12 Lessons From the 2025 Fantasy Season, Olympic Crotchmaxxing, and Clavicular Part 2

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Ringer Fantasy Football Show

Episode: 12 Lessons From the 2025 Fantasy Season, Olympic Crotchmaxxing, and Clavicular Part 2
Date: February 12, 2026
Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, Craig Horlbeck

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Episode Overview

This episode is a reflective "manifesto" for fantasy football managers, where Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck revisit their biggest lessons from the 2025 fantasy season. Using the "Memento tattoo" metaphor—a nod to the movie where key lessons are tattooed so as not to forget—the hosts build a time capsule of rules, insights, and hard-won wisdom for 2026 fantasy drafts. The show mixes seasoned strategy ("kingmaker" offenses, trusting your convictions, buy the dip) with trademark humor and ventures into listener questions about Olympic crotchmaxxing and Gen Z internet slang.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The ‘Memento Tattoo’ Concept (Main Theme: Lessons That Must Be Remembered)

• Timestamp: 02:20–03:19
  • The hosts frame this as an annual tradition where they codify enduring fantasy commandments, comparing it to the film Memento: "We're going to actually keep track of things we want to remember. It's our little time capsule that we will reopen next August." (Danny Heifetz, 02:09)

2. Tattoo #1: Draft Elite Players in Elite Offenses—Identify ‘Kingmakers’

• Timestamp: 04:18–11:20
  • “The number one thing...across your back, block lettering: DRAFT ELITE PLAYERS IN ELITE OFFENSES...Identify kingmakers. Don’t overthink this.” (Heifetz, 04:18)
  • Trust offenses with proven, creative coaches and "kingmaker" systems (2025 examples: Rams with Sean McVay, 49ers under Shanahan, Bears with Ben Johnson, Jags with Liam Coen).
  • Caution: QB + playcaller + team context matter for repeatable fantasy production. Talent alone not enough.
  • Notable success stories: Matthew Stafford (MVP), Puka Nacua, Kyren Williams, Colby Parkinson.

3. Tattoo #2: Take the Guys You Want

• Timestamp: 17:20–21:32
  • “It sounds simple, but it bears repeating: take the guys you want...Half emotional, half practical.” (Craig, 17:20)
  • In early rounds, prioritize personal preference and conviction over marginal value or consensus. It’s your team—draft who sparks joy, and the fantasy ride is more enjoyable.

4. Tattoo #3: Avoid Toxic People (aka 'Do Not Trust Certain Coaches')

• Timestamp: 21:22–25:44
  • “I'm expanding this list: I don't want to be shackled to the whims of volatile coaches.” (Danny Kelly, 21:33)
  • Per Kenny: Avoid certain coaching archetypes who consistently frustrate fantasy managers—e.g., Kyle Shanahan, Sean Payton, Matt LaFleur.
  • These teams often have inconsistent usage and week-to-week unpredictability, making lineup calls a nightmare.

5. Tattoo #4: Get You a Man Who Can Do Both—Quarterbacks Who Can Run and Pass

• Timestamp: 26:43–34:52
  • “There were 9 quarterbacks with 4+ rushing TDs and 14 with >3 rushing fantasy points per game—it’s not special anymore.” (Craig, 26:49)
  • The value of rushing QBs is well-established, but the market has caught up; “late-round QB” is back, as more QBs add rushing to their arsenal.
  • You don’t need an elite rusher, but don’t punt the category altogether.

6. Tattoo #5: Ride With the Wild Hogs—Don’t Fear Old Guys (until you see the cliff)

• Timestamp: 35:07–37:13
  • “It’s so much harder to displace an entrenched veteran than people think.” (Kelly, 35:37)
  • Fade the age cliff paranoia: If there’s no physical or usage drop-off, don’t downgrade just due to scary numbers (e.g., Mike Evans, Derrick Henry, CMC).

7. Tattoo #6: Hold Rookie Receivers ... Usually

• Timestamp: 37:42–39:34
  • “This is the first time in six or seven years where it didn’t pay off...but I think it was an outlier.” (Danny Kelly, 37:51)
  • The longstanding advice to stash rookie WRs for breakout 2nd halves whiffed in 2025, but the crew expects regression to the norm; don’t abandon ship yet.

8. Polaroid Notes—Quick Lessons & Emotional Reminders

• Timestamp: 42:04–53:48

  • Believe Your Eyes

    • “Everyone will try to memory-hole what you saw...I saw Henry dominate in December. I can’t unsee it." (Heifetz, 43:57)
    • Trust your common sense and actual game-watching when consensus drifts.

  • Buy the Dip

    • “Last year you bought the dip on Christian McCaffrey—it worked!” (Heifetz, 51:05)
    • If elite talent endures bad luck or misused context, don’t be afraid to pounce at a discount (Lamar Jackson, Saquon Barkley, Bucky Irving, DJ Moore, Brian Thomas Jr.).

  • Ignore Touchdown Regression as a Rule

    • “I’m gonna do that below my left eye: ignore regression.” (Craig, 65:09)

9. Additional Lessons & Debate Topics

• Context is King (Coaching Changes)

  • “Beware the team that loses their awesome playcaller. It hit Tampa, Detroit, and Philly last year.” (Craig, 68:55)
  • Apply this year to Seattle (no Kubiak), Miami (no McDaniel), etc.

• Old Axioms Dying—Young Tight Ends

  • “The old axiom that young tight ends can’t produce is just dead now.” (Kelly, 71:29)
  • Examples: Harold Fannin, Trey McBride, Colston Loveland.

• Fun Listener Segment: Olympic "Crotchmaxxing" & Clavicular Lingo

  • Timestamp: 75:59–90:32
    • A hilarious breakdown of Olympic ski jumpers “manipulating” their crotch region for aerodynamic advantage (“crotchmaxxing”).
    • Extended discussion of Gen Z meme slang ("clavicular", “moid”, “foid”, “bone smashing”, “jester maxing”)—emails from real teenagers and college students decode how real, meme, or mainstream these ideas are, with the hosts reacting in confusion and amusement.
    • Notable quote: “No one actually watches Clavicular streams...to the rest of the world, Clavicular is just a meme.” (Listener email, 83:09)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Player/Team Selection Simplified:
  • “Whenever you mention a receiver, you have to mention the coach and the quarterback in the sentence, and then you’ll kind of know what you want.” (Heifetz, 17:08)
• On Emotional Draft Decision-Making:
  • “If they don’t spark joy, get rid of them. It’s like Marie Kondo for your fantasy team.” (Heifetz, 19:21)
• On Avoiding Volatile Coaches:
  • "I don’t want to have to be playing whack-a-mole with this offense.” (Kelly, 21:51)
• On the Quarterback Landscape:
  • “Is late-round quarterback back? ... I do think late-round quarterback is kind of back.” (Craig, 28:04, 34:40)
• On Regression and Overthinking:
  • “Ignore regression!” (Craig, 65:09)
• On Olympic Crotchmaxxing
  • “Apparently ski jumpers were injecting their dicks with something to make the surface area bigger, so the wind would catch your crotchal region and ... you get a longer jump.” (Heifetz, 95:23)
• On Clavicular Gen Z Slang:
  • “All the kids who know Clavicular—we just call him Clav...to the rest of the world, Clavicular is just a meme.” (Listener email, 83:09)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Intro & Memento Tattoos Explanation: 02:08–03:19
• Kingmakers & Coaching Context: 04:18–11:00
• ‘Take the Guys You Want’ Philosophy: 17:20–21:32
• Coach/Team Avoid Lists: 21:22–25:44
• QB Strategies & Late-Round Depth: 26:43–34:52
• Old Guys Still Got It: 35:07–37:13
• Rookie WRs & Stashing: 37:42–39:34
• Polaroid Segment—Emotional Lessons: 42:04–53:48
• Olympic Crotchmaxxing & Clavicular Meme Talk: 75:59–90:32

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Overall Tone & Style

The episode is high-energy, irreverent, and filled with the hosts’ signature blend of inside jokes, self-mocking, and honest debate. They balance actionable fantasy advice with playful detours into pop culture and viral internet slang, making the episode insightful for both hardcore fantasy footballers and casual listeners.

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Conclusion

This “time capsule” episode captures the lessons, trends, and emotional realities of managing a fantasy team through a chaotic NFL season. Key rules—focusing on kingmaker offenses, trusting your gut, buying the dip, and not abandoning durable veterans—are balanced against caution on coaching changes, injury risks, and overreacting to one-year outliers. And, fittingly, the hosts close with musings on why fantasy football is so painfully (and wonderfully) dumb, before riffing on the lengths Olympic athletes will go for an extra yard—and just how lost adults can be in the world of Gen Z TikTok slang.

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For More:

• Email your fantasy football questions and off-season curiosities: [e-mail]
• Upcoming: Deep-dives on 2026 rankings, rookie profiles, and more offbeat listener Q&As.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Yeah.

[A]

From this season and then lessons from past seasons and we're going to try to apply them to next year. And it's kind of like our little time capsule that we will reopen next August and see if we can actually learn anything.

[B]

Absolutely. We call it the Memento Tattoo episode. It's based on the movie Memento, which I still have not seen, but I understand the premise completely. I think also it's kind of surprising.

[C]

Because people who've seen the movie don't understand.

[B]

Well, I get. I kind of get the. I get the tattoo part at least.

[A]

Who wants to explain it? Craig or dk? Craig who's seen it, or Dick who has.

[C]

I think DK should give it a.

[A]

Shot the movie you haven't seen.

[B]

He has short term memory loss, so he tattoos himself a bunch. So when he looks in the mirror or when he looks at his body, he sees different little tattoos that give him clues as to things he should do. Don't trust so and so whatever.

[C]

And the movie is. Is shot in. In reverse chronological order. So you're watching the end of the movie first. And every scene that comes after it is the scene that takes place before in real time.

[B]

And when we did our little art house version of that, when we tried to do the podcast backwards one time, it didn't really. Didn't really work that well. We're doing it forward this time. Also, this. This episode is sort of our version of a podcast manifesto, the playoff manifesto for fantasy drafts. Right. Like, we have a bunch of sort of rules, and then we try and remember these rules.

[C]

I'm not sure what I learned this year because I went six and eight in the ringer Fantasy League, as did Mallory Rubin.

[B]

You're burying the lead. You got last place.

[C]

Well, no, I'm not. I'm. I was building to that. I was building suspense and anticipation. My point was, I don't know what I learned because I had the same record as the person who got first.

[A]

So maybe that's the left.

[C]

Fair.

[B]

Fair.

[A]

The. I will say, Kyle, One of our listeners, Kyle K. Bone, made a point to note that in Memento, he not only has tattoos, he has a bunch of Polaroids. The Polaroids are things that he's keeping track of before he locks in what he tattoos. He also carries Polaroids with him and he burns the things that he think are no good, and he tattoos the Polaroids. He doesn't want to forget. So I think that we go through the tattoos and then we go through our Polaroids from this season. We decide which ones we're going to tattoo because ironically, I forgot that about the movie.

[B]

I should watch this fucking movie.

[A]

No, it's funnier that you have it.

[B]

It's better. Okay.

[A]

It is a good movie, though. Christopher Nolan.

[B]

Okay, so we're gonna go Famous director.

[A]

It is. It is incredible how frequently we go back through these and we're like, man, if we had just listened to what we said, we probably would have done great. And starting with the number one tattoo, we have the number one thing. This is from years ago, and it works every year. DK across your. Your. The back, across your back. Just all caps, block lettering. It says, draft elite players in elite offenses. Identify kingmakers. Don't overthink this this is the rule.

[B]

I think that is the most universal and evergreen for me. Like I want to think about this every draft. I want to think about this with almost every pick. Obviously you can't just only take players in the what you're going to think are the good offenses but for the most part, especially early on in your draft, find the players that are going to be in the best offenses in the NFL. Sometimes it's obvious, usually it's obvious, sometimes there's less obvious ones and you just have to kind of be able to predict it. But the kingmakers thing is the key to me for this. Like Sean McVay is the reigning kingmaker. He is the lord of all lords. He is just kind of the guy that every year his main skill players, he trusts a certain amount of guys and those guys get all of the volume. So you know, for obviously Stafford had a huge year this year. I think he was very underrated for injury related reasons coming into the season, I think. But obviously he did really well this season.

[A]

They parked an air, they parked a airbus tube thing in the Rams parking lot and turned out after they tried to trade him turned out to be.

[B]

A little bit of a huge red herring. He won the MVP award.

[C]

We'll get into that later because there is a lesson or perhaps not a.

[B]

Lesson in there, but obviously Puka Nakua, the number one receiver, Devonte Adams led the NFL in, in touchdowns. Matt Stafford was a great pick, like I said, Karen Williams, Blake Corum, corum. And he started being used more in the late part of the season. So Kyron, I don't think he's quite as rock solid for next year. But you know, just coming down the line then Colby Parkinson was really good down the stretch. You could get value out of him. He actually scored more fantasy points. I was shocked to hear this. He scored more fantasy points than Mark Andrews, Dalton Kincaid, TJ Hawkinson and Evan Ingram. Colby Parkinson. So I think that that little just identify the kingmakers thing is so important. We'll go through some of the other guys that became kingmakers or we think are kingmakers in this segment but I think that's the big thing is find the offenses that you, you really trust the play callers really.

[A]

And well, sorry, you go Craig.

[C]

I was just going to say I feel like right now the top of the mountain, the top of the pyramid is McVay, maybe Shanahan when the players are healthy, usually anyone in that offense. I mean we saw Kendrick Bourne take off for like a month and then after that I Feel like there is this, this next level below the tip of the pyramid where you have guys like Ben Johnson in his first year in Chicago. You have Liam Cohen in his first year in Jacksonville where things went well and there were guys like ETN and like Breton. Strange was pretty good that you kind of didn't expect. I feel like those are the guys who are probably the teams that we in the off season are going to say we want to identify and we want to double down on. But I would say at the top of the pyramid, I mean, there are. There are great combinations of quarterbacks and receivers like Dak Prescott with CD Lam and now Pickens. You have obviously Burrow with Chase and Higgins. But dk, who is at the top of the pyramid, to you, like you mentioned, McVay, I would say Shanahan. Is there. Are there any other, like, bankable kingmakers that, that you feel like every year you can depend on?

[B]

No. I think for me, Shanahan, or, sorry, McVeigh stands above the rest. I have a complicated relationship with Shanahan.

[C]

Because one of your tattoos, which I have you rubbed it off.

[B]

Have you tried to like knock it out there? I'm like filling in around it because I'm not really sure exactly how much I like it anymore.

[A]

Say for those who are a little.

[B]

Rusty, Kyle Shanahan killed your wife. I think. What is it? I can't remember.

[A]

The Shanahan killed my family. We have Kyle, all the Kyle's. Kyle Pitts and Kyle Shannon killed my.

[C]

Family because it's like. And then even though Brock Purdy or Mac Jones is great, whenever they're playing quarterback, random wide receivers pop off. McCaffrey was the number one player in fantasy this year, so Kittle was really good. So have you. What's going on? Shanahan's not next to McVay for you?

[B]

No. Well, here's how. So look, if we were. If I was telling you this rule last year, I want to kind of like look back at what happened this season and identify some of the opportunities that were there and some of the misses maybe that we had. For me, the big, really obvious opportunity that we maybe missed out on a little bit. I mean, I think we were excited about the Bears offense, but Ben Johnson, I think that one could have been obvious coming into the season. I think next year people are going to be really high on a lot of the Bears players.

[C]

The players were just very young. Like, I feel like we knew Ben Johnson was a good play caller, but Caleb looked fucking terrible the year before and Then he had a bunch of burden and Loveland and DJ Moore and Roman. We didn't really. And the one guy we bet on, Roma Dunes, was the one who probably was the biggest flop. But we didn't exactly know who was the good player on the teams yet.

[B]

Yeah, and I think that was why we kind of balked at it a little bit. But I mean, looking at it now, Caleb Williams was the QB8. DeAndre Swift was the RB16. I think he was very useful this season. Colston Loveland, who was a top 10 pick at tight end, he was the tight end 12 overall in points, but from week nine on. So basically the second half of the season, he was the tight end. Four.

[A]

Yeah. Colston Loveland.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

Five. Unplayable. Like unrosterable for the first half of the season. If you played him, you probably missed the playoffs. But then if you added him when someone cut him cold in Loveland probably helped you. And.

[C]

And it's the reverse for Roma. Dunze, who was fantastic for like six weeks and he hurt his foot.

[A]

Well, he's on the list of guys that we have to revisit where part of I actually. We'll talk about him later in the episode.

[B]

But yeah, so. So Ben Johnson was the big one. And look, this is. This goes to how great last year's coaching carousel was. Ben Johnson, I think, was a good opportunity to get in before everyone on the team gets too expensive. Some. Some people might have got on that train. Some people might have balked at it. Liam Cohen is the other one for the Jags. I mean, Trevor Lawrence was a QB5 this year in fantasy. That was a massive opportunity. Travis etienne was the RB13, as you mentioned. Craig Breton. Strange was the tight end nine. He was useful.

[C]

But then the elephant in the room is the one guy you felt the best about. Top 10 pick. Terrible.

[B]

Brian Thomas Jr. Was a total dud. And so look, obviously this is a rule, but this doesn't mean we're going to be right every single time. I think, to me, this is just a way of looking at the NFL as a whole when you're going into your fantasy drafts and trying to identify what teams are undervalued. Right. And so this next season I'm going to be kind of. You're going to be all over this too. But like the chargers with Mike McDaniel is kind of the team, I think I'm going to be circling on a lot of drafts. I think Omarion Hampton is going to be one of my highest drafted players, assuming he can Stay healthy all off season. You know, there's, there's a lot of guys in that offense that I'm excited about. And so I think lad McConkey, as much as you guys hate on him, I'm going to be drafting him.

[A]

A lot hate on him.

[B]

I don't know. And obviously we all love Lad.

[C]

I like Lad. He was disappointing this year.

[B]

Well, I don't know what else.

[A]

Greg was upset. I, look, I, I think he's very good. I think the point you're making, I, I agree with everything you guys are saying and I think I would. I, I actually there's. This is our number one thing for a reason and I actually think we can double down on it. Like the Kingmakers thing. Stafford, I, I don't even know where to begin, but I mean, I guess we'll start with the obvious. So sometimes when we say don't overthink it. Matt Stafford now is responsible for how many of the top 10 fantasy receiver seasons ever. It's like Calvin Johnson, Cooper cup, winning a triple Crown, Puka Nukua last year.

[C]

Players on good teams. Is the appropriate first tattoo that should be the biggest on your chest. Actually, can we talk about what's the opposite of this? Like, I wonder if anyone's listening. Being like this is so obvious. Is there a player that doesn't fit this mold that you could take in the top two rounds? Like, that would be the example of disobeying this tattoo.

[A]

I will tell you guys right now, I think if you look at coaching, coaching is just good. Coaches do make more with less. And I think when you look at bad coaching, my question for you guys, as I was doing my rankings, the next episode we're going to do after this, it's going to be like Our blind top 20 or top 10 rankings our first round. The player I kept staring at was Trey McBride for the Cardinals, who was the number one tight end by a mile. And it's not a question of whether he's a top tight end, just where do you take him? And I kept thinking, you know, that was a perfect storm to get Trey McBride at like, I mean, the Cardinals, Jacoby Brissette broke the record for completions in a game. There's all these reasons that, like the past attempts to come down. But the coordinator that the Cardinals hired this year is Nate Hackett, who he's going to run the Cardinals offense. And I'm kind of looking at this and I think the Cardinals and picking a Cardinals offense sticks out like a sore thumb. We don't Know who the quarterback's going to be? I. That's the guy where I'm like, would you rather have. Honestly, if you forget, like, this fear of us putting out rankings, that would have Brock bowers over Trey McBride? Part of me is like, would you actually rather have Brock Bowers now that Clint Kubiak's running the Raiders offense and Medills will be the quarterback? Or do you want Trey McBride when Nate Hackett's the coordinator?

[B]

Yeah, I think Michael Fleur is going to be calling plays for the record. But still, the point stands that there's a lot of uncertainty there. Are these guys actually kingmakers. Are we just, like, looking at his name?

[C]

Well, yeah. I mean, new coach, new play caller, new quarterback is. There's a lot going on there. I think looking back at 20, 25, maybe a player who disobeys this tattoo and I took this player, but I. In the fantasy league, in the ringer fantasy league, is Ashton Genti, who.

[B]

Yeah, that was when I was circling to who.

[C]

It's basically saying, like, what this tattoo is really saying is, like, don't just bet on raw talent. I guess, like, consider the context around the raw talent. Genti is obviously very good, and I even think he proved this year he's very good. But new coach and Pete Caro, Chip Kelly back in the NFL for the first time in a decade, you have Geno Smith coming to a new team. The offensive line was terrible. All that was was all those question marks. Even if you like Pete Carroll, even if you thought you were confident about Chip Kelly, they are question marks, much more so than what, you know, Kyle Shanahan is going to bring you. And so taking a guy like Genty over McCaffrey, even if you think Genty's really good, the baked in, you know, reliability that Shanahan offers you, you just. You literally can't know it for Vegas. And so I think that's what you kind of have to do in the first two rounds is like, what do I know is true and what do I not know is true?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. The other. The other example, I think that's a good one here. And I don't know if it was super obvious in retrospect. We did talk about it quite a bit, but Justin Jefferson being like a top five pick in fantasy last year.

[C]

I was low on him for this exact reason last year, in this episode.

[A]

Last year, we literally discussed, if they let Darnold go, why would you take Jefferson in the first round? Like, well, he's just.

[B]

We were right here's the deal. You could talk yourself into that situation in Koc. Kevin OConnell being a kingmaker. I could. I, I feel like I could have talked myself into that. He what he Josh Dobbs for a little bit for Nick Mullins, whoever. Who are the other guys he started over the last couple of years, you know Kirk Cousins. I think I kind of talked myself into the idea that it didn't matter what quarterback was in like under center for them. Obviously that turned out to be horrifically wrong. Justin Jefferson was one of the worst picks obviously all season. And so in terms of at least the very, very high picks. And so I think it does have the quarterback does matter a lot. It's not just the play caller, it's the situation where we know this team is going to be high flying, high octane, high efficiency, scoring a lot of points. I think the other guy that's going to be interesting this year is Malik Neighbors elite player, exciting young quarterback and Jackson Dart. But there's a lot of question marks with what's going on with not only his health, not only Malik neighbors health, but what's the type of offense they're going to run in New York. And I don't really, you know, it's just one of those things where I'm not going to bank on it being good. Matt Nagy, like what has he done over the last few years with the Chiefs offense? Their Chiefs offense has been hard watch the last couple of years the Giants.

[A]

I don't want to talk too much about the Giants because I think I'll bring them up a lot. I, I mean they have an overqualified staff. Matt Nag is offensive coordinator and then Brian Callan is going to be the quarterback coach which say what you want about Brian Callan's timeouts or you know, special teams as the head coach. Brian Callan's pretty overqualified to be a quarterbacks coach at this point so I'm, I'm happy about it. But I agree DK like neighbors. There's a lot of questions but I think overall it sounds obvious but what we're saying is when in doubt, guys with coaches who's clearly put players in positions to succeed are the guys you want.

[B]

So I think another version of this from last year, not to linger too long on this but Brian Schottenheimer, I went kind of hard on the Cowboys. I just felt like Schottenheimer was going to make them give them an offense that was high flying, high scoring, push the ball down the field and with the disparity between Ceedee and Pickens and the next closest receiver on that team. I was like, these guys are going to get force fed. And both those guys were very valuable in fantasy. So Schottenheimer is kind of another interesting, I think, example. Obviously, he had Dak Prescott coming back, so I was confident in that.

[C]

It's kind of like when you get in your car and you, like, buckle your seatbelt, you check your side mirrors, and you check your front mirror and then you go. It's kind of the same thing in the first two rounds where it's like, who is the plate caller, who is the quarterback, and who is the head coach?

[A]

This is. I might make the rule for next year. Every time you mention a receiver, you have to mention the coach and the quarterback sentence, and then you'll kind of know what you want. Next one here. The next tattoo. We have Craig.

[C]

Yeah. It is take the guys you want. And I know that sounds very simple, but it bears repeating. I have it tattooed on my, like, lower neck right here. So even when I wear a shirt, I can still see it.

[B]

No regrets.

[C]

Yeah, right there. It. This is half emotional and half practical. It. It's doubly worse when you don't take a guy you want and then he ends up sucking. That's like the worst situation in fantasy football is like, I didn't want Malik neighbors, and then he tore his. That's just terrible. And so, like, guys who I like, like, I love a Monroe St. Brown. I always want a Monroe St. Brown. And if you're between a guy like him or Malik neighbors, and maybe the rankings say one thing. Just take the guy you want, Take the guy you like. Take the guy you want to root for on the team you want to root for. Like, if you have to split hairs, picking the guy you want just makes the entire experience more enjoyable.

[B]

Is this sort of is the opposite of this or the inverse of this? I guess don't just take a guy because he's a quote unquote value at where you're drafting.

[C]

And I want to be specific because that really only applies to the first three rounds, this rule, because later in drafts, it starts to turn into. Actually, you should take these boring guys that are left behind, like, high. Fitz took Michael Pittman in the ring or fantasy draft because nobody wanted him. Even Jonathan Taylor hyperts because nobody wanted him. But, like, the first two rounds, then I think you should take the guys you want because everybody is quote unquote, good. High conviction when you're in round 10 and it's like, man, nobody wants Michael Pitman. I don't like Michael Pitman either. I think you then have to start reevaluating, like, value. But in the first two rounds, take the guys you want, because if it doesn't work out, it'll hurt that much more.

[A]

Yeah, the. I totally agree with everything Craig's saying. I. I remember I really changed my mind on this. My friend Brian, a couple years ago, Ricky Bebone, Ricky Peris, he had Ricky Piercel on his bench. This is Ricky Piercel's first year. He had gotten shot earlier in the season. He came back, but, like, he wasn't doing anything. It was just amazing. He was still playing. And I was like, why do you have Ricky Parisl on your team? And he's like, I like him. He makes me happy.

[B]

And all right.

[A]

And I was like, that's good enough, man. That. Isn't that the point? And he talked about Marie Kondo, and he was like, I. Marie Kondo, my fantasy team, it's like, if they don't spark joy, get rid of them. And it's such a simple way to live. And I. Ever since then, I'm like, yeah, it's. It's. It's not an entire way to rank players, but it's more than a tiebreaker. And I have my guys that bring me happiness, but that's not the point. I think people need. You need to find your list of who makes you happy. For me, it's random. It's like. And I can go through them. It's like, Cam Scatter makes me happy. I don't know if Cam Scatter is a good player this year. He had a bad leg break. He'll probably need a full year to recover. I don't know. But I like Cam Scaboo more than you do. And Cam Scatter can be bad. And sit in my bench and I'll open my little app and be like, God, I love this guy. And, like, that is important. And knowing who you actually like. Craig mentioned a Monroe. I love a Monroe. Like, Derek Henry just makes me happy. Like, Ricky. Ricky Paris. And, like, just know who makes you happy. And you don't have to explain yourself. It's fake. It's a dumb, fake team. You're probably going to lose. The players who make you happy should be.

[C]

It's also funny when sometimes, you know, like, I kind of just fell into Jackson, Smith and Jigba in my home league last year. I just kind of took them, and now I'm. I'm in a committed relationship with him. And I will do everything I can to draft him every year. So sometimes it comes out of nowhere. And then there's other times when you take a guy you think you like, Drake London, and it doesn't go well, and then you have to reevaluate. So that's eight.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you ghost him, and that's okay.

[C]

It's all right. Keep dating, keep trying.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Get out there, keep swiping.

[A]

You find the right person. Dude, my brother had Derek Henry six years in a row because he had Derek Henry the first. First year he became Derek Henry. My brother's like, well, I'll never not do this ever again. You know what? Turned out pretty good.

[B]

Every league has those where it's just the same guy or one guy has the same guy every year.

[C]

You know, even in, like, auction leagues. Like, I have a buddy in my home league who always drafts Jameer Gibbs.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And it's annoying, and he always overspends, but then it always, like, no one remembers that he spent five more dollars than he should have on Jameer Gibbs. And then it's like, week eight, and Jameer Gibbs is crushing it, and everyone's jealous.

[A]

Like, you had $7 over the suggested value. No one gives a shit. He has Jameer Gibbs. This flip side of this one is the avoid toxic people. This is DK's. Don't trust Kyle Shanahan or shocking yourself to the whims of Sean Payton.

[B]

And, yeah, I'm expanding this list, by the way, so. So the player, the coaches that I just. And look, it's not a hard. I don't follow this 100%. To be clear, Christian McCaffrey is the biggest sort of outlier in this whole thing. If Christian McCaffrey's there, I'll probably still take him this year, but he's like.

[A]

I guess I would take the number one running.

[B]

Yeah, but Kyle Shanahan, generally, I don't. And Sean Payton is in this list. I don't. I don't like to shackle myself to the whims of the whims. The whims of volatile coaches, Coaches that put people in the doghouse for no apparent reason. I know there's probably real reasons that these guys get in the doghouse, but no apparent reason to us. I don't want to have to be, like, playing whack a mole with this offense.

[A]

And so Sean Payton's looking at every player's ankle X rays now.

[B]

Sean Payton, I think, spends more time looking at the playing time of his wide receiver. 5 than any coach in the NFL. He needs to get those snaps up for a little Jordan Humphrey every year.

[C]

Again, we should say that the Broncos should have probably been in the super bowl. But yeah, good coach.

[B]

I don't like his fantasy.

[A]

Probably would have won the super bowl if Bonix was healthy.

[C]

Yeah, right.

[B]

Yeah. And look, Kyle Shanahan. Kyle Shanahan is like this out. So if I, if I had my coach choice of any coach in the NFL, it'd be Sean McVeigh. Number two. Probably be Kyle Shanahan. He's a good coach. I just. In fantasy, I'm avoiding his players. Same with Sean Payton, the third guy I'm adding to this list this year. I'm not drafting any packers ever again. The receivers, specifically this rule.

[A]

And I think we're going to nail it. I think you should draft the cheapest player on these teams.

[B]

Sure. Yeah. I mean, that would have been like Romeo Dubs this year. Maybe. I guess.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[C]

Is this really the coach dk, or is it the roster? Because we're just naming teams that don't have alphas, like.

[A]

No, but it's the way the coach draft. The coach made the roster.

[C]

That's. That's fine.

[B]

But again, I think it's a little of both. Yeah, it's a little bit of both because the packers, you know, specifically, they are a team that just has a lot of very talented receivers. They like to rotate. But I think even if they didn't, even if they did have a number one, I still think they would rotate. You know what I mean? Like, I think to me, Jaden Reed is their best receiver and he only plays in 11 personnel. He only gets on the field when he's in three receiver sets.

[C]

Yes. However, Devonte Adams was with LaFleur in Green Bay and he was awesome.

[B]

Yeah. So there's probably shades that you're absolutely right on that. But he's not very example of.

[A]

That's another rule. That's Aaron Rodgers is a kingmaker. When Aaron Rodgers decides I like you, then that guy was a number one top five receiver, top ten receiver for 12 straight years. I think that's like the first rule overseeding this one.

[B]

This is why we read it. This is why we revisit it every year. But generally speaking, the way that the NFL is situated right now, these teams are situated right now. I'm avoiding Kyle Shanahan, Sean Payton and Matt LaFleur. And you can't really convince me that any of those values. Can I make the 18th round?

[A]

I think you should Go even further because I think the thing you're talking about is the number one thing that does not like the most practical problem people have during the season that we don't talk about before you draft them is the problem with the players you're talking about, Cortland Sutton on the Broncos or all these other packers is do I play them each week? And the problem with Sean payton and Matt LaFleur isn't just the, what you're talking about, who's going to be the number one. But on a week to week basis, it's hard to tell people whether to take court to play Cortland Sutton. It's hard to tell people whether to play Jaden Reed. Like, like that is also an issue. It's not like otherwise where you're like, they're getting a certain amount of targets and we'll see what happens. It's like the target share is all over the place.

[B]

I. Yeah, that's, that's exactly the right point. It's, it's. I want to chase consistency and sort of like look at the underlying numbers. Tucker Craft is another interesting example coming into next year. I mean, if you look at the, if you just look at that points per game list, he's the tight end too. From 2025, he averaged almost 13 points per game and half PBR. But guess what, he had a 9.6% target rate. He was very reliant on touchdowns in the eight. He scored six touchdowns in eight games. And I don't know if I necessarily want to trust that next year when he's getting 10% of the targets. It's like one of those things. I don't want to play whack a mole all season and not know what I'm going to get from him. He's coming off an injury, so I'm going to be out on Tucker Kraft too, probably. Even though I think he's a really good player.

[A]

DK's Craig's skepticism is warranted. However, I do, I have, I've actually learned one or two things during this entire show. It's that when DK is just out on a person because like I actually emotionally don't have space for them to continue to be in my life. He bats really high. Like DK was the first person to be like Michael Thomas. I can't have this guy in my life anymore.

[C]

Arthur Smith.

[A]

Yeah, Arthur Smith. Like DK is cutting edge with the. I can't. This person and I are no longer going to continue being together.

[B]

Yeah, I kind of just once I get. Once I'm out on a player, I kind of just am out. I actually, I want to say I misspoke. On Tucker graph, he had an 18 target rate in the games he played. So that's, that's definitely more palatable. But I still think the same rule kind of applies. It's like some games he's going to be the number one receiver. Some games you might get two targets and it's just going to be really hard to figure out which one is which.

[A]

A couple other rules I want to revisit here. Starting with this one. I think worked out. Craig. This next one here, I think it's a quarterback tattoo. Where is this one on your body, Craig?

[C]

This one is, you know, like the, the stereotypical, like heart, my mom on the shoulder. That's where this one is.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

It says get you a man that can do both. And you know, the refers to quarterbacks who can pass and run. However, I wanted to revisit this because we've been doing the show for five seasons. I think we're going on season six. Is that right? Um, even back then 2019, 2020, there was like a handful of guys who were real runners, and now there's like a dozen of them. Who are Who? There were nine quarterbacks this year who ran for four or more touchdowns. There were 14 quarterbacks this year who averaged more than three fantasy points per game from rushing. And I'm almost like, you know, there was no quarterback who ran for more than 600 yards this year. And so it's like this kind of almost flattened range of quarterbacks that can run from your Josh Allens and Drake may burst onto the scene, obviously Lamar and Jaden Daniels. But then you keep working your way down and you have, you have Caleb Williams and Trevor Lawrence scored a lot of touchdowns this year. You have Jackson dart, Jalen Hurts still runs. You have Bo Nix, Mahomes is still very mobile. Do you guys still feel that it's worth attacking the elite rushers or are you like, honestly, they all kind of rush now?

[B]

This is a good question. Basically the question is, is late round quarterback back? Yeah, you know what I mean?

[C]

Because the pendulum has now swung. We were in that period of disruption right in. In the late 2010s where these rushing quarterbacks were kind of mucking up and it was like, holy, Lamar Jackson. And all these guys are changing things specifically for fantasy and in the NFL, but mainly for the purposes of the show, for fantasy. And now it's like, well, things have evened out A little bit where there are all these new quarterbacks coming into the league like Bo Nix and Jackson Dart and all these guys where the next generation of quarterbacks are dual threat. And so 10 years from now we might just have 32 Jackson darts and Josh Allen's and Drake Mays in the NFL. And are we, are we close to that now?

[A]

I think you definitely still want a running quarterback. I think yeah. The question is, do you wait for a running quarterback? I think to your point and again, a good example is Drake May. And we, we were like, why are we pretending? Just put Drake May 9 solely because we talked about the supply and demand of there's 10 quarterbacks you could take but only Drake May has the upside with the rushing to be really high. And honestly that's probably our best call the whole season was just fuck it, we're going to put him eighth or ninth in our ranks.

[C]

Everybody had him high and it worked out. He was like the ultimate. Every fantasy person wanted like thought Drake Bay was going to explode and he.

[A]

Did and it was worked out even better than any. The rare thing where everyone who had him, everyone had him high. Everyone was right. And yet no one actually went far enough in how good he would be. To the point where I think it's not controversial to say Josh Allen will be our number one quarterback and honestly it'll be Drake Mayor. Lamar is number two and like, like we'll see. But I think the underlying reason is very simple. It's hard to predict who's going to have the most passing stats because it's not the same as being a good quarterback because passing stats requires frankly either you being like Matt Stafford and or your defense being so bad you have to throw all the time. It's hard to predict. That's all it is. It's like we know the pool of people it could be. Rushing is different. We know who can run like we know there is no surprise. Jared Goff 11 touchdown season we know all the quarterbacks who can run really well or run enough to score. And so you, I mean go down the. If you guys want to go down the list. I kind of want to do.

[C]

I didn't even mention Justin Herbert who was second in the NFL and rushing at quarterback.

[A]

We could just do it. I think the top quarterback's Josh and then I think it's going to be Drake May or how you feel about Lamar Jackson based. You guys seem to hate Lamar and be totally out on him.

[B]

Not in fantasy, but I think Josh.

[A]

And Drake May and Lamar and Whatever. Like you know, Josh, Lamar Drake, whatever. But, but like we'll see. But then I think Caleb Williams, Jaden Daniels, Lamar Jackson, Trevor Lawrence, Trevor Lawrence can run. Joe Burrow is, is the, Joe Burrow is the only guy that gets the perma passing, the pocket passer statue guy because the Bengals defense is so bad. But then it's like Jackson dart hurts if they don't ban the tush push and Bo Nicks, but he is off a broken ankle and then it's just like pick your pocket passer. Stafford Mahomes, Dak Purdy, I mean Herbert I guess can run more, but I, I do think it's deep enough that you can wait. I, I really do.

[B]

I mean I think it, it's, it's still similar. I think it's similar enough to last year where you're chasing a higher floor with the Josh Allens, with the Lamar Jacksons, Jane Daniels, because they run, because they're going to get you five plus fantasy points a game just from running. And then we're going to have very likely, and this happens every year, there's probably going to be like three or two or three quote unquote pocket passers who just have a great year and pass for 35, 40 touchdowns and it's going to be, maybe it'll be Brock Purdy, maybe it'll be Dak Prescott, maybe it'll be you know, one of these like Jared Goff or something where he throws for 40 something touchdowns last year. It's gonna, it's going to be hard to predict, but I do think if you miss out on one of, if you miss out on one of the quote unquote running quarterbacks, I think a good strategy for this year's, for this next year's draft is just take two pocket passers late and hopefully one of those guys will have an above average year. Like Stafford this year, he had a, you know, MVP season and he was awesome. But it is kind of hard to predict.

[A]

Can I, yeah, can I say something crazy to you guys that I just feel based on what we've talked about, if you combine what we were talking about with offenses and coaches and trajectories and just basically a lot of what we're saying and the reason we do this is what we're trying to tell ourselves in nine months is don't look past the most important things. And if you look at that in terms of what I was saying before about like trajectory where these guys going, let's say Josh is the number one quarterback people I Kind of don't think Lamar will be the second quarterback off the board because I think people have so much. Maybe people will forget. But let's just find, say it's Lamar and then Drake may as the top three guys. I kind of think Caleb Williams and Trevor Lawrence should be fourth and fifth and I will probably have them ranked that way. And that will not be consensus and people will have mathematical arguments for why I'm wrong. I kind of don't care because at the simplest level, I don't know.

[C]

I don't know if there will be any pushback on that. Who's going to be ahead of those guys?

[B]

Well, that's the only guy that I wanted, the only guy that I would push back. And I. And I'm just thinking about it now. The guy who's probably going to be overrated going into next season is Trevor Lawrence. You think Lawrence will be overrated? Yeah, because he had nine rushing touchdowns.

[A]

But that's my point is people are going to.

[B]

He's not going to have nine. He's probably going to have like three next year.

[A]

No, but that's the thing. People can say it's regressed. Trevor Lawrence is fast, but no one thinks he is because he's 6 foot 6 and white and his long blonde hair. But I'm like, he can run. He runs all the time. And I think Liam co. Liam Cohen's always kind of encouraged his quarterbacks to run more. Like, even Baker ran more when he was under Liam Cohen. And I look at it as the only quarterbacks that are really young and talented with number one overall potential. Caleb and Trevor Lawrence are getting a full off season with their coaches. Josh Allen, his coordinator, became head coach. But then you look at the rest of the list down, you're like, okay, Jaden Daniels has Cliff Kingsbury left Washington. So he's a new coordinator. Lamar is a new head coach and coordinator. Jackson Dart's going to have a whole new staff. Jalen Hurts might have the same coordinator, which is not really. But like whatever's going with the Eagles, like that's a mess over there. And you do on the look the list. Bo Nix. That staff was a little shaken up. You know what's going on. All the other rushing quarterbacks are mobile guys. It's a total like you're hoping that a new staff gives them a step forward. But like we expect Caleb and Trevor lynch to get better because now they're spending a full year in these offenses. So I kind of think you could convince me. Caleb and Trevor Lawrence could go over Lamar. I wouldn't think you're crazy.

[C]

I'm going to be all in on Caleb, and honestly, I'm probably going to be all in on Justin Herbert. But I think what we're basically saying is, is that the top tier of quarterback now is a little bit deeper and that it's like six, seven, eight guys deep. You kind of be okay with. And there's not the. You have to get Joshua Lamar. That's kind of maybe not.

[B]

Not the big four.

[A]

You also could be the last person to get your quarter. Think about it this way. Let's just say I'm going to be last. You could get literally Bonix or Patrick Mahomes or Dak Prescott last and then pair them with Brock Purdy or Justin Herbert. Like the list of quarterbacks, you literally might get Matt Stafford last as the quarterback. Like, whatever the list is, just pull up the top 15 quarterbacks and look how easy it is to get two of the last five guys. And you're like, it's totally fine.

[C]

So I think to answer DK, your question the beginning is I do think late round quarterback is kind of back. I think Josh Allen is like, consensus. He's never screwed me, so I'm gonna draft him every year. And after that it's like, hey, 2 through 10, you could be all right.

[B]

I can't believe freaking Lamar averaged 16 points a game. He ruined my life. That was such a. I mean, I think he's gonna bounce back, but that was so disappointing.

[A]

So, dk, the next tattoo you've had is we ride with the Wild Hogs. You representing the old guys?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I think this is something that happens. You know, I play a lot of Dynasty fantasy, and the thing is, like, trying to do the Belichick and sell before they get too old, where they lose all their value. But then half the time you sell these guys and then they have like three more great seasons. And Derek Henry is the perfect example. Hifis tried to trade me Derek Henry before the fantasy playoffs, and then Derek Henry got him a championship when I said no.

[A]

So the thing is, everybody. Everybody that I offered him to said no. And anybody who accepted it would have won. So I won.

[B]

Yeah, Heifetz fucking won the league. So I think what I'm saying with the right wide ride with the Wild Hogs, thing is it's so much harder to displace an established, entrenched veteran than people think it is. We do this every year. This guy's going to come in and he's going to make so and so irrelevant. And then Mike Evans is still, you know, a thousand yards and 10 touchdowns or whatever. Christian McCaffrey probably going to talk about how old he is and how he didn't look quite as fast this year all offseason and then he's still going to get 300 touches. So I think there's definitely shades of gray in here where you know, the Travis Kelsey's the world are probably not going to be back on Travis Kelsey if he plays again, things like that. But I do think guys like Derrick Henry cmc, I bet you Saquon will have a huge big bounce back season. I'll probably be all over Saquon this year just because people are kind of, I think lower on him than than usual. And I just think it's still so much harder to get rid of these old Wiley vets than people think it is.

[A]

I think it's really simple. If you haven't seen the cliff yet, then it's not. You don't have to worry about it coming. Like we saw Travis Kelce at a cliff this year. It's not coming back but we haven't seen it with certain people. So don't worry about it.

[B]

Yeah. So I think generally I'm still going to be in on this. I think this year was maybe a little less of a strong case for it than usual, but I still feel pretty strongly about this.

[A]

Yeah, we'll go through Devonte Adams. Mike Evans will be 33 this year. Stefan Diggs will be 33 this year. Derek Henry just turned 32. McAffrey turns 30 in June. Sake 129. Like it's a test of whether people can stare at those numbers and not worry about it.

[C]

You know, Tom Cruise still making people go to the box office, you know.

[B]

Still doing all his own stunts.

[A]

It is that simple. It's. We joke about it, but I kind of think we nailed it. It's. If it was called 29 and 5 it wouldn't worry about it. But it's called, you know, 29 and 4. It's fine. But yeah, 33 sounds scary but like it doesn't matter.

[C]

Can we start saying that I'm 29 and two? I would love that.

[A]

Yeah, 29, Craig's 29. Two great DK. The last one we have and then we got to go to polar writer this season that we're going to make tattoos we have hold rookie receivers. This one is the one that failed us the most this year.

[B]

Yeah. And this is the first time in like six or seven years where it really didn't pay off. And this is hold on to your rookie receivers even when they're not really doing a whole lot in the beginning of the season.

[C]

Where is this tattoo?

[B]

This one is, you know, like on my side on my rib cage.

[C]

Oh, yeah. You know, and cursive.

[B]

Yeah. Because it's painful right there. You remember that. So basically every year over the last six or seven years, if you hold on to these rookie quarterback or rookie receivers, it usually pays off. You got like Justin Jefferson's, Jalen Waddle, Some of these guys that have massive, massive second half of the season, even though they're like not doing a whole lot in the first half of the season, we didn't really see that this year. Honestly, this rookie class, this rookie receiver class, kind of disappointed. I would say Buko in the beginning of the year looked amazing. And then he was like the wide receiver four on his team by the end of the season. It was very bizarre. It was like the inverse of this rule. I think Ted McMillan was good. He, he did, you know, he had over a thousand yards, but he wasn't gonna be the type of guy that won anybody their league. Luther Burden, I think he's looking interesting, but again, he wasn't actually that useful in fantasy. Matthew golden, absolute no show. Didn't do anything. Unfortunately.

[A]

One good catch in the playoffs just to rope me back in for next year.

[B]

Yeah. So I, I still look at this. I think this was probably a bit of an outlier season in terms of that rule, but I'm, I'm, I am quite, I'm less confident in it going into next year.

[C]

No, we remain unwavered. We, you have to hold strong with this take because it been right most of the time.

[B]

All right, so next year's, next year's class, we'll get into all the receivers going, going into the draft next year. But I think there are some good receivers, some guys that could be productive in fantasy. But yeah, this, this rule did kind of let us down in 2025.

[A]

I think it's just as simple as second year receivers. Just, we used to be, the thing is like, look at second year guys and we should just like go back to that. I, I, I think a lot of last year's rookie receivers will probably be fine.

[B]

I didn't really do, I didn't do a deep dive on this. It's just more impression. But I wonder if we did sort of reach a tipping point of receiver talent in the NFL where there's actually quite a lot of really good young receivers in the NFL. And it's harder to kind of find a high volume role when you have.

[A]

So many started playing multiple tight ends way more like that's true. You can't like there's also rookie receivers are getting on the field and three receiver sets and suddenly you're like oh well we're going to go more two tight end sets. And I think you saw that the rookies are the guys that are not getting on the field.

[D]

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[E]

This episode is brought to you by Firehouse Subs who just dropped a game changing sandwich? The French dip. Literally one of my favorite sandwiches slash subs. Roast beef, caramelized onions, melty cheese, little freshly toasted garlic butter roll and the warm savory au jus. I've been eating these forever since I was living on the east coast in la. I think to me this versus the cheesesteak, the French dip. No contest. Way better. And I think it's really because of the au jus. I don't know anybody who doesn't like au jus. An elite game day sub. Fun to order by the way if you want it delivered because they usually put the au jus in the special little container you can pour it on. Knock yourself out. The French tip here for a limited time. I wish it was longer. Only at Firehouse Subs. Limited time at participating Firehouse Subs restaurants while supplies last.

[A]

Yep. All right, let's get into Polaroids. These are things that we lessons we have for from this season that I think we need to discuss and decide if it's going to be a tattoo. And I want to start with I don't know what this one means. I wrote this down. You have no memory of it. I actually do. I'm serious. I do write these down in a note all season and I saved this episode. The number. This is true. The number one thing I wrote down. And I want you guys to help me. I just. It says, listen to these tattoos, you idiot. I am trying to help you.

[B]

I'm trying to help you.

[A]

What do you guys think that means?

[B]

You wrote this in a moment of despair. Something. Something bad happened. I don't know. I can't pinpoint what it was. Yeah, I think. I don't know. We. We talk. This is the reason we do this episode because we ignore all the. Once you get into that draft, you see some shiny new toy. Yeah, you want to grab it, but yeah. Do. You don't remember what this was?

[C]

Like, story like, Tony Pollard has had his, like, 10th straight disappointing game and you're like, why did I do this?

[A]

I don't.

[C]

None of my tattoos told me to take him.

[A]

The true story. I write things down all season and I put. I open it for the show and I was like, this is the top of the list of like, oh, my God.

[B]

You got to get into the metadata and like, pinpoint what day it happened.

[A]

I should. The other one I had for this season, I just wrote down believe your eyes. And like, you know, everyone had that George Orwell quote this year. Like the party told you, reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command. I think Georgia Orwell learned that playing fantasy football because it's really. This is about August where, like, I'm like, there are all these things people are going to try to tell you. Like, they're going to tell you don't remember anything you saw. Don't worry about what you heard. And they're going to be like, Derek Henry, 32, is the oldest running back in the NFL. And I'm like, I saw with my eyes that Derrick Henry destroyed everybody in December and January again. And anybody who had Derek Henry in the fantasy playoffs won their title. I saw it. I can't unsee it.

[B]

I won't.

[A]

I refuse to. I don't give people like, well, Keith Mitchell will take his. I don't care. I don't care. And I just. I don't give a shit about Mitch.

[B]

Everyone said his name.

[A]

Everyone's going to memory hole, like, Trivia Henderson. Everyone's going to try to dairy bury Ramandre Stevenson in a ditch like he doesn't exist. Trivia on Henderson now with the full offseason. And I'm like, I don't give a shit. Ramondry Stevenson Was better than Travion Henderson at the end. Like, I don't. I saw it with my eyes. He was a better player. He's not going anywhere. I don't care.

[C]

I witnessed with my eyes your testicles on my drum set.

[A]

You can't forget that shit.

[B]

I was watching Cops.

[C]

I witnessed with my eyes your testicles on. So did we all. We all saw that too.

[A]

This is Michael Wilson and Marvin Harrison Jr. People are going to try to rank Marvin Harrison next year higher than Michael Wilson. I saw Michael Wilson's testicles on Marvin Harrison's drum set.

[C]

I witnessed with my eyes. I agree with you. It's. It's a tale as old as time. Trust your eyes.

[A]

Trust your eyes.

[C]

It's anti lytics.

[A]

Anti lytics. You cannot convince me Michael Wilson should be drafted Behind Marvin Harrison Jr. The other one is again, Travis Hunter, who I know that I've just. I was the number one person to love the Travis Hunter. But after watching the Jaguars, it is so obvious to me. He's their fourth receiver. They paid Jacoby Myers $60 million a year. He's not coming off the field. Brian Thomas can't play cornerback. He's not coming off the field. Parker Washington's not coming off the fucking field. Like, those three guys are the top three receivers. Travis Hunter is like the best fourth receiver in the NFL. He should practice with the defense. And if one of those guys gets hurt, Travis Hunter should slot in. But he needs to practice with the defense. He's coming off a knee injury and I'm like, people are going to be like, oh, Travis. Like, no, those three guys are playing. I don't give a shit what anyone says about Parker Washington. Like, I saw it. I saw.

[B]

This is a, this is a, a brutal example because I'm 100% going to not believe my eyes on this one. You know what I mean? Yeah.

[C]

They used to draw tattoo bigger.

[B]

This is the hardest example because I love, love Parker Washington. Parker Washington's awesome. Everything he did to close out the season, I'm like, this guy's awesome. I don't know why they can't weren't playing him earlier. But also in my heart, I believe they're going to plop him right back on the bench and play Travis Hunter because they, they, they traded up to number two to draft.

[A]

That's what everyone's gonna say.

[B]

I guarantee you we should. Let's make a bet. Let's make a bet. Because I, I think you're gonna be wrong on this one.

[A]

Receiver snaps week One for the Jaguars.

[B]

Anyone gets hurt the folk the whole season. Why are we talking about week one?

[A]

I don't know. It seems. Did you want to do the whole season? Sure.

[B]

Yeah. Because you play a football. You play fantasy football for a whole season.

[C]

The bet should be if, if everyone is healthy. Where does Travis Hunter rank in terms of Jacksonville's wide receiver snaps?

[B]

I think they're going to. The sunk cost thing is too, too strong for them. They don't want to look like it is.

[A]

I will take that.

[C]

They should just trade him now.

[B]

I love Parker Washington too. This pains me to do this, but I think.

[A]

But here's the thing.

[B]

Why.

[A]

Why would they play Travis Parker Washington? Because the offense.

[B]

Trevor Lawrence said very obvious reasons. They traded two. First to go get him.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then Parker Washington, very obvious reasons.

[A]

So he'll play defense.

[B]

I feel like when have you watched the NFL people stick to their. To. To draft capital for, for so long? I.

[A]

It's. This is the whole thing. It's like there's no way like the Jaguars offense down the street. I mean, what did we say Trevor Lawrence are the most fantasy points in the history of the fantasy football playoffs? The final three weeks of the season. Yeah.

[C]

I think tweaking it, I think dk. I think the difference is. I think generally you're right. Like the warriors refusing to trade Jonathan Kaminga for five years is because the owner was like, I don't want to admit that I made the wrong pick. But because Travis Hunter can also just play corner. I feel like it's different if he was just a wide receiver, I might agree with you. But he can just play corner.

[A]

You know what? The Jags need a fucking cornerback.

[B]

Yeah. I want, I want Heifetz to be right. I do. I truly do. Because I like, I really do honestly like Parker Washington.

[C]

But also I don't think we can say that. I don't like that. It's that we say the Jaguars traded two first round picks, whatever it is. Because they didn't.

[B]

Okay, my bad. Whatever it is, they traded. They traded a lot to go with this guy.

[C]

Well, they swapped picks and then traded next year's first. So technically they did like two first round picks were traded. But I feel like you got to say they traded one.

[A]

It's a first. Well, it's a first and a second.

[C]

Sure, sure, sure.

[A]

But, but I, I know factored in.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

First and a second.

[B]

That's fair. But what was he number? Second overall. Right?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They moved up from five to two.

[B]

Right.

[A]

The. The Other players that just want to short, like players that I'm like, I, I just think we've seen enough. Like, they're gonna, I don't care what people say in August. Like, they're not going to lose playing time. Javante Williams, if he goes back to Dallas, is the starter. I don't want to hear anything. Kenneth. If Aaron Rodgers go back goes back to Pittsburgh, Kenneth Gainwell will be exactly as valuable.

[C]

Oh, 1 million percent.

[A]

Same guy.

[B]

Kenny Gainwell might be the best player in the NFL. Like, believe your eyes on that.

[C]

God, I hope he comes back. He became my favorite player.

[A]

Yeah. Anyway, I just, I believe my eyes. So there you go. That's high.

[B]

Fitz, generally, I totally agree with you on this, but that example, like, is why I fail at these types of things.

[C]

I think Hivet's. You have the, the Bears running backs are good ones.

[A]

Like, yeah, that worked.

[C]

And I, I'm good with drafting them again.

[A]

Yeah. DeAndre Swift and Common on Guy were fantastic. Kimir DK for the Titans. It's like they'll bring in a number one. Kimir DK is the number two. Khmer DK might be better than whoever they bring in as the number one receiver next year. He was incredible.

[C]

Another guy who's a trust your eyes guy, although he did get hurt. But long term, like, Quinshawn Judkins is good.

[A]

Yeah. It's weird that he like broke his leg late in the year, which is sucks because everything else suggests that he was going to be really good pro and he was really good immediately. I don't know what to do with a player on the Cleveland Browns who broke his leg.

[C]

But I, I, he went under the radar because the Browns were terrible. Nobody watched them. But Judkins was quietly very good.

[A]

Any Jaguars? The Jaguars starting running back. If they let ETN go in free agency, then Bash will toot and I've seen enough. Like, he's like, I don't want to hear anything else.

[C]

You know, who's another guy who I just know is good is I think Blake Corum's good.

[A]

I think he's better than Kyren Williams.

[C]

He's just good.

[A]

He will take that job this year.

[B]

Is it, is it bad that I can never tell the difference between Kyron and Corum?

[C]

That's a compliment to Blake Corum.

[B]

Right? And you know, half the time it's Corum running. I'm like, oh, Kyron looked good there. And I was like, oh, that was Corum. And then vice versa. I'm like, oh, actually, oh, that Was Kyron.

[A]

It's some of the best analysis you have is when you actually are intently watching you get confused. Like, I. I knew Saquon was not recovered from a. Like a high ankle sprain years ago. Everyone's like, what's going on with Saquon? I'm like, I'll tell you what's going on. When he's in. I'm like, oh, Wayne Gallman. Oh, that's Saquon. Like, that's.

[B]

I remember so many of those moments where I was like, oh, there we go. Saquon. He's got it back. Oh, that was Goldman.

[C]

Yeah. Wow. He's really got birth. Damn it.

[A]

That's like. Like that is one of the best tests there is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, yeah, the. Okay. The other one just. I think this covers a lot of things we talked about, but I just. The end. I. I think we should get this tattooed. Just buy the dip. It's simple. It's buy the dip. Like last year you bought the dip in Christian McCaffrey.

[B]

It worked.

[A]

Like you buy the dip on all these players.

[C]

It's the hardest thing to do.

[A]

So like McCaffrey was the guy and.

[B]

Warren Buffett right here, baby. Right.

[A]

Like everyone's being a little. Then go for it. And what, everyone's just being reckless. Then you just don't. And it's like I can tell you right now who I think buy the dip on number one is Lamar Jackson. Because he's Lamar Jackson and no one's going to want him. Totally running back. It's a little harder. Saquon probably Bucky Irving, maybe Saquon's a.

[C]

Great one and Bucky is a. Yeah, totally Bucky.

[B]

There's going to be. I've already seen so many tweets of Bucky's stats. His rookie season versus second season where everything on this first season was, you know, efficiency, total, whatever it was like first, first, second, third, first. And then his. His second season was like out of 43 qualifying running backs. 42nd, 41st, 43rd, 43rd. Like he was one of the worst running backs in the NFL all of a sudden. I think it was probably just he was hurt also hurt. And it could run game situation. Yeah.

[A]

With the coach Liam Cohen, it's everything. Liam Cohen went to the Jacksonville and those Jack the running backs went better. But then the Bucks O line get hurt and Bucky was hurt. So it's like you've perfect storms like that. The Eagles will see because part of me wants to see if the Eagles will be disaster again. Part of Me is like Saquon's going to be somewhere between last year and the year before. So it's probably a value. I will say though, the ultimate by the dip this season is going to be at receiver.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Brian. All the initial guys. Brian BTJ, AJB, like Brian Thomas Jr. Like I'm telling you right now, that's a by the dip guy. A.J. brown. We'll see what happens with the Eagles. That one's a little harder because it's.

[B]

These guys suck to draft.

[A]

I know, but that's the point.

[B]

I hate drafting these guys. Yeah.

[A]

DJ Moore for the Bears. It's going to be Luther Bird and mania. DJ Moore is a better player. He's a more complete player. He's more polished. He's a pro. And Luther Bird is still learning the ropes. And I'm like, DJ Moore is going to fly under the radar compared to Luther Burton. And DJ was gonna be better. The other one, Roma Dunes as well, is gonna fly super under the radar. And I'm like, you know what?

[E]

Throw it out.

[A]

He had a foot injury. He could barely walk. Like, I, I just, I don't care. He's a really talented player. I'm just gonna blindly take him. Like, I just, I think there's a lot. And also I think the number, the top buy the dip guys for me though are going to be Brock Bowers. And then if you like one of late tight ends could be David and joking Bowers.

[C]

There's, there's gonna be no value in Bowers. Bowers will be immediately back.

[A]

I think, I think Bowers, we'll see where he ends up. But I think, I think he's gonna.

[C]

Be tight end one in, in rankings.

[A]

No, I think Trey McBride will be definitely be the number one guy.

[C]

I don't know if that's, I mean, who's the quarterback? People don't know.

[A]

We'll see. Well, the quarterback they have probably set. I think McBride will be number one. I think Bowers is going to be like 18th or 20th pick and I think that's like, I, I, I, I will. I think Bowers is.

[C]

I hate this. I don't think I'm gonna get this tattoo.

[B]

I know. I was gonna say high Fitz is gonna be buying the dip on all of us in these leagues because I'm not drafting any of these guys.

[A]

You know what? David and Joker is the perfect example of this to me. David and Joku is the perfect example. Like he's gonna be incredible.

[B]

There's no way to hell Brian Thomas, AJ Brown, Or DJ Moore could be on any.

[C]

You couldn't fucking pay me.

[B]

Out your life.

[C]

I understand it. I just. I don't know.

[B]

This is why it's the right call.

[C]

I'll buy the dip on a guy that I didn't have last year. Then I'll buy the dip on those guys.

[A]

We should probably. Another way to do the last two rules we're talking about is, what if last season was the only thing you knew? What would you do? And then what if last year had literally never happened?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And like those two lists where it's like, Brian Thomas, AJ Brown, like, where are these guys? If you literally never saw last season.

[C]

If. If you never saw last season, A.J. brown's like the wide receiver five.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And if you did watch last season, he's like the wide receiver 25.

[A]

If you only saw last season, he's not drafted, you wouldn't take him.

[C]

Dk, where do you think AJ Brown finished in points per game last year?

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Among receivers, like 24th?

[C]

12Th.

[B]

Yeah, it didn't feel that way.

[A]

50Th and then like fourth. Right.

[B]

It sure didn't feel.

[C]

12Th is. Is maddening because. Because you were like, the first 10 weeks of the season, you were like two and eight with him.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And so it didn't even matter what happened the rest of the year, but he. He did come back. But also.

[A]

Wait, do you have that list in front of you or just A.J. brown?

[C]

Can I have it?

[A]

You know what? The funniest one in that list to me I was going through is where is Zay Flowers on the list of total points?

[C]

Oh, total points or per game?

[A]

Total.

[C]

Total, because I'm. A.J.

[B]

Brown was 12 per game and he played 15 games.

[C]

You want per gamer?

[A]

Total?

[C]

Both per game. He was 14th. 11.7 per game and total. He was total. He was seven.

[A]

That's fucking crazy, because nobody would say Flowers liked one fucking second of it. And it should be a reminder to not use total points because the Z Flowers being seventh in total points for. Is that really where he is?

[C]

Seventh?

[A]

That feels impossible.

[C]

Yeah, well, because he played 17 games.

[A]

Dude, I. Here's the thing. Did you guys have Zay Flowers any teams last year?

[C]

I've never had him.

[B]

I was out on him all year.

[A]

That runs horizontally more than any player. Like, there's the ratio of how fast you are to how many yards you were running horizontally. There's nobody that's higher.

[B]

He's so messy, dude.

[C]

You know who get in the field. So here. Here are the top five last Year. They all make sense in total points. Puka, jsn, Amon, Ra, Jamar Chase was fourth. George Pickens was fifth. Guess who was sixth, right above Zay Flowers. Somebody we pretty much didn't discuss.

[B]

I just looked, so I'm not gonna lave.

[C]

Yeah. Crystal Lave. Just the wide receiver. 6.

[A]

Dude, that's.

[B]

Is he gonna be a. Is he gonna be a good buy next year? Is he gonna be a overpriced, do you think?

[C]

I don't think he's gonna be overpriced.

[A]

He'll be exactly. Properly priced. Okay, we won't talk about. That's an example. Like, Rattler was bad, and then Chuck came in and like, basically Olavi was the centerpiece of the offense and Rattler couldn't really do it. But then Shuck came in, had a weird start, but then Shuck actually got it going and a lot started hitting everything.

[B]

As long as we're on this, do you think Pickens is gonna be overpriced too, or do you think Pickens is properly priced?

[C]

I think I. I would almost say.

[B]

He'S closer to properly priced, assuming he's back with Dallas.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

All right. So. All right, let's see here. So don't buy the dip. That's. That's what you guys want to do. Whatever.

[B]

No, no, I agree in buying the dip. All these players you listed, I will not be buying that thing.

[A]

Just when you look individually, you're like, I don't want to do any of these.

[B]

I will probably buy Roma Dun. I agree. I agree with Roma Dun. I agree with lamar saquon and bucky 100.

[C]

Lamar was hurt, and so, like, I can talk myself into that. AJ Brown and whatever the. Is going on with him and the Eagles. I don't know if I want that again.

[A]

We'll see.

[B]

DJ More. I legitimately cut from my team.

[C]

I'm not doing DJ Moore.

[B]

I'm out on dj.

[C]

We should stress this is all about when they're like, DJ Moore. No one's going to draft DJ Moore. So hyper. It's like he's getting Michael Pittman. DJ Moore is going to be the new Michael Pittman. He'll be sitting there in the ninth.

[B]

That's a good point.

[C]

And then, no, everyone's going to be like, oh, I'm going to go after, you know, whatever cool rookie somebody took, and instead, you should just take DJ Moore.

[B]

There's a reason there's a dip, though. And the overarching point here is a lot of these are gross. Ish Players. Players that no one wants to take. There's. That's why there's a dip. It's kind of scary to buy.

[A]

People thought McCaffrey was gross last year.

[B]

I mean, I think Brian Thomas Jr. AJ Brown and EJ More are fucking gross.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. And I'm saying the reasoning for those guys is Brian Thomas was misfit in the off. We'll talk. We have all a year to talk about this. But that's exactly what I'm talking about. It's when multiple things go wrong for a player that's indisputably talented and he was in the wrong part of the role. They switched him. Then he got hurt. He came back from injured reserve, and then they had a. They had a new thing going. He's a whole off season, and now they know how they want to use him. It's like, that's the definition to me of someone that you should get. He's 24 on this list.

[C]

I think the two guys that I would. I would be willing to take a chance on are Brian Thomas Jr. And Roma Dunze. I would not want to. For A.J. brown and D.J.

[A]

Moore, that's fine, because the underlying point is all these guys are spectacularly talented. Sure. And people hate them anyway. So what are the other Polaroids you guys have? Let things. You're debating getting a tattoo of.

[C]

I'm debating getting the tattoo, but I don't even know what the tattoo is, which is why I'm here with. With you boys.

[B]

What.

[C]

What is the Jonathan Taylor Colts lesson?

[A]

That's.

[B]

Just write a question on your. On yourself.

[C]

Yeah. Like do. Do do more research on this. I don't know. Jonathan Taylor was the best running back in fantasy football and, like, took the world by storm for eight weeks. And the lesson then was like, man, if a guy has already been the number one player in fantasy football and he's still under 27 years old, maybe don't write that guy off. And then, I mean, I have it. Jonathan Taylor had scored 17 touchdowns by Week 10 last year, and then he had three the rest of the season and was the running back 23 for the. For the final eight weeks of the season. So it's like the entire Colts lesson. What is the lesson? What do I take away from any of that?

[B]

Sometimes there is no lesson.

[A]

Well, no, it's. It's. It's. I think that pretending and as the person who had Jonathan Taylor in the. In the ringer league, I think pretending that, like, well, it was easy to see coming is a little ridiculous.

[B]

Like not easy to see coming.

[A]

I think. Yeah, there's elite talent and like there's some elite talent. I think the real when you look at it. And again, the next episode we're doing after this is the first round picks. And I thought Jonathan Taylor was weird to rank because again to Craig's point, first 10 weeks of the season, Jonathan Taylor had 100 more points than B John Robinson. 100 more points than B. Johnson.

[C]

Yeah, 17 touchdowns by week 10.

[A]

Then he was behind Zach Charbonnet from.

[B]

That point on and he did. He was not. The hard part about Taylor is he. He had very average receiving production. I mean he wasn't like a high end receiving.

[A]

This is what. No, this is what happens to our brains when we get away. I don't think it's the receiving. I think that it's fucking. Daniel Jones broke his leg, cracked it then towards Achilles and it was Phil Rivers coming in. And the offense, ever since Daniel Jones broke his leg, couldn't move the offense like cratered. So I think the lesson to me is elite players always have ceiling when they're healthy. And I think things happen in the offensive line and stuff. Braden Smith came back, he had like a mental health real issue. He came back in full strength. It was hard to see that coming. He's an older player, the line shelled. But I think the real lesson to me is actually applying Jonathan Taylor to Bijan Robinson next year. Bijan Robinson we're debating is you see the first pick in fantasy. But what happens to Bijan if Michael Penix gets hurt and there's like a Phil river situation in Atlanta? I think that's the question. Maybe it doesn't matter because Bijan's such a good receiver as a running back and better than John. Maybe it doesn't matter, but I think it's more. The lesson is it doesn't matter how good someone's doing when the quarterback situation just melts, it could go away. Predicting it for a guy outside the top 1520 is hard, but it's, it's. That's almost where I'm thinking is like which quarterback situation is most likely to implode of all the top running backs. And I look at that for Devon Hn, where it's like who's the quarterback in Miami? And I look at that for Bijan, like what happens if Michael Penix, all three ACL injuries, has a fourth? Which isn't fun.

[C]

But yeah, it's like there's like two lessons here. There's like one about Jonathan Taylor, specifically for his talent. What he's done in the past, relying on him, betting on him. And then also, like, was it even possible to know that the Colts would be good?

[A]

Here's my thing. No, but this is going back to two seconds ago when you like just saying, like, like a reminder of you guys just said, like, I'll never have A.J. brown on my team in a vacuum. A.J. brown's a top, what, receiver?

[C]

10.

[A]

In real life.

[C]

No, in real life, seven.

[A]

That's my point. Yeah, fine. That's my point, though. Seven.

[C]

Seven to 10.

[A]

Seven. I would say he's a top six, top seven guy. I think that he's like, right, let's.

[B]

Do the six, seven thing.

[A]

Sick. Whatever. God. I do. That's actually. It's like a brain worm. But my point being, that's why I'm saying A.J. brown's about the dip, because everyone's saying everyone's gonna be like that guy, and.

[B]

I'm like, on a different team next year and then I might change my mind.

[A]

Like, everyone's saying that guy. Even this the that guy season, he was the top 12 guy in points because he had multiple 100 yard games after everyone gave up on him. But he's a real life top seven at his position. Jonathan Taylor is the same thing. He's a real life top seven player in his position and just never let those guys fall that much. I think to me, that's the lesson is like, when people are still in their prime. Details, don't worry about it.

[C]

So what's the tattoo? How long is it. Is it a paragraph tattoo explaining what happens?

[A]

Taylor lesson find meaning in this.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah. I think it's something along meaning this is something along the lines of draft elite players and then you couldn't have known it was going to be an elite offense.

[A]

But draft good players and sometimes you get lucky.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

If a guy who was previously considered the best running back in the NFL is still under 27 years old and he's going outside of the top two rounds drafted, I just think.

[A]

I just think it doesn't have to be a running back thing. I think it's a player thing. And that's why I kind of look at AJ Brown.

[B]

Where was James Cook going last year?

[A]

Like 30th, 25th?

[B]

He's another kind of interesting example of this. It's like we were thinking 28. He. We were thinking he would be the. The touchdown regression would immediately go back to almost nothing.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Led the NFL at touchdown, you know, that.

[C]

That's a. That's a mini tattoo that I ignore touchdown regression predictions. I don't do that.

[A]

Well, can we do that? All those players who have the exact same.

[B]

I'm out on. I'm out on stats.

[A]

No, I. Craig, can we do this right now? Players that will. People talk about regression of the exact same thing. Trevor Lawrence will also have nine rushing touchdowns again. Colby Parkinson will also have nine receiving touchdowns again. And then James Cook will, like, basically probably lead the league in rushing and have 16 touchdowns again.

[C]

Devonte Adams. Devonte Adams will have 14 touchdowns again. Receiving, for sure.

[A]

Because you know why? You know what? The only thing everybody who analyzes the football said last offseason. The only thing all fans and all analysts said, well, Sam Darnold won't win 14 games again. I think everybody sentence at some point.

[C]

Yeah. So I actually. That's a little mini. I'm gonna. I'm gonna do that below my left eye. Ignore regression.

[B]

Well, bet on the outliers while we're on the.

[A]

While we're on the Jonathan Taylor thing, though. And just the whole, like, what's the lesson from this? I think, Craig, you mentioned injuries. It's like Stafford and McCaffrey and, like, just. I think. Yeah, that's another situation where, like, what are. What are we.

[C]

What's the takeaway here midway through the season? I. I kind of. I. I wrote down the tattoo. The potential tattoo of, like, so if it's August in the injury situation, situation sounds dire, or they're coming off something bad and you're worried about it, do you just ignore it? If the guy's really talented and in a great situation, like with McVeigher, with Shanahan, and you know what? I don't think so. I. I think. I think they were outliers, and you should still not go after guys who have injuries that sound really bad, to be honest.

[B]

This is a good. This is good. Because my natural inclination, Craig, is to be. Is to stick my head in the sand and be like, no, no, no, no, no. He's gonna be fine. It'll be fine. Don't worry. Basically, my whole philosophy with injuries is like, he'll be fine. And then, like, most of the time, it's not fine. So this is actually a good. This. Because Matt Stafford just won the MVP.

[C]

You know, I mean, little Stafford won the MVP and McCaffrey won the fantasy MVP effectively.

[B]

And.

[C]

And yet I don't know if, If, If. If Derrick Henry's 35 years old and is coming off bilateral Achilles tendonitis I probably won't draft him, and I think that's okay.

[A]

I think it's. The problem is, like, you don't want to. You can pretend to know too much about any injury. But I think the Stafford McAffrey thing is they were chronic injuries that were being managed to. Managed. The McCaffrey thing, the reason I was so hard, I, you know, blind squirrels. But the reason I think I was so aggressive, that McCaffrey should probably be the number one pick or just be a top. Top five pick. You should take him. Was that I think the part everyone had, like, over or under thought was that he got a year off. Like, he barely played. Like, he didn't take all these other hits. Like, all these other things. Like, his whole. Like, the Niners were treating him like he's fully healthy. It wasn't like the year before where the Niners were like, yeah, we're worried he's not practicing. The Niners were like, we're giving them a totally full workload. The Niners were not worried about it. We were worried about it because, you know, we worried about the previous season. So I think that it's like, sometimes you don't know. Sometimes there's a Bucky Irving situation where you're like, I don't even know if the team was fully aware of what was going on with Bucky irving the first 40 hours after that happened. But the truth is, we'll never know. And so, if anything, I think maybe my lesson is you people probably don't know what's going on. And so just lean away and you'll probably be right.

[B]

I still think one of the most memorable. And, like, truthfully, when I think of this season, in five years, it's going to be that day that Christian McAffrey was on the injury report in the preseason with a heel injury. We were like, no.

[A]

The first game of the. It was the Thursday of week one. It was J. Carter spit on Dak Prescott, and then McAffrey was like, Michael Scott.

[C]

He's like, ah, I'm gonna kill myself.

[B]

What's the best. Oh, that was funny. I think that, truthfully, is, like, one of the most memorable moments of this last year in fantasy.

[A]

Dude, fantasy is ridiculous, because in the ringer league, I managed to get McCaffrey and Jonathan Taylor, and I still didn't make the final. It's just like, Jesus.

[B]

I. Yeah. The team that won and the team.

[A]

That got last, I lost by 90 points in the semis because Mallory had. Because Bill cut Matt Stafford, and Mallory added him and she had Stafford and Puka and they had 80 points together. And it was on Thursday and I lost. I was like, you know what? This game's stupid. That should be a tattoo. Is this game stupid? Stupid.

[B]

It's all stupid. Life is painful.

[A]

Hobby.

[C]

The tattoo should say, don't make fantasy football your only hobby.

[B]

That's actually really smart. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, my God. Anything any other Polaroids you guys have?

[C]

I think I'm willing to make it an official tattoo that you should beware of the team that just lost their awesome play color. I think there were three big examples last year. Tampa Bay, Detroit, and Philly. Two out of the three of those paid off. The Lions were actually. Even though their season didn't pan out from a fantasy perspective, it still kind of was okay. Amonra was still really good. Jameer Gibbs is still good. Goff was fine. But the Bucks were very messy and the Eagles obviously were an absolute disaster. And so this year going in dk, we can talk about this all off season, but, you know, Seattle's losing Clint Kubiak. Miami is. It lost Mike McDaniel and don't have a quarterback. And don't have a quarterback. So I. I do actually. Really. If you know that a play caller is that good and they leave.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I do think that should affect your opinion of. Of these players standings in fantasy.

[B]

Absolutely. Absolutely. I am the. I think one player I'm getting, Devon.

[C]

Hn, will be a really interesting conversation this year.

[B]

100. Because he was, you know, I don't think Mike McDaniel made him, but he was definitely a product of Mike McDaniel really having a ton of conviction that he's a good player and fits in his offense. He catches so many passes in that offense. And I personally think running back receptions are very correlated strongly to, like, what type of quarterback you have and how willing that quarterback is to rip it downfield or drop it off to a running back. You know what I mean? And so, yeah, that's gonna be interesting with a Chan. And I think Seattle is another great example. Craig.

[A]

And.

[B]

And this is one reason I'm like, I just. I honestly, I'm to do with JSN next year. I still think he's a elite player, a great player. But, you know, in an offense that's not being run by Clint Kubiak and it's hard to know exactly how high you should be ranking him. Like, I. I think he's one player who's probably gonna see statistical fall off next year, especially if they resign Shahid if cup comes back, there's going to be more. You know, they're A.J. barnard's on the rise. Elijah Arroyo didn't really even play that much as a rookie. They're going to be more. I think there's going to be more skill players involved in the, in the passing game this year than we saw early on in the season. So he's a really tough one.

[A]

I think that's a really good call.

[B]

I had one that I just thought of that is not fleshed out but I just want to throw it by you guys and maybe this is already sort of established but like just looking at the tight ends, the old Axum that young tight ends can't produce in fantasy, it just feels dead. Like it's, it's not a thing anymore.

[A]

It's dead. I think that's an excellent call.

[B]

Axum or Axiom?

[C]

Axiom.

[B]

Axiom.

[A]

My bad.

[B]

But yeah, I think like Harold Fannin this year coming in and doing what he did was so incredible. Obviously Brock Bowers, Trey McBride is. He didn't go to war second year but Tyler Warren was very useful. Colson awesome.

[A]

For the best 12 rookie fantasy seasons ever. Last like three seasons. Like I think you're. This is a great point.

[B]

So I think. And then Rhonda Gaston, I mean what he did for a hot minute during the season was incredible there. It's just. It doesn't take as long as it used to to get these tight ends integrated into these offenses. And so I don't know what the lesson is necessarily. This isn't like a great, I don't think you know, Kenyan City coming into this rookie class. He might land somewhere cool and. But it's not going to be like a superstar studded tight end class necessarily. But I just think overall that old sort of thought is dead now.

[A]

Tight end though this season it'll be. We. We've done this for three years now. If he's tight end deep. But it's like you have Trey McBride and Brock Bowers then it's like the way Colston Loveland played down the stretch in the playoffs. What do you have like 100.

[B]

He had like some all time tight end games late in the season.

[A]

Tucker Kraft, I don't know where he goes but he was the number one guy tore his acl. Then you have like Tyler Warren, it's like a fifth tight end. You have Harold Fannin who had, I mean he was. He's basically the number one receiver on the Browns. Sam Laporta is like the seventh or eighth tight End like Dalton Kincaid. Kyle Pitts, who I can't even wait to.

[B]

He's basically a rookie.

[A]

Yeah. No, he's like 21 years old. You know, he's like Jason Tatum.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

No, it's forever. Yeah.

[A]

Tight end's probably the most interesting it's been. Of all these tattoos, what do you think is the one that will be most widespread adopted? And then we'll have to go the other way. Like, is everyone gonna say Stafford and McCaffrey, we worried about their injuries and then. So don't worry about it. And then we have to worry. Or like, what are the rules where we have to zag because everyone's gonna do it versus the rules that no one's gonna agree with us on. Like, no one's gonna be like, I like these players don't like, like, take them part of it. Thinks the age thing. I think that's the one that everyone's gonna be like, oh, we don't want old players. Probably.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Do you think everyone's going to agree that quarterback is super deep down? Late round quarterback is back.

[A]

Yes, I absolutely think everyone will agree on that.

[C]

Yeah. So maybe we pivot away from that. We're like, actually just take Lamar. It's just Josh Allen.

[A]

Yeah, take Josh and Lamar. You know, where all these. Yeah.

[B]

Is Jaden Daniels gonna be one of the better buy the dip players? I mean, he's.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

It's not a big. It's probably not gonna be a super big dip because people still know he's awesome. But it.

[A]

I mean, he violates two rules if the coordinator situation and offense is like, completely unknown. The play caller thing in Washington. And there's a little desperation if Dan Quinn, I think Washington missing the playoffs, might get fired as head coach. But Jaden's, like, talented. He's done it. You're like, he's a lot of conflicting rules.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That could be an episode we do in August. Players who are on both sides. Like, players that rules violate.

[B]

Yeah. That violate multiple rules or whatever.

[A]

Hierarchy. Okay. Anything else you guys want to do with tattoos, Polaroids or anything and then just. We'll hit a couple things to get out of here.

[C]

I'm excited to revisit these in the summer.

[A]

This is. Yeah, it's fun. And again, for those, we are going to open this up like a little time capsule in July and August and we cover. We help you draft your teams. July and August, three, four times a week, and then four times a week during the season. And so we're still going all off season, trades, free agency, everything. So the draft. Danny Kelly, our draft expert here.

[B]

Oh yeah, I'm working on the draft guide.

[A]

NFL Draft, the reaver.com that stuff's all coming. We'll be at the combat in a couple of weeks.

[E]

This episode is brought to you by one of my favorites, Coca Cola. Every sip of Coca Cola brings you closer to the excitement of the FIFA World Cup. 26. You could win one of thousands of prizes and a trip to see three matches. So grab a Coke and drink in the FIFA World Cup. 26. No purchase necessary. 13 plus in 50 US states in DC with a web enabled device ends March 1 with eight entry periods. [e-mail] SoccerRules this episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. And New year means a whole new batch of wellness goals. And Whole Foods Market is the best place to start. From sales on supplements and vitamins, protein powders, probiotics and much more. They've got everything you need to upgrade your routine with ingredients you can trust. You'll also find lean proteins like sustainable wild caught sockeye salmon, plus smart meal shortcuts from the 365 brand like their ready to eat salads. Even dry January is covered with a host of non alcoholic drinks. Shop all things wellness at Whole Foods market. Must be 21 plus in select states.

[A]

Before we get outta here, I wanted to say DK right before the show you text this did you guys know that Miles Garrett was dating Chloe Kim?

[B]

I was vaguely aware of it, but I didn't read into it. I do know that she is five foot three. I looked that up. That's a a that's a big height disparity. But they're very cute. They had. There were some videos that came out this week. Maybe they were out earlier, but I saw them this week of him like going over and talking to her like during games and stuff. Very, very cute relationship. I Chloe, she's in the and she's in the Olympics now.

[A]

Yeah, Chloe Kim's sick.

[C]

He's in Italy watching her.

[A]

I also, I we got a lot of emails about well we could just do this now. This is actually a decent bridge. We start talking about Shaun White being cool for snowboarding and then I got a good email from people who saying Shaun White snowboarders hate Shaun White. Which I can get into that if you want. But then we had somehow in the last episode not one but two arguments about Patrick Mahomes that were totally we.

[B]

Bookended the show with arguments about Patrick.

[C]

In a year where he was the least relevant he's ever been.

[A]

And a lot of these talk shows on cable TV will do anything to fake an argument and invented arguments. We somehow organically quickly disagreed twice. The we have a consensus. A bizarre consensus in the email today on a lot of things. I won the first argument about the Chiefs probably about 60 to 40 and I lost the second argument on the Chiefs about 95 to 5.

[B]

So the first argument was people thought. We thought the Chiefs have a better chance of going to the super bowl.

[A]

Than the Ravens for next season. People pretty firmly that one winning.

[B]

Winning the super bowl.

[A]

I think 9010 in response. But it wasn't that passionate. I would say people were with me that the Ravens are more likely. I would say 9010 people agreed with you guys that Mahomes is not cool. But the fervor honestly was the part that upset me was the disappointment. People were like disappointed that I could possibly think he's cool.

[B]

He's cool blind. He doesn't even know what's cool.

[A]

I could count on one hand the.

[C]

Number your tone deaf and cool death.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't think six people weighed in saying Mahomes is cool. And I don't know what happened. I'm ashamed. But I.

[C]

You got to trust my cool Dar.

[A]

I did.

[C]

I just got shocked.

[A]

I instantly realized Craig's cool Dar. That's a good. We should do that off season segment cool Dar.

[C]

Yeah, I think we should.

[B]

It would be actually a fun show just to talk, just to rank people and coolness. Because it's such a. It is a subjective thing. Sort of.

[A]

But not the funniest was people emailing in earlier being like high Fitz, you were right about the Ravens thing. They're crazy. And then replying like 40 minutes later when they got to it. What the are you talking about? Are you kidding? And then like like on the same thread.

[C]

Following up.

[B]

Hold up, hold up, hold up.

[C]

Circling back on.

[B]

I get so many of those texts where I'm like, someone's like, oh, you guys got to talk about this. And then later in the show they're like oh, sorry, I just caught up.

[A]

You did talk about if it was like boxing. It was like we split the rounds but you guys had a 108 round.

[C]

I do that all the time with Liz. I'm like, Liz, do you know where my phone is? I can't found it.

[A]

So embarrassing.

[B]

Hold on. Cuz I do. Unless it's like something that we would don't want to dig into. What is the Sha White thing? I'm actually oh, no, it's fine.

[A]

Here, I'll. I'll pull it up so it.

[B]

Snowboarders don't think he's cool.

[A]

No, it was. It was actually very eye openening. And I. This one I don't feel bad about.

[B]

Is it like he. Let me just guess.

[C]

He.

[B]

He. He thinks he's cooler than he actually is. He's a skateboarder, snowboarder, plays in a band. Start trying to be an actor.

[A]

Beyond that. This is from Sam S. Bone Sammy. This is again me saying Sean White was cool and he's. I said he was cooler than Phelps. And Sam said, as a snowboarder and snowboarding fan, I have to let you know that among many professionals and fans, Shaun White is considered super lame. During several sellouts or something, he's boot grabbed, which means you're supposed to grab the snowboard, not your boot. I guess it's easier. And including his 100 score X games run and his gold medal run in the 2018 Olympics, he basically just say he didn't get penalized for boot grabbing because he's famous. So people like you get like, he gets riffed differently, they're saying. And people are bitter about it. He said those instances alone would make it sound like I'm just hating. But worst of all, it does. I can't prove anything about. I know, but Sam says Sean White doesn't care about snowboarding or its culture. They say, again, I can't vet any of this. He says he refuses to let other riders use his corporate sponsor built half pipes. He treats competitors like enemies. He views the sport like a job where he just wants to win. It's not really like a camaraderie.

[B]

I can see this. I can see this 100%. He's kind of like a. Yeah, corporate, I guess is the right word. He's a corporate snowboarder. Snowboarding. The. The ethos of snowboarding is a little bit like punk music, where it's counterculture, it's counter establishment. Yeah. And it's. And Craig mentioned this, And I agree 100 with you, Craig, on this. Your point was? I think snowboarding in general is just a style sport. The way that you do tricks is arguably just as important as. As if you could actually do the trick. You know what I mean? The style and grace and coolness that you can do a trick is just as important whether you can fucking land it or not. Skateboarding is kind of similar to that, but I can totally see that because I. I did feel that way, too. He was in, like, every Competition. He was like the face of the X Games. He like, it did feel a little bit like he was getting away from sort of the heart of the sport. That being said, like, obviously fucking really good at it, you know, and he was. I think the other thing that I always thought about Shaun White is he's like really good at multiple sports. He's a good skater, good. Good snowboarder, good musician. I say he surfed too, maybe, but.

[C]

Yeah, I wonder if there's a tinge of jealousy in there because he basically figured out how to break through the mold and become like a global superstar in his sport and no one else has really figured out how to do that.

[A]

So that's the thing is regular people see snowboarding. Like for example, said Sam wrote at the end, if you want some examples of stylish and culture forward snowboarders, I'd recommend Zeb Powell, Torstein Hormo, Red Gerard and Halidor Helgason.

[C]

I've never heard of any of those people.

[A]

Well, that's the issue with all cultures, right? You're like, the people break through. You're like, ah. And then it's like, hey, here are these people. And you're like, I don't know who those people are.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, I get it on both sides. Like if you're, if you're a die hard snowboard snowboarding fan or you snowboard and you follow the sport closely. I can see how Shaun White seems like a corporate sellout.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, brand manager. But then also he's the only people that like, like my mom could probably name who Shaun White was. And you could argue that in that respect he's a massive success. And like everybody would do that if they could. I don't know. Yeah, I wonder.

[A]

All right, before we leave, we have to do it all the people want, which is we got. We asked for teenagers and people in college to email us about clavicular, just remaxing, etc.

[C]

Did we get anyone who is an actual teenager?

[A]

Yes, we did.

[C]

Nice.

[A]

So.

[B]

So they say.

[A]

This is from Anonymous. This is from a Bone.

[C]

A Bone.

[A]

Hello, uncs.

[B]

You guys are unks.

[A]

Hey, bone reds. I'm 18 years old, I'm a high school senior, uncs.

[B]

What does that make me? Gramps.

[A]

Yeah, you're probably gramps. Big protein waffles, a banana guy for breakfast. Occasionally some yogurt and granola mixed in.

[B]

Nice.

[C]

He says, as a high school student, protein maxing.

[A]

I know Protein max. Yeah. I feel I'm about as adequately equipped to answer Your questions as anyone. Not that that says that much. I can tell you that all the kids who know Clavicular, or as we call them, Clav. I just thought that was funny.

[B]

Put parentheses, AKA Clav.

[A]

We know him mostly from clips on Tick Tock, like the ASU frat leader frame moggium. No one actually watches clavicular streams. I'm pretty sure he's the only person in the world who thinks he's the shit. To the rest of the world, clavicular is just a meme. I also don't know anyone that actually bone smashes. At least not yet. Unfortunately, though, clavicular's lingo is becoming mainstream. The other day my friends and I were joking about who framed MOG Zoo and I had no clue what the sentence Craig read meant. Never once have I heard of a Moid. A Foid Chester Gooning or smv.

[B]

Smv.

[A]

Maybe I don't spend enough time on TikTok. Gooning and Maxing, however, are staples of teenage boy vocabulary.

[C]

Yeah, but did clavicular come up with those terms or did somebody else?

[A]

I don't know. So Samantha emailed in to explain that Moids. It's not really moids. It's. That's not. Or, sorry. Moids and Floyds. Floyd's not a female incel. That's a femcel. A void is just actually a derogatory term for women. I think it's just when 15 year old boys don't like a woman, she's a void. So I think that. I don't. I still don't really know what moid means.

[B]

Femcel.

[A]

Forgot the pep. Oh, and this one is from. This one is from Tony at Arizona State Tebow.

[C]

Oh, shit.

[A]

And again, this guy was in the.

[B]

He's in the trenches right now, guys.

[C]

Fucking got his ear to the ground.

[A]

Whole thing's just the waste management open at Arizona State. Okay.

[C]

Yes, seriously, we were there.

[A]

It is also properly rated event.

[C]

Yeah, sure. I want to go again. Yeah.

[B]

I was a little jealous to see people there this year.

[A]

I was like, people were. That is really exactly what you think it is. Tony writes. He says, my name's Tony. My breakfast, scrambled eggs with toast and a premier protein shake.

[C]

Dude, the kids love protein.

[B]

Protein is protein Max.

[A]

Protein Max.

[B]

Did you say that already?

[A]

Yeah, I did. Yes. Tony writes, I'm a student at asu. I would like to answer the questions presented and give you a little more insight in the situation.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

For one, bone smashing. Not a typical practice anymore, but some people actually, I know I know breaking better jawlines not is bone smashing unk.

[C]

Now fun smashing shock. Craig.

[B]

By the way, every time we say bone smashing, one of the slang terms we use when I was like in high school and college was bone smuggling, which is just another way of saying having sex.

[C]

Oh, goodness.

[B]

Bone smuggling.

[A]

Oh, God. Back in my. Back in your day, kids had sex bone smuggling. And now it's how we fracture our bone smuggling to get better lines. Anyway, so Tony writes, some people did actually bone smash a couple years ago when looks maxing was still raw. Ugh.

[B]

Looks maxing for two.

[A]

When I saw that the tweet Craig. Sorry, When I saw the tweet Craig reference. Which. What was it again?

[C]

Oh, I don't.

[A]

I mean, it's like clavicular getting frame mogged.

[C]

Is it better by an ASU frau later? Is that better than it's like Chad fishing.

[B]

Is that more useful?

[A]

Anyway, Tony writes, the only thing I did not know was smv, but everything else is pretty normal speak among people my age. To be honest, I know others who understood this as well. I think gesture gooning was made up for this post because gooning mid gesture max in public is not ideal for cortisol levels. Cortisol spiking usually a negative because it kills gains.

[B]

Oh my God, I hate this shit.

[A]

Foids is a more general term than moids, where moids usually just refers to incels shout out, say munting generally among Gen Z. Just another form of gooning. But you guys did get mogging, correct? And chad fishing in the way these terms in this sentence is just acting like a chad in the club, not over the phone. And lastly, this ASU frat, you know, the ASU frat leader mogged clavicular is this guy named Varys. And it's a foreign student here who saw an extreme explosion of popularity around campus. And there are posters and people. Everyone is constantly talking about all this in my classes this week.

[C]

Wait, so this is Tony who goes to asu.

[A]

Tony goes to asu.

[C]

I think we should. We should sign Tony to be our. Our Gen Z correspondent. Yeah, and once a month he gives us a rundown of. Of what's. Of what's going on with the teens.

[B]

Tony. 100% Tony. This reminds me, can I read. Can I read a tweet? A bunch of people tagged me on this on Twitter and we're asking for a translation essentially. So, Craig, maybe you can do this this time since I'm obviously way too out of the game for the. But this one is pretty, pretty Good. Here. Okay, ready? This is from kickflips on Twitter. Clavicular. Ran into ASU's top frat leader while Jester maxing with gym cells and instantly clocked peak cope. The frat fraud leader went full UV dodge maxing and weight cope maxing. Inflating fake stats to protect frame after being skull mogged. While Clav deep locked in, nuked cortisol stabilized aura and dodged irreversible PSL bleed by a millimeter.

[C]

I think I got 80% of that.

[B]

This is long. Yeah, this is really long. First off, let me just pick out a few things here. Jester maxing. I feel like we know what that is.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

Gym cell. That feels pretty obvious.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Instantly clocked peak cope.

[C]

Like somebody defending themselves because they're. They're. They realize that they're losing. They're.

[B]

They're coping.

[C]

Yeah, coping.

[B]

The frat fraud leader went full UV dodge maxing and weight cope maxing.

[A]

This feels like the bad bunny halftime show where I have to take a beat in the quando. That's when. Yeah, I know that one.

[B]

Inflating fake stats to protect frame after being skull mogged. What's skull mogged? Just like your skull is smaller.

[C]

Is that, like, your face is hotter? I don't know.

[A]

Yeah, I think it's just. I think it's smogging. This is like.

[C]

Like you have a better jawline. Like, your skull is literally more defined. Maybe. I feel like it's probably. You have a better jawline, a better face shape.

[B]

Clav deep locked in nuked cortisol stabilized aura and dodged irreversible PSL bleed by a millimeter. Irreversible PSL bleed.

[C]

Irreversible PSL bleed. What is PSL other than pumpkin spice latte? I love. I love stabilized aura. That's really.

[B]

Well, on that note, I'm apologizing off the bat if some of this is, like, really cancelable type stuff, because I don't know what any of that.

[C]

Well, I also think people are now leaning in and just, like, coming up with shit.

[A]

I think is just. I think you're getting. I feel like that part party. I don't think those terms are real.

[B]

Probably not.

[C]

You should send Trump.

[B]

Scholars maintain.

[C]

I don't understand what any of these guys are saying.

[A]

No one knows what they're saying.

[B]

No one knows.

[A]

These guys are saying.

[C]

If a rapper just read that on stage. But it's in English. But would Trump be happy about that?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

We should. We should like, literally just cop, like, Quote, tweet that and just be like the Trump tweet. But it's for the frame. Frame mogging.

[C]

No one understands what this guy's saying.

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

All right, let's get out of here. Thank you, dk. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, Carlos. Thank you, Austin. Thank you, Cam. Thank you, Abu. Thank you everyone for listening. Emails @ringerfantasy football gmail.com olympics send us. I want to know. I have a new question. I want to know the Olympic sport that would take you the longest to get a medal in like Edge of Tomorrow style. Like every single day. You wait, like maybe it could go 10,000 years. I want to know the one that you think would take the longest to get a medal in. I think it's ski jumping.

[B]

The hardest.

[C]

Who's the guy who ran the six minute mile on skis uphill? That I would take that.

[A]

That like. But it's funny to think about it, cuz then you watch like the guys doing these.

[B]

That guy's aerobic, mon.

[C]

How long would it take me to run a six minute mile uphill on my feet?

[B]

That one though, in the snow?

[A]

That one though, I feel like I could do before the ski jumping where they are jumping, they are doing 7 spins in the air.

[C]

What's the event that Lindsay Von was doing when she got hurt? I could never do that.

[A]

That one. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

You're going 80 miles an hour.

[A]

I want to do the hard.

[B]

Did you see? I don't know if this was at this Olympics or if it was a replay from a previous Olympics, but there was a guy who lost his ski going around one of those turns. You know, he's going 100 miles an hour back up. And then he. And he landed it and somehow managed to kind of like salvage it and keep going. And the announcer like truly had a heart attack. He was like, yeah. And then he's gonna go around.

[A]

Oh my God. And like, kind of like he's like, oh, he landed it. The announcements are funny.

[C]

The top tier of Olympic winter events that I could never do is pretty wide, dude. I mean, yeah, all the skiing, right, the high jump or whatever that's called for skiing. The thing that Lindsey Von got injured in. Dude, figure skating, competitive figure skating, people skating crazy. The guy who did the flip and landed on one skate, I would never ever in my entire life be able to do that.

[A]

It was also so funny because the announcers are incredible. Because the announcers are like, you are. I'm watching people. I'm like, this is the most Amazing thing I've ever seen. The announcers like, oh, too bad. Messed up in the very beginning. So the whole thing doesn't matter now. And they'll have to take it easy. And then they do like six.

[C]

It's like college football. If you lose one game, it's fucking over, Jack.

[A]

It is. It's literally like that. Like, Jackie and I, we were watching the male figure skating, which we had the Lizan Al Gaib guy, the guy who did the dune. We have the American who's like the quad God from Virginia. Oh, you know the quad God. Oh, dude, look up. The quad God routine. It's amazing. Well, the other guy has to go, like, between the guy who gets second and first and the guy in the middle. The announcer is like, see the difference between him and the top tier? He's got all the mo. He's got the moves, but there's no artistry. There's no spectacle. I mean, really, it's like watching like cold butter on toast, you know, it's like, it's like they're just like, oh, yeah, he's got no moves. I'm like, this guy I could never do. What this man is doing is quad God.

[C]

The guy who did the backflip and landed on one skate.

[A]

That is the quad God.

[B]

Quad God.

[C]

And they were like. And here he goes for the backflip triple double axle. And he did it like, that was the hardest thing I've ever seen anyone do.

[B]

I like, high Fitz brought up. It's like Edge of Tomorrow. It's like I would need to have regenerative, like, powers a million years. I'm gonna die every time I try.

[A]

Eventually, I think 4 to 7,000 years.

[B]

Yeah, but he can build Stonehenge in 100 years.

[A]

I would Stonehenge before I could do that.

[B]

I have a question for you guys. Did you see this story? Sorry I didn't run this by you before. Did you see the story about the ski jumpers and the sizes of their crotch?

[A]

Oh, they're ejecting their penises. Yeah, I did see this.

[C]

What?

[B]

So last Olympics, last summer Olympics, we had the high jump pole jump guy whose dick hit the bar. I mean, what's the opposite of a pyrrhic victory? Like, that loss must have gotten him.

[C]

So much crotch maxing.

[B]

Because that is amazing.

[A]

That is what's happening now.

[B]

It's like the greatest loss of all time.

[C]

He literally, like, he, like, bulge mogged.

[B]

You can see his, like, dick hit the pole. Anyway, this is. Apparently the World Anti Doping Agency was Looking into this pearl report, I don't know if it's actually real or not, but that this is. Ski jumpers were manipulating the, like, fabric area of their crotchal region. So in other words, they were crotch maxing. And why. Or girth maxing. Because if you, if you have more fat, they, they like closely monitor the amount of fabric that you have in your crotch or region because otherwise you turn into like a wing essentially, and.

[A]

You have a little more. It's like the, the old like swimming stuff with the suits. It's like aerodynamic thing, wind resistance. And it just, it's something about, it keeps you. It just makes you skeet. You get a longer jump if you get a little more resistance. So they. I don't understand what the cheating is, basically. Is it. They're some kind of stuffing their pants?

[B]

They're, there's. They're putting. They're putting like a Dirk Diggler in there.

[C]

But it's a fact.

[A]

No, it's not just that. They're injecting stuff into their dick.

[B]

Oh, that's right.

[A]

Bigger. It's not like they just stuff something down.

[C]

So it's not a fabric thing. You just need more weight.

[A]

Oh, I just typed in jack dick without any more context. That's horrific.

[B]

Work computer.

[A]

This is a real thing.

[B]

Yeah, there was something. It was. They were injecting their dicks with something to make the surface area and improve. And then therefore the, the wind would catch your crotchal region and allow you. This is like the level of competition you see in the Olympics. It's insane.

[C]

Even if they, if they don't allow this, I would love to see a separate competition where they, they do allow it just, just to see how ridiculous it gets.

[B]

It's like from basketball.

[C]

It's like Armageddon. It's like, do we teach the guys with giant dicks how to ski or do we inject the skiers? The.

[B]

The American, like Olympic committees just looking for the biggest dicks out there.

[A]

God.

[B]

Go, go talk to Chris Jones. Remember when he was running the 40? Yeah.

[A]

Thank you, Lauren.

[B]

Lauren. Thank you. The chain smokers.

[C]

They were a big deal.

[B]

Yeah, they were.

[C]

They were a big deal.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

They are up there with, I, I think the best jobs in the world.

[B]

Okay, explain.

[C]

They are two buddies. I actually don't even. Are they related out of two brothers or friends? I'm not sure what. I think they're friends. They brothers, I don't know who just travel the world and hit play and they, they make music and they're good at it, and they know it works, and I'm sure they spend a lot of time figuring it out in their studio, but, man, they hit play, and they were. They were young when they got popular. They were just, like, going to colleges and just, like, partying and traveling the world, and they have a Vegas residencies, and I'm just like, this is just the coolest job in the world. Once you make the album, you don't even have to sing it. Like. Like, Ariana Grande's got to go sing the songs on stage and travel the world.

[B]

They just have, like, a stage presence. Yeah.

[C]

I mean, they do a lot of work to make it, but once you do, they tour it around like it's a movie.

[B]

It's like if we. If it's like if we recorded a podcast and then went and did a live show and then just played the podcast.

[C]

Correct. It's like if we made 10 podcasts and tour those. Those 10 episodes for three years.

[B]

Can you imagine if we just went.

[A]

There and then we do set up people.

[B]

DJ booth. And we're like, okay, here's the take. Purge from 2024.

[C]

They're not. They're not brothers. So. Yeah. Drew Taggart and Alex Paul. Good for you.

[B]

Well done.

[C]

Yeah. I would. I would kill. They're only 36.

[B]

Life maxing, Craig.

[A]

Life maxing. Life maxing. Crotch mogging. All right, goodbye, everyone.

[D]

Spring break isn't what it used to be.

[B]

It's better this spring.

[D]

Stay three nights and get a $50 Best Western gift card.

[A]

Life's a trip.

[D]

Make the most of it at best Western. Visit bestwestern.com for complete terms and conditions.