The Relic Radio Show – "The Zero Hour: Bend, Spindle and Mutilate" & "The Saint: The Old Man’s Car"

Originally aired: December 31, 2025
Host: RelicRadio.com
Theme: Exploration of classic radio drama, featuring suspenseful mysteries and engaging adventures from the medium’s golden age.

Episode Overview

For the final episode of 2025, The Relic Radio Show presents two legendary radio dramas:

1. The Zero Hour: "Bend, Spindle and Mutilate" (Original airdate: July 1, 1974), a murder mystery set in a sheet music company transformed by computerization.
2. The Saint: "The Old Man’s Car" featuring Vincent Price as Simon Templar, unraveling a deadly case of greed, gangsters, and hidden fortune.

The hour offers listeners suspenseful intrigue, witty dialogue, and that signature atmospheric tension these vintage radio dramas deliver.

1. The Zero Hour: Bend, Spindle and Mutilate

[Starts: ~00:55]

Main Theme

A tale of modernization gone awry: when a small company replaces most of its staff with a computer named Henry, suspicions, old resentments, and murder emerge.

Key Discussion Points & Plot Summary

• Company Restructuring & Suspicion

  • The sheet music business gets a new computer, "Henry," replacing most employees.
  • Suspicion arises when owner Klaus Waxman goes missing and his wife’s mysterious death resurfaces in conversation.
  • The staff dynamic: infighting and finger-pointing among those who remain.

• Waxman’s Disappearance & a Shady Past

  • Private investigator Dominic Yale and staffer Reggie discuss Waxman's disappearance and rumors about his wife’s fatal car wreck—suspecting foul play due to her diabetes and lack of insulin found at the scene ([13:20]).
  • New facts emerge: after his wife’s death, Waxman took control and business flourished, causing further suspicion.

• Technology as Accomplice

  • Critical evidence: unusual punch cards and dentures found among Mrs. Waxman’s belongings. The old tabulating technology is now central to the murder plot.
  • A computer expert confirms these punch cards are for an obsolete machine, raising questions about what they were programmed to do ([31:00]).

• Twists and Confession

  • A staged demonstration with the computer and incriminating punch cards triggers a confession from Olga Worster, who reveals she and Waxman conspired together:
    • "He showed me how to use the computer to devise the perfect crime. And I did." – Olga ([40:20])
    • She admits to both murders; Waxman had kept her dentures and the punch cards as leverage to keep her quiet.
  • The case concludes with the computer’s role as a “machine designed to ease man’s work” becoming an instrument of murder and blackmail.
  • Quote: "We devised the perfect crime. And I did." – Olga Worster, confessing her role ([40:25])
  • Yale wraps up: "Weird. Murder’s always weird, Reggie." ([41:45])

Notable Segments & Timestamps

• Work-life after the computer – [03:00]
• Reggie and Yale’s investigation – [10:30, 13:20]
• Technical analysis with John the computer expert – [31:00]
• Olga’s confession via the computer – [40:10 – 41:20]
• Case closure and denouement – [42:00]

2. The Saint: The Old Man’s Car

[Starts: ~43:30]

Main Theme

Simon Templar (the Saint) is drawn into the violent pursuit for a seemingly worthless old car, which is, in fact, the key to a fortune in stolen cash.

Key Discussion Points & Plot Summary

• A Car Everyone Wants

  • The drama kicks off with Simon stumbling upon thugs trying to steal Collins’ old car—a car multiple strangers have tried to buy, inexplicably.
  • The Saint chides the gangsters with classic wit:
    • “No man’s nuts. What Mac would do if he coveted his neighbor’s jalopy is plug him with a piece of lead pipe and drive off.” – The Saint ([44:00])

• Deeper Ties and Deadly Consequences

  • The car is linked to a $400,000 heist from years prior, with ex-con Smitty, gangster Fancy Dan Turner, and other shadowy parties all converging on Collins.
  • The Saint investigates, only to find Collins murdered and a series of subsequent killings—each player eliminated as competition for the hidden loot ([53:00]).

• The Secret In the Car

  • Through a series of confrontations, including with Mrs. Qualy (widow of the original embezzler), the Saint unravels the mystery:
    • The missing money’s hiding place was smuggled out via a custom-made license plate, which, when found, reveals the fortune is hidden in the very elevator shaft where Qualy once worked ([60:00]).
    • Quote: “It was very smart of him to use his prison job making automobile license plates as a means of smuggling out the information to his wife.” – Ritchie ([69:30])

• Climactic Showdown

  • Richie, the financier, is unmasked as the real mastermind and murdered to protect the secret ([71:00]).
  • As the elevator activates, Richie is crushed by his own greed, and the Saint delivers poetic justice:
    • Quoting Ovid: “Nor is there any juster law than that the contrivers of death should perish by their own contrivances.” – Vincent Price as the Saint ([74:00])

Notable Segments & Timestamps

• Saint’s first encounter with the thugs – [44:00 – 45:30]
• Collins’ murder and introduction to O’ Brien – [54:10]
• Revelation: license plate as clue – [65:30]
• Richie’s villainous monologue and demise – [69:30 – 73:45]
• The Saint’s closing words/Ovid quote – [74:00]

Notable Quotes

• Olga’s confession on computer-aided murder:
  “He showed me how to use the computer to devise the perfect crime. And I did.” – Olga, The Zero Hour ([40:20])

• The Saint’s sardonic humor:
  “No man’s nuts. What Mac would do if he coveted his neighbor’s jalopy is plug him with a piece of lead pipe and drive off.” – The Saint ([44:00])

• Justice and poetic irony:
  “Nor is there any juster law than that the contrivers of death should perish by their own contrivances.” – Vincent Price as The Saint ([74:00])

Overall Tone & Style

• The show blends suspense with light wit—especially evident in The Saint’s banter.
• Underlying message: the dangers of technological progress without ethical consideration and classic crime doesn’t pay.

Listener Takeaways

• Classic radio remains thrilling and relevant. The stories delve into human nature—greed, ingenuity, jealousy—and showcase both the charm and peril of bygone technology.
• The Zero Hour’s sinister computer mystery stands out for its early critique of automation and the dehumanization of work.
• The Saint provides a textbook example of noir-influenced detective drama—sharp dialogue, moral clarity, and a clever twist at the end.