‘The Legend of Billie Jean’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Rewatchables – ‘The Legend of Billie Jean’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan

Podcast: The Rewatchables (The Ringer)
Episode: 'The Legend of Billie Jean'
Date: September 9, 2025
Hosts: Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, Craig Horlbeck, Sierra McClain

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Overview

This episode of The Rewatchables dives into the cult favorite The Legend of Billie Jean (1985), a mid-80s “VHS classic” beloved for its mix of teenage rebellion, pop music, female empowerment, and pure 80s nostalgia. Hosts Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan, joined by Craig Horlbeck and Sierra McClain, dissect the movie’s themes, its place in 80s pop culture, and why it continues to resonate, even if it was never a mainstream blockbuster. The conversation blends personal reminiscence, critical analysis, and trademark Ringer humor.

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Main Discussion Points and Insights

The Movie as a "One For Us" Rewatchable

• Nostalgia Factor: All the hosts connect deeply with the era, describing how these mid-80s films replayed constantly during their childhoods and defined their formative pop-cultural experiences.
  • Chris Ryan (03:14): “One of the most nostalgic movie-going experiences I can have right now is to watch this... these movies were just the wallpaper, they were on all the time.”
• Genre Positioning: The film sits among a pantheon of similar underdog/fantasy teen movies—Karate Kid, The Last Starfighter, Big Trouble in Little China—with high rewatch value, teen heroes, and memorable soundtracks.

Female Empowerment and Subtle Radicalism

• Ahead of Its Time: The hosts highlight the film’s boldness in foregrounding a female protagonist exerting agency and confronting misogyny—a rarity in its era.
  • Bill Simmons (05:55): "There’s a female empowerment hero piece... dare I say ahead of its time."
  • Chris Ryan (06:30): "It’s wild, but there’s so much casual misogyny in this movie... The whole thing basically gets rolling because Mr. Pyatt tries to sexually assault her and then flip it on her."
• Viral Celebrity Before Social Media: The movie eerily presages Internet and viral fame, with Billie Jean’s image spreading rapidly until she becomes a folk hero, a parallel the hosts draw with today’s online virality.
  • Chris Ryan (06:30): "The idea of somebody becoming an overnight sensation and taking over—now it can just be instantaneously."
  • Bill Simmons (11:25): "This movie does see this world coming... her becoming a viral celebrity with the ‘fair is fair’ hashtag."

80s Cultural and Cinematic Hallmarks

• Soundtrack as Character: The use of Pat Benatar’s “Invincible” and other 80s artists is dissected, showing how these sound cues not only defined the vibe but were also essential marketing (playing the song three times in a 95-minute movie).
  • Chris Ryan (10:39): "It’s used as a theme in the score itself… The movie being right on the cusp of a change in media."
• Kids vs. Adults Dynamic: The 80s trope of “kids as the good guys” and “adults as the enemy” is strong here, something the hosts note doesn’t exist in quite the same way today.
  • Bill Simmons (18:40): "Kids were the good guys and adults were just bad… this doesn’t really exist now in the same way."
• The 80s Mall Aesthetic: Extended discussion about the nostalgia of 80s mall culture, seen as a lost communal staple that the movie captures perfectly.
  • Sierra McClain (32:57): "I caught the tail end of malls in my childhood... it's the most nostalgic era."

Character and Actor Retrospectives

• Helen Slater and 80s Crushes: The hosts reminisce about iconic 80s actresses who played high schoolers, with Helen Slater rating highly as a beloved archetype.
  • Bill Simmons (22:01): "Helen Slater and Billie Jean… Elizabeth Shue in Karate Kid... those were the five."
• Christian Slater’s Debut: Noting his real-life crush on Helen Slater during filming, and his surprising performance as the plucky younger brother.
• Supporting Weirdos and Villains: Shoutouts to quirky side characters (like Hubie and the mustachioed cops), and the slimy villainy of Mr. Pyatt.

The Movie’s Enduring "Cult" Status and Flaws

• Box Office Bomb, Cable Hit: The film grossed only $3-4 million but became a cable and VHS classic echoed in later youth media.
  • Bill Simmons (27:27): "It made 3.1 million... but was on cable for the next 15 years."
• Cheesy, Earnest, and Sometimes Silly: The hosts admit the film has its flaws—implausible plot points and certain aged poorly elements—but celebrate its sincerity and time-capsule quality.
  • Chris Ryan (35:39): "That character’s all over the place... But at that time, that was what horror was."

Big Themes & Meta-Observations

• Notoriety vs. Fame: Highlighted as a central and prescient concept by the film’s director and called out as the precursor to OJ/Kato Kaelin/Internet celebrity culture.
  • Bill Simmons (16:13): "I was fascinated with notoriety getting confused with fame... starts right here in the mid-80s."
• Does ‘Fair Is Fair’ Mean Anything Now? The meme-ification of Billie Jean’s slogan is compared to today’s viral phrases/catchphrases.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On 80s Nostalgia and the Setting

• Bill Simmons (03:07):
  "Just take me back to the mid-80s when life was simple and we just had malls and we could just have people get innocently shot in the shoulder and become heroes and then just get away scot-free."

• Chris Ryan (04:05):
  "They’re not American cinematic classics, but they are like my VHS classics."

On Billie Jean as a Feminist Character

• Chris Ryan (06:51):
  "It’s wild, but there’s so much casual misogyny in this movie. The whole thing basically gets rolling because Mr. Pyatt tries to sexually assault her and then flip it on her..."

• Bill Simmons (09:40):
  "She’s such a good character… At the first half hour she’s really innocent and shy... and then by the end, she’s the fucking badass."

On Virality and Media

• Bill Simmons (11:48):
  "Once upon a time... Pump Up the Volume created podcasting. I think this movie created the Internet."

• Chris Ryan (12:26):
  "It points out a couple things... kids are starting to get their hands on video cameras... and they’re starting to tape stuff more."

Most Rewatchable Scenes

• Bill Simmons (29:37):
  "Would you throw the opening credits in here with the Divinyls 'Boys in Town’?"

• Chris Ryan (39:04):
  "Her coming out of the scene at Lloyd’s house and making the tape the first time... that's my favorite line: ‘You look famous.’"

On Culture & Technology

• Bill Simmons (43:36):
  "I honestly could have used more of in the 80s and 90s—when characters found an empty, really nice suburban semi-mansion to hide in for a couple days. Why did we stop doing this?"

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:14] – The hosts’ foundational VHS memories and the significance of 80s movie wallpaper
• [05:55] – The film’s female empowerment angle and ahead-of-its-time status
• [10:08] – Music in 80s movies and Pat Benatar’s “Invincible” as a film motif
• [16:13] – Notoriety vs Fame discussion – predicting viral/Internet celebrity
• [22:01] – Breakdown of top 80s teen “crushes” and Helen Slater’s place among them
• [27:27] – The film’s box office failure vs. rewatchable legacy
• [29:37] – Most rewatchable scenes: opening credits, mall chase, hair reveal, and others
• [32:57] – Deep dive on 80s mall culture and its place in the film
• [40:00] – Discussion of the most 1985 things about the movie (scooters, Panama Jack, gas prices, Beta cams)
• [43:36] – “Best aged” aspects of the film – hidden house trope, 80s movie villains, fashion
• [51:14] – Weakest links and low points, and the “save Kenny” subplot
• [53:02] – Overuse (or not) of Pat Benatar’s “Invincible”
• [54:12] – Costume continuity issues (wig in reshoots)
• [66:05] – Apex Mountain for Helen Slater and comparisons to other 80s stars
• [73:52] – Nitpicking the plot: improbable hiding, police response, and logic holes
• [80:17] – Double feature suggestions
• [81:07] – First-time viewer Craig reviews the film

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Fun Debates & Flex Categories

• Alternative Soundtrack Choices: Hosts playfully imagine which other classic 80s songs would have energized key sequences.
  • Chris Ryan (61:10): “Voices Carry by ‘Til Tuesday” for the escape scene!
• Sequel/Prestige TV Re-imaginings: Imagining a gritty, Inglesby-esque limited series set in Corpus Christi with darker modern themes.
• Apex Mountain: Which actors, vehicles, or character names peaked in this film?
  • e.g., Is Billie Jean the apex for "Fair is Fair" as a cultural phrase? For short-haired 80s women?
• Casting What-Ifs: Would young James Spader or John Cusack have made a better Lloyd?

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Modern Resonance & Final Thoughts

• The film is alternately described as charmingly dated and surprisingly forward-thinking. The group agrees it functions as a fascinating cultural time capsule for 1985.

  • Craig Horlbeck (81:14): "I really enjoyed this movie… kind of always toe the line between genuine love and ironic love for them. But that’s part of the fun of these 80s movies."

• The central group (Billie Jean, Binks, Putter, Ophelia) is a “good hang,” and Corpus Christi as a setting is unexpectedly fresh.

  • Sierra McClain (82:15): “This movie is aggressively representing culture at this exact time... I think a lot of stuff now doesn’t.”

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Conclusion

The Legend of Billie Jean may be light in plot and heavy on cheese, but it is celebrated for its authenticity, earnestness, and prescience with themes of rebellion, viral celebrity, and the fight for fairness. The hosts revel in their memories and the 80s time-capsule vibe, finding both humor and unexpected depth in the film—and reminding listeners why the movie is, in the end, so endlessly rewatchable.

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Select Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• “She’s such a good character… by the end, she’s the fucking badass.” – Bill Simmons [09:40]
• “The whole thing gets rolling because Mr. Pyatt tries to sexually assault her and then flip it on her.” – Chris Ryan [06:51]
• “This movie does see this world coming... her becoming a viral celebrity with the ‘fair is fair’ hashtag.” – Bill Simmons [11:12]
• “I honestly could have used more of in the 80s and 90s… characters found an empty, really nice suburban semi-mansion to hide in for a couple days.” – Bill Simmons [43:36]
• “This movie is aggressively representing culture at this exact time.” – Sierra McClain [81:57]

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For fans of 80s films, pop culture analysis, and spirited group debates, this Rewatchables episode is both a reminder of childhood media magic and a smart reconsideration of underrated classics like Billie Jean. Fair is fair.

Transcript

[Bill Simmons]

This episode is brought to you by Warner Brothers Pictures. One Battle After Another is coming to theaters September 26th. Don't miss Legendary writer, director and producer my guy Paul Thomas Anderson teaming up with Leo DiCaprio for the first time ever. Pretty exciting. They almost teamed together in Boogie Nights actually alongside award winning actors like Sean Penn, Teyana Taylor and Benicio Del Toro in this hilarious action packed adventure following Bob Ferguson, an ex revolutionary, on a mission to find his missing daughter and overcome the consequences of his past. One Battle After Another Only in theaters September 26th. Get tickets now. Rated R under 17 not admitted without parent. This message is a paid partnership with Apple Card. If there's one thing I'm going to make sure I pack for my summer vacation, it's my Apple card. I can earn up to 3% daily cash back on every purchase, including fuel for my car and booking places to stay. Plus, I don't have to worry about fees, including foreign transaction fees, which is perfect when I'm planning to travel abroad. To get an Apple Card for your summer travels, apply in the Wallet app on your iPhone today. Subject to credit approval. Apple card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City Branch. Variable APRs for Apple Card range from 18.24% to to 28.49% based on creditworthiness rates as of July 1, 2025 Terms and more at applecard.com the Rewatchable is brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network. You can find the watch? You sure can, Ryan. Yeah, we did 400 movies for the Rewatchables. Our 400th was American Gangster last week. Yeah, it's football season. It's the Monday of week one. All anyone cares about is football and Steve Ballmer's legal pay cycles.

[Chris Ryan]

Possibly my green bank that's going bankrupt.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah, how are your.

[Bill Simmons]

How's your aspiration stock? Is it bad?

[Chris Ryan]

You know what I think they're saying? Fair's fair, but who knows?

[Bill Simmons]

Well, we decided there's no better chance for a one for us than this week. And it's a to be classic. It's gotten to the point when I go on two babies. And by the way, this is not sponsored by Tubi. In fact, I don't think Tubi even likes us.

[Chris Ryan]

Why not?

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know. They've never really.

[Chris Ryan]

Because you tried to change their slogan to go to be right.

[Bill Simmons]

Every time I go there, they're like, hey, legend of Billie Jean.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

You haven't clicked on this in a while and I've watched it probably 700 times when I was a teenager and in college and. And now we're finally doing it. Legend of Billie Jean. Because fair is fair. Here we go. All right, Cr. Just. Here's my first take. Just take me back. Just take me back to the mid-80s when life was simple and we just had malls and we could just have people get innocently shot in the shoulder and become heroes and then just get away scot free. And I just miss it.

[Chris Ryan]

It's like one of the most nostalgic movie going experiences I can have right now is to watch, is to watch this. There's a run of movies from 84 to 86 that is essentially Last Starfighter, Maximum Overdrive, the Explorers, Big Trouble in Little China Rad and the Legend of Billie Jean that I think I had on constantly from 1985 whenever we first got a VHS player through. When cable got introduced at my house, which I think was in mid late 80s, these movies were just the wallpaper they were on all the time. The soundtracks are buried into like their brainworms in my head. And I remember every single scene and every single nuance and they still hit now. And it's like they're not American cinematic classics, but they are like my VHS classics.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. There's like. I would have thrown in 40 to 45 other movies. Sure. Other than the ones you listed. Just because I was watching like Karate Kid, Teen Wolf, all those. They all had music, they all had a hero. They're all kind of innocent. There was all like these over the top villains. They all had a lot of flaws which was fine. Sure. This movie has some flaws. Like I was surprised. The nitpicks. I was like, is it ever picked this with legend Billie Jean like this.

[Chris Ryan]

You guys just let vigilante justice run amok.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And the most thing other than the, the theme that we're going to talk about in a second was just, just in love with Helen Slater.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I was in high school. She was 22 when she filmed this movie playing a 16 year old. But she was just. I was just like, I'm in. I'll follow this person to the, to the end of the story.

[Chris Ryan]

And she, she was in Supergirl. Right.

[Bill Simmons]

Supergirl. And then this one. And was in a couple other ones, but she's in there. Christian Slater, we had no history with him yet. He's the little brother film debut. Peter Coyote had been bouncing around in the 80s for a while and it just, it was a movie that kind of came and went. I think it was 14th when it, when it was Released the first week.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And then was on cable for the next 15 years straight.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

It was perfect length for TNT, TBS, where you could just do two hours. It was on HBO, it was on Cinemax. It just was never not on.

[Chris Ryan]

What is it, an hour 35? Hour 35.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. We told Craig. Told him. I think Craig, congrats on your new camera angle, by the way.

[Sierra McClain]

Thank you.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, we told Craig, 1985, Legend of Billy Jean. Don't read anything about it. And he looked it up. What was it, 101 minutes?

[Sierra McClain]

It's 100. It's an hour 35. 95 minutes.

[Bill Simmons]

97 minutes. He was like, I like that.

[Sierra McClain]

I thought it was going to be about tennis. It wasn't Billie Jean King or something.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

But what's interesting, 40 years later. Watch. I mean, there's two major themes that we weren't talking about in the 80s, but there's a female empowerment hero piece to this that I think I liked when I watched it. But as the years pass, dare I say ahead of its time, it's like this. It's Sarah Connor, it's even Joyce Heiser, and just one of the guys flipping tables and trying to show her newspaper editor that she could get a good story. But there wasn't a lot of these and this was probably the most famous one.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah. It's funny to go back and watch this through 2025 eyes both for the feminism angle and also like the viral celebrity angle and like the idea of somebody becoming like an overnight sensation and taking over. Now, in 1980s, it was more of a, like a local thing that would then explode nationally.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Now it can just be instantaneously. You go viral for something and then like, you're the biggest thing online for two days and then everybody forgets. But with the, the, the part about, like the female empowerment, it's. It's wild. But, like, there's so much casual misogyny in this movie. The whole thing basically gets rolling because Mr. Pyatt tries to, like, sexually assault her and then flip it on her.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

And that's really what. And now the whole time she's just like, I just want to get paid back for the scooter. We're not getting even getting into you being a deviant.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Because that was probably taken for granted that that's what guys were like back then in some ways.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

There's no question she's navigating this misogynist, pretty, like, hairy world.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

But she's just like, this is the world. I'm in. And I just know. Kind of know it. I can read this guy. I know what to do.

[Chris Ryan]

Neum in the balls.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

But now be like, you know, this would obviously be a completely different movie, but it's weird to think that these characters made sense in 1985, but they kind of did. It's like Mr. Pratt. Totally get it. Yeah. Complete scumbag. Taking a crack at a 16 year old in the attic of a store.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And we weren't like, wow, this is horrifying. Why? Like this guy's Hannibal Lecter. But back then I was like, ah.

[Chris Ryan]

There'S multiple cases of pretty casual child abuse in this movie where you're just like, oh man, Potter's getting tooled up by her mom again, right. That's not like, hey, stop everything. Call child services. It's like, oh, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Even the way the adults talk about her. The basically Peter Coyote's character, the police officer. And then in the Mr. Pyatt where they're like, you're a good looking girl, Billie Jean.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

She's 16.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And they're just, they're just like batting off Craig. Were you taken aback by that?

[Sierra McClain]

Not for the 80s, right?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Sierra McClain]

@ this point.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, that's true.

[Sierra McClain]

We haven't sworn of the 80s.

[Chris Ryan]

That's right. 19 1980s movies.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I think one of the things I really loved about this movie and still really enjoy what I. What I had such a great time rewatching this and it's not like I hadn't seen it in the last, I don't know, five years, but she's such a good character. It's so weird to say this is a well drawn character because this is such a dumb movie. But at the, the first half hour she's like really innocent and shy and she's like obviously like coming into her own as a woman and guys are looking at her a certain way and she's still getting used to that. Like even when, when the four guys are hitting on her at the beginning.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, and Hubie's like.

[Bill Simmons]

And Hubie's like licking her milkshake straw. Yeah. She's like, I'm kind of flirting, but I'm kind of horrified. And then by the end, she's the fucking badass. Oh yeah. All this stuff had like, had like seasoned her in a way for how to, how to actually make the world.

[Chris Ryan]

And I do think at that time like there was like, you know, obviously Pat Benatar was a pretty big artist, but like gets a huge hit out of this movie with Invincible. But like Pat Benatar, Madonna, like, there were kind of like these pop culture figures that weren't as traditionally, not necessarily not beautiful or not, but like they didn't present as traditional.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, they were kind of badass.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, they were badass. They had like one glove and a spiked haircut or whatever. And it was like things were changing a little bit, I think, like, that you could see that, like people were becoming a little bit more self possessed through the images that they were seeing.

[Bill Simmons]

Of course, Pat Benatar. Yeah, yeah, Madonna. And it was also right around the time when they were figuring out how to use famous pop music people, famous artists, whatever, to kind of. To kind of supercharge a movie.

[Chris Ryan]

Sure.

[Bill Simmons]

Right. And then Top Gun, they really put it all together. But 85, you have vision Quest, which they put Madonna in with the Crazy for you and that great soundtrack. This was like. It's basically the stars of the movie are Helen Slater and Pat Benatar.

[Chris Ryan]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

And they play the song three full times in 95 minutes.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And even, by the way, I could have gone for four.

[Chris Ryan]

It's. It's used as like a theme in the score itself. Like they'll go into notes from Invincible.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

That, like, it's just a very, like, wise way to kind of build it up and. But that kind of speaks to this movie being right on the cusp of a change in media where, I mean, of course, like people used to. Barbra Streisand would do the soundtrack for a movie that she might be in and she would sing the theme song or whatever. But this was really like, hey, we can put this on mtv. We can try and sell this girl as an icon. Pat Benatar. It was a sea change for that stuff.

[Bill Simmons]

It was like I was telling Craig the other day, this bloody road remains a mystery. That's what they say with what are we Waiting For?

[Chris Ryan]

That's Aaron Rodgers locker room speech.

[Bill Simmons]

That's when he came out holding the flag in that first jets game. That song is a banger.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I have a lot of thoughts about the music in this movie. So you mentioned the. The viral celebrity piece.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Once upon a time we made the case and I think we cemented it. And I think it's become fact and gospel, that. Pump up the Volume Creative podcast.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

I think this movie created the Internet.

[Chris Ryan]

Can I just say, I think that might be the most used trope on this pod in the history of this pod. I think Sean has said that three or four times. Right.

[Bill Simmons]

That created the Internet.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Where it'll be like, Daniel Plainview created the Internet.

[Bill Simmons]

This whole. Her becoming a viral celebrity with the fairest fair hashtag.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And the thing and the merchandising. And it's just like, I don't think the movie realizes this because this is not. I wouldn't say this was. You know, this wasn't a Paul Thomas Anderson production, but this movie does see this world coming.

[Chris Ryan]

It does.

[Bill Simmons]

That is about to happen with Donna Rice and, you know, Monica Lewinsky eventually. And. And. But there's also Baker, all these people.

[Chris Ryan]

It points out a couple of things that I think are really important. One are, first of all, we've kind of like slated this movie a couple of times. And I do think it's really silly. In places, it looks way better than it has any business.

[Bill Simmons]

Look, did we slight it? I think it should have been nominated for an Oscar. What do you mean? This movie's amazing. But if we slide it. And I apologize.

[Chris Ryan]

You know, you are finding a generation of kids who are obsessed with television. Like, it's Yarley Smith's character. They're like, she's just obsessed with what she sees in tv. She's always like, I saw it on tv. You think, I'll be on tv. And then the other thing happens later in the movie, which is kids are starting to get their hands on video cameras.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

And they're starting to tape stuff more.

[Bill Simmons]

Including this kid right here. Bill Simmons had a video camera and the Honda Elite scooter did. You really resonated with me.

[Chris Ryan]

Inside of you are two wolves and it's Christian. Later in Keith Gordon.

[Bill Simmons]

I had the camera in high school. If they. It weighed 25 pounds. It couldn't have been heavier and more unwieldy. And you brought it around, you taped and you had these big, giant videotapes.

[Chris Ryan]

Yes. You b. And then you have this Keith Gordon character who's probably the first kid in Corpus Christie or whatever, who's like, let's start filming stuff oursel. Let's speak back to television. Like, we'll send this tape to the TV stations. We'll take control of this narrative.

[Bill Simmons]

Craig, how expensive do you think those cameras were back then?

[Sierra McClain]

Like. Like not adjusting for inflation in 1985. How much do I think that cost?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Sierra McClain]

I have no idea. $100.

[Chris Ryan]

I mean, that guy's AV setup was.

[Bill Simmons]

No. Doing this from memory, but I'm going to say at least like $500.

[Sierra McClain]

Really?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

It was like. It was a luxury item.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know what the equivalent would Be like, in.

[Chris Ryan]

I remember I got a world. Sony High 8 in high school in the 90s. And now it was like, this is the only present you're ever gonna get for the rest of your life.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And it was like, if you. By the way, if you. If you dropped it or accidentally hit it, the thing was just. There was no way to fix it. It was just gone. The tapes were really expensive. They were 90. The batteries were like an hour.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, and that. It was just.

[Chris Ryan]

They weighed 20 pounds.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

There were all these different ways that could go wrong. We filmed. I did a student project in high school, and we filmed a movie about our school that was 40 minutes called the. Called the Wick Hiker, based on the Hitchhiker, the HBO show. And we filmed it with. With my camera. And it just was like, we've got to get the. It was almost like the sun setting. We got to get the shot now. That was what it was like with these cameras. It's like we have 32 minutes before this thing.

[Chris Ryan]

You're like Coppola in Apocalypse.

[Bill Simmons]

Go, go, go. See Action.

[Chris Ryan]

Did you have editing equipment?

[Bill Simmons]

I had the two VCRs. And you would plug it in with all of these, like, dial that.

[Chris Ryan]

You move back and forth.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I was pretty good with this stuff. And then. I don't know what happened. Now I can like, barely work a remote.

[Chris Ryan]

Experts.

[Bill Simmons]

You'd have to edit the stuff, edit it the other way. And then, you know, it was just a huge pain in the ass. We had no equipment back then, so that kid set up for 19 because they filmed this M.O. came out in 85. So they really probably filmed it late 84.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

That kid set up with. They had security cameras in the house. Like, nobody had that back then.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

And he had like a full kind of like, basically home theater set up for 1984.

[Bill Simmons]

Fair is fair. Great slogan.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I think. I think Gavin Newsome, maybe, as he heads toward. Toward battling the Trump infrastructure, maybe could start doing the fair is fair.

[Chris Ryan]

Honestly, there are worse slogans to use.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Fair is fair. The director, Matthew Robbins, he said, I was attracted to the screenplay because I hadn't seen anything like it. The empowerment of a female. Everybody in the movie was young and powerless. The assumptions were being made by all the adult males. It's kind of a force field the kids are up against. So that was one theme. Then the other one he said was because he wrote the Sugarland Express with Goldie Hawn. That was Spielberg's first big movie. He said, I Was fascinated with notoriety getting confused with fame, which was exactly the same issue in the Sugar Land Express. That's a really interesting concept. Notoriety getting confused with fame really starts right here in the mid-80s and goes through where all these people eventually, like, culminating in the OJ Trial.

[Chris Ryan]

Someone definitely has a thesis paper that's like, from Billie Jean to Hawk Tua. You know, like.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Sierra McClain]

I literally have that in my notes.

[Bill Simmons]

But that she's the hawk to of 1985.

[Sierra McClain]

My flex was, like, the earnestness. My flex category was what happens the next day. And I was like, I can't help but think about what would have happened in 2025.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, she would have just gotten.

[Sierra McClain]

She would have gone on the Hawk to a podcast, probably gotten to deal with, like, the Unwell Network, and then is, like, releasing music by the time she's 25. That in 85, she probably goes back to Corpus Christi and becomes, like, a school teacher.

[Chris Ryan]

Comes out against the measles vaccine, you know, like.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, Ko Kin in the OJ Trial, I feel like, was the culmination of the start of this movie all the way, where Kato Kalin just became famous. And he, you know, in the OJ Trial, he was just this dude that lived in the guest house and he brought nothing to the table. He was, like a wannabe actor. He'd been in a couple things and then became, like, actually truly famous and was on the Tonight show and was in game shows and was being cast in movies in 85, that would have been inconceivable, but people were starting to realize, like, you could use cable TV to become famous right away.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

I think the cool thing about movie, too, is that is it starts when. After. After she starts to go on the lamb. The first reaction of, like, the kind of community is, like, kids are running amok, and we gotta put a stop to these kids who are just, like, terrorizing business owners and stuff.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

And it's really like, whether it's organic or not, but it's really a youth explosion that leads to her becoming this folk hero. And then the haircut, obviously, like, makes it into a fashion statement.

[Bill Simmons]

There's another piece to this movie that was really particularly the 80s. I'm interested from Craig's standpoint, if he feels like it exists now, like, that kids were the good guys and adults were just bad, and they did not Breakfast Club. Adults are bad. They don't understand us. They take advantage of us. In some cases, we're threatened by them physically or sexually, and adults are the bad people. But you have adults making movies about this like that. This doesn't really exist now in the same way.

[Sierra McClain]

I think it's less ageist now and it's more about wealth. I think it's like the Luigi Mangione and the United Healthcare. Like I think that is. Is the version of the what's going on.

[Chris Ryan]

It's haves and have nots rather than.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. And also back then it was kids versus adults. Adults don't understand and root for the kids.

[Chris Ryan]

I think there's also an element that this might be simplifying it too much. I don't know if you felt this way, but like in the 80s, it definitely felt like when you were a kid you just couldn't wait to grow up. Like I, you know, like you really, really, you know, you wanted to meet girls or you wanted to.

[Bill Simmons]

I couldn't wait to have sex. Thought about that a lot.

[Chris Ryan]

I couldn't wait to get. Get a fly.

[Bill Simmons]

Really talk about that a lot. You know, having sex with another person, I mean.

[Chris Ryan]

But also like the music that was cool to like your older brother or cousin or the kids who were older than you. That's the music you wanted to like. Yeah, like he wanted to get out of being a kid. That's always been the case. But now I think that there's more stuff for kids to almost stay perpetually young. Like they're served more culture that it's like, yeah, why would I ever just. I would never reject Taylor Swift. I can just listen to Taylor Swift for the rest of my life.

[Sierra McClain]

Like Disney adults.

[Chris Ryan]

There's like a whole new era of.

[Sierra McClain]

These people who have kept the things they loved as. As children and just continue to like.

[Chris Ryan]

Or they can just keep watching that stuff because it's saved in perpetuity rather than when we were young and it was like. Well, you can keep Ren Goonies, but it's not as easily accessible as like it is now where you just be like, I have it on my phone and I can fall asleep to it every night.

[Bill Simmons]

And the flip side, Millie Bobby Brown is now 45 year old. If you've seen her, she looks like a. She's married 10 year long today show anchor. Yeah, she's like 22. Well, I gotta do it. Crazy Apex mountain for hottest mid-80s high school babes that teenage Bill loved.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah, right.

[Bill Simmons]

This is 40 years ago. I still feel like it's fair game to talk about these people. I'm talking about the love that I had.

[Chris Ryan]

Helen Slater was 22 when she made this movie.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I'm Talking about. I'm not talking about me now.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm talking about the love that I had.

[Chris Ryan]

That's okay.

[Bill Simmons]

In the mid-80s. The feelings that percolated inside me and I narrowed it down to five.

[Chris Ryan]

Did you give me a Karl Malone cup while you're talking about this?

[Bill Simmons]

The mailman?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, I didn't even think about that. Jesus. Oh, no, that was accidental.

[Chris Ryan]

Why do you have a Carl Maloney cup?

[Bill Simmons]

It's from the Dream Team Club collection. I bet. To give you Dr. J. I had a Dr. J cup for you. We switch cups.

[Chris Ryan]

Well, it's almost better that you don't have the Carl Malone.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, baby.

[Chris Ryan]

For this topic.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. But I'm going for how I felt in the 80s.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I already mentioned Kelly Preston and Secret Admirer and Mischief. Helen Slater and Billie Jean. Joyce Heiser and just one of the guys. I think she was like 30 in that movie. In real life, but playing a high schooler. Elizabeth Shoe and Cried A Kid. We've discussed. And Mia Sarah.

[Chris Ryan]

Ferris Bueller.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, those were the five.

[Chris Ryan]

I also was pretty into Jennifer Gray too.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, Jennifer Gray and Ferris Bueller. Yeah, there were others, but just for like these. These characters were all in high school. I was in high school and I.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Loved all of them. Yes.

[Sierra McClain]

What about Rebecca De Mornay, Risky Business? Was she there?

[Bill Simmons]

Not accessible. Yeah, she was like a 19 year old prostitute.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't. She doesn't count as a high school character.

[Chris Ryan]

She was like from another galaxy in that movie.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Just couldn't. Couldn't get there with Molly Ringwald. Never. Even though she was in multiple high.

[Chris Ryan]

School movies back then and like Sean Young and Stripes. But she was a little bit.

[Bill Simmons]

She was an adult.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah. Ye.

[Bill Simmons]

Now this had to be like in your age where you felt like, like was Winona Ryder Lucas.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yep.

[Chris Ryan]

Like you could meet her.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, it was like this part. Oh, and then the other one, I guess this counts in mid-80s is. Was Amanda Peterson, Can't Buy Me Love. Because we were the exact same age as her in that movie. So anyway, it was quite an era. Helen Slater is in that mix.

[Chris Ryan]

She sure is. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

She. If we had Dream Team cups for that era, she would have had one. And we should do that.

[Sierra McClain]

That's good.

[Bill Simmons]

Those would be good.

[Chris Ryan]

That wouldn't be weird at all.

[Bill Simmons]

7 11. Dream Team, mid-80s. Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

I want to get a bunch of teenage girls on cups.

[Bill Simmons]

Is that cool?

[Chris Ryan]

No, Bill. Yeah, no, the only time when you.

[Sierra McClain]

Were in high school.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, Bill, send off. No, it's retroactive. It's Fine. She did Supergirl, Billie Jean, Ruthless People, Secret of My Success with Michael J. Fox and then City Slickers and. And I think she was pretty fairly serious actress. But that was kind of her.

[Chris Ryan]

And then she went back to school. Yeah, I think she went to like do other stuff.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And then Christian Slater, this is his first big movie. He's the Name of the Rose. Sean Connery. Good movie actually. Tucker man in his dream and then does the Heather's pump up the vine.

[Chris Ryan]

Blows up and it's off to the races Heathers.

[Bill Simmons]

But you could see the pieces in here. It's fun to actually watch 15 year old Christian Slater.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

I mean I for the longest time thought they were actually related. They were not. He was in love with her while they made it. Rightfully so.

[Bill Simmons]

And yeah, I read that in the research and I'm like, do I even put this in the document that 15 year old Christian Slater was in love with 22 year old Helen Slater when they filmed a movie together for four months. Like if he hadn't been in love with her, it was like, do you have blood in your body?

[Sierra McClain]

I found out they aren't siblings right now. I thought they were siblings.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

No, they weren't. I think that was a confusing part of this.

[Chris Ryan]

You know, I don't have.

[Sierra McClain]

Because they kind of look. They're both like platinum blonde in this movie. They look.

[Bill Simmons]

He died his hair though.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

You know how you were like, you started this podcast by saying, take me back, you know?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Let's just do a list of the most popular movies of July of 1985.

[Bill Simmons]

I can't wait.

[Chris Ryan]

Number one, Back to the Future.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Wow.

[Chris Ryan]

Number two, Cocoon, Pale Rider.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Oh.

[Chris Ryan]

Rambo, First Blood, part two.

[Bill Simmons]

Sure.

[Chris Ryan]

Mad Max, Beyond Thunderdome, St. Elmo's Fire. This is just in the box office. Yeah. This is just stuff that was at the movies. It wasn't necessarily released then. ET Goonies, European Vacation, Emerald Forest, Silverado, Pretzy's Honor, Fletch, the Explorers. I know, Beverly Hills Cop, View to a Kill, Brewster's Millions, Red, Sonja, Day of the Dead, Legend of Billie Jean.

[Bill Simmons]

And you left out like Vision Quest. Just one of the guys. Like so many other movies came out during the course of the year. We just had it all figured out.

[Chris Ryan]

Well, there was just volume. This is the thing is that the movies are actually in a really good place right now, but there's just not enough of them. There's not enough in the movie theater where you're like, I could go to the theater. Like four or five times in a week if I wanted to or all month. Like, I could go to the movies. It's like more like an event. You're like, I can't wait.

[Bill Simmons]

You just want the four receiver offense and a lot of passing and a lot of plays and hoping to get lucky or.

[Chris Ryan]

I actually would be cool if we get two really good receivers and never pass to them.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, I was going to say we're in this space now where the Eagles offense of 42 seconds per play. Run play, just chewing up clock.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

That's movies in 20, 25. Back then, we're just chucking the ball.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like flats. Sure. Chevy Chase.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Let's make it go. Here's 10 million. This was produced by.

[Chris Ryan]

This is hilarious.

[Bill Simmons]

John Peters and Peter Gruber. Peter Gruber, who's still. Still kicking.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Part owner of the warriors and still producing.

[Chris Ryan]

And John Peters immortalized in licorice pizza.

[Bill Simmons]

John Peters hairdresser. Barbra Streisand's hairdresser, becomes a movie producer. These guys end up crushing it in the 80s. Not with this movie, but crush in the 80s. And then Sony gives them an incredible amount of money to run Sony and Entertainment and it's a disaster. There's a good book written about it and John Peters never quite happens again, but a character.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

And Matthew Robbins said that John Peters biggest contribution was being completely obsessed with Helen Slater's hair in the movie and what the haircut was going to look like when she has her. Her famous haircut. It's producing and he said it was a gigantic issue for him. So there you go. No budget recorded for this movie.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

It only made like what, 3, 4 million?

[Bill Simmons]

It made 3.1 million, which is. I don't know, Craig. Top top seven least grossing movies we've done on the rewatchables.

[Sierra McClain]

What was Pump up the volume?

[Bill Simmons]

It was not, I think, but it's better.

[Chris Ryan]

3 million.

[Sierra McClain]

You think?

[Chris Ryan]

I think so.

[Bill Simmons]

We. We've rarely done movies that made less than like 5 million.

[Chris Ryan]

Kicking and Screaming, the Noah Bombach movie.

[Bill Simmons]

Make that did not make money.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

That was in like 11 theaters.

[Bill Simmons]

It feels like it made $20 from you and me and another 10 from Greenwald and then a hundred for the Bomback.

[Sierra McClain]

Kicking and Screaming didn't even make a million.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Okay. That might be the lowest.

[Bill Simmons]

No budget recorded. And no Roger Ebert review.

[Chris Ryan]

Where was he?

[Bill Simmons]

Raj was like, I'm good. I actually think Raj would have really liked this.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

He would have loved the female empowerment stuff.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

All right. Lot to discuss in the categories. We'll take a break. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Life is full of decisions big and small. Like, let's not throw it to A.J. brown this week. That's a small decision. Big decision. Let's try to beat the Cowboys. Sometimes you make a decision you can really, really stand behind. I'm trying to think, like, I guess when we formed a ringer.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And we were like, we feel like we can pull this off. We don't care if we're independent. We feel like podcasts could be a big thing of this and we'll see where it goes. Trusted our guts.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

You stood behind us.

[Bill Simmons]

Spent a lot of time together, just brainstorming, figuring out stuff. State Farm gets it. Making confident choices can make all the difference. That's why with the State Farm personal price plan, you can choose the right amount of coverage to create an affordable price for you. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts, and savings and eligibility vary by state. Let's get to the categories. So we got most rewatchable scene. Would you throw the. Would you throw the opening credits in here with the Divino's boys in town?

[Chris Ryan]

Number one thing I have here. Opening credits.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

In the running for most underrated mid-80s song.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah. And it's also just like you're immediately like, they shot this movie entirely on location. So like they use like something like 85 different real locations. It just feels like you're immediately transported. And even though they shot it in the winter, it. You're like, it is hot summer. Like, this is so authentic feeling.

[Bill Simmons]

It's funny because Vision quest starts with. I think it's either Journey or John Way. But it's same thing like I'm in somewhere near Seattle. I'm outdoors, I'm watching a guy run and there's a kick ass song playing. It's like, all right, you got me.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

This one. Same thing where we're just like, I'm in some weird part of Texas. There's guys and there's a gas station and there's a scooter.

[Chris Ryan]

You just kind of get the feeling like, what's going on? It's like this guy, obviously he's very proud of his scooter, but these four jerks are chasing him around, around. And his Sister's hot and like, you.

[Bill Simmons]

Know, and then Hubie steals the scooter. We get the whole.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

The whole swimming scene which was a big thing back in high school way back when. Next one. Billie Jean gets harassed.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

By Mr. Pyatt who is so evil in this scene. And then gets the come up, come.

[Chris Ryan]

You know what the funniest thing about this. I was going to save this earlier, but I have to mention it now is that in my memory Mr. Pyatt was like an oil baron. And he sells like a. He's like a seashell and souvenir store on the boardwalk.

[Bill Simmons]

Right.

[Sierra McClain]

Probably didn't have $600.

[Chris Ryan]

It was just like actually like this guy's just like a piece of tourist trap.

[Bill Simmons]

Right. We're gonna have a little arrangement, layaway plan. It's like, oh my God, this guy's disgusting. She gets out of that. I always like when somebody picks up a gun.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

In a movie. No, in a movie.

[Sierra McClain]

No way.

[Bill Simmons]

And they're like, hey, what's this? And you just know somebody's gonna get shot of me. It's like, oh boy, here we go. Somebody's taking a bullet.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Usually like the bullet, right?

[Chris Ryan]

Like that looks like it was like an inch above his heart.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

With these movies, sometimes when somebody gets innocently shot, but they're fine. When you actually think about getting shot.

[Chris Ryan]

That was much more of an 80s thing. It was like.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Just have like a.

[Bill Simmons]

My arms are like three spots and up here that you could get shot and maybe it's okay. Other than that. You're getting a shatter shoulder. You're getting shot in the heart and dying immediately. You're getting a shattered collar bone.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah. And what's the response time for Corpus Christi paramedics? Like that's a lot of blood loss. He's like I lost two pints.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Right.

[Bill Simmons]

The mall exchange. Yeah, the mall exchange gone wrong with the sped up Rebel Yell by Billy Idle Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Chekov's marbles.

[Bill Simmons]

This could have just been the whole movie. Yeah, I. I could have spent 30.

[Chris Ryan]

Minutes in the mall, the Sunrise Mall and Corpus Christi and I just, I wanted some more stores. We only really get floor shine in the background.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. I don't know where Spencer's Gifts was.

[Chris Ryan]

I guess they were probably in KB Toys. When they're getting all the GI Joe walkie talkies and KB Toys.

[Bill Simmons]

There should have been like some sort of Foot Locker type.

[Chris Ryan]

You gotta have an Orange Julius store.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Where was Orange Julius? Where was a weird pizza place, but something about the malls Back then. I don't know why, why people just haven't tried to recreate that, why they haven't recreated. I know Craig. It's near and dear to his heart.

[Sierra McClain]

Oh, yeah. I mean, just in general. The mid-80s, the mall era. It's like the Duffer brothers cashed out on this with Stranger Things. It's the most nostalgic era to go back to. It sounds wonderful. I caught the tail end of malls in my childhood. I used to go to the mall in the Bay Area that was near me. But I guess kids still go a little bit, but it's just hard. Nobody shops in person anymore. There's no reason to go. Half of them are shut down.

[Bill Simmons]

Maybe they'll come back like movie theaters did. People are going to movie theaters again. Maybe malls will come back.

[Chris Ryan]

Because here it's like the outdoor malls, like kind of pervert your idea of what they're supposed to be. But yeah, maybe.

[Sierra McClain]

I don't know.

[Bill Simmons]

A couple good things in this part. The two mustache guys that work for Peter Coyote. There's like a whole separate movie going on with those guys. At one point he does the midnight run. Like couple punch to the chest.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And then they're just. They just seem like it's a buddy cop that they just decided not to address. And then Hubie coming out of the plants is fucking hilarious.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I can't wait to talk about him.

[Chris Ryan]

Please.

[Bill Simmons]

Billie Jean watching Joan of Arc get set on fire and unleashing her new haircut for the videotaping. Iconic scene.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

And then that's where she, you know, she. They meet Lloyd there. You get some really great hallmarks of a rich guy house highlight.

[Bill Simmons]

There's no lights on anywhere.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

If you're super rich. You apparently don't use electricity anymore if you've transcended it. But it's security cameras all over the place. You can't see anything because everything's pitch black.

[Chris Ryan]

He's got the. The slide from his bedroom into the pool. It's like one of the. The great dreams of my life is to have that.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Except nobody would ever actually have that.

[Chris Ryan]

I know it's probably a fire hazard.

[Bill Simmons]

Can you imagine what we were doing my house? If I said to my wife. So I'm thinking out of Ben's bedroom, a giant slide.

[Sierra McClain]

Like it's the most 13 year old invention ever.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

But it's like a perfect, like.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Probably divorced dad for sure. Just being like, I gotta buy this kid's affection. So I got some money.

[Sierra McClain]

Like.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

It's Porphyry's Christie. Like, they'll do whatever, you know, Also.

[Bill Simmons]

For Keith Gordon's character, for being a pretty cool guy. For the most part.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

But yet is also like, basically, who was the guy who did the Michael Jackson thriller All the Creatures for that?

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, Stan. Stan Winston.

[Bill Simmons]

No, the guy. I can't remember the name, but he's.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, Vincent Price.

[Bill Simmons]

No, no, the guy. The guy who, like, made the Mask. I can't remember who did American Werewolf in London and Thriller, all those. He's basically has this weird horror movie side.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And it's really weird. Well, it's not like normal weird, but it's not like Come to my room.

[Chris Ryan]

Was what horror was back then was like weird guys who would read.

[Bill Simmons]

But imagine that guy taking a girl back to his room that he's been dating.

[Chris Ryan]

Well, was it like Rick Baker. Rick Baker.

[Bill Simmons]

Rick Baker, yeah. It's like, yeah, come to my room. You can see my 20 horror movie.

[Chris Ryan]

Well, I get the impression he spends a lot of time on his own. I didn't. I mean, Lloyd probably has like a nice chunk of change in his pocket.

[Bill Simmons]

For the amount of time he's. I had this as nitpick later for the amount of time he spends on his own. He sure knows how to, like, vibe with the super hot Billie Jean.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

And is also wearing a pretty cool suit when she shows up.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Hanging out.

[Bill Simmons]

That character's all over the place. It's like this guy. Is this guy a loner dork? Is he cool? What is he? Billie Jean's tape getting played in the police station with the Ferris fairs, which is great. And the little kid doing the arms. I think that's a really good scene though, actual, like her talking to camera.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Mr. Pyatta, you sleaze. I put in crazy couple chases Billie Jean and shoots at guns at her for the ransom.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I had that.

[Chris Ryan]

For what? Stage of the worst.

[Craig Horlbeck]

But yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, it's just so insane. I kind of enjoy it.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Like. Like he's like, I'm gonna shoot the tires. It shoots through the windshield twice.

[Chris Ryan]

But it also is, like, kind of indicative of how these stories tend to get a grip on people and drive them kind of crazy.

[Bill Simmons]

I think this is my winner. Billie Jean gets exchanged around Texas as Pat Benatar cranks Invincible for 5 minutes. Also kid Cudi, pursuit of happiness. Word. Best needle drop by far. It's like she calls. She calls the cops to kind of. She's like, I'm going on my own. I don't need anyone attached to me. And then it's like this bloody road remains a mystery.

[Chris Ryan]

There are so many great 80s cars in that scene. Like, there's like a Celica. There's like a good Mazda. I don't.

[Bill Simmons]

What are we waiting for? Also, like, how did this exchange network work with no Internet?

[Craig Horlbeck]

I don't know.

[Chris Ryan]

With no cell phones?

[Bill Simmons]

What's going on?

[Chris Ryan]

I mean, it's pretty cool, though. It's pretty cool.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't ask questions. I loved it.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Then there's the one guy with the motorcycle.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Who's like. He's in the Sons. Sons of Anarchy, but looks like Fabio.

[Bill Simmons]

Then at one point, she goes downstairs to a rave.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

I think it's supposed to be a rave.

[Bill Simmons]

Whole thing. And it's basically a live podcast.

[Chris Ryan]

No, I think it was like, Billie.

[Bill Simmons]

Jean Davies, sponsored by State Farm.

[Chris Ryan]

Today on the Billie Jean Davies Show.

[Bill Simmons]

Today, I would talk to my brother Banks about a scooter. But, yeah, so everyone applauds. They go nuts. What's the next hour there after that meet and greet?

[Chris Ryan]

Step and repeat.

[Bill Simmons]

Just check. Hey, good luck.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Great to see you. And then Billie Jean burns down Pyatt's store. Joan of Arc burns down. People sadly throw Billie Jean merchandise into the. Into the fire.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And the director's like, should we do Invincible for a third time? Yeah, let's do it.

[Chris Ryan]

Josh Peters is like, yes.

[Bill Simmons]

The director's like, what about Love is a Battlefield? Maybe we switch Benatar. And they're like, no, Invincible.

[Chris Ryan]

We paid for Invincible.

[Bill Simmons]

You can use it. So what do you have for most rewatchable?

[Chris Ryan]

Her coming out of the scene at Lloyd's house. Like, her coming out of the house and making the tape the first time. And that's my favorite line of the movie, where the putter systems really are like putters. Like, oh, my God, you look. And then Christian Slayer's like, you look famous.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

There you go. That's when the Internet was created. Right there. That created Twitter.

[Chris Ryan]

Instagram was like that. We gotta do that.

[Bill Simmons]

I have an idea. What's the most 1985 thing about this movie? I mean, the answer is everything but some nominees. The key musical moments for Pat Benatar, the Divinyls, Billy Idol.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

The Honda Elite scooter. This is right when it was really climbing in Pyatt's store. There's a huge stand of Panama Jack.

[Chris Ryan]

Sunscreen with, like, negative 5 SPF.

[Bill Simmons]

It's basically putting gasoline on your body.

[Chris Ryan]

Pure peanut oil.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know if I Think Panama Jack. I think that it's all been outlawed.

[Chris Ryan]

What if Kennedy's like, we gotta bring back Panama Jack. That's a great American company.

[Bill Simmons]

We need Tanner people. We see at one point, gas is a dollar and five cents. That jumped out.

[Chris Ryan]

That was probably high.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

We've seen this in a couple other movies. We've done multiple people who don't know each other watching a wall of TVs in a store. Yeah, I want to go back to that.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

And then like, that being how you found out about, like.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. How you found out about major news.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

An authentic Beta movie camera, I think, is the winner. I do want to shout out Hubie's shorts in the scene when they steal the bike. We called them back in the day jams. Or at least we did. Where I live. The shorts, they were like, had like these crazy patterns. They almost looked like they'd been electrocuted.

[Chris Ryan]

It was like. It was also like, indicative of. In the summer, if you were a kid, you wear swim trunks all day long.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

You never know. You never know when you might swim.

[Bill Simmons]

Right. But they were like. They were like. They could go swim. Swim trunks. But you could also just wear them when you went out.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah, they.

[Bill Simmons]

They all had like weird designs and colors and this was a two year run that I can't really explain.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, it was day to night. It was okay to wear the beach, but it was also okay to wear to Chili's.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

You know, you missed the biggest 1985 thing. I can't believe we haven't talked about it yet.

[Bill Simmons]

What's here?

[Chris Ryan]

Jimmy J. Judge, C101 Talk Radio.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Just taking calls about local crime and weather and playing hot tunes.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like five years later. That makes no sense.

[Chris Ryan]

Also, the only thing anyone in all of Corpus Christi is constantly listening to is Jimmy J. It's how Binks finds out that they have to go on the run. It's like they listen to it all the time in the car. I don't think I ever realized until this viewing of this movie. They never leave Corpus Christi.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Like, they don't even get out of town.

[Bill Simmons]

Right. How big is Corpus Christi? Is it like London?

[Sierra McClain]

I know.

[Bill Simmons]

What was the most 1985 thing for you? What? Jumped out watching it, Craig.

[Sierra McClain]

Oh, man. I mean, her hair. Probably the haircut choice has to be the most 80s thing.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

I gotta say, Jimmy J. Judge is up there with my favorite movie radio DJs with Clint and play Misty for me. Oh, Stephen Wright, DJ in Reservoir Dogs.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Was it Lynn Thigpen in the Warriors?

[Bill Simmons]

Don't forget about Ellen Barkin in the Fan.

[Chris Ryan]

Ellen Barkin in the Fan.

[Bill Simmons]

And playing the fabulous sports babe Adrian.

[Chris Ryan]

Barbeau in the Fog.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, yeah, That's a good one. What stage? The best. Mr. Pyatt is just an amazing 80s villain. I don't think he's gotten enough credit for how, like, disgusting he was in every respect. Really, really, like, well drawn out. I hate this guy. I'm glad his store is burning down by the end of the movie.

[Chris Ryan]

And also, like the. It's perfect that he actually has the store that he has because that's the guy who would get T shirts printed up as fast as possible.

[Bill Simmons]

I had exchange scenes in an 80s mall going wrong.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Feels like a recurring theme. Like, we'll meet there 12:30.

[Chris Ryan]

Meet me in public somewhere.

[Bill Simmons]

Always, like, places for the cops to hide. And there's plants and weird stores and then chases and escalators. And people can hop from the escalator going down and the one going up. Always worth what you have. I had a few more.

[Chris Ryan]

Young Christian Slater.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Billie Jean's haircut becoming a local phenomenon is pretty good.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

And I love in the mall after the exchange goes bad, the local TV doing man on the street responses. And the woman's just like. They're just picking on her because she's a lady. And he goes like, there. You have a woman's perspective.

[Bill Simmons]

Right. The female perspective.

[Sierra McClain]

He's like kind of poo, pooing it. He's like, yeah. All right.

[Bill Simmons]

I had any time in a movie when people shoplift with IOU notes.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah. That.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't think it's ever happened in real life.

[Chris Ryan]

Isn't that basically Klarna, you're gonna chipotle. It's like, I have a dollar.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I'll be back.

[Bill Simmons]

The. The fact that the Slaters aren't related, but they actually generally look like their brother and sister.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Here's. Here's one that I. I honestly could have used more of in the 80s and 90s when characters found an empty, really nice suburban semi mansion to hide in for a couple days.

[Chris Ryan]

Amazing.

[Bill Simmons]

Why did we stop doing this?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

This is the whole plot of Beverly Hills Cop 2.

[Chris Ryan]

This is why, like, maybe ring cameras were a mistake. You know what I mean?

[Bill Simmons]

That would have been a good hobby.

[Chris Ryan]

Because you don't.

[Bill Simmons]

You don't get to get rid of ring cameras.

[Chris Ryan]

You don't get to find out that a bunch of teens have been living in your house while you were vacationing.

[Bill Simmons]

I mean, it could have been the whole movie. They're just living there and order during whatever delivery. Pizza Delivery. I had 80s high school bad guys.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Like Hubie's crew. Cobra Kai.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

James Spader's crew. And Pretty in Pink. Like just. They're some of the most evil people we had in movies. They were just like 17 year old.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Always a blind guy.

[Bill Simmons]

Always like super flirty and borderline sexual harassment.

[Chris Ryan]

They're always chewing gum named like Hubie or Bart.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. At the end they have some sort of realization that maybe this was the wrong way to go.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Hubie at the end of this movie is like, yeah, I'm gonna let my dad burn to death. I don't care. Go get a pizza. Johnny Lawrence, the democratic kid. This.

[Chris Ryan]

I'm going to TCU in the fall. It's too heavy for me.

[Bill Simmons]

This is a deep cut. What stage the best movie characters getting mad that the ransom number for them wasn't high enough.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Keith Gordon being like only 10k.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I like anytime that happens.

[Chris Ryan]

That's actually a ton of money for 1985 in Texas.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I like anytime a movie character says your money lets you get away with anything. Lloyd's hostage plan, which is ridiculous. But I also have it as a what stage? The best, like really inventive way to try to get laid.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

She's like, I just. I just need to stay around Billie Jean and keep taking shots.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

He knows this will happen.

[Chris Ryan]

Also like, just like him being like, I'm super into Houdini. So this is chance to put my. My tricks into action.

[Bill Simmons]

Mark Saffin did the theme music for this. He also did the closing in song for the golf course chase.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yep.

[Bill Simmons]

Do you know what song he did that's an absolutely all time iconic 80s movie song.

[Craig Horlbeck]

No.

[Bill Simmons]

Win in the end in Teen Wolf. Really? The whole basketball scene. Win in the end. I'm gonna win in the end. You don't remember that one. Craig from Teen Wolf. It's like five minutes of him just singing win in the end.

[Craig Horlbeck]

The.

[Chris Ryan]

The music in the scene where she walks out and. And she first gets her haircut, I'm pretty convinced is just like where Stranger Things got the music.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I mean this could have been a hottest take. I think Stranger Things really studied like three, four movies. It's like E. T. E T. I think they studied this.

[Chris Ryan]

Maybe Goonies in this.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I think there's some Karate Kid. Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Eleven. Having the haircut.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I. But I think that. I think if you gave True Serum to those guys. I think they would admit.

[Chris Ryan]

They would admit it.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Big Kahuna burger were best use of food and drink. I just always enjoy when somebody dumps a milkshake on a movie. Billy. That's. That's just gonna win me over every time.

[Chris Ryan]

It's also very 1980s to be like, it's hot out, let's get like a big cup of milk, you know?

[Bill Simmons]

Right. Who would get a milkshake? And yeah, it's a 98 degree weather one in the afternoon.

[Chris Ryan]

I had the. The shopping cart full of junk food that Potter. Potter tries to buy and convenience store. It's like all butterfingers, right?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Great shot, Gordo. Or most cinematic shot. There is a nice big wide shot of them lying on that. Whatever that big wood thing is in the lake.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And it just seems calm and quiet. And you're like, oh man, something bad.

[Sierra McClain]

The hair reveal is cool when it starts down.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Incredible.

[Chris Ryan]

There's a shot by Jeff Kimball. Jeffrey Kimball, who shot Top Gun.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Like, wow.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Chris Ryan]

It looks really, really good chest.

[Bill Simmons]

Rockwell Brocklander's award for best character name. Billie Jean Davies. Pretty good.

[Chris Ryan]

Awesome.

[Bill Simmons]

I do love Binks.

[Craig Horlbeck]

And I.

[Bill Simmons]

And I. But I. I think the winner is Hubie Pyatt. That's just somebody you want to punch in the face.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

We don't name kids Hubie anymore, do we?

[Sierra McClain]

Nor Binks.

[Chris Ryan]

I think Binks is a nickname, right?

[Sierra McClain]

Oh, is it?

[Chris Ryan]

I'd assume.

[Sierra McClain]

For what?

[Bill Simmons]

So his name would be Binks. Davey.

[Chris Ryan]

I would assume his name's like Bradley or Bobby or something like that.

[Bill Simmons]

What do you have for a flex category, Sierra?

[Chris Ryan]

I have a couple, but I. I did. Can we do Z wantnail? Can we talk it out?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Does Lloyd get heavy into VHS porn? Because I think it's in play.

[Bill Simmons]

He becomes like Buttman.

[Chris Ryan]

He's got all the equipment, you know, he's got a little bit of startup capital. He's had his taste of crime. I think that he launches a competitor to Vivid Video banks, moves to Burlington, Vermont and becomes scooper at an early Ben and Jerry store and kind of bums around the mountains. Sells some bad acid at a dead show and gets his ass kicked. Lloyd's dad winds up having a low key role in the David Koresh standoff. Hubie becomes lieutenant governor and Billy Jean gets embroiled in a year long, years long copyright litigation.

[Bill Simmons]

Hu's the governor of Texas for like 28 years. What do you mean? I actually ironically put this in the rundown after unanswerable Questions. And I had the Z award. What happened the next day? Binks eventually becomes the father to Doug McCrae in the town. Yeah. Yeah, that's his dad. His dad is Binks.

[Chris Ryan]

His idea of what Vermont is like must be so up because it's just that chick on a poster.

[Bill Simmons]

I mean, honestly, even people in Vermont are like, dude, yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Don't get your hopes up.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah, it's.

[Bill Simmons]

Vermont's fine.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Sierra McClain]

Do kids still hang up posters of hot women in their rooms growing up? Did Ben do that?

[Craig Horlbeck]

No.

[Sierra McClain]

What a shame.

[Chris Ryan]

It's because it's all on their phone, right?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Sierra McClain]

That's a bummer.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. I had some good ones.

[Sierra McClain]

That's such a vibe.

[Chris Ryan]

I. Kathy Ireland. Sure. On my wall from this.

[Bill Simmons]

I like QB being. Being in some sort of major political role in Texas.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Like playing off the Billie Jean thing.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I learned my lessons. The Butch's girlfriend award week link of the film. It's either Billie Jean saving the Kenny, the random abuse kid. That whole section. Or Billie Jean getting shot at by these two people trying to get a ransom. That whole section of the movie, by the way. I like that whole section movie. It's just. We kind of go sideways there for a second.

[Chris Ryan]

I know that Yardley Smith is like, in. In an interview was like, I don't understand why my character gets her period, like, in the middle of this movie for the first time. But I do think the child abuse section where it's just like, you gotta save Kenny. It's like, well, I'm on the run from the law, so I can't do that.

[Bill Simmons]

I like when she comes out of the house and she's like, kenny's gonna live with his grandmother. And the crowd's like, yeah, little.

[Chris Ryan]

We do know the grandmother's worse than the.

[Bill Simmons]

Kenny has ct, but he's gonna live with his grandmother. What's age the worst we mentioned earlier but dreaming about someday living in Vermont. Weird. Like, why not go, I don't know, like California?

[Chris Ryan]

Well, I think it's because it's 120 degrees.

[Sierra McClain]

The heat. And he has. He's only seen one poster of Vermont. He probably can't name another city there.

[Chris Ryan]

He thinks all of Vermont is chicks who are naked underneath their ski suits.

[Bill Simmons]

It would have been funny if he had just saw Hot Dog, the movie.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And was like, this is my jam. This is what I need. What do you have? I have a few.

[Chris Ryan]

I have a good old boy taking a shot at Billy with a hunting rifle while she's surrounded by kids in order to get the down payment for his house pretty up and station wagons fishtailing a lot. You know, we. We just have better suspensions now. Yeah, but, like, that was like, some of those cars were really dangerous back then.

[Bill Simmons]

It's a good point. Because the chase scenes were just better back then, but because the cars were worse.

[Chris Ryan]

Would just, like, spin.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Out. But, like, now.

[Bill Simmons]

It's a really good point.

[Chris Ryan]

Thank you.

[Bill Simmons]

Thanks. I would. What, Stage the worst. I would have toned down Benatar and Invincible maybe by one song or brought it up by another three. Here's a. I don't think it was at the right number. Maybe five more or two less.

[Chris Ryan]

It's too bad that I think Pat Benatar has a strange relationship to this movie, but it would have been great if she would have recorded, like, an acoustic version to play, like, during the second scene, you know, or something.

[Bill Simmons]

So I read in the research she didn't like this movie.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

But then I don't. I didn't know if that was true because she still plays it at concerts.

[Chris Ryan]

Well, I mean, it's her song. I think she's just like, this is the song from the dumbest movie ever made. Come on, Pat.

[Bill Simmons]

That. I mean, that gets. I. I almost want to break out the. You Raj for that. For Pat.

[Chris Ryan]

Settle down, Pat.

[Bill Simmons]

Settle the Down, Pat. Like, what other song in a movie does she even have at this point? The way adults talk to Billie Jean. We mentioned the original title of this film was Fair is Fair Tough. You like that? More or less. The legend ability.

[Chris Ryan]

I think if it had been called Fair is Fair. I wonder if it does better at the box office. But it does not become a cult classic the way it did.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Legend of Billy Jean.

[Bill Simmons]

Here's my big one. So. And it makes sense because in the research, they said this. They had to do some re shoots, and her hair was different, so she had to wear a wig for some of the.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah, you can tell you just.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like. It's really bad. Like, she. She looks like. There's a couple scenes where she just looks like she has Steve Kerr's hair and, like, the 98 bulls. It just makes no sense. And then it goes back to the old hair. Yeah, but, man, I wish. It's funny that Peters cared so much about the haircut and then didn't care. He was.

[Chris Ryan]

He was on the Batman by then.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

He's like, whatever. I'm move down the Top Gun. All right, let's do one more break, and then we'll do the rest of The Categories this episode is brought to you by Viori. Look, I'm not a big let's hype up workout clothes guy, but Vuori, I gotta say, total game changer. Been wearing a lot. If you see me power walking around Los Angeles, probably gonna see me wearing some Vuori Sunday performance joggers that they have. It's made with four way performance stretch fabric, one of the most comfortable things you own. You will wear them everywhere, I promise. All you have to do is go to Vuori.com Simmons and you get 20% off your first purchase with Vuori. V U O-R-I.com Simmons enjoy. Free shipping on all US orders over $75 plus free returns. Exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions. This message is a paid partnership with Apple Card. There's one thing I'm going to make sure I pack for my summer vacation. It's my Apple card. I can earn up to 3% daily cash back on every purchase, including fuel for my car and booking places to stay. Plus, I don't have to worry about fees, including foreign transaction fees, which is perfect when I'm planning to travel abroad. To get an Apple Card for your summer travels, apply on the Wallet app on your iPhone today. Subject to credit approval. Apple card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City Branch. Variable APRs for Apple Card range from 18.24% to 28.49% based on credit worthiness rates as of July 1, 2025. Terms and [e-mail] all right, Ruffalo Hand and Ruben Egg Partridge Overacting Word Putter's mom who's just the worst person I was in the movie?

[Chris Ryan]

Kenny's dad.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, Kenny's dad.

[Chris Ryan]

Seemed like he was really methoding out there. Like, all right. So I've been living in the back of this trailer for like two months. They're like, hey, we just need you for one scene.

[Bill Simmons]

Can you just be evil and smelly? CR thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harris Support how to take award what do you got?

[Chris Ryan]

I think in my lifetime, mass media should have stopped evolving right at the moment of this movie depicts. So that would basically be early cable radio. You have some people who have like video cameras. So there is like, you're able to make your own stuff, but not easily. And it just basically means that I would never have a job and I would work at a record store for the rest of my life. But I'd be okay with that if we could go back to, like this moment because it was Just so perfect in my mind, which I think probably most people who are like, I would like to go back to when it was like I was 10. That was the perfect moment. Like whether it was this game platform or this kind of like the cable tv. Like you had hbo, but that was it. Everybody probably thinks that for whatever they are, but it was like, this is just such a perfect moment in my mind. Like, I still remember sitting in the backseat of my mom's car and like listening to WMMR or Eagle 106 and just be like these. These are the only 20 songs I need to know.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, 84 and 85. You're right. We had it all figured out. My take, Keith Gordon, Widest range of excellent performance to horrible performance of any actor of the last 50 years in.

[Chris Ryan]

This film specifically or across the course of his career.

[Bill Simmons]

He has a run. I think he's really good in this movie. He's pretty good in Dress to Kill. He's good in Christine. He's horrific. And Back to School with Rodney Dangerfield. It's one of the worst performances of the 80s and Christine. He's kind of all over the place. I don't know what he's going for there, to be fair. Jaws. Jaws too. Pretty solid. But she's just all over. I. I don't have a reasonable.

[Chris Ryan]

He became a director. Yeah, he did a Midnight Clear, which is really good. Did he direct Chocolate War? I can't remember who.

[Bill Simmons]

Or is he directed A bunch of ones.

[Chris Ryan]

Anyway, he's. But he's become like a very good director.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah, but good.

[Chris Ryan]

That's a. That's a hot take.

[Bill Simmons]

He was in kind of more movies than maybe he should have been. I think we would have been good with like three Keith Gordon movies, but he's in six.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

It's funny. He's like kind of like the. He's like off brand. Matthew Broderick a little bit.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Like darker.

[Craig Horlbeck]

It has that.

[Chris Ryan]

He has that like, kind of like a little bit of like I'm. I'm a little bit of a nerd. But I could also be cool, you know?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

But I also like.

[Chris Ryan]

I could see him in War Games.

[Bill Simmons]

I still met a. Tried heroin.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Casting what ifs. Couldn't find any.

[Chris Ryan]

Nah, me neither.

[Bill Simmons]

Best that guy. Word. Yardley Smith is putter.

[Sierra McClain]

Lisa Simpson.

[Bill Simmons]

She hardly. Smith.

[Chris Ryan]

I think she's Lisa Simpson.

[Sierra McClain]

She's Lisa Simpson.

[Chris Ryan]

I had Barry Tub, who was Wolfman and Top gun and he's QB in this movie.

[Bill Simmons]

I had Richard Bradford as Mr. Pyatt. Because the only other thing I. He's just one of those guys. He was in the Untouchables, apparently.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

He's the. He's the cop who's like, this is a cop spot.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I never knew that guy's name. I knew who. Barry Tubbs.

[Chris Ryan]

That's a really. From let's do Bradford. You're right.

[Bill Simmons]

Barry Tub I knew. From Top Gun.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And he's been in some other stuff too. Dion Waiter's award. I don't think the undercover mustard mustache cops can win this. It's probably Putter.

[Chris Ryan]

It's Dean Stockwell. What are you talking about?

[Bill Simmons]

Dean Stockwell?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Really? Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

He comes in. He's like, I'm 10 months away from making Paris, Texas. He's like, a really good actor, and I'm just gonna be the district attorney of Corpus Christi. And the scene he has with Peter Coyote in the beginning where he's like, yeah, it's pretty smart to do it this way. Like, if you were gonna do it, like, blah, blah. Really good scene. He's good.

[Bill Simmons]

I go with Putter. I think Putter's funny. Okay, Recasting couch. Director City. Can I offer you young James Spader.

[Chris Ryan]

As Lloyd in the same city, or you want to move it to, like, Concord, New Hampshire or something?

[Bill Simmons]

No, I.

[Chris Ryan]

He.

[Bill Simmons]

I think he. Texas. Is it up, by the way, Keith Gordon. No accent in this movie for Corpus Christi.

[Chris Ryan]

I assume he goes to private school.

[Sierra McClain]

What about young Cusack for Lloyd?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Sierra McClain]

18, 19 years old.

[Bill Simmons]

There you go, Craig.

[Chris Ryan]

There you go.

[Bill Simmons]

It's great.

[Sierra McClain]

Don't crush that.

[Bill Simmons]

I have a rarely seen recasting. A music scene choice. Okay. Because I felt like this was one one away from being a pretty great soundtrack. The golf course scene. This song's not good enough. Pretty Persuasion by REM Needed something with a little kick where they're running. And I think that was. I went through all my 80s playlist trying to find the perfect one, and I think that's where I landed.

[Chris Ryan]

Can I just. Off the top of my head, throwing at you.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

When they are doing the. Like, let's help Billie Jean escape across the city with all the girls who look like Billie Jean.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Voices Carrie by Till Tuesday.

[Bill Simmons]

Ooh. Female artist. Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Amy Mann, Female artist.

[Bill Simmons]

Like how you're thinking women.

[Chris Ryan]

That's what we're doing.

[Bill Simmons]

I like. Because we got the Divinols in the beginning.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Craig. What? Your flex category or did it.

[Sierra McClain]

I want to. I have another one, though. I guess it's a. I guess I'll call it A weak link. Maybe it's a picking knit. I'm going to double down as a feminist ally here with cr. I don't know.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't get to be a feminist ally.

[Sierra McClain]

What happened after the. After the cup situation? Yeah, you're canceled. You have to earn your way back. I don't know if Billie Jean needed a love interest. I feel like that kind of like she just fell in love with the first random dude she meets on the road. And I think it's a. It takes away from the female empowerment that she needs this man and she immediately falls in love with this guy.

[Chris Ryan]

I fucking like that idea, Craig. And it also is kind of like we don't get to explore the loneliness of fame.

[Sierra McClain]

No, it's like she just falls in.

[Chris Ryan]

Love with the first guy she sees.

[Sierra McClain]

In mid-80s they were like she needs a love interest. I'm sure.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Sierra McClain]

But I thought they should have held.

[Chris Ryan]

Strong little revision of that. What if it would had been a love triangle with her Hugh B. And. And Lloyd and like she had had something going with Hubie and that's just his way of like communicating to her.

[Bill Simmons]

I mean Hubie was the heir to this crappy tourist store in the middle of nowhere, Texas.

[Chris Ryan]

All of these seashells and this could.

[Bill Simmons]

All be yours someday.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, you'll work here with me.

[Bill Simmons]

That whole Panama Jack stand right there.

[Chris Ryan]

We can adopt Kenny, get skin cancer together.

[Bill Simmons]

Half ass Internet research. The actress who played Putter's mother apparently slapped Yardley Smith. For real.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh my God.

[Bill Simmons]

And then the DVD commentary. That's why she went flying backwards. And her face was dumb. After they really went for it in the 80s yearly Smith almost. She refused to cut her hair for the part. So when they show her their haircut. She's got a ponytail.

[Sierra McClain]

I thought she was great in this movie.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, I thought she was really good.

[Sierra McClain]

I obviously know she went on to do the Simpsons but was she in a lot of other comedy movies? Did the Simpsons just kind of gobble up all over time?

[Chris Ryan]

I don't. She was in City Slickers and she was in. Was she in a sitcom For a.

[Bill Simmons]

While before she bounced around. She had a couple.

[Sierra McClain]

She had great timing.

[Chris Ryan]

She could have been the friend in.

[Sierra McClain]

A lot of good comedy.

[Bill Simmons]

She's really funny. The miniature golf course is gone. It's now the Texas State Aquarium. The mall is done.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

You can watch a 30 minute video of the guy, a guy made of just like going through this decrepit, dilapidated, abandoned mall.

[Sierra McClain]

We should buy the ringer. Should buy a mall that should be our office as an old mall in Corpus Christi.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

You ready to move?

[Sierra McClain]

It's probably like 15 grand to buy, right?

[Chris Ryan]

What if it was like, return to work? Like return to the office, but in Corpus Christi.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Do you remember when you can work.

[Sierra McClain]

Inside of the husk of an Orange Julius? That'd be awesome.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Were you working with us when I seriously investigated buying the Boogie Night's house? Doing the video there, that probably would have been a mistake.

[Sierra McClain]

That's like very east la, right?

[Chris Ryan]

Where is it?

[Bill Simmons]

No, it's in.

[Chris Ryan]

It's in Tarzana, isn't it?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, no, no, it's. It's closer toward Chino.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Oh.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, yeah, it was. It was like a good 40 minutes away.

[Sierra McClain]

How close were you to actually doing it?

[Bill Simmons]

Not actually that close. Once I actually wazed it out and did a couple different times to. Yeah, imagine poor cahow, like, being like, hey, we're shooting at the Boogie tonight. I'll leave today to get there tomorrow.

[Chris Ryan]

Three hour drive.

[Bill Simmons]

The last research thing was just the. The Pat Benatar thing we mentioned earlier where she said this was from the worst movie ever made, and then belted out Invincible. I hope that's not true. And if it's true, it's a borderline settle down, Pat.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, I saw a bunch of.

[Bill Simmons]

Not a fuck you, Raj, but it's a Settle down, Pat.

[Chris Ryan]

There's this really cool website called fast-rewind.com and it's got like a ton of stuff about the kind of movies that we were talking about in the beginning of the pie. 80s VHS classics. But their. Their way of like posting behind the scenes information is like, you can just write in and be like, I was an extra on this movie and Helen Slater sucked. So I don't know, like, whether it's true or not, but it does sound like Helen Slater was, like, very opinionated about her haircut and about, like, how the movie was being made. Good for her, though.

[Bill Simmons]

Apex Mountain. Helen Slater.

[Chris Ryan]

Good for her, though. Yeah, I guess. Though this is Supergirl, I think it's.

[Bill Simmons]

Secret of my Success.

[Chris Ryan]

Because wouldn't you say this is a bigger movie now and.

[Bill Simmons]

No, because it bombed when it came out. And Supergirl. Supergirl bombed too.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, that's right.

[Bill Simmons]

Secret of my Success. She's in a movie with Michael J. Fox. He's on Family Ties. He's like one of the biggest TV stars in the world. That's a pretty good movie. And it felt like she was headed for bigger things.

[Chris Ryan]

Well, by that same token, wouldn't City Slickers be your Apex Mountain then because she's in. Wasn't Sea Slickers like the biggest movie in the world for a little while?

[Bill Simmons]

I'll just tell you this, Sierra. I know you had a lot of aspiration stock. It was sad to see in the bankruptcy filings. I had a lot of Helen Slater.

[Chris Ryan]

Stock, CR, LLC, K2.

[Bill Simmons]

I had a lot of Helen. A lot of us did a lot of Helen Slater stock when she was in that Michael J. Fox movie. It was like, here we go. Same thing with Elizabeth Shue when she's in Cocktail. It's like, here we go here. Everyone on the bus. We're headed toward the Oscars. And, you know, some of these people just never made it. Kelly Preston was another one.

[Chris Ryan]

It's like if Helen Slater had been in Working Girl. What are we talking about today?

[Craig Horlbeck]

You know?

[Bill Simmons]

Wow, look at you. Christian Slater. No. Honda Elite scooters.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

I think. Yes. This is right. This was somebody who. Lou Reed did the Honda Elite scooter ad in 85. Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

What?

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, yeah. 100.

[Chris Ryan]

What?

[Bill Simmons]

Lou Reed did a Honda Elite scooter.

[Chris Ryan]

Like a endorsement or he did a song for. Oh, the Walk on the Wild.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

No.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, I had no idea. Man, that's cool.

[Bill Simmons]

Self haircuts. Has anyone ever pulled off a better self haircut?

[Sierra McClain]

No. She crushed it.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

She really did smoke it and it instantaneously becomes iconic.

[Bill Simmons]

Craig, who cut your hair during COVID the first two months? Liz. Liz did it.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Sierra McClain]

But it was like basically just. She didn't really touch the top.

[Craig Horlbeck]

It was.

[Sierra McClain]

You just kind of like shaved the sides. Let it get long.

[Chris Ryan]

I just. Yeah, I like pretty. I don't have to cut my hair very much.

[Bill Simmons]

My wife did mine.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And it was kind of fun.

[Sierra McClain]

For a couple months.

[Bill Simmons]

I had. My hair just goes up.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And it was just like. I just looked like a mushroom. And we were like. So we got this razor and she just started. Yeah, she started piloting you because we were doing pods on Zoom at that point, and I think we were wearing hats most of the time.

[Sierra McClain]

But you should have kept it going for the castaway solo pod. You should have said.

[Bill Simmons]

I wish that was on video. Could you imagine if that was just existed on YouTube?

[Sierra McClain]

Oh, I should check.

[Bill Simmons]

No, I. It's not a. I didn't do it on video. Do you think I just turned the. The recorder on and did it?

[Chris Ryan]

This is Apex Mountain for Peter Coyote or is it narrating Ken Burns, the Civil War?

[Bill Simmons]

What is Apex Mountain for him? He's been embedded no, it's ET, right?

[Chris Ryan]

I guess so.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Sierra McClain]

He's got great hair in this movie. He looks like Bob Myers.

[Bill Simmons]

I was like Peter Coyote.

[Chris Ryan]

I think it's this award.

[Bill Simmons]

Apex Mountain for Billy Jeans. We have the song Billie Jean. We have Legend of Billie Jean.

[Chris Ryan]

That's a great call.

[Bill Simmons]

And Billie Jean King.

[Sierra McClain]

I was gonna ask about that if the name was especially popular. If they specifically chose the name Billie Jean because of the.

[Chris Ryan]

No, it was actually. They were really annoyed about that. I think I read something about it.

[Sierra McClain]

Oh really?

[Bill Simmons]

I think Billie Jean. This was a more common name back then.

[Sierra McClain]

Is that right?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, there's been a Billie Jean in 30 years.

[Chris Ryan]

I thought that this, that was the name was supposed to be like a play on Billy the Kid. You know what I mean? Like she's like a Outlaw Rises.

[Bill Simmons]

We had Billy Joe's and Billie Jeans and now we'd have neither.

[Sierra McClain]

No Billie Jean. The song came out in 83.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Sierra McClain]

So it was hugely popular.

[Bill Simmons]

Craig. I'm aware.

[Sierra McClain]

Interesting. I'm just saying like how could moments.

[Bill Simmons]

Of my life in 83. I feel like Billie Jean video.

[Sierra McClain]

The producers being upset that people were comparing this movie to that movie or you know, connecting the names. It's like, why would you do it then?

[Bill Simmons]

It's super obvious.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

You've just named your character after one of the five biggest songs in the 80s. Maybe people are going to be confused. Fair being fair. Apex Mountain.

[Chris Ryan]

I mean, certainly isn't now.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Short haired, 80s woman.

[Chris Ryan]

Benatar Slater. Who else had a cool short haircut back then?

[Bill Simmons]

I mean it was the look for a while there.

[Chris Ryan]

It's. Yeah, it's kind of like. Like it's going back to Veronica Cartwright.

[Bill Simmons]

Alien Family Ties.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Courtney Cox in Dancing in the Dark. Short hair in that. She have short. No, it's long. She has longer hair than that, right?

[Bill Simmons]

No, I think it was shorter.

[Chris Ryan]

Martha Plimpton and Goonies, right? Yeah, longer than that.

[Bill Simmons]

Sturby beach had to have been Apex Mountain. The final scene. That's what it was called. Our radio guys like, whoa, big day here at Sturby Beach. Yardley Smith, it's the Simpsons. Which made her probably. She's probably buying the Portland Trailblazers. Corpus Christi movies. I'm gonna say yes. Barry Tub. Top Gun.

[Chris Ryan]

Top Gun.

[Bill Simmons]

Keith Gordon, Christine. Movies built around him.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Joan of Arc. Probably not.

[Chris Ryan]

No. I think it's got some other peaks.

[Bill Simmons]

All the other, all the other peaks.

[Chris Ryan]

She had be defeating the English.

[Bill Simmons]

Cruise or Hanks. How about very young Tom Cruise? As Banks could see It.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Like all the right Cruise ever. Bleach, blonde his hair.

[Bill Simmons]

Just for collateral. Grade it.

[Chris Ryan]

He grade it. Yeah. You could also see if things have gone a different way. Cruise being like a good guy in Hubie's gang.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Right?

[Bill Simmons]

You know, like the guy taking the photos.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Scorsese or Spielberg. Clearly Scorsese. We get cocaine.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Mr. Pyatt.

[Chris Ryan]

Mr. Pyatt's running a coke.

[Bill Simmons]

Selling cocaine in the top floor. I mean, they probably should have done that anyway, right? Yeah, it should have been. She burns this thing down. But then it turns out he's also the biggest coke dealer in Corpus Christi.

[Chris Ryan]

And like, Lloyd is way more of like a. Like a Paul Schrader character. I never leave my house.

[Bill Simmons]

I just.

[Chris Ryan]

I just write my journal.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

What role would Philip Seymour Hoffman have played? Clearly Hubie.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah. All right.

[Bill Simmons]

Picking it. Can't wait for this.

[Chris Ryan]

Let me go first for this one.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Okay.

[Chris Ryan]

It just seems like there are a lot of detectives working this case in Corpus Christi. There's like no other crime.

[Bill Simmons]

Scumbag got shot in the shoulder and it's fine.

[Chris Ryan]

But as a part of that, it's like, how many times does Hubie try to take matters into his own hands during a literal police intervention? Like.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Did obstruction of justice just not exist in Texas in the 1980s?

[Bill Simmons]

Pretty tough.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I had my first pick in it is these kids would have been caught in 45 minutes.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

They never left Corpus Christi. They went to the same three spots. Pretty sure we could have found them. Would. All right, so they're living in a Corpus Christi trailer park.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

It's apparently still there.

[Bill Simmons]

Binks gets some money and he buys a really expensive Honda Elite scooter. I have some questions.

[Chris Ryan]

So what do you think he should be spending his money on?

[Bill Simmons]

I just had some questions. Okay. That's like. Like a thousand dollar scooter. He wasn't worried it was gonna get robbed by somebody? No, I was parking outside with no bike lock.

[Chris Ryan]

He's 15. He's like, this is as good as it's gonna get. I've been.

[Bill Simmons]

I support the choice. I'm just saying.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

So they break into a house and it just happens to be the district attorney's house.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Out of all the houses.

[Chris Ryan]

A little bit of a fairy tale.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And the district attorney lives in Corpus.

[Chris Ryan]

Christi but isn't home.

[Bill Simmons]

But it's never home.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

He's somewhere else. He's in Dallas. Okay.

[Chris Ryan]

And he has a private shopper.

[Bill Simmons]

Why not just stay at Lloyd's house when you're hiding.

[Chris Ryan]

I don't think anyone.

[Bill Simmons]

Let me come with you, and I'll be your hostage. It's like. Or we could just stay at your house. Nobody knows we're here.

[Chris Ryan]

I think it's supposed to be that, like. Like, they have to get the two sisters home. Like, this is. Can't go on forever, you know? But it just seems like Lloyd probably could have given them 100 bucks for gas, and they could have gotten pretty close to Vermont on that.

[Bill Simmons]

But to stay at the house for a couple more days. Use the pool slide. My number one. I have a couple more, but. Sharpshooters at the Billie Jean rally.

[Chris Ryan]

Insane. Insane sharpshooters. Sharpshooters who are also seemingly only taking orders from the district attorney. Not from.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Not from the head of Corpus Christi police.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

The number one detective.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Shoot her in the head if you get a good shot.

[Craig Horlbeck]

The.

[Bill Simmons]

The banks hostage plan at the end is legitimately insane.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know why anyone thought that was gonna work. And then at the end, they just let her leave.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I know.

[Bill Simmons]

All charges have been dropped.

[Chris Ryan]

Well, I think it's supposed to be that Mr. Pyatt has clearly done some bad, and so they're just like. Like, it's, like, offsetting penalties.

[Sierra McClain]

Do they think that Billie Jean shot Pyatt, or do they know that Binks did?

[Chris Ryan]

I think they know that Binks did, but I think Billie Jean is. They've reported. Billie Jean has made, like, 600 robberies in two days or something. So that's why he's like, this is ridiculous. All these robberies are happening at the same time.

[Sierra McClain]

Like, also, if her goal is to not. I. I don't really know what she's. Is she trying to be recognized or is she not? Because if she's. If she wants to remain anonymous, she should have cut her hair after the video.

[Chris Ryan]

She wanted to be. Remain anonymous until Pya and everybody started going on the news.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

And talking about her.

[Sierra McClain]

Because if she didn't want to be recognized, you.

[Chris Ryan]

You.

[Sierra McClain]

You record the video for the news and then cut your hair so you look different.

[Bill Simmons]

She realized she couldn't be anonymous because she was creating the Internet.

[Chris Ryan]

And she saw. And she saw Joan of Arc. And she was like, I'm gonna start the Internet.

[Bill Simmons]

She called out, gore. And she's like, I have an idea.

[Sierra McClain]

And she's like, now I'm the most recognizable person in Corpus Christi.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Where we can just somehow drive around in a. In a station wagon with license plates on it and evade police for Seven days, just in different spots. Let's go back to the miniature golf course again. You have any other picking it?

[Chris Ryan]

I don't.

[Bill Simmons]

Sequel Prequel, Prestige, tbl. Black cast or Untouchable? The prestige version of this is interesting. Written by Brad Inglesby.

[Chris Ryan]

Would you set it in Philly?

[Bill Simmons]

I said it in corporate Christie.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

Mr. Hyatt is. Is the biggest coke and opium and heroin dealer in Texas, but he has this thing as a shell.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Ponzi thing. There's a shooting there. But he. He now has to kill her because.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, Binks is on Fentanyl.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, Binks is. Tries Fentanyl for the first time and we just go.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah, I like that.

[Bill Simmons]

I just call it Billie Jean.

[Chris Ryan]

I also like the sequel where. Where Lloyd becomes like, the Jack Horner of VHS porn.

[Bill Simmons]

Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Danny Trejo, Mad Dog Russo, Doris Burke, Sam Jackson, Nell Byron Mayo, Tony Romo, Chris Collinsworth, Daniel Plainview, Long Legs or Wilford Brimley in the Firm.

[Chris Ryan]

I have a new, new addition to the category. And I want to say that this is out of the utmost respect, the deepest appreciation and love, but we have to add Peter Schrager to the category. Let's go, Bill. I've been talking to the Jack sisters, Ophelia and Putter, and you know what they said? Billie Jean is even more committed to fairness. I know there are a lot of girls out there with the haircut, and they are getting attention. And let me tell you, Billie Jean has been listening to C101 and she hears everything, and it's just moving, motivating her to get back to the top of the mountain. You think he's gonna get mad at that?

[Bill Simmons]

He'll love that. He'll love that. That was great. I had Mad Dog Russo. I mean, Mike, he's the da. He's got sharpshooters at the beach rally. What's he gonna do to a headshot.

[Chris Ryan]

Of Billy Jake Davy. What are we doing?

[Bill Simmons]

Just want to ask her.

[Chris Ryan]

I wonder how many people who are listening to the 57th minute of the Legend of Billy. G pod know who met a Dog.

[Bill Simmons]

And Shrags are probably not many. Just one Oscar. Who gets it? Probably Benatar was invincible. Original song for the movie.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

I mean, it's hard to give Jeffrey Kimball best cinematography, but I think it's the best part of this movie.

[Bill Simmons]

I feel like I have to look at the 1986 Oscars now. It could have been best original song. Right. If she did the song for the movie, which I think she did.

[Chris Ryan]

I don't know that she did do this. I mean, the video is basically from the movie, but I don't know.

[Bill Simmons]

The winner was say youy, say Me from White Nights. Music and lyric by Lionel Richie. Power of Love from Back to the Future did not win. What an outrage.

[Chris Ryan]

Oh, my God.

[Bill Simmons]

And then three more that. Whatever. I feel like she could have made it. All right, we are near the end here because we have probably unanswerable questions. Is this movie better if banks accidentally shoots Mr. Pyatt's head off at the beginning? Like, yeah, oh, I shot Marvin's head. Shot up Barbara's head. Whatever. He said if he just does. If he just actually, like, blows his head off. And now they're on the run because they've committed an accidental murder.

[Chris Ryan]

Yeah, but would it even be better if, like, the wolf came and helped them?

[Bill Simmons]

I had one more, but do you have any.

[Chris Ryan]

Do you. Who do you think Mr. Pyatt had in the. Danny White. Gary Hoga.

[Bill Simmons]

Boom.

[Chris Ryan]

Quarterback controversy from the Cowboys in 84. He's got a cowboy shirt on.

[Bill Simmons]

Did he have Mavs tickets?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

When the maps. When did the Mavs come into the league?

[Craig Horlbeck]

80. Oh, yeah. Wow.

[Bill Simmons]

They were the 85. Maps are good. I had. Did Mr. Pyatt create MAGA like, 30 years later? He's definitely, like, right in there with Trump.

[Chris Ryan]

I mean, he's. He's got every supplement.

[Bill Simmons]

Red hats.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Shirts. He's. He's. He's in.

[Chris Ryan]

But he's articulating a lot of that. Like, you know, I'm just. I'm a voter, and I just think these kids are running wild. You gotta clean this up.

[Bill Simmons]

What piece of memorabilia would you want or not want from this movie?

[Chris Ryan]

Lloyd's AV Setup, Home theater. That would have been sick. You know, fantasy was just like, oh, this guy, he's got all this. All the good stuff.

[Bill Simmons]

I would take the scooter, and that was the exact scooter I had for like, a year and a half before I crashed it.

[Chris Ryan]

The Honda Elite.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I had picked up one.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Huh.

[Bill Simmons]

That was the one when I really got banged up.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Because I was driving that. Those things were fast. They went up to, like, 60.

[Chris Ryan]

Damn.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, but those things were great. Lou Reed was promoting him.

[Chris Ryan]

It was you. Lou Reed and Slater.

[Bill Simmons]

They were great. Best double feature choice. I had the Terminator so we could have female empowerment heroes from the mid-80s. Sarah Connor and Billie Jean.

[Chris Ryan]

I would pair it with Last Starfighter or rad, which are just two classic cult VHS movies from this Time period.

[Bill Simmons]

And Helen Suede to run the movie.

[Chris Ryan]

What about the Coach Finstock Award? Is it Ferris Fair?

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, I forgot the Coach Finsight. Yeah, Ferris Fair. Helen Slater wins the movie.

[Craig Horlbeck]

She did.

[Chris Ryan]

Or you know, what did Pat Benatar win?

[Bill Simmons]

The movie is Invincible.

[Chris Ryan]

The thing that people remember from this.

[Bill Simmons]

Movie, I think it's Helen Slater. Okay, Craig never saw it. What'd you think?

[Sierra McClain]

I had never heard of it. I even asked Matt Bellany today as we were taping the Town. I said, have you heard of the movie the Legend of Billie Jean? He was like, no. So I was like, all right. Excited to get into this.

[Chris Ryan]

We still got some tricks up our sleeve.

[Bill Simmons]

Every time they think we've. We've zigged, we've zagged.

[Sierra McClain]

I really enjoyed this movie. I thought it was a really fun 95 minutes. I thought the plot was entertaining and smart. And, you know, with these movies, I kind of always toe the line between genuine love and ironic love for them. But I kind of think that's part of the fun of these 80s movies is, you know, they're a little bit on the. On the. On the fringe. But I enjoyed it. That was good.

[Chris Ryan]

Sometimes they just feel like time capsules to me now. Like, there's. I sent you guys that screenshot of, like, a bunch of the teens at the beach in the end scene, like in the exchange at the end. And I'm just like, look at these guys, man. Like, that's like a Life magazine photo.

[Craig Horlbeck]

This is.

[Chris Ryan]

I think I've said Life magazine twice now in two pods. But it's like. It is like, a document of what kids kind of, like, used to look like and.

[Sierra McClain]

Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

How they used to hang out back.

[Sierra McClain]

And it's just like, this movie is aggressively representing culture at this exact time. And I think a lot of stuff now doesn't. Maybe 30 years from now, we'll look back and be like, wow, the summer I turned pretty really encapsulates what 2024 was like, but it. It doesn't feel like it in the moment, I guess.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, yeah, it's interesting. This movie comes down to the four people are just a good hang. Billie Jean, her brother and the. And the two sisters. It's fun to hang out and it's a cool setting.

[Sierra McClain]

Yeah, yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

Like the first.

[Sierra McClain]

What is it, 20 minutes of Jaws 2 we were talking about. Like, this just looks fun. Fun hanging out here. It's a great setting. It's like, you know, you can.

[Chris Ryan]

Roy Scheider's got some problems. He's dealing with them yeah, it's cool.

[Sierra McClain]

He's probably using that tanning oil.

[Bill Simmons]

There was a lot of movies like this in the mid-80s. Like Anthony Michael hall made one where it's like Wrong person now in the run. And I think this movie did it the best. Yeah. There's a lot of bad versions of this.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And a lot of the out of bounds. Remember that one? Anthony Michael hall and Jenny Ray.

[Chris Ryan]

What's the one? Cloak and Dagger. Where, like, the kids on the. Like Dabney Coleman is like the spy.

[Bill Simmons]

Right, right.

[Chris Ryan]

And the kid goes on the run.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chris Ryan]

It's a great. It's a great premise.

[Sierra McClain]

I thought Helen Slater was great. I really liked her.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah. All right.

[Bill Simmons]

There you go. Thanks to Gehau. Thanks to Ronick as well. Thanks to Grow back for producing.

[Sierra McClain]

Thanks to Eduardo.

[Bill Simmons]

Thanks to Eduardo. Yeah, we got the whole crew.

[Chris Ryan]

This is some crew.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know what we have next week, but it'll definitely be interesting.

[Sierra McClain]

We have one banked if you want to run that one.

[Craig Horlbeck]

One?

[Sierra McClain]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Or maybe we're filming another one next week. We'll see. CR Pleasure, as always. I hope they throw to AJ Brown more next week.

[Craig Horlbeck]

We'll see.

[Bill Simmons]

Good to see you.

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Brad, you're on mute.

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