‘Species’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Van Lathan

Summary

The Rewatchables - Episode: ‘Species’ with Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Van Lathan Release Date: July 22, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of The Rewatchables, hosted by Bill Simmons alongside Chris Ryan and Van Lathan, the trio delves into the 1995 cult classic sci-fi horror film "Species." They explore why this movie, released nearly three decades ago, continues to captivate movie enthusiasts, despite its mixed reviews and often-overlooked status in the broader cinematic landscape.

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Opening Remarks and Cast Discussion

The episode kicks off with the group sharing playful banter and impressions before diving into the core of their discussion.

• Bill Simmons (00:48): "We're going to do an incredible movie that came out 30 years ago that I saw in the theater."
• Van Lathan (00:56): "Species is next. We now have a new sequence of DNA of instructions on how to combine it with ours."

The conversation quickly shifts to the film's cast, particularly focusing on Michael Madsen and his role, juxtaposed with the involvement of Ben Kingsley and Alfred Molina.

• Chris Ryan (02:25): "Now you're doing Javier Bardem from F1."
• Bill Simmons (02:29): "Michael Madsen passed away and we had to do a Michael Madsen movie."

Michael Madsen's performance is lauded as a standout, with comparisons drawn to his iconic roles in "Reservoir Dogs" and "True Romance."

• Van Lathan (03:26): "He just injects cool into a movie. But he's always so. But in this one he's gotta do his thing a little bit."
• Chris Ryan (03:48): "I liked Species because I got to play a good guy."

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Plot and Character Analysis

The hosts delve into the movie's plot, dissecting key scenes and character motivations.

"Species" revolves around a genetically engineered alien hybrid, Natasha Henstridge's character, who escapes and seeks to mate with humans to propagate her species.

• Bill Simmons (10:52): "Basically the synopsis is, what if I told you they made an Alien movie, but the alien was a hot, horny blonde who wanted to find a mate?"
• Chris Ryan (11:05): "I think the alien from another planet dropping into LA would have made a great TV show."

The discussion highlights the film's blend of sci-fi, horror, and erotic elements, questioning the execution and plausibility of certain plot points.

• Van Lathan (13:47): "It's always compelling to me when an alien from another planet is dropped into a major metropolis and has to figure their way out."
• Bill Simmons (25:30): "The team was an anthropologist, a molecular biologist, a black ops mercenary, and an empath."

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Memorable Scenes and Performances

The hosts reminisce about specific scenes that encapsulate the movie's essence, both its strengths and shortcomings.

Key Scene Highlights:

1. Michelle Williams' Character Escaping:

   • Bill Simmons (26:50): "Michelle Williams, young Michelle Williams, escaping in the glass hole. They’re trying to gas her out."
   • Chris Ryan (27:07): "It's like, oh, shit's getting real here on Species."

2. The Hollywood Hills Sequence:

   • Van Lathan (37:07): "The long hair. Yeah."
   • Bill Simmons (37:40): "The Robbie, I just love that whole section is just great."

3. The Climactic Sex Scenes:

   • Van Lathan (45:00): "That sex scene was actually hotter than anything that Natasha was into."
   • Chris Ryan (36:15): "These are two consenting adults... It’s like, am I kind of into this."

4. Final Chase and Climax:

   • Bill Simmons (35:23): "The car chase, body switch explosion, whatever’s going on there. Very fun to watch."

Notable performances from the cast are highlighted, with Alfred Molina's role receiving mixed reviews.

• Bill Simmons (16:45): "Ben Kingsley had already won. And then Forest Whitaker, who hadn’t won yet."
• Chris Ryan (24:58): "He's really good as far as lay. Period. He’s really good and hatefully, he's awesome in Kill Bill Part two."

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Nitpicks and Critiques

Despite fondness for certain aspects, the hosts are unafraid to point out the film's flaws and missed opportunities.

• Michael Madsen’s Role:

  • Bill Simmons (05:00): "Not sure why he wasn't a bigger deal. Probably had some off-the-set issues."
  • Chris Ryan (06:09): "I have this couple of things. I just wish there had been more depth."

• Plot Inconsistencies:

  • Bill Simmons (27:32): "Do we do the… Are we sure this guy was good at her? What’s that?"
  • Van Lathan (29:01): "They couldn’t just open the door quickly, let them out."

• Character Development:

  • Chris Ryan (42:05): "He’s on autopilot the whole thing."
  • Bill Simmons (41:01): "I just can't believe this was the best they could do."

• Special Effects and Movie Logic:

  • Bill Simmons (53:00): "She was in the train porter clothes, just a horrific murder."
  • Chris Ryan (58:37): "She has to have her little Dion Waiters moment and then get killed."

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What Could Have Been: Alternate Casting and TV Adaptations

The discussion takes a creative turn as the hosts imagine alternate scenarios where "Species" might have thrived with different casting or as a television series.

• Alternate Casting Suggestions:

  • Chris Ryan (54:10): "Natasha met Leo DiCaprio."
  • Bill Simmons (75:00): "If Cruise was in the Ben Kingsley role, doing a couple of old men Tom Cruise things."

• TV Show Potential:

  • Bill Simmons (64:06): "It should have been a TV show. And I think you can make the case that if this is an HBO show in 1995, it becomes the first great cable one-hour show that we have."
  • Van Lathan (65:39): "There’s mute different types of mutants because this government agency is doing all kinds of crazy."

These imaginative scenarios underscore the hosts' belief that "Species" possessed elements that could have been further explored, had the format or casting been different.

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Special Features and Behind-the-Scenes Insights

The hosts share anecdotes and behind-the-scenes insights, particularly about Roger Donaldson's direction and the film's production nuances.

• Roger Donaldson’s Influence:

  • Bill Simmons (52:42): "This was directed by Roger Donaldson, who did some fun ones over the years, including 'No Way Out.'"
  • Chris Ryan (53:31): "Roger Donaldson also did 'The Getaway.'"

• Behind-the-Scenes Dynamics:

  • Bill Simmons (48:33): "Madsen said Ben Kingsley was protective of his chair on set and didn’t like anyone touching it. So Madsen would purposely do things to it, including dumping garbage on it and hanging it from a crane."

These insights add depth to the hosts' appreciation of the film, highlighting the collaborative yet challenging environment during production.

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Final Thoughts and Legacy

Towards the end of the episode, the hosts reflect on "Species" legacy and its place in 90s cinema, balancing nostalgia with critical analysis.

• Legacy and Cultural Impact:

  • Bill Simmons (73:50): "They should be every five years."
  • Chris Ryan (84:05): "They made so many bad sequels of this. Your Prestige TV pitch was great."

• Cult Status:

  • Van Lathan (88:05): "But about Craig. We hit basically everything except."
  • Craig Horlbeck (88:50): "It's definitely a film where I was like, they grow up so fast."

The hosts acknowledge that while "Species" may not have been a critical darling, its unique blend of genres and memorable performances have cemented its status as a beloved cult classic among fans.

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Notable Quotes

• Bill Simmons (10:52): "Basically the synopsis is, what if I told you they made an Alien movie, but the alien was a hot, horny blonde who wanted to find a mate?"
• Van Lathan (16:45): "But he was like, I have to run down this hallway."
• Chris Ryan (37:07): "The Long Island Iced Teas still at the clubs."
• Bill Simmons (77:46): "Best double feature choice under the skin."

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Conclusion

In wrapping up, The Rewatchables team presents "Species" as a film that, despite its flaws, offers ample material for discussion and rewatching. From standout performances and memorable scenes to the film's unique premise and cult status, "Species" remains a fascinating subject for movie lovers looking to explore the gems of the past.

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For more detailed discussions and the complete list of rewatchable scenes from "Species," visit The Ringer's Rewatchables page or watch full episodes on the Ringer Movies YouTube Channel.

Transcript

[Bill Simmons]

This episode is brought to you by Disney. This summer, Disney is going retro with all your Disney and Hulu throwback faves. Hit endless rewind on Disney with the Princess diaries, the Lizzie McGuire Movie and Freaky Friday. Then with Hulu Throw it back with Gilmore Girls, One Tree Hill and Full House. All of these and much more now streaming with Hulu on Disney plus with a bundle subscription available with bundle plans starting at $10.99 a month. Terms apply. Visit disneyplus.com hulu for details. The rewatchables is brought to you by the Ringer podcast network where you can find the watch with cr.

[Chris Ryan]

Is this your Madsen imitation Big pig, too?

[Bill Simmons]

I'm doing a Brad per.

[Van Lathan]

F1.

[Bill Simmons]

Just talking like.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, I am on the watch on the big picture.

[Bill Simmons]

Van Lathan. Higher learning.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Brendan Boyce. We are going to do an incredible movie that came out 30 years ago that I saw in the theater.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. And I don't know why it wasn't a bigger thing. Maybe it is. Maybe it is a thing. We're going to find out. Species is next. We now have a new sequence of DNA of instructions on how to combine it with ours.

[Van Lathan]

They don't know how to find her.

[Chris Ryan]

You created a monster.

[Van Lathan]

Now you want us to hunt it.

[Bill Simmons]

Down and kill it. They don't know how to kill her. We decided to make it female so.

[Van Lathan]

That it would be more controllable. More control.

[Chris Ryan]

I guess you guys don't get out much.

[Bill Simmons]

They only know if they fail.

[Van Lathan]

We gotta get to her before she gives birth.

[Bill Simmons]

It's the end of our possible species. Rated r. Starts Friday, July 7th. This episode of the Rewatchable is presented by Holiday Inn by ihg. It's a new day for a new stay at Holiday Inn for business travelers. Do you count as a business traveler, Sean? Sure.

[Chris Ryan]

Sometimes.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay. With modern spaces for meeting and working, plus delicious dining for breakfast, Happy hour. Do you eat breakfast, Sean?

[Van Lathan]

I do.

[Bill Simmons]

I had an apple and a breakfast bar this morning. Oh, interesting. I don't need any breakfast, but I do love happy hour and dinner. They have that too. You have everything you need to get your work done. Give your everyday business travel and upgrade. Book your next business trip at Holiday Inn by IHG. Visit holiday inn.com to book your stay. All right, so Michael Madsen died.

[Chris Ryan]

Now you're doing Javier Bardem from F1.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay.

[Chris Ryan]

What are we doing, Sonny?

[Bill Simmons]

Michael Madsen passed away and we had to do a Michael Madsen movie. And you thought it was gonna be Donnie Brasco?

[Chris Ryan]

I asked. Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

And I was like, no, it's gonna be Species. Just because he's fucking awesome.

[Chris Ryan]

In Species, listeners know that's how things work.

[Bill Simmons]

And you were excited.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, you was excited. Yeah.

[Van Lathan]

Goes no Species.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, Species was weirdly on the summer list anyway because I just bought it on 4K Blu Ray Spectacular.

[Chris Ryan]

Where's the collection at Now?

[Van Lathan]

That's how this.

[Bill Simmons]

Whoa. Amazon just had this great deal. Sam Prestang just second Round picks off Amazon. This is my favorite Matt performance. Other than True Romance. I have it number two. I just love that really.

[Chris Ryan]

Over Reservoir, there's.

[Bill Simmons]

He has no part in this movie. It's like, ah, he's a hired government kind. But he's just all charisma and cool and it's like, yeah, of course he's gonna fuck Mark Helgenberger. It's gonna happen.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Van Lathan]

He never. I can't remember him ever trying this again. Trying to be the smooth center lead guy. He's one of those guys that comes in and just injects cool into a movie. But he's always so. But in this one he's gotta do his thing a little bit. And he's almost playing a straight man, which he didn't really do as much.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like a Alec Baldwin part almost. Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

I mean he said that of like all. He made a lot of movies. He made a lot of movies for a lot of paychecks. But he was like, I liked Species because I got to play a good guy.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

And the movie like stands up. It kind of holds up. And he's great. He is this like. Like kind of Humphrey Bogart figure right the middle of this team. And he just has like that ineffable cool that is just. You saw it in Dogs, you see it in True Romancing. You see it here.

[Van Lathan]

That's what it is. He's playing. He's playing a good guy. He's playing a cool good guy. Like a no shit straight shooter.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Van Lathan]

They'll kind of like every time they're hemming and ha about something, he goes, no, this is the truth. And that's kind of awesome.

[Bill Simmons]

But like with a little bit of a wink and a sense of humor.

[Chris Ryan]

He's.

[Bill Simmons]

He's tall, he's big. Like a lot of these Hollywood guys. Probably like six' one, six' two, his 90s, you know, he's ripping off Thelma and Louise. He's memorable in that. Plays a porn star in the Doors. I don't know how I feel about the Doors.

[Van Lathan]

Love it.

[Bill Simmons]

The Getaway, Wyatt Earp, Reservoir Was like his most famous one. And it really goes through Species and then Donnie Brasco in 97. And then his IMDb just becomes paycheck after paycheck. Yeah, including Species too, which he hated.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

But he has this like 7, 8 year run here. Not sure why he wasn't a bigger deal. I'm sure he had some off the set issues that probably weren't helping him. But I think the thing that stands out for me with him is he. He feels like a 1940s or 50s actor. Absolutely time machined. Like he should be with China. Like, fuck Ava gardner in like 1949.

[Chris Ryan]

Well, you know that we talked about this before, but like up until a certain point and when you're watching Hollywood movies, maybe Even through the 80s and 90s, you would watch these guys and there are definitely like a group of them where you would be like, I could see this dude doing something else but acting besides acting.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Chris Ryan]

Like Harrison Ford was like a carpenter or whatever. You know, he's like, you could see guys and be like, I bet this dude had another job before he became Sam Elliott or Ed Harris.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Chris Ryan]

And then when you see Matson, he's kind of like that. You'd be like, oh, I could see this guy being like bartending at a pool hall. Before he became an actor now he worked at Steppenwolf. He came up through the theater. That might not be the reality, but he has like lived experience that he transmits through his performances, which I think is like the best thing, like an.

[Van Lathan]

Every guy type of deal. Also in the 90s for him, a lot of his roles to me intersected with roles that Travolta was getting.

[Chris Ryan]

Crucially.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah, like, you know, obviously he comes, he is in where's the War Dogs? And Travolta is Vince Vega. Those characters were related or whatever, but when you think about it, you could see him as Chili Palmer. Yeah, you could see him in a lot of those roles.

[Bill Simmons]

He would have been good in Face.

[Van Lathan]

Off, would have been good in Face off, stuff like that. So there was kind of somebody on his corner a little bit.

[Bill Simmons]

The move, in retrospect, after like 97, he should have just done like a CSI type show. He just banked bank TV for 10 years.

[Chris Ryan]

Moments with Marge Hulgenberger where you're like, oh, like he could have had the William Peterson run here. You know what I mean?

[Bill Simmons]

Or he just could have had a show with. With her.

[Chris Ryan]

That's what I mean.

[Bill Simmons]

He could have been such good chemistry. I'm like, I just would have Watched CSI with Peterson.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Van Lathan]

She was dialing it up in this little sexy turn.

[Bill Simmons]

Listen, she.

[Chris Ryan]

We'll get to that.

[Van Lathan]

This was a.

[Bill Simmons]

She played a hooker with a heart of gold in China Beach.

[Van Lathan]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

A show only cr. And I watched.

[Chris Ryan]

I fucking love China beach.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, the Michael McDonald end.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Finale. One of the great Michael McDonald's.

[Chris Ryan]

China beach had the sickest opening credits.

[Van Lathan]

Was this weird. We're doing it like it's Vietnam.

[Chris Ryan]

It's Dana Delaney and she's a nurse at like a hospital or doctor at a hospital.

[Van Lathan]

Vietnam War.

[Bill Simmons]

Good looking woman in China Beach. Dana Delaney, Marge. Yeah, but it ended. They all went. It moved into the future like 20 plus years later. And they all went to the wall to see the names and see the people that some of them whom have died. And Michael McDonald's. You can let go now. Started playing. And it's like one of the most emotional moments in the 80s. Like hands down, not online, by the way. I've looked for it over and over again. I'm like, when is this gonna be online? Never.

[Chris Ryan]

Apparently, the Chinese is not on streaming. One of my favorite things about you is recount some emotional moment from an 80s TV show. And it's like, is Bill gonna cry right now?

[Van Lathan]

You were touched by that?

[Bill Simmons]

I really was. I was by my. We were visiting my parents in Nantucket because they'd rented this house and they were out shopping and China beach was on and for some reason I was just watching it and all of a sudden the mic like that and they came home and I'm like, hey, guys, what's going on?

[Chris Ryan]

What are you thinking about?

[Bill Simmons]

Bill Pow said this Vietnam War was really rough, man. No, but that show, that. I think there was too much music in it.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, yeah, it was like music for a while.

[Van Lathan]

Same reason why I can't get all of my favorite MTV stuff anymore. No more real worlds, no more like mtb, mtv.

[Bill Simmons]

All the Fox shows, like all the Nanotuno, Mel.

[Van Lathan]

Russian music.

[Chris Ryan]

That was why Homicide took a long time to get to streaming, I think, because of the music.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, the cast in this. Before we get to introducing the cast in this, because the producer wanted in species, they wanted to spend. They had $35 million budget spend basically all of it on the alien and the effects. So they go kind of mid market on the. On the stars. They're like, we don't need Travolta, we'll get Madsen. They're just basically doing the same presti. And they end up with two Oscar winners. They get Ben Kingsley had already won. And then Forest Whitaker, who hadn't won yet. They get Madsen. They get Marge. Marge or Marg. I never.

[Chris Ryan]

You know what? I honestly have never said it out loud.

[Bill Simmons]

I think it's Marge.

[Chris Ryan]

I'm going to say let's go with margin. We apologize if we're wrong.

[Bill Simmons]

And then our guy, Alfred Molina.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Who's two years later throwing firecrackers at Dirk Diggler. Reed Rothschild.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

But they just kind of patch it together and it's a. It just. I saw this in the theater and I was like, inject this in my veins.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

So I know we're. We're waiting. It's all appetizers.

[Van Lathan]

It's such a sneaky, devastatingly good cast. The movie is casted. So. Seriously, with all of these serious actors.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Van Lathan]

But I did not go to see the movie in theaters because of that. I went to see the movie in theaters because there was all this stuff.

[Chris Ryan]

Because you care about SETI and life on intelligent life on Earth.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah. The clean energy, which is a.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, what happens if alien intelligence goes bad.

[Van Lathan]

Of course I cared about the philosophical ramifications.

[Chris Ryan]

No, you cared about minute 16.

[Van Lathan]

We went all together as, like, we went to see it because she was naked in it. That was the reason that got. I'm just being for real.

[Chris Ryan]

Should we do like a fake Ken Burns documentary about people going to see.

[Bill Simmons]

Species in theater soloed and might have been the only alone person in the theater? Bam.

[Chris Ryan]

Went with the community and Bill went alone. But we all went. We all went to watch Natasha.

[Bill Simmons]

We were all there for one reason. Yeah. Listen, Craig, did you know what this movie was?

[Craig Horlbeck]

No.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

So basically the synopsis is, what if I told you they made an Alien movie, but the alien was a hot, horny blonde who wanted to find a mate?

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I just think people are going to be like, I'm going to give this one a chance. There's a certain demo in the streaming universe that are like, I'm going to give this a whirl. And by the way, it's on a lot of different streamers, so this is easy to find.

[Chris Ryan]

Can I just throw.

[Bill Simmons]

But nobody knew who Natasha Hendridge was.

[Chris Ryan]

It was her first movie. She was producing Natasha Henstridge. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And this was like, we need to cast somebody who's really good looking. And they succeeded.

[Chris Ryan]

Yes. Before we get to Natasha, I just want to say that one of my favorite sub genres of the 90s is I. I think it's like, I'll call it scientist fiction. So it's a little bit sci fi, a little bit adventure Y. But Congo outbreak sneakers. Sphere Species mimic.

[Van Lathan]

Crichtoning it up.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah. Get a little Crichton in your life. And, and just like always has these really good ensembles and that has like a little bit of like, what would happen if there was a great big epidemic? Or what would happen if, you know, we found something in the bottom of the ocean that might be a portal to another universe. All this stuff and it's. They just made. They executed it on such a high level.

[Van Lathan]

Do you put like event horizon in there?

[Chris Ryan]

A little bit closer to space horror. But, but I think, I think intention. But the intention was to make it like that.

[Van Lathan]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

I completely believe the premise of this.

[Chris Ryan]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

Completely ironically when.

[Van Lathan]

That's fucking hilarious, bro. Like, the premise of this movie is so fucking wacky.

[Bill Simmons]

When they lays it out, I'm like, yeah, some signals. They kind of tricked us.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, right.

[Bill Simmons]

And they wanted us to take their code and, and, and merge it with a human. And we fell for it. I was like, ah, maybe I could see some people in Trump's cabinet falling for that one right now. Let's be honest. It's like. Hey, Pres.

[Chris Ryan]

Hey. Good news.

[Bill Simmons]

The aliens have reached out. They just want to merge our DNA. Is that cool?

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah. I can see Hagsett definitely get.

[Bill Simmons]

Getting.

[Chris Ryan]

Getting caught with this email. Whoa, Are you serious? She wants to do what?

[Van Lathan]

Hex. She would get to Hex. Yeah, he likes to party.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, they decided to make the alien attractive. Natasha was a Canadian model who had never acted before. And then I got to say I bought season tickets. I thought there was going to be a big career head. Didn't quite happen. This ended up basically becoming the.

[Chris Ryan]

She made a couple of species movies she was in.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, hold on Yard she was in. She hung around, but not in the way.

[Van Lathan]

Flirted with TV a little bit.

[Bill Simmons]

Not in the way I felt like it was going to happen for her. She's just perfect in this.

[Van Lathan]

Or you think Sharon Stone or something?

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know. She was definitely felt like a movie star.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, right.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like she had a presence. She had a charisma. And there's this whole alternate version of this movie that we'll talk about where it's like her just kind of moving around la. Could have gone on for.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, that could have been like two days. That could have been like kung fu.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Just walk the earth.

[Bill Simmons]

Could have just been a TV show.

[Van Lathan]

It's always compelling to me when alien from another planet or whatever being is dropped into a major metropolis and has to, like, figure their way out.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, get a hotel room, buy clothes.

[Van Lathan]

Figure out money, figure out directions, talk to people on the hotel room tv, all of that stuff. But it is always much more appealing when that alien is drop dead gorgeous. Right. Because you're looking like, oh, my God, are people not paying attention to her? How is she going to blink and all of that? She wants to go to the parties.

[Bill Simmons]

Did she. Did you waive the five year waiting period for the White Girl hall of Fame and just induct her immediately? How did that work?

[Chris Ryan]

She's a founding member going back to.

[Bill Simmons]

1999 for five years.

[Van Lathan]

It's funny, when I queued the movie up to watch it, I was like, I wonder how. Because you see her in the whole nine yards. She is uncommonly, devastatingly beautiful. Like, but in a very white way. Sometimes people are. Sometimes they.

[Bill Simmons]

A tall, white, Canadian way.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah. Sometimes I don't like them like that. I like them a little. You know, with my White Girl hall of Fame, you know, I put Alexis Texas in my shit. So, like.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay.

[Van Lathan]

But like, she is, like, devastatingly gorgeous in like a really timeless way, which you would have.

[Chris Ryan]

She's Nordic.

[Van Lathan]

She's Nordic, Right. Feels Nordic, which normally is not my thing. But when I look, when I queued the movie back up, I'm like, whoa, she's still.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, like, she. If. If just like some prince had just married her three years later and she just became like the Queen of Scotland, it would have made sense.

[Van Lathan]

Or if, like, if Quincy Jones got.

[Bill Simmons]

To her or Pete Sampras, it's just like, oh, there Pete Sampras is Woody Wimbledon. There's his girlfriend Natasha Hendricks.

[Chris Ryan]

Exactly.

[Bill Simmons]

She's just in the box cheering him on. The lady die. Yeah. I don't. I don't know why more stuff didn't happen with her. Maybe she wasn't a very good actor. Her acting didn't really matter in this movie.

[Chris Ryan]

The other thing that's kind of cool about her in this movie is if. Whether you're alone in the theater or with the crew, like, it confronts you with some images that you may not consider erotic on first pass, but then find yourself kind of being like, am I kind of into this. Am I kind of into this naked lady popping out of an alien cocoon? Naked. Covered in.

[Bill Simmons]

He. Covered in. Strangely, yeah.

[Van Lathan]

The part where, you know, the guys.

[Chris Ryan]

These are the search terms that we don't have anymore. You know what I mean?

[Van Lathan]

You know, she's gonna kill the guy and she looks at him and she goes, I want a baby. And you're like, I would give you one.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay. All right. It is. It's quite a performance. On the flip side, I think we have to. I created a new award that I'm just gonna do now, the Ben Kingsley in Species award for. It doesn't seem like you really want.

[Chris Ryan]

To be here now.

[Bill Simmons]

We've seen this before. I don't know how. We've done almost 400 movies and this hasn't been a category yet. But I think he just regretted being in this from the get go. Never really broke out of it.

[Chris Ryan]

He didn't love his time on the set.

[Bill Simmons]

Was not surprised to find that out in the research.

[Chris Ryan]

And I think he was probably in that zone of middle aged English actor who was like, kind of in the Michael Caine zone, you know, where you're like, I can do this in my sleep.

[Bill Simmons]

I've won an Oscar before, but I guess now here's where my career is going.

[Chris Ryan]

One single tier as I execute the young sill. But other than that, just tell me I have to run down this hallway.

[Bill Simmons]

He's on autopilot, the whole thing.

[Van Lathan]

He's also an interesting guy. Like, he's made some movies. What's that guy that's known as the worst director of all time? Ewee Bolt.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Van Lathan]

He was in one of his movies and apparently Bloodrayne, something like that. Yeah. The way it worked out was that like, Ben Kingsley was near where they were shooting or something, and somebody got in touch with him. They found it out some kind of way. It was like, yo, we'll give you $75,000 to come over here and act for one day. Then they put him on the COVID of the dvd. So Ben, he'll take a check to go and add some.

[Chris Ryan]

And then every five years or so he would do like, he would just be in Sexy Beast and you'd be like, oh, you're the best actor in the world.

[Van Lathan]

Right. He just. He does his thing.

[Bill Simmons]

Sean does that with Blu Ray extras. He's the Ben Kingsley of Blu Ray.

[Chris Ryan]

If you cut the check, Sean will show up.

[Bill Simmons]

Species can't buy me love Director's commentary.

[Van Lathan]

Oh, that's a great movie, man.

[Bill Simmons]

So Madsen.

[Van Lathan]

I love that movie.

[Bill Simmons]

You like that, Mads?

[Van Lathan]

Appreciate it.

[Bill Simmons]

Have we done camp? I mean, love, Craig.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yes.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I thought we did. Might have been during that Covid year.

[Chris Ryan]

I haven't done cario, but we did.

[Bill Simmons]

Care about or October.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Still saving.

[Chris Ryan]

I guess we're going to work together forever because, like, I'm not leaving you until you do.

[Bill Simmons]

Scar. Gotta hold some stuff over you. Madsen has lines in this movie like, I'm Preston Lennox, and if I'm here, the. Has definitely hit the fan.

[Chris Ryan]

It's good.

[Bill Simmons]

Solid. I also like when I'm a freelance solution to our government's problems. Always fun when somebody has that job. I feel like that would have been your job if you could have written yourself.

[Chris Ryan]

I feel like part of those jobs now. That's one of the problems.

[Bill Simmons]

The rogue.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah. Too many guys are just like, yeah, I work for the government.

[Bill Simmons]

Tom is about to copulate with a creature from outer space. Like, these are bad lines and he's ripping them off and. Unbelievable.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah. He can just put, like, a little bit of hot sauce on anything where he's just like. When they're like, we made her female so that she would be more docile. And he was like, you guys don't.

[Van Lathan]

Get out much on the Mads and teeth. When he passed away, it was evident to me, when I thought about it, it's like he was just a cool actor that I knew that if he was in a movie, some cool shit was gonna happen. Like him and the Getaway. Him and Reservoir Dolls and all of that. And who are the cool actors now? Who are, like, the cool guys?

[Chris Ryan]

Who's, like, cool.

[Van Lathan]

Like, just cool. I'm not talking about dudes that, you know, like, the way Sizemore open a movie. Yeah. Who could open a movie or do whatever. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about just like, this guy is cool. You know, the movie is going to have a little something to it. He's going to bring a little something.

[Bill Simmons]

Sauce.

[Van Lathan]

Some sauce. Like. Like, are all those guys gone and have they not.

[Bill Simmons]

I feel like. I feel like Bernthal was like this for a while, but then he kind of graduated there.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

But Bernthal was this guy.

[Chris Ryan]

Bernthal had that authenticity, I think. Has that a little bit.

[Van Lathan]

Little bit.

[Chris Ryan]

But about to go pro with the faith.

[Van Lathan]

GoPro a little bit. He had it, I thought our guy.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

No.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah. But it's. Yes, definitely cool. Definitely has that, like, authentic feel. Goggins a little bit.

[Van Lathan]

Goggins is one. Goggins.

[Chris Ryan]

That's a real dude. Like, right?

[Van Lathan]

Yeah, Goggins is definitely one part of it is. I don't know if they're making the movies anymore.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. I was thinking there has to be some sort of checklist where the guy. Could you have pulled off being one of the bad guys in a Fast and Furious movie?

[Van Lathan]

Could you, can you be the asshole in a heist movie? Can you play?

[Bill Simmons]

Could you beat De Niro and Kilmer's third guy and Heat? Like there's these things you kind of have to be able to do.

[Van Lathan]

Or like, could you.

[Bill Simmons]

Different versions of being cool. Yeah. Could you be Wingro? That's a good one.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah. So like those guys, those movies that were made, those kind of scuzzy, street level films, actually, you know who's kind of one of those dudes now? In a weird way, Gerard Butler almost has become that. But he might be a little too leading man.

[Bill Simmons]

Pablo's might be like that Pablo Schreiber.

[Chris Ryan]

Sure. Just like, I'd love to see him get, get more work in those kinds.

[Bill Simmons]

So maybe part of it is like, would Tarantino in the mid-90s have been dying to put you in one of his movies?

[Van Lathan]

Right.

[Chris Ryan]

I definitely think some of the guys we just mentioned would have been. I mean, Goggins was in a Tarantino movie once. You know what I mean? At a, at a certain point, can.

[Bill Simmons]

We do Madsen versusmore? Because I feel like you have to, you have to be on one team or the other. Are you a Madsen guy or a Sizemore guy?

[Chris Ryan]

I think filmography wise, it's Sizemore.

[Bill Simmons]

No. What does CR want?

[Chris Ryan]

What is your want?

[Bill Simmons]

Like, who's your guy? If the, if you're cast in a movie and you could do the. Do the fantasy team and you're doing like a heist movie or whatever, who's you? Are you calling size apart Sizemore? I think I'm a Size More guy too, but it's close.

[Van Lathan]

So I'll tell you why I'm going to take Madsen.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay.

[Van Lathan]

I think Madsen can do everything that Sizemore can do. But there are a couple of things.

[Chris Ryan]

That I think Sizemore can't do that.

[Van Lathan]

That Madsen could do.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, the, the slightly. There's something charming. You might feel like he can.

[Van Lathan]

A little bit more like leading man. It can be oriented around me a little bit more. I can get the girl, like you said, type shit.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Van Lathan]

Madison has a little bit more of that Madsen.

[Bill Simmons]

Also. There's a bunch of parts in the 90s. I think he could have played that. I don't know if I would have bought Sizemore. Like Madsen could have been the Michael Douglas Basic Instinct part. I totally could have seen him a shooter.

[Chris Ryan]

Imagine the accent of Roxy.

[Bill Simmons]

Interesting, because I don't. I wouldn't say Sizemore in that role. You know what I mean?

[Van Lathan]

The only thing about shooter is Shooter had to be somebody that looked clean cut but had a dark side.

[Bill Simmons]

That's Madsen.

[Van Lathan]

When you see Madsen, to me, you see the dark side a little bit.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Right. Well, you. But you're bringing your off screen baggage to that.

[Van Lathan]

Maybe.

[Bill Simmons]

So you know the stories. I saw him like five years ago in Malibu eating breakfast. And he was there. He was dressed in a leather jacket. It was like 80 degrees outside eating with one of his kids. And I took a. I took a picture of his back and sent it to cr. I don't know if you remember this here.

[Chris Ryan]

I do.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like Madsen having breakfast.

[Chris Ryan]

I love the idea of you out there papping people. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like one of the only times I've ever done. I was like, I gotta get this.

[Chris Ryan]

Did you go, did you talk to him?

[Bill Simmons]

No, I chickened out. I should have. I never like talking to celebrities.

[Chris Ryan]

He's really good as far as lay. Period him goes. Like he's really good and hatefully, he's awesome. In Kill Bill Part two.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

He still had it, but like obviously had a lot of like off screen stuff and. Yeah, but there's like that there's. The turning point in his career is essentially he's supposed to do Pulp. Right. And doesn't to be in something. Donnie Brasco. He was in Donnie Brasco, but that.

[Bill Simmons]

Was later, a couple years after.

[Chris Ryan]

Was it?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. There was some reason he's not in.

[Chris Ryan]

It, but like you wonder whether or not if he's in Pulp Fiction.

[Bill Simmons]

Does he get four of those Travolta movies?

[Van Lathan]

Yeah. Yeah. Unless. I mean, you know, sometimes a role aligns with an actor.

[Chris Ryan]

Sure. I mean that was like reviving Trollta Travolta.

[Van Lathan]

Certainly. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

The Ben Kingsley and Species award. It doesn't really seem like you wanted to be in this movie I'd loved. We gotta think about this. Like, who's the all time version of that in a movie that we like? We don't have to do this now.

[Chris Ryan]

But for the next Roy Scheider and Jaws 2.

[Bill Simmons]

That was a good one too. $35 million budget, made $113.3 million.

[Van Lathan]

Big hit.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Species. Roger Ebert, two stars. I would have thought he would have enjoyed the nudity.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Mainstream Hollywood is so terrified of intelligent human characters that it's no wonder they don't want aliens who are even smarter than the humans. Just goes on and on talking about what were they trying to do. He told us that whole story. When she asks, who am I? What am I. And then Raj writes, but the movie never tells her.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Relax.

[Bill Simmons]

Settle down, Raj. Alzheimer.

[Van Lathan]

Have some fun, brother.

[Bill Simmons]

We're gonna take a break and go through the category. Take it away.

[Chris Ryan]

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[Bill Simmons]

This episode is brought to you by LifeLock. Between two factor authentication, strong passwords, and a VPN, you try to be in control of how your info is protected. But many other places also have it, and they might not be as careful. That's why LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats. If your identity is stolen, they'll fix it, guaranteed, or your money back. Save up to 40% your first year. Visit lifelock.com podcast for 40% off. Terms apply. All right, most rewatchable scene. Michelle Williams, young Michelle Williams, escaping in the glass hole. They're trying to gas her out. Yeah, she won't have it. Gets out of there. I like how this movie starts. You're like, in immediately. It's good.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah. Gives you no chance to just. Here's the focal point. Up against it, going to eat everything. Alien escape, Crack some necks. We're out of here.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, there's no, like, four minute people walking in a long hallway being like, we have to do it today.

[Chris Ryan]

It's a. If you're going to make a B movie, just make it a B movie and start the movie, you know? You know, I don't need a preamble. I don't need, like, a flashback. I don't need five years ago, scientists telling you title card research, SETI bang. Michelle Williams in a cage. Let's go.

[Van Lathan]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

Do we do the. Are we sure this guy was good at her? What's that?

[Van Lathan]

A word?

[Bill Simmons]

Who's that?

[Chris Ryan]

Flex.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, all right, I'll save it for you. Cr.

[Van Lathan]

Next rewatchable.

[Chris Ryan]

Was it really?

[Van Lathan]

I swear to hell.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

I can probably come up with another Flex.

[Van Lathan]

I can come up with another one, too.

[Bill Simmons]

Next rewatchable. Fitch has his crew and he lays out what happened with the alien. Good exposition.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Two minutes. You Just get it. We decided to make it female so it'd be more docile and controllable. And press goes. More docile and controllable, Eh? You guys don't get out much. We decided to make it female so that it would be more docile and controllable.

[Van Lathan]

More docile and controllable, huh?

[Chris Ryan]

I guess you guys don't get out much.

[Bill Simmons]

That's the trailer off Winter Lines.

[Chris Ryan]

You ever wish you were invited to a random meeting where it's just like, I'm a biologist, I'm an anthropologist, I'm a killer. And Bill's like, I'm a podcaster. It's just like, great. You're gonna meet.

[Bill Simmons]

We're getting more in the video. Yeah, yeah. The team was an anthropologist, a molecular biologist, a black ops mercenary, and an empath. And I don't know. At what point do you want to talk about whatever force Whitaker is doing this movie? We can do it later. We'll save it. Yeah, okay. So he. So Madsen says, I think this is a search and destroy operations. Like, yeah, we get it.

[Van Lathan]

Search and destroy operation. Just so we know, they send one person who knows how to fight and three losers and three eggheads. We're going to give out the Erica.

[Bill Simmons]

Including an empath who gets freaked out if somebody's ordering a coffee. He's like, ah, that's the cat. That's the cat.

[Chris Ryan]

No, he would be like, someone wanted coffee here.

[Van Lathan]

She's afraid.

[Bill Simmons]

It's honestly like that SNL sketch with Christopher Walken. Trivial psychic. You're gonna have an ice cream. You're gonna get an ice cream headache. Fitch almost lets Marge and Madsen die.

[Chris Ryan]

In the lab in the burn room. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

A lot of questions about this one.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

They couldn't just open the door, quick, let them out. And then Madsen's not mad at all. But it's a really fun scene. All right, here we go. I'll just read what I wrote down. Natasha goes to the club, kills a at the id, takes her shirt off, goes to a Hollywood Hills house and kill somebody by French kissing them through the back of their neck.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah. Tongue through the fucking.

[Chris Ryan]

And then that guy looks like Nick Wright. He does. He looks exactly like Nick Wright. And I would. This movie would have been amazing if that dude was like, Jim Rome, right? And he was just, like, driving her home and was just like, yeah, what do you know about Luke Robitaille?

[Bill Simmons]

He's talking about mj. I still feel like there's a guy who's gonna come that's Gonna be greater than him. I still feel like there's some holes.

[Chris Ryan]

And she's like, I want your baby.

[Van Lathan]

So funny.

[Bill Simmons]

He does look like Nick Ray.

[Van Lathan]

He does. And he's got a nice crib. He's probably so. He probably is.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Van Lathan]

That arrow's Nick Wright. Snapping his fingers, turning the lights on.

[Bill Simmons]

She gives a. She. She first. She. The girl that she ends up killing in the bathroom. Nothing better than a good club murder in the bathroom where they find the body, like two minutes later.

[Van Lathan]

Right.

[Chris Ryan]

And she went the hard way. She went like into service entrance and through the fucking tile wall.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, she was.

[Van Lathan]

I feel like that woman died for nothing.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, you know, she was.

[Chris Ryan]

She was seen as a threat, as a throw.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

She all spare in loving, in love. Right, right. Like that. And then she's still is very literal.

[Van Lathan]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

So Natasha learns from her. I've got a party to go to, nobody to take me. Good line. Nobody's ever said that to me. The guy who picks up Natasha at the club. Living the dream.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah. Robbie.

[Bill Simmons]

Great BMW convertible. Like, really good year. Like Midnight. Those mid-90s convertibles were elite.

[Van Lathan]

Crazy view. Automated snap.

[Bill Simmons]

He's got, like, surround sound. Pretty early for the surround sound of like. I'm just gonna put on some Sade.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And play some music for you.

[Van Lathan]

Right. Entitled, though.

[Bill Simmons]

And.

[Chris Ryan]

Well, yeah, it was problematic.

[Bill Simmons]

He was rooting for him and then all of a sudden he got a little date raping.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah, he did. He tried to imprison her. He tried it with the wrong one.

[Bill Simmons]

Come here. I said I want to go. Too late, babe. You're not leaving.

[Van Lathan]

I said, you're not leaving. All right, that's.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm really buying more from Nick Wright. She's like, I just think MJ was better than LeBron said, you're staying here.

[Chris Ryan]

You want to watch Sean Camp highlight.

[Van Lathan]

I do.

[Bill Simmons]

I do think in living in Boston in the mid-90s that, like, half the people in LA were like, this guy.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Where they just, like, went to clubs and then lived in a house like this. Just brought people home, like, just overwhelmed.

[Van Lathan]

Them with, like, all of the stuff that they had and then boom, close the deal.

[Chris Ryan]

So do you think she kills him because he's date rapey or because he's diabetic?

[Bill Simmons]

Both. I think it was a combo.

[Van Lathan]

He also threatened her because that's what I'm saying. Yeah. It's like, I want to leave.

[Bill Simmons]

She should have killed him when he said, I've got to take a shower.

[Chris Ryan]

Would you like that in the shower? Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, just like that's.

[Chris Ryan]

Well, I think he tried, he tried to cash the like maybe she'll shower with me check. And when she didn't go for that, he was like, well I'm already committed to this shower, so I gotta take it.

[Van Lathan]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

I do have some alien questions though. Like she'd never seen a shower before. Like there's a lot of moments where she should have been like, what's a shower? Yeah, why are you standing in that room with water?

[Chris Ryan]

3 commercials and was like.

[Van Lathan]

Saw people spending money. I understand money.

[Bill Simmons]

Her and Borat were the fastest ever assimilated with America.

[Chris Ryan]

She saw one porn scene and a, and a l' Oreal commercial. She's like, I'm good.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I totally understand how all this works.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I got to say, tough beef for diabetes. Like that's enough.

[Chris Ryan]

I know.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh yeah, I know.

[Chris Ryan]

Like it was kind of like a drive by on the diabetics.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I would love if her alien son had like an insulin device on the sewers eating rats.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Next one is the Palisades guy.

[Van Lathan]

Oh.

[Bill Simmons]

A guy with public.

[Chris Ryan]

I also really love just sill at the beach and the skateboarder guy who's like woohoo. Yes. Almost gets hit by the car.

[Bill Simmons]

I, I have a spot for that.

[Chris Ryan]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

I have thoughts.

[Chris Ryan]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

The most Palisades guy ever picks her up. He just, he's, he's like, isn't it great? At her you can so quiet. She's got this nice. He's got some wine ready and he's just like ready to, ready to take it slow. And she's like, but this is the.

[Van Lathan]

This is the hot tub.

[Bill Simmons]

Five seconds.

[Van Lathan]

Because this guy's a nice guy.

[Chris Ryan]

He is really nice guy.

[Van Lathan]

He wants to take a picture with her. What a sip. He's taking a picture with her first date. Got the polar kind of weird. Weird.

[Chris Ryan]

And then also he goes from like I've checked you into and out of the hospital and here's a charcuterie plate immediately.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah. He paid for her to get out of the hospital, took her, was nice to her. And what did he fucking get for it? Killed nothing.

[Bill Simmons]

Justice for guy in the Palisades. Should have gotten rid of this girl, you know, was going to pay for his, for her injuries at the hospital. Put it on my credit card.

[Van Lathan]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

Although I can't blame him. Was there a bigger swing for a human being in 30 seconds than that guy's night? He's like, this is going great. Yeah, let's get in the hotel.

[Van Lathan]

Right. Let's get hot Dog, we're good.

[Bill Simmons]

Hit the lottery. I can't believe this all. And then half. Thirty seconds later, he's being killed.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Van Lathan]

He stopped going with the flow though.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

He started resisting it.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

He started pushing against the current and.

[Van Lathan]

Then that's when you got to die. Poor bastard.

[Bill Simmons]

The car chase, body switch explosion, whatever's going on there. Very fun to watch. I. I'll put do a nitpick here though. Nobody, none of this dream team suspicious at all that the alien with superior intelligence might have rigged any part of this?

[Van Lathan]

No.

[Chris Ryan]

They're like, let's go back to the hotel and get plowed.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Well, I mean, she sees some Long island sts.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And then the last one I have is everyone gets horny.

[Chris Ryan]

Dueling sex scenes.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Marge was really seemed like she was enjoying the scene.

[Van Lathan]

She gets the gene.

[Chris Ryan]

I don't want to step on half ass Internet's research, but apparently that scene was basically improvised by Helgenberger.

[Bill Simmons]

And that was my research as well.

[Craig Horlbeck]

The blowjob.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, they.

[Chris Ryan]

They were like. But that's honestly. You know what I mean? Like, it's like, oh, shit's getting real here on Species, you know?

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

These are two consenting adults.

[Van Lathan]

Stand up. Stand up.

[Bill Simmons]

She had it as a category later. Did this movie need a better at the Steven Seagal award for did this movie need a better intimacy coordinator? Marge and Michael keep that intimacy over.

[Van Lathan]

There waving them off. Allen Iverson stuff.

[Chris Ryan]

Clear out.

[Van Lathan]

Clear. Like we, we got this.

[Bill Simmons]

Do you know that cigar movie? That's where we have that category where he's just going at it with this. He's like a cop who's just going at it with this lady who. I think it's his wife who just ends up getting murdered.

[Van Lathan]

Wait a minute. Which one? Somebody. Kelly LeBrock.

[Bill Simmons]

It's the first one we. Yeah, no, no, it's not the Kelly LeBrock one. It's the second one Kyle and I did. What was that?

[Van Lathan]

Al? For justice?

[Bill Simmons]

No, no, we just did that one. Above the law.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Above the law.

[Van Lathan]

Above the law is no.

[Bill Simmons]

And she gets gunned off for death. Seagal is like. They're like. It's like more comfortable.

[Van Lathan]

I don't know if I've. I don't know.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't think we've done Mark for death.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Anyway, what do you have for most rewatchable? Sierra?

[Chris Ryan]

I think dueling sex scenes at the end.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah, yeah, that's clearly the answer because Henstridge is going for it in that sex scene.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, Melina was never the Same. He's throwing firecrackers.

[Van Lathan]

A year later, she is going for it in that sex scene. I really have to focus watching this movie. I'm sorry. I apologize, guys. Apologize to the listeners.

[Bill Simmons]

I love the Hollywood Hills. That whole scene, it's great. That's my favorite part.

[Van Lathan]

Oh, really? The hot tub.

[Bill Simmons]

The Robbie, I just love. That whole section is just great.

[Van Lathan]

Bill, you see yourself as Robbie, huh?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Van Lathan]

In, like, another life. You're like, it could have happened.

[Bill Simmons]

It's two moves away. What's the most 1995 thing about this movie? I mean, Michelle Williams as young Natasha Hendridge.

[Chris Ryan]

Has she disavowed this film?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I know, but she's like, hasn't disavowed Dawson's Creek.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

I would have loved to have been, like, on the junket for Manchester by the Sea.

[Van Lathan]

I just asked.

[Chris Ryan]

Great work. But in Species, did you have to eat all those chocolate puddings or were those.

[Bill Simmons]

Why'd you kill the train conductor?

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

1995, she has that little portable Sony TV that only existed for, like, three years. That has to be the answer. Of course I did. Kidding.

[Van Lathan]

You had that portable tv?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

You still have a vision. What are you making fun of him for?

[Van Lathan]

The Vision. The Vision Pro. Can you believe we had that around to the Vision Pro?

[Craig Horlbeck]

No. Weighed 15 pounds.

[Bill Simmons]

You could get. Yeah, they were like walkie talkies and they had these tiny screens, but you could get. It was great for sports. Like, you could get the local. Whatever.

[Chris Ryan]

I have a 1995 thing. But, like, do you think that F1 is going to be cool with the Vision Pro?

[Van Lathan]

It would be awesome because it'll be specifically done for Apple.

[Chris Ryan]

You think they're doing it that way?

[Van Lathan]

Yeah. But the Vision Pro has come back, though, because it was stupid, but now it's come back because the NBA app has caught up to the technology and the NBA app has caught up to the Vision Pro. And now watching a game on your Vision Pro is fucking amazing.

[Bill Simmons]

Are you going to be able to see LeBron sullenly standing in the corner as Luka dribbles for 20 seconds? Do you have a better view of that?

[Van Lathan]

Probably. So I have, of course, this guy.

[Bill Simmons]

We're gonna do this again. Great. I'll just be over here. End of the movie. Horrible special effects. I had as well. For 95.

[Chris Ryan]

I just had the. The paper credit card authorization machine.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, that's a good one.

[Van Lathan]

So I have both of those. The analog thing, I haven't seen one of those in years. And you know what else is so 95. About this movie. Everybody is so thin. Melina thin. Alfred Molina, Thomas thing. Everybody. They. They all look so young when I. Because these actors go on to be people that you see in all kinds of movies. Oh, my God.

[Bill Simmons]

What stage the best. Speaking of molina, just that IMDb stretch for him where it's Species and Boogie Nights within each other. Just impressed. I have. I have a bunch of stuff. You. You go see her.

[Chris Ryan]

Got a couple. Number one is just. Just a quick shot of Madsen watching hockey.

[Bill Simmons]

I was trying to figure out what game that was.

[Chris Ryan]

I think it was a Team USA game. I tried.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. It was an NHL game. I couldn't.

[Chris Ryan]

But just like him being two beers deep watching hockey. When he gets the call.

[Bill Simmons]

He'S like, oh, time to catch the whole third period.

[Chris Ryan]

We. I want to talk about Forest Whitaker and being an empath. The dam. Walking into the train car, seeing a dead woman in the husk of an alien uterus and saying, something bad happened.

[Van Lathan]

Something bad happened here. No, I laughed. Something bad happened here. What are you talking about?

[Chris Ryan]

And.

[Bill Simmons]

I didn't know whether to put them in what stage the best or what stage the worst.

[Chris Ryan]

It's kind of both. But this time around, I was like, this is amazing. Where does this guy work? Is there any certification for his gifts? Yeah, half of it is just like, it's hot in here, right?

[Van Lathan]

Yeah. Like somebody was hot or somebody was hot in here.

[Craig Horlbeck]

They're, like, in a restaurant. And he's like, she was hungry.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

He does like the. She was scared.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like, she probably was scared. She's an alien.

[Craig Horlbeck]

There's moments where he's, like, touching the. Like, the ground, like, the dirt to see which direction she went in. I'm like, what does that have to do with being an.

[Chris Ryan]

It's like Sonny Hayes touching the track.

[Van Lathan]

His powers are completely inconsistent. In the movie. Movie. Does he have the power to know somebody's feelings?

[Bill Simmons]

He knew somebody was at the door before they knocked.

[Chris Ryan]

It's crazy.

[Bill Simmons]

But you might just have crazy hearing.

[Van Lathan]

Well, I don't know. At first, I just thought it was ESP when I first saw the movie. Crazy hearing. Like he's a mutant of some sort.

[Bill Simmons]

Because he heard the guy at the door. Maybe he's just like. He's kind of like an overdeveloped.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Van Lathan]

And then he starts, after a while, throughout the movie, he starts taking her side. Really? He doesn't start taking her. He's on her side the whole time.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Van Lathan]

She's a living being. She's scared.

[Bill Simmons]

That's why she doesn't kill him.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, that's right.

[Bill Simmons]

It's an inexplicable character. And I think a huge part of why I like this movie, because it's. I just can't believe this was the best they could do. They put the least thought into. First of all, what's an empath? Have you ever met one?

[Chris Ryan]

Now it's like, people are like, I'm very empathic, but everyone is an empath.

[Van Lathan]

Now.

[Craig Horlbeck]

It just means you're, like, sensitive.

[Chris Ryan]

As a job, Bill. No, no, as a personality.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Charact.

[Van Lathan]

Like, now for, like, ladies who have.

[Chris Ryan]

Don't worry, you're not.

[Van Lathan]

Right. No, you are the opposite of an empath. Like, okay, you're the opposite, but for ladies that have, like. For ladies that have, like, waist beads and want to know your birth chart and stuff like that.

[Bill Simmons]

But is this a job or.

[Chris Ryan]

It's not a job.

[Bill Simmons]

Social media, like, hobby.

[Van Lathan]

No, it's not a job. It's like that. When you're feeling bad, I feel bad. I'm an empath. I mirror your feelings and all of that. Stuff like that. Yeah, it's a thing.

[Bill Simmons]

So you're basically a golden retriever. Golden retrievers mare their humans. If humans are sad, happy.

[Craig Horlbeck]

How did the CIA know about him?

[Bill Simmons]

They went on empath.com.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, seriously. They were on the 1995 version of. Indeed.

[Van Lathan]

Just like, they tracking him. Like, why?

[Bill Simmons]

So Kalika says to you, hey, Denise is coming over tonight and you're like, the empath.

[Van Lathan]

Exactly.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Van Lathan]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. She's still doing that. Yeah, yeah. No, it's going well. Or some empath sessions, or you're in.

[Van Lathan]

A la conversation at a party. Somebody has a couple of bumps of coke and they go, the thing about me is I'm a fucking impact and I can't handle all of this negativity from everyone.

[Chris Ryan]

If we're talking about Dan, though, I did. I was going to bring this up later, but it's Tony Romo, kind of an empath.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, with. With the.

[Chris Ryan]

Predicting the plays. Yeah, you know, like, because he's like, a little. I guess it's a little bit more predictive rather than react. It would be like if Romo was like. I knew they were gonna blitz Jim, you know, like after the blitz. But there was something like. I was trying to imagine what Dan would be like as an announcer. As a sports announcer.

[Bill Simmons]

Well. Or flip it. Tony Romo in the empath role in this movie. Jim, she got threatened.

[Chris Ryan]

She just wants to procreate. Jim. Natural imperative.

[Bill Simmons]

Very horny.

[Van Lathan]

Before is Whitaker though, for a very long stretch of his career was just an expert at playing weird off kilter characters.

[Chris Ryan]

Yes.

[Van Lathan]

Like fucking Ghost Dog. This oration Harlem, which is a great fucking movie. And he just playing weird. A bigger guy, but could play Mousey real well. Soft spoken real well.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. More what stage the best because I have a couple.

[Chris Ryan]

Laura and Preston. Sex scene.

[Bill Simmons]

Good one. Yeah. It felt frisky.

[Van Lathan]

Oh, that was a. That sex scene was actually hotter than anything that Natasha was into.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Van Lathan]

Cause she was taking charge. I mean, I don't like.

[Bill Simmons]

I like the little fist pump by herself in the hotel room that Madsen showed up.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

She's playing her little game. It actually worked. I could have. I could have watched Natasha shopping in downtown LA for a couple more scenes.

[Van Lathan]

In the bridal dress.

[Chris Ryan]

Like there's no white outfit. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Like imagine you're in downtown LA right now, just popping through different stores. Also, like she should have bought a couple weird things.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, are those headphones?

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah. That she bought? Yeah. That would be funny. Or if she just had like a walk. Man. It was walking around listening.

[Bill Simmons]

I like when aliens, foreigners and grown up kids in adult bodies watch hotel room TVs. I think it's worked over and over again. Borat big. This movie. It's a good gimmick of people. I'm scared. I'll take comfort in this tv. I'm experiencing everything.

[Chris Ryan]

I learned culture.

[Van Lathan]

I like that you see like sex, violence, all of that in one thing.

[Bill Simmons]

How about a science fiction, science fiction, slash horror movie where the black character survives.

[Van Lathan]

That's well notable.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like this is almost a unicorn.

[Van Lathan]

It is. But at the same time.

[Bill Simmons]

Normally he's dead the first hour.

[Van Lathan]

At the same time. They had to stay consistent because that nice sister on the train gets her shit fucked up. So they had to feed them. Like she gets up.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Van Lathan]

She did nothing but be nice.

[Bill Simmons]

Tough death infected rats. It was a good gimmick. Good ending for this.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Probably would have been a better sequel. I don't remember the sequel. I only saw it once. Not in the theater.

[Chris Ryan]

I don't think I saw Species really.

[Bill Simmons]

Really poorly reviewed. Like. Like the kind of reviews were like, just, if you're gonna go see this, like just drive your car. No telephone pole.

[Chris Ryan]

Because what lives. It's just like the little arm still is still moving around and then the rat. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I think we've done this before with. And I forget what movie it was. But sometimes a movie that that's not that big will have this incredibly Detailed Wikipedia page.

[Chris Ryan]

It's so long.

[Bill Simmons]

And it's clear somebody involved with the.

[Van Lathan]

Movie is on there, is.

[Bill Simmons]

Wrote a lot of the stuff. So I do have a suspect. Screenwriter Dennis Feldman. There's just a lot of his process in the Wikipedia page. Like, a lot. When I say a lot. Like, paragraph after paragraph or like, then in the sixth draft, there's more. Dennis Feldman decided to do that. It's like, how do they know any of this?

[Chris Ryan]

There's more in this Wikipedia page than there would be in, like, the Luca Doncic trio Wikipedia page.

[Bill Simmons]

Or, like, the actual James Cameron alien movie. Like aliens, too. Like that. Like, I. I just couldn't believe how detailed it was. And I just was picturing. I don't know if he did it or not, but this Dennis Feldman. Like, I'm gonna add one more thing to the computer. I gotta tell them about the seventh draft of this movie. When I had the idea.

[Chris Ryan]

It is actually suspiciously like. It's really. They were like. It went through many rewrites, but everything you see is courtesy of Dennis Feldman.

[Van Lathan]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

Right. There's one part where they brought in. Yeah. Where they brought in a second screenwriter. And they just specifically say. But none of that was used. In the end. They went with Dennis Feldman's work. It was like, who cares?

[Chris Ryan]

Many people are saying, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Also for what stage? The best. This is in the director's commentary. CR Alluded to this before. Madsen said Ben Kingsley was protective of his chair on set and didn't like anyone touching it. So Madsen would purposely do things to it, including dumping garbage on it and hanging it from a crane.

[Chris Ryan]

It's really funny.

[Bill Simmons]

Ben Kings is just like, how many more fucking days do I have on this movie? 2. Damn it. Any other, I would say it's the best. Other than when the government has to go outside the box.

[Van Lathan]

I like a hunt or chase movie. When you get a ragtag group of people to solve a problem. Hey, I'm a microbiologist. I'm an empath. I'm this. Oh. Each one of these persons expert in their field and is the only team that could crack the case.

[Chris Ryan]

I love that.

[Van Lathan]

I love that.

[Bill Simmons]

I still feel like when he said he was an empath, I would have had, like, five more questions.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah. Be like, so. But like, is that like a. Do you get paid for that freelancer thing?

[Bill Simmons]

Can you work for a sports team?

[Van Lathan]

I have to say something real quick before we move on.

[Bill Simmons]

What's here.

[Van Lathan]

Dennis Feldman is one of my favorite motherfuckers in the world. The movies that Dennis Feldman has done just one of the guys. All time Van Lathan classic.

[Bill Simmons]

It's on the rewatchable schedule.

[Van Lathan]

The Golden Child.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, wow. That was a formative classic for me.

[Van Lathan]

Dennis Feldman wrote it. This movie, which I never know how many people have seen this movie. Have you guys seen a movie called Real Men with John Ritter and Jim Belushi? Where that is one of my favorite.

[Chris Ryan]

I have a very cool Real Men story. When I was a kid, I went to film camp in. In. In Maine. It was pretty fun. And one of the things that we did was when we learned editing, they had this famous editor, Ralph Rosenbaum, who did like Andy hall and a bunch of other stuff, but he showed us Real Men. He showed us the version of Real Men before he like went back in and cut it. And it was like so bad. But then when he. He was like. And here's what I did. You were like, oh my God. The editor is the most important person on the set. Like, or the most important, important person in the productions. It was very cool.

[Bill Simmons]

Can we go back to film camp? Yeah, I would love what was going on.

[Van Lathan]

Any.

[Bill Simmons]

Any girls?

[Chris Ryan]

No, there was. It was a largely male thing. I. I wound up starring in and directing a short called the Dirty Bag, which is about a kid on a BMX bike who finds like a bag of drug money and then gets chased by hitman across this town in Maine.

[Craig Horlbeck]

We got footage of this.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, I still have it.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, we put it on ringer movies.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah, that's a pretty good premise.

[Chris Ryan]

It's tough because a lot of it is scored to Jimi Hendrix, but we.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Did not clear that.

[Van Lathan]

And Zeppelin, I'm telling you.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah. Brockheimer's like writing a hundred million dollar checks to Led Zeppelin. I'm like, I got that.

[Van Lathan]

86, 687. You get Christian Slater, you put him on the BMX. Yeah, he was like a glimpse.

[Chris Ryan]

It was very. It was very inspired by rad and gleaming the cube.

[Van Lathan]

Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

This now sounds like an A24 coming of age story of CR at film camp 30 years ago.

[Van Lathan]

Right.

[Chris Ryan]

It was awesome.

[Bill Simmons]

There was no girl. Like, there was no wannabe actress maybe situation.

[Van Lathan]

Maybe there are different experiences that could be had at CR's film camp.

[Bill Simmons]

Not gonna judge. You have any. What's age? The best fan or can we move on?

[Van Lathan]

That's just the, the, the, the. The hunt type chase movie. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Big Hoona burger were for best use of food or drink. All the. That little kid ate in the train. Great scene.

[Chris Ryan]

Banana with the peel still on puddings.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, the banana the peel on is great.

[Van Lathan]

The Long Island Iced Teas.

[Bill Simmons]

That's a good one.

[Chris Ryan]

That's a good one.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Great shot, Gordo. Most cinematic shot.

[Chris Ryan]

Need to say this movie was shot by Andre Bartoviak, who did a bunch of Sydney Lumet stuff. He like shot like Prince of the City. He shot Speed. And it was just like that moment where like some of the greatest cinematographers would be like, yeah, I guess I'm shooting species.

[Van Lathan]

Right.

[Chris Ryan]

So I think I don't have a shot, but it looks pretty good.

[Bill Simmons]

I was going to say the her coming out of the cocoon and the train. Yeah, that's good because they had to invert the train to make it work so she could fall the way they did.

[Chris Ryan]

I think they also did a really good job making the Biltmore look awesome.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Downtown, which I've never actually been.

[Bill Simmons]

We forgot to say this was directed by Roger Donaldson, who did some fun ones over the years, including no Way Out. Oh, yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

How many Down Craig loves.

[Bill Simmons]

Craig loved no Way.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Craig Horlbeck]

That movie rips.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah. That's a very cray coated movie, though.

[Chris Ryan]

Did he do Air Force One?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Because I'm secretly Russian spy.

[Bill Simmons]

I think he did.

[Van Lathan]

Could be.

[Bill Simmons]

Craig didn't think Sean Young was hot in that movie, though.

[Van Lathan]

Craig, you're off your rock.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Not hot, not good in it.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Van Lathan]

No. So, no, not beautiful.

[Craig Horlbeck]

You know Sean Young. I knew about Sean Young from Ace Ventura.

[Van Lathan]

Pet Detective. Oh, that colored your. That changes. Finkel, Ironhorn, your guy.

[Bill Simmons]

Roger Donaldson also did the Getaway.

[Chris Ryan]

We've done Sneak. He also did Cocktail.

[Bill Simmons]

He did. That's why he's one of the great directors.

[Chris Ryan]

And I think we might do 13 days at some point.

[Van Lathan]

Oh, I like that.

[Bill Simmons]

Possible. And the Recruit with your guy.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, look with Colin, cool movies.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah, just like cool movies.

[Bill Simmons]

The Cadillac man, which people liked. He did the Bounty.

[Van Lathan]

As far as shots, though, what about the defining shot of this movie, which I feel like was the tongue coming through the back of the guy's head. Cinematic. Maybe not so, but like very affecting in selling your film.

[Chris Ryan]

Probably the most memorable shot, right.

[Bill Simmons]

It won Best kiss at the 1996 MTV Movie Awards.

[Chris Ryan]

And they recreated the Kiss because it's not the head thing.

[Bill Simmons]

Kid Cudi, Pursuit of Happiness were for best needle drop. I couldn't. The 90s.

[Chris Ryan]

I think in ID they are listening to the Crystal Method, which is a very 90s.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I think that could have dialed that up. That could have gone really early on edm. Yeah, like early, early Moby, somebody like that. We could have been like, oh, oh, shit. Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Tricky on the alien. They weren't about to go give Moby any cash.

[Bill Simmons]

Chess Rockwell. Brock Leonard's or best character name. Xavier Fitch is Ben Kingsley's name.

[Chris Ryan]

I think that sounds like.

[Van Lathan]

Preston Lennox is a crazy second round.

[Bill Simmons]

Draft pick for the Cleveland Cavaliers. They took Xavier Fitch, the combo guard. Preston Lennox is good though. So we're adding the Ed Norton reverse dunk award for. Did this movie need a random sports scene? I. I have mine.

[Chris Ryan]

I have mine as well.

[Bill Simmons]

Go. What's yours?

[Chris Ryan]

Why, when Syl is sleeping at the beach, why can't she stop by the Venice Courts and do a white. White man can't jump Just hustle some dudes.

[Bill Simmons]

It's. It's glaring. I mean, there's so many missed opportunities in this movie that I just wish there had been a conciliary for. But she wakes up, there should definitely be a basketball game going on. She should be watching it. One of the players should hit on her. And that's just like a quick kill that could have taken like 90.

[Craig Horlbeck]

It probably would have been beach volleyball, let's be honest.

[Van Lathan]

Maybe. But.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, but can you imagine her blocking a shot and destroying the ball like, or something. And she's been like, oh.

[Bill Simmons]

Or her wandering on a beach volleyball court naked and just.

[Van Lathan]

They're all out there playing. But the movie I have, the movie is missing the Lakers. The Lakers should have been in there somewhere because It's a very LA movie.

[Chris Ryan]

95 Lakers is.

[Bill Simmons]

She goes to a Laker game.

[Van Lathan]

Like she goes to a Laker game.

[Bill Simmons]

Probably Clipper game is more realistic because.

[Van Lathan]

She can get in for like $3.

[Bill Simmons]

She studies the cheerleaders and then just ends up replacing.

[Chris Ryan]

This would have been early McDice on the Clippers. Brett Barry. She may, you know, she could have been like Brent Barry. She could have met at the club maybe.

[Van Lathan]

Boy, if Brit Barry would have played Stanley Roberts.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, Stanley Sierra. What do you have for a flex category?

[Chris Ryan]

I have the Georgia be two weeks with pay van and I can, can, can cook on this one. But Xavier Finch seems like he has a lot of responsibility with very little oversight and just takes too many chances.

[Van Lathan]

Ben Kingsley is horrible in all aspects.

[Chris Ryan]

First of all, like, if you've got the entire military at your disposal, there's a lot more effective ways to kill an alien than gassing it. I guess that was supposed to be humane. I don't know. But like, it just seemed like she, she checkmates that and they're like, fuck, I guess we lost her. Like there's no stop safeguards against her getting out, by the way.

[Bill Simmons]

You can't. We can't tell. The trains would shut down. Yeah, you're aware.

[Van Lathan]

You're aware of her biology. You have not come up with a satisfactory way to kill her. You have not come up with a satisfactory way to.

[Chris Ryan]

Well, you fucked it up so much that you have to kill her, right? Then you. When the alien shows up in the form of an adorable. You use the most Bond villain method possible to kill her. And then when that fucks up, you hire a bunch of nerds. Instead of getting like Seal Team 6 to go after her, right?

[Van Lathan]

You would get the Delta Force. You would get the Delta Force, put them in plain clothes, right? Those guys look like average guys. They're special forces operators. And then you'd go out there and fire.

[Chris Ryan]

And how many people know that they're chasing an alien? Because aren't more people, like, why are we hunting this girl? Like, she's. She's like the supervillain. Because he says in the beginning, like, I don't want everybody to find out that there's extra. Extraterrestrial life.

[Bill Simmons]

So we're trying to keep these four random people. Yeah, yeah. It's missing a scene where he tells.

[Van Lathan]

Dan the empath, right?

[Bill Simmons]

Well, that's what he tells his boss. So what's plan B? It's like, well, I got this empath I've been looking at.

[Van Lathan]

At the end of the day.

[Bill Simmons]

Bring him in.

[Van Lathan]

The microbiologist has the fucking vest on with the rifle. She had the Erica Eleniac it from Under Siege and they ended up becoming a strike team at that time.

[Bill Simmons]

That's a good rewatchables category. The Erika Lineak Under Siege award for how do you know how to work, like random person, terrible weapons.

[Chris Ryan]

Gaul Adjacent Awards. Can we have in one movie.

[Bill Simmons]

He's a hero.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Butch's girlfriend award. Weak link of the film is the last 12 minutes.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, I had the girl that she kidnaps.

[Van Lathan]

Terrible.

[Chris Ryan]

That's just like. It actually doesn't matter that she's in the car that much. Yeah, they napalm that whole thing anyway. So I don't really know if they're like excavating it and it's just like 10 extra minutes.

[Bill Simmons]

Tough as death in the movie for you. That girl getting tortured and her finger cut off and then driving to her.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, that's right. They get the DNA from that, but that's still stupid.

[Bill Simmons]

What was the worst way to die in this movie?

[Van Lathan]

Oh, the worst way to die for Me was Alfred Molina because he had a high and then a low, and he was experiencing counter.

[Bill Simmons]

Great way to go out.

[Chris Ryan]

I'd rather be Melina than the girl on the toilet, maybe.

[Van Lathan]

But Melina, there's always. Have you guys ever been in a situation where things are going really good and then they start going really bad? That one moment of realizing that you fucked up because this stuff never happens to you must be so profound. So I felt really bad for him. Cause he did nothing wrong.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Van Lathan]

She comes up to him, he goes, this kind of thing doesn't happen to me. And he's not like the other guy.

[Chris Ryan]

Well, he shouldn't have mansplained about how conception works. You know, That'll teach him.

[Bill Simmons]

I think he probably could have sniffed it out a little sooner. Yes. Something was up.

[Van Lathan]

Sniffed it out? Sniff what up?

[Bill Simmons]

Smoking hot, who just has, like, this obviously badly dyed hair who looks just.

[Chris Ryan]

Like the woman they've been chasing, who.

[Bill Simmons]

Immediately wants to mate with him. He was.

[Van Lathan]

So you're saying it's his fault?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, he was asking for it a little bit.

[Van Lathan]

There you go.

[Bill Simmons]

I have the last 12 minutes. Once we get in the sewer once. Once Natasha is not Natasha anymore, this movie becomes a pretty conventional B movie. What stage the Worst Species, too. Matson said it's lousy. I only did it for the paycheck. You could feel it. We talked about Forest Whitaker. We talked about Hollywood Hills guy.

[Van Lathan]

I got one more thing.

[Bill Simmons]

One more.

[Van Lathan]

But you go the Long Island Iced Tea. Nobody drinks those anymore.

[Bill Simmons]

No, because I think people, like, black out after.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, I think they got a bad rap.

[Van Lathan]

They got a bad rap also. I remember they had their. Have a ton of calories, Right. They're very calorie dense. And then you have two of them. You're like, no, Craig.

[Bill Simmons]

Long Island Iced Teas still at the clubs.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah, they're still around. To be honest, I don't drink them a lot because they're too potent. But, yeah, people still getting them.

[Chris Ryan]

I gotta say. Also, the Long Island Ace Tea thing is, are we supposed to believe Dan doesn't drink because he's Muslim?

[Van Lathan]

Oh, maybe it's kind of up that.

[Chris Ryan]

Molina's just like, nah, nah, nah. We're gonna. We're gonna slip you some alcohol even though your religious beliefs prohibit you from drinking.

[Van Lathan]

Molina's asking for it.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I have. For what stage the worst. All the missed opportunities for Natasha to find a mate in Hollywood that they just left on the table because she really only goes back to the same club once. Easily could have gone to the Viper Room. Easily could have gone to the bar and swing. The place in Swingers where the old people Marty and Elaine play.

[Chris Ryan]

Can you imagine Canter Sil Mikey from.

[Bill Simmons]

I would have wanted some Hollywood landmarks. Goes to Canter. She just wants some corn.

[Van Lathan]

Look at that beautiful baby that just walked in. I'm going to talk to that beautiful baby and all fun get.

[Chris Ryan]

But it's like if Fabro from swingers calls S5 times, is she just like, yes. Hi. Would you love to have a baby?

[Bill Simmons]

I thought there was some Santa Monica. That whole area they just left on the table. There was some outdoor pool bar scene they could have had. I don't know why they kept going back to the club. Kingsley's like, this is what she knows. Like, how does he know she's a fucking mutated alien? He's. He. He has experience.

[Chris Ryan]

I. It's. It's a. It's a great question.

[Bill Simmons]

The Ruffalo hand and Rubinic Partridge overacting word. Is it Forest Whitaker?

[Van Lathan]

It has to be. But this is actually an underacted movie.

[Chris Ryan]

I would say it's Forest Whitaker for the entire film, but Kingsley for the single tier. Yeah, this is like, what kind of combination doesn't really work of drops?

[Bill Simmons]

Do you think we might have to drop it from our movie recipe? All right, one more break and then we'll keep going.

[Van Lathan]

Hey, guys, have you heard of Goldbelly? It's this amazing site where they ship.

[Bill Simmons]

The most iconic famous foods from restaurants.

[Van Lathan]

Across the country anywhere, nationwide. I've never found a more perfect gift than food. Gold belly ship. Chicago deep dish pizza, New York bagels, Maine lobster rolls and even Ina Garden's famous cakes. So if you're looking for a gift for the food lover in your life, head to goldbelly.com and get 20% off your first order with promo code GIFT. That's goldbelly.com promo code GIFT.

[Bill Simmons]

All right. The CR thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Ford hottest. Take a word. Do you guys have one?

[Chris Ryan]

Would this movie have been more interesting if the alien was like a six, not an uggo, but like. But like just like at the club. And guys are like, yeah, yeah. Well, I guess then it's harder for.

[Van Lathan]

Her to find a mate, right?

[Chris Ryan]

And it becomes almost like a rom com where she's just like, ah, none.

[Van Lathan]

Of these guys want to go home with me.

[Chris Ryan]

Like an LA6.

[Bill Simmons]

It would have fit in that rom com era where there was something wrong with every woman who just wanted to find love.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

In her case, it's like, I don't know guys.

[Chris Ryan]

It's not like Debbie Downer kind of, but like, it's just like. You imagine she was like five. Five people are like, yeah, sure. No, LA is crazy. It's, you know, it's hard to get to know anyone here.

[Bill Simmons]

Waiting in line to the club for an hour and a half.

[Chris Ryan]

Going in, she's like, will you give me a baby? And everybody's like, no, but that's nice to meet you. Like.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh my God, that killed me. What do you have, Van? Anything?

[Van Lathan]

Um, just. It's gonna be really on the nose. The movie should have had more fucking. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

This should have been either a hard R or an NC17.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah, it should have.

[Bill Simmons]

That's a great call.

[Van Lathan]

They should have. The movie should have had more fucking. Like there should have been more fucking in the movie. Cause like they. A lot of the stuff that they had in there was stuff that we didn't need to see. Like as soon as she becomes grown up woman on the train, she'll pull somebody in the room them on the train.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah. I don't know what her biological imperative is. Like, is it like I needed to mate immediately?

[Van Lathan]

Should have been that she what?

[Bill Simmons]

Well, her. The imperative is I need to take over the human race.

[Chris Ryan]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

With my babies.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Right. My hottest take. It's gonna step on a later category. Are you scared?

[Chris Ryan]

No, I'm just.

[Bill Simmons]

I just think this should have been a TV show. And I think you can make the case that if this is an HBO show in 1995, it becomes the first great cable one hour show that we have.

[Chris Ryan]

Do you want to sustain the level of nudity that Henstridge is?

[Bill Simmons]

I think you almost have to think about it like True Blood. Like it's just like this is a horny crazy.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And it's like almost like cross the 24 oddball.

[Van Lathan]

Campy.

[Bill Simmons]

It's one week, they can't find her. She's just in LA doing all this different shit. And it's like when she meets the Hollywood Hills guy, that's almost like half of an episode. It's like, you know what I mean?

[Chris Ryan]

X Files comes out two years before this. But you could talk me into Madsen and Helgenberger being like Mulder and Scully and they're totally kind of chasing. But in the meantime there's other mysteries for them to solve.

[Van Lathan]

There's mute different types of mutants because this government agency is doing all kinds of crazy.

[Chris Ryan]

But also like still must have kids by then. So it's like, I just think this.

[Bill Simmons]

Is a rare case of there's so much in this movie and they just rip through it in an hour and a half. And it's like, there's like nine things that would have worked for a TV show.

[Chris Ryan]

Dennis Feldman is listening, going, I know it.

[Bill Simmons]

Is Wikipedia adding to it? No, but it's. It's like. I just think in 95, this would have been like a transformative show. It wasn't a one hour like this. Like sopranos was until 99. Yeah. You know, Oz was 97. So you'd be like, basically species. And Oz would have been on hbo. Would add nudity, which fit the HBO thing.

[Van Lathan]

Do you think there was a audience for it on HBO at that time?

[Bill Simmons]

Hundred thousand percent.

[Van Lathan]

They were. So they were in there.

[Chris Ryan]

At the very least, this would have been like a cool Cinemax show.

[Van Lathan]

Oh, Cinemax would have been Cinemax doing it.

[Bill Simmons]

The only one HBO and Showtime were the only two doing that would have done a drama like this. I think maybe the alien stuff would have been too expensive. But you could have made it. So we didn't really see the aliens.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, maybe once a year.

[Bill Simmons]

You didn't need the season finale.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I just think it would have ripped and they could have like Madsen, you could have killed her off after the first season. And then Madsen and Marge become like, attacked him. I don't know. A lot of stuff there. Casting what ifs. Pierce Brosnan was offered a part but couldn't do it because he had goldeneye. But then ended up working with Roger Donaldson on Dante's Peak. So what part do we think?

[Chris Ryan]

I think it was Kingsley.

[Bill Simmons]

You think so?

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

You think Kingsley found out and was like this, mailing it everything. Now I'll give you the single tear and that's it, you motherfuckers.

[Chris Ryan]

Who knows?

[Bill Simmons]

Who knows if this is true? But Arnold Schwarzenegger was briefly interested in the script, but the budget wouldn't allow him.

[Chris Ryan]

I assume that would be Lennox. Yeah.

[Van Lathan]

Would have been a totally different movie if he was involved.

[Bill Simmons]

He said, what if. What if? What if press fucks the alien before he kills that.

[Chris Ryan]

What if they wanted Schwarzenegger for the impact. Somebody didn't. Somebody did not stand Top Fitness here.

[Bill Simmons]

Best that Guy Award.

[Van Lathan]

It's not Whip.

[Bill Simmons]

It's Whip. Yeah, he won before on St. Elmo's Fire.

[Chris Ryan]

Hollywood from Top Gun, man. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Those are his best three. Great, great IMDb DM waiters award.

[Chris Ryan]

Michelle.

[Bill Simmons]

Sure, she's good.

[Van Lathan]

You know what?

[Bill Simmons]

I gave Hollywood Hills Date Rape guys a pretty good villain. Five Minutes.

[Van Lathan]

Did a co. Co winner. All the dead guys besides Molina. All the dead guys, all the victims, Robbie, they all have to. They all have to have their little Dion Waiters moment and then get killed.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I like the Michelle Williams. That's odd recasting couch Director city. Ironically, Van brought him up before, but I had Vince Vaughn playing Hollywood Hills guy instead of Nick Wright. He's like, look at this beautiful baby. What are you doing? Let me take you back to my crib. Let's party. And he's just like, full Vince Vaughn.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And then she kills him.

[Van Lathan]

What if.

[Chris Ryan]

And he's like. Brings her back and he's like, let's just play NHL 95 all night.

[Bill Simmons]

But Betty sue is here.

[Van Lathan]

Nick Wright. Nick Wright. You'll end up having to do a podcast with Nick Wright. You're gonna get mad.

[Bill Simmons]

What is he gonna get mad about it? He looks like it. First of all, it was CR. CR's gonna have to invite him on the watch.

[Van Lathan]

Nick.

[Chris Ryan]

We gotta squash it. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, Craig is a flex category.

[Van Lathan]

I.

[Craig Horlbeck]

They're honestly both tweaks of things that Chris and Van have already said. So one was the did this movie need a better sex scene? I agree with Van. I thought it was a huge missed opportunity to not get Madsen and her in a room. I thought that's what the whole movie was leading up to.

[Chris Ryan]

That's like. There's a flash.

[Craig Horlbeck]

She has like fantasies of him.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah. I wonder if she's like that. What?

[Van Lathan]

I feel like a proud dad. Craig. Man, when I first started doing this shit, Craig was like, it's too many titties in the Ace. And look at him now. Bonafide freak. Tell us about the scene, Craig.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Look, this movie's about this. You know what I mean? There's not an unnecessary nudity in the movie. It's what the movie is about. But I'm like, there should have been like a love triangle where he's in the room with Sil with the brown hair. And then Dr. Baker comes in and is like, who's this? And there should have been something with that. Or it all led up to that moment.

[Bill Simmons]

Or he has sex with Marge. Fall. They fall asleep. Marge goes to like, go to the bathroom or something and so comes in. He thinks it's Marge. They did the single way female. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Van Lathan]

Works.

[Chris Ryan]

Do you. Do you think that, like. Because she senses the weakness in Robbie and then the dude in the hot tub is like, oh, no, that's too fast. But she's having visions of Madsen. Is Madsen kind of like the alpha? Like, he's like the. The best.

[Bill Simmons]

The best of the best take over the universe.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Craig Horlbeck]

She had to settle for Molina because she was in a hurry.

[Chris Ryan]

Gotcha.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Because she like the next day she's what, 48? She's going fast.

[Chris Ryan]

One of my unanswerable questions is like, what Sil's. What's her aging like? Like, does she just turn into Betty White in a week or what?

[Bill Simmons]

Substance too. Half ass Internet. Half ass Internet research. So was designed by HR Geiger.

[Chris Ryan]

Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

Who designed the creatures in the Alien films.

[Van Lathan]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

Do you know there was an Aliens too.

[Van Lathan]

Odds. Yeah. Okay.

[Craig Horlbeck]

It's not. Chris wants to do Aliens. That's it. That's the whole joke.

[Van Lathan]

And Bill doesn't want to do it.

[Bill Simmons]

No.

[Van Lathan]

It should be.

[Bill Simmons]

It's. We're gonna do it.

[Chris Ryan]

He's gonna wait for me to go on vacation.

[Bill Simmons]

Trying to. So Geiger was unhappy. He thought the movie ripped off too many other Alien movies, including.

[Chris Ryan]

He did the Alien.

[Bill Simmons]

The Chest Buster. They did that like. They did Species does things that have been in other movies. And apparently he got holier than now about it.

[Van Lathan]

But he worked on it.

[Bill Simmons]

He did. But he got. He got mad about.

[Chris Ryan]

They gave him like all the money.

[Bill Simmons]

Like they.

[Chris Ryan]

They're like, we're not even paying Madsen so that you do these aliens.

[Bill Simmons]

So then he threw his body in front of whatever the ending initially was and they ended up doing the headshot kill instead. Because that hadn't been an Alien movie, I. My advice would have been like a mild settle down for him.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

These are Alien movies. The. The ID club was built in the Pantages Theater.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, no.

[Bill Simmons]

Very special.

[Chris Ryan]

How about that?

[Bill Simmons]

There's not really.

[Chris Ryan]

We talked about a bunch of it.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Van Lathan]

We.

[Bill Simmons]

We hit basically everything except. Ala Molina recalled, Natasha Henstridge was nervous on the day of their sex scene because she'd never acted one before. And he said, I've never been in one either. But he. With a woman. Because he had apparently been in one with a man in a movie. And it broke the ice.

[Van Lathan]

Oh yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

He's very excited about that. I think I've called her Hentridge for the past hour. Hentridge. Just call her Natasha. She should have dumped the last name. I think she could have done it.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, like Madonna star.

[Bill Simmons]

Introducing Natasha. Apex Mountain. Clearly Natasha for sure.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah, for sure.

[Bill Simmons]

Madsen.

[Chris Ryan]

I would say probably Reservoir Dogs or.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, but Reservoir Dogs. Like didn't. Wasn't a big thing in the movies. It Became a thing. By 95, after people had been watching.

[Chris Ryan]

True Romance or VHS.

[Van Lathan]

There's just no possible way that this is his Apex model.

[Bill Simmons]

This movie made over $100 million. Maybe.

[Van Lathan]

Honestly.

[Chris Ryan]

And he's.

[Bill Simmons]

I think it was.

[Chris Ryan]

I think you're right.

[Bill Simmons]

I think by 95, Reservoir Dogs had been, like, on VHS, had become a thing. I didn't see Reservoir Dogs for at least a year.

[Van Lathan]

I know. There's just no way.

[Bill Simmons]

This was a big movie, man.

[Van Lathan]

I get it. There's just. It's. If you. If you were to say to somebody, Michael Madsen, they name, like, five movies before they name this movie.

[Bill Simmons]

This is that range, though, right? Like he passed up Pulp Fiction. Like, he probably has the most juice right around there.

[Van Lathan]

You mean at this time I can.

[Bill Simmons]

Maybe buy that Marge at csi?

[Van Lathan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Definitely it. Ben Kingsley. No. Horny Alien movies. I don't know what the competition is, and I also don't know why we're not making more of them.

[Van Lathan]

They should.

[Bill Simmons]

Should be every five years.

[Van Lathan]

Alien want to.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, we really lost that as a society.

[Van Lathan]

We have.

[Bill Simmons]

Bring it back, Whitaker. No. Mid 90s BMW convertibles. This is a really good one. There's some. There's a sideswipe thing on it near the end. It's like they cut a scene where she must add an accident on the way to the beach. She.

[Chris Ryan]

And then she wakes up and she's like. She's got her cars all up.

[Van Lathan]

What is homie driving in? Speed.

[Bill Simmons]

I think it was a BMW convertible.

[Chris Ryan]

That was a BMW convertible. And then what's the one that's on the Frank Ocean cover?

[Van Lathan]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a nice stuff.

[Chris Ryan]

Is that BMW?

[Van Lathan]

I. I'm not sure. I have to think about it.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't have any of their apex mounts.

[Chris Ryan]

Me neither.

[Bill Simmons]

Cruiser Hanks. What do you got?

[Van Lathan]

Just tough.

[Chris Ryan]

This is really hard.

[Bill Simmons]

You can go any age range of Cruise or Hanks.

[Chris Ryan]

I was told I couldn't do that last week.

[Bill Simmons]

No, you can.

[Chris Ryan]

Okay. I would probably give.

[Bill Simmons]

You tried to cheat last week.

[Chris Ryan]

No, I tried to give him one.

[Bill Simmons]

Of, like, the lesser roll. How about.

[Van Lathan]

Who.

[Chris Ryan]

Literally, one of the guys she picks up is. Is Cocktail Cruise Or.

[Bill Simmons]

Or Magnolia. Cruise.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah. Oh, Magnolia.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, he's Hollywood Hills guy.

[Van Lathan]

The long hair. Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

That's good.

[Bill Simmons]

I was gonna say Cruise now in the Ben Kingsley role.

[Van Lathan]

Interesting.

[Bill Simmons]

Doing a couple, like, old man Tom Cruise things, but he'd probably.

[Chris Ryan]

But it's Cruise, not Hanks. I don't see Hanks being able to keep his straight face in this Movie.

[Van Lathan]

I got Cruz as the Michael Madsen guy. Gets him running. You gotta run after the A.

[Bill Simmons]

Does get him running.

[Van Lathan]

You got. He's very dynamic. You can get more things. Maybe a couple of great stunts.

[Bill Simmons]

Natasha's probably like 2 inches taller than him. That'd be a problem.

[Van Lathan]

She's probably 2 inches taller, but at that point, she's also. If Cruz is in the movie, she's going to have to be between 20 and 25 years old anyway.

[Bill Simmons]

Scorsese or Spielberg?

[Van Lathan]

Spielberg. Spielberg.

[Bill Simmons]

I had Scorsese.

[Chris Ryan]

Interesting.

[Bill Simmons]

I wanted his gritty sex alien movie with steeped in catholic guilt.

[Van Lathan]

What's the most sci fi he's ever done? Like Shutter Island.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, I think you're right.

[Bill Simmons]

Instead of an empath, it's a catholic priest.

[Chris Ryan]

Last Temptation of Christ.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Van Lathan]

Sci fi.

[Bill Simmons]

Philip Seymour Hoffman role, probably. The Molina part.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, that or the guy who. The Palisades guy.

[Van Lathan]

But the Molina part is pretty perfect for him.

[Chris Ryan]

Hey, let's take a picture.

[Bill Simmons]

Palisades guy, he had a polaroid camera. He had a charcuterie board. What a quiet neighborhood. Nice guy, you know, Also just got promoted.

[Van Lathan]

Hey, this is fast for me. Hey. He just wants to wine and dine a little bit. And what does he get?

[Chris Ryan]

Do you think that's the Dennis Feldman avatar? You think Dennis saw himself as the Palisades guy?

[Bill Simmons]

You should put that in the Wikipedia. I had that. I'll just do this now for picking nits. Anyone in 1995 turning down sex or being like, this is too fast?

[Van Lathan]

Especially that guy.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, you want. Really? We ready?

[Van Lathan]

What's the purpose of having a mansion in the Palisades with a pool if sex and a hot tub in a.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Hot tube up, though? Because she said everything's kind of going fine.

[Chris Ryan]

And then she makes it.

[Craig Horlbeck]

She's like, I want a baby. And he's like, ah, I think someone's at the door.

[Bill Simmons]

Don't go, please.

[Van Lathan]

I want a baby.

[Bill Simmons]

What?

[Van Lathan]

Excuse me.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I feel like that's reasonable.

[Bill Simmons]

It was almost like she hadn't had social interactions. Craig. For 24 hours.

[Van Lathan]

I'm going. Okay. I'm going to. All right.

[Chris Ryan]

It's full send.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, we rarely get to do this category. How would Van Lathan get out of this one?

[Craig Horlbeck]

He wouldn't.

[Chris Ryan]

So, yeah, clearly.

[Bill Simmons]

Single Van brings Syl back to the crib, and she's moving really fast, and you realize she might be an alien. How do you get out of it?

[Van Lathan]

Okay, so I realized that she might be an alien.

[Bill Simmons]

Or you realize Something is way off and you need to. You need to abort the night. How do you. How do you get her out of the house?

[Van Lathan]

Oh, how do I get her out of the house?

[Bill Simmons]

How do you get out of the house? How do you not?

[Van Lathan]

Well, that's never gonna happen. I'm gonna do something different.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay.

[Van Lathan]

That's how you get out of it, Right? So I realized that she's an alien. I say, look, you don't have to kill me after we have sex, because we're going to have sex.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Van Lathan]

I'm gonna take.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm gonna kill you.

[Chris Ryan]

What you want, right? You don't have to pray Mantis.

[Bill Simmons]

We're in the same cave.

[Van Lathan]

You don't have to pray in Mantis.

[Chris Ryan]

This.

[Van Lathan]

What's better than one alien baby? Five.

[Chris Ryan]

And. And I'll be there for the housework.

[Van Lathan]

And I'll be there.

[Bill Simmons]

You can pump these things back. We'll start again. Pump that baby out. Ready Right now.

[Van Lathan]

Right. Let's be honest. You want to start a whole new world. This one hasn't been particularly good for my people.

[Chris Ryan]

I'm with it.

[Van Lathan]

Like, like, like, let's go for it. Me and you against the world, baby.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. So team up.

[Van Lathan]

Team up.

[Bill Simmons]

That's how you get out of it.

[Van Lathan]

That's how I get out of it.

[Bill Simmons]

I like it. Picking nits. My favorite one in this whole movie, Madsen's character, this tough guy, the first time we see him, he's handing a cat to his cat sitter.

[Van Lathan]

Awesome moment.

[Chris Ryan]

I have a feeling that was a Madsen be like, you know what would throw people off is if I had a cat.

[Bill Simmons]

It's so stupid.

[Chris Ryan]

Donaldson's like, whatever, man. I just need to shot him.

[Bill Simmons]

How is it not like a rottweiler or some sort of cool Michael Madsen dog?

[Van Lathan]

He's got.

[Chris Ryan]

He's probably on the road a lot. Dogs need a lot more, you know.

[Bill Simmons]

That's ridiculous. The train porter clothes, just a horrific murder. People walk in, it's like, oh, my God, it stinks. There's a cocoon on the wall. There's blood everywhere. And Natasha is wearing her clothes out. Clean as a clean.

[Van Lathan]

And they fit.

[Bill Simmons]

Not a stain.

[Chris Ryan]

And they fit, and they fit, and they fit.

[Van Lathan]

I don't want to, you know, but the sister on the train and they.

[Chris Ryan]

Didn'T have the same body.

[Van Lathan]

They didn't have the same body type. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

How did they follow her from the club to the Hollywood Hills house is never explained.

[Chris Ryan]

Well, because the, the, the doorman is like, oh, yeah, Robbie.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah, Robbie.

[Chris Ryan]

Took home a pretty good chick tonight.

[Bill Simmons]

Doorman just knows where Robbie lives.

[Chris Ryan]

Well, they had to convince him. They were like, you know, the usual. Because Dan is like, it would be a nice guy.

[Van Lathan]

Right. And they go, robbie's a nice guy. Which he turns out not to be.

[Chris Ryan]

No, he's not.

[Bill Simmons]

But I don't think the doorman knows Robbie's home address.

[Chris Ryan]

But maybe Robbie was, like, just low blood sugar.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Not to make excuses for his behavior.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah. Maybe he was right. I get it.

[Bill Simmons]

Could they really figure out semen in the hot tub water in 10 minutes, which is what happens in this movie?

[Chris Ryan]

I mean, if they could just check.

[Bill Simmons]

There'S no semen in the hot tub. It's like, you guys just got here. Can we do that that fast?

[Chris Ryan]

What if they were like, we just checked this water. It's all semen. So this guy has been doing work up here in the Palestine.

[Van Lathan]

This guy's throwing ropes.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, my God. It's all semen. Any other nitpicks?

[Chris Ryan]

That is an incredibly nice motel manager for the Sahara. I don't get the impression that that is, like, guys who are really interested in customer service or, you know.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Safety.

[Bill Simmons]

You forgot your card, lady.

[Chris Ryan]

Hey, you forgot your card. And, you know, you could go dancing. It id. It's just like, he's just really nice guy. Where it should be like, I'm gonna human traffic her.

[Van Lathan]

That is my nitpick. People weren't horny enough for her. Yeah, she's in la. Like, no. There's not one scene where someone goes, jesus Christ, you should be modeling.

[Chris Ryan]

She's bumping into the nicest people.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah. So people weren't horny enough for her. And just everything else I've talked about. They put a microbiologist in combat later on in this movie.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Van Lathan]

Like, you know, come on, man.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I got one, Nick.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Craig Horlbeck]

After the hot tub murder, she's still on the loose. And Ben Kingsley's like, let's go home, get some sleep.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah. He's like, let's go home and crush tape. It's okay.

[Bill Simmons]

Matt's is like, there's a hockey game on. I gotta catch. Sequel prequel. Prestige tv. All black cast or Untouchable? I've already made my Prestige TV case.

[Chris Ryan]

I mean, they made so many bad sequels of this. Your Prestige TV pitch was great.

[Van Lathan]

Prestige would be great right now.

[Bill Simmons]

Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Danny Trejo, Doris Burke, Sam Jackson? No, Byron Mayo, Tony Romo, Chris Collinsworth, Daniel Plainview, Long legs, or Wilford Brimley?

[Chris Ryan]

I'm still in the lab trying to figure out how to get Sha involved with more movies. But I do think DB Just being like, bonjour, Mademoiselle Henri, we see you. You came out of that cocoon naked as the day is long. Oh, D.B. yeah, we have to. We have to remix some of these. Can I. I definitely think Byron Mayo would have been an interesting addition.

[Bill Simmons]

What's going on here, my friend?

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, yes. If you need the seed, just ask.

[Bill Simmons]

No reason. Got that wedding dress on. You're ready to roll? Yeah, I have. I think first take, Jay Williams needs to be brought into consideration here.

[Van Lathan]

Bill, come on, man.

[Bill Simmons]

No, I'm just like, here's this hot alien who needs to mate two days. Can't mate with anybody. Are we sure she was good? That keeps you sagging.

[Chris Ryan]

I can't wait for this summit where it's like Jay Williams, Nick Wright, db.

[Van Lathan]

Everybody sitting there and they're just like, God damn, Bill.

[Bill Simmons]

Just one Oscar. Who gets it? It's probably special effects.

[Chris Ryan]

Hi, Ed Madsen. Just for the hell of it.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Probably unanswerable questions. What was your fcr?

[Chris Ryan]

Do we think Sean Marks would have drafted the species if they were eligible? I think I wrote that down really late at night. I really like some of her flexibility. I don't know.

[Van Lathan]

Are the overarching aliens that she comes from, are they pleased with her? Is she doing a good job for them?

[Bill Simmons]

Well, they don't know what's going on.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, I mean, she was like, basically.

[Bill Simmons]

Cooked up in a place to report back.

[Van Lathan]

I know, but like, so these aliens had enough technology and all of this to do this, but they're not watching what's going on.

[Chris Ryan]

I think the implication is that. That she's not, unlike Dan, an empath, and that she is reflecting the society that she's been thrown into, which is like a predatory, violent, you know, fucked up place.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah, but they had this master plan to infect us with their race, did they not?

[Chris Ryan]

They did.

[Van Lathan]

Are they watching?

[Bill Simmons]

I think they're just kind of hoping it plays out that way.

[Van Lathan]

Interesting.

[Bill Simmons]

They were like, can't believe Kingsley is going to do this.

[Chris Ryan]

So he's not going to tell anyone, huh? Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

The Dairy Queen trade. Yeah, that's another that unprotected pick. I have one unanswerable. So if you were the conciliary for Natasha when she gets off the train, where would you tell her to go? Like, it's time to mate. You're very attractive blonde lady. I. I think the move would have been South Bay. Just walking up and down the strand trying to maybe meet some beach volleyball. Like, she wants, like, strong barrel guys, right? To continue their. Continue like her little alien human USC frat party.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

You want to find, like, guys in their late teens.

[Chris Ryan]

No, I think you want, like a party.

[Bill Simmons]

Guys. I'm saying, like 19 to 25. Well, she's 21. She's 21. I think she's 21.

[Chris Ryan]

I thought you meant for a second just like, where would you go as a tourist?

[Bill Simmons]

Well, but there's a piece of that too. Like, it's probably like when she's in Santa Monica, it's like, all right, the.

[Chris Ryan]

Guy who's got like a nice winery in the Central Valley. You know what I mean? Like a guy.

[Bill Simmons]

Los Alibos do some wine tasting. I would have accepted any location with her.

[Chris Ryan]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

I just think anywhere she goes would have been hilarious.

[Chris Ryan]

I just. Now every time I think of it, I'm like, this should have been a TV show still at Disney World. Would have been amazing.

[Bill Simmons]

That would have been amazing. Yeah. So going to a Laker game s like, I wanna. I wanna go to still at the Lakers game.

[Van Lathan]

Is. She's gonna.

[Bill Simmons]

I want to go to Eagle Rock. Heard there's some really smart people up there with Gretzky.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah, she's going to videos.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Van Lathan]

She goes to the Laker game. She's gonna. She's gonna find her mate.

[Bill Simmons]

She'll find some people and then couple rose. She finds Leo DiCaprio.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

What piece of memorabilia would you want or not want from this movie? I couldn't come up with one.

[Chris Ryan]

I had a Forest Whitaker's koofy.

[Van Lathan]

That's a good one. Look at you reaching out.

[Bill Simmons]

Coach Vince. Sack of words. Coach Fin. Best life lesson, don't underestimate hot horny aliens.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah. I had. If a six foot blonde woman wants your baby at the club, it's probably too good to be true, right?

[Van Lathan]

Yeah. Yeah. Women are not to be used.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, that's. That's cool, man.

[Van Lathan]

See, I can do both things. I can do both.

[Bill Simmons]

Best double feature choice under the skin.

[Chris Ryan]

I had mimic the Mira Sorvino movie that came out a couple years later. It's basically about killer cockroaches and then more shit.

[Van Lathan]

So I went obscure. There's a movie called Amanda and the Alien. You guys have probably never seen it. It's with Nicole Eggert. It's a very low budget movie, but it's about this lady who. She meets an alien and the alien is on earth, like learning its body, having sex with different people and all of that. Amanda and the Alien.

[Bill Simmons]

I know this one. 1995. Says it's a TV movie made for cable.

[Van Lathan]

I think it was for Cinemax or one of those joints, because there's some scenes in there.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

What did you. Did you really say under the skin?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, it was just.

[Van Lathan]

That was like under the skin as in Scarlett Johansson.

[Chris Ryan]

But that's like a beautiful film, right?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, it was just beautiful. Part two.

[Chris Ryan]

John Glazer.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah, it was a moment.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, that was a moment.

[Van Lathan]

That was a moment. I was thankful. Very thankful.

[Bill Simmons]

Who won the movie, Mikey? Yeah, I guess Natasha.

[Chris Ryan]

Natasha. I'm trying to fucking honor him because he just passed away. That's why we're doing this.

[Van Lathan]

Right?

[Bill Simmons]

Wow. It's a great performance for him, but, yeah, she wins the movie. Craig, what'd you think?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Well, you know, Mount Rushmore of most 90s movie premises, I would say just out of control 90s vibes. Can't imagine the audition process for this film. What that was like? Like, look, this movie's not good, but it's extremely enjoyable. Kind of the perfect blend of that. I respect the hell out of the attempt. Had no problem with any of the nudity stuff that you guys always claim that I have an issue with. When it's. That's what it's about. That's what it's about. It's just when it's randomly in an action film and a girl in a car gets in an accident and some extras topless in a hotel, I'm like, all right, maybe I didn't need to be there for this. We could have used a little more.

[Van Lathan]

But about Craig.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Craig Horlbeck]

You know, this was definitely a film.

[Chris Ryan]

Where I was like, they grow up so fast.

[Van Lathan]

They do.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Didn't exactly tell Liz the premise.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, Liz, watch this with you?

[Craig Horlbeck]

No, no. I was like, I think I'm gonna sit this one out. I'll watch this on my own. I have a feeling where this one's good, man, where this one's headed.

[Bill Simmons]

So that's like very passive. Thumbs up from Craig.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

It's like, I think he enjoyed himself.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Very enjoyable. But like, is it a good movie?

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

This is what we did in the 90s. We weren't trying to win Oscars with movies we made.

[Chris Ryan]

Sometimes we were trying to go see.

[Bill Simmons]

Just like, let's put some fun people in a movie.

[Chris Ryan]

Seconds of Natasha Hensley.

[Bill Simmons]

Good premise.

[Van Lathan]

Not all. Sometimes you just got a cool idea, you make a movie, and then, boom, it's on the screen.

[Chris Ryan]

It's the representative that's The Donaldson way.

[Van Lathan]

Yeah, it's the Donaldson way.

[Craig Horlbeck]

It's pre Internet. It's pre online porn. People had to go to the theaters.

[Chris Ryan]

To do stuff like this. We did.

[Craig Horlbeck]

You would never do this now.

[Van Lathan]

You wouldn't now. It'd have to be something more.

[Bill Simmons]

This is how you got people in the theater. Now we have IMAX and Brad Pitt and F1 cars, and that's how you get people to go. Back then it was like Natasha Andridge.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Naked horny alien Chris, in the same vein of your like, what if this lady Was just a 6? I think it'd be really funny if it was. It was just a guy and he was kind of ugly and he couldn't get any girls, so he had to just, like, get a job and have a life.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

John Lovitz.

[Chris Ryan]

That's right.

[Craig Horlbeck]

He's like, well, I guess.

[Van Lathan]

Love it.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I guess I got to develop a personality now.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.

[Bill Simmons]

Craig Horbeck. Jack Sanders. Ronick. Thank you, fan. Cr. Good to see you.

[Chris Ryan]

Good to see you, man. Tipping culture is out of control. Yesterday, I tipped someone just for handing me a napkin.

[Van Lathan]

So when hotels.com gives me up to.

[Chris Ryan]

20% off for being a member, I finally get tipped.

[Van Lathan]

And you know what?

[Chris Ryan]

It feels good. Hotels.com members save up to 20% off at hundreds of thousands of hotels.