‘Airplane!’ With Bill Simmons and Bill Hader

Summary

The Rewatchables: ‘Airplane!’ – With Bill Simmons and Bill Hader

Air Date: September 23, 2025
Host: Bill Simmons
Guest: Bill Hader

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Bill Simmons welcomes comedic actor/writer Bill Hader for a comprehensive, hilarious, and affectionate dissection of the 1980 disaster parody, Airplane!. The duo revisits the film’s groundbreaking comedic style, enduring legacy, and personal significance for generations of comedy lovers and filmmakers. Drawing from the recent oral history released on Airplane! and their own career experiences, Simmons and Hader dive deep into what makes the film an all-time great, exploring everything from casting secrets to joke construction, pop culture impact, and how it shaped both their creative lives.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Ubiquity and Timelessness of Airplane!

[01:50 – 03:10]

• Hader describes Airplane! as a “formidable movie” that’s always been part of his life, similar to Star Wars or Indiana Jones:

  “I can't remember a time when that movie wasn't in my life. ... It was just always there because it was on cable for 30 straight years.” – Bill Hader [02:07]

• Both discuss how syndication on channels like TBS and WGN made the movie part of the cultural lexicon.
• Simmons likens the film’s impact to Star Wars for comedy:

  “Airplane was sort of the Star Wars of comedy. ... It was a big deal.” – Bill Simmons quoting Matt & Trey [15:08]

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The “Secret Sauce”: Casting Serious Actors for Maximum Comedy

[03:43 – 13:28]

• The pair marvel at how the Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker team cast dramatic actors (Leslie Nielsen, Robert Stack, Peter Graves) to play everything utterly straight, which revolutionized movie comedy:

  “Them playing it straight and actually having the real people instead of comedians... It was like a hallucination...” – Bill Hader [05:19]

• Simmons notes how this formula is now common but was radical in 1980.
• Hader draws a comparison to Saturday Night Live hosts who surprise by being funnier than expected, e.g. Brian Williams and Jon Hamm.

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The Joke Density & Construction: “Smart Dumb” Comedy

[07:16 – 15:38]

• Airplane! is lauded for its relentless barrage of gags (“high-volume joke movie”), but also for elaborate setups with satisfying payoffs.
• Hader details the “edge” missing from most modern films:

  “Other, more famous comedies... wouldn’t do it for you because there wasn’t this kind of edge to it.” [03:43]

• Both commend the film’s ability to be “dumb but smart,” a rare and difficult balance.
• Hader observes how personal comedic taste and intuition drove the filmmakers, making the laughs feel genuine and not engineered for an imagined audience.

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The Communal Theatrical Experience of Big Comedy

[09:17 – 10:31]

• Both reminisce about seeing films like Naked Gun and There’s Something About Mary in packed theaters, where collective laughter adds to the joy—an experience rarely possible today.

  “You kind of remember when the whole theater is dying laughing at the same time. It’s such a unique experience.” – Bill Simmons [09:52]

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Influence and Legacy on Generations of Comedy

[15:08 – 20:10]

• Quotes from contemporary comedy giants (Judd Apatow, Patton Oswalt, Keenan Ivory Wayans) emphasize Airplane!’s role as a template and game-changer.
• Hader:

  “There are before and after Airplane moments in comedy.” [15:38]

• The hosts highlight how Airplane! inspired TV’s deadpan absurdism (e.g. Letterman, South Park) and shaped the comedic voice of later decades.

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Origins and Movie Parody DNA

[20:10 – 24:33]

• Discussion of how Airplane! is a direct parody of the 1957 film Zero Hour! and disaster movies like the Airport series and The Poseidon Adventure.
• Hader adds context about how his father and uncles, who watched the original disaster films, appreciated the extra layer of satire.

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1980: The Legendary Comedy Summer

[27:09 – 30:41]

• Deep-dive into the unprecedented comedy one-two-three of Blues Brothers, Airplane!, and Caddyshack in summer 1980.
• They compare it to comedy hot streaks across the decades (Apatow era, Sandler/Farley years) and conclude that nothing rivals the intensity of that summer.

  “Airplane is the one I keep going back to because it’s just so unique.” – Bill Hader [28:52]

• Hader’s favorite Caddyshack performance? Ted Knight’s dead-serious Judge Smails.

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Lineage of Everyday Quotes and Daily Life

[31:02 – 33:43]

• Both admit the film’s dialogue permeates their lives (“Good luck, we’re all counting on you”; “Surely, you can’t be serious”).
• Family anecdotes about how whole scenes became shorthand for real-life situations.

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On Scene Construction & Notable Moments

[36:42 – 46:17]

• The hosts run through their candidates for “most rewatchable scene”:
  • “Red zone/white zone” airport announcements
  • Jive-talking passenger interaction with June Cleaver:

    “You don’t expect that bit to take that turn... Leave it To Beaver’s mom’s gonna show up and be like, I speak jive” – Bill Hader [36:42]

  • Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's famous cockpit cameo
  • The infamous autopilot “inflatable pilot” sequence
  • The airplane landing and "We're all counting on you"
  • Ted’s flashbacks and the disco dance showdown
• Strong praise for Steven Stucker, the scene-stealing air traffic controller.

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What’s Aged the Best & Worst

[49:10 – 56:03]

• “Aged best”:
  • Casting straight actors
  • Joke density and wordplay
  • Leslie Nielsen’s comedic legacy
  • The running gags, e.g., “whacking material” on the newsstand, “Shirley, you can’t be serious,” and the extended puns.
  • The unorthodox crowd-sourced writing in scenes like the Jive translations.
• “Aged worst”:
  • A few jokes and bits (“basketball in Africa” scene, cocaine gags, nudity, occasional racial humor) are called out as very 1980s—and would make modern viewers uncomfortable.
  • The second harsh slap Leslie Nielsen gives a panicking passenger elicits a “still shocking” reaction.

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Behind the Scenes: Casting What-Ifs and Production

[61:04 – 66:49]

• Ted Stryker was almost played by David Letterman, Barry Manilow, Bruce Jenner, Tim Matheson, and Fred Willard.

  “You can go on YouTube and they show his [Letterman’s] audition... you can see the what if.” – Bill Hader [61:54]

• Elaine was nearly Sigourney Weaver or Shelley Long.
• Peter Graves (Capt. Oveur) initially found the script tasteless and had to be persuaded to join.
• Leslie Nielsen’s Dr. Rumack could have been Dom DeLuise, Christopher Lee, or Vincent Price.
• Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s role was initially written for Pete Rose.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the straight-faced casting and joke delivery:
  “If you cut back to that girl going, ‘well, that's weird, he has a stethoscope’, it kills the whole thing... Just keep moving. That's one of the things that screwed up comedy, you know?” — Bill Hader [17:52]

• On persistent rewatchability:
  “It's like it's its own thing that you can't… describe. I don't really know what else you can really compare it to.” — Bill Hader [51:48]

• On comedy in the theatrical experience:
  “The baseball scene [in Naked Gun] almost caused a riot. People fucking lost their minds.” — Bill Simmons [09:17]

• On Airplane’s “secret sauce”:
  “The views in the non-comic actors, which now we've been doing for 45 years. But back then nobody thought that way.” — Bill Simmons [11:39]

• Personal favorite lines:
  “Stop calling me Shirley,” “Good luck, we’re all counting on you,” and the infamous “like my coffee black, like my men.”

• On joke density and editing:
  “We never say this on The Rewatchables. ... This movie’s like five minutes too short.” — Bill Simmons [54:02]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Timestamp | Segment / Topic | |---|---| | 01:38 | Hader’s immediate attachment to Airplane! | | 03:43 | The genius of casting straight actors | | 05:51 | Only “comic” actor in cast—Jimmy Walker | | 09:17 | Comedy in the theater—Naked Gun, Airplane! resonance | | 15:08 | Influential voices on Airplane! (Trey & Matt, Apatow, Patton Oswalt) | | 20:10 | The Zero Hour! connection and disaster movie lineage | | 27:09 | 1980: A legendary summer for movie comedies | | 31:02 | Lines/quotes that became part of daily culture | | 36:42 | Most rewatchable scenes—airport, jive talk, autopilot, Kareem | | 49:10 | What’s aged the best | | 56:09 | What’s aged the worst (casting deal regrets, iffy jokes) | | 61:04 | Casting What-Ifs—Letterman, Sigourney Weaver, etc. | | 70:00 | SNL stories: Hader’s experiences doing impressions | | 83:41 | "Picking nits" – plot logic discussion | | 92:01 | Who won the movie? Leslie Nielsen, Steven Stucker? | | 93:05 | Producer Craig joins for generational perspective | | 97:20 | Low budget look, and the magic of just “wanting more” in comedy |

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Additional Insights

• Bill Hader’s favorite performance in Airplane!: Lloyd Bridges’ descent into madness in Air Traffic Control:

  “He starts off like he's really got it together... and then he just, by the end of it, he's hanging, is upside down, snorting glue and stuff. That'd be really fun.” [82:05]

• Legacy discussion: The Airplane/Naked Gun style led to a new kind of “hard joke” TV (South Park, Veep, Tim Robinson), but Simmons and Hader worry about whether ensemble theatrical comedy will “come back.”
• Family and generational continuity: Both share how the film’s jokes still crush with their own kids and families—even as some gags are met with a modern “that didn’t age well!”

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Summary: Why Airplane! Still Matters

Airplane! is not just endlessly rewatchable; Simmons and Hader make the case that it’s a once-in-cinema achievement—a film whose “smart-dumb” humor, casting genius, and irreverent innovation changed the DNA of screen comedy. Beyond the now-iconic bits, it’s a masterclass in trusting the audience, playing it deadpan, and making comedy that lasts for generations—not just because of nostalgia, but because the craft, instinct, and fun behind it never age.

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Final Take

“There’s a before and after Airplane in movie comedy.” — Bill Hader [15:38]

“For me, Airplane is the one nothing against those other movies, but Airplane is one I keep going back to because it’s just so unique.” — Bill Hader [28:52]

“Comedy doesn’t get more rewatchable—or more influential—than this.” — Bill Simmons [Conclusion]

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For Further Listening

• Archive episodes on Naked Gun, Caddyshack, Blues Brothers, and more on The Rewatchables page at The Ringer.

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Transcript

[Bill Simmons]

This episode is brought to you by Warner Brothers Pictures. One Battle After Another is coming to theaters September 26th. Don't miss Legendary writer, director and producer my guy, Paul Thomas Anderson teaming up with Leo DiCaprio for the first time ever. Pretty exciting. They almost teamed together in Boogie Nights, actually, alongside award winning actors like Sean Penn, Teyana Taylor, and Benicio Del Toro in this hilarious action packed adventure following Bob Ferguson, an ex revolutionary, on a mission to find his missing daughter and overcome the consequences of his past. One Battle after another. Only in theaters September 26th. Get tickets now. Rated R under 17 not admitted without parent. This episode is brought to you by Paramount. Sylvester Stallone is back as the ultimate kingpin, Dwight Manfredi in the original hit series Tulsa King, now streaming exclusively on Paramount. Plus, this season, as Dwight's kingdom expands, his enemies close in. Now he faces his most dangerous adversaries in Tulsa yet, forcing him to fight to protect his empire. Watch the new season of Tulsa King, now streaming exclusively on Paramount. Learn [e-mail] all right, the man, the myth, the legend, Bill Hader is here. We haven't done this since COVID It's. It's been almost a half decade drought for you in the rewatchables.

[Bill Hader]

That's true. That's very true. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

But you're back and I asked you, let's do a movie. I sent you a bunch of titles and you saw Airplane and you were out of your mind, excited to discuss it.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, yeah, I've talked about Airplane and others. I'm, I'm in that book that came out about Airplane. But that is such a formidable movie for me, you know, so. Yeah, it was. Yeah, that was. That was the one that my eyes immediately went to. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

So you didn't see it when it came out, did you? You saw it after Bravo.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, no, that movie came out when I was like 2 years old or something. But I can't remember a time when that movie wasn't in my life. You know, it's like, you know, whatever, like Star wars or Indiana Jones or something like that. It was just always. I don't know if I can, like, remember the exact moment when I saw it. It was just always there because it.

[Bill Simmons]

Was on cable for 30 straight years.

[Bill Hader]

And then it was also like on TBS and WGN and where I grew up in, in Oklahoma. Like, we got those channels and so it was like edited for those. And so I, I mean, it was just constantly on television and I'd watch it every time I was on. And still to this Day, I just showed it to my girlfriend. Allie. Hadn't seen it since she was a kid. She said. And we watched. I was like, oh, we gotta watch Airplane. Yeah, we watched it. And I'm still. I know every word to it, and I'm still, like, dying, laughing, you know, just watching. Her reaction to it was really fun.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, it's funny reading the book. The book came out, I think, two years ago, and it's like a mix of an oral history, but there's a lot of people like you in there. Because I saw this movie in the theater. I think I was 10, the summer 1980, and just immediately was like, this is. I can't believe this happened. And then it was in my life, like, either. Like, for the next 45 years. And I always felt like it was one of the great movies, like the great comedies, influential, the whole thing. But I didn't know. I didn't know how many other people felt that way. And then you see that book, and it's like a who's who of all these people. Like, yeah, that was the moment.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, that was the movie that, like, you go, oh, that's how you do it. You know, there was certain films like that for me, like Spinal Tap or Monty Python, the Holy Grail or Life of Brian. You know, these things where you went, oh, or. Or those, you know, Young Frankenstein and Blazing Saddles. And then the early kind of Woody Allen movies, like Love and Death and some of those things, they were always. They were just kind of like, oh, that's how you're supposed to do comedy. And then you would see other, whatever, more famous comedies, and they wouldn't do it for you because there wasn't this kind of edge to it. Yeah, but Airplane is different because I don't know if you could do. Because my friend Akiva just did that Naked Gun movie, which was really fun. And. But the thing is, with this movie Airplane, which is so hard to replicate, is that everybody, whether it's Saturday Night Live or just whatever, all these people do a funny version of themselves. You know, Airplane. I remember my dad telling me, he's like, if you. That movie's funny, but if you grew up watching, like, Sea Hunt and watching with Lloyd Bridges or those movies, you know, Forbidden Planet or Poseidon Adventure that had Leslie Nielsen in it. Like, all these movies where they were always the straight guy.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

Robert Stack watching the Untouchables as a kid and being like, I'd never seen them be funny. I only knew them as that specific kind of character, which isn't even like around anymore. Those very super serious.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

Things. And, and them playing it straight and actually having the real people instead of comedians. He was like, it was, you know. Yeah, it was, it, it wasn't. It was like a hallucination or something. It was like, wait, you're allowed to do that? Like, it was, it was great.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, they cracked a secret sauce, right? Because if you think you're doing a movie like this, you're going to have Harvey Corman as in the Wesley Nielsen role, and he's going to be hamming up. You have Chevy Chase in the Robert Hayes role and they're trying to be.

[Bill Hader]

Funny somewhere in there. The only comedic actor I think in the whole movie is Jimmy Walker. And he doesn't have any lines.

[Bill Simmons]

He text. Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Hader]

He just, he's a guy, he's a gag in the background, you know, But I mean, Peter Graves, I mean that, that thing of him talking to little kid in the cockpit is one of the funniest things ever. And it's so disturbing and funny when you watch it now where he's like, you like movies? Gladiators. I mean, I don't know a time in my life where my friends and I weren't quoting that. You know, you ever hang around the gymnasium? Like any time we would go into the gym in elementary school, you go, you ever hang around the gymnasium? Just so weird. And, and also a comedy too, that those is like, you know, Zucker Brothers and Jim Abrams and you could just tell these guys like grew up in Milwaukee and they're just following their intuition because there's some of it, it's like not like jokes like when we, you know, you work at SNL or something where it has to kind of have some sort of meaning or. Yeah, just, you could tell they were just watching Zero Hour, that movie and then just like riffing on it and just being stupid and making themselves laugh and they just trusted their instincts to be like, well, if we find this funny, we'll just go for it, you know?

[Bill Simmons]

Well, it's funny. There's. There's two things going on at the same time. One, it's like a high volume joke movie, right? They're just getting off stuff left and right and sometimes you don't even catch it right away.

[Bill Hader]

Right?

[Bill Simmons]

So it's like they're almost like firing a bunch of threes in an NBA game. But then on the other side there are these long, well constructed minute long where nothing seems to happen, but it's all leading to some joke. They want to get to, like, hold. Like, hold five and keep paying. What is it? The ham on the mayo. Whatever that one is.

[Bill Hader]

Ham on the mayo.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he said it. They set it up for, like, 35 seconds and they're like, what are they doing? And then it's like, oh, that's why they did that. And they have a million of those.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, it's this whole long lead up to. Yeah. And I. And so I had seen this movie first, and then I saw Naked Gun, the original when it came out. Yeah, that came out when I was 10. And I saw that in the theater. And I remember that was like, you know, I'd never. I. To this day, I've never experienced a theater, a comedy theater experience like that. Like, people were genuinely losing their minds. Like, the whole baseball sequence at the end of that movie, people were going, when he sang the national anthem, and then when he gets stoked on saying strike and he starts dancing as the ump. Do you remember, like.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Hader]

People, like, lost their minds. I mean, like, literally, like, people jumping up out of their seat and going crazy. And, like, you always hear, like, people falling in the aisles. Like, people were genuinely falling all over the place. And I had never seen anything like that. So I was a big fan of theirs. And then I went back and saw a Kentucky fright movie. And I remember brought that to a sleepover when I was in fourth grade. And the mom.

[Bill Simmons]

Some nudity.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. Catholic high school girls in trouble. They're like, whoa, what's this? And I was like, I haven't seen it yet. I haven't seen it. Says it's the guys who made Airplane and the director of Animal House. And they're like, what is this? You know? But, yeah, this. That style is so bad. They just kind of made up their own thing.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, it's funny you mentioned that theater thing because we did Naked Gun a couple years ago and I told the story about seeing that in the theater. And the baseball scene, like, almost caused a riot. It was so funny. People fucking lost their minds. I only remember two comedies because the other one was There's Something About Mary. Oh, yeah, there's two comedies. And then the closing credits and the Hangover was the other one. People were just like, could not believe what was happening and just laughing their asses off. But for the most part, you kind of remember when the whole theater is dying laughing at the same time. It's such a unique experience.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, it's such a. It's a wonderful experience. And, yeah, you miss it. And that's what was nice. Going to see the new one with Liam Neeson that did. Because I was like, oh my God, I'm in a theater and everybody's laughing. I haven't. They don't make comedies really anymore. So it was kind of awesome just to have that experience where you're like, I mean, you can go to the theater and get scared, you know, but you can't really go to the theater and like laugh as much like that anymore. And I was telling my, you know, my kids, I was like, o, we're gonna watch the original one. And yeah, that baseball scene, you guys have no idea. From beginning to end, the place was going nuts.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, especially using every real announcers.

[Bill Hader]

Oh yeah, every joke killed. I remember I went when I, I had to go to it when I got Barry, the head of HBO was like, you gotta look like you were once in the military, so you gotta go to the gym because you don't look like you're in the military. So I went to this gym in la, the small gym. And Dave, David Zucker was there. And so that's how I met him. And I was like, you know, over there going like, oh my God, that's David Zucker. Holy shit. You know, and he was so nice and I, I mean, he answered all my questions where I was like, how'd you guys get, you know, all these people to do it? What was it like with the announcers? What was, you know. Yeah, and then, and then airplane too. And then I once had lunch with Jerry Zucker and they're so open about like, oh yeah, Robert Stack totally got it. And like he loved it and just was totally on board. Lloyd Bridges, a little bit confused, you know, Peter Graves, like, wait, what'd you guys get me into? And then like Leslie Nielsen like immediately got it and was like a pro, you know, and it was just, it was just really cool getting.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, this, the secret sauce of this is the views in the non comic actors, which now we've been doing that for 45 years. But back then nobody thought that way.

[Bill Hader]

One of the SNL episodes that I was a part of that was like one of the hottest episodes ever was when it was Brian Williams because he, they had only seen him, you know, do the news.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

So seeing Brian Williams, I remember he was on a Bronx Beat, that sketch with Maya and Amy and he was just like, hey, how you doing? And like the place was going crazy because they had no, they had never seen him. They were like, I didn't know you could do that or like, when Jon Hamm first hosted. I don't think anybody knew that John was funny. They only knew him as, like, Don Draper. Remember that episode when he came out and was being funny? The place was like. Like, they just went crazy.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, the Rock was like that, too, where we had just seen him as a wrestler, but nobody realized that he actually was funny.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, he's very funny. Yeah, he's very funny. And, like, has great timing and. And, like, yeah, all those guys could do that. And. But even like that, Leslie Nielsen knew. Like, they just. That's why I asked those guys. I was like, did they know how to play that? You know? And they're like, yeah, Leslie Nielsen. Like, we didn't have to tell him anything. Like, when he has the stethoscope on and he's like, yes, I'm a doctor. Like, he knew not to, like, be weird or, like, yeah, like, he just. The stethoscope and him being straight was what the joke was, you know, and that. It's.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, that's. That's why these movies have had trouble, because people have been trying to do this format ever since. And there's. This is the one that played it straight, the best. And I always feel like the silliness kind of seeped in over the next 45 years when people did this.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, well, that's like this insecurity thing of, like, oh, God, will people know? Or if we're joking or not? Or. I don't know if that's just. Yeah. I don't know what it. I mean, that was a thing I remember early on, like, 20 years ago when, you know, you go, would. I got the snl, and I would go on these meetings with people about silly movies. And there was like. I remember people were like, there's smart. Someone told me, there's smart. It's easy to do a smart comedy. Like, you know, at the time, like, Knocked Up.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

A dumb comedy. Or like, at the time it was. Hot Rod was with the guy because I was in that movie, and he was like, hot Rod. He goes, it's really hard to do smart, dumb comedies. Which is like, Airplane and Naked Gun were like, the best one, where it's like, it's dumb, but it's smart. You know, like, those are really difficult. And those guys just had the. I think what they just naturally found funny is what made it work. I think the best comedies for me always felt, like I've said 100 times, just like, oh, that the group who made it, they're just trying to make themselves laugh, you know, like they're, they're like, I don't know, this is like funny to us, you know? And then suddenly, you know, I showed my kids when they were young this movie and Naked Gun and they, they're dying laughing. I mean, I have three daughters. And the scene where the woman knocks the, where she's playing the guitar and she knocks the little girls tube out and she starts dying. They thought that was hilarious. Yeah, they were like crying, laughing in the face, she's making and everything. Like, they just thought that was great.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, so in that book, there was a bunch of people that weighed in. These are some quotes. Trey and Matt, they said Airplane was sort of the Star wars of comedy. The tone of it was just something we'd never seen. We went to see it several times with different friends and everything. It was a big deal. That's true. Because Caddyshack came out a couple weeks later and it was. These were when you would just go to the same comedy movie like four times. Like, we had like, we had like five channels. Like, so if something funny was out, you just kept going back to it.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, yeah. Now those would be like, like a TV show or something. They're like, well, how can we make this a TV show or something? But when it was a movie, yeah, you would go out, you'd see it over and over again. And I do think it was that Star wars thing is kind of apps where there you can kind of make a delineation of like before and after Airplane in some ways. Even the look of Airplane I saw in other movies where it was Airplane, I think purposely was kind of like, like harsh light and the sets were like obviously kind of fake. And it has this thing. And then you see 80s movies, like comedies just become that, you know, like these kind of lower budget movies. There's one called like Jekyll and Hyde Back Together Again with Mark Blankfield and then Crime Wave, Sam Raimi movie Crime Wave. Like, there's a bunch of them where they have that look, you know? Yeah, that's. But yeah, that's very much like, oh, it's like an early 80s comedy. But I don't know. Yeah, I, I, I just, I, yeah, I agree with those guys. There's nothing.

[Bill Simmons]

Here's another one. Here's Apatow. When you make a list of the best movies of all time, you're always going to put Airplane on it. If somebody made a movie as funny as Airplane right now, it would make a billion dollars.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah. This. That was that time, though, you know, that's like. Like, they apparently, I guess, showed it to Michael Eisner, who was the head of Paramount at the time. Michael Eisner's kids loved it. Like, they were like. We don't know if he liked it, but his kids were, like, cracking up. And so I think we all. Oh. Owe a debt to Michael Eisner's kids, because they were the ones that were like, holy, this is so funny.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, Patton Oswald said a lot of comedies in the last 30 years have wanted to be Airplane. They were gag, gag, gag, where Airplane is really structured, driving the story along the whole time. You've got to play comedies. If it's deadly serious, you've got to play weirdness as if it's the most normal thing in the world. That's something you've been good at. And a lot of the stuff you've done is like, people are being weird, but it seems completely normal as they're being weird.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, that's probably got it from watching Airplane a lot as a kid. That's what I mean. It was like, you don't showcase. Oh, this is. People ignore stuff which is funny. Like, in comedy, you always have that where. At least in my experience, where it's almost. They go, well, that guy should react. Right? And it's like, no, no, no, no. Just keep mo. That's like, one of the things that screwed up, you know, you say, you know, whatever. You know, like that scene where it's like, are you a doctor? Yes, I'm a doctor. He's a stethoscope. If you cut back to that girl going, well, that's weird. He has a stethoscope. It kills the whole thing. And I've been in those situations where a producer or somebody's like, well, wouldn't they. In reality, this would happen. It's like, right. This isn't reality.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Bill Hader]

It's like its own weird universe, you know, and it's like a weird movie reality.

[Bill Simmons]

But Letterman said, oh, Letterman.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, yeah. Letterman auditioned for it.

[Bill Simmons]

Letterman auditioned for it and was relieved. He didn't get it because he didn't think he was a good actor. And he loves this movie. And he said, my son and I, when we're driving the city, he will say to me, just move over, Elaine. And I'll say, I'll move over, but quit calling me Elaine. It just goes on and on. Film comedy became different after that movie. And it makes so much sense that he loved that movie because I'm like an Early Letterman guy and a lot of the absurdist, like, deadpan people being weird but not knowing they're weird. All that stuff was, like, in the first couple years of his show.

[Bill Hader]

It's definitely a movie where you could see the filmmakers grew up on television and, like, grew up on, like.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Bill Hader]

You know what I mean?

[Bill Simmons]

Watching Streets of San Francisco.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Beretta.

[Bill Hader]

Or like. Yeah. Or like, watching the stuff from the early 60s and late 50s. That's what my. You know, watching Sea Hunter. Yeah, those. Those shows were so deadly serious. But it's all like, jimmy, we got to get you home. Because, you know, it's all very wholesome and stuff. I mean, having June Cleaver do jive and, you know, Leave it to Beaver's mom is doing jive. And, I mean, it's very clear, like, all these dudes, like, grew up on TV and just sitting around like, making fun of it and. And. And. And that's why it's like, oh, no, it's got to be those guys, you know?

[Bill Simmons]

Well, the story of it was that they. They randomly taped this movie Zero Hour because they would tape TV and look at the commercials. They were trying to figure out this different comedy stuff and stumbled across this movie that came out in the late 50s. And the structure of it is basically identical to Airplane. There's a really good YouTube video. Some crazy person, or they.

[Bill Hader]

They do the comparison.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. And they're just like the scenes of, like, the. The nuns singing to the. To the little girl. Like, there's like five scenes that they just take somebody coming into the cockpit.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, you gotta have, like, those things are so specific. They had to come from another source. And it's fun because I didn't know about the Zero Hour thing. And then one time I just had tcm. I would just have it playing in my house. And then. Yeah, I was watching that, and I was like, God, this movie is like Airplane, Right? You know, And I got. And then looking it up and go, oh, yeah. This is what Airplane's based on, you know.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, the other one was Airport 75. It ripped off a few things from that.

[Bill Hader]

But I hadn't seen any of the Airport movies. And that's what. Again, my dad and my uncles, his brothers were the ones that were kind of like the older brother kind of guys, for me, of like, well, it's the Airport movies, but it's also this. And it's also this. Like, they were giving all the context of why it, like, was even a bigger thing for them than it was for me. I was just like, oh, this is hilarious and weird and, you know.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Because when I was little in the 70s, this was a whole industry. They were Poseidon Invention, Poseidon Adventure, all the airport movies, Towering Inferno, Black Sunday.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, they were like the superhero movies of the 70s. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. And they're all played the same way. There was always famous people in it. Like OJ I think was in Towering Inferno, I'm sure.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. And also there's one called the Swarm, like Burt I. Gordon movies. And. Yeah, all those guys. I'm blanking on the other guy's name, the big guy. But. But yeah, there's one about bees with Michael Caine called the Swarm.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, Jesus.

[Bill Hader]

That's got a bunch of big name.

[Bill Simmons]

Actors, just people going, fighting bees.

[Bill Hader]

Got to get away from these bees. Yeah, it's just. It's crazy.

[Bill Simmons]

Keenan Ivory Wayans said they took what Mel Brooks did to a whole other level. They not only made fun of the genre of the main story, but within that, they. They made fun of 10 other movies, which is true. Nobody had done that either. I think that's a good point. Like, all of a sudden, Saturday Night Fever is being parodied in this out of nowhere. And, you know.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. Yes, it was Saturday Night Fever. And I mean, there's so many other things in there. And then Kiara Wayans, I mean, I'm going to get. You Suck is a great movie, I think. Very, very funny. But. But, yeah, they encompass because again, like, Mel Brooks was doing the parody thing, but it was all comedic actors. And those movies are great. But it was all comedic and they're.

[Bill Simmons]

Ham in it up. Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

And they're having fun and they're going crazy. I mean, I. I mean, I love Harvey Corman and Blazing Saddles is so funny to me. But. But they're. Yeah, it's definitely big. And then they were. That's what I mean, these, the Zucker Brothers and Abrams, like, they were savvy enough. But it's also the thing you find, like they were just. They just watched a lot of shit, I guarantee it. Just were fans of stuff and they're like, why would we do that? They already did that. Let's do this thing.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Bill Hader]

You know, Matt and Trey are very much like that, where it's like, well, why are we going to do this when that's what everybody's doing? Let's try to. Let's make it, you know, puppets like thunder, you know, you know, Team America, you know, it. Let's do that. Because it. It's more exciting for Us.

[Bill Simmons]

This last quote was from Katzenberg, who is one of the execs on the. On the movie because he worked for Eisner. And he said, what happens to the movie business today bears no resemblance to the movie business. 70s and 80s, we were always determined to do unique and original. There was no franchise business, sequel business. It was all about original ideas. And you look at it. I was looking at the movies that came out in 1980, and there's, like, you know, barely any sequels. There's no. Really no superhero movies. And it's all these original idea movies. Some of them fell by the wayside, others stuck. But, you know, I feel like that's starting to come back a little bit now in 2025, but not totally.

[Bill Hader]

So, I mean, yeah, I think I was just talking to Patton the other day, and he was like, you know, it says something that the Indiana Jones movie, the last Indiana Jones movie, lost to Five Nights at Freddy's or something that. I sound like an old man, but. But, like. But that. That movie is so clear. People are like, oh, he likes something. Just something somewhat original and not like your mom and dad's sequel. It's like, we want the original stuff. Yeah, Yeah, I feel that, definitely. And you can feel it in some superhero movies now, where you can feel the filmmakers and the writers trying to, like, get things, you know, artistic and try to get things through, but in the superhero way. You know, it's kind of like Scorsese called them smugglers. But, you know, it's like filmmakers like. Like Douglas Dirk or something, he would make these melodramas that were women's pictures, quote unquote, but were really his, you know, German guy who fled the Nazis. And it was all his kind of like, you know, thinking how America was. So, you know, it was about America, like, American life. You know, he was getting all these ideas and this kind of, you know, critique of. Of America within this, like, Rock Hudson, Jane Wyman movie, you know, and. And I feel like you're starting to see that with some superhero movies. But hopefully, yeah, they'll be more and more original stuff. I mean, that's why it's so great when stuff like Weapons and Sinners does well. You know, like, it's always nice when that happens.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, we take a break and then come back. One more thing to throw you before we get to the categories. This episode is brought to you by Hulu. Glen Powell. Is chad powers coming September 30th to Hulu and Hulu on Disney. Eight years after flushing his college football career down the toilet. Hotshot quarterback Russ Holliday makes a comeback disguised as Chad Powers, an oddball athletic talent who walks onto the struggling South Georgia Catfish. Strong name determined to once again take college football by storm. Our guy, Glenn Powell. We are Glenn Powell supporters here at the Rewatchables. Watch the hilarious new Hulu original series, Chad Powers, September 30th. Streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney for bundle subscribers. Terms apply. 1980 Blues Brothers comes out June 20, Airplane comes out July 4, and Caddyshack comes out July 25.

[Bill Hader]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

And. And I look through. Because I'm a psycho. I went through every year and tried to figure out, is there anything remotely approximating that? And there just isn't. Like, there's been stretches and you were even involved in one where it was like an 07. Knocked up in Super Bad and Tropic Thunder all came out in the same year, but nothing like. Nothing like this. These three, like, Influential, where we hadn't had a lot of rewatch comedies.

[Bill Hader]

Like, I remember Pineapple Express and Tropic Thunder came out like, a week apart or something. I remember that, like, there was a couple.

[Bill Simmons]

There was like.

[Bill Hader]

And Knocked up and. Yeah, Knocked up was at the beginning of summer and Superbad was at the end of the summer, but nothing like that. Where you're like, well, those are three massive comedies that were still, you know, people still talk about. And they were all, like, within two.

[Bill Simmons]

Months, like, influential ones. Because I was looking at, like, the comedy eras and like, mid-90s. That was. All of a sudden we had all those Jim Carrey, Adam Sandler.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Chris Farley movies, but they're pretty spread out in the late 90s, had the Farrelly Brothers and American Pie and Austin Powers and multiple Sandler movies and 8 millimeter, which I now consider a comedy. Yeah. And Machine was arguably the best comedic actor we had, but nothing. The. The only other. And you were involved in the. The era that was like the last, like, distinct era when it was Apatow. It was for, you know, Pineapple Express. It was the Hangover. And it just felt like for five years there, we were just firing out these classic comics.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. Bridesmaids was in.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. And it just kept going all the way through. Like, basically this is the ended Neighbors. But.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

But nothing like this stretch of just three movies in a row that became, like, iconic.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. It's pretty crazy that those are all that close together and. But I, I mean, I will say I've watched those films a lot and. And Airplane is the One. Nothing against those other movies, but Airplane is one I keep going back to because it's just so unique, you know?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. It feels the least dated for some reason. Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

It's just. It's like it's its own thing that you can't. I mean, Blues Brothers is very funny. And it's so, like, extravagant, that movie. Like, the car chase scenes at the end, you just like. They had so much money for a comedy.

[Bill Simmons]

And cocaine. There was a lot of cocaine decisions.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. A lot of coke decisions. But. And I mean, Blues Brothers is so funny because of all the shit in that movie. The thing that I. The only thing I hold on to for that movie is Orange Whip. I mean, my friends. Orange Whip. Orange Whip. John Candy.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Bill Hader]

That's like, what we say. We'll say that, like, orange. When I'm asking people if they want stuff. And then I'll be like, orange Whip, you know, but. And then Caddyshack is so. You know, it was really funny, but I was just as a side. Caddyshack for all the comedy. I mean, again, to what we're talking about. When I watch Caddyshack, there's so many funny people in that movie, and obviously they're all amazing. But the person I always think about is Ted Knight in that movie is so funny because he's not. He's not. He just feels real. He feels like such a. Do you know what I mean? He just has that. When he's talking to his golf club at the end, like, oh, Billy, Billy. Like, so funny and weird and he has. Like, all the stakes of the movie are in his eyes. Like, he's so. Like, his son. He hates and, like, all that. I just. I think he is so funny in that. And. And, yeah, so it's.

[Bill Simmons]

It's one of my favorite characters of any movie ever. Judge Meals.

[Bill Hader]

Unbelievable.

[Bill Simmons]

Tour de force.

[Bill Hader]

It really is like he. He really. Again, because there's something rooted in reality that's very funny to me. You know.

[Bill Simmons]

I was thinking with Airplane, one of the things that's crazy and different than Caddyshack has it, especially if you play golf. But this movie had so many bits that just became part of conversation. Like in my family, my friends, like, you had a story about good luck. We're all counting on you, that you.

[Bill Hader]

Told in the book. Yeah, yeah. That's what Alec Berg would say. And. Yeah. Or I think it was. Alec would say that to me or I would say that.

[Bill Simmons]

No, you would say that. He was.

[Bill Hader]

I would say it to Alec.

[Bill Simmons]

He was like writing. He had some deadline and pull up some scene. And you would just keep opening his door.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, yeah, I keep opening his door going, good luck. We're all counting on you. And then I would call him in the middle of the night, good luck. We're all counting. Like, just keep it going.

[Bill Simmons]

But we had that. We had the. The. Shirley must be serious. Stop calling me Shirley. That was the running thing.

[Bill Hader]

That's huge.

[Bill Simmons]

What a big one for my.

[Bill Hader]

The other thing is. Oh, yes, I had the fish. That was the other thing that we would always say, like, if it wasn't on the menu.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

Another thing in my family, we'd be like, at a. You know, what'd you guys have? Oh, I had the burrito. I had taco. I remember. Yeah, I had the fish.

[Bill Simmons]

Right. You know, a big one in my family was the fried lasagna.

[Bill Hader]

Sorry, I fucked it up.

[Bill Simmons]

I had the lasagna.

[Bill Hader]

The other lasagna.

[Bill Simmons]

The. The people that are sitting next to the Robert Hayes character who are committing suicide because the stories are so long that we've had that as a running joke of my dad's family for 45 years. Because we have a couple relatives where you're just like. And you see them trapped in the corner and we start looking like. And pulling out the samurai sword.

[Bill Hader]

And also, all those care. Actors are so good. That old lady is so funny. Where. I mean, after she says, like, oh, she's lovely, you know, supple breast, amazing figure, you know, and all that. But then when he starts talking, the way she takes her glasses off, like, oh, no. Like, yeah, I didn't want. This guy's gonna go into a story.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, I like my coffee black. Like my men. That's lasted 45 years.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. That's huge.

[Bill Simmons]

Have you ever been in a Turkish prison? Has just been undefeated.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Leon's getting larger.

[Bill Hader]

Leon's lean larger. The fog is getting thicker. And Leon. And then. And then it looks like I picked a bad week to quit doing blank, you know, or whatever. Yeah, that was always.

[Bill Simmons]

That keeps going forever. Looks like a long. Pick the wrong week to stop sniffing glue. Whatever you want. And then the other one. My wife and I do. I don't know if this is a. But anytime I do something, because we've been together since, like 1998, when if. If I'm like, yeah, I'm not going to have coffee today. And she's like, hm, Bill always has coffee in the morning. It's like, that's, like eternal. I feel like that keeps. That's going to keep going.

[Bill Hader]

That was based on a commercial that it was.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, it was based on a copy at home, quickly before the categories. So we mentioned all the stuff that they borrowed from Paramount bought it. And a big thing was them convincing the studio that they didn't need comedy actors, that they wanted to get people like Robert Stack and Leslie Nielsen and all that stuff. And it's funny, McKay says this in the book, which is along the lines of what you just said with Brian Williams about anytime we had older, high status white dudes on the show hosting, when they weren't really actors, they were the easiest to write comedy for because they could fall a lot further. And it was so fun to hear them say crazy, crazy things.

[Bill Hader]

It's true. I mean, think of when William Shatner says get a life at the Star Trek sketch. People still think about that because it was William Shatner going get a life like him. And you. And you were shocked. You're like, oh my God, I've only seen him be Captain Kirk and him actually doing that. I will say, incidentally, when I rewatched the movie, the thing that. And Kenan Thompson and I would talk about this all the time. I think maybe my favorite part of the movie now when I watch it, there's so many favorite parts. I really like the end of the movie when Robert Stack is talking on the. On the record and to Robert Hayes and Robert Hayes leaves and he keeps talking and he goes, I mean, yeah, it was a childhood was a living hell. You know, you just get kicked in the head with an iron boot. And then he gets in his head, he goes, of course you don't know what that's like, Ted. No one knows. I forget I said it. I don't know why I said that. Like he's just completely spinning out and he's like municipal bond head. Like he's just like that thing was so weird and that Robert Stack played it straight. Me and Ken Thompson would do that all the time. We go, kicked in the head, an iron boot.

[Bill Simmons]

So written directed by the Zucker Brothers and Jimmy Abrahams. The original title was Flying High and then it was called Kentucky Fried Airplane. In the like the script process, they knew they were going to call that.

[Bill Hader]

The Kentucky Fried Theater.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. And then they did Kentucky Fried movies. So that's what. Anyway, 3.5 million dollar budget. It made $171 million. It was the fourth biggest movie of 1980 and. And obviously a massive hit for Paramount. That. Yeah, help. The Eisner piece. Roger Ebert, our guy, three Stars said it was a comedy in the great tradition of high school. Sits skits, the Sid Caesar TV show, Mad Magazine, blah, blah, blah. The reason it's funny frequently is because it's sophomore, predictable, corny, etc, but he liked it. All right, categories. So I tried to narrow down most rewatchable scene. Red zone, white zone argument. Listen, Betty, don't start with your white zone again. That whole part, the jive guys boarding the plane.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. I mean, the jive guys with June Cleaver is. Is. Was pretty shocking. Like, it's still like. It just. You don't expect that bit to take that turn that Leave it to Beaver's mom's gonna show up and be like, I speak jive. And then I. I saw on, like, Patton sent me this thing that was funny, which was on the making of airplane, like the 25th anniversary or something. They had those two actors who put. Played the jive talking guys. And they were speaking, you know, obviously, like. Like normal people. But underneath it, they subtitled them in jives. So it was like reverse to the movie. It's like, oh, that's funny.

[Bill Simmons]

So.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, and they made up a lot of that stuff, those two guys. Yeah, that's what one of the Zuckers said. They were like, oh, those guys deserve a lot of credit for that because they were just making stuff up.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, they unleashed at least one of the actors. I think his name was Al White, on how to just like, hey, can you write this?

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. Yeah. That was so funny.

[Bill Simmons]

Kareem loved it. I was surprised. Kareem said, I love the ebonic scene. Because they poked fun at a very real subject with that to.

[Bill Hader]

That was funny. When he says, the hell I don't to the kid. That is very funny.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I got that one.

[Bill Hader]

Just not because you don't see that coming either.

[Bill Simmons]

So I have Ted's story about meeting Elaine. When we're in the disco, there's a stunt woman fight that just keeps going and going.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. Two Girl Scouts or something. It makes. Yeah. I don't know what. That was so funny.

[Bill Simmons]

And that goes right into Stabbed.

[Bill Hader]

And he starts, like, pointing to the knife in his back. And.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

Julie Hagerty thinks it's a dance. I worked with her once too, and I asked her about it and she was like, oh. I go, were you guys laughing a lot on the set of that? And she goes, well, you know how it is. No, you're kind of like trying to get it right, you know? And then they go, cut. And you'd be like, oh, God, I hope that was all right, you know, and.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Bill Hader]

So there wasn't like, oh, we're having a hard time keeping it together because the tone was so weird. So she's like, I had a great time. I just remember trying to, like, keep my. She's like the nicest human being on the planet. Julie Haggerty is. And. But she was like. I was just trying to, like, make sure I was getting the right tone and everything. It was very. It was very sweet.

[Bill Simmons]

Did you have a movie where everybody was just laughing on the set the entire time and almost being able to. Or is it just serious comedy every time?

[Bill Hader]

No, I mean. I mean, super bad. We laughed a lot on. I remember Super Bad. I mean, it's on the dvd. There's a whole scene I couldn't get through because I kept laughing.

[Bill Simmons]

What scene was it?

[Bill Hader]

When I tell McLovin, I'm sorry I blocked your. I couldn't get through the line. I just kept laughing. I just could not stop laughing because I didn't realize Christmas Plass was going to be naked in the scene and, like, under the covers. And yet we walk in on him with this girl. And so just seeing this nerdy guy with, you know, it was just the whole image of him and me as this cop apologizing to him. It just. I was like, guys, I don't think I can do this. And it went from being funny to. To then, you know, people like. You know, like, dude, get your.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, people are getting bad at you. Come on, man.

[Bill Hader]

Please, get it. Like, get it together, dude. But that one was a lot of fun. I remember us laughing a lot on that. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Couple more rewatchable scenes. Well, the kid bringing the coffee to the girl when they're both like, little kid. Adults.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. Republican kids or something.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. I don't know. That just was a fun idea. Captain over meets Joey and. And Roger meets Joey, too. We got all. We're playing all the hits on this one. And then it goes to the Kareem, which I gotta say, when I saw this at age 10, and I knew Kareem as just this guy who had no emotion when he played basketball. Just shot the sky, Hook had the goggles. You had no feel for him at all. He was the biggest star in the league. And then to see him in Airplane, it, like, broke my brain because I love basketball fan.

[Bill Hader]

Do you think the kid's dad has a point?

[Bill Simmons]

That was the. That was. What was great about that scene was that was the rap on him that he only tried in the Playoffs and that he was on autopilot during the.

[Bill Hader]

Season as a sports, you know. You know, sports, you know, master. What do you think about what Kareem said back? Do you think his, like, have your old man. I've been hearing that shit ever since UCLA and Dragon.

[Bill Simmons]

Do you think I loved it? Well, the, I was going to talk about this later. The funniest thing with the cream thing is it's, we have this category, Apex Mountain. It's literally his Apex Mountain because they just won the 1980 title. He had had the best game of his life in game five where he got hurt, he sprained his ankle, he came back, had this royal game.

[Bill Hader]

Oh. So he's like at the top of his.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, and he had just finished like this incredible 11 year run. You know, top of the mountain. He's playing with magic, he's in la, but nobody had a feel for him. And then when he did this, it, like, I, I, I actually think it really helped him from a public standpoint. People are like, oh, Kareem's not an asshole.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, he has like a sense of humor about himself.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. And also, athletes weren't in movies like Bernard King was in fast break, Dr. J was in Fish that say Pittsburgh, but they weren't in movies like this.

[Bill Hader]

Guys in Slap Shot. Right. No hockey guys in that. And then Long.

[Bill Simmons]

But it was, it was just so unconventional.

[Bill Hader]

Like by, by the time I guess it like retired people. Right. Like. Right, yeah, right. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, and then you go, 35 years later, you did train wreck and LeBron is in it. Right. And at that time, we're used to athletes doing like that, but with Kareem, we were not.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

You said LeBron was good. Like, good, like a good actor though.

[Bill Hader]

He was really good. What I thought was funny about LeBron was that Judd, you know, he was pitching some kind of things. Like I remember. Oh, what if, you know, you go, you guys go to. It was like bigger kind of set piece stuff, like more comedy stuff. And, and, and LeBron was more into like the idea that he was cheap, he thought was really funny. Like, and that was just a thing I was saying, like, to him. Like, I had met somebody who was like, really famous and like, like really rich and had a dinner with, I just had a dinner with them and I was like. And dude, they like, we split the check. It was crazy. Like, one of the most richest people in the world and we split the check. And LeBron was like, oh, I should do that. Like, that was like, he got really excited by that. And he was like, oh, let's do that. You know, which I like. So I was like, oh, man, he's funny. He's got, like, a real comedy, you know, brain. And. And he played it great, you know?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

And then. And Judd was so delighted by that. He was like, oh, he wants to do. Oh, that's so awesome, you know? So, yeah, he was great.

[Bill Simmons]

Couple more scenes. The. The. The. Playing the song for the sick little girl goes right into Ted's story about living in Africa when they're teaching basketball. The soldier ends up killing himself. That all stretch. My favorite part we didn't talk about yet, the inflatable pilot getting blown.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, yeah. That's the kind of. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

When I was 10, that was the height of comedy for me. I just. It felt edgy. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to see it.

[Bill Hader]

Also, the funny thing about that scene is that some of the WGN and tbs, like, my memory is one of them cut it and the other one didn't cut it. And I was like, I wonder if they understood what was happening in that scene. Right. You know, I mean, the. The. The inflatable head smiles. Like, the guy smiles so clearly.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like it starts going up and down at one point.

[Bill Hader]

Up and down. Like, this is awesome. But, like. Yeah, like, I remember it got cut in some of them, and other ones it wasn't cut. And I thought that was interesting.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, that goes right into the attack. Golden retriever. And then it goes right into the guy covering himself in gasoline.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Holding the match. And she's like, hey, Ted, you wanna. And the guy got.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. And he's like, nod. Like, please, please, go.

[Bill Simmons]

Couple more quick ones. The lady who freaks out and everyone lines up to hit her. That was borrowed from one of the airport movies where somebody's freaking out and somebody slaps her. And they just decided to take that cr.

[Bill Hader]

Also. Leslie Nielsen. It's so brutal. He slaps her and they go, doctor, they need you. And he slaps her one last time.

[Bill Simmons]

He goes.

[Bill Hader]

And you're like, jesus Christ. It's like, so mean. Like, he. That's still shocking to me when I see it, because it's like, you're kind of used to this thing. And then.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

For no reason, I was like, God damn it, that's awful.

[Bill Simmons]

The stewardess. I speak jive.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

This is a small one. But Randy breaking down when she's like, I'm 26 and I'm not married. And that other lady comes in and says, I have A husband Classic. And then the landing. The plane has the. I just want to tell you all, good luck. We're all counting on you. I quit the wrong week to quit sniffing glue. All that's. It's playing all the hits down the stretch.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, yeah. Where he says also there's that weird moment where. Where Lloyd Bridges is talking and that. And he's. And that spear for no reason just flies into the. And then he goes. And if we don't do it, this thing will go right down to the ground. And then a giant watermelon falls down.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

You're like, what is happening?

[Bill Simmons]

They were just throwing jokes at the end.

[Bill Hader]

I don't know. Watermelon falls. Yeah, like you know and.

[Bill Simmons]

All right, so what's your favorite? What's your most rewatchable?

[Bill Hader]

I had that moment with Robert Stack where he loses it at the end where he's like, municipal bonds. Ted. I just reason I like it because it really. It just. I get logically why those guys did it. But it's an intuitive thing that you realize that this guy who's like so cool just really wants a friend and he's just trying to connect to somebody and that he had a horrible childhood. It's just really funny to me. No one's on the other end. It's like, why would anybody. It's just that he picks that time to. To unload all his onto. Ted is very funny.

[Bill Simmons]

I have inflatable or I have. I have the cockpit, obviously. I mean the cockpit led to more jokes over the next 30 years, just in real life than anything. And especially those. It's just. Anyway, what's the most.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, I also like the. At the time because my grandmother used to listen to it all the time was the Ethel Mer. You will be swell.

[Bill Simmons]

Right?

[Bill Hader]

Like it's such a shocking thing that it's actually Ethel Merman. It was very funny.

[Bill Simmons]

What's the most 1980 thing about this movie? All right, nominees. The second cup of coffee being a parody of a coffee commercial that was in the moment, but nobody would know now somebody saying, I haven't felt this awful since I saw the Ronald Reagan.

[Bill Hader]

Film or the Anita Bryant concert.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, those. Yeah. Nina Bryant concert. Ronald Reagan film. Like just some of the pop culture that's in here. They do a disco is dead joke. They're smoking and non smoking sections to the airplane.

[Bill Hader]

That was. Yeah, that was the. My dad and his brothers told me the biggest laugh of the entire movie and the Zucker brothers told me too is when it's like where Disco lives forever and it takes and it hits the thing.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Bill Hader]

People were so sick of disco. He said that thing. It like stopped the movie. Like people were cheering for like the next two scenes because people hated disco so much by that point. It was so played out.

[Bill Simmons]

A movie starting with a Jaws parody. The announcer going pinch hitting for Pedro Borbone. Many Motown. I have Hare Krishna's in an airport because.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, that's.

[Bill Simmons]

There's just not people handing out stuff in airports anymore. I think that that era is long over.

[Bill Hader]

Also, I will say. I mean, people do cocaine jokes, but the old lady sniffing the cocaine and the coffee. Yeah, one. But Anita Bryant concert is pretty. And also just like the look of it. I don't know. For me, I'm always like just the look of like. Like the harsh lighting and there's shadows and stuff. Like very 80s to me.

[Bill Simmons]

My answer is Kareem. Kareem still with hair. Especially when they pull him at the end of the goggles and it's just like, that's Clearly Kareem in 1980.

[Bill Hader]

In death. They just admit, yeah, it was Kareem.

[Bill Simmons]

All right. What's age the best? So the premise is just pretty good for a movie. A crew becomes sick with food poisoning and an erotic pilot must safely land the plane full of passengers. Just a good premise.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Being stuck to next to somebody on a plane who won't shut up. You just instantly think of airplane.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, totally.

[Bill Simmons]

If you're like, so where are you flying? And you're like, oh boy, here we go. Oh, no.

[Bill Hader]

Nightmare.

[Bill Simmons]

All the hidden jokes we mentioned earlier that you don't maybe catch the first time. But like for instance in the newsstand where it says whacking material.

[Bill Hader]

Whacking material is also the idea that the. Every time they cut to the model, you know, the exterior of the plane, those it. The sound of the plane is. Is. That's not what the plane sounds like.

[Bill Simmons]

It's a propeller.

[Bill Hader]

Very funny.

[Bill Simmons]

The wordplay stuff of like this woman has. Has to be gotten to a hospital. Hospital. What is it? It's a big building with patients. But the fact that they just keep doing that over and over again, but that's not important right now. 19 different things. I thought that the theme music's pretty good.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, it's. It's Elmer Bernstein, right? Yeah, pretty good.

[Bill Simmons]

Want to throw that in there?

[Bill Hader]

And the Zucker Brothers. And they're in it. Yeah. Jim Abrams is. He's one of the Hare Krishna's. And then the two Zucker Brothers are the ones where you know. Hey, Tony. Yeah. They're the.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Hader]

The.

[Bill Simmons]

The air traffic guys.

[Bill Hader]

The air traffic guys. Like, where. It's over there. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

So Leslie Nielsen, being a comedy actor, has aged the best since this unleashed him into three Naked Gun movies and Police Squad and all kinds of different things. And then I think that the Air is Real joke is really underrated. I can't believe they did that at the moment. But I think they felt like they could get away with that because it was Jewish, but it was just like. It's so stuck in where there's a plane and it's got, like, a beard on the bottom.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

It looks like a rabbi.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

The. The famous Jewish Sports Legends pamphlet is funny.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

That was very small.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. Light reading material.

[Bill Simmons]

And then. I gotta say, I'm throwing her in here. Lorna Patterson had a crush on her for, like, 45 years. I don't know how old she is now, but she. She's great in this movie and she had a great voice and.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Home run all the way around. Any other wood stage the best for you?

[Bill Hader]

I know. Just like, Just the things we've been talking about earlier, but just like it's its own thing. It's like. I can't describe it. It's like you can't. It's like it's a 101. It's a 101. Yeah. It's like you can't. I don't really know what else you can really compare it to, you know.

[Bill Simmons]

Zipping through some quick categories. The Big Kahuna Burger Award for best use of food and drink has to be the poison fish.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, yeah, the poison fish. And the whole reaction, him talking about it and him puking. Yeah. Peter Graves is very good in that scene where he has to do all the symptoms.

[Bill Simmons]

We have a great shot. Gordo Award for the most cinematic shot, named after Gordon Willis. The water nailing them in on the beach when they get covered in seaweed. Pretty good.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, it's pretty great. Yeah, That's a good shot. I also like. There's a. The shot where they're in the cockpit and the. When he's telling them, you know, you have to land the plane and everything, that the light is very. It's all very dark and everything. It's very like the lighting in the cockpit suddenly changes or. A movie is very funny.

[Bill Simmons]

Kid Cudi, Pursuit of Happiness Award for best needle drop. This has to be the Bee Gees set up. Bee Gees in the disco.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Chess, Rockwell and Brock Landers award for best character name. Ted Striker is really good. Unless there's one you like more Ted Strikers.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. And you hear it so many times throughout the movie, too, and it. It's always funny. And Leon. I don't know what Leon's last name is, but I like that that guy's name is Leon.

[Bill Simmons]

And then we don't get to give this out all the time, but the Sean Penn I broke my. I brought my Own pack award for excellence in on screen smoking stack and bridges are simultaneously just. Just heat and darts and just look like it is not the first time.

[Bill Hader]

No, that seems like they're just. Yeah, they just. They were smoking off camera and they just were like, well, I'm not.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

All right. The Butch's Girlfriend award for weak link of the film. I have one. Unless you want to go first. So we never say this on the rewatchables. We always are mad that the movie's too long. I. This movie's like five minutes too short.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, I could have.

[Bill Simmons]

I could have. I could have gone a little further.

[Bill Hader]

I like it that it's so short. I like that they just are in. They leave you wanting more. You know, I mean, I had some ideas.

[Bill Simmons]

I could add one more scene with the jive guys. I could have had Steven Stucker, who is trying to steal the second half of the movie. In the first half of the movie, maybe for 20 seconds.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I could have done one more round with the kids acting like adults. And then there's nothing with the airplane bathroom. That just seems like there could have been a scene in the bathroom. Something.

[Bill Hader]

You got the mom. Their mom. That's the Zucker Brothers mom. Is the lady putting on the.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

The makeup and everything. I mean, I. I mean. Yeah. I mean. Yeah. I don't want to see more about the relationship of the. The guy's wife and the horse. I don't really know that. I like just knowing what we know. Yeah, that's.

[Bill Simmons]

That's pretty good because this movie's like 80 minutes. Wait, Craig, Craig, you're on this, right? You're listening?

[Craig Rollbeck]

Yeah, I think it's 88 minutes, Craig.

[Bill Simmons]

Because Craig is the. Craig's. The shepherd of this movie is too long. So was this movie the right length for you, Craig, or could you. Gone five more minutes?

[Craig Rollbeck]

I mean, if you're. If we're picking five minutes, sure. But I like that these. You keep people wanting more.

[Bill Hader]

I like it. Wanting more. Yeah. Most movies, especially now, I'm always like, how the heck was that? So long you know, oh, it's like.

[Bill Simmons]

A guaranteed two plus hours now. Anything?

[Bill Hader]

You got any? I've been in movies where like you're at the premiere and they're like, all right, the movie is 2 hours and 45 minutes and we're in it and the whole cast goes, what?

[Bill Simmons]

That was the. The second hit movie was really long.

[Bill Hader]

Second it movie is. That was it. We were at the premiere and they were like, yeah, so this movie is like over three hours or something. And it was really funny. The whole cast, we were all sitting in one row at the premiere. We all went what? We all looked at the director and he was laughing and like put his head down. We're like, why is it so long? Why did you guys keep everything? Then afterwards be like, it was that long. But you cut the scene where we did the.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, he can't wait.

[Bill Hader]

Somehow we still didn't make, you know, the cut in some way. It was very funny.

[Bill Simmons]

I only have a couple. What stage the worst, but we'll do them right after the break. This episode is brought to you by Pretty Litter. If you're like me and you track your steps, your sleep, even your screen time, why wouldn't you track your cat's health too? Pretty Litter is like smart tech for your litter box. This color changing litter actually monitors your cat's health by detecting potential issues in their urine, things like ph changes or blood, so you can catch problems early. Plus, Pretty Litter ships free right to your door, so no heavy bags to carry and no last minute pet store runs right now. Save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy at PrettyLitter.com Rewatchables Once again, PrettyLitter.com Rewatchable to save 20% on your first order and Get a free cat toy PrettyLitter.com RewatchABLES Pretty Litter cannot detect every feline health issue or prevent or diagnose diseases. A diagnosis can only come from a licensed veterinarian. Terms and conditions apply. See site for details. This message is a paid partnership with Apple Card. If there's one thing I'm going to make sure I pack for my summer vacation, it's my Apple Card. I can earn up to 3% daily cash back on every purchase, including fuel for my car and booking places to stay. Plus, I don't have to worry about fees, including foreign transaction fees, which is perfect when I'm planning to travel abroad. To get an Apple Card for your summer travels, apply in the Wallet app on your iPhone today. Subject to credit approval. Apple Card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA, Salt Lake City Branch. Variable APRs for Apple Card range from 18.24% to 28.49% based on credit worthiness rates as of July 1, 2025 Terms and more at applecard.com what stage the worst? So Robert Stack was offered an extra 20k or a percentage or a percentage of the movie, and he took the 20K.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And he's been mad about it ever since, just kicking himself because the movie made almost $200 million. Tough one.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, it's a tough one.

[Bill Simmons]

The jive scene, when they dub it in other languages, has caused complete chaos. And they said when they do it in Germany, they use a thick Bavarian dialect. It sounds amazing.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, wow.

[Bill Simmons]

Yes. I don't know how that translates in French, Portuguese, whatever. And then the. The shock impact of Kareem being in this. We mentioned earlier, which now in 2025. But it really was shocking to see him in this. And now, as the years passed, that. That's kind of faded. You know what I mean?

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, yeah. But I'm sure that was like. Yeah, you couldn't believe it, how shocking that was at the time. I mean, and it's funny for me because I was so young. I probably knew him from this first and before. Yeah, player. You know, it was like later, I was like, oh, Skyhook. Oh, that's the guy from Airplane.

[Bill Simmons]

Right. The only other one I have you mentioned already, which is when Leslie Nielsen goes in for that second smack.

[Bill Hader]

It's so shocking. It's like.

[Bill Simmons]

He's like, I gotta get it.

[Bill Hader]

Because it's just like, Jesus Christ. It's so horrible.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. I don't know if that's happening in 2025.

[Bill Hader]

Good. Also. I mean, there's also like. I don't know about all the. The African guys.

[Bill Simmons]

The basketball is the other day.

[Bill Hader]

Basketball is not that. That doesn't. I mean, when I watched that with my kids, they were kind of quiet during that scene. They were like, I don't know about this. I mean, that was the moment in any movie I watched. My kids always have to be like, it was the 80s, you know, like.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

Watching Back to the Future. And when, like, Marty McFly's dad's, like, up in a tree, like, watching girls undress. And my. My kid was like, he's a pervert. And I'm like, no, no, no. You're gonna want to see him win at the end.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Just trust me.

[Bill Hader]

So just trust me. She's like, this guy. I'm not watching this like this guy. That's disgusting. This dude.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, it's, it's the 80s is a great excuse for a lot of behavior. It was the 80s.

[Bill Hader]

It was the 80s. It was all made by white guys for white guys.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

Sorry. I'm sorry. But, but yeah, they, they, they lasted through this one. But some of them, like Back to the Future and some of the other ones, they were like, nah, we're not into this.

[Bill Simmons]

The CR thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Ford Award for the hottest take. I'm going to throw this one at you. I think Lorna Patterson should have been a bigger star.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't really get it because she was in this and then Private Benjamin, which was the TV version of it, and she was on that for three years and it never kind of happened. And then that was it.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Every guy that I knew had a crush on her in this movie.

[Bill Hader]

But it was a hard time though, you know?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

At that time for, for actresses, you know.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, they didn't have, there wasn't that whole rom com infrastructure yet. That doesn't happen to the late 80s. But I think if, if she's 10 years later now, now there's like different types of things. Because she would have been good in a rom com.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was really good in this. I mean, everybody across the board. I, I mean, when I'm just thinking about the performances, there's nobody, there's. Everybody's so funny in it. I mean.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, this has more casting what ifs than any movie we've had in a while, including we mentioned Ted Stryker was written for David Letterman.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And then he.

[Bill Hader]

Letterman. Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

He couldn't, couldn't pull it off. The studio pushed Barry Manilow at one.

[Bill Hader]

Point, but David Letterman, you can go on YouTube and he has the Zucker Brothers and Abrams on Late night in the early 80s. Yeah. And they show his audition on this and it's really. Yeah. You could see the what if. Like that's what the movie would have been if it was Letterman.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. The scene is him in the hospital.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Ted Stryker.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. He spits the water. Yeah, that. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I love Letterman.

[Bill Hader]

I'm George Zip. George Zip's another good name. Sorry.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, that was a good one.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. I'm glad Letterman's not in this movie because I think as the years pass, it makes it weird.

[Bill Hader]

He kind of overpowers. He should have been either. I think it's, it's great as Robert Hayes and Julie Haggard. It's like, I just think the casting across the board's like, perfect. I can't imagine anybody else.

[Bill Simmons]

Fred Willard said that he was offered the role of Ted Stryker and didn't really understand the script and turned it down.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Tim Matheson was offered Ted Stryker, but was filming 1941. And then they said Bruce Jenner, at the time an Olympic gold medalist and trying to get into acting, audition for Ted, did not get it.

[Bill Hader]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

Now, Caitlyn Jenner.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. I mean, Robert Hayes is just the one for me.

[Bill Simmons]

I just think because he plays it straight and it's. He's not trying it all.

[Bill Hader]

He seems like if they were making that movie now, like, if they're making an honest version of like. Like, Paramount was like, hey, we want to do a straight remake of Zero Hour. Those are the two people they would cast as.

[Bill Simmons]

No question.

[Bill Hader]

You know, so it works.

[Bill Simmons]

Elaine's part was auditioned for by Sigourney Weaver and Shelley Long.

[Bill Hader]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

Went to Julie Haggerty, and Shelley Long had a quote where she's like, I thought I had it. It was like one of those. Like, she's kind of surprised she didn't get it.

[Bill Hader]

That's a terrible feeling. I know that feeling.

[Bill Simmons]

What's your number one? I thought I had it. Movie.

[Bill Hader]

I don't want to say what it is, but, yeah, there's been a couple words.

[Bill Simmons]

Tell me after the podcast.

[Bill Hader]

I'll tell you after the podcast. But there's been a couple where they're like, dude, they love you. Get ready. I mean, I've had the whole thing where I do the, you know, the wardrobe fitting, everything, and then they give you a call and go, oh, dude. So and so. Read the script, and they're a bigger name. Sorry. You know. Or you just lose it. I will say forever. When I would audition, I could put money on it that Adam Scott was reading for the same thing. This is, like, 20 years ago.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, interesting.

[Bill Hader]

I would walk into a room and he'd be walking out. We both just start laughing, and I'm like, of course. I was like, God damn it. Adam read for this. There's no way I'm gonna get this. You know, he's so good. But, yeah, a lot of actors usually have that person that's always reading the same thing you are.

[Bill Simmons]

Dr. Rumak. Leslie Nielsen's character turned down by Dom DeLuise. Christopher Lee, Vincent Price and Jack Webb from Dragnet. And Christopher Lee and Vincent Price both said it was the biggest mistake of their career.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, yeah, that'd be pretty amazing. It's got to be Leslie Nielsen, though. He's just too.

[Bill Simmons]

I agree.

[Bill Hader]

He's just perfect. Every line, everything he does. Even the weird egg thing like he does. And when he cracks the egg and the bird flies out, he does that like, almost like karate chop hand where he's like. We're like, it, it, it. It's unbelievable. Like, he's so good.

[Bill Simmons]

Vincent Price does not. I don't see that.

[Bill Hader]

Well, it just makes it too weird movie. It just makes it a different thing, you know. And this be doing campy, funny stuff by then, you know, for years. So, yeah, it's gotta be Leslie Nielsen.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, this would have made it a different movie too. They wanted Pete Rose for Roger Murdoch, but it was during baseball season. He couldn't do it. So they. They got Kareem. Pete Rose.

[Bill Hader]

There's somewhere. There's somewhere, I think in that book where they have the script pages for Pete Rose. I think it's in that airplane book where they have the scene that they wrote for Pete Rose. That would have been interesting.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, it turned out to be Kareem. And then Jive lady translator was supposed to be Harriet Nelson from Ozzie and Harriet. She turned it down. They went to June Cleaver. And then this made me laugh too. Peter Graves said no because he thought the film was. The script was tasteless.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

But then they talked him into it and he still didn't really understand the cockpit stuff. And they told him later on in the movie we're gonna explain it, but they never did. And. Yeah, just kind of rope a doped him to get him to say all the way.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. They told me Jerry was usually the person that had to talk to the actors.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

Zucker was the one that was really good at explaining what they wanted and that. And that they had. The thing they always say is that they had to explain to Robert Stack. Like, remember the scene? Robert Stack's like, it's his ball game now. He's the big. He's the head honcho, the blah, blah, blah. He goes, you know, it's like what you do. And. And like he was doing it wrong. And Jerry Zucker was like, no, you know, it's like when you did, you know, this scene from this movie you did, and he goes, I had to do Robert Stack to Robert Stack to.

[Bill Simmons]

Get him to be Robert Stack to be Robert Stack.

[Bill Hader]

He goes, no, no, no. It's. It's that list. You do that a lot in your stuff, you know, and he didn't get it. And then he nailed it and they loved it.

[Bill Simmons]

You probably had moments like that on SNL with different actors, right?

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, yeah. Where you're like, hey. So I was wondering. My thing I always had to do is I would have to do an impression of somebody to them. Like, I had to go and, like. Like, John Malkovich or Christopher Walken or Robert De Niro would have to go into their dressing room and say, hey, I'm doing you in the sketch. You know, so I just want to do it so we're not just out there. I hope you're okay with this. You know, And I would do the. That was very weird.

[Bill Simmons]

Because you were worried that if you did it out there, it would throw them off.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, throw them off. Like, whoa. It's just like, I just felt like that was a respectful thing to do instead of, like, in front of a ton of people and, like, not like on live shows when we're doing rehearsal, like, in front of a bunch of people, like, surprise them by doing them.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

Sometimes you would do an impression of people, and they didn't. They didn't appreciate it. Even if, you know, it was, like, not bad. You know, I. I would have people, you know, stop heading like that or whatever. Not a lot, but it happened a couple times. So with those guys, I respect them so much. I was like, hey, do you want to. He. I would say, hey, do you want to hear it? Or whatever. And they go, yeah, yeah. What is. And so you do, like, to Christopher Walken. Christopher Walken was like, oh, everybody does me. Don't worry about it. But, like, I had to do Malkovich to Malkovich, and he was so sweet about it. He was like, oh, that's good. That's good. You know, like, he was very nice.

[Bill Simmons]

Not many people have gone mad. Like, I remember Mark Wahlberg got mad.

[Bill Hader]

At the Andy Samberg man, and he got really upset at that. Yeah, he got really.

[Bill Simmons]

He had to, like, come on the next week to get his back.

[Bill Hader]

He came on the. He was at the. The show that Sarah Palin was at, which was, like, the most watched show my time there was. Most watched show of the. Yeah, like, in the history of the show or something. But, yeah, that. That. I remember that was weird, where. Yeah, he was. He was really upset. I think that was probably of all the impressions I saw, and I don't know. I don't think Palin liked Tina's Palin, you know, which made sense. But my stuff was always, like, I would go to a restaurant and the person would be there, you know, Right. They'd come over and be like, hey, I Didn't like that or whatever. And you're like, oh, sorry.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, somebody would say that to you.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, that happened twice. And then.

[Bill Simmons]

Jesus.

[Bill Hader]

But it wasn't. And then usually it's fine. I would say 98% of the time, it's totally fine. You know? And Elliot Spitzer, I saw him and I like, kind of. It was at this event, and I kind of froze. Like, oh, my God. Elliot Spitzer. And he immediately went, I'm not mad at you. He gave me a hug. And then just about three months ago, I finally met Pacino and I met Al Pacino, and he came up and he was like, oh, my God. That was. I never got a chance to meet you. That was great. Like, he was.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, that's good.

[Bill Hader]

He was so sweet. Like, it was. It was crazy. I was so starstruck. I was like, oh, my God. I called him sir. Sir. Thank you. So nice meeting you, sir. Like, holy shit.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, you ran into Ted Levine, and Ted Levine was furious about Buffalo Bill.

[Bill Hader]

That's been ruining my life. Oh, I don't talk like that.

[Bill Simmons]

Why'd you do that?

[Bill Hader]

You're acting like a big, great, fat person. No, no. Yeah. But, yeah, it was very rare that that happens.

[Bill Simmons]

Next category is best that guy award. And this movie's filled with that guys. But I wanted to shout out, that guy from Breaking Bad is working air traffic controller who ended up having, like, an awesome career. Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

One of the best. Line. Mike from. Yeah, Breaking Bad.

[Craig Rollbeck]

Jonathan Brooks.

[Bill Hader]

Jonathan Brooks.

[Bill Simmons]

No, sorry.

[Craig Rollbeck]

Jonathan Banks.

[Bill Simmons]

Jonathan Banks yet.

[Bill Hader]

Jonathan Banks from also in Midnight Run.

[Bill Simmons]

He's. He's been in a lot of good stuff.

[Bill Hader]

He's. But, yeah, he's got like. He's going from, like, what, 8,000ft to 200,000ft? What an asshole. And then he's great.

[Bill Simmons]

And then the guy who gets sick, who's married to the lady who's, like, Jim never has second cup of coffee.

[Bill Hader]

He's the. He's a dad on Parker Lewis. Can't lose. Right?

[Bill Simmons]

He's the dad in Risky Business.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, that's right. He's the Joel Business. Joel.

[Bill Simmons]

He was the Chancellor in 90210. He's. He was in there for 20 years.

[Bill Hader]

No, he was not on Parker Lewis. Can't lose. Take. Take that back.

[Bill Simmons]

He was Risky Business. Better.

[Bill Hader]

Risky Business. That's way better. I'm thinking of another guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was in Risky Business. And that's. Yeah. Joel.

[Bill Simmons]

So he's our winner because I don't think.

[Bill Hader]

Joel. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Dion Waiter's Award for the best heat check in the movie. Our nominees are Ethel Merman.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Kareem the Jive Guys, Lloyd Bridges or Steven Stucker.

[Bill Hader]

I think Steven Stucker is just.

[Bill Simmons]

I think he means it.

[Bill Hader]

And Steven Stucker wins it because he comes out of nowhere and just. He does. He just owns the movie.

[Bill Simmons]

He starts just stealing scenes out of nowhere.

[Bill Hader]

And you could tell, like, he was in there. He was in the Kentucky Fried Theater with those guys and he's in Kentucky Fried Movie. He's really funny. He's a stenographer in this one sketch, in a courtroom sketch. And you just tell. They just loved him. And they're just like, yeah, do whatever you want.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, go nuts.

[Bill Hader]

And he's on. I mean, for what is arguably one of the funniest movies ever made. He steals one of the funniest movies ever made. Yeah, I think he's one of like the, like, what could have been. He died, unfortunately really young. And he could have been like, massive, that guy. He was so funny.

[Bill Simmons]

Recasting couch, Director City. I'm gonna give you this one as a thought experiment. One more character on the plane, a famous actress, and it's Lynda Carter. We just get Lynda Carter in an airplane for no reason. Just for 90 extra seconds. Maybe there's an autograph thing. Maybe she sits next to Ted and kills herself dressed as Wonder Woman. I don't know. Something just some sort of era specific.

[Bill Hader]

It's always like, oh, era specifically.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, like Cheryl Ladd, Linda Carter, somebody.

[Bill Hader]

Wasn't that usually the part for like.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, it was always like a famous Davis or something.

[Bill Hader]

And then she has like an assistant who's like, yeah, yeah, we needed some.

[Bill Simmons]

Famous thing, all right. Some half ass Internet research. The red zone, white zone scene. They hired the real life married couple who had recorded the announcement tapes at LAX and just had them do it because they couldn't find better actors.

[Bill Hader]

Perfectly normal thing. I mean that. You want me to get an abortion.

[Bill Simmons]

Robert Hayes said the dailies were so funny that the studio had to add a second screening room for the dailies because so many people wanted to come to see the dailies. This was Ethel Merman's final acting role before she died in 1984 at age 76. You mentioned Elmer Bernstein. He did the scores for Ten Commandments, Magnificent Seven, To Kill a Mockingbird, in the Great Escape. And they went to him and they were like, can you do a goofy version of what you're normally. And he just immediately understood what they wanted and banged it out Elmer Bernstein.

[Bill Hader]

Was the first famous person I ever saw in la. Like, the day I moved to Los Angeles, my friend and I.

[Bill Simmons]

Did you recognize him?

[Bill Hader]

So the way we know, we went to this restaurant with his, like. So my friend, his. His cousin worked at Universal. It was like one of those things, like, you moved to la. And it's like, my roommate's cousin works at Universal, so, like, in to get jobs or whatever. And we went to this restaurant and it was like the nicest restaurant I had ever been in. And we were just eating, and this guy was playing the piano. And this older gentleman walked over and starts talking to him. And the guy at the piano goes, get out of here. And he goes, no. And he takes out his driver's license. And it was over. Elber Bernstein. And like, the piano player went, ladies and gentlemen, this is Elmer Bernstein. And he sat down at the piano.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, my God.

[Bill Hader]

Started doing. And I was like, this is what Hollywood is. Like, people just sit out. Like, I had never. And by the way, I'd never seen anything like that since. But he just sat down and like, he showed the guy his ID and then played stuff. And the piano player was like, dude, you're the man.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, yeah, you know what that sounded like in. In the basketball podcast, they always ask, like, lamello ball, be the guest. And I'll be like, what was your welcome to the NBA moment? And it'll be like, oh, I was playing. Lebron dunked on me. That was like, your welcome to Hollywood moment.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, it was my being at a.

[Bill Simmons]

Restaurant with Elmer Bernstein playing the piano.

[Bill Hader]

He just went over and started playing. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Hey, one other research thing. The Kareem was in there because in Zero Hour, they used Elroy. Crazy Legs Hirsch was one of the three pilots. Who is this famous wide receiver in the 50s? He was like the Aman St. Ross St. Brown of the mid-50s. And so that's why they did that. They wanted to do that. And then Crazy Legs, Al White was one of the jive guys. They asked him to write the drive. And he went and got a couple of books. One was on Black English by J.L. dillard. The other was on another one on black language. And he basically created the sentences and just showed them to the Zuckers and Abrahams. They were like, okay, cool, man, do your thing. And he wrote Barbara Billings stuff as well.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, my God.

[Bill Simmons]

So. And then this. This made me laugh for some reason. Jim Abra Abrams said that one joke was cut from the opening montage in the airport a very Attractive woman was walking through the airport. Suddenly she turned and hawked a loogie on the wall. And in the screenings, nobody laughed. So they took it out, but they thought it was like the funniest thing ever. Sounds like they should have put that back in. All right. Apex Mountain, which I wouldn't even bother to explain to you, is that basically peak. Is this the peak of somebody's career? Robert Hayes. So he's on Angie at the same time on abc. Yeah, I'm gonna say yes. Julie Haggerty. It's probably the Albert Brooks movie, right? Modern Problems.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. Lost in America and. Yeah, yeah. Her losing all the money and Lost.

[Bill Simmons]

In America is Lost in America. Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

That's like. She's so good in that movie.

[Bill Simmons]

The Zucker's and Abrahams, as a. As a combo, probably Naked Gun, just because now they had that police squad and Airplane under their belt.

[Bill Hader]

And I feel like I don't. Yeah, I mean, Naked Gun's pretty amazing, but to me, it's. This one's the one that's like, well.

[Bill Simmons]

When do you think they had their most juice to do whatever they wanted? Because that's kind of the category.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, I see. But I mean, Airplane, it's hard for me because for me, Airplane and Naked Gun are very. It's like. It's like the two.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, you're right. It might be kind of like.

[Bill Hader]

It's like I can't. It's like, I can't say one is better than the other because they're both so special. But I. I definitely think this one. I mean, when you do a movie that kind of like, changes the thing, like, you know, you look at comedy differently. It's kind of hard to.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, it's fair. How about. How about spoof movies? Did we peak with this one? Was this the best one we've ever made?

[Bill Hader]

I don't know. It's pretty amazing. I mean, Airplane's great. Naked Guns, great. I mean, I. I really. You know, Young Frankenstein, when I was a kid, I thought that. I mean, that movie.

[Bill Simmons]

I'd vote for Airplane. Steven Stucker. Yes. Kareem. We covered. Yes. Lorna Patterson. Unfortunately. Yes. Unexpected movie nudity in an 80s movie.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, it's just a breast that come across.

[Bill Simmons]

I was almost thinking, like, this summer. Yeah, we have the. The. All of a sudden we have bouncing breasts. We have. In Caddyshack, they sneak in a couple and then the Shining.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, Shining. Yeah. Caddyshack, though. It's like they actually tried to make it like. Like a real love scene. With Michael.

[Bill Simmons]

Right. Like a raunchy, sexy.

[Bill Hader]

Like an actual. Like it was like dissolved. Evolves and the everything. But this was almost like, okay, here's a pair of tits. Because we're supposed. We have to have a pair of tits in the movie. It's so gratuitous and stupid.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

Also what I like about that is like it comes across. It makes no sense. There's no sense for it to be in the movie. And then it cuts those two guys sword fighting. Like two packages are sword fighting. And it's just kind of like everything goes crazy. And for. It's like, all right, yeah, here's the action. Here's everything, you guys, right? It's like it made no sense. So. Yeah, I like it. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Inflatable pilots, definitely. I have a section on that later. Bridges and Cult. No. And then the last one, lovable Elaine's. The nominees would be Elaine Bennis and Seinfeld or Elaine in this movie. I stole my hearts with Elaine. An airplane.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. She's pretty great. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay, next category. Cruise or Hanks. You can have either of them in this movie, in any role at any point in their life.

[Bill Hader]

I mean, Cruz, just because if you. If Cruise play. Because Tom Hanks did so much comedy and everything and he can do everything with Cruz being really like serious. Cruise would be pretty funny.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Initially I thought Hanks is Ted Striker. That's no brainer. Like early mid-80s Hanks, he's just playing it straight.

[Bill Hader]

Kind of funny about him. But yeah, it's like, yeah, I guess, maybe, but I like.

[Bill Simmons]

No, you're right. The answer is Cruz in like the Robert. Robert Stack part or something.

[Bill Hader]

Thunder era Cruise and something would be really funny in this. You know, it's just the whole. It's all there.

[Bill Simmons]

How about Scorsese or Spielberg? Only one of them can direct us. Yeah, just one. You have to pick.

[Bill Hader]

I don't know, man. That's a tough one. I mean, they both would make. I mean, part of what's so great about it is that it looks janky, you know, it's gotta be, you know, I mean, the thing is, like, when they both have done comedies, like, you know, it's like Spielberg when he does 1941, it's so fun, but it's so bombastic, you know?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

So crazy.

[Bill Simmons]

I picked Spielberg because it's.

[Bill Hader]

And of Scorsese did it. There would be some sort of Catholicism, you know, or whatever. I don't know. Yeah, Spielberg, I guess. Yeah. If I had to pick one. Spielberg.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. I said Spielberg because he had kind of done this in 1941, you know, and he could have blown out. All right, so normally, this next category is, what role would Philip Seymour Hoffman have played? I have to flip it, because you're on here. What role would you want? Would you have wanted to play? If Time Machine. You could go backwards and play any role in the movie at any point in your career. What do you pick?

[Bill Hader]

I. I mean, I would love to be Lloyd Bridges in the movie, because I just think he just. I just like him, just. And that he got to play this guy who's like, he starts out calm, and then you watch him just slowly go. That's always. That's very fun to do. You know, where he starts off like he's really got it together and he's the guy in charge. And then he just. By the end of it, he's hanging. It's upside down, snorting glue and stuff. That'd be really fun. I gotta say, Bridges I. In Hot Shots. He is very underrated in Hot Shots. He's so funny in that movie.

[Bill Simmons]

I gotta say, I'm shocked. I thought you were gonna do a different. Have a different choice. I thought for sure you would have been Peter Graves.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, no, no. I, I. Peter Graves is great, and Leslie Nielsen is great, but I just like Lloyd Bridges.

[Bill Simmons]

I thought you would have wanted to be in the cockpit and just rattling offlines, like, no, no. Would you ever been in a Turkish prison? Get to hang out with Kareem?

[Bill Hader]

I got to do so many. I. Here's the thing. I've done things where you're in a cockpit before.

[Bill Simmons]

You want to get out.

[Bill Hader]

It gets old fast. Or you're like, dude, this is claustrophobic. Can I go to the bathroom? No, no, you can't go anywhere. You know, in the newsroom, you get to hang out, you get to sit down. Like, you get to, like, you know, all that. But it really is just that character really goes off the rails. He gets to jump out a window. Like, he really goes nuts. And that's really funny.

[Bill Simmons]

All right, pick a nuts. So Ted fought in World War II, Korea. What war was he in? And he's like, 27, but it's 1980. Was it supposed to be Vietnam? What's happening?

[Bill Hader]

And all the flashbacks are from World War II, but also, like, during the inventions of planes. And I forget what the thing was. But then remember when he says, like, attacking their flanks and blah, blah, blah, she'd be like, oh, when are you leaving? He goes, I can't tell you that's classified. After he's told her the entire mission. But I forget what the mission is, but I think it's World War. It's supposed to be World War II, I think.

[Bill Simmons]

So the little girl, when the. In the singing scene and they knock out, like, the tubes and she immediately starts convulsing, that probably should have been just an oxygen mask, right?

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Why would she start convulsing? Because the tube got like, what. What was. What was being fed into her body?

[Bill Hader]

I don't know. But I think visually it's nice to see that thing go and like.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Hader]

And then you want to see her face making those faces on. You can't see her face. And it's kind of probably more disturbing.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

You get to see her do a silly face. Because I'm sure. I'm just guessing, but it's like, all right, we're doing a bit, and the joke is that a kid dies. Like, we gotta make sure it's silly. Yeah, let her do that. Stupid. Like, stupid.

[Bill Simmons]

This is why we call it picking.

[Bill Hader]

Nits, you know, I think that's why. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Wouldn't the. The poison fish have made people throw up or have diarrhea? Like one of them better? Like, it seemed like that. It was almost like all the pastures were roofied by the fish. But I think in real life, it's just like. I think the bathroom is just getting annihilated.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. Just be throwing up or sick, but it wouldn't be passing out. And. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

You'd be like, I don't feel good.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. Yeah. Just like us. And it wouldn't have happened that fast either, I think.

[Bill Simmons]

No. And then where did they put all the sick people? Wasn't a giant plane. I was at some point. You have all three pilots.

[Bill Hader]

When I was a kid, I honestly thought they were throwing them out of the plane. When I was a kid, I was like, oh, my God, they just threw cream out of the plane into, like, the ocean.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

Oh. I also like the scene when Robert goes, all right, all right. So we're going to show you everybody. Okay. So, Ted, have you ever flown this kind of plane before? And he goes, no. And he goes, jesus Christ, we're fucked. Just route him into Lake Michigan. Better than killing a bunch of innocent people. Like, there's been this buildup that Robert Stacks, the guy who can save the day, and out of the gate he's like, fuck it. This isn't.

[Bill Simmons]

Sequel prequel. Prestige tv all by cast are untouchable. So they did make a sequel. I Like the sequel, I'm in the. I know different people made it, but I think the sequel, even though they're running back a lot of the bits, I think it has some funny moments.

[Bill Hader]

I don't think I ever saw the sequel. I think I kind of stayed away from it because I liked the original so much.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, it's not bad.

[Bill Hader]

And I think I was so kind of like, oh, did the original people have something to do with it? And if they didn't, I was like.

[Bill Simmons]

You had real honor, even as a little kid.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, even as a kid. I was like a. Like a insufferable movie geek.

[Bill Simmons]

They had. They reenacted the slapping scene, but it was with somebody who's like, I can't believe I'm gonna die a virgin.

[Bill Hader]

Oh.

[Bill Simmons]

And then it was just the same line of guys, but so it's a couple, like, the job guys were in it.

[Bill Hader]

Space.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, they're going to space, all right. The cockpit guys back. That was the funniest part in Airplane, too, was the guy. The little kid brings a dog in. Scraps. And Peter. Peter Graves is like, do you like when Scraps rubs up and down your leg and he does that? They kind of took it up a notch. Next category. Is this movie Better with Wayne Jenkins, Danny Treya, Mad Dog Russo, Doris Burke, Buffalo Bill, Sam Jackson, Nell Byron Mayo, Tony Romo, Chris Collinsworth, Daniel Plainview, Long Legs or Wilford Brimley in the Firm. I think Buffalo Bill would have been nice.

[Bill Hader]

Chris Collinsworth.

[Bill Simmons]

Chris Collinsworth. You want to do that one?

[Bill Hader]

Chris Collinsworth being like, oh, the fish, you know?

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, man, I had the fish, and it's making me sick.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, it's making me real sick. Oh, man. Oh, God.

[Bill Simmons]

Just one Oscar. Who gets it? The writing?

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. I mean, I don't know. The writing's pretty great. And I would. I mean, I would have Leslie Nielsen up there as like, a supporting actor.

[Bill Simmons]

Best supporting actor. Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

He's so.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, as you know, they don't respect comedy in the Oscars.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, that was when I first was like, I don't know about these Oscars when I was a kid, because I assumed when I was nine, after I saw Planes, Trains and Automobiles, that John Candy was going to win an Oscar. I was like, oh, he's going to win an Oscar. I laughed super hard, and at the end, he made me cry. He's going to win an Oscar, you know? And then I saw it, and I was like, what the hell is this? Yeah, yeah. And it was. Yeah, it was Sean Connery. For the Untouchables. And I remember, like, looking at my dad, and I was like, john. John Candy wasn't even nominated. And my dad's like, no. And I go, why? And he goes there? And he said, in Tulsa, Oklahoma, in 1987, he was like, they don't like comedies.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

Like, he just knew it.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, okay, yeah, still the case.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, still the case.

[Bill Simmons]

Probably unanswerable questions. So did planes actually have inflatable pilots in 1980, or did they make that up?

[Bill Hader]

I think they made that. I think. I'm assuming they made that up, but.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know, because I would also believe it if it was. I know they tried it, or maybe.

[Bill Hader]

They tried it and then. Yeah, too many people were giving it blowjobs and they had.

[Bill Simmons]

That was it. This is a great one. This question actually is unanswerable. The nude scene that we mentioned earlier, the topless scene, nobody knows who the actress was. And this actress who was like a soft playmate, a softcore porn person named Kitten, the TV dad claimed to have done it. But then on the Internet, you can find people debunking this and talking about her body type and breast size. It definitely wasn't her. And it's just this mystery who did this. And I could not. I actually was like, I'm going to fudge it. Find out who. And I couldn't find it. So we'll never know.

[Bill Hader]

I think it's best left and left to the. Yeah, left. The imagination.

[Bill Simmons]

Can you imagine if it was, like, somebody's grandmother and she's like, hey, did you ever see the movie Airplane?

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. It's like this weird secret she's holding on to people who killed Jimmy Hoffa. Just. Just like, oh, you are watching Airplane in there.

[Bill Simmons]

Why don't you want to watch this, grandma?

[Bill Hader]

Oh, it's all right. Like, that's putting you through school. You don't know it.

[Bill Simmons]

What piece of memorabilia would you want or not want from this movie? If you could take anything?

[Bill Hader]

I would like the model of the plane, like the one that they're using. Anytime it cuts to the exterior.

[Bill Simmons]

That's a good. That's a good answer.

[Bill Hader]

I would like that. I think that'd be fun.

[Bill Simmons]

I wanted the automatic pilot auto.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

But apparently they said it was in Jerry Zucker's garage for years and it disintegrated. And they didn't realize it. Just like, it became, like, rubber dust. So she's. Auto's gone, and they only had one version of it. Coach Finstock award for best Life lesson, I would say, just don't forget to zag when you're making a movie. These guys zagged on using Playing actors, playing it straight over Dune comedy.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. They just kind of stuck to their instincts, you know, and the fact that they just stuck to the instincts and made something new. And you see that, like, now, like, you see someone like Nathan Fielder or Tim Robinson, like, those are guys that, when I look at their stuff, I'm like, oh, man. They are just making what they find funny. It's like they can't help it, but.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Bill Hader]

Come out that way, you know? And that. And I always. I always find those. Those things really inspiring.

[Bill Simmons]

Best double feature choice. You'd go Naked Gun.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, I think Airplane Gun. Yeah, that's. I mean, that might be just too much, because if you're laughing so much during Airplane and then you try to do another one, or maybe it's zero.

[Bill Simmons]

Hour in an airplane.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, yeah, it's zero hour. And then Airplane might be really fun, you know, to do that.

[Bill Simmons]

All right, who won the movie?

[Bill Hader]

I. I'm gonna. I mean, Steve stuck. I just love him so much in the movie. But Leslie Nielsen or him. I would say that.

[Bill Simmons]

I would. Thought I was gonna say the Zuckers and Jim, but I. I actually. Because I think they did win in a lot of ways, because then it parlayed it into a bunch of other things.

[Bill Hader]

Totally.

[Bill Simmons]

But I think it's Leslie Nielsen.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Because it completely changed his career. And then he ended up getting another 20 years out of doing this, too.

[Bill Hader]

But I'm happy that people got to see Steve Sucker. Like, what that dude was, you know? And I think I just have heard other things about him where people are like, do you have no idea how funny that guy was? Like, seeing him live and doing shit. Like, he was somebody that, you know, you. When you meet other people. And so it's so great that you have a record of, like, oh, that guy was. Look how funny that dude was. Right.

[Bill Simmons]

So we got to bring in. I always bring in producer Craig at the end for his take. Especially when it gets to movies from the 80s. Gets super exciting. Craig, you have to join the zoom. There he is.

[Craig Rollbeck]

I actually have seen this movie many times. This is a movie that my dad showed me growing up that I just adore because I grew up. I grew up in basically the early 2000s was when I was starting to watch comedy movies. So I was kind of around the last great era of comedy movies. And so I was still trained to love comedy movies. And it was Something that I was still seeking out. So. This movie's awesome. I mean, this and Naked Gun just the. The jokes per million jokes per minute style is something that. Like, the hard joke style is something that is completely gone now. And I love it. I just love it.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, it's so good. True. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it's funny because Woody Allen did stuff for, like, Love and Death. There's a Woody Allen movie called Love and Death that. That is really silly. Like, he did those silly movies, and he would cast people that weren't comedians in, like, smaller roles, but he was always the lead of it. So you're always kind of like, okay, there's Woody Allen being Woody Allen or whatever.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Bill Hader]

And. But they were silly movies, but this one is the one where it, like. Yeah, he. They changed the whole. It changed the whole game. And, like, what you're saying, Craig, like, hard jokes, you know, it was like, yeah, you see it on tv, you know, like, you can still watch south park and see, like, them do jokes, you know?

[Craig Rollbeck]

Yeah. Or even, like, Veep had a lot.

[Bill Hader]

Of just, like, hard jokes. Yeah, totally.

[Craig Rollbeck]

But it's going away now, and I don't know, it's, you know, Paramount, all these major studios taking risks on these movies. It's just great. You know, I think the idea now is that you need a movie to appeal to everybody, and they won't make it unless they think it can appeal to everybody. But I almost think you should go the other way.

[Bill Simmons]

And if comedies are coming back, I hope. I feel like it's gonna happen.

[Bill Hader]

Well, it's also like. What you're saying, Craig, too, is like, it used to be, you know, I'm sure if you go through how many movies were made in the 80s, and I remember when I was, like, late 2000s, when I was going out and, like, you know, meeting on movies and stuff, there was so many things getting made. It was like, you know, and now it's just kind of like. I mean, this is like. It's like we're gonna put all our eggs and, like, these four baskets. And so they have to work.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Bill Hader]

And if they don't work, we are so, you know, so there's so much pressure and everything on those movies working. And it's like, you know, when I worked at a movie theater in the late 90s, you go like, oh, there's, like, indie movies next to, like, Armageddon. And then, you know, this movie, there was such a variety of it, and now you have that on, like, a streaming service. And now I Watch my tv, kids. And it's like so overwhelming. There's like a mile of those choices, you know, so it's just a different. It's a different world right now. But I hope, I do hope that it was such a nice thing going and seeing that Naked Gun movie and taking my kids and people laughing in the theater and how weird that was to be like, oh, I haven't heard people laughing at the theater like this in a long time.

[Craig Rollbeck]

I also just. I respect that Paramount like this movie. You guys are talking about how it feels low budget and it is low budget, but it also makes the movie better. Like, there are. There's a. Is it. Is his name Robert Stack? Is that the actor?

[Bill Hader]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Craig Rollbeck]

When he's walking through fighting everybody as they try to, like, pin flowers on him and give him clothes in the airport, you can see boom mics and you can see the pads on the ground that he's like, flipping people onto. But it. It's okay. And they understand it's silly and it plays into it. To me, it's just. That's just something that would never fly now. And I. I really respect it back then.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, yeah. They're just. People want their. It's just hard. Yeah. Because I get on the other end of it is you hire these techniques, technicians to be in the movie and they want their stuff to be good, you know, good. It costs money. So you have like a DP that's like. You can't go to your cinematographer and be like, hey, could we make it look kind of shitty? He's like, no, my name's going to be on any. You know, it's going to be, you know. Or I. Yeah, I mean, a good dp, like, I have Paolo, We Dobro and the first two seasons of Barry, and she made everything look way better than. I learned so much from her, you know, so it's like, I get it, you know, but it's just so expensive now, you know, that's why it's all on television.

[Craig Rollbeck]

Can I point out one scene that you guys didn't. That is quietly one of my favorite scenes in the movie. You could kind of use the Sean Penn. I brought my own Pack award for excellence in on screen smoking. But the scene right after the blowjob with the autopilot and it just cuts to Julie Haggerty and the. And the pilot, the. The blow up doll just awkwardly sitting next to each other and you can feel the tension between them and they're both smoking and she gives him like a glaring Look.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Craig Rollbeck]

And it's just. You just hear, like the hum of the plane. It's just a shot of them for like five seconds, I think.

[Bill Simmons]

Craig, would you have squeezed Danny McBride into this movie?

[Craig Rollbeck]

I'd squeeze Danny McBride into every movie.

[Bill Simmons]

That's. Craig loves when Danny McBride pops in the movies.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, that's funny.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, he could. He could have.

[Bill Hader]

I don't.

[Bill Simmons]

That's the thing is nobody would have. There was no room for a Danny McBride because they didn't want, like, he's so basically, Steven Stucker's the only one who's allowed to do stuff like that.

[Bill Hader]

Yeah, yeah, it's. It's kind of like. Yeah, I guess Steven Stucker is the other him and Jimmy Walker. And I think that's a really. That was a famous stand up comedian, too, or a big comedian at that time. Who's the guy in the. The Ethel Merman scene? You remember? It's like, oh, that's so. And so he thinks he's still. And he's like, I found a hole.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was like a Gong show guy.

[Bill Hader]

I remember that guy and stuff like that. So I think there was a couple of comedy people in it, but, yeah, Danny would just. I. I don't know what he would have done in it.

[Craig Rollbeck]

Has your son seen this movie? Bill? Has Ben seen it?

[Bill Hader]

Who?

[Bill Simmons]

My son? Yeah. Yeah. Wait. I threw this one at the kids pretty early. Probably a little too early, but, you know. Yeah. That they. The cockpit stuff really plays. It just does the Turkish, The. The gymnasium, all that stuff. Because then we could just do the lines. Anything where you can do the lines after you see the movie. Around the house is always a big way.

[Bill Hader]

You like movies about gladiators? I mean, Turkish prison is, you know, I guess, referencing Midnight Express.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Bill Hader]

Guys go to Turkish prison and have sex with each other. I mean. Yeah, it's really. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I thought Naked Gun did better with my kids, though, than. Than Airplane.

[Bill Hader]

Oh, my God. Naked Gun. With the beginning when OJ Gets shot and he, like, falls in the paint and then the cake and everything. My kids, like, lost their minds at that. I thought it was really funny. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

All right, well, this podcast was produced by Craig Rollbeck. Thanks to Gahao and Ronick as well, and thanks to Bill Hader. Next time. Next time we have to do this in the studio. Yeah, we'll bring a third person. It was great to see you. Thanks for coming on. Appreciate it. All right, we'll see you next week in the rewatchables.