A CR Month Mailbag!

Summary

The Rewatchables: A CR Month Mailbag! (March 19, 2026)

Episode Overview

This special mailbag episode of The Rewatchables is a deep-dive celebration of "CR Month," dedicated to co-host Chris Ryan (CR). Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Craig Horbeck field listener questions, brainstorm new categories, and debate the ever-evolving lexicon of "rewatchable" movies. Topics range from recurring podcast moments, new category ideas, film trivia, and insider jokes, to broader film culture debates about narration, athletic authenticity, and peak actor moments.

Tone: Conversational, funny, deeply nerdy, and surprisingly affectionate, with the hosts poking fun at themselves and one another while riffing on movies and podcast culture.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Meaning of "CR Month" and Favorite Rewatchables

• [01:10]
  • Bill congratulates CR and the "CR Army." CR jokes CR Month is like "attending my own funeral."
  • Discussion on each host’s “number 16 Limitless” – their own inexplicably beloved but not-great movie.
    • Craig: Margin Call (rewatched the most this century)
    • Bill: Limitless
    • Chris: Accepted, with a detour into love/hate for Fever Pitch

2. Analyzing Classic Podcast Rhythm and On-Pod Habits

• [05:11]
  • A listener notices CR gets "wound up" ~40 minutes before the end. Hypotheses: excitement for categories, load management, or pod fatigue.
    • Chris: “It probably comes right after you do like a minute long Zane Lowe impression.” [05:11]
    • Craig: “I have like an internal game clock. At 51 minutes, I’ve checked out.” [05:29]

3. Brainstorming and Expanding Podcast Categories

• Discussion of potential new or upgraded categories for The Rewatchables, often with listener prompts:

a. Anti-Apex Award / “Nadir Mountain”

• [07:52] Listener proposes recognizing a star’s low point.
• They break down low points for iconic actors:
  • Cruise: Couch-jumping on Oprah / War of the Worlds slump
  • De Niro: Rocky and Bullwinkle, early 2000s "paycheck" movies
  • Pacino: Author! Author! (early ‘80s)
  • Denzel: No true nadir; perhaps Virtuosity or Ricochet, but still “no stinkers”
  • Sly Stallone: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot
  • Bill: “We would never do these on the rewatch.”

b. Naming a Category for Bad Athleticism

• [15:11] What should the “terrible sports motion” category be called?
• Nominees: Tim Robbins (Bull Durham), Freddie Prinze Jr. (Summer Catch), Wesley Snipes (White Men Can’t Jump, Major League), Wiley Wiggins (Dazed and Confused), Tom Cruise (War of the Worlds)
  • “Maybe we narrow it down to a final four and put it up [for a vote].” – Bill [22:12]

c. Best Improvised or Transformative At-Home Haircut

• [23:01] Host’s wife (a hairdresser) rages at "miracle” bathroom haircuts in film. Proposed: The Vidal Baboon Award.
• Bourne Identity, Working Girl, Sicario: Day of the Soldado

d. “Secret Handshake” Memorbilia

• [26:21] Items only hardcore fans would recognize.
• Heat: “A copy of Stretch Fractures in Titanium”
• Vision Quest: Red ASICS from the hero
• Sicario: Pink/blue money bands; matches from a cartel bar

e. Narration in Movies—Pet Peeve vs. Asset

• [36:03] Bill reevaluates his anti-narrator stance.
• Listener lists great narrators (Shawshank, Goodfellas, Princess Bride, etc.):
  • Chris: “If the movie’s already good, the narration isn’t a problem.”
  • Bill: “There’s nothing worse than bad narration… Maybe that’s where I need to land.”

f. Other Noteworthy Category Brainstorms:

• [40:35] “I Still Got It Mountain” – for actors’ post-prime victories (The Martian, Taken, John Wick)
• [42:37] “Would You Accept This Character’s Organ Donation?” – gross but hilarious
• [44:28] The “Clint Eastwood Ego Stroke Award” for scenes inserted just to flatter the star
• [45:55] The “Bad First Date Mount Rushmore”—movies to ruin your odds of a second date (Bad Lieutenant, Happiness, Come and See, etc.)

4. Funniest and Most Memorable Listener Questions

a. Side-Tracking and Host Riffing Moments

• [11:45] “My answer for mispronunciations, as always, is: it’s hard to host.” - Bill, responding to a new mispronunciation challenge flag [33:07]
• [54:00] When Bill calls Chris during dinner “just because” – “You called me when I was in Indianapolis… I leave to step outside… you go, ‘you’re going to love CR’s Zane Lowe impression on today’s pod.” – Chris

b. New Flex Categories Discussed

• [77:47] “That’s good, you should be proud of that right there, don’t worry if you don’t make it any further” — The Social Network Award for best line reading
• [76:52] “Christmas Jones Award” (formerly the Elizabeth Shue Award) for most implausible casting of a hot scientist (after Denise Richards in The World is Not Enough)
• [79:07] “Wilson I’m Sorry” Award for a line or moment breaking out into pop culture (Houston, we have a problem, Just when I thought I was out…)

c. Hall of Fame/Pantheon for the Rewatchables

• [62:40] Build a Rewatchables Movie Universe Hall of Fame Pyramid:
  • First Ballot: Cruise, Pacino, De Niro, Denzel, Sly
  • Directors: Spielberg, Tony Scott, Michael Mann, Scorsese
  • That Guy Award: Joey Pants, John Carroll Lynch, Catherine O’Hara, James Remar, Philip Baker Hall
  • Special Achievement: Rene Russo, Steven Seagal, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Robert Loggia, Lorraine Bracco

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Chris, on podcast energy: "I have like an internal game clock... At 51 minutes, I’ve checked out.” [05:29]
• Bill (defending narrators): “There’s nothing worse than bad narration… Maybe that’s where I need to land.” [37:19]
• Craig (on anti-apex): "I dare say that...the gangster movie [De Niro] made for Barry Levinson last year...is my Dirty Grandpa." [10:01]
• Listener email, on on-pod dynamic: “I couldn’t help but imagine CR is Ed Norton’s character in Fight Club, looking at Bill as Brad Pitt’s character is heaping praise... and Chris said himself, ‘I feel like destroying something beautiful.’” [12:15]
• Bill (on Fever Pitch): “Just didn’t like it... She jumps off the center field wall at the end. By the way, you’d break at least one ankle...” [03:47]
• Craig (on haircut scenes): "It really bothers me when you don’t have the tools to do it, and then you come out and you’re like, look, I look great.” [24:29]
• Bill, re: Maddening Athleticism: "Tim Robbins said he threw out his arm like two days [into Bull Durham filming]. He left it all on the field.” [21:46]
• Chris (on SNL hosts): "Gosling...the best right now. He's at the top of the mountain for SNL." [51:13]
• Craig (on the Peter North Award): "It's like Casey Affleck in Manchester by the Sea." [89:13]
• Bill (on animated films): "I've honestly never really fully understood it. I like the one sad Toy Story. I thought was good." [93:34]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:23] Number 16 Limitless Movie Discussion
• [05:11] Listener Email: Why does CR get “wound up” late in the pod?
• [07:52] "Nadir Mountain" (Anti-Apex) Category Brainstorming
• [15:11] "Worst Sports Performance" Category Foundations
• [23:01] Home Haircut Category Introduction
• [26:21] Memorabilia/"Secret Handshake" Category
• [36:03] Movie Narration: Reconsidering the Anti-Narrator Stance
• [40:35] “I Still Got It Mountain” (Local Maximum) Category
• [42:37] Organ Donor Category for Characters
• [44:28] Clint Eastwood Ego Stroke Award Introduction
• [45:55] Mount Rushmore of First-Date-Destroying Movie Recommendations
• [62:40] Rewatchables Hall of Fame "Pyramid" Concept
• [77:47] Best Line Reading Category
• [93:34] Animated Movies, Personal Preferences, and Parenting

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Additional Notes/Recurring Inside Jokes

• Running joke about “load management” on the pod and cameoing co-hosts.
• Ongoing mockery of peculiar athletic scenes and bad movie casting.
• Bill’s frequent mispronunciations flagged for new awards.
• “Ego stroke” scenes in which Hollywood actors boost their own image.
• Hall of Fame debate reveals ongoing obsession with ranking everything movie-related by stats.

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Conclusion and Flow

The episode is a breezy, rapid-fire mailbag that highlights the playful, deeply informed rapport between hosts and their audience. The mailbag format allows for energetic riffing on classic Rewatchables categories, plenty of laughter at the very concept of “rewatchability,” and the ongoing evolution of the “Rewatchables Cinematic Universe” of movies and inside jokes. Whether debating the finer points of movie narration, the authenticity of on-screen athleticism, or the silliest new award ideas, Bill, CR, and Craig keep the tone light, self-aware, and always nerdy-fun—making this episode a perfect snapshot of The Rewatchables at its best.

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For fans seeking a greatest-hits of Rewatchables banter, new category ideas, and the sense of collaborative movie-geek joy, this episode is a must-listen.

Transcript

[Bill Simmons]

This episode is brought to you by TikTok. TikTok actually gives parents the visibility control they need to help shape an environment that makes sense for their teens. For starters, teens under 18 have a 60 minute screen time reminder in place. And with family pairing, parents can set their own limits, see their teens followers who they follow and help restrict content that's not right for them. Because with peace of mind in place, discovery and creativity can follow. Learn more@tik tok.com Guardians Guide. This special episode of the Rewatchable is brought to you by the Ringer Podcast network where you can find the Ringer Fantasy football show with Craig Horbeck.

[Chris Ryan]

Now the Ringer NFL draft show.

[Bill Simmons]

You guys switch. It's like, it's like how Kenny Gainwell used to be. Kenneth Gainwell.

[Chris Ryan]

That's right.

[Bill Simmons]

Switch names every once in a while.

[Chris Ryan]

The only podcast in the world that

[Bill Simmons]

changes its name halfway through the year, Chris Ryan, cr. Yeah, we're in the middle of CR month. What's it been like for you? Just like it's like attending my own funeral.

[Craig Horbeck]

You know what I mean?

[Bill Simmons]

Just people celebrating.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah, it's really cool.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I'm really happy for you guys.

[Craig Horbeck]

Thanks, man.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I mean, you guys like you are in the CR army. I'm happy for all of you. We have a special episode that we're going to do right after Slow opening. This episode of the Rewatchables is presented by TikTok. The online world moves fast. That's why TikTok approaches teen safety with families in mind from the start. On TikTok, teens get over 50 built in protections right when they join. Their accounts are private by default. For those under 16, direct messages are turned off. Only friends can comment on their videos. When safety comes first, discovery can follow. Learn [e-mail] guardiansguide. Mailbag CR Month edition. We have, we, we've only been doing the mailbags once a year and we decided that's it's gotta be quarterly from now on. We get too many emails. Craig, your only note was don't have too many category questions.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, you know, we, we got theme months. There's a lot of other fun stuff to talk about. I want to ask CR questions while it's CR month. I want to know what your number 16 limitless is.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, that was on the list. What's your version of number 16 limitless?

[Craig Horbeck]

Does it have to be from the 21st century?

[Bill Simmons]

Sure.

[Craig Horbeck]

It's a really good. Can I get. Can I think about it for a minute or two?

[Bill Simmons]

You want to Marinate on it.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay.

[Craig Horbeck]

Let me think about it. Okay. Oh, I know what it is. We've already done it. But obscenely high movie that would. That I've actually watched a lot of times this century would be Margin Call, which you guys have done. But Margin Call, I think gets would beat out a couple of movies that you'd be like, damn, you put Margin Call ahead of that.

[Bill Simmons]

You know what? My version of number 16, limitless is limitless.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yours is Nomadland.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

What's yours, Craig? Probably some sort of 80s, some zero zeros comedy.

[Chris Ryan]

Probably accepted with Justin Long.

[Craig Horbeck]

It's a great movie, not a bad movie.

[Chris Ryan]

Interesting. Yeah.

[Craig Horbeck]

Do you prefer that to Waiting with Justin Long?

[Chris Ryan]

I've never seen Waiting.

[Craig Horbeck]

Oh, early Ryan Reynolds, Fever Pitch, A

[Chris Ryan]

movie I loved growing up that you despise.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, that movie's awful. You didn't know any better. You grew up in the West Coast.

[Chris Ryan]

If it were about the Cubs, though, would you like it?

[Bill Simmons]

No, I wouldn't like that movie under any circumstances. Just didn't like it.

[Craig Horbeck]

I mean, but if it was about the Cubs, which why, like, it was Boston that bothered you, wasn't it?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, it was this friend group.

[Chris Ryan]

They chased the 2004 ring, and it felt inauthentic. Fallon's not even a Boston.

[Bill Simmons]

She jumps off the center field wall at the end.

[Chris Ryan]

Great scene.

[Bill Simmons]

Which, by the way, you'd break at least one ankle and then runs across.

[Chris Ryan]

I believe she broke a heel in that scene.

[Bill Simmons]

They have a whole rom com moment. She's just on the field for five minutes. Nobody's like, we gotta get security rushing. Yeah. It's of the dumbest movies ever.

[Craig Horbeck]

Fenway park notoriously buttoned up security, as we saw in the town. That's right.

[Bill Simmons]

Justin Long, by the way, had a moment there for like four years.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Die Hard, whatever sequel that was, that

[Craig Horbeck]

was the hacker one, I think.

[Bill Simmons]

Accepted the movie when him and Drew Barrymore dated but didn't live in the same place. Was like a long distance romance movie. It's not. Not terrible. My wife's definitely gotten in the car.

[Craig Horbeck]

You made a little comeback with Barbarian.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, yeah.

[Craig Horbeck]

Good scene in Weapons. Good Justin Long cameo.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't mind Justin Long. Okay, these are all actual emails from actual listeners. They emailed us@the Rewatchables33mail.com as a longtime Rewatchables listener. This is from Michael D. I have noticed that CR inevitably gets very wound up with about 40 minutes left in the pod. This happens regardless of how long the pod is and always before the last run of categories. Can you shed some insight on what makes Ciara act up? Like a wound up kid or mid-90s corn? Julio, is it low blood sugar, too much sugar, nicotine withdrawal, lack of sleep, or something else? Keep up the great work.

[Chris Ryan]

It probably comes right after you do like a minute long Zane Lowe impression.

[Bill Simmons]

I think it's excitement for the Wayne Jenkins category.

[Craig Horbeck]

I think it's building up to Zane. I actually think that in most of my pods, the inverse is the problem is that I have like an internal game clock. And at 51 minutes, I'm like, you die out. I've checked out.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

So I'm trying to think of what.

[Chris Ryan]

So you're load managing a little bit

[Craig Horbeck]

with the rewatchables because it goes longer. I know it's two hours, so there's usually like. But he's. He's saying that I freak out like 50 minutes in.

[Bill Simmons]

He's saying. He seemed like you're storing energy because you know this big moment's coming.

[Chris Ryan]

You should have a sub. Like van's just sitting off and you call him in for 10 minutes. Let's see our rest.

[Bill Simmons]

Sierra, get some water, take a pee. Yeah. Could we have people come off the bench? Like three categories.

[Craig Horbeck]

What if, like, we just did a run of rewatchables and I was in a shot, like wearing a sweatsuit, like, hanging out, but never was on the pod, and it was like, we're just load managing Chris.

[Bill Simmons]

You know what? It was like that. Ooh wee. What's up with that? The Kenan Thompson sketch where Bill Hader never actually got to talk as Lindsey Buckingham.

[Chris Ryan]

Ah, Sean, I didn't like that take. Mahoney, come on in.

[Craig Horbeck]

Uh, yeah, I think that there's. There's parts of the pod that I know I'm gonna have to dial it up for. And, and, and so I probably get. Get excited for that.

[Bill Simmons]

I find that I'm at my best when we're about 90 minutes in and I'm getting a little groggy and. And the self edit buttons kind of gone away at that.

[Craig Horbeck]

Well, that. And that also coincides with picking knits.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Craig Horbeck]

And that's when you really shine.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

I also think day of day of the week is a huge factor. Friday afternoons is. Is the best rewatch.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Friday Funday.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay. This is from Stephen B. In Perth, Australia. Australians love the rewatches. We love Australia. I always feel like Australia and Boston were watching.

[Craig Horbeck]

We got invited to go to Australia by, like a chamber of commerce down there.

[Bill Simmons]

Fun place. Little bit of an attitude. Little like, fuck you energy. I really respond to.

[Chris Ryan]

I like, did you do live rewatchables in Australia?

[Bill Simmons]

I mean, we'd have to do like two if we're gonna fly all the way down there.

[Chris Ryan]

Rams Niners,

[Bill Simmons]

we have to have a couple events. It'd be funny if we just flew all the way down.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah, we just did one gig.

[Bill Simmons]

We just like did a Denzel movie. All right, guys.

[Craig Horbeck]

See you showed up at a bar, like, was just like, hey, you guys want to hear us talk about E?

[Bill Simmons]

Okay. This is from Stephen. He said for a flex category. This is recently the. When you mentioned the Anti Apex Award.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

And you nominated Tina Turner because of her all time stinker of a theme song for goldeneye.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

So it's like he's a Golden eye.

[Chris Ryan]

So it's the rock bottom award.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. So he said. He said it's rare because the lowest point in someone's career, there's a fair chance the movie is ordinary to bad and not rewatchables worthy. So he had some examples. Travolta and look who's talking. I would say perfect for Travolta. Mike Myers and Love Guru brando for Iona. Dr. Moreau cliffhanger as Anti Apex for a rock climbing date. I thought that was good. Boogie Nights, Anti Apex, New Year's Eve party. He kept going. But it did make me think, like, for the OGs that we have, which are Cruz de Niro, Pacino, Denzel and Sly. I think the five rewatchables. Mount Rushmore, guys, even though it's five, what were the Anti Apexes for them?

[Craig Horbeck]

Do we have to pick movies that we have done rewatchables for?

[Bill Simmons]

No, I would say no rewatchables because we wouldn't do these. Although we did. So Cruise, I think it's Oprah's Sofa and War of the Worlds. Even though I like War of the World.

[Craig Horbeck]

Oh, in their careers.

[Chris Ryan]

They had the least juice in their career.

[Bill Simmons]

Or this is Reverse Apex Mountain. Yeah, Cruising Mountain.

[Craig Horbeck]

It's what Cruise was doing as he was trying to revamp mission impossible with McQuarrie and then still making kind of like oblivion. Edge of Tomorrow is good, but don't

[Bill Simmons]

you feel like Oprah's Sofa has to be involved in this?

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah, I guess that was when people

[Bill Simmons]

were kind of like, wait, is. Is Cruz nuts?

[Craig Horbeck]

And then Spielberg stops working with him then.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I think it's right around there for him. For De Niro, it's a little tougher to find. Figure out De Niro. I went through his IMDb in 2000. He had this great 70s run, 80s up and down and then rallies back. Midnight run, then 90s, he's killing it. He's making a million movies. But then in 2000 he just making paychecks and he did Rocky and Bullwinkle, and I think that's nadir Mountain for him.

[Chris Ryan]

There's. I feel like. And then in the 2010s, he kind of starts flirting with like the Dirty Grandpa era, where he's just doing really cheesy comedies.

[Bill Simmons]

He's just available. It. It, it right around 99, 2000. Him and Pacino, I think, were available.

[Craig Horbeck]

I would. I. I dare say that I. For some reason the name is escaping me. But the gangster movie he made for Barry Levinson last year, that was apparently

[Chris Ryan]

Alto Knights, that was. That's My Dirty Grandpa is a movie with Robert Dairo and Zac efron as the two leads. I mean, come on.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, 2016, Pacino. It's definitely author. Author. That was in the early 80s. It bombed and it got people going. Wait, I thought Pacino was the best actor we had.

[Craig Horbeck]

And he takes like five years off.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. And it starts going sideways. Denzel was the toughest one. Because even if you look at the IMDb stuff for Denzel, he doesn't really have a stinker. So I'd have to go with Virtuosity, a movie that I love that we probably will do on rewatchables, but he is given VD by John Lithgow, and people didn't really like that movie. And they're like, denzel, what are you doing?

[Craig Horbeck]

Is that Ricochet or Virtuosity Virtual.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, maybe that's Ricochet.

[Craig Horbeck]

Ricochet is like an absolute oozing sore

[Bill Simmons]

getting my one word that Denzel movies

[Craig Horbeck]

like Ricochet is insane.

[Bill Simmons]

Ricochet is the one with Lithgow. So Virtuosity is the one with Russell Crowe. Yes, that's the one. Yeah, I got my Denzel's mixed up, but I personally don't think Denzel has an aideir.

[Craig Horbeck]

What about out of Time? Deja Vu?

[Bill Simmons]

I mean, I revere out of Time. There you go. Can't do it. So I don't know, maybe he just never had a nadir.

[Chris Ryan]

Well. Cause didn't you say he's one of the only guys who has a hit in every decade for four decades?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, and he really doesn't have stinkers. It's not like. Like Sly Stallone is the other one. Sly. You could pick multiple nadirs, but it's probably Stop where my mom will shoot. It's like early 90s. He'd have stopped my mama. Shoot an Oscar back to back. The point is, we would never do these on the rewatch.

[Craig Horbeck]

I think you would get to the end of a five year run with Denzel Washington and be like, this has been a quiet run for him. And then you look back and you're like, actually, there are three really good movies here.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, there's all hits. Jesse Palmer, parentheses. Not that Jesse Palmer.

[Craig Horbeck]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

Says on the GoldenEye episode during casting what ifs for Joe, Don Baker's character, Chris throws out Dennis Quaid's name. Bill immediately shoots it down and says he's not old enough. And there's a bit of smoldering tit for tat between Bill and CR CR Says, I think Dennis Quaid is just as good a suggestion as Nick Nolte. And it gets a little testy.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

The following segment, Craig's his flex category of the female sex killer Mount Rushmore. Admittedly, a great poll by Craig. And you can hear Bill kind of off mic telling Craig, good one, Craig.

[Chris Ryan]

We're gonna move CR to the bench soon.

[Bill Simmons]

Craig, he says, I couldn't help but imagine CR Is Ed Norton's character in Fight Club. Looking at Bill as Brad Pitt's character is heaping praise. A new potential top boy. Craig as Jared Leto's angel face. And Chris said himself, I feel like destroying something beautiful. You didn't have a question?

[Craig Horbeck]

I don't have an answer. That's perfect.

[Bill Simmons]

That. That was really good.

[Craig Horbeck]

That would be amazing if you walked out of your house one day and Craig's just lying there in a heap like, that's what you get for showing me up.

[Bill Simmons]

Jesus.

[Chris Ryan]

Dennis Quaid is the right age.

[Bill Simmons]

Pat H. From New York City. He says the only runner to reach base in the Fargo rewatchables. No hitter. I guess you like the pod.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Is that the hot buffet chicken fricassees scene? Dissection doesn't mention the restaurant as carpeted. Carpeted restaurants seem like a what's age the best? What's age the worst Split decision. To sort this out, I'd like to propose some variation of a Chris Ryan Godfather 3. Donald Donnelly Acting from the Tonsils International mobile mobility flex category for what's age the most? Yeah, what's age the most? So we would have what's age the best? What's age the worst? What's age the most?

[Chris Ryan]

The most foreign to right now.

[Craig Horbeck]

And sometimes we do have ones that are. It's really a Coin toss. If you would want to call this best or worse, it really depends on your. Your affinity for indoor smoking or whatever, you know?

[Bill Simmons]

And, yeah, I would argue what stage the most is probably just what stage your worst.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, it's.

[Bill Simmons]

You could probably just shoehorn that in there.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. But I really do like the subject. I mean, have you been in a restaurant that had carpeting in your lifetime?

[Chris Ryan]

I mean, I. I haven't been in a house that has carpeting in a long time.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, carpeting. I don't know what happened with carpeting. I think they realized. I think once we had more and more dogs, I think that ruined, like, the. The actual installed carpeting. I can see you just have no recourse.

[Craig Horbeck]

Every once in a while, I'll go into a hotel and you'll be like, someone smoked in here once. Like, yeah, if it's got the carpeting, you're like, they can do a lot to it. But you're like, Maybe in, like, 89, a guy had a cool in here, and I can still smell it 20 years later.

[Bill Simmons]

That was one of the things in the Room 237 documentary where they get into how there are no accidents with Kubrick. And they talk about the carpet. And it's like, in one scene, Danny, the carpet's one way, and then in the same area, he changed the carpet to symbolize something else. And it's like, there were no accidents with Kubrick.

[Chris Ryan]

I was at a hotel in Palm Springs a few months ago, and it has the exact same carpet as the Shining Hotel.

[Craig Horbeck]

Did twins come out and say, craig, we'd like to play with you?

[Bill Simmons]

Hey, Craig. This is from Dano Foreign. It's Dan. Oh, not Dan.

[Craig Horbeck]

Oh, okay.

[Bill Simmons]

Like Jack O. I know you talk a lot about actors who have no experience playing the sport they're playing in a movie. There should be a rewatchable category for horrible on screen athleticism. I don't know why we don't have this, to be honest. I nominate Tim Robbins as the namesake for Bull Durham, but would happily accept Freddie Prinze Jr. Or Wesley Snipes. Then he says, Love story, JFK Jr. Show. You guys watching this?

[Craig Horbeck]

I'm not.

[Bill Simmons]

You're not watching this?

[Craig Horbeck]

I'm not watching it.

[Bill Simmons]

It's 90s New York. What are you doing?

[Craig Horbeck]

I don't really watch Ryan Murphy shows.

[Bill Simmons]

It's 90s New York and the Music and I know Phoebe wouldn't watch that.

[Craig Horbeck]

I. I mean, like, we just haven't checked it out. I think she watched a couple episodes. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Phoebe not liking that show.

[Craig Horbeck]

I didn't say she didn't like it. I just don't think she's. I think she's only watched a couple episodes.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, he mentions Love Story. They have pickup football games played in Central park in episodes one and four. That displays some of the worst football throwing motions by a QB ever caught on film. I've actually mentioned this with my wife. How bad it was the only explanation. The actors never fell to football. Whatever. So nominees for this award and who it should be named after. He mentioned three good ones. A couple others that I put some time into this. And I think I did a mailbag once about this. Mitch Kramer and Dazed and Confused.

[Chris Ryan]

The pitching, they do their best to cut around him.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

So that was the Freddie Prin summer catch thing. The windup. And then cutting to the guy behind him where it's clearly the stunt double pitcher because, you know, the guy couldn't stop.

[Craig Horbeck]

And isn't Wiley Wiggins kind of haunted by, like, the amount of criticism his pitching got?

[Bill Simmons]

He should be. I think it's all justified. Roy Hobbs son at the end of the Natural. Roy Hobbs is in the cornfield. He had just hit the home run that set all the fireworks. And then it cuts to him with his bastard son. His Jon Snow. Jon Snow.

[Chris Ryan]

Hobbs.

[Bill Simmons]

And he's having a catch in the. And the kid's kind of doing one of those. Yeah, underrated one. D' Annunzio and Caddyshack. The other Caddy. And Caddyshack has one of the worst swings of all time trying to win the Caddyshack open. Snipes and white men can jump. This is one we've gotten emails about before.

[Craig Horbeck]

Can I just hit?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Craig Horbeck]

Pause. This is just accepted that you guys think Wesley Snipes can't play ball and white man can't jump.

[Bill Simmons]

I think they taught him how to play. I think he was a athletic guy. We argued about this when we did this.

[Craig Horbeck]

I think we did.

[Bill Simmons]

He was an athletic guy. That they basically had no basketball background. And you could tell by the way he dribbles and some of the stuff.

[Craig Horbeck]

But I always felt like Woody and Wesley were like actual ball players who, like, they picked because they wouldn't have to do that.

[Bill Simmons]

And then we did in the research he'd never played basketball.

[Chris Ryan]

Didn't he not know how to play baseball either? Didn't they cut around him in major league?

[Bill Simmons]

I think he was athletic, but not athletic.

[Chris Ryan]

There's, like, no shots of him throwing a ball in Major League because it was so Bad. They couldn't use it.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah, but he's also like. His character's whole thing is like. He's like kind of a showboat in center field, so I don't think he ever has to, like, gun somebody down at second base.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. One of the best ones for this was they taught Rob Lowe to skate for Youngbud. He'd never skated, and he's actually pretty good.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, it gave me hope I could learn how to skate in six weeks.

[Chris Ryan]

There's a really famous one online. There was a movie that came out in 2015, a comedy called the Duff.

[Bill Simmons]

So that was my next one I had. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

That one's really bad. It's with May Whitman, the girl who plays.

[Bill Simmons]

I like May Whitman.

[Chris Ryan]

Anvil in Arrested Development. Yeah. The Duff is an insane concept for a movie, but there is a scene where a quarterback is. Is playing catch on the field with somebody, and it looks like he's throwing with the opposite hand.

[Bill Simmons]

She's standing next to him and he's getting the ball. Like when, like, Drake. May is warming up to go in, and he's just, like, doing this back and he's.

[Chris Ryan]

He's having, like, mini seizures every time

[Bill Simmons]

he throws it off.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like he had. He has, like, a completely torn rotator cuff, and they made him film it.

[Craig Horbeck]

Anyway, my favorite moment recently with this was watching paradise, the second season of Paradise. Did you watch that?

[Bill Simmons]

And I got off the train.

[Craig Horbeck]

Okay. So in the second season, they. There's a whole thing that's at Graceland, and five guys who were, like, going across the country show up there, and they are playing football. But, like, it's. It is literally like, are you guys playing, like, Australian Rules Football or rugby or something? Because they're, like, tossing it underhanded to each other and just giggling a lot. And I'm like, I don't think this would ever happen.

[Bill Simmons]

I very carefully watched Top Gun Maverick recently, and I watched the football scene when they're playing football in opposite ways.

[Craig Horbeck]

You were literally watching Top Gun Maverick when we walked.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, I was. It was on.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah. Top Gun Maverick and Florida Kentucky on. At the same time. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

The athletes in. In the. In the. What do they call it? It's shotgun football or something. Or is it dog fight football?

[Craig Horbeck]

Dog fight football, yeah, because it's two. It's two balls.

[Bill Simmons]

I really wanted one of the athletes to be bad, but it was actually, like, pretty. Pretty compelling and athletic.

[Chris Ryan]

I mean, I went back and watched the. The volleyball scene from the original Top Gun. It's not that bad because there's a lot of doubles when they cut away from kind of wide shots. It's doubles who looked really good there.

[Craig Horbeck]

Just also a lot of guys wearing jeans, which is just so insane.

[Bill Simmons]

Five' eight Cruz in jeans, lofting way up over the net to like block people. It's pretty good. A couple more Leo and Basketball Diaries. Where do you stand on that?

[Craig Horbeck]

It's been a while since I've seen it, but I remember not loving the game. It drove Wahlberg crazy.

[Bill Simmons]

It was a lot of like, like dribbling like this. Like the Michael. Michael J. Fox who we gotta mention too in Teen Wolf. Field of Dreams.

[Chris Ryan]

Dad.

[Bill Simmons]

We've talked about him before. Just came up recently in a movie. We've talked about Tom Cruise, War of the Worlds.

[Chris Ryan]

That's a tough one.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

Famous one. I actually went because I googled to make sure I didn't miss anything and there was a Reddit thread defending Tom Cruise in War of the Worlds that saying that that's what the character. That's how the character would have thrown the ball. Tom Cruise is actually too hard or.

[Craig Horbeck]

Cause he just doesn't have good feelings.

[Bill Simmons]

Basically. Like Tom Cruise made a choice for this scene.

[Chris Ryan]

He's playing cast with his son. Right. Ye.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh.

[Chris Ryan]

So okay. He took it easy on his side.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. He made a choice the bend it like Beckham Girl. This movie called Slugger's Wife with Michael o' Keefe and Rebecca Du Mornay. He's a home run hitter, really bad swing. It's really. It like kind of single handedly ruined the movie. And then one of my favorites, John C. Reilly and for Love of the Game, which I asked Costner about once and he is basically like he was the catcher and they very carefully cut around him. You never actually see him catching and there's obvious stunt doubles and he's not

[Craig Horbeck]

throwing back to Costner.

[Bill Simmons]

He never played sports. But the. The I mentioned Ben Leg Beckham Seagal running is the other one where. I don't know if that could be. We have two named after Seagal already. But that Seagal when he runs with his hands up and does whatever. So who should this category be named after? I gave you 20 nominees. Tim Robbins. I feel bad for. Cause he. He said he threw out his arm like two days.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah. He also like I think does a good job doing Ebby's pronounced motion. Like his wind up is like idiosyncratic and he does a good job with that.

[Bill Simmons]

He just, he just. He left it all on the field and. And left his rotating.

[Chris Ryan]

I agree. I don't think it's that bad. Tim.

[Craig Horbeck]

Should we do John C. Reilly? I have a hard time saying Wesley Snipes for some reason.

[Bill Simmons]

It's not Mitch Kramer.

[Chris Ryan]

I can't. They cut around him. But you could.

[Bill Simmons]

You worried about Mitch Kramer?

[Craig Horbeck]

Well, if I was like 15 and I was in one of the best movies ever made and everybody just remembered me for having a shitty like pitching motion.

[Chris Ryan]

I think the Duff is not famous enough for it to have the title.

[Bill Simmons]

Maybe we Tom Cruise. Maybe we narrow it down to a final four and put it up.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, yeah. And we can actually show.

[Bill Simmons]

Hey, they voted for this. Yeah.

[Craig Horbeck]

So Wiley Wiggins, Tom Cruise, John C. Reilly and who's the other fourth? Who's the fourth?

[Chris Ryan]

Do we want the DUFF?

[Bill Simmons]

No. Freddie Prince Jr. Has to be one of the four. Okay.

[Chris Ryan]

What movie is that from?

[Bill Simmons]

It's from Summer Catch with Jessica Biel.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, I haven't seen that.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, yeah. Probably like it sitting in the cape. Jessica Bale looks great. I think it's Jessica. Is it Jessica Bale or Jessica Alba? I think it's Jessica.

[Craig Horbeck]

I can't remember.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, well, so we'll figure out four. We'll do a vote. Okay. This is from Russ. Another. These questions were really good. My wife is a hairdresser and flies into a blind rage anytime in a movie where there's an emergency haircut in the bathroom with kitchen scissors and the outcome is a stunning haircut.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Examples. Born identity Matt Damon gives Franca Potente. What was her name?

[Craig Horbeck]

Franca Potente. Yeah, it's one of them.

[Bill Simmons]

Cute shorty. When they're on the run, it's one

[Craig Horbeck]

of the hottest things ever. He dyes her hair.

[Bill Simmons]

Working girl Melanie Griffith getting the pre Harrison Ford meetup hairdo from Joan Cusack. Sicari. Ode of the Soldado. You ever seen that one?

[Craig Horbeck]

I've seen that a couple of times.

[Bill Simmons]

Benicio Del Toro giving the cartel daughter the short hairdo before attempting to cross the border. And there's a couple other good examples we did in Legend of Billie Jean. She goes in with the kitchen scissors and comes out and looks amazing.

[Craig Horbeck]

I throw in Richard Kimball in the hospital room with a pair of like cuticle scissors and a disposable razor coming out looking like fucking Harrison Freud with

[Bill Simmons]

like and like a three dollar hair.

[Craig Horbeck]

Darker. Yeah, I have like a nick on my, my upper lip right now. That was just from like shaving the other day with like a nice shaving accent.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, thank God. I was worried it was a hooker. Oh, God. I should have more faith than you.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah. Thanks, bud.

[Bill Simmons]

He suggests the Vidal Baboon award for best homemade haircut. I don't know if this would happen enough times, but I do think we should monitor this going forward.

[Chris Ryan]

Does she cut her hair in Gone Girl?

[Craig Horbeck]

But she breaks her own teeth, so I feel like whatever she wants to

[Bill Simmons]

do to her, maybe. Maybe there's some sort of, like, best bastardation of home beauty care or something. I don't know. There's some sort of idea.

[Craig Horbeck]

I think that one of the things that really bothers me is when you don't have the tools to do it, and then you come out and you're like, look, I look great.

[Bill Simmons]

Andy says, best podcast in the history of the medium. You guys are the greatest. Thanks, Andy.

[Chris Ryan]

That's really nice.

[Bill Simmons]

I did have a nitpick.

[Chris Ryan]

He's like, that's it.

[Bill Simmons]

Of course he had a nitpick with Apex. Mountain of dinner scene assassinations, which we talked about on Sicario. We said, Alejandro going in and murdering the guy. We said that was the best. And he was like, what about Michael killing Sollozzo and McCluskey? Give the lead up. I don't want him coming out of the bathroom with just his cock in his hands. Clemenza showing him the gun. That has to be Apex Mountain. Louis restaurant. I agree. Sakara's up there, but how can it not be the Godfather? He's right.

[Craig Horbeck]

Both acts of vengeance.

[Bill Simmons]

Godfather is just a bigger, more important movie. Godfather wins.

[Chris Ryan]

Okay, I think there's also just more. There's actually more drama in that Godfather scene. There's more buildup and susp.

[Craig Horbeck]

I'm going to go. I'm going to zag. I didn't see Michael Corleone killing anyone's kids, you know, like, so until he gets there, until he has, like, Sollo, his kids in front of him, you're not seeing Alejandro.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, there's some backstory with Godfather where they were going to, like, they wanted to replace Pacino, and they shot that scene, and that was the scene that saved him from getting fired from.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, really?

[Bill Simmons]

Big shot Rob Evans and the Godfather. So, I don't know. Fair points. Oh, this is a nice email from Keith W. In Portland, Oregon. One of your favorite places, home of Chuck Klosterman. The beauty of being an active member of this rewatchables club is the shared shorthand. We should stop asking what item we want to have and start asking what item would identify as a fellow fanatic of our favorite movie Update. A category. The Secret Handshake. What piece of memorability would only a rewatchables OG recognize?

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, yeah, that's good.

[Bill Simmons]

The goal is to identify a prop meaningless to the masses, but a tell for somebody who's rewatched a movie too much. A few Secret handshake examples. Heat. A copy of Stretch Fractures in Titanium.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, that's good.

[Bill Simmons]

Vision Quest, Loud and Swain's Red ASEX Wrestling high tops, which we talked about it that for five solid minutes. Sicario, the Blue and Pink Cartel Money Bands, or the Indian Creek Cigs. Talk amongst yourselves. It's less about the resale value of the object, more about the if you know, you know, Badge of.

[Chris Ryan]

That's a really good one.

[Bill Simmons]

It's a really good one. I almost feel like we. We changed the memorabilia category and if the movie doesn't have it, we just don't even do it.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Craig Horbeck]

Just recently. I would love Jerry's like Salesman of the month picture. That's behind Jerry in Fargo. I should do that where I'm CR Month picture of myself above my head.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, first the car. What was the bar when Emily Blunt meets Burnth.

[Craig Horbeck]

Oh, it's like. It's not Wild Bills, it's something Wild, Something Something Pony or something.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, you get like, the matches from that?

[Craig Horbeck]

Sure.

[Bill Simmons]

I like the deep cut. Memorability, I think, is a good idea.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah. The Secret handshake's good.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, that's good. Good, good. Email. Tyler Davis watched To Live and Die in LA last night and it's a CR special if I've ever seen one. Prince is complimentary. I feel like the movie presents the pod with a perfect new category idea. Character Most likely to want Quentin Daly to start over. Michael Jordan. Most likely candidates. Big Nick from Dead of Thieves and Jim from the Town.

[Craig Horbeck]

Big Nick would be like.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, you think? You think Sizemore and Heat, probably.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Craig Horbeck]

Big Nick was probably like a big Tim Thomas guy for the Clippers. It was just like, they just gotta

[Bill Simmons]

play it more double every night. I don't know if this works as a category, but I like it as keep it in our back pocket.

[Craig Horbeck]

I really like that.

[Bill Simmons]

Mike D says, in honor of CR Month, I have a suggestion for a new category. What item from Midnight Run would help the protagonist the most? So we would just be doing the movie and would be like, what Midnight Run accessory would help him? He said a money belt containing 300,000. You can't use it till the start, the very end of the movie to start new life. A plate of tree stone Eggs, Alonzo Mosley, stolen batch. Whatever. Did you have any others for this?

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I only sent you three questions. This is one of them.

[Craig Horbeck]

So I would. I would definitely say that any movie where somebody is sacrificed for a principal would be great to have the money belt, because that's the entire point of Midnight Run. But it is also just funny to imagine Agnes getting it at the end of Hamnet. He's just like, hey, I wrote fucking Hamlet.

[Bill Simmons]

We got paid off. She's not crying anymore. Now she's crying to her.

[Chris Ryan]

She doesn't play to chorizo.

[Craig Horbeck]

She's.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Castaway would be the tree. Zone X. Yeah. Like, oh, my God, this is amazing.

[Craig Horbeck]

The best. Yeah. And then anything. I mean, the Alonzo Mosley FBI thing is just trying to think of, like, where that would work. The best is.

[Chris Ryan]

It's tough.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like this question made me want to do Midnight Run again because we

[Craig Horbeck]

did it, I think, first year.

[Bill Simmons]

You've seen it, right?

[Chris Ryan]

I love that movie.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

One of my favorites.

[Bill Simmons]

It's just completely ageless, of course.

[Chris Ryan]

It's so good.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. It's one of the few. The movie came out in 1989, so it's 37 years old, and I just feel like it. It just doesn't. It's not like, oh, they would like, you don't think about, oh, they'd have cell phones now. That stupid. It just works perfectly.

[Craig Horbeck]

It's just. It's. It's just basically the best casting of a buddy action movie ever.

[Chris Ryan]

The chemistry between them. It'll last forever.

[Craig Horbeck]

I'm gonna shoot you through the glass.

[Bill Simmons]

Let's take a break, and then we'll keep going. This episode is brought to you by Fire tv. You've been there. Settling in for a relaxing evening of tv. You waste half the night scrolling through options. Can't really find anything to watch. Well, enter Fire tv. It's entertainment with zero effort required. Fire TV serves up personalized recommendations from across all your apps, all in one place. It's your helper. Not sure what to watch next. Just tell Alexa what you're in the mood for. She'll pull up the perfect recommendation. Problem solved. Stop the scroll. Start the show. Find what you're looking for with Fire tv. Subscription may be required. This episode is brought to you by Hotels.com Save youe Way is a new feature on Hotels.com and it's as simple as it sounds. When you book a trip as a Hotels.com member, you decide how to use your savings. Take the Instant Savings now or bank the savings as rewards for later. It's your call [e-mail] Save your way is available to loyalty members in the US and UK and hotels with member prices. Other terms apply. See site for details. All right, this is from Nick in Columbus on the Sicario pod. You guys were struggling with finding a role for Cruiser Hanks. Where did we land on that? I don't remember.

[Craig Horbeck]

I think we were. I think it was Hanks.

[Chris Ryan]

For who?

[Craig Horbeck]

Actually, I don't even know if we came to a conclusion on that. We kind of.

[Chris Ryan]

Cruz was Brolin.

[Bill Simmons]

No. Didn't we say Cruz as Bernthal?

[Chris Ryan]

But it's got to be the lead, right? Or a lead.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, is that what we said?

[Chris Ryan]

It's got to be a lead character.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, CR mentioned earlier in the pod, this is Nick, that many studios wanted the K character to be a guy that makes 90s cruise perfect for this.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah. The firm Few Good Men.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, a Few Good Men. The guy learning the world. It's not quite what it appears to be.

[Craig Horbeck]

You can even go earlier to like Rain Man. Born on the fourth of July air cruise.

[Chris Ryan]

Cruise is good at playing innocent.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, but then the only question is then when you get the bar. The hookup scene gone wrong would lead to some of the best moments of Cruz's career. A love scene where you have to be too into it. And then he realizes something wrong and he tells them they have to stop.

[Chris Ryan]

And then Emily Blunt could have played the Bernthal character.

[Craig Horbeck]

That's right. She's the one who picks him up doing some line dancing.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, but instead of a heated hookup, they're just lying in bed laughing. And then he's like, no, no, no. Stop, stop, stop, stop. Another question. Oh, this is a great one from Pete in Massachusetts. This is a. This is a two part question. He's listening to secure Sakarpod hearing Bill mispronounce Floyd Gandali's name. A character from his supposed favorite movie the past 30 years.

[Craig Horbeck]

Gondoli. Right.

[Bill Simmons]

Gondoli. For some reason I was just reading and I said I just fucked up. I think we're finally at the point to initiate a new rewatchables category for excellence in the field of mispronunciation. Granted, it will be awarded a bill 10 out of 10 times, but it needs to be established. Yeah, I'd suggest that Van Damme. Van Damme. Did Bill just have an under seizure award for most inexcusable massacring of a name and he wanted like Craig to just throw out a challenge flag when I throw it like a. Like a.

[Chris Ryan]

When you say Theon Lovejoy.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, yeah. You just have a flag. Like you're like. You're like Mike McDaniel just throwing it out to stop the pod. And then he said it would be

[Craig Horbeck]

great if we could get like the. Remember that Nickelodeon show where people would get slimed, get shot with a water.

[Chris Ryan]

Every time you do gondoli, there's a dunk tank.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. My. My answer for mispronunciations, as always, is it's hard to host. There you go. I just fall back on that all the time. He keeps going though. He said if you want another challenge flag category, I'd like to suggest the Bangkok Horlbeck tip off award for Is Craig actually a serial killer who will one day have his own Netflix true crime documentary? He said in the Scarabod this would be when Craig casually suggested that Alejandro murdered the cartel's leader wife and children in front of him. Was that sadistic that after executing his family he killed the kickpin too quickly and should have let it, quote, sit for a minute.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah, let him marinate on it.

[Chris Ryan]

This guy dropped his daughter in a vat of acid. He's just going to shoot him in the head. Not enough.

[Bill Simmons]

So he said once the ringer bodies start showing up behind drywall in an Arizona spec house, there will be a lot of we should have seen this coming in memoriam pieces about Craig's victims.

[Craig Horbeck]

I don't know.

[Chris Ryan]

I'm not against it because this came from Denzel, right. In American Gangster where he shoots that guy in the head.

[Craig Horbeck]

He shoots Idris?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

He should have shot him in the chest.

[Craig Horbeck]

Why?

[Chris Ryan]

So he could see him. See him die.

[Craig Horbeck]

Oh, you do the De Niro.

[Chris Ryan]

Yes.

[Craig Horbeck]

He taps and then one.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah. You want the person to know that you killed them. If you get shot in the head, they don't know.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. What else? What else? That's the whole point.

[Craig Horbeck]

It's letting him off like 5 seconds to think about like, wow, my family went before me. This is crazy.

[Chris Ryan]

Not enough.

[Bill Simmons]

I didn't quite know to do this one, but I'm going to read it anyway. For Marin and Edmonton. Thanks for a great pot had the idea for a category. What change would make this movie 10% better? Sort of a take on recasting actor, city or director. Like how heat would be 10% better if they either dropped the Portman storyline or had Vincent doing coke or Gangs of New York if Cameron Diaz was recast. I mean that that would be a 30% better. Or any number of movies that should have ended differently. 10%'s tough. I almost think it would have to be, like, 4%.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah. But it's good because it's not something as big as recasting, because the recasting would, like you said, really significantly change the texture of the movie. It's like a tweak. Yeah. Or like, the music in this chase scene was bad. You know what I mean? Like, goldeneye is a really good example. That first, like, driving through the Alps moment that they have, and I was

[Bill Simmons]

like, that music stinks.

[Chris Ryan]

Or the song, the goldeneye song itself. You're like, oh, that could have been better.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

But then we're basically just in what stage is the worst.

[Chris Ryan]

It's kind of a nitpick, I guess.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah, it's a nitpick. But it would be like, you made this change. You get, like, this much better.

[Bill Simmons]

So maybe in recasting, couch that category, you have the option to just do the 10% better.

[Craig Horbeck]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

All right. Brian and Bethesda. I'm glad he brought this up, because I've been thinking about it a lot. He said, on more than one occasion, you've been discussing a movie with the narrator and have said something along the lines of, I normally hate narrators of movies, but this is a rare exception where it works well. I have said this many times. Yes. He points out that there's been a lot of movies that have narration that we've loved on the rewatchables. Fair point. Best movie of all time. Shawshank. These are his words. Best mob movie. Goodfellas, Vegas casino, Vietnam, Apocalypse Now. 80s. Ferris, Bueller's Day Off. Dude movie. Fight Club, Coming of Age, Stand By Me, Cult, Big Lebowski, Christmas Christmas Story. Fairy tale movie. Princess Bride. Rise and Fall. Wolf of Wall Street. Best premature ejaculation movie. Forrest Gump. This is his list. He says, yeah, it's cringeworthy. When a movie is a bad narrator. Uses one as a crutch. It was so bad in the original Blade Runner, Ridley Scott later removed Harrison Ford's narration. But it also can be valuable Henry Hill read hoping the Pacific would be as blue as his dream. So on and so on.

[Craig Horbeck]

What's an example of narration that you hate?

[Bill Simmons]

So here's the thing. I think I have to tweak my opinion on this because there's too many examples of narration being good. I think my stance needs to be. There's nothing worse than bad narration.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Maybe that's where I need to land.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I think I'm just wrong. I'm Gonna admit defeat.

[Craig Horbeck]

I mean, it's a sign of.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm anti narrator, but most. He just listed 12 movies that I really like that have narration.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, it feels like a crutch. If the movie's bad, it's a crutch to try to make the movie better. But if the movie's already good, the narration isn't a problem.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah, it's just a quality.

[Bill Simmons]

And he didn't even mention, like outside Providence as narration. Like, there's a bunch of like, lower level movies that I love that have this year.

[Chris Ryan]

Train Dreams.

[Craig Horbeck]

There's another one where it's like, there will be the introductory and concluding narration, but not. It doesn't like you don't have it throughout the film. And I think that that has like a special category. But yeah, I was just wondering, like, what's a movie that you've seen that has narration that you're like, this sucks.

[Bill Simmons]

I really hate it even more for documentaries. And I feel like when you're doing a documentary, the goal should always be not to have narration. And if you have narration, you're probably doing it wrong.

[Craig Horbeck]

Can I ask you a follow up question?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Craig Horbeck]

Would you like to see narration come back for movie trailers and go back to like, in a world?

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, yeah. First of all, I would redo movie trailers completely from how we're doing them. We did 45 years of us showing too much of the movie in the trailer. I like, though, when we don't, it's like, oh, this is coming. But I don't really know what it is. I actually was one of the few people that liked the devil wears Prada 2 trailer because I don't really know what it's about, but they showed us everyone that's in it. And I'm like, okay, I'm in. That's all I needed.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, you don't want to tease any of the plot. You just want to get people excited by showing the vibe of the movie.

[Bill Simmons]

There's been a couple movies where I've seen the trailer and I'm like, okay, guess I don't need to go for sure.

[Craig Horbeck]

But if you had like a. I don't know if you had something like they were two outcasts.

[Bill Simmons]

She was a writer, she was just

[Craig Horbeck]

a little farm girl. And he wound up right in Hamlet. This is their story. I mean, I don't think that would work, but I think it could be useful. In other.

[Chris Ryan]

He was a Colombian lawyer assassin. His daughter was dropped in acid.

[Craig Horbeck]

Well, actually Craig, I believe he is from Mexico.

[Bill Simmons]

One of my Instagram. Things that always get suggested to me is like late 70s, early 80s ABC commercials.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Where they're like in Vegas, Dan Tann is busting two call girls. But it's that Paul Thomas Anderson's dad.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Ernie Anderson is doing it. I just want to go back in general to the cigarette narration.

[Craig Horbeck]

Boys, can we have a flex category? That's the Ernie Anderson. What would you do to narrate the trailer for this movie? Because there would be some. That would be really funny.

[Bill Simmons]

Maybe that should. We should include that in the Zane Low. Wayne Jenkins.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Or Ernie Anderson. Yeah. Or Ernie Anderson's trailer.

[Craig Horbeck]

He was from the wrong side of the tracks in Boston. She was working at a bank.

[Chris Ryan]

They met at a robbery.

[Craig Horbeck]

The town coming soon.

[Bill Simmons]

And now his friends want to kill her. Literally. Isabel Lopez. It's probably the smartest email we've gotten.

[Chris Ryan]

I like that you do first and last names. Not holding back on these emails.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, you put your name in. I'm gonna read it. Yeah, she loves the show. She was listening to the Martian episode, which we did, I think six years ago. J.C. bill says you need a special category for the post Apex. Mountain Apex. He called it the. I still got it Mountain.

[Craig Horbeck]

Oh, yeah, sure.

[Bill Simmons]

She said there's a term for that in math. It's called the local maximum. It's the relative high point on a graph. That's not the highest peak. I love the idea and think it actually applies to a lot of actor films you guys cover on the show. And she included a graph that for some reason didn't get dropped into my document.

[Craig Horbeck]

Clean up the category name a little bit here. The Kawhi Leonard pre suspension. Push

[Bill Simmons]

the Kawhi Leonard last gas apex

[Craig Horbeck]

right before your contract gets voided. You just fucking let everybody know you're still the best player in the world.

[Bill Simmons]

So Matt Damon. The Martian's a great one. What are some other ones, though?

[Craig Horbeck]

Well, let me think about. Got it.

[Chris Ryan]

So this is kind of like a post prime. You get your ring in your mid-30s, like LeBron 2016. Steph 2022 kind of vibe.

[Bill Simmons]

Steph 2022, that's a great one.

[Craig Horbeck]

Steph. Steph. That's really good.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. That's even better than Kawhi.

[Craig Horbeck]

Well, the thing is, Steph never really fell off. Kawhi was like kind of gone for four years there and now is just like, I'm a. I'm the best two way player.

[Bill Simmons]

You getting paid by Bomber right now?

[Craig Horbeck]

Me?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. A little aspiration Money. Go to CR's account.

[Craig Horbeck]

I'm sorry if I just want to fix carbon emissions.

[Bill Simmons]

Dude. Liam Neeson and Taken would be a

[Chris Ryan]

good one for us.

[Craig Horbeck]

That's a good one.

[Chris Ryan]

Is it like Keanu Reeves, John Wick.

[Bill Simmons]

Yes, perfect.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

It's another good one. We'll keep an eye on this next time it comes up. Thanks, Isabel. This is from Jim. This is a really good one. I didn't send you guys any of these because it's funnier to hear the natural reactions. The first time we did this, I accidentally sent the document and Sierra knew everything that was coming and I was bothered about it for like six months.

[Craig Horbeck]

The downside is that you hear a lot of like. Let me give that some thought.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, yeah. I think I'm pro reactions. He says thanks for the rewatchables. It's been my go to since the first heat dropped. I want to propose a new category. The Would you accept this character's organ donation award for any character who dies in the movie.

[Craig Horbeck]

So like Richard Chance to live and die, right?

[Bill Simmons]

He said he has. Yes, I would. Goose. Rachel Banks, Ray Merriman, Dickie Greenleaf Neil from dead poets. Dr. Beth Garner, French guy from Unfaithful and Carl from Die Hard.

[Craig Horbeck]

French Neil from Dead Poets. It's a weird one.

[Bill Simmons]

He shot himself in the head. All the organs were fine.

[Chris Ryan]

So it's just. Who's not an alcoholic?

[Bill Simmons]

Here's his no, I would not group. Waingro Quint, Eddie Barzoon, Doug Coughlin, anyone from Alien in Edna, Buffalo Bill, Doc Holliday or Jenny Gump.

[Craig Horbeck]

Doc Holliday. You would get sicker getting Doc Holliday's organs. Why do I all of a sudden have tb?

[Bill Simmons]

Then he said in Bird thought we trust. That's pretty good.

[Chris Ryan]

That's great.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know if that's an everything, but I think we back pocketed it. I think that's in the flex category with accepted organ donations.

[Chris Ryan]

Or maybe it's like whose organ would you want from this movie?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I think if we did an organ donation draft, I think Quint's the first pick for the one I wouldn't want. He's just been drinking for 25 straight years. Oh yeah.

[Craig Horbeck]

I mean smoking and has definitely has melanoma from being out on a boat with no sun. Suntan.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. I think he would have the most things wrong with him.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Craig Horbeck]

Would you say the shark probably put him out of his misery.

[Bill Simmons]

Stolen from Castaway. Is he. Is he a yes or no for organ donation on that island for five years. Had a really bad staph. Infection in his mouth.

[Chris Ryan]

Fasting is good for you, though. You know, he's been in circus for two years.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, true.

[Craig Horbeck]

That's right. His Clary.

[Bill Simmons]

His liver would be great.

[Chris Ryan]

He's pretty clean.

[Craig Horbeck]

Do you think the first time he has like a Coors late when he gets back, it just blows his mind like he just gets completely tanked?

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I would say like half a glass of wine.

[Chris Ryan]

His first trip to McDonald's sets him back a week.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Adam Chu says that I have a suggestion for a new category award. The Clint Eastwood Ego Stroke Award. For the detail or scene that's clearly just there to stroke the person's ego. Named after Clint Eastwood in the Mule, who plays an octogenarian who has two separate threesomes. Is this the thing that happened? I don't think I've ever seen the Mule.

[Craig Horbeck]

I don't think I have either. I gotta admit, I don't remember that from the Mule. And I think I saw it in the theaters.

[Bill Simmons]

Clint had to make sure we knew that not only does he still fuck, he fucks with stamina.

[Craig Horbeck]

This guy might have a director's.

[Bill Simmons]

See, he said other examples are the Rock and Vin Diesel never losing a fight. And every choice Steven Seagal has ever made, which we've talked about. Yeah, Steven Seagal, every movie. He just. Nobody even lands a punch on him. He just completely demolishes everyone. Vin Diesel is a good one, though. We've never seen Vin Diesel lose a fight in any of the Fast and Furiouses. Not against this award. I might. I might throw it in the flexes.

[Craig Horbeck]

Clint has priors too. I. I always found like the Renee Russo, Clint Eastwood in the Line of Fire relationship to be like putting a little layer of cream cheese on that. Now she's gonna look back at me because she loves it. She can't get enough.

[Bill Simmons]

She's looking back, wondering if you're still driving.

[Craig Horbeck]

Somehow we're still in the Secret Service.

[Bill Simmons]

Connor from California said what would be the Mount Rushmore of movie recommendations that would almost guarantee the female recipient you were interested would not have interest not only in seeing the movie, but ever speaking to you again.

[Craig Horbeck]

Like to live and die in is a. Is a. A really good one to start with.

[Chris Ryan]

This is a phenomenal question.

[Bill Simmons]

He said he nominates bad lieutenant happiness 8 millimeter. And come and See.

[Chris Ryan]

We have.

[Craig Horbeck]

I don't think we're going to do Come and see on the Watchables.

[Bill Simmons]

And he said, I got to thinking how to repurpose this into a category. And I give you The Harvey Keitel traffic stop Bad Lieutenant award for worst possible scene to watch on a first date.

[Craig Horbeck]

I know a guy who took a girl to go see the Romanian abortion drama. Four months, three weeks and two days on a first date.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, my God.

[Craig Horbeck]

I think hereditary would be up there.

[Chris Ryan]

That's a good one. Death wish.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Craig's still scarred for first 20 minutes.

[Craig Horbeck]

I mean, even I. Even I walked in there with my head hanging low. I was like, I feel weird about this one. And I think we like kind of scooted past the first 20 minutes.

[Bill Simmons]

Any movie?

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

True.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I think Monsters Ball is the answer to all of this. Yeah. It's. What? It's because we had that other category about worst thing to watch with your parent with your in laws. That one was.

[Craig Horbeck]

Sure.

[Bill Simmons]

When you're all going to the movies together.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I think Monsters Ball wins all of this. It hits. It checks all the boxes.

[Chris Ryan]

Manchester by the Sea. Tough first date. Probably.

[Craig Horbeck]

Well, there's a difference between, like, what's one that a woman will probably just be like this. You got to be kidding me with this. Versus something that's horrifying.

[Chris Ryan]

Right? Right.

[Craig Horbeck]

I guess this is more like species hereditary and.

[Bill Simmons]

And.

[Craig Horbeck]

And Manchester by the Sea, I think are like real bummers.

[Chris Ryan]

Is Species a terrible first date movie?

[Craig Horbeck]

I don't know.

[Chris Ryan]

Or is it not bad? It's tough when you have to really

[Craig Horbeck]

have some ramen and watch feces because

[Bill Simmons]

you can't really seems great. You can't be like, how good did Natasha Hendridge look?

[Chris Ryan]

Like, that's the really gratuitous naked 80s movie scenes are tough.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah. When she's nailing Alfred Molina and you're

[Bill Simmons]

like, hey, how about that?

[Craig Horbeck]

Pretty cool.

[Bill Simmons]

You like that? I was trying to think of fights that I had after movies with people I was either dating or on a date with or fights about the movie that whatever. And one of them was I saw Chasing Amy with a girl I was dating in Boston a little bit. It was like a. Not really. Weren't serious, but dating.

[Craig Horbeck]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

And she liked the movie more than I did. And I really hated the ending. And we argued about it for an hour. It wasn't like angry arguing, but it was made me like her less that she liked the ending so much because I was like, that's fucking stupid.

[Craig Horbeck]

I feel like once you get to a certain age, you're just kind of like, did you like that? And it's like, no. And I was like, all right, I'm not gonna fight about it.

[Bill Simmons]

I also saw Mad Love with Drew Barrymore and Chris o' Donnell with a date, and they got choked up at the end. And I was like, wow, that. I can't believe you got choked.

[Craig Horbeck]

Now hitting me. One of the worst nights with my wife was seeing the Master. She really did not enjoy that movie.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, really?

[Craig Horbeck]

She was just like, you have to be kidding me. Like, why did you take me to that?

[Bill Simmons]

That is Master is probably the most polarizing good movie. Because I don't like it either.

[Chris Ryan]

You don't?

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, I love that movie.

[Craig Horbeck]

I was just watching a clip.

[Bill Simmons]

That movie's a fun hang.

[Craig Horbeck]

And I was like, I wonder if we would ever do that.

[Bill Simmons]

But, yeah, I respect it. Sure.

[Chris Ryan]

What'd you think of Begonia? Did you see Begonia?

[Bill Simmons]

I don't. I don't. I don't watch Yorgos anymore. He's lost my faith and trust.

[Craig Horbeck]

Me too, man. Sold my tickets.

[Chris Ryan]

Really?

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

You didn't watch Begonia either?

[Craig Horbeck]

I watched it, but I'm just like, I. I only watch them because they get nominated. And I'm just like, I can't believe this.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't like weird just to be weird. I think there's a line.

[Craig Horbeck]

I don't actually think it's that weird. And that's part of the problem.

[Chris Ryan]

If you just look, oh, interesting.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, yeah, he's trying to be weird, but it's actually not interesting.

[Chris Ryan]

I think the statement the movie's trying to make, I'm less interested in that. I think it's. It's better if you just look at it as a. Is this woman an alien movie? I think in that respect, it's really good.

[Bill Simmons]

Nick. That's it. That's all he gave us. He has a category to every watchable podcast Fantasy is on. He gives a criterion level fact that's either 100 true or is completely made up. And then we have to guess, oh,

[Craig Horbeck]

two truths and a lie. With Sean Fantasy. That's good.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, it's pretty good.

[Craig Horbeck]

It's good.

[Chris Ryan]

I would believe it every time. The truth.

[Bill Simmons]

And there's some sort of reward punishment if we guess correctly. More than wrong, Fantasy has to do a Forrest Gump impression. Uttering the line, I think I ruined your roommate's bathrobe, he would be like, fuck that. I'm not doing that.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah. Or maybe if we get Sean. If, like, Sean ever gets caught 10 times, he has to do a repatzables with you. Were you just talking about Brady for about an hour and a half about Pat?

[Bill Simmons]

Maybe we get to five. And if. If gu. Yes, first guess. No. There's some sort of either punishment.

[Craig Horbeck]

Punishment or reward. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

All right. This is from KB in Colorado. Is Ryan Gosling hosting SNL, the Hollywood equivalent of LeBron entering the dunk contest. Gosling, a list actor, top of his profession, goes on snl, fully commits. Willingness to risk looking uncool endears him to fans, not fans. Elevates his brand. Just same. I picked this just for Craig because I know Craig loves Gosling and snl. I know the comparison is in Apples. Apples. I wish more NBA stars would do this. And then he said, is Gosling this generation's best? Current host of snl? He's putting together a strong resume. Is he flirting with Mount Rushmore, or is that still set in stone?

[Chris Ryan]

I do think he's the best right now. I think he's at the top of the mountain for SNL.

[Bill Simmons]

I think his best last 10 years.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah, I think he definitely is. It's his. It's his willing to commit. It's not that he does SNL because a lot of people do it. It's that he's willing to just look like an idiot and do whatever they want. It's just such a good move.

[Craig Horbeck]

He. I can't think of somebody who's better. Like, I mean, I was. The Chalamet. Episode one is good.

[Chris Ryan]

I think he's in.

[Bill Simmons]

Chami's good. Emma Stone's really good.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah, it's.

[Bill Simmons]

It's kind of a litmus test in some ways to what kind of actor you are, because the ones that can pop on SNL and just ride with anything.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

It's probably part of why they're such a good actor.

[Chris Ryan]

It's just willing to not take yourself too seriously. The Gosling SNL that he just did, the whole opening monologue was basically dedicated to how hot Harry Styles was. And he did. And like, like the fact that he was willing to do that. Yeah. Shows why he's so great.

[Bill Simmons]

It's a weird one from Tim in Los Angeles. It's a question for a conspiracy bill. He said, In 90s crime movies, your wheelhouse. Cell phones are basically James Harden in the playoffs. The second someone uses one, it's their listening. Dump it. Get to a play phone. The smart criminals always go analog. Here's the thing. I don't think that was just a storytelling crutch. I think big phone lobbied Hollywood hard to make early cell phones feel insecure and traceable. Slow down cell phone adoption, keep landlines and payphones alive a few more years. Product placement in reverse. All that cell phones taught Us was. You're getting caught. That's not nothing. I'm saying it happened really interesting.

[Craig Horbeck]

He thinks that like, 18. Well, who would.

[Chris Ryan]

Who.

[Craig Horbeck]

What would Big Fell, like, the. Tell the telecom companies.

[Chris Ryan]

But don't those companies also own the cell phones?

[Bill Simmons]

That's where the conspiracy falls apart.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah, because you have to get a plan. And they were usually with the companies that. Except for, like, I guess there was a few that didn't.

[Chris Ryan]

I like where his head's at, though.

[Bill Simmons]

Where did. What happened in crime movies when it's like, get to a payphone and you give the guy the number. That's kind of gone now because we don't have payphones. So how do people communicate on signal?

[Chris Ryan]

Do you feel like iPhones are going to come back or any version of untraceable communication?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I mean, if Blu Rays could come back, anything's.

[Craig Horbeck]

I just don't think people really call that much. You know what I mean? Like, it's like you call your loved ones and you get phone calls from, like, spam. But, like, do. Do you just, like, blind call Bill to ask him a question?

[Chris Ryan]

We're just learning now that, I mean, obviously emails come back, I think texts. Ten years from now, we're going to think of text the way that we're thinking of emails now. And it's like, people got to figure out ways to talk. That's not traceable.

[Bill Simmons]

I call Craig sometimes just to freak him out and think something happened. But I'm just calling to be like,

[Chris Ryan]

yo, you called me when I was in Indianapolis and I was like, oh, no, you'll do.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah, you have a. It's like the. The random Bill called that. You're like, oh, oh, no. And then it's like, bankaro. I don't love it.

[Chris Ryan]

When I was in Indianapolis, I like

[Bill Simmons]

to be a positive force of people.

[Chris Ryan]

I was at dinner, Bill calls me. I leave to go step outside. I answered. He goes, goes, you're going to love CR's Zane Lowe impression on today's Pod.

[Bill Simmons]

That literally happened. That was true.

[Craig Horbeck]

You stepped out.

[Bill Simmons]

You thought there was an emergency. Okay, this is. This is. This plane has to take off and fly in the air for a couple seconds, but it lands really well.

[Chris Ryan]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

It's from Cullen. L. Cullen. I don't think we've had a Cullen before. Cullen. Little rare name. You've been talking about rewatching Game of Thrones in the sauna. I do it every two years or so. I'm always caught off guard in season five, episode five, when Jorah And Tyrion's captures just casually mentioned that they would sell Tyrion to a cock merchant. That got me thinking about how one goes about becoming a cock merchant. Did you graduate in a bad economy? Unemployment rate is high and it's hard to find a job. Just hate chopping dicks. Do it all for the paycheck. Telling people it's temporary. Cut to 25 years later, you're senior director of Dwarf cocks with thinning hair and a beer belly wondering where your life went. That made me think, okay, about what? Other movies just casually introduce a character with a. Holy shit. How is that a job job? Like the dude in Minority Report who just sells new eyeballs to Tom Cruise.

[Chris Ryan]

Good one.

[Bill Simmons]

Bet that guy's life didn't turn out the way he expected.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Anyway, I think you should consider the Cock Merchant. How the hell is that a job category?

[Craig Horbeck]

That's a decision, right? That's our boy Stormer.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I'd really like the how is this a job job?

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Category. I think that's really strong. Merchant.

[Chris Ryan]

Merchant's really good.

[Bill Simmons]

We've never usually for rewatch most categories we have movies in the award, not television shows. So we'd really have to bend it on this one.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah, I'm trying to. I'm just trying to scan through my head and think of like, of like characters and like Goodfellas who had bad jobs or something like that. But it's, it's a. It's. It's got a lot of like.

[Bill Simmons]

I mean, it's tough to top. Eyeball. Eyeball reseller.

[Craig Horbeck]

Sure.

[Bill Simmons]

In the future.

[Craig Horbeck]

How about, I mean, Millich in Eyes Wide shut doing a 24 hour costume shop where he also pimps out family members.

[Bill Simmons]

Actually, now that we're talking about this though, the, the Joaquin Phoenix in 8 millimeter. Oh, yeah. Just working in the adult film store and seeing things that you can't unsee and knowing like the dark world from

[Craig Horbeck]

To Live and Die.

[Bill Simmons]

Maybe just go work at like a subway.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah. Working at a topless bar and also acting as a. A snitch.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. The guy in Ace Ventura, Ruthy the Rat.

[Chris Ryan]

The old man in Ace Ventura whose only job is like tracking whale locations in that room right in the concert venue.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. This is good. I bet people have more ideas too. This is from Casey in Washington D.C. the Bill Simmons watching TV on blast through Sonic Glass award for the most ridiculous behavior in the movie. Think Al Pacino. Give me all you got. Or Tom Cruise being drunk or Nicholas Cage being singing Hallelujah. Face off but here's his big question. If you could do a rewatch was with Tom Cruise, which movie would you want to do with him? If it was his movie?

[Craig Horbeck]

Ooh,

[Bill Simmons]

I have a choice. But I'm interested in your takes. Depends on how Craig would do Traffic Thunder. Just so we could do Traffic Thunder.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, my God, 100%. I know what you would say.

[Craig Horbeck]

I would do Eyes Wide Shut. I just want to know everything about it. I would want to know everything about, like, what it was like if she. If he was going to be like, it's all on the table. Let's go. Like, me and Nicole, me and Stanley. Did Stanley get killed before the movie comes out? Like, I'll talk about anything. I would probably be that.

[Bill Simmons]

So maybe it's two versions of Cruise. It's everything's on the table. We have no secrets Cruise. It's Eyes Wide Shut.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

If it's the Cruise, the public figure Cruise that we know, it's got to be Cocktail. Just has to be.

[Craig Horbeck]

What do you think his recall for the making of Cocktail is at this point in his life? Like, can you.

[Bill Simmons]

I mean, he's an alien. He's never drank. He has all his brain cells.

[Chris Ryan]

I want to know which Tom Cruise skill he's held on to the most.

[Craig Horbeck]

Oh, that's a great question.

[Bill Simmons]

The cocktail pod. You would make him flip the bottle. See if you could do it.

[Chris Ryan]

He's still good at pool from color,

[Craig Horbeck]

but he would probably be like, I can actually fly a jet, and you guys want me to make a dark and stormy. Like, that's like, who gives a.

[Chris Ryan]

You know, if you could do one activity with Tom Cruise, what is it?

[Bill Simmons]

Playpool.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Or I'd want to bartend.

[Craig Horbeck]

You'd want to bartend with him?

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, hey, there's an opening at TGA Fridays today.

[Craig Horbeck]

I'd like to give him sets in volleyball and just see what happens.

[Chris Ryan]

I want to dance with him to little John.

[Bill Simmons]

I'd also want to incorporate Joe House in it somehow, because House has the rare ability to just be able to immediately befriend and hang out with everybody and give somebody a nickname. So, like, almost immediately, like, tc, what's up? And just like, Tom Cruise would love him. All right, shots fired in this email from Tyler. He is. He signed this Tyler on an ice road crew.

[Chris Ryan]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

Not sure what that means.

[Craig Horbeck]

It means he's probably driving on ice roads.

[Bill Simmons]

I didn't know if it was a stealth rewatchables reference from something we did on an ice road. Who knows? Would this movie be worth worse with like how we do with Hanks and Cruz? The reverse easily. Only one choice for each sex and blatantly obvious it would be Jared Leto and Dakota Johnson. I was yelling in my tractor for Craig to be a man and name them, but obviously someone has gotten to him too. When did we talk about this?

[Chris Ryan]

I have no idea. Would this movie be worse with Jared Leto or Dakota Johnson?

[Bill Simmons]

I think that's pretty funny.

[Craig Horbeck]

Where are you at with Dakota?

[Bill Simmons]

I personally really like her. She's been in. Her batting average is. She's under the Mendoza line.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah, it's.

[Bill Simmons]

I personally like her.

[Craig Horbeck]

It's pretty rare to have like this amount of turkeys, I guess. But I. I do find myself fascinated by her.

[Chris Ryan]

I agree. I like her as a personality, I think more than I do the movie. Yeah.

[Craig Horbeck]

She's a better like talk show guest than she is.

[Bill Simmons]

Like I loved when she flipped it on Ellen. I felt like that started the Ellen DeGeneres turn.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

When she was like, I did invite you. You didn't respond or whatever. Whatever that whole thing was. Jared Leto, I just don't like.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Root against him. I. First of all, any actor who then also tries to shove his band down your throat. I just my guards up.

[Craig Horbeck]

Sure.

[Bill Simmons]

Right away with those guys.

[Chris Ryan]

Who are the best actors that are in a popular band?

[Craig Horbeck]

Keanu. Oh, in a popular band. I mean dog stars like Billy Bob is a big. Like my band. Like that. Like my band is real busy this year. So Landman may have to wait a while.

[Bill Simmons]

Like James Dolan is the best also. Here's my band.

[Craig Horbeck]

Straight shot.

[Chris Ryan]

Here's my band.

[Bill Simmons]

He has some of the best jazz musicians in the country. He overpays to be his backup band. Wanna take a break and I have a big question coming up.

[Chris Ryan]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay. This episode is brought to you by TaxAct. Like an expert coach, TaxAct offers step by step guidance and guaranteed accuracy when filing taxes. Get tips along the way. Add expert assist to talk to tax experts and let our experts do your taxes for you. With Expert full service, TaxAct helps you find the deductions and credits you deserve so you can get them over with. Visit taxact.com to learn more. Conditions apply. See taxact.com for details.

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[Bill Simmons]

All right, this is from Josh from Vegas via Albany. And he said in parentheses. Yes, that's a real thing.

[Craig Horbeck]

Thing.

[Bill Simmons]

Building a rewatchables extended movie universe hall of Fame pyramid. Like I did with the book of basketball. Who are the level one guys? Who's on top? Who are the role players? I feel like this could at least be a good mailbag bit. You're correct. So I was thinking about this. I put some time into this one. I sent this one to you guys if we did like you do it every year, right? Like how the NBA, they have like this year's inductees. So we did the first ballot, but the Pantheon would have to be the five people that have been in the most rewatchable movies. I think that'd be a fair way to do it. Which is Cruz, 17. Pacino, 14. De Niro, 13. Denzel, 12. Stallone, 12.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

So those would be our first inductee for the Pantheon. I think you'd have the following four directors. Spielberg, nine. Tony Scott, nine. Michael Mann, eight. Scorsese, eight. You'd put those four in special achievement. Steven Seagal brought us a lot of joy.

[Craig Horbeck]

Sure.

[Bill Simmons]

Rene Russo, just killing the 90s, showing up over and over again. She's been in seven Rewatchables movies.

[Craig Horbeck]

Oh, my God. Philip Seymour Hoffman got his own category.

[Chris Ryan]

Bernthal.

[Bill Simmons]

How's the peeping? How's the peeping?

[Craig Horbeck]

You know what? Psh, scene I just keep watching over and over again. Mission Impossible 3. You think I won't do it?

[Bill Simmons]

So special achievement. Would you put Bernthal in there for what he meant to the rewatchables? I feel like he gets in. Yeah, I think Julia Roberts gets in. She's second most female rewatchables. Plus Pretty Woman was one of the funniest pods we had. And I don't know, she's just popped

[Chris Ryan]

in different decades in special achievement or just in.

[Bill Simmons]

I was thinking special achievement. But you could also just save her for hall of fame. Is there anybody else you would do for special achievement?

[Craig Horbeck]

I mean, if you just want to Use people who have been. I think like Philip Baker hall, for instance, deserves recognition as a role player for his role.

[Bill Simmons]

I think he's doing him in the next category for the that guy category.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah, but he's also in the imitations for a while.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, true.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Who else did we do for imitations?

[Craig Horbeck]

We had Wayne Robert Loggia, Andy Garcia, Philip Baker Hall, Pete Possewaite.

[Bill Simmons]

I Honestly, Logia's got to be. Yeah. Because he also is in big. All right, so special achievements. Seagal, Russo, Hoffman Loggia. Would you have a fifth? Oh, Karen from Goodfellas. Lorraine Bracco.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, Bracco's in. Okay, that's five. The that guy award. These are all graduated that guys but Joey Pants, John Carroll lynch, who was in 3 and 4 at one point.

[Craig Horbeck]

What a run for him.

[Bill Simmons]

I think Catherine o' Hara has to be in there because she's been in a bunch of different ones. We've done different characters and. And Remar. Yeah, so we've talked about Remar. And then would you put Baker hall as the fifth?

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah, I think he's probably actually also been secretly in like 10 rewatchables.

[Bill Simmons]

We just have. I don't know.

[Chris Ryan]

I know we need to find our Robert Ori, who's actually been in the most rewatchables movies. Is it cruise with 17 or is there somebody who's actually been in more?

[Bill Simmons]

I look this up. Nobody has been in over 10.

[Craig Horbeck]

Do you know how many Hoffman movies we've done? How many PS movies?

[Bill Simmons]

Seven or eight. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. And there's some left.

[Craig Horbeck]

Oh, yeah. I mean, there's some that I would just put in just for hitting him.

[Bill Simmons]

So then I have like Charlie Wilson's War or something. Throw your life away. Roller Girl, Catherine Chamel, Edie Falcon, Copland and Robin Givens. A boomerang.

[Craig Horbeck]

Oh, and there's. I can think of a bunch of

[Bill Simmons]

other ones, but I was just the first class.

[Craig Horbeck]

De Mornay from Risky Business.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Craig Horbeck]

We have room for one more for that one.

[Bill Simmons]

Room for one more. I mean, he literally did throw his life away. All right, we'll add De Mornay, Risky Business, unless you want to do Species. I don't care if I die at the end of the sexual encounter.

[Chris Ryan]

I mean, certainly I. She should probably be in there. I mean, let's be honest.

[Craig Horbeck]

A bunch of guys did throw their lives away.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

That's. So she'll be.

[Chris Ryan]

Who do you like from Fletch?

[Craig Horbeck]

Oh, Dana Wheeler. Nicholson.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, that could be another category. Most polarizing arguments we've had on the podcast, Sean just being. Just laughing us down.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

For an hour and a half. Yeah.

[Craig Horbeck]

Like, forget that.

[Chris Ryan]

I mean, I would throw Courtney Cox or Mace Ventura in there, but.

[Bill Simmons]

Ooh. Can add that as well. Just.

[Chris Ryan]

We're just naming hot women in tv. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And then last one. This is the big one. The Dion waiters. First class. So I did some work on this. Ted Levine, Silence of the Lambs. Yeah, she. She great big fat person. Katherine Hahn and stepbrothers. We did, like, 15 minutes on how good she was in that movie.

[Chris Ryan]

We did that a while ago.

[Bill Simmons]

She's so fucking funny in that movie.

[Craig Horbeck]

We should restart.

[Chris Ryan]

That was, like, 2017. I wasn't doing the show then.

[Bill Simmons]

Are you sure?

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, I wasn't there. I don't think.

[Craig Horbeck]

Who did you do it with? Did we do it?

[Bill Simmons]

I don't remember. I don't remember anything anymore. It might have been me, you and Sean, maybe.

[Chris Ryan]

See, when that was.

[Bill Simmons]

She's amazing in that movie.

[Chris Ryan]

So good.

[Craig Horbeck]

Did we do, like. Like, I feel like we talked about the Catalina Wine cooler for, like, 25 minutes.

[Chris Ryan]

It was the U2. And Sean. July 2018, which is the week I got hired.

[Bill Simmons]

Wow. So we could probably do that as a live show. Cyrus and the Warriors. Christopher Walken with the combo Pulp and True Romance.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I think he won for both, Right?

[Craig Horbeck]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

And then Clemenza and the Godfather, who we talked about for a while. We did just five scenes. Just absolutely annihilating all of them.

[Chris Ryan]

Does Christoph Waltz count? From Inglourious Basterds.

[Craig Horbeck]

He's like.

[Bill Simmons]

He's in it because the other one is. I. Initially, I thought Melissa McCarthy and Bridesmaids, one of the funniest performances of all time. But she's in it too much. She's like a star ensemble.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

That's why Katherine Han's on, like, four scenes. Just, like, absolutely destroying everything.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

In all of them. But I think it's those four. There's probably some other ones. Oh, and McBride. And this is the end. Oh, yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, my God.

[Bill Simmons]

Is he in it too much?

[Craig Horbeck]

He's in it for the first half of the movie. Right.

[Chris Ryan]

He's maybe in it too much.

[Craig Horbeck]

Oh, no, wait. It's more like the second third, where he shows up, the whole night happens,

[Chris Ryan]

and then he wakes up. But he's probably there for a good 30 minutes.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

I don't know.

[Bill Simmons]

It's tough.

[Craig Horbeck]

Michael. Sarah. And this is the end would be mine.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Would there? Oh, that's a good. I think he won, actually.

[Chris Ryan]

He had to have Slapping Rihanna's ass.

[Bill Simmons]

Cause we did. We probably decided McBride was in it

[Chris Ryan]

too much blowing Coke in people's face.

[Bill Simmons]

Is there any other category you would put in for the hall of Fame? I think we should just make that. We should actually really put more time into this and then like announce it on some.

[Craig Horbeck]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

Special pod and have like plaques and stuff.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah, that would be good.

[Bill Simmons]

But is there another category that should be in there? I think those are the basics.

[Craig Horbeck]

No, those are the big ones. I mean, I think Apex Mountain so open for debate about what it is. Kind of like it's hard to put it in.

[Bill Simmons]

We didn't have bargain. Yeah, it would be too confusing because I was thinking could villain be in there?

[Craig Horbeck]

But oh, Hans Gruber villain.

[Chris Ryan]

You could do Apex Mountain by year. Like who. Who has 1984, who has 1985, who has 1986?

[Bill Simmons]

I was thinking because we. We did. We have nice guys coming and Gosling was in that and La La Land same year. That my case for that. They should name for the Oscars an MVP of the year year.

[Craig Horbeck]

Oh yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Either somebody that just completely. The performance was so unbelievable, they owned the year, or somebody that had.

[Craig Horbeck]

I would love to go back through. I mean there's like the Spielberg. There's a couple Spielberg years where he does two movies and stuff.

[Bill Simmons]

I mean that's the thing. The MVP can be director, actor, actress, any cinematographer even.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

I mean we talked about Carrie in 94 doing dumb and dumb Carrie wins the best.

[Bill Simmons]

He's. It's like. It's like unanimous vote. Like almost like.

[Craig Horbeck]

And if you go back earlier to like the 70s and 80s, there are times when people put up like three, four movies that are pretty good. You know, like Redford Hoffman, De Niro years.

[Chris Ryan]

Didn't Soderbergh get nominated for best director for two different movies in the same year?

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah, Traffic and Aaron Brockovich.

[Chris Ryan]

Right. I mean that's.

[Craig Horbeck]

No, wait. Yeah, that was it. Right?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Tom K And Tucson. He wants us to flirt with an Unwatchables month. And he mentioned we have to do Gigli, the Ben Affleck anti classic.

[Chris Ryan]

Is that a rock bottom? The opposite of Apex Mountain. Sheely.

[Bill Simmons]

That's his nadir mountain. He mentions how Affleck's critical to the pod, which is true. We love Affleck. The Hangover's Justin Bartho submits a nuclear holocaust of a Rain man impression that his career somehow survived. Two big name cameos in the film, including Al Pacino. And then he suggested unwatchables month Gigli Rocky 5, Battlefield, Earth, Freddy Got Fingered, and Cat Went Back. We get a lot of requests for Catwoman because it's really, truly one of the worst movies ever made.

[Chris Ryan]

Is that the Halle Berry one? Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

There's a crazy basketball scene in that movie that's like, I can't even describe it. I'm sure Dan has some thoughts.

[Craig Horbeck]

We kind of lost the art of making real stinkers because now they're more like superhero movies or sci fi movies that you're watching. But usually superhero movies where I'm like, I can't believe they let this, like, they put this out.

[Chris Ryan]

Well, it's funny because right now there kind of is one of those in the brush Bride.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah. But there are a bunch of people who think the bride's awesome.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Craig Horbeck]

Or the bride is like a brave step, you know?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. I like the bride Zaggers.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

They're like, you guys didn't understand.

[Chris Ryan]

Like, we had cats, I guess.

[Craig Horbeck]

Oh, yeah. The Taylor Swift cats.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Drew S writes, what do you think about adding a flex category for the Ted Levine Buffalo Bill Award for performance so good and distinct it damaged the actor's career. Retroactive winners include Billy Zabka and Karate Kid, Patrick Bergen and Sleeping with the Enemy. And even though Chris Maloney and J.K. simmons had strong careers, you can never unwatch their characters in Oz. Waingro, to me, is the ultimate example. Yeah. I don't even know. I couldn't even see Wayne Gro again after Heat.

[Craig Horbeck]

I mean, I think he's even now leaning it like he did the. The Mulaney show where he just came out as Wingro. I mean, it's like you just.

[Bill Simmons]

This is a good flex category for. If there's a movie where it's so clearly.

[Craig Horbeck]

It's basically like, are you gonna be signing autographs at conventions for the next 30 years as this character?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

It's the Typecast award, I guess. Right. Kind of.

[Craig Horbeck]

Because it happens.

[Chris Ryan]

We see it in TV all the time. It's like Jason Alexander was George.

[Bill Simmons]

This is more disturbing, right? Yeah. It's like the performance was so distinct that you can't unsee the performance from the character.

[Craig Horbeck]

But Patrick Bergen is like a good example.

[Bill Simmons]

He was a good actor. But Sleeping with the Enemy, you just seen him going, right, Laura? And he's just so crazy and evil. You're like, he actually has to be crazy and evil. There's no way he's acting.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

That's a really tough line across. Wayne Gross. Same thing.

[Craig Horbeck]

Frank Nitty and the Untouchables. I can't remember that actor's name, but

[Bill Simmons]

it's like the bad guy.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah, the guy in the white suit. I would just be like, I'm going to the other side.

[Bill Simmons]

For Jeff, it's Goldblum and Death Wish. He watches. The big show is.

[Chris Ryan]

Man, this is a great category. There's so many that I want to go back and look at.

[Craig Horbeck]

Like, the role that haunts you, the role that haunts the actor.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. This is a nerdy one from Ron in Florida. He's a tax lawyer. He said in 82, Congress passed the Tax Equity and Fiscal Responsibility act, which made bearer bonds very expensive for companies to issue and are very rare to see after the mid-80s. That's why you don't see bearer bonds anymore. And he. And he can look past it for some post 82 movies like Beverly Was Cop, maybe even Die Hard. But when we get to Heat and Panic Room. No fucking way.

[Craig Horbeck]

Basically, he's saying they're just out of circulation.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, he's like. He's like, Roger Van Zandt is not carrying around 1.6 million in bonds well past their maturity date. Come on.

[Craig Horbeck]

Okay, we'll tell Michael, man.

[Bill Simmons]

Matt Hennessy suggests the Dave Toshke Animal Crackers award for most niche taste or interest exhibited by a main character in a movie.

[Craig Horbeck]

Jesus, this is good.

[Bill Simmons]

Floyd Gondale's penchant for backdoor lollipops. He mentions, did you just do it again?

[Craig Horbeck]

Gandali.

[Bill Simmons]

Floyd Gandali.

[Craig Horbeck]

Gundoli.

[Bill Simmons]

Gundoli, yeah. Reynolds Woodcock's fondness for poison mushrooms and phantom thread.

[Craig Horbeck]

Sure.

[Bill Simmons]

Steve Crow's character in Little Miss Sunshine being the permanent press scar in America. And then Neil McCauley in medals. It's pretty good.

[Chris Ryan]

Or like Malkovich and Rounders liking Oreos.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. I think this goes into fleck.

[Craig Horbeck]

Jennifer Lopez, Dolphins fan in an out of Sight. And it's not niche. I mean, she's from Miami, but it's still like. Is like absolutely mind blowing specific. She just walks out wearing a merino jersey.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

What's. What's Fantasy's version of this?

[Chris Ryan]

It's like what's his name in To Live and Die in LA wearing the Steelers Max

[Craig Horbeck]

jersey.

[Bill Simmons]

What's Fantasy's most niche taste like as a human being?

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah, I think it's almost the reverse of his no white condiments thing.

[Chris Ryan]

Is that a thing?

[Craig Horbeck]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Like, no ranch, no mayo.

[Bill Simmons]

Nope.

[Craig Horbeck]

Although he does cheat with aioli sometimes, but he doesn't like any white condiments.

[Chris Ryan]

Is it Be like, why is it he just happens to not like condiments that are white?

[Bill Simmons]

Such a good answer. And it's. It's. It's great. It's so fetishy. Like, really hates mayonnaise.

[Craig Horbeck]

No white condiments.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, no milk.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Wow.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Doesn't like half and half.

[Chris Ryan]

Mayo's great. You need mayo in a sandwich.

[Bill Simmons]

Rob Casher actually convinced me to change a category.

[Craig Horbeck]

Oh.

[Bill Simmons]

And he said he's a huge fan of the show. He's been on the Ride since the Page two days, but he said it's a terrible job by me with the Elizabeth Shue Award. She's highly educated. She went to Wellesley and Harvard, and she radiates intelligence in most of her work. I can't disagree. Her being cast as an astrophysicist is perfectly credible in the saint, at least by Hollywood standards. It does not feel like she was cast because she was simply hot. Obviously, the award needs to be the Denise Richards as nuclear physicist Christmas Jones Award.

[Craig Horbeck]

Sure.

[Bill Simmons]

So I changed that. I think he's right. Denise Richards playing a nuclear physicist is a hundred times more absurd than Elizabeth Shue.

[Craig Horbeck]

I like it. The Christmas Jones Award.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. I really like this question from Jack in Austin. In the Social Network, there's a short scene where Eduardo comes to visit Zuck in his dorm room and mentions he made it to the next round of the final club recruitment. Eisenberg gets up, stands in the doorway, and robotically says, that's good. You should be proud of that right there. Don't worry if you don't make it any further. It's an all time line reading that conveys smarminess, jealousy, and resentment without showing much emotion. I propose the. That's good. You should be proud of that right there. Don't worry if you don't make it any further. Word. For best line reading. Past winners include she's got a great Ass. Everybody in the German army has heard of Hugo Stigwitz. And my offer is this. Nothing. We. We have to add this.

[Craig Horbeck]

Okay. I don't know if Sean's gonna listen to this, but next time we have Sean on and. And he says something, you should go, that's good. You should be proud of that. Take. Don't get mad if I don't throw to you for a while.

[Bill Simmons]

I think best line reading is a great one.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm kind of surprised we've had this pod for nine years and didn't think that that should be a category.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Because it's a little twist on best quote or Belatedly, best quote, best line reading. Leslie Nielsen. An airplane. Good luck.

[Bill Simmons]

We're all counting, right?

[Craig Horbeck]

But I think what is the point is also that the. What Jesse Eisenberg says winds up being like. Like a very, like, prophetic thing about his relationship with Eduardo.

[Bill Simmons]

The words need to be really. Yeah.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah. So it's like. It's hard. It's like, that's a tasty beverage. Is. Or that's a tasty burger is like. It's an incredible line reading. I don't know if it has, like, everything to do with fiction. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Pat from Scranton had one that another good category suggestion about if we did a Recast Away, the Wilson I'm sorry award for. Did this movie cross over into pop culture and become a universal joker reference, like the Exorcist headspin.

[Craig Horbeck]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

He mentions Groundhog Day, the movie. Houston, we have a problem. Funny. How am I funny? Clown. Just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in.

[Chris Ryan]

Houston, we have a problem. It's from a movie.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Isn't that Apollo 13?

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah, it's Apollo 13, but that's where it started.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Craig Horbeck]

I mean, I think that they actually said it, you know, like, oh, I

[Chris Ryan]

didn't realize that movie is what pushed that into the lexicon. I think that was already.

[Bill Simmons]

If a movie had a moment that actually became cultural, I think that needs to be recognized.

[Craig Horbeck]

Tough, because you can put it.

[Bill Simmons]

On what stage is the best the

[Craig Horbeck]

last, like, 10 years. I feel like they become more like visual memes and. Yeah, like that. Rather than the lines.

[Chris Ryan]

Because now it's like a screenshot of Killian Murphy from Oppenheimer after, like, the. What have I done? And it's just a shot of him looking for the Duff quarterback.

[Craig Horbeck]

Right.

[Chris Ryan]

Or the Duff quarterback. Yeah.

[Craig Horbeck]

What's the last movie you can think of that really broke into, like, popular cultural lexicon?

[Bill Simmons]

I think it takes 10 years. I think it's a slow burn.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Craig Horbeck]

Because it's like Bane now is like. There's all these Bane jokes like, that you'll hear on, like, sports pods and stuff. And it's like, that was not happening, like, when it first came out.

[Bill Simmons]

The town's a good one, though. Like, the town which is 15 years old.

[Craig Horbeck]

Whose car are we going to take?

[Bill Simmons]

The Departed. I think it takes, like, 10 to 15 years. It's got to really, really work at it. Jordan R. I'm still laughing about you.

[Craig Horbeck]

That's a good take shot. You should be proud. Don't get mad if I don't call on you for a while.

[Bill Simmons]

Another 48 hours and we mentioned the warriors and Jordan R. Mentions how bad REM Rembrandt was for the. Was this guy really good at his job category. Tagging the gravestone. Very simple. See a lot of.

[Craig Horbeck]

Sure.

[Bill Simmons]

A lot of stuff about like, Rembrandt. This was like your one job in the gang and you just did like very mediocre graffiti. And once Rembrandt to be added to Vincent Chase, I don't think we need to do that. I'm gonna watch the warriors again though, and really look at the graffiti this

[Craig Horbeck]

kind of gets into. Like, was Creasy the best getaway driver or the only available getaway driver? You know what I mean? Like, there's. There's some guys that you're like, they've really built up this dude's role for the entire thing and then it just doesn't work out.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm gonna skip ahead to the. The last couple here. Oh, Dave H. Wants an AI platform where Craig could be like, I wanna watch Zodiac at 97 minutes. And AI just cuts it. It's the Craig Crawlback AI time management machine.

[Craig Horbeck]

Well, this is the thing is that like, we need to bring back this movie.

[Chris Ryan]

Was edited by Claude terrestrial cable where

[Craig Horbeck]

Craig is cutting like epic to make it. So chopping it so we can watch nick's Hornets at 5pm Ben and I

[Bill Simmons]

watched Almost Famous twice in the last week, but we watched the bootleg cut the second time, which has like 35 minutes of additional scenes. And I was telling him, this one's not in the movie. And then we were deciding after the scene whether they should have kept it in the actual cut or not.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Had a great time.

[Craig Horbeck]

That's awesome.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, there was a couple good scenes where we're like, eh, so Almost Famous. I would say there's probably three scenes that they could have added. So in that case maybe like eight minutes longer.

[Chris Ryan]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

And I don't think I would cut anything. Robert V. Wants us to add the Coglin's Law Award for best random rule or law in the movie from Cocktail. He points out, we had so much fun with the laws in that movie. That was a really fun pod. And should we just squeeze him in? Should that be Life Lesson? I'm willing to test drive this one.

[Craig Horbeck]

Sure.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Maybe it could be Life Lesson or Coglin's Law. I'd have to reread the Cognizant.

[Craig Horbeck]

We have Life Lesson at the end of the.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, yeah. So maybe the movie that's.

[Craig Horbeck]

That works.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm okay. With that, Oliver from Melbourne, Australia wants the yellow. The Al Pacino Yellow Handkerchief award for the most what? The moment in the movie. I'll put that in Flex.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And then kind of a dark email from Eddie from Philly. Uh oh, he's. He was listening to Zodiac and he said there's this huge New Yorker article last year which explored a theory why serial killers basically vanished after the 80s. We talked about this.

[Craig Horbeck]

Why whatever.

[Chris Ryan]

DNA and Turkoglass. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

He said baby boomers at Gen X being exposed to leaded gasoline was the sliding doors moment to power a large portion of Netflix's business is the theory.

[Craig Horbeck]

What does that mean?

[Bill Simmons]

The smell of gas made people like want to kill people.

[Craig Horbeck]

That's his theory.

[Bill Simmons]

That was this article. That's lead poisoning. Create a generation of serial killers in the 70s.

[Chris Ryan]

Do you think Netflix needs serial killers to come back?

[Bill Simmons]

Netflix is now doctoring the gas to make it more leaded again. Josh Aubrey, we're coming to the end here. Just one of the guys, he said the doc. The Joyce hauser was almost Dr. Melfi bombshell and the just one of the guys should be used in the future for half ass Internet research as like the hammer.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

He said this to me was the equivalent of finding out Judd Nelson was almost Walter White.

[Craig Horbeck]

You know, why don't we do this instead of. Because half ass Internet research we generally cannibalize like at the beginning of the pod anyway. Like people can't. Can't help but be like, did you know this happened and this happened. But you got to save one hammer. You got to save one for the like the most fascinating piece of half assed Internet research.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Maybe it'll build. I think that's a better way to do it. Michael Hughes in London wants us to have the poly from Rocky word for the character who would host the most terrifying podcast or YouTube channel. That made me think of other podcast YouTube channels like Big Nick and Den of Thieves.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah. Could we.

[Bill Simmons]

Could we do that?

[Craig Horbeck]

Thieves would just be like talking LA high school football. Sure. It's like another great season from Poly.

[Chris Ryan]

Wayne Grow would have an interesting YouTube channel.

[Craig Horbeck]

Wayne Gro would be awful.

[Bill Simmons]

Andrew points out that the Mark Colton Hayetz and Rico Palazzo award for best performance with one line should actually be the Estelle Reiner. I'll have what she's having. Nice shout out to Rob Reiner.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And that's probably a more famous line.

[Chris Ryan]

Definitely.

[Craig Horbeck]

So I'll have what you said. That's a good one. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Duncan Woodward in Washington, he said as someone who Goes on Zillow constantly. To appreciate real estate I will never be able to afford, I often find myself appreciating beautiful homes and movies. We do this with the Amanda Dobbins category. I've researched properties from movies, find out how much they last sold. For some examples, I researched the Graham family home in Hereditary, Jason Bourne's Paris apartment where we got ambushed, and the house and Lethal Weapon owned by the South Africans. I would like to propose the Fausto Alicorn Mansion award for piece of real estate you'd want to own the most, and then you guys could guess the price and do that. If we want to put Fausto in the categories, Ben from Connecticut wanted us to do the Stuart Scott award for line from the movie most likely to be used during a 90s sports center highlight. Oh, yeah, Like Wolf of Wall Street. I'm not leaving. Yeah, Stu Scott's just doing that. All right, Dave P. Wants to know Cruise or Hanks, if you could pick one Tom Cruise movie to sub Hanks in for the Cruise part and vice versa. What are the two movies? And he wants to see Cruise and Castaway. Cruising. Castaway would be pretty amazing.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah. The physicality. Cruise would really lean into and do a good job.

[Bill Simmons]

Him trying to light the fire.

[Chris Ryan]

It's harder to go the other way.

[Bill Simmons]

Hanks going into a Cruise part. What about Hanks and Eyes Wide Shut?

[Craig Horbeck]

I could see that would be weird. That'd be a tough one. I could see Hanks doing because there was like a. I could see there's sort of a young bad boy era for Hanks when he's doing like punchline. I could see him doing Bachelor Party.

[Bill Simmons]

Hanks.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah, like Rain Man.

[Chris Ryan]

That's what I was going to say.

[Bill Simmons]

Rain man being Hanks as Charlie Babbitt.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, that's pretty good.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

So Hanks as Charlie Babbitt and then Cruising.

[Chris Ryan]

Castaway.

[Bill Simmons]

Cruising. Another Hanks movie. That would be funny for Cruise. Saving Private Ryan would be hilarious.

[Craig Horbeck]

I think Cruising Big would be funny.

[Chris Ryan]

The worst version of it would be Cruz's Forrest Gump

[Craig Horbeck]

because of the running.

[Bill Simmons]

Especially Cruise and Forrest Gump are big. Oh, Cruise and Forrest Gump. He's probably furious.

[Chris Ryan]

We might need to embrace AI Just so they could make a version of

[Craig Horbeck]

Forest Gump coming on the Craig Horbeck Network. Claude, an 80 minute version of Zodiac and an AI cruise in Castellan.

[Bill Simmons]

Why can't Craig be the new clock just called Craig? Yeah, it's just his AI thing.

[Chris Ryan]

You got AI in my name, you know.

[Craig Horbeck]

But it would be good if you could also just be like. If Sometimes you're like, that's a good question. I don't know.

[Chris Ryan]

I'm busy.

[Craig Horbeck]

I'm watching Zodiac.

[Chris Ryan]

I'm trying to trim an hour out of Zodiac right now. It's really hard.

[Bill Simmons]

Jack F. Loves the rewatchables mailbags, so he's got to be excited. He's in this one. He has a category idea. The little Kittener boy getting eaten by a shark award for the scene that gets glossed over until the viewer realizes, holy, a little boy was eaten by a shark. Eddie has Dr. Loomis mistaking Ben Tramer for Michael Myers All Time and a bunch of others.

[Craig Horbeck]

We just talked about something like this. To Live and Die in la. One where it's like a guy explodes in the same building that, that Ronald Reagan is giving a speech at. And then the next scene is like.

[Bill Simmons]

Like they glossed.

[Craig Horbeck]

They don't even reference it.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I'm gonna put that in the.

[Craig Horbeck]

There was an assassination attempt on the president. Then they're like, yeah, let's get some beers.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, we always have to end mailbags either here on my podcast with the goofiest question possible. This comes from Chris. A. Good morning. I did not know there would be a rewatchables mailbag where you'd consider new awards. If there's still a chance, I would like to propose one. The Peter North Award for the performance of an actor that was their most effort filled one in their career. A performance that they shot their most load in, if you will. Thank you for listening and have a great new year.

[Chris Ryan]

So it's not best role. It's most effort trying the hardest.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like they shot their biggest wad. I gotta say, it's pretty good. The Peter North Award.

[Craig Horbeck]

It's good. I'm trying to think of like the. The way you challenge it.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like Casey Affleck in Manchester by the Sea.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah. Daniel Day Lewis and My Left Foot.

[Bill Simmons]

But I would say he's. He's Peter north in every movie.

[Craig Horbeck]

He's Pete. He's beating all the time. Peter north and Lincoln. Y. He's Peter north in Lincoln.

[Bill Simmons]

I feel like Ben Affleck and Chasing Amy was a Peter north movie for him. He really, really went for it. It's really. For the movies where the guy really, really goes for it.

[Chris Ryan]

Or the actors going method almost Michael Douglas.

[Craig Horbeck]

It's like Basic Instinct kind of. Yeah. Well, no, but it's kind of.

[Bill Simmons]

No, like Cruising Cocktails. Another one. It's almost like they're throwing Everything they have into a part that's not even that great.

[Craig Horbeck]

I like that.

[Bill Simmons]

You know what I mean?

[Craig Horbeck]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like, ah, they had to go full Peter north there.

[Chris Ryan]

Like Pacino, son of a woman.

[Bill Simmons]

Right. Or it's really Pacino and two for the money.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

But I don't know. There's something there with the Peter North.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah. It's a try hard award.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah, you're.

[Chris Ryan]

You're pushing too hard.

[Bill Simmons]

Apparently he has an autobiography coming up.

[Craig Horbeck]

Peter North.

[Bill Simmons]

Peter North. Yeah.

[Craig Horbeck]

Were you.

[Bill Simmons]

I read it to see if he was still alive. And he is.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Craig Horbeck]

What else did you Google?

[Bill Simmons]

We had a friend of mine in the 90s kind of looked like Peter north and it was a running joke for the entire 90s. Our friend Mike.

[Chris Ryan]

What. What piece of real estate.

[Bill Simmons]

Does Craig know who Peter north is? I don't.

[Chris Ryan]

I was just kind of hoping nobody would ask.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Famous 80s 90s porn actor.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Known for his prodigious.

[Craig Horbeck]

He left fields. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

What does that mean? He was getting acrobatic with it.

[Craig Horbeck]

One of those things where it was

[Bill Simmons]

going a lot of volume, volume, shooter.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, it was volume. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Volume, shooter, distance. It's just everything.

[Craig Horbeck]

What's with the followups? Can't you just

[Chris Ryan]

wait?

[Bill Simmons]

Wait.

[Craig Horbeck]

So like.

[Bill Simmons]

So it's sperm. Are we talking sperm. Now? We have to wear Peter North.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yep. This is our podcast.

[Bill Simmons]

I think my Peter north award was the 21st century 50 most rewatchable movies pod. Yeah, that was my Peter Bill.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

That was you shooting across the room.

[Bill Simmons]

What was for Van. What was Van's rewatchables?

[Chris Ryan]

I think when Van said that he wanted. He would have slept with the woman from Species.

[Craig Horbeck]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

And then he could convince her that it's a good idea and that his.

[Craig Horbeck]

That he's pure.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah. He's like, hey, they hate my people too. Like, yeah. Together we will take over.

[Bill Simmons]

That was a great one. All right, we're done with the rewatchables. Mail back. Thanks to everybody who sent questions. And they're really good. We'll try to do this every three or four months. CR Month, just rolling banger.

[Chris Ryan]

Nice guys coming next. Yeah.

[Craig Horbeck]

Monday and then LA Confidential to wrap it up.

[Bill Simmons]

No, Nice Guys will have already happened by the time people hear this.

[Chris Ryan]

No, because.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, Nice Guys won't have happened.

[Chris Ryan]

Live and Die in LA will have been out.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Mailbag then. Nice guys, nice guys, L.A. confidential, L.A. confidential. For our first four person we watchable.

[Chris Ryan]

And then what are you gonna do? Are you gonna take some time off it's up to.

[Craig Horbeck]

Up to chief here, you know, he gets to decide.

[Bill Simmons]

People were like, cr, finally some good movies because CR was in charge. It's like we've been talking about doing these movies. Don't give CR too much fun.

[Chris Ryan]

What's the least CR movie we could do right after CR month?

[Craig Horbeck]

I can say multitudes. What would you pick? You'd probably do like.

[Bill Simmons]

You can come and go with rom coms.

[Chris Ryan]

Toy Story.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah. Anything animated. You might as well put me on the bench.

[Chris Ryan]

Cars three.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

That's when I go away for three months. We just do all animated and like Harry Potter movies. I'm just gone.

[Chris Ryan]

Do you like any animated film does

[Bill Simmons]

better than without me?

[Craig Horbeck]

Fuck you guys.

[Bill Simmons]

Spotify is like, maybe we can replace Bill. Maybe we don't need him anymore.

[Craig Horbeck]

Craig.

[Chris Ryan]

AI, do you like any animated movie?

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah, I do. It's partially a bit. But I don't actually actively seek them out.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I've honestly never really fully understood it. I went through a phase that all people do. You'll go through it soon. When you take your kids when they're like. It's really fun to take the kids to the first one when they're like three and then it's like three to nine, you just start going to them and.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

So you're not a big Toy Story guy or anything. Incredibles, Finding Nemo.

[Bill Simmons]

None of that. I'm not. I like the. The one sad Toy Story I thought was good.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, three.

[Bill Simmons]

Three's good.

[Chris Ryan]

When they all about to die in the fire.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, three's a good.

[Chris Ryan]

That one's sad.

[Bill Simmons]

I also thought Lion King was really good. The.

[Craig Horbeck]

Which one? The.

[Bill Simmons]

The.

[Craig Horbeck]

Not the.

[Bill Simmons]

The 94 one. John.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, it's amazing.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, that was good.

[Chris Ryan]

The music are really good.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, yeah. Good date. Like good date.

[Craig Horbeck]

Lion King was a good date movie.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Zootopia 2 was good.

[Bill Simmons]

I believe Utopia 2 is really, really good.

[Chris Ryan]

Like great.

[Bill Simmons]

I didn't like when animated movies started to be like way deeper. Like basically they started catering toward the parents and to.

[Craig Horbeck]

So all the jokes and stuff for like.

[Bill Simmons]

Like later put stuff in there to keep the parents.

[Chris Ryan]

You don't like that.

[Bill Simmons]

I just think they should be for kids. But what do I know? Maybe they've always been that way.

[Chris Ryan]

Utopia too has a lot of movie. There's Godfather references in Zootopia 2. It's funny.

[Bill Simmons]

The ones that I grew up with. Like weird shit happened.

[Craig Horbeck]

Like what? Like the Ralph Bakshi movies and stuff.

[Bill Simmons]

Like Bambi.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh. I mean all those early Disney Movies. There's a huge tragedy to start the film, and Nemo, the mom, gets eaten by a barracuda to start the movie. And up the wife dies. There's always something like that.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, the one that we get, and it's a Mallory favorite, I think it's Hugo. It's the one that foresees the future with AI and all this shit going on in it that people.

[Chris Ryan]

Isn't that Scorsi?

[Craig Horbeck]

No. I mean, he made a movie called Hugo. I don't.

[Bill Simmons]

Or is that what you're talking about, or. No, it's one of those movies and it's big on AI. Mallory's always wanted to do it.

[Craig Horbeck]

I thought it was Hugo, not Wally.

[Bill Simmons]

No, Wally.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, Wally, sure.

[Bill Simmons]

Why did I think Hugo?

[Craig Horbeck]

Wally is like, it in. It's like the Apple Vision Pro is in Wally.

[Bill Simmons]

Wally. Wally's the one.

[Chris Ryan]

We're all just like fat robots stuck to our chairs watching screens and ordering.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. I think Wally is like an age the best and the worst. Yeah. Now that people might be able to.

[Craig Horbeck]

Yeah. Mal just picked Wally on a draft we were on and she was getting emotional about it.

[Bill Simmons]

I let Mal and Joanna down because they asked me to be on the space draft. And I said I don't really like space movies. And Mallory was upset.

[Chris Ryan]

You don't like space movies?

[Bill Simmons]

They kind of freak me out. I don't really like outer space.

[Chris Ryan]

What's the best space movie for you?

[Bill Simmons]

I've seen all of them at least once. I like when it's Martian. I like when people can come home. But I don't like, like, gravity. I don't know what's up there. Gravity is really good.

[Craig Horbeck]

I mean, I think aliens, my Alien and Interstellar and 2001 kind of breaks

[Bill Simmons]

my brain when I think about it too much. I'd much rather worry about, like, Shay Gilgeous Alexander's foul baiting than worrying what's

[Chris Ryan]

going on in Saturn, what's on Earth.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, we worried about what's here. All right. Thanks, cr.

[Craig Horbeck]

Thanks, man.

[Bill Simmons]

Thanks, Craig. Thanks to Gahao and Eduardo as well. And we'll be back Monday with nice guys on Monday. All right, cool. Toogood and Co Coffee creamers are made with farm fresh cream, real milk and contain 3 grams of sugar per serving. That's 40% less than the 5 grams per serving in leading traditional coffee creamers for a rich, delicious experience. Whether you enjoy your coffee hot, cold, bold or frothy, two good coffee creamers make every sip a good one. Two good coffee creamers.

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[Bill Simmons]

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[Craig Horbeck]

There's a world where legends race across city skylines.

[Chris Ryan]

Romance blossom in glittering ballrooms. And there's magic around every corner. It's a world known to many as Great Britain.

[Craig Horbeck]

You've seen the action on screen.

[Chris Ryan]

Now visit the real star of the show. Visit Great Britain. To discover more, go to tripadvisor.com Great Britain.