‘Just One of the Guys’ With Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt, and Joanna Robinson

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Rewatchables – ‘Just One of the Guys’ (Jan 20, 2026)

Host: Bill Simmons
Guests: Kyle Brandt, Joe House, Craig (occasional producer input)
Film: Just One of the Guys (1985)

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Main Theme & Purpose

This Rewatchables episode dives deep into the 1985 teen comedy Just One of the Guys, a cult classic about high school, gender-bending, and 1980s pop culture, exploring its charm, memorable moments, social context, and surprising layers. The roundtable discusses the movie’s legacy, its place in the pantheon of '80s high school films, rapid-fire comedic performances, and controversial humor, as well as what would and wouldn’t work if it were made today.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Nostalgia & Movie Context

• The panel places Just One of the Guys among the quintessential and cult '80s teen films, explaining its enduring "rewatchablility."
• Just One of the Guys is categorized by Simmons as part of the "spirit of the '80s" group of movies that wouldn’t make sense before or after that decade.
  • “There’s a spirit to them that I like… They don’t take themselves too seriously. You know you’re going to end up with the people you want in the end, and it’s just going to be ridiculous the entire time.” — Bill Simmons [07:23]

2. Iconic ('Infamous') Scene - The Big Reveal

• Discussion of the movie’s standout nudity moment—simultaneously a badge of honor for its teenage audience and a point of debate about objectification, agency, and coming-of-age memories.
  • “I honestly think that might have been the first naked breasts I ever saw in my life. It was so shocking that that happened. It was a real turning point for me as a kid.” — Kyle Brandt [09:11]
• The panel notes the moment’s huge impact on young male viewers in the pre-Internet age, with House adding: “Those movies exist for all of us.”

3. Identity, Gender, and Social Commentary

• They address the retrospective importance of the film for LGBTQ+ and feminist audiences, citing director Lisa Gottlieb’s intent and audience feedback.
  • “You don’t appreciate how much this film means to many generations of young people, male and female…” — Bill Simmons paraphrasing Lisa Gottlieb [07:55]
• But they also openly recognize the movie's predominantly straight-male, freeze-framed legacy.

4. Joyce Hyser’s Performance & Hollywood ‘What-Ifs’

• Mixed takes on lead Joyce Hyser’s acting:
  • “I think she’s genuinely good in this movie.” — Bill Simmons [12:03]
  • “There’s a part really early on where (she) forgets her line and they kept it in. It’s not great.” — Kyle Brandt [12:09]
• Deep research into her personal life and career, including relationships with Bruce Springsteen, Warren Beatty, and a near-miss casting as The Sopranos’ Dr. Melfi.
  • “My biggest career disappointment was The Sopranos. I tested for Dr. Melfi. It was between me and Lorraine Bracco.” — Hyser, via Bill Simmons [20:29]

5. Billy Jacoby as Buddy – The Show-Stealer

• Considered the “comedic genius” of the film, with Billy Jacoby’s horny, rapid-fire performance continuously praised.
  • “He is so fucking good. Every word, every scene.” — Kyle Brandt [13:40]
  • “He’s just ripping them off… Like, you can’t—he’s just ripping them off.” — Bill Simmons [17:25]
• Ample discussion about why Jacoby didn’t have a bigger career, with career highlights and odd detours (including MILF Manor in 2023).

6. William Zabka and the ‘80s High School Bully Archetype

• Zabka’s multi-movie run as the classic ‘80s bully is explored, from Karate Kid to this film and Back to School.
  • “He did have the bigger mullet, this one. He’s lifting up tables. He is torturing nerds left and right.” — Bill Simmons [23:21]

7. 80s High School Movie Legacy & Comparisons

• Placing Just One of the Guys in the networks of Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Weird Science, etc., including a debate on the best and most influential high school films.
  • “Easy A is a good one… She’s the Man, which is the remake of this movie to a degree.” — Craig [26:45]
• Reflection on lost traditions (like endless parental absences), the appeal of high school settings, and music/poster iconography.

8. Production Nuggets & Behind-the-Scenes Lore

• The film’s low budget, Coca-Cola product placement, and wild casting anecdotes (including rumors of James Brown choreographing dance scenes, and famous visitors on set like Bruce Springsteen).
  • “James Brown showed up to do beach prom choreography for Just One of the Guys… Just don’t know if I believe it, but it’s so adamant that this happened.” — Bill Simmons [63:10]

9. Quotes, Lines & Scene Breakdown

• Large portions dedicated to best lines/scenes: Buddy’s advice about acting like a guy, the prom fight, the big reveal, etc.
• Notable quotes:
  • “Horny will kick embarrassment’s ass anytime.” — Buddy/Billy Jacoby [35:23]
  • “Where do you get off having tits?” — Rick (Clayton Rohner) [44:17]

10. What Wouldn’t Fly Today

• The group addresses elements that have not aged well, including casual sexism and trans jokes, body swap tropes, references to underage relationships, and now-inappropriate language.
  • “There’s some other… gender commentary stuff… as much as this is maybe, like, helped some people, there’s also just trans jokes that haven’t aged well, I’d say.” — Joe House [74:04]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• “It’s tough to stick the landing on a journalism movie based almost entirely on tits.” — Kyle Brandt [04:14]
• “For women, it was about bonding with their mothers or older sisters. For gay women and transgender women, it was about seeing a performance of female maleness that I had no idea existed.” — Bill Simmons, quoting Lisa Gottlieb [07:55]
• “I honestly think that it might have been the first naked breasts I ever saw in my life… It was so shocking that that happened.” — Kyle Brandt [09:11]
• “I have 14 year old Bill Murray in my office. We’re casting him.” — Bill Simmons, on Billy Jacoby [15:56]
• “She tested for Dr. Melfi. It was between me and Lorraine Bracco.” — Bill Simmons [20:29]
• “My winner for what’s most 1985 thing about this movie is every single Deborah Foreman outfit.” — Bill Simmons [51:47]
• “Horny will kick embarrassment’s ass anytime.” — Buddy (Billy Jacoby) [35:23]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [07:08 – 07:43]: Bill Simmons’ classification of 1980s movie subgenres and what makes this movie so ‘80s.
• [09:11]: Kyle Brandt describes the impact of the famous topless reveal on a generation of boys.
• [12:03 – 13:40]: Intensive discussion of Joyce Hyser’s performance and Billy Jacoby’s character as comedy MVP.
• [15:56 – 16:49]: Behind-the-scenes on Jacoby: “14-year-old Bill Murray” and the mystery of his post-movie career.
• [20:29]: Simmons drops the Dr. Melfi casting story.
• [23:09 – 23:54]: Zabka’s “bully trilogy” in 80s teen movies.
• [35:23]: “Horny will kick embarrassment’s ass anytime.” – iconic Buddy line and panel’s reactions.
• [44:17]: The infamous “Where do you get off having tits?” reveal.
• [51:47]: Bill Simmons on “the most 1985 thing” in the film: Deborah Foreman's outfits.

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Categories & Fun Bits

• Most Rewatchable Scene: Multiple, but among the favorites is Buddy teaching Terry to act like a guy, including “all balls itch. It’s a fact.” [36:19]
• What’s Aged the Worst: “Double-dating a sixth grader” and the ease of switching high schools with no consequences. [74:25, 98:53]
• Unanswerable Questions: How does Terry re-enroll at her old high school? Why don’t more people in the school know Buddy or Terry? [99:07]
• Best Hang/Worst Hang: Best hang = Terry; worst hang = her college boyfriend Kevin. [96:06]
• Memorabilia You’d Want: Bully gloves (Zabka’s “bullying gloves”) and Buddy’s tube socks. [107:33]
• Double Feature Suggestion: Soul Man (the ‘blackface’ Harvard comedy) and Camp Buy Me Love as pairings. [109:39]
• Who Won the Movie?: Consensus was Billy Jacoby, with honorary mention to Warren Beatty for dating Joyce Hyser. [115:27]

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Tone & Panel Dynamics

The episode is irreverent and nostalgic, with the hosts riffing on lines, trading '80s references, and bringing both deep pop culture knowledge and personal reminiscence. The conversation is fast-paced and self-aware, quick to note which humor has aged or not, and mixing genuine appreciation with mockery.

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Summary: Why the Movie Endures/Matters

Just One of the Guys is both an artifact of its time and a lightning rod for ‘80s nostalgia because it combines raunchy comedy with surprisingly progressive moments for the era. Its legendary reveal scene, over-the-top yet earnest performances, and place in the VHS/Comedy Central memories of Gen X anchor it as a repeated watch for some and a WTF curiosity for others. The panel’s deep-dive, loaded with trivia and candid perspective, makes a case for the film’s continued conversation—warts, laughs, and all.

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For full trivia, quotes, and sidebars—from Zabka’s gloves to Joyce Hyser’s star-crossed romances—listen to the full episode or check episode notes on The Ringer.

Transcript

[Bill Simmons]

This episode is brought to you by Dead Man's Wire, the new film from RO K Entertainment. We love all kinds of movies here on the Rewatchables, but sometimes the true stories can be the most thrilling. Like Zodiac, a movie that we did a long time ago that I wasn't on. And I want to be on that podcast again, but a classic just diving into something that. Wait, did this happen? How much of this is true? You're immersed because it's believable. The whole thing. Well, Dead Man's Wire, the incredible true story of the 1977 kidnapping that turned an aspiring entrepreneur into an outlaw folk hero. Directed by legendary filmmaker Gus Van Sant, who has been on this podcast multiple times for his movies. Starring Bill Skarsgrd, Dacre Montgomery, Cary Elwes. In My halla with Colman Domingo and Al Pacino. I've heard of him. Now playing in select theaters everywhere. January 16th. This episode is brought to you by Slack. You know that coworker who's always prepared, always helpful, and somehow never needs a recap meeting? That is Slackbot. Slackbot is an AI assistant built directly into Slack, so it already understands your projects, your files, your conversations from day one. You don't teach it anything. You just talk to it like a teammate. No setup, no extra tools, Just an always on, always there for you. AI assistant ready to help. Learn [e-mail] meet Slack slackbot. The rewatchables is brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network. That's Joanna Robinson. You can find her on House of R, the Ringer podcast network.

[Joe House]

True.

[Bill Simmons]

There's a lot of R stuff happening these days.

[Joe House]

You mean Thrones? Thrones is back.

[Bill Simmons]

Dragon something.

[Joe House]

Not just playing in your sauna anymore. Also now on HBO.

[Bill Simmons]

Are we in the 1200s? What century are we in?

[Joe House]

That's a great question. It's a great question.

[Bill Simmons]

Kyle Brandt.

[Kyle Brandt]

Hey, bud.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know how many rewatchables for you now. Are we over 20?

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah, I think so.

[Joe House]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

Only the second we've ever done in person. Yes, the first we've ever done in a three person group.

[Kyle Brandt]

Absolutely.

[Joe House]

Are there jackets if you go over 20?

[Kyle Brandt]

Three timers?

[Joe House]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

The 20 timers.

[Joe House]

The 20 timers club.

[Bill Simmons]

That's a great idea. We should mention your shirt. Do you want to talk about the shirt really quick?

[Kyle Brandt]

This is our friends at Kuroko who make our favorite movies, I think. How many rewatchables I've done, Bill? Like 80% of them are made by these people, including a little film called over the Top. It's an arm wrestling movie based on truck drivers. And we did it on the show. And so I have the shirt, and I brought a housewarming gift for Bill. I've never been here before, but I brought you a cart.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. We became fascinated by this production company which seemed like a combination money laundering.

[Joe House]

It's very true.

[Bill Simmons]

The Middle east is involved. And they went under. There was a documentary about them, and it's. They really were spirit animals.

[Joe House]

Why aren't you wearing the shirts, you guys?

[Bill Simmons]

Well, because he's wearing it.

[Joe House]

Okay.

[Kyle Brandt]

And you know what? They make really good movies. I don't know about the business. They make damn good movies, though.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, we wanted to do something really good, especially with Netflix coming up.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

You and I have been circling this one for years. I asked Joanna for a list. It's like, you know, you're gonna be in town more. Give me your top 10.

[Joe House]

Did I put this on my top 10 list?

[Bill Simmons]

Put it on the list.

[Joe House]

That sounds not true.

[Bill Simmons]

You did.

[Joe House]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

It's on there.

[Joe House]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

And then now we're all together. Just one of the guys is next. Just one of the guys. 1985.

[Joe House]

The Rewatchable everyone's been clamoring for. Right.

[Bill Simmons]

It was on HBO, I think, for 10 straight years after it came out. It's an unbelievable movie. It has become a beloved movie in my family for some reason. My kids love this movie. There's like five, six, eighties movies they absolutely love. This is one of them.

[Joe House]

What else is on the list?

[Bill Simmons]

You know, Breakfast Club, secret admirer, the Karate Kid, Can't Buy Me Love is probably number one.

[Kyle Brandt]

We walked into your house today. I just expected Limitless to be on. I was kind of disappointed it wasn't.

[Bill Simmons]

Might have watched some of it yesterday to get ready for the pot. This is a movie that probably would not be made in 2026, or if it was made, it would be a little different.

[Joe House]

A little different, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Why do we love this movie, Kyle Brandt?

[Kyle Brandt]

Well, it's tough to stick the landing on a journalism movie based almost entirely on tits. Very difficult to do. You just don't see them much. And, you know, as a fan of the show, Bill, I'm a huge rewatchables nerd. There's always a lot of talk about the Hang. What is the hang like? And as an adult watching this movie, the Hang is so fun because there's almost no adults. There's very few teachers. It's just young, pretty funny people running around, and all of them are just trying to get laid. There's such a sexual energy here. And the origin story for a lot of us for this movie goes back to a very special place. About two seconds of this movie. It's about 100 minutes long. There's two seconds that really, really resonate for me. And that's why it keeps me coming back.

[Bill Simmons]

And it was a shocking, shocking moment the first time you saw it. Cause it's a PG movie. It was a high school movie. They never did stuff like that. There's so many reasons I love it.

[Joe House]

That's not true. I. And there's surprise Tits all the time in 80s comedies. You're just watching something and all of a sudden there's like, there's booze.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. So. All right, let's talk this Going right.

[Kyle Brandt]

To the main event.

[Bill Simmons]

That's fine.

[Kyle Brandt]

What are we doing here?

[Craig]

We have the award. Jamie Lee Curtis. Trading Places.

[Bill Simmons]

Whoa.

[Joe House]

Trading Places. Exactly. What's this doing here?

[Bill Simmons]

No, but I'm talking like Breakfast Club.

[Joe House]

Sure.

[Bill Simmons]

Sixteen Candles.

[Joe House]

John Hughes didn't do it.

[Bill Simmons]

The John Hughes. Those ones didn't really do it. I guess when you moved into the Secret Admirer, they tried to do it camp. I mean, love didn't do it. So it would be like 5050 in this one. It just seemed like it's actually a plot device and leads to one of the funniest.

[Joe House]

Maybe.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, maybe we'll talk about some of the research with that leads to one of the funniest lines I think anyone said in one of these movies that was unintentionally funny. But it's just a movie that would not exist now.

[Joe House]

So we were talking about HBO before we started recording. We didn't have hbo. So I didn't watch this on hbo and I didn't watch this on vhs. I watched it on Comedy Central. Which means my cut had no tits in it.

[Kyle Brandt]

Oh. What?

[Joe House]

I didn't know until.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh. So it was like a quick cut just to his reaction, like.

[Joe House]

Yeah, his reaction shot.

[Kyle Brandt]

That's like Top Gun. But there's no planes for us. That was what we would tune in.

[Joe House]

For until we started researching this. I didn't know that this was like with Fast Times as like an all time or freeze frame 80s movie. I didn't know that. Love to know.

[Bill Simmons]

So I separated my 80s movies I love into five different groups. I'm just glad you're here.

[Kyle Brandt]

I like these groups. I got some groups. Go ahead.

[Bill Simmons]

Here's the great group. Breakfast Club, Fast Times, Risky Business. Like movies that kind of transcended where we were in the 80s.

[Kyle Brandt]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

The huge group. Sixteen Candles, Ferris Bueller, Karate Kid. Just big, big, big ass movies.

[Kyle Brandt]

Seminal. Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

That still have legs to this day. The Sports Vision Quest, all the Right Moves Lucas, where there's like some sort of sports angle. The horny Crazy Movies Class, Weird Science, Teen Wolf. Movies that are just like. There's probably cocaine involved when the script got approved. Teen Wolf is a movie that. I don't know how it got made.

[Kyle Brandt]

Same here. I put Revenge on the nerds in there, too, even though it's technically a college movie. Is that coming?

[Bill Simmons]

No. My last category is perfect.

[Kyle Brandt]

Perfect. Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

Secret Admirer, Can't Buy Me Love and Just One of the Guys, where it's just like, these are movies that just belong to the 80s.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

And that's it. I don't think they make sense. Even three years later, three years earlier. They have, like, a spirit to them that I like. They don't take themselves too seriously. You know, they're going to end up with the people you want to end up with in the end, and they're just going to be ridiculous the entire time. And I think those are the three out of everything. Maybe Weird Science maybe gets thrown in there too. I don't know.

[Kyle Brandt]

That's in the horny category.

[Joe House]

When we get to, like, picking nits and unanswerable questions, sure, they're endless for this movie. The premise is unbelievable. It doesn't matter. We're having a great time. It doesn't matter.

[Bill Simmons]

It doesn't matter. Well, Joyce Hyzer, there's this whole dialogue that came out of this movie that I wasn't aware of how important it was to, like, trans people to the gay community that I just. In the 80s, it was like, I just. I love the little brother. I think he's the funniest. He's basically Bill Murray. But then when they talk about it, like the director Lisa Gottlieb said, you don't appreciate how much this film means to many generations of young people, male and female. For women, it was about bonding with their mothers or older sisters. For gay women and transgender women, it was about seeing a performance of female maleness that I had no idea existed. But then it turns out we're the savior of this. Blah, blah, blah. Did you see any of this stuff happen out of this movie?

[Joe House]

In doing research for this, I've heard that that's the case, but I think more overwhelmingly it's guys being like, I rented this from the video stores for those two seconds that I can watch.

[Bill Simmons]

That's kind of how I feel. That was my takeaway, too. Maybe it could be everything at once.

[Kyle Brandt]

I respect so much what you said. I wish that I had been part of that. But I was 9. And at the end, just bam. I can't tell you when she. It's. I didn't even blink when Bruce Willis is a ghost compared to my feeling here. Not Kyle Soze, a zero. Terry ripping it off for Rick. I was like, what the hell? Just.

[Joe House]

I know in for Rick.

[Kyle Brandt]

Honestly, it's even bigger than you think. And I thought about this before this pod. And I'm sorry I'm being so pervy to Joe, but I honestly think that it might have been the first naked breasts I ever saw in my life. Because I was like, 8 years old. I don't think I had seen a playboy at 8. And we didn't have the HBO in my mom's house before my parents got divorced. I wasn't like. When it happened, I wasn't like, yeah, I was like, whoa. It's like I saw an alien. And so it's like that just set me off on a path. It wasn't just like a gratuitously horny moment. It was like a real turning point for me as a kid. It was so shocking that that happened. I'd never seen that before.

[Joe House]

I mean, that's just like. Those movies exist for all of us. And I think that that's not an unreasonable way to think about a movie. And I think that this movie in particular. What's so interesting, the fact that there's a female director in this movie. I was thinking about this, that Lisa Gottlieb directed this movie. Amy Heckerling directed Fast time. So the two freeze frame movies of the 80s were directed by women. Which I think is really interesting. But I love that Terry, when she's in the locker room, is sneaking peeks at all the dicks that are walking past her.

[Kyle Brandt]

She's not mean a little bit. She doesn't like others.

[Joe House]

Yeah, you get two towels. I'm looking at nothing.

[Kyle Brandt]

Two towel guy. By the way, this is based on William Shakespeare. There's a level of sophistication that is more than just boobs. There's something going on here.

[Joe House]

It's Twelfth Night.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, then there's some workplace stuff that makes sense in 85. And I'm not sure, you know, like, basically, no, you can't win this contest. You're a woman. But in 1985, it was actually like, oh, yeah, that would happen. And now you watch and you're like, ooh, that first of all, the teacher would get fired. The contest, somebody would protest.

[Joe House]

Like, I mean, the first teacher who's like, did you see her legs and her tits? You should keep her back. That should be her first expose at the Sun.

[Kyle Brandt]

That guy was suggesting they fail her.

[Joe House]

Yeah. Just to keep her.

[Kyle Brandt]

And then even the nice teacher's like, you know, you really shouldn't be saying that here. Like, say that afterward. Want to get some coffee?

[Joe House]

Careful where you say that, sir.

[Kyle Brandt]

What a moment.

[Bill Simmons]

And she. I mean, one of the cool things. First of all, I think Joey Sizer is great in this movie.

[Joe House]

She's phenomenal.

[Bill Simmons]

It's one of those performances where you're like, I don't know why there weren't like, five of these for her.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

What was missing? There's some interesting research out there.

[Joe House]

Yeah, I have some research on that. But I think this is one of the only woman dresses as man movies or TV shows that is like, I actually think she's convincing as Terry. Boy. Terry.

[Bill Simmons]

I would say they really want. Cause Karate Kid they were filming. I don't know if it was out yet. And they really wanted her to look like Ralph Macchio.

[Kyle Brandt]

So cool.

[Bill Simmons]

She looks like Ralph Macchio.

[Joe House]

Looks like Ralph Macchio. In my notes, before we got to the Karate Kid line that's in this movie. And. And before I saw that, they used him as the model for her.

[Bill Simmons]

I think she's genuinely good in this movie.

[Joe House]

I think she's great.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't really understand.

[Joe House]

You don't agree. Do you not agree?

[Kyle Brandt]

I have some thoughts on some other people who could have played the role. I do. There's a part really early on where she's arguing with the teacher. It's a rough scene. There's a part where I think she forgets her line and she stumbles and they just kept it in. It's not great.

[Joe House]

I actually think. I agree that it only gets really good once she starts doing the guy.

[Kyle Brandt]

We'Re talking about again. This is Shakespeare. This is the character Viola. It's been played by Judi Dench and Anne Hathaway and Eddie Redmayne and Joyce Heiser. And she's doing her damn best. Okay? To put it this way, she has a lot to offer that maybe they don't or maybe they do. But I think she's doing her best. She's doing her best. We'll put it that way.

[Joe House]

Kyle. Saying this is Viola is like, the highlight of my week. This is really good.

[Kyle Brandt]

I'm an English major. I don't get to throw it on the table much? I think she's all right.

[Bill Simmons]

All right, we're split on Joy Sizer, but we're not split on Billy Jacoby, who's one of the great comedic geniuses of the 80s.

[Kyle Brandt]

Let's go.

[Joe House]

You know what's so weird is I was like, okay, this guy has been in a million things. He's like a face of the 80s to me. And then I went and looked it up, and I was like, wait, no, he's in this. And Parker Lewis Can't Lose, which I also watched, but it was just based off of me rewatching this movie that I thought of him as like, he was in a million of these movies, but he wasn't. He's so good in this.

[Kyle Brandt]

He's fantastic. I would say maybe 10 or 12 Rewatchables episodes ago, probably two or three years in real time. We got on a sidetrack about this Bill, and you were like, I think he is the funniest person of the 80s. And I was like, crazy Bill being funny? I'm like, funnier than Eddie Murphy and Bill Murray. You're like, yes. And then I rewatch it, and I'm like, holy shit, he is so fucking good.

[Joe House]

He's so good.

[Kyle Brandt]

Every word, every scene. The character. We are introduced to this character. The first time you see him on screen. This kid is at breakfast having pizza, a Coke, and a sideways Playboy, getting in some smut before he even goes to school. Like, nobody looked at Playboy at breakfast. He did. And I'm like, this guy's a legend.

[Joe House]

Can I talk about that? Okay, first of all, the Playboy budget on this movie is incredible.

[Bill Simmons]

They're everywhere. Yeah, definitely a sponsor.

[Joe House]

But also, I didn't know this, that Coca Cola owned Columbia Pictures at the time when they made this movie. So that's why all the beer cans just say beer on them. Oh, interesting. But, like, there's Coca Cola cans.

[Kyle Brandt]

Thank God you're here, Joe.

[Bill Simmons]

Interesting.

[Joe House]

Well, you bring the Shakespeare, and I'll bring the product placement.

[Kyle Brandt]

I like it.

[Bill Simmons]

Me and my college roommate, Jack O, we used to watch this movie because it was on Comedy Central all the time. We'd always get mad that the edit. We were always like. We just couldn't believe this guy wasn't a bigger star. And my son, who's. Who loves this movie, and we watched it Tuesday night, and afterwards, he's like, dad, why wasn't that guy in more movies?

[Kyle Brandt]

Like, he wasn't, like, said it unprompted.

[Bill Simmons]

He wasn't asking. He wasn't Asking. Ironically, he was like, genuinely confused why he wasn't in. Because like, from the moment he comes in, he's throwing 105 miles an hour. Even like when he doesn't have lines.

[Kyle Brandt]

I know.

[Bill Simmons]

Like there's one like her, her friend that's sitting on her bed and he sits next to her and then he just like tries to make a pass at her and she hits her hand, but he's just like in heat. Almost like he. It's almost like watching a dog at a park trying to hump legs.

[Joe House]

He was 15, I think, when he made this movie.

[Kyle Brandt]

I mean, his first line, they're in the cafeteria. He comes in, he sits down and just goes, you are so hot. Like right in her ear. And then he keeps trying this move where he blows in her ear. He totally read about it in Penthouse forums or something crazy. He's every single second. And it's not like, I'll tell you this now. I struggled with the Dion waiters because he's definitely not in 25 shots. He's in a lot of scenes and he's awesome in every one of them. I have my favorite scene of his, but I love them all.

[Bill Simmons]

He. The director said she was talking about casting. Everybody was nuts about Joyce, nuts about Clayton. And then I cast Billy. He walked into my office, red, and I said, forget about it. I have 14 year old bill Murray in my office. We're casting him.

[Kyle Brandt]

That's a quote.

[Joe House]

I really agree.

[Bill Simmons]

It kind of is. 14 year old Bill Murray.

[Joe House]

Did you watch the 30th anniversary Q& A panel that they did? They did.

[Bill Simmons]

Was he there?

[Joe House]

Yeah, he was there. And he's just like that on the panel, like now, like 30 years after this movie.

[Bill Simmons]

So maybe he just couldn't shut it off.

[Joe House]

I'm saying, do you have a project for him?

[Kyle Brandt]

Oh, wow. Is he working? Is he out there? I don't have.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm going to go through his career here.

[Joe House]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

He changed his name to Billy Jane.

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Age 17, which I think was his real name. He's now William Jane. He did a lot of TV movie stuff. Recurring role apparently in Silver Spoon season four and five. I don't. Wasn't watching at that point. Parker Lewis, Can't Lose was his other big one.

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Stopped acting in 2010. Appeared in MILF Manor, a reality show on TLC. MILF Manor, 2023.

[Kyle Brandt]

23. That's just 20 minutes ago.

[Joe House]

That's tough.

[Bill Simmons]

That was the last time.

[Joe House]

MILF Manor being the last credit on tv.

[Bill Simmons]

It's a Reality series.

[Joe House]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

I gotta ask Craig. Even though Craig don't step on how you felt about this movie.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Do you think Billy Jacoby was 15 year old Bill Murray?

[Craig]

Respectfully, I don't think he quite got to Bill Murray level. I would say he's trying 100 miles an hour is correct. He. He's putting his whole energy into this role.

[Bill Simmons]

Craig's.

[Joe House]

Craig hated this movie.

[Kyle Brandt]

I like when Craig starts sentences with respectfully. Then we're going to have a long day.

[Craig]

He could talk about Joyce and say she's all right and that's fine.

[Kyle Brandt]

I know I'm trying to respect Joyce because I like her work, but I.

[Bill Simmons]

Bet I spell hey, yo, scumbag. Hey, suck your own. Eat me. Hey, same to you, butt face. Mom says hi.

[Joe House]

Mom says hi. Perfect.

[Bill Simmons]

You can't. He's just ripping them off.

[Joe House]

Linda, wait. I vacuumed. For God's sake, Linda.

[Kyle Brandt]

Oh, that one's good. Would it make any difference? Is that I was hung like a bear. It's fantastic.

[Bill Simmons]

He's ripping them off. It's just. Dude, when the heater. This.

[Kyle Brandt]

The scene where he explains how to scratch your balls.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

Is so funny and so accurate because he's like. He basically says, like, sometimes there's like a level one scratch and he's like, get in there, Move it around. That's what we do. That is so accurate. Sometimes you got to get some air in there. And it's like, I. I just love how committed he is to that scene.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

And like when you watch that scene, like, it's kind of meta, like you want to do it. You're sitting there watching. Like, he's so exactly spot on with it. I love that part.

[Bill Simmons]

Not to compare him to Chevy Chase and Fletch, but I'm going to compare him to Chevy Chase and Fly. Chevy Chase. The whole movie is just like, I'm going for this guy's back if you have to. Never breaking. But I'm just going to go for it every scene. And if I go too far, just kind of yank me back. And then we have young Billy Jacoby here just going for it and never, never even coming close in any capacity to this ever again, which I just don't understand.

[Joe House]

He talked about being on the set. He was 15 and his only chaperone on the set was his sister, who everyone said partied harder than he did.

[Bill Simmons]

So, like, there might be some party. Yeah, that's possible.

[Kyle Brandt]

I was gonna do, for my flips, though, the Sasha. I was gonna do Billy Heiser or Billy Jacoby for my flex. So maybe I'll just save it.

[Joe House]

Well, it was just like, what went wrong with this kid's career in the 80s isn't the answer usually.

[Bill Simmons]

It's right in the vortex of. I did an incredible Joyce Hyzer deep dive. I can't believe how much time I spent on it. Joe probably knows some of it. Cause Joe's a big researcher. But she dated Bruce Springsteen for almost five years.

[Kyle Brandt]

Okay, go on.

[Joe House]

It's why there are Bruce Springsteen posters in the bedroom in the movie.

[Bill Simmons]

He saw her at a party in LA in 1978 on his tour and asked Gary Busey to introduce them. And she was immediately in. And she traveled with him for the rest of the tour.

[Joe House]

Meet Cube.

[Bill Simmons]

Abusey setup.

[Kyle Brandt]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

And she dated him for five years.

[Joe House]

He visited the set of this movie.

[Bill Simmons]

And then he did. Well, they did. And Clayton Rohner said Bruce got a little jealous with the kissing scene. I'm not positive. He might have milked that story. She apparently dated David Geffen. Wasn't able to confirm that one, but that was in there. She was close with Jack Nicholson. Unclear if they dated. And then dated Warren Beatty and lived with him for a year and a half. I went in. Cause I have star. The Warren Beatty autobiography. She's interviewed like, she's in it a lot.

[Kyle Brandt]

I love you. Did the work and read that book.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, he was really smitten by her and really settled down and was trying to make her. And she knew what a dog he was.

[Joe House]

Springsteen, Nicholson, Beatty. Come on.

[Bill Simmons]

That's unbelievable.

[Kyle Brandt]

And Busey's name was mentioned too. Jesus.

[Bill Simmons]

She was Jimmy Smits girlfriend on LA Law for two years, which is a big show. She said, kyle, glad you're sitting down.

[Kyle Brandt]

Go on.

[Bill Simmons]

I tested for volunteers and lost to Rita Wilson. I turned down a role in Eddie and the Cruisers. But my biggest career disappointment was the Sopranos. I tested for Dr. Melfi. It was between me and Lorraine Bracco.

[Kyle Brandt]

No. Holy shit. In the research, she's sitting there with Tony talking about his mother and everything. Oh my God. I never knew. I never knew that.

[Bill Simmons]

Joyce Heiser as Lorraine Bracco. I mean, as Dr. Belfi. In place of really like it.

[Joe House]

I did. This isn't as juicy as the Sopranos.

[Kyle Brandt]

Incredible.

[Joe House]

But I did some detective work because she talked about a show that she turned down, but she wouldn't name the show. And she was like, it was a big one, but I turned it down because they like disrespected her in her audition or something like that. But then she's like. But later Martha Coolidge, who directed her in Valley Girl, brought me in for a cameo. Csi. Csi. I think she was offered like the Margaret Elgenberger role.

[Kyle Brandt]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

Wow, what a career.

[Kyle Brandt]

That's a lot of what ifs. Because Lorraine Bracco was apparently offered Carmella and she said, I've already played the gangster's wife when I was in Goodfellas. I don't want to be Carmella. I want this to shrink. So then that led to Edie Falco getting it. God damn, that would work.

[Joe House]

But if Lorraine had been Carmella and Joy, then who's Nurse Jackie? What happens to Edie Falco's career?

[Kyle Brandt]

That's true.

[Joe House]

Dominoes upon Domino's.

[Bill Simmons]

She stays on Oz. She just stays on Oz for like.

[Kyle Brandt]

Imagine if Dr. Melfi came into a session with Tony Soprano when he just dressed as a guy.

[Craig]

She's all of a sudden like, so.

[Kyle Brandt]

Tell me about your mother, Tony. Hey, yo.

[Bill Simmons]

She.

[Joe House]

So you do think Joyce is really good. I can tell.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, she's coming around.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah, I like her.

[Bill Simmons]

I. She was one of my 175 crushes in the 80s and apparently was more of a smoke show in real life because Springsteen in 1978 and then Warren Beatty, she just must have been absolutely stretching in person. She's my guess.

[Joe House]

What a charming word.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, what a combo. Like, who else in the world could have dated those two?

[Joe House]

She was a trained dancer growing up, so.

[Kyle Brandt]

Really?

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

Well, I mean, my. The odds are that Beatty saw this film was like. I don't know about the movie, but like, who is that the way that they start this movie? Think about the opening shot of the movie. She's incredible. Incredible figure.

[Joe House]

I love that Kyle's premise here requires that Warren Beatty went to the theater to see just one of the guys by himself. Million dollars total. And one of those was Warren beat Warren Beatty.

[Bill Simmons]

She was also the star of Dan Hartman's video for I Can Dream about you, which is a pretty big.

[Kyle Brandt]

Oh, was that the acting dream? How that song goes? I like that.

[Bill Simmons]

We're not done with setting up the movie because we didn't talk about the Zabka bully trilogy yet.

[Kyle Brandt]

Talk about it. Come on, Bill.

[Bill Simmons]

Karate Kid this right into Back to School, which he really lost his bully energy. And Back to School got. Yeah, like Keith Gordon beats him up and back to school and then he.

[Kyle Brandt]

You melon.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, he flubs the big dive. Like. But he did have the bigger mullet, this one.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah, he's.

[Bill Simmons]

He's lifting up tables. He is torturing nerds. Left and right.

[Kyle Brandt]

And don't you think if you were. If you were Mr. Zabka's representation back then, Karate Kid is a massive hit. You're a big part of it.

[Bill Simmons]

You're zagging.

[Kyle Brandt]

Well, you take one role, it's Greg Tolan. It's like the next year, that's the next movie he does is this movie after Karate Kid. And then when the role comes in for Back to School, don't you want to say, no, no, no, no.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, Billy, Billy, let me be the Robert Downey part.

[Kyle Brandt]

I'll be anything. Or, like I'm saying, in this movie, his first movie after Karate Kid, he's fighting someone on the beach, just like he does in Karate Kid. It's like, I'm ready for Kevin to do the crane kick. Like it's ridiculous, and he should drop the radio. And Elizabeth Shue, it's so similar. And I wish I could reach in there and be like, billy, pick something else.

[Joe House]

He was talking about how playing a bully, he's like, you're just waiting for my characters to go inside a punch bowl. That's all you want, is for my character to meet the punch bowl at some point in all of his movies.

[Bill Simmons]

Why did high school seem so perfect as a movie and TV location in the mid-80s? What was it about? Whatever was going on, it was so.

[Joe House]

New because we didn't do. They didn't do it in the 70s. And so then it was like, guess what? Teens have sex. Teens, like, do drugs. And it's not like in the forbidden Brooke Shields kind of way. It's just, like, normalized, right? You come home after school, you have a beer, a generic beer, I guess, with your pal. And so then, I think it was just so new and exciting. And then by the time you get to the 90s, can't hardly wait happens. It's great, but it's a little bit more expected. But the 80s, it just felt like with Porky's and Revenge of the Nerds, we're really pushing the envelope.

[Kyle Brandt]

Just. The music was so perfect for high school kids. Now, they don't play a lot of music in this movie, but all of the posters are represented. There's all the. You mentioned the Bruce Springsteen. And there's a U2 poster in Buddy's room. Like, it was great, great high school music. Shit, then. And John Hughes ran with it, too.

[Bill Simmons]

He had one YouTube poster and 700 pulled out.

[Kyle Brandt]

There's the edge. Just staring next to Brandy's, you know, on the beach. Credible.

[Bill Simmons]

I didn't Know one person who ever would have done that in the 80s with their room?

[Kyle Brandt]

Outlandish.

[Bill Simmons]

That was what was so funny about it, though.

[Joe House]

The parents are mysteriously out of town for two weeks.

[Bill Simmons]

That would be. It's insane behavior.

[Kyle Brandt]

Wallpaper. No one did that. You don't put those posters up on the wall. You put like a spud web poster or something.

[Joe House]

Be respectful. Don't say those posters. She reads Vonnegut.

[Kyle Brandt]

That's true. You know, Tate's chemical waste against that toxic waste. He is such a funny character.

[Bill Simmons]

In 2015, Entertainment Weekly did their 50 best high school movies ever. And this was ranked 48, which I was personally offended by.

[Joe House]

Yeah, Too low. Way too low. Where would you put it?

[Bill Simmons]

Much higher.

[Kyle Brandt]

There's a whole top 20.

[Bill Simmons]

There's a whole top 20.

[Joe House]

Is it in the top 10?

[Bill Simmons]

For me. I mean, for me personally, it would be in the top 12 or 13. But there's been a lot of good ones in the last 20 years, though, so it's tough. You'd really have to. This could be a good segment for me.

[Kyle Brandt]

It's.

[Bill Simmons]

So does Superbad necessarily count as a high school movie? Cause we're not really in high school.

[Joe House]

Yeah, they're graduating. It's a graduation party.

[Bill Simmons]

How many actual high school scenes are in super Badland?

[Craig]

There's like the cooking class.

[Joe House]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

Room and everything.

[Joe House]

It's. It's like kind of a one crazy night movie, but it's like, we're leaving high school.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. That's fair. All right.

[Joe House]

If can't hardly wait as a high school movie, then super bad.

[Bill Simmons]

What else from your generation for high school movies? Yeah. Easy A.

[Craig]

Easy A is a good one. She's the man, which is the remake of this movie to a degree.

[Bill Simmons]

Craig was like, is this the O.G. she's the man. I was immediately offended.

[Craig]

That's correct.

[Kyle Brandt]

I've not seen she's the Man. I'll never see she's the Man. Due respect.

[Craig]

You've never seen it?

[Joe House]

No, I have seen it. It's a much. Well, as an English major, it's a much more direct Twelfth Night adaptation starring Julia Stiles. They're using the long training is more accurate in terms of any time I.

[Kyle Brandt]

Would ever be spending free time watching she's the Man. I could be watching just one of the guys. So that's what I would do on tubing.

[Joe House]

I mean, say what you will about Joyce, but she's, you know.

[Bill Simmons]

You know what's funny about she's the Man's Amanda Bynes.

[Joe House]

Right.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

So when I moved out, Amanda Bynes.

[Joe House]

Looks demented in drag as a teenage boy. Like, absolutely demented.

[Bill Simmons]

But not as realistic as Joyce.

[Joe House]

No, Joyce, I think also Mean girls.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, mean girls.

[Kyle Brandt]

Legit.

[Bill Simmons]

When I moved out here and I was working for Kimmel and Kimmel had like a 9 or 10 year old daughter and like a 7 year old, and they were watching all those shows and I didn't have kids yet, and he was talking about Amanda Bynes and he's like, she's so freaking talented. Like, her show's amazing. She's like, watch out for her. It's gonna be. But it kind of peaked where she's. Then she had a bunch of personal problems.

[Joe House]

She has personal problems.

[Bill Simmons]

She's the man. Was like the one movie she made, right?

[Joe House]

No, there's one where her dad, like Colin Firth is her dad.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, like a sad one.

[Joe House]

Well, no, no, no.

[Kyle Brandt]

Isn't she the president's daughter?

[Craig]

Oh, yeah. My date with the president's daughter. And then the Amanda show was big. She had her own like, variety show, all that stuff.

[Bill Simmons]

She really had a moment.

[Craig]

What a girl wants.

[Bill Simmons]

I thought. I thought Lindsay Lohan was. This was one of my hottest takes, probably the last 20 years. I genuinely think she should have like won Oscars. I thought she was like a great actress or. No, no.

[Joe House]

Confessions of a Drama.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm saying when she got. When she got older, I thought she had like all the talent to actually go do some stuff.

[Kyle Brandt]

I got to talk to. To Dennis Quaid once and I asked him about Lindsay Lohan and the Parent Trap and he like, got really serious and he's like, I think the most talented person I've ever worked with. Yeah, he's like Lindsay Lohan. You worked with everybody. He's like incredible. Yeah, it's like that talented.

[Bill Simmons]

And then even when she hosted SNL the first time and she like crushed it, she could do imitations, but I think she just went off the rails. Unfortunately.

[Kyle Brandt]

She's in a sketch. She's in a Harry Potter sketch where she comes back and Hermione's blossomed over the summer. It is so fucking funny.

[Joe House]

But I mean, the story is like, all these people came into Hollywood too young without, you know, no question. I'd have some proper supervision.

[Bill Simmons]

I have some good Billy Jacoby stuff for later. This movie is directed by Lisa Gottlieb, co written by Dennis Feldman and Jeff Franklin, two artists.

[Joe House]

Jeff Franklin of Full House fame. Jeff Franklin probably has more money than any.

[Bill Simmons]

You're right.

[Kyle Brandt]

Good job.

[Bill Simmons]

Budget unknown.

[Joe House]

They said five million. Lisa Gottlieb has said five million in interviews.

[Kyle Brandt]

This movie looks like they spent 600 grand. It's just. I don't mean that as an insult. It's just so low key.

[Bill Simmons]

Most of it was on the beach scene.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Made $11.5 million.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And then was on HBO for.

[Joe House]

And a huge rental.

[Bill Simmons]

Like hbo Comedy Central rental, everything.

[Kyle Brandt]

You know what was a huge part of this for me? A huge part. Fantastic poster. Fantastic. I used to go to the video stores, Benny's video in LaGrange, Illinois. And you'd scan the shelves and you would get to one where there's Terry in the locker room with a football helmet over each breast, like, looking very pleased about it. And it was so sexy and so perfect. And I was like. It was. Everything I want in the world is right there. And I would rent that movie all the time.

[Bill Simmons]

Who, out of Anyone, in these 80s 90s movies, if you met in real life, would you be embarrassed to meet?

[Joe House]

What do you mean, embarrassed? Like flustered?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, flustered.

[Joe House]

Oh, okay.

[Bill Simmons]

Cause Joyce is up there for me. I'd be flustered to meet Joyce.

[Joe House]

Andrew McCarthy.

[Bill Simmons]

Andrew McCarthy.

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

I mean, I still think it's Judd Nelson. I think he's the coolest character in any 80s high school movie. In Bender.

[Bill Simmons]

But you'd be meeting Jed Nelson now.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah, I wouldn't be flustered. I don't think I'd be excited to meet him. I think if I was meeting John Bender with the fingerless gloves and all that, I think I would be.

[Joe House]

But we were a big mannequin household.

[Bill Simmons]

So Andrew McCarthy Rembert and I, in 2014, Rembert and I were in Boston and we went to a conference that Thelma from Good Times was from. We both loved it. I loved her as a kid. And we got a picture with her and we were both like. We were on a high for like, five hours after. We were so excited. She looked great. She still looked great, this picture. Yeah, it was awesome.

[Kyle Brandt]

You met Thelma from Good Times. Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

And I was like, I loved you. I just absolutely. As a little kid, just full fledged, absolute love. And I think she's been hearing it her whole life, but it was great.

[Kyle Brandt]

I met Carter from Give Me a Break. Freaked me out. It was a lot. No, I didn't. I wish I would have, though.

[Joe House]

I love Craig.

[Bill Simmons]

Who's your number one? If you met somebody, who would you be the most flustered by?

[Craig]

Like right now or in their prime?

[Bill Simmons]

No, right now. You'd have to meet them now.

[Craig]

We're talking females or males.

[Bill Simmons]

He could be anybody.

[Craig]

Wow, there's like the females.

[Joe House]

Are you asking him? You need to give him prayers.

[Craig]

Like Leo DiCaprio.

[Joe House]

Sure.

[Craig]

I'd be intimidated if I was just chatting with Leo DiCaprio.

[Bill Simmons]

That's not a fun answer.

[Craig]

Well, you want me to say like Margot Robbie.

[Joe House]

I think he means from like Margot Robbie.

[Craig]

Sure.

[Bill Simmons]

No, no, no.

[Joe House]

Let's pick. Let's pick, like comedies that you watch when you were a kid.

[Bill Simmons]

You get to be a kid when you liked it.

[Craig]

Yeah, when I was a kid, Blake Lively in the movie Accepted was a big deal for me. You ever seen that movie?

[Joe House]

It's a great guess.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

Great answer for like 14 year old Craig. Team Blake in the Baldoni Blake Feud right there.

[Craig]

Well, I don't know about that.

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

Record.

[Bill Simmons]

Now they call you to the stand.

[Kyle Brandt]

You're going to be subpoenaed.

[Joe House]

Team Lively Reynolds. That's a good movie.

[Craig]

Accepted. Have you seen Accepted? Not technically high school. Technically college. But it's good.

[Bill Simmons]

I think I have.

[Joe House]

It's not.

[Kyle Brandt]

I've seen every movie just along. Right.

[Craig]

It's not good.

[Joe House]

It's not good.

[Kyle Brandt]

They make up their own college.

[Craig]

Yeah. South Harmon Institute of Technology. The shitheads.

[Bill Simmons]

We're going to take a break.

[Kyle Brandt]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

And when we come back, we're going to go through the categories, including a couple new ones that either of you have been involved with.

[Kyle Brandt]

Can't wait.

[Joe House]

This podcast is brought to you by Carvana. Selling your car shouldn't feel like a second job. It should feel easy. With Carvana, it is. Just visit Carvana.com, enter your license plate or VIN, answer a few quick questions and get an offer in minutes. Like what you see. We'll pick it up right from your door and hand you your check. No haggling, no hassle, no problem. Car selling made easy on Carvana. Pickup fees may apply.

[Bill Simmons]

This episode is brought to you by TaxAct. Like an expert coach, TaxAct offers step by step guidance and guaranteed accuracy when filing taxes. Get tips along the way. Add expert assist to talk to tax experts and let our experts do your taxes for you. With Expert full service, TaxAct helps you find the deductions and credits you deserve so you can get them over with. Visit taxact.com to learn more. Conditions apply. See taxact.com for details. All right, first category is Watch Party.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

I love this bunch of best setting for a watch or a rewatch. You saw the possibilities. What's your answer?

[Joe House]

You have one that's like Peanut Gallery Ladies Night.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Joe House]

That's what I think, Kyle.

[Kyle Brandt]

It's got to be in a basement.

[Bill Simmons]

I think it's like four Buddies.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah, I think it's dudes, like grown up sleepover, you know, like you have some root beer and some video games and you watch just one of the guys.

[Bill Simmons]

I have Peanut Gallery a pre game for this.

[Joe House]

Yeah. I was really impressed that you watch that. You like made this a family movie in your household. I think that I genuinely kind of cool. I genuinely think that's great. When you told us that you were watching it with. With your son and your wife. He loves this movie, you know, I was like, what do they think? You're like, oh, we've been watching this for years. He loves it. So.

[Bill Simmons]

My kids really genuinely love these 80s movies. But I don't know if it's because I was just banging them over the head with them from day one. But we watched it.

[Joe House]

You got to bring them up, right? You got to bring them up.

[Kyle Brandt]

Anytime I do the pod, my wife always asks, what's the movie? She had not even heard of this movie. A little younger than me, but before I came over here, Billy, I had lunch with some old college friends. Dudes just like me. And they were watchables guys. And they're like, oh, fuck. What move were you doing? I was like, do you guys remember just one of the guys? Fuck yeah. Oh, yeah. The scene at the end is incredible. Like they. They knew the movie and they liked it.

[Joe House]

They didn't say the one based on Shakespeare.

[Bill Simmons]

They didn't say the movie said 12th name.

[Kyle Brandt]

Those are all finance guys that leave that to me.

[Bill Simmons]

Fred was like, it's so cool that she got that job at the newspaper.

[Kyle Brandt]

It's really cool journalism.

[Joe House]

She grew a lot as a lot, you know.

[Bill Simmons]

Most rewatchable scene, I will give you Buddy's first scene, which includes lines like, I've had lots of sex. It's just now I'd like to try with a partner.

[Kyle Brandt]

Awesome.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm 15 years old. In two years, I reached the peak of my sexual powers. And Horny will kick embarrassment's ass anytime.

[Joe House]

Really good one.

[Bill Simmons]

Which I think is a high school yearbook wrote quote. Is it too late? Was it January?

[Joe House]

It's a good life lesson. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

You can submit the yearbook stuff now, right? Horny will kick embarrassment's ass anytime. Buddy. What was her last name?

[Joe House]

Griffith.

[Bill Simmons]

Buddy Griffith. Yeah, Just throw that in. In the yearbook. Nobody else.

[Kyle Brandt]

Wait, say it one more time.

[Bill Simmons]

Horny will kick embarrassment's ass anytime.

[Kyle Brandt]

That was my philosophy on the real world.

[Bill Simmons]

Wisdom in there.

[Joe House]

Would you get that?

[Kyle Brandt]

My parents were thrilled.

[Joe House]

Would you get that as a tattoo, though?

[Bill Simmons]

That's too many words.

[Joe House]

Okay. What about did embarrassment.

[Bill Simmons]

Did embarrassment come back and kick Corny's ass eventually with your real world stint? Yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

Don't underestimate embarrassment. It's strong in the late rounds. It starts wearing you down.

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Buddy teaches Terry to act like a guy.

[Joe House]

I think that's.

[Kyle Brandt]

I mean, fantastic. Move him around.

[Bill Simmons]

All balls itch. It's a fact. Another possible yearbook quote.

[Joe House]

That's the line of the movie.

[Bill Simmons]

Craig, I can't believe you didn't love this movie. You don't know that, Buddy. It's a small one, but Buddy's singing slowhand. They're just like, hey, Jacoby, we need like a minute. We're a minute short. Can you just cook? Buddy does algebra and drunk Terry comes home. Buddy stops by Terry's school. Thanks for the message, bud.

[Joe House]

The Kavina Kavina, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Your touch is the reason I went through puberty. This also has Rick standing up to Greg.

[Kyle Brandt]

Uh huh.

[Bill Simmons]

Bold choice.

[Kyle Brandt]

Hell yeah. Nonviolent too.

[Joe House]

I think there's a reason we haven't talked about Rick very much so far in our.

[Bill Simmons]

Where's he get to?

[Kyle Brandt]

I just showed her some of her cards. I feel like.

[Bill Simmons]

He'S strong enough to lift tables and spill food. Greg Tolan.

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

Were you a messy baby? Awesome.

[Bill Simmons]

I like that asshole. Called me an asshole too. Some of the writing in this is really good. Terry asks her friend to the prom and then Sherilyn Fenn shows up. We didn't talk about her either.

[Joe House]

Yeah, we haven't talked. Wow. That is actually. I'm very surprised we haven't talked about Sherilyn Fence.

[Bill Simmons]

That scene's Jacoby. Somebody comes into their house and he puts the horns on Denise. What's your rush?

[Kyle Brandt]

Incredible.

[Bill Simmons]

We're young, we're wild. The prom fight. Rick breaks out a jab game here. How'd you feel about that?

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah.

[Joe House]

Where did that come from?

[Bill Simmons]

Boxing gym training.

[Joe House]

Do you think it comes from his dance moves? You know how he likes to dance all by himself. Does that put him in condition to beat up the bully without any preamble to his ability to punch?

[Kyle Brandt]

It's incredible though. He like. He turns into like Purnell Sweet Pea Whitaker. And he's just loading the Compubox and he's just loading it with. Right on Zabka's nose. And then he finishes them straight jab. And it's really impressive.

[Joe House]

Let's say that Terry and Buddy, like, wore him Down a little bit. And then Rick was able to finish the job.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, you think that sort of was.

[Joe House]

Yeah, I was trying to explain it.

[Kyle Brandt]

If they were doing fan service now, they would have Zabka sweep the leg and we'd be like, fuck yeah, dies.

[Joe House]

Here's my question. They filmed. They filmed this. This movie in Arizona.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Joe House]

We're having a beach prom.

[Bill Simmons]

I had a lot that was in my Unanswerables.

[Joe House]

A beat. What beach?

[Bill Simmons]

So what the unanswerable for me is what state are we in?

[Joe House]

Well, the license plate.

[Bill Simmons]

We have a beach.

[Joe House]

They filmed it in Phoenix and Scottsdale.

[Bill Simmons]

What they did in the 80s, you never knew where you were unless you're in California.

[Kyle Brandt]

I think that's what they did. And they wanted it to be that Southern California thing, but they just shot it in Arizona for cheaper. Because they don't talk about being in Arizona.

[Joe House]

No.

[Kyle Brandt]

You just look it up and they shot it in Phoenix. But it's true. There's no, like.

[Bill Simmons]

Because Can't Buy Me Love is clearly Arizona. There's cactuses, like, they kind of own being in Arizona for that.

[Joe House]

I didn't bump it until the end when he drives up in the, like, rabbit or whatever, and it's like an Arizona license plate. And I was like, what the hell? We're in Arizona this whole time with a beach.

[Bill Simmons]

You kind of never knew. When you watch these movies in the 80s and 90s where anything was, like, true.

[Joe House]

Because, like, the John Hughes movies have a clear sense.

[Bill Simmons]

That's it.

[Joe House]

And then no, then there's like a lot of California stuff, but, like ET.

[Bill Simmons]

When I was a kid.

[Joe House]

Sure.

[Bill Simmons]

And I'm on the East Coast. I don't know where that is. I just know we might be in. In California. I don't know. I have no context of geography where we are.

[Joe House]

This should have been like a California movie, though. And I think if they had had the budget, it would have been like Fast Times. Yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

Right. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. I was going to do this later, but Greg, kind of a choke job in the fight. Even if you could say that the Griffith kids wore him down a little bit. Like, he's been training for this his whole life. Somebody's directly challenged him. He's already gotten a good shot on him.

[Kyle Brandt]

He has a 28 degree lead.

[Bill Simmons]

Knock it down.

[Kyle Brandt]

He had a cold cock.

[Bill Simmons]

He's got the gloves on.

[Joe House]

Here are my notes. His lift routine is actually pretty weak. Right. He's lifting tables and occasional benches.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Joe House]

Pressing literal benches, not actual weights.

[Bill Simmons]

So this is like the Mike Tyson in the. In the Buster Douglas fight where it's like the bully just got punched once and didn't have a plan.

[Joe House]

I don't think he actually, you know.

[Bill Simmons]

So he just never had a fight.

[Kyle Brandt]

I think probably that's the old thing. It's just, hey, listen, Biff Tannen goes down with one punch from Crispin Glover. You know, sometimes they get those bullies go down easy. I do have to shout out, though, like, one of my top five favorite things about this movie is that Greg Tolan has bullying gloves that he puts on exclusively to bully. And it was like, when it's bullying time, like, hold on a second, let me get my gloves on.

[Joe House]

Second.

[Kyle Brandt]

He's void driver.

[Bill Simmons]

Yes.

[Kyle Brandt]

He's like, they're driving gloves. Fingerless bullying gloves. And it's such a fun, creative flourish that I've never seen before or since. It's so easy.

[Joe House]

I love how wearily all the nerds or whatever, like, just lift up their lunch trays. They're like, it's time.

[Bill Simmons]

It's about that time when they fight in movies. They don't fight like they do on my Instagram algorithm. When I get served fights outside by drunk people.

[Joe House]

Tell me about.

[Bill Simmons]

Usually, like, either they're swinging wildly or they. One of them attacks the other. Nobody's like, doing the.

[Kyle Brandt]

No doing the bill.

[Joe House]

Can you tell me a bit more about the drunk fights that you watch on your Instagram?

[Bill Simmons]

Once you watch two of them, they're just going to keep serving them to you.

[Kyle Brandt]

You can watch half of one of the parking lot for the rest of your life.

[Joe House]

Is it like people who have had a night out and. And tied one on, or like, it.

[Bill Simmons]

Could either be like, there is some so drunk people. But the best thing about those clips is you can start it and immediately be like, guy on the left. You just. You come in like, you're like, Max Keller. Do you think there's guy on the left? He looks like he's gonna win. And then sometimes there's an upset. You're like, whoa, guy on the right.

[Kyle Brandt]

Sometimes guy on the left gets folded.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

And what is it? If I click on. If I click for 0.5 seconds, I'm.

[Bill Simmons]

Gonna get you hooked on this.

[Joe House]

Even on.

[Kyle Brandt]

Even on. Like, on Twitter, you go to the 4U. And I was like, what is it about me? You think I want to see some guy get his face beaten in. In an alley? Show me a football video. It's always there.

[Bill Simmons]

That's my algorithm, too. It's football videos, Vegas movies, sucker punch people Fighting in a parking lot.

[Joe House]

I think we cracked it. Craig, as a football guy, do you get served drunk fights?

[Bill Simmons]

I get Sue.

[Craig]

I honestly do. I do get some fights in my eyes.

[Joe House]

So do football guys.

[Bill Simmons]

Do you immediately do bunk test of guy on the left, guy on the right.

[Craig]

Sometimes I have to do like the quick scroll away just to tell the algorithm, like, I don't need more of these.

[Kyle Brandt]

Like you gotta, you gotta send a message to. You gotta tell it who's boss.

[Craig]

Exactly.

[Kyle Brandt]

If you make eye contact with the.

[Craig]

Algorithm, it's like you can't turn down the algorithm.

[Joe House]

Straight topped market of sports betting on.

[Bill Simmons]

Drunk fight bling test bum fights or.

[Joe House]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I think they're. Well the worst algorithm thing that happened to me was I watched a Tsunami video once and then it just started serving me Tsunami stuff. And I was like, how do I tap out of this? Tap out done. I was like researching how to clean my cachet. I was like, I never want to see this again.

[Kyle Brandt]

They don't ask you, are you enjoying the Tsunami videos? No, no, no. And then God forbid you not only click on it, if you share it with someone that's a tattoo, you're fucked. You're sharing this guy getting his head kicked in. In a circle K. I got you for life. You can't get rid of it.

[Bill Simmons]

Next rewatchable scene, the famous scene which includes him just butchering Cyndi Lauper's pronunciation and calling it Lauper.

[Joe House]

Cyndi Lauper.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, right. And I'm Cyndi Lauper.

[Kyle Brandt]

How's that?

[Bill Simmons]

How did I do a second take?

[Kyle Brandt]

I don't know. You know what, Great call.

[Joe House]

Why did they not stop me on the panel? They asked him about that and he's like, yeah. People's like still yell that at me. I'm like so embarrassed by it.

[Kyle Brandt]

Oh, my God.

[Joe House]

And I think it was Billy. Billy Jacoby was like, had you heard of the recording artist Cyndi Lauper before we made this film?

[Craig]

The director's fault.

[Joe House]

I agree. Yeah, I agree.

[Kyle Brandt]

There's 30 people on set. What is it, the Marion Cobretti cutting pizza with scissors award? Why didn't someone stop this?

[Joe House]

Cyndi Lauper is.

[Kyle Brandt]

Cyndi Lauper was a house. It'd be like saying Madonna instead of Madonna. It's Lauper Lauper and I'm Madonna. And he's supposed to be this thoughtful character who loves music and has all these records. Cyndi Lauper, Rick. Terrible.

[Bill Simmons]

The big reveal.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Where do you get off having tits? Do you think that was written or ad libbed by Clayton Rohner, I think they said.

[Joe House]

There wasn't much ad libbing on this.

[Kyle Brandt]

In the script accusatory sentence too.

[Bill Simmons]

He was pissed.

[Joe House]

He was.

[Bill Simmons]

Big kiss, and then it's all right, he has tits and walks away. And then Terry goes home and walks in on Buddy and starts telling him about the night Buddy's sitting under the covers. That's really interesting.

[Kyle Brandt]

Really.

[Bill Simmons]

I mean, this was on all the time and it was always a suck in every time.

[Kyle Brandt]

It's really fun.

[Bill Simmons]

I never really understood why Rick was so upset.

[Joe House]

Cause he thought they. I'm not one to defend Rick, but he thought that they were friends, they were pals. It was like a. It was a reaction. He had a reaction. You're allowed to have a reaction.

[Kyle Brandt]

My unanswerable about that is I like.

[Bill Simmons]

The defensive Rick, though, is, yeah, if.

[Kyle Brandt]

You were hanging out with a dude, dude to dude for a couple weeks, you're killing bruise, you're chasing girls, he's becoming your best friend in this new.

[Craig]

School, hanging out in bathrooms together.

[Bill Simmons]

Music, urinal talk.

[Kyle Brandt]

And then you find out that it's a woman that's kissing you. Could you recover, like Rick does, to then go and ostensibly date her? Or is it like, I spent two weeks with you as a platonic male friend. I can't go.

[Joe House]

Then I will say this is where there's a scale. This is where we let down pretty.

[Kyle Brandt]

High on the scale.

[Joe House]

This is where we're letting down the Shakespeare adaptation, though, right? Because in Twelfth Night, Orsino is hot for her when she's in drag. So like, there should have been some like, like confused attraction to her boyfriend.

[Bill Simmons]

The most politically incorrect sports movie ever right behind you in a fast break.

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Swish is pretending to be a guy on the Cadwalader State basketball team. And D.C. dacey is falling for Swish, thinking it's a guy, and then leaves the team because he's convinced he's becoming gay. And then he finds out Swish is a woman. They don't even go near that in just one of the guys. And Rick's like, attracted to her.

[Joe House]

What she and Tatum do. And she's the man. He's attracted to her, right?

[Craig]

Yeah. There is like a weird energy between them that he doesn't quite understand.

[Kyle Brandt]

It's cool, though, Rick, like, when Rick finds out before the reveal, he's like, it's cool you're gay.

[Joe House]

Yeah. There's a little no homo from him where he's like. But then he's like. He's like. He's like, oh, yeah, you're gay. I get it.

[Kyle Brandt]

It's big right now because of the reveal in Netflix. And I've seen people assailing it for saying that's not realistic back in the 80s. And I'm like, watch what Rick did. Like he was really cool about that. And I like that. I like that moment.

[Joe House]

At that moment, I will say Rick, when he comes in the end and he's like, let me do the one, do the asking out. Okay? Okay, fine. Well, I gotta drive. I'm like, it's her car.

[Kyle Brandt]

Rick, you lost us. You totally lost us. Rick, what do you think?

[Joe House]

As long as I'm driving.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay, Rick, also, Rick, you dressed like you were going bowling. There were no girls to be seen. You went out with the prom queen and Terry, who's a smoke show, like, settle down. I know the Terry drive. The ending, which includes that also buddy ends up on a motorcycle with a 40 year old woman. And that's how the movie ends.

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

My son, when we watched it on Tuesday is like, dad, why did they do that? Like he just didn't understand. I was like, I don't know, it's the 80s.

[Craig]

Liz and I went back and watched that twice, thinking, did we miss something? Is this character a 40 year old boy? It's a fantasy of his that we didn't hear about.

[Joe House]

Don't you feel like her friend who niece hooked up with a 40 year old like prom band singer.

[Kyle Brandt]

Oh yeah, dude, that's right.

[Bill Simmons]

We had that too.

[Joe House]

And then also Rick's like deflowering story is his mom's friend fucked him when his dad died.

[Kyle Brandt]

My mom's friend made me feel good.

[Bill Simmons]

What?

[Kyle Brandt]

Holy shit. Should I go?

[Joe House]

You're a child.

[Craig]

Wait, I want to, I want to get into that because that's my flex. It's a book about medals award for the belatedly best quoter exchange.

[Kyle Brandt]

Okay?

[Craig]

They're talking about if they've ever lost their virginity. Terry goes, have you ever had sex? He's like, yeah, one time. And her weird New York accent. She's like, tell me about it. And he's like, just after my dad died, this friend of my mom's, I think she wanted me to cheer me up and she did. And then Terry goes, is that your room over there? And they just never talk about that again.

[Kyle Brandt]

Awesome.

[Craig]

That's like a whole movie, that quote. It's like, holy shit, what happened there?

[Joe House]

It explains a lot about Rick.

[Bill Simmons]

This movie's the best.

[Kyle Brandt]

The real fast movies.

[Bill Simmons]

See, you're talking yourself into it.

[Joe House]

You love this Movie.

[Kyle Brandt]

Attaboy. I don't know why Buddy gets on the back of a motorcycle with a soccer mom at the end of the movie with no helmet, no words, exchanges, nothing.

[Joe House]

A motorcycle babe who has been around is going to show him some things.

[Bill Simmons]

She's like, yeah, that's what?

[Kyle Brandt]

Back in the day, just the dream woman would appear out of nowhere for no reason. Dream woman.

[Joe House]

I didn't blink twice. This is a very 80s ending to a movie. Yeah.

[Craig]

Well, was he the one who went on to do MILF Manor?

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah, that's it.

[Joe House]

Yes.

[Kyle Brandt]

Hello.

[Bill Simmons]

Origin story for MILF Manor. Origin story. Well, we know what it. What most rewatchable was for Kyle and I. What do you have?

[Joe House]

I think it's him teaching her how to be a dude. The tube socks down the jeans. Like that whole sequence.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay. What's the most 1985 thing about this movie?

[Joe House]

I have a good one for this.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Joe House]

It's the inseam on Kevin's shorts. When her college boyfriend Kevin comes over at the beginning of the movie, he's like rocking Magnum PI Short shorts. It's wild.

[Bill Simmons]

See, I gotta look for that. I somehow miss that.

[Kyle Brandt]

You just throw a dart at this movie and find anything. I have a really little one. One of the times that Billy's reading the magazine. The back of the magazine.

[Joe House]

Just saying, reading a magazine.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, the Carlton cigarette.

[Kyle Brandt]

Less tar. They're bragging that they have less tar than the other brands. Like we have tar in our cigarettes for sure. But less than those guys. That was a huge deal back in the day.

[Bill Simmons]

That's very. I had Terry's word processor.

[Kyle Brandt]

Sure.

[Bill Simmons]

I had the whole concept of a high school student aspiring to be a newspaper writer.

[Joe House]

Sure. Journalism is aspirational.

[Bill Simmons]

Buddy's sleeveless jeans jacket. I don't think you could walk outside in that.

[Joe House]

Now for the back half of the movie, he's just in a parade of sleeveless button down things.

[Bill Simmons]

This was a look.

[Kyle Brandt]

It's like he looks like he's in Double Dragon. I don't know what his. It's either flannel, sleeveless denim.

[Joe House]

Sleeveless denim.

[Kyle Brandt]

Sleeveless lumberjack. I don't know what that was, but.

[Joe House]

It'S like a thing that he found at the end of the movie. He's like, this is my look.

[Kyle Brandt]

This is not gonna be my look.

[Joe House]

It's very, don't tell mom the babysitter's dead. Like, you know the brother in that movie who does like, the dishes are done, man. And then Buddy in this movie is just sort of like the dishes Are done.

[Bill Simmons]

The great C. Tom Howell stole the look for secret admirer. Same kind of thing. Like, it was like this sleeveless jacket with the shirt underneath. Hasn't been seen since even late 80s. Nobody was doing this.

[Joe House]

See Tom Howell. I've never heard anyone see Tom Howell.

[Kyle Brandt]

Might have to come up later in the seat.

[Joe House]

He's 100% coming up later.

[Kyle Brandt]

I think I know where you're going.

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

All right. All right.

[Bill Simmons]

I have a couple more high school kids dressing up like Trekkies. We don't do that anymore.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

Calling a beer a brewski twice. I don't remember what year that ended, but it was right around here.

[Joe House]

I also just don't know that teenagers did it ever. Right?

[Kyle Brandt]

No.

[Bill Simmons]

The prom band is very. This is like a great era for prom bands because we have weird science. We back to school, whatever. The band that Rodney Dangefield hires, Oingo Boingo. Been scouting that movie hard. By the way. I forgot to tell you.

[Kyle Brandt]

I'm all over it.

[Bill Simmons]

The man in here, they all had like. They were all too old to be playing at the high school. They all had the high hair. They all had the weird guitars that had like little daggers on them and stuff.

[Kyle Brandt]

And they're not. They're playing originals too.

[Craig]

I like that.

[Kyle Brandt]

No, Duran Duran. This is one of our tunes.

[Joe House]

The two guys on stage or two of the guys on stage were like longtime drummers for Rod Stewart. That's a fun fact I learned about this.

[Kyle Brandt]

Thank God you're here.

[Joe House]

Really good stuff, right?

[Kyle Brandt]

I like that.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, my winner for what's most 1985 thing about this movie is every single Deborah Foreman outfit. She's the one who. The prom queen who Rick falls for.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

There's one outfit she has that I don't even. There might have been like a four week window where people were wearing that yellow outfit she has. I know where she's dressed basically like Madonna. And then at that outfit, like, you couldn't wear that ever. Like, I don't even know if you could wear that ironically at an Amy's party. Nobody would believe it.

[Joe House]

Do you mean Madonna?

[Bill Simmons]

Madonna? What stage? The best. The opening of this movie is exactly like any porn you would have watched from the 80s. If you actually watch it, it's like she wakes up and it's like just one of the guys. And with like terrible music. And it's like. Is this.

[Joe House]

Yeah. Girls Got, Boys Ain't Got. You know.

[Bill Simmons]

What rating is this? For weeks.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Joe House]

Just incredible.

[Kyle Brandt]

And you think there's gonna be a Doorbell. And the guy's like, I'm here to fix the cable. And he comes on. Oh, wow. Here we go, boys. Don't got.

[Bill Simmons]

What do you got? I have a bunch.

[Kyle Brandt]

I have a bunch too. Joe and I were talking about this before the show. Having an older sibling whose friends come over is just one of the all time adolescent things. Whether it's your older sister's friends or you go to a friend's house and he has an older sister and you're 14 and there's three 16 year old girls watching TV like it's Sodom and Gomorrah. Like you can't imagine how sexy and how hot that is when you're a teenager. And this is what Billy goes through for the whole movie. Billy Jacoby. I love that.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, you're in love with. And I'm an only child, but I had the friends who had the older ones. You're just in love with every friend they have.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Doesn't matter.

[Kyle Brandt]

We used to go to my friend's Mark house. Mark's older sister Lisa was like three years older. And we found out that she loved Ricard Noir. She just loved how it smelled. So before we go to Mark's house.

[Bill Simmons]

We put on 50 swores of Dracar Noir all over.

[Kyle Brandt]

Hey, Lisa, what's up? And she'd be like, are you wearing Drakkar? And it was amazing.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

Shout out Lisa Ross.

[Bill Simmons]

Maybe people are better now than we were back then.

[Joe House]

Dakar Noir business.

[Bill Simmons]

What else do you have?

[Kyle Brandt]

As someone from the Midwest, I fucking love outdoor high schools, outdoor lockers, outdoor everything that was unthinkable for where I went to school.

[Bill Simmons]

That's a great point.

[Kyle Brandt]

They're just hanging at the lockers. There's sunshine behind them, there's cactus. Same thing in camp. Buying me love outdoor. And then also the outdoor prom. Like my prom was at the o' Hare Airport Hilton. Like just absolute garbage. And they're on the beach with these lanterns and this food and this band. The outdoorness of it is really cool.

[Joe House]

I just don't think people had beach proms outside of movies.

[Bill Simmons]

Definitely some.

[Joe House]

I grew up in California. Like Bay Area, California. We didn't. You grew up in California, Craig, we didn't have beach proms. That's.

[Kyle Brandt]

Well, he's throwing Terry into the ocean and no one comes to stop him. There's no faculties or anything. He's got Terry, like he's got like a stone cold stunner is coming or. And he's like, just go ahead.

[Joe House]

As you said, there's no adults in this movie except for like teachers.

[Bill Simmons]

And they're the horniest people in the movie.

[Kyle Brandt]

There's.

[Joe House]

Well, there's the bowling PE guy who also was like, oh, yeah. Surprise jock. Regular surprise jock. Inspector.

[Bill Simmons]

Yes.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

What do you have for what stage? The best.

[Joe House]

So this is. Would you call this a sex comedy?

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah. Almost every scene is about someone wanting to get laid.

[Joe House]

It's. It's horny. It's very horny.

[Bill Simmons]

It's a horny comedy. But I don't. I don't feel like it's in the Porky's thing where they're thing is like pork.

[Joe House]

There's like a bunch of sex comedies from the 80s that I think have aged really. That have age really poorly. Like the nerds. You're like, you know, like, blah, blah. I don't really want to watch this anymore. I think with like Fast Times, Valley Girl, directed by Martha. Like these, these women directed sex comedies of the 80s. I think it's like a really interesting. I don't know, I like a little more soulful. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I agree with you.

[Joe House]

Like, there's nothing in this movie that makes me cringe in the way that some of those other 80s sex comedies make.

[Bill Simmons]

And John Hughes, I think, was able to pull that off with all his stuff, Even like Word Science.

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

We talked about when we did that pod that could have gone sideways.

[Kyle Brandt]

Kelly LeBrock has nothing but great things to say about John Hughes, about on that set and everything. Like to your point, the fast time scene. Whereas Phoebe Cates and Jennifer Jason Leigh and they're giving instructions on how to give a blowjob.

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

The fact that, you know, there was a woman directing that, like, I don't know, it's safe or something.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, it feels more likable, more what's age the best for me, just parents being gone for the entire movie. This was half of the plots in the 80s.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

When did they give up on this, Craig? Because parents wouldn't leave their kids alone like this. Now we have too much information.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I would never be like, hey, Ben, we'll see in two weeks. Guard the house. Like I. There's no way. But like, and we have cameras now too.

[Kyle Brandt]

And you FaceTime them and you call them like there was none.

[Bill Simmons]

Like 360. Why is he at BevMo?

[Craig]

I mean, I don't know.

[Kyle Brandt]

That's true.

[Craig]

Even like when I was middle school, high school, you could still kind of get away with that. There was no, like, FaceTime. It was kind of like my Parents are gone for the weekend. They can call me on my cell phone, but that's about it.

[Joe House]

My parents are gone for the weekend is one thing. My parents. The parents are gone for two weeks. Yeah, two weeks during the school year.

[Bill Simmons]

I did have a couple friends where the parents did disappear for that long.

[Kyle Brandt]

Really?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Joe House]

Well, I think there's also an interesting. Like.

[Bill Simmons]

But it was like, that's where we just went. It's like, hey, Scott's parents are gone.

[Kyle Brandt]

It kind of breaks the high school movie rule that Buddy and Terry didn't throw a massive rager.

[Joe House]

Yeah, that's true.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah, they should have.

[Joe House]

Well, she was busy pursuing her journalism. Interesting boyfriend. Yeah, Kevin was like, pool party every day when your parents are gone. That's true.

[Bill Simmons]

The.

[Joe House]

There's a interesting, like, class thing going on in this movie, right? Like, Terry's. She's super rich and like, she goes to high school with other super rich kids. And then like, Rick, like, she goes to this high school and the other high school. Yeah, the other high school.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, she's at.

[Joe House]

But like, she's like, I got plastic. Let's just go get you a new wardrobe. Rick. Like, don't worry about it. And it's just like, she's just very.

[Bill Simmons]

Another reason why Rick probably should have forgiven her a little bit faster. Yeah, well, it's buying you clothes. She's like, your haircut looks like you've never had a girlfriend. He's like, I don't know.

[Joe House]

I don't like this might put you on a list. We need to fix it.

[Kyle Brandt]

Rick liked what he saw.

[Joe House]

He's like, have you heard? She's like, have you heard of a popped collar? Would you like to pop all of your collars for the rest of your life?

[Bill Simmons]

More. What's age the best? The douchey, rich college boyfriend with a convertible who seems like he's 15 years older than our girl in high school is an 80s staple. They have this in Secret Admirer as well. I don't know why this was a recurring character. And they all kind of had the same look.

[Kyle Brandt]

Can't Buy me love. Classic Bobby.

[Bill Simmons]

Bobby coming back with the.

[Kyle Brandt]

That makes you a prostitute. Like, yeah, always a dick. They always have blow drying hair and they're always 33 years old.

[Bill Simmons]

They always act like going to college gave them some sort of higher state.

[Kyle Brandt]

Of being by Imagine what a loser you are if you're in college and like an athlete or in a frat and your girlfriend's in high school like this. Why don't you have a College girl or someone.

[Joe House]

Yeah. It's like, status for her. Right? She thinks, well, this is like. This is like. Okay, is this movie about a woman opening her shirt and showing you her tits? Yes. Is this movie also about, like, a privileged, like, rich girl who has a shitty boyfriend and doesn't realize it?

[Kyle Brandt]

Cook joke.

[Joe House]

Who, like, goes to another school, befriends the nerds, like, meets a cooler guy, becomes a better writer? Because actually, her article did suck and, like, learn something about herself.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yes. Where does she get off having tits, though, Joe?

[Joe House]

You know, it's a great question.

[Bill Simmons]

Learns how to throw a jab when you're fighting on the beach.

[Kyle Brandt]

Just work the jab.

[Bill Simmons]

Work.

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

It's a long game. A couple more. Calling your dick spike. Just great for an 80s comedy.

[Kyle Brandt]

Calling your dick anything, anything spike. Even better.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm laughing every time.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

I'd rather wallow in my virginity. Just a great line. Bullies who use insults like tulip and chum stains.

[Kyle Brandt]

Awesome.

[Joe House]

Well, that's another reason why Tulip.

[Bill Simmons]

Where did he even come up with that?

[Joe House]

Well, we're not dropping F slurs this entire movie. That's another reason why this movie's better.

[Kyle Brandt]

Rewatch swearing everywhere.

[Joe House]

No, not just, like, the F bomb. Like the F slur. Like, you know.

[Kyle Brandt]

Oh, I see. I see.

[Joe House]

Okay.

[Kyle Brandt]

Slurs, right?

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

The soundtrack. I just want to shout out. The girls got purpose. Girls got something Boys don't got that guy.

[Kyle Brandt]

That guy's like, you need a song. He's like, yeah, we have 15 minutes to make the song. Just go. And he's like, I got it. No problem.

[Joe House]

Take it back.

[Kyle Brandt]

What a jam.

[Joe House]

And the other one there, you're like, you have two minutes. What's the title of the movie? Just One of the Guys.

[Kyle Brandt]

One of the guys.

[Joe House]

Great. Got it. I got it.

[Bill Simmons]

It's a great era. All right. Last thing I have is how much research there is on the top of scene, which I found hysterical. I couldn't believe, like, how much information there was.

[Kyle Brandt]

What do you got?

[Bill Simmons]

Highs are not sold on doing a topo scene. No nudity. In her contract, Gottlieb persuaded her to reconsider and she said, quote, honestly, I think you've gotta show him.

[Kyle Brandt]

She pulled her aside.

[Bill Simmons]

I think this is not something you couldn't do. The five part Martin Scorsese documentary about Lisa Gottlieb, I'm guessing, but this would have been a key part.

[Joe House]

In it, she talked about the for. So at the Q and A, the 30th anniversary Q&A that exists on YouTube. That was at Cinda Family. She talks about this for so long, about persuading, like, well, so one of.

[Bill Simmons]

Her best friends was Rosanna Arquette. Joyce just sounds like she was Rosanna Arquette.

[Kyle Brandt]

Really?

[Joe House]

She was like an it girl.

[Bill Simmons]

Just that. Yeah. She really felt like she was in the middle of everything. Rosanna said, I would say you shouldn't do it because no one will ever look into your eyes again as long as you live. On the other hand, people will look at you and see those breasts forever, even when you're an old lady. And Lisa Gottlieb said she heard that story and said, wow, I'll strip myself after hearing that reason. Okay, but that was Rosanna Arquette. Like, just think long game. Forty years from now, you'll be old. You'll be glad you did it. Interesting.

[Joe House]

So Joyce Heiser was talking about how she, like, this is before Freeze frame. This was before. Like, when we made this. I did not know that this would be like the Most paused moment in 80s cinema or whatever.

[Bill Simmons]

She didn't know porn. She was like, if I knew pornhub, all this shit was coming. Probably not soon, right?

[Joe House]

It's become, like this whole thing. But I saw an interview that she gave just, like a couple years ago where she was like, yeah. And I got really, like, you know, shy about doing nudity and I didn't want to do it. And she's like, now I wish I had. Because, you know, like, I wish I had done it honestly more often. What was I afraid of? So I thought that was interesting.

[Kyle Brandt]

Rosanna Arquette. She's in a movie with Van Damme called Nowhere to Run. One of his worst movies. Topless, Talented. Looks great.

[Joe House]

Roseanne Arquette, Colon, Topless, Talented. In that order.

[Kyle Brandt]

No, probably halfway.

[Bill Simmons]

She did it.

[Kyle Brandt]

They did not have an intimacy coordinator in that movie either, unfortunately. But I remember seeing theater.

[Bill Simmons]

And then Clayton Rohner weighed in. They were considered a work of art, not anything sexual. They were so beautiful. She was gorgeous.

[Kyle Brandt]

Oh, wow. Good for you.

[Joe House]

Okay.

[Kyle Brandt]

Just shooting from the hip.

[Bill Simmons]

They were all right. Well, I never.

[Joe House]

Okay.

[Kyle Brandt]

I mean, elephant in the room. She has fantastic breasts. Great. Good for him.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, we have a couple categories coming up.

[Kyle Brandt]

Oh, good.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, don't cover that. But the Steven Skull Shitting on Himself award for most unbelievable anecdote from the actual film shoot. The Godfather of Soul, James Brown.

[Joe House]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

Spent three days on set, allegedly to help Clayton Roner perfect his dance moves. And this was a thing that happened. And it's inexplicable. I researched it multiple places they keep.

[Joe House]

Saying it everywhere, so it has to be true.

[Bill Simmons]

His room is covered in James Brown stuff.

[Joe House]

He choreographed the prom dance moves that both Terry and Rick do.

[Bill Simmons]

Clayton Roner claims he was there for five days.

[Joe House]

No, he was Joyce.

[Bill Simmons]

So he went from the Senate, just one of the guys to doing Living in America with Apollo Creed.

[Joe House]

That's true.

[Kyle Brandt]

He was working a lot. Hardest working man. Gosh, that's right.

[Joe House]

James Brown showed up to do beach prom choreography for just one of the guys.

[Bill Simmons]

I just don't know if I believe it, but it's so adamant that this happened.

[Joe House]

I believe it the way that they all keep repeating it in interviews. Like, I just don't think it's a joke.

[Kyle Brandt]

It's also like, it's in the conversation for like the whitest movie ever made. And the male lead loves James Brown of all things.

[Bill Simmons]

That's like their way of working a black person into it. Clayton Rohner said, how many times do you get to sit and shoot the shit with James Brown for eight hours a day?

[Kyle Brandt]

Never.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm guessing it wasn't eight hours a day.

[Joe House]

I really don't.

[Bill Simmons]

I think it probably went from 10 minutes to an hour over the years past. All right, new category. The Billy Jacoby Award for most believable and yet unequivocally, unequivocally delightful anecdote from the actual film shooting. This is a new category, Craig. Clayton Rohner talking about Billy Jacoby. Well, Billy Jacoby was under 18. I think it was more like 15. I don't think he could drive. And he got in all kinds of trouble because his chaperone was his older sister and she didn't give a crap. And oh, my God, he was after every girl on the set. And I wouldn't be surprised if he got successful with a couple of them. He was a ladies man, that kid. I swear to God.

[Kyle Brandt]

Awesome.

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

So then the interviewer asks, Clayton Rohner, did he hook up with Sherilyn Fenn? Roner answers, I don't know. I think she was dating Chris Penn at the time. This movie's like a four hour documentary. Chris Penn. So Joyce Heiser is the most connected woman in Hollywood. Apparently. Sherilyn Fenn is under 18 dating Chris Penn. Clayton Rohner is hanging out with James Brown. What the fuck was happening at the.

[Joe House]

Boss is on the Set.

[Bill Simmons]

The Boss is on the set, yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

Plus, according to my research, Sherilyn Fenn at this time was with Johnny Depp. That's on her wiki page. That. So, like, I think he was somewhere Floating around too.

[Bill Simmons]

This is a movie set that had Bruce Springsteen and James Brown visiting and.

[Joe House]

They went to like Scottsdale, Arizona. They flew James Brown out to Arizona to do prom choreography.

[Bill Simmons]

Wait, one more anecdote from this interview. Unbelievable.

[Kyle Brandt]

I'm stunned.

[Bill Simmons]

They asked him how William Zabka was to work with in the 80s and Clayton said he was great. You know, he was a born again Christian. All the girls wanted to sleep with him and all he wanted to do was sing them songs and hang out.

[Joe House]

Interesting. I have to admit that's not how I thought Billy passed.

[Kyle Brandt]

Party boy.

[Joe House]

Yeah, yeah, interesting.

[Kyle Brandt]

There's still part of my brain that's still sitting here thinking about Joyce Heiser as Dr. Melfi. Like I haven't recovered from that moment.

[Joe House]

You may never come back.

[Bill Simmons]

How about 15 year old Billy Jacoby? Banging, banging chicks on just one of the guys.

[Kyle Brandt]

Amazing, amazing method guy Billy Jacoby.

[Joe House]

What do you think?

[Bill Simmons]

What if they put the podcast of the year?

[Joe House]

What if they had put Jacoby instead of David Faustino in Married With Children?

[Bill Simmons]

Better, better, better show.

[Joe House]

Yeah, like a great show.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah. Him and Christina Applegate working together.

[Bill Simmons]

It sounds like we should have put him in Basic Instinct and had him just with Sharon Stone.

[Kyle Brandt]

Instead of Wayne Knight sitting there watching him, he says, Billy sweating. That's great.

[Bill Simmons]

The Kid Cudi Pursuit of Happiness or Best Needle drop Trouble by Lindsey Buckingham's in this and Dropped nicely. The prom song is called Hard Way and it's like.

[Kyle Brandt]

Oh wait, that was cool.

[Bill Simmons]

It's not bad. It might have been their own song. I look for it on Spotify. It could be.

[Kyle Brandt]

It was like shitty Lover boy.

[Bill Simmons]

Totally, totally. Bake a Hoona burger where it best uses the fruit and drink obviously the spaghetti spill.

[Joe House]

The spaghetti like where has spaghetti spill gone? I feel like it was a staple of cinema for so long and now we are no longer.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, kids wouldn't eat spaghetti at lunchtime.

[Joe House]

I don't think people just eat big plates of spaghetti like they did in the 80s and 90s.

[Bill Simmons]

If you're an 80s movie, you know it's going on somebody.

[Joe House]

Oh yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Nobody's ever had a bite of spaghetti in 80s.

[Kyle Brandt]

Or you're just talking. In the Fatal Attraction, he gives it to his dog. What was that?

[Bill Simmons]

Oh yeah. Oh my God. That's the most upset Mal's ever been about anything that's ever been in a movie or TV show than Michael Douglas. Good spaghetti comes home from two days after sleeping with Glenn Close and just gives his dog spaghetti and meatballs.

[Craig]

Is that that bad?

[Joe House]

The meatballs doesn't seem like it should be that bad.

[Bill Simmons]

Complete violation.

[Craig]

But it's not like, you know, Craig.

[Bill Simmons]

Don'T have a dog.

[Craig]

You're not allowed a meatball. And some pasta is not that it works.

[Kyle Brandt]

The puking and the they're going to be doing all over the place.

[Joe House]

What if you just give. I I, I don't own a dog. What if you just gave the meatballs like could.

[Kyle Brandt]

That's better.

[Craig]

Like if she poured the dog.

[Kyle Brandt]

Bradley Cooper gives his dog a steak before he hangs himself in a Star Is Born Like a treat. I think that's better. The spaghetti.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Because you don't have to clear up the diarrhea after you're hanging in the garage.

[Joe House]

That's Lady Gaga's job.

[Bill Simmons]

The Billy Batts Jack Waltz award for most biting and scalable insult. New category for you.

[Kyle Brandt]

I fucking love it. And I have an answer.

[Bill Simmons]

What is it?

[Kyle Brandt]

It's when the Star Trek guys are in the cafeteria and they go, I seem to be detecting some sort of carbon based douchebag when you walk star at the table. I laugh every time he says that about Greg Toland. That's mine. Carbon based douchebag.

[Joe House]

I like those guys.

[Bill Simmons]

Pretty good. We'll take one more break and then Kyle's gotta flex with Venmo.

[Kyle Brandt]

Stash a taco in one hand and ordering a ride in the other means you're stacking cash back.

[Bill Simmons]

Nice.

[Kyle Brandt]

Get up to 5% cash back with Venmo stash on your favorite brands when you pay with your Venmo debit card. From takeout to ride shares, entertainment and more. Pick a bundle with your go tos and start earning cash back at those brands. Earn more cash when you do more with Stash. Venmo stash terms and exclusions apply. Max $100 cash back per month. See terms at Venmo Me stashterms.

[Bill Simmons]

All right, Kyle, what's your flex?

[Kyle Brandt]

All right, so I was gonna go Sasha Jenkins bigger star for Billy Jacoby, but we've covered so much of it, so that means I have to pivot. And usually when I pivot, I do a porn title, but I haven't prepared one.

[Joe House]

Off the dome, buddy.

[Bill Simmons]

You're an English major, Guys. I think it would be the same.

[Joe House]

Time you're an English major. You know Shakespeare. Do it.

[Kyle Brandt]

Thrust one of the guys. Also a gay porn probably. Thrust one of the guys.

[Bill Simmons]

Thrust one of the guys.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yes. We needed more sex talk from him.

[Bill Simmons]

I think it would have been just all of the guys.

[Kyle Brandt]

Thrust all the guys. That's Good too. That's good.

[Bill Simmons]

Butch's Girlfriend award for weak link of the film. I mean, a lot of ways to go here.

[Kyle Brandt]

What do you think, Zoe?

[Joe House]

Well, this is tough because both this and overacting is tough because it's just a vibe. I don't think that. I don't feel like anyone is doing a great, wonderful acting job. So I can't get upset, you know.

[Bill Simmons]

That'S why my answer is Cyndi Lauper. As we discussed earlier, I just can't believe they didn't do a second take.

[Joe House]

I also just. Rick as a character.

[Bill Simmons]

I still can't believe it.

[Joe House]

I would do a few more passes on Rick as a character. I feel like I like James Brown is not enough of a draw for our, like, leading lady, I think.

[Bill Simmons]

All right, next category is the Jamie Lee Curtis Unnecessary Nudity award, which is obviously, this could go one of two ways. They easily could have just gone bra and probably nailed it. Interesting, right?

[Joe House]

I mean, I don't.

[Bill Simmons]

It's 1985, so they're not going to do that.

[Joe House]

I mean, especially since she's like, quite obviously wearing a binder for the rest of the movie. Like, I was going to ask that.

[Craig]

Why is she not wearing a bra to push down her boobs at the bra.

[Joe House]

She's wearing a tux the rest of the movie. She's got like, basically an ace bandage on it. She's like, got a binder on. And when she pulls the shirt back together, you can see her bra on underneath. So, you know, it's for cinema, it's for art.

[Kyle Brandt]

Listen, it's 1985. You gotta deliver certain things, especially if your poster is what that poster is and you can't have the big, what the heck. That's what happens. You have to have some nudity in there.

[Craig]

I don't think this is unnecessary for the movie, to be honest.

[Bill Simmons]

Keep eyes.

[Kyle Brandt]

I. She tells him like three times, I'm a female. He won't believe her. What's he gonna do?

[Bill Simmons]

I think it's necessary. But I also would have filmed a second scene with the bra for Comedy Central.

[Kyle Brandt]

You could do it.

[Bill Simmons]

Too big of an edit.

[Joe House]

I know.

[Kyle Brandt]

They changed the shirt from.

[Joe House]

I didn't even know this scene was in the movie until many, many years ago.

[Craig]

But trading places, like, Dan Aykroyd's just sick in bed and for some reason she's just topless taking care of him.

[Joe House]

Yeah, yeah. This is much more plot related.

[Craig]

Yeah, this, like, in theory is story related.

[Joe House]

This is art.

[Bill Simmons]

What's age the worst with Sage the worst. Terry confronting her professor right after overhearing them talk about how hot she is. And he goes, well, you're a pretty girl. You could be a model.

[Kyle Brandt]

That's his recovery. Come on, man.

[Craig]

It's brutal.

[Bill Simmons]

Even for 1985, it's like, come on, man.

[Kyle Brandt]

Brutal.

[Bill Simmons]

The one of the guys song is pretty bad. Yeah, it's One of the guys.

[Joe House]

This is just the joy of being in the 80s. You're like, what's the title of the movie?

[Bill Simmons]

A little Harder maybe.

[Kyle Brandt]

No money for any pop music at all. So they had to make some really bad shit out of Yamaha synthesizer.

[Bill Simmons]

This is a good time.

[Joe House]

Like a preset on the Yamaha.

[Kyle Brandt]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

This is a what stage? The worst. And just let me. Let me land the plane on this. Sherilyn Fenn's 90 rise tying into the legend of the movie now has aged the worst because it's 2026. And Sherilyn Fan I don't think has the same kind of oomph. But when this movie was having its rewatchable kind of renaissance in the 90s, a piece of it was. It was young Sherilyn Fenn who was Twin Peaks. She was in. What was that movie? Three of Hearts or whatever that was. And everybody. All the guys I knew, including myself, were. We loved her. And it was just weird that she was in this movie. And it was like this crazy wrinkle to it. But now nobody cares.

[Joe House]

I think Sherilyn Fenn, because Twin Peaks is an institution. Like people still.

[Bill Simmons]

It still matters. Okay.

[Joe House]

Not in the same way that it did in the 90s, though. I agree.

[Bill Simmons]

Any others? Because I have a couple other quick 1.

[Kyle Brandt]

A classic for which age the worst shirts and skins. It doesn't exist. You're right. I coach youth sports. Different sports. It would be unfathomable to me to go out to these boys and be like, all right, you're the shirts. Take your shirt. Ridiculous. Like, I feel like I'd be arrested.

[Bill Simmons]

You've lost your job. Ten minutes later, we don't need. I heard you did shirts and skins.

[Kyle Brandt]

So you rope my child? Never.

[Joe House]

No surprise jock inspections in your never.

[Kyle Brandt]

And by the way, jockstraps themselves, they were everywhere in the 80s. Revenge of the Nerds has a whole thing Sixteen Candles does. I don't think I've ever worn a jock strap in my life. Ever. I've worn a cup. But, like you would just go to gym, you put a jock on.

[Bill Simmons]

Like.

[Kyle Brandt]

It's very odd thing. Craig again, jock strap.

[Craig]

I wanted to play baseball.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah, baseball like if you're a catcher. Yeah, for a cup. But, like, not like in gym.

[Craig]

No, never. So we weren't showering in gym class, mandatory.

[Kyle Brandt]

We had. We were told we had to do it. Yeah, nobody told we had to do it nude.

[Joe House]

Were you showering in school?

[Bill Simmons]

I mean, not if I could help it.

[Kyle Brandt]

Our gym teacher said to us.

[Bill Simmons]

A bunch of dudes. Yes.

[Kyle Brandt]

And by the way, I remember our gym teacher saying, like, and no bathing suits. This is a nude shower. That was their policy. I'm not kidding. That was just what you did. And we're like, all right. It was so weird. So weird.

[Bill Simmons]

Now they only do it in England.

[Kyle Brandt]

So they do it.

[Bill Simmons]

Sorry, just shots at England.

[Joe House]

Can I hit you with the. What's age the worst?

[Bill Simmons]

I want a couple for me.

[Joe House]

Yeah, okay. Well, I would just say that, like. Like, I think using Tulip as. As your gazeller is like. But there's some other, like, you know, gender commentary stuff in this movie. Some, like, trans commentary stuff that, like, as much as this is maybe, like, helped some people. There's also just trans jokes that haven't aged well, I'd say.

[Bill Simmons]

Has it aged worse than setting up a high school senior in a double date with a sixth grader?

[Joe House]

You know, in just two years, she's gonna make him really happy.

[Bill Simmons]

I didn't understand that in 1985. Now it's like, what's happening? A lot of, why not go 9th grader?

[Joe House]

A lot of girls with braces in this. In this sex comedy.

[Bill Simmons]

Sixth grader is like, what is happening? I just didn't get that at all. I don't know.

[Joe House]

Well, I thought that was just like a bait and switch. She was just like, I have a cousin.

[Bill Simmons]

All right, but you go ninth grader. I don't know.

[Kyle Brandt]

This type of thing has really changed and become way progressive recently. Like, it wasn't that long ago that there was the Olson twins countdown clock and people would just talk about it. There's a clip that goes around of Ashton Kutcher hosting Punk'd and he's like, so we got Hilary Duff here. She's one of those girls we're just waiting till she turns 18. Everyone's like, what the fuck? But that was unpunked. It was no big deal. Like, that was just part of the show. That's changed a lot recently.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

Thank God.

[Bill Simmons]

In sixth grade you're 12, 13, 11 or 12 Heiser. I don't know if this is a what's age the worst or what's age the best, but she Said, I've done a few of these signing conventions where they come in with tons and tons of pictures and not one of my fans has brought that picture to sign. Oh, that's why I truly love my fans. So it's at what stage the best that nobody's done that. It's what's age the worst that it's been her worst fear.

[Joe House]

I feel like throwing that in there. I think that's definitely happened to her. Somewhere someone has brought her that photo.

[Bill Simmons]

And then finally, we might as well. Clayton Rohner conversation now. We've been dancing around it.

[Kyle Brandt]

Dancing like James Brown.

[Bill Simmons]

It's tough.

[Joe House]

What do you want to say?

[Bill Simmons]

Well, this probably was the peak for him. If he's listening, I feel bad, but yeah, it's tough. This character's all over the place.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

Not positive with the.

[Joe House]

I think it's more of a character issue than it is even an acting issue.

[Bill Simmons]

Maybe it's a Rick issue, not a Clayton Rooney issue.

[Joe House]

Yeah, yeah. That's what I mean.

[Kyle Brandt]

One of the archetypes, I think, of the movies is the sensitive new boy in town. Like in Footloose, that's Kevin Bacon, and he pulls it off. But that's just like, we have Bully and, like, the babe with brains and all that. Like, that guy. And they tried really hard, I think. I think the James Brown thing is kind of just a weird whiff. They tried to make him interesting and appealing, but it's not the best part of the movie.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, it's like he's a nerd. But then no nerd would be able to win a fight with Greg Tolan on the beach or do, like, the lunch scene. So he's like a lurking.

[Joe House]

He's like a loner.

[Bill Simmons]

He's more loner. He's like Christian.

[Joe House]

I was gonna say he's not Christian Slater. And Heather's. He doesn't have the Christian Slater. Riz.

[Bill Simmons]

I just don't have a handle on this character.

[Joe House]

Even after 50 watches Andrew McCarthy. Not to bring him up again, but like. Like Andrew McCarthy in this role because he can do. He can do that, like, nermy guy with, like. But he has that. That cocaine gleam. As I like to say about Andrew's dreamy, like.

[Kyle Brandt]

Especially, like, I love another 80s high school staple, the makeover. When you go from totally geek to totally chic. And she just combed his hair differently and put on, like a vest and he was all of a sudden the coolest guy in school. He's handsome as hell.

[Joe House]

Do you feel like we were robbed of the montage. The makeover montage.

[Kyle Brandt]

Totally.

[Joe House]

Yeah, I agree.

[Kyle Brandt]

Totally. There should have been montage. And it's sent to girls. Got something.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, they were. They were shopping at 7:15 in the morning before school.

[Joe House]

They didn't have the budget to go to the mall in Arizona. Are you an airborne guy? The movie Airborne?

[Kyle Brandt]

No.

[Joe House]

Okay.

[Kyle Brandt]

No. Airplane and Airheads. But not airborne.

[Joe House]

But not airborne.

[Kyle Brandt]

No.

[Joe House]

There's a great makeover montage in that. Yeah. Seth Green. It's really good.

[Bill Simmons]

Ruffalo. Hannah Rubenick. Partridge. Overacting. Word. This is.

[Kyle Brandt]

How do you. How do you do this?

[Joe House]

I can't for this movie.

[Bill Simmons]

No, you can.

[Kyle Brandt]

Okay, what do you got?

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know if it's overacting or if it's under acting or if it's. What is this acting? But the teacher is just insane in this movie. Oh, the two scenes.

[Joe House]

The first one.

[Bill Simmons]

And he's like. When he apologizes to her at the end, he's just. I don't know.

[Joe House]

The apology one is so weird because he's like. Like, I'm shipping you and Rick. Are you guys going to be together? I can tell how you feel about him from your article. I'm going to come back to that. But, like, it's just bizarre. It's super weird. Like, did he learn something? Maybe. But he was like. He was like, I can really tell that you care about that guy Rick. Are you. Are you two kids going to work it out? Bizarre?

[Kyle Brandt]

And she goes, how do you know that? And he's like this huge pause.

[Bill Simmons]

He's like, I read your column. I read your article.

[Kyle Brandt]

Come on, man. You say the line. Let's go to lunch.

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

All right.

[Bill Simmons]

Joe, you have a flex.

[Joe House]

I'm doing the Vincent Chase Award. Are we sure this character is actually good at his job? Is Terry a good journalist?

[Kyle Brandt]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

What's our evidence that I had that.

[Kyle Brandt]

For my picking, nits?

[Joe House]

I mean, because what is this to go back to? I read your article. What is this article that she turned in? Like, ostensibly, it's about going undercover as a guy. She won this award. But, like, how much of this article is about this dreamy guy Rick that she has a crush on? Like, what is this?

[Kyle Brandt]

This fan fiction feels like.

[Joe House]

I feel like she won this so that people didn't get sued. I don't know. Like, it's a bizarre thing. And I have no evidence that she's a great writer.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm really glad you brought this up because I was trying to think of, like, the premise of the piece. So Was she trying to expose, like, I had to do this because it's the only way I could enter a conversation.

[Joe House]

No, it's because, like, people's reactions are like. I like what you said about like, like being yourself. And, you know, so it's like how nerds are treated or be yourself. I don't know. It's like a real think piece. Like puff think piece.

[Bill Simmons]

Why didn't we get to see it? Why didn't they do like a mock version of the essay? What do you mean?

[Kyle Brandt]

At the end, when she's on the word processor, we see her lead.

[Joe House]

Yeah. Oh, you have it.

[Kyle Brandt]

It's fucking horrible.

[Joe House]

What do you have?

[Kyle Brandt]

She starts with a question.

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

And she's like, have you ever wondered what it's like to be inside the guy's locker room? She goes, fate forced yours truly to be a teenage boy. Exclamation point. It's the worst garbage you've ever read. It's terrible.

[Joe House]

Okay, so we have our answer.

[Kyle Brandt]

This was your contest winner.

[Joe House]

Is Terry a good journalist? No.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, I have another reason.

[Joe House]

The Arizona school system did not want to get sued or something like that is how she.

[Bill Simmons]

I have another reason to back you up. And I say this as somebody who is a two fingered typist, but really fast. I would be on airplanes typing, and the people in my.

[Kyle Brandt]

Whatever.

[Bill Simmons]

The person I sit next to is like, I can't believe you can type that fast. But I was just like, yeah, she's hunting. Joy Kaiser had never touched a word processor before.

[Joe House]

She's like, she's too busy dancing and being friends with her.

[Bill Simmons]

The worst lead ever. Yeah. I think the answer is she was probably a terrible junior.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yes. And you said to that person next to you on the plane, you're like, look, I'm trying to compare Pearl Jam's no code to Tracy McGrady. You try to type fast. Right? Fucking awesome. Good for you. Type any way you want.

[Bill Simmons]

The CR Thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Ford. Hottest. Take a word. Which people have been clamoring for us to change it to the Rob Mahoney.

[Joe House]

Oh, yeah. Nirvana is bad, actually.

[Bill Simmons]

Nirvana was bad, actually.

[Joe House]

Teen Spirit is bad, actually. I wouldn't disagree.

[Kyle Brandt]

What was it before? CR thinks there was another one.

[Craig]

Stephen A. Smith is what's called.

[Kyle Brandt]

But the CR1's perfect. Yeah. Especially when you do a Harrison Ford movie like you guys just did and you get to ask CR of Luke Wilson could have Carried what Lies Beneath.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, then when Cameron Crowe, without blinking in that seat was like, oh, yeah, he definitely could have. And, like, was, like, bought in. That was when we were like, oh, man.

[Kyle Brandt]

Ciara thinks that Luke Wilson could have had, like, the whip and the hat and all that shit.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. He could have done it all. Could have done it all. What do you have for out of Stake?

[Kyle Brandt]

Paul Thomas Anderson ripped off this movie for Boogie Nights. And it's a whole movie with a character and the character is hiding something. And we're hearing about it, hearing about it. And at the end, the big fucking whip out in the last scene where you're like, whoa. I think Paul Thomas Anderson's a full horndog. He saw this movie. He liked the reveal of Tyler.

[Bill Simmons]

He loved Tyzer.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yes, loved. And it inspired his reveal for Dirk Diggler to say, I'm a star, I'm star, and pull it out in the dressing room. That him, Dirk pulling it out is Terry.

[Bill Simmons]

That's really good.

[Joe House]

Do you think Paul Thomas Anderson and Warren Beatty were at the same screening of Just One of the Guys?

[Kyle Brandt]

I think Warren Beatty had a private screening job.

[Joe House]

Oh, you're right.

[Kyle Brandt]

I really do.

[Joe House]

But in early on, PT is more of a. I rented it again and again because he wants to be able.

[Kyle Brandt]

To rewind, like we all do. There's, like, early on in Boogie Nights, you see, like, close ups of, like, Dirk's crotch and he's like. There's this bulge that he shows. You kind of get that a little bit with Terry. And I think it's that same shock effect in the. Pretty much the last moment of the movie when it's just out.

[Craig]

Damn.

[Bill Simmons]

I really, like. I'm almost in awe of that take. It's great.

[Kyle Brandt]

I think P.T. owes an apology.

[Joe House]

It's scorching. It's a scorching take.

[Bill Simmons]

What do you have, Joe?

[Joe House]

I think. I think Joyce Heiser should have had a bigger career. Not Harrison Ford level, but I think she had. And I think Debbie Mazur took Joyce Heiser's career. That's what I think.

[Kyle Brandt]

Where do you. What Debbie Mazer role? Do you see Joyce Heiser?

[Joe House]

Any of them? Because, like, she's.

[Craig]

She.

[Joe House]

You know, she grew up in. In Queens. Like, she. That sort of, like, real New York girl, like, attitude.

[Kyle Brandt]

Good fellas.

[Joe House]

I would. I would have loved to see that.

[Bill Simmons]

I think the problem for her, there's a little Kurt Warner with her. Like, she was 26 in this movie.

[Joe House]

Yeah, it's true. And when.

[Bill Simmons]

Shelf. Football Reference.

[Joe House]

No, I got it, I got it. But, like, when she made this movie, she said she was offered other teen roles and she's Like, I'm in my late 20s now. What can you give me? She said she auditioned for Brian De Palma for Body Double, I think.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, so when it. Ooh, that would have been interesting. So when it should have happened for her was late 70s, when she was like 21. Should have been laying the grass.

[Joe House]

She was on tour with Bruce on tour of the Boss.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, could she have been the De Mornay part in Risky Business?

[Joe House]

She says she almost got the Terry Garr role in Tootsie. That when Hal Ashby was directing Tootsie.

[Bill Simmons]

I never know when to believe the. If I was an actor, I would say I almost got 20.

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

She's only in movies where people cross dress.

[Joe House]

Like that's her niche.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah, yeah. I don't know about the De Mornay.

[Craig]

I don't know.

[Kyle Brandt]

That's. She goes pretty nuts in that part.

[Joe House]

I would not.

[Bill Simmons]

What do you have? I would not replace the dress.

[Joe House]

No, that's my thing. Joyce Heiser and.

[Bill Simmons]

Wow, that's okay. Yeah, yeah.

[Joe House]

It's a lukewarm take.

[Bill Simmons]

Mine is.

[Kyle Brandt]

Come on, Crow, hop into it.

[Bill Simmons]

I just think Jacoby in this movie, I think it's an all time 80s comedy performance. I think it holds up. I was watching it with my fam and I was laughing at every scene in the lines. And my wife at one point was like, I. You rarely laugh at movies like this. I don't know that. I was like, this kid just hits my. He's just going for it for an hour and a half and it fucking kills me every time. I was trying to think of other movies in the 80s that make me like, Fletch does that for me. Even though I think we all know Chevy Chase is an asshole.

[Joe House]

Sure.

[Bill Simmons]

Eddie Murphy in basically his first three movies, every scene he's in. But not to compare him to people like that. But he makes me laugh like that and I don't really have an explanation for it.

[Joe House]

Real ones know that the 80 comedy trio is Eddie Murphy, Debbie Chase and David Jacoby.

[Kyle Brandt]

Not necessarily in that order either.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, it's lots of meatballs.

[Joe House]

Topless and talented.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, we just stayed on meatballs.

[Kyle Brandt]

It's fine. It's idiotic. It's not my thing.

[Bill Simmons]

Bill Murray's kind of trying to do the. And I'm sure Billy Jacoby probably loved that movie. But Bill Murray's trying to be funny, but half the time it's not hitting. Jacoby's batting average is like 90% in this movie. Every line, everything.

[Joe House]

I just, I really feel like, first of all, I think you should get Jacoby on the pod.

[Bill Simmons]

He should know Billie Jane.

[Kyle Brandt]

I know.

[Joe House]

And secondly, I think you should single handedly like resurrect this guy's career in a post milk manner kind of way.

[Bill Simmons]

There's a reason we call it the hottest take category. But I really. You have batting average in this movie. It would be like when you look at football and you look at the like the highest QB ratings ever or something, all the guys make sense. And then there's this one random like Dante Culpepper. What's he doing here? Yes, that's what I think his stats would be. You'd be looking at the 80s movie reference style. You'd be like, yep, Chevy Chase, Eddie Murphy, Billy Jacoby, 92.7. You're like, wow, what is this?

[Kyle Brandt]

Aaron Brooks on the Saints got really hot for like six weeks. Incredible.

[Bill Simmons]

I just think the advanced metrics left him.

[Kyle Brandt]

It's not enough to say that he's cooking this movie. He's. He's at Benihana throwing shrimp into your mouth and doing the onion volcano and making the beating heart and catching the egg in his hat. Like he's doing all the tricks.

[Joe House]

Yeah, it's so fun. He's really good.

[Bill Simmons]

Cassidy, what ifs Jennifer Jason Lee went for the lead. Heiser said she got it over.

[Joe House]

I don't think Jennifer Jason Lee is right for that role.

[Bill Simmons]

Do you want to see her as Terry?

[Kyle Brandt]

No, I don't think so.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't like it. Rohner said he beat out James Legros.

[Kyle Brandt]

Oh, that's from Point Break.

[Joe House]

That would have been much better.

[Kyle Brandt]

Roach. He's a good actor.

[Joe House]

He was the original Raylan Givens, the first one.

[Bill Simmons]

Best that guy award. Probably Clayton Rohner I.

[Joe House]

The one of the nerd guys.

[Kyle Brandt]

I know who you're saying.

[Joe House]

Ari.

[Kyle Brandt]

Ari Gross.

[Joe House]

Yes. Ari Gross.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yes.

[Joe House]

Because he was on ellen for like 900 years.

[Kyle Brandt]

You know what I think of Ari Gross? He's the guy in the opening scene of Minority Report who's gonna kill his wife.

[Joe House]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

And Tom Crush stops him and puts the cuff on him.

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

That guy was like, oh, I know him. Yeah, I don't know his name, but I do now.

[Bill Simmons]

Clayton Roner, 90210 episode.

[Joe House]

Which one? No, no, which one?

[Bill Simmons]

Dylan. When Dylan's drinking again, Season five.

[Kyle Brandt]

Oh, I drink it hard too.

[Bill Simmons]

One of the best eight episode cycles in the history of television.

[Joe House]

Oh, yeah, of course.

[Kyle Brandt]

I love that. Dylan does.

[Bill Simmons]

Finally tries heroin and drives off a mountain, almost dies and is in the hospital. Clayton Roan or the doctor.

[Kyle Brandt]

Oh, really? See, he's been at every show.

[Joe House]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

Good for him. Throwing jabs at Dylan, trying to wake him up.

[Joe House]

He's a real 90210 face. You know what I mean?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. I'm surprised he wasn't in there. More DM Waiters Award. The Trekkies.

[Joe House]

Yeah. Or the guy with all the animals. The reptile.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, reptile guy.

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

It's hard to pick one because Jacoby doesn't qualify and all the attention goes to him.

[Joe House]

Them but 80s nerds. I mean, we've talked about this before, but, like, the. This era of, like, what we think a nerd is, is just like such a funny. Capture time in a bottle.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, yeah. Now, if somebody brought reptiles in the high school, he'd probably be expelled.

[Kyle Brandt]

He has a lizard and iguana in the shower.

[Joe House]

But it's also like Trekkies don't think they're aliens from Mars. You know what I mean? It's just sort of like nerds were like the Saved by the Bell nerds. Like, it's just like a different kind of. And it's its own clownery.

[Bill Simmons]

What do you have for recasting? Couch. Director of City or. You already did it.

[Joe House]

I would do City and I would put us in la.

[Bill Simmons]

Like Santa Monica.

[Joe House]

Yeah, Santa Monica.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay. What do you have?

[Kyle Brandt]

For some reason in this category, my mind always goes to Fincher. I don't know why. I always want to say David Fincher's.

[Joe House]

Just one of the guys.

[Kyle Brandt]

When Buddy finally has sex, though, he has to do it with a blade attached to his dick. It's just something absolutely disgusting and disturbing. I don't know what it is, but I always go to Fincher. I'd like to see his take on it.

[Joe House]

It. Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

I was thinking, could Patrick Dempsey have also been Rick in this movie?

[Kyle Brandt]

Like Ronnie?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Like, did. Did we need to go more nerdy? Where it was more rags to riches than Clayton Roner, who just seemed. Everyone in this movie is too old. That's another issue. Except for Billy Jacobe, who's the perfect age. Yeah, but. But did we need somebody who was. You want Dempsey or somebody of that from that era?

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah, I like the Dempsey call. And they do more work making him a nerd. He's lawnmower boy.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, like that.

[Joe House]

That's.

[Kyle Brandt]

He's actually mowing the lawn for me. Yeah.

[Craig]

If you want to up the acting ability just a little bit on Joyce. Sandra Bullock would be 19 when this movie came out.

[Joe House]

Absolutely not.

[Craig]

Why not?

[Joe House]

Sandy can't. She can't Pass as a guy.

[Craig]

Miss Congeniality. What are you talking. I mean, like, she has that tomboy nature to her. That is like. I feel like she's perfect for that.

[Joe House]

Her features, though, like, I don't think her features.

[Craig]

Pre nose job. Sandra. She has it.

[Joe House]

I love Love Potion number nine.

[Kyle Brandt]

Allegedly.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

What about. What about. I mean, Demise sitting right there. We know she likes the short haircut.

[Bill Simmons]

No way.

[Joe House]

The gig. Right off St. Almost fire. Demi Moore.

[Kyle Brandt]

Come on.

[Bill Simmons]

It's pretty good. What do you have for your flex?

[Craig]

I did the. It's the book about metals exchange.

[Kyle Brandt]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Craig]

Sleeping with my Mom's Friend. And no one acknowledged that.

[Kyle Brandt]

I'm glad you brought that up. Imagine this movie. We don't mention that. Liz and I both just looked at.

[Craig]

Each other like, what did he just say?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, Half ass Internet research. We covered most of this. The original title was I was a Teenage Boy. I got to get rid of that.

[Craig]

That was the name of the article, right?

[Bill Simmons]

We have. Yes. And we talked about award winning article.

[Joe House]

Grant, please.

[Bill Simmons]

The Ralph Macchio thing. That's what they were going for, right? Clayton Rohner is still upset about that they didn't use his fall over the fence, that they used the stunt double. He didn't think it was good enough. He said he did one himself. That was really good.

[Joe House]

How many Clayton Rohner interviews?

[Bill Simmons]

He did a lot of interviews. You know, he did really.

[Kyle Brandt]

Street fights for the rest of your life.

[Bill Simmons]

He also said that every time it showed on cable, they would get 17 cents and it paid well for a while.

[Kyle Brandt]

Great.

[Joe House]

Yeah. The director said she got fat residual checks for a long time.

[Bill Simmons]

And then Paramount prevented them from being called Trekkies. The Trekkies. So they were Trekkies. But not actually saying there.

[Kyle Brandt]

I get it. Right.

[Bill Simmons]

And then Billy Jane was. I'm just gonna read this quote. This is from like 10 years ago.

[Kyle Brandt]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

After the thing, Joe saw the whatever. When they all got together, he said, I started thinking of the sequel. We had a couple drinks that night, got a little hammered. Now, I know I came up with a great one, but don't know if anyone wrote it down. Talking about his idea. She goes into a newspaper thing and Zabka comes back and he's gonna buy out the paper. And now she has to go back undercover and do something. And the next thing he says is, I have three ex wives to basically say like, hey, I come up with weird ideas, but I'm a mess. So he ends that pitch with I have three ex wives.

[Joe House]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

So Billy Jacoby.

[Kyle Brandt]

What A great. He's still got it. He's still got it.

[Joe House]

So at that panel, they introduced everyone before the screening. So that's on the video. He's not there, and then they do the screening and then they're like, hey, it was there. And he walks in with, like, a scotch in his hand, so.

[Kyle Brandt]

Oh, really?

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

It might have been an action pack. 30 years for him.

[Joe House]

Yeah. So, you know, three ex wives and I get blackout drunk at a 30th anniversary screening. I've heard worse, guys.

[Kyle Brandt]

I've heard worse.

[Joe House]

MILF manor time.

[Bill Simmons]

So I think we might have to give him a ring or podcast.

[Joe House]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Jacoby, Jacoby and Jacoby.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah, it's Jacoby, though. Yeah, that's really good.

[Bill Simmons]

Apex Mountain. Every actor in the movie and the director.

[Joe House]

Not Sherilyn Fenn.

[Bill Simmons]

Not Sherilyn Fenn.

[Joe House]

Not Sherilyn Fenn.

[Bill Simmons]

Not Sherilyn Fenn. Every actor but Sherilyn Fenn.

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

What's fun about the movie is they're all like kind of no names. Like, there's no one coming in, really, where you're like, oh, that guy's caring. I didn't know any of these people. Right.

[Joe House]

But that's. That the movie would have a different legacy if, like, Downey's in it. You know, Sherilyn Fenn is here as your point, but it's like Downey's randomly here or something like that. You're like, oh, my God, have you seen that?

[Bill Simmons]

Downey as Rick?

[Joe House]

Downey as Rick. Very different energy.

[Bill Simmons]

Different energy. Apex Mountain,'80s high school movies. I'd love to say yes, but no. No funny teenage boy characters in 80s movies.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

Jacoby's.

[Craig]

Wait, wait, wait. Funny teenage boys in 80s, number one. Is he the best teenage boy in an 80s movie?

[Bill Simmons]

Funniest.

[Kyle Brandt]

Funniest.

[Joe House]

Have you not been listening? He loves this guy.

[Kyle Brandt]

He's much funnier than Ferris Bueller.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, he's. Oh, Ferris Bueller is a good one.

[Kyle Brandt]

But he's not funnier than Buddy.

[Joe House]

He's just.

[Kyle Brandt]

He's a cooler guy.

[Joe House]

I mean, I wouldn't put him at.

[Bill Simmons]

Any Mountain, but he's really good.

[Kyle Brandt]

He's great.

[Joe House]

This is Bill's thing. This is your guy.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, I love him, but I don't want to put him above Ferris.

[Kyle Brandt]

But in Funniest, he's funnier than Ferris. Ferris is the leading man. And Cooler.

[Bill Simmons]

Batting average is higher.

[Kyle Brandt]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

What about Jacoby's? So our nominees are Jacoby Jones and the Ravens. Who caught the famous pass? Dave Jacoby. Jacoby Brissette or Jacoby Ellsbury?

[Joe House]

What about Jacoby Jacoby and Myers? Or is that just like Jacoby Myers? Yeah, yeah.

[Craig]

Jacoby Ellsberg is pretty good. I like that one.

[Kyle Brandt]

Jacoby Jones had a kick return in the super bowl right before the blackout for a touchdown. That's a pretty big moment. And he's no longer with us.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm going to say Dave Jacoby.

[Joe House]

I will also say Dave Jacoby based on the, like, wall of text, like all caps rants that we get from him on whatever TV show he's currently watching. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Cruz or Hanks?

[Joe House]

It's Cruz.

[Bill Simmons]

Which part? Rick.

[Joe House]

Greg Tolan.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah. I'd like to see Cruise in those gloves.

[Joe House]

Yeah, the gloves, lifting tables, lighting that.

[Kyle Brandt]

Losing it era where he's making bad choices in the high school movies. I wrote down either Cruz as Zabka or I wrote Hanks as Buddy.

[Joe House]

Sure.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

What about Hanks as Rick?

[Kyle Brandt]

Rick is dreamy. Tom Hanks is not dreamy. He's a lot of things. I think he has to be kind of dreamy.

[Bill Simmons]

You good with Cruz? Okay. Scorsese or Spielberg?

[Joe House]

It's Scorsese. I want to see Martin Scorsese just like you want to see Fincher's just running out. I want to see Martin Scorsese just running the guy.

[Kyle Brandt]

I think it has to be. I can't have Spielberg close to this much sex.

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

He would take Buddy, and instead of being obsessed with boobs, he'd be like, buddy's into dinosaurs. It would suck. Like, yeah, too much sex for Spielberg.

[Joe House]

So for Scorsese, we're not having brewskis after school. We're doing coke.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

The college boyfriend's definitely doing bumps.

[Joe House]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

He's just like, where's Terry? Yes.

[Craig]

I appreciate all the high. The casual high school beer drinking. Like they get home after the day. Like they're like 45 year old construction workers.

[Kyle Brandt]

Like, yeah.

[Craig]

You want a beer?

[Joe House]

Yeah. We're not having Sunny D. We're having a.

[Craig]

It's like a Tuesday, so. You want a beer?

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah, yeah. No, I'm at soccer practice. I can't have a beer. What are you talking about? I got homework.

[Bill Simmons]

It's a brewski. New category.

[Kyle Brandt]

Uh. Oh, here we go.

[Joe House]

Best.

[Bill Simmons]

Best hang. Worst hang. Best hang in the movie. Worst hang in the movie.

[Joe House]

I think we know your answer for best hang.

[Bill Simmons]

I think Terry's a pretty good hang.

[Joe House]

When Terry comes home drunk from the cave and she sees her shitty boyfriend there and she goes, bummer. Yeah, she's really Good. She goes upstairs to come down, she's all drunk and she's like, hey, I have worst hang.

[Bill Simmons]

Terry's boyfriend Kevin.

[Joe House]

Kevin who just like Kevin who shows up and just drinks wine with her 15 year old brother who's doing his algebra homework and trying to hit on a girl.

[Bill Simmons]

This guy's deal, he's in college and he's like 30.

[Kyle Brandt]

I know, I know. It's a terrible character by the way.

[Bill Simmons]

College. Is he going to. Is he going to like ASU.

[Joe House]

Lee McCloskey who plays Kevin, you know his name has been on a bunch of soap operas like every so popular.

[Kyle Brandt]

He looks like it.

[Joe House]

Santa Barbara, Dallas, but also General Hospital multiple times Days of our Lives. But if you go to his Wikipedia page, it's just all about how he's a visual artist. Like he has clearly done a hard edit on his own Wikipedia page. And it's all about how he's a visual artist and all of his credits. And then at the bottom you get his like filmography.

[Kyle Brandt]

Oh really?

[Joe House]

But it's just like a couple paragraphs.

[Kyle Brandt]

Of like sources not verified. I bet it's all his ass changing it. All right, it's fine.

[Bill Simmons]

I want to see. You know when you go to bury.

[Joe House]

Like just one of the guys or.

[Kyle Brandt]

Whatever and here we are talking about.

[Joe House]

Every other person in movie. It's like the top of their. Yeah, best known. Best known for this.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

So when you go to his IMDb and they do the known for.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Which almost should be a category for us. Known for movies.

[Kyle Brandt]

Well you remember you used to do the hall of fame plaque. Like that was the category known for.

[Bill Simmons]

Because it's basically there IMDb Mount Rushmore. So for him it's Inferno. Star Trek Voyager 1 episode. Just one of the guys in Star Trek deep Space 91 episode.

[Joe House]

No, but see that's the thing is like, like it's with love and respect to all algorithms. No IMDb's top four because it should be Dallas. He was like a recurring on Dallas and on and he was on a million episodes of Santa Barbara. So I never watched those shows. But like it shouldn't be one episode of Star Trek Voyager for this guy.

[Bill Simmons]

Life goes on. Jake and the fat man.

[Kyle Brandt]

Life goes on.

[Bill Simmons]

He was in Dallas. Hamburger. The motion picture Love Boats. Five episodes, played five different characters.

[Kyle Brandt]

Incredible movie called Hamburger.

[Bill Simmons]

Fall guy. Heart to Heart. Buck Rogers. This guy was cranking it. Yeah, great job by him.

[Joe House]

Great job by Lee McCloskey.

[Bill Simmons]

Picking nits. Here we go. So why was Terry with the college guy? What was it about him?

[Joe House]

Oh, status. Right.

[Craig]

Just.

[Bill Simmons]

He had a car.

[Joe House]

Why was. Why was she dating, like, the quarterback, Elle woods with her shitty boyfriend at the beginning of League?

[Craig]

I bet you they were dating when she was a junior, he was a senior. Continued dating.

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

You think he went to her high school?

[Joe House]

But I actually think she was like a freshman and he was a senior. You know, like that.

[Kyle Brandt]

Well, listen, she's sophisticated.

[Bill Simmons]

Sixth grader.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah, or a sixth grader. Everything's in play with this movie.

[Bill Simmons]

You don't know. All right, we gotta talk about it. So, Terri, it's April, senior year.

[Joe House]

It's like two weeks.

[Bill Simmons]

Nobody's talking about college. And she just leaves school for two.

[Joe House]

Weeks and enrolls in a different school.

[Bill Simmons]

Other high school. Which, by the way, seems like it's about. About four minutes away from this high school. Nobody knows her. Nobody in the other high school knows her. Even though she's obviously one of the most attractive person the other high school is a guy just enrolls right away, takes classes, is there for two weeks and then leaves and just goes back to the other high school.

[Kyle Brandt]

How does she register at the attendance office?

[Craig]

Maybe just don't, you know, you don't have to go.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah, who cares? What are they gonna do?

[Joe House]

Do you feel like they should have made Buddy like a Ferris Bueller esque. Like I can change the school records from my computer at home, Guy.

[Bill Simmons]

Don't the parents have to sign off?

[Kyle Brandt]

If you're. Of course.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, she just makes it seem like she's, you know, like switching tires or something.

[Joe House]

Preposterous.

[Bill Simmons]

So it's really about it.

[Kyle Brandt]

Like she's going to a different mall in the next town. Like, you can't do that.

[Bill Simmons]

Now, granted, we're in a world where the. The movies that came out just in this vicinity, Breakfast Club. Emilio Estes shatters all the glass by screaming when there's dancing in the Jabez. Weird science that make a girl out of a computer. It's not like we were realistic all over the place here. Ferris Bueller. Nothing that happened. Ferris Bueller's leading the he's on the parade twist and shout out. Yeah, so we were bending it here.

[Kyle Brandt]

We're all thinking it when we're watching it. How does she get registered at that school? That doesn't make sense.

[Joe House]

She needs a hacker friend. One singular hacker friend.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah, the hacker friend. Nine times. That scene where Ferris changes. Yeah, that's what you're talking about. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Why did Buddy dime her out to the boyfriend? She comes and he's Like, I'm gonna kill you. And she's like, all right, I'm gonna tell you, but you gotta take me. He's been so loyal to helping her with the story. And then he just lets.

[Joe House]

No, but he likes chaos. Cause sometimes he just let Sherilyn Fenn in. You know what I mean? Like, he likes some guys.

[Bill Simmons]

So he knows there's dressed up girls at the prom and just wants to go.

[Joe House]

Basically, yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

Cause notice he shows up to the prom in his tuxedo T shirt.

[Joe House]

Oh, my God.

[Kyle Brandt]

Like, it's fishing a barrel there. But also Kevin's. You can tell me now or tell me in the hospital. Like, it's a pretty big threat. So I think Billy or Buddy finally f. Okay. Great line delivery on Kevin, too.

[Joe House]

I love when he was like. She's like, telling him to wait in the car. He's like, I've tried that. He doesn't enjoy waiting in cars.

[Kyle Brandt]

It's a whole comedy.

[Bill Simmons]

What other nitpicks do you have?

[Kyle Brandt]

I understand that they're trying to make Terry thoughtful and intellectual. There's no high school senior girl who has a giant poster of Ernest Hemingway on her wall. What are we doing here? It has huge, huge scenery. It's like one of these places, Bill. One of these posters here. But.

[Bill Simmons]

But huge.

[Kyle Brandt]

And Hemingway looks pissed and like old and bald. Like, it's just. It's a terrible, terrible poster.

[Bill Simmons]

Terrible.

[Joe House]

I agree. And that wouldn't be Terry's idol anyway.

[Bill Simmons]

You would have.

[Joe House]

She mentions Woodward and Bernstein. Like, could we have a Woodward and Bernstein post Springsteen?

[Bill Simmons]

You would have Duran Duran. You would have all that. And it would be all that stuff.

[Kyle Brandt]

This is also Apex Mountain right now for, like, high school posters. Like, Ferris famously has the Simple Minds poster. It's so cool. Come on. Him with the Hemingway. Enough. Enough. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Weird Science. We had that, too. There were good posters.

[Kyle Brandt]

Great posters.

[Bill Simmons]

Anything for you.

[Joe House]

Nitpicks beyond the entire premise of the movie. No.

[Bill Simmons]

Nobody from the other high school knowing Terry is a. Kind of a good knit.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I just feel like that this is not. She's not in.

[Joe House]

Like, Sherilyn Fenn trailed her. We don't know for how long. Right, Right.

[Kyle Brandt]

But the people at the other school, they do know Terry, but they. Terry is a girl to them. They buy completely that this is some dude. They don't think it's.

[Bill Simmons]

The people in her high school be like, where's Terry? Has she been kidnapped?

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah.

[Joe House]

Do you think her teachers would be like, do you think her teacher was like, you should be a model Is like, huh. I wonder if it was because I said, you should be a model. She just disappeared for the next two weeks.

[Bill Simmons]

Terry went to do porn in California. She's gone. Sequel, Prequel. Prestige, tbl. Blackcaster. Untouchable. Clearly, this is an untouchable.

[Joe House]

Do you know about Just One of the Girls?

[Kyle Brandt]

No.

[Joe House]

So there's a direct to video, Corey Haim and Nicole Eggert film.

[Kyle Brandt]

All right, you got my attention.

[Bill Simmons]

How did I not see this?

[Joe House]

Called Just One of the Girls. And then it was renamed Anything for Love. But it's not a. Like actual. But he. Corey Hay dresses a girl. A girl to be on the cheerleading team. I think it is. Or something.

[Bill Simmons]

I think I blocked this out in my mind.

[Kyle Brandt]

And he gets with Nicole.

[Bill Simmons]

I feel like I've seen this.

[Kyle Brandt]

I mean, blown away. That's that. That type of era. I've never heard of this movie.

[Joe House]

1993, direct to video. Just One of the girls.

[Bill Simmons]

Direct to video. Say no More.

[Joe House]

Yes, Direct to video. Corey Haim. 1993, say no More.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, blown Away, which is pretty pushed in the envelope.

[Kyle Brandt]

Not the Tommy Lee Jones one.

[Bill Simmons]

No, that one.

[Joe House]

The other one.

[Kyle Brandt]

Superior one.

[Bill Simmons]

A Corey Feldman performance that is in the running for one of the funniest performances anyone's ever done.

[Joe House]

Nicole Eggert. The queen and director is Nicole Eggert.

[Bill Simmons]

He is out of his mind in that movie.

[Joe House]

Is there anyone in the 90s more direct to video than Nicole Eggert?

[Bill Simmons]

Like Corey Haim.

[Kyle Brandt]

Nicole Eggert's One of my Goats. She was like one of my goats.

[Joe House]

Yeah. The queen of the direct to video.

[Bill Simmons]

I almost want you to watch Blown Away with Corey Haim and Nicole Eggert. It's got to be. First of all, it has to be on tubi.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

I watched an entire movie the other night with Helen Slater from Legend of Billie Jean.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah.

[Joe House]

Supergirl.

[Bill Simmons]

Billy Zane. And it was. It was like. And there was one other person in it, but it was like, Billy Zane is a doctor and she falls for him. But bad stuff started. It's basically like a Lifetime movie.

[Kyle Brandt]

You watched the whole thing.

[Bill Simmons]

And it was one of the worst movies I've ever seen in my life. And it was written by Robbie Benson and his wife. Yeah.

[Joe House]

The voice of the beast himself. Robbie Benson.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Joe House]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

And it was.

[Kyle Brandt]

Look at you.

[Bill Simmons]

It was just really, really terrible. I just want to point that out. Is this movie better with wayne Jenkins or 40 other people? Kyle always has something here.

[Kyle Brandt]

I struggled really hard. I was trying to find one. And then, you know, what happened?

[Joe House]

What happened?

[Kyle Brandt]

And I listened to the. What lies Beneath podcast, and CR gave us Fergie the Florist. And I'm like, I fucking love this. I think Fergie the florist is the editor of the newspaper. And the article is so successful that he wants her to do another one. And she's like, no, I'm not doing that anymore. And he looks at her and he goes, you're gonna do this for me or I'm gonna clip your tits like I clipped your mummy. If there's a heaven, Terry, she ain't in it. So fucking cr. Thank you so much for bringing Fergie the Florist to this pod. I'm laughing out loud listening to him do what lies beneath. And I had nothing for this category, and this is one of my categories. And I'm like, fucking Fergie is the editor just cutting roses and grading papers and doing newspapers. And he wants her to do it again. And that's why Terry's mom is gone. She's actually in deep with Fergie the Florist. There's been a whole terrible thing that happened. That's what I want.

[Bill Simmons]

I thought for sure you were going to go Tony Romo there. Well, Jim, she's going to try to be a guy in another high school, but it's going to be hard, Jim. We'll see if she can do it. Just one Oscar. Who gets it? Not only is Billy Jacoby the answer, of course I looked at the best actor in a sport. Did you?

[Kyle Brandt]

I did, yes.

[Bill Simmons]

Don Amici wins for Cocoon. We have William Hickey for Pretzy's Honor, Robert Loggia for Jagged Edge. I can't. How does he get nominated for that? Have you seen Jacket Loggia? No, I've not seen Jagged Edge. Eric Roberts for Runaway Train and Klaus Maria Brandauer for Out of Africa. I feel like that category was wide open.

[Kyle Brandt]

When's the Pretzy's Honor pod? When are we doing that?

[Joe House]

I would love to do Pretzy's honor, but by the way, Cocoon put some respect on Cocoons.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, Cocoon's of course.

[Kyle Brandt]

But I'm just know my guy, Don Ameci.

[Bill Simmons]

Winning is.

[Joe House]

Don't. Winning is. Felt like a career win, though. Thanks for your service, Don Amici. Here's. Here's an Oscar.

[Bill Simmons]

Unanswerable questions. So she goes back to the other high school.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

They let her, like, make up her work. Like, how does that. How does that part work?

[Joe House]

I mean, as far as I could tell, the only class she went to is PE So I don't know, but she's so smart. She's a really good journalist, so I'm sure she could just. Just crush it.

[Kyle Brandt]

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a boy?

[Joe House]

Tough.

[Kyle Brandt]

You got to go back and see that lead. If you really like this movie. It's horrific.

[Joe House]

Really tough. Carrie Bradshaw would never. Any other.

[Bill Simmons]

Any other answerables?

[Joe House]

No.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay, what piece of memorabilia would you want or not want?

[Kyle Brandt]

Billy's. The Billy Zapka bullying gloves. I want them so fucking bad, Bill. You go through those websites sometimes. If you find those gloves, can you please get them for me?

[Bill Simmons]

I had Greg Tolan's fight clubs.

[Kyle Brandt]

Come on, baby.

[Bill Simmons]

So after the movie ended, I asked my son what should be my answer for this category? And he's like, what do you mean? The gloves? I couldn't believe I even asked.

[Kyle Brandt]

They're so great.

[Joe House]

I'm going with the tube socks, though. I think it's the. If you were like, these are the.

[Bill Simmons]

Tube socks, probably would wash them from.

[Joe House]

Just one of the guys. The tube socks.

[Kyle Brandt]

And they're like. They're huge. The biggest tube socks I've ever seen.

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Coach Finstock Award, which is now The Coach Finstock Mr. Miyagi Award for best or worst life lesson. I went with it's okay to transfer schools, dress up like a boy, and ruin multiple lives just to win a newspaper contest would be the lesson. I don't know if that's a good one or a bad one.

[Joe House]

Whose life was ruined? Don't you feel like everyone had some personal.

[Bill Simmons]

Greg Toland's life might have been ruined?

[Joe House]

I think he got back together with that mom.

[Bill Simmons]

You think he got back together with the prom queen?

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah, I think Bruce Springsteen's life was ruined because he lost her to Warren Beatty after this movie. And you're never going back.

[Joe House]

Tough.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, that's true. Well, I was. Because I just saw that Bruce Springsteen movie with the bear when he plays.

[Joe House]

Short Bruce Springsteen starring the bear.

[Bill Simmons]

Tiny Bruce Springsteen. He's tiny Bruce the bear himself.

[Joe House]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

But it's all about how he wrote Nebraska. But he was dating our girl Joyce during this. Allegedly. From the research, Matt.

[Kyle Brandt]

And no one plays Joyce in Springsteen movies. That'd be awesome.

[Bill Simmons]

Nobody plays Joyce.

[Kyle Brandt]

I've not seen it. I just. I think that the. In this movie, that Coach Fin, like, the gym coach, the bowler guy is like store brand Coach Finstock. Like, he's kind of doing some of the same thing. But, I mean, listen, Horny will kick embarrassment's ass anytime. He's like, sew that on a pillow. Like, that's incredible.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, you're right.

[Joe House]

That's the best lesson. All balls itch. It's a fact.

[Kyle Brandt]

Fucking awesome.

[Bill Simmons]

That is a good life lesson.

[Joe House]

Just important to know.

[Bill Simmons]

What do you have for double feature choice? Would you go, she's the man?

[Joe House]

We have the same, don't we?

[Kyle Brandt]

I think we do.

[Joe House]

Yeah, we do. It's Soul Man.

[Kyle Brandt]

Here we go. We finally landed on Soul Man.

[Joe House]

It's C. Tom's Howell and Soul Man.

[Bill Simmons]

Van's been pushing for Soul Man.

[Joe House]

The deeply problematic things you do for Academic Pursuit.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't even think it's streaming.

[Joe House]

They buried it.

[Bill Simmons]

I think it's one of those where C. Thomas Howe's like, I'm gonna use half of my savings. Yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

Can I tell you something? Once years ago, I got to meet C. Thomas Hall. We met him on a TV show, comes down as a guest, and Nate Burleson and I at the time were like, oh, my God, we gotta talk to you about Soul man off the air. Because, like, holy shit. Cause and he was obviously, like, kind of embarrassed and down it. But he's like, I will tell you one thing. Everybody in that fucking town wanted that role. And every single actor of my age fought for it and wanted it. And when I got that role, it was a huge, huge deal. And then it became what it became. But he kind of shook his head a little bit, but didn't make the point that, like, I got it. But all these other guys who don't get asked about that movie wanted it badly, and guys who are still major movie stars to this day. So I kind of respected that.

[Joe House]

Then. Yeah. I will just say that I believe Comedy Central legitimately did do double feature soul because Soul man ran on Comedy Central in the 90s. Like, it wasn't.

[Kyle Brandt]

I had this written down, too. Craig, do you know what Soul man is? Do you know the premise?

[Craig]

Blackface movie?

[Kyle Brandt]

Yes.

[Craig]

Yeah. That's all I know.

[Kyle Brandt]

See, Thomas Howe needs a scholarship.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't think blackface movie is giving enough credit.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like skipping over.

[Kyle Brandt]

It's harsh because we're doing a lot of body swap. Right. And then in this movie, we do gender swap. And then they're like, just fucking full race swap.

[Joe House]

And. And it's.

[Kyle Brandt]

It's Julie Louis Dreyfus is in it.

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

James Earl Jones is like, the area.

[Bill Simmons]

Radon shower.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah. Radon shot. It's like. It's a disaster.

[Bill Simmons]

I saw it in the theater.

[Kyle Brandt]

You did? You went and saw. I mean, I think a Lot of people did.

[Bill Simmons]

I mean, I saw everything in the theater, but yeah, it was. It was my only other. The trailer was good for it. It was like. People were like, oh, this will be really funny.

[Joe House]

My only other non. If C. Thomas Howell has successfully destroyed every copy of Soul Man.

[Kyle Brandt]

I know. Such a good movie.

[Joe House]

What about Summer School? Mark Harmon, Summer School. I love that movie.

[Kyle Brandt]

Summer School's fantastic. Love it. Mr. Shoop.

[Bill Simmons]

That's on your list.

[Kyle Brandt]

Chainsaw and Bob? It is on my list. Yeah.

[Joe House]

You know, like, I was thinking about, like, the. The Trekkie nerds and stuff like that. Like, it's just very like Summer School.

[Kyle Brandt]

Chainsaw and dates.

[Joe House]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I had camp. I mean, love. Because it takes us from one side of the mid-80s to the other. We go from 85 to 87 with bass good. Same kind of premise. And then can't buy me love. 80s movies end with Can't Buy Me Love. Then we move into the late 80s and it just gets different and weird.

[Kyle Brandt]

And it's come up a lot on this pod. I broke the rule of this category. I'm just going to do a quadruple feature because In April of 85, all four of these movies were in theaters at the same time. Just one of the guys, Girls Just Want to have Fun, which I love. The sure Thing and the Breakfast Club. That's April of 85.

[Craig]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

See, this is why my generation rules.

[Joe House]

One thing that they love to brag about, the people who made this film, is that when it came out, there was no ad money for it from Columbia because they put all their money behind the John Travolta disaster. Perfect. And Perfect absolutely tanked. And just one of the guys didn't do super well, but it won the box office. And they were like, Columbia did not support us at all. They put all their money on this shitty John Travolta movie and it failed and we won. So that's their bragging rights. We beat Perfect is Perfect Glory.

[Kyle Brandt]

He's doing the aerobics.

[Joe House]

Yeah. The thrusting great gifts on Perfect. Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

When you call him Perfect Shitty really hurt my feelings.

[Kyle Brandt]

Bill likes Perfect. We talked about it.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't.

[Kyle Brandt]

He's a journalist again. Right. Just like this movie.

[Bill Simmons]

I think it's. It's another drama that's now a comedy movie.

[Joe House]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

It's in the Regarding Henry area.

[Joe House]

Okay. Well, I love. I love and defend Regarding Henry. So I will stand with you on.

[Bill Simmons]

This hilarious movie to rewatch. And it has one of the funniest closing credits sequences that they didn't realize was funny. It's each of them doing aerobics and they show them one at a time. And they're doing this online. Yeah. It's like, what's the premise? It's unironic.

[Joe House]

What's the premise in Perfect? That matches the premise regarding Henry, which is having a traumatic brain injury can make you nice. Which is the premise of one of my favorite Harrison Ford films.

[Bill Simmons]

Regarding Henry in Perfect, I haven't seen it in a while, but he falls in love with Jamie Lee Curtis, who's an aerobic instructor who blew the whistle on like her swimming coach and then wanted to live a peaceful life as an aerobics instructor. Travolta is doing a thing about aerobics.

[Kyle Brandt]

It's a new single scene.

[Bill Simmons]

Right as the new single scene. Rolling Stone decides this isn't sexy enough. We need more. What about this girl? And they put the whole sex scandal thing in there. In it. He doesn't know about it and he ends up. Her life gets destroyed. And that's kind of the movie.

[Kyle Brandt]

Okay.

[Joe House]

With a lot of like, uncomfortable eye contact.

[Bill Simmons]

And then he clicks stone and yells at Jan Wenner, who's playing himself.

[Kyle Brandt]

Really?

[Joe House]

Jan Wenner plays himself in that one?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, Werner plays himself.

[Joe House]

Okay, I'll let.

[Bill Simmons]

This is drama that's now a comedy. I'm in Jan Wenner as lines just.

[Joe House]

When I thought it was out.

[Bill Simmons]

And then at the end. Well, it has one of those things where they write the scene and they take his notes and they write a much worse story about so. And it's really mean. So then it has all the people reading the story and getting bummed out.

[Joe House]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

And then he feels bad about the. That jam. Lee Curtis won't talk to him. It's really bad. Like it's like career. Like Travolta's career wasn't the same for nine years after the movie.

[Kyle Brandt]

Jesus. It bombed.

[Bill Simmons]

Like he. It was it. He bombed.

[Kyle Brandt]

And the credits, it's like. Like Predator credits. Like, what the hell is this that I'm watching?

[Bill Simmons]

And it's also like Rolling Stone thinking, this. This would be good for us. We should do this show. Yer, like why the 80s were so great. We. Everyone was just doing cocaine and some of bad decisions. Who won the movie?

[Kyle Brandt]

Billy Jacoby.

[Joe House]

Billy Jacoby.

[Kyle Brandt]

I think Billy Jacoby and Warren Beatty.

[Bill Simmons]

Here we go.

[Craig]

I think Bill said before we started recording, craig, if you don't like this movie I'm making, you leave my house immediately.

[Kyle Brandt]

Go on.

[Craig]

Look, I can respect time and place. I can respect 14 year old horny Kyle and Bill.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah.

[Craig]

Loving this and this. And there's no Internet in 1985 or 1990, wherever you saw this movie and it meant a lot to you and that's what you took with it for the rest of your life. And now you look back on it fondly. I like the movie accepted. I don't think there's any nudity in that movie. But Joanna thought, it's terrible. But I saw it when I was 12.

[Joe House]

I just had to get one. The movie you love is terrible. And Craig, I owe you.

[Craig]

What do you want me to say?

[Bill Simmons]

Did you make.

[Joe House]

He was never gonna let you.

[Bill Simmons]

Did you watch it with Liz?

[Craig]

I did.

[Bill Simmons]

Was Liz horrified?

[Craig]

We both thought it was terrible.

[Kyle Brandt]

When Craig starts his dissertation with, look, you're, you're, you're. No, I don't even blame you. You weren't there.

[Craig]

And I think that's just what it is. It has to be that way. It's. There's a generational. There's generational blinders on and it's meant to be that way. That's.

[Bill Simmons]

How did you think about the reveal scene? Were you surprised?

[Craig]

Yeah. What's funny is 10 seconds before it in that scene, I was like, whip them out. Like, that's the only way you're gonna convince.

[Joe House]

Do it.

[Craig]

And she literally did it. Liz and I were like, oh my God, guy.

[Kyle Brandt]

Wow. You called the shot.

[Craig]

Whip him out.

[Joe House]

I think you're gonna. I think you're gonna think about it for a long time and it's gonna grow on you.

[Craig]

I mean, if she's wearing a bra in that scene or if it's shot from behind, this movie is completely irrelevant. Right?

[Joe House]

I think that's right.

[Bill Simmons]

Except for Billy Jacoby's award winning performance, who got the head of the show.

[Joe House]

Did you enjoy Billy Jacoby?

[Craig]

No, I thought he was goin. I thought he's terrible. Really across the board. They're all bad in this movie.

[Joe House]

Here's what I'll say.

[Craig]

Zabka's good. I actually think he's good.

[Kyle Brandt]

I think Zabka is good.

[Craig]

I think Zabka's good.

[Kyle Brandt]

Interesting.

[Craig]

I think everyone else is rough.

[Kyle Brandt]

I think you thought Jacoby, like, you didn't think like the horniest character ever was funny.

[Craig]

No, I just thought. I think there's a certain cheesiness that some of these 80s movies have, that the line delivery, like I think all three of you delivered every line from the movie way better than any character.

[Joe House]

Here's my prediction, Bill. There's never going to be a movie that Kyle and I both want to do that Craig is gonna like.

[Craig]

I like sneakers.

[Joe House]

You didn't like sneakers.

[Craig]

I liked it enough.

[Joe House]

Don't rewrite history.

[Kyle Brandt]

Don't indulge us horror, Becky.

[Joe House]

Don't rewrite history.

[Kyle Brandt]

100 minutes, right? 100 minutes.

[Craig]

100 minutes.

[Kyle Brandt]

Craig, you know that now that like you have changed me that I used to go and look up a movie club.

[Craig]

It was exactly 100 minutes.

[Bill Simmons]

That should have been your flex.

[Kyle Brandt]

I used to look at the Rotten Tomatoes rating. Now the first thing I look at is you. Yeah, I call it the Beck effect. And it's like you have changed the way I look at movies.

[Craig]

Dude, it's unbelievable runtime box office. Yeah, that's what you gotta do. I also thought Terry. Liz and I were both like, terry looks like Michael Jackson in this movie.

[Kyle Brandt]

Terry looks like Michael Jackson. Yes, Terry late stage speed racer Michael Jackson.

[Craig]

No, boy, Terry looks like a young white Michael Jackson.

[Bill Simmons]

Jackson.

[Kyle Brandt]

I mean, she make it work.

[Craig]

And we couldn't stop seeing. She's in the. The loose tie which we never talked about why she didn't.

[Kyle Brandt]

You guys are at home talking, saying that Cherry's like Michael Jackson.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Joe House]

Elvis Costello. She's doing Costello.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah, they did say that.

[Craig]

Elvis Costello.

[Kyle Brandt]

I don't know.

[Bill Simmons]

I'll be interested to see what the public thinks of this choice of a movie. I knew I was excited for it.

[Craig]

Kyle just brought it up. Sure thing. I. I love. That's my favorite movie we did in 2025. A sure thing came out a month before this. Thought it was was fantastic.

[Joe House]

Bill, everyone's going to be so baffled why we did this movie. You know that to be true.

[Bill Simmons]

You think?

[Kyle Brandt]

I heard the people at Netflix warn in unless you did just one of the guys. Yeah, like Bill, we love the pod, but you got to do it by the way.

[Joe House]

The corrupting influence of sentence random.

[Bill Simmons]

By the way, this is why we snuck it in right before. Right before the Netflix movie.

[Craig]

My generation has been robbed of like Kyle, you saying that this was the first time you saw boobs ever? And it was like on the big screen. You like trying to pause. I don't have a memory of the first time. You know what I mean?

[Kyle Brandt]

It's just like somebody like pulled up.

[Craig]

Some weird website on their ipod touch and showed me it and I was.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, okay, I have some good news for this movie, by the way. Available on tubi.

[Kyle Brandt]

Awesome.

[Bill Simmons]

Tubi. Tubi, of course.

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Craig]

It's right next to Legend of Billie Jean on tubi.

[Kyle Brandt]

Is that true? I was on My flight yesterday, watching it on tubi.

[Joe House]

Kyle. Kyle. Tubied on a plane. I've never tubied on a plane.

[Kyle Brandt]

Delta wi Fi worked great. It was no problem at all.

[Craig]

Should we start doing polls?

[Joe House]

We should do.

[Craig]

I want to do generational polls. I wish I could, like, see the age, like, when this.

[Joe House]

The demographics.

[Craig]

Yes.

[Joe House]

Yeah.

[Craig]

You know what I mean? I think I'm on the right side of history. I think if I took anybody under 35 and had them watch this movie for the first time, I feel confident they would side with me. But maybe.

[Bill Simmons]

I think that's fair.

[Joe House]

I think that's true.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah.

[Joe House]

I don't disagree. There was no way you were ever going to like this movie. And I'm not mad at you.

[Craig]

It's a moment in time.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, next week's movie is a little more highly regarded.

[Kyle Brandt]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Joe House]

It's regarding Henry.

[Bill Simmons]

No.

[Kyle Brandt]

Oh, I thought that was the choice of words.

[Bill Simmons]

We have one more.

[Craig]

Yeah, right, right, right.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, yeah. We. There's one more we gotta squeeze in. And then we have the first Netflix.

[Craig]

One'S gonna be a big one more pre Netflix.

[Joe House]

Squeeze in one more. What are you doing, though?

[Bill Simmons]

It's. It's.

[Craig]

You might as well.

[Kyle Brandt]

You're gonna get daylight.

[Bill Simmons]

It's gonna be on Wednesday. We're. We're doing another van and Chris and I are doing another 48 hours. It's special.

[Kyle Brandt]

Awesome.

[Bill Simmons]

It's. It's the sequel that frustrates me the most. And I've seen it.

[Joe House]

Should you call this what the hell, January? Well, it's dumping.

[Kyle Brandt]

48 hours. Your favorite movie, right? The original.

[Bill Simmons]

It's what? Yeah, it's probably the one I've seen the most.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And then the sequel I was incredibly excited about, and it just. It's so frustrating. So we're gonna talk about our frustrated. That'll be Wednesday's rewatchable. What a week.

[Kyle Brandt]

The redevil Wears Prada. Like, when's that? Cause I'm ready for that too, baby.

[Bill Simmons]

We just watched it. Ben had never seen it and was fascinated that I made it number one on my most rewatchables list. And we watched it. He thought it was a good movie.

[Kyle Brandt]

It is.

[Joe House]

It's a great movie.

[Bill Simmons]

It's, I think, appeals to all people.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah.

[Craig]

I don't know anybody who doesn't like that movie.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

Vinny Chase, too. There's all kinds of stuff to talk about.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. I don't know what happened to you.

[Craig]

Well, you have a cool.

[Bill Simmons]

He's kind of like Terry in this movie playing a guy.

[Joe House]

Guy in Devil Wears product. Yeah.

[Kyle Brandt]

Yeah. There's one point he made grilled cheese.

[Joe House]

And he's, like, really mad.

[Bill Simmons]

Joanne, a pleasure. Kyle, great to see you as always. Thank you for my T shirt.

[Kyle Brandt]

Of course.