The Rest Is Football
Episode: Quiz: Champions League Top Goalscorers
Date: December 19, 2025
Hosts: Gary Lineker, Alan Shearer, Micah Richards
Overview
In this lively, festive-themed episode, Gary Lineker, Alan Shearer, and Micah Richards dive into a special Christmas quiz focused on the top 10 all-time Champions League goalscorers. With vintage banter, playful competitiveness, and expert football knowledge, the trio try to name each of the top 10, including guessing their goal tallies for bonus points. The episode is packed with insights about legendary strikers, reflections on their impact, and humorous sidetracks about coaching Sunday league football and grassroots stories. By the end, chaos and laughter reign as Gary admits to a quizmaster error, leading to a nail-biting tiebreaker.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The Rules of the Quiz ([03:16])
- Quizmaster Gary explains the task: Name the top 10 Champions League scorers (not including European Cup history).
- Bonus: Guess each player's goal tally for an extra point.
2. The GOATs: Ronaldo & Messi
Cristiano Ronaldo ([04:40])
- Alan's first pick: Cristiano Ronaldo—rightly named as top scorer with 141 goals.
- Quote: "He just sneaks in with 141 goals in first place. ... What an unbelievable career he's had."
— Gary Lineker [04:44] - Reflections on Ronaldo:
- Alan and Gary agree his relentless drive and obsession with numbers elevate him among all-time greats.
- Micah laments that younger fans only know Ronaldo as a goal scorer and not as the tricky winger he once was.
- Quote: "But when I played against him, he was one of the trickiest wingers ever... But obviously, once he moved to that center forward position ... his hunger for goals is just phenomenal."
— Micah Richards [05:38]
Lionel Messi ([06:28])
- Micah's pick: Lionel Messi, second on the list.
- Goal tally guesses: Both miss narrowly—actual is 129.
- Gary: Reflects on Messi's unique gifts—vision, assists, dribbling from impossible spots.
- Alan: Emphasizes both Messi and Ronaldo as "mentality monsters."
- Quote: "They are just the mentality monsters, aren't they, the both of them?"
— Alan Shearer [08:12]
3. Other Legends in the Top 10
Karim Benzema ([08:21])
- Alan's pick: Benzema is 4th.
- Discussion: Gary & Micah applaud Benzema's transition from provider—sacrificing for Ronaldo—to becoming a prolific scorer.
- Quote: "When Cristiano left... he suddenly started scoring more goals. Understandably. So he went from provider, I think, to actually goal scorer as well."
— Gary Lineker [09:31] - Micah recalls: Top performances against Manchester City and debates with fans about Benzema’s class.
Raúl González ([10:29])
- Micah's pick: Raúl, the Spanish legend, is 5th.
- Praise: His intelligence, movement, and consistency without raw pace.
- Quote: "Raúl's just Mr. Consistency, wasn't he? For year after year after year."
— Gary Lineker [11:27]
Robert Lewandowski ([12:07])
- Alan's pick: Lewandowski, 3rd place.
- Alan admires: Lewandowski's ability to keep up with “all those youngsters around him.”
- Quote: "Still going with all those youngsters around him. Must be heaven for it, dude. All these running and still scoring goals."
— Alan Shearer [13:07]
Erling Haaland ([22:02])
- Micah's pick: Haaland, already 10th at his young age (55 goals).
- Alan nabs bonus point by guessing tally exactly.
- Gary marvels: "What an achievement for Haaland to get that already ... 55 Champions League goals already."
— Gary Lineker [23:48]
Kylian Mbappé ([24:00])
- Alan's pick: Mbappé, 6th.
- Both hosts try guessing his tally, with Micah missing by just one goal.*
- Gary notes: Micah has been “so close” all quiz but just missing bonus points.
Thomas Müller ([25:27])
- Micah’s pick: Müller, 9th.
- Goal guesses: Both close—actual is 57.
Ruud van Nistelrooy ([28:49])
- Alan’s pick: van Nistelrooy, 7th, with 60 goals.
- Micah commiserates: "Extraordinary. You’ve been within one so many times."
Andriy Shevchenko ([32:10])
- Micah eventually recalls Shevchenko, 8th all-time. Gets the correct tally (59) only after some confusion and misreading by Gary.
- Gary’s quizmaster slip-up: Reads the numbers wrong, causing confusion but ultimately leads to a tie.
4. Classic Banter, Competition & Side Quests
Grassy Roots Football & Coaching Antics ([14:26], [18:15])
- Micah talks coaching the “worst team in the country” for a Specsavers series, bringing “Micah magic” to an underdog club.
- Alan and Gary poke fun at Micah’s Sunday league results; Micah defends his record.
Grassroots Football's Importance ([18:46])
- Gary reminisces about returning to his childhood football club.
- Alan: "We wouldn't have had the careers we've had... without grassroots football. That's where it all started the love of the game."
5. The Quiz Finale: Tiebreaker & Quizmaster Chaos ([34:09] onward)
Chaos Ensues
-
Gary misreads his quiz list: Confuses Shevchenko and Van Nistelrooy’s goal tallies, resulting in debate and laughter.
- “The quiz master has up Micah.” — Alan Shearer [35:10]
-
Final Tiebreaker:
- Both alternately name other players in the top 20 (Aguero, Kane, Drogba, Griezmann).
- Micah wins by correctly identifying both Antoine Griezmann and his rank.
- Alan accuses Micah, jokingly, of cheating: “He’s got his phone… eyes veering off…”
— [36:42] - Micah: “That’s what I do! Alan Shearer got rumbled.”
— [37:31]
-
Gary closes: Admits his quizmastering was “a shambles”, but calls it a day with hearty congrats to both.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
"They are just the mentality monsters, aren't they, the both of them?"
— Alan Shearer on Messi and Ronaldo [08:12] -
"When I played against him, [Ronaldo] was one of the trickiest wingers ever... But his hunger for goals is just phenomenal."
— Micah Richards [05:38] -
"Raúl's just Mr. Consistency, wasn't he? For year after year after year."
— Gary Lineker [11:27] -
"Still going with all those youngsters around him. Must be heaven for it ... still scoring goals."
— Alan Shearer on Lewandowski [13:07] -
"That was amazing. So it's a tie. So we go into the first person that names someone [in the top 20]."
— Gary Lineker, after realizing his quiz mistake [35:19] -
"That's what I do! Alan Shearer got rumbled ... the VAR show!"
— Micah Richards after clinching the tiebreaker [37:31]
Top 10 Champions League Goalscorers (as revealed)
- Cristiano Ronaldo – 141 goals
- Lionel Messi – 129 goals
- Robert Lewandowski – 105 goals
- Karim Benzema – 90 goals
- Raúl González – 71 goals
- Kylian Mbappé – 64 goals
- Ruud van Nistelrooy – 60 goals
- Andriy Shevchenko – 59 goals
- Thomas Müller – 57 goals
- Erling Haaland – 55 goals
Episode Highlights by Timestamp
- [03:16]: Start of quiz, rules explained
- [04:40]: Ronaldo named as all-time top scorer
- [06:28]: Messi discussed; debate over bonus for precise tally
- [08:21]: Benzema praised for versatility and intelligence
- [10:29]: Raúl’s consistency and career appreciated
- [12:07]: Lewandowski’s longevity and prowess
- [22:02]: Haaland quickly reaches top 10, Alan wins bonus point
- [24:00]: Mbappé’s goal tally, Micah misses bonus by one
- [25:27]: Müller’s efficient Champions League career
- [28:49]: Van Nistelrooy’s tenure recalled
- [32:10]: Micah dramatically names Shevchenko
- [34:09]: Gary’s quizmistake, laughter and tiebreaker begins
- [36:32]: Tiebreaker exchanged; Micah wins with Griezmann pick
- [37:31]: Micah's victory lap and episode wrap-up
Tone & Atmosphere
- The episode is upbeat, competitive, and packed with the hosts’ authentic football banter.
- Humorous quizmaster errors and near-miss bonus guesses add to the Christmas-party feeling.
- Strong camaraderie and mutual football respect shine through the teasing.
In Summary
A festive episode that delivers both football insight and big laughs, showcasing why Lineker, Shearer, and Richards are such a popular podcast trio. Even if you’re not a football stats nerd, their chemistry and storytelling are thoroughly entertaining, with a quiz that reveals as much about their personalities as it does about European football’s greatest names.