‘GoldenEye’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Sean Fennessey

Summary

The Rewatchables — ‘GoldenEye’ (1995)

With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Sean Fennessey – February 17, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Sean Fennessey (with contributions from Craig and Dan Campbell) dissect GoldenEye (1995) — Pierce Brosnan’s Bond debut and a reinvention point for the iconic franchise. The group analyzes the film’s balance of classic Bond elements and ’90s modernity, Brosnan's casting journey, the game-changing influence of the GoldenEye video game, and GoldenEye’s place in pop culture between the Cold War and tech paranoia. Expect heated Bond debates, 1990s nostalgia, and a full serving of Rewatchables categories, including their now-famous side tangents.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Generational Bonds: Rankings and Debates

• Simmons opens by listing his generational "top four" Bond films: Goldfinger, The Spy Who Loved Me, GoldenEye, and Casino Royale (02:14).
  • Chris Ryan: "That's like the Dr. J, Michael Jordan, Kobe..." (02:45)
• Lively disagreement about favorites: Dan Campbell prefers Skyfall and From Russia with Love; Chris loves Skyfall for its seriousness but values GoldenEye's fun, balanced tone (03:36–03:48).
• They explore generational preferences and how nostalgia, access, and theatrical viewing affect perceptions, especially with the Bond films' unique TV syndication history (04:06–05:42).

The Bond Legacy & Reinvention

• Dan Campbell didn't grow up as a "Bond Guy," only really digging in during the Craig era. Both he and Simmons feel like outsiders compared to hardcore fans (04:08–04:56).
• Chris: “TBS Bond marathon was a staple...” but half-remembered movies due to constant TV marathons, blending plots and Bond girls (05:13–05:46).
• The shadow of Sean Connery loomed over every subsequent Bond; expectations have always been framed in "peak Connery" discourse (06:27–07:23).

The Brosnan Era & Hollywood Backstory

• Brosnan was long “fated” to be Bond, but was locked into Remington Steele. Legal back-and-forth, studio drama, and a six-year hiatus impacted the eventual casting (13:22–14:51).
• Insightful Hollywood history: MGM’s financial woes, the Broccoli family’s control, and corporate battles over Bond rights (14:59–17:22).
• The Amazon acquisition of MGM and what new ownership likely means for the future of the franchise, including the impending Denis Villeneuve Bond film and casting speculation (17:28–18:15).

Influence of Mission Impossible & Bourne on Modern Bond

• GoldenEye is contextualized as a transitional moment after the Cold War and before the genre was upended by Mission: Impossible and Bourne: “Mission Impossible grabbed the mantle and kind of ran with it… and Tom Cruise has just spent the last 30 years upping the ante… that’s why the Craig movies became so much more about the psychology…” (07:43–08:33).
• Discussion on the “Nokia Wave” – the rise of techno-thriller tropes and Bond’s struggle to keep up with new cinematic language and technology-driven plots (08:33–09:22).

GoldenEye's Enduring Pop Culture Legacy

• The N64 GoldenEye video game gets lengthy discussion and credit for the film’s staying power, described as “ground zero for all the [first-person shooter] games that came after” (10:15–12:00).
  • Chris Ryan: “This game had multiplayer, so you could sit there with your friends and get stoned and listen to Wu-Tang Clan, which I did, and play GoldenEye for eight hours.” (10:26)
• Reflections on how the game could have outlived the movie itself in impact (12:39–12:56).

The “Bond Elements Checklist” – How Classic Is GoldenEye?

• First Bond post–USSR, first use of CGI, first female M (Judi Dench), and “audible” from Fleming’s source stories — GoldenEye is foundational for the modern franchise (21:33–22:35).
• Chris: “To me, GoldenEye is right where I want it to be. It’s not too goofy in camp, but it is not as trauma Bond as some of the leap year Craig stuff. And that’s why I think it’s like one of the more rewatchable and one of the more entertaining Bonds.” (03:48)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Brosnan as Bond:
  • "He checked every James Bond box. And then when James Bond finally became available in 86… they renewed the show and it was like an actual Hollywood story." — Bill Simmons (13:48)
• On the Video Game’s Importance:
  • “It’s the first mainstream non-gamer first-person shooter… But also with the multiplayer thing. It basically like this is ground zero for all the games that came after.” — Bill Simmons (11:48)
  • “Honestly, the happiest I’ve ever just created DVDs. This really was unbelievable. You just do dumb shit and not be judged.” — Bill Simmons (10:44)
• On Bond Girl Iconography:
  • “Famke Janssen... easily in the top ten Bond girls for me. Easily.” — Dan Campbell (22:54)
  • “It's funny — there's a question of whether she counts as a Bond girl because she's also a villain.” — Bill Simmons (22:58)
• On the Film’s Structure and Pacing:
  • “The actual mission of the movie does not get introduced until 45 minutes in, which is atypical for Bond.” — Chris Ryan (30:52)
• On the Tank Chase:
  • “This scene is just fucking awesome.” — Bill Simmons (45:27)
• On the ‘90s-ness of GoldenEye:
  • “I had the computer hacking and the computers. I had harmless sexual tension at work. [And] Tina Turner doing a theme song written by Bono & the Edge.” — Bill Simmons (49:28)
• On the Bond Franchise’s Durability:
  • “They’ve done a great job… where it’s like even as maybe the interest in the franchise wanes… they’re just really good at creating a trade deadline of like who are we going to pick up to play Bond? And it turns into something that’s bigger than the movies themselves.” — Chris Ryan (16:57)

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Essential Timestamps for Segments & Major Topics

• Best Bond Films & Generational Divide: 02:14–04:06
• Brosnan’s Journey to Bond, MGM Drama: 13:20–15:38
• Video Game Legacy: 09:40–12:56
• Bond Girl Rankings & Sex Appeal: 22:35–24:45
• Bond Reinventions, Competition with Bourne/Mission Impossible: 07:43–08:33
• Opening Bungee/Plane Stunt: 33:16–36:19
• Tank Chase Scene: 45:27–46:39
• '90s Elements and Sponsorships (BMW, Perrier, IBM): 49:15–53:17
• Bond Franchise Ownership/Future: 17:17–18:15
• Rewatchables Categories Begin: 32:15 onwards

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Rewatchables Traditional Categories (Highlights)

• Most Rewatchable Scene:
  • Opening bungee jump and dam infiltration (33:16)
  • Tank chase through St. Petersburg (45:27)
  • Casino/Backarat with Xenia Onatopp (37:51)
• What’s Aged the Best/Worst:
  • Best: The N64 game, “killing someone with your legs during sex as a female villain move,” Russian villains, the organic sponsorship integrations (51:31)
  • Worst: Gadget scene underwhelming, weak plotting, confusing mid-‘90s computer hacking, Tina Turner’s theme song (64:27)
• Casting What-Ifs:
  • Mel Gibson, Hugh Grant, Colin Farrell "what if" as Bond; Alan Rickman and Anthony Hopkins nearly as 006/Sean Bean's role (74:34)
• Best Character Name:
  • "Xenia Onatopp" (59:06)
• Apex Mountain:
  • Brosnan’s Bond, the BMW Z3, and the video game (84:00)
• Internet Research & Trivia:
  • Goldeneye house & WWII operation, 90,000 cans of Perrier, and more (82:33)

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Fun Side Tangents & Moments

• Comparison of Bond actors with NBA centers (53:17)
• Name tangents: “Joe Don Baker” becomes the platonic ideal of a great movie name (100:06)
• They debate secret screenwriter use of ChatGPT (103:50)
• Bond as a “great date movie,” and the possibility of Bond being read as queer (98:41)
• Zane Lowe impression by Chris Ryan (95:59), off-kilter but hilarious

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Final Thoughts

• Bond’s Enduring Appeal: The crew agrees that GoldenEye successfully revitalized Bond for a new era, partly due to Brosnan’s "AI-generated Bond" energy and partly through a precise “Bond as a brand checklist.”
• The Ultimate Rewatchable: In a crowded field, GoldenEye is "one of the most entertaining" due to its balance — still fun, not too dark, but with just enough edge and legacy.
  • "This is what you go to the movies for. Hot people, sprawling… Going to countries, fancy cities, casinos… The first 12 minutes… super fun." — Craig (107:30)
• Winner of the Movie:
  • "Pierce Brosnan." (107:06)
  • Also: The Bond franchise itself, rejuvenated for decades to come.

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For listeners who might never watch GoldenEye (or haven’t in years), this episode captures both the surface fun and the deeper movie history of a pivotal Bond — as well as the pop-culture web it spun, from N64 to Austin Powers, with plenty of laughs along the way.

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Compiled & summarized using the original speakers’ language and tone for full Rewatchables authenticity.

Transcript

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[Bill Simmons]

This episode is brought to you by TaxAct. Like an expert coach, TaxAct offers step by step guidance and guaranteed accuracy when filing taxes. Get tips along the way. Add expert Assist to talk to tax experts and let our experts do your taxes for you. With Expert full service, TaxAct helps you find the deductions and credits you deserve so you can get them over with. Visit taxact.com to learn more. Conditions apply. See taxact.com for details. The rewatchables is brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network where you can find the Big Picture with Sean Fennessy. Yeah, you find the Watch the Small Picture with Chris Ryan. What are you watching these days? C.R.

[Chris Ryan]

Little industry. We're watching the Pit. We're watching Night of the Seven Kingdoms.

[Bill Simmons]

Industry is just a depraved show.

[Chris Ryan]

It really is. It's really the really sexually volatile, one.

[Bill Simmons]

Of the most volatile shows that's ever been created.

[Dan Campbell]

I gotta say, Night of the Seven Kingdoms A yeah, man, I'm having a great time. I haven't enjoyed a TV show like that in 10 years.

[Chris Ryan]

Home Run episode last night. If this is going up on Monday.

[Bill Simmons]

You know what else is going up on Monday?

[Chris Ryan]

It's a golden eye.

[Bill Simmons]

GoldenEye is next. Goldeneye 1995. James Bond, Pierce Brosnan. Best Bond movies by era. Here's my list. Goldfinger, Spy who Loved Me, Goldeneye, Casino Royale. Fight Me.

[Chris Ryan]

So this is for the actors.

[Bill Simmons]

Just those I think are the four generationally the best. That's like the Dr. J. Michael Jordan, Kobe.

[Chris Ryan]

Are you a Majesty Secret Service person?

[Dan Campbell]

I don't Think I agree with any of those.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, that's why. That's why I said fight me.

[Dan Campbell]

That's interesting.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, because you like Skyfall.

[Dan Campbell]

Skyfall would be my favorite Craig Bond, I think From Russia with Love is my favorite Connery.

[Chris Ryan]

That's probably the best Connery I like. You Only Live Twice for the gadgets. That's the Japan one, right?

[Dan Campbell]

That one's fun. I have a soft spot for Moonraker, so Moonwreaker.

[Bill Simmons]

Critically reviled, but I loved it too, because I saw it when I was 10 and I just thought Jaws was the scariest. And plus it was like a Star wars kind of parody almost.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah, it's like a Star wars ripoff. And it's really silly, but it's very fun.

[Chris Ryan]

I thought Moonraker was gonna be the end of Bond. I mean, obviously I didn't like when I was watching them, I was just like, this has to be where it ends in space.

[Bill Simmons]

So what's your favorite?

[Chris Ryan]

Skyfall. It's my favorite James movie.

[Dan Campbell]

Skyfall. Casino Royale is darn good. And it's interesting that you've got two Martin Campbell movies on your list.

[Bill Simmons]

I know. Yeah, I know. I didn't fully realize you're doing it by era.

[Chris Ryan]

I'm doing it by silliness to seriousness. And to me, goldeneye is right where I want it to be. It's not too goofy in camp, but it is not as like trauma Bond as some of the leap year Craig stuff. And that's why I think it's like one of the more rewatchable and one of the more entertaining Bonds.

[Bill Simmons]

What's your relationship with the Bond series?

[Dan Campbell]

Was not a Bond guy for years and years. Wasn't raised with it. I think we talked about it a little bit when we talked about Casino Royale. I'm not an Anglophile. I never read the books and I think I. This is the first Bond movie I ever saw. But I don't know that I like raced out to see the other Brosnan Bonds. And it was the Craig movies that really got me into it and then digging back in and exploring. And over the years I've gotten more interested in it, especially doing a lot of conversations about Bond as the Craig era ended. But I think I've really come to appreciate its charms in the last three or four years. It's been helpful, you know, to be talking about it regularly and to learn more. It's great movie history. There's so much interesting stuff that has, you know, happened across 60 years of the franchise that I find Fun. But I'm not. I'm not like a Bondologist. I don't know everything about it. So it's actually. I'm a little bit on the outside of it.

[Bill Simmons]

That's how. That's where I am as well. Because even growing up. But Roger Moore was probably my peak Bond because we saw those movies in the theater. But they were just those movies and westerns just seemed like they were on all the time.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, the.

[Bill Simmons]

And that's how I kind of. My experience with them was just jumping into them as a kid during different parts.

[Chris Ryan]

The TBS Bond marathon was a staple of my.

[Bill Simmons]

But even before that, when it was like the look. What was your local Philly channel that showed movies?

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, channel like mid 17 did like.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, we had like 56. And it was just. They would have Bond movies on.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, I mean, I remember. I think one of the reasons why sometimes I can't quite identify specific Bond movies is because my memory of them is being on for nine hours during a day in the summer and coming in and being like, oh, like he's having sex with twins. Oh, like, yeah, he jumped out of a hot air balloon.

[Dan Campbell]

Like. And that normalized that behavior for you going forward.

[Chris Ryan]

I guess this is what espionage is. But yeah, like, I really enjoy these movies. I think that they are. I like, appreciate them exactly the right amount one time, I think whether it was camera when we talked about this, but I was like starting to get into like some of the theories around Bond and like people trying to basically create a text for the entire characters in the films. And I was like, it doesn't really support this. You don't really have to think that hard about it. I think it helps to just have a one and done for each movie relationship and not worry about whether or not this is actually. The character has been played by many men who have to become James Bond when they get this job.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. But there was a big Connery shadow over this franchise the entire time I grew up. And it was almost like how people talk about the NBA now, where it's like it was better in the Jordan era or like the Barkley guys on Inside.

[Chris Ryan]

It was always like, before Bond was tanking.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. It was like, yeah, yeah. But it was like, oh, yeah. I mean, whatever. It peaked with Connery. I'll never. Connery is the best Bond ever. And then I remember when he came back as kind of older James Bond. That was a big deal. Roger Moore. It seems like people turned on that.

[Chris Ryan]

Never say never which bought it was.

[Dan Campbell]

1983 when Connor comes back in 71 after taking on Her Majesty's Secret Service off.

[Bill Simmons]

And he comes back for Lazambique came in on that.

[Dan Campbell]

He comes in for Diamonds are forever in 71 and then he comes back 12 years later.

[Bill Simmons]

That was the one. And it was a big deal that.

[Dan Campbell]

He was back, but he's got in 71. 83. The rug is going so hard. Like it's the most obvious rug in movie history.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, it's funny, all these movies are on Netflix now and you could go back now and watch an ad and it just looks like he has the fairway from the 15th hole in his head.

[Dan Campbell]

It's incredible phrasing it the 83 one.

[Bill Simmons]

It really is.

[Chris Ryan]

And it's just like 23 chicks just being like, hey, how's it going? Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Do we think as this, as this franchise evolved, do we think Mission Impossible and Bourne cut the legs out of this franchise? I think that's a fair thing to say.

[Dan Campbell]

I do, I do. I think when you look specifically at GoldenEye and you see the kind of stunt work that is being done in GoldenEye, which is excellent, Mission Impossible grabbed the mantle and kind of ran with it and Mission Impossible 1 comes out one year later and Tom Cruise has just spent the last 30 years upping the ante every time and it's a little hard. And I think that's one of the reasons why the Craig movies became so much more about the psychology and the kind of the damaged history of England and the Bond character and the, the way that they're intertwined because they kind of couldn't go too much further to your point about like Moonraker felt like the end because they had pushed it so far so many times.

[Chris Ryan]

It's interesting too because I think I mentioned this when we did a Bourne movie on rewatchables, but there was this like, it's since been called like Nokia Wave or Nokia Wave, which is like a kind of techno friendly thriller from this era that the Mission Impossible and Bore movies really perfect with, you know, like the hard case laptops and like early surveillance and like hackers and stuff like that. And I think there's some fun stuff with that in this movie. But Bond is, is Q and Q is this pen will explode. He's not like I'm hacking. He's not like we can do it's.

[Bill Simmons]

Gadgets and girls face masks and a.

[Chris Ryan]

Couple chasing like the way that Ethan Hunt. It was cards.

[Dan Campbell]

I mean, we don't know what it's going to be now because they did do this, Craig. Run. And now there's going to be a new Bond, obviously, that Denis Villeneuve is making a film of. We don't know who it is.

[Chris Ryan]

I think it's Callum Turner.

[Dan Campbell]

It seems like Callum Turner, but, like, what are they going to do to reinvent having. This was the fourth reinvention of Bond with Brosnan. The fifth. The fifth reinvention of Bond. And number seven is going to be really challenging.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

What's your relationship with Bond, Craig?

[Craig]

The Video Game, 1997. I think I got an N64A. I think it was a GoldenEye game. Came out.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Craig]

I knew Pierce Brosnan was Bond and the Mrs. Doubtfire guy.

[Dan Campbell]

Yes.

[Craig]

And I remember that being kind of weird, but I never saw the actual Brosnan Bonds. The first ones I saw were Craig. But the video game was awesome. It had, like, the coolest music ever. The pause music, I remember on GoldenEye 007 was, like, way better than it needed to be. Great game.

[Dan Campbell]

It's the enduring legacy of the movie. Right.

[Bill Simmons]

I mean, that's how we ended up doing this. For rewatchables, we were talking about the GoldenEye game.

[Chris Ryan]

This and Perfect Dark. I don't know if it's built on, like, the same game engine or whatever.

[Dan Campbell]

But it's basically like a spiritual sequel.

[Chris Ryan]

It's basically a spiritual sequel. And this game had.

[Bill Simmons]

It came out two years after the movie.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

And it had multiplayer, so you could sit there with your friends and get stoned and listen to Wu Tang Clan, which I did. And play goldeneye for eight hours. I'm gonna put a nuclear bomb on your lap.

[Craig]

Goodbye.

[Chris Ryan]

Put on rayquad. This is the best time of my life.

[Bill Simmons]

Honestly, the happiest I've ever just created DVDs. This really was unbelievable. You just do dumb shit and not be judged.

[Dan Campbell]

It was a really fun time. I remember it well. I was a teenager when it came out, and we were not an N64 household. We had a PlayStation and so you had GameCube. We had to. I was a Sega Genesis kid, and then I was a PlayStation kid. And so we went to my friend Dave Brown's house and did the same thing. Even though we were only 15.

[Bill Simmons]

I never played this game because I thought it glorified guns. That's not true at all.

[Chris Ryan]

Did you ever play this game?

[Bill Simmons]

I did. I used to play more sports games, though.

[Chris Ryan]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

I was always like, Tecmo bowl and Madden and the golf game and hockey. I was always gravitated that way.

[Dan Campbell]

I feel like the reason this game is so important. The number one reason, there are probably a few reasons is it's the first mainstream non gamer first person shooter like Doom had existed for years before this.

[Chris Ryan]

You play that on PC, but you.

[Dan Campbell]

Played it on a computer. And maybe there had been some console version of it, but I don't think before this. And the virtual cop was also.

[Bill Simmons]

I researched this. It's credited as being the first good first person shooter game. But also with the multiplayer thing.

[Dan Campbell]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

It basically like this is ground zero for all the games that came after.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

There's also like. I remember it. It kind of did have. At that time it felt very tactile. The globe trotting excitement of Bond because like you would play there was like a Russian level, there was like a submarine level, there was like you play on the Riviera. Like there was, you know, to the extent that my frontal, like the music.

[Bill Simmons]

Was good, I was like this is really amazing. Yeah, the music was so they said it sold over 8 million copies and it was the third biggest Nintendo 64 game ever. 8 million copies really means like 30 million because think of how many people, probably guys in their 20s living together or guys in college who probably pulled money together to buy a copy.

[Chris Ryan]

What if there's an example. Sure, we'll hear about it. Of a game based on a movie where the game is bigger than the.

[Bill Simmons]

Movie or had like a longer legacy.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Because even now I was looking up some of like the best video game ever pieces that people write. It's in all of them.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

It's just like it has to be put in.

[Dan Campbell]

It's like a turning point in video games. I mean my video game experience basically ends in 2005. But this is probably the right dead set in the middle because I think I got an NES in like 1990 and it definitely. Every single 15 year old guy friend I had wanted to play this game every day. And I can't remember other than Madden in college having that experience.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

The other thing with this was they finally got Pierce Brosnan as Bond. And I remember that being like the Iranian hostage crisis for him. Trying to get him out of Remington.

[Dan Campbell]

Steel started in 86. They tried to get him before Dalton, right?

[Chris Ryan]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

Remington Steele hits in 1982. A show that I watched every once in a while because I had a crush on Stephanie Zimbush. He was one of the 190 people I had a crush on back in 1982.

[Dan Campbell]

Can you explain what Remington Steele was?

[Bill Simmons]

It was like a spy show and they kind of worked together. It was a little on the heart versus heart corner or whatever that show was, but he was just so clearly like, this guy's going to be the next James Bond. He checked every James Bond box. And then when James Bond finally became available in 86 and he was gonna do it, and then they renewed the show and it was like an actual Hollywood story.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Like this guy wants to do Bond. He served as Remington Steele stunt, but at that time he did shows for five years and you couldn't get out. And that was it. So he had to pass it up. They ended up going to Timothy Dalton.

[Chris Ryan]

And ironically, the reason Dalton's not this Bond and a lot of people have commented on goldeneye feeling more like a Dalton Bond than what would come from Brosnan after is because Dalton was waiting for the script and waiting for the script. And then when the script finally came and he's like, oh, I'll do this one. They were like, we can't sign you up for just one. So if you want to do it, it's gonna be like another five years or another three movies or whatever it was gonna be. And then he was just like, I can't.

[Bill Simmons]

And Brosnan was available at that point.

[Chris Ryan]

And Brosnan was available.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Six year hiatus. They had some legal disputes. Well, I mean, the Broccoli family versus mgm. And they couldn't solve shit.

[Dan Campbell]

I mean, that's a huge moment in Hollywood history where MGM is basically defrauded by its acquirer. And then it goes into a holding company from a Swiss bank or French bank.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Dan Campbell]

And then one of the major movie studios is in this kind of like limbo ownership period. And of course, James Bond is right at the center of that studio. It's the reason why ultimately Amazon bought MGM in the first place, is the ultimate value, and then bought out the Broccolis.

[Bill Simmons]

It's an unbelievable time for movies compared to now. I felt like I had so much awareness of this. While not because Premier magazine would be writing about it every month and it seemed like every company was going bankrupt or trying to. Or being defrauded or. Or there. Or there would be the reverse, like Castle Rock coming out of nowhere or Miramax.

[Chris Ryan]

I wonder how our relationship to stuff like Warner Brothers, Netflix, Paramount would be if we read one great piece about it a month rather than like maybe words about it every single day.

[Dan Campbell]

Or it was just like there was a book like Hit and Run, you know, or it was just like, here's the total story of this era at this studio. But we don't. It doesn't come like that. We have. We have the town of Matt Bell.

[Chris Ryan]

But I know exactly what you mean. I felt like I had like a. More like a better grasp relationship to this stuff because I was like, cool, great article explaining why this actor can't get out of a contract or something.

[Bill Simmons]

But when Peter Gruber and John Peters took over Sony, which became the book. But when they were covering that in real time, it would just be like every three months there would be another crazy story about like these guys are fucking just setting money on fire in a garage, torching it.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah. And even she was reporting on it, right. She was writing those articles.

[Bill Simmons]

But they would be Vanity Fair or Premiere, but it was sometimes New York magazine, but it would really be otherwise.

[Chris Ryan]

It was the trades.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Chris Ryan]

But people weren't reading the trades online then.

[Bill Simmons]

And then you had like even like the smart. Like we talked on Rewatchables before about Carol Co. Which was doing all like the Stallone and Schwarzenegger and Van Damme. And then all of a sudden they went down.

[Dan Campbell]

I've never been more excited for a movie than James Cameron's Spider man funded by Carolco. And it never happened. But I remember reading about that and being like, just put that inside me when I was 13 years old.

[Chris Ryan]

They've done a great job over the course of the years with Bond where it's like even as maybe the interest in the franchise wanes, which it seems to every four movies or whatever, they're just really good at creating a trade deadline of like who are we going to pick up to play Bond? And it turns into something that's bigger than the movies themselves.

[Bill Simmons]

Which was why. What did the, what did they go for? What the franchise go for? Amazon bought it, right?

[Dan Campbell]

Well, I don't know what the final number was for the buyout. I mean, you know, billions of dollars.

[Chris Ryan]

Well then they had to buy out the Broccoli's, right?

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah, yeah. Because it was like they paid $8 billion as I recall, for MGM total. But MGM doesn't own James Bond, obviously. The Broccoli family owned. They did a separate deal a year ago for that. Part of that apparently was just because the Broccoli's were just sick of dealing with Amazon and didn't like Amazon, but.

[Chris Ryan]

And Amazon wants to be able to make Miss Moneypenny Prestige TV show or whatever.

[Bill Simmons]

And Bezos was like at the end of the dinner after they had ordered the fourth bottle of wine and he got the check for, for MGM and Broccoli. He's like, does that say 9.2 billion. Did we do this? And now all of a sudden all the movies are on Netflix.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, hey, can we, can we offload this anywhere?

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah, I mean that's a, that's, that's a complicated aspect of it. But I, they just, they have to get the movie right. They hired Denis Villeneuve. I think he'll get it right. I'm not really worried.

[Bill Simmons]

They went over the movie nerds immediately.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Do we know who's writing it?

[Dan Campbell]

I don't know.

[Craig]

Do you know the most accomplished director to ever handle a Bond movie?

[Dan Campbell]

Depends on how you define that. Michael Apted made one of the Pierce Brosnan movies and he's an acclaimed filmmaker who's got a lot of ups and downs. But Denis, probably the best big tent filmmaker.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

I mean it had been rumored for a long time that Nolan would be interested. Tarantino has been interested about doing like a basically very Tarantino esque reimagining of it.

[Dan Campbell]

I think they've approached Spielberg multiple times.

[Bill Simmons]

But I don't think no one essentially made three Bond movies. That would have started another world war. I think if Tarantino had done a Bond movie, I think England would have just tried to invade us.

[Chris Ryan]

My favorite two what ifs are Tarantino, Star Trek and Tarantino. Bond. Like that's just so fascinating to me. What would happen to those franchises.

[Bill Simmons]

Tarantino, Bond would have been just on heroin. Yeah. No, I would say he has to be the best director of. He's probably the first time a top five director has done a Bond movie. I think somebody who's consensus like in the top five now.

[Craig]

Do you think James Bond is still the coolest role you can book in Hollywood?

[Chris Ryan]

It is in England. For what it's worth, I mean, I think for, for a British actor, because.

[Craig]

10 years ago you could probably say it was a superhero. I don't know if that's the case now. Is it, is it Bond?

[Bill Simmons]

I still think Batman's the coolest role. I think that's, I think, I think super bowl winning NFL, there's like three.

[Chris Ryan]

Or four or five rules where it's like your fucking life's about to change. Like you think you're famous now.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

You think you've got paparazzi following you now. You think people are speculating like your life is going to change. You're Superman.

[Craig]

Spider Man. Bond.

[Chris Ryan]

Superman, Batman, Bond. Yeah. I wonder who else that likes J.D.

[Dan Campbell]

Vance. That's one of them. What's the other one?

[Chris Ryan]

Hamnet.

[Dan Campbell]

Hamnet. Yep. That's the other one. The Little guy who uses Jacoby jupe Get ready for change forever.

[Bill Simmons]

Have you watched Jesse Buckley sing?

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah. There's a movie called Wild Rose that every human has to watch where Jessie Buckley plays an aspiring country and western singer who is from. She's either Scottish or Irish in the film, I can't remember. And she sings like nine country western songs. Everyone is a fucking heater. It's the movie that made me fall in love with her.

[Bill Simmons]

I went on a two hour deep dive of just talk show appearances and like she might be the best. She might be the coolest thing in the world.

[Dan Campbell]

She got her start on a singing talent show in the uk.

[Bill Simmons]

I mean she's Irish so you know, she's cool.

[Chris Ryan]

Hamnet last night you did?

[Dan Campbell]

I liked it.

[Bill Simmons]

You're in the mood for a comedy.

[Chris Ryan]

I liked it. That's great.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah. Nice. Good for you.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, you're a little late on it.

[Dan Campbell]

Sorry.

[Bill Simmons]

A lot of hype. Yeah, a lot of hype at this point.

[Chris Ryan]

But there was mixed mix hype.

[Dan Campbell]

Bill's got a lot of hamnet.

[Chris Ryan]

He really does. It's one of the.

[Bill Simmons]

I thought it was the best female performance of the decade.

[Chris Ryan]

Bill Simmons Hamnet.

[Bill Simmons]

I couldn't put it against any other performance.

[Dan Campbell]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. For real.

[Chris Ryan]

You're hamnet. And triggering. Six years is really interesting to me.

[Bill Simmons]

Six years of best actress performances. What was better than that?

[Dan Campbell]

Cate Blanchett and Tar is up there for me.

[Bill Simmons]

That's pretty good. God damn it. That's a good one.

[Dan Campbell]

She didn't win, but that's up there.

[Bill Simmons]

She was unbelievable in that. And she learned how to be a conductor.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah. Yeah, she did.

[Bill Simmons]

That's pretty good.

[Dan Campbell]

Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know. Hand that really reached into my soul.

[Dan Campbell]

I love to see you emotional.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, well, I wasn't expecting it. I think that was the thing. Speaking of emotional Funko Jansen Broccoli's health was declining.

[Chris Ryan]

Alberts. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And he died seven months after this movie. And this was also the first movie that didn't use any story elements from the Ian Fleming books. They were just like we're gonna audible but as Chris said earlier feels kind of the most. Bondi starts out with the big chase scene in the beginning. We have two hot girls. We have a gadget scene, we have a car chase, we have a crazy tank scene.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah, you're right.

[Bill Simmons]

We have a fun ending with like in like a big apparatus.

[Dan Campbell]

Rush is in the story.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. There's like confusing Cold War. Like it kind of. If you're going to do a checklist of things that should be in a Bond movie. It might check the most boxes.

[Dan Campbell]

It's a really good point.

[Bill Simmons]

Good villain.

[Chris Ryan]

Great villain.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't really have one of my favorite Bond villains.

[Chris Ryan]

I wish that they had done more with that character.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. So the reboot. This is the first Bond film after Berlin Wall collapses. Collapse of the ussr, end of the Cold War. It's the first one that uses cgi. It casts a female M, which was a big deal to people.

[Dan Campbell]

He doesn't see gender.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, I was just like, back then, they were like, what, it's going to be a female now?

[Dan Campbell]

It's like, yeah, smart to cast like one of the most venerated actors.

[Bill Simmons]

Famous actress. And then the Bond girls. Famka Jansen.

[Dan Campbell]

Easily in the top ten Bond girls for me. Easily.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, top five for me.

[Bill Simmons]

It's funny, there's. It's a question of whether she counts as a Bond girl because she's also a villain.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah, there's plenty of those over the years.

[Bill Simmons]

This is the rare movie that has two Bond girls together, but one's the heroine. The other is actually a villain. But they count as two Bond girls.

[Chris Ryan]

Do they? But they do that, I think, throughout the Brosnan movies, don't they? There's like a couple of.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah, there's Dr. Christmas Jones, of course.

[Chris Ryan]

Christmas came twice.

[Dan Campbell]

There's Halle Berry. She's also. What is she? Astrophysical in.

[Chris Ryan]

I guess you're right. I hadn't thought about it like that. That there's.

[Dan Campbell]

I think it's unusual for the. For the villain to outstrip the. The like love partner. Yeah, the nice and appeal, you know, like there's always something a little bit more kind of vindictive.

[Bill Simmons]

With that said, I love Isabella Skrupka in this really strange Wikipedia IMDb. This was the peak I had that.

[Chris Ryan]

I really wanted to talk about her.

[Bill Simmons]

Bounced around after, but I think she's throwing 99 in this. And then Famka's throwing like 107.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah. Famka's on steroids.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know what she's doing in this movie, but I love it. I love every second of it.

[Dan Campbell]

I'll hold my Isabella comments for later in the episode.

[Bill Simmons]

So, top Bond girl ever. What do you have? Here's my top three. Barbara Bach, Talisa Soto, I thought was just incredible.

[Chris Ryan]

Talesa Soto is incredible.

[Bill Simmons]

I just don't understand why she wasn't a massive star then. Pussy Galore. Just for half the name, but just everything in that. That scene. That movie is so sexually loaded. For this weird era to make that movie. Everything, it's just dripping of innuendo. But I think that's my top three.

[Dan Campbell]

Eva Green is really.

[Bill Simmons]

Eva Green's a good one too.

[Dan Campbell]

In my zone.

[Chris Ryan]

I.

[Bill Simmons]

That's a good one. All right, I'll make it four.

[Chris Ryan]

I think Pussy War is probably up there. Who's the one in man with the Golden Gun? What's her character's name?

[Bill Simmons]

I'm blanking now. We're all going to be googling stuff. So. Fanke Janssen, Dutch model, 6ft tall, was on TV.

[Craig]

Man with the Golden Gun. The character is Mary Goodnight.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Britt Eklund.

[Craig]

Brit Eklund, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, Britt Ecklund.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah, of course.

[Bill Simmons]

Does some TV stuff. Really important Melrose Place appearance.

[Dan Campbell]

What happened?

[Bill Simmons]

What'd she do? Played a hooker. That Vomka that Dr. Michael Mancini hired. Call girl. Lady of the day.

[Chris Ryan]

Sex worker.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, that. When Michael Mancini's ex.

[Chris Ryan]

She played a whore.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, she was Michael Mancini's ex wife. Jane was dating this lawyer who did their divorce. Michael Mancini gets this lady to sleep with him, videotapes it, sends it to Jane, breaks them up. That was how I met Famkette Janssen. Like, who is this? Ends up in Bond Plays Rounders, gets shut down by Mike McD in the most controversial scene of the 90s. He's like, no, no, I'm good. No, thanks. She's in the faculty.

[Dan Campbell]

Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

Yes, a lot of people are in the faculty.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah. Jon Stewart.

[Chris Ryan]

We haven't done a faculty.

[Bill Simmons]

It's been knocking on the door.

[Chris Ryan]

Hey, man, whenever you want.

[Bill Simmons]

Saw it in the theater.

[Chris Ryan]

I just watched it recently.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, it was great.

[Dan Campbell]

That was an event.

[Bill Simmons]

She's in X Men. Nip Tuck, apparently, and then Taken. Franchise.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Good career.

[Dan Campbell]

I think X Men is definitely the thing she's best known for at this point because she was in Jean Gray. And so in this room it's Rounders.

[Chris Ryan]

And maybe in this room going forward, it's Zenia on a Top.

[Dan Campbell]

Special, special performance.

[Bill Simmons]

On a top. I don't even understand it.

[Chris Ryan]

It's so close to Ivana Hump a lot. It's like. It's like so almost on the verge of being off.

[Bill Simmons]

Zenya on a Top.

[Dan Campbell]

That's another reason why Craig is right. I think that Goldeneye the game is the most kind of memorable aspect of this. But so much of Austin Powers that.

[Bill Simmons]

I had that coming later. Let's do it now.

[Dan Campbell]

Zenya on the top is just the gadget scene. A lot of vaginas. That is the same character.

[Bill Simmons]

No, it's clear they watched this movie 10 times as they were right in the Austin Powers. There's no question. They were trying to pull a whole bunch of things off.

[Dan Campbell]

Austin Powers still heat five out of five.

[Bill Simmons]

Sean Bean is the bad guy and.

[Chris Ryan]

He had auditioned to play bomb 006.

[Dan Campbell]

Mm.

[Bill Simmons]

Turns out this was his worst plan. Other than when he decided to confront Queen Cersei, tell her about. He knew about the incest baby.

[Dan Campbell]

Tough one.

[Bill Simmons]

That was probably Sean Bean's dumbest moment.

[Dan Campbell]

Probably. What are you up to in the Thrones rewatch?

[Bill Simmons]

I'm in season two now. I still can't believe he said anything.

[Chris Ryan]

To Queen Cersei as Boromir being like, I can hold this ring. I got this.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah. Been doing a lot of Targaryen Baratheon history in our household because of a Knight of the Seven Kingdoms. Trying to figure out lineages. Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Complicated.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah. A lot of Dark Gates in there.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, Dark Harrier all the way through in the Baratheons. One moment. I like 06, though, because there's like a little backstory. It's not just like a typical. I'm an evil villain, I want to take over. It's like, it's a good idea. I kind of like get.

[Chris Ryan]

He's a precursor for Bardem in Skyfall, which is like the. We were both spies. They, they, they, they broke me, you know, and. But this guy, I mean, he's got like basically a lifelong vendetta against.

[Dan Campbell]

The whole thing with the Leon's Cossacks is just a good idea. It's just, it's really cleverly constructed.

[Bill Simmons]

My biggest issue with these movies is when the person feels betrayed by England and wants to like, you know, commit a bunch of bad shit. I'm always like, I kind of see his point. England sucks.

[Chris Ryan]

There you go.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

You know, he's making some anti colonial bill.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah. Well, we live in America and my is from Ireland, so England can fuck off.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. I mean, you know, 1773, they would have blown Boston into the fucking ocean. Now we have 14 titles a century.

[Chris Ryan]

Fuckers.

[Dan Campbell]

That's right.

[Chris Ryan]

The only thing stopping Tom Brady was fucking King George.

[Bill Simmons]

Directed by Bart Campbell. First non British to direct a Bond movie. And there's like 1700 writers and rewriters for this. They just kept.

[Chris Ryan]

It's also like the accumulation.

[Bill Simmons]

True Lies was a little close to the original story. They had to fix fun stuff with.

[Chris Ryan]

The True Lies script. This script and the Mission Impossible movie of like kind of what came first. What was sort of written down first, who had certain ideas first. But yeah, this was the accumulation of a bunch of drafts that they had done for the next Bond movies, some of which, like there was one with the American Mafia, there's one with like. It's all interesting to go back and look at.

[Dan Campbell]

Movies are still done this way. You know, these huge movies that have, you know, two credited writers, but they're not the original writers. So there's a story by credit and then you have five other people who took a whack at stuff to add to it.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, usually that happens over two years. Yeah, six with like the Cold War happening and then two competing projects that were on the corner.

[Dan Campbell]

I got confused watching them rewatching the movie today or yesterday because I thought when it starts and it's the ussr, I was like, so is this like a period piece? Like, I had forgotten that they zoom ahead to the future because it's like almost exactly that period of time that goes by between movies.

[Bill Simmons]

$60 million budget made. 356.4 million. It's the fourth biggest 1995 movie, which was not a small movie year.

[Chris Ryan]

It was just the biggest Bond, biggest Bond since Moonraker.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, Moonraker Crushed. People are like outer space. Bonds.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah, Jaws.

[Bill Simmons]

Jaws.

[Chris Ryan]

Gotta go twice.

[Bill Simmons]

130 minutes. So on the Craig Century Club, this is a plus 30.

[Craig]

Probably could have lost 10, 12 minutes.

[Dan Campbell]

I think you can say that about every single Bond movie. I think every single Bond movie is just a little too long for me.

[Bill Simmons]

From about minute 35 to minute 70, I could have done 20. 20 minutes.

[Craig]

You get to Cuba and you're like, man, we still got 40 minutes.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, it's. It's a weirdly structured movie. The actual mission of the movie does not get introduced until 45 minutes in, which is quite. It's atypical for Bond.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, we could have zoomed in a little bit. Our guy, Roger Ebert. Three stars. The first Bond film that is self aware, that has lost its innocence and the simplicity of worldview.

[Dan Campbell]

I mean, this is Zenia, man.

[Chris Ryan]

You know, Roger wanted to get squeezed.

[Dan Campbell]

Out on the top of Raj, right?

[Bill Simmons]

It has some understanding of the absurdity and sadness of its hero on the top of Raj.

[Chris Ryan]

You go to hell for that.

[Dan Campbell]

Just picture that. You know, put him in one of those general outfits.

[Bill Simmons]

He didn't. He Actually the review wasn't as horny as I thought it was going to.

[Dan Campbell]

Be about the Bond girls. But, you know, I mean, you know.

[Bill Simmons]

He said all the later Bonds suffer from the reality that no one else will ever really replace Sean Connery. I had a good enough time, I guess, although I never really got involved. I was shaken but not stirred.

[Dan Campbell]

Banger.

[Chris Ryan]

Close the world like that.

[Bill Simmons]

So glad we get to keep him alive on the pod every week. Fucking bangers. I was shaking when that stirred. He's like, bang sense. Edits. Yes.

[Dan Campbell]

Yes. No edits.

[Chris Ryan]

I'll have a Schlitz.

[Bill Simmons]

So good. All right, we're gonna take a break, and then we'll do most rewatchable scenes.

[Chris Ryan]

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[Bill Simmons]

The opening scene's fucking awesome.

[Chris Ryan]

Yep.

[Dan Campbell]

We gotta put some context around bungee jumping. 1996.

[Bill Simmons]

That's 1985. I don't know if I ever. I don't know if I'd ever seen a bungee jump before.

[Dan Campbell]

I feel like it's about to be Apex Mountain for bungee jumping, right? Like, they were starting to introduce it in theme parks, where you can do, like, mini versions of it at Action Park. And then it became in the 90s, you would start to see people being like, I'm going to the craziest bridge in the world.

[Bill Simmons]

Feel like MTV started showing, like, hardcore action stuff.

[Chris Ryan]

There's also, like, I feel like it's a trope in action movies of this time period for the main character to really, a, enjoy it, and B, the Bodhi move of, like, you think we're just having a regular conversation. And then I just leap off the.

[Dan Campbell]

Building and it's like, oh, no.

[Chris Ryan]

And it's like, he's bungee jumping.

[Dan Campbell]

So, like, right at the advent of the X Games and skating and that Whole world.

[Bill Simmons]

So we have just an awesome bungee jump that's filmed really well with some wall. You're like, where the fuck is this? He lands, he upside down, punches the guy. Taking a shit.

[Dan Campbell]

Pretty good. Pretty good move.

[Bill Simmons]

I probably wait for the flush before I attack the guy.

[Dan Campbell]

Immediately, though, he's like, sorry, forgot to knock. You know, immediately with a Bond line.

[Bill Simmons]

Gets away from somewhere between 30 and 100 Russians on a small space, and then does an outrageous motorcycle plane jump. All in about eight minutes. Yeah, I have some thoughts on. We can do the pick and nits now of the freestyle jump into the plane, catching it, being able to get in, and then turning the plane up.

[Chris Ryan]

My favorite part of this whole sequence is it seems like Travathian was able to get to the same point without having to bungee jump and dive into a toilet full of crap and he.

[Dan Campbell]

Just had to be blown.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Dan Campbell]

I mean, I was thinking about making my Flex category the Dan Campbell scale for. Holy shit, Are they really going for this right now? Which is him, like, jumping off the ledge and catching the plane.

[Craig]

The exact same thing.

[Bill Simmons]

Motorcycle jumping.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah. What is the idea here?

[Craig]

Yeah, 19. They're going for it.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah. There's a few of these in this movie where even by Bond standards, I'm like, for real, dude. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Chris Ryan]

But clearly Tom Cruise saw this and was like, I'll base the next 30 years of my life on this.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Craig]

Don't you kind of think just from a stunt perspective? I know he didn't actually do that, obviously, but from the character doing a stunt in a movie, that is a crazier stunt than anything Ethan Hunt has ever done.

[Dan Campbell]

I think so. I think it's cooler than jump down.

[Chris Ryan]

Hanging on the plane. You know, hanging on a biplane for 20 minutes.

[Craig]

It's remarkable. Eight mission impossibles. And I don't think there's a stunt.

[Dan Campbell]

Cooler than that because there's no reality to it. There's like. It is. It will break your brain, but it doesn't imagine.

[Chris Ryan]

But it doesn't look that fake.

[Bill Simmons]

No, it's really good. I believe they watched it. Bungee jump was 722ft, which was a record when they did it. Nobody had ever done that before. Was filmed in the Contradam in Switzerland. And then that second stunt was awesome, too. Then he's, like, trying to get the joystick. Yeah. Oh, I got it.

[Dan Campbell]

I'm out.

[Bill Simmons]

Really good. Second scene, the car chase. We have an Aston Martin DBS against a Ferrari F355. Old versus new. Like a little LeBron versus Victor Wembanyama at the All Star Game.

[Chris Ryan]

Any thoughts on which? Which one of those would you rather drive?

[Bill Simmons]

The Ferrari's toasting the Aston Martin.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Because it's an older car.

[Dan Campbell]

It's a race car.

[Bill Simmons]

No chance.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

He's also. Is he on a date? Like what's going on?

[Dan Campbell]

Sort of a date.

[Chris Ryan]

I think that's his therapist or something.

[Dan Campbell]

No, no, it's Moneypenny.

[Chris Ryan]

No, it's not.

[Dan Campbell]

Isn't it?

[Chris Ryan]

No, it's a different woman.

[Bill Simmons]

No, it's not Moneypenny.

[Craig]

She's like HR or something.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah, it's not Moneypenny.

[Chris Ryan]

No, it's like. I looked it up. It's like the woman who's supposed to him psychologically to work one penny scene in the home.

[Dan Campbell]

That's so confusing.

[Bill Simmons]

Having sex with her on a cliff. So I don't know how the session went. I don't know if that's. You have to pay extra.

[Dan Campbell]

It's not his therapist.

[Bill Simmons]

I think it's like his work assigned therapist or something.

[Chris Ryan]

It is.

[Craig]

She sent to do like a wellness check on him or like a. I.

[Dan Campbell]

Thought it was more like hr to make sure you weren't breaking the rules kind of thing.

[Bill Simmons]

James, you're incorrigible. Who would have loved it?

[Chris Ryan]

Serena Gordon is Caroline, an MI6 psychological and psychiatric evaluator whom Bond seduces at the beginning of the film.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Dan Campbell]

Great.

[Bill Simmons]

Bond.

[Chris Ryan]

Probably an HR violation.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Bond was an HR problem.

[Chris Ryan]

Bond was a problem.

[Bill Simmons]

HRs like, is it another Bond thing?

[Dan Campbell]

Fuck. We can't insure him.

[Bill Simmons]

I knew we shouldn't have hired that assistant. There's a baccarat scene and we've talked.

[Chris Ryan]

About this, but have you. Are you a back rack guy? Have you ever played?

[Bill Simmons]

We do this every time. It's the one card game. I have no idea what's going on. It seems great. It seems super simple.

[Dan Campbell]

Yep.

[Chris Ryan]

It's. Is it blackjack and poker, but also.

[Bill Simmons]

Has a shoe something fantasy is going to take on when he turns 50. He's like, I've just become a big guy.

[Chris Ryan]

I see you becoming a major Pai Gow guy.

[Dan Campbell]

I've got a wealth goal. And when I cross the wealth goal, I'll start playing baccarat. That's my. That's my life.

[Bill Simmons]

Is it Pagod then baccarat? Or is it. Or is it reverse?

[Chris Ryan]

Paige is supposed to be like the thing you can play all night.

[Dan Campbell]

Right? Because it's just a hangout and drink game. It's a game you can just put $100 on the table and play as long as you don't get killed by a dealer. I think baccarat's kind of the opposite. Right. It's like sit down with 50k other.

[Bill Simmons]

Like you're sitting down with two of Jerry bus's sons and Toby Maguire.

[Dan Campbell]

I've never played B.

[Chris Ryan]

It is really funny watching them play too, because I'm like, are you trying to get 21 but you're drawing another card and it's like, are you trying to get three of a kind? Like, I can't tell what's going on.

[Bill Simmons]

He loses the first hand and wins the second one. And I have no idea what happen a little bit. Like, why did that hit with.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah, they're like five and six and you're like, oh, well, six is higher.

[Bill Simmons]

Than five so that obviously he's the winner.

[Dan Campbell]

Have you ever aggressively gambled against a woman?

[Bill Simmons]

So that would just be poker or.

[Dan Campbell]

You know, any card game like this?

[Bill Simmons]

No.

[Dan Campbell]

You?

[Chris Ryan]

No.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay.

[Chris Ryan]

I really only gamble with Zach playing blackjack and get nuked playing.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. How about like with a. Was. Oh, very, very attractive woman throwing 107 miles an hour who has a long cigarette holder thing. What are those called? Sierra?

[Chris Ryan]

I don't know.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, haven't done that.

[Chris Ryan]

I think it's cigarette holder.

[Dan Campbell]

Okay. When I was in New York, I played in a card game that with a bunch of friends who worked at magazines. And there was one woman who played in the game who worked at one of the magazines, but she was also a rising poker semi pro, and she was very visible on the World Series of Poker a few years in a row. And she was a young attractive woman. And, you know, I would sit in like a guy's apartment with two poker tables set up, and it was like 13 guys and this woman, and she just annihilated every guy. Now she was a better poker player, but it was the classic thing of just like, she just lulled you to sleep by gentle flirting with you anytime you were in a hand together. And you were like, absolutely. Yeah, for sure.

[Chris Ryan]

You know, my first time.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Where. Where in Long island are you from?

[Dan Campbell]

I mean, it worked. It really worked.

[Chris Ryan]

You were Blake Goldeneye.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

I love that game.

[Bill Simmons]

I hope the dirt is your real talent. She says that to James at one point.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah, Veal.

[Bill Simmons]

Veal talent.

[Dan Campbell]

So she's Dutch.

[Chris Ryan]

She's. And she's George. She's doing Georgia and she's doing Georgian.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Jordan Separatist, I guess.

[Bill Simmons]

Do we want to do this now?

[Dan Campbell]

Accent Corner.

[Bill Simmons]

I had the Kevin Costner award for worst accent. The nominees are Famous Jansen trying to pretend she's Russian when she's Dutch. Alan Cumming as Boris. No, I think he's got, like, an English accent.

[Dan Campbell]

It's terrible, but I love it.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, he's. He's going for it.

[Bill Simmons]

So what would you pick?

[Chris Ryan]

I mean, I think meanie driver's Russian is pretty bad from this.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, that's a good one.

[Chris Ryan]

Stage.

[Bill Simmons]

Give it with her, too. So right after they finished Baccarat, James hits the same game parlay of Shaken Not Stirred. Bond. James Bond. He just fucking bangs both of them out. Plus 260 on Fandoy. He's just like, fuck it, I'm banging this.

[Dan Campbell]

And he's just like, eye fucking Zenny on the top. And he's like, I'm doing the classic shit to you right now.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm just playing all the hits. Great scene.

[Dan Campbell]

So good.

[Bill Simmons]

This is a small scene for rewatchable, but I really love when James is flirting with Moneypenny and she's here for it, and it ends with, what's the penalty? And he goes. And she goes, someday you'll have to make good on your innuendos. And then they go into the office. I'm like, 1995 ruled.

[Chris Ryan]

Amazing.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. So good. Petty. Looks great in this movie.

[Chris Ryan]

I'm trying to imagine, like, what your version of this would be and be like, where do you have me on your trade value list? Is it higher or lower than Sean Kemp?

[Bill Simmons]

What was Moneypenny's job?

[Chris Ryan]

She was like, the administrative. She ran the office.

[Dan Campbell]

She sure did.

[Bill Simmons]

This is such a funny.

[Chris Ryan]

She's the secretary.

[Bill Simmons]

But such a funny time for movies because Disclosure comes out the same year, and it's like, everybody is aware that this shouldn't actual harassment, and maybe things in the workplace should change. But then the movies are like, let's be a little dangerous with it too. And now when you watch it 30 years later, it's hilarious. Like, he would never. He'd be afraid to be in an elevator with her.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

For two seconds.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't. Doesn't really seek consent. James Bond. It's not one of his things.

[Bill Simmons]

I want to watch season three of Tell Me Lies with James Bond and Moneypenny. They're like, oh, my God. Natalia almost gets blown up seven times of that as a rewatch when GoldenEye keeps getting out. Yeah. Keeps getting out of. How does. She's like, slow motion jump under the desk.

[Dan Campbell]

So the idea there is get under the staircase. So even if the entire building collapses, you'll still survive because you were under a certain questions.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dan Campbell]

Curious.

[Chris Ryan]

Then she gets out of a Siberian location just by walking? No, like sled dogs.

[Dan Campbell]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

But gets to St. Petersburg where she can go to an Internet cafe.

[Bill Simmons]

Next scene, steam room. Sex fight.

[Chris Ryan]

Yep. Shout out to Eastern promises interesting porn.

[Bill Simmons]

Search for any of the young kids out there.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah, that's sort of what it's like when you're watching Game of Thrones. Right?

[Bill Simmons]

Right. Great. She tries her leg crush move. Good. Good. Wrestling finisher.

[Dan Campbell]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm surprised the Vince McMahon diva's era, they didn't have some. Trying to do the situation on a top.

[Chris Ryan]

Move the legs of the Janice Group.

[Bill Simmons]

Zenny on a top Sean Bean villain reveal some good Sean Bean.

[Dan Campbell]

Enjoy that.

[Bill Simmons]

It turns out That's a good scene. 06.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Trust an ancient concept.

[Dan Campbell]

It's actually reasonable to expect that he would want to do the Bond villain thing where he explains the whole plot because it's more interesting to reveal to Bond that their connection is bigger, it's more complicated, they have history. Instead of just, I'm an evil villain and I'm after world domination. Which gets a little boring in some of the.

[Chris Ryan]

And what? He says Bond's parents died in a mountain climbing accident.

[Dan Campbell]

He does good lore there.

[Bill Simmons]

Tough one.

[Chris Ryan]

Does that get revised in Skyfall or is that.

[Dan Campbell]

I don't believe so.

[Chris Ryan]

Okay, is it an orphanage in Skyfall?

[Dan Campbell]

But is it.

[Chris Ryan]

It's like an orphanage that breeds special agents.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah, but it's only for kids whose parents have died in climbing accidents. It's the climbing orphanage.

[Bill Simmons]

Do you think it was like an avalanche or one of them slipped and the other tried to save them and they both died.

[Dan Campbell]

So funny about that.

[Bill Simmons]

Just called plane crash.

[Dan Campbell]

I rewatched the next two Martin Campbell movies because Martin Campbell fucking rocks and we can talk about him. But the next one is Maskazoro and then the one after that is Vertical Limit, which opens. The first scene in Vertical Limit is a father of two of his of a daughter and a son dying in a climbing accident. So it's like, was he trying to call back to GoldenEye?

[Chris Ryan]

If vertical limit had been more like Hamnet, where it's like at the very end when it's like, I'm hanging on. Somebody take care of our son, Jimmy.

[Craig]

And then.

[Dan Campbell]

Oh.

[Bill Simmons]

Next scene is my most rewatchable. The tank chase, complete with the Perrier crash.

[Chris Ryan]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

This scene is just fucking awesome.

[Dan Campbell]

It is the most.

[Bill Simmons]

I just can't believe how awesome.

[Chris Ryan]

It is another Dan Campbell. Like, when he sees the tank, you're like, he's getting in that tank.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

It's a great 90s device of you just see the tank. Or like earlier when they're on the car chase and you see the bicycles going uphill, I'm like, okay. Like, they did a good job of planting seeds.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah. The. My favorite shot in that whole sequence is when, you know, Bond's got his head out of the tank and he's about to crash into the building and he's like, whoop. And he pops down and somehow nothing falls on him.

[Bill Simmons]

So I did some research on this. It's very hard for tanks to just move at a speed like this right away. It takes like a mile for them to.

[Dan Campbell]

You call Hegseth.

[Bill Simmons]

Whatever. I think the turns are tough. Yeah, Hegseth was telling me about it. Hard to do the 90 degree turns.

[Dan Campbell]

Another tank call. Sure, Bill.

[Bill Simmons]

I like that they have these cuts. To Bond, it's just so unrealistic. He's driving. We don't know how he's driving. The tank. Is there a gas pedal.

[Chris Ryan]

Tanks usually take more than one person to drive.

[Bill Simmons]

He's just doing this around the gun part. Just running through the city, taking out buildings.

[Dan Campbell]

He's kind of driving it like a boat. Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

It's just awesome. When he has complete operational knowledge of any other country's technologies.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Like what?

[Chris Ryan]

Russia. It's just exactly like the way we do it.

[Bill Simmons]

What part of. Of secret agent class was that? When they're like, hey, there might be a time when you have to drive a Russian tank.

[Dan Campbell]

Tank week. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Zhenya Odontop dies.

[Chris Ryan]

This is a great death.

[Dan Campbell]

So funny.

[Bill Simmons]

This time, Mr. Bond, the pleasure will be all mine. It's not. And then he gets off the Bond joke. Though she always did enjoy a good squeeze. That was the Austin Powers DNA.

[Dan Campbell]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

Because he has a couple of those groaners in this. And Austin Powers. Mike Myers must have been like, we.

[Dan Campbell]

Got to squeeze those in with the cutaway to hurt. Her whole body strapped to that V shaped tree. Which is such a funny image. It's really. It's the probably the goofiest moment in the movie.

[Bill Simmons]

The pen scene. Alan Cumming flipping the pen, blows up. And then Bond versus Bean at the end. Good ladder fight coming. Gets frozen to death. I wrote that. And it looks like they're fighting in a Fortnite set.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

He's going in these secret doors. He's going. You play Fortnite.

[Chris Ryan]

I'm sure Fortnite Some people are inspired by stuff like this.

[Bill Simmons]

Some people are going to get this. But yeah, he's hanging at one point. He's going around. It's death Defender. Fine. You could jump. You don't want to fall to your death.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Dan Campbell]

Fortnite influencing right now.

[Bill Simmons]

I was a little bit talking about.

[Chris Ryan]

It like, it's a Velvet Underground bootleg. He's like, some people may not get this, but Fortnite's a game. Yeah, that's good.

[Bill Simmons]

So we off tank for rewatch or would you go bungee jump?

[Dan Campbell]

I would. I would go tank just because it's the most like, Holy. How did they even do this scene? I do want to add a quick note for a small scene that I really like, which is when Bond meets Jack Wade, Joe Don Baker, the CIA agent and their chemistry and driving the tiny car together. I like that scene a lot, too.

[Bill Simmons]

What'd you have for most rewatchable opening?

[Craig]

12 minutes, I think are pretty elite. Everything leading up to the Bond song is as entertaining as it gets.

[Chris Ryan]

The visuals, it's a golden eye.

[Bill Simmons]

Really. Disrespected Tina Turner, written by Edge and Bono, living next door to Tina Turner in France, went over and they just concocted this song and they're like, you have it. That should have been her first sign. And you can tell we don't want this.

[Dan Campbell]

She is just singing in Bono's register. And that's why the song doesn't work, because they don't. They're not the same singer.

[Chris Ryan]

There's really not a melody to the song either.

[Bill Simmons]

We had such good music. 1994 and 1995 were probably the peak.

[Chris Ryan]

The people involved in this song make great music. Nelly Hooper produced it.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't understand how they missed on this.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah. It's just. It's the wrong vocalist with the way that the song is written.

[Bill Simmons]

What's the most 1995 thing about this movie? I have four nominees, but what do you have?

[Chris Ryan]

I had Fall of the Soviet Union into the Rise of a Corrupt Russia or Needing an Internet cafe.

[Dan Campbell]

Oh, I had the same thing. And I also just. Those PCs just like looking at those computers.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I had the computer hacking and the computers. I had harmless sexual tension at work. Felt very 1995. Tina Turner doing a theme song written by Bono in the Edge.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Has to be in the 90s somewhere.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

But my number one is the BMW Z3, because that. That's a huge part of this movie. They basically held the car for six months to debut it in GoldenEye.

[Chris Ryan]

It's the first German car thing. The first not. Not English car in the. In the series. Right.

[Bill Simmons]

You want my take on this now? Never liked them.

[Dan Campbell]

The Z3.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Do you drove a Z? Just.

[Bill Simmons]

I always thought they were corny. I. I just thought they were trying too hard to be like Alfa Romeo. It's like, stick to your guns. BMW make the best cars.

[Chris Ryan]

God, I wonder if you would have an amazing car pod.

[Bill Simmons]

You think I should and just have just car hot takes.

[Chris Ryan]

Take a spin with Bill Simmons and it's just you being like, let's talk about. Let's talk about Aston Martin's.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Dan Campbell]

Ralph Romeo called lane zagging. And it's just, you know, unexpected car takes.

[Bill Simmons]

Not a cool car. It's the kind of car like an.

[Chris Ryan]

English secret agent driving in the car with Khan. You know, Just you driving Khan Knipple.

[Bill Simmons]

I wouldn't feel comfortable driving Khan around in the BMW Z3.

[Dan Campbell]

You think con Knippel has a chance at Bond in the future? Like you think it could be?

[Chris Ryan]

Did you catch this Milwaukee dive?

[Dan Campbell]

I'm well aware. Yeah. Well, I heard it slip on a previous pod and I was like, what happened there? Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

He was a guest on a podcast to give him a ride.

[Chris Ryan]

But you don't drive us anywhere.

[Bill Simmons]

You never have. You used to. If you showed up in an Uber, I would have been like, I'll give you a ride there.

[Dan Campbell]

In the like 13 through 17 days. I feel like frequently you were like, come on, I'll drive you. And now you're like, eh, you.

[Bill Simmons]

You bring your own car in a car. Like how am I going to drive.

[Dan Campbell]

You when you have a car back then too? But you were really into driving us around. I remember this well.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay. The BMW Z3 is.

[Dan Campbell]

My answer is Khan the new CR.

[Chris Ryan]

Can Khan do impressions like Double K?

[Bill Simmons]

What stage the best? Killing someone with your legs during sex as a female villain move still spectacular 31 years later.

[Dan Campbell]

It's really good.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know who thought of it. Give them an honorary Oscar.

[Dan Campbell]

What do you think about the fact that she's so that she gets off from that.

[Chris Ryan]

I was going to say one of the things that aged the best is that Famka Janssen's major acting note in this is I'm just going to come every five minutes no matter what. I'm like playing cards fully clothed while it's dressed. She kind of has an orgasm when she gets her back broken against the trees. She's like, oh, yes. The final one.

[Bill Simmons]

Multi orgasmic Bond film. Russian villains. A is the best I have. 1990s Joe Don Baker just coming in hot in different movies at a great stage in his career.

[Dan Campbell]

I mean, this is just crazy, though. Joe Don Baker was the villain in the previous Bond movie.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I know.

[Dan Campbell]

And then he's the. He's the CIA guy.

[Chris Ryan]

I do this sometimes. I feel like they have, like, oh, let's just bring him back.

[Dan Campbell]

I. I don't have a problem with it. I love Joe Don Baker.

[Chris Ryan]

But the reason it's not Felix is because Felix loses a leg in the previous. Is it in License to Kill?

[Dan Campbell]

Yes.

[Chris Ryan]

The last Dalton movie.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah. Or is Living Daylights.

[Bill Simmons]

What's Living Daylights? He got a leg severed.

[Dan Campbell]

You're right.

[Chris Ryan]

But then he comes back.

[Bill Simmons]

We mentioned the Austin Powers thing, and then for what stage the best. The integrated sponsors were BMW, which you mentioned, but then IBM ThinkPad, which launched in 92. This was the 95 model. This was the first computer I ever had. And I've had thinkpads ever since. But. But they. This movie does integrations. Perrier, BMW. But they're actually, like, organic. They're not. You don't feel like they're ramming them down your throat. They actually, like, factor in the plots, which I appreciated. Oh, I had mini driver. Just being in this movie randomly. And then the poster's really good.

[Chris Ryan]

If you want to.

[Bill Simmons]

It's just a good Bond poster. What'd you have?

[Dan Campbell]

Anything? I'm Pierce Brosnan. I think, like, he was well received. Not, like, overwhelmingly received. But this. Obviously this movie is a big hit. I don't think that the next three movies are all that good. But I do think he's a very good Bond because he kind of splits the difference. And I have, like, a very overextended, Simmons esque NBA center metaphor for you. Let's hear it for the. For the Bonds. Like Connery, obviously, Bill Russell. Lazenby is Wilt. Kind of got one. One. Chip Moore is Samson. Dalton is Patrick Ewing. Clearly Brosnan is Shaq. Daniel Craig is Wemby. Where can we go next?

[Bill Simmons]

That's really good.

[Chris Ryan]

Trying to think of who would be Kareem.

[Bill Simmons]

Just left out.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, I don't.

[Dan Campbell]

I. No one's really done that. No one's really had bond for 25 years.

[Chris Ryan]

Would you accept Daniel Craig as Embiid? Because that character is often defined by his, like, physical.

[Dan Campbell]

Here's the frailty. Embiid has won nothing and doesn't play.

[Chris Ryan]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

Other than that, I think you're right.

[Chris Ryan]

On Skyfall, all those movies are like, oh, you're getting old. You're addicted to drugs. You're an alcoholic and a womanizer. Not Embiid's, none of those things. But it's frail and now. But then we could be like, could Callum Turner be Wemby?

[Bill Simmons]

Couldn't Daniel Craig be Jokic? Physical gifts for the part, but just gets the job done and is convincing anyway.

[Dan Campbell]

Could be.

[Chris Ryan]

I like that.

[Dan Campbell]

So then Callum Turner has to be. Well, will he be the tallest Bond?

[Bill Simmons]

Do I know who Callum Turner is?

[Chris Ryan]

Did you watch that Masters of the Air movie at all? The show? The one who's on Apple.

[Dan Campbell]

He's in the Boys in the Boat. Did you see that?

[Craig]

He's dating Dua Lipa.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah, I think they're engaged.

[Bill Simmons]

She's incredible. Yeah, that's a great job by him.

[Dan Campbell]

Steve Bond that people believe he's gonna. I mean we could do like who should be Bond? There's a whole other one that's not official, right? No, but it's not officially rumored.

[Chris Ryan]

And now he's like. They're getting like chased all over Paris by paparazzi. It's like kind of. I feel like it's like turning up.

[Craig]

Just do a. Do the Bond song or is she in the movie?

[Dan Campbell]

It's a no brainer.

[Chris Ryan]

It's. It's.

[Craig]

Which would you rather?

[Dan Campbell]

Both.

[Craig]

Does she play a Bond?

[Dan Campbell]

I think just the song. Just the song in the movie is a little too tongue in cheek for me.

[Bill Simmons]

She's a home run. They would never go. She's the home run. Great at everything. Good interviewer. I like everything.

[Dan Campbell]

Big book reader. You know she has a book podc.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, yeah, she's. She's great. They'd never cross over and. And go outside the box, right? Do they have like a prototype for Bond? Like they would never do Daniel Kalua.

[Chris Ryan]

Or like he was the one.

[Dan Campbell]

There was a.

[Chris Ryan]

There was. That was before no Time to Die came back. I think it was more like what could we do?

[Dan Campbell]

I think him and Dev Patel were the only times where it was like, this would have been interesting if they tried this. But it's. There's. There's too much.

[Bill Simmons]

They talked about if they went American.

[Chris Ryan]

They talked about Idris Elba so long that he got two.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, he got too apart. But like funny if they did American though and the Brits all got mad and it's like naive fucking assholes know how we feel when you take all of our American parts.

[Dan Campbell]

That's some jerks. You're still mad about this.

[Chris Ryan]

Would you have Austin Butler stay in Your own. Do a British accent, though, or would you have him be like the American?

[Bill Simmons]

I think Bond has to be English, which goes back to the Brosnan conversation. I don't think he was the best Bond, but if AI spat out what Bond would be, it would spit out Pierce Brosnan. And it's like AI Bond.

[Dan Campbell]

And like you said, it felt like an. Even in 86, they knew they were just like, this guy's born to be. Even though he's Irish. He's born to be Bond. But he was 42 when he got the part, which is, I think, by far the oldest of any four movies or three. He did four.

[Bill Simmons]

Four.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Because some of the people we'll talk about with casting motives, but one in particular was Hugh Grant had some momentum and I just don't think he could have been Bond. I don't see.

[Dan Campbell]

I think he knew it never would have worked.

[Bill Simmons]

More interesting would have ruined it.

[Dan Campbell]

You want to wait for casting what ifs?

[Bill Simmons]

We can do it.

[Dan Campbell]

I mean, the most interesting one is Liam Neeson. Yeah, that would have been different, but it would have been closer, I think, to ultimately what Daniel Craig was, which was like burlier, tougher, bigger, you know, kind of like a somebody who is. Who needs to be physical in the part in a way that Bond is.

[Chris Ryan]

Not historically and carrying a lot of pain around. Like, he would have to have like a dramatic take on Bond, plus famously endowed Liam Neeson.

[Dan Campbell]

It's true. You think he would have been the first Bond to whip it out?

[Bill Simmons]

I just think that he would have had full frontal. Yeah, I think we would have fit the part.

[Dan Campbell]

That would be a good way to end a Bond movie. Like the end of Boogie Nights.

[Bill Simmons]

He's just saying he's a big.

[Chris Ryan]

You have a license to kill star.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah. These are the living daylights.

[Bill Simmons]

I have the biggest gun. Do you have any? What stage the best.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, I mean, it's just. It's a. It never fails for me. When you're trying to kill the hero of the movie in the most elaborate, ornate, time consuming way possible, instead of just shooting him in the head, you also have to give him a speech. Bond should have died nine times in this movie. But they're like, you don't understand, Mr. Bond, is that I am going to tell you all about the fall of Russia.

[Dan Campbell]

There's one very bad version of it in this movie that is when they're trying to crack Natalia's encryption code near the end and Boris is doing the pen thing and Bond is just standing there and it's like, just shoot him in the head, you know? Like, it is the Scott evil thing where it's like, why do you even need Bond to be here? Just kill him and get it over with. Like, he's only watching.

[Chris Ryan]

Wait, we got to get the other. We got to get the girl or we got to get Bond to come. I have the other, which is the best I have. I hadn't noticed this before when I watched it, but when they blow up the. Damn. The first action sequence and he blows the whole thing up and he's flying away, he does like a fucking victory lap. Like he's flying away. He barely gets away from the explosion. And he's like, you know what? I'm going back to one of these.

[Dan Campbell]

Like, for that. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Great shot. Gordo Award. Most cinematic. Has to be the opening scene.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah. The dam, the wall, the plane hitting the dam.

[Bill Simmons]

Chess. Rockwell Brocklander's award. Best character name. You could argue it might be the Zenya on a top award.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

I think we should actually change it.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't understand how they even came up with that.

[Dan Campbell]

It's brilliant.

[Bill Simmons]

It's sexual. But then you actually look at it. It's like not sexual, but it feels super sexual. It's like the perfect.

[Chris Ryan]

Do you think the name came before her? Sexual proclivity for squeezing men.

[Dan Campbell]

It's a. She comes from a long line of onotops. Yeah. Those. Georgian mother taught me.

[Chris Ryan]

Like, her grand. My grandmother taught her.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah. I think Boris Grushenko is a very good Russian hacker name, too. It's like if you had to come up with a Russian hacker name, you couldn't do better than that.

[Bill Simmons]

Hans Gruber Scale Villain ranking. We don't get to give this out very often. I had zenya as a nine and a half out of ten.

[Chris Ryan]

And Gruber's a 10.

[Bill Simmons]

006 is. Gruber's a 10. 00 6. AKA Sean Bean. Probably like a seven and a half, eight, I think.

[Chris Ryan]

He starts really hot and heavy and then hits a rookie wall.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Dan Campbell]

Little shaky on his plan. Little. Little shaky on his.

[Chris Ryan]

Well, he's like Gruber. It's like for all the talk about revenge and. And setting the political landscape right. He really just wants money.

[Dan Campbell]

He wants money. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

CR's flex.

[Chris Ryan]

This is really exciting for me. The Rick Trichetti Guard Meet Award for the most memorable death by a security guard or other bystander whom the movie treats as inconsequential. But he probably had a spouse and kids who love him. And it's got to go to the train driver who Travathy is like full speed ahead, as in tank is looking at him. And if the tank projectile doesn't kill him, the ensuing inferno doesn't kill him. Then he flies into like full speed ahead into a tank and a tunnel. Can you imagine that guy just be like, I just wanted a good job with good hours.

[Dan Campbell]

Presumably he's got a pension, right?

[Chris Ryan]

Sure. In Russia those things really worked out.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah, James Bond killed him.

[Chris Ryan]

That train is also going like 90 miles per hour and people are easily jumping off of it and stuff.

[Bill Simmons]

We'll take one more break and then we have some more categories. How old were you when you realized you were the son of a president? I don't think anyone's ever asked me that before. FX's love story, John F. Kennedy Jr. And Carolyn Bessette.

[Craig]

I didn't think I could love someone like this until you.

[Bill Simmons]

From executive producer Ryan Murphy.

[Dan Campbell]

It's not a question of if I want to spend the rest of my.

[Chris Ryan]

Life with you, it's if I'm cut.

[Bill Simmons]

Out to be Mrs. JFK Jr. FX's love story, John F. Kennedy Jr. And Carolyn Bessette. Watch now on FX, Hulu and Hulu on Disney for bundle subscribers.

[Dan Campbell]

When you host with Cut Water canned.

[Bill Simmons]

Cocktails, expect company, entertain effortlessly. Cut Water real cocktails perfectly mixed. Copyright 2026 Cut Water Spirits, San Diego, CA.

[Dan Campbell]

Enjoy responsibly. All right.

[Bill Simmons]

Butch's Girlfriend Award weak link of the film. You mentioned multiple scenes where Bond just should have died. I'd go with that. I think the plot's confusing and sometimes I just feel like I'm like movie dumb sometimes if the plots just too many variables, I'm just. My brain starts glazing over. But I still don't 100% understand what happened in this movie.

[Dan Campbell]

Well, there's a.

[Bill Simmons]

Can you explain it in a sentence?

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah. A former MI6 agent is seeking revenge on the nation of England and attempting to become extraordinarily wealthy by gaining control of a powerful nation destroying satellite called GoldenEye.

[Chris Ryan]

Yes.

[Dan Campbell]

Is that. Is that.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dan Campbell]

Did I miss anything?

[Chris Ryan]

There's a lot of confusion.

[Bill Simmons]

There's a lot of.

[Chris Ryan]

Is there two goldeneyes there?

[Dan Campbell]

There?

[Bill Simmons]

I thought there were.

[Dan Campbell]

Okay, there definitively are two satellites.

[Bill Simmons]

But if goldeneye was this important, wouldn't they protect it better?

[Chris Ryan]

But that's the problem with this end of the Soviet Union.

[Dan Campbell]

They said that up into Death Star as well, you know, we know how that ended.

[Bill Simmons]

All right, maybe I'm just dumb.

[Dan Campbell]

I think. I think I do find all James Bond Plot mechanics a little dumb.

[Chris Ryan]

It's strange that they. I almost wonder whether they make them overly complicated so that they don't ever have to like, be thoroughly interrogated. Like, we go into James Bond movies and even the Craig ones, you're like, what?

[Dan Campbell]

I feel. I totally feel that way in the Craig ones, which. And I love those movies, but I. I find most of them to be a little incoherent.

[Bill Simmons]

It's almost like how your iPhone overheats when it gets too hot.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And just like phases down.

[Chris Ryan]

This is what happens when you have like nine writers, four producers who are all like, I'm actually the person who's in charge.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah. It doesn't really matter though, because one of the great things, like I have learned this, like, learning to love the series over the years, they are style over substance. That is the point. And so if you know that what you really are there for is shaken not stirred and Zenia on a top and big explosions, then just roll with it and it's okay. It's not trying to be anything different.

[Bill Simmons]

From that you just described me because the plot, it's like I could really try to pay attention and try to thread these needles or I could just turn my brain off and get to the next thing. And that's kind of where I landed.

[Dan Campbell]

I think that's why they're fun in that 9 hour chunks too. Like you said when you were talking.

[Chris Ryan]

It'S almost better when you're like, oh, is this Never say Never or Diamonds are Forever? And you're like, oh, this doesn't really matter. Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

What's age the worst? We mentioned the Tina Turner theme song. Q calls Bond a misogynistic dinosaur. I don't know, man. I'm trying to root for him here. Need a hero for two hours.

[Dan Campbell]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

I need a character assassination. A Bond. This is kind of my guy. I'm trying to buy into him saving the world. You're fucking taking shots at him. Maybe, Maybe a little better. Pregame speech.

[Chris Ryan]

Sure.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know if Rabel threw that at Drake May before the super bowl.

[Chris Ryan]

But it makes more sense though. Did you see the mic'd up for the super bowl with Barrymore and Williams being like, this isn't on us, like indicating it was on Drake.

[Dan Campbell]

Damn.

[Bill Simmons]

We're not talking about that.

[Chris Ryan]

Okay.

[Dan Campbell]

I mean, they were right. I thought Patsy played very well.

[Bill Simmons]

I saw the, the mic'd up when Drake May got hit near the end of the game and landed on his shoulder and couldn't get up and vrabel went to help him and realized he couldn't pull him up with his right shoulder because right shoulder's probably broken and kind of helped him with his shoulder pads. I saw that one. Did you see that one, Craig?

[Chris Ryan]

That was like Friday.

[Bill Simmons]

That wasn't great. That's like he was severely injured.

[Craig]

He did look very injured in that moment at the end of the game.

[Dan Campbell]

Really? Jerry Seinfeld. That's a shame. Energy from over here.

[Bill Simmons]

What's age the worst? I thought the gadget scene could have been more fun.

[Chris Ryan]

And it's just lukewarm. It's just they just didn't have a lot of juice in those gadgets. Yeah, it was like, look at my leg cast that shoots a missile. It's like, when the fuck am I ever going to wear a leg cast?

[Dan Campbell]

Well, Drake may need James Bond, like.

[Chris Ryan]

Rolling around being like, no, don't mind my broken leg. I'm still on the. On the job.

[Dan Campbell]

You think Drake should pivot to Bond? Would that be a better career move for him?

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know if he has the personality. My last one was I thought the score and the soundtrack just sucked.

[Chris Ryan]

Dude. Thank you. So the most egregious offense in the history of Bond movies might very well be the music that's playing as Bond and the girl are in the Aston Martin and Zenny is in the Ferrari. It's like Super Mario Brothers. Pause music.

[Bill Simmons]

It's terrible.

[Chris Ryan]

And you're like, this is the fucking coolest guy in the world, the hottest woman in the world, and two of the best cars in the world. And we got fucking Luigi jumping around in the background like, what is happening?

[Dan Campbell]

He really got cahow with that one. He really enjoyed that.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, I was thinking like two years later, the Saint came out, which we already did on rewatch most of the time. And one of the great things about the Saint, it's same kind of thing there in all these locations. The music and the sound and the score. And they're tapping into all that music from the orb and like all that shit.

[Dan Campbell]

I have one more, One more. What's age of the words passwords for satellites that can blow up the world having passwords like chair.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Not even like three dollar signs at the end or anything.

[Chris Ryan]

Well, they were those early days of passwords.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah. What was the first password you ever used?

[Chris Ryan]

It was probably like, I don't know. Iverson Killer is the best.

[Bill Simmons]

It was like.

[Chris Ryan]

It was literally like, Iverson.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

What was your first email address?

[Chris Ryan]

Well, I had like a paragraph long edu Email address for a while.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, that was your first personal one.

[Chris Ryan]

And then my first one was Hotmail. Crying, crying33hotmail.com.

[Bill Simmons]

What was yours, Sean?

[Dan Campbell]

I. I'm dead serious. I think it was like Reservoir Dog 3 to 7. Dead serious.

[Chris Ryan]

What was the server?

[Bill Simmons]

This would be a good podcast.

[Dan Campbell]

Aol.

[Chris Ryan]

Maybe it would also be fun if we could go back into those email accounts and see, like, what. What's been happening in there.

[Bill Simmons]

What was your first email.

[Craig]

Instant messenger account? Did you need an email for that?

[Chris Ryan]

You had to have a username. You had to, like, have a chat name.

[Craig]

Yeah, I had that. My first email was probably Craig Rollback at Yahoo.

[Chris Ryan]

But what was your AOL name? Or were you too old? I don't remember. You don't know what it was like, Miguel Tejada, 445.

[Craig]

Mark Ellis.

[Bill Simmons]

My first one was Dr. Loomis, 22 at a.

[Dan Campbell]

Seriously?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

So good, man.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah. That's why we're all here today.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. I watched AOL for 15 years staring at a wall, staring through the wall.

[Dan Campbell]

My other.

[Chris Ryan]

What's age? The worst is the one moment where they try to make it serious and Bond is like, wistfully staring at the sea in the Caribbean and it's just like, give me a break, dog.

[Bill Simmons]

You're not.

[Chris Ryan]

You're not mad about any of this. Yeah. You're not traumatized by this.

[Dan Campbell]

So it's okay when Michael Mann does it, but it's not okay when James Bond does it.

[Chris Ryan]

Is that if Skyfall, like, where it's just like. That is what it's like. But he's like, banging ladies and driving cars.

[Bill Simmons]

You just want to hit on people at work and drive a cool car. Stop.

[Dan Campbell]

Is this the least sex James Bond.

[Bill Simmons]

Has in a movie and the most people he's killed?

[Chris Ryan]

I think he takes down Natalia.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah. But that's it.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, I guess so.

[Dan Campbell]

One time, right?

[Chris Ryan]

Pretty chase. No. He has sex with the therapist. With Serena Gordon.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, he also. He brings Zenyana top to orgasm just from their steam room fight.

[Chris Ryan]

True.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

We haven't gotten to give this out yet. I'm really excited. The earn this award for cringy quote. That should have been vetted by William Goldman first. After that whole action scene when somebody crashes. And Bond goes, the things we do for frequent flyer mileage, which is fucking terrible. Back to the workshop. 45 writers in this movie. He had a couple groaners that definitely had Austin Powers DNA where you're like, oh, Mike Myers is like, I'm definitely making fun of this. He Did Ruffalo hand and Rubic Patridge overacting. Word has to go to Alan coming as Boris.

[Chris Ryan]

There's a very funny Sean Bean moment on the train where he goes to James, like, see you in hell. And then he looks at Orov, the guy who's got the gun on Bonnie, and he goes like this, like, to like indicate that he should kill him. But it's like, all right, Bean, take. Take a couple miles per hour off the head nod.

[Bill Simmons]

Sean, you have a flex category.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah, I already talked about the Dan Campbell scale, but there's a criteria orgasm here.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Is there?

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, I didn't realize.

[Dan Campbell]

During the opening sequence, when Bond is dragging the rack that has all of the tanks to make sure he doesn't get shot by any of the Russian soldiers, one of the soldiers accidentally fires on him. And then Oremov turns around and shoots him. And that's like pulled right out of the Wild Bunch. That's in the opening. In the opening scene in the Wild Bunch. It's like an homage to that.

[Bill Simmons]

That's awesome.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, you should start making them up. You should be like, obviously you'll never know. Yeah, obviously. Natalia is a reference to Paris, Texas.

[Dan Campbell]

This is Tarkovsky's Ivan Rublev. You know, we. We all remember that moment. Yeah. Yeah, I should do that.

[Bill Simmons]

The Rob Mahoney thinks smells like team spirit sucks Hottest take award. Just shouting him out. I have one, but I'll go last. Do you have one?

[Chris Ryan]

Judy D. Den's take on M predicts the coming advanced analytics revolution in 95. She would be right at the cutting edge of getting data and just making data based choices. It's much more instinctual before that, you know.

[Dan Campbell]

And what about her sense of misogyny though?

[Chris Ryan]

Well, that, that also is a precursor to like how the workplace would change. But I think my real one would be that after watching Bond and Travathian, I think we missed.

[Dan Campbell]

We.

[Chris Ryan]

We missed a step by not making a Bond buddy movie along the way. And I.

[Bill Simmons]

And the buddy dies at the end or.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, like Bond and Alec movie would have been awesome. Like a pre. Like a pre one. And it's all of their relationship. And then Goldeneye is like what happens after.

[Dan Campbell]

I think part of the reason the movie works is that those two guys actually have chemistry.

[Bill Simmons]

Yes.

[Dan Campbell]

And maybe more chemistry. He does with Isabella Scrub Co. In my opinion. But that's a good one. I. They never. They've still never really taken a risk like that. They've actually done some. They did audacious stuff with Craig, but It still was Bond.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Dan Campbell]

They never. And I'm very curious to see if Amazon is like, fuck it, we're trying something totally different.

[Bill Simmons]

What do you have for out of Steak? Do you have one?

[Dan Campbell]

I think Brosnan would be considered the second best Bond ever. If Martin Campbell made all of his movies. And the other three are so poor, even though the directors are fine. It's like Roger Spottiswood and Michael Apted, like, Not. And Lee Tomahori. But those movies are really, in my opinion, really not good.

[Bill Simmons]

But.

[Dan Campbell]

But Campbell is responsible for two of the seven best. I think maybe seven or eight best Bond movies. And Brosnan loved Campbell and he was like. He was a warrior. There's a great featurette of him directing this movie on the Blu Ray that is like. He screams action so loud and is just like, let's go. Sharp as a knife. We're going again, like, really? In his New Zealand accent. And he was like. He was the general of James Bond for a few years there. Unfortunately, he didn't get to work on them again.

[Bill Simmons]

Mine is. I put a lot of thought into who I think should have been the best Bond ever. After Connery, out of all the actors we've had, I landed on Colin Farrell. I think he would have been the best Bond. He's got the accent, the Irish. Like, Connery was Scottish. Right. So it's in the vicinity. So I think he could have pulled that off. I think he could have looked like Bond, like the. Everything that we think Bond is in our head. I think he could have done the action stuff. There would have been a little Sonny Crock at Miami Vice in there. Could have different hairdos for each movie. And I just think he would have been really good. Right in that time when they were casting Daniel Craig, but he was having a lot of issues and it wasn't going to happen.

[Dan Campbell]

Okay, Would you trade Miami Vice completely, the movie, for Colin Farrell as bond for 10 years?

[Bill Simmons]

No way.

[Chris Ryan]

Let me, let me. Can I. I'm going to talk to my GM and I'm going to call you back. Phone call. Ring, ring. Would you trade Ralph Fiennes? Is any of his, like, sort of modern renaissance for him being Bond?

[Dan Campbell]

I wouldn't trade Grand Budapest Hotel.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay.

[Dan Campbell]

Everything else is on the board. Voldemort. I don't care.

[Craig]

This is a good idea for a pod movie trades.

[Bill Simmons]

Movie trade. Just, oh, yeah, Liam Neeson is too tall for Bond, too. Liam Neeson's like, 6, 4.

[Chris Ryan]

It's also an interesting tidbit.

[Dan Campbell]

Alan Turner's like, 65 or 6? 6.

[Chris Ryan]

That Natasha Richardson, like, forbid him from doing it. I couldn't tell if it was a joke, but it was an interesting little.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, he claimed wrinkle.

[Chris Ryan]

He said that Natasha Richardson, his wife at the time, didn't want him to do it.

[Dan Campbell]

That's right.

[Bill Simmons]

Casting what ifs.

[Dan Campbell]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

Before bro. Before Brosn Leon passed, first choice was Mel Gibson. Crazy. Hugh Grant was smart enough not to know. Wait, Conor was pushing for Mel Gibson? Mel Gibson was. Was one of the biggest stars in the world. Little old at the time, I think. A little too old. Australian.

[Dan Campbell]

How. I mean, is he that much older than Brosnan, though? He's got to be in his mid-40s at that point.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, maybe you're right. He just looked a little older. This is the other thing is that some guy is like.

[Bill Simmons]

No, I would say he was probably like 39 to 42 range.

[Dan Campbell]

That's. I am 40 inches. Brosna.

[Bill Simmons]

I think Mel Gibson would have been a mistake. And they met with Ray Fines. Who quiz shows 94.

[Dan Campbell]

He could have done it.

[Bill Simmons]

He could have done it.

[Dan Campbell]

He could have done it. It.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't.

[Dan Campbell]

It would have been different because he's a little bit more intellectual. So you. It would have brought a different character to it.

[Chris Ryan]

It's. He.

[Bill Simmons]

The swordsman you want in the. In the bottom.

[Chris Ryan]

He can be, but, like, you know, bigger splash.

[Dan Campbell]

I was gonna say he's done a couple of parts where you're like, that's. That is a. That's an old.

[Chris Ryan]

But now he's m. So it doesn't matter.

[Craig]

Mel is two years younger than Brosnan.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Jude laws three years to, like, three years later. Talented Mr. Ripley. If that had come out in 94 the same way it did. And Bond is opening. I think he's in there.

[Dan Campbell]

Was he discussed when they went for Craig? I assume he was.

[Bill Simmons]

He must have been too late at that point. Maybe. Maybe he was discussed. I think Jude Law in the late 90s would have been really good. They said Paul McGahn was the studio second choice if Brosnan couldn't do it. I don't really have a Paul McGahn history with nail.

[Dan Campbell]

And I. I mean, he's in that. He's. He's been in a lot of British television. I was reading about him a little bit this morning, like he was in Horatio Hornblower that series. It was on.

[Bill Simmons]

And I don't know. This was in the research, but Billy Zabka, they looked at.

[Dan Campbell]

Nice.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, for sure.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know if I didn't was.

[Dan Campbell]

Joyce Heiser considered as well.

[Bill Simmons]

I was positive. I believe that for Zinnia, the Sean Bean character was supposed to be older and Anthony Hopkins and Alan Rickman both turned it down and then they decided to make him younger. Hopkins was red hot at that point. It's just a different movie if he's like, basically like his Bond is his mentor. Basically.

[Chris Ryan]

Bardem and Vaults are definitely the most esteemed and Malik are like the most esteemed actors who have ever played Bond adversaries. Correct? More or less.

[Dan Campbell]

Well, I mean, Robert Shaw.

[Craig]

Oh, right.

[Dan Campbell]

Robert Shaw was the ur Bond villain. He's amazing. And that was. Right. Different Jaws.

[Bill Simmons]

Paulina Porizkova and Eva Herzigova were offered the role of Natalia and both turned it down.

[Dan Campbell]

Paulina Peretskova would have been my choice over Itzabella Skorupko.

[Bill Simmons]

Can she act, though?

[Dan Campbell]

Can Isabella Skoro?

[Bill Simmons]

I kind of liked her. Thought she was delightful.

[Dan Campbell]

Not really my thing. I read also Elle McPherson. I would have. I would have.

[Chris Ryan]

They were just going through the SI swimsuit issue.

[Bill Simmons]

Literally, like, Courtney Cox couldn't get this verified. It was on the Internet that she allegedly turned down Zenya on a Top.

[Chris Ryan]

Did you have to find out if this was true?

[Bill Simmons]

I did not.

[Dan Campbell]

Not.

[Bill Simmons]

I didn't pass the stink test. To me.

[Dan Campbell]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't. I just don't see Courtney Cox's Zenya or. I know it would have infuriated Craig.

[Craig]

Courtney Cox, two thumbs up.

[Bill Simmons]

Zenya over top, though. No, that's a stretch.

[Chris Ryan]

Americanization of her name.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Dan Campbell]

That was her character from over the Top. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

How do you feel about John Woo being approached as director and turning it down?

[Dan Campbell]

Boy, it's an amazing what if?

[Chris Ryan]

I mean, he basically gets to do this with Am I My Mission Impossible too.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah. But then you. So you don't get Broken Arrow, which means maybe you don't get face Off.

[Bill Simmons]

So I. Do you get Broken Arrow in the rewatchables.

[Craig]

Why not?

[Dan Campbell]

I love Broken Arrow.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, our girls in that.

[Chris Ryan]

Samantha Mathis.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Yeah.

[Dan Campbell]

Some really good Slater.

[Chris Ryan]

Samantha Mathis chasing down a stealth bomber. What a great movie.

[Bill Simmons]

It was also the birth of Travolta just being like, I'm a maniac.

[Dan Campbell]

Yes.

[Chris Ryan]

He's just the cage exposure.

[Bill Simmons]

You hold on, everybody, for the next five years.

[Dan Campbell]

Yes. He is a fruitcake in that movie. He's really going for it.

[Bill Simmons]

Absolutely amazing. Best. That guy Joe, Don Baker and Alan Cumming. Not eligible. But I think Alan Cumming was that guy when they made the movie. Now he's out and coming I have.

[Chris Ryan]

And please forgive me if I'm brutalizing this name. Cheky Cario as the defense minister. He's been in tons of stuff.

[Dan Campbell]

I was wondering if you guys would raise the name Gottfried. John, who's a German actor who plays Urumov. The general.

[Bill Simmons]

I have him as my winner.

[Dan Campbell]

Proof of life.

[Bill Simmons]

Thought CR was gonna take it. I was giving it to you.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

He's shares the prison cell with David Morris.

[Chris Ryan]

I forgot. That's right.

[Bill Simmons]

He escapes. He's the French guy.

[Dan Campbell]

Very unmistakable face. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't think he was eligible for Bond. Dean Waiters. I think Zenya overtops in it too much.

[Chris Ryan]

I had Robbie Coltrane, Zukovsky and Mini Driver.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, that's good.

[Chris Ryan]

Would you have that if Mini Driver not become Mini Driver?

[Dan Campbell]

Probably not. But she's pretty foxy in the movie. Sure. Terrible singer.

[Bill Simmons]

Stand by on man recasting couch. Director city. So I just think Joe Don Baker. I love Joe Don Baker. He shouldn't be in the movie because he was a villain in a previous Bond movie. It's stupid.

[Chris Ryan]

So who do you want? Felix Lighter.

[Bill Simmons]

Can I offer you Nick Nolte?

[Dan Campbell]

Oh, that would have been fun.

[Bill Simmons]

Like kind of doing Jack Kate's.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Wins fucking Oscar for Prince of Tides. And Nick, what's next?

[Bill Simmons]

Listen, we're cutting Nick a check. I don't know if Nick put away a lot of his money. We need you for 20 days.

[Dan Campbell]

It's a great call.

[Chris Ryan]

3 million banging around then.

[Dan Campbell]

So that's after.

[Bill Simmons]

Not old enough.

[Dan Campbell]

It's after blue chips.

[Chris Ryan]

I love when I just throw. You have an immediate rule?

[Bill Simmons]

No, it's got to be like a late 40s, early 50s with some alcohol.

[Dan Campbell]

It's 96. Like is that or 95? That's I love trouble, right?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, it's right after another 48 hours. Like four years after that.

[Chris Ryan]

Okay. No, I just think Desque is just as good of a suggestion.

[Bill Simmons]

How about if he's wasn't old enough? He's like a leading man. No, shut up about Brian Dey.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, definitely.

[Dan Campbell]

That would be good too. Definitely.

[Bill Simmons]

I was just trying to think of like grizzled older.

[Chris Ryan]

What about Dustin Hoffman? Yeah, you know.

[Bill Simmons]

Craig has a flex category.

[Dan Campbell]

Was Olivier not available?

[Craig]

I'll defer to you guys on this because I'm sure you've thought about this, but I wanted to build the female sex killer. Mount Rushmore.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, Jesus Christ.

[Craig]

Kill men during sex.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm going to buckle up.

[Dan Campbell]

Up.

[Craig]

Xenia on the top.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Craig]

Katherine Trammell. Basic instincts. Got to be Got to be S from Species. And the fourth. The fourth. I think this is the one that can be open. You have Amy Dunn from Gone Girl. Is there a better fourth?

[Dan Campbell]

She's got that great on the top scene with. With Doogie Howser. Yeah. That's incredible stuff.

[Craig]

Is there anyone I'm missing on this? Mount Rushmore? Because I think it's a tidy four.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, I personally really like Jeremy Irons's girlfriend in Die Hard With a Vengeance with this. The Scythe.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah, she's pretty good.

[Bill Simmons]

I wish you had prepared me for this.

[Craig]

I should have texted you.

[Bill Simmons]

What did the Google say? Did you Google it at all?

[Craig]

It looks like it's really these four.

[Chris Ryan]

Did you Google female killers? Sex, Mount Rushmore?

[Craig]

Yeah, a little bit.

[Bill Simmons]

Liz is like, what are you doing?

[Craig]

Nothing.

[Bill Simmons]

I think that might be the four.

[Dan Campbell]

That's very good.

[Bill Simmons]

It's a really good one.

[Dan Campbell]

Me and Goth in the. In the Pearl X movies.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, yeah. It's a good. It's a good later period.

[Bill Simmons]

There's probably some horror stuff we're forgetting.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah, they.

[Bill Simmons]

Did somebody do that? And it follows.

[Dan Campbell]

I think it's really more the Ghost.

[Bill Simmons]

What about Scream movies? Rebecca Gayheart.

[Chris Ryan]

Well, I don't want to say movies, but Mikey Madison's pretty good.

[Dan Campbell]

She is. That's a good one.

[Bill Simmons]

Good one. Craig. Half ass. Internet research. The opening scene when an admiral seduced and killed had to be rewritten because the US military was like, no. And they changed it to Canada.

[Sponsor Announcer]

Canada.

[Bill Simmons]

Just taking shots.

[Dan Campbell]

It's really funny.

[Bill Simmons]

Goldeneye was the nickname of Ian Fleming's beachfront house in Jamaica, where he wrote a bunch of Bond novels in the 50s.

[Dan Campbell]

But did you also read that it was also the name of a military operation strategy in the event that England was invaded through Spain through the Nazis Partnership with Jesus.

[Chris Ryan]

I didn't know that. With Franco.

[Dan Campbell]

With Franco. And that Ian Fleming was working as a spy at that time. And so he worked on that strategy and then he named his estate after that strategy, which was never ultimately deployed, but then some. So I think Michael France, who wrote the original version of the screenplay, he must have known that and put that in because there's all this stuff about what happened in World War II with the Cossacks and everything. So it feels like a big homage to that.

[Bill Simmons]

It would be funny if the actual reason was his first name begins with I. And he just was drunk one night. It's like, I will name this place Goldeneye. And that was just how it became 90,000 cans of Perrier water were used in the collision between the tank and the Perrier.

[Chris Ryan]

Truck.

[Dan Campbell]

Truck.

[Bill Simmons]

And every other soda. Turned it down. And soda water, everything. And Perry is like, sign us up. And it was great for them. How many people you think he killed in this movie? 60, 75, 47. Highest ever for a Bond. Apex Mountain Brosnan? I'm gonna say yes.

[Chris Ryan]

It's. Yeah, probably.

[Bill Simmons]

It was kind of BROSNAN Time in 95 because it's like a huge success.

[Chris Ryan]

It basically revives the franchise. Right, Right.

[Dan Campbell]

It might be Mamma Mia.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, are you just.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dan Campbell]

I just saw this for the first time. I did not know how popular these movies were. I have now learned how popular they are.

[Bill Simmons]

And is this in your divorced women's group?

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah, well, pretty much. It's called watching a movie. Amanda asked me to watch, and I enjoyed the movie, but he's a big part of the movie, like, more than I expected. He's like the third lead of the movie. And I feel like to a younger generation, he's way more famous for that movie than he is for James Bond.

[Bill Simmons]

Was he Thomas Crown Affair?

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah, he was.

[Bill Simmons]

I would argue he might be more famous for that, too, than goldeneye.

[Chris Ryan]

But I think people's favorite Brosnan is probably Hot Fuzz.

[Dan Campbell]

He's super funny and Hot Fuzz. He was just in black back. He was also in black Back. Yeah. Yeah. He's having a good little stretch.

[Chris Ryan]

I like Brosnan. And he's in. But Taylor. Isn't he in a Taylor Sheridan? No, he's in mob Land. It's not Taylor Sheridan, but it feels like it.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah, he's always been good. He was in the first John McTiernan movie, Nomads. He was the lead of. Of the. Before Die Hard, before all those movies.

[Bill Simmons]

Isabella Scarabco. I'm gonna say yes for Apex Mount.

[Chris Ryan]

Appear in a film called Cougar Club several years later.

[Dan Campbell]

Did you write and direct that film?

[Chris Ryan]

I've been waiting for the 4K to arrive.

[Bill Simmons]

That's gotta be on Tubi. BMW Z3. No question.

[Dan Campbell]

It was until you shit on it. On this pod.

[Bill Simmons]

Everyone makes mistakes.

[Chris Ryan]

Is the song goldeneye and the performance the anti apex of Bond theme songs?

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, I think it's the worst.

[Craig]

What's the best?

[Chris Ryan]

Honestly, I. I kind of might go. Skyfall.

[Dan Campbell]

Diamonds Are Forever is amazing.

[Bill Simmons]

I mean, Carly Simon, for your Eyes Only. Yeah, that was massive.

[Dan Campbell]

Goldfinger is also amazing.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm probably butchering her name every time. That should be on Brand Famka. Jan.

[Dan Campbell]

X Men.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dan Campbell]

Jean Gray.

[Bill Simmons]

Bond movies. No, no.

[Chris Ryan]

What would you say Apex Mountain for Bond movies is Skyfall.

[Bill Simmons]

I think it's got to be Conner era. These were like events when they came out.

[Dan Campbell]

I think Scarfall made like a billion dollars. The most financially successful, but maybe not for inflation. That, like Dr. No from Russia With Love. That first Connery era, I think is probably.

[Bill Simmons]

I think that in the 60s, it has to be somewhere in there. Joe Don Baker.

[Dan Campbell]

No Walking Tall.

[Bill Simmons]

So I have Mitchell and he played Mitchell. And then the Mystery Science Theater guys made fun of Mitchell, which is Mitchell.

[Dan Campbell]

In the film Mitchell.

[Bill Simmons]

The best hour and a half of comedy in Comedy Central history was them doing Mitchell. I really loved it because they would always do like these weird 40s and 50s movies. And then one time they decided to do Mitchell and it was fucking awesome.

[Dan Campbell]

Had you seen Mitchell before? You saw them do that?

[Bill Simmons]

No, I didn't. All they're doing is just ragging on Joe Baker for 90 minutes and he's like a. Like a ladies man, grizzled drunk detective in it. And they're just fucking killing him. It's really funny. It's probably a new thing to post Cold War. No.

[Chris Ryan]

No.

[Bill Simmons]

Perrier. I think you could say yes. Sparkling water. Perry had a bad rap for a while. It's starting to come around. Do you.

[Chris Ryan]

Is Perrier just being completely blown off the face of the earth by all the fancy smoking people?

[Bill Simmons]

Just call it sparkling water now. What's your relationship with Perrier? Craig?

[Craig]

Never really drank it.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Craig]

San Pelly. That's my.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

It's a lot of competitors.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

By the way. No to any of them. We're happy to sponsor. We'll put you right there. I'll drink from Perrier.

[Chris Ryan]

No offense to San Pellegrino, but it always strikes me that they are. I find their rewards or their prize money for Top Chef to be pretty cheap. It's like you get $200,000. It's like, this guy's the best chef in the country. Shouldn't he get like something more than that?

[Dan Campbell]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

Alan Cumming. No, no.

[Chris Ryan]

Traders.

[Dan Campbell]

Traders. Yeah. He's having his moment. Do you think he's proud of his work as Boris Grushenko?

[Bill Simmons]

He's basically test driving his Traders hosting role as Boris. Just a Russian accent.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

By the way, one of my goals for 2026 is to get Rachel Lindsay on Traders. I'm just laying the hammer down now.

[Dan Campbell]

Can I. Can I.

[Bill Simmons]

She needs to go on Traders. They need to have her. And. And I think she'd be amazing.

[Dan Campbell]

I have no problem with that whatsoever. But can I just Make a suggestion. I think you should go on Traders. Traders.

[Bill Simmons]

I should go on Traders.

[Dan Campbell]

I think you would be incredible on Traders.

[Chris Ryan]

I just don't know if he could stay.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like a guilt by association with who's on the show though, kind of.

[Dan Campbell]

But like, you are. You're a strategist.

[Chris Ryan]

How would you have dealt with.

[Dan Campbell]

You love a game.

[Chris Ryan]

How would you have dealt with Rapaport on Traders?

[Bill Simmons]

Probably would try to get him out.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dan Campbell]

Think about it. Just think.

[Bill Simmons]

But Rachel, they have all these like Real Housewives from Beverly Hills types. Like, get Rachel. She was. She would have been way better than anyone else.

[Dan Campbell]

It would be great. Trade should be a package. The two of you guys, we can.

[Craig]

Do our own traders in Bill's house.

[Chris Ryan]

That's true. We could do rigor Traders.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

It would be hilarious if it was like, Bill's taking a two month sabbatical. For what? What's he doing? He got season five of Traders. Everything shutting down.

[Dan Campbell]

I was watching it with Eileen and it did occur to me. I was like, I feel like Bill would be good at this.

[Bill Simmons]

It would be better if you were.

[Chris Ryan]

Like, you know what? I'm stepping away for mental health purposes. And then it was like six months later.

[Dan Campbell]

Bill Sentry.

[Bill Simmons]

I have said to carry.

[Chris Ryan]

I'm just. I'm experiencing burnout. You know, I've seen trade deadlines.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, because I remember anything everyone's ever said to me, I would never slip up with the. Well, we took them out and then like you said. We? Why'd you say we?

[Chris Ryan]

You would never do that.

[Dan Campbell]

Or you would.

[Bill Simmons]

I would never do that.

[Chris Ryan]

Interesting.

[Bill Simmons]

I would just keep a low profile.

[Chris Ryan]

What did Carrie say?

[Bill Simmons]

I would never do the thing where it's like, why are we here for. With the. When they have. Sometimes the three traders are all eating breakfast first and then the fourth person comes in and it's like, hey, like, why are you three here first? Are you the Traders? I just would have immediately been suspicious. Yeah.

[Dan Campbell]

Sounds like maybe you want in.

[Bill Simmons]

Sir. Traders All Star Edition.

[Chris Ryan]

Is that what you think?

[Bill Simmons]

Me and Rachel. No, the one I couldn't do a Survivor. Who. That's the one I've always wanted to do. But the contact lenses, you're just. It's a deal breaker.

[Dan Campbell]

No. Food is increasingly an issue too. I feel like just like it's been four days since I've had one bite of food. That's not. I like, I don't. I can't do that these days.

[Bill Simmons]

I've said this before, but my dream in life was Would has always been for my wife to be on Survivor because after if she doesn't eat for about 10 hours, she turns into Hannibal Lecter and it would just. And she would win. They'd be trying to vote her off, but she would keep winning the challenges. They like, we can't rid of car. Then she'd be like, just like the most menacing person.

[Chris Ryan]

Carrie won a reward, like to go to like the Outback Steakhouse Hut.

[Bill Simmons]

She was like by herself.

[Chris Ryan]

None of you were coming.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm eating all the steak. Cruz or Hanks?

[Dan Campbell]

Cruz. Cruz.

[Bill Simmons]

Cruz. Easy win.

[Chris Ryan]

If you could put another Bond actor in GoldenEye, who would you want?

[Dan Campbell]

Another Bond actor?

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, like if you could have Conrie, Dalton, Lazenby Moore or Craig in GoldenEye. Because I think GoldenEye. I was gonna save this for. For prestige TV.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

I think it's got remake potential.

[Dan Campbell]

Oh, interesting.

[Chris Ryan]

I think that during the hacking stuff you could have like some AI stuff. You have the EMP pulse thing. Satellite.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah. I mean, we briefly mentioned it, but also just Russia being the, you know, the. The villain.

[Chris Ryan]

And also the Travathian thing I think would be really cool for them to explore.

[Dan Campbell]

That's interesting.

[Bill Simmons]

We need to get one of the inner Internet weirdos to figure out the cruiser hack standings.

[Craig]

I can do it.

[Bill Simmons]

No, we should get it. Isn't there like a rewatchables Reddit? Can't one of those people do it? I'll give them a shout out.

[Craig]

Maybe they will now, but I have them all logged. Just gotta add them up.

[Bill Simmons]

Who's winning, you think Cruz?

[Chris Ryan]

I bet Cruz.

[Craig]

Yeah, Cruz is up like five or six last time I checked.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, really?

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Dan Campbell]

You know what that means?

[Bill Simmons]

Gonna have to start rigging it a little bit or we need another Cruz on the top.

[Dan Campbell]

That's why we should go on traders. Cause my response was gonna be that means I won the argument. And that means to you you need to start cheating.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

It would be cool if like first one to 100 or whatever we're going for and then it's like the reward is Cruz or Hanks is on the pod.

[Dan Campbell]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

Cruz doing rewatchables would probably break all of our brains.

[Dan Campbell]

You know that Hanks can hang with you. He was so good.

[Bill Simmons]

We're about to have the new studio that will be able. We'll be able to do four.

[Chris Ryan]

You think that's what Cruise is waiting for?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, Well, I would never. If we had Cruise, I would never want to. We'd be like, oh, I can only have Chris or Sean. We can Only do three. Like we'd go four for Cruise. Cruz and I don't think any of us would talk the whole time. I think he would have so much energy.

[Chris Ryan]

Would you make me do Wayne Jenkins in front of Cruz? Hey man, that's a really good impression. Great job.

[Bill Simmons]

I'd probably make you do somebody from one of his movies. Like Rod Tidwell.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh God.

[Dan Campbell]

As many black characters as you can do, you should do in front of Tom Cruise.

[Chris Ryan]

Do Ving Rhames From Mission Impossible 3.

[Bill Simmons]

Best Hang, Worst hang. Do you have either for this movie?

[Chris Ryan]

I have best hang Money Penny. She had obviously just a great call. Great hang and then worst hang. Boris.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Probably reeks of cigarettes.

[Dan Campbell]

I can't do better than that.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

They've never really figured out the kind of semi evil computer hackers and movies. They always have to like have these crazy personalities do a lot of typing and play with pens they don't really know.

[Chris Ryan]

Not a good movie. But Oliphant in Live Free Die Hard is probably the coolest hacker.

[Bill Simmons]

Hacker.

[Dan Campbell]

It's a good one. I enjoy Fisher Stevens in the movie Hackers. Yeah, he's pretty good in that.

[Bill Simmons]

I've been scouting rewatchables movies including gone in 60 seconds, which I watched recently, which is tremendous.

[Chris Ryan]

Dude, it's awesome.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know what all Ola fans in a completely different movie than everyone else in the movie. I don't know what he's doing, which.

[Chris Ryan]

Is crazy to say if you're in a different movie than Nick Cage already.

[Bill Simmons]

Is all the way over here. Like filming a pilot for FX with his character.

[Dan Campbell]

It's a pretty sick era for him too. Like that's right after Go.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, yeah, we'll be doing that. Picking nets mentioned already. Not sure how James gets away from 100 Russian soldiers in the first scene from close quarters. It's basically like a room like this and they all have machine guns. He gets out Natalia. Same thing with the explosion. The tank. I don't know. Can tanks do that? I'm gonna guess no, I don't think so.

[Chris Ryan]

Also like the. I know like slow is smooth and smooth is fast, but James Bond gets out of that tank very slowly as the train is approaching. It's kind of like up here and now I'm off the tracks and.

[Dan Campbell]

You ever been in a tank?

[Chris Ryan]

You know what? I think I might have in like a World War II museum or something.

[Dan Campbell]

Was it in Berlin?

[Chris Ryan]

No, I don't remember where it was, honestly. It might have been in Croatia. I might have Been a tank.

[Dan Campbell]

Interesting.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, just keep it moving.

[Bill Simmons]

I have Sean Bean. Sean Bean falling to his death, like 100ft. Not dying instantly.

[Chris Ryan]

Not exactly exploding.

[Bill Simmons]

Ow. It's like. Like he's just dead. That being said, you hit the ground, you're dead.

[Chris Ryan]

I love of long fall. Paralyzed, and then something falls on.

[Dan Campbell]

I thought it was kind of funny that they purposefully were like, he survived. Whoops.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, he's not surviving that. Any else?

[Chris Ryan]

Bond and Natalia in the plane over the fake lake where the dishes. They get hit by a missile and crash land into the jungle. And they are just, like, beautifully knocked out for five minutes. Not eviscerated.

[Dan Campbell]

Well, I. Some questions about that missile. Like, the missile basically acts as though it were like a boomerang. Like, it just, like, hits it and the plane catches on fire. It's like. It's a missile. It's supposed to explode and blow the plane up. Yeah. Anything else? It's kind of a weak missile. I already mentioned. Just them not shooting Sean Bean and Sean Bean not shooting Bond in the face when Grushenko is hacking Natalia's code is insane.

[Bill Simmons]

Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Fergie, the Florist, Doris Burke, or somebody else here?

[Chris Ryan]

I'm working something out here. I'm thinking about bringing Zane Lowe into.

[Bill Simmons]

The rotation for Bond.

[Chris Ryan]

We've been scouting him for a while. Scouting him ever since his Harry Styles interview. And just imagining him being like, james, you're back. And we couldn't even call it espionage, because it's a journey. It's a journey about who you want to be as a spy. Goldeneye looking down on us, but we're looking over at you. What do you have for us next in this great piece of art that we call spying? I don't know if it's good yet. We're just.

[Dan Campbell]

We're. We're.

[Craig]

That was out of control.

[Dan Campbell]

I love that.

[Bill Simmons]

I love that.

[Chris Ryan]

That was elite. I also love that when he's interviewing people, he's just like, sean, who you are, who you've become, but where you come from. Talk about it. I fucked the mic.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Dan Campbell]

Don't ever look me in the eye like that again, please. That's probably why he gets such good stuff.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, he's just, Zayd's my friend, which made me love that more. Juliet.

[Chris Ryan]

And I still can't wait to send that. I still have an MP3 on my phone that Juliet recorded.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Of when hello by Adele came out. And he just goes the rattan of the artist.

[Dan Campbell]

That was incredible. That was In Grantland days. I remember that well. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

That was my number one moment of all time. Of. I wish CR was here since I've known CR since 2010. Zayn rented a house in Malibu for one week, and it was the house that was Neil's house in heat. And I walked in and I'm like, what's going on with this hat? Like, I just. Did it have furniture? No. Yeah, it had furniture.

[Chris Ryan]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

But it was Zane Low, who you would have loved. But then we were in the Neil. Neil house and I was like, if CR Was here, I feel like he would have a stroke.

[Dan Campbell]

I. I'm recovering from Zane Low.

[Bill Simmons]

That was great. Good addition. Fergie, the florist and Zane Low.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

People said you couldn't top Wayne Jenkins.

[Chris Ryan]

Slowly moving you guys in. It's gonna. It's gonna revitalize this pod.

[Bill Simmons]

Just one Oscar. Who gets it?

[Dan Campbell]

I don't know.

[Chris Ryan]

Martin Campbell.

[Bill Simmons]

Martin Campbell, sure.

[Chris Ryan]

Best director, I think edit, special effects.

[Dan Campbell]

The stunt guy who did the bungee jump.

[Bill Simmons]

Stunt guy.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Probably unanswerable questions. I have two, but if you guys have any, come on in.

[Chris Ryan]

How does James Bond break up with women in between movies? You know, you get to the end. Natalia, him, like, they've gone through several globe trotting adventures together.

[Bill Simmons]

I think he gets bored after a couple months. Right.

[Craig]

I don't think he breaks up with them. He definitely ghosts them. He's kind of stops responding.

[Chris Ryan]

It's like, oh, yeah. It's like, sorry, babe, it's espionage.

[Dan Campbell]

This one did have me thinking of James Bond as gay though.

[Craig]

For real.

[Dan Campbell]

Because, like, he won't commit. He's got incredible chemistry with all these guys. Jack Wade shows up and they're like bosom buddies right away. Obviously. He and Sean Bean, they spend a lot of time together. Right.

[Bill Simmons]

What was the Daniel Craig one where they were like, there's some subtext in this entire movie.

[Craig]

It's Bardem.

[Chris Ryan]

It's Scott.

[Dan Campbell]

Yes, Bardem is playing that very.

[Chris Ryan]

They're basically, he's like, opening shirt and he's just like, let's go.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Dan Campbell]

You know, kind of the origins of that a little bit. But why can't you just get. Lock it down, you know, commit.

[Bill Simmons]

I have two. Could you actually kill somebody by squeezing your legs around them? If you're a 6 foot Dutch model.

[Chris Ryan]

Slash Russian, I'd like to find out.

[Bill Simmons]

Just trying to think, like, how would this really go? How strong would you like to find out?

[Chris Ryan]

I don't think I would enjoy that.

[Bill Simmons]

So your ribs would have to Cave.

[Dan Campbell]

Squeezed in that way.

[Chris Ryan]

Even if, like, the prospect of having sex.

[Bill Simmons]

Actually, we have. What am I doing? We have Craig here. This is why you're here. This is. You've definitely thought about this.

[Craig]

Sure.

[Bill Simmons]

Crush the ribs in.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

You'd have to, like, split a kidney or a liver at that point. One of the ribs would have to split something.

[Craig]

Probably internal bleeding from the. All the broken.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, I thought it was just, like, suffocating them.

[Craig]

No, I think it's broken ribs.

[Bill Simmons]

Broken ribs splicing an organ, I think.

[Dan Campbell]

Would you like how she sat on your face?

[Bill Simmons]

Here's my other one. Joe Don Baker. So if he's just Joe Baker.

[Dan Campbell]

Huh?

[Bill Simmons]

It's fine. Joe Don Baker now becomes, like, one of the coolest names you could have in a movie. So why don't other people just put, like, could Chris be Chris Don Ryan?

[Dan Campbell]

Some of your best work.

[Bill Simmons]

Craig Don Horbeck. I could be Bill Don Simmons.

[Dan Campbell]

I'm ecstatic right now.

[Chris Ryan]

Sean Dalton fantasy and Chris Don Ryan.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Kristan Ryan's here. It's just for something about the Don. Just makes it really nice.

[Dan Campbell]

I think I will legally change my name now. That is undeniable.

[Chris Ryan]

I would. I would have a kid just to name him, like, cd Chris Don.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And did his parents. Was he Joseph Donald Baker?

[Chris Ryan]

I'm sure.

[Bill Simmons]

And he just became Joe Don, or were his parents, like, you're Joe Don Baker?

[Dan Campbell]

I don't know, but I.

[Chris Ryan]

Let's find out.

[Dan Campbell]

It seems possible that there's a SAG card issue there where there was already a Joe Baker inside.

[Craig]

Wikipedia just has him as Joe Don Baker, banker.

[Dan Campbell]

That's it. That's just his whole name.

[Bill Simmons]

It was like a Southern. Like, this is just your name. Billy Joe Joe Don.

[Chris Ryan]

That's it. Grossbeck, Texas.

[Bill Simmons]

Kristan Ryan.

[Craig]

His mother's name was Edna McDonald, so perhaps dawn from there.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Campbell]

Could see that.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Joe Don Baker. What a name. It's like. Because the other one, who is kind of like the discount Joe Don Baker was Wings Hauser.

[Dan Campbell]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

And Wings Houser, another great name. Yeah.

[Dan Campbell]

Was that his. His real first name?

[Bill Simmons]

Does it matter?

[Dan Campbell]

No. Wings Hauser was Elite Winks Hauser.

[Bill Simmons]

Cole Hauser's dad. Yeah.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah. Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

Yes.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

I guess I never thought about it.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

God damn.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

That's Rip's dad.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

God damn it.

[Dan Campbell]

What's going on with Cole Hauser's character in that world?

[Chris Ryan]

He is on the. Not the Madison, which is the Michelle Pfeiffer Kurt Russell spin off.

[Dan Campbell]

Okay.

[Chris Ryan]

It's another spin Off.

[Bill Simmons]

He's not on Madison?

[Chris Ryan]

No, I don't think so.

[Dan Campbell]

Did the Madison start yet?

[Chris Ryan]

No, it starts in March.

[Dan Campbell]

Okay.

[Chris Ryan]

But it's supposed to be like, kind of like a romance.

[Bill Simmons]

Like a get ready for some sad staring out into the sun, sunset and some fly fishing. Feels like. I. I'm excited.

[Dan Campbell]

How do you feel about your. Never was Michelle Pfeiffer getting involved in the Sheridan verse.

[Bill Simmons]

It's. It was time. When she made that weird Amazon movie. I was like, we need Sheridan.

[Chris Ryan]

It's always strange when somebody's not on stuff for a while and then they have two shows at the same time.

[Dan Campbell]

Time.

[Chris Ryan]

So she's going to have an Apple show and a Paramount show at the same time?

[Dan Campbell]

Pretty much.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, my dad was upset about Landman.

[Dan Campbell]

Why?

[Bill Simmons]

He thought it was a four episode stretched into ten once. Once shared in a really double down. I agree with your father, by the way. Sheridan. Some of the stuff that came out. Sheridan's like, yeah, we're. We're taking the. We're taking corners back next season.

[Chris Ryan]

So what do you expect?

[Dan Campbell]

From whom?

[Bill Simmons]

I've read her article call.

[Craig]

Oh.

[Chris Ryan]

And he was like, I see you guys out here.

[Bill Simmons]

He's getting more involved than season three. Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Did he write every episode?

[Bill Simmons]

Did he.

[Chris Ryan]

Did he, wow, Bill's breaking news.

[Dan Campbell]

But doesn't he.

[Bill Simmons]

Did he write season three or season two?

[Dan Campbell]

But doesn't he like, control the entire, like that whole world?

[Bill Simmons]

Does he. Who does six shows at the same time?

[Craig]

I.

[Dan Campbell]

Who are you defending?

[Chris Ryan]

Taylor Sheridan.

[Bill Simmons]

I think Terrell Sheridan's taking back his quarters next year. I think they know that was a week weak season two.

[Dan Campbell]

Okay.

[Chris Ryan]

Okay. I think that the, the other side of that argument is that it, it might be a little bit of a Twilight for those shows because he's going to Universal in a couple years and he's not going to be wasting good ideas and good energy on them.

[Dan Campbell]

I've seen more.

[Bill Simmons]

He's more of a professional than that.

[Chris Ryan]

Okay, great.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Dan Campbell]

You think he will not mail it in?

[Bill Simmons]

No, no.

[Chris Ryan]

Good.

[Bill Simmons]

Plus, he's on the limitless drug. He can't mail it in. He's just creating left and right number 16.

[Dan Campbell]

Do you think he uses ChatGPT?

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know. I would. That feels like a negative thing to say, like. Yes, I do. My question is, do all screenwriters kind of dabble?

[Chris Ryan]

It's a tool.

[Bill Simmons]

Do screenwriters dabble in it?

[Chris Ryan]

I'm not going to tell Shakespeare he can't use a typewriter.

[Dan Campbell]

This is great because you were like, there's way too much workplace sexual harassment stuff in goldeneye. But I will not speak on whether or not Taylor Sheridan uses chat.

[Bill Simmons]

I just don't know. Know the process of screenwriting and, like, whether that stuff is helpful or messes you up.

[Dan Campbell]

I think people say that it is helpful. He's cranking out a lot of material.

[Chris Ryan]

It's true.

[Bill Simmons]

That's why I said the limitless drug.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

What piece of memorability would you want from this movie? Cr.

[Chris Ryan]

I would like a. A functional mint condition Nintendo 64 and a mint condition version of Goldeneye 07.

[Dan Campbell]

Incredible.

[Bill Simmons]

And I would love to be like.

[Chris Ryan]

My wife took away for.

[Craig]

I still have my.

[Chris Ryan]

Can I come back?

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Okay.

[Dan Campbell]

You want to go back to being an unmarried layabout in a New York.

[Chris Ryan]

City apartment listening to the Iron Flag?

[Bill Simmons]

I didn't have an answer for this. I don't know if I'd want any memorabilia from this.

[Dan Campbell]

Aston Martin's pretty cool, but that's weird.

[Bill Simmons]

Cards are eligible.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Craig]

The pen.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, the pen's good.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Coach Finack, Mr. Miyagi Award for best life lesson. I will either offer you half of Everything is luck. James thought that was solid. Governments change, the lies stay the same.

[Chris Ryan]

There you go.

[Bill Simmons]

Bingo.

[Dan Campbell]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

Bingo.

[Dan Campbell]

What's age the best.

[Bill Simmons]

Best double feature choice.

[Dan Campbell]

Oh, I had a couple. I did include Moonraker because I think, like, Bond, stretching for the limits is the theme of this movie. I also had Lawnmower man for an early look at Pierce Brosnan. That also includes kind of hacking virtual worlds, kind of. Not that movie's not really thought of as a Pierce Brosnan movie, but it is.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, we're trying to do Netflix movies that they have to try to team them up with rewatchables and Moonraker. I wouldn't do it, like, in the next two months, but Moonraker is one.

[Chris Ryan]

That I would be a really funny dead week. This is just.

[Bill Simmons]

That movie's hilarious. I can't believe that movie happened.

[Dan Campbell]

It's really funny.

[Bill Simmons]

You mentioned in a previous episode about this, like, overreaction to Star wars where people kind of lost their minds for two years, and that's how Moonraker. They basically did James Bond in outer space. It's fucking nuts. I can't believe it happened.

[Dan Campbell]

It's entertaining, though.

[Bill Simmons]

It is entertaining. It's good, but it's also crazy and stupid.

[Chris Ryan]

What if we just did fucking Bond movies for, like, the rest of the year? I don't know.

[Bill Simmons]

We definitely could have done a month. Yeah, we could have if we. If I Did this over again. I might even think, like, we could have done Goldfinger. We could have won from each era.

[Dan Campbell]

But I think that's the best way to do it. I think once you start getting into like the third Roger Moore movie, it's very redundant. Like, it gets very same.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Roger Moore, TV actor.

[Dan Campbell]

Wow. Shots fired.

[Bill Simmons]

He has not held up, I don't think, as well as some of the other Bonds.

[Dan Campbell]

That's the famous Sean Penn diss on Michael J. Fox. You know that story when he's about to do that scene, specialty war, and he gets up right next to his ear and he goes, TV actor. And then he walks away from it.

[Chris Ryan]

There's only one hand.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm trying to do Michael J. Fox. I can't do it. Not bad. Who won the movie?

[Chris Ryan]

Pierce Brosnan.

[Dan Campbell]

Agreed.

[Bill Simmons]

I think so too. I think you could argue the Bond franchise because it re reinvigorated too.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah, I could see that.

[Bill Simmons]

All right. Craig goldeneye had never seen it.

[Craig]

I have only seen the Daniel Craig Bond movies. Really like those. I thought this was better and worse than I expected.

[Dan Campbell]

How so?

[Craig]

It was worse in that.

[Dan Campbell]

It was.

[Craig]

Odd going from seeing the Austin Powers movies, which they are parodying. It was weird going from the parody to what they were parodying in order of watching.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Craig]

So it was kind of odd how silly and whimsical this movie was. I kind of was too colored by the Daniel Craig Bonds, which are way darker and more serious. Didn't really realize Bond was so whimsical. Like when they're down with Q and the guy's in the phone booth and the airbag goes off and he's stuck the guy in the background, things like that. It was just way sillier. And seeing Austin Powers do it, I don't know if it kind of hurt or affected the way I interpreted this movie. And yet just so fun. Old school movie escapism. This is what you go to the movies for. Hot people, sprawling, Going to countries, fancy cities. You're in casinos. It's super fun. I thought the first 12 minutes. I watched the first 12 minutes the Tina Turner song plays. I paused it. I went into the other. I went into the bedroom. I was like, liz, you gotta watch this movie with me. I think you'll like it. She came out, I restarted it. We rewatched the first 12 minutes and then we watched the movie. And it's super fun. But yeah, it's weird, the Austin Powers stuff. You're like, oh, this is.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

To go back, it must be hard yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

One other thing with Bond movies, great date movie.

[Craig]

Yeah. They're so fun.

[Bill Simmons]

Like an old school. I don't know if you. Bourne Identity is as much of like a date movie is.

[Dan Campbell]

Well, that's more of a solo excursion for you.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Dan Campbell]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

That's playing goldeneye by myself.

[Dan Campbell]

Your pants. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

That's it for the Golden Eye rewatchables.

[Chris Ryan]

Thanks for having us.

[Bill Simmons]

Cr. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Craig and G. Thank you. And we'll be back next week.