester
Yeah. Guess you had to do it that way, Matt, but.
Matt Dillon
But what?
Chester
Nothing.
Kitty
All set, Mr. Dillon.
Matt Dillon
All right, Chester.
Chester
You going after him, Matt?
Matt Dillon
Why not? They've done murder, haven't they? You have to figure the odds of a man forgiving for what you do when a thing has to be done, then you split the difference and depended on the reasons for doing it, you feel better or worse? I had to do what I did because I had to find out about them. But it didn't help. Even if he was a gunman, I'd given no peace to a dying man. For that, he had to die harder. A man a long way from home. Chester and I rode out into the east the way we figured. Pharaoh and his wife had beheaded.
Kitty
Sun's coming up, Mr. Dylan.
Matt Dillon
I got eyes.
Kitty
Yes.
Matt Dillon
There's a homestead up around the bin. We'll stop and find out if they seen anything.
Kitty
No more than a half hour ago, Marshall. I was fixing to fetch some water when I heard him.
Matt Dillon
They stopped, huh?
Kitty
Yeah. The woman looked tuckered out. Never see a woman with all them skirts ride right the way she did. It was some picture.
Matt Dillon
How long did I stay?
Kitty
Five minutes, maybe. Wife had some coffee and they drank it scalding and took off.
Matt Dillon
Headed east?
Kitty
Yeah. They wanted to know how far to Kinsley. Or maybe they wanted to know the next station. And I told them Kinsley. Santa Fe's doing there for Hutchinson about eight. They do something wrong, Marshall?
Matt Dillon
Just four murders back in Dodge. Come on, Chester. The Pharaohs had enough start on us that if they got the train in Kinsley before we caught up, we'd have to use the telegraph and hope they could be stopped further down the line. With killers like that, there'd be a lot of shooting. And I figured it was my job to be there when it happened. We rode hard. It lacked a couple of minutes before eight when we saw the smoke of the engine. We still had a couple of miles to go to reach the station, and she was moving out when we got there. I swung Aboard and held out a hand for Chester.
Kitty
My running like that, give me a stitch in the side and the puffs.
Matt Dillon
Take it easy, Chester.
Kitty
I sure wish we'd have had time to find out if they was on this train, Mr. Dylan.
Matt Dillon
They ain't.
Kitty
We've lost them.
Michael O'Leary / Male Passenger
Good.
Matt Dillon
Well, we'll see. Now, look, there's a lot of people in those cars up ahead. The Pharaohs see us and they're gonna start shooting, and I don't want that, so go slow. We see them first, get out of sight. We'll wait until they get off the train. Yes, sir. Okay. No, Chester, put away the gun. No shooting on the train.
Kitty
Yes, Mr. Dillon.
Matt Dillon
We started from the last car and moved up. That way they wouldn't see us first. I hoped we could get him without any gunplay at all. Mostly for folks who would get hurt. But I didn't have any stomach for shooting a woman, even if she was a killer. We got to the third car when Chester spotted him.
Kitty
There they are, Mr. Dillon.
Matt Dillon
All right, get back. Okay, we'll just stay here.
Kitty
Conductor's coming this way.
Matt Dillon
Good.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Howdy, Marshall.
Matt Dillon
Mr. Hindson.
Kitty
You on a pleasure ride or business?
Matt Dillon
Business, Mr. Hindson. That couple there in the fourth, fifth seat from the front.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Tall gent?
Matt Dillon
Yeah. And the woman.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Yeah.
Matt Dillon
I wondered about them when they got on. Sure are. Funny pair.
Kitty
She looks a little wore out.
Matt Dillon
They both done murder. Well, Marshall, there's kids in the car. I want to get them without any shooting. As long as they don't see us, it'll be all right. Now, where's your next stop? About 30 miles down the line. Yeah, well, we'll try to figure something out. I hope you can, Marshall. The train rolled on. I saw Ms. Farah take a kid on her lap, play with it. And the mother in the next seat looked on with fond eyes. I wonder what she would have said if she knew. Jack Farah just looked out the window. We didn't make a move. At the next stop, two men got off and there were still some 20 people left in the car besides the killers. About 15 miles beyond, the train pulled up again. I could see a big herd of cattle crossing the tracks. It was going to take a few minutes. Mr. Hindson came down the aisle to the platform where we were standing. Hey, Marshall, I got an ID. See what you think. Yeah, we'll be about 10 minutes. Wait until that herd gets crossed. How about if I tell the folks in the car they can get out, stretch legs for a bit? Might give you a chance. All right, go ahead.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
And stand there, folks, if there's little delay for a cattle crossing. If you want to get off for.
Kitty
A spell, stretch out a bit, there's plenty.
Matt Dillon
We watched slowly, one at a time, they made up their minds. The women glad to let the kids work off steam. The men to size up strange land or somebody else's herd. And they straggled out. There was one old couple that wouldn't move, though. And I saw Mr. Hindson making an eye and a shrug at me. Then they changed their minds and hobbled off. Left the car empty except for The Pharaohs, Chester, Mr. Hindson and me. It's your deal, Marshall. Lucky they didn't decide to get off. I didn't think they would. All right, go ahead, Mr. Hindson, and get those people down the line a bit, huh?
Kitty
Yes.
Matt Dillon
All right, Chester.
Kitty
But.
Chester
This ain't nothing like California, Jackie. I never seen anything so flat. How far you think it goes like this?
Kitty
I don't know.
Chester
You know I ain't going to take me in that. You want to take my gun for a while? Dig him in the river.
Kitty
Hold on. I said hold on to it.
Matt Dillon
All right, get your hands up over you high. And don't turn around. But she must have had her gun already in her hand, wanting to give it to Pharaoh to hold. She was fast. One minute she was upright in the seat and then she was gone, firing at us from behind the scene. Jackie. Jackie. All right, throw out your gun, Ms. Farrow. Sandy, throw out your gun and stand up. I don't want to hurt you.
Julietta
I'll kill you.
Matt Dillon
I'll kill you.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Look out, Mr. Dillon, she's going for his gun.
Matt Dillon
Yeah.
Narrator/Sergeant Jonathan
Chester, give me a hand, will you? Now stop it.
Matt Dillon
She was like a crazy woman. It took both of us to hold her. And we couldn't even do that right until we had our handcuffed to the seat. Then she shut up. He just sat there looking at her husband's body. When we got off at the next stop to wait for the next train back to Dodge, Jack Farrow was taken away in a wagon to be buried. His wife stood by the tracks watching it as it moved off. And it wasn't until the wagon became a dust cloud out on the plane that she started to cry.
Announcer
Gunsmoke, under the direction of Norman McDonald, stars William Conrad as Matt Dillon, U.S. marshal. Tonight's story was specially written for Gunsmoke by Anthony Ellis, with music composed and conducted by Rex Corey. Featured in the cast were Michael Ann Barrett and Tom Tully, with John Dana, Lawrence Dobkin and Jack Crucian, Harley Baer is Chester, Howard McNear is Doc and Georgia Ellis is Kitty. Gun smoke is heard by our troops overseas through the facilities of the Armed Forces Radio Service. Join us again next week as Matt Dillon, U.S. marshal, fights to bring law and order out of the wild violence of the west in Gunsmoke. The scholastic standards are rigid at Madison High. You must have a sense of humor to attend. Listen in to Eve Arden as English teaching our Ms. Brooks any Sunday evening and you'll get the point when Eve takes over the class. Everybody's favorite subject is comedy, so don't forget your Sunday eve is our Ms. Brooks over most of these same CBS radio stations. Be sure to enjoy her tomorrow night. Night George Walsh speaking America's 45 million radio families listen most to the CBS Radio Network.
Kitty
Sam.
Relic Radio Host
There's more from the Columbia Workshop, Gunsmoke, the Relic Radio show and all of the other podcasts at the website. Relicradio.com got a shoutcast stream there with even more old time radio and you can donate through the website as well if you'd like to help support this and all of the shows. Thanks to those who have donated. Thanks for joining me this week. I'll be back tomorrow with an hour of mystery on Case Closed and next Tuesday with our next episode of the Relic Radio Show.
Episode: The Columbia Workshop "In the Train" (1939) & Gunsmoke "Pussycats" (1953)
This episode of The Relic Radio Show, hosted by RelicRadio.com, journeys into radio’s golden age with two vibrant dramas:
The episode immerses listeners in Irish and American storytelling traditions, highlighting contrasting moods—one brooding on justice and scandal, the other taut with suspense and gunfire.
| Time | Quote & Context | Speaker | |-----------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------|-----------------| | 04:56 | “In the eyes of the law she's an innocent woman.” | Sergeant Jonathan| | 17:58 | “There's a great change coming, a great change in the ears of the world.” | Julietta | | 24:07 | “The law is a truly remarkable phenomena. ... for one word...you could be...waiting for the rope.” | Sergeant Jonathan| | 46:01 | “Even if he was a gunman, I’d given no peace to a dying man. For that, he had to die harder.” | Matt Dillon | | 55:24 | “...it wasn't until the wagon became a dust cloud out on the plain that she started to cry.” | Narrator |
For fans of vintage radio, “The Relic Radio Show” continues its mission to uncover and share storytelling from other eras—where character, community, and crisis collide in ways as resonant today as they were then.