Quiz: Who Has The Most Assists In The Premier League

Summary

The Rest Is Football: Quiz – Who Has The Most Assists In The Premier League

Date: May 6, 2026
Hosts: Gary Lineker, Alan Shearer, Micah Richards

Episode Overview

In this lively and nostalgia-packed episode, the trio turns their attention to Premier League history with a special quiz: Who are the top 10 assist-makers in Premier League history? With Micah Richards stepping in as quizmaster, Gary Lineker and Alan Shearer compete to name the players and guess their assist tallies, interspersing the contest with stories, gentle ribbing, and reflections on the game's greatest playmakers.

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Key Discussion Points & Quiz Highlights

1. Premier League Assist Quiz Format

• Quizmaster Micah immediately sets a playful tone:
  • “The viewers want to see Big Beaks host the quiz. And that is what I shall do.” (05:49)
  • Bonus points are awarded for correctly guessing the exact number of assists.
• Contest format: Alternating guesses on players, with league position and assist tallies revealed.

2. Early Front-Runners and Immediate Shocks

• Ryan Giggs is the immediate favourite:
  • “If Ryan Giggs is not in there, then I'm giving up. And now. And I'm never doing a quiz again.” – Gary (07:44)
  • Giggs confirmed as #1 with 162 assists.
• Kevin De Bruyne comes in second:
  • “If there was one player over the last few years I looked at and thought, well, I wish I could have played with you, it would have been Kevin de Bruyne.” – Alan (11:38)
  • Debate over how De Bruyne, despite playing fewer seasons, is so high on the list.

3. Surprising Omissions and Near-Misses

• David Beckham:
  • Notably just misses the top 10 (he's 11th with 80 assists), prompting disbelief:

    “How can he not be in the top 10? David Beckham.” – Gary (13:54)

• Paul Scholes is a shock:
  • “He's not even in the top 20. Oh, my word goes.” – Micah (24:50)
  • Only 55 assists, sparking discussion about underrated playmakers.

4. Other Notable Top 10 Inclusions

• Wayne Rooney is #4 with 103 assists.
  • “He would have been the best player in whatever position he played in, I think.” – Alan (16:59)
• Steven Gerrard (#9), David Silva (#8), Frank Lampard (#5), James Milner (#10) and Mo Salah (joint #7) all feature, each prompting commentary about their style and impact.

5. The “Almost” List

• Other greats—Teddy Sheringham (#13), Son Heung-min (#17), Thierry Henry (#14), and Christian Eriksen (#12)—are guessed but fall outside the top 10.
  • “Teddy Sheringham was a bloody good footballer… proper 10… really clever player.” – Alan & Gary (26:14)
• The panel reflects on how leaving the Premier League or playing in different positions may have affected players’ standings.

6. Forgotten Legends and Late Deductions

• Cesc Fàbregas is a late, game-changing answer:
  • “Fabregas is number three. What a shout that is. Come on.” – Micah (34:25)
• Dennis Bergkamp is finally guessed with the help of clues for his “elegance” and “one of the greatest goals in Premier League history.”
  • “Dennis Bergkamp.” – Alan, as the winning answer (36:53)

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Most Memorable Quotes & Banter

• On quiz competitiveness:
  • “I was going to say those number of games.” – Alan, flustered after numeric confusion (09:15)
• Self-deprecation on aging:
  • “Because at my age, Micah, if you don't write down what you see immediately, you forget.” – Gary (15:53)
• Classic banter after a wrong answer:
  • “No way. We don't do half points. Do you do half pints? No, you wouldn't, would you?” – Micah to Gary and Alan (14:42)
• On David Silva’s magical touch:
  • “Seriously, his touch, I think, was the best I've ever seen. Ever played with or not ever seen. Ever played with, I would say. And his spatial awareness…” – Micah (21:16)
• On winning at last:
  • “Well done, Al. You finally won a quiz.” – Micah (37:57)
  • “Yes!” – Alan (37:59)

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Top 10 Premier League Assists List (As Revealed in the Episode)

Positioning and assist numbers discussed during the quiz, in order:

1. Ryan Giggs – 162
2. Kevin De Bruyne – 119
3. Cesc Fàbregas – 111
4. Wayne Rooney – 103
5. Frank Lampard – 102
6. Dennis Bergkamp – 94
7. David Silva – 93
8. Mo Salah – 93 (joint)
9. Steven Gerrard – 92
10. James Milner – 90

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Notable Timestamps

• [07:44] Gary insists Giggs must be #1 or he’ll “never do a quiz again.”
• [11:38] Alan’s admiration for playing with De Bruyne.
• [13:54] Disbelief as Beckham is revealed to be only 11th.
• [16:59] Alan’s high praise for Rooney’s all-round abilities.
• [21:16] Micah’s inside story on David Silva’s technical gifts.
• [24:50] The shock of Scholes missing the top 20.
• [34:19] Cesc Fàbregas finally remembered and slotted into third place.
• [36:53] Alan clinches the quiz with Dennis Bergkamp.

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Episode Tone and Chemistry

True to the show's reputation, the chemistry between the hosts is electric. The banter is fast-paced, especially as they mock each other over guesses, play up generational differences, and reminisce about legendary teammates and moments. Micah’s energetic quizmaster act is punctuated by Alan’s dry wit and Gary’s mix of quick thinking and comic confusion.

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Conclusion & Final Score

Alan Shearer triumphs after a tense back-and-forth, clinching the win by recalling Dennis Bergkamp as the final missing name. The episode is as informative as it is funny, celebrating the artistry of Premier League creators and providing ample “pub quiz” ammunition for listeners.

“Well done, Al. You finally won a quiz.” – Micah (37:57)
“Yes!” – Alan (37:59)

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This quiz episode is a must-listen for Premier League stats enthusiasts and fans of top-flight football history. Even if you missed it, you'll walk away with new appreciation for the game's greatest creators—and a few laughs at the hosts’ expense.

Transcript

[A]

I sold my car in Carvana last night.

[B]

Well, that's cool.

[A]

No, you don't understand. It went perfectly. Real offer down to the penny. They're picking it up tomorrow. Nothing went wrong.

[B]

So what's the problem?

[A]

That is the problem. Nothing in my life goes as smoothly. I'm waiting for the catch.

[B]

Maybe there's no catch.

[A]

That's exactly what a catch would want me to think.

[B]

Wow. You need to relax.

[A]

I need to knock on wood. Do we have wood? Is this table wood? I think it's laminate. Okay. Yeah, that's good. That's close enough. Car selling without a catch. Sell your car today on Carvana.

[B]

Pick up.

[A]

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[C]

The quiz master has already let us down.

[A]

Hashtag thickasfuck94. No, guys just got one up.

[B]

Ooh, that looks like a face of disbelief at the fact that he's not in the top 10. Ooh,

[A]

he's not even in the top 20.

[C]

I must get half a point for that. That's close. Come on.

[A]

We don't do half points. Do you do half pint? No, you wouldn't, would you?

[C]

Good point, Shira.

[B]

That's his new nickname. Gonna go 100 goals.

[A]

Well, we're not doing goals, are we?

[C]

Someone get his meds.

[A]

Get his meds. He needs an injection. It's time. It'.

[B]

Hello and welcome to the Rest Is Football quiz episode with Micah Richards as host master Alan Shearer and me, Gary Lineker. We'll come to the quiz very shortly, but how's your week been? You up to anything exciting?

[C]

Apart from the best game ever on Tuesday evening?

[A]

A bit of golf.

[C]

Oh, and golf. The weather is amazing. The golf is. Courses are great. This. This is when you must miss it.

[B]

Guys, I can walk outside and get the sunshine and I don't need to

[C]

know, but it's walking like on the. Along the course line. On the golf, the walking bit was

[B]

the Best bit for me. I don't know, to be honest. No, I love golf for a long time, but I just didn't like me on the golf course because it's so frustrating. So frustrating game. But when you get a beautiful day though, there's nothing quite like it really.

[A]

Are you any good, Al, or what? Because every time you're just effing and Jeff saying how bad she was.

[C]

That's what golf does to you, Maker. Oh, yeah, Sometimes I am. Not all the time.

[B]

No, definitely not all the time.

[C]

No.

[B]

No.

[A]

What about you guys? What have you been doing with yourself?

[B]

Well, that's a good question. I did a little event for. For Netflix yesterday. I went along, spoke to our masters, if I can describe them as that, and had a launch of some of their shows. They've got coming up, some of the documentaries and obviously talking about. The rest is football World cup, which we'll be doing. Obviously it's coming. It's creeping ever closer. It's getting really near now. So that. That was all right. That was fun. Did that, you know, 180 strand. Have you been there yet, Mike? And then I went for a drink and that's marvelous.

[A]

I think it's the best one in London. Yeah.

[B]

And then I went to dinner at Motorino which was. Was brilliant. Yeah. London, Italian.

[C]

What about you, Big mix?

[A]

What about me? What have I been doing? Traveling. I was working yesterday. More commercials. World cup in. You know what I mean? You've got to get them in, lads.

[C]

You've got to get them in Kirching. You're just non stop, aren't you? You're just non stop.

[A]

I just love the game, Alan. I love the game.

[B]

I love the game. Fine. Right, we're going to do a quiz in just a moment. I'm nervous actually. This episode is powered by Fuse Energy. Before we kick off a quick pre match warm up from Fuse, a question on the teams and players who make things count. Which Premier League players scored the most go as a substitute in 2425?

[C]

Duran is my answer.

[A]

It's not Duran. It's even Muniz or Wilson. I'm gonna go Wilson then.

[B]

Well, you're both wrong. It's Muniz. So the winner is the person that is closest to guessing the number of goals that Rodrigo Muniz scored coming off the bench last season.

[C]

6.

[A]

I'll go one up then. 7.

[B]

The answer is 6. Yay. The best teams find an edge wherever they can. It should be the same with your energy. Take control of your energy. Like it's part of your game plan. Sign [e-mail] football using code football all uppercase to save on your energy. Bill and get the chance to ask us your football question on the pod. Full terms and [e-mail] I'm gonna hand over to a master of ceremony.

[A]

Finally.

[B]

Honestly, I feel slightly uncomfortable. I wanted to be. I like being the quizmaster because I don't know what's coming. So over to you, Micah.

[A]

The viewers want to see Big Beats host the quiz. And that is what I shall do.

[C]

No pressure, no mistakes.

[A]

Micah. This week's quiz, guys.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Most assists in the Premier League. You know how it works. One of you will go first.

[C]

Most assists in the Premier League.

[A]

Top 10.

[B]

We'll go with the top 10 here, Mikey. You're asking us two strikers. Two strikers who hardly ever assisted in our careers about persist, right? Okay.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Am I allowed to write anything down?

[A]

You can write it all down. I've got all the. The paper here. You give us your top 10.

[B]

That's just an old script of La Liga. Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And rest is football. La Liga episode. And on the back is a white sheet of paper.

[A]

I'm gonna be watching as well. If there's any eye movement. If you move your eyes left and right, focus on the camera, please. No cheating.

[B]

Harry. Just go and get my sunglasses, would you?

[A]

Okay, but this is what I'm gonna do. The twist, though. Oh, because I'm the quiz master. Yeah. If you get the amount of assists, I'm gonna give you a bonus. How's that?

[B]

The number of assists. Micah, just to. Just your grammar there. That's.

[A]

Sorry. Oxford Dictionary over there.

[C]

The quiz master has already let us down. Thick as.

[B]

Not true. It's a tricky one. It's. I've made the same error many times with that one.

[A]

And who's going to go first? Is it going to be Alan or Gary today?

[C]

Well, we'll let the newcomer go first if he wants to age before.

[B]

Oh, no, not beauty. Age before the beast. I'll go first. Assists. Well, there's a few obvious ones. I think I would. If Ryan Giggs is not in there, then I'm. I'm giving up. And now. And I'm never doing a quiz again.

[A]

Okay. Is that your answer or.

[B]

Hey, Mike,

[A]

don't change out me, guys.

[B]

Ryan Giggs final answer.

[A]

And Ryan Giggs is number one.

[B]

Two place for number one or not?

[A]

No, no, no, no. But if you get the number, not the amount, the number of assists, you're

[C]

in for a bonus oh, how many games? Years.

[B]

I mean, either of us jump in, right? Okay, so how many years would he have played? About 20

[C]

more.

[B]

I don't know what. Because assists never. There's never as many as goals. They're never the same number. There's always fewer assists than there are goals. Maybe. So let them. The top goals. I can't remember who the top goal scorer is of all time.

[C]

140.

[B]

I'm gonna go 132.

[A]

Both incorrect. Well, obviously 162.

[C]

Oh, well, I'm closer, so I'll get a point. No, nope.

[A]

No, I didn't say closest.

[C]

Stupid quid master. To do it for. For that long to be. To be that good for those amount of years is ridiculous.

[B]

A number of years, Al.

[C]

I was going to say something else

[A]

and I've changed my mind.

[C]

I was going to say those number of games.

[B]

That was in the days when wingers generally were. If you're a left winger, you had a left foot. Nowadays that's kind of changed the other way around, isn't it? So he was. I mean, I actually played against Ryan Giggs. He was one player, you know, like with James Milner with you. Yeah, you played against him. He's like the one player that's still playing that went in your era. Giggs was like that for me for years. So actually still. And I played one of his very, very early games, which was one of my. My last game ever actually was at Old Trafford and Ryan Giggs, that game, so. And you could see even then how special he was. I mean, and also he's got his pretty good tally of goals as well, so. What a player, eh, Micah?

[A]

Okay, a little bit of trivia for you guys.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Where did I play with Ryan Giggs?

[B]

Olympics.

[A]

Okay, guys, I tell you what, you wasted as a host. That is fantastic knowledge.

[B]

Well, well, you didn't play for Man United, so I mean, it wasn't that hard. And he's not English, so you couldn't have played in World cup or. Well, you didn't play in the World cup, obviously.

[A]

But anyway, Alan, are you.

[C]

It has to do the obvious one is Kevin De Bruyne as well. Gotta be. Gotta be in the top three.

[A]

Has to be Kevin De Bruyne, Alan says. And you are also correct. Yes, he is in at number two.

[B]

Oh, De Bruyne. Is he? Wow.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

What a good start that is. We've got one and two guys.

[B]

Well, I think that there are a few obvious ones. Then it might get a bit tricky. But what about.

[A]

I mean, before we go on to him and, you know, talk about him, do you want to guess the number of assists for a bonus point?

[C]

How many was Ryan Giggs was. What did you say again?

[A]

162.

[C]

162.

[B]

GOT gigs played for a long time. Almost twice the era of De Bruyne. I'll go, I'll go. I'm going to go the same guess as I did last time. 1, 3, 2.

[A]

Gary says 1, 3, 2.

[C]

Alan.

[A]

110, 119.

[B]

Oh, we're pretty much in the middle.

[A]

In the middle.

[B]

Guy Giggs is Miles clear, isn't he?

[A]

Miles, yeah.

[C]

If there was one player over the. Over the last few years I looked at and thought, well, I wish I could have played with you, it would have been Kevin de Bruyne.

[B]

I'd say exactly this. I mean, definitely. I think my next pick might be the other one I'd like to have played with, but I'll come to that in a moment. But I mean, we did one of our moments that made them specials, didn't we, on. On Kevin de Bruyne? I mean, there's some magical moments in there. Some. I mean, it wasn't just assists, but it's incredible goals as well. But he's one of those players that. Just one of those wide when he was playing in wide areas as well, when he drifted and he was either 10 to the right mainly. And then he did that lovely ball between the keeper and the bat line and Jeff Boycott's words, the corridor of uncertainty.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I think not a lot of people talk about him, how good he is technically, but I think you've got to go mentality as well because remember he was at Chelsea.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And it didn't work out for him and we've seen at that age, if it don't work out, you can go, you know, to a team. He went to Germany, he did really well and then he come back a superstar. Everyone was talking about the price tag at the time and he absolutely destroyed the Premier League. So, yeah, what a player he is

[B]

absolutely one of the best.

[A]

Gaz, you're up.

[B]

Getting nervous now. I've got a couple of. I've got a few names in my head.

[C]

I was just about to see where

[A]

your eyes going there, G. That's the

[B]

list of the goals. No Jean from Gaz, from my side. I've got a witness more than you two have got. Do you think he'd allow me to cheat? I'm deliberately not looking at him for any help. I don't need Any help yet? Okay, I'm just suddenly thinking the guy I was thinking of, he must have. He must be up there sorely somewhere in the top 10. David Beckham.

[A]

What Good shout that is.

[B]

He's wrong. He's playing my game. I'll be too much.

[A]

No. And David beckon, he's number 11, You imbecile.

[B]

Oh, Im off. I mean, he played J. Blimey play. He. That was what I suddenly thought. He did leave. He did go abroad.

[C]

So I thought that was a very, very good shout that, guys.

[B]

I mean, how can he not be in the top 10? David Beckham.

[A]

No, he's not in the top 10. He's number 11.

[B]

Jeez.

[A]

But you can bring it back, guys, with a bonus. You can guess the amount.

[C]

So he's 11. And what, what, what was. What was.

[B]

De Bruyne was a two.

[A]

De Bruyne was 119.

[C]

119 gigs.

[A]

162 in number one.

[B]

I'll go 61. It's got to be lower than I would. Never thought it'd be that low.

[A]

But Nope, incorrect.

[B]

Alan.

[C]

75.

[B]

80.

[A]

Oh, 80. 80.

[B]

God, it's tight in there, isn't it? If he's 11th, I must get half

[C]

a point for that. That's close. Come on.

[B]

No. No way.

[A]

We don't do half points. Do you do half pints? No, you wouldn't, would you?

[C]

Good point.

[B]

Shearer. That's his new nickname.

[C]

That's illegal, having half a pint of Guinness.

[B]

How could Beckham not be in there?

[A]

How good was he, though, guys? Come on. Al, you played with him a lot, didn't you?

[C]

I did with it with England. I mean, that, that right foot was.

[B]

Can I ask you a question? Why is your. Your career tally so low with. If you played with Beckham so low?

[A]

Exactly. You know what, what a great point that is. He always said, oh, if I would have someone like Kevin De Bruyne, I would have scored. What's the word to use a hat full of goals. He had David Beckham.

[C]

The teams were a lot tougher in the 90s, guys. That right foot of his open a tin of beans, wouldn't it. It was that good.

[B]

So accurate with it.

[C]

It's fantastic. Yeah, it's just. It was nothing complicated. I. I mean, he was a great player, but what that. One of his best traits was how he just moved the ball that one yard and whipped it in with Pierce. Or moved it one yard and made that. Made that pass. It was. It was. He was brilliant at it.

[B]

I'm just writing down a few thoughts, names that. Because I. Because at my age Mike, if you don't write down what you see immediately you forget because that's what happens when you get old, particularly footballers. But I'm obviously not cheating, otherwise I wouldn't have gone with David Beckham, would I?

[A]

Oh, we should be calling him Sir David Beckham.

[B]

Not now, he's 11th. How can you be knighted if you're only 11?

[C]

My guess, I gotta say Wayne Rooney.

[A]

Alan, you would be correct saying Wayne Rooney. Let's have a guess at the number please.

[C]

What was Sir David in 11th again? Remind me.

[A]

Sir David was 80.

[C]

What, what is win?

[A]

Wayne is number four.

[B]

Blimey's fourth.

[C]

95, 96.

[A]

103. Oh, assists.

[C]

We'll get, we're close.

[A]

You're getting closer.

[C]

103, he's, he's another one. Rooney was just incredible player. He would have been the best player in whatever position he played in, I think.

[A]

Agreed.

[B]

I wouldn't disagree with that. Unless I'm not sure about goalkeeper because he's not that big. But that aside.

[A]

Right, okay come on guys, we need something here. You two, one down.

[B]

I know I've got to get one here now I'm nervous. This is such obvious names. They've got to be in there, surely.

[A]

Stevie G, Steven Gerard. He's in. Don't worry guys, he's in.

[B]

Where is he?

[A]

He is number nine.

[B]

Oh, only Justin but I'll take that. Ends in Stevie gerard. So he's nine. Rooney was fourth with 103. So I'm going. I think he was 80, 84, 86, 92. What a player, Stev, all round player as well.

[C]

Fantastic player, great athlete, great energy, great ability.

[A]

You know what, he's a good pundit as well, isn't he?

[B]

He's good on the game. You can see why he went into. I think he, I think he'd like to go back into it. I mean he did really well at Rangers, didn't he? Yeah, in the league and then he, it was like almost as though his first kind of iffy spell in management and he was gone, you know, so. And then obviously he's been in, in the Middle east for quite a while and now he's come back doing a bit of punditry. But yeah, he knows the game. Knows the game, sand knows the game.

[A]

He was the one. You know when you go to, to England trading and you're only a youngster and you know you think you're good, you've got on the you know, the Free Line shirt. I deserve to be a part of it. But he was a different level, like nothing I've ever seen. Touch, technique, shooting, tackling, fitness. And he was boot lending, bootlending. Do you remember my bootleg? I'm still annoyed with him, though, because I told the story about him. Him lending me his boots for trading and all that and I thought I was amazing in training. Unbelievable. I've said that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But the thing I was most disappointed by, he didn't give me his boots after I asked for his boots and he said no.

[B]

Can I just say that I understand I've got this unreliable. That those boots that you borrowed are now in his. On his mantelpiece.

[C]

Michael Richards wore these.

[B]

Michael Richards wore these on there. A true. A true great. At least I've got two.

[A]

So that is.

[B]

Oh, too all too all but ourselves go.

[A]

But you've had one more.

[B]

Yeah, but that doesn't matter. I just went first. It's the advantage of going first. But go on, Al.

[C]

I've got this one last name and I'm struggling after this one. I think he should be in Silver. David Silver.

[A]

David Silver.

[B]

He's in. I can tell from.

[A]

Yes, yes, he's in at number 7O.

[C]

So Rooney was. What was Rooney?

[A]

Rooney was 103. Steven Gerrard was 92. In ninth.

[C]

103. And Rooney was in. What did you say? Fifth or fourth?

[A]

Rooney was in fourth.

[C]

90.

[B]

Well, he can't be 90 because Gerald's got 92 and he's ninth, so well done.

[C]

Can I have another go?

[B]

No, you can't because I need a. I need. I've got to get one right. Bang on it. I guess I'm gonna go 94.

[A]

Just got one up.

[B]

Yeah, but he's too clear of him. He's in seventh. If he'd have been eighth, I'd have gone 93. Whoever's eighth has definitely got 19. Well, not necessarily 93. No, not necessarily. Could have 92 or 93.

[A]

David Silver. 93. Oh, God.

[C]

Come on.

[B]

Oh, I want to wait to see. I'm waiting for your hand. To the break, Micah. I mean, you tell us about David Silva, because obviously you play with him.

[A]

Micah Magician. Seriously, his touch, I think, was the best I've ever seen. Ever played with or not ever seen. Ever played with, I would say. And he's his spatial awareness, you know, like when you do the rondos. So the little box games people call him before. He never give the ball away.

[B]

And he's circle in Spanish.

[A]

Circle. They call it in Spanish and you're thinking, how is he doing that? And you look at him and he's only slight. And when he was moving around the pitch and he's up against aggressive midfielders that just had no chance because he was just always. He just lend it then get on it. Get on the half term. Pass it. Pass a move. Extraordinary player.

[C]

And he's a great lad as well.

[A]

Proper great ladder. Loves a bevy.

[B]

It's got a vineyard in. I think it's in.

[C]

It's what?

[B]

It's certainly in one of the Canary Islands. And I actually, I. Yeah, I saw it thinking I bought some nice. I've got some in my. They're white wine, slightly cloudy, but I think that that's the nature of it. But yeah, it's got his. Yeah, so his own wine. What about that?

[A]

Well, speaking of whining, I mean I'm gonna have a little wine going into the break. See you shortly. Don't worry about me, guys. I got this.

[B]

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[B]

Me? I'm next to go, guys.

[A]

Is next to go.

[B]

Okay, I'm gonna throw in it's copy in there. Such a great player. Paul Scholes.

[C]

Oh, what a good shout. Oh. Oh, that frown's not very good.

[B]

Oh, that looks like a. A face of disbelief at the fact that he's not in the top 10.

[A]

He's not even in the top 20. Oh, my word goes.

[C]

That's a surprise.

[A]

Eight each of these stats.

[B]

Right, mate, you sounded like Gary Neville doing commentary there.

[A]

He's not even in the top 20, guys.

[B]

Oh, I'm having him. Shocker. Really? That.

[C]

That surprises me.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

55 assists.

[A]

55 assists.

[B]

It was actually bang average then I was sort of. Skulls is a great player and one of the great passes of the football we've ever seen. Maybe he was a sideways merchant. How can he not look?

[C]

Crikey, that's a bit of a surprise. Not even in the top 20. Bloody hell.

[A]

Only 55. I didn't know that.

[B]

Oh, dear. I was going to win a quiz.

[C]

My guessing.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

Struggling now, guys. I'm gonna go with a lad I played with, Teddy Sheringham.

[B]

Teddy?

[C]

Yeah, Teddy. Yes, Teddy.

[A]

Teddy.

[C]

Well, Edward Sheringham.

[A]

I mean, he's certainly not in the top 10.

[B]

Oh, I didn't think he would be, actually.

[C]

It's better than Paul Scholes, that's for sure. In terms of numbers, better player. No, no, no.

[B]

Actually, Teddy Sheringham was a bloody good footballer.

[C]

He was clever.

[B]

Proper 10 when he.

[C]

Really clever player.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Where was he on the list, Micah?

[A]

He was number 13.

[B]

Unlucky for somehow.

[A]

Lucky for some.

[C]

Well, I was born on the 13th, so it's fine.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. Right. God, no. Teddy Sheringham.

[C]

I'm struggling now. Aren't we, guys?

[B]

A little bit. I'm gonna go for a guy that is known mainly for scoring goals, not assists, but he also must have had a lot of assists. Frank Lampard.

[A]

Now we're cooking gas. Number five.

[B]

Number five. And I'm gonna go 100 goals.

[A]

Well, we're not doing goals, are we?

[C]

Someone at get his meds.

[A]

Get his meds.

[C]

He needs an injection.

[A]

It's time. It's time. It's time. Eight. Quick eight. He's only got four minutes. Quick. Hang on, hang on. That's the Aderall.

[B]

He's back.

[A]

He's back.

[C]

He's had injections. Thank God for that.

[B]

Oh, God, you didn't let me finish my sentence.

[A]

Yeah, I believe that's a tie though, now, isn't it?

[C]

No, you got. Was it?

[B]

Yeah, but sure, go.

[C]

We haven't had the number of assists yet.

[B]

I've gone 100 with the assists. Assists. Assists.

[A]

100, Alan.

[C]

100. One.

[A]

Oh my God. It's 102 games. Oh my God.

[B]

Oh, so close. So close. I mean, Frank's all round game. I mean I saw that thing again with Harry Redknapp. The interview he does when he's talking to the West Ham fans. When Lampard was a kid and he was. Someone was going, why are you playing? You know, he's kid. He's not. Got it. Frank sitting next to him, he looks about, I don't know, 17, 18 at the time. And he's going to. This lad is going all the way to the top. You. It was like, wow, really good doing it next to him. And he was, I think he's fair to say he was right. So I was pretty confident, Frank Lampard of being there all round game. Incredible. Incredible.

[C]

My guess, yes. Longevity. You mentioned him earlier, someone who I played with just because he's been around for years and years and years. James Milner. Left back, right back, right wing, central midfield, everywhere. It's gotta be, isn't he?

[A]

He would be in there, Alan. And he's number 10.

[B]

Oh, yes, he is in there.

[A]

He is in there.

[B]

Don't do that to me. Just. Yeah, I mean he's a player. That's. I.

[A]

No, hold on. You get to guess the amount.

[B]

Oh, yeah, we've got to guess the goals.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Assist.

[C]

It's wearing off already now they take

[B]

a bit of time to kick in. James Milner, 80. No, it's more than that. It's gotta be more than that. It's gotta be 90.

[A]

I thought that one. You're back in the game. Back in the game. He's back in the game. He's back in the game. It's four roll going into sudden death.

[B]

Well, it's not sudden death yet because obviously we've got to get the whole top ten, haven't we?

[A]

Oh, you got to get the. Yeah, three more. Yeah. No. Yeah. Number three. Six, seven. Three.

[B]

Who we missing? There's a big name in there. Come on. We're missing.

[C]

I've got one more name that I can chuck at you.

[B]

It's not your go, is it?

[C]

I know. No, it's not.

[B]

Shut up then. Oh, come on, Gary. This is where it gets.

[A]

Come on.

[B]

Young Min Son.

[A]

Incorrect. Oh, he's number 17, guys.

[B]

Is he that low?

[C]

How many did Hyung Ming son have?

[A]

He had 71 in 17.

[C]

Did he say?

[B]

Yeah. Well, that ain't gonna help you, is it? Oh, at least I was deliberately doing it not to help you.

[C]

Mo Salah.

[A]

Mo Salah. Running down the way would be correct.

[C]

Alan. Yes. Big Meeks.

[A]

Come on.

[C]

Big Al's back in the game.

[B]

How did I not think of Mo Salah? Where's he?

[A]

He is number seven.

[C]

Oh, oh.

[B]

93 goals correct. Yeah.

[C]

Hang on a minute, hang on.

[A]

You give it, you give it. Bit of weird. You said there were joints.

[C]

Correct.

[A]

It was. It was Fastest finger, wasn't it?

[C]

But he said 93 goals again.

[A]

Well, he's on his men. He's alive again.

[B]

Anyway, we got to get the names. Oh, Mo Salah.

[A]

So that would be five all. Guys.

[B]

Hang on a minute. He was at seventh, Micah.

[A]

He was.

[B]

He wasn't.

[A]

He was.

[B]

No, he must be joint sixth.

[A]

He's joined seventh, Gaz.

[B]

Right, sorry. Yeah, got it.

[A]

You see, you listen. You've got to listen.

[B]

Yeah, but I worked out he got the same amount of assist. Oh, Mo. Mo. The news has just come out that he might make the end of the season. The hamstring injury wasn't as bad as feared, so. Because it'd be nice for him to get a proper goodbye for. I mean, God, he's had some great moments for Liverpool, isn't he?

[C]

Unbelievable.

[A]

Top notch.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, he was. It might have not had the same. I don't want to say ability, but say Hazard would get the ball, run past everyone. But Salah was just more efficient, wasn't he? Soon as he get the ball and he had all that. He had the dribbling. I remember a couple amazing goals that he scored. But his first thought was score a goal as well. You know, do the dribbling and score a goal where Hazard might try do the dribbling and get the assist. So it was just a little bit more direct in the end, I would say. Salah. I love him. What a player.

[C]

Fantastic. Great goal scorer.

[A]

Five all.

[B]

Who's the obvious one? We're missing it.

[A]

Two to get. Guys, think. I don't want to give no clues because it'd be too easy. Come on, think, think, think. Ball players. Guys.

[B]

I know. I'm thinking Leticia.

[A]

Incorrect.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Not in the top 20, was he?

[B]

Not really, no. Because he did. Yeah. He shot from everywhere. Right.

[C]

Thierry Henry.

[B]

Oh, for sake. He's got to be in there.

[A]

Incorrect.

[B]

Cherry's not in there.

[A]

Number 14. 14. Oh, I've got one.

[C]

I've got one.

[B]

Oh, God, there's something obvious.

[C]

I've got another one.

[A]

It's a good quiz though, this, guys. I'm liking it.

[C]

You're gonna get this.

[B]

Any clues, Micah?

[C]

No. Clues.

[A]

Clues on the next round.

[B]

I'll go. Harry Kane. I know it's not in there, but

[A]

Harry Kane is not in the 20.

[B]

No, I don't think he would be.

[C]

Might make myself look foolish here.

[B]

But I've done it already for you, Al, so don't worry.

[C]

Just trying to think of players over the past years and I think I'm going to chuck one in. Who was a great little player. Arsenal, Chelsea. Oh, I'm on the right track, lads.

[B]

Yeah, but can you think of his name?

[C]

Doing a great job in management as we speak. Am I on the right track?

[B]

Oh, hell yes, of course it is. He's third.

[C]

Fabregas.

[B]

He's third. How the have I not thought of Fabregas?

[C]

Is he in me?

[B]

Of course he is.

[A]

Is number three. What a shout that is. Come on. You can still bring it back with a bonus though. Gas. Yeah, it is six five to Alan at the moment.

[B]

110, Alan.

[C]

109.

[B]

Oh, we're close, but no cigar. I think.

[A]

111. Oh, my God, that is so unlucky.

[B]

We got one to get and it's one to get.

[A]

I'll give you a clue now. Guess I'll give you both a clue. Yeah, just think elegance. Just think first touch.

[C]

Are we on? Shouting out world here. Are we just on?

[A]

It's Gaz's go. Do you want one more clue, guys, or not?

[B]

No, you can't because it's. I'll need to win a quiz. That's what I'm here for.

[C]

Well, I have got most of them. I think I've got seven of them today. Just lost out on the numbers. Christian Eriksen.

[A]

No, in. Well, he's number 12 and it's not your go.

[C]

Well, I know we're just in shouting out more, don't we?

[A]

So I'm gonna give Gaz another clue.

[B]

Think.

[A]

One of the greatest goals in Premier League history.

[C]

Oh, I've got it, I've got it, I've got it. Come on, guys, your time's up.

[B]

There's so many great that's giving me it. Graceful. I'm at this. I told you I would be. I'm waiting to the end of it. I'm making for my whole time here. I don't know. Hazard.

[C]

Wrong.

[B]

I know

[A]

wrong.

[B]

You would be wrong. You got it, Alan.

[A]

Go on, put him out his misery.

[C]

Dennis Bergkamp.

[A]

Correct.

[B]

Christ almighty.

[C]

One of the greatest goals. Assisted himself. I was playing in that game.

[B]

Oh, well, that's too big an advantage.

[A]

That's seven, five. But you know what? I'll give you Two points. No, you can't give you two points. I don't have to think about anyone else.

[B]

No, just give it to Al. Give it to Al. He needs to win one. The last two. Seth Fabric has since. Oh, God.

[C]

Does that make me the winner, Micah?

[A]

Well, no, because I told you, when Big Beaks is a quiz master, this is a twist. Guess the number gaze and I'm gonna give you two bonus.

[B]

I don't even want to get it because then I'll have to pick someone else.

[C]

So what position was he in?

[A]

He was in six.

[B]

97, Alan.

[C]

96.

[A]

It was 94.

[B]

Thank God for that. I couldn't cope with picking another one day. Well done, Al. Well done.

[A]

Well done, Al. You finally won a quiz.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Can I have my job back, Mike? Yes.

[A]

Over to you guys.

[B]

That's it for this week's episode of the Rest is humiliation.

[C]

Goodbye from me.

[A]

Goodbye from me.

[C]

Goodbye from me.

[A]

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[B]

Some Follow the noise. Bloomberg follows the money.

[A]

Whether it's the funds fueling AI or

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Crypto's trillion dollar swings, there's a money side to every story.

[A]

Get the money side of the story. Subscribe [e-mail] hey mama. Thanks for making all my favorite recipes.

[B]

Hi, Ma. Thanks for your unfiltered advice.

[A]

Hi Mom. Thanks for always being by the phone. Hey Mom. Happy Mother's Day. When you ship UPS Air at the UPS Store, your items arrive on time or your money back guaranteed at no extra cost. Exclusively at the UPS Store US Retail locations. Visit the UPS Store Airshipping for full details. Terms and conditions apply. Send your Mother's Day gifts at the UPS store and we'll get your gratitude there on time.