Draft Mailbag! Love Vs. Tate, Carson Beck Hate, How Many DKs Can Block Myles Garrett, the Best Feeling in Sports, and Craig's Vegas Check-in

Summary

The Ringer Fantasy Football Show – Episode Summary

Date: April 15, 2026
Episode: Draft Mailbag! Love Vs. Tate, Carson Beck Hate, How Many DKs Can Block Myles Garrett, the Best Feeling in Sports, and Craig’s Vegas Check-in
Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly ("DK"), Craig Horlbeck

Main Theme / Purpose

This episode is a wide-ranging, highly entertaining NFL Draft mailbag featuring listener-submitted questions covering draft rumors, player evaluations, positional value debates, arbitrary football hypotheticals, and pop culture tangents. The trio’s signature blend of irreverent energy and real draft acumen is on full display, all anchored by Craig’s live reports from Las Vegas during Cinemacon.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Corrections: Bills Stadium Not a Dome

• [03:34] Right at the top, they clarify repeated listener complaints: The new Bills stadium is not a dome but features a canopy over stands, leaving the field open to Buffalo’s infamous snow.
• Danny Heifetz: “To summarize, 200 emails: they're building a canopy over the stands, but the field will be open, kind of like a soccer stadium.” [03:34]
• They debate whether Bills fans actually like being snowed on, and joke about missed opportunities for fans to shovel pregame.

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2. Draft “Take Purge” Preview

• [05:09] Announcing the upcoming “take purge” episode, where fans and hosts suspend credibility to unleash their wildest draft takes.

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3. Serious News: Reuben Bain Incident

• [06:05-11:10]
• Heifetz reads a lengthy excerpt of new reporting about Miami draft prospect Reuben Bain’s involvement in a fatal 2024 car accident that had not been publicly known.
• Points of emphasis:
  • NFL teams consider the matter “handled”; it’s unlikely to affect Bain’s draft stock.
  • Notable Quote: “The dirty truth is that teams actually care more about whether he would have lied to them about the incident than actually committing the incident.” – Danny Heifetz [09:37]
  • The lack of field sobriety testing at the scene is particularly suspicious, raising larger questions about college football power dynamics and local law enforcement.
  • They acknowledge the story’s tragic core, express discomfort transitioning back to “football talk,” and compare it with the infamous Laremy Tunsil draft night situation.

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4. Mailbag: Most “Punchable” QB Faces

• [14:25-21:33]
• Daniel emails: “2026 has the most punchable quarterback class faces ever.” Heifetz and DK riff on which QBs look the most “punchable” and invent a historical ranking, including a PowerPoint-esque face-off.
  • Carson Beck is unanimously “Hall of Fame Punchable Face.”
  • They compare past classes and settle on the 2004 class (Eli Manning, Philip Rivers, Roethlisberger) for all-time punchability.
  • Notable Moment: Joking comparison—“It’s like you know it when you see it… like pornography.” [15:47]

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5. Carson Beck: Bad Face, Bad PR, but Good Prospect?

• [22:27-26:07]
• Several emails defend Carson Beck as an overlooked starter, possibly the new Bo Nix.
  • DK: “People that have a bad face and have done sort of infamous things in their private life… they’re going to get downgraded.” [22:55]
  • They question whether on-field leadership (i.e., lack of teammate support) and off-field reputation matter as much as they seem to this year.
  • “If he looked like Jimmy Garoppolo, is he a first round…?” “If you think that doesn’t change stuff, man—welcome to the world!” [25:52]

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6. Min Crosby & Other Draft Jokes

• [26:24-26:54]
• Emailer coins “Min Crosby” as Trey Hendrickson’s nickname (versus Max Crosby): the hosts love it.

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7. Positional Value: Carnell Tate (WR) vs. Jeremiah Love (RB) at #4 for Titans

• [27:02–40:09]
• Multiple Titans fans ask why not draft skill talent—particularly Carnell Tate (WR) or Jeremiah Love (RB)—high.
  • DK and Heifetz walk through positional value: rookie wage scale vs. NFL salaries at RB/WR.
  • DK: “It’s such a misuse of resources to have a running back that high on a team that’s not ready to compete.” [39:03]
  • Craig argues each team drafting is ‘bespoke,’ and for some, taking an elite RB could make sense.

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8. The “Should the Titans/Giants Just Draft a Guard?” Hypothetical

• [37:39–40:09]
• Several question if teams like Titans/Giants should just take the best OL, specifically Vega Ihu-Anyawu.
  • Agreement: Taking a standout interior lineman is defensible, possibly the “safest” move for struggling teams.

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9. "Draft Only Linemen” Theory

• [42:08–42:59]
• Entertaining “Ender’s Game”–style team-building thought experiment: If NFL teams just drafted OL/DL every year and traded surplus for skill positions, would teams be stronger?
  • DK: “It’s harder to field an offensive line than almost anything in football.” [42:59]

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10. Trade Scenarios: Max Crosby, Dexter Lawrence, AJ Brown

• [43:49–47:30]
• Quick-hit trade likelihoods and return values:
  • Max Crosby more likely to be moved than Dexter Lawrence (“once you trade someone, you’ll do it again”).
  • AJ Brown trade hypothetical: would the Patriots, Eagles, or another team give up a future first? Likely yes, especially if Eagles can recoup value after AJB’s prime.

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11. “How Many Copies of You to Block Myles Garrett?” (Football Hypotheticals)

• [65:46–71:31]
• Hilarious debate: How many clones of the average listener would it take to stop Myles Garrett for 3-4 seconds?
  • Josh (6’4”, 240 lbs) guesses “three.” The hosts burst out laughing, suggest 8+ is more realistic: “My toxic trait is thinking three copies of myself could do it—that is so embarrassing for Josh.” [68:11]

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12. Players with Top-5 Highlights Good Enough to Fool History

• [71:44–76:30]
• If someone saw only a player’s best 5 highlights, who would seem greatest?
  • NBA: Lance Stevenson, JaVale McGee.
  • NFL: Marion Barber, Anthony Richardson, Brandon Lloyd ("the objective answer" per DK).
  • “Freak athletes who sometimes make the coolest play you’ve seen all year, but aren’t all that good.”

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13. Coolest Feeling in Sports

• [82:46–88:11]
• DK posits: Is there any cooler accomplishment in sports than hitting a walk-off home run?
• Agreed: No—because the moment centers visually/emotionally on the player, not the ball, and is a “victory lap.”
• Memorable Moment: “You get to round the bases. There’s a celebration tour. It’s fucking amazing. You’re literally taking a fucking lap.” – DK [86:28]

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14. Craig’s Vegas (Cinemacon) Check-In

• [97:01–104:57]
• Craig shares impressions of Vegas:
  • Saw the first trailer for the Social Network sequel (Jeremy Strong as Zuck).
  • General amazement at Vegas’ “old school, surreal” energy and architecture.
  • Plans to visit the Sphere and various shows.
  • “Nobody pull out a phone, nobody tell me what time it is…inside a Caesar’s Palace you are like, transported.” [101:13]
  • Discussion of Vegas food ranks (Eggslut, “Waffle Hoe” idea, etc.)

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15. Miscellaneous: Podcast & Listener Shenanigans

• Arrested Development Easter Sermon Challenge ([92:02–96:39]): Listener asks hosts to pick a line he must sneak into his next sermon. Runner-up: “I don’t care for Job.” (the Book of Job).
• Running gags about naming agency "name brand," rebranding draft prospects for PR.
• Riffing on generational divides—80s/90s analog internet, magazine porn in the woods (Craig incredulous).

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On the Bills’ stadium: “We don’t bury corrections. We put them at the top. We’re not afraid.” – Danny Heifetz [04:50]

• On ‘punchable’ QBs: “It’s like you know it when you see it…like pornography.” – Craig [15:47]

• On draft analysis fatigue: “I can’t start an argument with you guys every episode, right?” – Danny Kelly [03:06]

• On positional value: “It is such a misuse of resources to have a running back that high on a team that’s not ready to compete.” – DK [39:03]

• On Myles Garrett hypothetical: “Josh says, 'my toxic trait is I think three copies of myself could do the job.' That is so embarrassing for Josh.” – Heifetz [68:11]

• On the best feeling in sports: “You’re literally taking a fucking lap. It’s an actual victory lap that you have to do. You’re supposed to.” – DK [86:43]

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Important Timestamps

• [03:34] – Bills stadium correction
• [06:05-11:10] – Reuben Bain incident & ethics of draft evaluation
• [14:25–21:33] – “Most punchable” QB class face-off
• [22:27–26:07] – Carson Beck: Good prospect/bad PR debate
• [27:02–40:09] – Positional value: RB/WR at #4, Titans strategy
• [43:49–47:30] – Trade targets: Crosby, Lawrence, AJ Brown
• [65:46–71:31] – How many clones to block Myles Garrett?
• [71:44–76:30] – Top-5 highlight “fake HOFers”
• [82:46–88:11] – Coolest feeling in sports, walk-off homer discussion
• [97:01–104:57] – Craig’s Vegas/Cinemacon check-in

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Language & Tone

The language is irreverent, conversational, and marked by inside jokes, digressions, and playful teasing (especially about looks, generational divides, and sports hypotheticals). Despite the tone, the football/nfl draft analysis is well-informed, at times cynical about how the league handles serious incidents and how teams think about player evaluation.

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For Listeners Who Missed The Episode

This episode is essential pre-draft entertainment—both deeply knowledgeable and extremely silly. The hosts move rapidly from careful breakdowns of positional value to the most ridiculous listener hypotheticals, all while infusing personal asides and pop culture references.

If you want:

• To understand the real factors behind big draft decisions (RB/WR prioritization, salary cap implications, team-building philosophies)
• To hear genuinely fresh listener questions and host banter that goes way beyond “standard” draft talk
• To laugh at the bizarre cross-section of sports, culture, and everyday life

Listen to:

• The “Most Punchable QB” debate [14:25–21:33]
• The full breakdown of why it’s so hard for NFL teams to do “the responsible thing” in the draft [37:06–40:09]
• Craig’s Vegas travelogue [97:01–104:57]
• The on-field and off-field “clone” hypotheticals [65:46–71:31]

And don’t miss:

• The walk-off home run as the “coolest feeling in sports” segment [82:46–88:11]
• Running tally of which podcast listener’s dad is responsible for LeBron James’ basketball IQ [90:51]

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Episode Structure

I. Warm-up / Corrections / Headlines
II. Serious Draft News (Bain incident)
III. Mailbag: QB Punchability, Player Value, Clones vs. Myles Garrett, etc.
IV. Mock Draft Strategy & Trades
V. Outrageous Listener Theories (who “inspired” LeBron, etc.)
VI. Pop Culture & Vegas Check-In

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For questions, purges, or feedback, email: [e-mail]

Transcript

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[Danny Heifetz]

Welcome to the Ringer NFL draft show. My name is Danny Heifers and I'm joined by Danny Kalm, Craig Korlbeck, who is in Las Vegas, baby, having a

[Craig Korlbeck]

blast here for Cinemacon. You know, that's why you go to Vegas for Cinemacon. For movies. For the movies.

[Danny Heifetz]

Cinemacon. Isn't that in the studio?

[Craig Korlbeck]

It is in this. You're talking about the television show, the studio.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yes, it is. There is two episodes about them going to Cinemacon. That's right. With Matt Bellamy as the villain of those two episodes.

[Danny Kalm]

Who you are with right now.

[Craig Korlbeck]

That's right. Not. Well, not right the second, but yes.

[Danny Heifetz]

No, Craig just revealing to us. Once the show came, he's like, by the way, I had to record some lines for Seth Rogen's show with Matt and I was like, okay, I can't believe you kept that to yourself. Than.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Well, not my voice wasn't in the show. I recorded lens format.

[Danny Heifetz]

But yeah, yeah. Anyway, we're going to go through a mailbag here with just a bunch of random thoughts on the draft. Questions about players. Teams needs all the Bills fans pissed that we keep thinking that they're building a dome. They're not.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I love it. I'll. We'll never get it right.

[Danny Kalm]

I will say it did not sound right to me when you.

[Craig Korlbeck]

No, no, no.

[Danny Heifetz]

I can't tell you.

[Danny Kalm]

You could see my, my incredibility there.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Why don't you speak up then saying,

[Danny Heifetz]

I, I thought it was wrong, but

[Craig Korlbeck]

nothing about it more than someone being like, oh yeah, like a week later. I actually, I thought you guys were wrong.

[Danny Heifetz]

That sounds like something I would say. Frankly. You're above that.

[Danny Kalm]

I can't start, I can't start an argument with you guys every episode. Right?

[Danny Heifetz]

It's not an argument. You could have just googled it. That's not an argument.

[Danny Kalm]

I just. So here's the deal. I didn't care that much.

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, let me tell you, the Bills fans, I asked for mailbag questions. We got far more Bills fans being like, it's not a dome, you idiots. So.

[Craig Korlbeck]

So it is fully open.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's it. I'll get to it in a moment. Okay. Anyway, we'll get, we'll get. Should we just do it now? Corrections at the top. Like responsible and we don't, we don't bury corrections. We put them right at the beginning. We said, they're building a dome.

[Danny Kalm]

We've acknowledged it.

[Danny Heifetz]

To summarize, 200 emails. They're building a canopy over the stands, but the field will be open, kind of like a soccer stadium. And Bill's fans are kind of pissed because it's taking a long time. Obviously it's shocking. It's more money than it costs. But the problem is, I guess is the stadium actually is in the part of Buffalo that gets the most snow, you know, in the entire. Like there are times that people will get 6 inches of snow in downtown Buffalo, but the stadium will get 10ft. It's in like the most lake effect, lake part snow vortex.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I mean it's right next to the old Bill stadium, right? It's like a thousand feet away.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yes. But it's. Anyway, it's. They're going to get a lot of

[Craig Korlbeck]

Bills fans are like trying to protect the fans, but the players will still get snowed on.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yes. And they will not be able to have concerts there. Like it's not going to be a multi use facility. Like it will have kind of awesome.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Do you think the fans, what percentage of fans like Die Hards are like, if they're, if my, if my Josh Allen's getting snowed on, I want to get snowed on. And what percentage do you think is like I'M happy that I won't be freezing in snow during these games.

[Danny Heifetz]

They're probably pissed they don't have to go help shovel anymore before the games. They have to volunteers to come in to shovel the snow.

[Craig Korlbeck]

As somebody who doesn't live in Buffalo and has never experienced that, I can't tell if that's like a sneaky joy where it's like, no, no, you don't get it. It's part of it. Or if they're like, I'd love to get rid of freezing my ass off every game. I don't know.

[Danny Heifetz]

We'll see. Well, it's not a dumb. So correction. There you go. We don't bury corrections. We put them at the top. We're not afraid. Okay, we're gonna get to the mailbag and just remember we're gonna do the take purge next week as well. So please keep emailing your purges the take. You know we're suspending all professional credibility. So we've gotten some excellent ones so far. And please keep sitting.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Should we. Are we going to read a few on the take purge? We read the the three best listener purges.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, absolutely. I. We might get enough. There's a chance we have to do a follow up mini purge.

[Danny Kalm]

Like again, just fan only purge.

[Danny Heifetz]

We might have to. Craig's going to do his like insider insider mock draft. But we might have to like we have a lot of purges that are pretty good.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Speaking of, I've kind of. I've begun reaching out to my sources and let's just say there's a lot out there. You just got to go grab it and I'm.

[Danny Heifetz]

And I'm grabbing. Okay.

[Craig Korlbeck]

So.

[Danny Kalm]

Well, I can't wait.

[Craig Korlbeck]

My. My mock will be robust and juicy.

[Danny Heifetz]

We're going to get you two phones for that.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, I might need a third. I need a headset. I'm looking. I'm looking to get a headset.

[Danny Heifetz]

So we'll see the Ari Gold. Okay, before we get to the mailbag, I want to get to this piece of news. So this Ollie Connolly who actually a substack we were talking about two weeks ago because I think it is the best substack name of anything. It's called read optional.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, it's good.

[Danny Heifetz]

Which say what you want about the AL is reporting this week. That is certainly the best name you can have for a football related substack is really good. That's not up for debate. Yeah but it came out like this pretty serious report came out. So Ruben Bane and I'm just going to read directly from Olly Connolly's article this week at his substack. I'm just going to read a pretty long section quoting it, but he says so Reuben Bain was involved in a fatal traffic collision in Miami in March 2024, according to records and reports reviewed by the REIT. Optional the incident has not been previously reported. Bain, then a sophomore at the University of Miami, was driving on Interstate 95 in Miami at 4am on March 17, 2024 when his vehicle struck another car before careening into concrete barriers on both sides of the highway, according to police crash records reviewed by the read. Optional One of four passengers in Bain's car, Destiny Betts, a 22 year old college student from Georgia who was visiting Miami for spring break, suffered incapacitating injuries and was rushed to the Rider Trauma center for the scene. She never regained consciousness. Betts died on June 13, 2024 after spending almost three months in a coma. The police crash report states that Bain quote operated his vehicle in a careless or negligent manager and quote from the police report and then the read optional post continues that no field sobriety test was administered at the scene. This is just my words, not Ali Connolly's. But I just want to note March, this is March 17, 2024. So that's St. Patrick's Day. So it's Sunday morning. But this is 4:00am on the Saturday night into Sunday morning of St. Patrick's Day weekend in Miami and there was no field sobriety test administered, which I think is notable. And then Olly Connelly had another post that just basically said Reuben Bain was again cited for careless driving again in 2025. The other thing I wanted to note is again in this article Ali Connolly has a statement from the family of the young woman who passed. And the family statement said that Destiny's passing was the result of a tragic accident that occurred several years ago. While the loss remains incredibly painful for our family, we have worked hard to find peace and move forward. At this time we are not seeking public attention surrounding this tragedy and respectfully request that our family's privacy be honored. We also wish Mr. Bain the best as he continues his life and career. End quote. Lots to take from this. I don't know it was all thing about this about well NFL teams are aware of this. I mean to be honest, I didn't know about it. I feel like most people following the draft, covering the draft this was kind of news to like a lot of people. And then there was some people were like well teams are aware of it I never really know the right way to go from. Here's this unspeakable tragedy where this young woman lost her life anyway. Do you think Washington's going to take Reuben Bain at 7? I never really know the right way to do that. But to be honest, I don't think teams give a shit about it. But it's, it's horrible. I mean, it's a horrible story. Yeah.

[Danny Kalm]

I mean, again, totally agree. Hard, hard to talk about this just from a football point of view, but I saw some reporting from CBS's Jonathan Jones that said that basically teams consider this a matter handled.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Kalm]

Which to me is the way that, that wording is kind of put down is that they don't. This doesn't really affect his draft, you know, prospects or whatever. So obviously horrific situation.

[Craig Korlbeck]

But this is a single case at least right now. And it feels like for unfortunately or however you, you view this, like it's probably not going to affect what happens to him on draft day.

[Danny Heifetz]

The dirty truth is that teams actually care more about whether he would have lied to them about the incident than actually committing the incident themselves. Because they're basically, they're, I think the NFL team's policies. You have to be honest with us. If not the police or other people. I matter handled is a good way to put it. I got to tell you, of all the scandal involved here, I think the fact that there was no field sobriety test administered is, to me, that actually is the story. I don't know what happened here, obviously, but all these teams have a Ray Donovan or whatever, a fixer who's a Big Dom. And we joke about Big Dom, but Big Dom's job really is head of security is to have relationships with police in the city and locally and to scout these guys. And all these colleges obviously do too. I don't know what happened to your agents. What reading the story, that was honestly my, my, my big takeaway was there was a car crash that someone ended up in a coma on the Saturday night, Sunday morning, St. Patrick's Day at four in the morning. And they didn't do a field sobriety test.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Unfortunately, that happens all the time. I know a couple of stories about guys in college who did some crazy things and cops turn the other way. And that's how it goes, unfortunately.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah. So I don't really have anything particularly insightful to say. It's very sad that this woman died and the teams don't care. And I wish I had something more ele what you said.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I think, I think it's crazy that no one knew this or I know the teams are claiming they did, but I'm surprised that this had not come out.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, me too. Yeah, there's. There's probably a whole media thing to do on that. I'll leave that to the press box and Brian Curtis, but sure. I don't know. Dk, anything. You're the wiser one. Anything you want to say about this? I wish I had something smarter or wiser to add.

[Danny Kalm]

No, it. It was one of those classic situations, though, where after this was reported and it came out all from Ollie's story that. And then all the, all the big reporters came out and said, yeah, yeah, we've. We've known about this for months.

[Craig Korlbeck]

It's like, oh, okay, thanks. Nobody said anything nobody wanted to say.

[Danny Kalm]

Kind of a weird. Kind of a weird thing that happens. But yeah, basically teams have known about this. That's not coming to as a surprise to them, I think. You know, in the story, it's refer the. The. The Laramie Tunsil situation was mentioned in the story. Basically comparing the surprise that teams felt not during when that happened. Totally, totally different situation.

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, just to recap that, because I hate to age ourselves, but that was like 11 years ago. So Laramie Tunil was basically the top tackle in that draft. And then the day of the draft,

[Craig Korlbeck]

he was going to be the first pick of the draft, wasn't he?

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, he was. He very, very, very high in the 2015 draft. And Larry May Tunel, a video came out of him in a gas mask bong, which for people probably of Craig's and I's generation is something we probably knew existed. And you can buy in, like, I know you want to talk about market

[Craig Korlbeck]

things is like that being a massive, massive scandal. You know, I get it to a degree, but like, okay.

[Danny Heifetz]

But also it's a good mix of weed at that time. I mean, now it's like actually legal and fine, but like a. A decade ago, the combination of weed. But also it just looked crazy, like he's wearing gas. But it's like it's just a novelty item you can buy in a beachfront store for like, $11.

[Craig Korlbeck]

He looks like he was in like, SWAT gear smoking weed.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, you look. It's like you're like either like gas mouse bomb makes you look somewhere between the Illuminati and like, terrorist drugs. Like, it's actually insane. And what year was that? 2015, I think. But it's like, imagine trying to explain to like, Jerry Jones what a gas mask bong Is.

[Craig Korlbeck]

But you can actually efficiently get high that way. Yeah, yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

No, it's. It's funny because, like, you're at the beach, really. Exactly. It's.

[Danny Kalm]

I feel like 2016 on the. The public, I guess, perception or reaction to weird stuff. Like, you know, I mean, we've just been inundated with stuff since 2016.

[Craig Korlbeck]

What happened in 2016?

[Danny Kalm]

I'm picking that date out of. Out of thin air. There's nothing that, you know that happened in particular that year. Nothing matters. 2016 on. At that point in 2015, though, this

[Craig Korlbeck]

was like, 2016, craziest year in sports of our lifetime. Everything crazy.

[Danny Heifetz]

It was craziest year of our lifetime. I would argue. I, I. That probably should be the smartest analysis we have with all news. It's like. Yeah, it's probably doesn't. There's no one. This probably will be forgotten.

[Danny Kalm]

Yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

All right, let's get to the mailbag.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, yeah, sorry. Craig's like, jesus, guys make the vibes worse. Yeah, Craig's like, I'm in Vegas. Can we pick it up a little here? Okay, so I want to get to the mailbag. Harsh vibes. Pivot here. Thank you to everyone. Emailed in at Ringer fantasy football gmail dot com. And again, please email your take purges and everything else for the draft. But I want to start with a great thing we got here from Daniel T Bone Danny. Okay. I thought you would say something. Delay to Vegas.

[Danny Kalm]

You just on vacation.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Honestly, I was looking at that Esquire cover of Fernando Mendes.

[Danny Kalm]

Oh, yeah, that one took your breath away.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, because I'm in his city. You know what I mean?

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, yeah, totally. This is my fucking city. Daniel writes for breakfast today at a glass of water.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Okay.

[Danny Kalm]

Okay.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Okay, King. Okay.

[Danny Kalm]

Trim flex.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Snatched. King.

[Danny Heifetz]

So Daniel writes. My thesis is that the 2026 quarterback class has the highest percentage of quarterbacks with extremely punchable faces of any quarterback class in the history of the NFL.

[Danny Kalm]

Okay.

[Danny Heifetz]

And when I say punchable, I'm purely referring to the fact that when you look at this guy's face, it unlocks a primal urge to punch that guy in the face.

[Danny Kalm]

Sure.

[Danny Heifetz]

And out of the quarterbacks you guys discussed in the podcast, in my opinion, the only ones that don't have punchable faces are Ty Simpson and Taylor Green. But Fernando Mendoza, Garrett Nussmeier, Drew Aller, and Carson Beck. Regardless of how much I may like their game, their faces scream that they need to be punched.

[Danny Kalm]

First of all, I'm shocked that he doesn't think Ty Simpson has A punchable face. I mean, look, I have a punchable. I have a punchable face, so I can say stuff like this.

[Danny Heifetz]

You were podcasters.

[Danny Kalm]

Yeah, I. I have a face for radio.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I gotta say. I think Carson beck is clear 101, right?

[Danny Heifetz]

Carson Beck. So I said I actually put women. So undoubtedly, first of all, Daniel here ranked the guys in his class. Carson Beck, Nuss Meyer, Drew Aller Mendez. I'm sending you guys, I made a Google Doc and I'm gonna send it to you guys right now. But I actually put their faces in a doc and then don't scroll down too far because I'm going to send it to you right now. But I did a bunch of research, but I will start this class. I do think Carson Beck has like hall of fame punchable face. Yeah, that's.

[Danny Kalm]

That's been a. That's been a storyline for a while. Bad face.

[Danny Heifetz]

And he's got the Punch Darnold thing. So Mendoza, though, kind of does too.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I think he does a little bit. I. We will. I don't know if we want to try to get into the actual reasons why someone has a punch of face because I'm not even sure I know. It's like, you know it when you see pornography. That's it.

[Danny Kalm]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

I know it when I see it. Drew Aller. It's the hair.

[Craig Korlbeck]

It's the hair for Drew. I agree.

[Danny Heifetz]

Because he's doing the. The Jake, Paul Logan Paul hair, but as a brunette. Which man, that's somehow more punchable.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I think Nussmeyer is the only one I quibble with

[Danny Kalm]

a pretty normal he. Maybe he. Maybe it's just because he looks to me like he's 34 years old.

[Danny Heifetz]

He looks like a coach. He looks like. Honestly, if I told you, hey, look, is that crazy? That's Clint Kubiak. You'd be like, yeah, yeah, I totally believe. Like, he looks like he could just be.

[Danny Kalm]

Especially next to Drew Aller. It like these guys look like they're about 15 years apart.

[Craig Korlbeck]

How big and strong he is. He looks like he's 17 years old.

[Danny Heifetz]

Drew Aller looks like he could be 16. I agree. He could go driving test. He could go to a driver's school. Wouldn't be weird. And then Nussmeier, if, like, you listening right now, don't know what Clint Kubiak looks like. You. I could just convince you that's him for sure.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Someone. I'd be like, yeah, yeah, sure.

[Danny Kalm]

This guy, Daniel, whoever sent this email, is he. Is he an Alabama fan? Why Is why is Ty escaping this conversation? Well, he looks a little bit to me like Eli Manning. I'm. I'm gonna send this to you. I mean, there's. There's some punchability there.

[Danny Heifetz]

What are you saying? Eli Manning's punchable?

[Danny Kalm]

Yes.

[Danny Heifetz]

So here's Mike. He does look a little. He looks like Daniel Jones. Eli, here's my question. I wanted it.

[Danny Kalm]

He does. Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

I wanted to address the most punchable class of all time on quarterbacks. I only went 21st century because, you know, I don't know, I feel like I can't assess the punchability of someone in the 90s. 80s. Feel like a change, different time.

[Danny Kalm]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I wanna. Wait, so you have a different class that is more punchable than this one.

[Danny Heifetz]

I want to talk to you guys about other punchable classes. So I think honestly have to start 2013. Smith, Mike Glenn, and Matt Barkley. Because, you know, Smith actually got punched in the face by a teammate. Okay, so I have to start there. But I think 2010, Sam Bradford, Tim Tebow, Jimmy Clawson, Colt McCoy. Sam Bradford, I think has a punch.

[Danny Kalm]

Sam Bradford for. I mean, if you Google Sam Bradford and just look at the images, every one of him, every image of him throwing, he looks like he's about to get hit by a train.

[Craig Korlbeck]

But, like,

[Danny Kalm]

the shock and fear on his eyes, in his eyes, is palpable. It's. I. I mean, you can feel it. I don't know, the way that he look. Makes his face while he's throwing, I. It's never going to leave my memory.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I got a couple challenges here, though. Can I give you. Can I offer you 2019. Kyler Murray, Daniel Jones, Drew Lock, Will Greer, Easton Stick, Jared Stum.

[Danny Heifetz]

Drew Lock is a very punchable face. I will not argue that for a moment. Kyler.

[Danny Kalm]

I look at these Sam Bradford pictures.

[Danny Heifetz]

I'm sorry, Sam Bradford's crazy. Craig, That's a good one.

[Danny Kalm]

You guys gotta look at these. Sam Bradford throwing. Just look at his eyes.

[Craig Korlbeck]

You gotta do it.

[Danny Kalm]

I'm not kidding. Pause.

[Danny Heifetz]

The show does look crazy in all these photos.

[Danny Kalm]

It's hilarious. I remember this so vividly from. From early in his career. I'm like, does he just looks like this every time he throws a football? Anyway, continue. What were you saying? Hi, Fitz.

[Danny Heifetz]

So, no, well, no, that. I think that's a good point about Bradford. So do you. Do you think that's punchable or not? I don't know about punchable. So maybe that's out. So here's the other one.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Craig.

[Danny Heifetz]

2019. Is good 2014. About to get punched. Blake Bortles, Johnny Menzel, Teddy Bridgewater, you couldn't punch him. But Derek Carr, Jimmy Garoppolo.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Oh, Garoppolo is not punchable.

[Danny Kalm]

He's punchable because you're jealous.

[Danny Heifetz]

Too hot.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, yeah.

[Danny Kalm]

You just want to punch Mr. Stole your girl.

[Danny Heifetz]

I think these guys are punchable in personality, but not in face. I think Manziel Bortles, Derek Carr, Jimmy G. I know too much about them, so that's why I want to punch him. So I want to give you the one that I think is the most punchable of all time. And it's obvious it's a. Now you can scroll down this. Doc, I said you go to the bottom. I think it's 2004. It's Eli Manning, Phil Rivers and Roethlisberger. Look at these guys in college, dude. Phil Rivers in particular. Roethlisberger. I think Phil Rivers, SC State is the most punchable quarterback in the 21st century. Look at his face in colle.

[Craig Korlbeck]

What.

[Danny Kalm]

What year was Roethlisberger drafted?

[Danny Heifetz]

04. They're all 04.

[Danny Kalm]

Oh, yeah, sorry.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Duh.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's like the 03 NBA draft where it's like LeBron, you know, Wade, Dwayne Wade, all these guys.

[Danny Kalm]

It's like the Roethlisberger, like tiny little, just chin strap, goatee and Matt shop.

[Danny Heifetz]

Also quietly very punchable face in that draft. I think that that's the. I think that's the most punchable face.

[Danny Kalm]

Yeah. Who is this person on the bottom? That's Matt shot. I don't recognize this person.

[Danny Heifetz]

Phil. Look at Phil Rivers at NC State.

[Danny Kalm]

Phil Rivers. Speaking of Phil Rivers and Sam Bradford and Phil Rivers throwing face are up there as the two greatest of all time.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I think is has a very punchable face.

[Danny Heifetz]

You're right.

[Danny Kalm]

Can you google Phil Rivers throwing?

[Danny Heifetz]

Imagine that guy coming up to you and be like, you like that?

[Craig Korlbeck]

Oh, my gosh. Dad gummet.

[Danny Heifetz]

Dad gummet.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Shoot.

[Danny Heifetz]

You couldn't hit the broad side of a bar in oil deck. I had to shoot.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Ah, shoot.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh.

[Danny Kalm]

Oh, my God.

[Danny Heifetz]

I feel you like apples.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, I do. Thank you for asking.

[Danny Heifetz]

Anyway, yeah, Roethlisberger.

[Danny Kalm]

Roethlisberger is holding a lot. I mean, he's doing a lot.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Big Ben's facial hair situation is a mess. That is a disaster. It's like a half goatee. It's just the bottom coming up. But it's like coming up, but it stops.

[Danny Kalm]

Guys, I hate to tell you this. I was in college during this era and this was What a lot of dudes were, were rocking at the time. Just the little chinstrap goat.

[Craig Korlbeck]

It's no good.

[Danny Heifetz]

No. Okay. So I'm glad we got the settlement. The second most punchable quarterback class. Okay. Face only. No offense to their games.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Okay.

[Danny Heifetz]

So now into an important, well, less important question. But this is from Morgan.

[Danny Kalm]

Morgan Embone.

[Danny Heifetz]

This was a take purge. I didn't really think it was take purge enough. They sent it as a purge. I just thought it was like a point and I wanted to ask it to you. DK Morgan writes that Carson Beck should be an NFL starting quarterback and it drives me crazy. Nobody's talking about it. Carson Beck is basically this year's bonix. You want an experienced starter who can play under the bright lights, knows how to run an offense. Carson Beck's your guy. The interceptions to end the game thing is crazy overblown. It's like if your team's behind and you're running out of time, you're going to try to make big time throws and that's just where like interceptions might happen. Also the Morgan basically says that me constantly making fun of all of Carson Beck snapchats are ridiculous because do you think these other quarterbacks have not been sending snapchats of their dicks to women in college? Because you're wrong.

[Danny Kalm]

The Drew Aller allegations. So the Drew Aller allegations were rottweiled.

[Craig Korlbeck]

It's tough because allergic if you will

[Danny Heifetz]

the allergies Drew allegations. It's tough because there are. Craig, Everyone is photoshopped. A snapchat of some kind of quarterback setting it to someone. The Drew Aller one seems the most realistic. But also I do think that one's photoshopped. But also it's harrowing. I'll let everyone discover it on their own.

[Danny Kalm]

Okay, so this guy's contention is that, that Carson Beck.

[Danny Heifetz]

Sorry should be a starter. Carson Beck is basically as a third round pick is the perfect third run quarterback and he can be. He could be a starter.

[Craig Korlbeck]

The question is, is Carson Beck just suffering from bad PR and bad face.

[Danny Kalm]

Bad face? Yeah, I think so. I think there's, there's at least a strong chance of that. People that people that have a bad face and have done things that sort of infamous things in their private life, I think get, you know, they're going to get down, they're going to get downgraded a little bit. If you look at what he's done on the field though, I think 43 starts does stand out to me in a draft where ty Simpson's got 15 and he's talking about as a first round pick. I kind of understand this. Take Carson back. Has he has ideal size or at least close to prototypical size. He has a pretty good arm. Again, big game experience. I, I agree actually with the contention that like especially that, that pick against Indiana that kind of sealed the national championship game. I'm like, they're trying to go down the field and score. He's got to push the ball down the field. There's not that much time left. The decision making is, is a issue. But I mean on and off the.

[Danny Heifetz]

I think the thing with Carson Beck and I, I said this in the quarterback episode and I'll reiterate it. I think the question is he doesn't have. Well, he actually does have the size. I think Carson Beck six, five. Like, I mean he's like he's two. I almost said three.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Carson Beck doesn't run.

[Danny Heifetz]

Exactly. And I think that the other thing is that, you know, it's a cliche but 90% of the time, 95% of the time at the quarterback you ask the teammates and you're like, and they're like, oh my God, he's a leader. I'd run through a wall for him. You do that and you, most of the time you're like, yeah, of course they're going to say that. Like, why do you ask the question? And you ask the question because one out of 20 times like, yeah, yeah, good guy. And that's it. And I think that Carson and it's, I think teams are wondering like Georgia didn't really see. The players didn't really seem to like Carson Beck at Miami. They obviously did because they were winning. But like Carson Beck threw teammates under the bus in the middle of the season when they lost. I think that to me, like, doesn't

[Craig Korlbeck]

the comparison stop after. It's like they both played a lot of games and were productive. It's like I agree Bo Nix is like a more dynamic player. Like even his college stats were better. Like he had a better.

[Danny Heifetz]

He has a better arm.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, a better arm. He had like just more production, better completion percentage, more touchdowns, better touchdown interception ratio and is way, way more mobile.

[Danny Heifetz]

And Carson Beck got Tommy John and I, I was number one. I don't know about Boomer Bo Nix's arm because he was so old, but like he threw like a third of his passes behind the line of scrimmage. But like we've seen Bonix does have at times has had incredible throws in the NFL. But so I, I Agree.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Maybe we're only saying this because Bo Nicks has been successful in the NFL. And the opinion we had of Bo Nicks coming out of college, maybe that should be how we feel about Carson Beck coming out of college. But it's hard to separate now that Bo Nix has been pretty successful.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, totally. So, yeah, I think Carson. I think third round pick. That's fine. And if you want to do like late second. Sure.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Do you think if he looked like Chris Pine, he would be a first round pick? Dk.

[Danny Kalm]

Yes.

[Danny Heifetz]

Second rounder.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yes, you do. He looks like Jimmy Garoppolo. Is he a first round.

[Danny Kalm]

No, no, no.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yes. I just know he's a second round pick. I do think a full round hire, it would help look like Jimmy.

[Danny Kalm]

Do it hot.

[Danny Heifetz]

A little.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Kidding.

[Danny Heifetz]

If you think that doesn't change stuff, man.

[Danny Kalm]

Dude, welcome to the world.

[Danny Heifetz]

She looked like Carson Beck. He's not a second round.

[Craig Korlbeck]

He's not in the league.

[Danny Heifetz]

He's not a second round thing. There's that. That is fact, Craig.

[Danny Kalm]

If you didn't look like you look, where would we be, you know?

[Craig Korlbeck]

Oh, please.

[Danny Kalm]

That's what. That's what I always wonder.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, that's true. Would it be on Netflix?

[Craig Korlbeck]

We weren't on video for five years. You know, that's true.

[Danny Heifetz]

Ted Serenos in a meeting.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Let us go.

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't know. Okay. Email here. We got an email from Ryan Rye guy.

[Danny Kalm]

Our bone.

[Danny Heifetz]

Can you guys just refer to Trey Hendrickson as Min Crosby from now on?

[Craig Korlbeck]

Min Crosby.

[Danny Heifetz]

Max Crosby and then Min Crosby. Oh, I think that's just a yes. I think that's great. We transactions. Min Crosby.

[Danny Kalm]

I like two ends. The two ends. Like.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, two ends. Yeah, it's two ends. Like Max has two X's. It's Min Crosby.

[Danny Kalm]

I think that's a Crosby.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Minimum Crosby.

[Danny Heifetz]

Minimum Crosby. I think that's great.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, I do.

[Danny Heifetz]

I think that's just a yes. We got this one from Rob, but we actually got multiple Titans fans sent in a version of this question. I'm going to read Rob's. But it was.

[Danny Kalm]

All right.

[Danny Heifetz]

So Rob's breakfast Arbonne. My breakfast was a homemade egg and cheese sandwich, two eggs over medium with melted cheddar, toasted rye bread and a quarter of cold brew. Coffee. A quart of cold brew. How much is a quart again?

[Danny Kalm]

That's enough to get you going.

[Danny Heifetz]

Cold brew is more powerful than regular cold brew feels.

[Danny Kalm]

Especially just.

[Danny Heifetz]

That's like what Van Lathen was doing when he thought cold brew was weaker. So he drank more of it and then he like couldn't really sit still. Yeah, he did a two hour show.

[Danny Kalm]

Heart's having palpitations.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Also, who says court?

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't know.

[Danny Kalm]

I don't know. Maybe that's what it comes in.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Craig, a chord is gigantic.

[Danny Heifetz]

A court of cold brew is like you're a truck driver. That's what. Like that's insane. Like I'm just trying to get cold brews.

[Craig Korlbeck]

A court is 32 ounces.

[Danny Heifetz]

That's fucking crazy. So that's what four cups of. How much is a Trent at Starbucks?

[Craig Korlbeck]

30 ounces.

[Danny Heifetz]

So this is more than a Trent of cold brew. That's fucking psychotic.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Wow.

[Danny Heifetz]

Right? Guy Rob, email and tell us what you do for work.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Why?

[Danny Heifetz]

You better have a newborn or that's insane.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Anyway, the breakfast.

[Danny Kalm]

How many ounces are in a Nalgene now?

[Danny Heifetz]

Genes are old, bro. First of all, they smell awful and like they spill. I can never drink a Nalgene.

[Danny Kalm]

Remember that algae craze?

[Craig Korlbeck]

I'm gonna be 100 honest with you guys. I don't know what that is.

[Danny Heifetz]

Original water bottle of 2010 is defining water bottle.

[Danny Kalm]

Oh my God, that's now.

[Danny Heifetz]

You've seen them a hundred times. How do you spell them now? N A, L, G, E. N, E. It was like the water bottle before the water bottle.

[Danny Kalm]

Where have you been?

[Craig Korlbeck]

Oh yeah, I know these, but I didn't know the name of them.

[Danny Heifetz]

I could never. The mouth was too big so I would spill on myself because there was so much water.

[Craig Korlbeck]

It really took a while for us to figure out, like how to construct the top of a water bottle.

[Danny Heifetz]

Odd walla. Oh my God. This is. I will do anything for this thing.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Okay, easy.

[Danny Heifetz]

This is the perfect water bottle. That was.

[Craig Korlbeck]

That was not an advertisement.

[Danny Heifetz]

No, we got no money for that. But Odwalla hit me up anyway. Rob's question.

[Danny Kalm]

My point was, by the way, that 32 ounces is the most popular size of a Nalgene. Think about drinking a Nalgene of coffee

[Craig Korlbeck]

in the morning of cold brew.

[Danny Kalm]

Cold brew.

[Danny Heifetz]

Insane.

[Craig Korlbeck]

That's kind of awesome.

[Danny Heifetz]

Crazy. Sometimes the breakfast thing, I can't even get past it for the. Anyway, are we in a caffeine?

[Craig Korlbeck]

Like, is there. Are we in a bad place right now? As a society with caffeine? I feel like people now are. I have 500 milligrams of caffeine a day.

[Danny Heifetz]

Craig, you are close to something I was considering for the take purge.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Okay.

[Danny Kalm]

We drink too much coffee.

[Danny Heifetz]

I think caffeine's out of Control, man. It's crazy how much I. I had no idea. My. My brother revealed to me that on work trips sometimes that he'll be my brother's delves past. There's a certain line of normal, quote unquote energy drinks. And then there's like. Yeah, it's almost like there's like back

[Craig Korlbeck]

in the day you have like a red line which was like gasoline in a can.

[Danny Heifetz]

But there's a certain point with like energy drinks or porn where you cross a certain threshold. You have no idea what's out there. You can't even imagine how weird energy drinks are. Porn and. Wow. It's just. It gets weird, man. And there's a whole subculture you've never even heard of of energy drinks.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Well, there's like, also, there's a whole like pre workout culture as well.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yes.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I remember back in the day in high school and stuff, you know, kids I played sports with were like drinking like C4. Do you remember that?

[Danny Kalm]

Oh, I do remember that.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah. Which is just like a 4 loco without the alcohol, I think.

[Danny Heifetz]

What if there's twice as much energy, no alcohol. Anyway. Yeah. Okay, so Rob's question.

[Danny Kalm]

C4 for fun. It's named after an explosive.

[Danny Heifetz]

Stephen A. Smith come by the ringer table to plug C4. What was the energy drink? I forget. Anyway.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Oh, I don't know.

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't know.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I mean, what's. There's the energy drink. Bang. Energy is creatine in it. Like we're.

[Danny Heifetz]

Dude, it's.

[Craig Korlbeck]

We're in uncharted territory anyway. People are having like 400 milligrams before noon. It's like, oh, yeah, I have a Celsius to wake up. It's like the wolf of Wall Street. Leo. But it's. It's just caffeine. Everything is just caffeine. It's like I have a Celsius to wake me up. I have a coffee to wake me up even more. I have a cold brew to wake me up again.

[Danny Kalm]

He's snorting coffee off of a woman's.

[Craig Korlbeck]

You know what?

[Danny Heifetz]

It's just. It's a friend who watched that movie with her dad. That was the opening scene. Anyway, Rob's question. Right, Right. Rob's question. You guys briefly talked about Carnell Tate, the receiver from Iowa State, going to the Titans with the number four pick, and you basically said they shouldn't take them. Why not?

[Danny Kalm]

Did I say that?

[Danny Heifetz]

I feel like I said they. We didn't think they would.

[Danny Kalm]

No, I think they should.

[Danny Heifetz]

Rob's question. And many Other people's questions. Why should the Titans not take Cardinal Tate Number 4 if Jeremiah love is a running back? Like why wouldn't they?

[Craig Korlbeck]

You don't think.

[Danny Kalm]

I think it would be a good. I think it'd be a good move. I think the question was would you rather have them take an edge rusher or a receiver? And I maybe leaned edge rusher slightly.

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, I think you said if David Bailey was there, right. You would. But let's say, let's say it just starts like this. Let's say the draft starts with Mendoza, the Raiders are available. Reese from our state to the jets. And then let's say the Cardinals take David Bailey at Texas Tech, number three. What do you think the Titans, if you were running the Titans, what would you do it for?

[Danny Kalm]

I would not have a problem with them taking Carnell Tate at that spot personally. Yes.

[Danny Heifetz]

So I'm just gonna, I want to just.

[Danny Kalm]

What, what. Where have you been? Why have you not learned this lesson yet, Craig?

[Danny Heifetz]

So I want to explain this.

[Danny Kalm]

What good is, what good is Carl or what good is freaking Jeremiah Love gonna have on this team?

[Craig Korlbeck]

I, I think the, the, the effect of Jeremiah Love would be similar or like if not the ceiling is higher. I feel like for could do to the Titans compared to Carnell Tate. Carnell Tate is not the fourth best player in the draft. Jeremiah Love is maybe the best player in the draft. And to me that's the difference is like sure, the value of the position, running back, first wide receiver, but like you getting the best player in the draft at four and then you could take a wide receiver in the second round. To me I would rather do that than the opposite which is Carnell Tate at four and then get like a third round running back back.

[Danny Kalm]

I have Carnel Tate as my number five player for what it's worth and Jeremiah my Love as my number three player. I think just the value of receiver is so much better, so much, so much greater. So, and then, and you can get into a whole like contract discussion if you want where Jeremiah Love comes in. He's immediately one of the highest paid receiver or running backs in the NFL versus Carnell Tate. You get on a five year deal, four and a half year, five year deal or whatever it is, four years plus the, the first year thing, whatever the fifth year option. And then you're saving like $20 million a year. It's like crazy how much you save if he turns out to be a good player. Like there's that whole story too. That whole. So that part of the, that's the

[Danny Heifetz]

thing I want to explain because I think that over the next couple weeks we might talk about this or you're going to hear about this a lot if you care about the draft is the whole value thing. And I actually want to explain what we mean because I actually think we're at the point where no one explains it anymore what we're talking about.

[Danny Kalm]

Right.

[Danny Heifetz]

And it's not that complicated. Certain positions are paid more on the quote unquote free market. It's not really a free market in the NFL, but certain positions are paid more. And to put a number on it, I think the franchise tag is a good explain good example because the franchise tag is the average of the top five salaries at a position. So the franchise tag this year at running back is $14 million. But if you want a franchise tag, a receiver like, like Breeze hall got the tag, it's about $14 million. George Pickens got the tag as a receiver, that's $28 million. So the point is the NFL pays wide receivers about twice as much at least for top end talent. Quarterbacks get the tag is like Daniel Jones about $45 million, which is like three times what a running back is. So a top and that's really even higher than that. So a top end running back is worth a third of a quarterback. A top end receiver is worth a half of a quarterback. Here's where we talk about the value thing and we don't. I actually don't think we explain this enough. The all the rookies are paid based on where they picked. So the, so the number one pick in the draft, Fernando Mendoza, he's going to get paid $55 million over four years to be the Raiders quarterback. If the Raiders said fuck it and took Jeremiah Love anyway, he's getting the same exact contract, dollar for dollar, word for word as Mendoza. Literally. You can look it up, Google it. I have the Titans Pick at number four is going to get $48,746,540.

[Craig Korlbeck]

He would be the, he would be the seventh highest paid running back if Jeremiah Love went forth. I, I, I, I don't want to say that I, I don't think they should take Cardinal Tate because I'm of the belief that if they think Cam Ward is the guy, you have your guy and you want to start giving him offensive pieces. So I think Cardinal Tate, I would rather, I think they should take an offensive skill player. I think they should take Carnell Tate or Jeremiah Love instead of like a pass rusher because I think you need to, this is year two now. I think you need to start building around your quarterback. They don't have anybody. There's no, there's really no dependable offensive skill player that you like. And I don't think you can do two years without somebody for Cam Ward to support. But I understand all that. I guess it's just like it's risk assessment. It's like, well, do you think Jeremiah Love is going to be a top five running back in the NFL and a huge difference maker? Maybe he is worth the money. What are the odds that Carnell Tate Is a top 15 wide receiver in the NFL? If it's pretty low in your mind, maybe you should take Jeremiah Love. But if it's pretty high, then it's a good bet to take Carnell Tate. If you think Carnell Tate is fine. Are you really taking him at 4 over Jeremiah love just because it's a better deal

[Danny Kalm]

that, I mean this is like the exact conversation we have every year with running backs. And I, I understand it, I totally get it. But I just think if you look historically at the value that these running backs bring to the overall offense, it's,

[Craig Korlbeck]

I just think it's just not going

[Danny Kalm]

to elevate the offense.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I think every team is bespoke. Like I think the Raiders taking Genty last year made no sense. I think you have a, like, I think, I think the commanders taking Jeremiah Love makes sense. Like I, I feel like there are certain teams at different stages of their life cycle and the commanders into a degree not Tennessee, not as much so but like would you have a problem, DK if the commanders took Jeremiah Love three picks later?

[Danny Kalm]

See that and that's where I've said that that's the first spot where I can talk, start talking myself into it because they won. What do they win 12 games two years ago. Like there's, it's not like they're rebuilding, you know, and they have a, they have a quarterback who's already proven himself to be one of the top tier quarterbacks. I don't know if we know that with Cam Ward right now and we

[Craig Korlbeck]

won't know if he has no good players around him.

[Danny Heifetz]

I was, yeah, I was gonna say I, I think at that point that's, I, I, it's funny you say that dk. That's what all the Titans Fitz emailed about was more, to paraphrase, okay at

[Craig Korlbeck]

7, why is it not okay at 4?

[Danny Heifetz]

And why do the Washington fans get to have fun but we don't why do we have to eat our vegetables in Washington just have candy and ice cream for dinner. That's really what the Titans fans are saying is like why the fuck can't we have fun and get Tate or Love. So here's the other question because Titans fan asked this too and I thought it was I thought this was compelling. Elliot said basically why should the Titans not just draft the Penn State guard Vega you want to with the fourth pick everyone agrees you should invest in offensive line of protecting on quarterback Everyone agrees the Titans need interior offensive line help Everyone agrees that you want to is an interior by himself in terms of offensive lineman interior like guards you want his in his own tier as a guard and some people think that Yoani might be the easiest or like the best offensive lineman in the draft regardless of position. At worst Yoani seems like a plug and play above average starter from day one. Taking a guard seems more sense positionally value than a running back. And this doesn't even bring up how Heifetz keeps bringing up about interior pressure and how much it matters for a young quarterback to develop without having interior pressure. So why should the Titans and I will throw on the Giants not just take Vega you want to I think

[Danny Kalm]

it makes more sense.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah so if the Giants took you do the draft grades for the Ring NFL Draft the Ringer.com if the Giants took Jeremiah Love at number five let's say the Titans or the Giants took Jeremiah Love or Veggie wanted what would you what grade are you going to give?

[Danny Kalm]

I mean I think it would be higher than them taking a running back put it that way. I think because I think it is more long term built and we talk about this all the time building from the trenches it actually matters a lot more for the for the health of the offense to have an offensive lineman he could then he can open up like run lanes for whoever they end up having like Tony Pollard. He doesn't suck you know put him back there that's fine. They're already paid for him same with like Cam Scatter Boo. I just think it's such a it is such a miss it's just a misuse of resources to have a running back that high on a team that's not ready to compete not ready to be not ready to win their division

[Danny Heifetz]

it look as a Giant again I've said this before I'll say it again. I do want in some level I want the Giants to just I want to close I'd be like I want to lecture them be like wag my finger, be like, it's not financially fiscally responsible to your running back. I'm going to close my eyes and then want them to do it so I can move. Jeremiah Love that seems way more fun. But you want is the same thing. I mean there's like seven guards that make over $20 million a year. I think there's what, one running back and I think maybe two. But look at the Bears, what you're able to do when they go and get Jonah Jackson and Joe Tuney a guard. And then you have look Kyle Menung. Guys, a seventh round picket running back looks fantastic. It's hard, but we've seen over and over first round running backs don't look great behind seventh round guards. And sometimes I'm like, it's that simple.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, I think I feel like drafting an offensive lineman. Like anywhere is okay. Like that is just kind of like you can't go broke making a profit like the Titans taking an offense or the Giants or whoever taking like a guard or any. Even if it's a guard, you still can't be like upset about it. Although you're paying them a lot of money because like, yeah, look, you are building around the offensive line and supporting your quarterback.

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[Danny Heifetz]

I want to read an email here from Keaton which is a good follow up to this dk. I'm Giving this to you. Keaton. The K. K Bone.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Michael Keaton.

[Danny Heifetz]

Michael Keaton. Dk. Should teams just draft linemen? Offensive defense, linemen only. Does anything else matter?

[Danny Kalm]

No, I think they should. Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

I have wondered ever. Yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

For receivers and corners and safeties and you just sign linemen.

[Danny Heifetz]

If this was Ender's game and you were just. You took all the humanity out of it and played game theory. Part of me is like, if you just took seven linemen a year and then we're like, just like, I will trade them for other positions. I feel like that would probably be the most efficient thing. Like, even quarterbacks get traded more than left tackles.

[Danny Kalm]

Yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

This is like Bill taking five quarterbacks in fantasies. Like, I'll just trade them.

[Danny Heifetz]

Except imagine if instead of one quarterback, you just start five quarterbacks in a league and you're like, yeah, I just. Part of me is like, maybe I

[Danny Kalm]

think it's harder to find. It's harder to put together an offensive line than almost anything in football. I feel like it's. Quarterbacks are the hardest to find, and then fielding an offensive line is the second hardest thing to do.

[Danny Heifetz]

Hence why I. If the Eagles fall apart this year and I'm not. Eagles fans hate us already. It's fine. They hate me. But if the Eagles fall apart this year without Jeff Stoutland and then just Outland's contract up, I just feel like a bidding war for a 70 year old offensive line guru would be the funniest thing ever. Like, everyone's just fawning over themselves.

[Craig Korlbeck]

There should be a reality show where he has. It's like the Bachelor but for stuff.

[Danny Heifetz]

The Bachelor.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Different teams showing up and flirting with him. And he sends one home each week. That'd be great.

[Danny Heifetz]

Come meet the family. It's like, here's the home visit with Jim Harbaugh, Mike McDaniel. Okay, you want a really dumb one or a trade conversation?

[Danny Kalm]

I want to.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I want to stay in the weeds. Let's do trade.

[Danny Kalm]

Oh, okay.

[Danny Heifetz]

This one is from Calvin with a

[Danny Kalm]

K. Ooh, K Bone.

[Danny Heifetz]

All right, which player do you think is a higher chance of being traded on draft day? Max Crosby or Dexter Lawrence? D.K.

[Danny Kalm]

max Crosby. I suppose since he's already been traded, they're very, very clearly willing to trade Seal.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah.

[Danny Kalm]

Yeah. It's like, who. Who's more likely to cheat? The guy who's already cheated or the guy who hasn't cheated?

[Craig Korlbeck]

Okay.

[Danny Kalm]

I don't know.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Just came to mind.

[Danny Kalm]

But yeah, I think probably Max Crosby. What do you think?

[Craig Korlbeck]

Are.

[Danny Kalm]

Are you Put it like that. Hardball.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's funny, I was probably overthinking it because I was like, well, they'll probably wait till Crosby can pass a physical and try to get picks next year. I got to tell you though, I, I keep. This is not going to happen. But I do just keep wondering if the Rams just trade that 13th pick from X Crosby. Everyone's like, oh, they'll take with Kai Lemon. I'm like, I don't know. Max Crosby got traded. Like, if you're the Rams, like, just give them the 13th pick. They're like, and basically if you're the Raiders and the Rams whispering, you're like, hey, you can pick ahead of the Ravens and fucking snipe them on that pick and take whatever they want. Like you think the Ravens you can get them? Yeah, and then we'll give you a second round or next year and a third or whatever. And the rape. The Rams give them a first and so the rave. The Raiders feel like, oh, we got our two first and the Rams are like, oh, but give us some swaps or something to make it like, like more like the value of a first and a second. Part of me is wondering, I don't know if the Rams will actually do that. But yeah, it's probably them picks. I hope the Giants don't trade Dexter Lawrence. I just, I don't know, don't trade elite defensive tackles.

[Danny Kalm]

Why does he want to be traded? What's going on there?

[Danny Heifetz]

He just wants more money. It's because this is average. He's the 12th highest paid defensive tackle. Yeah, he's just trying to get more money.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I feel like, I feel like the Raiders are way more likely to the fact the Raiders have already traded Max Crosby.

[Danny Kalm]

Yeah, that's what I said.

[Craig Korlbeck]

So, Calvin, Giants are not asking to trade, is asking to be traded.

[Danny Heifetz]

Good point. Part two is what do we think the players would get? I think a first and a second is the starting point. I think if the Raiders, you don't go lower than a first and a second after getting to first and Dexter Lawrence, I would want at least a first rounder. At least. But the second question was, with the Patriots rumored to be the most likely destination for A.J. brown, what do you think the trade package would be? Most teams probably Unwilling to trade 20, 27 first rounder picks because it's a deep draft class. We always say that. But even if not quarterback, at least the receiver class, you know Jeremiah Smith. Oh, Jeremiah Smith, Ohio State receiver who's like Julio Jones over again, basically. Do you think the Patriots would give up a 2027 first rounder for AJ Brown who's approaching 30? Or they just wait and I'm curious what you think, DK I think the Eagles are holding out for a first round pick. I think the Eagles do want to try to get a first round pick next year. Yeah.

[Danny Kalm]

Agree.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I think. I think the Pats would probably. Wow. I mean, I don't know.

[Danny Kalm]

I think they would do it.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I think they would do it too. Like, I feel like if you think you're going to be good like this, that's going to be like the 20 to.

[Danny Kalm]

Gonna be a late pick.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Kalm]

Think about the. The year you get with A.J. brown this year, the development that brings for. For Drake may remember they traded away or they. They released Stefan Diggs. Romeo Dubs is probably a number two at best. And so yeah, I mean think about the impact that A.J. brown would make. I know, but not again. Like there's always. There's red flags, but this is exactly what happens. Why trades happen is like think about A.J. brown in this.

[Danny Heifetz]

But if you're the Eagles, it's easy

[Danny Kalm]

to talk yourself into it.

[Danny Heifetz]

If you're the Eagles, if you got AJ Brown for the 18th pick in the draft and then you get four seasons out of AJ Brown and then you trade AJ Brown for like four years later for the. You for after his prime for the 29th pick in the draft, that's incredible. Like I. If they.

[Danny Kalm]

I mean that's just. Yeah, good business.

[Danny Heifetz]

Like they basically would have gotten A.J. brown's prime years more or less to move down 11 picks four years later. That's pretty crazy.

[Danny Kalm]

By the way, we didn't talk about. We. We did the Topper last show. But the Dantavian Wicks.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah. So Eagles, I think that that's just the way teams do free agency too. And the Eagles are basically saying if we trade A.J. brown, we're set. But Don Taven, we can play with A.G. brown. So it's like if A.J. brown, Devonte Smith, they lost John Dawson. So Don Taven Wicks and Marquis Brown can be two different players. Can kind of be like their third receiver. But if they trade A.J. brown, they could in theory go with Devonte Smith, Don Taven Wicks and Marquis Brown. So it just keeps their options open. They can draft a receiver if they trade A.J. brown. They can draft a receiver if they don't. I think the Eagles are in a good spot after the trade. They also gave Don Taven Wicks an like an a one year extension. For $12 million. I don't think it's guaranteed. I think that was, you know, if he can catch the football, it's a good deal. We doing over there, Craig? You playing slots?

[Craig Korlbeck]

To be honest with you, I. Matt asked if I wanted breakfast and he's ordering me a sandwich.

[Danny Heifetz]

What'd you get? Wait, let me see the menu. Let's order for you.

[Craig Korlbeck]

It's from. It's from Egg Slut, which is a place that I think.

[Danny Kalm]

I don't know, but heard of that.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I've heard of that. It's in our hotel. And so I'm looking at the breakfast sandwiches. I might get a sausage.

[Danny Heifetz]

Egg Slut's great. Yeah. Egg Sluts, a classic LA bread. Excellent. I always. Excellent. Good. Because in line they let you see some of the cooking. I always wanted to start a place called Waffle Hoe and compete with Egg Slut.

[Craig Korlbeck]

You got me. I would say I've always wanted to start a restaurant called Waffle.

[Danny Kalm]

Like it's.

[Danny Heifetz]

Ask my friends. Thinking about, we're in line at Egg Slut and I'm like, I can't believe. You know what my issue is with places that have long lines for food is like you think they would serve you food or beer or coffee and line that always infuriates me that it's like I'm gonna wait 40 minutes for your egg sandwich. But like, I can't buy a coffee in line.

[Danny Kalm]

Yeah, just buy.

[Danny Heifetz]

Just sell me the coffee.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Can I get a quart of cold brew, please?

[Danny Kalm]

Analgene of this shit.

[Danny Heifetz]

I have time. It's a 40 person line. It's like, I'll go. Give me an ounce per person ahead of me. That would be great.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Should I do a sausage, egg and cheese or an egg salad?

[Danny Heifetz]

Sausage, Egg and cheese. At Egg Slut, you got to get a. The hot sandwich.

[Danny Kalm]

Yeah, he knows what the hot sandwich gotta get. Oh, I thought quite literally hot. The most popular sandwich.

[Danny Heifetz]

No, dk, Google the pictures. No, you got to get the. It's Egg Slut. What are you gonna put on Instagram from Egg Sled? If you don't get the sandwich? You can put egg salad on Instagram. Yeah. No, dude just trying to enjoy his life. I know.

[Craig Korlbeck]

God damn. What are you gonna put on?

[Danny Kalm]

I just want to eat my meal.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's a joke. No, because Egg Lot's like the, like the. The number one Instagram breakfast. I think in la everyone puts a little like slot on their Instagram story.

[Danny Kalm]

If it's you bought me a hat from this place called Biscuits and porn.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh yeah.

[Danny Kalm]

Which I still have.

[Danny Heifetz]

South Carolina. North Carolina, yeah.

[Danny Kalm]

Sometimes I like, I wear it, I'm wearing it at my house and then I'm like gonna go pick up my son at daycare and I'm like, well, should probably change my hat.

[Danny Heifetz]

Biscuits and porn. Not as much porn as you think, but the food, the biscuits are way better.

[Danny Kalm]

I would expect a lot of porn. If it's in the name, it's like one rack. What kind of talk?

[Craig Korlbeck]

What kind of.

[Danny Kalm]

I was told there'd be poor beauty magazines.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's like magazines. I was actually there with Jackie and her mother. I went with Jackie, my mother in law and I went to biscuits and porn. And we were like, you know, the food's better than we thought it would be.

[Danny Kalm]

You guys wouldn't know this, but back in the day when places had, you know, Blockbuster. I don't think Blockbuster did, but the, the private video rental companies had like a back room sometimes where you could go back there. And that was where you perused the porn. And George is barking his head off because he misses it so much. Yeah, yeah. You go like, you go behind these like curtains. It's like straight out of like a frickin video place. The movie theaters where you can go watch porn. I forget what they're called.

[Danny Heifetz]

This was something I don't think I really understood was a thing until very recently that they used to just play porn in movie theaters, in darkness. I don't really think I comprehended that.

[Craig Korlbeck]

And it was just like a different time back then. Eleven dudes alone, sitting strategically as far away from each other as humanly possible in the theater.

[Danny Kalm]

Yeah, yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Wild.

[Danny Kalm]

That was like a little before my time. We did it out in the woods. We looked at porn magazines right in the woods where you could get some freaking privacy around here.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Jerking off onto a tree or something.

[Danny Heifetz]

No, you got really mad at us that we implied you were jerking off in the woods. No, we looked at it in the woods and went home. And you were like, yeah, put it

[Danny Kalm]

in the old spank bank if you will.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Jesus.

[Danny Kalm]

Well, you've never heard that expression, Jesus? That's, that's what gets a Jesus out of you.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Okay, so you're telling me you never, you never, you never came to completion in the woods?

[Danny Kalm]

I did not. No.

[Danny Heifetz]

That's the part you lie about with all this. That's where you chose to lie.

[Danny Kalm]

Why would I lie now?

[Danny Heifetz]

I'm telling you the truth about everything though. But that's. I don't know why I don't know, I. Yeah, you know what? Emails. I never get tired of this. Email us. This was the most age demarcation we've ever had. Everyone above 40 was like, yeah, no, there was. There was still getting tagged. And everyone underneath was like, what is he talking about?

[Danny Kalm]

Anytime anyone brings porn in the woods up, I get tagged on it.

[Danny Heifetz]

That and the other one was the Internet used to come in. In the mail

[Craig Korlbeck]

on a disc.

[Danny Heifetz]

All right, grandma, can you put you back into this?

[Danny Kalm]

Let's get you back

[Craig Korlbeck]

Internet on a

[Danny Heifetz]

disc in the mail.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Okay.

[Danny Heifetz]

It came in a CD.

[Danny Kalm]

Think about how many CDs were. I mean, they were just inundating us with CDs back then.

[Danny Heifetz]

Just get the Internet in the mail. All right, sure. Anyway, I think the Eagles will. I do think Howie Rosemary will finesse it for strong pick for A.J. brown. I do think it's gonna happen.

[Danny Kalm]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

In 2027. All right, question from Marshall about Dallas Marshall. Bone Marshall says. Let's just say that Marshall. You like the Marshall.

[Danny Kalm]

Yeah, Marshall.

[Danny Heifetz]

My friend name is Kid Marshall.

[Danny Kalm]

What?

[Danny Heifetz]

My friend named his Kid Marshall.

[Danny Kalm]

Yeah, it's a good marshy.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah. Strong name.

[Danny Heifetz]

So let's say Marshall basically says, who should the Cowboys take if the following. Let's just say the top three Edge rushers are gone. So it's Arvo Reese and David Bailey and Ruben Banner drafted. And let's say the man, Sir Delane, the top cornerback's gone, and Jeremy McCoy, the other top quarterback, is probably gone. And then let's say the tackles, basically Caleb Downs is gone. Who should the Cowboys take in that scenario? Because it's very easy to say, well, if one of the blue blood first round defenders falls to Dallas, take that guy. But what if those, like, great defenders are off the table at that for Dallas? And I can go through the exact scenario that I think would happen. But basically, what does Dallas do in that situation?

[Danny Kalm]

Yeah, that's tough.

[Danny Heifetz]

I know it's kind of hard to explain, but I'm basically saying if the top two cornerbacks, Caleb Downs, the top pass rushers are gone. Sonny Styles is gone. What do they do? I. I'm curious. You think dk. I think Dylan Tieneman, the safety from Oregon, is actually a great fit for Dallas because to be honest, he's an elite athlete. But no one really wants to say it because everyone's like, well, he'll go to the Vikings because he's white, like Harrison Smith, but it's like the Cooper de Jeans disease, where it's like. Or kitchen McCaffrey where no one wants to say he's an elite athlete, but Dylan Tiedemann, I really think he's. I think he would be a perfect fit in Dallas.

[Danny Kalm]

I think that makes sense. And I don't think that's too high to take him. Probably. I think that's right in the range that he will end up going. I'm thinking, like, obviously the. The Cowboys don't need a receiver right now, but depending on what their plans are with George Pickens, there's going to be receivers at that spot. I think that they could go with Ken in Sadiq probably there. He's not included in this. In this exercise. Right. Like, I think he is a very good prospect.

[Danny Heifetz]

You think Kenyan Sadiq would be gone when the Cowboys pick at 12?

[Danny Kalm]

No, I'm saying he's still on the board in this.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely.

[Danny Kalm]

And Kaden Proctor or potentially Monroe Freeling, just offensive line. The Cowboys love to take offensive lineman and they have. Have had a great amount of success in the past.

[Danny Heifetz]

I believe the Cowboys are probably good at line. I think, though, because, Terence, you're never good at line.

[Danny Kalm]

Didn't we. Haven't we learned this? Look at the Lions. They've.

[Danny Heifetz]

I'll say Ken, their oldest feel. He's 28 years old. He's the right tackle.

[Danny Kalm]

No, I know. I'm just saying. I'm just saying, like, if you really. If you're talking like, what is the most valuable pick you can make it, that is probably going to be an edge player or offensive tackle, like we said, building through the trenches or a receiver. But they're kind of set at those spots. I think Theta man is. Is a. It would make sense at that spot. I wouldn't be against it. It. I'm just. Honestly just looking at some of these.

[Danny Heifetz]

The other.

[Danny Kalm]

Maybe another corner that they really like.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, you could go corner. I think that. I do think the Cowboys are in a good spot because I do think they either get Mansard Delay in the cornerback. I think Caleb is the furthest Caleb Downs would fall. As to the Cowboys at 12. I do. I'd be shocked if the Cowboys didn't take him if he was there. I. I do think also at 20, the Cowboys. The Micah Parsons pick. I kind of think the Cowboys might take C.G. allen, the linebacker from Georgia. I think that NFL teams think very highly of Georgia linebackers. I don't think CG Allen's as crazy tools. He has other linebackers that come out from Georgia, but I do think CG Allen is maybe more well rounded than some of the other Georgia linebackers and like teams need those. And again, the Cowboys have three linebackers on the roster. They literally have to take a linebacker in the first three rounds. Like the Cowboys are going to take a linebacker and so I actually think the 20th pick. So I could see them taking cornerback of safety at 12 or defensive end and then a linebacker at 20 or at least on day two.

[Danny Kalm]

Keldrick Falk from Auburn is a guy that I've kind of been pairing with the Cowboys at times. I don't know what his actual stock is because I think he's one of the players that I think people have the widest range of opinions on just because he wasn't. His production wasn't quite there. But if you look at the size, the movement ability, the day one starting ability as the run, I'm kind of with the upside to develop into a much better pass rusher down the line. He's 20 years old for everything you hear about him is he's a great guy. So Keltrick fault could be another option there.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, I feel like the verse they went with it.

[Danny Kalm]

They went with a guard earlier than people thought last year. Right.

[Danny Heifetz]

Tyler Booker can always take good football players.

[Danny Kalm]

Right.

[Craig Korlbeck]

The it is funny that like through all of this, the Cowboys are pretty good at drafting.

[Danny Kalm]

They're very good at drafting. Keeping their players is the heart. It's like the whole Jerry Seifaba really good at taking the reservation, holding, holding the reservoir, keeping your really good players. That's the hard part.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Anybody can.

[Danny Kalm]

I love. He's like anybody can take a reservation. That's good.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Anyway. Yeah, he's doing a residency in Vegas.

[Danny Heifetz]

I see his poster all over Seinfeld.

[Danny Kalm]

Wow.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, yeah. Wait, can you show us your hotel room, Craig? Or we do Vegas corner now or

[Craig Korlbeck]

no, let's do it at the end.

[Danny Heifetz]

All right, fine. Yeah. Here a couple more football, deep cut football questions and then I want to get to some really stupid shit people emailed in. So we'll unravel here in a moment. So this email from David. David, breakfast was as usual, straight espresso. God, it really is such a window into people's lives. So David says yesterday the Falcons right tackle Caleb McGarry actually retired. And so the Falcons have two lefty quarterbacks now with Michael Penix and Tua. So the right tackle is pretty important because it's the blind side for the lefties. So if you're the Falcons or any team looking to draft a good right tackle is the approach to scout the best left tackles and Convert them to right tackle. Because presumably the better tackles play left tackle? Or do you scout in the draft the best right tackles and recognize you're maybe shopping. Shopping in a lower tier of tackle. And if you go with option A, is it hard to switch a top tier tackles technique? He's like, wow, it's top tier tackles technique. Top tier tackles techniques.

[Danny Kalm]

Say that seven times strike.

[Danny Heifetz]

And I was reminded of Ben Solak on the show saying a few years ago, like, switching left to right tackles. Like, try imagine wiping your ass with the other hand.

[Danny Kalm]

I broke my hand in high school, my right hand. It was.

[Craig Korlbeck]

So what's easier?

[Danny Kalm]

Weird.

[Craig Korlbeck]

It's like Armageddon, you know? Do you teach the right tackle to play left tackle? Dk, what would you. Do you take the best tackle available, even if he plays left and convert him to right, or do you have to take the best right tackle?

[Danny Kalm]

Philosophically speaking, this is a really interesting question because I think in most drafts the highest ranked tackles would be left tackles. In this class, it's right tackles. Francis Mowing, Maui Noah and Spencer Fano are both right tackles. Isn't that so great how two top guys.

[Danny Heifetz]

Isn't it so great how we wind

[Craig Korlbeck]

up for Atlanta, though, don't have a first rounder.

[Danny Heifetz]

I was gonna say line up so well for Atlanta. You got the 13th pick. All these right tackles on the board word. And they don't have the.

[Danny Kalm]

It's absolutely brutal. But that being said, I, I think generally you want to keep a guy where he's, where he's played. I think that. And, and it goes to what so was saying. It can feel a little different. Another less graphic example of it is like writing switch or, you know, if you're like snowboarding or skateboarding, whatever, trying to ride switch or goofy foot or whatever and go the other way. It's like it just totally different feeling. You can learn it, but it kind of goes against or throwing with your left hand or whatever. It goes against like what you're so used to. And it just makes the learning curve so much harder.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's just probably easier to do it on Madden. Like in Madden you're like, oh, my right tackles in 91. But if it put him to left, he's an 89. Great. And in reality, it's like, yeah, it's actually. You have to completely.

[Danny Kalm]

The margins are so slim in the NFL. I mean, by the way, the Lions are talking about moving Penny Sewell to left tackle this off season. So I'm like, how's that gonna go? This is Just not just an easy, easy thing, unless you're a rare, rare player, which I guess Sewell is. So, yeah, I think it's. Ideally, you want to just keep them where they played for the most part.

[Danny Heifetz]

All right, TK Last nerdy question here, and then we're gonna. I want to really get into some crazy. But first, do you. Are there any deca players? Your big board. So you're gonna have a top 100 big board before the draft. You're at 90 right now. Are there any deep cut players? You don't have to be that deep cut. Day two, at least players. We talked a lot about the first round. Are there any other players in second, third, fourth, fifth round that caught your eye they want to plant a flag on? I'm thinking of, like, guys like, like Kyle Lewis, who's a linebacker at Pitt that I'm just like, yeah, he's fine about this guy. He's a lot of Levante David. Like, I just. Is there any players like that? You're like, sure, I love this guy.

[Danny Kalm]

The first guy that came to mind when you guys were talking about this was Kevin Coleman Jr. Out of Missouri. Just quick as a hiccup, as our buddy Ben Solek would like to say, just so, so quick. Sudden mover, slot receiver, only a little bit undersized, but really dynamic out of the. Out of the slot. Can get vertical, run, run three level routes. He runs after the catch. He's the type of guy who. And just picture it where he catches the ball and he seems to like. He's like a cat. He just always land. It's like George Pickens. He always just lands on his feet, ready to cut immediately. He'll just twist, go up in the air, twist around, land on his feet in the triple threat position and able to cut away from defense in one single smooth motion. That's the type of player dealing with here. I don't think he can play outside, which is probably why he's a day two guy and the lack of size. But I really liked his tape a lot, and he has good production as well.

[Danny Heifetz]

Kevin Coleman, receiver at Missouri. Where would he be ranked if he was K.C. coleman? Kind of like how Kevin Concepcion goes by Casey. Great question, but it's his initial. Casey Coleman.

[Danny Kalm]

Maybe give him an extra round. Go one round up.

[Danny Heifetz]

Casey Coleman.

[Craig Korlbeck]

We need, like to. We need to start a name firm.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yes.

[Craig Korlbeck]

And. And we kind of advise people. We consult on how to improve your draft profile by changing your name or. Or tweaking your name. Dk.

[Danny Kalm]

How big is this guy Coleman, he's like, I think 5, 10, 180. Let me check. Hold on. Where is he? He's 5, 11, 180.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Okay. Okay.

[Danny Kalm]

So he's not like Tiny. He's not 170 pounds. I've started to. Obviously there's a few exceptions where, you know, guys have come into the league and been good. Tank Dow is an example. But I mean, the, the lack of size certainly is a big concern going into the NFL. It's a big man's game. Injuries are going to happen if you're, if you're tiny or you're just going to have trouble, you know, dealing with bigger, stronger defenders. And so know, I'm careful not to, like, get too excited about a guy who's just really small. I mean, he's not tiny. Tiny.

[Danny Heifetz]

A good. Yeah, I, I, I like Craig's idea about rebranding players. Like, for example, I think Kyle Lewis at Pitt is, is just an unbelievable. He's the, he's the. I'm telling you in advance, some teams get. The Cowboys are going to draft Kyle Lewis in the second or third round and everyone's gonna be like, steal the draft. What a perfect player on day two. If his name's Kyle, though, it's a little boring for a linebacker, let's be honest.

[Craig Korlbeck]

That's right.

[Danny Heifetz]

But the at pit. The, the linebacker group overall was n the Sharks. But if Kyle Lewis was just Shark Lewis. Yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Oh, wow.

[Danny Heifetz]

Shark Lewis is like, maybe the Seahawks take him 30 in the first round.

[Craig Korlbeck]

One million percent. It's funny. Kyle Lewis on Wikipedia. I don't know his middle name. I don't, there's not much. It's just Kyle Lewis. We need more than that.

[Danny Heifetz]

It should be Shark Lewis.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I need, when you sign with us, I need grandparents names. I need full family tree. And we can make, I want nicknames. Whole thing.

[Danny Heifetz]

We're gonna, we're gonna start an agency. We gotta give a good name for the agency, though.

[Sponsor Ad Voice]

That's true.

[Danny Heifetz]

Email us names for our brand agency. Ringer, fantasy football. Gmail.com brand. Our brand agency. Okay, wait, wait, I haven't.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Should it be called name brand? Oh, that's good.

[Danny Kalm]

Just give it this way for free.

[Danny Heifetz]

That's, that's good.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Name brand is a cool name.

[Danny Heifetz]

Name brand name brand.

[Danny Kalm]

Damn, you got hyphens going now.

[Danny Heifetz]

Name brand is so good.

[Danny Kalm]

He's all revved up. We're gonna have to bleep that.

[Craig Korlbeck]

We all. Yeah. Name brand.

[Danny Heifetz]

Just the plate. Yeah. We wouldn't tell people.

[Craig Korlbeck]

We don't we don't. There's no food in the office. It's just, it's just quartz of cold brew.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, just quartz. Quartz. We're all just cold brew by the

[Craig Korlbeck]

buzzing around the office, man.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, we're looking at this Yukon receiver like yes. Skyler Bell. That's good. Like a porn name. Fantastic. Good stuff.

[Danny Kalm]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Skyler Bell. I have. All right, we have an important question here. This is from Josh.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Josh.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's funny, I actually kind of skip over the breakfast sometimes when I'm reading. I kind of just like Gl and so I'm reading it for the first time. Breakfast with cinnamon toast crunch and Ritalin.

[Danny Kalm]

How. How old is this kid?

[Craig Korlbeck]

Is he in 6th grade now?

[Danny Heifetz]

This email from a 12 year old screams college.

[Craig Korlbeck]

This is a 20 year old.

[Danny Heifetz]

Josh writes, I was listening to the could you fight an ostrich debate? Great stuff. But I have a better stupid, compelling and rich. Yeah, compelling and rich. But I have a better stupid manliness thought experiment.

[Danny Kalm]

Okay.

[Danny Heifetz]

And he says, I was thinking about this because I was talking, I was watching the Masters, talking to my brother in law. We were debating the athleticism of golfers, which is a great, great conversation.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Oh, it's funny. Was like are these guys athletic? And I was like, yeah, I don't know.

[Danny Kalm]

Yeah, I think the good ones are. Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

So Josh writes, I posit, under the right conditions, I could shove Rory McElroy into a locker.

[Danny Kalm]

How tall is Rory?

[Craig Korlbeck]

He's not.

[Danny Heifetz]

Rory's 5 10. He's 5 9. He's famously. Because he can hit it 3. He's basically height to driver distance. Probably the best.

[Craig Korlbeck]

But he's very in shape. He's. He's, he's pretty strong.

[Danny Kalm]

Wrong. Yeah, he's 5 9.

[Danny Heifetz]

So. Well, Josh says he's 6 4, 2, 40 for, for real. So I actually, maybe he could, he could shove Roy Mackerel in a locker.

[Danny Kalm]

He says, I. I take back my 6th grade comment, by the way. I would never insult a man of your size.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's a hell of a seventh grader. So Josh says I could shove Rory McElroy to a locker. I do not think that's true for a single player in the NFL or NBA. What? So my quit. He says he could.

[Craig Korlbeck]

You don't think he could shove a kicker?

[Danny Heifetz]

Kickers are cut well. They're strong in the legs. Kickers are strong.

[Craig Korlbeck]

You don't want it. This guy's like 240. You don't think he. There's not one kicker or punter he could shove into a lot.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, 100.

[Danny Kalm]

All the kickers. All the kickers. Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Some of the kickers fair, but they're not really.

[Danny Kalm]

He does. He's not counting them.

[Danny Heifetz]

Are they players?

[Craig Korlbeck]

Okay.

[Danny Kalm]

Yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Okay.

[Danny Heifetz]

Ask a defensive lineman. If the kickers count, they're technically on the team. Yeah, they're on the team. So. So anyway, so Josh's question. How many copies of you would it take to effectively block Miles Garrett?

[Craig Korlbeck]

Copies. It would just have the Matrix thing. How. How many bodies could I lay on the floor in front of him that he'd have to kind of walk over to get to the quarterback?

[Danny Heifetz]

You build like a military barricade or like.

[Danny Kalm]

Like in the. In the movie.

[Danny Heifetz]

300.

[Danny Kalm]

How they make the big wall of

[Danny Heifetz]

dead bodies, like World War Z or something.

[Craig Korlbeck]

How many corpses could slow him down before he gets to the quarterback?

[Danny Heifetz]

Like 2, 300.

[Danny Kalm]

Here's the problem, though, Craig. Then the quarterback's having to throw over our corpse wall. Just chucking it up there.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

So Josh says, to be clear, I'm not saying we shut Myles Garrett down. We're saying we have to slow Miles Garrett down for like three or four seconds to get an effective block on the play. And Josh says I'm a big corpse wall. Josh says my toxic trait is I think three copies of myself could do the job. That is so embarrassing for Josh.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I mean, there's no way for 240.

[Danny Heifetz]

No way.

[Danny Kalm]

Maybe. How athletic is this guy?

[Danny Heifetz]

I have seen Miles Garrett Cinnamon Toast

[Danny Kalm]

crunch and Ritalin for breakfast. I don't know what to make of that.

[Danny Heifetz]

Miles Garrett has. I've seen him surpass three NFL players on a snap to get to a quarterback in three seconds.

[Craig Korlbeck]

For myself, I think the number is like, 8. 8. I think 8 of has a shot

[Danny Heifetz]

if you're 6 or 240. Craig's like.

[Danny Kalm]

He's making like a phalanx or phalanx or however you say that.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's Craig's holding other Craigs as spears. It's like, I think if you're 6, 4, 2, 40, like Josh, the conversation begins at 5, because the first two guys are going to be both on the ground. I shit you, more than one slaughter. Yeah, he is. I have seen Aaron Donald from 10ft Away. Miles Garrett loved both guys on the ground.

[Danny Kalm]

And literally, would you rather go against Miles. Miles Garrett or Aaron Donald? Who's worse? Aaron Donald by mile. Right.

[Danny Heifetz]

Aaron Donald is.

[Danny Kalm]

I would never want to face Aaron Donald.

[Danny Heifetz]

They're the two best players on D line.

[Danny Kalm]

Miles Garrett, honestly, just seems nicer. Miles Garrett Seems like a nicer person.

[Craig Korlbeck]

That's fine.

[Danny Kalm]

Aaron Donald,

[Craig Korlbeck]

he's different mentally.

[Danny Kalm]

He's a.

[Craig Korlbeck]

He's a little.

[Danny Kalm]

Yeah, he's a little crazy. He's, like, practicing with knives.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I think, like, four sets of two for me against Myles Garrett maybe could slow. Like, he's just kind of discarding sets of me. But four. Four of them would take, what, four seconds? Three seconds?

[Danny Kalm]

The quarterback get the ball out, slow him down enough.

[Danny Heifetz]

So, yeah, it's like, can he discard one of, like, you would like to think that you could hold up for a quarter of a second, Right. So if you need to last four seconds, you would. I guess I would not be able

[Danny Kalm]

to hold up for a quarter of a second.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I'd be. But what about two of you?

[Danny Heifetz]

You don't think a quarter of a sec. Quarter of a second. I'm like, okay, maybe I could hold them up for quarters. I think you have to think 16 of me.

[Danny Kalm]

Be like. You'd hear the Wilhelm scream immediately.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I'd be.

[Danny Kalm]

I'd be off the screen.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I think you have to think about it. You have to. You have to build yourself in a

[Danny Heifetz]

series of double teams. Yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

How many sets of two could slow him down? Three or four.

[Danny Heifetz]

Right. That a eight is probably. That six is not happening. I can't tell you. It is to get past the double team.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Well, then you have to be a flag dk.

[Danny Kalm]

Oh, right. Wait, we have to do this legally. Oh, I don't know.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Then.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah. You can't bring an ax.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I was gonna say.

[Danny Kalm]

Well, I'm not saying, like. I'm not saying, like, committing a crime. I'm not saying committing a crime. I'm saying, are we keeping this legal to the football?

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's exactly the question. You can't hold. Yeah. You cannot. Everyone can't hold his arms and legs back. No.

[Danny Kalm]

Okay. Even that.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Can I. I can't lasso him with a rope. Even that probably wouldn't help.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's kind of hard.

[Danny Kalm]

I mean, you have to hold the

[Danny Heifetz]

rope just sitting there. Just keep missing. You're like, sit still.

[Danny Kalm]

They'd be like, ow, this hurts my hands. Yeah. It's like, oh, I got you.

[Danny Heifetz]

Actually laughs when he's just dragging you by.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, he would. Yeah. It's like, oh, I'm not gonna be able to type for a month.

[Danny Heifetz]

I think eight. Eight's the starting point.

[Danny Kalm]

I agree.

[Danny Heifetz]

Okay.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I think. I think for. For Josh, I'd go six, because he's.

[Danny Kalm]

He's.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, I think six is the right Answer.

[Danny Kalm]

So just double what he thinks. I think it's like a fair assessment.

[Danny Heifetz]

He says, whatever.

[Danny Kalm]

Whatever it is you think for everyone listening out there, whatever it is you think double it is what we. What we're really talking about here.

[Danny Heifetz]

That's the right answer.

[Danny Kalm]

I think that's like the rule of thumb here.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's the right answer. Okay, this one's from Andy. So Andy had a good spin on what Craig was saying about Avicii, where Craig was like, I'll put Avicii's best five songs against anyone.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, it's like the IMDb, you know, it's like an actor has, like the four IMB. It's like the top five of an artist. Ivy Cheese.

[Danny Kalm]

I mean, come on.

[Danny Heifetz]

Andy had a great spin on this, which was I. And he says, I'm convinced that if you showed someone Lance Stevenson's bet, like, highlight video, like Lance Stevenson, the NBA player who's on the Pacers and a bunch of other teams. If you showed like, lance Stevenson's best seven or eight plays to someone 20 years from now, you could convince them that he was one of the absolute greatest players in the history of the NBA.

[Danny Kalm]

Oh, I love these.

[Danny Heifetz]

And he was saying, like, Lance Stevenson's top five highlights are crazy. And I was like, I know Lance Stevenson, but I looked it up and I got to tell you, they are so much better than I remembered, like, Lance Stevenson's top five plays, which got me thinking, it doesn't have to exactly be 5, but I like the idea of who are other players like that where not mid player, but this like, kind of random guy whose top five kind of is up there with like, literally the best ever. And I was interested by this question. I wanted other Lance Stevensons. And I was trying to think, yeah,

[Danny Kalm]

but I know the objective answer in football.

[Danny Heifetz]

So I'm not talking about, like, guys that could, like, Josh Gordon doesn't count. Like, I'm not talking. Or Josh Hamilton in baseball. I'm not talking about guys who, like, had issues off the field but were talented. I'm talking about, like, guys I saw their career.

[Craig Korlbeck]

You know, I thought another NBA one is JaVale.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yo, that's a good one. It's a good one.

[Craig Korlbeck]

JaVale McGee, you would have thought he was Wilt Chamberlain if I showed you highlights.

[Danny Heifetz]

So my NFL one, may he rest in peace, is Marion Barber, the running back for the Cowboys, whose top five plays. Honestly, he is like. He's like Eric Dickerson, like Marion Barber.

[Danny Kalm]

He.

[Danny Heifetz]

I think he has my favorite run in an history that isn't. He was. Honestly, Marian Barber was like Marshall lynch before Marshall Lynch. Like, I think Maron Barber has my favorite five yard run ever. He has this play against the undefeated Patriots where he got handed the ball at the 10, got hit in the backfield, and the people chasing he has to run back around the entirety of the end zone just to get back to line of scrimmage. And everyone chasing him is either in the real hall of Fame or in the Patriots hall of Fame. It's just Rodney Harrison. Boom. It's just like junior say how boom. And it's just. He is just shaking an undefeated defense and he breaks 11 tackles to get two yards. But they kind of all look like that. But I want more people to email

[Craig Korlbeck]

us like, this guys basically freak athletes who aren't really that good at playing the sport, but are just so athletic that every once in a while they make like the coolest play you've seen all year that.

[Danny Kalm]

You know who that is?

[Craig Korlbeck]

It's Anthony Richardson.

[Danny Kalm]

Yeah, the one.

[Danny Heifetz]

Damn it.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I could find you five Anthony Richardson.

[Danny Kalm]

Five.

[Craig Korlbeck]

You'd be like, this is the greatest quarterback of all time.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's like five, though, for sure.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Well, if I can include runs. Yeah. Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Okay.

[Danny Kalm]

The guy who I was thinking of, who I I think is the objective, correct answer to this is Brandon Lloyd. Oh, you guys remember him?

[Craig Korlbeck]

Oh, yeah.

[Danny Kalm]

He had some of the most insane catches. My. In fact, my buddy sent me shout out Ben. He sent me a highlight reel the other day, like out of the blue. Completely random. He's like, by the way, you got to check out Brandon Lloyd's highlights. And, and, and I totally 100% remember. He just makes the most insane above the rim, spinning like foot tap on. On the sideline catches. It's actually crazy, but he was just kind of like a. A regular receiver. He never was. I don't even know if he went to any Pro Bowls. Let's see here. Oh, he did go to one Pro Bowl.

[Danny Heifetz]

I had some other guys I thought of, but it ended up being more guys who had had good seasons but not like the five plays. To me, it's two minutes. We've been talking to Chris Ryan about sometimes a guy's, you know, Instagram like highlight reel comes up for two minutes and you're like, I'm gonna watch this. It's like I looked up Chris Chambers. He had a few good seasons, but it's not. The top five plays are not as good as I remember to Stevie Johnson, he more like he was really good for a Small amount of time. I'm talking. Yeah, Brandon Lloyd and Marion Barber, guys who's like the five. Like Lance Stevenson had this one play where he basically did like a pole vault. Like he jumped, he ended up jump. He got fouled and jumped over someone who must have been 6 foot 8 and while horizontal, threw the ball over his head like at the backboard. It must have gone 10ft above the rim and then went in for the N1. And it was like actually maybe the craziest hand one had ever seen in an NBA game. And it was like his fourth best play.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, I mean you can. The NBA is different because you could just find like guys like Shannon Brown, who is like an all time dunker but couldn't really play basketball. You could find five highlights of him and he looked. You could be convinced he's Anthony Edwards.

[Danny Kalm]

Yeah, I mean that's like how I feel about Sean Kemp. Like some of his dunks. He, if you, if, if I showed you his five greatest plays, you'd probably be like, this guy's a hall of Famer, one of the best players ever. Right.

[Danny Heifetz]

And it's the same with like the high school videos too, where it's like Percy Harvard's high school video.

[Danny Kalm]

Oh my God.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, like superhuman. Okay, so I want more of those emails. The top five mid players that have pretty incredible. I want, I want to really like Lance Stevenson. I, I didn't know his game. It was pretty. I was.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Hated him back in the day.

[Danny Heifetz]

He's the most hateable. He was the most hateable random player too.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Who.

[Danny Heifetz]

Lance Stevenson. Because there was things. What was he like, was blowing air in LeBron's ear when he was on

[Craig Korlbeck]

Indiana and it was like Indiana versus Miami thing.

[Danny Heifetz]

It was.

[Craig Korlbeck]

That Indiana team is so fucking annoying. It was like Roy Hibbert and Paul George and Lance Stevenson and George Hill. They were good though.

[Danny Heifetz]

But yeah, they were like. They were like Kirkland brand bad boy Pistons. Yeah, they were just like this hateable physical team and then they got washed out by frankly the three pointers and stuff.

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[Danny Kalm]

The playoffs are here and you can

[Danny Heifetz]

predict the action all the way to the finals with FanDuel predictions. Follow all the playoff dishes, swishes, wishes and misses. Predict the spread the total points and even the game winner. Sign up for FanDuel Predicts and predict it from the couch. Offered by FanDuel Prediction Markets LLC registered futures commission merchant 18 plus trading derivatives involve significant risk and may not be suitable for all investors. Manage your activity with our consumer protection tools. Speaking of which, Cole it's from Nicole C. Bone. Nothing for breakfast. Freeze. Breakfast is calling nothing. Okay Cole, Cole had an idea to fix tanking in the NBA and I wanted to run it by you guys. Dk, I know this is near and dear to your heart how bad the Washington Wizards are.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, this is the real topic du jour of the year. The tanking thing.

[Danny Heifetz]

I still, I still feel that the biggest issue for the NBA is not tanking. It's the Elam ending and they need to just basketball.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I agree.

[Danny Heifetz]

Endless series of fouls. Everyone like the to me the biggest difference between why football is successful and the NBA is successful other than scarcity in the nature of the sport is NFL owners as business people would never let every single game end in the least dramatic way possible through a series of loopholes to foul like it's, it should just end with a basket.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I agree. Elam ending is perfect.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

And less games and then you're good.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's like scores 100. 100 with two minutes left. Cool. Clocks off first to 106 wins.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yep.

[Danny Heifetz]

You want to stop play defense. What a novel concept. Would you love to see Wembanyama down 10 but like it's like okay, they can't score again dude.

[Craig Korlbeck]

If the first, if the, the fourth quarter begins and it's like yeah, spurs versus the Thunder. But like the Thunder of a five point lead. So the Thunder have to get to 20 and the spurs have to get to 25. First one wins. That's amazing.

[Danny Heifetz]

I I it, it, it's such a no brainer and I used to think it was pie in this guy, but after seeing what baseball's done with robot umps and pitch clocks in banning the shift, it's so much less radical than what baseball's done.

[Craig Korlbeck]

They should try it with teams that are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs or something. I don't know.

[Danny Heifetz]

They should. I they should know it's preseason year one. Preseason and the end and preseason and all star All Star in preseason year two. And then you tried in the NBA cup and then you try for a full season.

[Danny Kalm]

I have a question for you guys I don't want to forget, so just remind me to ask you again about baseball. So continue what you're saying and then we'll come back to it.

[Danny Heifetz]

So I. Well, Colts emails about tanking. So he says Bill nearly got there in Bill's recent mailbag, but I finished his idea for him. The answer to tanking is you have to announce you are tanking. And once you announce it, you are tanking. You are actually just eliminated from playoff contention altogether. You are not allowed to make it. Once you announce your tribe bankruptcy and then from that moment in hotels you declare tanking. Yeah, you're gonna get a noise complaint.

[Danny Kalm]

He got a noise.

[Danny Heifetz]

11:00am and not 11:00pm When Matt brings

[Danny Kalm]

the People are just going to bed now.

[Danny Heifetz]

Craig, the end of this episode should be you having the excellent sandwich.

[Craig Korlbeck]

So it's waiting for me in the other room.

[Danny Heifetz]

All right, we'll go get it. We'll do a review at the end.

[Danny Kalm]

So Colt says I should have went with egg salad. It doesn't get cold.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, once you announced it.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Go with egg salad.

[Danny Kalm]

Coward.

[Danny Heifetz]

So once you announce your tanking at that point on every win is worth a point. And whoever has the most points at the end of the year gets the first pick.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Oh, like a win is worth a loss essentially.

[Danny Heifetz]

So a win is worth a loss and it's like, so then the second most points gets the second pick. So now the incentive to win is there at the end of the season and you are gambling with other teams. And so basically towards the end of the year, there's a staring contest to see who's going to start first. And then that point everyone's actually competing. You could hypothetically announce your tanking on the first day of the season to almost guarantee you get the first pick. Pick. But there would be social pressure. Not give up. And if there's a tie at the end of the season, like two teams at 27 points, you have a one game playoff to have the number one pick. But this I think is the toilet answer because it's like if the Utah Jazz and Wizards, instead of just being a fucking abomination, they actually just have to win games. Well, and I'm like, I kind of like it.

[Craig Korlbeck]

The only thing, the only issue is that I don't know how many players would would want to try their hardest to win to basically find their replacement.

[Danny Heifetz]

I can't fix 20 year old kids getting $13 million a year immediately to like be Motivated at their jobs. But I do think fans should be rooting for their teams to win. I agree. Like, I don't like, you can't just motivate NBA players to want to play basketball. But like fans should not be rooting for their teams to lose. I do think that is a problem.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Did you guys see there was another one that went around about tanking variable beer pricing to solve tanking and for every, every loss.

[Danny Kalm]

Oh, I did hear that.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Throughout the entire season, like every loss a beer at the stadium gets like 25, 25 cents cheaper. And every win it gets 10, 10 cent, 10 cents more expensive and that's it. So the Wizards, the Wizards right now appear to be like a buck 80.

[Danny Kalm]

Fans would go, so it's like how the price of gas just controls the globe.

[Craig Korlbeck]

It's like, hey, my team sucks. But you know what? It's cheap beer.

[Danny Kalm]

Dude.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I kind of love.

[Danny Heifetz]

So funny. It's like the B movie. Every time they say B, the video gets happened twice as fast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's really funny.

[Danny Kalm]

Okay, can I ask my question now?

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh yeah.

[Danny Kalm]

This is related to baseball. And when you brought it up, I thought about this. The. Over the weekend, Gavin Sheets hit a walk off home run and for the Padres, I believe. And that's how much I know baseball. And but he, I, I was thinking at the time, I'm like, that is cool. Like that's the coolest looking play in sports is a walk off home run. And I was trying to decide whether if there was any other cooler was like catching a game, winning touchdowns. Pretty cool.

[Craig Korlbeck]

No, not even close.

[Danny Kalm]

But it doesn't, it doesn't really. It to me, it doesn't capture sort of the one on one nature of annihilating a pitch out of the stadium at 100 miles an hour. I don't think there's anything cooler than when Shohei Otani takes a high heater just out of the yard and you see it. I'm like, him and Barry Bonds are the only ones where I'm like, holy, these guys are actually aliens when they hit the ball. You know what the coolest, most like primal feeling. I don't know what it is, but I'm like, that's cool.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I agree. I think a walk off homer is the coolest thing you can do in sports. And it's the coolest look. And I think it's because, yeah, the, the focus is on the human and not the ball. Right? Like right when, when Tiger makes a big putt, you follow the ball and like football, you're following the ball. Even like if Steph hits a three, it's like you're following the ball. And the climax is the ball going in the hoop. If show hits a homer, the ball leaves the frame and it's Shohei standing there looking at it, just admiring the moment. It's not the ball going 100. It is, it is standing there and like posing in the bat flip or whatever it is. And that's the image that's crazy in your brain.

[Danny Heifetz]

That is such a good point. You are dead on. Because I was thinking about, I've been thinking about how I think maybe the coolest stat right now in any sport is that Freddie Freeman is the only player to have a walk off home run in two different games of the World Series.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Like, if you think about, if you think about that, fundamentally, every kid who's ever picked up a baseball game walk off grand slam.

[Craig Korlbeck]

He had.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah. Walked up. Yeah. To walk off grand slam. And he's had two. I think. Or no, I think there's two different walk off grand slams. And it's like every kid has always wanted to do that in a game and in the World Series and he's the only one in the world to have done it twice. But when I think of Freddie Freeman hitting the home run, I think of the way he's holding the bat. You're so right. I'm thinking of the, of Freddie Freeman, not Tiger Woods's little Nike ball rolling in. I'm thinking of Freddie Freeman.

[Craig Korlbeck]

There's something about Joe Carter.

[Danny Kalm]

Joe Carter did it too, by the way.

[Danny Heifetz]

Two walk off home runs.

[Danny Kalm]

No, no. I mean, he hit a grand slam walk off in the, in the World Series.

[Craig Korlbeck]

There's something I don't know to me, like, no. Knowing it's a home run and standing there for a second, like not immediately having to run to first base is just the coolest thing.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's the coolest thing ever. Also because it's impossible, like you could stand at a certain point in NBA court and make a 40 foot shot. You literally, you could. If the ball's just sitting there. You could never hit a ball out of an MLB stadium. Yeah.

[Danny Kalm]

I think when I'm trying to think of it, other cooler thing, maybe Steph hitting like a 40 foot three. Just like stepping into it now.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Steph three against OKC.

[Danny Kalm]

Yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Where Enos can't.

[Danny Kalm]

That's pretty cool.

[Craig Korlbeck]

The balls in the air. That's awesome. But, but, but, but if, yeah.

[Danny Kalm]

If I had the choice of being a pro athlete and getting to do the coolest thing imaginable as a pro athlete. To me, hitting a walk off, there's nothing cooler than that. I don't know why. It's just so in the call on, on the sheets. One in particular was just like, he's like, holy sheets. It's just like so, so cool.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I think there's also something to like, like whatever. If you hit a half court shot to win a game in college or the NBA, that is probably an amazing feeling and it's really cool. But it's lucky. And when you hit a home run, it's not lucky. It's like because you're at the peak of your powers. You know what I mean? It's not like, oh, we banked in a 60 footer, that's awesome. But it's also like you got kind of lucky.

[Danny Kalm]

And you know what else adds to it is you get to round the bases. There's like this, there's a celebration tour. Yeah, it's fucking amazing. You're literally taking, you're taking a fucking lap.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's literally a victory lap.

[Danny Kalm]

It's quite literally a victory, an actual victory lap. But that you have to do. You're supposed to, right?

[Danny Heifetz]

And you're so right. And I think the other part is that it's the fact that when you hit the baseball, you were supposed to sprint as fast as possible the first base, right? But when you hit a home run, you know immediately and they stare at it and you know it's a home

[Danny Kalm]

run by their crowds just going fucking bonkers.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Their body though, is the first thing that you think it's a home run is because they're just staring and watching it. They're like. And you're like, oh my God.

[Craig Korlbeck]

And you get to run through enemy territory. You're running around all of their, the

[Danny Kalm]

other guys, not you, you're on their sideline.

[Craig Korlbeck]

You go run through their turf and then meet your friends back at the beginning.

[Danny Kalm]

In every other sport that would be considered bad. Like, you know, imagine if like, or

[Craig Korlbeck]

whatever, Justin Jefferson catches a game winning touch and then runs just through the packers sideline.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah.

[Danny Kalm]

It's so good. It is.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh my God, you're so right, dude.

[Danny Kalm]

It just like I, I think about the goosebumps you have just doing that you get. And then you get to just bathe in it as you, as you round the bases. Everyone's just, everyone's waiting for you at

[Craig Korlbeck]

home with pouring beer on your head.

[Danny Kalm]

And then they all, every team sort of has like their Celebration or whatever, man.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Cool.

[Danny Kalm]

Baseball's not dead, guys.

[Danny Heifetz]

So many milled in and they wanted.

[Danny Kalm]

Carlos wants to kill it.

[Danny Heifetz]

Someone emailed in and they wanted advice for a bachelor party. And one of my friends, they just were like, we went to a park and they just had a homeroad derby. And I was like, God, that was fun.

[Craig Korlbeck]

We did that at my bachelor party. I did at home from derby.

[Danny Heifetz]

So fun because you're like, oh. And they fielding and then you get up to bat, you're like, I'm. I'm fucking Mark McGuire.

[Craig Korlbeck]

We basically just like we were. There was like 15 of us, we split into teams and we just did like beer Olympics. But it was basically just like a bunch of events where you drank. It didn't have to necessarily be beer and it'd be like home run Derby or like egg toss. The egg toss, by the way, always plays egg toss. Egg toss is always fun.

[Danny Kalm]

Dude, explain the egg.

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't even know what egg toss is.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Oh, it's like, like it's like an old carnival style game, you know, where it's literally just like you're in pairs of two and oh like, oh.

[Danny Kalm]

Throwing the egg to each other break.

[Craig Korlbeck]

And you take a step back each time. That always is fun. If you're out on a field that just works. It's a great game because then it gets down to like two teams and everyone's like watching and there's like weirdly like the friend you didn't expect is actually amazing at like caressing an egg from 40ft away. It's great.

[Danny Kalm]

It's always that guy.

[Danny Heifetz]

Damn. Now I, now I kind of want to do this at my bash.

[Craig Korlbeck]

You should do it. Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Damn, that's kind of sick.

[Danny Kalm]

Anyway, let me know in, in the emails if you can think of something cooler than a walk off home run.

[Danny Heifetz]

Last is Rory McElroy hitting a ball under the first tee at, at the Masters and then just somehow getting a bogey to win. But I, I bring that up because I wanted just, just a random post I saw. Rory McElroy has won two Masters since the last time the jets intercepted a pass.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Wow.

[Danny Kalm]

Yeah. Yeah, brutal.

[Danny Heifetz]

Stop me in my tracks. All right, wait, I got, I got a couple more here. I want to, I want to read an email from David.

[Craig Korlbeck]

We've got a lot of David's and Danny's today.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh yeah, it's. Yeah, David writes breakfast coffee with whole milk and a bottle of water. Not sure if that counts since it's just liquids, but there you go.

[Danny Kalm]

Sure.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, that Counts.

[Danny Heifetz]

You guys. David writes, you guys have been talking a lot about dads taking credit for incredible things. I think I've been sitting on maybe the best one. Early to mid-90s. My dad was in an outdoor basketball league, and a bunch of the neighborhood kids were always watching my dad and his friends play basketball. And then the kids would go on the court and kind of play basketball before their game, and then the game ends, and then the kids would come back on the court and play basketball after the game. And my dad would help, you know, he kind of teach him a little. And my dad's number one rule for basketball that he's always preaching is you pass it to the man is open and closest to the basket. And he taught the kids how to chest pass. He taught the kids how to bounce pass. He would work with the measure the games. And he remembers one particular kid really caught on immediately with the passing thing. Really caught on with the drip, with the chest pass, with the bounce pass. My dad lived in Akron, Ohio, so.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Okay, keep going.

[Danny Heifetz]

So when one local kid started blowing up in high school and he was on the COVID of Sports Illustrated, his high school games are in ESPN. My dad's like, yeah, LeBron James. That's one of those neighborhood kids who would come watch my rec league games.

[Craig Korlbeck]

This guy's dad, David dad is taking credit for LeBron James.

[Danny Heifetz]

He's. His dad says, I taught LeBron James how to pass. Helped inspire LeBron James his game.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Wow. Do you think LeBron would know who this man is?

[Danny Heifetz]

I. That is what I've been wondering. I'll admit. I think in the email, I think his dad hedges a little more.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Okay.

[Danny Heifetz]

Like, I think the dad is more like, I helped inspire him. I don't think he, like, worked with LeBron every day, but he does. But his dad is insistent. Like, I did instruct him at least a few times. And I'd throw pass and, like, taught it, like, when he was young. But I love the idea that his dad's just like, yeah, I like it. One of the kids, if I did

[Craig Korlbeck]

that, if I was his dad, I'd be doing the same thing.

[Danny Kalm]

100.

[Danny Heifetz]

Taught LeBron everything he knows.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Every time. Every time LeBron makes some sick bass, I'd lean to the guy next to me. I taught him how to.

[Danny Heifetz]

Taught him that. We could ask Rich Paul to bring this up next time he sees LeBron being like, yeah, remember those guys at the rec league? All right, one more.

[Craig Korlbeck]

This.

[Danny Heifetz]

This is important. This is from. I'm redacting it to protect it our bone. For the past few years, I was a pastor at church. And I would occasionally speak on Sunday mornings. And every time I would speak, my friends and I would pick one quote from Arrested Development that I would then have to naturally work into my sermon.

[Danny Kalm]

Love it.

[Danny Heifetz]

Redacted. Writes, I've since switched careers. However, our. Our pastor was placed on a sabbatical. And I was asked to speak at Easter this year. And he writes, it would be a great honor if you guys would pick an Arrested Development quote that I need to sneak into my sermon. Easter this year. We missed it. This is my fault. This is my. L. I did not see this email on time. However, he's gonna get to do it again. And I want us to pick the Arrested Development quote that he will then work into the next sermon he gives.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I mean. I mean, we have to be somewhat kind, because there are some that he truly could not mix in.

[Danny Heifetz]

So here are the rules. So the rules are. I have to quote. The rules are that he has to say the quote naturally. He cannot be like, Remember at Arrested Development when they said there's always money in the banana stand? Like, you have to be smooth. And it has to be something you can say in front of a church congregation, families, kids. So it can't be, like, cursing or vulgar or sexual, whatever. So some lines he's already hard for

[Craig Korlbeck]

him to mix in. How much does a banana cost? $10. Like that. He probably could make that work.

[Danny Heifetz]

So some. Some lines he's already used in church. He said this already in sermons. We're just blowing right through nap time. I really doubt that one made it down the mountain. If that has a veiled criticism about me, I won't hear it, and I won't respond to it. And marry me.

[Danny Kalm]

Marry me.

[Danny Heifetz]

And so he says, with your help, this will be the best one yet. Thank you for all you do. And so I had a. I thought

[Danny Kalm]

having a love affair with this ice cream sandwich.

[Danny Heifetz]

I said that to my dad on the phone. My brother had his baby shower this week.

[Danny Kalm]

And why don't you marry the ice cream sandwich?

[Danny Heifetz]

My dad discovers there's a gelato store downstairs from my brother's place, right? His baby shower. My dad is like, do they take cash? I'm like, probably. He's like, are you sure? And I'm like, actually, not really, no. And so I have to give my dad a credit card to go get ice cream. Which was a real role reversal, because I'm like, I don't know. Maybe they don't take cash. So I call him and I thought it was coming back up. And in 45 minutes goes by, I'm like, where are you? I call him and he's like, this is the best gelato. And I'm like, why don't you marry the gelato?

[Craig Korlbeck]

Anyway, down there for 45 minutes, just buying more gelato and eating was unbelievable.

[Danny Heifetz]

Why did you marry the ice cream sandwich? Anyway, I want to. I had a couple ones that I thought would be good. 1. Obviously, I don't understand the question and I won't respond to it, of course.

[Danny Kalm]

I mean, that's up there.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah. But I thought the one that really works is obviously in the Bible. There is a book of Job.

[Danny Kalm]

Okay.

[Danny Heifetz]

I wanted.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I don't care for Job.

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't care for Job.

[Danny Kalm]

I love all my children equally. I love all my Bible books equally.

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't care for.

[Danny Kalm]

I don't care for Job.

[Danny Heifetz]

But if you guys have any, we'll figure out.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Illusions, Michael.

[Danny Kalm]

Tricks are what do for money. It's not gonna work.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Let me think.

[Danny Kalm]

I mean, I don't know what I expected. Look into a bag and then say, I don't know what I expected.

[Danny Heifetz]

Dead dove, do not eat. That's.

[Danny Kalm]

I can even use a prop there.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's coming back from the Noah come up from the flood. He's like, oh, man. Dead dove, do you not eat?

[Danny Kalm]

Oh, God. Wow. That would have changed the story. This is great.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah.

[Danny Kalm]

I need more time to think about this.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I've made a huge mistake.

[Danny Heifetz]

I've made a huge mistake. I thought this was incredible. Oh, my God. I. I did. I. I did this at my bar mitzvah. My friends bet me at the time. Craig, did you ever play Assassin's Creed? That was a huge game when we were growing up, my friends. So I bet me I couldn't work. The main character's name was Altair, and they bet me I couldn't work Altair into my half tour at my bar mitzvah. And boy, did I. Seamless seam. Oh, yeah. All ti here. I was like, yeah. No one knew my tour instructor. The back was very disappointed. No one else knew anyway. Yeah. Emails arrest the development.

[Danny Kalm]

Oh, there we go.

[Danny Heifetz]

Quotes that we should work into this guy's sermon right now. I like, I don't care for job. And then emails. More take purges. I love. I want more take purges.

[Danny Kalm]

Don't understand the question and I won't respond to it.

[Danny Heifetz]

It should I read it. Take purge.

[Craig Korlbeck]

No, no, no. People take purge. Let's wait.

[Danny Kalm]

I don't Want to spoil it?

[Danny Heifetz]

We've got some other ones here, but we should probably. I, I, someone did email in a good explanation of the moon gravity tide thing. Finally I understood it. But we can save that for, for another day. Craig. I want one, I want to hear about Vegas. And then I kind of want you to eat this sandwich.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I'm, I want to, I want to enjoy the sandwich in the privacy of my own room.

[Danny Heifetz]

Thank you.

[Danny Kalm]

Having a love affair with this egg salad sandwich.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Vegas update. Well, I, I just got here like yesterday afternoon, so I haven't done long enough.

[Danny Kalm]

Did you gamble yet?

[Craig Korlbeck]

I went to one presentation. I have not gambled. I did see a sneak preview. So Cinemacon is basically like all the major studios present their wares for theater owners and like basically just promote all the cool that's coming in the next couple years. So that's that theater chains across the country like play their movies and now it's basically just become a time to like release sneak previews and trailers and things like that to create buzz. I did see that. I saw the first trailer of the Social Network sequel.

[Danny Kalm]

Oh, that.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Aaron Sorkin is writing and directing and Jeremy Strong is playing Zuck. And I can't tell. It's funny. It's funny like when it's not online yet and you have to formulate your own opinion with like the other 2,000 people in the room and that's it. I can't tell if it's great or like a caricature SNL sketch because it is, it sounds, he sounds so good and he's taking it so seriously and his like posture's all erect and his hair, look it like, is Mark Zuckerberg. But I'm also like, that's Jeremy Strong from Succession. This is weird. And I know he's such like a committed actor. I can't tell if it's going to be panned or like he's going to win best actor. I have no idea either one of the two. And that was like the most talked about thing yesterday around the hotel was, was, was Jeremy Strong playing suck?

[Danny Heifetz]

I just remember that. What Brian Cox, the dad in succession, just giving a, like a real quote to. I forget Vanity Fair. I forget who did that.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Article to him. He was basically like, I'm really worried about that guy. He takes this acting thing seriously.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I can't imagine what him becoming Mark Zuckerberg on set must have been wild. But it's good. The weather's great in Vegas. I gotta say. I'm staring at Allegiant Stadium. Allegiant right now. Looks like a giant Roomba,

[Danny Kalm]

but that's what they were going for.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, Big Roomba. Can I show it?

[Danny Heifetz]

Let's see.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Let's see if I can get it. See it?

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, yeah, yeah. There you go. What floor are you on?

[Danny Kalm]

What?

[Craig Korlbeck]

51 teller.

[Danny Kalm]

What hotel are you at?

[Craig Korlbeck]

I'm at the Cosmopolitan.

[Danny Kalm]

Ooh, the Cosmo.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Kalm]

Some good. Some good restaurants in there.

[Craig Korlbeck]

There are Waffle Hoe. Egg Slut. Waffle Ho. There's that. Dave Momofuku's here.

[Danny Kalm]

Dave Chang. Yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Shouts out Dave Chang. Yeah. It's like 75 and sunny here. It's freaking great. Living the dream. Going. Going to Warner Brothers tonight. Gonna see their presentation. I'm excited. I hope they show the. There's a new Tom Cruise movie where he's not playing Ethan Hunt or Maverick. He's actually in a movie directed by Alejandro, Alejandro Inaritu called Digger, and it's with Tom Cruise.

[Danny Kalm]

What's it about?

[Craig Korlbeck]

I don't know. It's a comedy, though, apparently.

[Danny Heifetz]

A comedy comedy.

[Danny Kalm]

It's a comedy by the guy that did the Revenant.

[Danny Heifetz]

I was literally gonna say the Revs. A guy in a comedy. The least.

[Danny Kalm]

Just a laugh a minute.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Feel good.

[Danny Kalm]

Movie of the summer.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Let me get the log line here. It's a satirical black comedy with Sandra Healer, Tom Cruise. Riz Ahmed, most powerful man in the world, embarks on a frantic mission to prove he is humanity's savior before the disaster he's unleashed, destroys everything. Do with that what you want.

[Danny Kalm]

Okay.

[Craig Korlbeck]

All right, cool. I'm intrigued. I got to say, I kind of like Vegas. It's good for two, three days. It's fun. You go once a year. Once every other year. Like, I have a good time here. I almost think because Vegas is so old school, it's, like, almost coming back around to me where I. I like the pomp and circumstance and the ridiculousness of it and, like, the showiness. I feel like everyone just sits at home and orders DoorDash and watches TV. Now I'm like, dude, being inside of a Caesar's palace, you are, like, transported.

[Danny Kalm]

You're like, I am like, Caesar live here.

[Craig Korlbeck]

There is nothing like this. Like, it's so, like, great.

[Danny Heifetz]

Nobody pull out a phone. Nobody tell me what time it is.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I know. It's. It's remarkable. Like, walking. Walking around. You're just like, I can't believe these buildings were constructed and that this works and that people come here. It's unbelievable. There's nothing else, like, It.

[Danny Heifetz]

And it's funny as walking by the slots in a casino and all these boomers. It's never always young people. It's always boomers on slots and they just look dead eyed. And you're like, oh. And you're like, oh, that's what I look like on my phone.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Exactly.

[Danny Heifetz]

They're just like on slots and you're like, man, what is.

[Danny Kalm]

It's like everyone else. Yeah, they're getting their little. What is it? The. The cortisol feeder. Yeah, the dopamine.

[Danny Heifetz]

Hit dopamine. Dopamine IV on the slots.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I just feel like I'm on another planet and I enjoy that.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's like this is spit off this planet.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I'm going to the Sphere tonight also.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, are you seeing fish?

[Craig Korlbeck]

I'm seeing the wizard of Oz.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, that's. I'm very. I'm very jealous.

[Craig Korlbeck]

So we'll see.

[Danny Heifetz]

Never heard a bad word about the Sphere.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I know.

[Danny Heifetz]

Free ads though.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I know. Dolan.

[Danny Kalm]

Are you going to be able to do a Cirque du Soleil?

[Craig Korlbeck]

I don't think so. Last year we saw David Copperfield, but then he's kind of canceled now and

[Danny Heifetz]

so we were, we learned that on the last show.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I like subtly tried to communicate to you guys at Evis, but there were other acts that like Matt wants us to go see like really kitschy old school like that. He wants us to see like Carrot Top, but.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, come on, dude, we talked about Carrot Top. You gotta see Carrot Top or like,

[Craig Korlbeck]

or like Penn and Teller, like things like that.

[Danny Kalm]

What.

[Danny Heifetz]

What is their deal? They're just a comedy duo.

[Danny Kalm]

Comedy magicians.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

I've seen everything you'd ever watch.

[Danny Kalm]

Yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Illusions, Michael.

[Danny Heifetz]

Comedy. Illusion.

[Craig Korlbeck]

But we landed on the Sphere, so we're seeing. I'm very excited, dude.

[Danny Heifetz]

They claim they're going to build a severe in. I. That's that word I always say, Sphere.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Sphere. Are they going to build.

[Danny Heifetz]

They're going to try to build one, believe it or not. Maryland. They claim they're going to make Maryland.

[Craig Korlbeck]

They do one in like Dubai or. No, I.

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, that might be on pause for a little bit.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Right? Yeah, I know. They need the space. Like you can't really put it in New York. Where would it go? Like, it'd have to be like in like out there in Queens or something, I guess. But then it's like. That's kind of weird.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah. Where. Yeah, I don't, I don't know.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Like the Sphere works in Vegas and when you look at it, you're like yeah, that makes sense. It's just.

[Danny Heifetz]

Can you see it from your hotel?

[Craig Korlbeck]

Not from. From the other. From the other side of the hotel?

[Danny Kalm]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yes. What's on it right now? Is it like a giant eyeball or what the hell is on that thing?

[Craig Korlbeck]

I can't see it from here, but it's probably like a minion just follows you.

[Danny Kalm]

It follows you everywhere you go. Like this great Eye of Sauron.

[Craig Korlbeck]

It was a minion once, which was. I thought that was fun.

[Danny Heifetz]

I love the idea that James Dolan was like, build the whole thing out of screens. And they were like, no, you can't. And they're like, holy. I think we can.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Whoa, whoa.

[Danny Kalm]

What's your favorite casino, Craig? Do you have one?

[Danny Heifetz]

No, I, I, I, I'm not.

[Danny Kalm]

You're not well versed enough.

[Craig Korlbeck]

No, I have no idea. Also, like, it's tough because all the minimum, like, New York, New York, I'm like, I want to go play craps, but, like, I need like a $10, $15 minimum. I'm not doing.

[Danny Heifetz]

What are the minimums?

[Craig Korlbeck]

I think at the Cosmo last night it was like 25, which is like. Yeah, it's kind of high. I want, I want. Like last year we went to the Flamingo, I think, and it was cheap. It was like 10, 15 bucks and that. So we might do that.

[Danny Kalm]

I've stayed at the Flamingo before.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, dude. My brother and I joke. Dude, there's a line in Oceans. I forget what probably 13 was. Saul, my brother, I say all the time where they're like. When they opened the flamingo in 1952, one day it was closed when it was an opening. What's this soft opening?

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, the Flamingo was apparently like a real. Like, that was like a big spot for Sinatra and Dean Martin in the

[Danny Heifetz]

gang studio 54 of its time. Yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

So anyway, I'll. I guess the next episode we do is Take Purge. But I'll be back from Vegas and I can give a full report after the take Purge.

[Danny Heifetz]

I can't wait for the Take Purge. You guys gotta get ready. I have some takes. Okay. Email should take Purges. Thank you, dk. Thank you, Craig. Thank you to Vegas. Thank you to Xlut. Thank you to Bellany. Thank you to Cam. Thank you, Carlos. Thank you, Austin. Thank you, Abu. Thank you, everyone, for listening.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Thank you. Slut is not a sponsor.

[Danny Heifetz]

No, it's just a passion project. Thank you to anyone who wants to invest in Waffle Hobby. Email [e-mail] you get to see him make the waffles online.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Or our new name consultant. Brand name.

[Danny Heifetz]

Brand name. Brand. Email. Yeah, name brand if you want. Yeah, if we want, email us.

[Craig Korlbeck]

That's it.

[Danny Heifetz]

We're going to fix people. Shark Lewis.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Dude, the irony about that is as I don't think I have a great name. I need. I need to hire my own company. Me.

[Danny Kalm]

It's the hair club for men thing. Not only. Not only am I the owner, I'm one of its clients.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Take it from me, Clark Hogback.

[Danny Heifetz]

You're just white Goodman. You're like, look, I used to be disgusting.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Take it from me, Lightning McQueen.

[Danny Heifetz]

Thank you, Lord Lauren.

[Danny Kalm]

Thank you, Bruno Mars.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, debt free.

[Danny Kalm]

Debt free, baby. Hell yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't know if he spit him out.

[Danny Kalm]

Well, that's what he says.

[Danny Heifetz]

Wasn't he. I think you know the beginning of Space Jam when the guy kind of just has to play basketball forever. He's in that kind of Bruno Mars in debt in Vegas.

[Danny Kalm]

No, no. I don't know if you guys saw this, but the news came out this week. He. He says he's debt free from Vegas. He's good to go.

[Craig Korlbeck]

He's on. He's on a world tour now doing his new album. He's not there, you know, in the. I don't. Was it in the Cosmopolitan or in Caesar's Palace? He has a. He has a nightclub called Pinky Ring that I walked by. Pinky Ring, kind of a cool name. That's a great name. Name brand would have come up with that.

[Danny Kalm]

We would have come up with that.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, we'll name restaurants, buildings, people, the animals. We'll name anything.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, we'll rebrand you. If you have a boring name, email simult. Rebrand you. I'm so. I'm. I'm getting married this year and I don't think I'm gonna play Bruno Mars. I think I want to marry you. I don't think I'm gonna do any of that.

[Danny Kalm]

Craig had that rule.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I did.

[Danny Kalm]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Was that your rule at your wedding? Oh, I probably. You incepted me.

[Danny Kalm]

You did inception him.

[Craig Korlbeck]

No. Bruno Mars. Yeah, that's right.

[Danny Heifetz]

I think you incepted me. Yeah, that's definitely where I got it from.

[Craig Korlbeck]

No, I can only hear 24 karat magic so many times. You know what I mean? I don't. Don't believe me? Just watch. I just. I don't. I can't do it. I can't do any more of it.

[Danny Kalm]

Oh, that's funny.

[Craig Korlbeck]

That's Uptown Funk. But it doesn't matter.

[Danny Heifetz]

They're all the same.

[Craig Korlbeck]

You get it. You get it.

[Danny Heifetz]

Goodbye. Everyone. Must be 21 plus and present in select states. For Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino, or 18/ plus and present in D.C. kentucky or Wyoming. Gambling Problem Call 1-800-Gambler or 1-800-My Reset, call 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org chat in Connecticut or visit MD gamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelp linema.org or call 800-327-124. 7 support in Massachusetts or call 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text hopeny in New York. For Louisiana, call 1-877-770-7867.