
Loading summary
Advertisement Voice
Did you know? About 1 in 3 people with plaque psoriasis may also develop psoriatic arthritis, which causes joint pain, stiffness and swelling. Does this sound like you listen to what it sounds like to be a million miles away. Trymphyia gusoquimab taken by injection, is a prescription medicine for adults with moderate to severe plaque psoriasis who may benefit from taking injections or pills or phototherapy. And for adults with active psoriatic arthritis, serious allergic reactions and increased risk of infections and liver problems may occur. Before treatment, your doctor should check you for infections and tuberculosis. Tell your doctor if you have an infection, flu like symptoms or if you need a vaccine. Imagine being a million miles away. Explore what's possible. Ask your doctor about Tremphya. Tap this ad to learn more about tremphya, including important safety information.
Bill Simmons
The rewatchables is brought to you by the Ringer podcast network where you can find the big picture with Sean Fennessy, now newsletter writer.
Chris Ryan
Yes, that's right.
Bill Simmons
Projections.
Chris Ryan
That's right.
Bill Simmons
How's that going for you?
Chris Ryan
Very well. As you know, writing is very easy and so it's been coming along nicely. Thank you for asking.
Bill Simmons
How much sleep have you had the last two weeks?
Chris Ryan
I'm sleeping very well. It's the writing that is the challenge. So I'm working on it.
Sierra Marquina
I offered to edit it today. He rejected.
Bill Simmons
Did you really? Yeah. Editing team.
Chris Ryan
Yeah. Vast fleet of very skilled men and women claw closely GPT all them. No, I would. No, I know. I would never do that.
Bill Simmons
Are you going to allow people to come in for a guest paragraph on physical media?
Chris Ryan
This is the second time that you've asked if you can come in for a guest paragraph.
Bill Simmons
Well, that's all I'm capable of is a paragraph.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah, you say that, but then you're going to be like, actually, I just
Bill Simmons
kind of let 5,000 words. Sierra, what are you up to? You still working?
Sierra Marquina
My real passion is my hobby, which is working with Andy Greenwald on the watch.
Bill Simmons
Sounds great. There's Something about Mary. A classic. And it's next. This episode is brought to you by Apple and at&t. Scroll long enough and you'll hear it all. Miracle diets, fitness trends, you name it. But with iPhone and Apple watch, you get meaningful insights from a very trusted source. Your body. You can track sleep, quality, cardio, fitness and more. Then unpack all the information in the health app on iPhone to get a picture of your overall health. These health insights are developed with clinical experts from start to finish. Find out more@apple.com. apple Watch is not a medical device and should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice. Alrighty. Hardest I've ever laughed in a movie theater. Mount Rushmore, Naked Gun. Okay, there's something about Mary the Hangover and Buffalo Bill and Silence of the Lambs. That's my top four. Three of them were comedies, including this one.
Sierra Marquina
Hereditary in the mix there at all or no Hereditary.
Chris Ryan
Got it.
Bill Simmons
No, those are my top four. But I saw this in the theater with my future wife and just raucous laughter. People just love this movie. How long Phenomenon.
Chris Ryan
How long had you guys been together when you saw this?
Bill Simmons
The first summer we were together. Oh, wow.
Sierra Marquina
One of the first movies you guys saw together.
Bill Simmons
Yeah, one of them.
Chris Ryan
Did you think of it like a test in any way? Like, if she likes this, we're good.
Bill Simmons
You know, I didn't think of that at the time, but I do feel like I was probably destined to be with somebody who would have laughed during a lot of this movie. Right. If you're sitting next to somebody who's like, oh, probably a bad sign. What about you, cr? Where did you see it?
Sierra Marquina
Still one of the most memorable theater going experiences of my life. I saw this one, I believe, in Boston. I think almost as soon as it came out. And it was like, it was like watching people go through a religious experience, falling into the aisles, people crying, sodas and popcorns flying in the air. And that kind of two track mind you have watching it where you're laughing at it and you're also like, I can't believe they're pulling this off. Or I can't believe they're going for this. So, yeah, just definitely burned into my memory.
Chris Ryan
I vividly remember seeing it for the first time. I saw it with 10 friends. It was in the summer of 98. I was 15, turning 16, and it was like going to church for a bunch of teenage boys. It was like the apotheosis of what was happening in comedies at this point and raucous laughter. I think as I look at the movie now, which I still think is so funny, I actually don't think it's really lost an inch of how much it makes me laugh. But I don't think I really understood what the movie was trying to accomplish at all. Like, I could only react to the set pieces. Like I wasn't thinking about the ideas, I wasn't even thinking about the weirdness of the characters. And so it's funny that it still has the power that it had when I was with 10 other dudes in a movie theater.
Sierra Marquina
It was a really weird rewatch because I was like, oh, I'm going in, and it's franken beans and its hair gel. And I was like, is Matt Dillon in this movie? One of the greatest comedic performances in cinema history coming out. I was like, this guy is throwing a perfect game in this movie.
Bill Simmons
Yeah, I remember Goldman wrote about this in a couple different ways, but he. He was obsessed with this movie, how, like, smartly constructed it was. He did the more adventure, the screen trade and did a whole thing about the zipper scene and just how brilliant it is. I think that's what it's been on a million times. I always get sucked in the structure of it, how smart it is, how well constructed it is from start to finish, how good the character's in. Like, we had the Dion Waiters award. It's probably 10 Dion waiters in this movie, and they're all coming in hot. And the movie just doesn't let up. And I don't think it peters off at all.
Chris Ryan
No.
Bill Simmons
The first hour is probably a little funnier, but I think it just rides. And then you have great performances, including Cameron Diaz, who became an A lister after this movie.
Sierra Marquina
The funniest thing about watching it this time was how gutsy it is for Stiller to basically do this movie and in the entire film is him reacting to stuff. It's like, it is the most straight man lead performance in a comedy that I can think of in a lot of ways, because it's so thankless. He's gonna basically get his balls caught in a zipper. He's gonna blow his load, and he's gonna get, like, run through the wringer this entire movie. And everybody else is gonna get.
Bill Simmons
Don't forget about rest stops, the bathhouses in the 90s.
Sierra Marquina
It's just gonna be, hey, wait your turn, dude. Jenkins in this movie. But it's just such a great lead performance because he's just like, I'm gonna let everybody else cook while I move through this movie.
Chris Ryan
But by the same token, you can feel him making a choice that's like, I found my movie star Persona. This is the movie that unlocks the similar kind of character he plays in, like, 10 consecutive studio comedies after this. So it's actually really smart on his part because before this, you know, he's in some interesting movies, and he's still trying to figure out he's balancing a lot of these, like, independent dramas. The same year as Permanent Midnight, same year as Less Than Zero.
Bill Simmons
Don't forget your friends And Neighbors, your Friends and Neighbors. Jason Patrick told him a long story about the guy in high school and
Chris Ryan
he's already directed Reality Bites and he's had the tv, but he. This isn't the guy from Meet the Parents, you know, this isn't the guy from Night at the Museum yet. So he's gonna.
Bill Simmons
I was gonna do this later, but we can do it now. He had not carried a movie yet. He was Ben Stiller show Reality Bites heavyweights if Lucy Fell, Flirting With Disaster. Directed the Cable Guy the year before he did episodes of Friends and Larry Sanders. He was the second lead of zero effect in 1998 with Bill Paulman and Ryan O'. Neill. I don't know if I. Sean owns it on 4K.
Chris Ryan
Really funny movie.
Sierra Marquina
Really funny.
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
Chris Ryan
It's like a detective comedy that's played very straight.
Bill Simmons
But I didn't think Ben Stiller could lead a movie. I didn't know what he was. And he goes from this 11 year run of There's Something About Mary, Meet the Parents, Zoolander, Royal Tandenbaums. Along came Paulie Starskin, Hutch, Anchorman, Dodgeball, Meet the Fockers, Heartbreak Kid, Tropic Thunder, just all in a row. And he becomes the biggest comedy star we have, which I think the odds in 1998 of like our next giant comedy star would be. Ben Stiller would have been 100 to 1.
Sierra Marquina
No, I never would have guessed it.
Chris Ryan
He was doing things outside of movie roles, though, like he was hosting the MTV Movie Awards and he was doing that. The famous. The. The Tom Cruise stunt double thing.
Bill Simmons
Yeah, he was. He was doing. He did have cool guy, cool comedy guy energy. Yeah, yeah.
Chris Ryan
He was making himself known.
Sierra Marquina
But I almost could have seen him having like a secondary, like Albert Brooks type career where it's like kind of a fringe character who directs his own stuff. But it's like a very niche kind of thing for. So for him to be this. This mainstream is pretty surprising.
Bill Simmons
Well, that's why your Friends and Neighbors is so interesting, because it almost seems like he's wondering if he should be a serious actor.
Chris Ryan
The Permanent Midnight too.
Bill Simmons
Very. Yeah. Both movies are very tough hangs.
Chris Ryan
Yeah, very serious. Like looking at like sexual perversion among couples looking at addiction. Like he. You can feel him trying to figure out, like, what's the right path for me.
Bill Simmons
Which ironically, Jon Stewart was a little like that too. He was. And he was one of the runners up for this movie. But he was also like, am I an actor? What am I? Stiller. I remember when he was on SNL for like the all time cup of coffee. I don't even think it was half a season, but did Eddie Munster and he did a Tom Cruise and people knew he was Stiller and Maris kid. I never saw the Ben Stiller show. I'm not gonna pretend. I was like, oh, yeah. I didn't even really remember that happening.
Sierra Marquina
That was on Fox right there.
Bill Simmons
Yeah, it was on Fox. It kind of came. And it wasn't until Reality Bites, which we talked about.
Chris Ryan
There's some funny stuff on that show, though. And it had, you know, Cross Nodenkirk and Janine Garofalo. It had a bunch of people who went on to be like.
Sierra Marquina
Did it have, like a crazy writing staff too?
Craig Robeck
Probably.
Chris Ryan
I think so, yeah.
Bill Simmons
Funniest movies of the 1990s. I'm going to give my list from seven to one.
Chris Ryan
Funniest movies of the 1990s. You're just going to give this away right now? Yeah, you should put this on Substack.
Bill Simmons
This is going to be the new running joke.
Chris Ryan
Just saying.
Sierra Marquina
Can't tell if you like it.
Bill Simmons
You'll have to read it on projections this Wednesday.
Sierra Marquina
And number one coming Thursday.
Bill Simmons
You know, like, actually, I'll give you a top eight because I bumped Dirty Work. Dirty Work. Eight. We've done that on Rewatchables.
Chris Ryan
Hell, yeah.
Bill Simmons
Groundhog Day. Seven. Happy Gilmore. Six. Wayne's World. Five. Austin Powers, two for. I think that was 1999. Dumb and Dumber. Tommy Boy. There's Something About Mary. That's what I have.
Chris Ryan
Sorry, Billy Madison was not on the list.
Bill Simmons
Was not. That's my top eight.
Chris Ryan
Shameful.
Bill Simmons
Doesn't mean that list shouldn't have had 20 movies. But I think Mary was one of the funniest. I think it was the funniest movie of the 90s, leading me to my next list. Funniest movie by decade.
Sierra Marquina
Oh. How far back did you go?
Bill Simmons
70s.
Sierra Marquina
Okay.
Chris Ryan
Okay.
Bill Simmons
They didn't know comedy in the 60s.
Chris Ryan
Funniest movie of the 1930s. Go.
Sierra Marquina
Is that bringing up baby in the 30s?
Chris Ryan
Sure. Yeah. 39. Got it. Nailed it.
Bill Simmons
Got it.
Chris Ryan
Is it 39? I don't even know. I think it is.
Bill Simmons
What do you have for the seventies? The funniest movie.
Sierra Marquina
The seventies.
Bill Simmons
Funniest movie. Slapshot. Interesting.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah. But here's my comedy tastes tend to go more towards character stuff than it is like Tommy Boy. Like, I think I would say Young
Chris Ryan
Frankenstein is probably my favorite.
Bill Simmons
All right. I had Animal House, 1980s Caddyshack, Naked Gun and Airplane were my three finalists. And I Need more time, but those were the three I had.
Chris Ryan
When will you be deciding?
Bill Simmons
Maybe like seven podcasts from now. I'll let people know where I land.
Chris Ryan
You should be doing a pod with Van and Joe and be like, just want you guys to know I've decided. I talked about this with Chris and Se.
Bill Simmons
I don't know if you knew, but three weeks ago, 90s Mary 2000s gets really hard with Anchorman, Superbad, and the Hangover, and I need more time to decide on that.
Chris Ryan
I think it's Anchorman too. The Hangover, which has many complexities in this day and age, did have a very similar feeling to this movie in theaters. In theaters, where it was like, this is a rock concert.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah. When he gets tased in the Hangover,
Bill Simmons
you're just in the face, not at the table. Carlos is still the funniest thing that's ever happened. And then 2000 and tens. I actually think it's bridesmaids.
Sierra Marquina
Is stepbrothers 2000 and tens?
Bill Simmons
No, that's 2000. Oh, that's so step brothers could be in the 2000s too. What's your 2000s movie, Craig?
Craig Robeck
My God, I have to pick one.
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
Chris Ryan
Now, quickly. Bill gets to wait seven weeks. You go now.
Sierra Marquina
Probably.
Craig Robeck
I mean, Anchorman, I think, has, like, the most quotes that I've taken with me throughout my life. And then maybe super bad in forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Bill Simmons
Oh, yeah.
Craig Robeck
It's impossible. Stepbrothers and Hangover is so good.
Bill Simmons
You almost need more time with it. I do think it's bridesmaids for the 10.
Sierra Marquina
He's anytime. That would be good.
Bill Simmons
Bridesmaids is so funny. Yes. Like, it's like, clearly the champ of that year. Anyway. I don't know if you had any quibbles.
Chris Ryan
Wasn't prepared for this query.
Sierra Marquina
Do we have a 20s?
Bill Simmons
Do we make comedies anymore? Do we have comedies anymore? What happened to comedies?
Chris Ryan
Yeah, we just. Well, Craig and I were just talking about one that's coming out in June called the Invite, which was pretty funny.
Bill Simmons
Yeah. Yeah.
Chris Ryan
Seth Rogen, Olivia Wilde, Edward Norton, and Penelope Cruise.
Craig Robeck
God, what is the funniest movie of the 2000s?
Bill Simmons
How sad is that? We can't even think off top of our heads.
Chris Ryan
There was just a big, biggish comedy, smallish comedy this year. What was the 2026 comedy? The one comedy.
Bill Simmons
Well, didn't. The Naked Gun remake came out?
Chris Ryan
That was in 2025. Yeah. Which you said you were 2020.
Sierra Marquina
Like a comedy this year that did well.
Chris Ryan
Yeah. Well, the drama's pretty funny.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah.
Bill Simmons
Is it? I haven't seen that.
Sierra Marquina
Not Step Brothers.
Chris Ryan
Different kind of cool festivals.
Bill Simmons
Thank you, guys.
Sierra Marquina
It's a movie that made $100 million. It's been out for like weeks.
Bill Simmons
You could have just got the drama. Yeah, it's the fucking basketball playoffs. I'm not going to the movie theater.
Sierra Marquina
It was out before the basketball playoffs. It was Pattinson and Zendaya. You're the consumer. You're the guy who's got four screens.
Bill Simmons
I'll see it when it's on a streamer.
Chris Ryan
Did you see Netflix's new film Oops I Pooped My Pants and Also Killed My Daughter's Boyfriend?
Bill Simmons
Does that exist?
Sierra Marquina
Have you gone public?
Bill Simmons
That's with great title. They should do that.
Sierra Marquina
But it's like new franchise. Have you talked publicly about how you watch things called like I'm my own Mother on Netflix? And you're like, you're sending texts.
Bill Simmons
I've never seen that one.
Sierra Marquina
As if you're like, you guys up on this yet? Like, me and Sean are sitting around.
Bill Simmons
I like to let you guys know what the common people. Watch out. Nobody dumps my daughter is something you guys need to know about. Yeah, it's always like, husband, father, killer.
Chris Ryan
I just stabbed a drifter with a tire iron. And also I found my mom.
Sierra Marquina
2032.
Bill Simmons
Nobody watchables, nobody dumps My Daughter is the best title of all time. Just wait till we do our rewatchables next year. This movie laid the ground for the 2000s R rated comedy boom. Yeah, really starting with American Pie and Road Trip, but then Old School really officially kicks it off. But I think this pulled the seal off. Comedies cannot be R rated because they won't make as much money. This movie made a shitload of money.
Chris Ryan
See, I. I thought of another movie that I chose for my double feature, but I feel like is in in concert with this, which was American Pie. I felt like American Pie came one year later and it was like those two summers.
Bill Simmons
But did American Pie. Part of the reason it pushed the envelope was because this movie pushed the envelope. And they were like, no, maybe he can fuck a pie.
Chris Ryan
Yeah, totally.
Bill Simmons
I think, I think it did help.
Chris Ryan
Yeah, I think that's right.
Sierra Marquina
The stories about the test screenings for this movie and how the Farrelly brothers were like completely open to the idea of like, maybe this will be too far and maybe this won't work. And then them showing it and Peter Chernin just being like, yeah, don't change a thing. I was disgusted, but don't change the thing.
Bill Simmons
Well, they filmed the two different versions of the hair gel, you know, that was the deal they made with Cameron Diaz. It will have this too. And if it doesn't work or however they did it, not knowing if people would be like, that's disgusting. I'm leaving. And it was the opposite. It was. And if you watch that scene when it cuts to her with the hair, like, not a lot's happening in the dialogue because they know how funny it is and know everybody's gonna be laughing. So it kind of doesn't even matter what it is.
Sierra Marquina
I have no idea what's said in that scene.
Bill Simmons
Cameron Diaz, who did the mask in 1994 out of modeling. It was like the first thing she ever did. 1996, she's the one. Which I consider the dream team too. A lot of people think it's the Olympic team that year we had. But no Shaq. No. It's actually burns gets Aniston McGlone.
Chris Ryan
Maxine Bonds. Aniston. Cameron Diaz.
Bill Simmons
And Leslie Mann.
Sierra Marquina
And Leslie Mann. Tom Petty on the soundtrack.
Chris Ryan
Tom Petty. Don't forget Amanda Pete.
Sierra Marquina
Amanda Pete.
Bill Simmons
That's my 1996 dream team. My Best Friend's Wedding.
Chris Ryan
Good film.
Sierra Marquina
She's fantastic in that too.
Bill Simmons
Really good.
Chris Ryan
Very fun.
Bill Simmons
And then Mary in 98 and she becomes a. A list star. Ends up in being John Malkovich. Any given Sunday, Charlie's Angels, Shrek, Vanilla sky, tough casting and gangs in New York. Maybe that's a redo.
Sierra Marquina
Sure.
Bill Simmons
And it just keeps going from there. And she also had high profile relationships. Sean with Matt Dillon, Jared Leto, Justin Timberlake and a rod.
Chris Ryan
Those are all a rod.
Bill Simmons
You know what I've learned? She doesn't have a type. She married Benji Madden. She just. Love is love for her. Doesn't matter who it is. She could have fallen for Craig. Could have been anybody. Matt Dillon, Jared Leto, Justin Timberlake. And a Rod.
Chris Ryan
That would be weird if she fell in love with 13 year old Craig in 1999. How old was he? Craig?
Craig Robeck
I was five.
Chris Ryan
Five. Okay.
Craig Robeck
It would have been really weird.
Sierra Marquina
Is she married now?
Bill Simmons
Benji Madden?
Chris Ryan
Yeah.
Sierra Marquina
Well, I mean, you know, you're not
Craig Robeck
checked up on her.
Chris Ryan
She's back, by the way.
Bill Simmons
She's back.
Chris Ryan
She retired from.
Sierra Marquina
She was in the Joni Hill movie. Right.
Craig Robeck
And won last year with Jamie Fox.
Chris Ryan
She was back in action. Was last year and this year was Outcome.
Bill Simmons
Where do you stand on Mary as the perfect girl? Because this movie does a lot of.
Sierra Marquina
I think it's the most interesting conversation that's probably come out of the couple of decades of Discourse about this movie is how knowing it is about the different ways you can read it. So you can read Mary as. I think there's a Dave Kerr line. The critic Dave Kerr, who said that she was like a fantasy of flawlessness and that everything Mary does is like the exact dream scenario for a guy.
Bill Simmons
Dave Kerr sounds like a fun hang.
Sierra Marquina
And then very good critic. But then you could also flip it and say that the funniest thing about this movie is how it's the guys who are doing all the acrobatics to like bend their Personas to what they think Mary wants from them. I don't know.
Chris Ryan
I mean, that's the ingenious idea of the movie, right? Is that she is supposed to represent this like ideal of male desire. Right. Where it's like she's into sports, she just wants to eat hot dogs. Yeah.
Sierra Marquina
She loves beer.
Chris Ryan
She golfs in her free time. You know what?
Bill Simmons
I really want to dive into this. Loves football.
Chris Ryan
Yeah.
Bill Simmons
85. She's in on the Niners early. Smells the dinners.
Sierra Marquina
Want to come upstairs and watch Sports Center?
Chris Ryan
She has tapes. One month draft stuff status.
Bill Simmons
She has a great golf swing. Yeah, that's really her. Apparently they had a golf standby stand in person.
Sierra Marquina
She over rotates, but yeah.
Bill Simmons
And you think so? Yeah. A CR with golf tips.
Sierra Marquina
Well, I've just. I've been in the like the YouTube minds with golf talk.
Chris Ryan
I mean, let's talk about.
Craig Robeck
I forgot.
Bill Simmons
Your true passion.
Sierra Marquina
I've been studying under the tutelage of a man named Mr. Tropicana.
Chris Ryan
Thank you.
Sierra Marquina
The hoot who taught me a lot about.
Chris Ryan
When you say studying, you mean just watching his videos like you don't know them?
Sierra Marquina
No, I don't go to Covina to like get his tips.
Bill Simmons
Great golf swing. Loves meat on a stick.
Chris Ryan
Yep, sure.
Bill Simmons
Really underrated cigarette smoker in this. I don't know if she De Niro'd it. Did you see that?
Sierra Marquina
Which is odd for an orthopedic surgeon.
Bill Simmons
Even at 98, she casually was like checking out people in the Copacabana. What bar was he in?
Sierra Marquina
I think so. Copa Gomez.
Bill Simmons
Yeah. Great person. Works with special needs adults, gives apples to homeless people.
Sierra Marquina
I think that guy just is a guy with a boat. Is he homeless?
Chris Ryan
He's not boatless.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah.
Bill Simmons
Was he hanging out?
Sierra Marquina
I thought he was like the dock master.
Bill Simmons
He's in the IMDb as homeless man. So I don't know whether maybe it was a miscalculation, but yeah, she's basically great. Hang on. Laughing at everything but the Idea that
Chris Ryan
all these guys have to lie about who they are and what they want to get her. Even though she is the on paper. If only, you know, my wife could be like this.
Bill Simmons
Right, right.
Chris Ryan
That's like the whole genius idea of the movie.
Bill Simmons
These guys are all losers who don't really deserve her and they have to come up with these elaborate stupid ways to get her. That that's I think the joke of the movie.
Sierra Marquina
Yes. And. But it's like, I think that there's like you could probably do the opposite read which is like this isn't a real person. So then does the character work? But I tend to believe the opposite. You know what?
Bill Simmons
In the summer of 1998, I was just thinking about the laughter.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah, I think we all were. I think we all were.
Chris Ryan
I definitely did not realize that this was a high level stalker comedy in 1998. I mean that is what the movie really is. It's about a bunch of guys that are stalking this woman.
Sierra Marquina
So like that's the funny. Other funny thing is that you could say that this is like an update of a Preston Sturgess plot. Like of like a real screwball comedy. Like you're never gonna what happens next kind of story. But I do think that all the guys are like basically should be in jail by the end of the movie. Including, including Ted.
Chris Ryan
I wrote down this is When Harry Met Sally for weirdos. I mean that's really what the premise and plot of the movie is.
Bill Simmons
Matt Dillon in an all time elite scumbag in this movie.
Chris Ryan
Phenomenal.
Bill Simmons
And was dating Cameron Diaz in real life. Career resurgence of in and out. Wild things. And there's something about Mary. We just did wild things. He as a kid actor. He was in three S.E. hinton movies. He was in My Bodyguard which was the first time I saw him. And women just love Matt Dillon.
Sierra Marquina
Drugstore cowboy, right over the edge.
Bill Simmons
It's kind of all over the place with his IMDb with a lot of twists and turns out he'd never really done a comedy like this before. He was the original choice for Butch and Pulp Fiction which we talked about when we did the Pulp Fiction that I think would have been a huge. An important thing for him.
Chris Ryan
Yeah, I think he would have been good in that part too.
Bill Simmons
I also, I don't know why he wasn't an entourage as their older brother. Why he couldn't have come in and done a three episode arc. Yo bro, I can't believe you're here.
Chris Ryan
Can think of a few reasons why Dylan.
Sierra Marquina
Or would he be Playing.
Bill Simmons
I think he's playing Drama's older brother. They are like their half brother, Steve
Chris Ryan
Drama or Steve Drama.
Bill Simmons
Stevie Draba. Weird career in the sense that it feels like there should have been a TV pivot to some sort of prestige show in 2014. That never really happened. And I don't really know what he's been doing the last 15 years, but everybody likes Matt Dylan. He never did his version of that Kevin Bacon show on Showtime.
Chris Ryan
Or eight, nine years ago, he did a Lars Von Trier movie called the House that Jack.
Bill Simmons
Five episodes.
Chris Ryan
It was a movie. It's like a movie about a serial killer. It's a crazy movie.
Bill Simmons
Oh, I thought it was a split. I never saw it.
Chris Ryan
No, no.
Sierra Marquina
He did an Apple show with. With Patricia Arquette that was kind of like a crime show, like a noir.
Bill Simmons
Was it a show where somebody dies in the beginning?
Sierra Marquina
And I think it's called High Desert.
Chris Ryan
Did they solve it?
Sierra Marquina
Well, I think they only did a season of it. I remember watching We'll Never know.
Bill Simmons
Craig, have you seen that Apple show when somebody dies in the beginning?
Craig Robeck
I think so. Yeah, I saw that one.
Bill Simmons
We don't know who did it, but then each episode ends and then could have been that person.
Craig Robeck
And then there's another season. It's a whole new cast, but there's also a murder at the beginning of that season.
Sierra Marquina
Spiritually under the same umbrella.
Craig Robeck
It's like the same theme song, but a little different every time.
Bill Simmons
And every actor peaked, like, six years ago, but their agent definitely told them it was gonna be a great idea.
Craig Robeck
Yeah, I like that show.
Sierra Marquina
Matt Dillon feels like he. He's primed for a white lotus appearance.
Bill Simmons
That's the thing. I feel like if Matt Dillon gets dropped into any sort of cool. If he'd been in Beef Anything people, the reaction would have been, hey, Matt Dillon. Sure, I love Matt Dillon, but he's always kind of existed in that world where people like him. I don't know. I feel like he's two movies short. Sean.
Chris Ryan
I know what you mean.
Bill Simmons
You know, it's a little like Mikhail Bridges on the Knicks right now.
Chris Ryan
All right, all right. Just settle down, please. It's only six years later that he's in Crash, which is a joke now, but at the time won best picture. And he's the handsy police officer.
Bill Simmons
And he's good in Crash. Whether you like that movie or not, he's good in it.
Chris Ryan
Not a great character.
Bill Simmons
Not a good character, but he's the performance.
Chris Ryan
He gives a good performance. But then after that, here are the movies he makes after Crash. Loverboy. You seen that?
Bill Simmons
Not the Kirstie Alley one.
Chris Ryan
No. Factotum.
Sierra Marquina
Never heard of that.
Chris Ryan
Which is a Bukowski adaptation. Herbie, Fully Loaded, Yume and Dupree.
Sierra Marquina
Oh, yeah.
Bill Simmons
You, me, and Dupree.
Chris Ryan
Nothing but the Truth. The Kate Beckinsale political drama Old Dogs with Robin Williams and John Travolta.
Bill Simmons
I don't know Old Dogs.
Sierra Marquina
Isn't that the motorcycle movie?
Chris Ryan
No, no, that's Wild Hogs.
Bill Simmons
Oh, come on, Chris.
Chris Ryan
Old Dogs is about.
Bill Simmons
It's Wild Hogs.
Chris Ryan
Yeah, Wild Hogs and Old Dogs is a killer double, though. Takers? You seen Takers?
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
Chris Ryan
Thriller with Paul Walker.
Bill Simmons
Couldn't he have been prisoners instead of.
Chris Ryan
I mean, this Jack. This is a rough 10 years.
Sierra Marquina
Is he in, like, 187 or what? What is the, like, the thriller he's in? It's like Anthony Mackie one that's pretty
Bill Simmons
good where he plays, but the wheels have come off.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah, and he plays like, an armored truck. Security guard.
Chris Ryan
Yeah, that's called Armored.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah.
Chris Ryan
He plays Mike Cochran opposite Laurence Fishburne, Jean Renault, Milo Ventimiglia, Skeet Ulrich and Columbus Short.
Bill Simmons
Oh, okay. This is like when I texted you guys a couple days ago with Mark Wahlberg's IMDb in the 2020s, and it's like, when did Mark Wahlberg just give up? It's seven straight years of just. Ugh.
Chris Ryan
Yep.
Sierra Marquina
It's just.
Bill Simmons
Oh, and I thought. I didn't realize it was over, but apparently it was. Sometimes, I guess that happens.
Sierra Marquina
I think it's. I think for. Do you want to have the Mark Wahlberg conversation or the Matt Dillon conversation?
Bill Simmons
Oh, either.
Sierra Marquina
Okay. The Mark Wahlberg thing. I think he used to work routinely with really interesting and challenging directors and now no longer does, for the most part.
Chris Ryan
You know, Matt Dillon was in Asteroid City, the Wes Anderson movie. You didn't see that?
Bill Simmons
There's more there, right?
Chris Ryan
He's a mechanic.
Sierra Marquina
He's the mechanic.
Bill Simmons
He's phenomenal in this part. It's really, really funny. I can't even think of anybody else who would have been good in this in the same way.
Chris Ryan
So he's, like, always likable and interesting, and I think he's a good leading man and all those teen movies in the 80s. But do you think that because he was dating Cameron Diaz, he felt, like, more free? He's never been this funny. What explains Deuce, Deuce and a Half? His facility with the jokes is so
Sierra Marquina
good, they're twining their image.
Chris Ryan
This better work for Rice.
Sierra Marquina
A Roni I think it's always fun when an actor is known for dramatic parts, does a comedy and is in the comedy, treating the part as seriously as he would any drama. But he, Matt Dillon knows how fucking funny this is. But he's like Pat Healy, private eye who falls in love with his own subject. I'm. I'm like 110% committed to it.
Bill Simmons
And even when he's mugging, it's funny.
Sierra Marquina
But his willingness to do it, to put on the veneers and to wear the stupid shirts is just unreal.
Bill Simmons
Or when Tucker's telling Mary all the fake stuff about him, like he killed the guy and he's just in the car like, like, just, like he just knows the jig is up. Yeah, he's really great in this.
Sierra Marquina
Do you feel like this movie, like when you, when you were like, let's do some. There's something about Mary, I was like, absolutely. Like, this is such a singular experience, watching this thing. Do you feel like its second life has been more muted than you would have thought in when you first saw it?
Chris Ryan
I had a follow up related question to this. If you had to guess what number in terms of popularity is this movie for Cameron Diaz on letterboxd.
Bill Simmons
Interesting, because you could make the case
Chris Ryan
this is her biggest and most important movie.
Bill Simmons
I would have said the holidays first
Chris Ryan
holiday is ahead of it.
Sierra Marquina
Malovich is ahead of it.
Bill Simmons
Probably Charlie's Angels is probably ahead of it because people are dopes. That movie's awful. What else? How far is it? How far down is it?
Chris Ryan
14.
Sierra Marquina
That's wild.
Craig Robeck
How is it measured people's star rating
Chris Ryan
popularity on this app?
Craig Robeck
It's just how many people have starred the movie?
Chris Ryan
Yeah, I think who like it, the ratings, all those things are taken into consideration. But it is, you know, you've got some weird outliers or you've got like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. She's in like one scene in that movie. But like Gangs of New York is ahead of it. The Mask is ahead of it. All the Shrek movies are ahead of it. Vanilla sky is ahead of it. My Best Friend's Wedding is ahead of it. In 1998, we were like, not only is she the new Julia Roberts, she's like the new Audrey Hepburn. She's like, this is a person who's on the collision course of megastardom.
Sierra Marquina
And from 1998, this movie is standing on its own two feet against Titanic, Private Ryan and Armageddon. Titanic, Private Ryan and Armageddon have gone on to all be rewatchables I believe, all be rewatched by people, like, routinely, all the time. And this, I feel like when you mentioned it to me, I was like, oh, yeah. Like. But I haven't watched this movie in forever for some reason.
Bill Simmons
I think part of the problem with it, other than there's probably some stuff that people feel like hasn't aged well. It's like big set pieces that people feel like they don't need to see it because they know what the set pieces are where it's like, oh, yeah, there's gonna be the two scenes with the dog, and there's gonna be the one. The hair gel scene, and there's going to, you know, the zipper scene. And I've seen that, but I don't think it gets enough credit for how smart the script is and how good the actors are in. Also feels like it belongs to a different generation.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah.
Bill Simmons
Because I was looking at the 98 movies that were comedies. There's something about Mary Big Lebowski, Waterboy, Rush Hour, Wedding Singer, Night at the Roxbury, Half Baked, Dirty Work and Basketball just feels very 90s, you know?
Chris Ryan
And then Lebowski has endured, you know, like, some. Sometimes movies have been.
Bill Simmons
Yeah, I don't know why this one didn't endure. Look at the Coens.
Sierra Marquina
Oh, I thought you were.
Bill Simmons
It became. It was a cult movie that, you know, I think grew some legs as the years passed and has a bunch of fun people in it.
Chris Ryan
I had the same thought, though, while watching it, where it's like, it has kind of turned into a little bit of an artifact, which is an interesting. For me, it's probably one of the first examples of a movie that, when it happened, I was very aware of it. I was consuming a lot of media around it, a lot of reviews of it, magazine stories about it, and I felt like, well, this is just an absolute neutron bomb for a teenage boy. Like, this is a huge thing. And now. And I think some of it is what you're describing, but the thing about the stuff that is insensitive or hasn't aged well or whatever is the only people who are doing that stuff are the people who were meant to believe are buffoons in the movie. Like, the movie is relatively sensitive to some of the ideas that it's portraying for the people who are impacted by it and understand it are in that world. The family, for example. It's all the guys who are made to be the butt of the joke throughout the movie who are the ones who are insensitive. So, like, that can't be the only reason, right, why it's come down a little bit.
Sierra Marquina
I was also wondering, like, you know, it's such a sincere movie in so many ways. Like the soundtrack, the colors of the movie. It feels. Feels very pop. It feels very kind of weirdly optimistic. When you're watching it, you kind of have a mild grin on, even when it isn't one of the big set pieces. And for better or for worse, so much comedy has gravitated towards, especially on screen comedy. Not only is it on tv, but it's like Nathan Fielder and Tim Robinson and this kind of like, if you're going to do something that's got an incredibly extreme sight gag, it has to be like really weird. You know, like there can't just be like, this is really funny that this guy thought like masturbating before a date was a good idea, but it would
Bill Simmons
be like flogging the dolphins.
Sierra Marquina
Then he gets caught by like a local newspaper. If it was Tim Robinson, just even
Chris Ryan
Tucker, like wobbling back and forth. That stuff is just like, that's like Three Stooges, you know, it's just pure sight gag comedy.
Bill Simmons
Farrelly Brothers did Dumb and Dumber, Kingpin, and there's Something about Mary in a Row, basically.
Sierra Marquina
But this is the third one they had to save themselves after Kingpin for the first time.
Bill Simmons
Yeah, Kingpin Bombs, which I had forgotten.
Chris Ryan
Just an all time classic. I popped it in immediately after watching There's Something about Mary. I love that movie so much.
Bill Simmons
That was Ed Dector and John Strauss. Friends of the Farrellys wrote the script, Fairleighs bought it, ran with it, and they wanted to do something more for adults, Animal House style. And they knew this was their last chance. Basically. This doesn't work. It's not going to happen. We'll take a break and then we'll talk about a couple other things, including the Oscars for that year. This episode is brought to you by McDonald's right now at McDonald's, you can get great deals all day with McValue. That's right. Jumpstart your day with the under $3 menu featuring a sausage McMuffin for just $1.50. Or grab the perfect lunch with the McDouble for just 250. Honestly, nothing pairs with a movie marathon like a McDouble in hand. Gotta love the McDoubles. Get even more value with McValue. Only at McDonald's. Limited time only. Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher for delivery. This episode is brought to you by Apple and at&t. Scroll long enough and you'll hear it all. Miracle diets, fitness trends, you name it. But with iPhone and Apple Watch, you get meaningful insights from a very trusted source your body. You can track sleep quality, cardio fitness and more. Then unpack all the information in the health app on iPhone to get a picture of your overall health. These health insights are developed with clinical experts from start to finish. Find out more@apple.com health Apple Watch is not a medical device and should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice. So Goldman was adamant that this movie should have been nominated for best picture and that Cameron Diaz should have been nominated for best actress. I'll give you the best picture that year. Shakespeare in Love. Elizabeth, Life is Beautiful, Saving Private, Orion and the Thin Red Line. Who you bumping, Sean?
Chris Ryan
Easy. Life is Beautiful. Get it out.
Bill Simmons
Yeah, people at the time that also got nominated for directed our director, he won for best actor, best actress in a leading role. Gwyneth Paltrowans for Shakespeare in Love. Cate Blanchett, Elizabeth. Fernanda Montenegro for Central Station.
Sierra Marquina
Way to go.
Bill Simmons
What are your thoughts on that one?
Chris Ryan
It's a Brazilian cinema classic. In fact, her daughter, Fernanda Torres was nominated two years ago for best actress.
Bill Simmons
Streep One True Thing. Kind of like when Kobe would make the all defense near the end of his career.
Sierra Marquina
I gotta be honest.
Bill Simmons
Automatic nomination.
Sierra Marquina
It's the first time hearing of One true Thing.
Bill Simmons
Yeah, I don't even remember.
Chris Ryan
Listen to our Meryl Streep hall of fame then.
Sierra Marquina
I'm sorry.
Bill Simmons
Oh, sorry.
Chris Ryan
Just outed himself.
Bill Simmons
Sorry. It's basketball player.
Craig Robeck
Yeah.
Chris Ryan
What is one shirt grinding tape.
Sierra Marquina
He missed the drama. I missed the Meryl Streep.
Chris Ryan
That's the one with William Hurt. Right, where she gets cancer. Meryl Streep's character gets cancer and Renee Zellweger has to come home to help take care of them. Renee Zellweger, I think plays a magazine writer.
Bill Simmons
I know.
Chris Ryan
Very sincere drama. Yeah.
Sierra Marquina
Pretty gets nominated for that.
Bill Simmons
Emily Watson and Hillary and Jackie. But as we've discussed many times on the rewatchables, comedy performances and comedies in general do not get treated with any sort of reverence from the Academy.
Sierra Marquina
Although I think it's a little harder to get Dylan into supporting actor because it's Coburn Duvall for a Civil Action. Ed Harris Truman Show. Geoffrey Rush, Shakespeare in Love. And he is pretty amazing in that. And Billy Bob Thornton for a Simple Plan. So it's hard to know who you would kick out, but that's who I would. Of the actors that I feel most passionately about would be Dylan for supporting Actor.
Chris Ryan
I would have had Simple Plan and Truman show in my best Picture race that year, too.
Bill Simmons
Well, if they had the nine films, I wonder if those two get added with their Something about Mary. So anyway, nothing happens. They don't get nominated for screenplay either. $23 million budget made 370.
Chris Ryan
Crazy.
Bill Simmons
4th biggest movie in 98. Roger Ebert 3 stars. What's a blessed relief is laughter. It flies in the face of manners, values, political correctness and decorum. It exposes us for what we are. The only animal with a sense of humor.
Sierra Marquina
We don't know that for sure.
Bill Simmons
I don't know. I'm cooking. Could have added a half star. William Goldman wrote my choice for Best Picture. Was there Something about Mary? I would have given it best Actress and best Screenplay as well. The Academy has always ignored two of the hardest genres to create, comedies and adventure flicks. He just loved this movie. Anyway. Categories. Most rewatchable scene piggyback ride into. He's only 230. Huh? He's just like his back's destroyed by Warren.
Chris Ryan
Just the noise of his back cracking when Warren jumps on it is weird.
Bill Simmons
Well, I don't know when we want to talk about Warren, but W. Earl Brown, I think Warren's incredible in this movie. I think it depends on what maybe some of your background is with the special needs community. We've had. My wife has that in her family. Her Uncle David, My dad worked with special needs people for 15, 20 years. I love the way it approaches the whole concept in this. Like you're always on Warren's side. I feel like they're not making fun of him anyway. Like, he's just a comedy machine. But then as the years pass, it became. The Farrellies have even talked about, like,
Sierra Marquina
I think it's just the issue of casting somebody.
Bill Simmons
Yeah. Outside of that, the Farrelly is basically in the 2010s. They're like, look, we tried a million people. This was the best performance. It was a key part. By the 2000 and 20s, they were like, yeah, we blew this.
Chris Ryan
Yeah.
Bill Simmons
And I get it.
Chris Ryan
It's a complicated thing because that was not how people were thinking about it at the time, that that's who should be cast in these parts. And that's changed pretty dramatically in Hollywood. So it's really hard to come down on it. But like I said, still, one thing I like about the movie is like, the movie's not making fun of Warren. You could misconstrue it, though, if you were A teenager. I will say that it was pretty easy for. For people that I knew to misunderstand
Sierra Marquina
what they were trying to do. Also have, like, special needs family members, what have you, who were upset by that. But it's just, like, interesting. But it's just. It depends on your personal experience and your taste level and your. I think also, like, it's a very different experience watching this movie in a theater. And 350 people are clearly laughing at Warren. And you're like, that's fucked up. Versus, like, watching it at home and being like, I see what they're doing here and how they're kind of. They're not. They're not. They're celebrating this guy. They're not, like, making fun of him.
Bill Simmons
Yeah. And the fairlies, who have done this in a lot of their movies about all types of people in them and all different types of handicap people. He's actually the key to the movie
Sierra Marquina
because he's the trustee. He's the barometer of him trusting Ted
Bill Simmons
is the most important thing that happens.
Chris Ryan
Who's good for Mary.
Bill Simmons
Yeah. And they built. They build it up. Anyway. The prom invite's really adorable, too, in that first scene. All right. Ted shows up to take Mary to the prom. This is just an unbelievable seven minutes, five minutes, whatever it is.
Sierra Marquina
This was my most fun part about rewatching it is I had forgotten Keith David and Markie Post.
Bill Simmons
Just crushing it.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah.
Chris Ryan
Keith David.
Bill Simmons
The wedding photo.
Chris Ryan
Flawless. Flawless in the scene. It immediately got my energy up just watching him fucking with Ben Stiller.
Bill Simmons
The wedding photo of them from the 70s is funny.
Chris Ryan
Which was clearly taken, like, one minute before they started shooting.
Bill Simmons
Yeah. When Mary comes down the stairs and Keith David goes, ah, shit, look at that. And then Warren attacking Ted is so fucking funny. Him going to the bathroom. She's a dental hygienist. She'll know exactly what to do. And her answer is to get back teenage.
Chris Ryan
And then when she sprays the Bactine.
Sierra Marquina
I don't know what the technical name is when you're doing comedy to just, like, keep adding layers and layers on top of the same punchline where, like. And then the fireman and then the cop.
Craig Robeck
It becomes like Naked Gun for a second. Like the cops climbing in through the window. And the fire department shows up. It's so good.
Bill Simmons
And Warren's throwing 110 because he hears the franks and beans. He starts yelling, franks and beans. Though he was masturbating. It's hilarious. Lenny Clark pops in out of nowhere. This is just an. A comedy.
Sierra Marquina
Sure.
Bill Simmons
I just have no notes. Every part is great. And even when you see the zipper for a split second, they don't stay in it too long. It's like, oh. Ow.
Sierra Marquina
Also, just the decision to have every actor just be playing their teenage self. You know what I mean? Like, not having kids play the parts anyway. And having Stiller as a teenager makes his character so funny immediately.
Chris Ryan
Yeah. I think Keith Davis, especially wanting to get in there and take a good look at it, I think he puts
Sierra Marquina
his glasses on, which cracks me up.
Bill Simmons
It's just a perfect comedy scene. And then it goes right into the therapy appointment with our guy, Richard Jenkins.
Sierra Marquina
This is like a dark horse for me, but Jenkins is unbelievable.
Chris Ryan
Look at the food in his mouth,
Sierra Marquina
creeping in the back.
Bill Simmons
He doesn't have anywhere to wipe his hands.
Sierra Marquina
Rest areas are homosexual acts. Highway rest areas are the bathhouses of the 90s.
Bill Simmons
Bathhouse of the 90s. One of the funniest ideas of any
Sierra Marquina
comedy for many, many, many, many gay
Chris Ryan
men is the insinuation when he's like, we'll talk about this more next week, isn't it, that he wants to talk about it?
Sierra Marquina
Yeah, we'll delve into that next week.
Bill Simmons
This is his only scene, right? Yeah, yeah.
Sierra Marquina
It's like, uncredited. I think he lived in the area, and they were just like, do you want to.
Chris Ryan
There's a funny cutaway to him in the montage at the end, too, where he's rubbing Stiller's back from behind. That is also very funny to this joke.
Bill Simmons
Jenkins, underrated comedy actor.
Chris Ryan
Speaking of stepbrothers. Right.
Bill Simmons
The therapy appointment with Jenkins. And then the next one is Healy lies to Ted about Mary after he comes back from Miami. She's about a deuce, deuce and a half. Ted, don't you want the name of the housing project? Just that two minutes is really great.
Chris Ryan
My favorite part of I'd say about a deuce, deuce and a half is when he's like, not bad.
Bill Simmons
Healy ropes Marion at the golf course. Every part of this is. Is my real passion, is my hobby. He says, the I work with retards. And she goes, isn't that a little politically incorrect? Well, to hell with the hat. No one's going to tell me who I can and can't work with, Right? We got this one kid, Mongo. That scene is out of control.
Chris Ryan
I love those goofy bastards a leash.
Craig Robeck
Plenty of room to dig.
Bill Simmons
Yeah, that kid is really blossomed. I don't know how they did that scene. That scene's unbelievable. The crazy dog scene when Puffer passes out.
Sierra Marquina
Passes out, he dies. He fucking brings it back to life. That's also got Healy telling them in Nepal. The villagers there called me Kintan ti, which means noble man who is loved by many animal, who in kind he loveth too.
Bill Simmons
The hitchhiker scene, where do you stand on that one? Cr. 7 minute abs.
Chris Ryan
11 out of 10 people don't know about Harlan Williams.
Bill Simmons
Yeah. Do you know about Harlan Williams, Craig?
Craig Robeck
Yes. Because the movie where he's the astronaut was one of my favorite movies as a kid. What's the name of that movie?
Chris Ryan
Space. Is it Spaceman? It's Space Man.
Craig Robeck
I love that movie.
Chris Ryan
It was really funny.
Craig Robeck
Yes.
Sierra Marquina
Seven in my office, cuz. You're fucking fire.
Chris Ryan
Seven's the key number here. Think about it. Seven, eleven. Seven dwarves. Seven, man. That's the number. Seven chipmunks twirling on a branch, eating lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from
Craig Robeck
the sea, Rocket Man.
Sierra Marquina
By the way, like you're dreaming about Gorgonzole cheese.
Chris Ryan
It's free time, baby.
Bill Simmons
He comes in hot DM waiters is going to be impossible. The. The Joe Jackson scene with the flag football, spikes the ball. Exceptional bias. He cheats and checkers. And then he goes right, gets his teeth cap because he overheard her talking about big white teeth. Chris Elliott goes to see Ted is the next one. You choke the chicken before any big date, don't you tell me you spanked the monkey before any big date.
Sierra Marquina
You got baby batter on the brain.
Bill Simmons
You're going out there with a loaded gun. I do love the most honest moments in a man's life is the few minutes after he's blown and slowed. It's a medical fact. Says that we get the hair gel scene. The cut is great to the hair. We get Puffy and Magda going bonkers
Sierra Marquina
on speed and then Puffy attacking Ted.
Bill Simmons
I like when he throws the fourth one. He's like, you're gonna kill him. Don't throw another one. And he looks at him and just whips another one out. We get the big confrontation when all the stalkers are all together. And then the closing credits Are really good at this movie.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah.
Bill Simmons
I like how much foresight they put into just filming on location as they were finishing scenes and then forcing everybody to do Buttercup. All right, Sierra, what do you got? Most rewatchable scene.
Sierra Marquina
Man, I'm so tempted to go to go with Richard Jenkins, but I think the Healy meeting Mary, for me, honestly, the guff.
Bill Simmons
Yeah, that's from me as well.
Sierra Marquina
Me too.
Chris Ryan
It's the funniest stuff.
Sierra Marquina
And he's like, how do you know my name? It's written on your golf bag.
Bill Simmons
Yeah. And she's so likable in it too, where it's like, it's actually believable that she might fall for this.
Sierra Marquina
Well, it's also like he's trying to do the like the game, like. Like, I'm going to neg you a little bit. And like kind of act a little aloof to see if that works. But just that their chemistry is very palpable. And outside of the major set pieces, that's my.
Bill Simmons
You know what else is impressive about that whole scene? The first driving range shot he takes off the wall, he goes. And it goes off his bag. Like kind of hard to do. I don't even know how they did that.
Sierra Marquina
Matt Dillon's dad was a golf pro.
Bill Simmons
Yeah. So he must have intentionally dead. What do you have?
Chris Ryan
That's my favorite scene. I will say anytime Ted and Pat are talking to each other is incredible. But specifically when he's updating him. The Deuce, Deuce and a half scene. There's a moment near the end of it where he gets handed a Budweiser when they're sitting outside and he goes, excuse me, I ordered a whiskey sour.
Sierra Marquina
And the waiter walks away.
Chris Ryan
He's like, yeah, whatever.
Sierra Marquina
There's also. That killed me this time when Ted goes to see Pat to tell him, like, actually he does want to get in touch with her, but Pat's in the middle of quitting.
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
Sierra Marquina
And he's just. That's the whole like, I'm going to Miami. I got a job with Rice. Isn't that San Francisco Trees, like while they're changing their images, think about, wait, it was like it was the sumo thing. It's like she's a male order bride.
Bill Simmons
What do you have for most rewatchable scenes?
Craig Robeck
It's probably the golf scene or I do think any scene in Mary's apartment is really good. The dog stuff. The first time I saw this movie, the dog stuff slayed me. It's like a 13 year old. Just the physical comedy of that of like pile driving.
Chris Ryan
Yeah. When he. When he puts the dog in the side headlock and then drops him down. That's pure gut busting.
Bill Simmons
Great prop. The dog prop is really good.
Chris Ryan
It really. The dog going out the window.
Sierra Marquina
Go away from the light.
Chris Ryan
Yeah.
Sierra Marquina
Him shocking the dog.
Bill Simmons
He also asked for a butt cake. When they ask him if he wants anything.
Sierra Marquina
Do you Want a Heineken or a Budweiser?
Bill Simmons
What's the most 1998 thing about this movie? I have some runners up being excited about giving somebody a Tony Coniglar. A signed baseball.
Sierra Marquina
Sure.
Chris Ryan
Good one.
Bill Simmons
That had a shelf life of about maybe 2003. Brett Favre.
Sierra Marquina
Cool. Brett Favre.
Bill Simmons
Brett Favre being a goody two shoes. Yeah. Cool. Brett Favre. Any part of Brett Favre.
Chris Ryan
Yep. Got it.
Bill Simmons
Magda. Smoking cools. A whole carton of Cools. I don't even know if that happened.
Sierra Marquina
I think cools are still around.
Bill Simmons
I have a winner, but what'd you have?
Sierra Marquina
I had just like, watching sports highlights at the end of the night being something that you build towards in your life. It's like, let's go home and watch game highlights.
Chris Ryan
Picking up hitchhiker.
Sierra Marquina
Sure.
Bill Simmons
That's a good one.
Chris Ryan
I mean, there's a tremendous amount of gay panic jokes in this movie. Like. Like a hundred of them.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah.
Chris Ryan
You would never find that in 2020 movie.
Bill Simmons
Well, our winner is Cops, the TV show. Being prominently involved in a scene. Yeah.
Sierra Marquina
That's not the only thing that's happening in that scene.
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
Chris Ryan
Woogie getting his knob polished while watching Cops is elite.
Sierra Marquina
Completely uncommented on. It's also the last moment the wife is in the movie.
Bill Simmons
Well, the wife. Only she's like the ideal, crazy, perfect wife. But he still make cookies. Yeah, yeah. Wood stage. The best.
Chris Ryan
Can I say one more thing?
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
Chris Ryan
The way that bad taste is played for laughs instead of, like, dramatic thrills is something really interesting to me about this movie. Like, bad taste is a skill and you can display it in a clever way. The Farrellys always do that. But like, now bad taste to the point about the drama. Or like Eddington, like, then, like, those taboos are things now that people play for. Like, ooh. Like, is it okay to be talking about this? Whereas.
Bill Simmons
Oh, yeah.
Chris Ryan
And there's something about Mary. It's just pure comedy.
Bill Simmons
Yeah. They're just going for it.
Chris Ryan
It.
Bill Simmons
What stage? The best rest areas being the bath houses of the 90s. That joke is just as funny as it was in 1998. I don't know how you even come up with that into that. Also from a. What stage? The best standpoint, just stopping at a rest area. You got like 10 years out of mileage of. Yeah, yeah. Rest area. Go up there. The musicians popping in. Which we did not mention yet. Jonathan Richmond.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah.
Bill Simmons
I can't believe this worked, but I really think it worked.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah.
Bill Simmons
Thought it was a really funny distinct
Chris Ryan
part of the movie, it's such an unlikely choice. Obviously a New Englander. Right. So the Farrelly is very New England filmmakers and. But I can't, for whatever reason picture Peter Farrelly rocking.
Sierra Marquina
This is just like an amazing like Jonathan Richmond commitment to a bit. Because if that doesn't work, you're like, what the fuck? But like that kind of speaks to one of the things I have for what's aged the best is the regional specificity of it. The Rhode Island, Boston.
Bill Simmons
Yeah, he's got a Providence Bruins poster.
Chris Ryan
Yeah.
Sierra Marquina
And the Miami stuff is just like they find a lot of humor in those places. And I think one thing that's really been lost in more modern movies is like, you know, the drama is set in Boston, but it might as well be set in Copenhagen. Like it doesn't really feel like Boston.
Bill Simmons
It's a great point. We've talked about this with other movies. Like we were just better in the 80s and 90s going into locations.
Sierra Marquina
Well, I feel like they just shoot in a couple of places in the country and then they're like, yeah, this will stand in for this. Or it'll just be any city and you can get a lot of jokes. I mean just having Lenny Clark in this movie, you know, is like a very knowing wink to the New England.
Bill Simmons
And Steve Sweeney, don't forget about him. You have any what stage the best? Because I had a couple more.
Chris Ryan
I just think most comedies age really badly and this one, I think it's still really, really funny. It actually makes me laugh out loud.
Bill Simmons
So I have a few because this is a big movie for me and my wife Magda jokes about anyone you know in your life who got way too much sun, like, ugh. Veering a little toward the Magda side. Magda's just become a 28 year over suntan joke. Markie Post. I'm just so glad she's in this movie. Just an absolute 80s icon and a legend and was trying to think her. Her NBA example like kind of like the Dominique Wilkins of the 80s didn't get her just do because everyone's talking about that Heather Thomas, Heather Locklear, some of the other greats.
Chris Ryan
A little bit. Yeah.
Sierra Marquina
I don't know.
Bill Simmons
Markipo, everyone loved Marky Post. Yeah.
Chris Ryan
But Dominic, what's on the resume for Marky Post?
Sierra Marquina
Night Court.
Bill Simmons
Night Court.
Chris Ryan
Right. Night Court.
Bill Simmons
Like that's some killer posters. Yeah. Couple good TV movies.
Chris Ryan
She win any dunk contests? Where is she on the all time scoring list?
Sierra Marquina
She would go she head to head with Larry Bird.
Bill Simmons
So maybe she's more like a Terence Stansberry. I don't know.
Chris Ryan
That's nice. Yeah, that's good.
Sierra Marquina
I was like that.
Chris Ryan
Don't get me wrong, I think she's great.
Bill Simmons
She had an unbelievable Cheers episode when she came in as Diane Chambers, best friend from college, and hit on Sam Malone. And it might be the single best Cheers episode. And Diane finally flips out. Cause they're flirting with each other the whole episode.
Sierra Marquina
She apparently was like pretty scandalized by this movie and was like really nervous to do it, but then was very happy she did.
Bill Simmons
Yeah. I'm glad she's in it.
Chris Ryan
She's one of the only people that really, really, truly pulled off 80s hair. Because she had some real 80s hair.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah, for sure.
Chris Ryan
And it were.
Bill Simmons
You have to have basically the same haircut as Patrick Swayze and Youngblood.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah.
Bill Simmons
Flogging the dolphin for a big date.
Chris Ryan
That's aged well.
Bill Simmons
That's just a running joke now. Flogged it off.
Sierra Marquina
Say that to Ben.
Chris Ryan
Go down.
Bill Simmons
Pat Healy teeth. Another running joke. Whoa. Some big choppers.
Chris Ryan
They're more common than ever.
Bill Simmons
The, the lie that becomes a way bigger cover up lie I think has aged the best for me. But we grew up with this with 70s sitcoms and now I don't feel like we do it anymore. This was like the staple of half of the comedy for 20 years.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah. I also, I feel like in my life after this movie came out, like if a guy ever came home and was just like, but you know, she lives with her sister or something like that, people would be like, first chick in the armor, dad.
Bill Simmons
Right. What about Brett Favreau when Stiller says that at the end? The Brett Favre thing, I think kind of came with him for five, six years. Then people forgot. I like that they have young Cameron Diaz and young Ben Stiller with the wig and braces and like. And it actually works. And they look younger sometimes when comedies do this, it looks ridiculous.
Sierra Marquina
There's also something very sweet about opening with that. Aside from the franks and franks and beans thing and like Ted's, you know, inciting incident is to have that like idea of him as a character as a kid and be like, oh, this is like this sweet teenage love story. And not just this deranged middle aged man who's like, time for me to stalk my high school girlfriend.
Bill Simmons
Well, the key is that he still wants to see her even though she's. He's being told she's a deuce and a half. That's right, Tucker. Calling sex a good Rogering. I'd never heard it before since, but it always makes me laugh.
Sierra Marquina
British slang.
Bill Simmons
Maybe we'll give you a good rogering.
Chris Ryan
Is there a rogering gag in Austin Power Hours?
Bill Simmons
I've never heard the phrase rogering. Mary's theory that we need more meat on sticks does make. Make you wonder why we don't. Can we talk about just a corn dog?
Chris Ryan
Let's talk it out.
Sierra Marquina
I don't think I've ever seen you eat meat on a stick.
Bill Simmons
Well, what's the other one? They have like a long.
Sierra Marquina
Well, it's like kebabs, but.
Bill Simmons
Well, the.
Sierra Marquina
We're talking about fried ones.
Bill Simmons
Teriyaki beef and appetizers.
Chris Ryan
Yeah.
Bill Simmons
I always like having the stick.
Craig Robeck
Yeah.
Chris Ryan
What do you think there should be more corn dog style? Like, should there be like a. Like a steak dog of some kind?
Sierra Marquina
No, I mean, I just. I was just more surprised that this is something that's aged the best for Bill because I don't often see him indulging in corn dogs.
Bill Simmons
I think the theory age great for me because I do like corn dogs. They have one in Santa Monica Pier that my wife has stocked. My wife loves hot dogs, as you know. But they have a.
Chris Ryan
As you know.
Bill Simmons
Well, I've discussed before, she's a big hot dog. Hot dog fan.
Sierra Marquina
You must have missed that sub stack.
Chris Ryan
I know a lot about your wife.
Bill Simmons
Does your daughter eat hot dogs? She loves.
Chris Ryan
Loves hot dogs.
Bill Simmons
Because the best part about hot dogs is when you have little kids, you get to relive the hot dog experience through the kids. You get hot dogs back, you get Mac and cheese back. Get all this. You're gonna find out someday. You get all this food, you little mini chicken nuggets.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah. One day things you just stop getting.
Chris Ryan
I will say it is okay for
Craig Robeck
you to have my college diet, even
Chris Ryan
though you don't have a child. But what you're saying is true that like they're like a weekly occurrence.
Bill Simmons
People don't go out of their way to have hot dogs unless they're at a baseball game.
Sierra Marquina
You know what? My wife and I, I think it was like during or right after Covid. We'd have like bar like cookout nights. But it would just be the two of us. And I would. We would make hot dogs and I'd be like. It just doesn't hit the same when you're not with a communal situation. If you're like, we're making hot dogs as our dinner, it feels a little beaten down.
Chris Ryan
It's just. It goes quick, you know? It's not a luxurious meal.
Bill Simmons
When we went to the Giants game a couple weeks ago, I couldn't decide whether I wanted a kielbasa or a hot dog. Got em both double fisted.
Chris Ryan
No kidding.
Sierra Marquina
Many people have told me that we really fucked up by not getting the crab sandwich.
Bill Simmons
Oh really? Yeah.
Craig Robeck
I was so close.
Sierra Marquina
I wasn't gonna do it.
Bill Simmons
God damn that.
Sierra Marquina
Like that.
Craig Robeck
Just the lady next to me was
Chris Ryan
like, you don't want this to break bad.
Sierra Marquina
Baseball stadium, crab. I don't care if we're having it.
Chris Ryan
It's on the bay though.
Craig Robeck
We're on the bay. Come on.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah, sure. Lots of stuff happens on the bay.
Chris Ryan
Great ballpark though, right?
Sierra Marquina
Awesome.
Chris Ryan
Yeah.
Bill Simmons
My last what stage, the best is when Pat Healy is pretending he built the soccer stadium and Norm says, you built the Estadio Olympico. And he goes, no, just down the street, the Salent Caliente Towers.
Sierra Marquina
Okay, I have one more. Which was when. When he goes to. When Ted goes to see Wogie Dom at his law office and Chris Elliott's got the poster up that says bus crash, 12 kids killed. What does that cost us?
Chris Ryan
On the whiteboard during their meeting, like insurance adjusters meeting.
Sierra Marquina
We didn't talk about Chris Elliott. You yet.
Bill Simmons
We have a couple spots. You want to do it now?
Sierra Marquina
I just think that like there's, there's the Lee Evans, like there's the Tucker character. And then I, I found Chris Evans to be hysterical this time around. I don't know. Chris Elliot. Chris Elliott. Sorry. Chris Elliott, yeah. Was. Was hysterical this time around.
Bill Simmons
It's funny cuz I was a letter early Letterman guy and he was a writer and they started using him on the show. It was the first time. So initially he was the guy underneath the stairs and he would come out, he'd like pop up and it was like this running bit. He would interrupt the show as the psycho who lived in the stairs. And then he did the Fugitive guy, which was basically every episode would end the Fugitive, but it would be three minutes. But then everything peaked. When he was Marv Albert, he would come out and do the Albert Achievement Awards in this Marv Albert wig. And I just would have bought all this. I had all the Chris Elliott stock in like 1986. I was like, this guy is gonna transform comedy as we know it. And this I think was his biggest movie.
Craig Robeck
I think.
Chris Ryan
And this is after Get a Life and after Cabin Boy, right? Like, yeah, like it kind of. It had, it happened and it didn't hit.
Bill Simmons
He had a bad SNL run. He had like a Year in SNL that didn't really work.
Chris Ryan
So this is kind of. After all of that. And he's still. It's such a fearless performance because Woogie is so gross.
Sierra Marquina
All the hives and stuff.
Bill Simmons
Yeah, he tried to do. Marlon Brando was another running character. He tried to unlimit, too, but he was. Just kept you on your toes. Matt Damon and Euro Trip award for most unexpected a Lister cameo. Brett Favreau. Great shot. Gorner Award. What do you got? Cr?
Sierra Marquina
You know, what, do we just go for the ball shot?
Chris Ryan
It was my. The first one I wrote down.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah, the Frankie. I think it's just the most confrontational piece of cinema I've ever seen.
Chris Ryan
Yeah, it's like. Yeah, it's like several moments in Cruising. Right.
Sierra Marquina
A torsioned testicle.
Bill Simmons
I have a better answer.
Chris Ryan
Okay. Better.
Bill Simmons
Yeah, I think how they hide the giant waddicum on Ted's left ear for 12 seconds until she's like, what's that on your ear? And he turns. If you actually watch it, they do a really good job of. You only see him from this side. You never see the left ear. And so they really spring it on you. And I think it's impressive.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah.
Chris Ryan
A lot of leering shots of Cameron Diaz through binoculars in this movie as well. I don't know if you guys picked up on that.
Bill Simmons
I like when he got the bigger binoculars, then sees Magda, but it's like, it's not. His binoculars weren't good enough. He needs, like, the. Whatever. Chess Rockwell, Brock Leonard's award for best character named Magda.
Sierra Marquina
I had Dom Woege Woganowski.
Bill Simmons
Oh, that's good. All right. Kid Cudi Pursuit Happiness Award. Best needle drop.
Sierra Marquina
You love this soundtrack, don't you?
Bill Simmons
I really like Mary's Prayer by. By Danny Wilson.
Sierra Marquina
I have Every Day Should Be a Holiday by Dandy Warhols.
Bill Simmons
Guys, this is.
Chris Ryan
Build Me a Buttercup, please.
Bill Simmons
Buttercup's the answer. The ending. Okay, CR. You have a flex category.
Sierra Marquina
Brandy Booth award for the best performance by a pet goes to Puffy. Absolutely amazing dog performance. You know, I don't know how often they were using a dog puppet or dog zombie. You know, like.
Chris Ryan
Yeah, zombie.
Sierra Marquina
Not zombie.
Bill Simmons
You think you want to get a dog this movie?
Sierra Marquina
No.
Bill Simmons
Okay.
Sierra Marquina
No. But I like to observe from a distance, and it seems fun. And it's just one of the. One of the funniest dog characters I can think of.
Bill Simmons
It's the right answer. Doorfler's Door award for. How much did that hurt? The Frank's getting the Beans. Getting over the frank and the zipper.
Sierra Marquina
Ever had a friend who had some sort of, like, injury down there?
Bill Simmons
Honestly, no.
Chris Ryan
I've been thinking about this recently.
Bill Simmons
I think it would have been the most important thing that ever happened to any of my friends if that happened.
Chris Ryan
You were saying about how when you have young kids that Mac and cheese and hot dogs come back into your life. The other thing that comes back in your life when you have little kids is accidental nutshots, which, like, I just.
Bill Simmons
Or sometimes they're not accidental.
Sierra Marquina
They don't seem bad accidentally.
Chris Ryan
I have a daughter, not a son, so I'm fortunate to not get the purposeful ones.
Bill Simmons
Ben had six months where he was just like, this is the one area I know I could hurt him.
Sierra Marquina
This is the funniest thing in the world.
Bill Simmons
I'm just. And they're, like the same height. They're like.
Chris Ryan
And that's like. That's the true human, the true male frailty.
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
Chris Ryan
You get. You. You surprisingly get hit in the nuts and you're like, I. Perhaps I should just die now. Like, there's no recourse from that. So just pump that up.
Sierra Marquina
This is just such a great, like, depiction of everybody in the. In the 90s and the 80s. I'm sure, like, had the story about the kid in the other town over who hadn't pooped all summer. You know, like, it was just like the kid at prom who zipped his balls up and had to be taken away by an ambulance. It's just so. It's so resonant.
Chris Ryan
That's actually what that movie I told you about, Oops, I pooped my pants and killed my daughter's boyfriend. That's what that's about. It's about that kid.
Sierra Marquina
I almost said that guy's name on the rewatchables.
Chris Ryan
There was a real guy skipped it.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah.
Chris Ryan
Well, just say it. Just. What's going to happen? Is he alive? He is. He didn't die from that.
Sierra Marquina
No. But he had to go to the hospital.
Chris Ryan
He did?
Sierra Marquina
Yeah.
Chris Ryan
What'd they do?
Bill Simmons
We forgot to talk about how funny it was when they do the 1, 2. And then it cuts the. We got a bleeder.
Chris Ryan
It's a great cut.
Bill Simmons
You don't have a zipper story, do you, Craig?
Craig Robeck
I don't. Fortunately, I don't.
Bill Simmons
You come up with one later.
Craig Robeck
So far, so good.
Bill Simmons
I had a. I'm throwing in here. It's a book about medals award for belatedly best quoter exchange. I took a job with Bryce A Roni isn't that the San Francisco treat. It was. It was. Kills me for some reason. He's like, no, no, it's over. It's not the San Francisco treat. I really enjoy that. And then the Billy Bats Jack Waltz Award for most biting and scalable insult. Come on, cough it up, chompers. Pat Hilly won't pay his check right away.
Chris Ryan
I love this one. Isn't directly to someone's face, but when Pat and Ted are talking and he goes, who? Roller pig? Are you nuts? And Ted says, you said she was a real spark plug. No, I said butt plug. She's heinous.
Sierra Marquina
You can't forget. It's a sumo culture. Dead. They pay by the pound over there. Sort of like tuna. My favorite Billy Batts is actually far being like, I'm in town to play the dolphins, you dumbass.
Bill Simmons
Butch's girlfriend or winklink in the film.
Sierra Marquina
I got this one.
Bill Simmons
What do you got?
Sierra Marquina
Theatrical cut. Sully, the Jeffrey Tambor part.
Bill Simmons
Oh, so.
Sierra Marquina
And this is also because after you've watched, like, Ursa Development, you're like, jeffrey Tambor's in this movie. It must be like a really significant. In the extended cut, he has an entire plot line about him falling off the wagon and being eaten by a python. But in this theatrical cut, you're just like, why is he in this movie? And what was this whole. What was the point of this?
Chris Ryan
Which one did you watch to prepare for this?
Sierra Marquina
I watched the theater theatrical and then went to the. Just the Jeffrey Tambor scenes or the extended cut.
Bill Simmons
It's tough to cut Jeffrey Tambor, but I don't think this movie needed more stuff in it. No.
Chris Ryan
He's very funny when he picks Pat up from the airport as well.
Bill Simmons
What did you have for weak link?
Chris Ryan
I mean, there's not really, like, a person who is.
Craig Robeck
Now, what do you think of.
Bill Simmons
I have a strong.
Sierra Marquina
What do you think of Tucker?
Chris Ryan
I like Lee Evans. You're about to go in on Lee Evans.
Sierra Marquina
That's here.
Bill Simmons
I have Tucker.
Chris Ryan
Oh, no.
Bill Simmons
It's a nitpick as well. I just don't understand Tucker's plan.
Chris Ryan
Well, okay, but that.
Sierra Marquina
To me, it's a wiggling Tucker's plan.
Chris Ryan
I have that in the cat in
Bill Simmons
a category, so that's an advantage. He meets Mary. He falls for her. He pays somebody to break his bat with a baseball bat. So then she could treat him as an orthopedic surgeon. Pretends he's an English guy with a cane who's. Who's basically crippled now from this injury. But he's also Delivering pizza on the side. And he thinks this is going to land Mary. But what happens when he actually lands Mary? Like, he is the worst plan of anyone.
Sierra Marquina
Mary is an orthopedic surgeon. Wouldn't she look at new X rays of his back and be like, your back has been healed?
Bill Simmons
Because clearly all of it falls apart. I don't understand really any part of it.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah.
Bill Simmons
What he's up to. But it's only one of the things you notice after watching this movie 12
Sierra Marquina
times and taking it seriously when it's not meant to be.
Bill Simmons
Yeah. I just felt like Tucker could have maybe three more hours in the spitball session on Tucker. Maybe Tucker got injured on a motorcycle, Mary treated him and then he beat. Yeah, there's something better version.
Craig Robeck
I don't disagree. I think he's a little bit turned up. I know the movie's ridiculous, but, Sean, what you were saying earlier about how Matt Dillon's character's taking it seriously. Chris Elliot. I feel like he's taking it seriously. I do feel like Tucker is the only character where I'm like, this actually does break the world a little bit. He is doing something bigger than the rest of the characters in the movie. It's a little more slapstick and screwball than anyone else.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah.
Bill Simmons
I also had him for the Ruffalo handed Rubenick Partridge over acting award.
Chris Ryan
I was concerned.
Bill Simmons
He really dials it up one of the times.
Chris Ryan
It's weird what happened with him because he was the star of Mouse Hunt. Remember the movie mouse hunt in 1987? Did you ever see that movie? And then there's something about Mary. And then he's in the Ladies man. He was in the Fifth Element. He was in a bunch of stuff in the late 90s. He was a big stand up comic in England and then basically never acted in movies again. He's only in a few more movies. Yes, the world agreed with you.
Sierra Marquina
Wait, what was your weakest link? You just didn't really have one.
Chris Ryan
There's not really an actor in this that I think is bad. In fact, I think it's like overstuffed with way overqualified actors.
Craig Robeck
You guys all like the musical interstitials?
Bill Simmons
I personally do, but I'm used to them. I can see why. I do think it's one of the
Sierra Marquina
only signals also that there's another,
Chris Ryan
I
Sierra Marquina
don't want to say consciousness. Like there's another POV on the story of the movie that's like kind of like tongue in cheek. You know what I mean? It makes it like a Fable. It's like a fairy tale.
Chris Ryan
Yeah.
Sierra Marquina
You're just not a Jonathan Richman guy, apparently.
Craig Robeck
It's okay. I feel like that's such an easy, like four minutes that you could take out of the movie. And I don't think she's always thinking about length. Well, it's not even that. I just like those are the moments in the movie where I kind of like, okay, I guess I'll check my phone until they're done singing.
Sierra Marquina
You don't find it funny when this sniper.
Craig Robeck
That was funny.
Sierra Marquina
Sure.
Craig Robeck
Yeah. The gag at the end, maybe it's all worth it for that. But I did feel that. I felt like that was a little bit the second time in. You're like, okay, I kind of get this.
Bill Simmons
Craig, I forgot to ask you what the Horlbeck scale was for this.
Craig Robeck
It's two hour movie, 119 minutes.
Bill Simmons
So we're plus 19.
Craig Robeck
I do think you could probably shave five to 10 minutes of this movie. And it's maybe.
Sierra Marquina
So what would you take out besides Jonathan Richmond?
Craig Robeck
I think I would.
Bill Simmons
You're probably gonna hate religious.
Craig Robeck
I would probably. I don't think you need the hitchhiker scene. And then I think you could get rid of the musical stuff and it's probably like an hour 40.
Sierra Marquina
No, the hitchhiker scene is. How could you not have the hitchhiker scene?
Craig Robeck
It doesn't have anything to do with the movie. It's good.
Bill Simmons
Listen, he's just horrorbecking it up. Can I give you this on the Jonathan Richman?
Craig Robeck
Uh huh. Is that the musician?
Sierra Marquina
Yeah.
Bill Simmons
The music stuff, it walks. So the Dan band could then run fair with the Hangover. And what was the other movie they were in?
Craig Robeck
They're in a bunch of stuff.
Bill Simmons
They were in two big ones though. Oh, forgetting Sarah Marshall? No, no. I mean, no. Wedding Crashers.
Craig Robeck
Wedding Crashers. They're in.
Sierra Marquina
Oh, yeah.
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
Craig Robeck
Okay. It's worth it. If I get the Dan band.
Chris Ryan
I think it's a great choice. The Jonathan Richmond stuff, It feels very 90s. It does.
Sierra Marquina
Cutting the hitchhiker and then the subsequent interrogation scene is non negotiable.
Craig Robeck
We do get the kindergarten cop guy.
Sierra Marquina
Speaking of which, I like Leo DiCaprio. Buffalo Hannah Rubyk is Richard Tyson, the sweating detective.
Bill Simmons
Just tough. He's going really well on the rewatchables for Richard.
Craig Robeck
What do you mean? He crushed it in this movie.
Bill Simmons
We're gonna take one more break and then do what's a worst. This episode is brought to you by LinkedIn ads. Ever invest in something that seemed Incredible at first, but didn't live up to the hype. Well, marketers know the feeling. They optimize for the numbers that look great. Impressions Reach reacts. But when they don't show revenue, well, that's not such a great conversation with the CFO. LinkedIn has a word for that. Bull spend. Instead, why not invest in what looks good to your CFO? LinkedIn Ads generates the highest roas of all major ad networks. Reach the right buyers with LinkedIn ads you can target by company, industry, job title and more. So cut the bull spend. Advertise on LinkedIn, the network that works for you. Spend $250 in your first campaign on LinkedIn ads. Get a $250 credit for the next one. Just go to LinkedIn.com rewatchables. Terms and conditions apply. This message is brought to you by Apple Card. Hey, you could be earning 2% daily cash back in that purchase and that one and even that one. That's because Apple card users earn 2% daily cash back on every purchase, including everyday items they buy online or in store when using their Apple Card. With Apple Pay, not an Apple Card customer, you can apply in the Wallet app on iPhone subject to credit approval. Apple Card issued by Goldman Sachs bank usa Salt Lake City branch terms and more at Apple Co benefits. All right, what's age the worst? Brett Favreau. Yeah, it's a great casting in 1998. That's kind of weird to see him. Yeah, it's tough, tough times for Brett. Also quarterback the Jets. And then Warren. Warren. I think even the fairlies are like, yeah, we probably fucked that up. We should have cast somebody who was special needs. That's not how they thought in the 90s. Peter said, I wouldn't do that today. I would hire an actor with intellectual disabilities. They're all over the place at that time. They weren't didn't get the opportunities. I guess I don't have any other woods Asia wears.
Sierra Marquina
I didn't really have. I mean, once you go in on the premise of this film.
Bill Simmons
Yeah, it's a comedy. Sean, you have flex category. Yeah.
Chris Ryan
Usually this category is reserved for thrillers and horror films, but when would I have died? Is not the zipper. It's not when my date's father would have come into the room. It's when the police officer would come through the window. That's when I would have died from zipping my johnson up in my zipper.
Bill Simmons
Police officer would have intimidated you?
Chris Ryan
Yeah, I think that would have just
Bill Simmons
would have bled to death.
Chris Ryan
Scared stiff. Yeah, yeah. That's what I would have died.
Bill Simmons
I like it. The CR Thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Ford. Hottest take award. What do you got, CR Is Ted
Sierra Marquina
the most deranged of all these guys? Is Ted sitting around? Well, I, you know, obviously I would rank Tucker first.
Bill Simmons
I think Tucker, that's why it's our take.
Sierra Marquina
It's not the, like, here's the. Here's the mid speed take.
Chris Ryan
Ted's lies are just kind of harmless.
Bill Simmons
Does Ted have a job?
Sierra Marquina
He's a magazine writer.
Chris Ryan
Yeah.
Bill Simmons
Magazine writer.
Chris Ryan
Yeah.
Sierra Marquina
I'm curious what kind of pieces he writes. It's funny when he could work ever is. Like you could just work from anywhere.
Chris Ryan
Yeah. Searing explorations of fascism in the New Yorker.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah. He's just like, God, I'm really obsessed with this girl.
Bill Simmons
So what's the case for Ted being most.
Sierra Marquina
Well, I mean, hanging on to that obsession for so long that you're still in therapy about it.
Bill Simmons
You horrified her entire family.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah.
Bill Simmons
In the course of 15 minutes.
Sierra Marquina
Like, it's not really. I understand why the severity of your injury made you go retreat within yourself. But like, you have plenty of opportunities probably to reach out. You stalk her. You use a private investigator to go after her. That private investigator winds up lying to you about his results, but then you still pursue her all the way down. I 95 nearly get arrested for murder and yeah, obviously learn some lessons. But I think that there's something about the lengths of what he goes to that suggests he might be the craziest one of the three.
Bill Simmons
Solid take. What do you got?
Chris Ryan
Ben Stiller is the greatest cuck actor of all time.
Bill Simmons
Wow. Who is this competition?
Chris Ryan
If you need a cuck, if you need a guy, if you need a bitch boy.
Bill Simmons
Right.
Chris Ryan
If you need somebody who is like,
Bill Simmons
he makes the most sense.
Chris Ryan
Not only does he make the most sense, but there actually is not a second choice. There's not a comic actor who you
Sierra Marquina
could be like, I'm gonna humiliate him.
Chris Ryan
The whole premise of the movie is this guy is a loser and will lose all the way until the end and then I'll get the girl. But that's the premise of like nine $100 million Ben Stiller movies.
Bill Simmons
Really good. So mine is also a casting. What if the Farrelly brothers wanted to cast Drew Bledsoe as. As the Brett Favre character and he passed because he had just had this mosh club incident, which was a big deal. Who was living in Boston?
Sierra Marquina
What was the concert?
Bill Simmons
They were. I forget what. Who. Who was playing, but it was.
Sierra Marquina
It wasn't Everclear, was it? I think it might have been.
Bill Simmons
It might have been Everclear. It was. I think it was in Providence.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah.
Bill Simmons
Maybe it was in BA. I don't remember what city was in,
Sierra Marquina
but it was Everclear.
Bill Simmons
Yeah. The Pats.
Sierra Marquina
That's knowledge right there.
Bill Simmons
Him and a couple offensive linemen, and it was just bad. And it became a huge deal. And, like, the pay. This was. Pete Carroll was the coach. This. This. The inmates are running the asylum kind of stuff. And right around then, he got. And he was like, I better not do it. My hottest take is. I think this is the most underrated thing that ever happened to Patriot fans, because if he takes this movie and it makes $380 million and he becomes a little bit cooler, that confidence then goes on the field, and I don't know if Tom Brady ever happens.
Sierra Marquina
Do you think that this. Does he still do the Everclear concert in this version of his.
Bill Simmons
He'd already done it. That's why. Yeah. Do you think he does.
Sierra Marquina
Anyway, he thinks this movie redeems himself somehow.
Bill Simmons
Redeems himself? Star becomes. He goes. Jerry Maguire in this. He's got his mojo back. Tom Brady's right there. He's like, you know what? I was in there. Something about Mary made $350 million. I'm not. You're. I'm not afraid of you.
Craig Robeck
He's dating Cameron Diaz.
Bill Simmons
Yeah. Maybe he doesn't run out of bounds. He just runs out of bounds instead. Taking the hit from Mo Lewis because he's not, like, insecure. He's just out.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah. In this version of events, it's like Cameron Diaz dates Drew Bledsoe and then Neil DeGrasse Tyson, and then, like.
Bill Simmons
And then we don't get six Super Bowls.
Chris Ryan
But have you considered that that level of confidence in Drew Bledsoe could have led to Super Bowls from Drew Bledsoe?
Bill Simmons
Like, it's very possible. I'm just saying it's an alternate universe for the Pats fans. Would you rather take.
Chris Ryan
You'd rather have Tom knowing what we
Bill Simmons
know about six Super Bowls? And I'm fine with Brett Favre being in this movie.
Chris Ryan
What about six Super Bowls from Drew and then not Tom, you know, not choosing a rooting interest in the Super Bowl? You know, some of the Deflategate stuff.
Bill Simmons
I don't think he could have won the six.
Chris Ryan
Bringing in his health consultant Alex Guerra, getting cucked by Gisele Bundchen. Like, all these things that happened.
Craig Robeck
You know that video where he kissed on the lips. That was a tough one.
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
Chris Ryan
I kissed this on lips. On the lips.
Bill Simmons
You don't get that Tom Brady rose.
Chris Ryan
What else happened to Tom Brady? Some other stuff.
Bill Simmons
I'm sorry I brought this up.
Sierra Marquina
You're maybe not the warmest room to do it in. Yeah.
Bill Simmons
Casting what ifs. Owen Wilson and Jon Stewart were the other two candidates for Ted. Bill Murray was considered for Pat Haley. But the fairliest thought he was too old. Vince Vaughn. Cuba Gooding Jr. Also considered for Pat Haley. I think Vince Vaughn could have done this.
Sierra Marquina
I think he could have.
Bill Simmons
But I think I'm glad we ended up with a.
Sierra Marquina
There's an element of Vince Vaughn that I think also would have been like a little mug into the camera. Like.
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
Chris Ryan
Is he too tall? He was going to be Ted.
Bill Simmons
Vince Vaughn. No. Over Pat Healy.
Chris Ryan
He could have done Pat.
Bill Simmons
Yeah, I think he could have done Pat. And then they also offered the Mary part, the Brett Favre part to Steve Young, but he turned it down due to the film's coarse nature because he.
Sierra Marquina
He said the Mormons would all come out and see it and that they would. They would reject him.
Chris Ryan
Where do you stand on Steve Young?
Sierra Marquina
Always admired that. He knew when to hang him up.
Bill Simmons
Yeah. The weirdest what if.
Sierra Marquina
That's why this is my last pod.
Bill Simmons
I did not know this one. Chris Farley turned down Warren.
Sierra Marquina
This would have been a real.
Bill Simmons
And they couldn't insured him anyway. He did dirty work and then he died as they were making the movie. So probably a good miss by all parties.
Sierra Marquina
But I think that that would have been really distracting.
Bill Simmons
I think that that ruins the movie.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah.
Craig Robeck
I think it would have been seen as more. It would have aged worse.
Sierra Marquina
Yes.
Craig Robeck
Yeah.
Chris Ryan
Yeah.
Bill Simmons
Best that Guy award. Not eligible. Lenny Clark and Steve Sweeney. Richard Tyson Williams. Because I'm making them. Not eligible.
Chris Ryan
Richard Tyson is not eligible.
Bill Simmons
We just covered him two weeks ago. He was crisp. People know Richard Tyson.
Sierra Marquina
Is that okay?
Chris Ryan
Right?
Craig Robeck
Do I think people know his name is Richard Tyson?
Bill Simmons
No, they probably don't.
Sierra Marquina
Fine.
Bill Simmons
He's eligible.
Craig Robeck
I don't.
Bill Simmons
Did you know who played Magda?
Sierra Marquina
Yeah. Lynn Shea.
Bill Simmons
Lynn Shea.
Chris Ryan
Bob Harsh sister. Yeah.
Bill Simmons
We also have Sanford from Sex and the City. AKA Willie Garson's.
Chris Ryan
Right.
Bill Simmons
Wearing the long wig with, like big zits on it.
Sierra Marquina
That's who I have. Head.
Craig Robeck
That's a good one.
Chris Ryan
I've got him on the list.
Bill Simmons
The winner is W. Earl Brown as Warren.
Chris Ryan
He's up there. Deadwood fans rejoice.
Sierra Marquina
The master.
Bill Simmons
He was Kenny the cameraman in Scream. He was In Deadwood, he was in the master, and he apparently had three
Sierra Marquina
years in NYPD Blue, Joaquin, and him getting the fight in the master.
Bill Simmons
Right?
Chris Ryan
That's right. Real ones would go, I think Rob Moran, who is in Dumb and Dumber, Kingpin. And there's something about Mary, he's the bartender. And Dumb and Dumber, he's one of the bad guys. Stanley Osmansky in Kingpin, and he's clearly a Farrelly Brothers extended player. He's in the troupe, and he pops up in a bunch of their movies. He's in Shallow House, Me, Myself and Irene. He's the other cop. He's.
Bill Simmons
Oh, that guy.
Chris Ryan
He's Tyson's partner.
Bill Simmons
Oh, that's a good. That guy.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah.
Bill Simmons
Okay. Dion Waiters. Our nominees include Avery Brooks, Richard Jenkins, Jeffrey Tambor, Magda, Harlan Williams, Chris Elliott, Brett Favre. We don't see Mongo, but I think he's in here anyway.
Chris Ryan
Sure.
Bill Simmons
And then Jonathan Richmond. What do you got?
Sierra Marquina
Cr. I think it's Jenkins.
Chris Ryan
I don't. Did you say Keith David?
Bill Simmons
Oh, I didn't. I don't know why he's Keith David. I said Avery Brooks and I meant Keith. I just got Avery Brooks and Keith David confused. We did a whole podcast.
Sierra Marquina
Avery Brooks. Yeah, yeah.
Bill Simmons
Keith David.
Chris Ryan
Keith David.
Bill Simmons
We did a whole segment before about how those guys, you could have swapped them in different ways.
Sierra Marquina
I think there will be a contingent of listeners who think it's Harlan Williams.
Bill Simmons
I would go for.
Sierra Marquina
They're the same people who don't think Richard Tyson is a. That guy.
Bill Simmons
You know, I think my answer. Harlan Williams is pretty good.
Chris Ryan
You know, that old children's tale from the Sea.
Bill Simmons
Who'd you pick?
Sierra Marquina
Keith David.
Chris Ryan
Keith David.
Bill Simmons
I think it's Keith David.
Sierra Marquina
Okay, I'll now put it.
Bill Simmons
Just called him Avery Brooks. Recasting couch director, City. Can I Test drive Norm MacDonald as Tucker for you guys?
Chris Ryan
Oh, yeah.
Sierra Marquina
Doing the British accent.
Bill Simmons
Maybe we get rid of the British accent for Norm. But he's just doing Tucker, pretending he hurt his back, but now he's delivering pizzas. Who's on?
Chris Ryan
Norm as Pat.
Bill Simmons
Norm as Pat could have worked, too. I just feel like Norm MacDonald could have been in this movie. Could he have been the Richard Tyson?
Sierra Marquina
Could he have been Woegie?
Bill Simmons
Could have been Woegie. Like, I just felt like we needed him in this somewhere.
Chris Ryan
He's busy making dirty work.
Bill Simmons
I get it.
Chris Ryan
I mean, Norm fits in perfectly with this movie.
Bill Simmons
If Norm is Tucker, this movie, I think is better.
Chris Ryan
Can I make a suggestion in this category? I want to Recast the genre because I think you can remake the movie exactly the same, but as a lurid thriller.
Sierra Marquina
Oh, my God. It would be such a great From Hell.
Bill Simmons
From Hell movie.
Chris Ryan
Yes, but it's like, like, it's like five stalkers from hell that are all going after.
Sierra Marquina
It's basically like a Shannon, like, opening up her heart and getting it, like. And then finding out the guy is a complete lie.
Chris Ryan
Exactly.
Bill Simmons
I feel like black stars might be making this right now.
Chris Ryan
It's like Power Season seven or mgm.
Sierra Marquina
MGM plus.
Bill Simmons
You mean MGM plus.
Craig Robeck
Yeah, I mean the Chris Elliott turn is legitimately chilling in this movie.
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
Chris Ryan
It's like Pacific Heights.
Craig Robeck
Two minutes where it's very kind of scary.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah, yeah. Well, when he's got, like, his face is full of boils.
Craig Robeck
He's, like, twitching. He's got the eye boil.
Sierra Marquina
He's got her shoes. Yeah, yeah.
Craig Robeck
The shoe thing really deflates it. They very smartly pivoted to having it not because you obviously think it's going to be like him doing something physical to her and he's just smelling her shoes.
Chris Ryan
Stole all my shoes.
Craig Robeck
Yeah.
Bill Simmons
Craig, you have a flex category.
Craig Robeck
I'm going to wear. Put on my van hat and I'm going to do a. A top five list. Top five most shocking and hilarious male nudity in a major comedy. Okay. The zipper scene in there's something about Mary. The ball sack on the drum set in Stepbrothers.
Chris Ryan
Yeah.
Craig Robeck
Jason Siegel, full nude surprise. And forgetting Sarah Marshall. The Borat naked hotel fight.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah, yeah.
Craig Robeck
And Ken Jeong naked crowbar scene in the Hangover.
Chris Ryan
So those are all comedies.
Craig Robeck
Yeah, that's the category.
Chris Ryan
Oh, it was just comedies.
Craig Robeck
Yes.
Sierra Marquina
Funniest. Nate. Nudity.
Chris Ryan
Yeah.
Craig Robeck
Most shocking and hilarious male nudity.
Sierra Marquina
Adam Teddy. Comedy is funnier.
Chris Ryan
Well, to live and die in LA when Peterson is just, like, letting it go. I laughed.
Craig Robeck
The other contenders, MC Ganey and Sideways.
Chris Ryan
Oh, that's a good one.
Bill Simmons
That's a really good one.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah. Yeah.
Bill Simmons
We could see him running and then
Craig Robeck
the giant devil penis and this is the end. But I don't know if he counts as a male. I delicately investigated.
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
Chris Ryan
Hey, Claude.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah.
Craig Robeck
You'd be surprised. There are Reddit threads about.
Sierra Marquina
This is the first time you talk to Claude, just like, hey, was the search been curious about AI comedies.
Bill Simmons
Male nude scene penis.
Craig Robeck
I really made the point. I made sure that Google knew, like, humorous male nudity scenes that are jokes. Funny male nudity scenes.
Chris Ryan
Let's get your search history up on the screen right now. Can we get that?
Craig Robeck
I Got nothing to hide. I stand by this top five.
Sierra Marquina
It's just Makai Lemon team.
Bill Simmons
Can I give you the answer? Okay, first of all, great category.
Craig Robeck
It's not on this list. The answer.
Bill Simmons
No, the answer is Borat. That's the fucking funniest. The hotel fights Borat ever with the fucking Azomat. Like, that's it. That's the peak of everything.
Chris Ryan
Another movie that had the same kind of energy.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah, Borat in the theater is the same thing.
Bill Simmons
Half ass Internet research. The scene when Ted gets his scrotum stuck in his pants was inspired by a real incident. Farrelly brothers. Their sister was listening to records and one of the kids went to the bathroom. Friends with their sister and had that happen. Not the same thing, but some of it. But when Ted falls off the stretcher. Not scripted. They kept it in. It was a mistake. Ben Stiller fell off the waterfront.
Sierra Marquina
I see him grab his arm. Kind of like realistically.
Bill Simmons
The waterfront house where Mary lived in Miami was destroyed in 2008 by a construction accident. It's gone. High school scene in the beginning was shot at Plantation City hall in Florida. They saw a rough cut. They thought it was too raunchy. And they requested do not be acknowledged in the credits. When you offend Florida, you've really pulled something off. And then we mentioned the Tambor scene. And then. And then the Diaz worried that the gel scene was gonna gross people out, so they shot two versions.
Sierra Marquina
There's also like a. Like a pretty pointless but like, I guess, you know, it's like. If you're curious, there's one of the extended cutscenes is about like, Ted's family. And it's like, oh, Ted's brother. And like donating kidneys to the brother. There's like, they build it up a little bit more about what he's been
Bill Simmons
doing in between Apex Mountain. Stiller. No, we're not there yet. Okay.
Chris Ryan
I don't have Stiller.
Bill Simmons
Diaz. I think. Yes. I think she comes out of this.
Sierra Marquina
Is this her biggest movie?
Bill Simmons
Because it's My Best Friend's Wedding the year before, then this. And I feel like she has the juice now. That leads to Charlie's angels. She gets 20 million for Charlie's Angels too, I think.
Chris Ryan
Are we sure it's not Charlie's Angels?
Bill Simmons
Might be, but I feel like she was the Icarus. She kind of takes Julia Roberts ironically. Like, probably her title here. Right. She could have done whatever she wanted after this movie. Yeah, it's weird. She's like two rom coms late. When I was looking at the IMDb because she eventually does in the Holiday. Sweetest Thing isn't really a rom com,
Sierra Marquina
but you don't think so.
Bill Simmons
Well, it's a comedy.
Chris Ryan
She just made more sex comedies than rom coms. She was not really a rom. She's in the Holiday, but she was not really a rom com person.
Bill Simmons
She didn't make a while you were sleeping or. But she really.
Chris Ryan
She made like sex tape, you know, she did the.
Bill Simmons
She made the Malkovich movies. She did the Gangs in New York. Matt Dillon, though.
Chris Ryan
What's Matt Dillon's Apex Mountain?
Bill Simmons
I think it's in the 80s. Huh.
Sierra Marquina
Do you think it's Outsiders?
Bill Simmons
I think it.
Sierra Marquina
Or Rumble Fish or whatever.
Bill Simmons
He felt like he was the biggest teen actor in the world in the 83, 84 range for a couple years there. The Farrelly brothers. Yes. So this leads to me, myself and Irene a year later, which is a bonkers movie. A year and a half.
Chris Ryan
I wrote down the Farrellys, and I think it's probably the answer. But, you know, Peter Farrelly won best picture, like, whatever, 20 years later.
Bill Simmons
So would you say this was Bobby Farrelly's Apex Mountain, but Peter Farrelly was winning for Green Book?
Sierra Marquina
I think it's. I think it's theirs just because as
Bill Simmons
a combo, this is it.
Sierra Marquina
I think Peter Farrelly and Bobby Farrelly would probably go out and like, they could do a screening for this movie tomorrow and it would be full and they would be like, arts. I don't know that Green Book has that legacy.
Bill Simmons
You can't have a comedy do better than this. I don't think this movie was an absolute comedy phenomenon that made a ton of money and either created stars or made stars bigger.
Sierra Marquina
It's also just so striking because we just did Ghostbusters and to watch a movie where it's like Ghostbusters still at the last 20 minutes is like kind of a sci fi movie. Like, a lot of the jokes in Ghostbusters are said to the side of, like, the plot. This movie is like, every scene is a gag. Every scene builds up to a big, big punchline.
Bill Simmons
The Providence Bruins. No. Chris Elliott.
Sierra Marquina
When was the Providence Bruins Apex?
Bill Simmons
Huge poster in the Ben 1 bedroom scene with Ben Storer.
Chris Ryan
We get.
Sierra Marquina
But I'm saying, was there another Apex Mountain?
Bill Simmons
They won a couple AHL titles. Okay, okay.
Sierra Marquina
Chris Elliott.
Chris Ryan
Letterman.
Bill Simmons
Yeah, I think it's Letterman.
Chris Ryan
Apex. It's probably this. I mean, maybe that first episode, Get a Life, where I was like, it's happening. Like, it's like the premiere episode. It's like, it's on Fox. Was it Sunday night? Like, against, like, after the Simpsons. Right? Like, that was Right. Herman. Herman's Head hours.
Sierra Marquina
I was more of a Herman's head guy.
Bill Simmons
Would you go funny come scenes or something else, Sierra?
Sierra Marquina
I mean, buffalo Migs is pretty high up there for funny come scenes, but it's unintentional comedy. This is the most intentional come scene.
Bill Simmons
Funny.
Chris Ryan
What are some other come scenes?
Sierra Marquina
Craig, want to Google that for us?
Craig Robeck
Yeah, I'll pull that up.
Bill Simmons
Funniest come scenes. Hold on, guys. Franks and beans.
Chris Ryan
Apex Mountain for the terminology phrase or franks and beans.
Sierra Marquina
I think it's the funniest penis injury I've ever seen on.
Bill Simmons
I will say this. Franks and beans has been a running joke at my house ever since about actual franks and beans and, like, you know, changing.
Chris Ryan
You could go anywhere. Like, I don't know where you're gonna take this.
Bill Simmons
Changing our son's diaper.
Chris Ryan
Okay, okay.
Bill Simmons
Like, make sure you get under the franks and beans like that. It's just been in the Lexcon in the Simmons house. Sorry, Ben. Miami comedies. I'm gonna say yes.
Chris Ryan
Yeah.
Craig Robeck
Okay.
Chris Ryan
Miami Vice is hilarious to me.
Bill Simmons
Miami movies gets a little more interesting.
Sierra Marquina
I think it's Miami Vice.
Bill Simmons
Is that as well?
Craig Robeck
Are you excited?
Chris Ryan
It's Scarface.
Sierra Marquina
What are we talking about for Miami Vice? 85.
Bill Simmons
Okay.
Sierra Marquina
Did you want. You want to do, like, a separate little segment at the end of this?
Bill Simmons
Did you hear Sean's idea? Flipping them.
Sierra Marquina
Flipping them. Oh, making. Oh, making mbj.
Bill Simmons
MBJ is Crockett in Austin Butler's tubs. That got me excited.
Chris Ryan
Right? Isn't that the move?
Sierra Marquina
That is the move.
Bill Simmons
I don't think Austin Butler can be
Chris Ryan
Sonny Crockett, but MBJ can be Sonny.
Bill Simmons
Have we ever seen him smoke a cigarette?
Sierra Marquina
I feel like he smoked cigarettes and caught stealing. Right.
Chris Ryan
He does.
Craig Robeck
Is that not what they're doing? It's not MBJ as Sonny.
Bill Simmons
I don't know.
Craig Robeck
I feel like it would have to be.
Sierra Marquina
That would be weird for Michael B. Jordan to be like, I'm happy to play second fiddle to Austin Butler. I just won an Oscar.
Bill Simmons
Jamie did it.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah.
Chris Ryan
And he was bigger at the time and had come up. Was coming off.
Sierra Marquina
I guess you're right.
Bill Simmons
Crazy suntans.
Chris Ryan
It's actually the same thing. Was coming off the Ray Win.
Bill Simmons
Crazy brown suntans. I think. Yes. Jonathan Richmond definitely is Cruz or Hanks.
Sierra Marquina
I cruise Cruz as.
Bill Simmons
As Ted or somebody else.
Sierra Marquina
I would like to see Cruz with the chompers as Healy.
Chris Ryan
See, I think actually 80s Hanks could do Pat Healy.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah.
Bill Simmons
Oh, interesting. I had Hanks either as, as Ted or Pat Healy. Hanks could have done either.
Sierra Marquina
Cruz could have done the, the Hitchhiker. 7 minute abs.
Bill Simmons
I think Hanks is the answer. Scorsese or Spielberg? Tough one for these guys.
Sierra Marquina
I think it's Marty and it's Cape Fear. It's basically a thriller.
Chris Ryan
That's good.
Bill Simmons
The Catherine Tramell. Would you throw your life away for this obvious stay away award?
Sierra Marquina
Is that for Mary?
Chris Ryan
Who's the stay away?
Bill Simmons
I think it's Mary. Just because she has all these psychos after her. Yeah.
Sierra Marquina
Oh, once you find out her dating history and it's like you've dated NFL quarterback and three guys.
Chris Ryan
Yeah. She's like, maybe I'm looking over your
Craig Robeck
shoulder the entire time. You'd get murdered by some stalker.
Bill Simmons
I would still throw it away picking it. Why does Mary's an orthopedic surgeon, but lives in this weird complex where she shares a balcony with Magna. What's going on here?
Sierra Marquina
I, I, I feel like this is like, basically right out of, like 90s sitcoms where it's like, yeah, they all live together. It's like, why, why would they, why
Chris Ryan
would you live with Magda?
Bill Simmons
Wouldn't she be in, like, a. On the 34th floor of some high rise?
Sierra Marquina
Is it supposed to be that she's Magnus next door neighbor and is like, kind of shares a balcony with her or that's what it with Mag?
Bill Simmons
No, she lives next door.
Craig Robeck
She explains it.
Sierra Marquina
Right.
Craig Robeck
Magnus husband dies and was lonely, and Cameron Diaz is like the most altruistic human that's ever lived. Right. So it's doing her a favor by keeping her company.
Sierra Marquina
And then Mag just starts nailing the homeless dock worker.
Bill Simmons
Speaking of Mary, does she have patience? Is she working? What's going on here?
Chris Ryan
She seems to, like, sees Tucker in her office.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah, but that's the. Otherwise, it's like during the day, she's, like, driving around, no surgeries, play golf and buy, like, checkers for.
Bill Simmons
She's working at the, at the camp. Yeah, she's checking out her golf swing.
Chris Ryan
You wanted more scenes of her experience.
Sierra Marquina
Well, that might explain why she's living in a small apartment.
Chris Ryan
Not getting a lot of business.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah.
Bill Simmons
Would have liked to have seen her at least, like, move somebody's knee around and been like, how's your ACL Feel better?
Chris Ryan
Is that what happens?
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
Chris Ryan
Okay.
Bill Simmons
Does that feel better? Wouldn't Ted have known that he went to the same high school as Woogie?
Sierra Marquina
Woogie went to 1/4, Ted, he went
Chris Ryan
to Borington Falls or whatever they talk
Bill Simmons
about, but she knew Mary's okay. Same town, at least.
Chris Ryan
Neighboring neighborhood.
Sierra Marquina
Neighbor says four towns over. It. We heard about it. Four towns over.
Bill Simmons
But he knows who Woogie is. He knows this guy's name is Don Woogenowski. Never put the two and two together. I guess Ted's not a rocket scientist.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah, he's just a magazine writer.
Bill Simmons
I have one more big one, but do you have any.
Sierra Marquina
I don't really know what Dom's plan here was. Dom gets the ball rolling downhill. Yeah.
Bill Simmons
Why is he helping Ted but trying to sabotage him?
Chris Ryan
He's a maniac.
Sierra Marquina
But he wants Healy to find Mary, and then he's gonna go. But, like, when he's home watching Cops, was he, like, I might go down there anyway, or does he only go down there once Ted gets arrested?
Chris Ryan
Well, he's relieved earlier in the film when he hears that Mary is overweight. And he is only interested, really, in coming down when he finds out. It's a ruse. Right?
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
Chris Ryan
So then when he learns that Mary
Bill Simmons
looks good, his face starts breaking out. Yeah. Yeah. How would Ted ever get ahold of Brett Favre the week of the Dolphins game?
Chris Ryan
Incredible. Incredible question, red.
Bill Simmons
Favre's like, 30 million people are watching NFL games.
Sierra Marquina
I don't know. Like, back in 98, did those guys have to go through, like, massive film sessions? Wasn't it just kind of go out there and throw some frozen ropes?
Chris Ryan
Out of all 30 starting quarterbacks in the NFL, who's the one you think you get closest to getting in touch with right now?
Sierra Marquina
Oh, this is a fucking awesome question.
Bill Simmons
Not Jalen hurts, I'll tell you that much.
Chris Ryan
That's for darn sure.
Sierra Marquina
I would have said darl. I darn the Super Bowl.
Craig Robeck
Why not?
Chris Ryan
Because he seems like a regular guy.
Sierra Marquina
He seems like the kind of guy who'd be like, I also like prestige television, and I watch and maybe DM once.
Bill Simmons
What do you think? I think the answer is Drake May. Because you go through his wife.
Sierra Marquina
I mean, we're not through you.
Bill Simmons
No. Do you go through Drake May's wife, and she's on social media all the time, and you just be like, I
Sierra Marquina
want to hang out with you.
Bill Simmons
Chris Ryan of the Watch.
Sierra Marquina
You see that?
Chris Ryan
Is that how you introduce yourself to new people?
Bill Simmons
Chris Rider, the Watch?
Craig Robeck
No.
Chris Ryan
No. Who's, like, the least successful actor, I bet.
Sierra Marquina
Bryce Young.
Chris Ryan
Bryce Young, number one overall pick.
Sierra Marquina
Oh, this is stupid. Baker.
Craig Robeck
Baker would definitely answer.
Bill Simmons
Baker isn't the answer. Tyler schuck. It's like 25. Happy to be here.
Sierra Marquina
No, but Baker actually would bits, and Baker would be like, yeah, man, I'll come hang out on like a Thursday.
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
Sierra Marquina
I feel like Baker's like, does like three pods a week.
Bill Simmons
Any other picket,
Chris Ryan
to me, the biggest one is like, I get Pat's move here. Okay, let me go back. Is Pat's move to have sex with Mary or is it to be in love forever?
Sierra Marquina
I think he loves.
Bill Simmons
I think wants to marry Mary. Yeah, he loves her. Okay.
Chris Ryan
So that plan is going to fall apart at a certain point.
Bill Simmons
Right. And he's probably got to uncap his teeth.
Chris Ryan
Right. And then you already pointed out Tucker, Norm's long game is just baffling.
Sierra Marquina
Yes. But speaks to Mary's flawed orthopedic surgery career.
Craig Robeck
Right.
Bill Simmons
Sequel, prequel, prestige. To be all black cast or untouchable? I think it's untouchable. Is this movie better when you sure
Chris Ryan
you don't want to do all black cast?
Bill Simmons
I think it's an untouchable. Is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Fergie the Florist, Zane Lowe, Robert Evans, Ryan Ruko or somebody else?
Sierra Marquina
I definitely think that there, there was some space here for Fergie because of, because of the New England thing.
Bill Simmons
What do you got?
Sierra Marquina
And it's just like Fergie being like, you're gonna do this for me. You're gonna go down to Miami and find this Mary or I'm gonna clip ya.
Bill Simmons
Fergie.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah,
Chris Ryan
Fergie is. Fergie is.
Sierra Marquina
I don't think I can handle Fergie as wokey. Fergie the Florist. Watching Cops is not okay.
Bill Simmons
You don't want to do Robert Evans exploring Mary.
Sierra Marquina
When did Robert Evans come back?
Bill Simmons
Robert Evans is back. I don't know if you want to do it.
Sierra Marquina
Robert Evans. Robert Loggia.
Bill Simmons
Robert Evans.
Chris Ryan
Was Robert Evans ever in the mix here?
Bill Simmons
I don't know. I. I just thought we'd throw him in. Married the kind of legs that could stop a room.
Sierra Marquina
She had Nelly Corda's golf swing.
Bill Simmons
She loved meat on a stick, and she could hit a three iron 190 yards.
Sierra Marquina
Where did Robert.
Bill Simmons
I introduced her to Steve McQueen and I never saw either of them again.
Sierra Marquina
I introduced her to Brett Favre. She was living in Green Bay this time next year.
Bill Simmons
Brett Favre never won another game that year. Just one Oscar. Who gets it? You'd go, Dylan.
Chris Ryan
Yeah, I'm going the prop master.
Bill Simmons
Oh, I'll go the script.
Chris Ryan
We got Puffy, we got Loeb.
Sierra Marquina
Come.
Chris Ryan
You know.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah.
Bill Simmons
Probably unanswerable questions. What replaced rest areas as the bath houses of the 90s for the next three decades?
Sierra Marquina
That's a great question, Bill.
Bill Simmons
What were the zero zeros?
Sierra Marquina
I don't know how to answer that. I'm not sure I know.
Bill Simmons
Yeah, I don't really know either. My question was I think Tinder hopped in there.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah. I think online. Like swipe left swipe or swipe right or.
Bill Simmons
Yeah, one of those. Swipe. Yeah, that's2010.
Sierra Marquina
What's the podcast equivalent of emptying the baby batter before the date? It's like. Is that like when I do the watch before the rewatch, before we recorded.
Chris Ryan
Bill's like, you guys fresh? You done any pods today? Don't want to be all used up trying to squeeze a second one out.
Bill Simmons
Well, I had Zach last night. We recorded most of the podcasts, but then we did the top up late night and he's like groggy and half asleep. And it's the best version of Zach.
Sierra Marquina
I think you guys were talking about IO and he's just like, I don't know what the to do there.
Bill Simmons
I love groggy Zach. Did Ted and Mary get married?
Sierra Marquina
I think they date for like six weeks and break up.
Bill Simmons
Yeah. Because he's. He can't carry this.
Chris Ryan
What do you mean?
Bill Simmons
No, she's. She's like marrying Ronnie.
Sierra Marquina
I also think she. He gets nuked by. We didn't talk about this. By Sarah Silverman and Katie Alexander. I don't think he lasts five seconds with them.
Bill Simmons
Oh, true. We forgot to mention them. They had two very stereotypical 90s Rom com comedy girls hanging out scenes. Yeah, this is my big one. How did this movie not have a sequel?
Chris Ryan
I assume they had a chance to do it.
Sierra Marquina
This is just good thinking. This is like, I like, let's not fuck with this. Like a sequel, a bad sequel. This movie screws up the integrity of this movie.
Bill Simmons
All right, you're saying that rationally.
Sierra Marquina
I'm surprised too.
Bill Simmons
Somebody that is treating the movie industry like something that's not gonna bastardize good IP the moment they feel like they sniff some dollar signs. It's crazy to me. Ben Stiller is a much bigger star. Cameron Diaz is a much bigger star. After this movie. The Farrelly brothers probably needed some sort of comeback thingy in the around 20056 range, and they never thought about doing a sequel.
Chris Ryan
It's crazy. They did a sequel to Dumb and Dumber. They did the Three Stooges movie. They remade the Heartbreak Kids. So it's not like they were above this kind of thing.
Bill Simmons
I just thought it's the all time layup. I can't believe they didn't do it.
Sierra Marquina
I don't think that there's anything happens till now to the idea. So they basically. This movie comes out in 98. They essentially need to make this movie before 08 to get it under the social media wire. Because after that it's just like, yeah, I know what Mary's doing. I look at her on Facebook.
Bill Simmons
Facebook, right.
Sierra Marquina
And so like, there's only like a small window to kind of pull off that premise.
Chris Ryan
Cameron Diaz is only 53. I mean, you could easily. We're getting a spaceball sequel.
Bill Simmons
Well, we're getting the Meet the Fockers grandkids movie, right?
Chris Ryan
Yeah.
Sierra Marquina
Oh, that's. Yeah, that's right.
Chris Ryan
Meet Focker in Law.
Bill Simmons
Fokker in law. The secret handshake memorabilia you'd want from this movie. I have a great one for this, but you got it.
Sierra Marquina
Mary's signature golf bag.
Chris Ryan
Oh, Warren's earmuffs.
Bill Simmons
That's really good.
Sierra Marquina
The headphones, right. Ear muffs too.
Chris Ryan
He has the red earmuffs. Yeah.
Bill Simmons
This is what Peter said about the hair gel. Somebody hired a guy to make different loads. He showed up with a leather briefcase, like a businessman that had 30 or 40 loads in it. We called Ben over and would hold one up at a time, like an earring. People would say, no, too small. Hmm. Kind of lumpy. That's how we decided. Afterwards, we never saw the crew member again. He shed his briefcase and left. We were laughing like, who is that guy and how does he have that job? I'd want the briefcase.
Sierra Marquina
The briefcase full of loads.
Chris Ryan
You want the loads in the briefcase?
Bill Simmons
I want the whole package.
Sierra Marquina
I want everything they've probably like calcified since 1980.
Craig Robeck
What's.
Chris Ryan
What's some everyday use for the loads for you?
Bill Simmons
What do you people come over like, hey, do you like something about Mary? Have you seen my load case? Floyd Gondoli butter mass lollipops of my mouth award for something. I just enjoy a load case.
Sierra Marquina
I like a movie where everybody has a job but nobody works. So, like, Cameron Diaz is an orthopedic surgeon, but spends the day hanging out at the driving range. Ben Stiller apparently has just umpteenth amounts of. Of PTO to like stalk his ex girlfriend. I don't want to spend a lot of time working with these guys.
Chris Ryan
I love when a movie introduces a character who seems completely ancillary and incidental and turns out to be the psychopath at the center of the movie. The Woogie reveal in theaters, Right? This is pretty great double feature.
Sierra Marquina
I would go kingpin just to get the Farrelly brothers oeuvre.
Chris Ryan
I said American Pie. That just held us down. Two summers, two Julys in a row.
Sierra Marquina
What do you have?
Bill Simmons
Dumb and Dumber. Let's just laugh for three and a half hours. Who won the movie?
Sierra Marquina
I know it's the Farrelly brothers, but it's Dylan. Interesting for this viewing.
Bill Simmons
So there's four candidates for this, and I actually think the answer is Ben Stiller because he goes from I didn't know you could be the lead of a comedy to then ripping off 11 straight years of comedies. And it's because of this movie. And I don't know if it happens without this movie.
Sierra Marquina
Are you the deciding voter or do you have a third option?
Chris Ryan
I think it's Cameron Diaz.
Sierra Marquina
There you go.
Chris Ryan
I think there's a really good case for both of them. I think Matt Dillon's the funniest part of the movie. I think Ben Stiller goes on to the greatest amount of success in the movie. But it's Cameron Diaz on the poster. It's Cameron Diaz's movie. Her character's name in the title. This is the thing that catapults her.
Bill Simmons
I thought about her, but I feel like she's gonna win the next 15 years anyway.
Chris Ryan
I'll tell you what else I was thinking about.
Bill Simmons
I don't know if Ben Stiller WINS the next 15 years.
Chris Ryan
She never been nominated for an Oscar. Not really remembered.
Sierra Marquina
Has she ever done any Oscar beat?
Chris Ryan
Yeah, Gangs of New York and Being John Malkovich. She was nominated for a Globe for Being John Malkovich. And she's been nominated for awards before, but never kind of got to that mountaintop.
Bill Simmons
The Anna Faris thing felt like that was bad for a little bit.
Chris Ryan
Yeah, that was a shot. What was the Aaron Faris thing in Lost in Translation?
Sierra Marquina
Oh, yeah.
Craig Robeck
She got a Globe nom for something
Chris Ryan
by Mary for this? Yes.
Bill Simmons
And now it's time we go to Craig for his take on the movie.
Sierra Marquina
You'd say we didn't decide who won the movie. Who do you think won the movie?
Craig Robeck
I think in the moment it's Cameron Diaz, but I think if you watch the movie now, it's Matt Dillon because going back, you're just so surprised at how funny he is. And I can't believe that he didn't go on to do more comedy.
Bill Simmons
Well, this is a little Apex Mountain Y because it's like, who Won the movie is different than who won the movie.
Chris Ryan
Right, right.
Sierra Marquina
Like there's the best part of the movie and the person who benefited most
Bill Simmons
from it, which I think if you're doing that, I think it's Ben Stiller. It's Stiller.
Craig Robeck
But when you walked out of the movie in 1998, probably Diaz being like, wow, who is that?
Sierra Marquina
Yeah.
Bill Simmons
Well, also the Farrelly brothers. I would have been like, give me season tickets now. I'm with you guys.
Chris Ryan
Where do you stand on the, like the run after this? Me, Myself and Irene, Shallow Halloween, Hall Pass, all those movies.
Bill Simmons
I didn't like Shallow Hal. I did not like. What was the other one?
Chris Ryan
Me, myself and Irene.
Bill Simmons
No, me, myself and Irene carried his peak. Like, that was worse than theater. Shallow how? And stuck on you. I wanted to like stuck on you. It just didn't work. Yeah, Just didn't happen. And then Fever Pitch is in a front.
Sierra Marquina
I still like Fever Pitch.
Chris Ryan
You do?
Bill Simmons
Yeah, it's fine.
Craig Robeck
I like it too.
Bill Simmons
To Craig, what was your take?
Craig Robeck
I love this movie. The script is just really impressive. Like the amount of callbacks that they're able to weave back into the story, like there is no stone left unturned. It's really impressive. Like every little mention, her having an ex boyfriend named Brett, everything ties up in a really. Yeah. In a really, really impressive way. It's just a great set piece comedy. And I think, I think the. I think there was a, A, A sweet spot for set piece comedies. And I think CGI kind of ruined them. Where I think when you have to live in like the reality of what you're literally physically able to do while shooting a movie, I think set pieces were just way funnier because it was like real humans doing real stuff. And this is like a perfect sweet spot with that. And then once you get got past certain like 2010s, there was like way more CGI and things and the humor to me felt more like artificial.
Sierra Marquina
Yeah. When Warren beats up Ted, it's real. It would be so fake now.
Craig Robeck
Yes.
Bill Simmons
Yeah. And I think Stewart looks like he took those bumps.
Sierra Marquina
But they would do it the way they do. Like those fake, like those John Wick movies, like Bob Odenkirk action movies where it's like, oh, I'm flying through the window.
Craig Robeck
And it was because they always think bigger is better. And then with CGI you can go huge. But I actually think it takes away some of the humanity of it. And so this movie is within like a 10, 15 year sweet spot of all the set piece Comedies, in my opinion.
Bill Simmons
I forgot to mention, I like when they try on the outfits and, oh yeah, Warren's dressed as like a cowboy and then Ben Stiller comes out with a pink superhero outfit.
Craig Robeck
Also, a driving range on the water is like the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life. Or how many of those are for
Sierra Marquina
the body of water?
Craig Robeck
Why isn't there one of those in la?
Sierra Marquina
I bet there is somewhere in the valley.
Chris Ryan
So that's the idea that you've got a underwater ball scooper.
Bill Simmons
I guess it would only improve the water. Or there's a guy in a boat
Craig Robeck
out there just like there is, you know.
Bill Simmons
Cr. Phil, it was a pleasure.
Sierra Marquina
It was a pleasure. Yeah.
Bill Simmons
I'm sorry you didn't like my idea of having the suitcase of all the stunt cum loads.
Sierra Marquina
I just wanted to know what you were gonna do with it. Like, I think it would be if you did a series, you'd look at it.
Bill Simmons
If I had it in the house,
Sierra Marquina
I would check it out. I would be like, how could we. How can we ruin Ben's night with this?
Bill Simmons
I love that they had made 30 of them. I'm just so fascinated by this.
Craig Robeck
I'd be good, like Halloween, handing those out.
Bill Simmons
Yeah.
Sierra Marquina
Do you think the guy who made the loads has, like, had a good job? Do you think he is? Do you think.
Bill Simmons
I think he. He said he was in props, but now I think probably about 2007. Probably moved back to wherever he came from. From. It was like, I'm moving back to New Jersey.
Chris Ryan
Yeah, like into his mom's house.
Sierra Marquina
What do you mean?
Bill Simmons
I just don't think it really probably worked out.
Sierra Marquina
His career as load bearing CGI came in.
Chris Ryan
Yeah, you might say he was load bearing.
Bill Simmons
Sean, new newsletter. Yeah.
Sierra Marquina
Hey.
Chris Ryan
Hey.
Bill Simmons
Hey. Projections.
Chris Ryan
Yeah, that's it.
Bill Simmons
Maybe do like a paragraph about. There's something about Mary.
Sierra Marquina
Oh, that would be nice.
Chris Ryan
I would love to promote this fine podcast.
Sierra Marquina
Hey, thanks. Anything you can do to help us out, that would be great.
Chris Ryan
Yeah, you gotta pump those numbers out, you know.
Bill Simmons
Thanks for your help. Thanks to Craig Robeck as well. Thanks to Gahal and Eduardo as well. Thanks to Louis K. For hanging out with me for the first time in two years.
Sierra Marquina
That was big of him.
Bill Simmons
Yeah, that was nice of him. And we'll see you. We're doing all comedies this month, so we'll see you. Not sure what the comedy's gonna be next week, but we'll see you next.
Advertisement Voice
Foreign.
Chris Ryan
You can't reason with the sun.
Bill Simmons
Trust us, we've tried this summer, it's
Chris Ryan
time to put that angry ball of fire on mute. Columbia's Omnishade technology is engineered to protect
Sierra Marquina
you from the sun's harsh rays that
Bill Simmons
can burn and damage your skin. The sun is relentless, but so is our gear.
Chris Ryan
Level up your summer@columbia.com to spend more
Sierra Marquina
time outside and less time slack lathering on aloe lotion.
Chris Ryan
You're welcome, Columbia. Engineered for whatever.
Air date: May 5, 2026
Hosts: Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, Sean Fennessey, Sierra Marquina, Craig Robeck
Theme: Revisiting the 1998 comedy classic, breaking down its enduring laughs, structure, performances, and cultural impact
This episode of The Rewatchables spotlights the Farrelly Brothers’ raunch-com masterpiece, There’s Something About Mary. Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, Sean Fennessey, Sierra Marquina, and Craig Robeck reminisce about their first time seeing it in theaters, dissect what makes the movie so rewatchable, debate its place among the greatest comedies, and discuss how its humor, performances, and reputation have aged over the last quarter-century.
Unmatched Theater Laughter:
R Auditorium Comedy:
Script and Construction:
Memorable Set Pieces:
Comedic Peaks of the 1990s:
Ben Stiller's Evolution:
Cameron Diaz as the "Perfect Girl":
Matt Dillon’s Iconic Scumbag Role:
Supporting Cast & Scene-Stealers:
Why Doesn’t Mary Get Rewatched Like Lebowski?
Casting & Representation:
(Most scenes are discussed with enthusiasm; select highlights w/ timestamps)
Prom Scene/Zipper Accident (40:19–42:19)
Richard Jenkins Therapy Session (42:26–43:20)
Healy Meets Mary—Golf Scene (43:41–47:19)
Dog Fight Scenes in Mary's Apartment (48:22–48:42)
7 Minute Abs (Hitchhiker) Scene (44:51–45:24)
Infamous “Hair Gel” Sequence (45:59–46:18)
Deserved Oscars?
What Has Aged Best / Worst?
Best “That Guy,” Cameo, & Dion Waiters Award
Casting What-Ifs
Rewatchability and Set-Piece Comedy
Bill: “Hardest I’ve ever laughed in a movie theater. Mount Rushmore: Naked Gun, There’s Something About Mary, The Hangover, Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs…” (03:11)
Chris Ryan: “Ben Stiller is the greatest cuck actor of all time…The whole premise of the movie is this guy is a loser and will lose all the way until the end and then get the girl.” (74:25)
"She loves beer… really want to dive into this, loves football… 85, she’s in on the Niners early, smells the dinners…” (19:36–19:50)
“Rest areas are the bathhouses of the 90s.” — Richard Jenkins (42:42)
“How did this movie NOT have a sequel?” (99:51)
“Did Ted and Mary get married?”
There’s Something About Mary sits in that sweet spot in American comedy where outrageous, memorable set pieces and endearing character work meet smart structure and unfiltered bad taste. The hosts revisit not just its funniest moments but its impact on comedy, the rise of Ben Stiller and Cameron Diaz, the changing cultural context, and the nostalgia for gut-busting, envelope-pushing crowd comedies. As Bill puts it: “You can't have a comedy do better than this. I don't think this movie was an absolute comedy phenomenon that made a ton of money and either created stars or made stars bigger.” (87:36)
(For brevity, sponsor spots, intros, and outros are omitted as requested.)